RS - February 2019 by Lawrence Ambrocio

TIPS FOR FRESH SKIN, BRIGHT EYES

LIFE MADE EASIER

Wake Up With More Energy EAT BETTER, SLEEP LONGER & FEEL HAPPIER Find More Time for You Delicious Meals in 15 Minutes Clever Ways to Lower Your Costs

FEBRUARY 2019

BLAZE NEW TRAILS INTRODUCING THE FIRST-EVER LEXUS UX We no longer travel great distances in the name of exploration. Today, our frontier is all around us. For those seeking this new frontier, the ﬁrst-ever Lexus UX is a new frontier for crossovers. Crafted purposefully for the city. To nimbly handle corners with a best-in-class 17.1-ft turning radius.1 To easily navigate cluttered roads with Apple CarPlay ®2 while connected to your iPhone.®3 And to inspire a sense of freedom with a class-leading estimated 33 MPG.1,4 Introducing the Lexus UX and UX Hybrid AWD,5 both available as F SPORT models. Crafted for those who believe there is always something new to explore. lexus.com/UX | #LexusUX

UX 200

Options shown. 1. 2019 UX vs. 2018/2019 competitors. Information from manufacturers’ websites as of 9/17/2018. 2. Apple CarPlay is a trademark of Apple Inc. All rights reserved. Always drive safely and obey traffic laws. Apps, prices and services vary by phone carrier and are subject to change at any time without notice. Subject to smartphone connectivity and capability. Data charges may apply. Apple CarPlay® functionality requires a compatible iPhone® tethered with an approved data cable into the USB media port. 3. iPhone is a registered trademark of Apple Inc. All rights reserved. 4. 2019 Lexus UX 200 EPA 29/city, 37/hwy, 33/comb MPG estimates. Actual mileage will vary. 5. UX AWD system operates at speeds up to 43 mph. ©2018 Lexus.

UX 250h F SPORT AWD5

Thoughts

“Maybe life doesn’t get any better than this, or any worse, and what we get is just what we’re willing to find: small wonders, where they grow.” STO C K SY

— B A R B A R A K I N G S O LV E R , S m a l l Wo n d e r

2 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

P h o t o g r a p h b y J a v i e r Pa r d i n a

Erase. Correct. Brighten.

INSTANT AGE REWIND

ERASER

Erase the look of dark circles.

*Based in part on data reported by Nielsen through its Scantrack Service for the Concealer category for the 52-week period ending July 21, 2018, for the US xAOC market according to Maybelline’s custom product hierarchy. © 2018, The Nielsen Company.

Correct the appearance of redness.

Brighten the look of dull skin.

E d i t o r ’s N o t e

R E M E M B E R Y E A R S AG O, when I lived in a pretty little apartment by myself, talking on the phone with a friend a few states away. “Wait, where are you?” she asked. “In the tub,” I admitted. My friend was a married working mother of two who had little time for herself. “You get to take a bath in the middle of the day uninterrupted?! I can’t remember the last time I could do that!” she intoned. “You’re so lucky you get to be alone.” And I did tell myself I was lucky—I was a single freelance writer with my own apartment, and I had so much freedom. Freedom to go to a matinee or a museum. Freedom to feel…a little lonely at times. It felt good to be out doing things, but I wanted someone else to do them with. I’m reﬂecting on those days because our story on page 112, “Find More Alone Time (Without Being Lonely),” explains that spending some dedicated time away from people (and also your phone) can make you feel more content and think with more clarity. If I had reframed my thinking around alone time back then—“I get to relax at this movie all alone” rather than “I don’t have anyone to go to this movie with”—I might have felt more rejuvenated by my own company. For some of us, taking time for yourself comes with twinges of guilt. There’s so much to do! There’s so much that others need from you! But we’re not talking about a six-month solo journey around the globe. Taking even just 30 minutes to calm your mind can have great beneﬁts—for you and for those loved ones you’re spending a bit of time away from.

Follow me on Twitter @lyazel and Instagram @leslieyazel

4 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Photograph by Remi Pyrdol

WA R D R O B E S T Y L I N G B Y A L LY S S A D I N E E N ; H A I R A N D M A K E U P B Y S U M M E R T R A N

Food for Good Looking for a simple way to make a smart choice for yourself, your family, and the planet? Cascadian Farm creates wholesome organic food that doesn’t just “do” good, it tastes amazing—so you can feel good about eating well.

PEA CRISPS NOT ONLY do pea protein crisps add a satisfying crunch, they make it easier for you to get your daily dose of protein. Pea crops give a boost to farms, adding depleted nutrients back to soil.

WHOLE GRAIN OATS OATS are a delicious source of whole grains, and they’re full of benefits that do double duty for you and the earth. Oat crops help keep soil intact, so it’s less likely to flow into rivers and streams we rely on for drinking water.

ALMONDS & PEANUTS FIBER-RICH NUTS help you stay focused on all of life’s tasks. As a bonus, bees gain nutritional value from the nuts’ pollen and nectar, while also making orchards and crops more productive.

RAISINS & CRANBERRIES DRIED FRUIT is loaded with fiber that helps keep you feeling full longer, so you can accomplish everything on your to-do list. Plus, fruit crops help support the dwindling native bee population that nature depends on for pollination.

VISIT CASCADIANFARM.COM

Contents February 2019

O N T H E C OV E R

FOR SIMIL AR: Blush Element soup

plates, $40 for 4, salad plates, $28 for 4, and shallow bowls, $20 for 4 (5 in.); worldmarket.com. Twentypiece rush gold flat ware set, $90; cb2.com. Festival napkins in petal, $57 for 4; sferra.com.

Wake Up with More Energy

14, 69

Find More Time for You

112

Delicious Meals in 15 Minutes

Clever Ways to Lower Your Costs

Tips for Fresh Skin, Bright Eyes

92 Decorate your home to bring you joy

106

112

Never look tired (even if you are)

Learn to love alone time

Turn up the heat in the kitchen

C o v e r P h o t o g r a p h b y Te d + C h e l s e a C a v a n a u g h Prop St yling by Chloe Daley

Food St yling by Sue Li

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Contents

120

Your guide to flourishing indoor plants

Portable perfume

Weeknight meals (pasta night!)

Thoughts

the realist

Editor ’s Note

A Soothing Recipe for Cold and Flu Season

Real Simple 24 /7

The Short List

Your Words

what we love At-Home Spa The Staple Graham crackers

17 20

Little Helpers Clever items that make every day better 22 Pretty Smart Beauty buys to save your sanity

Room Rx Bobby Berk suggests design hacks to detract from that bathroom 26 tile you hate

Cooking School Prep a baking pan Now What?!? Solutions for life’s mini disasters Real Simplifier Get your cloud storage in order Organize This Streamline your shower space

Personal Shopper Heidi Klum styles you for date night

relating 30

How Not to Kill Your Indoor Plants: A Guide Cure a black thumb 36 Drugstore Insider Shop the aisles with a top dermatologist 40 Road Test Nighttime treats

balance

Your New Go-Tos Some ideas to upgrade 45 your undies

5 Ways to Make Someone’s Day Maybe yours too

Good Read Vanessa Hua on moving 55 in with Mom Modern Manners Catherine Newman offers advice Pet Tricks Improve pets’ sleep (and yours)

Why You Should Treat Your Family Like Strangers Practice patience with 64 the ones you love

Wake Up! A three-step plan for feeling more energetic— all day, every day 69 How to Share the Cost of Almost Anything Use a co-op to save time and money 75 Making It Work How do you make time for your significant other?

Find More Alone Time (Without Being Lonely) You need solo time, so let’s make it feel 112 less awkward

food 5 Easy Dinners

120

Big Batch Chicken noodle soup

125

Road Test Oatmeal cups

126

Make It Yourself Energy bars

128

Ask for (and Get) a Flexible Schedule Set your own hours 87 Ahhh Take a breather

Fresh Face Forward Revive your skin with a few changes to your 106 morning routine

features A Home That Makes You Smile Decorating tweaks proven to spark joy 92 Bring the Heat Nine spicy recipes you can make in a hot second

for fun Dispatches from the Break Room Fridge

132

REAL SIMPLE (ISSN 1528-1701) (FEBRUARY 2019) (VOLUME 20/ISSUE 2) IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY TIME INC., A WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF MEREDITH CORPORATION. PRINCIPAL OFFICE: 225 LIBERTY ST., NEW YORK, NY 10281-1008. PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, NY, AND ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. POSTMASTER: SEND ALL UAA TO CFS (SEE DMM 507.1.5.2); NONPOSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: SEND ADDRESS CORRECTIONS TO REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE, PO BOX 37508, BOONE, IA 50037-0508. CANADA POST PUBLICATIONS MAIL AGREEMENT #40069223. BN# 13200211RT001. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. CUSTOMER SERVICE AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: FOR 24/7 SERVICE, PLEASE USE OUR WEBSITE: REALSIMPLE.COM/MYACCOUNT. YOU CAN ALSO CALL 1-800-881-1172 OR WRITE REAL SIMPLE, PO BOX 37508, BOONE, IA 50037-0508. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. YOUR BANK MAY PROVIDE UPDATES TO THE CARD INFORMATION WE HAVE ON FILE. YOU MAY OPT OUT OF THIS SERVICE AT ANY TIME.

8 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

A banking experience you’ll actually enjoy. Surprising, right? ĕĝĤěħĥĝ Ĭħ āęĨġĬęĤ čĦĝ āęĞ ī ġĦĮġĬġĦğ ĨĤęěĝī įġĬĠ ĨĝħĨĤĝ ĠĝĪĝ Ĭħ ĠĝĤĨ ıħĭ ĦħĬ īĝĤĤ ıħĭ đĬħĨ Ěı ę ĤħěęĬġħĦ Ĭħ ĠęĦĜĤĝ ıħĭĪ ĝĮĝĪıĜęı ĚęĦģġĦğ ĦĝĝĜī ħĪ ğħ ħĦĤġĦĝ Ĭħ ĤĝęĪĦ ĥħĪĝ Welcome to Banking Reimagined.®

čǉĝĪĝĜ Ěı āęĨġĬęĤ čĦĝ Č ÿ ċĝĥĚĝĪ ĄĂćā āęĞ ī Ĝħ ĦħĬ ĨĪħĮġĜĝ ĬĠĝ īęĥĝ īĝĪĮġěĝī ęī ĚęĦģ ĚĪęĦěĠĝī ĚĭĬ ĠęĮĝ ÿĒċī ęĦĜ ęīīħěġęĬĝī įĠħ ěęĦ ĠĝĤĨ ıħĭ āęĞ ī ęĮęġĤęĚĤĝ ġĦ īĝĤĝěĬ ĤħěęĬġħĦī ąħ Ĭħ ĤħěęĬġħĦī ěęĨġĬęĤħĦĝ ěħĥ ĞħĪ ĤħěęĬħĪ ĄħħĜ ęĦĜ ĚĝĮĝĪęğĝī ĨĪħĮġĜĝĜ Ěı ę ĬĠġĪĜ ĨęĪĬı ƣ ! ' āęĨġĬęĤ čĦĝ

Real Simple 24/7 FOLLOW US ONLINE FOR E XCLUSIVE IDE A S, TIP S, A N D W AY S T O M A K E L I F E E A S I E R — E V E RY D AY.

MEET

S A R A AU S T I N E X EC U T I V E E D I TO R AT R E A L S I M P L E

Just out on your own in the world? We’re here for you, teaching exactly how to master essential life skills.

Dream vacation: Rain forest walks and beach naps in Belize. Best gift ever: After I had my first baby, my coworkers sent over two weeks of dinners.

Check out our Real Simple Adulting Made Easy guide at realsimple .com/adulting.

Favorite item in my home: I installed our light fixtures, and I’ll never stop bragging about it. Ideal weekend plans: A Broadway show and a Costco run. @SARADAUSTIN ON INSTAGRAM AND TWIT TER

40-plus gifts your partner will actually appreciate From stepped-up sweets to personalized mementos, these cliché-free finds make Valentine’s Day shopping a snap. Shop Valentine’s Day presents at realsimple .com/vdaygifts.

#R SLOVE When you stop to look around, you’ll find dozens of unexpected moments of joy scattered throughout your day. Share with us the instances that make you smile by using our #RSLOVE hashtag on Instagram.

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Keep scammers off your back with our seven expertapproved money strategies. Read more at realsimple .com/moneyadvice.

10 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Open

and tap

for Super Bowl snacks.

FAC E B O O K @REALSIMPLE

I N S TA G R A M @ R E A L _S I M P L E

C LO C K W I S E F R O M TO P L E F T : R E M I PY R D O L , H A I R & M A K EU P BY S U M M E R T R AN ; G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P E T E R A R D I TO ; J E N N I F E R CAU S E Y; G E T T Y I M AG E S

A D U LT I N G MADE E ASY

BEAUTIFUL HAIR STARTS AT THE ROOT. HAIRCARE WITH SOOTHING OAT AS THE FIRST INGREDIENT.

©J&JCI2019

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The Short List F I V E B O O K S T H AT W O N ’ T D I S A P P O I N T By Elizabeth Sile

Spy novel

Family drama

Marie Mitchell isn’t the usual Cold War novel protagonist: She’s a young black woman working in an almost entirely white, male-staffed FBI. As her career stalls, she’s recruited by a CIA operative to help the U.S. overthrow the leader of an African country by seduction. But when she develops real feelings for the revolutionary, she begins to question her duty to country. Lauren Wilkinson’s American Spy, inspired by true events, is a thrilling, original read.

In Anissa Gray’s The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls, three sisters deal with painful choices after the eldest, Althea—a pillar of her Michigan community—is found guilty of fraud. Lillian and Viola, who were largely raised by Althea when their preacher father fell short, struggle to care for Althea’s daughters in the house they grew up in. Gray’s absorbing novel is about family and the things we hunger for.

Great for book club Though she was a successful model, Lee Miller knew she wanted more. After moving to Paris to become an artist, she begins a rocky romance with photographer Man Ray, who teaches her the craft. In The Age of Light, a rich historical novel set in 1930s Paris and the front lines of World War II, Whitney Scharer spotlights a woman who was ahead of— but still held back by—her time.

Comforting read If you’re reading this magazine feeling permanently chilly and ready for spring, Isabel Gillies’s Cozy might help you appreciate—or at least better tolerate— the cold weeks ahead. In this fun tribute to that snugly feeling, Gillies blends first-person essays and travelogues, recipes, and tips to show that coziness isn’t all about blankets and candles. It’s a way of looking at the world in a new light.

Overnight, Judy Goldman’s life is transformed when her husband, Henry, is paralyzed from a routine back procedure. Together, her memoir of becoming Henry’s advocate and caretaker—he relies on her for everything from changing his catheter to getting in the car—is part portrait of a 40-year marriage and part indictment of our medical system. Goldman’s beautiful, deeply honest book is for anyone who has faced down change.

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

For more book recommendations, visit realsimple.com/newbooks.

Medical memoir

12 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

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Yo u r W o r d s

What do you do to feel more energized?

Go for a run or just the opposite: a day of Netflix. I try to listen to what my body needs. @SJWHITE22_

I get up off the couch and accomplish just one thing I want to do. It can be as small as clearing the dishes, making the bed, or doing a quick sun salutation, but that small win often encourages me to keep going. @CAS SGRAFE ATS

I have a piece of chocolate and a coffee and breathe in.

# R S L OV E

“ H I K E D I N F O R T H E S U N S E T, H I K E D O U T W I T H F L A S H L I G H TS .” @ W H E R E N OW L AU L AU

TRACI E. VICENTE, NE W BRAUNFEL S, TE XAS

Yoga! @LISASTPIERRE

I read magazines! I love thumbing through the pages, learning new things, and getting inspired. It’s nice to take time away from screens. VANES SA TANICIEN, BRO OKLYN, NE W YORK

Invite people over. Nothing energizes me more than knowing guests are coming. SUSAN CO OK ANDERSON, LEEDS, MAS SACHUSE T TS

My sleep is critical to my energy level. I’m a believer in a sleeping mask and earplugs to get deep, restorative sleep.

My husband read an article about the Y power pose: Hold your arms up and make a big Y. Push your chest out and open, holding the stretch for two minutes while taking deep, cleansing breaths. It sounds hard to believe, but you will have a lot of energy at the end of the two minutes! @ABARKEI

@COLBERT_PAM

I’m a shopaholic, so going to a store and snagging a great buy gets me energized. DEBBIE GIANOS, CLINTON, NE W JERSEY

Listen to upbeat music! K A I JA P O W E R S, S A N A N G E LO, T E X A S

14 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

I spray eucalyptus oil in the steam of the shower. It opens my sinuses and wakes me up.

Bake! MARLENE GREENBERG, CHERRY HILL , NE W JERSEY

Write letters to old friends. It helps distract me from current stresses and keeps genuine friendships alive. @JULIE_WO ODSON

Ride my bike outside. @CATHY_ HENDERSON66

I love to organize and clean. It sounds weird, but it’s very therapeutic to give or throw away and to organize the house for us to live comfortably. @K2THEBE AR

There is nothing that energizes me more than marking things off my to-do list(s). Finishing a task isn’t easy for me, so actually finishing a project makes me do a happy dance! K AREN MICHAEL , MIDL AND, TE XAS

The Instagrammers who shared the photos in this column will receive a copy of Organizing for the New Year. Want to be considered? Tag photos on Instagram with #RSLOVE.

I get a cup of hot tea, and I rest. That can mean reading, knitting, or just cuddling with animals. A short break is usually exactly what I need to be able to power through the day. @JENN_A_C

Put on lipstick. When my face looks a little brighter, when I catch it in the mirror, I feel more energized. MICHELLE MATHIEU, TOP SHAM, MAINE

@DEBILOVESPIGS13

I go outside and take a walk, leaving the responsibilities of home, family, and pets behind for a few minutes. When I return, I’m better able to focus. PAT TI AT WO OD DIAL , STOCKTON, CALIFORNIA

I ask the universe, “What can I do in this moment to help someone else?” An answer always pops up. If I do it, I pop up too. ERIN WILCOX , O CE ANSIDE, CALIFORNIA

Stand tall, shoulders back; smile for 30 seconds minimum; sing! Singing at chorale rehearsal has the additional benefit of chasing away my aches and pains for two or three hours. CHRIS CL ARK , SP OK ANE, WASHINGTON

# R S L OV E “ M Y N E W FAVO R I T E S I D E D I S H R EC I P E : C U R RY T U R M E R I C C AU L I F LOW E R W I T H G O L D E N R A I S I N S A N D PA R S L E Y. ” @ DA I SY B E E T

NEXT QUESTION... What’s something you used to feel selfconscious about but don’t anymore? Send an email to yourwords@ realsimple.com and let us know your answer to this question. Your response could appear on these pages.

I keep a bottle of face-toning spritzer in the fridge at work. When I am heading toward midafternoon tiredness, I give myself a few sprays of the cold toner, and it snaps me out of it. S U S A N A R M ST E A D, RO S E V I L L E , C A L I F O R N I A

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

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S A V E Y O U R S E L F A T R I P T O T H E S PA B Y B R I N G I N G T H E S E S E L F- C A R E E SS E N T I A L S H O M E . N OW YO U C A N U N W I N D A N Y T I M E. By Cat Dash

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

H I G H -T E C H S C E N T This sculptural diffuser features a remote that lets you choose from a library of soothing sounds and lights to match your mood. TO BUY: Ellia Gather Ultrasonic essential oil diffuser, $100; bedbathandbeyond.com.

Photograph by Corey Olsen

REAL SIMPLE

W H AT W E LO V E

1 2

8 7

1 B AT H E S S E N T I A L These cotton waffleweave towels are extra absorbent and soft yet dry quickly, so they can stay fresher longer. TO BUY: Simple waffle towels, from $35; hawkinsnewyork.com.

3 I N S P I R I N G P RO M P T S This 50-card deck’s bite-size exercises and encouraging phrases will keep you uplifted and focused. TO BUY: Mindfulness cards, $17; chroniclebooks.com.

2 LUX E L O U N G E W E A R A machine-washable silk (yes, really) set that’s comfy in bed and doubles as chic loungewear. TO BUY: Washable silk pant set, $238; lunya.co.

4 F I V E - M I N U T E FA C I A L Get pampered in a jiff with this fast-acting sheet-mask set, with treatments that soothe, hydrate, and illuminate. TO BUY: FlashMasque fiveminute sheet-mask trio, $20; patchology.com.

18 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

5 ME TIME Use this eye-catching sand timer as a reminder to do something for yourself at least 15 minutes each day. TO BUY: The School of Life 15-minute timer, $30; anthropologie.com. 6 B R I G H T- E Y E D Feel calmer with these handmade eye pillows filled with flaxseed, lavender, and chamomile. TO BUY: Aromatherapy eye pillows, $32 each; gammafolk.com.

7 CLEANSING SCENT This striking accessory holds a stick of palo santo wood, which produces an inviting aroma when burned. TO BUY: Copper palo santo holder, $65; the-citizenry.com. 8 B E S T F O O T F O RWA R D Walk on clouds with these Turkish-cotton slippers, complete with rubber soles for extra grip. TO BUY: Waffle slipper, $29; parachutehome.com.

TO W E L S : C O U RT E SY O F T U C K E R R Ó U D E S ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

W H AT W E LO V E

Quick Ideas

The Staple Subtly sweet and nutty from whole-wheat graham flour, graham crackers can do way more than sandwich chocolate and marshmallows. Blitzed with pretzels, they make a salty, crunchy coating for chicken tenders. They turn a batch of homemade granola bars into a nostalgic afterschool snack, and layered with tangy orangeflavored whipped cream, they soften ever so slightly for a new take on icebox cake. With range like this, you’d better buy an extra box.

1 G R A H A M - C RU S T E D CHICKEN TENDERS

Season 2 lb. chicken tenders with tsp. each salt and pepper. Dip in 2 beaten eggs, then dredge in a mixture of 1 cup each crushed graham crackers and pretzels. Coat tenders with cooking spray and place on a baking sheet. Bake at 425°F, flipping midway, until cooked through, 18 minutes. 2 NO-BAKE GR AHAM C R A C K E R S Q UA R E S

Mix 2 cups each chopped graham crackers and quick-cooking oats with cup each dried cranberries and roasted peanuts, cup unsweetened shredded coconut, and tsp. kosher salt. Bring cup honey and cup brown sugar to a boil in a small pot. Stir in cup peanut butter and tsp. vanilla. Stir into oat mixture; press into a greased 8-inch square dish; chill. Cut into bars.

Beat 8 oz. cream cheese, 14 oz. sweetened condensed milk, 2 tsp. orange zest, and 2 Tbsp. orange juice with an electric mixer until smooth. Beat 2 cups heavy cream to stiff peaks; fold into cream cheese mixture. Layer mixture with graham crackers in a 9-inch baking dish, layering to top. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Top with whipped cream and sliced oranges.

B y D a w n Pe r r y R e c i p e s b y Pa m L o l l e y

20 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

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Contains 4x the antioxidants, on average, of green tea.

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An in vitro study at UCLA found that pomegranate juice has, on average, more antioxidant capacity than red wine, cranberry juice or green tea. It’s easy to enjoy all the healthy beneﬁts of pomegranates every day with POM Wonderful 100% Pomegranate Juice. It’s great alone or added to your favorite breakfast smoothie. So make POM part of your daily routine. Your body will thank you.

Lie about your age. And get away with it.

POM Wonderful 100% Pomegranate Juice can be found in the produce section. It is also available on Amazon. ©2019 POM Wonderful LLC. All Rights Reserved. POM, POM WONDERFUL, ANTIOXIDANT SUPERPOWER, the accompanying logos and the Bubble Bottle Design are trademarks of POM Wonderful LLC or its aﬃliates. PJ181017-06

W H AT W E LO V E

FR AMING APP

Get your photo framed in just a few clicks using this streamlined app, also available on desktop. There are more than 100 types of frames in various sizes, colors, and materials, like wood and metal, to choose from. TO BUY: $29 (9 by 9 in.); keepsakeframes.com.

B L O O DY M A RY ESSENTIAL

These noise-canceling headphones automatically detect when you’re traveling, walking, or waiting, and then they adjust the ambient-sound settings. A single charge gets you 30 hours of battery life. TO BUY: Sony WH-1000XM3 Wireless Noise-Canceling Headphones, $350, amazon.com.

Little Helpers S I X S M A RT P RO D U C T S TO M A K E YO U R L I F E E A S I E R

The best part of this classic cocktail is the snacks, right? Poke shrimp, olives, or other garnishes onto this stainless-steel tree that fits perfectly in a pint glass and serve to happy brunch guests. TO BUY: Bloody Mary Tree, $25 for 4; nodproducts.com.

By Brandi Broxson

E A S Y- C L E A N B AT H T OY S

These adorable bath squirts twist apart when bathtime is over for cleaning or drying, which helps you fend off mildew and mold. TO BUY: Munchkin CleanSqueeze MoldFree Bath Squirts, $9 for 4; amazon.com.

22 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

C A S S E RO L E T R A N S P O RT

COMFY CREW

This moisture-wicking tee has a thermal-reflective lining that retains heat (to keep you warm) topped with soft fibers (to keep you extra cozy). TO BUY: Women’s Omni-Heat 3D Knit Crew Top, $90; columbia.com.

This sturdy container holds a disposable tray for mess-free transport to the potluck and easy cleanup after. It comes with one tray and serving spoon and is top-rack dishwasher safe. TO BUY: Fancy Panz 2 in 1, $20; thegrommet.com.

B L O O D Y M A R Y A N D S E R V I N G T R AY : P E T E R A R D I T O ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

N E X T- L E V E L HEADPHONES

Make the harmony

last longer

NO ALKALINE BATTERY LASTS LONGER THAN RAYOVAC® FUSION™** *RAYOVAC® FUSION™ vs RAYOVAC® HIGH ENERGY™ **Average ANSI performance tests

W H AT W E LO V E

Pretty Smart T H E M O ST P O RTA B L E F R AG R A N C E , P LU S S E V E N O T H E R B E AU T Y B U Y S T O S AV E YO U R S A N I T Y By Heather Muir Maffei

MUGLER PERFUMING PEN IN ANGEL, A L I E N , A N D AU R A

Sprays can stain; rollerballs can leak. This retractable wax stick makes it easy to apply (and reapply) fragrance on the go minus any mess. Non-oily and alcohol-free, the solid melts on contact for a hit of spicy vanilla, woodiness, or floral whenever and wherever you want it. TO BUY: $24 each; mugler.com.

24 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

BLISS MINT CHIP MANIA MASK

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y M E G A N K I A N T O S . T H I S PA G E : M A S C A R A : P E T E R A R D I T O ; S M E A R : J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

You’ll want to eat it (please don’t). Aloe vera soothes, peppermint leaf extract cools, shea butter nourishes (the chips melt as you massage), and bentonite clay sucks out oil for a facial/ice cream scoop in a jar. TO BUY: $16; target.com.

N E U T RO G E N A M A K E U P R E M OV E R CLEANSING TOWELET TES SINGLES

The cult-fave makeup remover now comes in individual packets. They’re handy at the gym or office and for travel. TO BUY: $8 for 20; neutrogena.com.

KRISTEN ESS TEXTURE TA M I N G RO O T C O N T RO L I RO N

L I V I N G P RO O F P E R F E C T H A I R DAY (PHD) TRIPLE D E T OX S H A M P O O

Is hard water sucking the life out of your hair? Free of harsh sulfates, this shampoo removes buildup from minerals as well as oil, products, and pollution so hair is hydrated and its color stays brighter longer. TO BUY: $28; living proof.com. M AY B E L L I N E N E W YO R K S N A P S C A R A

For those who love the look of mascara but dread the removal, this formula glides on for defined, clump-free lashes. It doesn’t smudge, yet comes off with only water and a cotton pad—so easy. TO BUY: $8; ulta.com.

This smooths baby hairs and cowlicks that are too small for your flatiron. Plus, the comb protects your scalp. TO BUY: $55; target.com.

G A R N I E R F RU C T I S SLEEK SHOT

If you use a flatiron after blow-drying, this saves you a step. Mix this gel with shampoo in a 50/50 ratio, then wash regularly. Hydrophobic polymers coat hair so you get a sleek finish after drying. TO BUY: $4.50; at drugstores.

L A N C Ô M E A B S O LU E R E V I TA L I Z I N G & BRIGHTENING RICH CREAM

This cream melts into a serum-like lotion, softening lines and evening out tone. When it’s gone, keep the pretty jar and buy a less-pricey refill pod. TO BUY: $208; lancome-usa.com.

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

W H AT W E LO V E

Room Rx N O T S U R E H O W T O W O R K A R O U N D T H O S E T R I C K Y S P O T S I N Y O U R H O M E ? B O B BY B E R K , I N T E R I O R D E S I G N E R A N D C O STA R O F N E T F L I X ’ S Q U E E R E Y E , O F F E R S H I S E X P E RT A DV I C E . By Stephanie Sisco

ADD STOR AGE

FA K E A B I G G E R S PA C E

A D D G R E E N E RY

DISTR ACT THE EYE

Create more room for overflow toiletries and replace your mirror with one that has a medicine cabinet and additional shelving. TO BUY: Lillangen mirror cabinet, $95; ikea.com/us/en.

Keep the walls neutral, but paint the ceiling a dark shade to give the illusion of an even larger room. TO BUY: Aura Bath & Spa paint in Jet Black, $70 per gallon; benjamin moore.com for info.

Incorporate a plant to soften the hard edges and offer more visual interest that will help draw attention away from the problematic tile.

Cover the tiles on the shower floor with a naturally moisture-resistant teak mat. Water drains right through the slats, and it will create a spa-like experience. TO BUY: Teak bathtub mat, $216; wayfair.com. Submit your own design dilemmas to letters@realsimple.com.

26 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Illustration by Babeth Lafon

P L A N T : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

“My taste is fairly minimalist, but my bathroom has busy-looking ‘decorative’ tile I can’t stand. It’s not in my budget now to replace the tile, so how can I make the room feel more modern and chic? Plus, it needs more storage— there’s no medicine cabinet, just a mirror.” —Anna, owner of a three-bedroom condo

¸6U [OL *HUHS¹ I` .YP UILSS 7HWLY *V ,UJPUP[HZ *( *VW`YPNO[ 4PU[LK 33*

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MAKE A BOLD STATEMENT Take your wall from blank to beautiful with wall murals featuring unique artwork from Minted’s community of independent artists. Easy to install, easy to remove. Starting at $330 for a 6’ x 8.25’. minted.com/wall-murals

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Ā Walk medieval Gamla Stan in Stockholm, Sweden Ā Survey a fjord from Akershus Castle in Olso, Norway

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DREAMS SHOULDN’T WAIT; BOOK NOW: Visit PRINCESS.COM | Call 1.800.PRINCESS (774.6273) | Contact your TRAVEL ADVISOR ©2019 Princess Cruise Lines, Ltd. Ships of Bermudan & British registry. *Fares are per guest and apply to minimum lead-in categories on Golden Princess® 6/1/19 for 7-day Alaska Voyage of the Glaciers cruise only, and Regal Princess® 6/12/19 for 11-day Scandinavia & Russia cruise only on a space-available basis at time of booking. Fares for other categories may vary. Fares are non-air, cruise- or cruisetour-only, based on double occupancy and apply to the ﬁrst two guests in a stateroom. These fares do not apply to singles or third/fourth-berth guests. This offer has limited space regardless of cabin availability and may not be combinable with any other public, group or past guest offers. Offer is not transferable and may not be combinable with other select offers and onboard credits. Offer is available to residents of the 50 United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Bermuda and the District of Columbia who are 21 years of age or older. Fares quoted in U.S. dollars. Please refer to princess.com for terms, conditions and deﬁnitions that apply to all bookings.

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y T O R I E C O X ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S . S P E C I A L T H A N K S T O S C O T T B E N S O N , M D , P H D , A S S I S TA N T P R O F E S S O R , F A M I LY M E D I C I N E , M AY O C L I N I C S C H O O L O F M E D I C I N E I N R O C H E S T E R , M I N N E S O TA ; J E D F A H E Y, S C D , A S S I S TA N T P R O F E S S O R O F M E D I C I N E , J O H N S H O P K I N S U N I V E R S I T Y S C H O O L O F M E D I C I N E I N B A LT I M O R E

U N C O M M O N S O L U T I O N S T O E V E RY D AY P R O B L E M S

A S O OTH IN G R ECIPE FO R CO LD A N D FLU S E A S O N Warm up with this homemade tonic packed with immunity-boosting ingredients like cinnamon and ginger. The best part? It comes together in just 10 minutes: Rinse and slice 1 large knob of unpeeled ginger (about 4 inches long). Place in a medium pot with 2 cinnamon sticks, 2 star anise, and 4 cups water. Bring to a boil, remove from heat, and let steep, covered, for about 10 minutes. Strain into a large glass container and stir in 2 tablespoons honey, 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar, and the juice from 1 lemon. Enjoy warm or refrigerate and reheat as needed. By Ananda Eidelstein

Photograph by Jen Causey

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

THE REALIST

Cooking School T I P S, T EC H N I Q U E S, A N D R EC I P E S ST R A I G H T F RO M T H E R E A L S I M P L E T E S T K I T C H E N . T H I S M O N T H : H O W T O P R E P A B A K I N G PA N By D awn Perr y

Nothing deflates a baker more than a cake stuck in its pan. Follow these guidelines to ensure an easy release for all your cakes, brownies, and Bundts.

9-INCH ROUND

8-INCH SQUARE

Brush a thin layer of soft butter over the bottom and sides of the pan. (Or use the butter wrapper to wipe it on.) Fold a square piece of parchment, slightly larger than the pan, into quarters, then into a skinny triangle. Line up the point with the center of the pan; cut a rounded edge from the outside. Unfold and press it into the pan. Butter the parchment.

Nonstick cooking spray does the trick when you already have the protection of a double layer of parchment. Lightly coat the pan with spray. Lay 1 piece of parchment across it, pressing into bottom and leaving a 2-inch overhang on 2 sides. Spray the parchment and place another piece, perpendicular to the first, so long sides hang over the opposite edges. Spray the parchment.

STANDARD BUNDT

M O R E F RO M OUR KITCHEN Find videos, lessons, shortcuts, and strategies to help you get dinner (and breakfast, and lunch, and dessert) on the table with ease at realsimple.com/ cookingschool.

30 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Brush a thin layer of softened butter from center to edge (avoid nonstick spray, which can miss a Bundt’s nooks and crannies). Add a couple of spoonfuls of flour (or cocoa powder for chocolate cakes) and shake to distribute across the bottom of the pan. Working over a bowl, tilt, tap, and rotate the pan so the flour lightly coats the interior. Invert the pan and tap out any excess.

G OT S T U C K ? T RY T H I S : Wrap the cooled cake and pan in plastic wrap and freeze for at least 6 hours and up to a day. Unwrap the frozen cake and run a thin knife around its edge. Insert two forks on opposite sides of the pan. Using the forks as levers, gently squeeze and nudge the cake to loosen it. Invert the pan and tap the edge on a 45-degree angle to pop out the cake. No luck? Frost the cake (or dust with powdered sugar) and serve straight from the pan.

Illustrations by Adam Cruft

THE FIT NUT (WGN [QWT Ƃ VPGUU YKVJ 6JG 9∂PFGTHWN 0WV 9∂PFGTHWN 2KUVCEJKQU CTG QPG QH VJG JKIJGUV RTQVGKP JKIJGUV Ƃ DGT PWVU CTQWPF 5Q RWUJ [QWT JGCNVJ VQ PGY JGKIJVU YKVJ VJKU VCUV[ NKVVNG RQYGTJQWUG QH JGCTV JGCNVJ[ IQQFPGUU The Skinny Nut • The Fit Nut • The Mindful Nut • The Colorful Nut • The Happy Nut

The W∑nderful Nut

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THE REALIST

Now What?!? S M A RT F I X E S F O R L I F E ’ S L I T T L E D I S A ST E R S By Nora Hor vath

There’s something in my eye. Immediately flood the eye with water or artificial tears, says Assumpta Madu, MD, an ophthalmologist at NYU Langone Health in New York City. This will help “float” a piece of dirt or eyelash out of the lower lid area. Continue flushing the eye until the irritating item is removed. Resist the urge to rub the eye, which could scratch or injure the cornea, says Madu. And while the irritation might feel uncomfortable, know that there’s actually no way to get something stuck behind the eye. If you are experiencing extreme redness, sensitivity to light, problems with vision, or pain, see a doctor.

THE FIX:

I’m worried about my pipes freezing when I’m away.

THE FIX: In

a basin or sink, soak the sweater in very cold water with a delicate detergent. This makes the fabric easier to manipulate, says Miriam Mades, owner of AlterKnit, a clothing-repair service in New York City that specializes in knits and wovens. Let the sweater sit for 10 minutes, then remove it and gently squeeze out excess water using your fingertips. Lay it down flat, either on a drying rack or on a flat surface on top of a clean towel. (Never wring out woolen fabrics.) Reshape the stretched-out area by pulling very lightly around it. Once the item is dry, steam or iron the sweater on a very low setting to set the fabric in place.

GET T Y IMAGES

I left my sweater on a hook, and there’s a stretched-out spot.

32 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

If you’ll be gone overnight or you know that freezing temperatures will hit while you’re away, open cabinet doors under sinks so warm air can get in, says Shane Wolcansek, owner of Sterling Craft Plumbing & Bath in Spartanburg, South Carolina. Also shut off the water supply to the entire house or apartment to prevent any flooding in case pipes do freeze. Turn faucets slightly on so they produce a consistent drip—you don’t need a steady stream, says Wolcansek. This will drain the remaining water in the system and provide an escape route for any pressure that builds up, helping prevent more problems. Focus on faucets on your home’s exterior walls (often the kitchen sink), as these are the most likely to freeze. THE FIX:

THE REALIST

Real Simplifier

How Do I Use the Cloud? IT SOUNDS SUPER MYSTERIOUS (LIKE OZ!), BUT THE CLOUD IS J U S T S PA C E O N T H E I N T E R N E T W H E R E Y O U C A N S T O R E A N D V I E W C O P I E S O F I M P O R T A N T F I L E S . H E R E ’ S H O W T O M A K E I T W O R K F O R Y O U. By Maggie Puniewska

W H AT I S T H E C L O U D ?

SHOULD I STORE MY PERSONAL D O CUMENTS ON IT?

I WA N T T O B A C K U P M Y D I G I TA L P H O T O L I B R A RY TO THE CLOUD

I H AV E A B U S I N E S S A N D WA N T T O S E T U P A C L O U D S E RV E R

WHEN SHOULD I S TA RT PAY I N G F O R E X T R A C L O U D S PA C E ?

The cloud comes with a lot of perks. Employees can remotely access files, and if a fire or flood occurs at the office, your data will be intact. If you’re looking to make the switch, Chang suggests consulting with an IT professional who regularly sets up cloud servers for small businesses. Especially consider help if you handle personal, confidential, or proprietary information, or use specialized software beyond Microsoft Office or Adobe. “Experts can also help set up your security and doublecheck that your network is secure,” adds Hunter.

If you have a large collection of something (like a family photo archive), consider additional storage. But before you invest, review your photos, videos, and downloads and delete anything you might not need from your cloud, not your computer, to free up your cloud storage. Then check existing subscriptions to see if they include cloud space—Amazon Photos, for example, provides unlimited photo storage for Prime members. Google, meanwhile, offers 15 GB of storage for free, while upgrading to Google One’s 100 GB of space costs $2 per month.

“In short, the cloud refers to files and applications that are stored or used on the internet,” says Farica Chang, director at Anderson Technologies, an IT company based in St. Louis. If you’ve watched something on Netflix, played your favorite song on Spotify, uploaded a photo to Dropbox, or saved a spreadsheet in Google Drive, you’ve used the cloud. It works like this: When something is stored in the cloud, it lives on that company’s servers (a network of computers). When you want to work on a file or stream a show, it’s shuttled from those servers onto your device.

Illustration by Asia Pietrzyk

“If you take the right security measures, most files will be safe on the cloud,” says Hillery Hunter, vice president and chief technology officer for cloud infrastructure at IBM. Any document that has your financial information— tax returns, health records, copies of social security cards—should be password protected and encrypted. Programs like Microsoft Office and Adobe Acrobat have both of those capabilities, but you can also purchase software such as Boxcryptor to add those protections for sensitive files stored with providers like Dropbox and Box.

“Most smartphones will send your snaps automatically to the company’s cloud servers,” says Chang. With your Apple ID (or other smartphone account), you can enable this feature in your phone’s settings. Since videos can take up a lot more space than photos, consider offloading only the true keepsakes to the cloud and removing the rest, since there’s a limit to how much you can store for free. If you’re a photo whiz looking to preserve images at a certain resolution, consider a service that caters to pros, like Adobe Creative Cloud, which also comes with editing tools.

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

THE REALIST

1 OUTFIT THE CORNERS

A tension rod is one of the best options for maximizing vertical storage space in a bathroom stall. Choose one with adjustable shelves to accommodate tall or bulksize toiletries. TO BUY: Simplehuman stainless-steel tension shower caddy, $130; bedbathandbeyond.com. 2 C L E A R C LU T T E R

Reduce the number of items that actually live in the shower. Fill plastic bins with nonessential toiletries (like the hair mask you use every other week) and store them in a nearby vanity or linen closet until you need them. TO BUY: InterDesign clear grid tote, from $10; containerstore.com.

3 P U T I T O N A P E D E S TA L

For a shower space without a tub, prevent overflow supplies from littering the floor. A teak stool offers an elevated, water-friendly surface to stash everyday items. TO BUY: Round teak stool, $199; allmodern.com.

4 4 M A K E E X T R A RO O M

Organize This Y O U W A N T A S H O W E R S PA C E T H A T ’ S I N V I T I N G ( F O R L A Z Y S U N D AY S ) A N D E F F I C I E N T ( F O R C R A Z Y M O N D AY S ) . C H E RY L A R Z E W S K I A N D J O R D A N M A R K S , C O - O W N E R S O F I T ’ S O RG A N I Z E D, S H A R E T H E I R I D E A S. By Stephanie Sisco

34 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

5 CORR AL LIT TLE ITEMS

Keep small tools—like razors and handled pumice stones— dry and within reach by hanging them from hooks at torso level. Stash kid-specific supplies and toys on the lowest shelf for easy access. Take a shower from organized to completely calming with the tricks at realsimple.com/zenshower.

Photograph by Br yan Gardner

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

Consider the area just outside the shower and above the toilet as usable storage space as well. Install shelving to stash spare supplies and fresh towels.

How Not to Kill Your Indoor Plants: A Guide THERE IS NO MAGIC TO GO OD PL ANT C ARE, JUST B A S I C S C I E N C E A N D S I M P L E RU L E S. By Jen Stearns

36 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

a space without plants feels like: clinical, sterile. Now add plants. Homey, right? Warm, designed, cared for. There’s real science behind all those fuzzy feelings; studies show that productivity goes up when there are plants in the office and that tending plants can reduce stress and lower blood pressure. Yet as the owner of the Seattlebased plant store Urban Sprouts, I’ve come across too many people who have an outright fear of plants. “Can’t grow a thing,” they’ll tell me. “I can kill a plant just by looking at it.” Some people consider owning a houseplant akin to owning a dog in terms of responsibility. I must disagree there, and that’s why I wrote The Inspired Houseplant, a guidebook for even the blackest of thumbs. While it’s true that, like dogs, certain breeds of plants are better suited to certain owners, what I love about plants is that the beauty, joy, and health they bring to us indoors are accessible to everyone. Let’s dive in and turn your space into a gorgeous garden paradise.

A L L I M AG E S © S A R A M A R K P H OTO G R A P H Y

T H I N K A B O U T W H AT

THE REALIST

Prepare Your Planting Kit H A N D S A N D G L OV E S : If you want

to garden “naked” but keep soil from getting under your nails, run your nails over a bar of soap, as if you’re scratching it, to ﬁll in the space underneath. After planting, wash your hands, and the dirt will come right out. If you’re eager to spare your manicure (or you’re handling cacti), buy a snug pair of gloves that offers dexterity and a solid grip. S N I P S : Good-quality snips (or clip-

pers) are the only tool you should use for trimming roots and pruning. Their edges are razor-sharp, which spares the plant by making clean, surgical cuts. Wipe them down after use and keep them dry. WAT E R I N G C A N A N D M I S T E R :

You can buy very inexpensive watering cans and spray bottles for a few dollars, or spend a bit more to buy ones that are a pleasure to use and so pretty that you’ll want to keep them out. S C O O P O R T RO W E L : Useful for

adding dirt to pots and digging planting holes. Measuring cups work well in a pinch too; just wash them after use. C H O P S T I C K S : These are great for

poking holes in soil to make space for roots, aerating the soil, or placing items in delicate pots. P L A S T I C T O T E : When you don’t

have the luxury of a shed, a plastic tote works well for holding all your tools and pots. Plastic containers meant to hold large amounts of cereal or grains are nice for storing soil, compost, or fertilizer.

Master the Ar t of Potting In general, it’s a good idea to repot any plant you bring home within about two months, as plants don’t enjoy living in plastic nursery pots for long periods. And repot your existing cultivars regularly to keep them looking and feeling their best. Plants in a two-gallon pot or smaller should be repotted once a year. Plants in larger pots can go between two and three years before repotting. P I C K T H E P O T F O R YO U R G OA L S : To help a plant grow

larger, give it more space. Going up by two inches in diameter is a common rule of thumb, but you can give your plant even more room if you really want to encourage growth. To keep a plant the same size, just trim the roots prior to repotting it in a same-size pot.

L E T YO U R RO O T S B R E AT H E :

Loosen and separate the roots with your ﬁngers and shake off as much of the old soil as you can. Don’t be concerned if you hear slight tearing sounds—most plants can lose a lot of root mass and come out OK. Caveat: If you’re repotting begonias, ﬁcus, or cacti, try to disturb their roots as little as possible, since they don’t like to be touched. P O T T H E R I G H T WAY: If you’re

not going up a pot size, take the plant and use snips to trim the roots, focusing on big, thick roots. Holding the plant with one hand, fan out the roots in the bottom of the pot. Scoop soil around and on top of the roots, leaving at least ½ inch at the top of the pot to catch water overﬂow. Pat the soil down lightly and water immediately with a microbial inoculant.

A D D A D R A I N A G E L AY E R : Put a

one- to three-inch layer of bark, pebbles, or broken pottery in the bottom of the pot. This keeps soil from running out the drainage holes and prevents the roots from sitting in water. Cover with a thin layer of potting soil.

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

THE REALIST

C A C H E P O T RU L E S : If you’re using

a cachepot (a pot with no drainage hole), halve the water volume and double the frequency of watering.

Conquer Your Watering Fears

S C H E D U L E I T: A regular schedule

While there isn’t one golden rule—factors like drafts, humidity, air-conditioning, and pot size and material can affect how thirsty plants get—there are a few general tips you can apply to growing plants in your home. L O O K AT T H E L E AV E S : Leafy

plants tend to want to stay moister, while plants with thicker, rigid structures, including cacti, snake plants, and plants with woody stems, need less water. D O N ’ T L E T I T S I T: No plant likes

to sit in water. If water goes into the drainage tray and stays more than a day, dump it out. C O N S I D E R T H E S I Z E : Smaller pots generally need to be watered more often. But many people overwater bigger pots, thinking they need to saturate every inch of soil. A very general rule is to use an amount of water equal to about one-third the volume of the pot.

may help beginner gardeners who have trouble telling by look or feel when it’s time to water. Pick a day (or several, depending on your plants’ needs) and make it a routine. Reassess periodically to make sure it’s working for your plants. S I G N S O F OV E RWAT E R I N G : Look

for a musty smell, soil that never dries out, small insects on the surface of the soil, bottom leaves that are turning yellow or brown, and mushy leaves or mushy pots. S I G N S O F U N D E RWAT E R I N G :

Look for drooping, shriveling, leaf tips or edges that are crispy and brown, and leaves in the middle or near the top that are yellowing. A plant that needs to be repotted might exhibit these signs too, so if you haven’t changed your watering schedule and your plant shows these signs, it’s time to repot.

Decode Light Needs L O W L I G H T: Place the plant within

a few feet of an east- or north-facing window, or across the room from a south- or west-facing window. M O D E R AT E L I G H T: Place it next to

an east- or north-facing window that gets at least a few hours of direct light each day. B R I G H T L I G H T: Place it in a spot that

gets direct exposure for six or more hours each day.

B EG I N N E R- F R I E N D LY P L A N T S Still convinced you have a black thumb? Let these easy greens change your mind. Find one for yourself at my shop, Urban Sprouts (urbansproutsstore.com), or at the Sill (thesill.com).

PA L M

SNAKE PL ANT

CACTUS

FERN

P OTHOS

Excellent air purifiers, palms add height to any room. Their light and water needs run the spectrum, depending on the type of palm.

It will do just fine even in a dim, forgotten corner (even fluorescent light), and needs a drink only every two to six weeks. Just don’t overwater it.

Let it get bone-dry between watering, and make sure it’s planted in cactus mix. Water every three to six weeks, and give it lots of direct sun.

Ferns do best in dappled light and partial shade, and they love humidity. They’re great for chronic over waterers.

This leafy trailing vine is nearly impossible to kill. It will thrive in most light conditions. Water weekly, and let it dry out between waterings.

38 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Dress up indoor plants with the good-looking—and useful—accessories at realsimple.com/planters.

THE REALIST

Drugstore Insider T H E B E ST B E AU T Y P RO D U C T S I N T H E A I S L E S, H A N D P I C K E D BY A P RO

Michelle Henry, MD

Dove Exfoliating Body Polish Pomegranate Seeds & Shea Butter “Keep in the shower and use a few times per week to exfoliate dull skin without stripping moisture.” TO BUY: $6; walgreens.com.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios 50 Daily Anti-Aging Primer with Sunscreen “This helps protect the face from UV rays while blurring fine lines and pores.” TO BUY: $40; target.com.

Cantu Sensitive Hypoallergenic Shampoo “Its fragrance-free formula won’t irritate most sensitive skin and scalps.” TO BUY: $5; target.com.

40 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Aveeno Ultra-Calming Hydrating Gel Cleanser “Made specifically for dry, sensitive skin, this face wash contains soothing ingredients like redness-reducing feverfew, so it cleans gently without causing overdrying or flakiness.” TO BUY: $7; walmart.com.

L’Oréal Paris Rouge Signature Lip Ink “This lip color lives up to its all-day reputation. I love it because it stays in place during long days in the office.” TO BUY: $12; cvs.com.

C O U RT E SY O F M I C H E L L E H E N RY; S M E A R : B R I A N H E N N ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

CeraVe Hydrating Hyaluronic Acid Serum “This lightweight HA serum absorbs super quickly. Think of it as giving your skin an extra-strong shot of hydration.” TO BUY: $17; walmart.com.

Specializing in treatments for highrisk skin cancer and skin of color, Harvardtrained dermatologic surgeon Henry (@drmichellehenry) is a clinical instructor of dermatology at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City.

THE REALIST

R o a d Te s t

Bedtime Treats THE DRE AM: DRIF TING OFF TO A R E S T F U L N I G H T O F S L E E P. M A K E T H I S A REALITY WITH THESE CALMING W O N D E R S ( O U T O F 3 0 T E ST E D ) T H AT TA K E THE STRESS OUT OF SNO OZING. By Lisa D eSantis

S H E E T S P R AY

Sandoval Peace Interior Aromatic The only thing better than fresh linens? Fresh linens after a few spritzes of this serene patchouli and palo santo mist. TO BUY: $45 for 16 oz.; studiosandoval.com.

realsimple ROAD TE ST RO L L E R B A L L

B O DY LOT I O N

Bath & Body Works Sleep Body Cream This nongreasy vitamin E and shea butter lotion cocoons skin in tranquil lavender. Breathe in and head off to dreamland. TO BUY: $15.50; bathand bodyworks.com.

Apothecary Co. Abracadabra Sleep Elixir Glide this coconut oil over the soles of your feet before bed (or a flight) and relax thanks to organic cedarwood and vetiver essential oils. TO BUY: $26; apothecary company.com.

NIGHT CREAM

B AT H S OA K

Goop G.Nite Bedtime Bath Soak It’s not an every-night kind of thing, but when you can fit it in, dim the lights and treat yourself to a warm bath spiked with a cup of this calming mixture, which includes valerian root extract, anti-inflammatory Australian sandalwood essential oil, and Epsom salts. Hop into bed as your body temperature cools—the prime time to fall asleep. TO BUY: $35; goop.com.

42 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Fresh Lotus Youth Preserve Dream Face Cream The peach scent will become your favorite part of your skin-care routine. Potent lotusflower extract smooths and revives tired skin. TO BUY: $48; fresh.com.

Kitsch Jade Facial Roller Roll this upward over skin after applying night cream. Derms say it boosts circulation; we say it feels really dang good. Store in the fridge for extra depuffing. TO BUY: $24; mykitsch.com.

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

FA C I A L RO L L E R

THE REALIST

Your New Go-Tos T H E S E I N N O VAT I V E D E L I C AT E S

SHAPEWEAR From a sweet bodysuit that smooths things out to a slip with built-in shorts, there are undie options out there to make any outfit look better.

MIGHT BECOME THE HARDEST W O R K E R S I N YO U R WA R D RO B E . B y Ta m a r a K r a u s

S I X- I N - O N E S H A P I N G TA N K

H I G H -WA I S T E D PA N T Y Lightweight mesh and embroidered details make these secure underthings nothing like your grandma’s full-coverage bottoms. TO BUY: $68; simoneperele.com.

This no-show tank offers maximum versatility. Move the compression panels where you want them: two panels on the front, two on the back, and one on either side, or switch from a scoop neck to a v-neck to match your blouse shape. TO BUY: $58; yummie.com.

S K I RT S H A P E R

ST YLING BY MAI TRAN

A M E L I A F O R M I N G B O DY S U I T Tulle isn’t just for skirts: Used here, the luxe fabric creates a streamlined layer for your clothes. It has adjustable straps and a comfortable elastic waistband for a perfect fit all around. TO BUY: $250; wolford.com.

P h o t o g r a p h s b y Ke v i n S w e e n e y

O N C O R E M I D -T H I G H SHAPER

This double-duty slip features built-in compression shorts made of tulle—no twisting. The microfiber material provides added smoothing and sculpting under skirts and dresses. TO BUY: $68; simoneperele.com.

With a high-waisted silhouette and front panels, these nylon and spandex shorts from Spanx offer maximum shaping from the waist to the thigh. TO BUY: $72; dillards.com.

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

BRAS Build a better foundation by eliminating common bra-blems, like straps falling off or a band that won’t stay put.

LINGUINE BR A

T R I A N G O LO DA R K S T R I N G S B R A

Soft foam and silky microfiber make this no-fuss bra the ultimate piece for daily wear. TO BUY: $64; lemystere.com.

A thicker band prevents it from riding up, while the embellished frills give it a bralette appearance. TO BUY: $55; intimissimi.com.

24 / 7 C OT TO N T- S H I RT B R A

THE SCO OP BR A

The everyday bra gets a modern update with sleek lines, pima cotton for durability, and half sizes so you can find the perfect fit. TO BUY: $68; thirdlove.com.

46 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

When you want a little less coverage for tops with lower necklines, these curved cups will do just the trick—minus spillage. Plus, it comes in 42 sizes. TO BUY: $68; shopcuup.com.

N O O R T H E P LU N G E U N D E RW I R E B R A This dramatic sheer lace bra works seamlessly under a dress or blouse with a lower neckline. TO BUY: $63; eberjey.com.

THE L ACE STR APLESS BR A Believe it or not, this strapless bra is so comfortable, you’ll feel more like you’re wearing athleisure and not evening wear. TO BUY: $35; wearlively.com.

THE REALIST

UNDERWEAR The latest styles include neutral shades for all skin tones and lace that feels as good as it looks.

SOIRE CONFIDENCE CL ASSIC Available in seven tones so you can pick a “nude” that actually matches your skin. The breathable mesh fabric will make them a staple in your wardrobe. TO BUY: $21 each; cosabella.com.

L A C E TO LOV E B I K I N I This retro-style bikini features floral-patterned lace for a romantic touch and a full back for premium coverage. TO BUY: $20; wacoal-america.com.

Pick undergarments that truly fit with the guide to measuring bra size at realsimple.com/brasize.

S E X Y A N D S M O OT H BRIEF For extra support, reach for these elastic-free undergarments made with European microfiber and luxe lace. TO BUY: $58; wearcommando.com.

N E A R LY I N V I S I B L E BIKINI

M O D E R N M O C K-W R A P BRIEF

The lightweight fabric lies flat against your skin for a panty-line-free finish. TO BUY: $12; vanityfairlingerie.com.

Tactile spandex gives these lace undergarments four-way stretch for support from the back to the hips. TO BUY: $18; felina.com.

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

THE REALIST

Personal Shopper T H E B E S T S T Y L E - F R I E N D LY B U Y S , A L L S E L E C T E D B Y A FA S H I O N I N S I D E R

Why not let a pro scour the stores for you? This mo del turne d mo gul will help you get re ady for Valentine’s D a y.

Silk Laundry 90s Silk Slip Dress “Easy to wear almost everywhere. I’ll throw a denim button-down or jacket over this dress if it gets a little chilly out.” TO BUY: $173; silklaundry.com.au.

Privé Revaux the Penn Sunglasses “Lately I’ve been loving rounder lenses, and this pair will go with any outfit.” TO BUY: $30; priverevaux.com.

Heidi Klum She’s an Emmy Award– winning television host, a judge on America’s Got Talent, the designer of Esmara by Heidi Klum for Lidl, the creative director of Heidi Klum Intimates and Heidi Klum Swim, and a mom of four. To learn more about her life and projects, follow her at @HeidiKlum on Instagram and Twitter.

“This mellow green is such a fun color to get you excited for spring.”

AMO Chloe Crop Jeans “Jeans that are comfortable and wear really well are a must in my closet.” TO BUY: $278; amodenim.com. Zac Posen Belay Mini Crossbody “I love supporting my friends, and Zac makes amazing products, like this mini neutral handbag that goes with almost everything.” TO BUY: $195; zacposen.com. Schutz Cadey Lee Heel “These nude sandals are simple but do the trick every time. Plus, they’re very comfortable.” TO BUY: $170; revolve.com.

48 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

C O U RT E SY O F H E I D I K LU M ; W H I T E T E E : P E T E R A R D I TO ; OT H E R P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

Rag & Bone the Tee Shirt “A great white T-shirt is a staple that should be in every wardrobe. It can be dressed up or down depending on what you’re doing that day.” TO BUY: $85; rag-bone.com.

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MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS IN A MODERN WORLD

5 Ways to Make Someone’s Day THESE E A SY ACTS OF G O O DW I L L H E L P YO U R F E L LOW H U M A N S — A N D YO U T O O.

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

By Betsy Rubiner

Photograph by Corey Olsen

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

R E L AT I N G

Bite your tongue. More people than we like to think move through this world without enough basic emotional support. They want to connect, and listening to them helps that connection happen. But listeners often respond with a parable about their life. Very quickly, a conversation can go from helping a friend in need to talking about how something similar happened to you and you know how it feels. The person who wants to be heard is left with small wars raging inside her head and heart. When I’m interrupting someone, it’s often because I have a lot of energy. But if I take a deep breath, relax my shoulders, and focus on the person in front of me, I’ll slow myself down enough to calmly listen.

Say thank you (and mean it). An intentional act of gratitude— acknowledging and appreciating a person, whether it’s someone you know or a stranger—is one of the most effective ways to boost well-being for both the giver and the receiver of this kindness. My organization encourages and studies kindness, and a hospital administrator once told us about thanking a janitor in the middle of the hallway. The janitor teared up and said that no one had ever thanked him during his many years there. The administrator’s voice swelled with emotion as she told us the story. Gratitude goes a long way. JACLYN LINDSEY IS A COFOUNDER AND THE CEO OF KINDNES S.ORG, A NONPROFIT BASED IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK , THAT OFFERS RESOURCES TO HELP INDIVIDUAL S, COMMUNITIES, WORKPL ACES, AND SCHO OL S USE KINDNES S TO ADDRES S SOME OF THE WORLD’S GRE ATEST CHALLENGES.

ASHLEY C. FORD IS A WRITER, A P OD CASTER, AND AN EDUCATOR WHO LIVES IN BRO OKLYN, NE W YORK . SHE IS WRITING A MEMOIR.

Let them into your lane. Traffic can be very frustrating. When I’m on the road, I try to think of other drivers—I always try to let others into my lane if they need to get there. It’s easy to do, and it’s so irritating when people won’t let you in, especially when the traffic is moving so slowly that no one is getting anywhere fast. When someone lets you by, it’s very important to give the courtesy wave to make sure they know you appreciated their gesture. Just a little wiggle of the ﬁngers to say, “Hey, thanks, that made my day a little easier!” KELLY KAZEK IS A JOURNALIST AND HUMORIST AND THE AUTHOR OF NOT QUI TE RIGHT: MOSTLY TRUE TALES OF A WE IRD NEWS REP ORTER. SHE LIVES IN HUNTSVILLE, AL ABAMA .

Take something off their plate. I live in a small Buddhist community in South Korea, and we share chores. One day it was my turn to do the dishes, but I was really busy and felt overwhelmed. Someone else in my community offered to do them for me, and I was so relieved and thankful. Acting in a spirit of generosity is a way to be compassionate, and for Buddhists, compassion is such an important part of our practice. You can surprise your spouse by paying the bills, doing the laundry—it doesn’t have to be a huge task, but when they realize it’s done, they will be so relieved to have one less thing to worry about. HAEMIN SUNIM IS A ZEN BUDDHIST TE ACHER AND THE AUTHOR OF LOVE FOR IMPERFECT THINGS : HOW TO AC CEPT YOURSELF IN A WORLD STRI V ING FOR PERFECT ION. HE LIVES IN SEOUL , SOUTH KORE A .

52 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Share a song. Brightening the day of someone going through something very tough, such as an illness, a divorce, or a job loss, doesn’t have to be complicated. Try simply posting a song on their Facebook page. You can also post a funny movie trailer or a video of you saying hello. I learned how meaningful this can be when I was going through cancer treatment. One day I was having a particularly difficult time, and I got a big pick-me-up when I opened Facebook and saw that a friend from the opposite coast had posted one of his favorite songs on my timeline. I love the song and went back to that post often to listen to it. But I also loved that he shared something that meant a lot to him. It was a gift he could give with joy and in a matter of seconds. KEL SEY CROWE, PHD, IS THE FOUNDER OF HELP E ACH OTHER OUT, WHICH PROVIDES WORKSHOP S ON EMPATHY, AND A COAUTHOR OF THERE IS NO GO OD CARD FOR THIS : WHAT TO S AY AND D O WHEN L IFE IS SCARY, AWFUL , AND UNFA IR TO PEOPLE YOU LOVE. SHE LIVES IN SAN FRANCISCO.

p Emily Dumler | Cancer Survivor Emily Dumler beat lymphoma with help from the largest cancer clinical trials program in the nation at MD Anderson Cancer Center. We offer access to more than 1,250 clinical trials – many only available here – to provide our patients with groundbreaking treatment options and the best hope of defeating cancer. Choose MD Anderson first. Call 1-855-894-0145 or visit MakingCancerHistory.com.

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R E L AT I N G

Good Read

Together Again F O R VA N E S S A H UA , M O V I N G I N W I T H H E R M O M WA S N ’ T J U S T A N E C E S S I T Y: I T WA S A C H A N C E F O R D E E P E R R E L AT I O N S H I P S.

THE DINING ROOM REEKED

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

of dead ﬂowers, of pond scum and festering. A few weeks after my father’s funeral, I’d returned to my childhood home and discovered withered petals heaped around ﬂoral arrangements, their stems gray with mold, in vases long gone dry. Gagging, I shoved it all into the green waste bin. Our family had held off from cleaning up, not certain if my then-74year-old mother was ready. As I slammed down the lid, I thought about the help she would need, not only in her mourning but in the life she would make without my father. Who would move the heavy bins down the steep driveway to the curb each week? Who would keep the house from feeling too empty? Independent as my mother was—she was a research scientist who still headed her own lab—who would watch out for her?

Photograph by Corey Olsen

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

BIG VANILLA

LATTE FLAVOR

The author’s home—pictured here during her childhood—where she lives with her mom, husband, and kids.

I scrubbed the vases until they sparkled. Upstairs, my mother puttered in her room. I glanced around the kitchen, trying to picture living here with her, my husband, and my twin sons, who were under a year old. She never asked outright for her children to return to the woodsy San Francisco suburbs, but we were supposed to understand these expectations without explanation. She and my father had sacriﬁced for me and my siblings, and just as they’d had a duty to us, we had a duty to them. My brother had been telecommuting, helping sort out the estate, and was prepared to make the move permanent. But he was single, and living with our mother would crimp his dating prospects. My husband and I had wanted to return to the Bay Area from suburban Los Angeles, and by moving in with my mother, my sons could deepen their relationship with her—a bond that seemed even more important after my father’s passing.

BIG FOOD FOR

BIG DAYS

that we were going home—not only to my hometown, but to my home, to the very bedroom where I’d grown up—many friends and colleagues were astounded. The lack of privacy would hurt our marriage, they said. We would fight. To them, three generations under one roof represented defeat, the last resort of the financially strapped. Yet for many Chinese, for many immigrant families like mine, this arrangement was an obligation, if not an ideal. According to the Pew Research Center, one in five families in the U.S. live in multigenerational households. Twenty-nine percent of Asian-Americans live in such situations—followed closely by Latinos and African-Americans. All three groups are almost twice as likely as whites to make these plans (16 percent of whites share a home with adults of other generations). In our family, it’s a tradition. When I was a child, my widowed grandmother lived with us, caring for my younger brother, older sister, and me while my parents pursued their American dreams. Together, we learned English from television, shouting “A new car!” along with Bob Barker on The Price Is Right. My grandmother connected us to our ancestral language

56 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

C O U R T E S Y O F VA N E S S A H U A

W H E N W E A N NOU NC E D

BIG DAYS

R E L AT I N G

ARE RIPE

WITH POTENTIAL

and culture, teaching us Mandarin through stories and song. She grew rock candy on a string and fried up savory pink, white, and green shrimp chips. No matter how bewildering the outside world could be, when we returned from school, she was waiting for us, ready with a snack. Within days of our arrival in the Bay Area, my mother began establishing customs of her own. One morning before she left for work, she put on a samba CD and danced with her grandsons in the kitchen, raising her arms and stomping her feet. Didi and Gege—their nicknames in Mandarin, for “little brother” and “big brother”—copied her, united by the beat that spanned cultures, continents, and generations. “The way they giggle lifts my day,” she said, her face brightening, sunshine after her solitary sorrow. Decades earlier, when my grandmother had moved in, she deferred to my parents in every way, timing her schedule to their routines and keeping her belongings in her room. But when my husband and I settled into my mother’s house, we had to ask permission to impose our order on hers. Trying to get rid of clutter, I bagged up a dusty stack of unopened DVDs, including Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Sound of Music. My mother snatched them back. “I might want to watch it.” “We can get any movie you want on Netﬂix,” I said. I caught myself reverting, acting like a teenager again, curt and sighing with irritation. “I don’t want this house to lose its history,” she said. She had few mementos from her life before she’d arrived in this country, and maybe the DVDs reminded her of my father, who had loved musicals, their soaring songs and their hero’s journey that mirrored the promise and perils of coming to America. I let it go and retreated to my bedroom, where the Pink Silly String clinging to the popcorn ceiling—left in the wake of youthful shenanigans at least two decades prior—annoyed me more. “Be patient,” my husband said. She and I were both learning how to make room for each other, and both grieving for the man whose presence we felt keenly in the airy house he had designed. In time, we would hang framed photos that had languished in storage, repaint our bedrooms, buy a couch, and install new lighting in the playroom—decorating touches my husband and I had control over and helped us settle in. But that would come much later.

BIG FOOD

THE SUMMER AFTER

FOR

BIG DAYS

we moved in, we visited Tilden Park and its thousands of acres of redwood and eucalyptus trees spread over the Berkeley Hills. I invited my mother along because I didn’t want her to feel left out. Often she joined; sometimes she didn’t. Living in the same house, we were ﬁguring out when to integrate and when to remain independent, when she needed a ride or could manage on her own. We boarded a miniature steam train that chugged through shady groves. As we passed a vista point, the azure bay glimmering far below, my mother said, “I love this.” A rare compliment from a woman who bluntly observes what she thinks falls short. Though she and my father had loved to travel, his Parkinson’s had limited their explorations. Now she was ﬁnding her way back into the world. That afternoon, when we visited the park’s carousel, the bobbing, gilt-trimmed giraffes and roosters on brass poles and tooting organ mesmerized her.

FILL UP

R E L AT I N G

FOR

BIG DAYS

Whenever I’m vexed about sharing space with my mom, husband, and kids, the feeling passes after I step back to

BIG FOOD FOR

BIG DAYS

Maybe she could ride with Didi in the wooden sled? He was too scared to go alone. Yes, she said. She paused, adding that she’d someday like to climb on a carousel animal by herself. “I’ve never ridden one.” As we began to spin, the colors blurring around us, I thought about how my mother had grown up in China and Taiwan in the scarcity of war and its aftermath, not in the abundance my family and I enjoyed now. I admired her free spirit, freer now than when she was a student, engrossed in school, and then a scientist, immersed in her work. She’s always had a sense of play and adventure that I found inspiring, that I inherited, that I wanted burning in me decades from now, and in my sons too. “I love the sound of their voices,” she told me as they chattered over their cereal. Not just the high sweet sound, but also the vitality that keeps everyone in our house on the go all day long. Reclusive no longer, she started a science and technology scholarship and, at 80 now, remains at her own lab and volunteers at community events on the weekend. Whenever I’m vexed about sharing space, the feeling passes after I step back to consider what’s best for our family. Every day, certain traits or habits of the boys remind me of my father—his unruly cowlicks, his engineer’s mind—comforting me and my mother and giving us hope for the future. We travel side by side, if not always in step, an impossible feat if we’d lived far apart. On the Fourth of July, my friend, the daughter of Vietnamese refugees, and I had a playdate for our widowed mothers. Hers had recently moved in with her. While we hung out on our deck with our husbands and the children made mischief upstairs, our mothers retreated into the kitchen, away from the mosquitoes and heat. We bustled in to eavesdrop, amused, but hopeful too. ABOUT “Vietnamese, Chinese, I can’t tell the difference,” my mother T H E AU T H O R said, trying to forge a connection. “They are the same!” Vanessa Hua is a columnist for the “We are both old,” my friend’s mother said. “We have a San Francisco lot in common.” Chronicle and the The conversation, stilted at ﬁrst, eased into discussions author of A River of Stars and Deceit about family histories and various ailments, and it seemed and Other Possibiliwhat they shared mattered more than what they didn’t. ties. She has As twilight deepened, my friend asked her mother if she received the Rona Jaffe Foundation was ready to go. Writers’ Award, “Not yet,” she said. among others. The grandmothers watched the ﬁreworks streaking across the television screen while my friends and I stayed outside, wrapped in blankets against the evening chill and listening to the distant giggles and shouts of our children—with time enough and world enough, for a while longer.

58 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

COURTESY OF ANDRIA LO

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EARTHF R I E N D LY

R E L AT I N G

Modern Manners R E A L S I M P L E ’ S E T I Q U E T T E E X P E R T, C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N , O F F E R S HER BEST ADVICE ON YO U R S O C I A L Q UA N DA R I E S.

M.K. ASKS…

We purchased an empty lot in an established neighborhood and are building a new home. A neighbor across the street approached my husband angrily stating that they don’t want our monstrosity there and going on about us not asking them, etc. It has made us very uncomfortable now when we go to check the progress of the build. We want to be good neighbors, and I’m wondering if there is anything we can do to introduce ourselves to neighbors (including the angry ones) that will be good for all parties.

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My 2-year-old nephew hits and throws things, and he cries if anyone says no to him. My sisterin-law, his mother, just laughs. How can I make him stop hitting me without making her feel I’m criticizing her parenting? Any suggestions?

ABOUT C AT H E R I N E The author of One Mixed-Up Night, Catastrophic Happiness, and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

A friend once said to my son, about her own young child, “Biting you is how he says hello!” (Sigh.) But this is not your child to parent, and not your parenting to improve. You do, however, get to decide that hurting you is unacceptable—because it is. Ask your sisterin-law to strategize with you: “It’s not OK for him to hit me. Do you want to intervene, or should I set boundaries with him myself?” If it’s the latter, your modeling of clear limits may do both mother and child a service. And if it’s the former, at least she’ll have to take action. If she won’t consent to either, then you can choose to spend less time with them, and remind yourself that this is probably a phase—and that even well-disciplined toddlers can be nightmares of incivility.

I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y Yo c o N a g a m i y a

C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y U L I K N Ö R Z E R

You bought and are building on a lot that was sold for that purpose, so it’s not as if you’re violating conservation land or breaking zoning laws. That said, if your house is not in keeping with the scale of your new neighborhood (the word “monstrosity” makes me wonder), then the resentment is somewhat predictable. Plus, compared with the quiet of an undeveloped tract of land, the construction chaos might feel irksome. Do what you can to make amends. Assuming you have the means, consider giving folks on the street a gift card to a local movie theater with a note that says, “We can’t wait to be part of this community in a less disruptive way! In the meantime, please take a little break from all the noise.” Once you move in, just be the kind of trustworthy, considerate neighbor you hope they’ll be in return (e.g., no mowing at midnight).

L .G. A S K S …

T. R . A S K S …

My husband and I frequently have dinner with my mother-in-law. Her job as a real estate agent requires her to answer messages at all hours, but it has gotten to the point where she will be in the middle of a sentence and then answer her phone and put her “in a minute” finger up. She’ll answer a text in the middle of a conversation and just stop midsentence. I really try to be understanding, but it just seems rude to me. I’d ask my husband for help, but sometimes he is just as bad. How can I bring this up to her without hurting her feelings? Your side note is troubling—I’m worried more about your marriage than your mother-in-law. But let’s start with her: How does someone with a sales job come to act as though she’s negotiating life-and-death decisions in the ER? (Don’t ask her—I’m just musing aloud.) If you want to be gentle, say, “I’m greedy for your attention! What can we do about the phone situation?” Or address the issue with your husband in front of her, starting with my favorite shared-responsibility preamble: let’s. “Let’s commit to checking our phones less tonight! I don’t want us all to be so distracted when your mom is here.” If your MIL (or husband) is in the middle of something so pressing that this won’t work, she should reschedule.

K.B. ASKS…

I recently attended a workshop for human resource professionals (of which I am one) that encouraged us to sever social media ties with colleagues due to the potential for TMI and the potential for that TMI to influence treatment at work. I think it makes sense for me to disengage from my coworkers online to have the best chance of ensuring a fair relationship with them. The question is, How do I do this tactfully so as not to damage relationships, considering I work with these people every day?

The lines between professional and personal have never been blurrier, but your situation seems fairly straightforward. I would send an email that says, “In the interest of fairness and discretion, HR has been encouraged to give up social media relationships with coworkers, and I am complying with that directive. Please don’t be offended if you notice that I’ve unfriended you.” It’s trickier for those of us outside of human resources, who might consider just accepting all friend requests from coworkers and clients while keeping in mind that social media may not be the best place to discuss our hangovers or anarchy club. Whatever you do, don’t be deceived into imagining that privacy settings will protect you: Because of screenshots, liking, and sharing, they can’t.

HAVE AN E TIQUE T TE QUE STION? Submit your social conundrums to modernmanners@realsimple.com. Selected letters will be featured on these pages every month.

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R E L AT I N G

The Tools

P LU S H PA D

This cozy oasis is made of a supportive foam, and its machine-washable cover withstands most bites and scratches. TO BUY: Casper dog bed, starts at $125; casper.com.

Pet Tricks H O W D O YO U D E A L W I T H A N I G H T O W L ? W H AT ’ S T H E R I G H T B E D ? O U R E X P E R T S H A V E T H E A’ S T O A L L Y O U R P E T S L E E P Q ’ S . By Juno DeMelo

Set Them Up for Success

Animals and humans have different sleep patterns. Dogs may doze when you do but wake briefly—up to 24 times in an eight-hour period. Hamsters and certain snakes are nocturnal, while cats and rabbits are crepuscular. This means they’re most active at twilight, so plan to spend time with them at dawn and dusk. Overnight, rabbits should be kept in a secure enclosure measuring at least eight square feet or in a room that’s been rabbit-proofed, with enticing electrical cords and houseplants out of reach.

Dogs do best with beds, cats like to have a place to perch, and other pets, like guinea pigs and reptiles, need a hideout. Reptiles should also have UVB and basking lights during the day and an alternative source of warmth, like a heating pad or ceramicheat emitter, at night. Since light can disturb parrots’ sleep, turn off the TV, computer, and anything else that casts a glow in the room they sleep in. The exception is cockatiels: They can get night frights, so a night-light may help.

Test Things Out A new study suggests that a dog’s presence in the bedroom may not be disruptive to human sleep, as previously thought. But if he disturbs your sleep, transition him to his own bed by giving him treats and praise whenever he lies down in it. Have a cat who’s waking you up before your alarm goes off? Try an automatic feeder so she can help herself to breakfast. If you’re worried that your pet may have sleep issues, schedule an appointment with your vet, as there could be an underlying health problem.

O U R E X P E RT S BARBARA HEIDENREICH, ANIMAL TRAINER AND BEHAVIORAL CONSULTANT, BARBARA’S FORCE FREE ANIMAL TRAINING, AUSTIN, TE XAS PATRICK MAHANEY, VMD, CALIFORNIA PE T ACUPUNCTURE AND WELLNES S INC., LOS ANGELES KRISTIN CLARICOATES VALDES, DVM, CHICAGO E XOTIC S ANIMAL HOSPITAL , CHICAGO

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AU T O F E E D E R

When the timer goes off, this smart-feeder tray rotates to reveal a pieshaped segment that holds up to a cup of kibble. TO BUY: PetSafe 5-Meal Automatic Pet Feeder, $70; petco.com.

NOISE CANCELER

If your pet wakes when he hears squirrels on the roof or your neighbor’s barking dog, put this machine near his bed to help mask noise with one of 20 soothing sound settings. TO BUY: LectroFan, $50; amazon.com.

G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

Understand Their Needs

{MaKeA}

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R E L AT I N G

Why You Should Treat Your Family Like Strangers I T ’ S A L L T O O E A S Y T O H AV E A S H O RT F U S E W I T H T H E O N E S W E L O V E . TIME TO DISARM. By Jennifer King Lindley

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Illustrations by Federica Bordoni

YO U A R E T H E S O U L

of forbearance with the prattling colleague in the next cubicle. You shine thousand-watt charm on the eye-rolling teen who bags your groceries. Then you arrive home. Your son has left the ketchup out. Again. Hellﬁre rains upon him. It is a truth universally acknowledged: We are often most impatient, angriest, and least compassionate toward those we should be kindest to—our supposed loved ones. (“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family,” wrote spiritual teacher Ram Dass.) Partners, parents, sibs, kids—all can receive an outsize portion of our ire. “We feel free to be ourselves around those we are closest to,” says Joyce Marter, a Chicago-based psychotherapist with Refresh Mental Health. “But it’s not good when we don’t offer them basic kindness and respect.” After all, snapping may be satisfying in the moment, but a pattern of it can corrode relationships, say experts. And it rarely achieves much. (When was the last time a bitchfest resulted in no more dishes left in the sink ever again?) It’s not just your imagination: A 2014 review in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science found that those we are closest to are indeed the most common target of our “everyday aggression,” such as yelling, heated confrontations, and hurtful gossip. Why? For starters, “you have a lot more skin in the game,” says Alexandra Solomon, PhD, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, and the author of Loving Bravely. Your life is so intertwined that their actions affect

and thus irk you much more than those of a stranger. “At times we can feel victimized by partners, parents, and kids, and believe they are intentionally doing stuff to us, even if their motivations have nothing to do with us at all,” she says. You perceive their being late as an insult, not a sign that traffic was heavier than usual. Another reason: We feel exposed. “They see all of us, including our worst. That can be scary. We take our vulnerability and turn it into pissiness,” says Solomon. We may also just stop trying when we’re around them. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology compared short interactions between long-term partners to how the same people acted with strangers. Subjects were far more positive and cheerful with the stranger and enjoyed the interactions more. That’s because we rally to put our best face forward with those we don’t know. We don’t waste that charm on our loved ones. Families are complicated. Sometimes anger is totally justiﬁed. But in many cases, a crotchety default has just become a reﬂex, say experts. “Our behavior with family members is some of the most habitual, and some of these habits may cause problems. And with practice, you can make compassion a habit too,” says Helen Weng, PhD, an assistant professor of psychiatry and a clinical psychologist and neuroscientist at the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of California, San Francisco. Learning to pause and react with more kindness in the

following common ﬂash points can be a ﬁrst step in bringing your best self— or at least not your worst self—to your closest relationships. When you do, says John Kim, a licensed therapist and the founder of theangrytherapist.com, “you are not giving the other person a freebie or a gift. Practicing compassion helps you grow.”

Your spouse forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. He had one job! This, of course, is not about your missing dress. You see the omission as a symbol for all the times you’ve done way more than your share. His mother clearly waited on him hand and foot! So you may feel like letting it rip. “Anger is an entitled emotion. It says to us, ‘This situation has to be dealt with right now,’ ” says Solomon. But it’s much more productive to wait until you have calmed down to respond. (A quick reboot: Take a deep breath, then exhale to the count of six. Repeat until steam stops wafting from your ears.) Taking time to decompress activates the prefrontal cortex, the thinking part of your brain, so you can react more effectively. Then try zooming out and thinking about the incident by adopting the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for you both, Solomon advises. Think, “When he forgets, she feels like she is alone with no one to help. He loves her but was totally distracted by a work crisis.” Adopting this viewpoint helps you stop seeing the other person as the warring camp. A kinder, more constructive conversation that may actually lead to change becomes possible.

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R E L AT I N G

Your teen must have gotten that DIY piercing just to tick you off!

Your dad keeps giving you unsolicited career advice. He clearly thinks you are an idiot or a baby. Though you are old enough to have kids of your own, you still crave your parents’ approval and bristle at their judgment. So even well-intentioned comments may trigger you, says Barbara Greenberg, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Fairﬁeld County, Connecticut. Yes, you may itch to blast Dad an eye-peeling reply after he forwards you yet another LinkedIn contact. Instead, ask yourself, “Can I think of a more generous interpretation of his actions? He loves me and is trying his best to be helpful.” “Assuming the best intentions in others, including your family members, can save you a lot of anxiety,” says Greenberg. That doesn’t mean you have to accept his help if you don’t want it. Redirect his urge by asking for his advice in a more benign arena, she suggests: “Why do you think my car is making that weird sound?” As he peers under the hood, shower him with thanks to make him feel useful and appreciated. This mental switch is easiest when you’re practicing good self-care, says Amie Gordon, PhD, a social psychologist at the University of California, San Francisco. “If you are hungry, tired, or stressed, you may be more likely to interpret other people’s actions negatively. You are vigilant for threats.” This is especially true if you see your loved one mostly on lightning-rod occasions, like at wine-soaked holiday meals. Escape for a walk as needed.

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“Our kids mirror back to us who we were at that age, so our own issues from the past get kicked up,” says Solomon. “‘You might think, ‘I was never allowed to do that!’ or ‘OMG, she is going down the same road I did!’ ” Before you start barking, realize there’s the situation—then there’s the story you are telling yourself about it. It is the story that’s likely inﬂaming you. “In your mind, she is next going to get full sleeve tattoos, she will never be able to get a job, and you will only see her during visiting hours on Sundays,” says Marter. To cool down and react with more kindness, try some cognitive reframing. Assess what the facts of the immediate situation are, right here, right now. “She got one piercing. That is normal: Teenagers are breaking away and becoming their own person, experimenting with self-expression.” Changing your thoughts can change your emotions, allowing you to approach her with more calm. Try discussing her choice with real curiosity: “I’m interested why you did that.” And remember how hard it was to be a teen—she may have done it to look cool to her judgy peers. Says Marter: “Empathy is the magic wand in relationships. Feeling understood defuses conﬂict of all kinds.”

Your elderly mother-in-law just asked you for the eighth time what you’re making for dinner. It. Is. Not. Even. Noon. Yet. First, remember she is not doing this just to make you feel trapped in a bad remake of Groundhog Day. “It is extremely trying to have someone ask you the same question over and over. That’s a very common behavior in dementia. Understand she is doing so because she has no memory of asking you the ﬁrst time,” says Jo McCord, a family consultant at the Family Caregiver Alliance at the National Center on Caregiving. Your frustration can also spring from your own feelings of grief: “It can be very painful to see someone you used to have wonderful conversations with so diminished. This can make your own reaction more intense,” says McCord. If you’re losing it, retreat to that unimpeachable sanctuary, the bathroom, for a few minutes to regroup, she suggests (just make sure your relative is safe and knows you’re stepping away for a moment). Other techniques: “If she can still read, you can write the menu or the doctor’s appointment time on a whiteboard and point to it

“Practice self-compassion first. When you soften to yourself, you naturally soften to others.”

when she asks. Or distract her to get her off her train of thought: ‘Let’s have some nice tea!’ ” If you’re feeling guilty about not being Mother Teresa in this tough situation, start by showing yourself some kindness. “Practice self-compassion first,” says Susan Piver, a Buddhist teacher and the author of The Four Noble Truths of Love. “Talk to yourself as you would a friend. It can be as simple as saying to yourself out loud when you are feeling overwhelmed, ‘I am with you.’ When you soften to yourself in that way, you naturally soften to others.” It is also much easier to react with compassion when you can ﬁnd commonality with the other person. “Ask yourself, ‘Have I ever been needy? Have I ever asked too much of someone? Well, yeah!’ ” says Piver. “That stops making the situation feel like an us versus them.” Gordon suggests having a go-to mantra for moments when you’re feeling your most impatient. “I use ‘Am I being kind in this moment?’ It can help make a gentler response more automatic.”

Your adult sister takes forever to return texts and rarely initiates her own. You are crazy busy too, yet you make time to reach out. “With siblings, we regress. We become 12 years old again and feel the same conﬂicts. You may remember feeling unseen or being in her shadow,” says Greenberg. Resist shooting her a string of frown emojis. “You maybe have a vision of how you think a sister should act,” says Kim (like the idea that a good big sister should be your closest conﬁdant). “Try to take that label off the relationship. Being more compas-

Find a checklist to help you keep your cool, no matter what, at realsimple.com/staycalm.

sionate is about appreciating people for who they actually are.” She may not crave the same level of day-to-day closeness, but she was the ﬁrst one there for your last true emergency. “It helps me to think of people as unique species,” says Kim. “Some of us are giraffes. Some of us are lions. You can’t expect a giraffe to act like a lion. They are very different creatures.” To take some pressure off so you feel kinder, think about how you can get those needs met somewhere else, suggests Weng. If you hoped for a sister who could always be a shoulder to lean on, for example, can you ﬁnd that support in a close friend?

Even in imperfect relationships (and aren’t they all?), there is still room for gratitude, says clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, PhD, a senior editor at PsychAlive. “In looking for slights and failings, we often forget to scan our loved ones for what they are doing right or tell them what we do appreciate about them,” she says. Doing so is a powerful way to boost compassion. So think about a wonderful memory you have had with her— then go ahead and text her some heart-eye emojis.

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P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y C H L O E D A L E Y. C U S T O M - M A D E A N D E M B R O I D E R E D E Y E M A S K B Y J E A N N E D O W N I N G J E S K A

W O R K , M O N E Y, A N D H E A L T H ADVICE FOR BUSY PEOPLE

Wake Up! T H I S - R E A L LY- W O R K S S T R A T E G I E S T O S H A K E O F F T H A T T I R E D F E E L I N G F O R G O O D By Sara Gaynes Lev y

P h o t o g r a p h s b y Te d + C h e l s e a C a v a n a u g h

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of feeling low on energy: You don’t sleep enough, so you wake up crabby and fatigued, with no desire to eat well or exercise. By 4 p.m., you’re so sapped that you can barely function. “All these elements are totally intertwined” when it comes to energy, says Josiane Broussard, PhD, an assistant professor of health and exercise science at Colorado State University in Fort Collins. “You’re less likely to power through your tiredness to go to the gym and make better food choices and then get better sleep.” So before you know it, the whole cycle starts again. It’s happened to nearly all of us, and it is not fun. But it is ﬁxable—you just have to know where to start. The best way to feel powered up and alert all day long, experts say, is to use the three building blocks of energy: Start by focusing on your sleep, then examine your food choices, and ﬁnally work on including some exercise in your day. You’ll be bounding through the afternoon in no time.

First, We Sleep There’s no shortcut for this one. “Quantity and quality of sleep is one of the best predictors of energy,” says James Maas, PhD, a sleep consultant and the author of Sleep for Success! Everything You Must Know About Sleep but Are Too Tired to Ask. And sadly, many of us are skimping on this crucial energy resource. “We treat sleep as a luxury, and it is anything but,” says Maas. “I’d estimate that most Americans get an hour less than they need to have the energy they require.” Give yourself permission to put sleep on top of your to-do list. “If you have to choose between sleep and something else [like ﬁtting in a workout], lead with sleep,” says Broussard. “If you’re too tired to exercise, you might not get a great workout. If you’re tired, you might also be eating crappy food.” And all of that drags you back down.

Good rest, on the other hand, helps set you up for success. To work more sleep into your schedule, start small: Try moving your bedtime up by 15 minutes each night, suggests Maas, until you make it through the whole day without feeling that telltale drag. Another way to ﬁnd your body’s ideal schedule is to try this the next time you’re on vacation: On the third or fourth night, when you’re starting to feel relaxed and you’ve made up any sleep debt you might have gone into the trip with, go to bed whenever you feel tired. Wake up without an alarm. “That’s your true sleep need,” says Broussard. “For most people it’s

Give yourself permission to put sleep on the top of your to-do list. Good rest helps set you up for success.

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a lot more than they think. Even though you might think you’re doing OK, there’s some impairment that you’re not able to see.” Once you’ve ﬁgured out the amount of sleep you need, you can work on the quality of your rest. Do your best to go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning—yes, even on the weekends. If you have a random schedule, “your body never knows when to shut down,” says Maas. “You’ll feel jet-lagged without leaving home.” And check your sleep environment: Make your room as dark as possible, keep the temperature cool (shoot for 65 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit), and invest in bedding you love—you really want to be comfortable. “Even if you have a $50,000 mattress, if you have a not-great pillow, you can get a bad night’s sleep,” says Maas. Also, you already know this, but it’s a hard habit to break: Avoid screen time in the hour before bed.

Next, Tweak the Diet Whether or not you’re sleeping enough, food is a crucial part of the energy equation. If you’re sleep-deprived, your body will often crave foods that offer quick energy (translation: sugar) to make up for it. But even if you’re sleeping just ﬁne, you could feel low energy because you aren’t eating frequently enough, explains Marjorie Nolan Cohn, a registered

FOOD ST YLING BY SUE LI; PROP ST YLING BY CHLOE DALEY

dietitian and a spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. Her recommendation is to go no longer than four hours between meals. “So if lunch is at noon and dinner is at eight, you need a mini meal in between.” That said, try not to eat too late at night. “From what we know, eating at night can negatively affect your metabolism, leading to higher glucose and lipid levels, both of which are risk factors for diabetes,” says Broussard. We also get better rest if we don’t go to bed on a full stomach, so try to have dinner as early as you can, shooting for your last meal of the day to wrap up at least two hours before you go to sleep. Each time you eat—even the mini meals!—have a mix of protein, fat, and carbs to help prevent your blood sugar from spiking and then plummeting. In other

words, an apple is great, but it’s not enough. Have it with nut butter or cottage cheese, and you’ll feel much better for much longer. Food choices can also be used to boost your energy over time (not just immediately after you eat), explains Cohn. Anything high in antioxidants, like berries and pomegranates, can build longterm wellness by working to neutralize free radicals in your body. “Free radicals are a stressor to the body, and over time that stress can build up, compromise the immune system, and have a systemic effect on how you feel,” she says. When it comes to beverages, there’s great news: Caffeine is not evil. Coffee is definitely OK— in fact, if you have a cup 20 to 30 minutes before an important

task or meeting, the alertness can help you collaborate better and produce more focused work, research has shown. “We found people are more focused in their discussion of a target topic after consuming coffee,” says Vasu Unnava, PhD, an adjunct assistant professor at the Graduate School of Management at the University of California, Davis, who recently studied coffee’s effects on teamwork. (Just try to keep that meeting before 2 p.m., since consuming caffeine in the afternoon can negatively impact sleep, says Maas.) Matcha is also growing in popularity and provides a caffeine boost that many fans say comes without a crash. “Plus, matcha has a higher antioxidant level than coffee [though both choices have them], and the energy boost is more sustaining due to the amino acid L-theanine, which can have a calming effect,” says Cohn. Lastly, make sure that you are remembering to drink, since dehydration can be a sneaky cause of sagging energy. “The primary side effects of dehydration are fatigue, feeling foggy, sore muscles, and mild to severe cramping,” says Cohn. If you notice any of those symptoms, try grabbing a glass of water ﬁrst.

When You Can, Exercise The final piece of the energy puzzle is exercise: If you have time, getting your heart rate up is an almost guaranteed way to shake you out of a slog. “Exercise brings the hormones that are responsible for our fight-or-flight reaction to

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Let go of the idea that you have to exercise for 30 minutes for it to count.

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the party. They push fatigue to the side and say to your body, ‘You don’t have time to be tired right now,’ ” says Sabrena Jo, the director of science and research content for the American Council on Exercise. “Even if you don’t feel like it, just the act of getting started can set that reaction in motion.” Go for a walk, do some squats in your cubicle, pop into a quick plank pose. Let go of the idea that it needs to be 30 minutes to count. Anything counts, for any amount of time, Jo says. (The American

Heart Association’s guidelines recommend 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week, but don’t let that number deter you: Doing as much as you can, when you can, will still give you a benefit.) You may be thinking that exercise takes too much of that alreadyscarce energy, but in reality, the more often you work out, the more efficient your muscles become. “So it takes more for you to become fatigued in the first place,” says Jo. And the more endurance you have, the better equipped you are to make it through those marathon days. Exercise can help you sleep better too: Just experiment to figure out the best timing for you. Jo says some people find that exercise at the end of the day leaves them the perfect amount of exhausted by bedtime, whereas some people feel too revved up by it and do better with an a.m. session. “Even a 10-minute walk in the morning and 10 minutes at night works. You don’t have to go to the gym or even change out of your clothes,” says Jo. You can even use movement to wind down before bed: “Lying on your back with your legs up the wall [for a few minutes] is great for calming down,” says Joanna Cohen, an instructor at Y7, a yoga studio in New York City. “Combine it with deep breathing to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help your body prepare for sleep.” When you’re done, climb in bed and get ready to actually jump out the next morning.

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How to Share the Cost of Almost Anything C O - O P S A L L O W F R I E N D S T O S AV E M O N E Y A N D T I M E O N S H O P P I N G , C O O K I N G , B A BY S I T T I N G, A N D M O R E . N O W O N D E R T H E Y ’ R E C AT C H I N G O N . By Jessica Thomas

Illustrations by Abbey Lossing

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C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R

Alex Davis was at book club 12 years ago in Boise, Idaho, when she overheard two members discussing a meal share they belonged to: “I was nursing a newborn and had a toddler at home, and I was like, Wait, what? There’s a way that you would cook me something and bring it to my house? I turned to my friends and said, ‘Guys, we have to try this.’ ” Before long, a group of three families had formed their own dinner co-op. Once a week, they each cooked enough for the whole group, divided it into family-size portions, and walked the freshly made food to one another’s houses. Just like that, everyone’s meal planning, cooking, and the bulk of the kitchen cleanup were done. The benefits were immediate: Their reliance on spendy takeout plummeted, food waste dropped, and dining quality improved. Instead of having to shop for multiple meals in a week, “you take one recipe and you go for it,” Davis says. Some members loved the money savings these efforts brought to their bottom line, but for Davis, it was the quality of the meals she received and the care and preparation she was able to devote to the recipes she contributed that were most valuable. “With the money I saved in not wasting food, I could get better ingredients,” she says. A cooperative is an organization that is owned and run by its members, who share the profits or benefits generated. Natural-food stores, financial credit unions, and even some large retailers like REI are familiar examples of co-ops that share profits with their membership. But co-ops can also be run by small groups of individuals like Davis and her friends.

76 R E A L S I M P L E F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 9

At the least, co-ops afford an opportunity for ﬁnancial savings. At the most, they can lead to stronger communities for the cost of just a few hours of cooking, housekeeping, or keeping an eye on the kids. Use these four tips to identify where to start and how to succeed at co-op living.

Pick the Right Task to Co-op Life is full of responsibilities that would be great to simplify or optimize. The challenge is identifying tasks that have a high probability for success under a co-op model. It’s best to ﬁnd a frustration you share with others near you. For Trent Hamm, founder of personal-ﬁnance website the Simple Dollar, it was the challenges of being a retail club member. “A couple that lived near us was having some of the same bulk-buying issues that we were,” Hamm says.

“Buying 36 rolls of toilet paper at once might save you money per roll, but where do you keep all of them?” So Hamm organized a bulk-buying co-op. “Our food and household spending went down about 15 percent from the previous year,” says Hamm. Opening a dialogue with neighbors and friends can quickly identify common needs that would be easily managed together. “If you alone can’t execute the life you want, you have two choices: Lower your standards, or team up and do some time shifting,” says Davis, who suggests that nearly every corner of life provides opportunities to save money, time, and often both: buying clothing or decor, carpooling, housecleaning, doing laundry.

Find the Best Co-op Members Co-ops operate on trust, so identifying reliable and honest members is important. Hamm’s group worked among friends, so there was a “high cost for breaking trust.” You might look around for co-op members at volunteer organizations, places of worship, or school groups, which can attract selﬂess, organized people. Or consider book clubs, parenting groups, and other meet-ups of like-minded people who may have similar needs. The ideal co-op size depends on how many committed members you can gather, but know that, as in any group activity, the more people there are in a co-op, the more

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organizing you’ll need. Start small. Davis recommends doing a compatibility survey, and she provides one in her book, Dinner at Your Door, a resource for running a successful dinner co-op, which she coauthored with two other members of her group, Diana Ellis and Andy Remeis. The survey allows you and your co-op members to set baselines for, say, the kinds of food you can provide and what you expect from others’ cooking. This idea extends to any sort of sharing you might be interested in: Meeting with other prospective members to clarify expectations in writing at the outset will help avoid conﬂict and disappointment in the future.

Get Organized Methods for tracking co-op tasks and activities are as varied as the types of co-oping one can do. Everything from colored note cards with individualized stamps to Excel spreadsheets have been used to track the hours members contribute. Some co-ops rely on annotated church directories or Facebook groups. But new digital tools are making it a little easier to get organized. “There’s an app for everything, but there are moms who are swapping Popsicle sticks to keep track of their co-op?” recalls Audrey Wallace of her and her friend Amy Husted’s efforts to keep track of their childcare co-op. “That’s ridiculous!” Though members of their 10-person babysitting co-op

did 165 sits in their ﬁrst year and saved about $10,000 total, running it was a logistical headache. So in February 2017, the Akron, Ohio, women launched Komae, an app that allows users to swap sits among a trusted group and easily keep track of hours. Now Komae is being used for more than just watching kids. “We saw a sit request come through where the person added a note about their ‘child’ that instructed the potential sitter to ‘give kibble, take on walk, and scratch ears,’ ” says Wallace. “We thought,

‘That’s not a child!’ We’ve had people add their house and ask for housesitting and cleaning.” Keeping track of members’ contributions and withdrawals is a common stumbling block for co-ops, but apps like Komae prove it’s one that can be overcome.

Revel in the Deeper Meaning Most people involved in co-oping join for the money savings but stay for reasons that can’t be quantified, like enjoying being part of a group, helping others, or feeling more creative. Take time to reﬂect on them.

At the least, co-ops afford an opportunity for financial savings. At the most, they can lead to stronger communities for the cost of just a few hours of work.

“When co-ops are run properly, not only do you give, but you get a multiplier back in the process,” says Ari Meisel, a productivity expert in New York City and the author of The Art of Less Doing. “There should be beneﬁts above time and money for a person to feel invested in this type of shared activity.” For Davis, being part of her dinner co-op in Boise has brought new opportunity in the form of writing a cookbook, but it also helped her feel more inspired in the kitchen and at the market. “Making dinners this way really did change my life,” Davis says. “It brought creativity and fun back.”

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ARTIFICIAL COLORS

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M a k i n g I t Wo r k

How do you make time for your significant other? By Jane Por ter

NISHA MIRANI, 30, AND BRENDAN KRAMER, 31, FOUNDERS OF SUNDAY / MONDAY, A TEXTILE BRAND IN NEW YORK CITY

TRACY KIM, 47, CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER AT A APTIV, A FITNES STECH COMPANY IN NE W YORK CIT Y

My wife and I work side by side after our kids go to sleep (luckily they’re good sleepers!). Often she’s grading papers and I’m doing spreadsheets, so even if we can’t be directly interacting, it’s really nice to be close to each other. I think it’s super important for the family to be honest about the implications of our jobs and dreams. This is one way we have figured out that makes this possible.

JUAN PABLO MONTÚFAR, 40, CHIEF FLORAL OFFICER AND COFOUNDER OF THE BOUQS COMPANY, A FLORAL BUSINESS, IN ECUADOR

We like to do little things to brighten up each other’s day when we’re apart. I went on a trip once, and when I came home, my husband had bought me some plants I wanted. I’ll slip little notes into his suit pockets. Those little acts of love put us in a good place even when we aren’t actually together. We also have three kids, and we try to go to places where they can be independent and safe without our having to hover over them so we can have our own alone time.

WENDY ALTSCHULER, 40, T R AVEL W RI T ER A N D ED I TO R I N C H I CAG O

I like to add an extra day to my work trips and spend time with my wife in a city nearby. For example, if we’re working in Oakland, we’ll go a little early and do some things for fun in San Francisco. Because my wife and I work together so often in the restaurant, it’s important to have that extra time together when I can step away from the business, take care of my family, and refresh my mind.

RODNEY SCOT T, 47, PIT MASTER AT RODNEY SCOT T ’S BBQ IN CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA

Make one-on-one time even more meaningful with the tips at realsimple.com/goodrelationships.

80 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Illustration by Andrea Mongia

COURTESY OF E ACH SUB JECT

While we are chopping and cooking, we discuss our days and catch up. When we share a meal, we can have some space for ourselves each night. —Brendan

The way my husband and I have made it work is to create quality family time with our hobbies. Given our work and travel schedules, we don’t have a ton of time during the week for something like a date night. But both of us love the New York Times crossword and spend time competing against each other to finish it first. We also have a personal trainer who comes and works with us both— and our 11-yearold son joins as well, so we make that a family activity.

We love cooking Indian food at home because it’s a long and loving process. We toast the spices, and it makes our home smell delicious and feel nice and cozy. Every Sunday, we go to our local farmers’ market and drop off our compost and shop for the week. —Nisha

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FLEXIBILITY IS ONE

Ask for (and Get) a Flexible Schedule N I N E - T O - F I V E D O E S N ’ T A L W AY S W O R K F O R L I F E I N 2 0 1 9. H E R E , E X P E RT S T E L L H O W T O C R A F T

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A BE T TER SE TUP—AND PER SUADE Y O U R B O S S T O S AY Y E S . By Kathleen M. Harris

of the benefits most coveted by all of today’s workers—whether they’re women or men, parents or not. “It’s not just a mom issue. It affects everyone,” says Sara Sutton, CEO and founder of FlexJobs, a service for remote and flexible jobs. Research from Werk, a startup that champions flexible work, found that flex workers are twice as likely to be happy in their roles and half of workers plan to leave their job if they don’t have flexible options. “Smart organizations recognize that it’s crucial today to offer flexible options in order to retain and attract top talent,” says Sutton. Whether there’s a policy in place or you’re asking to set a precedent, here’s how to do it.

Decide what you need. What are the pain points in your work life that you’re trying to remedy? Maybe you have a three-hour commute, or you’re a morning person and burned out by 3 p.m. Or it’s stressful for you to miss family dinner. Maybe you’re an introvert and your office’s open ﬂoor is too distracting. “Be critical about what kind of flexibility you need to be successful in your role,” says Annie Dean, cofounder

and co-CEO of Werk. Think through the logistics too. Can you work less than full-time and still meet your expenses? Will you still get beneﬁts at part-time? If you’re proposing remote work, do you have a professional place to go? “Working at the kitchen table if you have young children or a busy household may not work,” says Kathryn Sollmann, author of Ambition Redeﬁned.

Be honest about your work habits. Think about your work style. “Working from home is a much less energy-charged environment,” says Sollmann. “You don’t have that feeling of people stopping by all the time.” Will you still be able to be creative? How easily do you get distracted—are you going to be drawn to loading laundry or telling the babysitter what to do? Next, assess if the flexibility you want matches your type of role. “A lot of it really comes down to common sense,” says Sutton. If you work on a closeknit creative team, suggesting 100 percent remote work probably won’t ﬂy. How many meetings do you need to be at? What are the days when everyone tends to stay late? When do your direct reports seem to have the most questions? Create a ﬂexibleschedule request around those parameters.

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

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Prepare your ask.

See what’s already working. Check with human resources about existing flex policies. If there are none, talk to colleagues who may have a casual flexibility arrangement. Ask about their honest experiences, says Sutton. How did they ask for it? What’s their schedule? Does their manager like it? How can you get ahead of any potential backlash? If no one in your company is working in a flexible way, don’t take that as no before you ask. Instead, you need to lead the way and make a very professional pitch for it, says Sollmann.

Gather data to support your flex case. Collect proof points about how a ﬂexible schedule will optimize your work and help you be a better worker. One idea: Track your time. Sutton recommends analyzing your workweek and logging how much time you spend on various tasks, like meetings versus working alone on your computer. You want to be able to say, “After logging my time, I found that 47 percent of my week is spent working independently. I also get interrupted by colleagues 10 percent of that time, so if I work from home one day a week, it would give me a dedicated day to work without interruption and be more productive on tasks or projects I can do independently.”

88 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Be speciﬁc with your request and clear about your proposed hours and expectations. Employers need to be able to anticipate when you’re available, says Sollmann. Focus on the facts and how you’ll be an even more valuable worker. “Don’t make your case overly personal or emotional,” says Dean. Go into the meeting when you’re feeling strong in your role, such as after a successful project.

Anticipate concerns. Think about what your employer’s objections may be and how you can mitigate them. If there’s a crisis on Friday and that’s your day off, how will you address the situation? Stress your work ethic and your communication skills, but also that you are adaptable. If you manage people, present a plan for how you will communicate with the team when you’re remote. Also, ask your boss and team for their thoughts on when it would be most helpful for you to be in the office. Another idea: Pitch a job share. Finding a (backup) partner in crime can alleviate worries that there won’t be anyone in the office. Job shares are less common, but Morgan Tully made it work at a large tech com-

Frame your request as an opportunity for you to deliver better business results.

Be a good flexible worker. pany. Tully and her job-share partner each worked two days a week in the office and then came in together one day a week. That way, someone in her role was always available.

Show your company that flex work is a win for it too. Frame your request as an opportunity for you to deliver better business results. “When it’s about output, not accommodation, it’s easier for a manager to digest,” says Dean. You can say that when you work remotely, you’re more energized and accomplish more (if that’s true). Or, if you start earlier or end later, note that you’ll be able to service clients in different time zones better. Or, maybe opening up a desk space will alleviate some office stress. Movability, a transportation management association in Central Texas, helps private employers develop alternative commute policies, like flexible hours, to avoid traffic congestion. “Companies realize telework policies beneﬁt employers too: Employees miss less work and are less stressed,” says Lisa Kay Pfannenstiel, Movability’s executive director.

If your manager is still hesitant, suggest a trial period. During that time, keep track of your progress and data points to support your claim that it’s working to everyone’s beneﬁt. And take your role as a ﬂexible worker seriously. “Your ability to get your job done will help open doors for other people,” says Sutton. Make it easy for your boss and team. Be proactive about communication: Have scheduled check-ins, pick up the phone to hear coworkers’ voices and have them hear yours, use project management software—any tactics that will showcase your productivity. “Flexibility can give you the opportunity to shine,” says Sutton. “If you’re a great worker, you’re going to be a great worker no matter where.”

Working remotely may have even more upsides— see them at realsimple.com/workfromhome.

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Ahhh... A cup of tea is such an easy way to cleanse the palate, warming the hands and the belly. Why not elevate this simple act to a grounding meditation? Start by heating the water. A watched pot never boils, but observing the temperature gradually rise can be an effective way of slowing down the mind. When the water is ready, pour slowly, watching the tea bag begin to absorb the water. Cupping the mug with both hands, place it under your nose. Take in a deep breath, allowing the steam and the aroma to flood your nostrils. Exhale through your mouth. Repeat until the tea is cool enough to drink, and enjoy the first sip with a renewed sense of calm and alertness.

OFFSET

— E D WA R D J O N E S , wheelandaxle.net

Photograph by Whitney Ott

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

EXPERIMENT WITH COLOR Ingrid Fetell Lee had an easy source of inspiration for her decor: the research from her book, Joyful. Top among her findings was that pops of color energize spaces and people. So she painted an antique bench kelly green to create an immediate impact when you walk in the door.

O P P O S I T E PA G E : A L I S TA I R H A N D B A G I N P O P P Y, $ 3 6 5 ; C L A R E V. C O M . D OT D A S H N AV Y P I L L O W, $ 1 5 9 ; R E B E C C A AT W O O D . C O M . O L I N G R AY S T R I P E D C OT TO N D H U R R I E R U G , $ 1 4 9 ; C R AT E A N D B A R R E L . C O M F O R S I M I L A R . H U N T E R W O M E N ’ S O R I G I N A L TA L L R A I N B O OT S , $ 1 5 0 ; H U N T E R B O OT S . C O M .

a home that makes you smile

I N G R I D F E T E L L L E E L I T E R A L L Y W R O T E T H E B O O K O N J O Y. H E R E ’ S W H A T H E R

R E S E A R C H TA U G H T H E R A B O U T D E C O R A T I N G F O R D E L I G H T .

WRIT TEN BY

E l i za b eth Si l e

PHOTOGR APHS BY

J o h n ny M i l l e r

STYLING BY

S a ra h Sm a r t

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

LIGHTEN UP Ingrid’s research found that seeing and feeling elevation and buoyancy—via things like hot-air balloons, skylights, and tall ceilings— make us feel good. So naturally, she and her husband love the airy nature of this room. They opted against bulky furniture and instead chose lightweight pieces to enhance the vibe. Ingrid cozied up a vintage camp cot with a ﬂuffy duvet and piles of patterned pillows and decorated the window seat with textiles from her travels. Unifying colors keep it all cohesive.

O P P O S I T E PAG E : S H E E P S K I N WO O L T H R O W, $ 1 9 8 ; S E R E N A A N D L I LY. C O M . B R U S H E D ST R I P E D E N I M WOV E N WO O L R U G , $ 8 5 0 ( 5 BY 8 F T. ) ; A N N I E S E L K E . C O M . T H I S PA G E , TO P : B E A C H TO W E L S , F R O M $ 4 8 ; S E R E N A A N D L I LY. C O M . C L A S S I C T R E N C H C O AT I N H OT R E D , $ 2 2 9 , A N D B L U E M OTO J A C K E T, $ 1 7 8 ; B A N A N A R E P U B L I C . C O M F O R S I M I L A R . O L D N AV Y S O F T - B R U S H E D L O N G - L I N E M OTO C O AT, $ 7 0 ; O L D N AV Y. C O M . R A I N S J A C K E T I N Y E L L O W, $ 1 1 0 ; S TO R E . M O M A . O R G .

n July 2017, when Ingrid Fetell Lee and her husband, Albert Lee, bought their three-bedroom home in East Hampton, New York, Ingrid was writing Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness. For 10 years, Ingrid had researched the things that universally bring people joy (that ﬂeeting feeling, different from happiness, that we get seeing a balloon or ﬂowers). Pulling from science and her industrial-design background, Ingrid found that adding more joy—at home, at work, in public spaces—can make us healthier and happier. It was a given that Ingrid and Albert would design their home with joy in mind, adding hits of unexpected color and highlighting their natural surroundings. “I wanted to create little moments that bring me joy as I move through the house,” she says. Ingrid and Albert on the home’s second-floor landing. Right: surprise stripes in a closet. T O B U Y: Paint: Bold Yellow 336; benjaminmoore.com for stores.

“If you want to tr y on col or, inc orp o rate it wi th i tems like ca ndlesticks o r pla y with objects you already own, like bo oks and pillows, and display them in a new way.”

Joyful, $28; aestheticsofjoy.com for stores.

T O B U Y:

F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

“I wa nt p e ople to understand that cre ating joy is not ab out making

C O N N E C T W I T H N AT U R E Outdoor views and greenery have been found to have a positive effect on our health and mood. With that in mind, Ingrid and Albert positioned their bed opposite a dormer window. The view of their backyard’s trees is a daily dose of pleasure. “It’s so nice to wake up and look out at that,” Ingrid says. The couple added pops of bright color, like the antique bench painted ﬂuorescent yellow (a particularly powerful spacebrightening hue because of how it reﬂects light), pillows, and Moroccan rugs, to infuse the room with energy.

96 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Paint on the bench: Lemon Twist SW6969 (similar to shown); sherwin-williams.com for stores. Vintage Moroccan rug; heja home.com for similar. (Opposite page) Paint on the chairs: Irish Clover 2038-20 mixed with Celtic Green 2038-10; benjamin moore.com for stores.

T O B U Y:

TO P : H I G H L A N D S P I L L O W X I I , $ 1 3 0 , A N D B L U E L I G H T W E I G H T T H R O W, $ 1 1 5 ; M E R I D I A N N Y. C O M . M A L A B A R P I L L O W, $ 8 0 ; S H O P S U N DAY M O N DAY . C O M . A S S O R T E D P I L L O W S ; R E B EC C A AT W O O D . C O M . C A S A B L A N C A B O L D S T R I P E T H R O W, $ 3 9 8 ; S E R E N A A N D L I LY. C O M .

your house lo ok like a circus.”

SURPRISE AND DELIGHT

E VA TA S S E L P I L L O W C O V E R , $ 8 8 ; S E R E N A A N D L I LY. C O M F O R S I M I L A R . R A AW I I S T R Ø M VA S E I N F R E E S I A , $ 6 0 ( S M A L L ) ; S TO R E . M O M A . O R G .

Unexpected touches make everyday items feel new each time you use them (like pairing patterned socks with a suit or lining a drawer with bright contact paper); Ingrid added colorful stripes to the seats of wooden dining chairs that she had painted green. Repeating patterns and symmetry also tend to elicit joy (think about how good it feels to organize), so this room’s walls are lined with beadboard. And because people ﬁnd joy in the combination of variety and abundance (picture confetti, or a kid in a candy store), she typically keeps a bowl of fruit on the table.

KIMCHI SOUP WITH TOFU AND BACON

WINTER S PA G H E T T I W I T H GARLIC AND CALABRIAN

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y C H E L S E A Z I M M E R ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

CHILES

B R I N G T H E H E AT When temperatures plummet, these six spicy recipes—which take no more than 15 minutes of hands-on time—are guaranteed to put the color back in your cheeks. R EC I P E S BY

Dawn Perr y

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F E B RUA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

HOT SAUCE CHEDDAR BISCUITS

100 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

GREEN CHILE M E AT B A L L S

SPICY FENNEL FRIED SHRIMP A N D C E L E RY

HOT S AUCE CHEDDAR B I S CUI T S ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES MAKES 12 BISCUITS

3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface

KIMCHI S O UP WITH TOFU AND BACON

1 Tbsp. baking powder

ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES SERVES 4

1 tsp. kosher salt tsp. baking soda 6 Tbsp. cold unsalted butter

4 oz. bacon, chopped (from 4 slices)

6 oz. sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded (about 1 cups)

1 yellow onion, thinly sliced 2 Tbsp. fresh ginger, finely chopped (from a 1-inch piece) 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped 16 oz. kimchi 4 cups vegetable broth

cup whole buttermilk

WINTER SPAGHE T T I WITH GARLIC AND C A L ABRIAN CHILE S ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 15 MINUTES SERVES 4

1 Tbsp. gochujang or kimchi paste 14 oz. silken tofu, torn into pieces

3 Tbsp. kosher salt, for cooking pasta

4 tsp. toasted sesame oil 4 scallions, thinly sliced

12 oz. spaghetti

Freshly ground black pepper

4 Tbsp. olive oil 6 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

bacon in a large heavybottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium, stirring often, until golden and crisp, about 5 minutes. Add onion and cook, stirring often, until softened, about 3 minutes. Add ginger and garlic and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Stir in kimchi and vegetable broth and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. Stir in gochujang. COOK

DIVIDE tofu among bowls and ladle soup over top. Drizzle each bowl with 1 teaspoon sesame oil and top with scallions and several grinds of black pepper.

3 anchovy fillets, finely chopped 3 Tbsp. tomato paste 1

Tbsp. crushed Calabrian chiles in oil

a large pot of water to a boil. Add salt and return to boil. Add spaghetti and cook, stirring occasionally, until al dente, 8 to 10 minutes.

BRING

combine olive oil, garlic, and anchovies in a large skillet over medium. Cook, stirring constantly, until garlic is golden, 4 to 5 minutes. Whisk in tomato paste and chiles. Cook, whisking constantly, until tomato paste is slightly darker, about 1 minute.

MEANWHILE,

3 Tbsp. hot sauce (such as Crystal) oven to 450°F. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl. Grate butter on the large holes of a box grater and add to flour mixture, tossing a few times to coat pieces in flour. Work butter into flour with your fingers until the mixture is mostly crumbly with a few larger pieces remaining. Add cheese and toss to coat. PREHEAT

buttermilk and hot sauce in a separate bowl. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and gradually add the wet ingredients, stirring with a fork until a shaggy dough forms. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and gently knead and fold until dry ingredients are just incorporated. WHISK

dough to a -inch thickness and cut out biscuits using a 2 -inch round cutter, rerolling and cutting scraps once. Place biscuits 2 inches apart on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

ROLL

BAKE, rotating halfway through, until golden and risen, 12 to 15 minutes.

tongs, transfer spaghetti directly from pot to skillet. Add cup of the pasta water and cook, tossing, until liquid is reduced and coats the pasta, about 1 minute.

USING

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SPICY FENNEL FRIED SHRIMP AND CELERY ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 15 MINUTES SERVES 4

GREEN CHILE ME ATBALL S ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES SERVES 4

1 tsp. crushed red pepper 2 tsp. fennel seeds 1 tsp. anise seeds 1

lb. large raw, tail-on shrimp, peeled and deveined

cup cotija cheese, crumbled, plus more for serving

3 Tbsp. cornstarch

cup crushed tortilla chips

4 celery stalks, cut into 1 -in. pieces, leaves reserved for serving

2 Tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro leaves and tender stems, plus more for serving 1

tsp. kosher salt

cup canola oil

1 lemon, cut into wedges, for serving

1 tsp. ground cumin 1 tsp. dried oregano 1 large egg 1 4.5-oz. can chopped green chiles cup plus 2 Tbsp. sour cream, divided 1 lb. ground beef chuck 1 Tbsp. canola oil 1 11-oz. jar salsa verde 1 jalapeño, thinly sliced, for serving Lime wedges, for serving oven to 400°F. Whisk cheese, tortilla chips, cilantro, salt, cumin, oregano, egg, green chiles, and cup of the sour cream in a large bowl. Add beef and, using a fork, stir gently until evenly combined. Shape mixture into 16 (1-inch) meatballs and place in a single layer on a parchment-lined baking sheet. PREHEAT

oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high. Add meatballs and cook until golden brown on the underside, about 3 minutes. Flip meatballs and add salsa verde, gently shaking skillet to help distribute sauce. Transfer skillet to oven and bake until meatballs are just cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes.

HEAT

WHISK remaining 2 tablespoons sour cream and 1 tablespoon water in a small bowl. Drizzle sour cream mixture over meatballs and top with cheese, cilantro, and jalapeño. Serve with lime wedges.

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PL ACE salt and crushed red pepper in a large bowl. Combine fennel and anise seeds on a cutting board and roughly chop. Add chopped seeds to salt mixture and mix to combine. Add shrimp and toss to coat. Add cornstarch and toss until evenly coated.

oil in a large skillet over mediumhigh. Working in 2 batches, add shrimp to skillet in a single layer and cook, turning once, until golden brown and just cooked through, 1 to 2 minutes per side; transfer to a platter. Add celery to skillet and cook, tossing occasionally, until it just begins to brown, about 1 minute. Transfer to the platter with shrimp and top with celery leaves. Serve with lemon wedges.

HEAT

Quick and Spicy Ideas

NACHO P O P CORN ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 MINUTES MAKES 10 CUPS

Lightly spray 10 cups popped popcorn (from cup kernels or 1 3.29-oz. bag) with olive oil cooking spray. Toss with 3 tablespoons nutritional yeast, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, and teaspoon each onion powder, garlic powder, and cayenne pepper in a large bowl until evenly coated. Add up to teaspoon more cayenne for spicier popcorn.

E A SY H OT H O NE Y (Drizzle over pizza, peanut butter, avocado toast, or fried rice.) ACTIVE TIME 10 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 10 MINUTES MAKES CUP

Stir together cup honey, 1 sliced red Fresno chile, and 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar in a small skillet. Bring to a simmer over mediumhigh; reduce heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, 10 minutes. Transfer to a resealable jar and cool completely. Refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.

MAPLE-PEPPER BUT TER (Spread on biscuits or pork chops or toss with roasted veggies.) ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 MINUTES MAKES CUP

Pulse 1 stick ( cup) unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon pure maple syrup, 1 teaspoons coarsely ground black pepper, and teaspoon kosher salt in a food processor until combined. Refrigerate in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.

Q U I C K CH I L E O I L (Spoon over eggs, toss with cooked spaghetti, or drizzle over steamed rice.) ACTIVE TIME 10 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 10 MINUTES MAKES CUP

Combine cup vegetable oil, 2 cloves sliced garlic, 1 sliced shallot, and 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper in a small saucepan. Cook over medium, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 8 minutes. Transfer to a jar and cool completely. Refrigerate covered for up to 2 weeks.

QUICK CHILE OIL

NACHO P OP CORN

MAPLE-PEPPER BUTTER

EASY HOT HONEY

REVIVE TIRED SKIN STEP 2

Depuff Brighten Waking up to refreshed skin after eight-ish hours of uninterrupted sleep is what dreams are made of. But because life often gets in the way, we’ve come up with a few go-to tricks to help liven up sluggish skin on rough mornings. First, reach for a gentle face scrub instead of your regular cleanser. The physical sensation of buffing will help wake your senses and slough off dead skin cells so skin will automatically look healthier. Try Clark’s Botanicals Dual Charcoal Detox ($58; clarksbotanicals.com), which has charcoal powder, fruit extracts, and ginger extract to brighten blah skin. Massage it onto damp skin, then leave it on for a few minutes while you brush your teeth. Rinse with cool water (if you weren’t up yet, now you are), then apply a peptidepacked serum to help plump skin. We like Dr. Jart Peptidin Radiance Serum ($48; sephora.com), which contains eight peptides and peach-flower extract for a quick recharge— even when your battery is drained.

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Make your serum work even better with this one-minute DIY facial massage. In addition to feeling good (ahhh), manipulating your skin with your hands helps rev up blood flow, resulting in a rosy flush. It also helps improve circulation and flushes out excess fluids so you won’t look as puffy— especially helpful after a salty dinner or latenight drinks. Apply a few pumps of serum to your hands, then rub them together. Press your fingers between your brows and slide them up your forehead, repeating a few times. Then, using your fingertips, massage from the center of your face, past your cheeks, and toward your ears. Drop one level lower and repeat the same motion across your jawline.

STEP 3

Enhance When you look tired, your gut reaction might be to do a full face of makeup. But makeup artists advise against it, suggesting a lessis-more approach because piling makeup on dehydrated skin can emphasize pores and lines. Apply a tinted moisturizer with light-reflecting particles, since adding a sheen will make you look more alive. Try It Cosmetics Your Skin but Better CC+ Cream Illuminating SPF 50+ ($38; ulta.com). Instead of highlighter, which can settle in lines, press a light-catching balm like Chanel Baume Essentiel in Transparent ($45; chanel.com) onto cheekbones. It’s what the model is wearing in these photos.

M A K E U P B Y M O A N I L E E ; H A I R B Y S TA C I C H I L D ; S M E A R : J M U C K L E ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

STEP 1

PERK UP PUFFY EYES STEP 1

S M E A R : B R I A N H E N N ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

Soothe Lack of sleep and genetics can contribute to dark circles and puffy undereyes, but we’ve got a few solutions for you to keep up your sleeve. Chill four spoons in your fridge for 15 minutes, then place the round sides of the spoons under your eyes until the metal warms up. If you want to upgrade from spoons (treat yourself!), consider investing in an ice roller, a stainless-steel roller you house in the freezer until you want to roll it over your skin and under your eyes to temporarily depuff. Try StackedSkincare Ice Roller ($30; stackedskincare.com). Or slick on cooling eyegel patches instead. We like Milk Makeup Cooling Water Eye Patches ($22 for six pairs; milkmakeup.com). They’re infused with caffeine to help decrease puffiness and aloe to calm stressed skin, making them the perfect prep step before applying makeup. Finish by tapping on a hydrating eye cream (use your ring finger, the weakest, to avoid tugging the

delicate skin around your eyes). Try Alpyn Beauty PlantGenius Line-Filling Eye Balm ($62; alpynbeauty .com), which has vitamin C to brighten, algae to tighten, and mica to blur imperfections and fill in fine lines short-term.

STEP 2

Conceal While you aim to clock more shut-eye and drink more water, a great concealer, applied correctly, will help you fake it until you make it. Apply concealer after tinted moisturizer—options are endless, but liquid concealer formulas tend to work best on the thin skin around the eyes. A general rule of thumb: Use a concealer that’s one shade lighter than your base to help brighten skin. If you’re aiming to hide blueish undereye circles, go for a yellow-tone concealer. If you have brown or red discoloration under your eyes, opt for a peachy-based one. Using your fingers or a brush, apply the product in a semicircle, starting along the inner corners and working your way to the outer

ones. Be sure to hit the hollow part (the tear trough) that sinks in— that’s where a natural shadow is cast, so adding some brightness will help cancel out the darkness and depth. Then blend; fingers work well, since they add warmth that helps the concealer melt into the skin. We like Armani Power Fabric High Coverage Stretchable Concealer ($38; giorgioarmanibeautyusa.com). After applying, go back over the concealer with your fingertips to remove excess product, which will prevent it from settling into lines. For an extra brightening shot, dust on a bit of softfocus setting powder. A good one: Lawless Brightening Translucent Talc-Free Loose Setting Powder ($36; sephora.com).

STEP 3

Highlight Using the same Chanel stick (from page 108), dab a dot in the inner corners of your eyes and over your lids for a little lift. Finish with mascara (a blue shade can make your eyes look brighter) and go win the day.

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FIND MORE ALONE TIME ( W I T H O U T B E I N G LO N E LY ) There are proven benefits to spending time by yourself. Learn to give yourself a time-out that feels like a restorative treat, not a punishment. BY MEL ANIE MANNARINO ILLUSTR ATIONS BY GR ACIA L AM

I F YO U ’ R E O N E O F T H E R A R E P E O P L E

who like spending time by themselves, enjoy this article as validation of your natural instincts. If, on the other hand, you’re among those who would rather endure physical pain than spend time alone with your thoughts (true story: in a 2014 study published in Science, many of the participants preferred to give themselves electric shocks rather than spend 6 to 15 minutes by themselves with nothing to do), we’d like to change your mind about solitude. People who value their alone time are often accused of being antisocial, aloof, or just plain weird. But recent research has uncovered positive beneﬁts of solo time. “Studies show

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people feel rejuvenated when they are alone,” says Julie Bowker, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo in New York whose 2017 study revealed that unsociability— deﬁned as deliberately withdrawing from social situations and choosing to be alone—was linked to an increase in creativity. And those aren’t the only beneﬁts of alone time, says Jack Fong, PhD, a professor of sociology at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona, who has studied solitude. “Today people feel overloaded being connected to the grid, and they’ve lost their ability to engage with the self,” he explains. “When you’re alone, you regain your center of gravity. You’re forced to confront yourself and get to know who you really are.” The payoff? “Solitude builds self-esteem, clarity, and empathy.”

Frame Your Mindset While being alone has beneﬁts, feeling lonely does not. Loneliness—a real or perceived feeling of social isolation—has been proven to be a risk factor for heart disease, stroke, and depression, and studies show it can raise levels of stress hormones and inﬂammation. “Loneliness typically refers to a dissatisfaction with your personal relationships in terms of quality or quantity,” explains Bowker. “You can be lonely in the presence of others, not just when you are alone.” It’s that fear of loneliness that keeps some of us from seeking solitude. But when you reframe the idea of solitude as something positive that you deserve—something that will help you grow—it’s easier to separate the two ideas. “Aloneness is an opportunity rather than something that is painful or threatening,” says psychotherapist Lauren Mackler, the author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life. “Generally speaking, from childhood we’re taught to avoid being alone at all costs, but it can help you feel whole from the inside out, in balance and content with yourself.”

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Get to Know You Better It all sounds so positive—and yet. When we spend time alone, we might end up taking a long and sometimes hard look at our feelings and behaviors, introspection that is easier to avoid in the hustle of everyday life. “Lots of people are not able to appreciate their own company,” explains Fong. “People who don’t tend toward solitude may be escaping, not holding themselves accountable for their actions toward others.” If that sounds heavy, Mackler has a lighter take. “A critical component for having a healthy relationship with yourself is self-compassion,” she says. “People are hard on themselves, feel bad about themselves. They think they’re not good enough.” When you let go of your self-judgments, you’ll ﬁnd you enjoy your own company more.

S O M E D AY S I T FEELS IMPOSSIBLE TO SQUEEZE A SHAMPOO INTO THE SCHEDULE, MUCH LESS FIND THE TIME TO NURTURE YOUR C R E AT I V I T Y A N D SELF-ESTEEM.

Carve Out Solo Time Some days it feels impossible to squeeze a shampoo into the schedule, much less ﬁnd the time to nurture your creativity and self-esteem. But experts emphasize that each of us can ﬁnd moments of solitude that best suit our lives. “You don’t have to say, ‘OK, family, fend for yourself for three months. I’m off to India!’ ” says Mackler. “It can be as simple as taking an hour or two for yourself each week.” Or even less, especially if this is new to you. “Start with short periods of time—10 minutes, 15 minutes,” says Bowker. “See what happens—whether you enjoy it and how you feel afterward.”

What you do is up to you. In an international study on rest conducted by BBC Radio 4 and a group including researchers from Durham University in England, the top two most restful activities cited by participants were reading and “being in the natural environment”—both excellent ways to spend time alone. But not the only ways. “You don’t have to be productive or meditate. Sometimes just being alone and doing nothing might be most beneﬁcial. If you feel like it’s a stress reduction, it’s rejuvenating, and it makes you better able to connect with yourself, then go for it,” says Bowker. Perhaps the most crucial thing, Fong says, is going about your alone time intentionally and conﬁdently. “Acknowledging to yourself that you’re going to spend time alone develops courage, a boldness.” Fong does stress the importance of enjoying solo time for yourself, not for a social media moment. “Don’t go to the beach by yourself and practice solitude for two hours, then go on Facebook to blab about it,” he says. “Go for 15 minutes, tell no one, and enjoy. You don’t need validation. The point is that you are validating yourself.”

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MEET ME AT T H E M OV I E S Sitting in the dark with a bag of popcorn, one proud extrovert found a way to escape a stressful job—and enjoy her own company. BY C ADY L ANG

T H E R E A R E V E RY F E W P L AC E S

to have a private moment in New York City. I discovered this one afternoon as I gulped back tears on a hectic corner outside the midtown Manhattan department store where I had just gotten a job selling shoes. After a long day of demanding customers, feeling the unshakable sense that I had made a mistake moving to a new city, all I wanted was to be alone. It would take over an hour on a crowded subway train in the sticky heat to get back to my apartment in Brooklyn. I saw the small movie theater across the street and

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ducked in, spending two hours in the dark, completely free of human contact, watching Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader in The Skeleton Twins. It was bliss. This desire was new and unsettling. I’d always prided myself on being an extrovert. I made friends easily, could small-talk with anyone, and was “the life of the party.” My identity, from my astrological sign (Leo) to my Myers-Briggs personality type (ENTJ), was completely wrapped up in being a social butterﬂy, a persona that allowed me to avoid confronting the fact that I was terriﬁed of being alone with my thoughts and anxieties. It took this surprisingly soothing outing and the challenges of a new city and job to show me that time by myself could be relaxing, invigorating, and actually pleasurable. Since I was working retail by day and writing at night, I had an unconventional schedule that meant my nights and weekends (prime socializing hours for my friends who worked 9-to-5 jobs) were my new workweek. On my days off, usually Mondays and Tuesdays, the last thing I wanted to do was interact with more people after hearing a perpetual deluge of “Do you have this in a size 7 ½?” It was on those days that I treated myself to a movie and a bag of buttery popcorn, relishing the cool, dark stillness of the theater and the stories on the big screen. I especially loved going to weekday matinees because there was rarely anyone else in the theater, so it felt a little like playing hooky—further confirmation that this was my alone time. And during a period when money was tight, it was a casual luxury to sit quietly with myself in a city that demanded so much of me. Over the course of a summer, I grew to be comfortable with who I was when I was alone. Although I no longer sell shoes and now have a more conventional workweek, I still make time to go to the movies by myself. Some days, I’ll even sneak away to catch a midweek matinee so I can sit in a nearly empty theater. Each time reminds me that sometimes I’m the best company of all. CADY L ANG IS A WRITER IN NE W YORK CIT Y. SHE’S CURRENTLY PRODUCING A D O CUMENTARY ABOUT NAIL SALONS IN BRO OKLYN, NE W YORK .

A HOTEL ROOM OF ONE’S OWN One new mom couldn’t wait to go on vacation by herself—until she got away and the guilt set in. BY A N N A M A LT BY

A S W I T H E V E RY T H I N G

about parenthood, I thought I knew how I’d feel about being alone post-baby, but when alone time arrived, it felt completely different. What I’d assumed: Babies are loud and difficult. The opportunity to step away and be by myself—for an hour, for a day—would always be welcome. What I learned: Babies are loud and difficult. The opportunity to step away for an hour is wonderful— and coming back to the baby is even more wonderful. More than a day is harder. Missing bedtime more than one night in a row is almost unthinkable. Doing any of this while nursing is exhausting. So I waited. Yes, I went back to work full-time. I booked the occasional manicure or yoga class. I even went away for a one-night girlfriends’ getaway when my son was 5 months old, during which I cried spying on my husband putting him to bed via our video-monitor app while the rest of the group cried laughing watching Tiffany Haddish in Girls Trip. But as time passed, alone time seemed more appealing, even as my son turned into a small person I genuinely enjoyed being with. So, soon after he was weaned, I booked a three-night trip to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I told everyone about the trip. I couldn’t wait! And then I arrived, and it was, ostensibly, heaven. My room at the Conrad was enormous, with a glorious ocean view. I was walking distance from a Mexican restaurant with an incredible happy-hour menu. I bought a hideous hat and an inner tube and ﬂoated by myself in the ocean. I read two Liane Moriarty novels. Yet I felt…itchy. Even as I marveled over how awesome everything was, I texted my husband, my best friend, and my mother telling them to see if there were any cheap ﬂights to Fort Lauderdale. It was so odd: I was happy! I didn’t actually feel lonely!

I missed the baby, but not terribly! But I couldn’t handle being alone. I wouldn’t ﬁgure out the cause until later, when my trip was over: I felt guilty. Not for being away—my in-laws were there to help my husband, and I knew my son would be just ﬁne. What I felt guilty about was the bounty. Some part of me felt I didn’t deserve a 1,000-square-foot hotel room and beautiful pastel sunsets and warm ocean water and an inner tube all to myself. Those were things that should be shared. Eventually, I settled in. I spent time with those sunsets. I drank coffee on the balcony each morning. I did those freaky-looking face masks every night. I ordered a far-too-large margarita and read. I came home feeling more like myself than I had in months. And, of course, that “self” was different from what I felt like before the kid came along (or what I imagined I’d feel like later). But it was wonderful too. ANNA MALTBY IS RE AL SIMPLE’S DEPUT Y EDITOR.

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F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y C H E L S E A Z I M M E R ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

FE B RUA RY The shortest month can feel like a slog. But these ideas will keep you steady from morning to midnight snack. Warm up your routine with one of our favorite oatmeal cups (page 126), then tuck homemade energy bars (page 128) in lunch boxes for an afternoon (or after-dinner) treat. Come suppertime, a skillet full of savory beef and cabbage (page 122) will satisfy the whole family. But few things cure the winter blues like a big batch of chicken soup (page 125). For best results, serve in big mugs, with socks and a blanket.

Photograph by Jen Causey

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119

8 oz. rice noodles 3 Tbsp. toasted sesame oil, divided 1 red bell pepper, cut into 1-in. pieces 1 red onion, sliced 4 oz. fresh snow peas, trimmed and halved crosswise (2 cups)

Easy Dinner 1

4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 1 lb.), cut into 1-in. pieces 1 Tbsp. cornstarch

Orange chicken stir-fry with rice noodles

cup orange marmalade cup rice vinegar 3 Tbsp. tamari or soy sauce tsp. kosher salt tsp. freshly ground black pepper cup chopped roasted, salted peanuts

ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Make Ahead Gluten-Free Family Friendly

cup sliced scallions PREPARE noodles according to package directions; set aside.

2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add

HEAT

bell pepper and onion and cook, stirring often, until they begin to soften, about 4 minutes. Add snow peas and cook, stirring often, until vegetables are tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from skillet; set aside. remaining 1 tablespoon oil to skillet; add chicken in a single layer. Cook, turning once, until browned and cooked through, about 8 minutes. ADD

whisk cornstarch and cup water in a small bowl. Stir in marmalade, vinegar, tamari, salt, and black pepper.

MEANWHILE,

cornstarch mixture to chicken; bring to a boil over medium-high. Cook, undisturbed, until sauce thickens and chicken is glazed, about 1 minute. Return vegetables to skillet and toss to coat. ADD

chicken and vegetables over noodles, topped with peanuts and scallions.

SERVE

P E R S E RV I N G : 583 CALORIES, 22G FAT (4G SAT.), 104MG CHOL., 4G FIBER, 25G PRO., 73G CARB., 1,032MG SOD., 16G SUGAR

Recipes by Adam Hickman 120 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

Photographs by Victor Protasio

FOOD

Easy Dinner 2

Farfalle with lemon, shrimp, and kale

12 oz. farfalle pasta 1 lb. large shrimp, peeled and deveined 1 bunch lacinato kale, chopped (5 cups packed)

ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 20 MINUTES SERVES 4

cup olive oil

Quick Cooking One Pot Family Friendly

2 tsp. lemon zest plus 3 Tbsp. fresh juice (from 1 lemon) 1

tsp. kosher salt, plus more for cooking pasta tsp. freshly ground black pepper

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY THOM DRIVER

cup chopped roasted, salted pistachios

a large pot of generously salted water to a boil over high. Add pasta and cook, stirring occasionally, until almost al dente, about 8 minutes. Add shrimp and kale and cook, undisturbed, until shrimp are opaque and kale is tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Drain and transfer mixture to a large bowl.

BRING

oil, lemon zest and juice, salt, and pepper and toss to combine. Top with pistachios. ADD

P E R S E RV I N G : 740 CALORIES, 35G FAT (5G SAT.), 143MG CHOL., 6G FIBER, 32G PRO., 77G CARB., 851MG SOD., 5G SUGAR

Easy Dinner 3

Beef and cabbage skillet supper ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Make Ahead One Pot Gluten-Free

2 Tbsp. canola oil 1 lb. ground beef sirloin 1

tsp. kosher salt tsp. ground cinnamon tsp. ground coriander tsp. freshly ground black pepper 1 head green cabbage, cored and chopped (4 cups) 1 white onion, sliced cup golden raisins cup canned tomato puree 2 Tbsp. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley Steamed white rice, for serving

oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add beef and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, until brown, 7 to 8 minutes. Add salt, cinnamon, coriander, and pepper and cook, stirring often, 30 seconds. Stir in cabbage and onion; cover and cook for 3 minutes. Gently stir in raisins and tomato puree; cover and cook until cabbage is wilted but not completely soft, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and top with parsley. Serve over rice. HEAT

P E R S E RV I N G ( W I T H R I C E ) : 439 CALORIES, 13G FAT (3G SAT.), 60MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 28G PRO., 57G CARB., 838MG SOD., 15G SUGAR

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FOOD

Gently flatten potatoes with a small bowl. Transfer to a rimmed baking sheet; drizzle with 2 tablespoons oil, turn to coat, and arrange in an even layer. Broil until light brown, about 6 minutes. 1

lb. baby Yukon Gold potatoes 5 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 8 cups broccoli florets (1 lb.)

Easy Dinner 4

Sheet-pan smashed potatoes and broccoli ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES SERVES 4

Healthy Pick Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

tsp. freshly ground black pepper 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided 4 large eggs 2 oz. goat cheese, crumbled (about cup) 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh dill PREHEAT broiler to high with rack 8 inches from heat. Place potatoes and 2 tablespoons water in a microwavable bowl; cover with plastic wrap. Microwave on high until tender, 7 to 8 minutes. Transfer potatoes to a work surface; let cool for 5 minutes.

TOS S broccoli with 2 tablespoons oil and add to baking sheet in an even layer alongside potatoes. Season broccoli and potatoes with pepper and teaspoon salt. Return to oven; broil, watching carefully, until broccoli is tender and potatoes are golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes.

heat remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Fry eggs until whites are set and yolks are still runny, 3 minutes. Serve broccoli and potatoes topped with cheese, eggs, dill, and remaining teaspoon salt.

MEANWHILE,

P E R S E RV I N G : 425 CALORIES, 29G FAT (7G SAT.), 193MG CHOL., 6G FIBER, 14G PRO., 29G CARB., 647MG SOD., 4G SUGAR

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Easy Dinner 5

Pork chops with almond-scallion pesto ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Gluten-Free

4 bone-in center-cut pork chops tsp. ground coriander 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided tsp. black pepper, divided 8 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 4 cups cauliflower florets (from half a head) cup chopped scallions cup roasted almonds 2 Tbsp. capers, drained 1 clove garlic SEASON pork chops with coriander and teaspoon each salt and pepper.

1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add pork chops and cook, turning halfway through, until a thermometer inserted in thickest portion of meat registers 140°F, about 5 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate.

HEAT

add cauliflower, cup water, and 1 tablespoon oil to skillet; cover and cook until cauliflower begins to soften, about 5 minutes. Uncover and cook until cauliflower is golden brown and water has evaporated, about 3 minutes. Season with teaspoon salt and remaining teaspoon pepper.

CAREFULLY

process scallions, almonds, capers, garlic, remaining 6 tablespoons oil, and teaspoon salt in a food processor until mostly smooth. Serve pork chops and cauliflower topped with almond pesto.

MEANWHILE,

P E R S E RV I N G : 691 CALORIES, 47G FAT (9G SAT.), 167MG CHOL., 4G FIBER, 57G PRO., 9G CARB., 727MG SOD., 3G SUGAR

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CO OK WITH COZI Get Real Simple’s easy weeknight-dinner recipes in Cozi, a free meal-planning and organizing app from Meredith Corporation (available on iTunes and Google Play).

FOOD

Big Batch

Chicken noodle soup ACTIVE TIME 35 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 40 MINUTES

SERVES 12

1 (4-lb.) whole chicken 8 cups low-sodium chicken broth 2 dried bay leaves 1 head garlic, halved 6 tsp. kosher salt, divided 3 Tbsp. unsalted butter 5 carrots, thinly sliced 4 stalks celery, thinly sliced 1 yellow onion, chopped 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh thyme 1 lb. egg noodles 3 Tbsp. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y C H E L S E A Z I M M E R ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

tsp. freshly ground black pepper COMBINE chicken, broth, bay leaves, garlic, 2 teaspoons salt, and 8 cups water in a large pot. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Cover and simmer until chicken is cooked through, 35 to 40 minutes. Remove from heat. Transfer chicken to a cutting board. Strain stock into a large bowl and discard solids. Remove meat from chicken and shred; discard skin and bones.

the pot clean. Melt butter over medium-high. Add carrots, celery, onion, and thyme and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 8 minutes. Add reserved stock and remaining 4 teaspoons salt; bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Add noodles; cook according to package directions. Remove from heat and stir in shredded chicken, parsley, and pepper. WIPE

P E R S E RV I N G : 288 CALORIES, 7G FAT (3G SAT.), 102MG CHOL., 2G FIBER, 24G PRO., 31G CARB., 1,137MG SOD., 2G SUGAR

Recipe by Robin Bashinsky Photograph by Jen Causey

REAL SIMPLE

125

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Make It Yourself A D E L I C I O U S E SS E N T I A L T H AT’ S B E T T E R H O M E M A D E T H A N S T O R E - B O U G H T. W E ’ L L P RO V E I T. T H I S M O N T H : F RU I T-A N D - N U T E N E RGY B A R S By Ananda Eidelstein

1 cup walnuts cup raw sunflower seeds cup unsweetened flaked coconut 1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats tsp. kosher salt 3 cups pitted prunes cup freeze-dried strawberries, coarsely chopped oven to 350°F. Line an 8-inch square baking pan with 2 crisscrossed pieces of parchment paper, leaving a 4-inch overhang on all sides. PREHEAT

walnuts and sunflower seeds in an even layer on a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 5 minutes. Add coconut to baking sheet in an even layer. Return to oven and bake until coconut is golden and fragrant, about 3 minutes. Let cool to room temperature.

SPREAD

128 R E A L S I M P L E F E B RUA RY 2019

MEANWHILE ,

process oats and salt in a food processor until finely ground; transfer to a small bowl.

ADD prunes and process until a smooth paste forms, about 2 minutes. Add oats and cooled walnut mixture and pulse, scraping down sides of bowl as needed, until well combined but pieces of walnuts are still visible, about 15 pulses. TRANSFER mixture to prepared pan and fold the overhanging parchment over the top. Press mixture firmly and evenly into pan using a flat-bottomed measuring cup. Top with strawberries, pressing lightly to adhere.

until set, about 20 minutes. Using the overhanging parchment paper, carefully lift mixture out of pan. Cut into 12 bars. Store tightly covered in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.

REFRIGERATE

Photograph by Jen Causey

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y C H E L S E A Z I M M E R ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 45 MINUTES MAKES 12 BARS

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

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