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SURVIVAL, BALANCE, GROWTH

Laura Larrabee Masters of Science in English Book Publishing March 2013

Thank you for giving me everything I needed and more, I could not have done it without you My Parents Who believe in me always, support me in every way, and give me the drive and determination to keep going. A child could not ask for better.

Kevin Who kept me in food and wine, told me it was OK when the sky was falling and loved me through it all

TABLE OF CONTENTS The Journey

1

My Philosophy

2

Resume

3

Academic Work

4

Children’s Publishing

5

Design Comparison Middle Grade Analysis

6 8

Developmental Edits Fiction

10

Developmental Edit Children Developmental Edit Children Developmental Edit Adult

Intellectual Copyright

Susap Kirtsaeng v. John Wiley and Sons, Inc.

Design Work

Ooligan Classics The Church Cover The Broken Bride Cover The Soft Cover The Rectory Cover Interior John Ward, Preacher Middle Grade Cover Speaking Out Textbook Cover Interior Speaking Out

Ooligan Press

Acquisition Manager Red Guide Letter Lighting Source Profit and Loss

Project Management

The William Stafford Project Teacher Packet

The End The Beginning

11 16 22

33 34

41 42 42 43 44 45 46 48 49 50

53 53 55 56

58 59 62

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THE JOURNEY When I started the program I was asked to write a paper, “Why Publishing, Why Now?” The paper was an explanation summarizing my decision to enter the program. This is the original paper I wrote.

Why Publishing? Why Now? Why publishing? Why now? The quantification of a gut instinct. I graduated with a BA in Business Administration, which was supposed to be a BS in Economics. Economics was my passion, the hardest classes with the most prestige, and the best teachers. I moved to Vancouver, WA in my junior year and had to change majors. If I had completed that degree perhaps I would have a career in economics and I would not have discovered the publishing program.

I literally grew up at Portland State. My parents would take me to class with them and I would sit in the back and draw. My mother was getting her degree in childhood education and read to me every night. My father was a teacher and read all his favorite childhood books to me, the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Good Earth and many many more. I have always read, it is simply a part of me and perhaps because of that it never occurred to me as a career option.

Six years after I graduated and I hadn’t found a career and was feeling pretty lost. In the struggle to figure it out, I wondered to myself, what do I actually love doing? Reading, shoe shopping, and going on vacation came to mind. Winning the lottery didn’t seem like a viable option though, so I goggled “careers for people who love to read.” Book publishing came up immediately, but I don’t really like writing, so I wasn’t sure if I could do it. However, I discovered that there is a lot more to the industry than writing, things that I knew I could be good at. Now I knew I wanted to get into the publishing industry, but had no idea how. In what felt very serendipitous, I found the program at Portland State.

I think my background in economics and business will be helpful considering the massive changes happening in the publishing industry. I love the idea of discovering new ways to reach the market, reading new books before they are published, and the exposure to all types of printing and publishing. If I want to learn more about economics perhaps I could work with educational manuscripts, if I want to travel maybe I can work at a travel magazine, if I want to look at shoes all day maybe at a fashion catalog.

Why now? Because I believe things happen for a reason and I believe I have finally found “what I want to do when I grow up.” I like the idea of going into an industry undergoing such change; I believe change lends itself to innovation.

I am excited to be in the program and I am excited to finish the program and see what the world has to offer.

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MY PHILOSOPHY Keep on Keeping on

When the going gets tough the tough get going

Necessity is the mother of innovation

The original letter I wrote is still true. My passion for publishing, learning, and reading has only grown. I love the idea that the industry is in flux. Change is a part of life and the desire to grab that change and run with it, is the only way to live. My specific area of interest is acquisitions, for just that reason; acquisitions is on the front line of change. Acquisitions tries to find the new trends and the new authors. A good acquisitions department understands the evolving market and works with marketing and sales to innovate new ways to reach that market. Acquisitions is about understanding history in order to prepare for the future. This is not a calm time in the publishing industry and it is during these times that a person can choose to push forward or step back and wait for the boat to stop rocking. I want to be a person who pushed forward. I believe this industry is invaluable to humankind and it will not be dieing anytime soon.

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Laura Larrabee laura.larrabee@ooliganpress.pdx.edu Larrabeel@yahoo.com 360–921–0711

Summary of Qualifications

Aptitude for examining and editing incoming manuscripts and responding appropriately to authors Experienced in Microsoft Office, Chicago Manual of Style, and InDesign Creative Suite Proven ability to effectively multi task Excellent administrative skills including filing and organizing large amounts of data Skilled in analyzing financial and economic data Experienced in management, team building, and supervision Ability to control, order and track large amounts of inventory

Education

Masters of Science, Book Publishing Portland State University, Portland, OR

March 2013

Bachelor of Arts, Business Administration Washington State University

August 2006

Professional Experience Acquisitions Manager, Ooligan Press, Portland State University

January–June 2012

Designed an Excel spreadsheet in order to track the profit and loss of potential books Acquired and pitched manuscripts for trade publication Pitched promising book projects (or assisted team members to do so) to the executive committee Developed strategies for obtaining high quality manuscripts Solicited authors and editors for in-house projects Facilitated weekly meetings including distributing manuscripts, listening to manuscript reviews, and updating the acquisitions spreadsheet Developed tip sheets and samples of manuscripts to post on server and make available to the executive committee Researched potential funding options and costs, such as printing bids

Administrative Assistant, Old Spaghetti Factory, Clackamas, Or

2008–Present

Provide technical support to management team and staff Generate and submit daily financial reports to international office Communicate effectively with international executives to implement change and provide explanations for daily financial reports Balance daily cash and credit transactions, ensuring smooth operations throughout the day Examine and correct the labor usage report to ensure accuracy Fill in as needed for team members throughout the day as manager, hostess, server, and bartender Maintain database for product invoices and sales receipts

Retail Manager, Aveda Institute Portland, Portland, Or

2007–2008

Hired, trained, managed, and supervised a seven person staff Forecasted, purchased, and cataloged inventory for retail space, administrative office, spa’s daily operations, and Institute’s 120 students Achieved increased profits and revenue goals Wrote, edited and implemented training manuals, marketing plans, and legal documents Facilitated positive outcomes arising from guest, staff and student concerns Communicated regularly with regional and international affiliates about goal development for company and Institute Assisted in coordinating and executing large public relations events Designed and merchandised effective product displays Created and implemented Microsoft Excel program used to track students’ hours and attendance Assisted teaching staff with creation of a Microsoft Excel student ranking program Mediated conflict resolution between staff, teachers and students

ACADEMIC WORK

Children’s Publishing Developmental Edits Intellectual Copyright

CHILDREN’S PUBLISHING

Design Comparison Both books are designed with two audiences in mind, the reader and either the person reading to them or the person helping them read to themselves. Both books follow some design rules and break others. This paper will compare the different design elements in both books and the effect those elements have on the story.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day was written by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz. It is a picture book about a day in the life of a kindergartner, or maybe first grade boy. He awakens to find gum in his hair, he gets downgraded from first to third best friend, his brothers push him, he has to eat lima beans. He has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and would like to move to Australia.

Magic School Bus: Inside the Earth was written by Joanna Cole and illustrated by Bruce Degen. It is an early reader and follows a group of students (third grade maybe) and their zany teacher Ms. Frizzle on a field trip into and through the Earth’s layers and out through a volcano.

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Does the design of Alexander work? Yes it does. It is an 8x10 horizontal rectangle and the cover is bright blue, yellow and red. The title is readable from across the room (class lecture 5-10-12) and the image of Alexander, grumpy in his bed clearly portrays what the story is about. The illustrations were done in black and white, in what looks to be either pencil or pen. There are one and two full-page spreads and spot illustrations.

The perspective used by the illustrator is similar throughout the book, with a few variations. One variation is a wide shot when Alexander is driving to school (pg 4 and 5), and a few close ups of his face. The perspective is good for a rectangle book, there are no awkward tall pictures, and all of the spreads are facing straight on. Of the six spot illustrations, three are full body shots and three are half body shots, showing consistency and variety (class lecture 5-1012). Alexander is on every page, with his emotional turmoil clearly portrayed throughout.

The text and illustrations match the tone of the story, Alexander is very straightforward about this awful day he is experiencing. The text is laid out traditionally adding to the stoic feeling of the story, and is easy to read against an offwhite background. Because it was published in 1972 there are rules that it doesn’t follow, there are more then three episodes of conflict and as I stated earlier the perspective stays fairly similar. If this book was to be published in the present I can imagine that an art director would want it designed with more color and changes in perspective. I think its pretty perfect the way it is.

Does the design of Magic School Bus work? Yes it does.

boxes, spot illustrations, and what can only be called sidebars. Although it is published by Scholastic it does not have a level on the cover, I would say this book is a level three.

There are a quite a few things about this book that break the rules. However the design of the book is brilliant and it follows the cardinal rule, don’t turn the kids off. The entire book can be read following only the traditional text, so a child cab succeed without reading all of the extra dialogue boxes and sidebars. The scientific concepts are explained with both pictures and words, allowing the reader to see the more difficult words in context.

The design, while very active, is consistent throughout the book; every page has the traditional text and the dialogue boxes. The sidebar element reminds me of the Barbara Kerley book, Mark Twain, with the addition of the journal in the center of the spreads. The sidebars are tiny book reports

“Both books have stood the test of time because of the rules they followed and the ones they didn’t.”

Magic School Bus was way ahead of its time, bringing in elements of graphic novel long before it became popular. Most early readers are 6x9, are between 1,000 and 1,500 words, and anywhere from 8 to 32 pages (You Can Write Children’s Books, chapter two). Early readers should have lots of white space and minimal words on each page; the illustrations should be exactly matching the words on each page (lecture 5-8-12). Early reader covers also tend to tell the audience exactly what age level the book is appropriate for, using a leveling system.

Magic School Bus is 9x7.5, a rectangle shape, and has around 1,100 words if only the actual text is counted. It is 40 pages long with each page filled to the brink with text, dialogue

written by the children about what they are learning during the field trip. This is another example of the context given in this book, everything on the page relates back to the traditional text. The illustrations don’t follow the traditional rule of allowing only direct representation of the text. However as I mentioned earlier the book can be read using only the traditional text. Instead of distracting from the traditional text the action on each page works to clarify. The last page displays a chalkboard with the “new earth science words” and how to say each of them. This may be the only thing I would have changed. I would have added the pronunciations to the text on the pages in addition to the last page.

Like Alexander, the text and illustrations match the tone of the story. The tone of the text and illustrations are both humorous and zany. Unlike Alexander an art director of present might try to tone down the Magic School Bus, believing that there is simply too much on the pages.

However, because of the cohesive design between all of the different elements, the busyness adds to the reading experience instead of taking away from it. I read and loved both of these books as a child and I still do.

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Middle Grade Analysis

The author, Rick Riordan is a father of two boys and was a middle school teacher. Rick has done many things to appeal to his audience. He has first of all written an exciting, fast paced adventure novel about a boy with special issues.

Percy contends with normal issues like a crappy stepparent, ADHD and school troubles and some not so normal issues like finding out he’s the son of the Greek god, Poseidon.

Rick also tours schools, libraries, and bookstores allowing his audience to connect with him personally. He shares his personal life with his audience through his readings and his website. He was originally inspired to write by his own son who suffered from ADHD and was having a difficult time in school. The stories about Gods and Goddesses held his son’s attention. Rick seems to have an innate understanding of the middle schooler’s mind, which is invaluable as a middle grade author.

The size of the book and the design of the cover an illustrated action scene work together to target the middle grade audience. The book is longer then the typical middle grade novel, however that does not seem to have dissuaded readers. The cover is an image of Percy standing in what looks like either water or sand holding a sword and a Minotaur horn. He is facing a cityscape with his back to the reader, creating a feeling for the reader of being Percy. The sky is erupting in lighting and the entire cover is done in dark hues of blue and green.

Although it is a boy on the front cover, girls will probably still pick this book up. Percy is young enough still for his image to be slightly androgynous and the color pallet appeals to both genders. I assume, that Hyperion had in mind a specifically boy audience when this cover was designed, because it tends to be harder to get boys to pick up books. Girls tend to be less judgmental about what they read so do not necessarily need the cover to target them directly.

The Lighting Thief, by Rick Riordan is a middle grade novel about Percy Jackson, a twelve year old demigod, his friends and their adventures. He is unaware of his genetics but is quickly enlightened by the many monsters that are attempting to kill him. The intended audience for this book is 8–12 year old children, particularly boys and reluctant readers. The author, story, marketing, publicity and design work together to reach this audience.

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The middle grade genre is the first where the books are intended specifically for either boys or girls. The Lighting Thief, however, seems to actively targets, both female and male audiences. Percy is a twelve-year-old boy, however there are many strong female characters, Percy’s mother and his good friend, Annabeth, along with many of his strongest adversaries. It does follow many of the middle grade rules, maybe all of them besides the distinction of being a gender targeted book. First and foremost it is respectful of its audience and does not speak down to them.

The characters are genuine, speaking and acting like kids their age. There are adults around, some good, some bad, but it is the kids who solve the problems. The dialogue does double duty, moving the plot forward while also showing the

reader more about the characters. There is plenty of action; I can’t even remember how many times Percy was attacked.

Percy is the protagonist and the reader is privy to his internal thoughts, which are often times very funny. There is also Annabeth and Grover, Percy’s two demigod friends. They play a large role in the book and help to further the themes of friendship, adventure, and fantasy.

The marketing and publicity of The Lighting Thief, targets both adults and children. The audience is reached through websites, book tours, reviews and a movie. There are two main websites, one for Percy Jackson and the Olympians created by Disney and one for Rick Riordan created by Gray Digital Group. Both websites are interactive and fun. There are quizzes and games on both although the Disney website has more. The Disney website has links to audio and visual video of Rick reading from his books.

The Rick Riordan website is user friendly, it even has an option to change the language. Although it is Rick’s website it is a good mix of him and his books. The picture of Rick on the landing page is a close up of him smiling. He also has

personal information including photos of himself and his book tours. He has a blog that is consistently updated, most recently on May 21, 2012. There are educational resources and press kit materials. He also has his calendar public with his upcoming tour dates. There are a number of things on both sites that kids are not interested in, these things are aimed at the adult audience. The series has received acclaim from many sources, The New York Times, School Library Journal and The Horn Book. Children don’t care about reviews, but grown-ups do and although children are picking out their own books at this age, the grown-ups are still doing the purchasing.

This book in particular and the series in general has been an outrageous success; that has not been an accident. All of the elements: the author, story, marketing, publicity, and design work together to reach the audience. The author is hard working and engaging, the story is action packed and funny, and the cover design is quintessential middle grade.

All together those things have created a generation of Percy Jackson fans and reading enthusiasts.

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DEVELOPMENTAL EDITS FICTION

Developmental Edit Children

Dear Ruth, Thank you for the opportunity to read Ninth Day. Blue Thread was the first Ooligan book I read and I was particularly curious to find out what happened next to the family Friis. You have again chosen to write about a tumultuous time in history, which is wonderful. I love the history in your books and the female heroines. Hope is a different type of girl than Miriam was. I imagine it would have been easier to make them more similar and I applaud your skill at creating two very different young women. Both of whom manage to overcome obstacles and achieve success in the past and the present. I also think it is great that Hope is older, because your audience has also aged since Blue Thread. Thank you again for this opportunity. Below you will find my comments and suggestions, I hope they are helpful. As we discussed I am going to leave Rebecca out of the edit.

My main concern for this manuscript is the edginess of it. As a young adult novel it will be competing against some taboo and controversial topics. I believe that the audience for this book will expect and enjoy envelope pushing. Don’t all teenagers and young adults enjoy this? And finally the ending feels quite abrupt and without any real emotional resolution.

In the suggestions section of this edit I have included my ideas in that vein.

Historical: Like I said this is one of my favorite aspects in the manuscript. While looking into the history of Berkeley, LSD, and St. Anthony’s Fire I found myself trying to find more information. I would like more detail and explanation. The amount of research you have done is obvious and I think you should take advantage of your knowledge. The story would benefit from more facts, both about the Free Speech Movement and the plight of the Jewish people. Because the audience for this book is older I don’t think you would turn anyone off by including more history. In fact I think that your audience would be interested to know more about both of these events in history. We are living in such a fast paced time and we tend to forget our own history.

Hope’s Acid Trip: This needs to be a larger part of the story. Bad acid trips can change a person forever and it most definitely would have changed her feelings toward her sister. It would also cause her to struggle greatly with the idea of giving it to Avram. It is such a dramatic event, what with the hospital and the screwdriver. It is perfect for a young adult novel.

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Characters: Hope: I think that the primary issue I had with Hope is that she seems too young for her age, 17. I believe she needs to be aged up. As the relationship stands with Danny, Hope should be struggling with sexual questions. How far should she go with him? Will he still like her afterwards? Can she get some form of birth control? She’s 17 and her body would be doing a lot of the thinking for her. I thought it was odd that Hope’s lusty thoughts where primarily about Avram rather than Danny.

Another issue I had with Hope was her endless patience with Dagmar, particularly after I found out that Dagmar had secretly given Hope acid. I can’t imagine Hope forgiving her so easily, or their parents for that matter. How did Dagmar explain that? I would love to see Hope lose patience sooner in the story, maybe after Dagmar refuses to take her home from the demonstration. Dagmar doesn’t seem to do anything worth Hope’s loyalty. After all of Hope’s struggles I expected her to be stronger, sassier somehow.

Hope clearly affects change in the past but her affects in the present are not as clear. She makes those phone calls with Danny, a huge hurdle for her, but when Danny tells her of their success, she shows little emotion. I know it is right in the middle of her grandfather’s death, but I still want her to have more of a reaction, at least for her to feel proud of herself. I don’t feel her character grows enough from start to finish. She is a well-behaved nice girl in the beginning and still is in the end. She perhaps has more internal strength but even that isn’t very clear.

During the final scene at the funeral she is still a giggling little girl. Its not the nice well-behaved aspect that bothers me, but the lack of toughness and self-confidence. During the duration of this story she time travels, learns about a horrible time in Jewish history, saves a child, and sort of stands up for herself against Dagmar.

I want her to recognize those accomplishments and go through the emotional growth that would accompany that recognition. Last but not least, why does she skip school so much? That behavior didn’t seem consistent. Her behavior needs to change as the story progresses; she needs to sow some oats, so to speak.

Dagmar: Well you have definitely created a character I would like to shake; wow she just doesn’t get it. I love to hate her. While Hope acts quite young for her age Dagmar’s character seems like a typical selfish teenager. While she drove me crazy I thought she was well fleshed out and genuine. The only concern I had with her is that she may be too good at being yucky.

She was so callous about her Grandfather’s death. I believe her character needs to display some redeeming qualities, else why does Hope still tolerate her.

Danny: I think Danny is the least believable; because he is so perfect it is hard to understand his attraction to Hope. I felt his support of her bordered on paternal rather than a peer/boyfriend relationship. I am leery of him playing such a large role in her support. I felt it was nearing white knight status and I think that your modern audience would balk at that stereotype.

However in contrast to his white knight status, after the Sproul Hall incident when Danny can’t get a hold of Hope for two days he doesn’t seem worried enough. He doesn’t look for her or come over to her house. Because Danny is such a large part of the story his character will need to be more fleshed out. I have some possibilities in the suggestions section.

Grandpa/Miriam: I wanted more from him and her. He holds the key to Hope’s past and could have told us more about Miriam. I was disappointed that Miriam’s story was not told more fully. I felt like he had so much more to tell Hope and he never got a chance to. He holds such a large place in Hope’s heart and I would have liked to know him better.

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Parents: Why is her mother on a shopping spree while they can’t afford to send Hope to a choir conference? Because it is a young adult novel the parents don’t need to play a large role, however even for an absentee father he is too absent. If their mother is going to be gone then the father must play a larger role. The struggle against parents and/or authority figures is a must have for this genre.

Dolcette’s Mother: I wanted more of her too. Because of her connection with Serakh, she could hold the key to so much explanation.

What was her journey with Serakh? Where does she fall in the line of Miriam’s? Could she help Hope believe sooner in the story? Why is she allowed to take the baby on a journey? How does she convince Tante Rose and Celeste to allow Serakh and Hope to stay in the house? What does she tell her daughter? Could she help Hope with Avram?

There are of course many other characters in the story but these were the ones I wanted more from. In the suggestions sections are my ideas for the different possibilities.

Internal Conflict: Teen angst. We have to have it. The largest internal struggle for Hope is her inability to believe in time travel. She should be struggling with so much more. Why doesn’t dad love me? Why is my sister such a jerk and should I take a stand against her? Should I have sex with my boyfriend? Should I be a free speech activist? Should I call Mom about Grandpa?

Should I apply for college in Portland? Have I sought out every possible cure for my stuttering? Will I ever lead a normal life? Do I want to lead a normal life? What are my moral issues with feeding Avram acid?

External Conflict: There are three or four mini climaxes, Avram, the phone calls, Grandpa’s death, and Bella’s letter/appearance. All of these events are important to the story but one should feel like the actual climax. Like I said in Hope’s section, her reaction to the success of the phone calls was anticlimactic.

I think the success with Avram feels less exciting because Hope didn’t go through any other options before she decided on acid. There wasn’t enough build up to her decision, internally or externally. Also if the story included more historical facts and intricacies then Hope’s success with the phone calls would be in perspective and its importance would be clear.

Suggestions and Ideas: Historical: The professor character could be larger; she could provide insight into Jewish history and the Crusades. She could also help Hope figure out other options for Avram. I know that there were some treatments for St. Anthony’s Fire, whether or not any of them worked is another question entirely. Like I said the build up to Hope’s success with Avram feels short. If Hope were doing research and struggling with different options then the reader would get the detail and build necessary.

As for a family historian, her grandfather would be a great option, however if his death is moved forward then another family member would have to impart the oral history to Hope. If grandpa’s funeral is moved forward then Bella could appear sooner. She would have most of the same stories about the escape and early family history. Dolcette’s mother could also communicate her knowledge to Hope. When Serakh, Hope, Dolcette and her mother all come together, that would be a great place for story telling. This would also help Hope believe sooner, spurring her research in the present day.

After Hope sings to Avram and she comes home with Serahk, Hope asks for the story about Miriam. Serahk tells her they don’t have time for that; I was so disappointed, please tell the story somewhere. Also please don’t have Miriam get killed by a trolley car that made me so sad. She was so important; she deserves a better death then that.

In order to really understand the importance of the Free Speech Movement I think it needs to be put into a larger world perspective. Where was Berkeley in the national landscape? They were one of the first cities to participate, right?

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That needs to be made more clear in order to convey the importance of what the students were doing. I was confused about why the faculty was helping the students until I did my own research. Once I started researching though I had a hard time stopping.

I believe that someone in Hopes life needs to be truly involved in the movement. That person could do the showing and telling for the reader. I have suggestions for potential activist characters below. The details of the struggle would add to the external conflict and the build of the story. Your author’s note in the back was great and I think that it could be built upon, perhaps with supplementary material from experts in the fields. It would be good to include the actual letter to the students from the Dean. Besides being interesting it would help with marketing to schools and libraries.

Hope’s Acid Trip: It doesn’t have to be Dagmar who gave Hope the acid. It could have been a not-so-sweet Danny. Perhaps Hope was pregnant and it caused her to miscarry, she would feel relieved and guilty. Maybe she stays with Danny anyway until she gains enough confidence to finally leave him. Perhaps that is why her parents are so distant with her. Maybe her parents believe that she took the acid on purpose. Maybe her parents kick Dagmar out of the house because of it. This is an important part of who Hope is and directly related to her decision-making processes. It also adds to both the internal and external struggle.

Characters: Hope: In order to age her up she needs more internal struggle. I think she needs girlfriends; girls of that age rely heavily on their friends. Especially if the Danny character is changed, which I think needs to be done, Hope will need other people in her life. It is more believable for her to have girlfriends than a boyfriend with her stutter. She could be friends with the choir girls or girls from her synagogue.

As for her skipping school, if the stress in the city were explained more then her staying home would make more sense.

Perhaps her parents tell her she is not allowed to go anywhere near Berkeley. How close is her high school to the Berkeley campus? If she was told she was not allowed to go to school, that would increase both her internal and external struggles.

She would be missing choir, her grades would be slipping and she would be stuck at home unable to research ideas to help Dolcette and Avram.

Maybe grandpa gets sick and Hope leaves the house to find help only to return and find him dead? That would be a great twist and would provide her with the anger she needs to tap into unknown reserves of confidence and power. Maybe she tries to go to school and gets in trouble? If she had girlfriends then they could help her escape home, girls are devious and crafty that way. I believe the best way to increase Hope’s believability is to increase her level of teen angst and emotional struggle. Everything feels like the end of the world at that age and in her case it may actually be true.

Dagmar: She could be an activist instead of a party girl. If Dagmar’s character changes then perhaps Josh could still live at home to provide the antagonist stress. Perhaps Dagmar becomes pregnant and has to use the choir conference money for an abortion. That would provide a parallel between past and present and increase Hope’s internal struggle. Dagmar could have an unplanned pregnancy as a more serious character or as she is now.

She could also accidently give Hope acid as a more serious character; perhaps Hope drinks some of Dagmar’s (or her activist buddy’s) coffee with a “sugar cube” in it. If Dagmar’s character is to stay the same then I would like to know more about her. When did she become this party girl? She couldn’t have always been like that, what happened to cause her to veer so far off the path?

Danny: Oh Danny, what to do with his character? Why is he attracted to Hope? Actually he doesn’t seem like he is. Even as a “nice guy” he would still be more desirous of her. Their relationship is too stereotypical, the boy saving the girl. He needs 14

to be flawed somehow. Perhaps he is only nice to her when no one else is around? If Josh lives at home maybe Danny is a friend of his? Maybe he is just Hope’s friend rather than her boyfriend. Maybe he is the brother of one of Hope’s school friends. He doesn’t need to be either good or bad, he could be a mix of both. Most people are. I tend toward making him more of a bad guy because that would give Hope one more thing to overcome.

Grandpa: Even if his death is moved forward I would like to know more about him and his history. I would also like the relationship between grandpa and Hope to be developed more. It seems to me that he was her father figure. Grandpa could tell more of his own story during periods of lucidity. Perhaps Hope flashes back to important moments in her childhood involving her grandfather. Like I said earlier, young adult novels don’t need a lot of adult characters. However because of the time period and Hope’s love for her grandfather the relationship needs more depth.

Parents: Why are her parents so absent? Is it because of their disappointment in Hope and Dagmar? What is the family’s socioeconomic status? Hope’s mother is on a shopping spree yet they won’t let her go to a choir conference, why is that?

I would say that the parents don’t really need to be around at all. However due to the time period, it is more realistic for them to be around and to be stricter. This is particularly true given the events transpiring in the city. I believe it would add to the struggle if Hope’s parents tried to stifle her more. Are they embarrassed of her stutter? Are they using her primarily to care for her grandfather? What exactly is her relationship with them?

Bella: She could be such an important character. Perhaps she unknowingly has a solution for Hope. Maybe she gives Hope the push she needs to find her internal confidence. If her being a lesbian is important that needs to be explained more.

Maybe she brings her partner with her and blows Hope’s fathers mind. As it is now, Hope finds the letter, briefly meets her and then the story ends. It would add drama and intrigue if Bella’s character were more paramount.

Internal/External Conflict: I think that I have given you enough suggestions for increasing these two types of conflict and there is no need to be repetitive. Most importantly Hope needs to have more internal struggle and there needs to be one main climax. Perhaps there could be two because of the time traveling element but both of them need more build and tension. I imagine the ending will change with your revisions. With more build, a stronger climax and more growth in Hope, the ending will feel complete. With the edition of drama and detail I think this will be a great story. Thank you again for allowing me to see the manuscript in this first draft stage. I hope this edit proves useful to you and I look forward to seeing the revisions in Acquisitions.

Sincerely, Laura Larrabee

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Developmental Edit Children Dear Kelcey, Thank you for letting me read your manuscript, I really enjoyed it. I think you are on the right path to a great book. The main characters are well fleshed out and the adult characters are particularly believable. The bike jousting is great; it adds humor and character development and the magic classes show the reader magic in action. I also really loved the questing beast and the battle scene with Anna-Morg.

I hope you find this letter helpful as you continue revising. The letter is organized into six main sections, there will be some crossover and repetition between them: audience (should the book be middle grade or young adult), point of view, conflict (external and internal), narrative voice and theme, character development, dialogue, and world building.

Audience: I believe that the manuscript would be much more successful if you focused on a middle grade audience. The manuscript has the bones of a great middle grade action adventure story. There is essentially a group of young kids away at school struggling with the world of magic. There are obviously some elements of the story that are meant for an older audience and those would need to be cut, however there are many more elements that lend themselves to a middle grade audience.

If you feel you want to continue with the YA audience in mind, here are a few suggestions: much more sex, violence and internal conflict. The Arthurian Legends are incredibly gruesome and push all kinds of sexual taboos.

Here is a brief example of what a YA version would look like. Arthur has blackouts where he sees the world as part of Arthurian Legend. When he’s having these visions, he doesn’t know what is happening to himself. After a night at a high school party where he blacks out, an unknown girl (Morgan LeFay) accuses him of rape. He’s convicted and gets sent to Juvenile Detention. Once there, his bunk mate Marvin (Merlin), helps him navigate the JD social ladder where Luke Knight (Lancelot) ruled with an iron fist and seems to hate Arthur for no reason. As Arthur makes friends and alliances with Marvin, Gage (Gawain), and Taylor (Kay), he explains to them that he doesn’t remember the night he supposedly raped the girl. Arthur and Gage figure out that Arthur’s accuser is Gage’s cousin. However, Gage mentions that it sounds like something that Morgan or her sister Anne (Anna) would do. When Arthur’s life starts getting threatened and is nearly taken from him by Luke, Marvin intervenes with magic to save Arthur.

The retelling of myths is a popular genre right now and I see that it can be done in one of two ways: a direct retelling (set in a different world/time) without the characters knowing who they are or a rebuilding of the myths with the understanding that the characters know what is going on. Either of these perspectives could be used in your manuscript.

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I think this story would be the most interesting as a rebuilding. The Arthurian legends may be too complex for a middle grade audience; frankly they are too complicated for me. They are also far too adult what with the incest, rapes, and murders. I believe it would give you more freedom and make the story the most interesting if the stories didn’t have to stick to the legends exactly.

The main characters seem innocent and childlike, which is great for middle grade. Changing the characters into descendants instead of the actual legends re-born, allows you as a writer to create your own stories and not be hemmed in by keeping to the legends exactly. That way you can still do a re-telling of the Arthurian myths through the history of the children but you also get to create new and exciting characters. Perhaps the children are all descendants in one way or another of the mythical characters. Maybe they know their family history, maybe they don’t? There could still be two distinct groups of people: those who are aware of magic and those who are not. There are those living in the “real world” and those behind the scenes working their magic and trying to save the world. What they are trying to save the world from could be hidden from the protagonist and potentially the audience as well. If this is going to be a series then you don’t need to have the world ending conflict in the first book. The audience just needs to know that there is a potential world ending issue.

Middle grade novels tend to focus on action, humor and friendships. They are very often set in schools to better mirror the readers’ lives. The action moves the plot along and there is much less inner emotional dialogue. Middle grade novels are so often series now and your title implies that you would like this to be the first in a series. For these reasons I believe that this manuscript would make a much better middle grade then young adult novel. I think that the strengths of this book are the humor, friendships and action sequences. It is hard to write a good action sequence and you are talented at it.

The story reminded me of Harry Potter and the Percy Jackson series. Those may seem like some pretty stiff competition however I believe your story is unique and can attract those same readers. Because I believe this manuscript will make a better middle grade novel then young adult novel, I am going to write the rest of the letter in that vein.

I understand changing the audience focus will require a large restructuring of the manuscript so I have some ideas. I think it would make the most sense for the manuscript to be told in either first person or a close third. That way you can keep what you want hidden or allow the reader to anticipate things that the protagonist hasn’t figured out yet. This would add more of an element of surprise and mystery. Every reader wants to feel smart and like they know something more than the characters in the book.

Perhaps Arthur is still adopted and he still doesn’t know it, he lives at home with his brother and their parents, they are 12 and 14 respectively. His parents live in the “real world.” They are aware of the magical world and have taken on the task of raising Arthur in secret to keep him safe. Maybe his parents are advisors to the big wigs in the magical world. Instead of him going away to college (his character would be too young now), his parents realize that someone (a bad guy of your choice) has discovered his true identity as King Arthur’s descendant. His parents must rush him off to a safe place such as, Cardiff Hall. Arthur doesn’t know what is happening and he struggles with feelings of abandonment and anger. Why are his parents getting rid of him? They don’t have time to tell him the truth before he leaves and he arrives at school without a clue.

This structure allows you to build in more conflict (external and internal) and work with middle grade themes: friendship, fitting in, bullies, self-identity, family, and school.

Narrative Voice and Theme: Like I mentioned earlier readers like to feel smart, they don’t want to feel patronized or talked down to. It may seem like you haven’t made your point or that there isn’t enough foreshadowing but I would encourage you to err on the side of less is more. I was not sure what the main themes of the story were or what you want them to be. What did come across quite strongly was a dislike of men and pro-environmental speak. This story would be considered a “boy book” so obviously you don’t want them to feel like they are disliked. I don’t think that is a theme that should be encouraged nor do I think that is what you truly feel. Narrative voice, like writing action scenes, is a talent. Your narrative voice is strong and you need to be aware of that, it can be used for good or evil.

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It is OK for the characters to dislike each other but the overwhelming feeling is that you, the author don’t care for the male gender. Gavin’s hate for women felt like overkill, perhaps his feeling could be shown in a more subtle way, maybe within his struggle with his mother.

There are also quite a few references to environmental protection, which is great but again it feels heavy. I do think that the environmental theme works well with this story particularly if the “bad guy” is out to destroy the world in some way. A character that comes to mind is Grover from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. That particular character was extremely interested is saving the environment; however it was portrayed in a humorous, subtle, and building way that unfolded throughout the entire story.

I think the most important thing is that a decision is made about what the main themes are and then to weave them into the story from beginning to end. Remember the types of themes that your readers are familiar with and then add your own. Assume your audience is smart and even if there are some themes that are above the heads of middle grade readers the parents and librarians are sure to understand and appreciate the deeper meanings. Just don’t beat them over the head with it.

Conflict: I thought the external climax was the battle with Anna-Morg and the internal climax was Arthur’s discovery with his adopted father that he is actually Pendragon’s son. The dialogue and emotion in both of those scenes was great, I absolutely felt for the characters.

However Author does not seem to have any internal conflict and there is no external conflict until the beginning of chapter nineteen. It was also never clear to me why they have come back, what were they up against or what they needed to accomplish. There are hints of it, something to do with Pendragon and Anna-Morg and I assume we will learn more in the next book. However it would be best for the reader to understand the outline of the conflict in the first chapter. That is what will hook the reader. The conflict is also what drives the story and controls the pacing. It works to show the reader about the characters as well, what type of action will a certain character take? Will they discover some hidden talent or will they run for the hills?

If the manuscript continues to be YA it still needs to have conflict, perhaps more internal then external but it needs to be obvious within the first chapter. When the manuscript begins, Author has hallucinations. However those start to go away and I never really understood how they affected him or the story. During the battle with Anna-Morg, Author thinks maybe he can go back and forth between present and past and discovers he can’t. I think the hallucinations were foreshadowing and gave Arthur some suspicion about his true identity. If however the structure of the story was changed and he was in a school surrounded by magic, he could stumble onto his identity in a different more exciting way. Perhaps Arthur could have dreams or flashbacks of his long lost ancestors or learn about them in his history class.

The building of the external and internal conflicts should look like a drawing of a hill, steady build, flattop=the largest climax, and short steep tail. The conflicts should start small and grow continuingly bigger and more life threatening with the inner and external climaxes coinciding at close to the same time. Between the action sequences there can be short rests for the reader to take a breath, these are great spots to do character development and back-story.

The first line is great: “All he wanted was to be a normal college kid, leading a normal life. He never wanted to be dragged into a world of magic and legend,” but then we don’t see any magic until chapter four and no action until chapter nineteen.

There is a great line in chapter twenty that I think should appear much sooner in the story: “Merlin, of course, thought that someone was trying to kill Arthur.” The reader would know something that Arthur doesn’t know and they would also know exactly the kind of story they were in for.

Character Development: There are fourteen named characters. This does not include who they were supposed to be in the past. If you include their reincarnated selves the numbers of characters doubles. Your audience can probably handle five or six without getting 18

confused or losing interest. I understand the world is large and that this is meant to be a series so probably all of the fourteen will be important, however the audience will max out at caring for five or six. I think that an illustrated family tree in the beginning of the book would be a great addition, it would help the reader keep things straight and it would allow for more characters.

There also needs to be a “bad guy,” it is important for the conflict and the plot. The protagonists need antagonists.

Anna-Morg is a bad guy but she doesn’t seem big enough. She is a single character; the audience will expect an army of pure evil, something bigger and badder. The entirety of the evil plot doesn’t need to be laid out in the first book but there should be hints. Otherwise there is not reason to read the next in the series. So the “bad guy” can become another character in him/herself.

With the shifting point of view it was hard for me to know who the main character was and that made it hard for me to care about any of them. I believe your audience will feel more attached to the story if it is told through the eyes of one person or a very close third person. Perhaps the mystery element would be more believable if the main character didn’t totally understand the world he/she was in. I think it would also help if the physical attributes of the characters were described in more detail. I never could picture any of them in my head except for beautiful Jen. Because your audience can probably only keep track of a limited number of people, the most important character building should go into the top three or four. The characters that meant the most to me were Lauren, Arthur, Gavin and Merlin.

I think that it could be more fun if the characters names weren’t so literal or maybe even if they were different sexes, Merlin could be a girl. The absolute literal representation of the characters feels forced, it forces you to stay true to the myths already told and written. It also gives away too much of the story before the characters themselves discover it.

Between the title and Arthur being named Arthur the reader doesn’t have much of a mystery to solve.

Lauren: Lauren was great, she felt the most real to me. It felt like you cared about her more than the other characters or like maybe you knew her better than the other characters. Either way I think the reader would like to know more about her.

The scene where she gets dressed up to get Gavin’s attention is perfect, full of humor and character development. I felt such empathy for both of them in that moment.

Unfortunately that scenario may be too old for a middle grade novel but it could definitely be modified to something else more appropriate. Maybe Lauren tries to show off in magic class and really messes something up in an obvious attempt to get Gavin’s attention. They don’t have to talk about it; neither of them even needs to admit that they like each other but the reader will get it. In fact I would encourage you to not have them admit it to themselves or each other, that may be too much romance for a “boy book.” But that romance could build with subsequent books. The two of them just being friends stays away from the outdated notion that a girl is only happy once she has a man, and it won’t promote the yuck factor of romance.

When Lauren tries bike jousting and all the boys get worried that she will hurt herself, that didn’t seem believable to me. Boys that young usually don’t have any concept girls can’t do all the same things they do. They are all equal and when the male characters start having that dialogue it doesn’t seem believable. On the other hand when Arthur pushed Jen out of the way of the falling branch that feels real. It is in the moment and he would have done the same thing for any friend, not just because she was a girl. The boys and girls should be equally capable of saving each other.

Arthur: If he is to remain the main character then I think that he needs to more developed, as he is now he plays a passive role until the battle with Anna-Morg. When he walks into his dorm room to discover Merlin is floating a chair, his reaction is not believable. He would freak out, run away, and maybe even try to call his parents. That scene is a great place for character development. That is when the relationship between Merlin and Arthur starts to build. How Merlin might handle Arthur’s reaction would show the reader the type of person Merlin is. Arthur having a meltdown would also allow the reader to feel for him and become more attached to him.

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I found myself caring more about the other characters because Arthur didn’t have any flaws or idiosyncrasies to speak of. He wasn’t struggling enough; there wasn’t any urgency about him until the end. Like I said the action scenes are very well done. Even while he is being attacked with the stink bombs, fire and flooding he has very little interest in why it is all happening. He has been shipped away by his loving parents from all he knows. He has a lot of questions to answer emotionally and then he gets swept up in this world of magic. That is a lot for a person to handle. He will need to rely on his newfound friends to sort it all out. Make sure that he figures it out by himself though. His friends can know or suspect before Arthur figures it out, but Arthur must overcome his largest battle primarily on his own. This is particularly important with his internal struggle. Perhaps Arthur grows to understand why his parents did what they did; maybe he finds the inner strength to embrace his destiny.

Gavin: Oh Gavin, such a negative Nancy. I actually really liked Gavin; his character reminded me of many boys I went to school with. Gavin went through the most change, he starts out as a women hating jerk and becomes in the end a good friend to Lauren. Like I mentioned earlier the women hating feels inappropriate and unnecessary.

It does make sense to have Gavin struggle with his feeling for his mother, that conflict could definitely be ratcheted up.

Perhaps Gavin could start out as his mother’s ally and then through his friendship with Lauren and Arthur, he could start to turn against his mother. That would add a little subplot with plenty of potential action and emotional turmoil. He could even betray his friends in some way before he realizes fully the extent of his mother’s evilness. If he comes over to the good side he would have insider information that he could share with Arthur and his friends.

Merlin: Because the Merlin of the past was such a powerful wizard, maybe present day Merlin has a hard time with magic.

Perhaps he/she isn’t that good at it and has to struggle with feelings of failure. Maybe Merlin has to hide his struggle from his friends and family who expect him to be amazing at magic, because he comes from such a long line of powerful wizards. His character could still be weird and slightly patronizing but the reader will discover at some point that his personality quirks are just a front for his weaknesses. This is where a nice adult could be brought into the story; perhaps one of the teachers at the school pulls Merlin aside to help him. The adult can’t solve the problem of course but in middle grade novels it is OK to have some nice grown-ups.

Dialogue: There is already quite a bit of dialogue in this story, which is great for middle grade novels. This is a great example.

“I’m fine,” Arthur insisted. He stood up and walked over to the fallen bike. The front wheel was slowly rotating. He righted the bike, wheeled it to the path, and got back on.

“It wasn’t a fair match,” Arthur said. “My steed got spooked by a butterfly.”

Gavin grinned and climbed back on his own bike.

“Just my luck that I’m the worst at this. It’s my idea and I fail at it.” He shook his head as Kay and Percy jousted. Once again, an even match. “How is it that all of you are so good at this and I’m not?

“Don’t know. Natural athletic ability?” Gavin asked.

“But you’re terrible at sports,” Arthur pointed out “Only ones that don’t include horses…or essence of horses.”

This is a great sequence of dialogue, the reader learns that Gavin is only good at sports involving horses and that Merlin is not that athletically inclined. It also adds humor, a very important aspect in middle grade novels. If the dialogue is not either providing character development or moving the plot forward then it should probably be cut. Dialogue is a great way to move the story along. If there is too much and it’s not doing a particular job than it can start to feel tedious and forced.

World Building: This is one of the most important parts of a fantast story. I know that some books in this genre can overwhelm the reader with world building and you don’t want to do that, but I do think this story could use more. The description of 20

the dorm room is great. The reader can really imagine it and understands that Arthur’s room is different from the other rooms. However, I was never really sure where the school was or what part of the world they were in. After the initial description of the school and room the world around them plays very little part in the story.

I also didn’t understand the wider world around them, what is happening in the society around them? Why was AnnaMorg trying to take over Pendragon, is there only a few corporations left, what does Pendragon do that makes her want it so bad? Is the story set in present day as the world is now or is it set in present day within a different world or is it set in the future/past? If you decide to change the structure of the story to middle grade then the reader will need to be able to imagine the difference between the world Arthur was living in vs. the world he has been thrust into. Do people dress differently, talk differently, eat differently, play differently‌etc etc? The more the reader can picture those differences the more empathy they will have for Arthur in his struggle to find his place in this new world. The stronger the description of the world the more likely the reader is to want to continue reading about that world in subsequent novels.

Like I said I think you are on the right path and I can really feel your passion for the topic. I hope that this letter is helpful to you as you continue to work your way through the writing process.

Sincerely, Laura Larrabee

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Developmental Edit Adult Dear Raymond L. Jicha, Thank you for the opportunity to read your manuscript At Least He Fails. I enjoyed reading it and creating a developmental revision plan for it. The theme seemed to be circular, the re-creation of Big Ray’s journey, going back to the sixties and trying to find a time already past. The physical journey circles back on itself as well with Little Ray’s return to his mother. I have based my suggestions on the continuation of this theme; I believe it is one that most people can relate to.

My main areas of focus are: character development, dialogue, pace, action, and audience.

Because this manuscript is about Little Ray’s journey, physically and emotionally, I think the introduction should be more about his relationship with his mother and father. What is the family history, why did he leave school and home, why is his dad living in a hotel? These questions get answered throughout the manuscript and I am not suggesting that you throw it all out there in the beginning. However, I believe you risk losing your readers with the introduction as it is now. There are a multitude of characters that only appear in the introduction and play no role in the rest of the story. It is hard for a reader to keep track of more then six or seven characters. The typical reader will feel an emotional connection to two or three at the most.

Because there are so many characters I found the dialogue to be confusing through out the manuscript. Instead of spending so much time with the superfluous characters, take advantage of the interaction with his father to develop Little Ray’s character and fill in the history so the reader wants to follow him on his journey.

Because there are no dialogue tags I wasn’t sure who was talking. I gave some examples later in the revision plan. The confusion with the dialogue can be taken care of with more tags (he said, she said). Toward the middle of the manuscript italics begin to identify Little Ray’s internal thoughts; that isn’t necessary as the reader assumes they are in his head because of the first person narration.

In regard to his development throughout the manuscript, there are a number of instances when Little Ray’s character takes a turn for the worse. Because this manuscript is about a young man, a large part of your audience will be men; however, statistically women purchase more books so that needs to be taken into account. A female audience will probably not want to read a book about a young kid who comes off as a jerk to women. Young men may begin to feel contempt for Little Ray’s apparent lack of confidence and skill, much like Ray does for his father during their meeting in The City. Again, I think that a more historical introduction would build a more multidimensional Little Ray. All people do stupid stuff and make mistakes; an audience wants to feel understanding and compassion not contempt and embarrassment.

In keeping with the circular theme I think the end of the manuscript could be brought to the beginning; start with the trip back to mom and then explain how it all came to be. That would create an interest in the reader to learn the whole story.

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I know that there is a popular trend now to leave endings unfinished, however, the ending felt unsatisfying to me. The ending speaks to dissatisfaction, as does the title. Little Ray himself feels that way about his life and the world around him.

As a reader I would like a more concrete ending, bringing the end to beginning and having the story go full circle could help with that. Ray starts with his mom and ends with her.

Requiem for a Cornerman Character Development: “Come on, Ray, let’s go.” Big Ray seemed a little keyed up.

We stepped out and he made the introductions. “Little Ray, dis is Mike McKee. He’s a fighter we’re thinking of working with.”

“We’re gonna make a couple stops and then I thought you guys could go hang out.

“Your Pops thought you might like to go for a ride.”

“Sure.” I’m not quite sure what this is about but whatever This is a good way to portray Big Ray’s protectiveness but LR seems oblivious to his father’s true goings-on. The reader sees the steady decline of Big Ray—you do a great job of bringing him to life—but Little Ray’s character is more vague.

This first part seems more about his father than about him.

“Big Ray and Mama owned a jazz club.”

There are snippets of family history and as the reader I want more. What happened to create this family dynamic? When did they own a jazz club? What happened?

Point of View:

Only in a wasteland can flowers like the Sterling bloom. When the cities burned in the Sixties and regular folk abandoned them for the suburbs and other communes, new species began to thrive. Big Ray and the others who couldn’t or wouldn’t reconcile themselves to the straight life took root on the corner of 30th and Prospect. For twenty years they carved out a niche for themselves and created their own world. In August of 1985 that world came to an end, unnoticed and unmourned, not because it died—but because others, stronger and more numerous, could no longer allow it to live.

For me, a young man on the cusp of his first foray into the wider world, these events threatened to overwhelm my fragile identity and cast a pall over the joyous adventure I had scripted for myself. If I could not begin my story without first telling his, I could not finish it without leaving him behind. My story is out there, somewhere.

The point of view seems to differ back and forth between the confused, on-a-first-journey young man, and an older more analytical man. As a reader I appreciated the older point of view, however I wanted it to be more clearly defined. Perhaps the narrator could be developed into a more separate character. This would also give you the opportunity to grow Little Ray’s character more, what he felt then vs. what he feels now that he has been on life’s journey for a longer period of time.

Readers like to know what happens to a character after the book is over and this back and forth point of view gives you the opportunity to fulfill that need.

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Query: We took the elevator down to the lobby. You could still make out where the words ‘Sandy Brown Laszlo Brown’ had been scratched into the inside of the elevator door. The last ‘Brown’ was the most recent and the only one still completely legible.

Who is Sandy Brown Laszlo Brown? There is the description of Ray’s mother having remarried her original husband, but then Ray’s stepmother, also named Sandy has died. Sandy Brown Laszlo Brown is written in the elevator.

There is also mention of Sandy being picked up for prostitution. So who is Sandy BLB: Ray’s biological mother or Big Ray’s dead wife, or Little Ray’s stepmother?

Query/Pace/Action: The cemetery scene in the introduction seems unnecessary. Is the point to describe Big Ray’s past? I believe that could be accomplished with a more historical introduction. I found myself confused in this scene by Big Ray’s dialogue. I think that when a reader is confused it causes skimming of the page instead of actual reading.

Genius Loci “Spirit of Place” The title makes sense but is perhaps too ethereal; I had to Google it to find out what it meant. I like this section of the manuscript. As the reader, I’m excited to finally begin the journey.

Character Development: “Five-Oh!” The other guy had been standing lookout while Leon and I negotiated. We all grabbed up our things and scattered. I got a safe distance away and into a school of fellow travelers before I turned around to make sure the cops hadn’t drawn a bead on me. I didn’t see any cops. I lingered for a minute thinking maybe we could reconvene when the coast was clear. I spotted Leon walking not far away. I sidled up with a friendly smile.

“How about that dime bag?”

“Get away from me, motherfucker.”

His voice carried a menace not previously in evidence. I shrank back, thoroughly intimidated. It seemed I had misjudged Leon. Leon was no Mike McKee. More to the point perhaps but unthinkable at the time: Leon didn’t know Big Ray. As the reader, I am having a hard time understanding LR’s apparent knowledge and experience with his father’s underworld versus situations where he seems to have no experience. Perhaps this would be a good place to describe the difference between the seedy drug and prostitute world of his father as compared to the hippy drug and discovery world that Little Ray is seeking.

Where Boulder was becoming a lifestyle community, Nederland had a muddy, hard-wind look to it and its people. Bikers with fresh deer legs slung across their backs like rifles roared by earth mothers with sucked-out teats, worn loose, shepherding their broods across the curved main street.

Above town we turned off the main road and wound up and up until the road became a track and the trees grew short and twisted. Small, streamless ponds gathered in depressions here and there. At the top of the ridge we confronted a still more daunting file of peaks, standing like Titans, barring the way.

Great description, use this type of feeling to build Little Ray’s introspection and emotional growth.

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Character Development/Audience: She left her husband the next day and moved into an apartment near campus. The last time we got together it was at her place to watch the Live Aid concert. We spat in unison at Joan Baez’ assertion that this was our Woodstock.

We drank a little and started to fool around there on the living room floor but I made her wait until after the Led Zeppelin reunion before we retired to her bedroom and I fucked her in the ass. Her idea.

“Hurt me, Ray.” “Um, OK.” That was pretty cool.

The Cathy story feels a bit abrupt and shallow; this would be a place to add more introspection, especially since she appears in the manuscript again. Either cut this section out or delve deeper into the feelings associated with this relationship.

Pace: Two guys trying to hitchhike together becomes a long odds proposition. You represent too much of a potential threat to most drivers. A girl and a guy can do it. She attracts the rides and he plays defense. Big Ray and Sandy Brown used to come down to South Carolina together and it didn’t take them any longer than one of us alone.

Two women can hitch together if they can watch each others’ backs but two men is no good. Like anything out there, it can be done, but it’ll take longer and you’ll receive less generosity.

We had walked a half-mile when a pickup stopped and Carlos and I got in the back. It only took us about five miles, just to the next crossroads, but it put some distance between the Okies and us. Carlos decided to get something to eat from a small grocery there. I took the opportunity to break away. Besides, it would be dark soon and I wanted to get as far as I could. You never know when you’re going to pop a long ride.

This interaction slows the pace of the story and seems like foreshadowing, I kept expecting Carlos to show up again. This could be a place to add a little more drama to the story. As a reader I was hoping for a little action, I thought maybe Carlos was going to be a “bad guy.”

Don’t laugh. Funny gets you to Denver. Fred called this tactic “turning nickels into dimes”. I worked for Fred at the Capitol Newsstand in Columbia for a year before my trip. The newsstand had sat on Main Street at the foot of the South Carolina statehouse since the ‘40s and had become in that time an important institution where politicians and street people crossed paths with an informality unique to the South. We carried all the major dailies, most of which arrived a day or two late by mail. We carried every magazine then in general distribution. And we sold books: mostly best sellers, self-help, and the usual suspects from ENGL 101.

I like this story, it reads as genuine. I think some mention could be made of Fred earlier along with Little Ray’s history; he seems to have made a large impact on LR and his decisions.

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Query: Hitchhiking is easy, but only in general.

In this case, I needed to let drivers know which of the three directions I wanted at the interchange up ahead. A flattened cardboard boxtop marked “80-W” in letters six inches high would tell drivers what they needed to know.

The art and science of hitchhiking reveals itself over time. It has two distinct segments: how to get a ride and how to act during a ride. Getting a ride requires work, planning and not a little psychology. Of all the cars that pass you, only a tiny fraction will even consider stopping. Of the few who might stop only a tiny fraction will do so, because they are distracted, in a hurry, have no room or can’t pull over in traffic.

Your job is to give a potential ride as few reasons as possible not to stop.

When Ray begins his hitchhiking journey, he has so much knowledge about the rules of hitching, it seems out of place as compared to his general level of naivety. He seems overly knowledgeable based on his character so far. Did he hitch with his father? Did he really know all of that then or was it knowledge he gained throughout the journey?

“Don’t they say never to eat a place called Mother’s?”

“Isn’t that the point?”

My first koan.

Once I googled koan, I understood what this meant, but like the Genius Loci, I didn’t get it until I researched it.

On Wednesday evening I announced I would leave for San Francisco the next morning.

I snuck out to the back yard that night and tried to meditate: sitting crosslegged, breathing rhythmically, chanting “nam yo renge kyo” and focusing my mind on the face of a girl I once loved.

Who did LR once love and does it matter to the story? Could you expand on this? Going more indepth about Cathy and about this could help keep your audience interested

The City Point of View:

Mayor Feinstein was trying to calm public fears after a guy named Peter Pan and his old lady got shot in their beds a few nights before and the killer had scrawled devil shit on the walls. Richard Ramirez would be identified and caught before the end of the month and it turned out he had been staying in a hotel in the Tenderloin not long before and not far from me. They say Hunter Thompson was the night manager at the O’Farrell that summer too, but I didn’t see either one of them.

Homeless was a new word then. Budget cuts, they explained.

Ryan White, still trying to be a kid in Indiana, would become the face of the disease over the course of the next year. Everyone had heard of AIDS but you still had to go to San Francisco, or Haiti, to find it.

Change from present to future looking back. This POV change happens frequently, perhaps make it clearer: take advantage of the older narrative voice by making statements more detailed, “as I see it now, I realize that the word homeless was more than budget cuts.” Describe the cultural environment more, what was happening in the United States during the eighties. Little Ray may not have been aware of it then but as the older narrator he would be. The reader would find it interesting and the addition of “world building” brings the story to life.

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Not however before it intensified. Corey started screaming. He was a nasty drunk and grabbed a strip of meat off the hibachi and slammed it back down to signify that Keith was cooking it incorrectly. At this point even Calhoun was drawn in as the group enforced its rules and stood against Corey. In the face of their united front he broke, like drunks do, into regretful, self-loathing resignation. He was then welcomed back into the group with words of consolation and pats on the back. The storm was over. The tribe survived.

This paragraph comes directly after the wine mishap, it’s a great description but seems like an older POV, but it seems strange, in direct comparison to his inability to analyze the fact that he can’t take wine without asking. A young man that can analyze group dynamics that well would know not to take the wine.

Point of View/Pace/Theme While reading The City I felt I was following Little Ray around rather then being in his head with him. His internal dialogue seemed very limited. The environment around him plays such a large role in the story, from the actual physical environment to the general feeling of the United States during that time. I would like to see that aspect filled out more, almost like an additional character in the manuscript.

Audience/Character Development: It is important for the audience to have compassion for or at least an understanding for LR. The feelings for his father are honest and understandable, all children push away from their parents to fly alone. However, this interaction makes LR seem very cold and unfeeling.

“Maybe you’re just too old to hitchhike anymore. Like, you were a funky old dude in ’73 but now you look like a nut. Not that you are, but this is 1985 and that’s what people see. Plus your leg and stuff. You know there’s nothing wrong with turning the page. That’s what I’m doing.”

He winced at that but did not protest much. I felt I made my point and was pleased to be able to return some of the wisdom that he had shared with me over the years.

Did this take a lot of guts for LR to tell his father? Based on their relationship it seems like it would have. It is also quite a large turning point for both of them. This could be a great place to describe LR’s feelings more or add more to their conversation. It is the moment when LR really breaks away from repeating his fathers journey and starts having his own, metaphorically and literally.

Character Development/Dialogue: “You ready?” That was a rhetorical question.

“Good luck. Call Mama and let her know where you wind up so I can get in touch with you.”

“OK. I love ya. You’ll do great.”

Who is saying what here, is it purposely ambiguous? Based on the previous interaction and the change in relationship it could be going either way?

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Query: I made the mistake at one point of wandering into the Keith-Punk chess match and getting presumptuous with the wine. As I walked up and reached for the jug, Keith turned his fire on me.

“You be careful! You’re a guest! That isn’t your wine!”

Shocked and embarrassed I quickly retreated back to my guide. He reassured me that it wasn’t my fault, that Keith always let Corey get him uptight, that I was welcome, and that the storm would pass.

Based on his experience he should have known better, seems strange. If the story is going to include these parts where LR acts rather clueless, the audience needs more explanation. Why does he know so much about hitching but not the simple street rules, “don’t take without asking?”

There were a few obligatory nods and sips from their cans but otherwise I was roundly ignored. I worked on the guy next to me and he grunted a few complete sentences in reply, mostly of warning.

“Be careful who you talk to. This ain’t the suburbs.”

He had a point. By the time I finished my smoke I had decided that I came out here to get weird and this was definitely weird.

This is where I turn pro.

Why do they assume Ray is naïve, what is it about him that causes these reactions?

After that long hitchhiking journey why does Ray still feel so unpro? What will it take for him to feel experienced enough?

Empty Quarter There is a lot of potential for action in this section, I found myself wishing something would go wrong. I would be interested to see how Little Ray would handle an intense situation. The fight at the end of the manuscript would be great anywhere within the journey.

My favorite line in the manuscript is in this section and I think it would make a great title in some fashion, Even Footsteps on the Moon. I understand the title comes from the epigraph in the beginning, however it may come across as a bit self-helpy.

“Honey, there’s footprints on the moon.”

Pace: Busses are a great way to get out of large urban areas where hitchhiking is difficult. Even medium sized cities often have long routes out past the exurbs to pick up the domestics and bring them in for work. If you’re downtown somewhere trying to get out consult a route map or ask the driver of the first bus you see. Take the system to the furthest point from the center that’s closest to your escape road.

This opening paragraph reads a bit like a travel guide.

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Proving them right, I got a quick ride from a young couple in an ancient green road-bomb of questionable provenance. I sat in the back while she talked and he drove. Their names were Vicki and David and they were beautiful like flowers that live for one day. They lived in Arcata, way up the coast, but had been down in Oakland so David could take some carpentry work.

“We left the baby with my mother and drove down last week. But the guy with the work never showed up and we didn’t have enough money to stay and look for anything else. We’re going back home now. We’re not sure what we’re going to do. If there was work in Arcata we wouldn’t have been in Oakland, you know? All you need is love, right, Baby?”

This interaction feels slow.

Audience/Pace: I kept thinking something was going to happen, some excitement, but the trip seems to have been relatively easy for him.

Less than a minute passed before I heard a vehicle coming up behind me. Its engine had a familiar pitch. I went taut. It passed me.

Same car. No mistake now.

I quickened my pace. The park was still a hundred yards away, the hill got steeper. I don’t know what’s happening but it’s not good. Don’t run. Not yet. I only saw one silhouette in the truck the last time it passed me, even odds unless he has a gun. He probably has a gun. If I can get to the park I can get away from the road so he can’t drive up on me. Don’t run. Don’t look scared.

At this point in the manuscript the audience will be expecting some sort of action or conflict.

Action/Pace:

It took us at least fifteen minutes on the highway to get there and I started thinking this was getting to be a pain in the ass. We arrived at a small house on a sun-washed street. Inside he ducked in the back to fetch the weed while I took a seat and had a look around. The room was tastefully appointed with lavender and teal accents and festooned with cut-glass bric-a-brac. I picked up a framed handbill for an all-Latino male revue called “Peek-O de Guy-O starring Carlos Badidea” and picturing my host.

I like this part; the reader can feel his stress and exhaustion.

Why had we stopped? Were they coming for me?

My heart pounded and I lay back from the doorway. Another train came speeding by, no more than ten feet away, heading back in the direction from which we had come. I relaxed a little. We repeated this pattern throughout the night. We pulled off on a spur, let another train go by, and then slowly began again.

Really thought something was going to happen, but like the park scene the reader is left unsatisfied.

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Character Development: “I hate those fucking things. Why even leave home if you’re just going to bring it with you? They’re missing the whole point. Those gutless, sheltered little freaks. Those families. They make me sick.”

Tony’s ranger duties took him to the Klamath River where he hung out at the boat landing and took a creel census of the returning fisherman. The Klamath had a big salmon run going. He invited me to hang out for a while and we turned off of 101 just above the river and wound back into the valley for a couple of miles passing alternating forests of redwoods and RVs. In the river, one hundred anglers stood shoulder to shoulder in the shallow water.

I wondered how they called that fishing. There was no stealth, no solitude. Those goobers wanted meat. The hip waders and pocket vests were strictly to impress the neighbors. They’d have used hand grenades if it weren’t for Tony.

This sudden vehement reaction seemed out of place for his character so far and rather arrogant and judgmental.

Shit.

He accelerated a little at first.

Keep moving, pig, keep moving.

But I heard the engine rev down and he began to slow as he got closer until he had pulled into the emergency lane and almost to my feet, where he stopped.

Be cool. Be cool. This ain’t nothin’.

This is a great scene. Take advantage of it to show his fear and emotion.

Character Development/Point of View Drafty as a peach basket it sat on a pleasant hill and looked over to the waterfront skyline, which glittered in the atypical sun.

It was a good time to be in the military. There were no actual wars to fight.

Reagan was pouring money into SDI. Gorbachev had just taken power in the Soviet Union. Nobody knew it would all be over soon. The guys in the sedans looked all grim and full of shit.

Fuck you. You’re on welfare just like everyone else.

Doesn’t seem like the way LR would think about or describe a scene.

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Character Development/Audience: “That’s interesting, Ray. Somebody came here looking for you, too.”

“Who?”

“A woman you knew from North Carolina, a friend of Dave’s”

“South Carolina. You mean Cathy? What for? She said that? She was looking for me? What for?”

Little Ray continues to show no emotion towards Cathy who has sought him out. This lack of emotion or even simple curiosity will alienate a female audience.

Query: I still faced a tough start in Santa Rosa because I had been informed by reliable sources that CHP strictly prohibited hitching on limited access highways. I didn’t want to fuck with Ponch and John so I was stuck on a short, shoulderless ramp onto US-101 What are CHP and Ponch and John?

“They’re not too friendly to street people around here, but there’s a park up the hill about a half mile, Skinner Butte. Nobody will mess with you in there.”

Does he look like a street person at this point?

If they were there wouldn’t they have got here by now, or moved or something? Now it looked like the flashlights might just have been the orange lights of the park. The movement came from the tree branches in front of them, swayed by the breeze that rustled the leaves to sound like voices and footfalls to me. That guy was definitely following me, though. I didn’t make that up. Jesus, did I imagine all the rest? All those mushrooms and the first hallucination I have is of some guy trying to kill me. This speed is making me crazy.

What happened with the people in the park, were they cops, a hallucination or just other people looking for a place to sleep?

There beside me sat an open-topped Porsche 914, blue, like her skirt. She was blonde and wore a knit top, cream, like her thigh, as smooth as frozen custard on a hot day. It was a very hot day.

It seems rather unbelievable that this woman would have picked him up, especially if he now looks like a homeless person.

Why is his mother so nice to Big Ray still?

I called Mama and she gave me Big Ray’s new number in Cleveland, she said he was staying with Lady Day, and cousin Geordie’s number in Austin. She said she’d call them and tell them I was a few days out.

I didn’t call Big Ray even though Mama said I should.

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Back to the Future Character Development: “Your mother loves you, Ray. She’s just worried about you. In her family they don’t know the difference between smoking grass and shooting heroin. Going to a bar means you’re an alcoholic. And she won’t say it but she doesn’t want you to turn out like me. Neither do I, for that matter, but I’m not worried about it It didn’t work either. Mama tried hard with me but never really understood what she was dealing with. She got raised strictly as one of eight kids on a depression era farm. She tried to raise me the same way. Of course she did.

She recognized only obedience and work as signal virtues.

I obeyed for fear of the lash when I was little but I was an only child, a boy, raised in relative comfort in midcentury suburbia. Her experience did not translate well to mine. Between the ages of five and ten I endured two divorces and two out-of-state relocations. I spent most of my time alone. The TV was my friend; I had my books and toy soldiers. I was imaginative if not quite dreamy. Emotional. I always asked why everything. I liked school. I got picked early for sports and my teachers loved me, I spoke so well.

This is the first time the reader really gets any back-story on Little Ray’s family. I would love this in the beginning of the manuscript.

Dialogue: “Daddy, I’m telling you, I did everything right this time. I got here Thursday night and I started work on Monday.

I worked fifty hours last week; I got the pay stub to prove it. I been helping out around the house too. I scrubbed the damn toilets on my hands and knees yesterday. As for smoking dope, yeah, I bought a bag off of Henry, but I only smoke a little when I get home after work. Geordie said it was OK and I step outside to do that ‘cause she asked me to. What else am I supposed to do?”

The reader can feel his pain and empathize with him.

Action/Query My heart ticked a hundred ticks in those two seconds but then the gods spared us. First, a guy burst through the doors of the bar, ran headlong for his car, got in and peeled out, kicking up gravel and dust as he went. Two guys came out after him, giving up their pursuit as he made the main road and accelerated out of sight. Then another man, held up by two screaming girls, staggered out, his left arm and shirt soaked with blood. He made it to the bottom of the steps and slumped on the hood of a parked car.

Why all this action at the end? I would like to see something like this during his journey.

Overall I found the story to feel genuine and to ring true. It is a good story and has the potential to capture audience attention. I did however find the manuscript to ask a lot of the reader. I think it could be better if it read like more of a story and less like an intellectual exercise. Thank you again for allowing me to read your manuscript. I hope that my thoughts are helpful to you in your work.

Best, Laura Larrabee 32

INTELLECTUAL COPYRIGHT

Susap Kirtsaeng v. John Wiley and Sons, Inc.

Chief Justice Roberts: “That’s an awfully difficult maze for somebody to - - to get through.”

This case encompasses over one hundred years of copyright law, at least three major cases and over four different statutes of copyright law. And if that it is not confusing enough, it also relies heavily on interpreting the English language, and the spirit in which it was written. People long passed, people who could not have possibly foreseen the legal issues of the twenty first century, wrote much of the law being interpreted in this case.

I will begin by defining the statutes, laws, and cases involved in the interpretation of Kirtsaeng v John Wiley. I will attempt to explain them in layperson terms. I will try to explain the circumstances surrounding this case including but not limited to: definitions of statutes, past cases affecting this case, and possible outcomes based on the Supreme Court’s decision. I will begin with the three primary statutes of copyright law in contention.

Statute Definitions These are the rights of the owner of the copyright; the important part of this statute is highlighted in red, subject to sections 107 through 122, so immediately these rights are subject to other statutes. Starting to get confused yet?

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USC 106. Exclusive rights in copyrighted works Subject to sections 107 through 122 [17 USC § §107 through 122], the owner of copyright under this title has the exclusive rights to do and to authorize any of the following: (1) to reproduce the copyrighted work in copies or phonorecords; (2) to prepare derivative works based upon the copyrighted work; (3) to distribute copies or phonorecords of the copyrighted work to the public by sale or other transfer of ownership, or by rental, lease, or lending; (4) in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and motion pictures and other audiovisual works, to perform the copyrighted work publicly; (5) in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and pictorial, graphic, or sculptural works, including the individual images of a motion picture or other audiovisual work, to display the copyrighted work publicly; and (6) in the case of sound recordings, to perform the copyrighted work publicly by means of a digital audio transmission.

17 USC 109 Limitations on exclusive rights: Effect of transfer of particular copy or phonorecord (a) Notwithstanding the provisions of section 106(3) [17 USC 106(3)], the owner of a particular copy or phonorecord lawfully made under this title, or any person authorized by such owner, is entitled, without the authority of the copyright owner, to sell or otherwise dispose of the possession of that copy or phonorecord. Notwithstanding the preceding sentence, copies or phonorecords of works subject to restored copyright under section 104A [17 USC 104A] that are manufactured before the date of restoration of copyright or, with respect to reliance parties, before publication or service of notice under section 104A(e) [17 USC 104A(e)], may be sold or otherwise disposed of without the authorization of the owner of the restored copyright for purposes of direct or indirect commercial advantage only during the 12-month period beginning on- (1) the date of the publication in the Federal Register of the notice of intent filed with the Copyright Office under section 104A(d)(2)(A) [17 USC 104A(d)(2)(A)], or

(2) the date of the receipt of actual notice served under section 104A(d)(2)(B) [17 USC 104A(d) (2)(B)], whichever occurs first.

17 USC 602 Infringing importation of copies or phonorecords (a) Importation into the United States, without the authority of the owner of copyright under this title, of copies or phonorecords of a work that have been acquired outside the United States is an infringement of the exclusive right to distribute copies or phonorecords under section 106 [17 USC 106], actionable under section 501 [17 USC 501]. This subsection does not apply to- (1) importation of copies or phonorecords under the authority or for the use of the Government of the United States or of any State or political subdivision of a State, but not including copies or phonorecords for use in schools, or copies of any audiovisual work imported for purposes other than archival use;

(2) importation, for the private use of the importer and not for distribution, by any person with respect to no more than one copy or phonorecord of any one work at any one time, or by any person arriving from outside the United States with respect to copies or phonorecords forming part of such person’s personal baggage; or

This statute is better known as the “first sale doctrine” and at its most literal it means: “allows the legal purchaser of an item to sell or dispose of it as they see fit.” So 109 trumps 106 but there is one more statute at play here, statute 602.

(3) importation by or for an organization operated for scholarly, educational, or religious purposes and not for private gain, with respect to no more than one copy of an audiovisual work solely for its archival purposes, and no more than five copies or phonorecords of any other work for its library lending or archival purposes, unless the importation of such copies or phonorecords is part of an activity consisting of systematic reproduction or distribution, engaged in by such organization in violation of the provisions of section 108(g)(2) [17 USC 108(g)(2)].

It seems clear that 109 supersedes 106 but where does 602 come in and what does “to sell or otherwise dispose of ” encompass? Historically the most contentious terms have been “lawfully made,” “to sell and dispose of,” and “importation.”

essence this would mean that a person purchasing overseas would need to then sign a separate contract with the copyright holder authorizing his or her export from country A to country B.

What is the definition of importation? Is it simply to carry goods across a border? Under 602, the person carrying goods across a border for private use is protected and not considered to be infringing. If importation is considered a separate act from selling or disposing then 602 and 109 come into conflict and a person bringing items into the United States to sell would not be protected by the first sale doctrine. In

These questions are what the Supreme Court is struggling with in Kirtsaeng v. John Wiley. If importation was included as part of the definition of “dispose of ” it would seem that 602 becomes superfluous except in cases of theft or piratical copies. Section (a) (1) states that works that have been “acquired outside the United States is an infringement of the exclusive right to distribute copies or phonorecords under section 106 [17 USC 35

106], actionable under section 501 [17 USC 501].” This, brings the argument to what “under” means. Does it imply that 602 is literally under 106 which is under 109, or does it mean under as in explained by the definitions of 106?

However if importation and sale/disposal are not separate entities then why did Congress bother to create a separate statute to cover it? Furthermore why is there explicit language to protect the average traveler allowing them to bring home copies for private use? These questions were brought before the Supreme Court in Quality King Distribution. v. L’anza Research Institution. In a unanimous vote the court decided that yes, the first sale doctrine does apply to imported copies. What that means is the court decided that the act of importing was synonymous with “to sell or dispose of.” Justice Stevens wrote for the Court “The whole point of the first sale doctrine is that once the copyright owner places a copyrighted item in the stream of commerce by selling it, he has exhausted his exclusive statutory right to control its distribution.”

In my mind, the court felt that the protection for copyright holders given by 602 was meant to protect against unlawful distribution. Their decision to hold the first sale doctrine as essentially more important, says to me, that they view the purchase of product overseas as exhausting the copyright holders protection under 106. This case was decided in 1998 and has been consistently scrutinized and referred to since.

It is being used again in the Kirtsaeng case and I will discuss this case again in the respondent portion of this paper.

The second and even older case that plays a large role in this case is the Bobbs-Merrill Co. v Straus (1908). This case was between a publisher, Bobbs-Merrill and a retailer, Straus.

The publisher sold books for retail sale to Straus with a label inside each book notifying the retailer that each book had to be sold for $1.00 or more, but no less. Straus disregarded the notice and sold the books for less; Bobbs-Merrill sued for copyright infringement.

The court found, “The sole right to vend granted by § 4952, Rev. Stat., does not secure to the owner of the copyright the right to qualify future sales by his vendee or to limit or restrict such future sales at a specified price, and a notice in the book that a sale at a different price will be treated as an infringement is ineffectual as against one not bound by contract or license agreement.” What the court is saying is the essence of the first sale doctrine: once sold the owner of the copyright can no longer control the price or movement of the object.

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This brings us to the present case of Kirtsaeng v. John Wiley.

Kirtsaeng is originally from Thailand and came to the United States to attend college. Upon his arrival he was shocked at the prices of textbooks, so he had his family and friends purchase and mail him the same textbooks from Thailand. The same textbooks could be purchased at a substantially lower cost in Thailand. The textbooks were primarily from John Wiley and all included this statement “made for exclusive sale abroad.”

John Wiley sued Kirtsaeng for copyright infringement and won twice in lower courts. The case was heard in front of the Supreme Court on October 29, 2012. This particular case has become a battle over the term “lawfully made” as stated in USC 109. Kirtsaeng stating that lawfully made means anything made under the law of United States copyright. Wiley would like the court to view lawfully made to pertain to products made on US soil only.

The Wiley definition would indicate that anything made overseas would potentially be under the control of their copyright even after the first sale. This means anything that has a label, “made in country X,” would require an additional contract to export, import, or resell.

And around we go in a circle, round and round we go chasing our tails or maybe I should say we are chasing the English language around in circles. The courts are being asked to read the thoughts and intentions of past lawmakers to understand the definition of the phrases in contention.

What did they mean when they penned the phrase “lawfully made,” and what are the potential consequences of this particular Supreme Court decision?

There are three more terms that require definition if this case is to be made sense of; parade of horribles, gray market, and international/national exhaustion. Parade of horribles is what the petitioner would like the court to believe which may happen if the Court finds in Wiley’s favor, i.e. the eternal downstream control of product. The gray market, also called the secondary or parallel market, is where resale happens; think of EBay, Goodwill, garage sales, libraries, and museums.

International or national exhaustion means that once something is sold the rights of the copyright holder are either exhausted within that nation specifically or internationally.

Exhaustion is a country-by-country issue and the United States does not have an all encompassing law specific to

exhaustion. This case would set a precedent for international exhaustion. The TRIPS and Berne Conventions speak to the law of exhaustion and I will discuss them further on.

Although the Quality King and Kirtsaeng case are both about importation, they deviate on one major point. The Quality King case dealt with a round trip of goods. The goods were manufactured in the United States, shipped abroad, purchased abroad and shipped back into the United States. The Kirtsaeng case involves products manufactured overseas, purchased overseas, imported into the United States and then sold. The manufacturing abroad vs. on Untied States soil is the focal point of this case. This is a very important distinction and what the case hinges on.

This is the second case the Supreme Court has recently heard involving the issue of the first sale doctrine. The first, Costco Wholesale Corporation v. Omega, ended in a deadlock. Because the case was a deadlock the lower courts decision is upheld but non-binding for other circuits. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals decided that Costco was not allowed to import foreign made Omega watches for re-sale in the United States without the authority of the US copyright holder.

This decision limited the first sale doctrine and was applauded by the publishing industry which has always chaffed at the cheap re-sale of foreign made textbooks in the When the Second Circuit Court of Appeals heard the Kirtsaeng v. John Wiley it took the Ninth Court decision a step further stating that the first sale doctrine does not apply to works manufactured outside the United States. The Second Circuit rejected the exception found by the Ninth Court that first sale would still apply to foreign made products if they were imported with the authority of the US copyright holder. The Second Court found that there was no foundation for this exception in the first sale doctrine language.

The decision by the Second Court has brought the very existence of the secondary market into question. The concept of endless downstream control is defined as the Holy Grail of manufacturing. The concern is that manufactures will move overseas taking with them jobs. The other major concern is the ability of the secondary market to resell any product. Think of your car; it is filled with parts manufactured overseas, so when you try to sell your car you would need to get authorization from every copyright holder of all of those parts manufactured overseas. Or perhaps you want to have a garage sale. Better find all those original copyright holders and ask their permission. These examples may seem ridiculous and quickly shape themselves into a slippery slope fallacy, but these are some of the potential outcomes of current decisions.

The Supreme Court transcripts from the Kirtsaeng case make it clear that the Justices are very concerned with the potential consequences arising from the Ninth Court decision. The Ninth Court decision allows endless downstream control of products manufactured overseas, potentially that means that anything manufactured overseas cannot be resold, except in the way the original copyright holder sees fit. This clearly goes against the verdict of the Bobbs-Merrill case and that of the Quality King case.

The secondary market is a fundamental business model and one that has been around since the beginning of trading.

How many items secondary items do you own? It is also the business model that allows libraries to lend books and for museums to display works of art. Libraries are already struggling over the rights of e-book; who owns the rights to e-book, how many can they lend and how? In an amicus brief filed by the Library Copyright Alliance they write that if “the Second Circuit’s ruling, is left to stand, it could strip libraries of their first-sale right to lend copies of not only books published abroad, but merely printed abroad.”

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The Respondent John Wiley plays these concerns down arguing that libraries and museums could avail themselves using “fair use” or “implied license.” Wiley also states that there is no evidence that US manufactures would move overseas to seek the so-called Holy Grail of manufacturing. A large portion of the respondent’s defense lays in the interpretation of the Supreme Courts dicta in Quality King v. L’anza.

Dicta is defined as the “opinions of a judge that do not embody the resolution or determination of the specific case before the court.

Expressions in a court’s opinion that go beyond the facts before the court and therefore are individual views of the author of the opinion and not binding in subsequent cases as legal precedent.”

Dicta for Quality King “The Supreme Court made the following two comments in dicta, which some courts have interpreted as favoring an interpretation that only copies of works that are made in the US are “lawfully made under this title” for purposes of Section 109(a) and therefore are subject to the first sale defense: In rejecting certain arguments regarding the scope of Section 602(a), the Supreme Court noted that Section 602(a) has a broader scope than Section 109(a) because it applies to copies that are neither piratical nor “lawfully made under this title”, which category includes copies “lawfully made” under another country’s laws.

change in wording -- which actually, there’s a real theory behind what the change in wording meant that has nothing to do with the place of manufacture, that we should read it as incorporating a place of manufacture requirement, because there was a separate debate going on in section 602 about that question.”

Mr. Olsen replies, “But the -- but the two pro -what I’m -- I guess what I’m trying to explain is that the two were enacted at the same time. They were out there and available to the public for 12 years before they were finally adopted. These parade of horribles could have been addressed by Congress in a different way at the time, and the interpretation -- this is a -- 109 is a defense -- is offered as a defense to section -- to section 602(a)(1).”

So what does it mean? What is the defense that’s provided? And you then have to interpret, “made under this” -- “lawfully made under this title.”

What does that mean?

And you have done that in the Quality King case. You explained in the Quality King unanimously that it makes a difference because you are exhausting --Congress intended to allow segmentation of the market. It only makes sense to interpret it this way if you allow segmentation of the market pursuant to these provisions, because it is exhausting the copyright under the laws of the United States once you make a sale of a product produced in the United States subject to the United States’ copyright laws.

You are not exhausting your US copyright when you make something, or allow something to be made abroad. You are not exhausting that copyright. You have not done that yet. So the first sale is not something that happens abroad that uses up the copyright laws -- of the protection under the copyright laws of the United States.

So it seems to me that this does make perfect sense.”

The Supreme Court also contemplated a scenario in which a copyright owner gave one party exclusive US distribution rights and another party exclusive British distribution rights. It noted that if the publisher of the British edition sold its copies in the American market, the first sale doctrine would not provide a defense against an action under Section 602(a).

Mr. Olson (lawyer for Wiley), views this dicta as an advantage because it leaves room for further debate over the definition of “lawfully made.” In reading the Supreme Court transcripts, the Justices seem to encourage Mr. Olson to avoid placing his battle on the words of dicta.

Justice Kagan asks Mr. Olson, “but you know, section 109 is just a rewording of a prior provision that you would clearly lose under, where the prior wording had nothing to do with where any product was manufactured. And what you’re suggesting is that we should read this 38

What is Mr. Olson saying? He is saying that the US copyright law applies overseas, as was found in the Quality King case but not so far as to extend to first sale. Meaning a US company can contract overseas for manufacturing and that overseas company can sell within the region designated by the US copyright holder however those sales on foreign soil do not count as the “first sale.” So under Mr. Olson’s interpretation the overseas manufacture would distribute to the region specified but never would that product be allowed to resell on US soil. Which brings us back to the question of exhaustion.

As the Justices question Rosenkranz (Kirtsaeng’s lawyer) on the topic of exhaustion there is a brief mention of the TRIPS and Berne Conventions. According to the World Trade Organization, “the TRIPS Agreement, which came into effect on 1 January 1995, is to date the most comprehensive multilateral agreement on intellectual property.”

In addition to the TRIPS agreement, the Berne Convention specifically covers literary and artistic works, “The Agreement sets these standards by requiring, first, that the substantive obligations of the main conventions of the WIPO, the Paris Convention for the Protection of Industrial Property (Paris Convention) and the Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works (Berne Convention) in their most recent versions, must be complied with.”

The Paris Convention was held in 1971 and with a few exceptions the Berne Convention has not been changed.

The reason why this is important is because in 1995 there were 125 nations in WTO and they agreed to disagree on the international copyright exhaustion issues. The decision was that each country would decide their system of exhaustion on their own.

Below is a portion of the Berne Convention. It states that the country that holds the copyright is the countries law that will be followed.

The Berne Convention states: Article 5 Rights Guaranteed: 1. and 2. Outside the country of origin; 3. In the country of origin; 4.

“Country of origin” (1) Authors shall enjoy, in respect of works for which they are protected under this Convention, in countries of the Union other than the country of origin, the rights which their respective laws do now or may hereafter grant to their nationals, as well as the rights specially granted by this Convention.

(2) The enjoyment and the exercise of these rights shall not be subject to any formality; such enjoyment and such exercise shall be independent of the existence of protection in the country of origin of the work. Consequently, apart from the provisions of this Convention, the extent of protection, as well as the means of redress afforded to the author to protect his rights, shall be governed exclusively by the laws of the country where protection is claimed.

(3) Protection in the country of origin is governed by domestic law. However, when the author is not a national of the country of origin of the work for which he is protected under this Convention, he shall enjoy in that country the same rights as national authors.

I have gone over the phrases in debate, the past cases affecting this case, the potential consequences of the Supreme Courts decision. I will now conclude with a question and answer segment from the Supreme Court transcripts that felt to me, to be the most explanatory of the issues at hand.

Justice Kagan asks, “And your position is essentially to say that when I sell my Chinese rights to somebody, I’m also selling my US rights to that same person, because the person who has the Chinese rights can just turn around and import the goods. I mean, that’s the nature of your position, isn’t it, that your US rights are always attached when you sell more -- your rights under the jurisdiction of another country?”

Rosenkranz answers: “Well -- so first, Your Honor, back in 1976, this notion of geographic division was very, very new, so it’s not at all clear what Congress was thinking with that -- with respect to that. But secondly, no, we’re not -- we’re not saying that when the owner sells his Chinese -- its Chinese rights to the Chinese company, it is selling all rights. Certainly, the Chinese company cannot sell everywhere, but after that first sale, all of the manufacturer’s rights are cut off.”

Later in the day the Justices are questioning Mr. Stewert, Deputy Solicitor General of behalf of John Wiley.

Justice Alito asks: “Which of the following is worse: All of the horribles that the Petitioner outlines to the extent they are realistic, or the frustration of market segmentation, to the extent that would occur, if Petitioner’s position were accepted?”

Mr. Stewart answers: “Well, if they actually happened, then I think the -- the horribles would be worse. But, as I say, we -- we feel that we have offered a reading of all the statutory provisions together that would avoid both.”

The reason why I find these two questions and answers so important is that one, Rosenkranz seems to understand that there is a distinct difference between importation and first sale (meaning that the 602 would not be superfluous) and second, Mr. Stewart understands that the potential consequences of this case are worse then the annoyance of market segmentation.

As Chief Justice Roberts states, this is a difficult maze to get through, I see the respondent John Wiley trying to employ a maximum advantage. If the phrase “lawfully made” is defined as the respondent says, specifically to works made in territories in which the Copyright Act is law, which they believe means made on US soil.

If that is true then the statements made in the TRIPS and Berne Conventions would carry no weight. The Berne Convention specifically states that products that originate in 39

another country are subject to the countries laws that hold copyright. Meaning to me that no matter the geographic territory, if the product is covered under the US Copyright Act then it is a product of the US and it must follow that law.

Which means they must follow the law of “first sale.” If the product is not “lawfully made” then it could not legally carry the US copyright symbol.

Simply because a product is manufactured overseas it does not mean that it should receive the special advantage of not adhering to the first sale doctrine. If a product is given the protection of US copyright then it is in logic a US product no matter where it was manufactured. If a company does not want to follow the statutes in the Copyright Act then copyright the products under the laws of the country the products are being manufactured in.

The respondent is suffering from the age-old desire to have your cake and eat it too.

They want the protection of US copyright minus the regulation that affects their bottom line.

As of the publication of this portfolio, the Supreme Court has not made a decision.

40

DESIGN WORK

Ooligan Classics Fiction | $9.95

The Church Cover This was the cover that the class voted on. The more time I spent with it though, the less I liked it. It seemed too dark and the church image too ornate.

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Margaret Deland

“If the time ever comes when you can love me, tell me so. I ask you this, Lois, because I cannot bear to distress you again by speaking words of love you do not want to hear, and yet I can’t help hoping; I shall always love you, but it shall be in silence. So if the day ever does come when you can love me, promise to tell me.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, glad to grant something. “But, Gifford, dear, it will never come. I must say that now.”

John Ward, Preacher

Ooligan Classics

I designed three covers for John Ward Preacher. I originally thought that the Broken Bride cover was my favorite but when the class voted for the Church cover, I decided to change directions. My final cover was the Rectory cover.

O O L I GA N C L A S S I C S

John Ward, Preacher Margaret Deland

Ooligan Classics

John Ward, Preacher

“If the time ever comes when you can love me, tell me so. I ask you this, Lois, because I cannot bear to distress you again by speaking words of love you do not want to hear, and yet I can’t help hoping; I shall always love you, but it shall be in silence. So if the day ever does come when you can love me, promise to tell me.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, glad to grant something.

“But, Gifford, dear, it will never come. I must say that now.”

Margaret Deland

Fiction | $9.95

Ooligan Classics

John Ward, Preacher Margaret Deland

The Broken Bride Cover I thought this one was going to be my favorite. I put hours of work into it. I pulled the frame, rosary, and bridal picture from Flickr. The broken glass and wood floor are Adobe Photoshop brushes. I learned a lot creating this cover but in the end I didn’t feel like it properly represented the story.

43

John Ward, Preacher Ooligan Classics

Margaret Deland

ooligan classics

Fiction | $9.95

The Soft Cover I originally thought that I would use these flower images for the interior, but I loved the color and wanted them on the cover instead. The opening scene takes place in a garden and flowers play a large role in the story. I loved the layering of pastels and decided to do a softer more feminine cover.

44

Fiction | $9.95

“If the time ever comes when you can love me, tell me so. I ask you this, Lois, because I cannot bear to distress you again by speaking words of love you do not want to hear, and yet I can’t help hoping; I shall always love you, but it shall be in silence. So if the day ever does come when you can love me, promise to tell me.”

“Oh, yes,” she said, glad to grant something.

“But, Gifford, dear, it will never come. I must say that now.”

Margaret Deland

ooligan classics

John Ward Preacher

The Rectory Cover

John Ward, Preacher Margaret Deland

The final cover. The Derry Public Library provided the picture of the rectory and Anne of Green Gables inspired the multicolored spine. I loved this cover, I thought it was a perfect representation of the story.

45

Ooligan Classics

Interior John Ward, Preacher

CHAPTER I.

The evening before Helen Jeffrey’s wedding day, the whole household at the rectory came out into the garden.

“The fact is,” said Dr. Howe, smiling good-naturedly at his niece, “the importance of this occasion has made everybody so full of suppressed excitement one can’t breathe in the house.”

And indeed a wedding in Ashurst had all the charm of novelty.

“Why, bless my soul,” said the rector. “Let me see; it must be ten— no, twelve years since Mary Drayton was married, and that was our last wedding. Well, we couldn’t stand such dissipation oftener; it would wake us up.”

But Ashurst rather prided itself upon being half asleep. The rush and life of newer places had a certain vulgarity; haste was undignified, almost ill-bred. The most striking thing about the village, resting at the feet of low green hills, was its atmosphere of leisure and repose.

1

46

Its grassy road was nearly two miles long, so that Ashurst seemed to cover a great deal of ground, though there were really very few houses. A lane, leading to the rectory, curled about the foot of East Hill at one end of the road, and at the other was the brick-walled garden of the Misses Woodhouse.

Between these extremes the village had slowly grown; but its first youth was so far past, no one quite remembered it. Even the trying stage of middle age was over, and its days of growth were ended. This was perhaps because of its distance from the county town, for Mercer was twelve miles away, and there was no prospect of a railroad to unite them. It had been talked of once; some of the shopkeepers, as well as Mr. Lash, the carpenter, advocated it strenuously at Bulcher’s grocery store in the evenings, because, they said, they were at the mercy of Phibbs, the package man, who brought their wares on his slow, creaking cart over the dusty turnpike from Mercer. But others, looking into the future, objected to a convenience that might result in a diminution of what little trade they had. However, among the families who did not have to consider “trade,” there was great unanimity—though the Draytons murmured something about the increased value of the land possibly not so much with a view to the welfare of Ashurst, as because their property extended along the proposed line of the road.

The rector was very firm in his opinion. “Why,” said he, mopping his forehead with his big silk handkerchief, “what do we want with a railroad? My grandfather never thought of such a thing, so I think I can get along without it, and it is a great deal better for the village not to have it.”

It would have cut off one corner of his barn; and though this could not have interfered with the material or spiritual welfare of Ashurst, Dr. Howe’s opinion never wavered. And the rector but expressed the feelings of the other “families,” so that all Ashurst was conscious of relief when the projectors of the railroad went no further than to make a cut at one end of the Drayton pastures; that was so long ago that now the earth, which had shown a ragged

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47

Middle Grade Cover The Hidden Heir I designed this cover to accompany the Arthurian Legend developmental edit. The imagined the cover as a holograph image, with the children’s images coming through the knights as the book is picked up and turned in the light.

The exact images of the children should be younger, between 10 and 12, for a middle grade book but the options were limited.

48

by K.J. Klockteger

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The Hidden Heir

K.J. Klockenteger

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Speaking Out Women, War and the Global Economy

Speaking Out Textbook Cover

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Speaking Out: Women, War and the Global Economy

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In the advanced design class we redesigned an old Ooligan title, Speaking Out. This was different than any of the other design work I had done because it was a textbook. This is the cover and sample interior of Speaking Out.

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Jan Haaken, Ariel ladum, Seiza de Tarr, Kayt Zundel, Caleb Heymann 49

Interior Speaking Out

Handout Lesson One

Jariatu Sesay and Fatima Jarieu Bona: Retrospective Jariatu Sesay grew up in Freetown, Sierra Leone. As the eldest daughter in a large family, from an early age, she helped to put food on the table. Sesay arrived in the United States as a refugee in the early 1990s, where she became a mobilizing voice for peace, human rights, and women’s empowerment. During her country’s terrible civil war she carried out this political work while putting her university education on hold. She produced videos and radio interviews calling for the international community to “open the blinds” and see what was happening in Sierra Leone. She was a founding member of the Sierra Leone Women’s Movement for Peace, New Jersey branch in the United States. As a member of the African community in New Jersey, Sesay meets with other U.S.-based survivors of the war to help these families learn the skills they need to go from crisis to recovery. She also is pursuing a Masters in Conflict Analysis and Resolution, which she plans to use to prevent future violence in the world.

Fatima Jarieu Bona was born in Freetown, Sierra Leone, in 1954. She attended the Freetown Secondary School for Girls and the Saint Helena School. After immigrating to the United States in 1980, Bona received her B.A. in Sociology from Edison College in Trenton, New Jersey. She worked for a number of charity organizations and served as the customer coordinator for Associated Press. A dedicated wife, mother, and community peace activist, she is currently Chairperson for the Sierra Leonean Women’s Movement for Peace, Member of the African Women’s Charity Organization and Social Secretary for the Sierra Leone American National Association. Bona’s greatest aspiration has been to help people.

Sesay: Now that we have cessation of hostilities, the dust has settled down for us to take a closer look at our civil war. There were many factors, other than economic reasons, igniting and encouraging our conflict. Therefore, we will have to explore different avenues to pursue peace and resolve our conflict. Cessation of hostilities does not signify the end to our war, nor does the influx of foreign aid ease our economic burden.

Section Four

Haaken: When I interviewed you for our documentary film in 1999, both of you emphasized the importance of economic factors, such as the international diamond trade and arms dealing, in understanding causes of the civil war. Now that the country is engaged in rebuilding and reconciliation, how do these same economic factors—both national and international—play a role?

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50

Handout Lesson One

Section Four

It is sad to say that we are still considered one of the poorest countries in the world, even though we have diamonds, gold, bauxite, and a very fertile land.

We are still going through rampant inflation, currency devaluation, budget deficits, corruption, and declining exports—which is creating fuel, power, and food shortages as I respond to this interview. Youth unemployment Jariatu Sesay and Fatima Jarieu Bona: Retrospective is still growing, as well as student radicalism. This is exactly what led to our civil war, and there is no effort from the current government to change the situation. If nothing is done soon, we may face a second conflict, which will be worse than the one we just had.

Bona: With economic stability, comes stable community. Now that the guns are silent, the focus should be on the economic development of the country. On the local level the government should try very hard for the eradication of corruption, which seems to be ingrained in the society. In turn our government would earn the respect and trust of international bodies, which will lead to their participation in our economic development. Without these efforts, the process of attaining total peace will be easier for violators to undermine.

Haaken: Jariatu and Fatima, you also have worked together for many years to bring women’s voices into discussions about war and reconciliation.

The Sierra Leone Women’s Movement for Peace was a vital forum for Sierra Leonean women in exile who needed to speak out. How do you see the situation of women in Sierra Leone today, after the truth and reconciliation process?

Sesay: The conflict in Sierra Leone highlights the unique role of women during and after our conflict. Women served as sex slaves and human shields for the Revolutionary United Front (RUF) fighters, and those women who were attached to RUF fighters also protected some of the girls who were abducted into the fighting forces.

Fatima Jarieu Bona

In a country like Sierra Leone where there is still a conflict brewing, women’s

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51

Handout Lesson One

peacebuilding strategies at both local and international levels will continue to play a key role in the future peace and security of Sierra Leone. It was the women who were willing to welcome the child soldiers into their midst in spite of the havoc these kids had wreaked on them. One of the advantages we have as women in Sierra Leone today is the influx of nongovernmental organizations (NGOs), such as the Marie Stopes Society, that cater to the needs of women. We have always been the backbone of the country’s economy.

But if you go to Sierra Leone today, there is a “role reversal syndrome” affecting a majority of our households. The majority of women are the breadwinner as well as the head of the household today.

women and youth. We have women in leading roles today in Sierra Leone, but we could increase the number both locally and internationally.

Haaken: Can you say something about your families in Sierra Leone and how they have been changed by the war?

Sesay: I lost my father and several uncles during the war. Our family will never be the same again, but, like everybody else in the country, we have no choice but to move on.

On the other hand, it has been an economic burden on my sister and I to send money to our family back home.

I had to put my education on hold for a while to make sure they were taken

Section Four

Bona: It is obvious that during the conflict in Sierra Leone, women suffered the brunt of it all. They endured the deaths of their children, husbands, and other loved ones, and were victims of rape and other atrocities. Left to pick up the pieces despite their own sufferings, women were forced to take charge and accept responsibilities beyond their wildest expectations. They have now become a force to reckon with. Women’s organizations like the Women’s Movement for Peace, NGOs, and other women’s groups played important roles in bringing peace to Sierra Leone and are still fighting for peace, especially in addressing health care and economic opportunities for

Jariatu Sesay

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52

OOLIGAN PRESS ACQUISITION MANAGER PROJECT MANAGER

Acquisition Manager When I began managing the Acquisition’s Department we were working to find an author to write a sequel to The Portland Red Guide. We had just received a response from our first pick declining the opportunity. I decided that we might have better luck if we widened our net. We drafted a letter asking for either writers or contacts and sent them to all the universities and historical societies in Washington State. The majority of nonfiction authors prefer to have an advance, because writing a nonfiction book can require a large amount of time. Ooligan isn’t capable of providing an advance and therefore ran into trouble trying to find an author. We decided in the end, that our time was better spent elsewhere. We did eventually get a response from two professors that are working together to create a similar book about eastern Washington. If their work becomes a completed manuscript and Ooligan is interested, we would love to have it. However, in the meantime we focused our efforts on finding great incoming manuscripts.

We did find two amazing manuscripts and I was part of the pitches for both new titles, Up Nights and Untitled War Memoir. As part of each pitch we provide a profit and loss statement for the press. Up Nights was pitched as a print on demand title and required a new type of profit and loss statement, based on Ooligan’s contract with Lighting Source. Ooligan did not have a working model and I created an Excel spreadsheet for future use in the press.

54

Red Guide Letter

Dear [Department Head, Agency Director, etc.], I am writing to you on behalf of Ooligan Press, a student-run, non-profit general trade press. Ooligan Press is independently run by the graduate students of Portland State University’s English department. We are looking for possible authors to write the second book in our Red Guide series, a city-specific guide to the history of social dissent.

Ooligan Press acquired the Red Guide series in 2009. Michael Munk, a Portland historian and activist wrote our first book in the series Portland Red Guide. This historical book guides readers to the uncelebrated sites of protests, speeches, and acts of dissidence and debate. The stories honor those who were dedicated to supporting the working class and who stood up to oppression and injustice. The Red Guide series aims to challenge traditional history and bring to light the role of past and present working-class citizens as the bearers of progress and reform.

If you have any interest in this project or know of anyone who might be, we would appreciate your recommendations. We are looking for people with a specific area of expertise in Seattle’s rich history of acting, organizing, and resisting in the name of justice and liberty.

If you could, please contact the Acquisitions Department with your thoughts and/or possible referrals. Your input is appreciated.

Sincerely, Laura Larrabee Acquisitions Manager Ooligan Press Acquisitions@ooliganpress.pdx.edu

Acquisitions 369 Neuberger Hall 724 SW Harrison Street Portland, OR 97201

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Lighting Source Profit and Loss

The fixed cost include the setup fee’s, marketing cost and the author’s free copies. There are two options for author’s free copies because Ooligan gets a discount for larger print runs, see Cost of Production with Multi Print Discount.

Lighting Source Print on Demand 2012 Format Codes Small paperback 48-104 pp

1

Small paperback 104+ pp Large Paperback 48-104 pp Large Paperback 104+ pp Small Hardcover 108+pp Small Hardcover w/jacket 108+pp Large Hardcover 108+ pp

2 3 4 5 6 7

Setup Codes Digital Cover, Digital text Digital Cover, Scan text Scan Cover, Digital text Scan cover, Scan Text

1 2 3 4

Setup Code (We always use one unless otherwise instructed) Format Code Page Count Print Cost Fixed Costs ISBN Proof File Setup Cost Marketing Cost Free Books or Author Copy if 49 or less Free Books or Author Copy if 50 or more Total Fixed Cost Variable Cost Print Cost discount Royalties Returns Distribution Multiple Print Run in 50 or more Print Cost plus Variable Cost Total Cost

1 4 160 $2.24

0 0

40% 8% $ 10% $ 19% $ 0

$12 $30 $75 $0 $0.00 $0.00 $117.00 $2.24 $3.98 0.80 0.60 1.89 $0.00 $9.50 $126.50

The variable cost include our cost to print, the author’s royalties, the discount given to our distributors and the estimated percentage of returns. The green highlighted amounts may change with each annual contract. The fixed plus the variable provides the total cost to print.

56

=IF(C19=1,2.3,IF(C19=2,(0.9+(C20-108)*0.013),IF(C19=3,3.24,IF(C19=4,(1.3+(C20-108)*0.018),IF(C19=5,6+(C20-1

The cost of a multi print run is only activated if the multiple print run cells in either the fixed or variable costs is filled in. The multiple print run then changes from false to true and the new discounted costs change in the effected cells.

Cost of Production With Multi Print Discount Discount for Multiple Print Run Between 50-99 books Between 100-249 books Between 250-499 500+ Units

percentage amount 5.00% 10.00% 20.00% 25.00%

Multiple Print Run

FALSE

Books Sold List Price Price after discount List Price-Print cost-variable cost=Net Profit per book List Price Royalty per book Returns Distribution Discount Print cost Total Variable Cost Net per Book

Gross Sales Net per Unit Net Sales Break Even Units

$0.11 $0.22 $0.45 $0.56

$ $

8% 10% 19% 40%

$ $ $ $ $ $ $

$ $ $

unit cost with discount $2.12 $2.01 $1.79 $1.68 FALSE

1 9.95 5.97 9.95 0.80 0.60 1.89 3.98 $2.24 9.50 0.45

9.95 0.45 (116.55) 260

This is the Ingram Print on Demand Profit and Loss worksheet, based on Ooligan's 2011/2012 contract. The yellow can be changed, this will tell you the break even point and the profit or loss of the book. The green may change with new contracts, DO NOT change unless instructed.

108)*0.013,IF(C19=6,7.55+(C20-108)*0.013,IF(C19=7,6+(C20-108)*0.018,��)))))))

Ooligan has a list price for each of its titles, however we give a discount to our distributors.

The price after discount is the number used to quantify the net per book.

This particular title will break even at 260 units. The net sales is a negative number because the books sold cell is set at 1. If that cell is changed to 260 then the net sales cell will equal 0.

This formula gives the price for every different size and type of book. This provides the initial print cost.

57

PROJECT MANAGEMENT

THE WILLIAM STAFFORD PROJECT

The William Stafford Project

60

THE IDEA Because I was Acquisitions Manager at the time, Abbey passed this letter on to me. I thought it would be a great idea to format an Oregon high school writing competition. The winning students' poems and essays will be published by year-end 2013 to coincide with the 2014 yearlong celebration of William Stafford’s birthday. Ooligan would work with The William Stafford Archives at Lewis and Clark College to help choose appropriate poems. The Archives had previously worked with Oregon teachers to create lesson plans for high school and middle school classrooms. The Archives was nice enough to allow Ooligan the use of those lesson plans.

At this point I got an amazing co-manager, Rachel Pass, she is a teacher and a student in the program. She personally knew the teachers who had written the lesson plans for The Stafford Archives. Rachel contacted those teachers and they rewrote portions of their lesson plans to coordinate with the poems Ooligan had permissions for.

The next step was to compile a packet with the rules and guidelines, poems, and lesson plans to be available for all Oregon teachers who were interested. We had decided relatively early on to widen the age range from high school age to seventh through twelfth graders. We were also working on finding a way to contact all of the teachers we could. This ended up being a very time consuming and tedious process but we ended up personally contacting over 700 teachers. We launched the competition at the Council of Oregon English Teachers conference in August and the competition went live on the Ooligan site in October.

Below is a portion of the packet I designed, I have left out William Stafford’s poems and the lesson plans.

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Teacher Packet Dear Teachers, In honor of William Stafford’s centennial birthday, Ooligan Press has organized a statewide writing competition for seventh through twelfth-graders. We are launching the competition in October 2012 and will collect submissions throughout the year. We aim to publish the students’ work by January of 2014 to coincide with the yearlong celebration of William Stafford’s birth.

We at Ooligan are excited and pleased to be able to provide this opportunity for Oregon students. We believe that the beauty, grace, and substance of Stafford’s poetry will speak to the students, and that the opportunity to be published will stimulate them to write.

William Stafford (1914–1993) was one of the most prolific and important American poets of the last half of the twentieth century. Among his many credentials, Stafford served as a consultant in poetry at the Library of Congress, and received the National Book Award for his poetry collection Traveling through the Dark (1963). During his lifetime, Stafford wrote over sixty books of poetry that still resonate with scholars and general readers. Stafford’s perspectives on peace, the environment, and education serve as some of the most articulate and engaging dialogues by a modern American writer about three of the most important issues of the second half of the twentieth century (williamstaffordarchives.org).

Ooligan Press is a teaching press dedicated to the art and craft of publishing. Affiliated with Portland State University, the press is staffed by students pursuing master’s degrees in an apprenticeship program under the guidance of a core faculty of publishing professionals.

We are a general trade publisher rooted in the rich literary tradition of the Pacific Northwest. A region widely recognized for its unique and innovative sensibilities, this small corner of America is one of the most diverse in the United States, comprising urban centers, small towns, and wilderness areas. Its residents range from ranchers, loggers, and small business owners to scientists, inventors, and corporate executives. From this wealth of culture, Ooligan Press aspires to discover works that reflect the values and attitudes that inspire so many to call the Northwest their home.

We are looking forward to this project and hope you will join us. If you have any questions, please contact wsproject@ooliganpress.pdx.edu Sincerely, Ooligan Press

369 Neuberger Hall 724 SW Harrison Street Portland, Oregon 97201 Phone: 503.725.9748 Fax: 503.725.3561 http://ooligan.pdx.edu/poetry/william-stafford-project/

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Packet Contents 1.

Lesson plans

2.

Poems and essay

3.

Permissions/consent for publication form

4.

Contact form

5.

Mailing Checklist

Competition and Submission Requirements Ooligan has provided sixteen poems and one essay for use in this competition. Because of the legalities in obtaining poem permissions, we can only publish student work inspired by the sixteen poems and one essay included in this packet.

We have also provided three teaching plans; however, please feel free to use your own lesson plans or prompts. The lesson plans provided correlate directly to the included poems and have been generously provided to us by the William Stafford Archives, Erin Ocón, Stacy Erickson, Robin Scialabba.

1.

Students must be currently enrolled in seventh through twelfth grade.

2.

Students must use their own writing.

3.

Works must be inspired by the poems and/or essay provided.

4.

Each teacher may send up to ten submissions, but no more than one submission from any individual student.

5.

Teachers must provide a permissions form, signed by the student and their legal guardian, for each piece of writing.

6.

Teachers must send in a completed submissions packet (please include all students’ work in one packet) to be eligible. A checklist is provided with this packet.

Deadlines There are two deadlines for submission. All submissions must be mailed, and must include both a hard copy and a compact disc with the students’ work, to ensure each student has given the appropriate permissions. Teachers who are submitting multiple student entries may send one disc with all included submissions.

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Winter deadline: Received by January 31, 2012

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Spring Deadline: Received by April 31, 2013

We will respond to each student with an acceptance or rejection letter within three months of their submission.

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Contact Information County District School School Address Room Number

Student Name Grade currently enrolled in Student Phone Number (optional) Student email address

Teacher Name Teacher Phone Number (optional) Teacher email address This information is private and will be used for contact only by Ooligan Press.

I would like to continue to receive updates on this project.

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Permission/Consent for Publication Student Name Parent or Guardian Name I hereby authorize Ooligan Press use the following original—written or created entirely by me—work(s): story or essay titled poem titled artwork titled photograph of me If the students or teaching staff would like to include pictures of themselves or the students please identify the name of the student(s) and staff from left-right.

In the publication tentatively titled William Stafford Project and in materials related to its design, production, and marketing. Also, the work or photographs may be published and republished, either separately or in connection with each other, in materials developed by Ooligan Press. I certify that this is my original work and understand that the copyright of the work resides with me.

I prefer not to be identified by full (first and last) name.

Use instead Date Student Signature Consent on behalf of a minor: [I] [we] certify that [I am] [we are] the parent[s] or person[s] legally appointed the guardian[s] of the above signator of this instrument, a minor person, and that [I] [we] also hereby give the consents and make the authorization detailed above.

I prefer the minor not to be identified by full (first and last) name.

Use instead Date Signature(s)

(Parent or Guardian)

(Parent or Guardian)

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Teacher Checklist for Submissions Before mailing: Do you have these things?

Permissions form for each student Typed submissions in word format Disc with students work in word format Contact information for teacher and student

Are pictures included?

Yes-format in jpeg on a disc and include identification of all persons in photograph in a caption or Word document Make sure all students included in the photograph have checked the “photograph of me” portion of the permissions √

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THE END THE BEGINNING

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I made it! I am this close to finishing my masters degree. I am proud, excited, and a little sad. This program and Ooligan has given me a purpose and fulfilled a hole in my life. Saying that the program has not let me down may seem like a small thing, but anyone who has jumped headlong into something that sounds to good to be true, knows that being let down is pretty much par for the course. This program has provided me everything I thought it would and a lot of things I never knew it would.

I knew when I started that two years would fly by and they have, faster than I even imagined. Every once in a while a person stumbles into something they didn't even know they needed, that is how I feel about this program. Thank you Ooligan, my fellow students, and my teachers and especially Abbey for being more than an advisor and sticking with the program with what had to be an inhuman work load.

I am currently interning at Beyond Words as the Acquisitions Assistant Editor and the experience is amazing. I am doing everything that I hoped I would be doing when I first googled, “careers for people who love to read.�

As my time here draws to close, I fluctuate between exuberant hope and fear for the future. In between those times, when I am in the balance, I know I will have successes and failures. I know that the best I can do is good enough and that the juggling act is the best part of this show called life.

k or W

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February 3, 2013