LETTER FROM THE EDITORS So, you’ve picked up this little magazine and you wonder if this is the magazine for you. And that’s a great question. Pat yourself on the back now to congratulate yourself for being the frugal consumer that you are. Unless that was not your initial thought, in which case you could try thinking more in that vein. Just saying. We like to think of ourselves as a thoughtful magazine, as logic is the crux that our magazine revolves around. mindscrew cannot be branded as a technology magazine for the same reason that it cannot be pegged as a pets magazine; the pool that we draw from is simply too vast for an all-encompassing name tag. Unless “everything” happens to be a legitimate option. So long as you love logic or the tang of wit, then you will find a happy home in the pages of mindscrew*. The average American does not think nearly as much as is healthy for them. So here we are, mindscrew in magazine form, here to addle the mind, to bring a grin to your face, to get those rusted cogs in your brain a-turning again. Crank up your brains to full suction now. There’s been an unimaginable amount of work put into this magazine, and you wouldn’t want it to go to waste, now, would you? Each and every paragraph of mindscrew has been carefully crafted, sculpted with just the right amount of vitriol to be profound, but not nearly enough to come across as bitter and jaded. Humour is sprinkled throughout the masterpiece to tickle the reader every once in a while, though not enough to irritate like a gadfly. We hope that you enjoy our magnum opus, the first and last issue of mindscrew. Paradoxically yours, Alec Berry Monk Conti Gavriel Rachael-Homann Stephen Ngo The mindscrew Staff *Unless you plan to physically live in it, which we do not recommend. FedEx boxes do the job much better, in a pinch.
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DO YOU LIKE YOUR TASTE BUDS EXTRA CRISPY?
SPICE UP YOUR MEALS WITH
THE FIRE ON THE LOGO IS PHOTOSHOPPED
BUT THE HEAT FROM THIS SAUCE IS REAL
DANTE NEVER FORESAW THIS CIRCLE OF HELL MADE WITH THE UNQUENCHABLE FIRE OF THE SOUL AGGRESSIVE ADVERTISING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I GUESS THAT YOU JUST AREN’T MANLY ENOUGH FOR THIS SAUCE
THE COPS USES THIS STUFF IN THEIR CROWD CONTROL SPRAY
YOU’LL CRY HARDER THAN WHEN YOU WATCHED THE TITANIC.
ALEC B
THE MASTERMINDS BEHIND THE
Mindscrew monk = new MindScrew(); monk.load(); System.output.println(monk) Loading 71.529<MONK>… DONE. Loading statistics… Holiness .………………0.000001% Power …………..….......83.7% Wisdom ………….……MAX Morality Core ……........UNKNOWN Wit ……………….........89.2% Work Drive ………........ACTIVE Brain Capacity …………87.3% Extra Abilities ………….58.4% Expiration Date…………NEVER O.C.D…………………...39.8% Complete. Mindscrew alec = new MindScrew();
Would you like to play a game…?
Loading… DONE Loading statistics… Emotion…………………ERROR Faith………………….....UNDEFINED Energy…………………..99% Creativity...........……..MAX Morality Core…………..ERROR Sarcasm………………....MAX
4 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
MONK C
alec.load(); System.out.println(alec);
MAGAZINE. A NOBLE BAND OF FOUR.
THE STAFF
STEPHEN N
Mindscrew gavriel = new MindScrew(); gavriel.load(); System.out.println(gavriel); Loading 10.10.32.64<GAVRIEL>… DONE. Loading statistics… Faith……………...ERROR Energy…………..…24.3% Work Ethic…………LOW Cognitive Capacity…MAX Morality Core…... ERROR Sarcasm……………68.5%
stephen.load(); System.out.println(stephen); Loading 10.10.32.197<STEPHEN>… DONE. Loading statistics… Emotion…………ERROR Volume.……………01.4% Energy……………43.6% Cognitive Capacity…MAX Morality Core…STABLE Sarcasm……UNDEFINED
GAVRIEL RH
Mindscrew stephen = new MindScrew();
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 5
TABLE OF Hopelessly lost in our magazine? That’s alright. Here’s a handy
2 4 8 11 13 14 16 19 24 27 31 6 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
CONTENTS guide on how and what to read. Just don’t miss a left turn.
LETTER FROM THE EDITORS BIOGRAPHIES OF THE EDITORS GOOGLE: OUR BENIGN OVERLORD ART FROM THE STREETS HOW TO LAUNDER MONEY MINDSCREW’S GUIDE FOR HOW TO USE A COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY AND YOU, A LOVE STORY ENTERTAINING EVIL LOST IN LASA THE ART OF PROCRASTINATION WHICH COMMUNIST ARE YOU? DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 7
ART EDITED BY STEPHEN N
GOOGLE: OUR BENIGN OVERLORD By Stephen N
W
hen you think of Google, you think of a white homepage and its simple, colorful logo resting on top of the search bar in the center of the page. You think of that 100 on the essay that you wrote in one sitting the night before it was due, all thanks to Google’s PageRank technology. You think of the philanthropic company, which ranks number 1 in Fortune magazine’s Top 100 Companies to Work For. But seldom do you think of Google’s spy cars, patrolling the world in a crosscontinental surveillance effort. Nor does it occur to you that Google has access to anything and everything you do on Chrome. Say what you will about the company’s unofficial slogan of “Don’t be evil” or the company’s various philanthropic ventures (such as its funding towards green technology and warning systems in case of calamity). All the same, entrusting any one company with as much personal information as we allow Google could prove to be tremendously harmful. We are becoming increasingly reliant on Google for our media needs; YouTube, Blogger and gMail are but a mere sample of Google’s technological scope. And progress marches on. Google constantly seeks to improve on its existing products as well as creating new technologies. Keeping large tracts of data is both Google’s forte and one of the hallmarks of its modus operandi. What could this mean for Google Earth, which already has the capabilities for a user to
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view individual streets thanks to Google’s legions of photographers? And what of the upcoming Google OS and its phone, the Android? “Assimilation plot” is overly melodramatic and rather inaccurate, but Google’s vast data reserves would make the KGB proud and does pose a danger to our security. Google’s recent joint proposal with Verizon for net neutrality may seem initially attractive, however putting it under scrutiny reveals its dubious nature. Certainly, the proposal’s bid for proper regulation of access to all web content is quite a handsome idea, given that it would allow consumers “access to all legal content on [wireline broadband] Internet, and can use what applications, services, and devices they choose”. By the proposed policy, companies would be disallowed the opportunity to buy “faster lanes” on the internet, and thus all content would be weighted equally, as far as how quickly they will load on a user’s browser. Don’t start prostrating in front of the Google shrine just yet,
though; digital egalitarianism comes with some gaping at their fingertips, if they so choose to backdoors built in. abuse it. The general public knows this, Putting the proposal under greater scrutiny shows and yet so much information is entrusted that Google’s “7 Net Commandments”, as the electronic for Google, due to faith in Google’s ability publication DVice refers to the doctrine, does not level to prevent data leakages. David Barksdale the internet playing field as much as one would hope. can be seen as a harsh wake-up call to the One will notice that wireless Internet and select cases, trusting masses. including but not limited to “advanced educational In July, Barksdale was fired from services, or new entertainment and gaming options” Google’s elite ranks for breaking Google according to Google, are completely exempt from the protocol, using his resources to taunt and regulation. Indeed, in the announcement, Google stated blackmail minors by holding the informathat “under this proposal we would not now apply tion on their Google Accounts hostage. most of the wireline principles to wireless, except for While he was eventually apprehended, it the transparency requirement”, and expressed healthy took Google months to catch word of the interest in the development of wireless broadband. self-proclaimed hacker. Luckily, Barksdale’s Putting no restraints on wireless Internet certainly predation was not sexual, but it does go to opens up a considerable amount of room for a user to show the chinks in Google’s shining armor. be taken advantage of, as Google, or any big company, Google has claimed that it will be more for that matter, could buy unbanned speed lanes and rigorous in watching their logs, though the thus monopolize mobile Internet. After all, with 56% vow is not nearly as reassuring as needed of American adults accessing the Internet through to remedy the drop in faith. wireless Internet, Google could find hogging fast lanes Google’s virtual mapping products faced as lucrative as a hotel on Boardwalk Avenue. Granted, trouble with unearthing a British reconGoogle shows no malicious intent, though there is naissance service’s base, which, as ZDNet quite a bit of potential in the loopholes of the suggested puts it, remained “off maps for donkey’s policy, and until it is resolved, Google will find its intenyears”. Which is to say a long time, before tions questioned. Google took the liberty of taking street view Google’s lack of considand aerial images, courtesy of eration regarding privacy satellite. Machiavelli stated that can and has pose more Buzz, too, initially raised immediate dangers to the it is better to be feared, though acute privacy concerns when, common user. By the terms to be needed is better still. upon release, it was noted that of service agreement that Buzz left the entirety of an Google understands this... a Google user generally individual’s G-Mail contact list skips over, Google Chrome visible and public. Upon the can access “all content you insistence of information czars submit, post or display”. worldwide, Google patched up the solution, Everything is logged in Google’s gargantuan database though the czars commented on the “disapwithout fail, a rather unsettling thought as the compointing disregard for fundamental privacy pany rose to power by excelling in data storage and norms and laws”. retrieval. Machiavelli stated that it is better to Furthermore, Google Maps and Google Earth allows be feared than loved, though to be needed a user to locate any location on the planet, specific is better still. Google understands this; its down to the address, complete with a view of the street, expansion makes them not only adored, but so long that it is registered Google’s yawning chasms of also nearly indispensable to modern life, information. Orwellian society comes to mind, but one leaving Google users unhealthily reliant on cannot help but admire the lengths that Google goes the company. From its early development to in order to make its technology stalker friendly. To at Stanford onwards, Google has develgather all this information, Google has a fleet of spy oped exponentially, rising in prestige as it cars, as TechCrunch, ZDNet and related publications branched out. When Google broke off from playfully refer to them, employed to drive around and Stanford, they first made base in a garage. take pictures for the panoramic feature in Maps and Now they are lodged at the Googleplex, Earth. housing all of its employees in a campus With so much information at their disposal, any environment with work standards unparalGoogle employee has a considerably amount of power
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 9
Yes. Both Her Majesty and His Holiness have YouTube channels.
WHAT GOOGLE DOES FOR YOU Browser Sketch-Up News Trends YouTube Talk Desktop Maps Docs Moon Reader Blogger Sites Knol Earth Calender Translate Images Mars Books Voice Mail Shopping Finance Search Chrome OS Health
Orkut
Picnik Picasa Scholar
Get
the picture?
10 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
leled. Fortune named Google the best company to work for, and the world seems to readily agree. Journalist Mark Gunther cites “its speedy search engine, the oodles of free storage on Gmail, Google Maps that get me where I need to go” among other reasons as the source of his Google love. And indeed, Google’s insane utility lends itself to its popularity. Google Maps helps immensely with travel, Google Earth can be used in studying the earth, the search engine replaces the mundane task of explanation, Chrome is considerably fast. They acquired Blogger, which is exceptionally convenient and widely used, Android for the phone among many others. YouTube is arguably its largest catch, however, due to its massive audience. It’s commonly used as a medium for podcasts or promotion, be it from bands, animation companies, authors, the Queen of England and the Vatican. Yes. Both Her Majesty and His Holiness have YouTube channels. Which is proof enough that Google is used by practically everyone. From the perspective of Google, this is most excellent. All the same, some users are quite dependent on Google, myself included, admittedly, and this need for Google’s existence for our life is nothing short of an addiction. While not sporting a distinctive mustachio, Google has managed to become Big Brother, in a sense, idolized by the masses and a champion of justice to all. Of course, Google has corporate interests in mind, not political aspirations, but one has to wonder what Google does with the petabytes of data they claim to process hourly. Love them, hate them. It really makes no difference, as it looks like Google has settled comfortably into modern life and will be staying in the long run. At the very least, one should take caution to keep their data private and their suspicion healthy as we learn to exist with our benign overlord.
A R T F R O M THESTREETS Stop. Look. Listen. A breeze blows over the paper, ruffling it. A doodle, a picture worth an vast number of words is still, waiting for the individual who may fancy it. A man nearby gets up, his chair creaks, the man has a look to him, a look only one who has suffered may hardships may have. however, as the man glances upon his work, a smile draws on his face. A family walks up to him, artwork in hand, asking if they may buy it. He glows, gratefully accepting. The family walks out through the door, past the entrance sign reading Art From the Streets. DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 11
A
homeless. Often people who come to the show for the first time are blown away by the creativity and talent. And it has the impact of changing our reacrt From the Streets is an awesome event tion our automatic reaction to homeless people.” to benefit the homeless. It was founded by a group When asked about her favorite piece, she replied of Austin artists who decided to do something good with “It sort of changes every year, I learn a lot for the community. They opened their studios and they are sort of involved in their ongoing commitgave free art lessons to the homeless, who then got ment to their work. People’s work has changedto sell their art in an exhibition. One of these art- their work has developed so I get very inspired. ists is still running the show, and she’s loved every Sometimes in the open studio I ask people ‘what moment of it. do you think?’ and I am learning from them and it is really authentic. I mentioned one of my favorite Heloise Gold, a dancer/performer and Tai Chi artists who’s work was in the show. Heloise iminstructor conducts one of the weekly classes, mediately knew who he was, and described how recruits volunteers to assist with the annual show, she felt about him “Hugh is a wonderful artist. I and plays a key part in the production of the anknow him very well. He has a boy who is about nual show. She is one of the original founders. your age (14) who he couldn’t take care of, so they When asked about the founding of the program she had to part. I’ve visited him in jail so many times. replied with “Beverly and I decided we wanted to He is an unbelievably lovely guy. Relationships are do something creative with people who are homea huge part of Art From the Streets, it is all about less. “ It was an out of the blue decision. “ We were camaraderie and relationships. The homeless sitting on the couch, like we are right now, and participants will sometimes write back to Heloise we decided Maybe we could do something. “ said and the other volunteer members. We got a letter Heloise. The first idea they came up with was sim- from Penny. Penny has been in prison for five ply giving out sandwiches at a general hangout, years, and she is getting out in another year and a respectively named “Hobo”. While the idea half, she is so excited. She is another dear friend of worked, it started to get tedious and boring. She mine. This year Art From the Streets was held in and Beverly, the other founder decided on art, as it St. David’s, which brought it many people. While was a hobby for the both of them. “We had a little the project made a sum of $66,000 for the year, all room, and some art supplies” said Heloise, listing of the money went towards the homeless. Those the materials they needed. The two then returned who help out are all volunteer. “It is not about the to “Hobo” as well as many other places that are money.” said Heloise. frequented by the homeless. “Different people have different reactions, but most enjoy it a lot. They In Austin, everyone has the opportunity to present rely on coming to the class, nobody really demands their artistic talents and be recognized for them, much of them, and that means a lot to them, even those who own no property of their own. because they often have a lot of red tape in getting anything they want or need. A lot of people have expressed that.” said Heloise when questioned on the general reaction towards the class. “If they are not making a lot of money, a lot of people put their heart and hard work in getting their work ready for the show.” Many of the participants come back, year after year. Some of the homeless even came to rely on the show as a source of income. The show is a bridge between the poor and the rest of the community. “One of the things that has happened for me doing it for so long, it really continually breaks the barrier of how we stereotype people. It completely shatters the stereotype of who a homeless person is, there are all types of people that are
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HOW TO LAUNDER MONEY $$$ You may have some of those pesky “dirty “ bills laying around and would like to spiff them up a bit, you know make them new “clean” and ready for all sorts of great spending oportunities.
1-
The first thing one must do is aquire a large enough recepticle to put the money into. if one would like to do thing the easy way then it should probably be something that creates it’s own scrubing motion such as a washing machine, or if one has an increadibly large volume of bills, than a cement truck or the likes.
2.- Now that the instument of laundering is
3.- One’s next task is to gain access to some
4.- Once one has incorperated all of the,
hot water, if you went with the washing machine than it does the water heating for you if not than you better you should build a really big bonfire and put an ingens pot on top and heat your water that way. Then one must add the water, soap, and bills to the chosen laundering divise.
aquired, one must gather the actual cleaning ingrediants, laundry soap is recomended, and if one really wants to go all out a nice lavender scent is recomended otherwise try the normal variety.
money, soap, and hot water then its time to get cooking... em, I mean laundering . if you chose the washing machine than you shoud have a dial on top to use to turn it on if you went with the cement truck then it may be a bit more dificult...
5.- once the launduring is compleat your cash will be
a soping whet mass of green you will have to peel them apart, do this CAREFULY! Then one must dry them some how, the best way to do this is the oldfashioned way- with aclothes line in the breeze. AND then if you want your money to be really spiffy then one should grab their iron and ironing board and get cracking, slow back and forth movements once or twice per bill should do. DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 13
MINDSCREW’S GUIDE FOR
HOW TO USE A COMPUTER 一
二
三
四
七
六
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五
一
This is your monitor. Used as an aquarium or a terrarium.
二
This is a router. Used for insect rave parties.
三
This is the actual computer. Used as a toaster, as well as a place to store paper documents Used as a toaster, a pizza cutter, and a place to store paper documents
四
These are the speakers. Used to talk to the user, as well as a breathing device to keep whatever it is plugged into alive.
五
This is the printer. It is a literal “mouth” for the computer. You can feed it paper through one slot. It expels waste in the form of ink. A computer is so easy to maintain! All you have to do is remove the paper and throw it away. You don’t even need to worry about kitty litter!
六
This is the keyboard. Hit this alot to get access to various bank accounts and government facilities. If correctly calibrated, it can also be used as a global positioning device. This is a great way to learn how to do the alpha
七
This is the mouse. Isn’t he cute? Make sure to pet him alot, and try not to get his tail tangled. He doesn’t like that. A professional mouse handler will keep a water bowl next to his/her mouse and give his mouse a bath at least once a week.
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Technology And You: A Love Story
As life goes on, one canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but notice how reliant we are becoming on technology. Does it help us? Does it hurt us? Where is it going?
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We all have many questions about technology, and for the most part, these questions are answerable. However, what about the things we don’t think about as often, such as if technology is changing us, or if it is preventing us from changing. While these questions may seem vague or useless, they have huge impacts on our perception of reality. Many people criticize technology, or our use of it, yet they can only prove its negative effects to a certain extent. Sure, we have become less fit, worse at handwriting and calculating in the past 50 years, but we’ve come up with alternatives, and can do more than ever. We couldn’t deal with many issues that are now possible to deal with. We can jump into an alternate reality, sound effects, depth, and all. We can travel farther and faster than ever. We can create anything our imagination holds us to with computers, albeit digital, which will soon change. Technology in classrooms is changing the way we learn. In case of someone breaking in, we have security measures to alert us/keep them out. Even with everything it gives us, technology still has its negative aspects, and these aspects are negative indeed. One of its biggest problems so far has been global warming. Despite all of our technological breakthroughs, we still can’t deal with something that we have started. However, we are changing. After people found out about technologies terrible effects on the environment, they cut back on it, as well as made new technology, technology without the side-effects. This new, eco-friendly technology has cut down the effects of technology on the environment. While technology has many negative effects on our bodies, without it, we wouldn’t be able to treat many other problems for us. People can now get from almost anywhere to a hospital in no time at all, thanks to technology. Technology has become universal for all people. There isn’t a person on our world who hasn’t used a type of technology, whether it be an amish, or a reader of our magazine. So I ask you, dear reader. What do you think?
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 17
18 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 19
ENTERTAINING EVIL 20 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
[
Unless we we do do so Unless humanity humanityis isdoo doo weare areininaaversi ve we
BY Monk C
A
Narrative- Ever since man began telling stories we have had a taste for the dark. The Greeks wrote stories about bloody wars and the deaths of countless cities and rulers in there myths as well as literature. Later civilizations such as citizens of medieval Europe wrote such stories as well and now thousands of years later we have not changed. In the classic writers have still written about the gore and darkness, if one looks at the work of Shakespeare or Charles Dickens just to name a few they will find recreations of humanityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s darkest days.
]]
something now omething now medto tolive livelike like omed rsion of 1984. ion of 1984.
They are these darkest situations that mankind loves more than anything else. We have found ways of inserting problematic situations into every genre, from reality to science fiction. This has been going on for centuries though long before any television was created just look at some of Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest works. Although now if we refuse to see that this is entertainment and not the way our world really is our world will become a version of the negativity we so enjoy in our entertainment. This is becoming especially evident in our youth, with no other examples they begin to behave as if they live in the world they see on television and in books and this could have a potentially destructive affect on our society. And there is a simple fix to all of this, in order to change the path we are on; If we once again achieve a balance then we could no longer need to worry about this, a balance of good and bad would keep us thinking of ways to move forward while still having a need to do so. Since man has started writing or telling stories we have found the darkness and gore of negativity entertaining and even sometimes amusing. If what one reads in stories such as The Iliad were an accurate representation of what people of the time
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 21
[ WE HAVE FOUND WAYS OF INSERTING PROBLEMATIC SITUATIONS INTO EVERY GENRE, FROM REALITY TO SCIENCE FICTION. ]
esting point to look at and see that it is not just our generation that has entertained ourselves through the viewing of culture that depicts worlds that are often engulfed in war, crime, and bloodshed. This shows one how little our base impulses have changed since we built our firs civilizations. Many well respected modern and semimodern writers have continued this tradition of writing of such destruction and societal havoc. Anyone can tell you about the Shakespearean tragedies they were forced to read in school and how so many of them depicted brutal murders or suicides and then some would even say they were entertaining. Then as one moves to more modern works that are also regarded as classics such as 1984 or Brave New World one sees that the trend continues. As authors look at their societies they seem more and more grim. This really makes one think about how we love the dark, “glass half empty” approach on life. It is almost as if we are glad we are not the ones suffering through these atrocities. On the whole humans like to believe these are a reality or maybe awe are just gullible towards these concepts we are surrounded by. According to the New York Times, War of the Worlds a book written in the late 1800s about an alien invasion of Earth was widely believed to be a news report instead of the fictional work it really was. When the broadcast was aired in 1938 the radio was so new to the American public that the
22 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
public believed that they were about to be wiped from the face of the face of the Earth. It would maybe be more ok if we could keep everything we read or watch in perspective although we love to feel as if it was real to escape into that sense of verisimilitude. This is rather counterintuative as one would naturally think one would try to distance one’s self from such undesirable situation. Although this returns to the Ancient Greek’s belief that in order to keep ones Humors, or essential bodily fluids in balance one could never be too happy or too sad. As we move into modern times this trend continues if not worsens with the invention of film and television. Although we as humans have thought about, written about, and enjoyed negative or dark forms of entertainment. It may be hard to say why, maybe we are just to happy otherwise, although we continue to ovoid these fictions to become reality, and maybe that is why we think about the negativity, to learn from mistakes before we make them.
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 23
LASA
OST IN
even those who are ridiculusly familiar with lasa building get lost on regular basis.
24 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
BY Monk C
O One may think that top 5 nationally ranked high school in Texas would reside in an easily navigated, new building. A sprawling, beautiful building in which the students move easily and efficiently through the halls on the way to their classes. And while at LASA students usually get where there going on time the building is anything but new, and easy to get around in. With its odd three winged design the LASA building boggles even the brightest. LASA, a school built for some of the most academically advanced students in Texas is notoriously easy to get lost in. This, most would say is due to its unusual three winged design. The reason this shape makes one’s mind run in circles, sometimes literally, is that it is the exact opposite of how our brains are programmed to think of most buildings, suddenly the linear perspective of rectangular buildings becomes
circular and one can now walk in circles indefinitely. Although there is a reason behind all this; the strange aquisitions as well as the architects who designed it. There is a common attitude toward the building at LASA; often those who who are around LASA regularly vent there annoyances with getting lost, for instance student Stephen Ngo said “My brain couldn’t comprehend the irritating pseudo-triangular shape of the building.” This and the placement of the classrooms on the outer wall of the building create a lack of windows and thus a sensethat all of the halls look very similar “Yes, all of the walls and hallways look so similar and I hadn’t learned the colors yet, and had lost my schedule on the second day of school.” Said one such anonymous student speaking of what makes the building a pain to find your way in. The unusual shape of the building and monotonous halls have inspired various rumors that all seem to stemfrom the building being designed by the architect who was also responsible for designingprisons; when asked about this various students have said things like “[It] Was designedby a guy who designed prisons” Although these rumors go as far as that some say the school was a prison at some time although that has been disproven after seeing on the LBJ website that the building was constructed for the Austin
Independent School District in 1974. Even once one has been at LASA for years and is acquainted with the halls quite well it does not mean that getting lost is no longer a part of life at LASA, the monotony of the halls still makes for a hard time getting around. Even teachers have had problems with this; Ezine teacher Ms Young once said “I’ve been here for three years and I still get lost all the time.” This then is how the LASA building works; it is a winding, confusing, nearly circular building where one is never quite sure where they are going to or the best way to get there. The insanity of it though, is that even the best, quickest ways of going wherever one is going involve various instances of doubling back and running in various little circles. The other really strange and often troublesome characteristic of LASA’s home is the unusually unpredictable air conditioning; the problem with the climate control is that it is different in every hall and classroom. LASA in general is also very fond of spreading stories about why this is as well. Almost like ancient peoples creating myths to explain incomprehensible phenomena LASA students and faculty seems to make up stories for all the quirks and oddities that their building possesses. One of DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 25
these is that the school district remotely controls the temperature of our building and then randomly turns dials to play with those who are confined to the building for the many days of the school year. This is LASA, some would say that the building has as much of a personality as those who inhabit it and although it is not the sprawling, beautiful building one may imagine maybe that is a good thing. Uniqueness is not always a bad thing, sure the building is often a pain to find your way in but it keeps one on their toes and more importantly saves one from the awful boredom of a drab building.
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T
hink back to the halcyon days of elementary school. Yes. Think back to the crude crayon drawings, the cutesy arts-and-crafts project, the noteworthy playground exploits, the cheesy high-pitched singing, the slobber of nap-time. Now take a step back and slam hard on “fast-forward”. Rush through a couple of years, past some scrapes and cuts here and there and a pinch of tween angsting. The childish tendencies of elementary school melt away extremely quickly in all the heat and pressure of high school rigor. Then a threshold is crossed, the teenager years. High school hits with a resounding boom. And the flutter of homework piling up, as students come across the habit of procrastination. An individual can cope with workload with a variety of methods, though there is always one incredibly important factor at work, making the difference between going to sleep at 9:30 or 11:00 or the difference between an A and a C. It is known to all and avoided by none. This influential player is known by a simple name, a single word, in fact: procrastination. The practice certainly is old; poet Edward Young wrote that “procrastination is the thief of time”. That was in the 17th century, before the Industrial Revolution. Procrastination predates the steam engine and has been stealing time ever since. A student’s reactions to his or her workload are all markedly unique, though there are many recurring trends as far as mindset goes.
DECEMBER. 32. 2010 | 27
The Slacker
The Serious
Freshman Miriam A. does her homework at approximately the same time each night. That is, at the last minute. “Why do today what I can put off until tomorrow?” she asks with a shrug. “It’s mostly that I lack the will [to do work]. I’m lazy. I read. On occasion I write a little. I have been known to go climb trees I can’t get down from. And I get into conversations with people on [the online chat client] gChat. I can work and talk at the same time, but the work gets done very slowly.”
Arnav S. begins the lethargic march to his upstairs domain. It is not hard to see that he is utterly drained, both physically and mentally. With a sigh, the student sloughs off the burden his backpack, leaving it drop onto the off-white carpeting covering his room. Just as heavily, the student slumps into a chair while turning on his computer, bringing life to the widescreen monitor sitting among the clutter of a six-weeks’ worth of productivity. But alas, there is not room to indulge in feeling miserable. After all, it’s homework time.
Regardless of how many times Miriam finds herself working into the wee hours of the night she says that she “never learn[s], for some reason. I have maybe about 3-4 hours [for homework]. More if I decide to go to bed later than 11.” She starts doing homework at around 9 PM nightly, “because that is when I finally decide I can’t wait any more.” And then, she continues to work until midnight at a distressingly consistent basis. “I stop [at that time of night] unless I’m working on a project. I usually just cram information before any kind of quiz/test. It tends to work fairly well. As long as it’s done, I am relatively happy with it, even if it isn’t very good.”
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On every day save Friday, the freshman participates in LASA’s Robotics club. Consequentially, he reaches his home at 7 PM on a regular basis. “It’s exhausting,” he says, unsurprisingly. Every night, he arrives home, eats his dinner, watches Jeopardy, does his homework and studies for the trivia competition known as Quiz Bowl, all before retiring to the comfort of his bed. Arnav admits that he gets distracted on occasion, citing antics on the computer as a major contributor to the time that he spends off-task. “Gaming is part of it, but it’s mostly tinkering with settings, programs, and stuff that gets me,” he says. “I love doing that. I’m really addicted to [the game] Team Fortress 2 as well. On weekends... I’d say about... 8-12 hours a week? I browse a lot too… Say an hour daily?” Despite all of the distractions and obligations, Arnav gets his work done. “I just keep pushing myself I sometimes feel like I’m going to fall apart. But I just tell myself to suck it up and keep on plowing,” says the freshman. “So I keep on plowing. Don’t give up. Don’t forget a homework. No matter how bad it gets, don’t stop. Time management is key, work whenever given the opportunity.”
The Gamer
The Distracted
The detritus of accumulated paperwork. A gargantuan monitor, 19” x 11”, dominating the workplace, casting its pale light upon the entire room. Books in a stack, some pages dog-eared to keep the reader’s place in the book. The gamer’s domain. LASA student Gregory L.’s domain. And what a gamer he is, earning him the rank of Korean Bronze in the popular game Starcraft, an honor that ranks exceedingly high compared to American standards. Of course, mastery requires practice, which kicks time-wasting into hyper-drive.
“I guess I always strive to achieve high quality, which is why I always take so darn long to finish one assignment,” Ji-Woon P. remarks. “Of course, when it’s the day before, I don’t have much choice, but I always try to do the best considering the circumstances. Usually, I’ll always try to get at least the bare minimums for the assignment. And I like As. I usually get A’s, so... I suppose it pays off.”
“Honestly, I can’t remember when my procrastination started,” Gregory says. “Probably since school started, though, since that was when I started having work to do.” Gregory is not tied down by many obligations, as he goes to the infrequent German club whenever there are meetings, though the meetings are infrequent and take place during his lunch period. “I’m morally obligated to going to the Austin Humane Society every weekend or two but that’s it,” he says. And even then, he still has plenty of time for homework, arriving home promptly at 4:45 PM daily. Alas, not all of that time is spent productively, as Gregory can find himself playing video games, pampering his three dogs, and reading. Sometimes all three at once. Gregory usually arrives home with his sights set on doing all of his homework cataloguing all of the work that he is to do afterschool in a mental agenda. “The note is usually gone by the time I get home,” he says. “When I get home from school, the last thing I really want to do is jump right back into working. I want to kick back, relax, and melt some faces in some video game or read about melting faces in some sci-fi book. I log on Gmail whenever I work on the computer for reasons I’m not entirely sure of. Certain people yelling at me distracts me.” Surprisingly, he is “actually making pretty good grades considering how bad of grades people think that procrastinators have.” It seems that Gregory will continue to procrastinate. “I suppose one day procrastination is going to bite me in the butt,” he observes, “but it hasn’t yet, though some teachers say it will be later on at LASA. My parents don’t seem to mind as long as the grades are good.”
Until her grades fall, she is not wholly concerned about trying to quit the habit. “I think if I started seeing my grades suffer a lot, I think I’d try a lot harder to improve,” she says “But since I’m still doing pretty well regardless of procrastination, I figure I must be doing something right, even if it may not necessarily be true.” Her parents are understandably cross with her about going to bed at considerably late times, though on the day after, “there’s no bombed test or F on an assignment to show for the procrastinating, so... it’s generally forgotten. Not forgotten, exactly, but it’s not that big a deal.” Ji-Woon recalls that she was not always a procrastinator. “I think once upon a time I actually did my work and went to bed at reasonable hours,” she reminisces. “In second grade, I went to bed at nine on the dot every night. I think the procrastination started sometime in fourth or fifth grade, when I started getting more work and less... enthusiasm for it. Because, as it were, I was really enthusiastic to get homework around first grade, because it was still a foreign concept. But it has to wear off sometime.” And four years later, her train of thought has shifted to a completely seperate track. “My mindset when an assignment’s assigned is that it’s not due until the day after, so I don’t have to start now,” she explains, “and then, when I get home, ‘I still have a couple hours, I’ll be able to finish by then’ It doesn’t always turn out that way.” Her life outside of school and anything that catches her eye take priority to her, however. “It isn’t always the best policy,” she observes. “I never fully adopted ‘work before play.’ Wish I could, though. You think I’d learn, but it’s like that mindset is set in my head... every single time.”
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And yet she can scarcely turn away from it. “I find it more interesting than homework,” she shrugs. “And then, there’s the YouTube curse, where you go to search for one thing, and then get drawn into another, and another, and so on until you don’t realize what you were trying to look up in the first place. Same applies for Google searching, I guess.” Which is not to say that Ji-Woon does not have her priorities straight. Projects take precedent for her, and completion is essential to her. “If I’m stuck with a night with finishing a project or a reading, I’ll finish the project” she says. If a project completely dashes all hopes of completing any of her other work, then she will leave stressing over it to the morning after, when she is not half-asleep. “I always try to save homework for home, because, you know, it’s homework and I get too lazy to pull it out on the day it’s assigned and do it at school that day,” she says. All the same, cramming something during the early morning at school in the library or at lunch on its due date is not unheard of for Ji-Woon.
--Ji-Woon P.
“ ‘I’ll only check for a few minutes,’ I tell myself. Yeah. Not really a few minutes.” 30 | DECEMBER. 32. 2010
Thus, Ji-Woon finds herself starting her homework on the later half of 7 PM, opening pertinent files. Then documents for research. Then an internet browser. A Wikipedia tab opens up while in another, a cat plays the keyboard on a YouTube video. Clicks beget clicks, and soon enough, the goal is gone.. Ji-Woon has successfully hopped onto an intellectual tangent. “ ‘I’ll only check for a few minutes,’ I tell myself. Yeah. Not really a few minutes. When it’s pencil on paper, there’s usually not as big of a problem.”
She admits to using caffeine to help her late-night work frenzies. “Dr. Pepper is a favorite, because I generally don’t want to bother my parents for coffee. Because I can’t make coffee,” she laments. “I never bothered learning. Maybe I should look into that, now that I think about it... Caffeine is a big part of life for me. Not exactly a healthy choice, but.. What can I do?” Although, completion of assignments is not enough to justify self-destruction via overextending herself. “Once it gets really, really late, I kind of say ‘screw it’ to quality or leave it unfinished for the next day.” Certainly, there are quite a few moulds of students, but even then, they are not static. Change is ingrained in human nature, making an individual exceptionally malleable. Someone falling into a specific class of student, with proper tweaking, make their way to another desirable category. Preferably a better one.
WHICH C MMUNIST ARE YOU? Determine your future in leading your people towards social equality, or corruption- -BY MONK CONTI START
Do you fell like your current government is opressing you and your people through their corrupt capitalist society?
do you come from low to middle class family?
YES
YES
NO
Run, capitalist! The Bolshevicks are comming!
Do you beleive in the industrialization of the world at any cost? NO
NO
Would you consider yourself a schalor?
YES NO
YES
would you use your friends to get ahead, even at there expense?
Are you skillful enough at the arts of deception to trick them into thinking that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s for ther own good? YES
MAO ZEDONG Chinese leader still liked due to propaganda
NO
NO
LEON TROTSKY RUSSIAN LEADER WHO OPPOSED STALIN
JOSEPH STALIN Where to start...
NO
YES
Are you as famous for your large beard as you are for your contributions to philosiphy?
YES
CHE GEUVARA cuban marxist revolutionary
KARL MARX known as the father of communism
Photos courtesy of wikimedia commons
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