Technicolor by LASA Ezine

spring issue

technicolor

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s inside: -Interview with Leslie -Is Forum Needed? -The Unique Collections of LASA -The New Adventures of LASA LAD!!!

Who we are... Welcome to the first issue of Technicolor magazine. We are pleased to bring you the wonderful magazine that we have been working so hard on all year. It was not easy. While there were many strong personalities on our team, we found a way to work together.One of the editors stopped going to LASA (we miss you, Tralon!), so it was even harder to finish everything on time. Yet, we believe that we did an amazing job and are pleased to bring you informative articles about forum, the ongoing battle between Jacob and Edward, why you need to go to school and much, much, more. We were brought together because we are very different, so our magazine has many different takes on things. Enjoy!

Thanks for reading, Yasmine F. Maggie K. Alec B.

ALEC B. Alec is my name. Alec refers to himself in the third person. Alec was born in a test tube. Alec is a compulsive liar. Alec was lying to keep his identity safe. Alec is really Super-de-duper man. Alec is Alec. Alec is part of the Technicolor Magazine staff and plays the role of those stress balls since everyone likes to take stress out on him. Alec is writing this bio. Alec says goodbye. Alec says goodbye for good. Alec doesn’t want to see your face. Alec wants you to turn the page of this magazine because there is a clue to a secret Russian organization in the text. Alec says farewell.

MAGGIE K. A fourteen-year-old freshman at LASA, enjoys poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead stuff with a stick. Well, she actually hates poetry and she’d rather be swimming in the shark-infested waters than walking on the shore. She plays volleyball, swims, and plays softball. She’s the peacemaker between Alec and Yasmine—the constantly arguing fremenies. And no, just ‘cause Alec is at the top of this page DOESN’T mean he’s the main editor of the magazine.

YASMINE F. Yasmine F. is 14 years old, but by the time this magazine is published she will be 15. Happy birthday, Yasmine. Her courses currently include chemistry, magnet English, world geo, French, math, art and EZINE. She LUVs horses. She rides once a week. Another fave hobby is playing tennis with the junior state champ and PWNING him. She likes reading and swimming in the ocean. Every so often she goes backpacking with her friends. She stopped after some annoying middle schoolers started coming. One of her biggest responsibilities is making sure a certain editor doesn’t mess the magazine up beyond repair. Her fave restaurant IN DA WORLD is Chuy’s.

...the editors --the prodigious minds behind this magazine

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Faster than a teacher grading tests, more powerful than the feeling of relief when the due date of an assignment is postponed, able to finish homework before class in a single passing period! Look, in the library! It’s a teacher! It’s a computer! No, it’s-

LASA LAD!

on my honor I have neither given nor received any unauthorized aid on my work, nor do i tolaerate academic dishonesty in others.

Alec B.

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An example of a model student

Opinions

ife was good back in the 60s, when the students treated their teachers with respect, got in their seats when she arrived, and took notes like good little children, or maybe in a cheesy ABC family sitcom. Let’s get back into the modern world now. Now kids don’t care what the teachers have to say. They spend their time laughing at farts, using foul language, and talking about Twilight and Glee when they should be taking notes. Many of us don’t study for the tests, don’t do out homework, but completely disregard any of the important facts we need to get an A, let alone pass, the test. And then when we see our “below 75%” grades, what do we do? Do we admit that we are the ones at fault and that we will study better? No. We call the teacher “strict” and “mean” because we just don’t want to admit that it’s really our faults. And how do we justify this? We do it by asking the dreaded question: “Why do we have to learn this?” Why do I call it the dreaded question? It’s very simple really. It’s only because whenever you ask the question, the teachers hate it. If you ask the question, what is the teacher’s reaction? Do they just ignore it? Do they tell you to get back to work and that there’s no talking? Or do they just say “So, I don’t lose my job’? Here’s the truth: They probably don’t know! Nobody knows! What everyone thinks is the answer is so that everyone can have enough information to go into their desired profession. Sure, that may be true, but when was the last time you met someone who wanted to grow up to be a financial analyst? Asking the teachers usually just makes them confused or angry. We never want to see a teacher angry. Imagine them chaining you up on a morgue table while they take off their masks, showing you their five eyes and green skin because they are really aliens. Then they cut you open and use your intestines as a straw to suck out your other internal organs. And finally, they suck the soul right out of you before you die, making it easier for them to breathe the earth’s atmosphere somehow (they’re used to the regular ammonia atmosphere.). But for everyone’s sake, you probably shouldn’t take my word for it because everyone knows that’s not true, heh heh... However, even though we all hate studying for things we know we will probably never use, we do still need to learn different subjects. Complain all you want, cry to your mommies, or just sulk in the corner, but it still won’t make the truth go away. We all need different subjects if we want to get good jobs. Employers don’t want dumb

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people running the machines at a factory or selling a flat screen for two dollars at Best Buy. If you want your favorite job, you have to study for it. I KNOW some of you reading this are saying to yourself “Why do I need to learn math or science? I’m going to be a basketball player!”or something like that. But let’s get our heads out of La La Land, stop playing with our little Elmo dolls, and start living in the real world. It’s not like we can just put a piece of paper saying what we want to be when we grow up under our pillow and the job fairy comes and replaces it with a certificate giving us our dream jobs. Life isn’t that good. Reality is demanding. Employers are looking for people with well-rounded knowledge. It’s the sad, awful truth. Remember that old saying: “It’s better to learn something and not need it, than need it and not have learned it”? Yeah, go ahead and moan, but it’s true. Think about it. Wouldn’t you rather learn to swim even though you know you will never swim in your life than not have learned and drown for whatever reason? It’s the same with academics. One should really learn a subject, even though it won’t be used, than not have learned a subject and it having come up later in life. I know it sounds as unreal as the cheese powder in a bag of Cheetos, but this is one piece of wisdom that should be regarded. If we only learned one subject, it would be nothing but that day after day after day. It would get pretty boring, but that

An example of a slacker student

favorite, “We had homework?” (people are left anonymous due to guilt) Okay, this may sound a little far-fetched, but every time I hear something like this, I can always detect a little hint of cluelessness in their voices. Why am I preaching this to you? I am spreading the good word of keeping organized! Praise it! If you let the good word into your soul, you will get good grades! Can I get an amen?! *Cricket, cricket* Fine then, don’t amen. But you’ll be sorry. So wake up and smell the dry-erase markers. All people need to do this are to follow these simple, easy-to-do instructions. Step 1: Organize yourself. Organize your locker so you can find things more easily. Get rid of all those loose papers cluttering up your space. And, now I know this may come as a shock and you might need therapy after hearing this, but your agenda actually has a purpose! You can use your agenda to write down homework assignments and important dates. Step 2: Use your time wisely. I don’t mean do your homework during class (unless you are allowed to or absolutely have to), but you can use your bus time or lunchtime to finish your homework instead of just doing it all at home. I hear a lot of you readers say that you had to stay up until three in the morning to finish a project, but if you do this, you might actually get a full night’s sleep! Step 3: Study regularly. It may sound big and scary at first, but really, it’s just about thirty minutes everyday spread over the course of one day. And, based on statistics, students do better on tests when studying at least thirty minutes a day instead of fifteen minute cram sessions before the test. Step 4: Check your grades regularly. This will help you get feedback on

goes without saying. Some schools out there are geared towards one or two subjects only, like the High School “Well, if we learn the subjects we’re required to learn in school, then we of Science and Technology. get a well-rounded education.” And one everyone knows is - Marisa Smith, LASA freshman the Liberal Arts and Science Academy, or at least it used “Coming in to high school, some people might have an idea of what they to be about a specific subject. want to do for a career when they grow up, but if you’re one of those That’s right, hence the name. people that don’t know, it can provide a lot of widespread material and So just imagine if you got you might even find something else that you’re interested in.” here a little earlier. If there -Jacob Cantu, LASA freshman is anything I hate that we all experience, it’s two hours in a class that you hate, whether it’s the teacher or the subject. what you need to do better on and what classes you need to do better in. So just imagine what four years in high school in the same Who knows, you might find yourself starting to care about how you do class with the same subject with the same teacher EVERYin school. That’s called progress. DAY would do to you. So just remember that when you ask Look, all I’m saying is you might as well stop crying because not only why you have to learn different subjects. do we need to have a variety of classes, but it’s not going to change. So I can’t tell you how many times I see some student skip enjoy what you can in school, do your best to follow those easy steps, out on their work or not turn in their homework. I hate seedo your best on your work, and for those of you who have really bad ing that because it’s such a sad sight. And their excuses are grades, I suggest you stop reading this and start studying! just stunning. I’ve heard “I completely forgot,” “I think it’s stupid,” “I was busy doing other homework,” and my all-time

opinions:

spring issue p.6

Opinion

Space Heater versus

the [CRAZY] ongoing battle between Team Edward and Team Jacob. Why Edward is a sociopath. Why the Twilight books are sexist. And and why Jacob is better (saner).

wrestled all night, while watching you would pick Bella. But then again, Edward is abusive, and it’s easier sleep, with the chasm between what I knew to control someone inferior to you than someone equal to or superior. was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. People would argue that Edward isn’t abusive at all; he never lays a hand I knew that if I continued to ignore you as on Bella. This is true, but being controlling is also a form of abuse. Also I should, or if I left for a few years, till you may I point out that never in the past hundred years Edward has been were gone, that someday you would say yes alive was breaking and entering acceptable. He first begins coming in to Mike [a human], or someone like him. It Bella’s window at night when she’s asleep in the first book, Twilight. made me angry.” -Edward Cullen, Twilight. Bella doesn’t know about this until later, but she doesn’t get creeped out Sociopaths lie, steal, have a lack of remorse or mad. She welcomes Edward in her bedroom—remember this is only a and are reckless. They struggle to maintain month after they’ve met. relationships, are aggressive, and “Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!” –Bella to Edward, Eclipse. have a hard time keeping a job If I had to choose between the two, I’d definitely choose or staying in school. This is Jacob. Edward has admitted several times that Jacob is the definition of Edward Cullen. much ‘‘healthier’’ and ‘‘safer’’ for Bella. Jacob ages “Edward: Bella’s Creepy, selfish, angry, and a manipulator, all eventually, although at a slower rate than humans. wrapped up in one package. What a keeper. Meanwhile, Edward is a 107-year old geezer. cold. Why don’t you go I have come to a reasonable conclusion that Bella worries endlessly about growing up to Edward Cullen is a sociopath. Some scholar fetch a space heater or some- look like Edward’s grandmother, since Edward experts say sociopaths are damned. Some is eternally ‘glorious and young’. She dreams thing? sociopaths themselves say they’re already about it pretty often. living in Hell. “So eager for eternal damnaI reread the entire Twilight saga, purposeJacob: A space heater?! What tion.” –Edward Cullen, New Moon. Sociopath, fully looking for a moment that Edward actuam I, a Saint Bernard?” anyone? The Twilight saga is mainly about the ally made Bella laugh out loud. The search was love triangle between a vampire (Edward), a fruitless. Edward is depressive, over controlling werewolf (Jacob), and a human girl (Bella). The and it’s not fun at all to be around him. All they -Stephenie Meyer’s vampire & werewolf battle over love of the hutalk about is how they think they love the other man, and the vampire is the ‘good guy’ in this story. more and how much Bella wants to be bitten to Eclipse He comes across as protective, romantic, and beautichange into a vampire. In a real-life relationship, the ful. People don’t realize there is much, much more under couple has to know each other well and be able to make his charisma. On the other hand, Jacob is a sarcastic, arrogant each other laugh every once in a while. These kinds of relationkid who’s sort of immature, but realistic. He’s the under dog in this love ships are more likely to last than those without laughter or getting to story. know each other. There are more female fans for Edward than for Jacob, and I can see Aside from the fact that Cullen is a vampire and is endlessly salivatwhy. He brings the definition of the “perfect gentleman” to today’s ing for Bella’s appetizing blood, he’s cold. His body temperature is ten world. Girls today are settling for what they can get-- arrogant jerks who degrees colder than that of a human, while Jacob Black, a werewolf, don’t treat them right, like Tiger Woods who cheated on his wife with His lines are already incredibly cheesy enough without his brooding twenty-something women. Or Sandra Bullock and her ex-boyfriend Jesse expressions and how he looks up from under his eyelashes. “Look after James, with the same problem: affairs. Edward left Bella not for another my heart—I’ve left it with you.” Nobody says cheap lines like these woman, but because he didn’t want to hurt her with his fetish for her anymore these days except for middle-aged stalkers trying to pick blood. That shows love, doesn’t it? The Twilight books teach girls to exup girls with stupid one-liners. Team preferences also tend to fall pect something more dignified from a guy, to expect the guy to stay with along gender lines. Girls like Edward, boys prefer Jacob because the girl, not cheat on her or take advantage of her. But at the same time, he’s more ‘manly’. the books are totally sexist. Stephenie Meyer, the author makes it look I have come to a conclusion that Edward is a sociopath, and like females simply cannot manage without a manly figure to save them every time they get in trouble (which is pretty much every day for Bella). Jacob is the sanest of the Twilight bunch. I have come to yet another reasonable conclusion that Ron Weasley from Harry Potter This just adds to the theme of knights in shining armor swooping down to save the helpless damsel in distress. Edward worries too much about trumps all. Edward < Jacob < Ron. Ron’s always there for Harry Bella and blames everything that happens to her, to him. or Hermione, and he’s the one with all the funny jokes and oneMany girls are also turned off by Cullen’s over-protectiveness and his liners. He’s neither a vampire nor a werewolf, nor does have any controlling. People that are better than other people don’t fall in love mythical powers. He’s a wizard. with their inferiors. So, following this logic, there is no way Edward

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Air-Conditioner

Opinion

Just think about it

Forty-five minutes of your time; your lunch time, your play time and your work time used to go around in a circle and say what color your day is? -By Yasmine F9:40. Kitty Johnson walks from second period on a C day. She is walking to forum. Kitty is normally a model student that has never skipped a class in her life. A hard working student, she always gets straight As. She has lots of friends and is very social. By senior year, she will have found a way to get out of forum. Forum is at 9:40 every monday morning and lasts 40 minutes. It is where students can get their lthough LASA’s administration believe that forum is a productive activity for all grade levels, the fact is that the majority of the time forum is a waste for freshmen and sophomores. Upperclassmen that want to go to college come to get important info on getting into college and courses, but freshmen and sophomores may not want to go because they have homework to do or need to meet with project partners. Forum should either be optional, made into a study hall or gotten rid of altogether. If forum were to be made into a study hall, they would be able to do these things. It is better to have the choice about where you are going to spend your forty five minutes rather than being cooped up in a stuffy, claustrophobic room. Taylor Trevino, a hardworking freshman, already uses time in forum for a study hall. But even she agrees that it can be a pain if she can’t talk to her project partners or can’t work because students in forum are usually so out of hand. According to the AISD Office of Redesign, forum was “designed to ensure

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report cards, test scores, and important college info. Students are divided into forum according to their last name and will stay in that exact same group all throughout their school career. However, even if forum provides valuable knowledge sometimes, most of the time it involves sitting at desks doing nothing.

that all students had at least one adult in their school life who knew them well, to build community by creating stronger bonds across social groups, to teach important life skills, and to establish a forum for academic advisement and college and career coaching”. The program is only used in underprivileged schools or schools with high stress (like LASA). In most cases students at high schools like Reagan and LBJ have found it really inspiring in their lives. According to the Office of Redesign, “more students reported positive feelings about their experiences in advisory/family advocacy groups than reported neutral or negative feelings [...] teachers began to identify benefits of advisory groups for students. They reported students were learning about practices that would increase their success in school (e.g., attendance, course taking, and monitoring academic outcomes).” But, even though LASA is a very high stress environment, many students feel like a better way of relieving academic stress would be to simply add on those 40 on to lunch or make a study hall. Not all stress can be cured by forum. Forum is also a place where students can get better coping skills. But some students also feel like it would be better for emotional stress if they could go to their counselor in private and talk about their

problems there or get course advice there. Kevin Ku, a freshman, thinks that forum should involve more downtime so that students can socialize and do homework. A good student that cares about school, he also thinks forum should be later in the day so that students can get homework assigned in previous classes to do during forum. Kevin does not think that forum is currently a waste of time unless the advisor is talking about a stupid subject. This happens a lot. One forum advisor, Kendra Young, thinks that forum can certainly be boring for some students and tries to make it more interesting. Young helped create the forum curriculum, and she thinks that it is good that it is oriented towards fun and games, but can certainly understand why some students may not like it. However,

Sample forum questions: 1. What color is your day? 2. What animal do you feel like? 3. What would you do if your best friend stole something from another friend?

she still feels like some of the students in forum are always bored and disconnected from the discussion. Young does think that a study hall could be a better use of some students’ time and also understands why forum advisors may not like forum very much. Advisors mainly regurgitate what is in their forum binder (most advisors don’t write the curriculum) and don’t have much choice in what they can do. This makes the slighted teachers even more frustrated, so they take it out on the students and make the students even more miserable. In my opinion, a good way to fix this dilemma would be to make forum completely optional. According to Lee McClenon, a senior well viewed as smart and diligent, forum does provide students with information about college and paperwork that they need to fill out to apply, but the information is usually things that students already know. While three forum meetings about college took place, there only really needed to be one. The other two meetings simply regurgitated what was discussed earlier, Lee said. Lee said that most of the time her forum just sits around and does nothing. She thinks that students should maybe have a forum meeting a few times during a semester to discuss important things, but it certainly doesn’t need to be every C day. Students might be able to work on other assignments, but usually the classrooms are so loud that it is impossible to work, let alone think straight. C days are very hectic and sitting around in a loud classroom for 40 minutes and doing nothing does not help anyone. Some students don’t like forum either because of their advisor, their classmates or both. While in other classes students behave because they are worried about a grade, students aren’t all that serious about forum because they know that they aren’t getting a grade. A forum class can consist of half the class being rowdy, loud and, and the other half mopey, bored and wondering why they got up this morning. What makes this even worse is that the students know that they will be stuck with these people for the next four years. A forum class that is always loud, rambunctious and never listens can make the experience miserable for those who want to get something done or for those who just want to be left alone. Most of the time, forum activities are a waste of time. A few weeks ago, we were forced to partake in an activity called “circle day”.Some of the questions are listed opposite. Questions like “What color is your day?” or “What animal do you feel like?” are just not worth our time. This activity took all of forum. It is not really necessary to take forty-five minutes to ask questions like this. When our adviser asked question number 4, many students made jokes like “I would blackmail them into Top: Ms Aguayo giving me some of the stuff”, or “ I would steal stuff from them too”. Tabor is surStudents could have been working prised to recieve on other assignments rather than her Milken making stupid jokes about what anAward. Bottom: imal they felt like for half an hour. Students at the If forum is not a waste of time for me, I need to seriously reaward ceremony think my life. Since neither stuthat are enjoydents nor advisors really like it, ing not being it should be completely optional in forum.Phofor both. That way, Kitty Johnson tos taken from may not end up skipping forum.

Milken Foundation website

Spring Issue p.10

Richest Hobo in Austin “YOU HAVENT SEEN AUSTIN TILL YOUVE SEEN LESLIE COCHRAN...” HERE ALL RUMORS ABOUT HIM ARE DISSPELLED! Leslie Cochran crosses 1st Street and walks in Bouldin Creek Coffeehouse with a flourish, donning a suit jacket, a flowered print tube top with his beer belly bulging out, and a neon-colored snakeskin miniskirt. He doesn’t have his high heels on but is wearing

Sperry’s boat shoes. On his head is a greenish-tan worn hat, which looks even older next to the polished Bluetooth resting on his ear. He sits down in one of the plastic chairs outside, and the three purses or fanny packs hanging on either shoulder bounce.

eslie Cochran, the famous Austinite, is a legend. There’s an “iLeslie” iPhone app that voices several of Leslie’s famous sayings, like “You’re losing it,” and “Forget the bulls**t.” At Monkey See, Monkey Do shop on South Congress, there’s a magnetic doll of Leslie complete with various outfits. He gets fifty percent of all proceeds from the iPhone app and the magnet doll. A few years ago, the local saying went, “You haven’t seen Austin till you’ve seen the South Congress Bat Bridge.” Now it’s “To see Austin you got to see Leslie!” He’s an icon of Austin and even ran for mayor three times [2000, 2003, and 2004] and got near to 20 percent of the vote, coming in a close second place to the elected mayor. He chooses a chair in the shade, a green plastic lawn chair outside of Bouldin Creek. “Do me a favor… you don’t have to tip me, I’ll pay for it myself,” he asks. “Umm… I need either a Mexican beer, or a Modello.” The sign language translator, Lee Godbold, laughs and politely says she’s working and isn’t allowed to buy alcohol. “I can’t either! I’m not allowed to! I’ll be right back.” Cochran gets up and walks in the café. A few moments later, he mysteriously manages to return with a lit cigarette and a Modello from unknown origins. Cochran is an urban legend in Austin, and like all other urban legends, tales spew about them, some true, some not. Legend has it that Cochran has a law degree but never used it, and that he lives in a mansion on Lake Travis. “They lie, they lie, they lie,” Cochran said. “You know urban legend. I’m not as good as they say I am. But, thank them [about the mansion]. Yes and no. I house-sat for some people—they didn’t want to pay for security. It’s a lot cheaper to have a homeless guy who will go through all kinds of bulls**t to protect them. It was good. It’s good to do things for other people. Even if they’re using your punk a** (laughs). ‘Scuse my language.” Leslie always has a wad of $20 bills in his fanny pack. Perhaps they’re from his house-sitting job, or his proceeds from the magnetic doll and the App. He knows at least someone everywhere and has connections. Cochran mentioned two “little angels” of his. A little angel, named Christina waitresses at Café Caffeine, where he sometimes spends the night where there is nowhere else to go. He

Feature

says she “showed him love when [he] first walked in for cofbold and says, “You can have ‘em—I don’t need ‘em [gesfee.” The other angel is his assistant, Debbie. When I first tures to everything on the table]. Garbage can. Very good.” contacted Leslie through his face book fan page, “LOVE FOR His Modello is almost empty, and he downs the last few sips LESLIE!” [https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=156 of it. He then collects the various things on the table, absent982916635&ref=search&sid=1670666712.3347200393..1], I mindedly taking the Stayfree pads from Godbold, apparently got an e-mail address that directed me to Leslie’s assistant, forgetting that he offered her some only five minutes ago. Debbie. My first thought was “Why on earth does a Cochran buckles the fanny pack around his belly, homeless guy need an agent?!” Turns out, Debslings the jean and the flowered canvas purses bie is another little angel of Leslie’s. She helped across both shoulders. He gets up, smiles his "If all you want to him get his birth certificate, his identity, and toothy smile, and tells me, “You have beautibe is a.... a ditch digger. ful eyes.” Cochran kisses Godbold’s hand deliother important information back from when he ran away from his home in Florida at six- the better education you’ve cately, then mine. He tips his hat and walks teen. Growing up he had a well-rounded eduinto the sunny afternoon. He doesn’t look got, the better ditch digger off cation, though. He maintained a straight ‘A’ left, right, left before crossing the street, you’ll be." average all through high school and got an acand a car has to brake to avoid hitting him. ademic scholarship to Florida State University. He gets safely onto the opposite side of 1st “Study, study, study,” Cochran says. “ForStreet, then saunters away to do whatever a -Leslie Cochran get the boys… wait ‘til they’re men, behomeless person does-babysit mansions, make cause it’s all bulls**t. Boys don’t have minds. All clothes for magnetic dolls, or simply drink coffee at they’ve got is (motions with his middle finger) wing.” Cafe Caffeine a few streets over with angels. Or maybe he’ll When Cochran ran away, he decided to travel the have another cold, sweaty Modello and a nice new cigarette. U.S. to places like Colorado, Mexico, and Canada. He got places by hitchhiking passing cars. “You can always see trouble coming,” he says about the dangers of hitchhiking. “Never question your instinct. If you see trouble coming, get the f**k out. Never, never, never say, ‘I need to stop here to take a pee’. Stop at a gas station to get a Coke. Bye-bye! If you stop for a Coke, you have to go to a Coke machine with people around. If you want to stop to go to the bathroom, they’ll pull over in the middle of nowhere, and then you pull your panties down.” • “If you can out think ‘em, you don’t There have been some debates over whether Leslie is Cochran’s have to fight ‘em! And do everything real name, or if he changed it to match with his dressing. with a smile. If you get pissed off, the “You know, growing up I hated my name because it sooner you get over it, the better.” sounded so feminine. I went by the name Trapper as a kid (chuckles). You can call me that if you want.” • “Life is short. Forget the bulls**t.” Leslie—or Trapper, has quite the wardrobe. If you see him • “You can be upset as long as you regularly you’ll notice he typically wears leopard-printed want to be upset. But the sooner you high heels, but he didn’t wear them for the interview. He’s not ashamed at all about how he dresses and is very open-minded. get over it, the happier you’ll be. If “[I get my clothes from the] garbage can.” Trapper says. you ignore a problem, it’ll go away. “People move out. Throw everything away. Hey! Uno moIf you pay attention to it, it’ll follow mento!” He starts to pull out various things from the faded leather fanny pack hanging on his beer belly. Then the other you around forever. Forget that s**t!” denim purse that looks like it was made from a jean, and a • “You know, education and laughflowered print canvas bag is emptied too. On the forest-green ter—that’s all you need in life. If you’ve metal table, an array of objects from Dumpsters is arranged. got a problem, walk away from the Stayfree pads, an eyeglasses case but missing the glasses, a Dell pocket computer, binoculars, and a leather bag that d**m problem and it’ll disappear! contains a phone charger. He then hands the pads to God-

A Little Advice

spring issue p. 12

Feature

The Spurgeon Factor

Spurgeon in his natural environment.

~Yasmine F.~ t 7:30 in the morning, Mr. Tom Spurgeon’s room is completely empty. On the left is a wall painted in an interesting purple pattern with a baseball bat hanging from a hanger shaped like a catcher’s mitt. His desk is littered with papers and knick-knacks, including a talking Kung-Fu Panda doll that screams “HIII-YAAAA!” when you press a button. Within minutes people start walking in, asking for help on their math homework. Spurgeon has worked at LASA as a math teacher for about 19 years and has never wanted to quit. He thinks that both students, his love for math, and growing up in a small town are the reason for this. “Students always work hard, always want to learn,” Mr. Spurgeon smiles as he shuffles through yesterday’s quizzes. However, Spurgeon has not always wanted to be a teacher. When he was growing up, he lived in a small town in Indiana where everyone was expected to work on the family farm when they grew up. But Spurgeon felt pulled in a different direction; he just wasn’t sure what. “I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I guess I wasn’t very focused when I was younger,” he reminisces as he pauses for a second from grading papers to get a highlighter. Spurgeon decided to become a teacher in his senior year in high school. The only other jobs available at the time was either working on the family farm or working in a factory. He knew he didn’t want to work in a factory, even though it payed fairly well. Being a teacher’s aide helped him decide to become a teacher. “[Being a teacher’s aide] was probably one of the reasons why I decided to be a teacher. The biggest reason that I think I became a teacher is probably that I like to be around youth. It’s kind of like the fountain of youth; you’re enjoying youth forever as a teacher, as long as you’re a teacher.” Spurgeon first taught at a school in northern Indiana called Rochester High School. He taught geometry and algebra II. One of the things he liked

p. 13- technicolor

about the school was that the community was so supportive of it. “The year I left, a person donated enough money to build a swimming pool so they could have a swimming team. The superintendent had the guy come in who said that he wanted to leave some money when he died and the superintendent said, ‘Why wait ‘til you die? Why don’t you just go ahead and donate it now and the kids can get enjoyment out of it and you can see what the kids are getting from your donation.’ It was a very supportive environment for students at that school.” In 1984, Spurgeon and his first wife moved to Texas. The economy was not very good at the time, so it was difficult for her to get a job in Indiana. She was a heart patient, so they also moved so that she would be in an area where it was warmer. His wife was also married before and had a daughter. “We had to take [my daughter] to Jackson, Mississippi every year and we always made a vacation of it. We went through Austin and we liked what we saw.” Spurgeon lives on 48 acres of land and has a few animals. One of his hobbies is to tinker around with broken things and try to fix them. However, he doesn’t use these hobbies to calm stress. “I don’t have that much stress with students. Our students are very good to work with. Our school doesn’t have the level of stress [for teachers] that other schools have, especially with students. They come here for a purpose and they know the purpose.” One of the odder and funnier traditions in Spurgeon’s classroom is to draw funny pictures of him. Up on the wall, there are several pictures of him, including Spurgeon depicted as a zombie and as the Terminator. “You see the personalities of kids sometimes when they draw pictures. It’s been a tradition here at this school for people to draw pictures of me. I don’t know how it got started, but it has been that way for many years.” Spurgeon has invented several little gadgets that incorporate logs and other concepts that he used for various purposes. One of the more memorable ones was the device that he used for grading. “It was like an adding machine that would average your grades to get an A, B, C, D or F if you had three grades or four grades. [The other teachers] used my gadgets. That was back in they day before calculators

were accessable to everyone.” According to some, Spurgeon is a very good teacher. He does have a few issues that make him hard to learn from, though. “Some of my friends used to complain to me that they couldn’t learn because of his accent. I didn’t think it was that bad, but I guess that shows what kind of a person he is,” laughs LASA senior, Lee Mclenon, one of Spurgeon’s former students. “He is definitely kind of a hillbilly”. Lee’s sister, Marci, has a different outlook on the matter. The way he comes up with those weird examples [to illustrate a math problem] is so funny. He told Sydney to pretend to be a butterfly to illustrate a graphing concept,” Marci says. “I like him anyway, but it was certainly an imaginative way to illustrate the concept.” Matt Goodman, another student in Marci’s class, loves Mr. Spurgeon. “He’s a really good teacher. I not only like the way he teaches, but I also like his tangents” Matt said while he was working on an in-class assignment. Frank Garza likes Spurgeon for an entirely different reason. “Mr. Spurgeon is just cool. When I come in late, all he says is, ‘You need to work out, Frank, so that you can get to class on time.’ He doesn’t even count me late. I like that he is more like a friend than a teacher. He never gets angry, or goes on a power trip. He always has a good sense of humor”. Even though most people like Spurgeon, many find him a bit quirky. Kendra Young, an English and ezine teacher, said that she’s had some odd experiences with him. “He gets me confused with Ms. Richey [the other ezine teacher]. One time when we were at a meeting he addressed me as ‘Ms. Richey’. I said no, that I was actually Ms. Young. When he left, he said, ‘Bye Ms. Richey’. Even when Ms. Richey and me are together, he calls me by her name,” Ms. Kendra Young laughed. By 8:00, Spurgeon’s room is flooded with students ready to start the day. They seem a little nervous, because there is a math test, but the room has a lighthearted air. It is clear that these students truly want to be here, like Spurgeon.

A COLLECTION OF COLLECTIONS By Alec B.

Some of the coolest, biggest, and weirdest collections of the students of LASA!

Features

freshman takes his friend to his room. He goes to his shelf; his back turned, and takes something off. With his back still turned, he says “This is my most prized possession, but you have to swear not to tell anyone else I showed it to you.” The friend agrees, wondering what it is. A big diamond? A gold coin? A human skull? Her questions are answered when her friend empties a bag of marbles onto the floor and says “This is my most prized collection. I’ve been collecting only the best marbles since I was seven.” A collection can do many things. It can entertain someone for hours, it can take someone’s mind off of something, it can make someone uncomfortable (not all of them are good), and it can even rack up a lot bills. But a power that all of them share is the ability to bring out someone’s true personality. Oh sure, the captain of the football team looks big and strong, but it may turn out that he collects Hello Kitty figurines. The Goth kid who sits in the corner who never talks to anyone may have a collection of opera CD’s. What shows on the outside might be nothing but a curtain. LASA freshman Miranda Donnellan has a collection of twenty-one frog figurines. She starting collecting them when she was a girl. “My dad gave me my first one when I was, like, six. It was this really cute, little one-inch glass frog sitting there like

p. 15- technicolor

Miranda Donnellan’s collection of croakers

p. 16 spring issue

Jeanea Davis’ colourful Sharpie collection

that,” Donnellan recalls. For some, it’s just a hobby, but Miranda has a special reason for collecting them. “My dad is in the air force and he’s deployed a lot… It’s kind of a way to feel, like, closer because he gave me my first one so getting more would just… remind me of my dad,” she says. Not only does her collection of croakers make her feel closer to her father, but it brings out a side of Miranda that’s a little “green” as well… “I’ve always kind of liked frogs and I guess they’re kind of nature-esque and I’ve always been kind of save-thetrees,” Donnellan laughs in her bubbly voice. Miranda’s frog collection may have the style, but there’s a collection of Sharpie pens out there that just can’t be beat when it comes to passion and personality. Why? It belongs to LASA freshman Jeanea Davis.

p. 17- technicolor

“Well, I’m a colorful, happy, and kind of acidic person. Sharpies can do that to you. They can make you happy or sad. Whatever you want.” But just how fond is Jeanea of her Sharpies? “I’d say pretty fond. If my sharpie pens came up missing, somebody’s genitals would be too.” And not only is she fond, but also a tad bit protective. “[My collection is] in my room, hidden… They’re just in my room. I can’t tell you [any] information. If I would, I would have to kill you.” And considering she already has a cornucopia of color, she speaks highly of Sharpies being a good starter collection for people looking to start. “Sure, as long as you don’t touch mine.” But she still has her eyes on the prize with a rather unique goal she wants to achieve. “My goal is to one day create the biggest mural ever

made with Sharpie pens.” However, some just rely on others to supply the contents of their collections for them, like Olivia Berkeley. She has a collection of tiny, porcelain boxes that she gets from her grandmother every year. “I think she wanted to have something that she could give me that we kind of, like, had a bond and I could always expect, like, this thing from her. And then she would give it to me. There’s just kind of, like, a tradition.” And as it turns out, it’s a tradition just between Olivia and her grandmother. “I don’t really know if- She definitely didn’t give anything to my mom, so I think it’s just something- She probably liked them herself and thought it should be something really great to give to her granddaughter and it would be something nice instead of like just buying it for [herself].” So far, there have been frogs, Sharpies, and porcelain boxes. However, there are many other different things out there that can fit anyone’s personality. Coins, comic books, flags, postcards, action figures, the list goes on forever. So for the many people out there who want to express themselves (without insinuating anything), start a collection that reflects whatever charms that dwells inside!

A Note From the Author:

I have my share of collections. I collect coins, dice, gigantic flags, but I think the most interesting is my eclectic light collection (lava lamps, neon signs, stoplights). My favorite lamp would have to be my @ neon sign, since my name starts with an A and it’s just cool in itself. The reason I collect these is pretty much because I have always wanted to go to Vegas. I have always wanted to drink some kind of drink and gamble on the roulette table like James Bond (Shaken, not stirred.). But my parents think that I’m too young to gamble and stuff like that. So if I can’t go to Vegas, I guess I’m just going to have to bring it to me. Here’s just some of them:

p. 18 spring issue

Hobbies

A rainbow of horses

Yasmine F 7

Even though most people think that all horses look the same, this is not the case. Horses come in many different colors and this article is to help you distinguish between them.

1. Chestnut. Chestnut horses are usually reddish 8

brown with either a lighter mane and tail or a darker mane and tail. Horses with lighter manes and tails are flaxen.

2. Black. Black horses have no brown fur mixed in. They can have any facial markings but no white above the knee.

3. Brown. Brown horses are a mixture of black and

bay. Their muzzles are usually a lighter shade of brown. 4. Bay. Probably the most common color, bays can range from almost brown to almost buckskin.

5. Buckskin. Buckskin horses are a very light brown

with black points, mane and tail. Not to be confused with dun, which has a dorsal stripe 6. Pinto. Pinto horses are any solid color with white splotches or white with solid color splotches. They are particularly popular among Native Americans.

7. Gray. There are three types of gray: dapple gray,

gray and fleabitten. The horse pictured is dapple gray. Gray is simply white and fleabitten has tiny specks all over its coat

8-9. Appaloosa. Appaloosas come in many patterns,

p. 19- technicolor

but the most common are blanket and leopard. The hosrse on the top is a blanket, the horse below it is a leopard. Palomino. And lastly, the palomino. It is one of the 10. rarest horse colors. To get a palomino, both the sire and dam must have a palomino gene.

“I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right moral, ethical, and what I want d. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike [a human], or someone like him. It made me angry.” -Edward Cullen, Twilight. way Sociopaths lie, steal, have a lack of remorse and are reckless. They struggle to maintain relationships, are aggressive, and have a hard time keeping a job or staying in school. This is the definition of Edward Cullen. Creepy, selfish, angry, and a manipulator, all wrapped up in one package. What a keeper. I have come to a reasonable conclusion that Edward Cullen is a sociopath. Some scholar experts say sociopaths are damned. Some sociopaths themselves say they’re already living in Hell. “So eager for eternal damnation.” –Edward Cullen, New Moon. Sociopath, anyone? The Twilight saga is mainly about the love triangle between a life with ff (Edward), a werewolf (Jacob), and a human girl (Bella). The vampire & werewolf battle over love of the human, and the vampire is the ‘good guy’ watch in this story. He comes across as protective, romantic, and beautiful. People don’t realize there is much, much more under his charisma. On the other hand, Jacob is a sarcastic, arrogant kids who’s sort of watching immature, but realistic. He’s the under dog in this love story. There are more female fans for Edward than for Jacob, and I can see why. He brings the definition of the perfect gentleman to today’s world. Girls today are settling for what they can get-- arrogant jerks who don’t treat them right, like Tiger Woods who cheated on his wife with twenty-something women. Or Sandra Bullock and her ex-boyfriend Jesse James, with the same problem: affairs. Edward left Bella not for another woman, but because he didn’t want to hurt her with his fetish for her blood. That shows love, doesn’t it? The Twilight books teach girls to expect something more dignified from a guy, to expect the guy to stay with the girl, not cheat on her or take advantage of her. But at the same time, the books are totally sexist. Stephenie Meyer, the author makes it look like females simply cannot manage without a manly figure to save them every time they get in trouble (which is pretty much every day for Bella). This just adds to the theme of knights in shining armor swooping down to save the helpless damsel in distress. Edward worries too much about Bella and blames everything that happens to her, to him. Many girls are also turned off by Cullen’s over-protectiveness and his controlling. People that are better than other people don’t eating fall in love with their inferiors. So, following this logic, there is no way Edward would pick Bella. But then again, Edward is abusive, and it’s easier to control someone inferior to you than someone equal to or superior. People would argue that Edward isn’t abusive at all; he never lays a hand on Bella. This is true, but being eating controlling is also a form of abuse. Also may I point out visiting that never in the past hundred years Edward has been alive was breaking and entering acceptable. He first begins coming in Bella’s window at night when she’s asleep in the first book, Twilight. Bella doesn’t know about this until later, but she doesn’t get creeped out or mad. She welcomes Edward in her bedroom—remember this is only a month after they’ve met. “Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!” –Bella to Edward, Eclipse. If I had to choose between the two, I’d definitely choose Jacob. your Edward has admitted several times that Jacob is much ‘‘healthier’’ and ‘‘safer’’ for Bella. Jacob ages eventually, although at a slower rate than humans. Meanwhile, Edward is a 107-year old geezer. Vampires are immortal. Bella worries endlessly about growing up to look like Edwa grandmother, since Edward is eternally ‘glorious and young’. She dreams about it pretty often. I reread the entire Twilight saga, purposefully looking for a moment that Edward actually made Bella laugh out loud. The search was fruitless. Edward is depressive, over controlling and it’s not fun at all to be around him. All they talk about is how they think they love the other more and how much Bella wants to be bitten to change into a vampire. In a real-life relationship, the couple has to know each other well and be able to make each other laugh every once in a while. These kinds of relationships are more likely to last than those without laughter or getting to know each other. by:blood, maggie k Aside from the fact that Cullen is a vampire and is endlessly salivating appetizing he’s werewolf,for norBella’s does have any mythical powcold. His body temperature is ten degrees colder than that of a human,ersThis while Jacob werewolf, His&lines is my Black, featureaabout Edward Jacob, are already incredibly losing cheesy enough without his brooding expressions and how he looks up from under blackened out to show something entirely his eyelashes. “Look after my heart—I’ve left it with you[r].” Nobody says cheap Look lines like these these days different. down the anymore green path for “the except for middle-aged stalkers trying to pick up girls with stupid one-liners. Team preferences tend to want.” fall right way”, and the red foralso “what you along gender lines. Girls like Edward, boys prefer Jacob because he’s more ‘manly’. I have come to a conclusion that Edward is a sociopath, and Jacob is the sanity of the Twilight bunch. I have come to yet another reasonable conclusion that Ron Weasley from Harry Potter trumps all. Edward < Jacob < Ron. Ron’s always there for Harry or Hermione, and he’s the one with all the funny jokes. He’s neither a vampire nor a

.moral choices.

ICU

I went around the school, taking pictures. Notice anything in common with all of them? Take a look. The answer is staring you right in the face... literally! So smile, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;cause youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being watched...

p. 21- technicolor

Photos by Alec B.

p. 22 spring issue

Dummy’s

the guide to surviving high school ‘cause you know you need it by alec b. 1. Some of you wake up early to get to the bus. If you want to make sure you get a little more sleep in, get as much done for the next day the night before. 2. If you take your showers in the morning and you do it fast in order to be on time for the bus, ask your parents for a shower clock or radio (they usually have clocks on them). It will tell you how long you’ve been in the shower. Plus, you can listen to some cool tunes while you get ready for the day. 3. We all hate doing our homework, especially at home when we have the most free time. To give yourself more time for yourself, get more of your homework done at school or on the bus. I do this, and I come home with no homework almost everyday, except for projects... 4. Get organized. Don’t have a flimsy, torn-up binder to hold your work. Use one that’s plastic that won’t tear or break easily. Use dividers. Accordion binders work really well and I guarantee that they’ll make you more organized. 5. Do you hate heavy backpacks? I do. What I started doing was after each class with heavy supplies, I quickly go to my locker and drop it off and then go to my next class. You should try it too. Don’t be lazy. 6. This one forms a correlation to the last one. People complain to me as they’re walking home that their backpacks are too heavy as well. Well, all you need to do is take home all you really need. Leave that math textbook in your locker. You can finish it before school or during lunch if you don’t waste your time.

7. If you haven’t finished your assignment on the day it’s due and you know you will fail on it, don’t fret. Just turn it in the next day to get an 80%. It will give you more time and will increase your chances of passing. It does lower the bar , but I wonder who’s at fault here… 8. When you know you will have to do homework at lunch or on the bus, don’t listen to loud songs on your ipod. Just limit yourself to quiet or lyric-less songs. But If you get distracted easily, then just don’t bother bringing it to school. It won’t kill you. 9. If there’s a teacher in the room, tell them to leave for just a minute. Are they gone? Good. Now if you have an assignment you didn’t finish or a quiz that you didn’t study for and it seems like you don’t have any time at all, here’s a trick: get the teacher started on a different subject. Try asking them how their weekend was. They usually tend to go off on tangents and tell the class stories, which will buy you a little extra study or homework time. Okay, the teacher can come back in now. 10. Here’s a highschooler’s best friend: the laptop, or at least a netbook. You’re probably saying that it would be impossible for you to get one because your parents are cheap or don’t think your ready, but here’s how you get one (works on 99.9% of parents guaranteed): make your reason for want practical, like saying it’s for doing homework during lunch or on the bus. And then say you want it for your next birthday (this gives them time to get the money if they decide it’s a good idea). No one like cutting unch short to go to the library...

A student at LASA gives new meaning to the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;overwhelmedâ&#x20AC;?...

Photo by Alec B.

Backpacking for a b

beginner

Details about my first camping trip PLUS Dos and Don’ts for backpacking It took a few weeks for my mom to convince me to even go on the camping trip. It was a 1.6 mile hike into Bastrop State Park with a 20 pound pack on my back; not really all that tall an order, but it seemed like it at the time. Finally, after much whining and moaning, she convinced me. We drove to the rental office and picked up two packs; one a large green external frame pack and the other a small, beat up red pack. The red one was mine. We had to get up at 6:00 in the morning so that we wouldn’t miss our carpool there. It was dark and cold, and I wondered if my small amount of clothes would be enough. We drove to the parking lot where we would be getting together, and only one kid was there. He was about 12 and obsessed with video games. I had some serious doubts about the trip. Within 15 minutes, two sisters showed up. These were the kind of girls that wear short-shorts and have never walked more than a mile in their life, except for shopping trips. Ick. Soon, everyone was there. We carpooled with a family of four; one older sister and one younger brother. The sister was about 13, so she was naturally too mature for me. The younger brother was a different story. His name was Nathan, he was 11, my age, and this was his first trip too. We hit it off. We probably had the most fun out of anyone that trip. We were buddies for the hike in. We hiked far enough ahead of the whiny girls to not be able to hear them. The video game kid stayed by himself. Several times, we got too far behind the leaders and we had to whistle. My mom and me set up our tents kind of far away from the rest of the campers. She said that she didn’t want to be kept up all night by those teenagers. I agreed. A kid that I had known for years showed up on that trip. He had bullied my friend and me constantly, and this was my chance to get him back. We put pine needles on the log where he sat, we jumped out of the bushes at him and we pretty much made him miserable. He responded by either putting me in a headlock or chasing me half a mile. He only stopped when the troop leader yelled at him. That afternoon, we did an orienteering activity. In case you don’t know, orienteering is using a map and compass to find places. One of the markers was on a different place than it was marked on the map, so we had to sweep that section of the woods until we found it. We were the only group that found it. Nathan and I were very pleased with ourselves. One lady brought a light up frisbee, and, after dark, we played with it. We threw it around for hours. When we were done, we explored the woods in the dark. It was amazing. If I shined my flashlight on the ground, it sparkled green. When we looked closer, we saw that it was the spiders that were sparkling. The trees were covered with huge millipedes like the ones that you see in the insect house at the zoo. It was truly amazing.

“When we looked closer, we saw that it was the spiders that were sparkling.” It rained overnight. I woke up at about 3:00 in the morning to the patter of raindrops on our tent. I then realized that my backpack was still outside. I was scared that my stuff would be wet, but I decided that it would be better to wait until morning than get myself and the inside of the tent wet. It was very hard to sleep in the rain, especially when the roof started dripping. The next morning, I was surprised to find that my backpack wasn’t wet at all. I guess it was a better pack than I thought. I got out of my sleeping bag to get showered by excess water from the pine needles. People were already cooking breakfast. My mom made oatmeal and hot chocolate. Yummy. Nathan and I wandered around while we drank our hot chocolate. We found a turtle shell that looked like it was crushed. We brought it to camp and asked the trip leader what happened. She said that it was a box turtle and it closed its shell on purpose. In a few minutes, it opened its shell and peered out. It saw us, and went back in. We put it back and left it. We went to play frisbee again. One of the other kids threw a wild frisbee, so I went to get it. Right by the frisbee was a spider with her offspring on her back. I called the other kids over. Nathan thought it was amazing, but the short-shorts girls wanted to squish it. We told them to go away. I went on many camping trips after that. The groups changed; Nathan and the short-shorts girls left to be replaced by Jack, who was 10 when he started and his friends. I spent a lot of my time chasing after them and trying to keep them from getting themselves killed. But it was worth it; backpacking brings around a kind of bonding that can’t be found anywhere else.

p. 21- technicolor

Previous page: A box turtle that we found during the trip. Right: A giant centipede. They are harmless

special health section

The case for V E G E TA R I A N S Vegetarianism is a movement found all over the world and has been around for centuries. Hinduism is one of the best known vegetarian religions and is also one of the oldest religions in the world. Yet some people believe that it is a new movement and very unhealthy. This article will explain why it is exactly the opposite.

special health section

The case for vegetarians No meat. That’s all it is. And yet some people say that it is unhealthy or gross to be a vegetarian. But they aren’t all that different. The only difference is that they don’t eat meat.

Vegetarians. The tree-hugging, veggie-loving hippies of the world. They can come from all over; America, India, Africa and Europe. The one thing they all have in common is this; they absolutely refuse to eat meat. People can become vegetarians for any number of reasons; they may not like meat, they may think it is dirty or they may not like the way the animals are treated. Being a vegetarian is a good way to get healthy in a way that also helps other living beings. Some people argue that being a vegetarian means that you have to eat tofu, which tastes like paper, rubber and gelatin mixed together when eaten alone. Other people say that if there are no meat processing plants, jobs will be lost. It is said that vegetarians and vegans are anorexic. Some people even say that meat helps them stay healthy or that they simply like the

taste. But the fact of the matter is that you don’t have to eat tofu to be a vegetarian. If there are no meat processing plants, that doesn’t mean jobs will be lost. Those jobs can go to agriculture or some other field. Just because one is a vegetarian DOES NOT mean that they are anorexic. A vegetarian just replaces the meat in their diet with fruits and vegetables. A meat-eater can also get protein from other foods like nuts or textured vegetable protein (which tastes like meat, only better). There are hundreds of products out there that taste a lot like meat but are made from vegetables and spices. I am not a vegetarian myself but I have become a lot more healthy since I cut down on meat and made room for vegetables. Since I eat a lot of nuts, I already have most of my needed protein in my diet. Since I cut down on meat, I have had more energy and have gotten migraines less. For breakfast, I eat mainly what everyone else eats; cereal. I don’t eat lunchmeat as it it packed with preservatives to keep it from rotting during the hours before lunch. I will occasionally eat chicken for dinner, but not that much and only organic chicken. Vegetarians tend to eat a lot more than meat-eaters (affectionately known to us as “carnivores”). Many carnivores think that this will make them fat, but it is actually the opposite. Vegetarians eat a lot of fiber, which helps to absorb fat. There is not a whole lot of fat in vegetables, so vegetarians are usually quite thin. Meat nowadays is packed with artificial growth hormones and antibiotics. Farmers who own the animals are trying to make a big profit. Therefore, they put the animals in tiny, cramped factories and give them antibiotics to keep them from getting sick. Remember Mad Cow Disease? That disease was caused by crowding in factories where cattle were raised. The bacteria that causes it grew to be resistant to antibiotics, which also explains why the disease is so hard to combat. Eew. To get more cow for the money, they give them growth hormones. Called Bovine Growth Hormone (or BGH), it has sparked a nationwide contraversy about whether it is harmful in humans

or not. Since Monsanto invented the hormone and sold it to dairy and meat companies, girls have been going through puberty earlier. This may not seem like a bad thing, but the fact that girls go through puberty before they are mentally mature enough is really bad news. Also, BGH can cause an imbalance in the hormones estrogen and progesterone, which can lead to serious health problems later in life. The solution to these problems? Either eat organic meat or be a vegetarian. Organic meat is extremely expensive, so being a vegetarian is the best option. Meat is extremely hard to digest because it contains a lot of protein and lipids. Lipids are basically fatty acids, which go straight to your butt and your belly. So if you’re trying to lose weight (like many Americans today) you might consider going vegetarian. Going vegetarian will not mean that one will be malnourished. Native Americans didn’t eat that much meat because it is hard to catch. Instead, they ate mainly vegetables and roots. The result? Native Americans were much healthier than white settlers when they arrived. Meat has a lot of cholesterol, which can cause heart problems. Heart attack is one of the biggest causes of death in the United States. It can kill a person that is in their 50s; not a good age to die. If the people that died from heart problems simply cut down the beef, they may not have died. Some argue that getting rid of meat companies and meat packing plants will ruin the economy. The fact is that the average meat eater only gets about 0.3% of the energy put into raising the meat. That’s right, 99.7% of that energy goes into taking care of the cow before birth, feeding the cow, housing the cow, giving the cow antibiotics and hormones, killing the cow and packing the meat. On the other hand, if everyone ate only vegetables, we would not lose all that energy. 70% of the United States’ grain production goes into feeding cows, a food that is not all that nutritious. If some of that grain went directly to consumers, that would drive grain prices down and HELP the economy. Raising cattle causes global warming. For all you “environmentalists”, you can blame the killing of polar bears on the average American’s insatiable hunger for beef. Why am I saying this? There are over 105 million head of cattle in the United States alone. Think about all that poop. Cattle caca contains methane, a greenhouse gas hundreds of times worse than carbon dioxide. It’s not just the cars, folks. There are hundreds of brands out there that devote themselves entirely to making fake meat products. Boca is one of the more famous ones. They sell everything from fake hamburger patties to fake breakfast sausage. Their blend of spices makes their food even more delicious than real meat. They are not alone; Morning Sun makes an amazing corndog. Between the health problems, the economic problems and the energy problems, being vegetarian is the way to go. It can save lives, jobs and the planet. It also just tastes good.

Cover page: Avocados are choc-full of healthy fatty acids and omega-3s. Opposite left: fruits and vegetables are essential to getting enough vitamins and carbohydrates for a vegetarian. Opposite right: even though it looks nasty in this picture, when cooked properly, tofu is delicious. Above: Food, Inc was a revolutionary film that did an expose of the food industry.

get in the zone-

BY ALEC B.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE You know, I HATE it when I ask someone if they have ever seen a show called “The Twilight Zone,” and they reply “You watch Twilight?” NOOOOO! “The Twilight Zone” is so much better than “Twilight!” Better acting, better twists, and better plots. Good lord, this show is no where near that cheesefest! “The Twilight Zone” is an anthology series created and narrated by Rod Serling, airing from 1959 to 1964. There have also been two reincarnations of the show, one airing from 1985 from 1989 (which is just as good), and the other airing from 2002 to 2003 and hosted by Forest Whitaker. Each episode was a different story containing the supernatural, or at least things that don’t occur in this life or timeline, some containing mind-blowing twists or ironic endings. There have been guest stars in each series, such as William Shatner, Burt Reynolds, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, Bruce Willis, Jessica Simpson, Usher, Kathryn Heigl, Amber Tamblyn, Jason Bateman, and more. Yet, even though the last two reincarnations were great, nothing can beat the first one, narrated by Mr. Serling. Here are some memorable episodes that will hopefully make you a Zone-ophile. So, what are you waiting for?! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE ZONE!!!

4 3

2 1. Funniest Episode“Once Upon A Time”

Woodrow Mulligan lives in the 1890’s as a janitor for a scientist. He sneaks into his lab and tries on one of his inventions: a time traveling helmet. Woodrow then accidentally gets transported to the 1960’s. He has thirty minutes to spend in that time period, only problem- he lost the helmet!

1 1

Scariest Episode“The Jungle”

Alan Richards returns home to the Big Apple from a dam project in Africa, but the project angered some of the natives. So they put a curse on him- that he would get eaten by a lion when he gets home! But that’s impossible, there can’t

3. Weirdest Episode“Five Characters In Search of an Exit”

An army major, a clown, a dancer, a hobo, and a bagpipe player find themselves trapped in a tall cylinder with no memory of who they are, how they got there, or where the exit is, but the mind-blowing ending reveals all of the answers.

4. Most Disturbing Episode- “It’s a Good Life”

Everyone in the town of Peakesville, Ohio live in fear of a demonic monster with every power in the book that sends them to “the cornfield” for eternity if they don’t think good thoughts about him. The monster? Little six-year-old Anthony Fremont.

5. Most Heartwarming Episode- “Night of the Meek”

Henry Corwin, a down-on-his-luck, alcoholic department store Santa wants nothing but to give everyone what they want for Christmas. He gets his wish when he finds an endless bag of presents that gives new meaning to the phrase “Christmas miracle.”

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.” -Rod Serling

8 6 9 7 6. Most Poetic Episode- “The Hitchiker”

Nan Adams is on a roadtrip to California when she accidentally gets in a wreck. Soon after getting her car fixed, she sees a strange, mysterious hitchhiker appearing everywhere she goes that’s starting to make those she meets fear for her sanity!

7. Most Ironic Episode- “Time Enough At Last”

Henry Bemis, a bookish bank clerk, just wants to read. His wife and his boss won’t let him, so he locks himslef in the bank vault with a couple of books. But he comes out after the ground shakes to find that a nuclear war has happened, and he’s the last man on earth!

8. Episode with Biggest Twist“To Serve Man”

The people of the earth are cautious when ships full of intelligent aliens called “kanamits” arrive. When asked why they came, they reveal their only goal is simply “to serve man.” But things that seem too good to be true probably are...

9. Worst Episode“Cavender is Coming” Clumsy Agnes Grep is a klutz at life. Clumsy Cavender is a klutz at being an angel. In order to earn his wings, he takes on the assignment of helping Miss Grep turn her life into something important, but sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

10. Best Episode- “Eye of the Beholder

Janet Tyler waits miserably in her hospital bed for the doctors to unwrap the bandages on her face from the surgery to make her less ugly. Since that was her last approved surgery, if she is still horribly ugly, she will be shipped to a colony of her own kind. You won’t see the shocking ending coming!

[insert an amazing quote that makes me by: maggie k. seem very intelligent here] In a world like this one, only the random make sense.

-Going Bovine by Libba Bray

Growing up I was sick of how old relatives would come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks, saying “You’re next!” They stopped doing that when I started to do it to them at funerals.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. -Matt Groening

I’m tough, ambitous, and I know exactly what I want. And if that makes me a bitch, okay. -Madonna

People who eat jelly beans fart in techincolor.

Make friends before you need them. There are no happy endings because -The Last Unicorn

melons

I’m going to live forever,

Said It?

or die trying.

fun

gu Absence makes the heart grow fonder s

Those who live by the sword will get shot by those who don’t.

When WOMEN

No cat

are depressed they eat or go shopping.

ever gave

MEN

anywhere anyone

a straight answer.

Who

, you’re dyslexic.

invade other countries.

“

The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I’ve always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada or something.”

A. Madonna B. Britney Spears C. Paris Hilton D. Miley Cyrus Answer: B. Britney Spears.

When life gives you

nothing ends.

Tips

By Maggie K

LUNCHBOX DOS AND DONTS

DOs

Kool-Aid Bursts.

Bonus: Caps are a fun chewing activity during the class after lunch.

You know how growing up there was that snack everybody wanted in their lunchboxes, and how you were praticially a celebrity if your mom packed you a delicious lunch? Here I list the major lunchbox dos and don’ts, so you know what to pack for your lunch!

s T N O D

Lunchables. .

The sign of a lazy parent. Do not want Plus, insufficent supply of food.

PB & J.

Too standard. You want your lunch to stand out.

Frosted Animal Crackers.

These are all-around delicious, but don’t buy the generic kind- not as good

Applesauce.

Cheese Heads.

It’s more fun to eat than plain old cheese slices. Yum!

It just plain looks disgusting. Untradeable, because nobody wants it. Flavored applesauce is OK though

Soup-in-a-Thermos

Messy and gross. And its hard to reheat- always gets lukewarm, never hot.

Nil a Wafers.

Dip in milk- just as good, if not better, than Oreos. And healthier.

Tuna Salad.

Ham.

Everybody loves them. Cut in triangular pieces: it’s cooler. Turkey is good, too.

Pr e t zels.

H e a l t hy a n d clean. A nice munchie

It might taste good but it really stinks.

PB & Celery.

Healthy but doesn’t taste healthy. Try it with crunchy PB!

Easy Mac

It doesn’t even taste like real mac & cheese. And the cheese tastes almost worse than carnival nacho sauce.

special thanks to... The New Adventures of LASA LadBlair C.-R. -The Dreaded QuestionRachel B. John G. Marissa S. Jacob C. -Just Think About ItTaylor T. Kevin K. Ms. Kendra Y. Lee M. -Richest Hobo In AustinMr. Leslie C.

-The Spugeon FactorMr. Tom S. Lee M. Marci M. Matt G. Frank G. Ms. Kendra Y. -A Collection Of CollectionsMiranda D. Jeanea D. Olivia B. -The Dummyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Guide to Surviving High SchoolElliot G.

Test patterns then and now