DIY Candles
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FamilyLife
Happy Valentine's Day
January/February 2016
Jan/Feb Contents
63 ADVICE
ORGANIZE
15 29 New Year, New Attitude: How Tracy Moore's glam childto Tap More Joy in 2016 friendly home renovation 21 Improve Your Family Life by Changing Your Routine
37 Sarah Richardson's kitchen design tips
25 Nine Traits of SelfDisciplined Children
FEATURES
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FOOD
ON THE COVER
63 All-Star Appetizers
Photography by Roberto Caruso
IN EVERY ISSUE 12 Editor's Letter
72 53 Three romantic wall art ideas Last Look with paint chips
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FamilyLife EDITOR IN-CHIEF Pamela Hayford CREATIVE DIRECTOR Brendan Fisher MANAGING EDITOR Day Helesic FOOD DIRECTOR Annabelle Waugh FASHION & BEAUTY DIRECTOR Julia McEwen HOME & GARDEN DIRECTOR Sarah Gunn TEST KITCHEN SENIOR FOOD SPECIALIST Irene Fong FOOD SPECIALISTS Amanda Barnier, Jennifer Bartoli, Gilean Watts INTERN Rebecca Fallowield ART DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Lena Diaz ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR Sarah Big Canoe CONTRIBUTING ART DIRECTOR Leanne Gilbert PRODUCTION SPECIALIST Genevieve Pizzale EDITORIAL SENIOR FEATURES EDITOR Megan Howard FEATURES EDITOR Mary Levitski COPY EDITORS Debbie Madsen Villamere, Stephanie Zolis EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS Marianne Davidson, Sarah Dziedzic HOME & GARDEN HOME & STYLE DIRECTOR Ann Marie Favot DESIGN EDITOR Morgan Lindsay ADVERTISING SALES, TORONTO GENERAL SALES MANAGER, CONSUMER PUBLICATIONS Kelly Whitelock SENIOR SOLUTIONS DIRECTOR, DIGITAL Myra Thompson NATIONAL SALES DIRECTORS Andrea McBride, Anna Vecera Marto ADVERTISING COORDINATION MANAGER Janice Clarke NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVES Paul Cummins, Daciano da Ponte, Jillian Dann-Macerollo (Team Lead), Cathy Ellis, Gary Forshaw, Kathleen Irish, Joanne Landry, Delainie Marin, Lennie Morton, Erin Suckling, Vanessa Watson, Lindsay Weir (on leave) DIGITAL NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVES Crystal Falls, Akta Sharma, Alex Vaccher SALES ASSOCIATE Patricia Mixemong
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Editor's Letter
What's Love? Happy New Year! I trust you had a wonderful holiday season with your families. And if you are anything like me, you are looking forward to some quieter days in the next few weeks. How do you feel about winter? It is no secret this is NOT my favorite season. Every year I wish we could go from the holidays straight to spring weather and skip over the yucky-ness that comes along with winter. I just don’t do cold. And the mess that snow creates? Ain’t nobody got time for that! But others actually like this season. At some point, all parents deal with planning a birthday party for their kids. That’s why twice a year we bring you a birthday party guide in the magazine to help you plan the perfect party. My husband and I try to get out on a regular basis for a date night. Oftentimes, a night out for us includes a meal and either a concert or movie. We were looking for some variety, and our discussions and research led us to taking dance lessons. Yep, you read that right. Two 40-somethings taking ballroom dance lessons. And it’s not like I am very graceful or coordinated. We enrolled, and for the next four to five months you could find us weekly at our local Arthur Murray studio, practicing everything from the tango to the rumba (our fave). While you won’t catch us on Dancing with the Stars, we had a blast! Not only did we each leave our comfort zone, but it was just so much fun. We laughed and enjoyed each other’s company in a totally different way than we would at a dinner out. I encourage you and your spouse to find a new and creative date night, and I’d love for you to share your idea with me!
Pamela Hayford Editor In-Chief
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Advice
New Year, New Attitude: How to Tap More Joy in 2016 By CHRISTA MELNYK HINES
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Advice Want to bring more joy into your home this year? Try shifting your mindset. Not only can adopting a more optimistic attitude create a happier life, you’ll influence how well your kids respond to life’s daily challenges too. “Children watch their parents. They pick up on moods and beliefs. A positive attitude is contagious––as is a negative attitude,” says Dr. Kristen Hensley, psychologist and director of the Center for Psychoeducational Services at the University of Kansas. Positively rewarding. A positive outlook boosts productivity, energy and motivation, helps reduce stress, enhances confidence and self-esteem, benefits health and even improves relationships with others. “A positive attitude can also help us be more flexible in our thinking and make seeing solutions to problems easier,” Hensley says. “Looking for silver linings in life can help build mental resilience and general optimism.” Practice self-awareness. Try tracking your moods to get a better sense of what you’ll need to do to better care for yourself each day. Jessica Mostaffa, early childhood mental health specialist and therapist with the Moving Beyond Depression program at the Family Conservancy, says this tactic helps her clients take a more mindful approach to their day-to-day emotional well-being. Make a happiness list. Brainstorm a list of activities that help you feel better when you’re feeling depleted. Your list might include taking a warm shower, watching a comedy, gardening or taking a walk with a friend. “When moms start working on increasing time for themselves, it not only decreases depressive symptoms, but they also report having a better, more positive relationship and interactions with their children, partners and others in the home,” Mostaffa says. Invite your kids to make lists too. When they’re angry or upset, they can turn to their list to help them manage their emotions in a healthy way. For example, shoot hoops, listen to music, draw, read or call a trusted friend. Reframe negative thoughts. Rather than trying to ignore them, work with cynical thoughts that creep into your head.
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Mostaffa suggests asking yourself grounding questions. What’s the evidence that thought is true? What’s the evidence that thought is not true? What’s the worst thing that could happen? What’s the best thing that could happen? And what’s the most likely thing to happen? Watch how you say it. Notice how you describe your obligations to yourself or others. For instance, instead of “It’s my responsibility to make sure the kids have their homework done,” you might say, “It’s my privilege to make sure that my children are doing what’s best for them.” “It’s those subtle shifts that have profound effects on our lives,” says Carla McClellan, an ACC-certified life coach, minister and director of mindfulness and coaching at Awaken Whole Life Center in Lee’s Summit. Voice your gratitude. Foster positive thinking at mealtime by inviting your family to share three things for which they feel grateful and why. Bedtime is a good moment to reflect on the day too. “Daily affirmations can be powerful,” Hensley says. “These don’t have to be major things either. A 5-year-old might say she’s grateful for the cupcake she got at school for a classmate’s birthday celebration because it made her happy. The purpose is to teach this kind of thinking and help it become a more natural part of everyday life.” Create a vision board. Imagine what you and your family would like to accomplish in the year ahead. Either make a family vision board or individual ones. Grab a stack of old magazines, scissors, glue and poster board. Cut out inspiring words, quotes and pictures. Ask each other questions: What are our dreams for the coming year? What do we want to see happen in our lives? What would an ideal vacation look like? Set intentions. Alongside your daily to-do list, make a “tobe” list. Every morning set your intention. Ask yourself, “Who am I willing to be today? Kind? Loving? Generous? Enthusiastic?”
Advice “An intention is a laser focus for our energy. When we claim who we are willing to be, we can be that,” McClellan says. Encourage quiet time. Quiet, unplugged time helps nurture creative thinking, problem-solving and stress reduction. Gear down before bedtime as a family. Read together, draw or watch a show. This time together helps kids decompress and gives them space to express worries, concerns or stories from the day. Weigh the positive and negative. If your child is troubled by a situation at school or at home, encourage him to write down a positive thought about it on a card. On the opposite side, have him write the negative thought. “Then you can discuss with your child each side, how each makes him or her feel and what the consequences of each side might be,” Hensley says. “Remind children that it’s okay to have negative thoughts and feelings. We just don’t want them to rule our lives.” Play together. Experts agree: Families who play together tend to be happier and more deeply connected. Whether you throw the football, compete in a game of cards, dance to funky music in your living room, or make up games on a car ride, play will strengthen your relationship with each other. Experiment with what works for your family. “All of these types of activities and rituals are very important because they’re modeling a positive attitude, building a healthy way of thinking and interacting with the world and helping children understand the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviors,” Hensley says. Additional resources: The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen Simple Fun for Busy People: 333 Free Ways to Enjoy Your Loved Ones More in the Time You Have by Gary Krane, Ph.D. Inside Out, animated Pixar movie that explores emotions
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Advice
Improve Your Family Life by Changing Your Routine By TISHA FOLEY
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Advice Routines can be a good thing; that’s why classrooms are built on schedules and why family dinnertime is important. Sometimes, though, parts of your family life need a makeover, and a new year is a fantastic time to make some small changes. Start by identifying what routine(s) needs a makeover and sit down together as a family to talk about ways you can improve the routine. Encourage input from all family members and make a pact to work together.
Too Much TV There’s nothing wrong with watching a little TV here and there, but if your evenings revolve around the family camped out on the couch for several hours, it’s time to change your routine.
Here are some routines that often need improvement and ideas to make each one better:
Set a time limit of how much TV your family watches each day (say, one 30minute program) and stick with it. Then, brainstorm how your family can better spend quality time together. Ideas include having a game night, playing outside, going bowling or joining a gym.
Harried Mornings Do mornings start with your barking at the kids multiple times to get out of bed and end with everyone scrambling out the door with a donut in hand? A few small changes are often all it takes to turn your mornings from stressful to successful. Whitney Szczucinski, Belton mom of twins, says that prep work the night before is essential. “I make sure I lay out everything from socks to hair bows the night before,” she says. Do everything you can to prepare for the next day: assemble outfits, put the backpacks by the door, locate your keys and pack lunches. Prepare breakfast ahead of time if possible: bake and freeze muffins for a quick thaw in the microwave, or mix up pancake batter and store in the fridge. In the morning, make sure everyone is up in plenty of time and aware of their tasks. Raymore mom Mary Dubray used to have a tough time getting her daughter ready in the mornings. “Then we made her a list (in order) of everything she had to do to be ready to leave. It was then her responsibility to check the list for what to do next.”
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Too much TV time could lead to health problems like obesity, heart disease and even an early death; not only are you sedentary, but you’re probably snacking in front of the tube too.
Eating Out Do busy schedules frequently lead your family to grab a quick dinner at the burger drive-thru or pizza place? Are you eating out (or ordering in) more often than preparing a homecooked meal? Eating out may seem like a quick, easy option compared to fixing a meal at home, but restaurant food can shrink the wallet and fatten the waistline. With a little prep work, you can change this routine. Take a look at your calendar each week and make plans for quick meals on nights that you know will be hectic. Throw something in the crock-pot that morning, chop up veggies and meat for a fast roll-up or make meals ahead of time and freeze them. Your meals don’t have to be gourmet! Nutritious and cheap is easy to achieve with a little planning. And by all means, enjoy that dinner out occasionally.
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Bedtime Battles In a perfect world, the kids are in bed by 8:00 so you can enjoy a little downtime at the end of your hectic day. In reality, bedtime often means tears, meltdowns and a sudden hunger/thirst/urge to potty. Pretty soon, it’s 9:00, the kids are overtired and Mom and Dad are exasperated. Are you nodding in agreement? I find that kids take about twice as long to do anything as I think they should. With that in mind, starting bedtime earlier can go a long way in establishing a positive routine. Set a timer to go off an hour before bed, which signals the start of the ritual. Then turn off electronics and play soft music to create the mood. Do things in the same order each night, and build in five minutes before lightsout when kids can grab one more sip of water or run to the bathroom one more time.
Advice
Nine Traits of Self-Disciplined Children Look around you. Whiny, lazy, unmotivated kids are a dime a dozen, but selfdisciplined children are few and far between. Just how can you identify a selfdisciplined child and what sets him apart from all the rest? Licensed psychologist and author Sherrie Campbell suggests the following are hallmarks of a disciplined child’s make up. By LAUREN GREENLEE
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Advice
Self-Control.
Empathy.
Self-control is known by many names: Willpower. Conscientiousness. Delayed gratification. Whatever you want to call it, this practice in simple terms is the ability to regulate oneself and inhibit impulses, both of which are critical in developing emotional maturity. A self-controlled child not only says “no” to desirable objects in the immediate but also chooses to say “yes” to doing what is right, regardless of how he feels. This skill has far reaching effects on everything from academic success to interpersonal relationships to work habits, physical and emotional health and more.
We live in a culture that breeds egoism, the habit of valuing everything only in regards to personal interest, beyond all else. The result of so much self-indulgence can be unsavory, but perhaps one of the greatest tragedies is that in the mix, children lose the ability to consider how other people feel. Self-disciplined children, in contrast, seek to see beyond themselves and are able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Empathetic children don’t simply take pity on others from a distance but develop genuine care and understanding as they strive to relate to others and their feelings.
Responsible. Self-disciplined kids take pride and ownership in how they contribute at home, school and beyond. They see their role as a valuable one and strive to put forth their best effort, knowing their actions affect others as well as themselves.
Self-Confident. Disciplined children are confident in who they are, as they know their value is found in what they are made of, not what they can do. This deep sense of self-worth is not based on personal performance or outside validation but comes from within.
Accountable. Part of growing in maturity means learning to accept responsibility for your mistakes. Being held accountable provides room for growth, and selfdisciplined children acknowledge this.
Joyful. Ask any parents what they hope for their children and the overwhelming response is they want them to be happy. Ironically, when happiness is sought at the expense of personal disciplines, children flounder. A wise parent acknowledges that childhood is the training ground through which children prepare for adulthood. And self-discipline is one of the most integral parts to a successful life. When children own that for themselves, they find deep personal satisfaction. Indeed, self-disciplined children are among the happiest.
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Self-Motivated. Simply put, doing good feels good. And when making good choices brings about positive consequences, disciplined children will strive toward excellence, regardless of outside incentives or promptings, because it’s personally rewarding.
Respectful. A self-disciplined child will respect the authority figures in his life, viewing their role as helpful and valuable. Instead of undermining someone in leadership when he disagrees, a self-disciplined child has the confidence to assert himself and does so through a respectful appeal.
Resilient. Thomas Edison went through 1,000 failed attempts before he achieved the success of a working light bulb. When asked about it, he replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The lightbulb was an invention with 1,000 steps. Great success is built of failure, frustration, even catastrophe.” Self-disciplined children know that not everything comes on the first try and that learning through mistakes and mishaps is perhaps the greatest outcome of a “failed attempt.”
Organize Tracy Moore's glam child-friendly home renovation With the help of designer Ramsin Khachi, the CityLine host creates her family's new home
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New addition Tracy and her husband, Lio, with their son, Sidney, and one-month-old daughter, Eva Simone.
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Island life When Tracy Moore was expecting, she moved house. The talk-show host and her husband, Lio, were drawn to a heritage home in Toronto's Riverdale, for its potential to provide a large, central family hub. But there was work to do, and fast, since Tracy was seven months pregnant and her son Sidney, 2, was already mobile. Before they even moved in, Tracy turned to designer Ramsin Khachi to open up the kitchen and dining room. Moving doorways and working with existing windows were challenges, but Tracy is delighted with the outcome: "With the dividing wall gone, we have more lights and it feels like a much bigger area, which is great when you have a toddler whipping around." Tip: A free-standing countertop makes a great workstation and a perfect place for the whole gang to congregate. The central sink allows you to interact with kids or guests while you prep.
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Transform your dining space with colourful accessories Bright dishes, napkins and table runners are fun, inexpensive ways to change up your kitchen or dining room. Purchasing an extra set of slipcovers makes it easy to keep chairs clean and vary your look for special occasions. Get this look Chandelier, unionlightingandfurnishings.com. Art, canvasgallery.ca. Window coverings, levolor.ca. White vases, westhelm.com. Small art, robcroxford.com. Radiator cover, fichman.com. Flatware, ikea.ca. Plates, thebay.com. Table runner, potterybarn.ca.
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Take cupboards to the ceiling Having an extra row of cabinets makes the ceiling appear higher and maximizes storage. Give a big-box kitchen a bespoke feel by filling space above and below the cabinets and around the appliances with matching wood. Use reflective surfaces. The mirrored oven creates an illusion of space and gives this functional appliance a more decorative look. Highly polished countertops and stainless-steel kick boards and appliances also add to the light and spacious feel. Get this look Kitchen, ikea.ca. Pitcher, thebay.com. Pedestal tray, teatroverde.com. Sophie Conran bowl, thebay.com. Kettle, breville.ca. Cutting board, ikea.ca.
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Fresh twist on the classic kitchen It's no wonder that Richardson was awarded Canada's Top 40 Under 40 in 2007; the highly-demanded interior designer has been the host of several design shows, including Room Service, Design Inc. and Sarah's House, she's led her own design firm, and has a number of signature product lines. Here, the Toronto-born, mother of two shares her design tips and tricks to transform a basic builder's home.
Sarah Richardson's kitchen design tips The Sarah's House TV host and interior designer answers questions on how to build a kitchen from basic to beautiful Photos by Stacy Brandford
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Q. How do you make a standard island work harder? A: An island shouldn’t be a giant monolith. It needs to fulfill a lot of different functions. Today’s kitchens are places where people gather. Your island should be divided into zones so everyone can work together without stepping on each other’s toes. Here, I included a raised eating area, a lower drink station and a counter-height prep area.
Q. How do you add personality to a basic builder’s kitchen? A: When working with a kitchen maker, see how far you can push their design. Small touches like a criss-cross detail, upgraded hardware or trim really dress up the whole room.
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Q. How do you make an open-concept layout work? A: Select your fabric before your paint. Choose one of the colours in the fabric as the starting point for the palette. We chose neutral greys with a hit of beige, to tie in with the cabinet colours and give us a base from which to build the family room. And try to steer away from stark white kitchens that never feel truly connected to the rest of the home .
Q. Where do you splurge? Where do you save? A: If you truly love to cook, spend on appliances. That’s one place where you always get what you pay for. Splurge on a backsplash — don’t choose cheap tiles since most of the cost is the installation . Finally, don’t get carried away with fancy hardware, especially in a big kitchen. It’s sure to break the bank.
Get this look: Visit HGTV.ca/sarahshouse for full list of suppliers. Sarah’s House 4 airs Tuesdays on HGTV at 8 p.m. ET and 5 p.m. PT.
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“Winter forms our character and brings out our best.” – Tim Allen
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Three romantic wall art ideas with paint chips An easy (and affordable!) DIY art idea to add a bit of romance to your decor.
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Ombre-inspired wall art Simply placed the paint chips side-by-side and frame as is.
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Two-toned heart project Layer yellow over red and cut a large heart out of the yellow so that the red shows through. Make sure you carefully line up the place where the colour changes.
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Love project Print the words I love you on a piece of white paper, cut out the letters and put a paint chip behind it.
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Food Easy show-stopping appetizers Easy entertaining: 5 ways with crostini Photo, Maya Visnyel
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All-Star Appetizers It's a simple formula that will never steer you wrong. Top crostini with any soft cheese and something roasted or toasted. Season with something flavourful (herbs, syrups) and serve. Photo, Maya Visnyel
Camembert, lemon and maple syrup crostini
Boursin, squash and sage crostini
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Goat cheese grape and rosemary crostini
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Gorgonzola, walnut and honey crostini
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Ricotta and roasted tomatoes with balsamic crostini
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Food
Camembert, lemon and maple syrup crostini PREP TIME:10 MINS TOTAL TIME:20 MINS 1 demi-baguette , cut into 1/4-in. slices, about 24 1 lemon 1 tbsp canola oil 1/8 tsp salt 300 g wheel camembert maple syrup 1. Preheat oven to 400F. Arrange baguette slices in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Toast in centre of oven until golden, about 8 min. 2. Cut lemon into 12 1/8-in.-thick rounds. Slice each round in half. Toss with canola oil and salt on a foil-lined baking sheet. Roast until tender, 12 to 14 min. Slice camembert and place 1 slice on each crostini toast. Top with lemon slices. Drizzle with maple syrup.
Crostini with gorgonzola, walnuts and honey PREP TIME:5 MINS TOTAL TIME:10 MINS 1 demi-baguette , cut into 1/4-in. slices, about 24 2 cups halved walnuts 125 g gorgonzola honey
1. Preheat oven to 400F. Arrange baguette slices in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Toast in centre of oven until golden, about 8 min. 2. Arrange walnut halves on a baking sheet. Bake at 400F until golden, 3 to 5 min. Spread Gorgonzola on crostini toasts. Top with walnuts. Drizzle with honey.
Food
Ricotta, roasted Goat cheese, tomato and roasted grape and balsamic crostini rosemary crostinis PREP TIME:10 MINS TOTAL TIME:20 MINS
1 demi-baguette , cut into 1/4-in. slices, about 24 1 pint multi-coloured cherry tomatoes , halved 1 tsp olive oil 1/4 tsp salt fresh pepper 1 cup extra-smooth ricotta balsamic glaze fresh basil , optional 1. Preheat oven to 400F. Arrange baguette slices in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Toast in centre of oven until golden, about 8 min. 2. Toss tomatoes with olive oil and salt on a baking sheet. Season with fresh pepper. Roast at 400F until tender, 10 to 15 min. Spread ricotta on crostini toasts. Top with tomatoes. Drizzle with balsamic glaze. Sprinkle with fresh basil (optional).
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PREP TIME:10 MINS TOTAL TIME:30 MINS 1 demi-baguette , cut into 1/4-in. slices, about 24 2 cups seedless grapes 1 1/2 tsp olive oil 1/4 tsp salt 1 tsp chopped rosemary 150 g goat cheese 1. Preheat oven to 400F. Arrange baguette slices in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Toast in centre of oven until golden, about 8 min. 2. Toss grapes with olive oil, salt and 1 tsp chopped rosemary on a baking sheet. Roast at 400F until grapes start to shrink, 15 to 20 min. Transfer to a rack. Cool 5 min. Spread goat cheese on crostini toasts. Top with roasted grapes. Sprinkle with more chopped rosemary.
January/February 2016 - Family Life
Boursin, squash and sage crostini PREP TIME:10 MINS TOTAL TIME:30 MINS 1 demi-baguette , cut into 1/4-in. slices, about 24 1 acorn squash 3 tbsp melted butter , divided 1/4 tsp salt fresh pepper 24 fresh leaves of sage 150 g Boursin 1. Preheat oven to 400F. Arrange baguette slices in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Toast in centre of oven until golden, about 8 min. 2. Cut an acorn squash into quarters, lengthwise. Save 2 pieces for another use. 3. Cut remaining 2 pieces crosswise into 24 slices. Toss with 1 tbsp melted butter and 1/4 tsp salt on a baking sheet. Season with fresh pepper. Roast at 400F until tender, 17 to 20 min. Melt 2 tbsp butter in a medium saucepan over mediumhigh. Add 24 fresh sage leaves and cook until crisp, 2 to 3 min. Spread 150 g Boursin on crostini toasts. Top with roasted squash and sage.
Last Look
Love project There’s nothing more magical than strolling under a mild snowfall on a calm, quiet night when the light is just right. Bring this sparkle and glow indoors with pretty homemade votives. Spray Mason jars with adhesive, roll in glitter, spray again and roll in Epsom salts. Place a candle inside and watch the flame flicker through the frosty exterior. Perfect for a cozy tête-à-tête this Valentine’s Day.
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