FamilyLife - November 2019 by Lawrence Ambrocio

FamilyLife Warm Welcome Safely load a dishwasher

November 2019

5 quick super speedy meals

NYC Colorful home

November Contents

ADVICE

ORGANIZE

FEATURES

11 Dealing with an Underachiever

31 A 550-Square-Foot NYC Rental Is Organized, Colorful, and Decorated for Under $4K

47 How to organize your life

15 Creative ways to express a thankful heart 23 My son has autism, but I refuse to let it limit our family

53 Make healthy meals

39 57 How to load your dishwasher What to do with all those (properly!) digital pictures

FOOD 65 Super-speedy Meals

65 IN EVERY ISSUE 9 Editor's Letter 74 Last Look

ON THE COVER Photography by Tara Kiernan

Family Life ‐ November 2019

FamilyLife EDITOR IN-CHIEF Pamela Hayford EXECUTIVE EDITOR Suzanne Moutis CREATIVE DIRECTOR Karen Paddon EDITORIAL OPERATIONS & ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGER Olga Goncalves Costa TEST KITCHEN FOOD DIRECTOR Soo Kim SENIOR FOOD ASSOCIATE Stina Diös CONTRIBUTING FOOD SPECIALISTS Donna Borooah, Cara Tegler ART DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR Lena Diaz ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR Sarah Big Canoe CONTRIBUTING ART DIRECTOR Leanne Gilbert PRODUCTION SPECIALIST Genevieve Pizzale EDITORIAL SENIOR FEATURES EDITOR Megan Howard FEATURES EDITOR Mary Levitski COPY EDITORS Debbie Madsen Villamere, Stephanie Zolis EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS Marianne Davidson, Sarah Dziedzic HOME & GARDEN HOME & STYLE DIRECTOR Ann Marie Favot DESIGN EDITOR Morgan Lindsay ADVERTISING SALES, TORONTO SENIOR DIRECTOR, MEDIA SOLUTIONS, TRANSACTIONAL Jérôme Leys KEY ACCOUNT DIRECTORS, NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES David Garby, Andrea McBride, Akta Sharma ADVERTISING COORDINATION TEAM LEADER Maddie Belanger ADVERTISING COORDINATION MANAGER Janice Clarke NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVES Cathy Ellis, Gary Forshaw, Joanne Landry, Delainie Salvatore, Vanessa Watson DIGITAL NATIONAL SALES REPRESENTATIVES Paul Cummins, Gwen O’Toole, Tony Vigario, Joanna Woodman SALES ASSOCIATE Patricia Mixemong MARKETING & CREATIVE SOLUTIONS BRAND MANAGER Mieka Jansen SENIOR STRATEGIST Stephanie Mediati STRATEGIST Jeremie Marcoux PROJECT MANAGERS Janine Short, Kathryn Walsh ART DIRECTOR Suzanne Lacorte

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Editor's Letter

Giving Thanks Five years ago, if you told me I’d own a dog, I would have laughed. Really hard. Because I didn’t grow up with dogs, am allergic to them and don’t consider myself a dog person. But then my younger came along and she really, really, REALLY wanted a dog. But she, too, suffers from allergies and asthma. That didn’t deter her. There are lots of hypoallergenic dogs, she reasoned. I thought I had my ace up the sleeve with her allergist. I told her she could ask him what he thought and that I’d respect his decision (because he was going to say no, I was just sure of it). Well, as you can guess, he said no problem, as long as it was a dog that doesn’t shed. Fast-forward four-and-a-half years, and I am now a dog person. Truly, it’s one of the best decisions we’ve made. Don’t get me wrong, he can be a royal pain, but he sure has a way of bringing people together. Is a pet right for your family? Are you ready for Thanksgiving? Ready or not, it’s coming! It doesn’t have to be homemade. That’s a good one to remember. If a favorite restaurant’s cooks can make pies that are yummy, then let them. Each year I’m asked to bring pies to our celebration and each year I order them and let someone else do the work. There’s no shame in that game! Whether your pies are store-bought or homemade, I hope you enjoy them and the day! Happy Thanksgiving!

Pamela Hayford Editor In-Chief

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Advice

Dealing with an Underachiever

By JULIE COLLETT

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Advice Life is filled with opposites. Up and down, highs and lows. Sweet and salty and, last but not least, we have the haves and have nots. What exactly does this have to do with my child and the fact that she’s underachieving? Well, plenty! After you read this article, you’ll walk away with a lot more understanding —and a little bit more information on how to deal with your underachiever.

Rule # 1- No one strives to be an underachiever. Don’t compare. From early childhood, people are programmed to go out into the world and give their absolute best effort. We tell our children they can be whatever they want to be and buy toys that help them create or fix things. Naturally, we tell our children what is considered good behavior and what is considered bad. Ultimately, kids just want to be liked, and in their minds, whoever gets the attention, whether good or bad, wins. Overachieving and underachieving can be part of that vying for attention. The Davidson Institution describes this as the “First Best” and “First Worst,” a complex described as competing to be the best but on two opposing ends. Now the draw-in: how children gain attention. The real message is how we as parents idolize one good thing over the other and forget everything else in between. Simply put, we praise the first-place winner and forget all about the third-place champ. Now, imagine if your child were that thirdplace champ. What if your child were the fifth-place runner? Last, imagine him or her coming in fifth place every single race. Best-kept secret? Don’t reward bad behavior or mediocrity and never make your kid feel like his personal best is not the best you’ve ever seen.

Rule #2- No one is to blame. It’s easy to throw a pity party for yourself or to blame your child for not trying hard enough. In cases of achievement, don’t do it! The best approach is to be supportive and remain positive. Help your child find what he is good at and support him in his journey; don't criticize him in hopes he’ll get it. Pushing kids to work harder at something they simply have no interest in or are not good at will only kill their self-esteem, infuriate you or thin your patience. Instead of using your energy to urge your child to work harder at the same thing, try to challenge your child to understand that “thing” in a different way. Alter the approach.

November 2019 - Family Life

Growing up, I had the toughest time trying to understand long division. I had no problem with multiplication and the basics of understanding beforehand. I just didn’t understand why I had to use long division to divide things or why remainders even existed. My mom would get frustrated and ask my older siblings to help me with my homework. My older siblings would quit halfway through my homework lesson, and I’d be left at the kitchen table to figure it out by myself. It wasn’t until my great- grandmother came over to babysit that we discovered I just needed someone to slowly describe the process of division. In that moment, I didn’t feel pressured, pushed to understand something or criticized for not knowing the answers. I was given the same information with a different and more sensitive approach. Now, I can do long division in my sleep, with my hands behind my back, with no paper and with no help. Just think outside the box. You’ll get to the bottom of things for sure.

Rule #3- It's okay to ask for help. It takes a village to raise a child, and asking for help doesn’t make you desperate, nor does it make you ignorant. In fact, asking for help can only make you better. Reach out to a professional if your child is consistently exemplifying negative behavior. Turns out Newton’s third law doesn’t apply just to physics. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” There may be a deeper reason or more than one reason as to why your child is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Ask your parents how they dealt with situations like your child is dealing with. Their insight could really help both you and your child.

Advice

Creative ways to express a thankful heart Teach kids to celebrate blessings in unique and meaningful ways By ALLISON GIBESON

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Advice Appropriately saying thank you to someone who has played a vital role in your life isn’t easy. For that matter, neither is expressing gratitude for simple everyday blessings. It’s important to teach children to have thankful hearts, and to accomplish, that we have to model thankfulness ourselves. Truly expressing how we feel can be difficult, but during this month of Thanksgiving, it’s important to take some time to show gratitude for everything you have been given—and encourage the kids to do the same. Here are our tips to teach kids to creatively express thankfulness.

Give an honorary charity donation. Is there a person in your life or your child’s life who has blessed you in an incredible way? If so, find out what charities or causes are especially important to that person and consider supporting such efforts as a way of multiplying their impact. Encourage your kids to come up with ways to raise money for such organizations or causes. This support doesn’t always have to be strictly financial, either. For example, if it’s a teacher that has been influential in the life of your child, consider volunteering in that teacher’s classroom or school. If you or your child have been impacted by the work of a charitable organization, give back to that organization and encourage others to get involved by sharing your story. Have your children brainstorm some people in their lives who are deserving of such an honorary donation, and help them discover ways they can contribute because someone gave to them first.

Create a thankfulness collage. It’s always helpful for children to have visual reminders of important information, and this includes having visual reminders of their blessings. Consider taking pictures of specific people, places or objects your child is thankful for and work with her to create a collage of all the pictures. Hang the collage in a prominent place so your children can see it often and be reminded of their blessings. If a child begins to complain about something, have him add something new to the thankfulness collage to help him put aside complaining and recognize he has more to be thankful for than reasons to complain.

November 2019 - Family Life

Share your blessings with others. When you are truly thankful, you naturally want to be generous and give to others out of your blessings. There are countless ways to bless others through your blessings, so explore your options. Your child can personally give his old toys to another child and see the joy they bring someone else. If you are blessed with a large kitchen and backyard, consider inviting the neighborhood over for a cookout to simply express you are thankful to be able to host others at your house. If your child is good with animals and thankful to play with them, she can offer to walk the neighbor’s dogs. If your kids are good at art, they can draw pictures to give to others as a way of showing what they are thankful for about that person. Kids themselves often have great ideas on how to bless others, so have them brainstorm additional possibilities.

Nominate those who bless you for an honor. There are various ways to officially recognize those who make a difference. Research the best way to honor the special person in your life and have your child help you with the nomination. Even if that person doesn’t win the honor, they will still feel honored for being nominated.

Use your voice. With all the bad news in the world, positive news can make all the difference in someone’s day. Hearing from a thankful heart is refreshing, so use your outlets in social media, blogs and other spaces to express thankfulness for your blessings. Your children can do likewise by practicing saying more positive things than negative things throughout the day and telling one person every day something that makes them thankful. They can also write their own journal entries about their blessings.

Advice

Thankfulness all year long November is the month when we intentionally think about thankfulness, but it is important kids keep it top-of-mind all year long. Here are a few ideas to keep a thankful heart as the seasons come and go: Winter: Have the kids create valentines for friends and family, expressing why they are thankful for them. Spring: Consider decorating an Easter basket with the kids, filled with eggs containing written messages of why they are thankful. Better yet, have the kids put on a thankfulness Easter egg hunt for someone special. This could involve writing messages expressing why they are thankful for the person, placing those messages in the eggs and having a special person find them all. Summer: Write notes with the kids to service men and women to thank them for their service to our nation. Consider passing out ice cream or Popsicles to the neighborhood kids to express gratefulness for summer fun. Fall: When the kids go trick-or-treating, have them give out something small to the homes they visit instead of just taking candy.

Do something for someone else without being asked. We are constantly telling our children what to do, so it’s especially worth recognizing when they do something kind, helpful and meaningful without being asked. Start by having your child brainstorm small things they can do for others and then put them into practice. The more you make it a habit for them to think of little ways to be a blessing, the more likely they will be to do it at other times without being asked.

Never underestimate the power of a handwritten note. In today’s world of texting and social media, our kids rarely write handwritten notes, and that is precisely what makes receiving such a thoughtful note even more special. Teaching kids to write personal notes is an important skill, and it’s a way of more authentically expressing true feelings. It will also make more of an impact on the recipient than another type of message. Put some of these ideas into practice. You never know the kind of difference it will make in your life and the lives of others.

November 2019 - Family Life

Advice

My son has autism, but I refuse to let it limit our family How our family copes with the realities of my son’s autism, where the victories are small and the challenges ever-changing. By LISA KADANE Illustrated by LAUREN TAMAKI

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Advice My son, Bennett, is trying to assemble an alphabet train puzzle on the floor of our Calgary home, and things aren’t exactly going his way. He likes it spread out in a straight line from A to Z, but A keeps sliding under a hall closet door, while W teeters precariously on the step down into the living room. Meanwhile Piper, our pooch, keeps trotting across the pieces, knocking them out of place. “Nooo! No, no, NO!” Bennett, age seven, screams at the floor. Then he beseeches me piteously, “MOMMY! I. Need. HELP!” When I offer to align his afternoon’s work, he becomes even more agitated and pushes me away, sobbing. “Wipe the tears away!” he bawls, over and over. Like the train wreck his puzzle is becoming, my autistic son’s tantrum is careening off the rails. There’s no telling how long his irrational screaming and crying will last, how many Band-Aids I’ll go through trying to literally “mend” his fury and hurt feelings (real bandages—we have a supply on every floor of the house). Usually nothing helps—Bennett is beyond reason until the tantrum runs its course and our family is left feeling drained, anxious and overwhelmed, like crash survivors. In the three-and-a-half years since Bennett’s autism diagnosis, we have learned to weather these dramatic outbursts. I try not to let my emotions take over, but with logic removed from my parenting toolbox, I am sometimes reduced to tears of frustration (I’ve learned not to yell—it only riles Bennett more). My husband, Blake, steers clear of these derailments, avoiding eye contact so as not to upset his son further. My daughter, Avery, Bennett’s older sister, retreats to her room until the furor abates, or hugs me with a maturity beyond her nine years and says, “I’m sorry, Mommy. It will be OK.” This time, I keep my cool with the knowledge the tantrum will pass. We have come to understand that autism itself is a puzzle. Along its spectrum—one that is by no means a straight line from low-functioning to Asperger’s— certain therapies, medications or diets work for some kids and help them manage behaviours, or better communicate and engage in school and social situations, while others do not. The trick is to find the pieces that fit.

November 2019 - Family Life

Ever since he was a baby I suspected that something was off with Bennett. He spent his first year of life fussing, crying and rarely sleeping, with itchy patches of eczema covering his legs. Infants are notoriously difficult, and my daughter had been a dream baby, so initially I figured it was payback. During his second year, when his peers were walking, stacking blocks and trying out their first words, Bennett bum-scooted and eventually crawled (he finally walked at 19 months—on his toes), mouthed toys with little interest in their function and steadfastly refused to talk or even babble much. His delays—especially the toe-walking and lack of speech—made me consider autism, but Bennett made eye contact and was cuddly and affectionate, so I pushed the A-word from my mind. But the rigid patterns and repetitive behaviours that are trademarks of autism were already starting to take shape. He expected peanut butter toast for breakfast every morning, developed a keen fascination for flipping light switches and watching fans spin, and demanded—by howling in protest if I turned the “wrong” way—that we navigate the same path on our regular neighbourhood walks. At the time, each of these simply seemed like isolated oddities, but looking back, it’s hard to understand how I didn’t see it. I was the cliché parent—hoping for the best, blissfully in denial about the seriousness of my son’s delays and their probable cause. When he turned three, Bennett began attending an early intervention preschool, based on his severe speech delay. He made progress, learning to communicate with PECS (an acronym for “picture exchange communication system,” which consists of using pictures that stand for words) and, by age four, speech. I vainly hoped he would catch up with my friends’ little boys and take an interest in toys and imaginative play, but deep down I knew something was wrong. So I wasn’t surprised when the school psychologist suggested we screen him for autism at age four. (The average age of diagnosis in both Canada and the United States is four and a half.)

Advice Though that highly charged word still struck fear in my heart, there was always the chance Bennett wouldn’t have autism and even if he did, I reckoned it would be better to know and put a name on it. When his official diagnosis came in November 2011, I didn’t feel mad or particularly sad—those feelings wouldn’t hammer home until months later, when the reality of what this would mean for our family started to sink in. Thinking back, what I initially felt was relief. Finally, I had an explanation for Bennett’s delays and strange behaviour. Finally, I had the first crucial piece for beginning to understand my son. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) presents differently for every child. It is classified as a brain-development disorder that affects verbal and nonverbal communication, social interaction and behaviour. It’s also associated with motor coordination difficulties, attention deficits, sleep issues and intellectual disability—not every child with autism has a “gift.” Bennett is affected in each area: He can tell me his wants and needs, but we can’t have a meaningful conversation; he doesn’t care about making friends; he can’t hold a pencil properly, do up buttons or zippers, or put on his own socks; he needs a medication called Intuniv to help him focus in school; it takes him a long time to process information and he needs repetition ad nauseam to grasp concepts; and his sleep is a disaster. Bennett is also thrown by others’ feelings— he’ll sometimes laugh at his sister’s tears instead of patting her on the back. And often, his emotional outbursts don’t fit the circumstances, which is why an errant alphabet puzzle can spark a meltdown. The older he gets, the greater the gap between Bennett and his peers becomes, but he’s not alone—as many as one child in 68 is now placed on the spectrum, most commonly boys. The weeks after Bennett’s diagnosis were filled with research and reading; Blake and I wanted to learn everything we could about autism. Part of what makes us human is our desire to mend things that are broken. At this point the autism was a just another challenge to overcome—we switched Bennett to a gluten-free diet and dabbled in supplements, desperately hoping all the literature about the gut-brain connection was valid and that better nutrients would cure the autism.

November 2019 - Family Life

Six months later a genetic-array test revealed that his autism is likely an expression of an underlying genetic condition called 18q- (he’s missing a small piece of one of his 18th chromosomes). We joined the Chromosome 18 Society, a US-based organization that helps people with these abnormalities, and learned that a whopping 43 percent of members with 18q- are on the autism spectrum. This news helped us come to terms with the fact that we had a son with special needs, but it also robbed us of the hope of a miraculous recovery. Genetics don’t lie. It was a heartbreaking realization— we had an answer, but no cure. All we could do was give him love and the opportunity to reach his potential, whatever that might be. Would it be enough? Bennett is now in grade two at the same specialeducation school, and we’re fortunate that he has a great teacher, classroom aides and a team of therapists to support him. We often turn to them as a resource and implement some of their successful behaviour strategies at home, such as the use of a visual schedule to aid Bennett with transitions and to keep him focused on tasks such as the morning routine—he’s a visual learner, like many on the spectrum. As a family we try to do activities that Bennett enjoys, like visit the Calgary Zoo, go for hikes or walks or swim at a pool. Avery often asks why we always have to do what Bennett wants, like go for dim sum instead of pizza (he’s still gluten-free, for one), or why Bennett always gets the iPad (it’s often the only thing that will motivate him, and we also use it as a reward for completing a non-preferred activity, such as Legobuilding). These answers aren’t fair, and I feel guilt that Avery’s childhood is at the mercy of her brother’s autism. To compensate, Avery and I spend time together when he’s at one of his respite camps (day camps run by school and other organizations intended to give families with special-needs kids a break). We’ll indulge in things that Bennett can’t enjoy, like matinees and doughnuts.

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Advice At the same time, we refuse to let Bennett’s condition box us in or direct our life to the point where we stay in and only eat rice pasta, his favourite meal, for dinner. Many parents can feel like hostages within the rigid confines of their child’s autism diagnosis, and as a result they never go to restaurants or take trips for fear of a meltdown. And though life certainly flows more smoothly when you follow a strict routine, for parents and siblings, it can start to feel like not living. So though I’ve accepted my son for who and how he is, I keep challenging him to enrich our life as a family. He learned to ski two years ago, thanks to private lessons and french fry rewards. Now, skiing is part of our winter routine. Last summer, bribes of chocolate helped him grow more confident on his adapted bicycle. He’s become a fairly good traveller, too, thanks to social stories—very popular among kids with ASD, these are books that can be created by parents to help prepare kids for any social situations, everything from getting a puppy (and how to behave around dogs) to taking a trip. As a result we’ve enjoyed trips to Arizona, San Diego and Costa Rica. It’s not always a smooth journey and Blake and I dip often into our patience well (code for wine bottle or margarita pitcher). When he goes on strike in the middle of a hike or ski hill, I use chocolate to spur him forward. A lot of kids do this; not many of them are seven. Overall, though, I see every ski run, every trip as a victory. We try to find humour in the seeming absurdity of some of Bennett’s day-to-day behaviours, such as his morning routine of hanging upside down over Piper’s kennel and singing “Tammy” (an old Debbie Reynolds song). Still, daily life can feel like a grind, or like an eggshell walk to avoid triggering a tantrum, and I have to remember to focus on what he can do: hug, cuddle, be silly—there’s no better sound than his belly laugh. I also celebrate his milestones: He can pee standing up, dress himself (socks excluded), doggy paddle across the pool and spell and recognize his own name. And he constantly surprises us by saying words we didn’t know he knew, or by recalling memories we didn’t realize he had.

November 2019 - Family Life

I wonder at times if I’ve become a better person because of his autism, and I think I have—I’m more patient than I ever thought possible and I’m continually amazed by my perseverance and my ability to adapt to a new normal every few months as behaviours come and go. Life certainly isn’t boring. I’m past mourning the life I thought Bennett would have, the friendships he’s missing out on, even the relationship I wanted for him and his sister. I see that, when life goes his way—and alphabet puzzles remain in a straight line—he’s a happy child, even if his interests and abilities are different. I see that instead of his confidant, Avery has become Bennett’s protector and occasional scolder (“Get out of Piper’s kennel, Bennett!”). Though he frustrates her and tests her patience, she loves him completely. Living with Bennett’s autism has bestowed upon Avery a beautiful empathy and a certain wisdom. He tests my patience daily, too, but my love doesn’t falter, and I take it one day at a time. If I look too far into the future, or feel myself drowning in the enormity of his needs—will I still be putting on his socks when he’s 18? Will he be able to live independently?—I shift my attention to today. If he can just line up this 26letter alphabet puzzle, I think, all will be right in Bennett’s world and, by proxy, ours. We’ll never completely solve the more complex jigsaw that represents Bennett’s autism, so all we can do is keep looking for those crucial pieces that will help bring the bigger picture—his best life—into focus.

Organize

A 550-Square-Foot NYC Rental Is Organized, Colorful, and Decorated for Under $4K By ADRIENNE BREAUX

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Organize Best Advice: You can never have too many pillows! It may feel counter intuitive in a smaller space to bring in anything “extra,” but pillows add warmth and depth to even tiny homes. Plus they offer a great canvas for mixing colors and textiles.

According to Elaine Burns of Pistachio Designs, her client Shelbi Jones is fun and “always traveling, socializing, and checking out what is new in the city —so her apartment needed to reflect her bright personality.” This is Shelbi’s first solo apartment in New York, and she was ready to embrace color and create a space she could entertain in. “Must-haves for Shelbi were: a space for entertaining, a dedicated area for her to work from home, and a sofa and/or daybed that could be converted into a comfortable spot for guests should she have last minute visitors. A lot for such a tiny home! But we always find a way to make it work in NYC, so sourcing furniture that could serve dual purposes (i.e. storage and functionality) was key,” reports Elaine.

November 2019 - Family Life

Proudest DIY: Hanging the wallpaper in the bedroom! Is is removable and the pattern is abstract, which helped to simplify the install process. Now that it is installed, it makes a huge difference in the space and truly provides the pop of color Shelbi wanted. Biggest Indulgence: The beautiful bedding. The details are so delicate and feminine–it looks like the bed is a cloud!

November 2019 - Family Life

Organize

How to load your dishwasher (properly!) It's time to learn the right way to load your dishwasher. Prep: Scrape food off dishes; rinse only if necessary.

Bottom rack: Load plates, alternating large and small, facing toward the water jets in the centre. Add pots and pans, but don’t overcrowd, or you may block jets. Baking sheets and flat plans should line the outer edges of the rack.

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Organize

Cutlery Tray:

Knives should go blade down. Alternate other utensils handle up or handle down and spread them out to avoid nesting.

November 2019 - Family Life

Organize

Top Rack:

Put all cups and glasses between the tines, never over them. Place bowls at an angle and add dishwashersafe plastics here to keep them away from the heating coil. Extra-tall utensils can lie across the rack with the spoons facing down.

November 2019 - Family Life

“And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves.” – Virginia Woolf

Family Life ‐ November 2019

How to organize your life Organizing multiple schedules can be a nightmare. You told us how you stay on top of things.

Family Life ‐ November 2019

We painted a large square using chalkboard paint by our front door and drew a calendar on it. Everyone’s schedule gets written in different-coloured chalk. — Bethany Hogan, Seaforth, NS

My husband and I use a shared calendar on our smartphones. Every appointment and activity goes in so we’re always in sync. — Heather Cox, Georgetown, Ont.

We use a calendar app called Cozi that syncs everyone’s separate calendars. It’s also great for adding in carpooling schedules, which I can share with everyone else on their digital calendars. It’s been a lifesaver multiple times. — Sarah Beynon Giles, Langenburg, Sask.

November 2019 - Family Life

We do it old school at our house: I use a big calendar and everyone gets their own coloured pen. — Christine Hayes, Petitcodiac, NB

We use a fridge calendar that has enough room for everyone’s schedules, plus, we mark down milestones like lost teeth and funny things the kids say. I love keeping them and looking back at everything we’ve done. — Carmen Swartz, Timmins, Ont.

We keep our iCloud calendars synced with the grandparents’, so all birthdays, recitals and games are on everyone’s radar, and I don’t have to worry about who I’ve told and who I haven’t. — Chanell Vekasi, Edmonton

We use the mirror at the front of the house. I draw a monthly and weekly calendar in marker that has everyone’s activities and work schedules. It even includes our meal plans. — Jessica Sedgewick, Guelph, Ont.

I spend time on New Year’s Day transferring birthdays, holidays and anniversaries to the new calendar. I keep everything colour-coded, and the kids love to help out by adding the special stickers that come with the calendar. — Julie Knoblauch Heimrich, Exeter, Ont.

Are you kidding? I lost all brainpower after my third child and none of the tricks or tools have stuck. So while we try to remember all the Scout meetings, doctor appointments and even parent-teacher interviews, at times they just get missed. But it’s OK because the kids don’t usually mind; I’m not perfect and that’s all right with me. Sometimes not having a brain just lets you sit back and relax. — Shantell Risby, Whitehorse

I have a calendar and a great partnership with my spouse! — Kelly Gaudette, Ajax, Ont.

November 2019 - Family Life

Make healthy meals A nutrition expert and mom shows how to cook for your toddler By SANDRA E. MARTIN

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Between sleep deprivation, diapering and little-person drama, it’s tough to find the time and energy to plan and prepare healthy homemade meals. So we come to rely on commercially prepared jars of our babies’ first foods, and reach for frozen chicken nuggets to feed our toddlers on busy weeknights. Yes, packaged foods have come a long way, with a number of healthier and even organic choices for little ones available in most mainstream supermarkets. But Lianne Phillipson-Webb is convinced it’s just as easy — and cheaper — to make your own. A registered nutritionist as well as mom to five-yearold Logan and three-year-old Hadley, she has literally made it her business to cut through the confusion about nutrition and help tired, stressed parents cook healthy meals for their little ones. Strategy is key: “Try to cook in the evening while the babes are in bed, or enlist friends and family to help out on the weekends,” she suggests. “Or do a trade with friends; you make four ice cube trays of sweet potato, and a friend does the same with squash or pears. This is a great thing for a moms’ group to start. It’s a real motivator and ensures you are getting great variety with less work and shopping.” Want to keep the kids interested? Add flavour (and nutrients!) by incorporating herbs and spices such as cilantro, thyme, garlic, ginger and cumin. Just hold the spicy stuff until after baby’s first birthday. Phillipson-Webb teaches Mommy Chef classes in the Toronto area, providing the organic ingredients and recipes for six weeks’ worth of food you can feel good about, and that’s tasty enough to double as dinner for mom and dad too. (Don’t live near Toronto? PhillipsonWebb has released two instructional videos; check out her website, sproutright.com, for buying info.) Turn the page for a taste test of three dishes you can make today, plus more tips on cooking with kids underfoot. Safe prep tips Bring your sling or carrier into the kitchen so you can keep your baby close while you get some peeling and chopping done. For safety’s sake, have small babies face inward; for older babies facing out, slip your apron over both of you, wrapping it around baby’s whole body to keep curious little hands away from the knife. When you’re ready to purée or use the stove, put your baby down in a safe place. Keep her entertained with kid-sized cooking utensils and by talking to her about what you’re doing.

November 2019 - Family Life

Mommy Chef Don’t you wish you had an extra pair of hands? For moms and dads who take six-week Mommy Chef courses in the Toronto area, it’s a reality. Set up like the popular assembly-line meal-prep chains, the classes provide the ingredients and recipes. “If a child gets fussy, other moms and dads pitch in to finish up your batch of food,” notes teacher Lianne Phillipson-Webb (centre). Healthy recipe ideas • Lovely Lentils with Brown Rice • Bean Burgers • Organic Rice Crisp Surprise Squares

What to do with all those digital pictures Got a whack of photos sitting on your computer that you don't know what to do with? Read on for great ideas By AMY BASKIN

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Quick — get the camera — this is priceless! It’s your kid’s first ice-cream cone. Snap! Your preschooler’s snoozing with the schnauzer. Click! And what about the camping trip, the pirate birthday party and the first tricycle ride? “Say cheese!” It doesn’t take long. Now you’ve got thousands of digital photos languishing on your computer. No worries. We’ve compiled easy ways to organize your pics, make stunning gifts and get crafty. Here’s how to use (and enjoy) your digital photos. Getting started 1. Choose photo-editing software Got years of photos stored on your computer? “Unless you organize them, it’s like having a huge box of unsorted pictures in your basement,” says Guelph, Ont.-based digital photographer Jack Kesselman. Fortunately both Macs and PCs come with basic photo-editing programs (such as iPhoto) so you can load photos, organize them, edit pictures and create books. With a few clicks you can banish red eye in your loved ones or remove that annoying lamppost from your child’s head. Another good bet is Google’s Picasa — you can download it for free. “Experiment to see which photo-editing program you feel comfortable with,” says Kesselman. Many companies offer free trials of their software. 2. Get organized How do you remember which digital pics (out of the thousands you have saved) turned out best? As you load photos, use your photo-editing program to flag your greatest hits, advises Kesselman. Then you can easily find stunning photos to make books or gifts. While photos are all automatically sorted by date on your computer, they can be hard to find. Instead, make albums and file your digital photos according to theme. Try online albums for birthdays, summer trips, camp, friends, etc. If you’d prefer to store your photos on the Internet and display your best in online galleries, check out flickr.com.

November 2019 - Family Life

Sharing your pics 1. Digital slideshow Remember those old-fashioned slideshow parties? You’d get invited over to watch hours of your relatives’ latest trip to Bora Bora. Thanks to online slideshows, get-togethers can be much more entertaining. After a family trip or event, use your photo-editing software to make a slideshow complete with music and special effects. 2. Create a website To share the love with family and friends, make a free website filled with your photos and comments. For privacy, you can limit who has access to the site. See shutterfly.com. 3. Book It! Want to make an impressive coffee table book or gift for family? With your photo-editing software, follow the instructions and publish a hard or soft-cover book of your favourite shots. Budding authors can add text, sayings or just a poignant word or two. Try creating books around themes such as camping, school days, birthdays or a special trip. The prices start at about $10 for a softcover book. For a more elaborate bookmaking program check out blurb.com or picaboo.com. 4. Make presents Want to wow Grandma and Grandpa? Try making a one-of-a-kind calendar featuring their favourite grandkids. Want something special to take to the office following your mat leave? Put your new babe’s smiley face on a coffee cup. Not sure what to get doting aunts and uncles for birthdays? Give a keychain, puzzle, greeting card or totebag starring the kids. Try blackphoto.com, walmartphotocentre.ca and costco.ca for instructions and pricing information. For even more people-pleasing presents (diaper bags, playing cards, blankets, ornaments and more) check out snapfish.com.

5. Scrapbook sans glue! Not gaga for glue, scissors and sparkles? Go high-tech instead. Digital scrapbooking sites let you pop your online photos onto digital scrapbook pages with impressive results. Then print out the pages to make a book, store them online, email them to friends or post them on Facebook. For an easy program to get you started check out smilebox.com. With Smilebox you can also add videos and music. Computer-free photo crafts If you can’t stand communing with your computer in your limited leisure time, go low-tech instead. Just print a few favourite photos, then gather your gang at the kitchen table to try these easy crafts. 1. Short-on-time scrapbooking Hardcore scrapbookers have entire stores, workshops and furniture dedicated to their gear. No time, energy or money? For a quickie taste of the craft, buy an inexpensive scrapbooking kit (they start at around $10). Most kits include a scrapbook, decorated pages, stickers and lettering. Grab a gluestick, print off a few digital pics and stick your favourites on the pages. All done! 2. Photo puzzles With a glue stick or white glue, paste a large photo onto cardboard. Using a black marker, draw puzzle shapes on top of the photo. Cut out the pieces and store them in a bag. Now you’ve got a portable toy to keep in your purse — just in case. 3. Funky fridge dolls Find pictures of complete figures (not head shots) and carefully cut out each person. Buy sheets of selfadhesive photo-magnets, usually found in packs of two, each 6 in. (15.24 cm) by 9 in. (23 cm.) Place the cut-out photo on the white backing paper of a photomagnet sheet. Using an indelible marker, trace around the photo. With sharp scissors, cut around the outline. Peel off the white backing and press the photo figure onto the sticky side of the magnet sheet. If needed, trim any part of the magnet sheet sticking out beyond the photo. Now store your magnetic kids on the fridge.

November 2019 - Family Life

Food

Super-speedy meals When it comes to easy dinner recipes for the family, most parents want three things: meals that are quick to make, taste good (like, your kid will actually appreciate your efforts), and, if they can swing it, a dish that isn’t loaded with fat and carbs. Bonus points for anything that doesn’t create a ton of dishes. Photography by ERIK PUTZ

Family Life ‐ November 2019

SUPER SPEEDY MEALS Take the stress out of weeknight dinners by stocking the freezer with easy make-ahead meals that can be reheated in a pinch. Photography by ERIK PUTZ

Pesto pasta with sausage meatballs

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Ground turkey egg roll bowls

November 2019 - Family Life

Tuna cakes with tartar sauce

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Loaded potato and bean soup

November 2019 - Family Life

Sheet pan chicken fajitas with salsa fresca

Family Life ‐ November 2019

Food

Pesto pasta with sausage meatballs PREP TIME:20 MINS TOTAL TIME:20 MINS 340 g spaghetti 3 mild Italian sausages, casings removed 1 tsp olive oil 2 pints cherry tomatoes, halved 1/2 cup store-bought basil pesto 1/3 cup grated Parmesan basil leaves, (optional) 1. Cook pasta following package directions, until tender, 7 to 8 min. Reserve 1/4 cup pasta water, then drain pasta. 2. Roll sausage meat into ¾-in. meatballs and set aside. Heat a large non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Add oil, then meatballs. Cook, stirring and shaking pan often, until meatballs are golden all over and cooked through, 4 to 6 min. 3. Add tomatoes. Cook until tomatoes just start to soften, 1 to 2 min. 4. Add pasta, pesto and reserved pasta water to pan. Toss to coat. Remove from heat and stir in Parmesan. 5. Divide pasta among plates. Top with more Parmesan and basil, if desired.

November 2019 - Family Life

Ground turkey egg roll bowls

Tuna cakes with tartar sauce

PREP TIME:15 MINS TOTAL TIME:25 MINS

PREP TIME:15 MINS TOTAL TIME:30 MINS

2 tsp sesame oil 1 small onion, thinly sliced 450 g ground turkey 1 garlic clove 1 1/2 tsp minced ginger 397-g bag coleslaw mix 1/4 cup oyster sauce 1 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce 1 green onion, thinly sliced 1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds cooked rice, (optional)

2 eggs 1/2 cup plain bread crumbs 2 170-g cans chunk tuna, in water, drained 1/4 cup finely chopped celery 1/4 cup corn kernels 2 tbsp mayonnaise 2 tbsp olive oil, divided 2 tsp Dijon mustard 1 green onion, thinly sliced

1. Heat a large non-stick frying pan over medium-high heat. Add oil, then onion. Cook, stirring often, until softened, 2 to 3 min. Add turkey, garlic and ginger. Cook, stirring often, until no pink remains, about 4 to 5 min. 2. Add coleslaw, oyster sauce and soy sauce. Cook, stirring often, until cabbage is wilted, 4 to 5 min. 3. Divide among bowls, then top with green onion and sesame seeds. Serve with rice, if desired.

Tartar Sauce 1/3 cup mayonnaise 1 tbsp lemon juice 1 tbsp relish 1. Beat eggs in a medium bowl. Stir in bread crumbs, then mash in tuna. Stir in celery, corn, mayo, 1 tbsp oil, Dijon and onion until combined. Season with pepper, if desired. 2. Scoop 1/3 cup tuna mixture and form into patty about 1/2 in. thick. Repeat with remaining tuna mixture to make 8 patties. 3. Heat a large non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Add remaining 1 tbsp oil. Place 4 patties in pan. Cook until golden, about 3 min per side. Repeat with remaining patties. 4. To make tartar sauce, stir mayo with lemon juice and relish in a small bowl. Season with pepper. 5. Serve tuna cakes with tartar sauce and a side salad, if desired.

Food

Loaded potato and bean soup PREP TIME:20 MINS TOTAL TIME:40 MINS 2 tbsp butter 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 russet potato, peeled and cut in 1/2in cubes 1 398-mL can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed 3 cups vegetable broth 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese 1 green onion, finely chopped 2 tbsp finely chopped sun-dried tomatoes, in oil 1. Melt butter in a large pot set over medium heat. Add onion and garlic. 2. Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 3 to 4 min. Stir in potatoes, beans, broth, salt and 2 cups water. Season with pepper. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer until potatoes are tender when pressed with a fork, about 13 to 15 min. 3. Purée soup using an immersion blender until smooth, or transfer in batches to a blender and whirl until smooth. Divide among bowls. Top with cheddar, green onion and sun-dried tomatoes.

November 2019 - Family Life

Sheet pan chicken fajitas with salsa fresca PREP TIME:20 MINS TOTAL TIME:30 MINS 500 g skinless, boneless chicken thighs, cut in long strips 2 bell peppers, (any colour) cut in thin strips 1 onion, sliced 2 tbsp canola oil 2 tsp chili powder 2 tsp ground cumin 3/4 tsp salt, divided 8 to 10 small flour tortillas Salsa fresca 3 plum tomatoes, finely chopped 1 tsp lime zest 2 tbsp finely chopped cilantro 1/2 cup regular sour cream lime wedges, for serving 1. Position rack in centre of oven, then preheat to 450F. 2. Toss chicken with bell peppers, onion and oil on a large baking sheet until coated. Season with chili powder, cumin, 1/2 tsp salt and pepper. Roast, stirring halfway, until chicken is cooked through and vegetables are golden brown, about 18 to 20 min. 3. For salsa fresca, stir tomatoes with lime zest, cilantro and remaining 1/4 tsp salt in a small bowl. Season with pepper. 4. Divide chicken mixture among warmed tortillas, then top with salsa fresca and sour cream. Garnish with more cilantro, if desired. Serve with lime wedges.

Last Look

Movies

Frozen 2 November 22 Three years after her coronation, Elsa (Idina Menzel) celebrates autumn in the kingdom with Anna (Kristen Bell), Olaf the snowman (Josh Gad), Kristoff the ice harvester (Jonathan Groff), and Kristoff's reindeer Sven. One night, when Elsa hears a mysterious voice calling out to her, she follows it and unintentionally awakens the elemental spirits, which forces everyone in the kingdom to evacuate. Grand Pabbie and the Rock Troll colony arrive and Pabbie informs them that they must set things right by discovering the truth about the past.

Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures 74

November 2019 - Family Life