Accidental Survivor

“Breast cancer survivor, that’s me! In March 2018, I somehow discovered a lump”.- Marisa Barrio

“Somehow.” Like many women, I rarely do self-exams. Then at the doctor’s, I lie and say I do them ALL the time.

I went to my gyno, got a mammogram, and the results said it was a cyst, no cancer!

I went to Africa after the results.

After getting home, I turned my phone on and listened to my messages. There was one from my gynecologist: “This is Dr. Hernandez.”

She called me. Date August 31. It was now Saturday, September 22. Panic set in. When the doctor calls you personally, it’s going to be bad. I tried to remain calm, I kept on touching the lump, and in my head, it had grown to twice the size.

Waiting until Monday to call felt like forever. Upon answering, I expected to be patched through to her, but I wasn’t. They said she’d get back to me soon.

LIE! I kept telling myself it would be nothing. She just wanted to reconfirm it was a cyst, or she got me mixed up with another patient.

When we spoke, she said, “Looking at the results of your mammogram, I remember what I felt on you, and it doesn’t match, get a second opinion from an ONCOLOGIST.”

She might as well have said Grim Reaper. Calmly I answered, “sure,” as if she’d just asked me to pass the salt.

This could not be happening.

I got an appointment with an oncologist for a week later.

Didn’t they understand it could be cancer?

This experience has taught me how to be patient and that I’M NOT SPECIAL. At the appointment, I was able to pretend (mostly to myself) I was ok. I could feel my heart racing. The doctor did a sonogram, felt my breast for what seemed like forever, and he said, “hm... could be anything. I would need to do a biopsy,”

I replied, “DO IT NOW!!!

He performed the biopsy with a needle that was the size of a ruler. I thought that would make the lump explode, and I’d have cancer everywhere.

Here’s where patience started to kick in. I had to wait for the results.

Days later, the doctor called. Again, if the doctor calls, say it with me, “It’s not going to be good.”

He said, “Unfortunately…” After that, I heard nothing else. It was cancer.

I thought, “I am going to die.”

I wondered if people with cancer think that.

I feel that if they don’t, they’re lying. You do crazy things when you’re afraid.

Then, an Aha Moment! I lived in Texas, and MD Anderson Hospital was in Houston, I went online and registered. Three days later, I met my surgeon and got the exact diagnosis, Infiltrating Duct Carcinoma. I had a lumpectomy (they leave your breast and only take the tumors), and luckily one day before, they found another tumor. After surgery, I felt great, so great that I opened my wound, so I had another surgery.

Later my oncologist told me I didn’t need chemo, so no hair loss; vanity is a key player in cancer. I had six weeks of radiation with no adverse effects.

Five years later, I’m still cancer free. I still get terrified before my checkups, but I’ll be fine.

No one shows you what breast cancer REALLY looks like.

Most people see pink ribbons, breast cancer walks/races, posters, reminders for self-exams, etc.

Scars, no breasts, radiation burns, implants, and hair loss are what the disease REALLY is.

Check yourself, and go to the doctor. I became an Accidental Survivor, don’t let it be you.