ABUNDANCE 9
Pia Hautea Francisco
O
ut of all the uses for my hands, its adhesiveness to technology really has to be the most prominent. The only time you would probably see me without my phone is when I’m asleep, with the pillow a triple stack sandwich-thick division between us. Otherwise on regular waking days, you would never see my hands empty of it. Track me down in the elevator, in crowded walkways, in class, in family reunions, on the trip ride home—practically anywhere. It was never my intention until my sister began getting pestered by me every time I ask her to switch her Hotspot mode on so I could hook my phone up whenever I forget to pay my bills. Soon even some of my friends would notice, asking me repeatedly about the offhand minutes I would just space out and forget about the world that I’m in while I’m on my phone. But one evening while my friend and I were binge-watching a bunch of Netflix shows, we stumbled upon this one documentary series called “The Mind, Explained” by Vox. On its third episode “Anxiety”, social media was identified as a culprit on why people nowadays seem to be more anxious. Being exposed to the seemingly-flawless lives of other people can become a suffocating coercion to “fit in”. “You’re scrolling through your Instagram feed and you see everyone else’s wonderful, amazing life,” said Dr. Ali Mattu, a psychologist in the episode. If you are someone who’s vulnerable to experiencing anxiety, the tendency is for you to experience it all the more in that situation; leading you to overthink the pictures, clips or Boomerangs on your screen. “A lot of social media is designed to hold your attention, and anxiety is a powerful way to do that.” People who spend more time on social media tend to feel more isolated, making the symptoms of anxiety worse. A research from the University of Pittsburgh sought a correlation between the time spent scrolling through all of social media and its negative body image feedback. Those who had spent more time on social media had 2.2 times the risk of developing eating disorders and body
image concerns, compared to their peers or colleagues who had spent less time on social media. The participants who spent the most time on social media had 2.6 times the risk. But the episode also said that the takeaway remains a foggy vision. “Are anxious, lonely people just more drawn to screens? Or is social media really driving an increase in anxiety?” But that one episode made no difference with the relationship I had with my phone. Tap by tap, the thought about trying to gradually ditch the habitual hour-long staring contests with my screen would just be at the back of my mind. Looking up multiple numbered-day detox challenges seemed thrilling initially but to no avail. It just never worked for me.
“But as the years went by, the constant struggle to tap on something, to update the feeds of people you don’t even say hi to in public was exhausting. Going online appeared to be a source of validation for me.” The roots in which my keenness for social media can be traced to my desktop version of Tamagotchi: Pet Society. I invested my whole nineyear old life logging on to Facebook everyday, pampering and keeping my yellow-furred pet Zoe alive. I even watched tutorials on how to get my pet richer and have those golden mystery boxes for free. At that time, it merely seemed like an innocent hobby. From being a devoted virtual pet mom, I signed up for what would then be my online diary. It honed my rough writing and it became the boulevard to meeting friends from other parts of the world who shared the same yearning for a personal creative space in the internet. After I left my platform, I turned to Pinterest instead. It’s been my go-
to for anything of my perusal that I thoroughly enjoyed: other people’s fashion mood boards, potato recipes, skincare routines or ‘90s pop culture. But as the years went by, the constant struggle to tap on something, to update the feeds of people you don’t even say hi to in public was exhausting. Going online appeared to be a source of validation. Research says that tech users both hailing from the younger and older crowd are in danger of breaking under the pressure of unachievable standards of beauty and success, which are often inherent with how social networking websites are wired. A study found that among children aged 10 who are glued to the Internet, social media accounts “could have [a negative] impact on wellbeing later in adolescence and perhaps throughout adulthood.” It made me skip dinners and after school dialogues with my mother seemed impossible to finish, more so to start. The actual act of holding my phone up against my chest and a few inches from my face got in the way of my life. Even now, a simple visit to Twitter can turn into two hours of endless and mindless browsing. Checking Facebook may only take a few minutes, but if you check several times an hour, that adds up to a lot of wasted time. What if we actually took a real break from it? If I had only done that sooner, I would have probably learned many other things I’m still clueless about right now. I would have known how to paint or play the piano. I would have taught my dog new tricks. On behalf of others who are attached to their phones, I think it is clear that there really is an underlying concern beneath this habit. We never stop even when we say we will. Putting a halt to my social media usage isn’t exactly the solution because I still need it. It is my go-to in our digitally-climatized campus and as early as now, I can already tell that it might be identical with my future bustles post graduation. I will always need it. But at the same time, I am also seeking to be able to find the balance between the life I’ve made through my phone and laptop screens and the world I actually live and breathe in.
