THAT’S HAPPYFULL .
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2X THE MEAT. *
*Stouffer’s Lasagna with Meat & Sauce. 2x the meat required by the lasagna with meat sauce standard.
P h e w, W h a t a Ye a r !
On Mother ’s Day ...
THUSS + FARRELL.
Moms, We See You
We see your grit, your grace, your dark circles. We see you hustling: emails and well visits, tantrums and taco nights, that umpteenth remote-school read-along session. Not only do we see you, we get it. How hard it’s been, how thankless. How tiring. So let us just say one thing: You are so good at this. You’re giving your child the awesome childhood they deserve. To them, you’re the world. To us, you’re a hero, a superstar—a mother like no other. Thanks for doing what you do.
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SEKTION/SINARP/HASSLARP Kitchen
$
2259
Based on a 10� × 10� kitchen price For details, visit IKEA-USA.com/warranty
Pinch salt, not yourself. No, it’s not a dream. It’s a beautiful, sustainable and affordable quality kitchen. We even have a team of professionals to help you every step of the way, from measurement to planning to installation – even financing options. Oh, and did we mention it has a 25-year warranty? On second thought, maybe you do need that pinch. Learn more at IKEA-USA.com/Kitchens What’s included in the price? The kitchen price includes cabinets, fronts, hinges, cover panels, deco strips/moldings, legs and toekicks. All kitchens also include soft-closing hinges. Your choice of appliances, lighting, knobs/handles, sinks, faucets, countertops and interior accessories are sold separately.
©Inter IKEA Systems B.V. 2021
Gentle & Nourishing Care
CONTENTS
MAY. I N E V E RY I S S U E 8 Editor’s Note
114
13 Playbook 128 Giggles
Minivans! SUVs! Our annual car awards round up the best rides for families, with details on how the car seats fit.
KIDS
21 / Your Family’s Moving. Now What? Find expert advice on unpacking your kid’s big emotions.
28 / Health News Muscle building for kids; tips for making the medicine go down 30 / Get Your Family Garden On Prep, plant, grow, and pick—with your crew!
36 / My Son Has Food Allergies (Thank You for Understanding) One mom describes life in emergency mode. 42 / The Book Nook Girl-dad Channing Tatum on his new book
44 / A Dino-Mite Crafternoon Turn a cardboard box into dinosaur toys. 48 / Elevate Your Egg Game Breakfast ideas beyond the classic scramble
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CONTENTS
MAY.
59
56 / Animal House! Meet Olivia, 9, and her snuggle bunny, Hopper.
48
82 / Her Own Great Expectations An activist and mother of five shares her self-care tips.
YO U
100
114 / Your Family’s Next Ride Our annual car awards! Find your ideal wheels.
A G E S + S TA G E S
LIFE
59 / Make SPF Your Jam! Find a sunscreen you love. 68 / Danielle Brooks: Lessons in Grace The Lifetime and HBO star talks about homing in on calm, if not always on balance, as a new mom. 72 / Parenting While Depressed Special Report: Moms and dads face unique mental-health challenges. But help is more readily available than ever. 78 / Pregnancy and the COVID-19 Vaccine There are still questions, but finally answers too.
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85 / New Look, Same Home Four designers help you hit refresh on your most-used spaces. 92 / Love in Every Layer Insta-worthy cakes for big celebrations from Food Network’s Molly Yeh 100 / Live in Peace With Kid Clutter Genius fixes and products for corralling all the stuff 110 / Green Your Kitchen Routines Meal-prep habits that show the planet some love. Plus: a beginner’s guide to composting
121 / 0–12 Months Know the rules of safe sleep. 121 / 1–2 Years Soothe common fears. 122 / 3–4 Years Explain the concept of time. 122 / 5–6 Years Overcome reading hurdles. 124 / 7–9 Years Help kids learn about gratitude. 127 / 10–12 Years Start talking to tweens about puberty (it’s happening).
On the Cover Danielle Brooks and her daughter, Freeya, 1 year. Photograph by Amanda Pratt. Wardrobe styling by Kelly Augustine. On-set wardrobe styling by Sanja Kovacevic. Hairstyling by Tish Celestine. Makeup by Carla Sahagun using Fenty Beauty. Prop styling by Holly Knott. On Danielle: Dress, Osei-Duro. Earrings, Warren Steven Scott. On Freeya: Shirt, Zara. Pants, Osei-Duro. Necklace, Jenny Bird. Illustration by Aya Kakeda.
EDITOR’S NOTE
Falling Back in Love With Home O N M O S T DAYS ,
AME R ICA ’ S
KI NDEST FAMILIES
Enter Our Cover Contest! Over the past year, we’ve been inspired by families across the nation who have stepped up to care for others. We want to celebrate that kindness—and that’s where you come in!
But over the past year, our stuff has been inescapable, and my craving for new scenery has been constant. Mid-harrumph, I took out a pen and paper and angry-scrawled an all-caps list of what needed fixing (NOISY TOILET), reorganizing (ALL THE TOYS), or replacing (DINING CHAIRS), then taped it to the fridge defiantly, a warning to everyone—or at least the members of my family who know how to read—that when the world reopens, Mommy is redecorating. Of course, there is nothing like getting safely to the other side of an illness to give you perspective. Calmer and healthier, I now walk by that list on the fridge and feel
Join Us for a Free Parenting Workshop On May 6 at 8 p.m. (EST), Parents is hosting Growing Compassion With Kids, a live event in partnership with Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day. I’m moderating the panel, which will explore how to raise a generation of kind kids. To register, turn to page 35, go to parents.com/compassion, or hover your phone’s camera over the smart code at left.
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more hope than annoyance. I’m excited by the prospect of turning my space back into a happy gathering spot after more than a year as a family hideout. And I’m taking inspiration from the Life section in this month’s issue (starting on page 85), which is filled with brilliant advice from our favorite home design and organizing pros (including Clea and Joanna, of The Home Edit fame). I realize that fixing up my place won’t fix the mess of a world we live in. And that yes, eventually my boys will trample and stain the new stuff. Yet something about redecorating fills me with optimism. When you turn to page 85, I think you’ll feel that zing too. Change is ahead, and it might as well start with our couches.
In 300 words or less, please tell us about the kindest family you know. Don’t forget a photo! (You can send a short video too.) And if your family has been busy doing good, nominate yours! The winning family will receive $10,000 and appear on a cover of Parents. Three runner-up families will win $1,000 each and be featured inside the magazine. For details, turn to page 67, visit parents.com/ kindcontest, or hover your phone’s camera over the smart code below. Contest rules are on page 127.
Special thanks to Tyson, the presenting partner of the America’s Kindest Families contest.
JULIA: PETER ARDITO. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY LINDSEY WILLIAMS.
I am filled with awe and gratitude for my home. I look down at my boys’ action figures and art supplies, which can be found literally anywhere I rest my eyes, and think, “Happy kids live here.” I sink into the stained, sagging couch, and my boys flop on top of me as if I’m their personal mattress. “I love this couch,” I say to myself. And then there are days like last Tuesday. Despite our many months of precautions, the virus had come for us, and we were in full-blown quarantine. I hadn’t been outside in over a week. Exhausted, coughing, and stressed, I looked around at the mess of work, school papers, mail, toys, and snack wrappers, and failed to see a single thing I liked about our home. I proceeded to stomp from room to room, my eyes drawn to the wear and tear from two kids who not only bounce off the walls but leave marks behind. Back in the “before” times, our family used to spend most days outside of these spaces—seeing friends, exploring our city, playing in the park. It was easy to shrug off the living-room rug that hasn’t lain flat a single day of its existence and to forget about the window shade that no longer goes up.
With 75% less fat*, it’s the lightest fried chicken we’ve ever made. tyson.com
*Than USDA data for fast foods chicken breaded fried and boneless. © 2021 Tyson Foods, Inc.
WHAT DAMAGE HAS YOUR KID DONE IN YOUR HOME THAT YOU STILL CAN’T GET OVER?
JULIA EDELSTEIN Editor-in-Chief Executive Creative Director AGNETHE GLATVED Executive Editor MIRANDA VAN GELDER Managing Editor PATRICK MOFFITT Deputy Editor DIANE DEBROVNER
“My son wrecked two beautiful, shiny new lamps. One shattered to bits, and for the other I’m trying the turn-thecracked-sideto-thecorner trick.”
Food and Lifestyle Director YOLANDA WIKIEL Beauty Director KATE SANDOVAL BOX Senior Editor, Features KATIE ARNOLD-RATLIFF Senior Editor, Books and Travel KAREN CICERO Entertainment Editor JESSICA HARTSHOR N Staff Health Editor EMILY ELVERU Staff Beauty Editor SHANNON M. BAUER Assistant Lifestyle Editor CASSIE HURWITZ Editorial Assistant REBECCA RAKOWITZ ART & PRODUCTION
“My kids did running jumps onto my Crate & Barrel sofa that we bought with our wedding money. Eventually, the frame and springs collapsed.”
Art Director EMILY FURLANI Associate Art Director JAMIE LEE Senior Designer MARIA FERNANDEZ-DAVILA Art Assistant AVA BRAMSON Production Director VINCENT M. SPINA PHOTO Photo Director MARY CLARE CAHILL Photo Editor JOANNA MUENZ Photo Coordinator MAGGIE BLATTEL Associate Photo Editor ERIKA THOMPSON RESEARCH & COPY Research Director BARBARA BRANDON-CROFT Copy Chief JEAN RODIE Copy Editor SHELLEY WOLSON Test Kitchen Project Manager LINDA BREWER, R.D.N. Deputy Managing Editor TARA LUSTBERG Executive Operations Coordinator, Office of Editor-in-Chief ADRIENNE FARR
MARK JOSEPHSON Senior Vice President, Group Publisher Sales Manager, Meredith Parents Network DONNA LINDSKOG
ADVERTISING SALE S West Coast Director JULIE BANFIELD Advertising Sales Staff ALYSSA CRAMER COHEN, CATHERINE DAUN, ANNE GILHOOL, MOLLY THOMPSON, MARIA TOCCO TORRES, NADINE WAXENBERG Assistant BRITTON FORKER Sales Director, Direct Media TYLER HUB National Travel Manager KATY HILDMAN Senior Research Manager ALISON JAYE MARKETING Group Marketing Director KRISTEN STUCCHIO-SUAREZ Senior Marketing Manager JUDY SCHIFFMAN Marketing Manager MARNIE DOWLER Marketing Coordinator DIANA ZULUAGA Group Creative Director JEANETTE CHOW Art Director TRACY D’AGOSTINO A D M I N I S T R AT I O N Executive Business Director JANICE CROAT Business Manager MEGAN WOOD Advertising Business Manager BOB PARLAPIANO Consumer Marketing Manager RACHEL BLACK Production Director MELANIE STOLTENBERG Production Manager COURTNEY PETERSON Director of Quality JOSEPH KOHLER Quality Analyst BEN ANDERSON Prepress Desktop Specialist GREG FAIRHOLM
Contributing Editors ANNA HELM BAXTER, DAPHNE de MARNEFFE, Ph.D., CATHERINE HONG, JOY HOWARD, TAMEKIA REECE, ERIN ZAMMETT RUDDY, VIRGINIA SOLE-SMITH D I G I TA L Digital Content Director JULIA DENNISON Deputy Editor MELISSA BYKOFSKY Senior SEO Editor LIZ LASHWAY Features Editor ANNA HALKIDIS Social Media Editor GILLIAN NIGRO Associate Editor LIBBY RYAN SEO Writer NICOLE HARRIS Associate Producer FRANCESCA SPATOLA ADVISORY B OARD PEDIATRICS Ari Brown, M.D., Antwon Chavis, M.D., David L. Hill, M.D., Yvonne Maldonado, M.D., Terri McFadden, M.D., Kimberly Montez, M.D., M.P.H., Natalie D. Muth, M.D., M.P.H., R.D.N., Cara Natterson, M.D., Irwin Redlener, M.D., Michael Rich, M.D., M.P.H., Darshak Sanghavi, M.D., Jennifer Shu, M.D. NUTRITION Jill Castle, R.D.N., Maya Feller, R.D., Sally Kuzemchak, R.D., Dalina Soto, R.D. MENTAL HEALTH AND BEHAVIOR Lisa Damour, Ph.D., Wayne Fleisig, Ph.D., Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D., Laura S. Olivos, Psy.D., Silvia Pereira-Smith, M.D., Adiaha Spinks-Franklin, M.D., Timothy L. Verduin, Ph.D. ENVIRONMENTAL HEALTH Aaron Bernstein, M.D., M.P.H., Philip Landrigan, M.D. DENTISTRY Lezli Levene Harvell, D.M.D., Maria Velasco, D.M.D.
“One of my kids (no one has fessed up) drew a picture on the hall carpet with a blue permanent marker, and there is nothing I can do to get rid of it.”
WOMEN’S HEALTH Tamika Auguste, M.D., Yamel Belen, R.N., C.L.C., Marjorie Greenfield, M.D., Marta Perez, M.D., Laura Riley, M.D., Alexandra Sacks, M.D. EDUCATION AND LITERACY Patricia Edwards, Ph.D., Jennifer Serravallo, Colby Sharp ALLERGY Michael Pistiner, M.D., Hemant Sharma, M.D. EMERGENCY MEDICINE AND SAFETY Khama Ennis, M.D., M.P.H., Mark Anthony Griffiths, M.D., Wendy L. Hunter, M.D. SLEEP Maida Chen, M.D., Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., Judith Owens, M.D. DERMATOLOGY Anna Bruckner, M.D., Jody Alpert Levine, M.D., Kim Nichols, M.D. SOCIAL JUSTICE Traci Baxley, Ph.D., Nayeli Y. Chavez-Dueñas, Ph.D., Ibram X. Kendi, Ph.D., Julie Lythcott-Haims
“We transitioned my toddler to a big-girl bed, and she ‘decorated’ it with crayons. Thank goodness the bedsheets can cover the ‘artwork’! ”
MEREDITH NATIONAL MEDIA GROUP President CATHERINE LEVENE President, Meredith Magazines DOUG OLSON President, Consumer Products TOM WITSCHI President, Meredith Digital ALYSIA BORSA
“One of my girls took her fingernails to a brand-new leather chair. I actually don’t mind. The scribbles are part of its history now.”
Executive Vice Presidents Chief Revenue Officer MICHAEL BROWNSTEIN Digital Sales MARLA NEWMAN Finance MICHAEL RIGGS Marketing and Integrated Communications NANCY WEBER Senior Vice Presidents Consumer Revenue ANDY WILSON Corporate Sales BRIAN KIGHTLINGER Research Solutions BRITTA CLEVELAND Strategic Sourcing, Newsstand, Production CHUCK HOWELL Foundry 360 MATT PETERSEN Product and Technology JUSTIN LAW Vice Presidents Finance CHRIS SUSIL Business Planning and Analysis ROB SILVERSTONE Consumer Marketing STEVE CROWE Brand Licensing TOYE CODY, SONDRA NEWKIRK Corporate Communications JILL DAVISON
Vice President, Group Editorial Director LIZ VACCARIELLO Chief Digital Content Officer AMANDA DAMERON Director, Editorial Operations and Finance ALEXANDRA BREZ
“When my son was 4, he drew a massive stickfigure masterpiece on the livingroom wall—of himself. I’m not over it, but it makes me smile, ten years later. I’ve never repainted that wall.”
MEREDITH CORPORATION Chairman and Chief Executive Officer TOM HARTY Chief Financial Officer JASON FRIEROTT Chief Development Officer JOHN ZIESER Chief Strategy Officer DAPHNE KWON President, Meredith Local Media Group PATRICK McCREERY Senior Vice President, Human Resources DINA NATHANSON Senior Vice President, Chief Communications Officer ERICA JENSEN Vice Chairman MELL MEREDITH FRAZIER
© Copyright Meredith Corporation 2021. All rights reserved. Parents is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation, registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Executive, editorial, and advertising offices: 225 Liberty Street, New York, NY 10281. Email: writeus@parents.com. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in any media. Subscribers please note: Our subscribers list is occasionally made available to carefully selected firms whose products may be of interest to you. If you prefer not to receive info from these companies by mail or by phone, please let us know. Send your request and your mailing label to Parents Customer Service, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. Subscription help: Visit us at parents.com/myaccount, email pmmcustserv@cdsfulfillment.com, or call 800-727-3682. For syndication or international licensing requests or reprint and reuse permission, email syndication@meredith.com. Printed in the U.S.A.
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Be Inspired. When you’re ready to explore again, visit the timeless, uncrowded Theodore Roosevelt National Park near the old west town of Medora. Here among the wild horses and bison, wide open spaces and trails through ancient canyons, it becomes clear: the wait was worth it. Visit us online to plan your getaway. LegendaryND.com
PLAYBOOK Your guide to making the days easier and the journey sweeter
LET THERE BE DELIGHT!
Encourage a completely different kind of face time.
PROP STYLING BY KATJA GREEFF.
Put on a Happy Face Attention dads, grandpeeps, cool aunts and uncles: If the kids want to draw their mom a picture for Mother’s Day, suggest that they try it with flowers this year. Start by letting them go wild gathering a selection of petals, leaves, and grasses outdoors—or just offer
photograph by K AT E M AT H I S
them snippets from an almost-faded bouquet. Then take inspiration from designer Justina Blakeney’s @FaceTheFoliage Instagram feed, which is full of portraits made of real blooms. (For more of Blakeney’s inventive style, flip to page 91.) Double-dare the kids to get creative
mapping out features (stems and thin leaves are great for making a nose and face structure, but options are limitless), and use a little school glue to adhere the clippings to a piece of paper. You’ve got a Water Lilies–level beauty—or at least some abstract kid art.
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/ TA K E 5 /
A S M A RT E R TA K E O N “J UST B R E AT H E” A big exhale, drawn out slowly and deliberately, signals to your body to let go of stress, explains Ryan Haddon, a meditation teacher and hypnotherapist based in New Hope, Pennsylvania. Try this exercise to dip into some serenity.
/ I F YO U A S K M E /
“I’m a single mom. How do I make Mother’s Day special for myself, especially after this past year?” Three parents, no wrong answers
1
2
Close your eyes.
3
Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4.
4
Hold for a count of 7.
5
Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 8.
6
Repeat the cycle four more times.
“Take advantage of the sometimes rare occasion to lean heavily into self-care rituals and ‘me time.’ That’s what I do when my boys are with my parents. Open a special bottle and indulge in a glass or two, but not before ordering takeout from a favorite upscale restaurant that you usually bypass for their lack of kid-friendly menu options. Devote the evening to pampering, and nourish your skin’s glow with rejuvenating serums, masks, oils, and creams. Be deliberate about treating yourself well on this day, because you deserve it, Mom!” —Breegan Jane, an interior designer, lifestyle expert, and philanthropist, and single mom of two @breeganjane
“I’ll use the day to reflect on some of the most joyous moments I’ve spent with my son over the years. Then I focus on spending a fun day with him, as he always makes big plans, with a little help from his aunts and grandmother. Since we’re all at home these days, why not enjoy the one-on-one time? Take a walk in a park, watch a movie, or make a favorite dessert together. If the past year has taught us anything, it’s that time is precious. Treasure the ‘alone time’ with your kids. Don’t let the day end without documenting memories with fun photos and videos.”
“Instead of worrying about how your day might differ from the celebrations other moms may have, focus on the fact that you get concentrated time with your kids on this day. Rent a room at a local hotel so you can still get breakfast in bed, take off on an impromptu road trip so you can check out the local sites, or stay home and play board games while keeping your phone on silent. The key is really just to enjoy the day together, no matter what you do. Make amazing memories as a family, and know that really is the very best gift any mom could hope for.”
—Raquel Smith, a celebrity designer/stylist and entrepreneur, and solo mom of one
—Leah Campbell, author of Single Infertile Female and single mom by choice of one @leah_campbell_writes
@raq1010 —Caylin Harris
/ S I M PLE J OY / “I didn’t know hearing my 3-year-old sing for the first time would level me, in a good way, as much as it did. It’s something he only did alone at first, when he didn’t know we could hear and see him on the monitor—he would very sweetly and tunefully belt out ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes,’ with hand movements. It was a private thing he did, and it was so nice to see that he had something that was just his.” —Katie Arnold-Ratliff, Parents senior features editor
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FROM LEFT: ADEMPERCEM/GETTY; COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT (3).
Sit with a straight back and relax your shoulders.
®
*Germs that cause bad breath and early gum disease. Use as directed. ©Johnson & Johnson Consumer Inc. 2021
P L AY B O O K
FOODIE EDITION
THE SHORT LIST This month’s lineup of what’s new, novel, and nice to know
If oat milk and bananas had a baby, it might be dairy-free Banana Wave. The drink has bananashake vibes, so you can sip it straight or get creative and add it to something like overnight oats or chia pudding. And because it’s shelfstable, you can keep it on standby in the pantry. $4 for 32 oz.; grocery stores Iridescent and rainbowy, this stainless-steel dishware is the brainchild of mom and pediatrician Manasa Mantravadi, M.D., who realized that parents were having trouble following the 2018 recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics to favor using glass or stainless steel for kids over plasticware, which can contain potentially harmful chemicals. The Ahimsa dishware washes easily and lasts and lasts. $64 for the set; ahimsahome.com
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G U M ST U C K IN KID HAIR?!? Yep, there’s a fix. Peanut butter or olive oil—or any other kitchen staple that ends in oil—and some patience will get sticky gum out of your kid’s hair. Just spread the slippery substance of choice along your child’s gumloaded strands and use your fingernails to work away the tacky goo. It’ll release bit by bit. Afterward, bathe your kid to wash away any greasiness; the residue should be gone within one to two shampoos. Source: Cozy Friedman, founder of SoCozy hair care and the salon Cozy’s Cuts for Kids, in New York City.
/ LET IT GO /
My kid locked himself in the bathroom so he could eat a snack without having to share it, and just like that he became a mom. @moderately_mom
“THE SHORT LIST”: COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHERS AND BRANDS. “OOPS!”: NATALIE FOBES/GETTY.
In her debut cookbook, Pepper Teigen—aka Chrissy Teigen’s mom—shares dishes that appear on the regular in the TeigenLegend household. The Pepper Thai Cookbook: Family Recipes from Everyone’s Favorite Thai Mom will inspire you to try Nam Prik Moo Sloppy Joes and Roasted Lemongrass Chicken. Out April 13, $30; amazon.com
P L AY B O O K
/ C AT C H I N G U P W I T H /
Michelle Obama
The longtime champion of raising healthy eaters is giving parents their next assist with a food-focused kids’ show on Netflix.
WHILE THE
world keeps changing, there remains a constant: kids who won’t touch their vegetables with a 10-foot fork. Michelle Obama, who championed healthy foods as First Lady, is still on a mission to change pickyeater hearts and minds. Her latest project is Waffles + Mochi, a sort of Muppetsmeets-cooking-show kids’ series on Netflix from Higher Ground, the production team she and former President Barack Obama founded. Michelle stars as a supermarket owner alongside the titular puppets, two freezer-aisle foods that dream of learning how to cook. They meet big-name chefs like Samin Nosrat and José Andrés, who teach them how to prepare foods from around the world. A stream of celebrity cameos (Jack Black, Common, Rashida Jones) keeps things entertaining, even for the grown-ups. We asked about her own mealtime M.O. and what pandemic family life, Obama-style, has been like. Waffles + Mochi is all about expanding kids’ palates as well as their worldview. We’d love to hear why you wanted to make this show.
The work I did for children’s health as First Lady wasn’t an act. And while I was working on my Let’s Move! campaign,
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I learned how important it is to meet kids where they are and get them excited about trying new, nutritious foods. For me, Waffles + Mochi is an application of that lesson. It’s not a lecture. It’s not finger wagging. It’s genuinely funny. It takes us on adventures, from a potato farm in Peru to a kimchi festival in South Korea. And I think it will help parents because, as we all know, putting healthy meals on the table is one thing, but getting your kids to eat them is another thing entirely. What was your strategy to get your own daughters to try new foods?
I wish I had easy answers, but I think the biggest thing was to keep introducing different flavors and ingredients into the mix. It sometimes took my girls ten or more times to embrace a new food, but eventually we got there.
PORTRAIT: MILLER MOBLEY/NETFLIX. WARDROBE STYLING BY MEREDITH KOOP. HAIRSTYLING BY YENE DAMTEW. MAKEUP BY CARL RAY. IMAGE FROM SHOW: ADAM ROSE/NETFLIX.
What is a typical Obama family weeknight dinner?
When Sasha and Malia were little, we were a big chickenand-broccoli family. It was easy to cook and I knew the girls liked it, so it became my go-to on busy weeknights. Spring is a great season for most people to start a vegetable garden. What’s your advice on getting into it—especially with kids?
Just jump in and get your hands dirty. I know that not every family has easy access to a lot of fertile land, but I’d encourage trying out raised beds and pots. You can grow wonderful things on a balcony. Any way you can get kids familiar with veggies and fruits is a win in my book. That’s a big part of the reason why we’re raising money through the Partnership for a
Any way you can get kids familiar with veggies and fruits is a win, says the former First Lady.
Healthier America to provide more than one million meals to families in need. Anyone who is able can donate at wafflesandmochi.org. What has it been like to be home with your collegeage kids for months?
We’ve had it a lot easier than a lot of folks out there on the front lines saving lives and doing all those essential jobs. For Barack and me, while life is certainly different, we’ve been fortunate to spend so much time with each other and with the girls. One thing I’ve come to cherish are long, spontaneous conversations. Whether we’re talking about the Black Lives Matter movement or a new Netflix show, I’m always learning something new from them.
reckoning with racism in this country. Just a few months later, it was the threat to our democracy from inside our own government and the violence of the riots at the Capitol. There’s just so much work to do. And the reality is there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but for me, when it comes to self-care, I’ve found keeping up with my routine helps me stay grounded. That means getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising—the basics. And sometimes that means being okay with not doing anything “right” and practicing self-compassion. We can all offer a little more grace, to ourselves and to others, right now.
You’ve shared that you experienced a low-grade depression during the pandemic. So many moms have been in that boat. How have you coped?
It’s been tough, I’m not going to lie. But it’s not just the pandemic—we were all shaken by the murder of George Floyd, and then the overdue
A new young readers’ edition of Michelle Obama’s memoir, Becoming, has been adapted for ages 10 and up. $19
How do you raise kids so they know that their voices and opinions matter and that they can effect change?
My mother, Marian Robinson, could really write the book on this. Ever since my brother and I were little, she took our questions and thoughts about the world seriously. Never sugarcoating her responses, always doing more listening than lecturing. That did wonders for me when it came time to use my own voice out in the world. Raising my own daughters, I’ve always tried to follow her example. What’s one piece of advice for today’s parents?
Think of your kids as little people in training. The boundaries, rules, guidelines, and discipline you set and teach them to live by when they are young will be the foundation that carries them throughout their lives. Whether we are treating others with empathy or just getting to work on time, we are preparing them to leave the nest and be independent, responsible human beings on this earth.
NEW MINERAL FOAM SUNSCREEN. KIDS LOVE THE SCENTED, COLORFUL FOAM. MOMS LOVE THE NO-MISSEDSPOTS PROTECTION THAT RUBS IN CLEAR. BANANA BOAT SUNSCREEN LASTS AS LONG AS THE FUN DOES. Reapply as directed on product label.
KIDS.
H E L P T H E M T H R I V E I N E V E R Y WA Y LET KIDS DOODLE ON T H E I R M OV I N G B OX E S S O T H E Y C A N F I N D T H E I R S T U F F FA S T.
Moves are predicted to increase 20 percent in 2021.
Your Family’s Moving. Now What? Uprooting your child from their home, school, and friends can be as heartbreaking as it is exciting. Here’s how to unpack their feelings, help them adjust to the transition, and even look forward to it too.
Older kids may want to pack a moving-day bag with special possessions.
by J E N N I F E R K I N G LINDLEY
photograph by PRISCILL A G R AG G
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KI D SÑA dv i c e
WHEN MY
daughter, Hannah, was 2 years old, we moved across country from Boston to Indiana for a job. It was a huge upheaval for our sensitive toddler—she was leaving her day-care buddies, her favorite playground, and Grandma. But Hannah seemed cheery as she affixed pony stickers to the big moving boxes that clogged our way-beyond-outgrown apartment. She loved to look at photos of our new house with—parental hard sell here—a big backyard to play in! On moving-in day, however, I had barely unpacked the microwave when Hannah’s worries began. “Where’s Nancy?” she demanded over and over. Her beloved music teacher from her old day care was clearly a symbol for all she’d left behind. And she wasn’t keen
on her “big girl” bedroom, down a scary hall from me and her dad. For the first few weeks, she found every excuse to flee it. Moving is a fact of life for many kids. Typically, about 10 percent of children ages 1 to 14 move in a given year, and for at least one third of that group, the move entails switching schools. With the freedom to work remotely, more families left big cities last year. But recent research suggests that the address changes can have significant consequences for kids. “Moves during both early and middle childhood can be associated with at least temporary decreases in children’s social skills and increases in emotional and behavioral problems,” says Rebekah Levine Coley, Ph.D., professor of psychology
at Boston College, who tracked kids from babyhood to age 13. Kids who are generally chill may take it in all stride. But by being aware of potential challenges, you can help your kids cope when you’re feeling crazed and still can’t find the box with all the beach towels. And in the long run, you’ll be modeling lifelong lessons in adjusting to change. “Life is full of big transitions,” says Ellen Braaten, Ph.D., codirector of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital, in Boston. “Moving is a great opportunity for kids to practice resilience when you are there to help them.”
Babies and Toddlers A child this age is pretty portable because their world is centered around family, notes Roy Benaroch, M.D., an Atlantaarea pediatrician and author of Getting the Best Health Care for Your Child. As long as all The Important People are coming, too, it’s cool. At the same time, routine and predictability do matter. PAU S E F O R S N U G G LE S .
“A baby doesn’t care if the knickknacks are all unpacked. They want your attention,” says Azmaira Maker, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in San Diego. “If you can be engaged and playful with them, that will make a big difference in how they adjust.” So make time for lots of hugs and tickles. When they’re off to kindergarten in a couple of years, you can alphabetize the spices.
How much you explain to your little one about your move depends on how verbal they are. Recruiting one of their stuffed animals can be a good strategy, says Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., author of Freeing Your Child From Anxiety. “You can talk to it and say, ‘Hey Bear, you will have a new house but you will still get to live in Olivia’s room.’ ” PAC K T H E I R B E D R O O M L A S T A N D U N PAC K I T F I R S T.
Experts agree that setting up kids’ rooms is a crucial first-day goal. Amid the hot mess, they can have a safe haven. “On moving day,
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I pulled my kids’ sheets off their beds at the old house, washed them, then packed them in a special suitcase,” says Stacy Gentling, of Oklahoma City. “When we got to the new place, they were able to sleep on their favorite, familiar sheets the first night.” Packing a backpack or a small bag for each child with “can’t sleep without it” items can prevent ripping open everything in a desperate search for the unicorn night-light.
V I S UA L S A R E U S E F U L .
Moving Stories These picture books will help your kids work through their emotions about the big day.
At this age, seeing is believing. Ideally, take your child to visit the new house or play in the new yard before the move. If that’s not possible, give them a video house tour or look at photos. “Google Maps was my new best friend,” Gentling says. “We walked through the new neighborhood and downtown that way. The place felt familiar when we got there.” LE T YO U R C H I LD “ H E LP.”
KEEP TO CRUCIAL ROUTINES.
Bad Bye, Good Bye Written by Deborah Underwood, illustrated by Jonathan Bean With sparse, lyrical text and expressive illustrations, this book captures the range of reactions a young boy has to leaving his old house and settling into his new one. Ages 2 to 5
Preschoolers Kids this age will sense that big changes are in the air, but they may have no practical concept of what a move entails, Dr. Chansky says. They may wonder, “Do we get to keep our old house too?” “Are we taking the toilet?” or, more harrowingly, “Will I have to leave all my toys and pets for the new family?” You can reassure them and put things in perspective. TA LK A B O U T W H AT ’ S H A P P E N I N G .
Children pick up on those whispered conversations, so tell them as soon as you can. You don’t need to give your kid months of advance warning, but fill them in when it’s getting obvious: You’re showing the house, readying for the big yard sale, packing. Spell out what is staying the same (the whole family is coming, your bed is coming) and what is changing (we will have a basketball hoop, you will have a new preschool). Even if you have qualms, presenting the move in a positive light is crucial because your child will take cues from you. “I shared with my kids a list of three reasons to be excited,” says Ali Wenzke, author of The Art of Happy Moving. “Dad is going to build a treehouse in the backyard, you can walk to school, and we can ride our bikes to the ice-cream shop.”
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TA K E A DVA N TAG E O F T H E I R T O TA L O B S E S S I O N W IT H B OX E S .
Evelyn Del Rey Is Moving Away Written by Meg Medina, illustrated by Sonia Sánchez This highly acclaimed title from 2020 will resonate with elementary-age kids who are upset about leaving their BFF. The important message: True friendship endures. Ages 5 to 9
Wenzke moved from Chicago to Knoxville, Tennessee, with three kids under age 4. “While we were packing, I would make little caves for the kids by turning boxes on their sides. I put a blanket and a flashlight and books and snacks in there. We also created villages out of boxes—a school, a hospital—or turned them into race cars. It made them think of the whole experience as a fun time. Meanwhile, I was frantically packing whatever I could nearby.” B E A F R I E N D S H I P C OAC H .
Pals help a new place feel like home, but forging relationships takes time. “We did a lot of role-playing together about how to approach a new kid at the playground or the pool,” Wenzke says. “I reminded kids: S.E.A.: Smile. Eye contact. Arms open.”
Hello, New House Written and illustrated by Jane Smith When a girl’s family moves across the country, she realizes that some things changed, but, unexpectedly, many stayed the same. Ages 4 to 8
School-Age Kids They’re leaving beloved teachers, teams, and—sob!—friends. “Parents can underestimate the impact of losing friendships,” Dr. Benaroch says. “When a kid has had a bestie for a couple of
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Aim for priorities, not perfection. “Think about the showstoppers in your child’s daily life routine,” advises parent coach Carla Naumburg, Ph.D., author of Parenting in the Present Moment. “My daughters are a mess if they don’t get enough sleep at night. When we moved, I tried my hardest to keep them to their regular bedtimes.” But laying out clothes the night before? LOL.
Put your preschooler in charge of packing up some of their books or games so they feel they’re contributing. With the proper spin, kids can even help weed out all the junk not worth moving: “I set up a ‘toy store’ in our basement, collecting all the toys from around the house,” recalls Wenzke. “Then I gave the kids sticky tabs so they could ‘buy’ anything they wanted to keep by tagging it. We ended up getting rid of a ton because the kids knew exactly what they wanted to buy and what they didn’t need anymore.”
THEY SEE THE PERSON WHO LOVES THEM.
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years, that feels like forever. Moving away can be really hard.” But there are ways to help them over the hump. D O N ’ T TA K E I T P E R S O N A LLY.
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If your kid says something like, “I’m not moving. I hate you,” it’s easy to get defensive, especially if you’re stressed, Dr. Braaten says. “You may want to yell back, ‘You can’t talk to me like that! We have to move for my job.’ ” Instead, listen for the feelings behind the words and empathize. Or share your ambivalence. You could say, “I’m excited to move, but I’ll really miss our neighbors.” Hearing what you’re going through can help them put their own feelings into words. F I N D WAYS T O S AY G O O D BY E .
“Giving kids some closure helps them process these significant changes,”
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says Dr. Braaten. “Offer your child choices: Would you like to go to the playground with Ava? Or make something for her to keep?” Dr. Naumburg recalls: “My 6-yearold went around the house saying goodbye to each room: Goodbye, kitchen. Thanks for all the food.” S E T U P A N E M A I L F O R YO U R K I D.
Technology makes it easier for your kid to stay in touch with the friends they’re leaving behind. If they don’t have one already, establish an email address that they can use to send notes and photos. Assure them that they can use Zoom or FaceTime to hang out together. They can also buddy up for online games. Planning a future trip to see a left-behind best friend, if possible, can be a helpful way of making goodbye not feel like forever.
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Playing up the cool things kids will be able to do in their new yard helps.
Here We Go Again ... Moving once can be hard enough. But being uprooted multiple times because of job changes, divorce, or being in the military brings extra challenges. Some tips on weathering a new round:
Stick to real talk. This time, at least, moving is no longer a great unknown. Use that experience to help explain what’s ahead, suggests Dr. Tamar Chansky. Try for a positive spin: “You did a good job with all the changes when we moved to this house. Do you remember that?” If you are faced with shrieks and tears, resist the urge to swear that after this time you will stay put forever. “Remain in the present, and don’t make promises if you’re not sure about the future,” she says.
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Preserve stability in other ways. Returning to the same beloved sleepaway camp every summer, arranging just-likealways trips to the grandparents, or enrolling in an activity or sport that kids are passionate about can reassure them that not everything they love is changing.
Give it time. Another move may unleash big feelings, especially if your older child has to leave friends they worked hard to make last time. Be patient as they work through emotions, but continue to set appropriate, positive, and healthy limits. Being mad about being the new kid at school again: fine. Shoving your sister because of it: not fine. Keep an extra-close eye on your child’s adjustment, and check with a school counselor or a therapist if you worry about your child’s coping during this stressful transition.
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Cats may have a positive effect on kids with autism. When families of children with autism adopted a feline friend, the kids experienced an increase in empathy, less separation anxiety, and a decrease in problem behaviors like inattention and hyperactivity, according to a study in Pediatric Nursing.
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Even if your child’s sports are canceled, they can still work their muscles at home. In recent guidelines, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says kids can start resistance training by age 5 to 7. This helps improve cardiovascular fitness, maintain a healthy weight, reduce injuries, and increase confidence. Get pumping with these tips. K E E P I T LI G H T.
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Play some music and focus on fun, not turning your kid into a gym rat. Have them do moves that target the major muscle groups: lower body (squats), upper body (push-ups), and core (crunches). If these moves are too difficult, modify them; you can move push-ups from the floor to against a wall, says Avery D. Faigenbaum, Ed.D., professor of pediatric exercise science at The College of New Jersey, in Ewing, and a lead author of the AAP’s new policy. Up the fun with quirky new names: Squats become “frog jumps” and planks turn into “crocodile stands.” Once your child gets the hang of those, they can use light weights, like resistance bands or 1- or 2-pound dumbbells. Aim for one or two sets of eight to 12 repetitions of these basic moves. Workouts should last 20 to 30 minutes (start at ten to 15 minutes and
increase as your kid gets stronger), two to three days a week, taking a day off in between to recover. Go to pecentral.org or activekids .com for more exercises. MAKE SAFETY THE N U M B E R - O N E P R I O R I T Y.
An adult should always supervise. To prevent injuries, have your kid warm up by doing jumping jacks or marching in place and later cool down with stretches. “Show them each exercise first so they see what it looks like,” says Dr. Faigenbaum. And make sure your kid has eaten and is hydrated to help them maintain their energy. TA K E P R E C AU T I O N S .
Most kids can start without a go-ahead from their doctor, but if your child has a chronic health condition, they should get medical clearance first, Dr. Faigenbaum says.
No more wondering if you gave your kid their round of antibiotics. Created by a mom, Tooktake labels (available in daily, hourly, and seven- to ten-day formats) help you keep track. Put one of the stickers on any bottle of medication and take off a tab each time you dole out a dose. Starting at $5 for four; tooktake.com
Is your baby notorious for spitting out liquid meds? Try The Accu-Dose Pacifier from MediFrida. It delivers drugs to the inside of the cheek, bypassing taste buds. The result: What goes in doesn’t come out. Ages 0 to 2, $13; frida.com
If your kid has a tough time swallowing pills, squirt a few sprays of Pill Glide into their mouth and throat first. The strawberry-flavored spritz coats their tongue to help make large or icky capsules go down more easily with a gulp of water. $7.50 for a 1-oz. bottle; amazon.com
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Uplifting messages about Black people in school lead to better grades for Black children. Students in sixth, eighth, and tenth grades who encountered messages of Black pride through class assignments had better grades in school one to two years later, according to research published in Child Development. The lessons included learning about family history, reading books by AfricanAmerican authors, or discussing issues in the community.
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the kids outdoors (and away from their screens) can be as simple as asking them to pick a flower or gather some fruit. “We grow berries for our smoothies and cut chives to sauté into an omelet,” says father of three Donald Pell, a landscape designer who owns Donald Pell Gardens, in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. “It gets the kids excited, and I can see that they feel happy out in ‘their’ garden.” Because I’m a garden designer who often reports on gardening trends, families ask me how they should start their own green patch. I tell them to start prepping now, in the springtime, for a lush garden by midsummer. Getting things rolling is as easy as scoping out a sunny spot: Most plants thrive with at least six hours of direct sunlight daily. Don’t worry if the sun falls on a patio—you can grow plenty in containers. If you’re lucky enough to have multiple sunny locations, I vote for one that’s close to a hose hookup.
Get Your Family Garden On Make your plans and plant seeds now and, come summer, you’ll have your pick of flowers and food. You’ll also cultivate some essential life skills: When kids tend to plants, they learn to care for the little things—and one another. by L A U R E N D U N E C H O A N G / photographs by E R I N K U N K E L
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PREP THE GROUND
Once you’ve settled on a planting area, make that little patch of soil as pristine, weedfree, and nutrient-packed as possible. That’s a perfect spring-day activity, and the kids can help by clearing
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sticks, rocks, and weeds out of the way. You’ll need to dig up any plants you’re ready to replace too. Turn over the soil and break up any dirt clods using a shovel, and let your kid help out with a child-size one. Rake the soil level, then spread a 4-inch layer of organic compost (available from garden stores) over the planting area. Dig this nutrient-rich layer into the soil and rake smooth. If you’re planting in raised beds, follow all the same steps above. And if you’re using pots, invest in ones that are at least 12 inches deep (20 inches deep is even better), and make sure each one has a drainage hole. (Sometimes you have to create one using a drill or by tapping a nail on the bottom of the pot with a hammer.) Kids can fill pots with potting soil as well as a few shovelfuls of organic compost per pot.
START TO GROW
S T R AW B E R R I E S
Ask at a nursery for the best ones for your region. Tuck the plants along the edges of beds or in a pot. Plant in spring. Berries will ripen in early summer, and some go through fall.
VEGGIES & HERBS
“Let kids choose the kinds of veggies they want to grow and eat,” says landscape designer Lonna Lopez of Pine House Edible Gardens, in Oakland, California. “The more they can be involved, the more excited they’ll be to harvest and eat the food when it’s ready.” BASIL
PICK YOUR PLANTS
These recommendations keep kids (and their love of payoff) in mind. The plants have high success rates in most climates, especially if you adopt a few tips from the experts.
Tuck basil plants around the base of your tomatoes. “The essential oils in the herb help deter pests, and some people even think putting basil near tomatoes makes the tomatoes taste better,” Lopez says. Pick the leaves all summer to keep the plant from flowering (literally, “going to seed,” which means the end of its life). C H E R RY T O M AT O E S
BERRIES
Check for the last date of frost in your area by entering your zip code or city in The Old Farmer’s Almanac website (almanac.com/gardening/ frostdates). After that date, it’s safe to put seeds and seedlings (baby plants) outside. Before that date, you and the kids can start seeds in small pots inside on a sunny window, but only if that sounds like a fun project, as you’ll need to transfer them outdoors later. The fast track is buying young plants from your local nursery when it’s warm enough to plant. They’re grown in greenhouses by pros, so although they cost more than seeds, they’ll be larger and hardier.
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Kids won’t need much convincing when it comes to picking delicious backyard berries. Landscape designer Donald Pell says he doesn’t sweat sharing with wildlife. “I’m not surrounding every plant with bird netting. I just want my family to have positive experiences, and if the birds come and eat some of our berries, we’re happy to see them,” he says. B L AC K B E R R I E S
Try thornless ‘Apache’, which has giant berries with great flavor. Grow on a fence in the back of the garden so it has room to sprawl. Short on space? ‘Black Cascade’ will grow in pots or in hanging baskets.
Plant in spring and harvest July through September. B LU E B E R R I E S
“Plant two varieties, as they’ll produce better than one,” says landscape designer Robin Parsons, owner of Spring Greenworks, in Kirkland, Washington. Parsons likes ‘Jelly Bean’ and ‘Sunshine Blue’, both kid-height and possible to grow in pots. Ask an expert at your local nursery if they’ll thrive in your area. Plant in spring and harvest June through August. RASPBERRIES
Thorn-free ‘Raspberry Shortcake’ produces sweet berries, needs no trellising, and can be grown in a pot. Plant in spring and harvest in midsummer.
Try supersweet ‘Sun Gold’ for snacking on straight from the garden. Growing in pots? Parsons recommends ‘Tumbling Tom’, a compact variety that spills over the edge of a container. Start from seedlings planted in April or May; harvest by midsummer. RAINBOW SWISS CHARD
Lopez says that her son Jasper, 9, happily munches on these leaves. “He loves how pretty the plants are with their red, pink, or yellow stems,” she says. To delight your kids, plant a rainbow variety like ‘Bright Lights’. Plant seedlings in spring and harvest them once they’re medium-size by removing the outer leaves. Allow more leaves to grow, and harvest again. Repeat!
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Kids are not always gentle with plants, but that’s part of the learning process. Fortunately, a lot of plants thrive when you pick their flowers, leaves, and fruit. It keeps them healthy!
plants, like zucchini and tomatoes, shouldn’t have their leaves soaked. Teach little helpers to water the soil around the plants instead of showering them willy-nilly. Preschoolers may do best using a watering can to aim water straight on the ground around plants. If kids are eager for the hose, have them set it on the lawn, which won’t mind extra irrigation. S Q UA S H E S
MARIGOLDS
Tender squashes such as zucchini and hard-skinned ones like pumpkins take almost no care and grow quickly into a satisfying jungle. For zucchini, start in the spring and harvest after 35 to 55 days. Wait until the fall to pick pumpkins.
Try ‘Tangerine Gem’, which has small orange flowers and is a deterrent to whitefly (a tomato pest).
PEAS
Try ‘Sugar Daddy’, a sugarsnap type, or ‘Mammoth Melting Sugar’, a snow-pea variety, or one of each. After 60 to 75 days, harvest every few days for the sweetest taste (wait too long and they turn starchy). “Kids can pop them right into their mouth,” Lopez says.
FLOWERS
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WATERING, THEN
HARVEST
ENJOYING!
NASTURTIUMS
Choose any variety. All parts of the plant—flowers, leaves, and stems—are edible. “We make huge salads from fresh kale, lettuce, and edible flowers,” Lopez says. “My son will eat bowls of it!” SUNFLOWERS
If you’d like to try starting from seeds, sunflowers are a fast-growing option. Plant ‘Teddy Bear’, which is kid-height and fuzzy. ‘Mammoth’ can reach more than 12 feet tall, a challenge for older kids who can stake them up. SWEET PEAS
Colorful ones not only look beautiful, they also attract pollinators, inviting a lesson in being kind to bees and butterflies. Annual flowers give kids instant gratification and fill in quickly for a bigger wow.
SUMMER IS FOR
Cover a trellis with these sweet-smelling favorites that you can grow from seed or seedlings. Try ‘Grower’s Choice Pride Mix’, in new pastel colors, at floretflowers.com. Pick for a bouquet and let kids share with a neighbor.
TAKE GOOD CARE
Water immediately after planting, and keep the soil consistently moist while plants are small. After a few weeks, taper off to watering plants in the ground two or three times a week and in pots every other day. Watering is a great chore for school-age kids. “It allows them to observe the growth of the plants and gives them a sense of pride for their efforts,” landscape designer Robin Parsons says. Some
Recruit your kids to help collect fruits, veggies, and flowers every few days throughout the summer. Frequent picking encourages the plants to keep producing (win-win). “Kids learn how food is grown and how much better it tastes when you grow it yourself,” landscape designer Lonna Lopez says. Step back and enjoy the process—even when you hit the inevitable snags: Seeds may fail, and squirrels may steal a berry (or 20). And kids themselves may not start out as gentle stewards. “They run through the gardens while playing,” Pell says. “It’s their habitat, too, and if they accidentally trample something, I show them how to care for it.”
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My Son Has Food Allergies (Thank You for Understanding)
The pandemic has had a silver lining for my family: More people can now appreciate what it’s like to live every day in emergency-preparedness mode. by L I S A L O M B A R D I
LAST SPRING,
a meme popped up in my feed that made me let out a gallows laugh: “Who knew being a food-allergy mom would prepare me for a pandemic?” To borrow a Twitter phrase: THIS . My 14-year-old son, Gus, is severely allergic to peanuts and tree nuts, so for years we’ve been washing hands like surgical residents, and we’ve wiped down surfaces every time we ate out. We knew the closest emergency room and exactly what to do during a reaction (EpiPen
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injection first, then dial 911). We even had a pulse oximeter. Our preparedness to guard against a worst-case scenario felt like a win when the pandemic hit. Our everyday caution—which can be exhausting and feel awkward at social events—was now a superpower. As it turns out, COVID life has had multiple upsides for food-allergy families like mine. Stuck at home with just the food we cook ourselves, we’ve felt safer. My son has been tucked away
from all the land mines, like big family holiday parties with surprise boxes of walnut-dusted bakery cookies plopped on the table—or Halloween, with kids eating Snickers while sticking their hands into communal bowls. Not to mention restaurant meals that have unexpected ingredients (like the crushed peanuts garnishing the ribs my son ordered in a dimly lit restaurant), or random accidents, like a pal eating a nutty granola bar and then grabbing Gus’s phone.
YAROSLAV DANYLCHENKO/STOCKSY.
Social distancing has reduced the risk of accidental exposure for kids.
Peanuts Milk Egg Fish Shellfish Grains Tree Nuts Soy Sesame
Eat. Train. Thrive.
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6 Tips for Smart Feeding The critical window to train your baby’s stomach to see foods just as foods starts early.
Dr. Swanson, Chief Medical Officer at SpoonfulONE, pediatrician, author, and mom of two boys
3. Don’t delay. Pediatricians like me now recommend starting food allergen introduction when you start solids.
4. Go for variety and diversity.
Dr. Wendy Sue Swanson breaks down why feeding food allergens early and often is best for your baby.
Focus on introducing a wide range of common allergens like peanut, tree nuts, milk, egg, fish, shellfish, grains, soy, and sesame. Diet diversity is crucial.
1. Understand immunity. Your
5. Consistency is key! Research
baby’s stomach and GI tract contain 70% of their immune system. You can help train it early with the right diverse foods, at the right time.
shows that babies’ tummies learn with early introduction and repeat feedings, so make it a daily routine and aim for at least one year.
2. Re-think milestones. Feeding
6. Talk to your pediatrician. If your
guidelines have changed. Pivotal research proves that early introduction and ongoing feeding of food allergens is critical for babies.
child has severe eczema or atopic dermatitis, speak with your doctor about food allergen introduction and timing.
The Most Complete Way to Introduce Food Allergens*
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As someone who has to deal with food allergies on a daily basis…I want to do EVERYTHING I can to help my daughter from having the same restrictions.” –Julia Berolzheimer, mom and entrepreneur
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I started SpoonfulONE because I saw the growth in food allergies and couldn’t accept the status quo. I made it my personal mission to create a safe and convenient product to help give families, like yours, confidence.” – Dr. Kari Nadeau, globally recognized pediatric allergist, SpoonfulONE co-founder, and mom of five
Q
ASK YOUR PEDIATRICIAN
For more guidance on baby’s food journey, take these conversation starters to your next doctor visit.
Cut out, or snap a photo and bring to your next visit!
Is my baby at high risk for developing a food allergy? How often should I be feeding food allergens? And for how long? How should I start an allergen introduction routine? Is there a connection between my baby’s eczema and food allergies? (Hint: Yes!) What are the signs of a food allergy?
Fast Facts About Food Allergies:
1 in 13
children in the U.S. have a food allergy
2 out of 3
children who develop a food allergy don’t have a parent with one Source: FoodAllergy.org; Gupta RS, et al. Hygiene factors associated with childhood food allergy and asthma. Allergy Asthma Proc. 2016;37(6):140-146.
Melinda @melindawatts_
One in 13 kids—that’s about two in every classroom—has a food allergy.
All food-allergy families have their origin story. We were on a family vacation out of the country when Gus first reacted to nuts. I fed him a cashew-raisin mix and his face started swelling. Within seconds, my 3-yearold was coughing, and he stuck his tongue out, gagging. I knew his throat could be swelling, making it difficult for him to breathe. Our trip turned into an episode of ER, with me rummaging for the liquid Zyrtec in our bags while my husband called for a doctor. Thankfully, our little guy was okay. When we returned home, we found an allergist and learned how to manage life with a food allergy. The advice kept on coming—from his doctors, other parents in the Facebook groups I belong to, allergy Twitter, even the woman on the Trader Joe’s hotline who cheerfully checks food after food for me to make sure they aren’t made on the same
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production line as foods that contain walnuts, cashews, or peanuts. But it’s no nut-free picnic. If you don’t have a child with food allergies, it can be hard to comprehend what it’s like to worry that grabbing and eating the wrong food—a simple accident—could be
MY SON HAS BEEN T U C K E D AWAY FROM ALL THE LAND MINES,LIKE B I G FA M I LY H O L I D AY PA R T I E S W I T H WA L N U T- D U S T E D B A K E RY COOKIES PLOPPED O N T H E TA B L E .
life-threatening. I’m someone who has anxiety to begin with, so living with the fear of my child inadvertently getting a fraction of a pistachio or a sprinkling of peanut that causes him to have a severe immune overreaction is terrifying. I’ve had to use the EpiPen on Gus, and one horrible Halloween, I rode in an ambulance with him. I got in without my handbag or coat, searching his body for signs like puffy lips that might mean the first dose of epinephrine wasn’t doing the trick, while the EMT made small talk to keep him alert. Other parents have experienced far worse. We live each day knowing that we may have to spring into action. We’re scared of missing the signs of anaphylaxis for minutes and then having the reaction progress too far, too fast. But it makes us strong; it makes us mama and papa bears. I often remind myself that despite my son’s allergies, he is healthy, wise, and mature. I am safe in this moment, as the yoga mantra goes. However, we can never let down our guard, especially at social events; there’s always a chance of a dish having unsafe ingredients or of cross-contact. If you have a child with food allergies, you’ve been there: Your kid’s eyes light up when the host brings out a tray of brownies, and then you have to say, “Sorry, sweetie, you can’t eat that.” At other times, I’m the one digging through the other family’s trash in search of a chips bag so I can double-check the label. While our friends understand my dumpster diving, it can feel lonely to be the no-fun Nina at the party, scowling at fine print. So the pandemic gave me a gift I didn’t even know I needed: I felt seen. The whole world was in prevention mode, weighing what might have touched their groceries or takeout food. Whether our kids have food allergies or not, we all scrub our hands now. We all might call ahead to double-check a restaurant’s precautions and whether the chef wears gloves. Although you may be paranoid about an unmasked person coughing on your family’s food, not a dangerous drizzle of pesto on your kid’s pizza, as everything got strange, I didn’t feel strange anymore. Of course, the limitations on regular life will ease up soon, and families like
CHELSEA CAVANAUGH/OFFSET.
K I D S Ñ S a fe t y
JOHN-PATRICK MORARESCU/GETTY.
mine will need to be on guard again. I’m fine with that, since it’s not normal to be in a bubble. From the day Gus was diagnosed, my husband and I knew that we wanted him to be able to enjoy all of the fun stuff that childhood has to offer. Baseball games and sleepovers and camps and s’mores in front of a firepit. Bring it on. Make that, bring it on safely. One of the last social things my son did before the world shut down was to go to a friend’s bar mitzvah. I was anxious (buffet-style food made by someone else—eek) but I relied on our training. After contacting the mom and the caterer, I gave Gus very specific rules (“The kid desserts are safe, but do not eat anything from the adult dessert table”). As I dropped him off with his EpiPen in his backpack, I swallowed a golf ball–size lump in my throat and said, “Have fun!” Because he’s got this. I hear my middle-schooler, in his sweetly cracking adolescent voice, tell a takeout place on the phone, “I am allergic to all nuts. Can you please make sure that nothing with peanuts or tree nuts goes near it?” Pause. “Do you use a shared fryer?” And I feel more proud than I would if he’d just won the Nobel Prize. When I think about (to trot out the cliché of all clichés) the new normal, I hope we can keep this shared concern for different health challenges—the appreciation that not everyone’s immune system functions in the exact same way, that some people really do need to be ultravigilant. Imagining post-COVID life makes me think of the classic home-design advice: “You need to take everything out of a room to know what you want to put back.” We’ve taken everything out of the room, and I hope we put back empathy, understanding, and tolerance for the families like mine who still have to live more cautiously.
Be Prepared to Help Hover your phone’s camera over the smart code to watch a video about how to give an epinephrine injection.
How to (Safely) Host Kids With Food Allergies Sometime soon-ish, we won’t need to stay 6 feet apart. Here’s a refresher before you resume playdates.
Know the signs of anaphylaxis. This allergic emergency is a multisystem reaction and may include coughing, wheezing, or shortness of breath; hives; throat or tongue swelling; hoarse voice; difficulty swallowing; blue, gray, or pale skin; significant vomiting or diarrhea; or lethargy, confusion, dizziness, or light-headedness (from low blood pressure). Less severe symptoms can be eye itching and swelling; repetitive sneezing; or skin itching or redness. Follow the Anaphylaxis Emergency Plan given to you by the child’s family, and learn how to give the auto-injector.
Don’t tempt your kid guest with a treat before checking the ingredients.
Discuss allergies in advance. When arranging a playdate, you’ll want to ask, “Are there any food allergies I should know about?” “Understand that there are certain steps that need to be taken at all times and in all circumstances to keep a child with a food allergy safe,” says Parents advisor Michael Pistiner, M.D., director of food allergy advocacy, education, and prevention for the MassGeneral Hospital for Children’s Food Allergy Center. A playdate needs to be a collaboration between families where the goal is for both to feel completely comfortable. Next, talk food. Will the kids be eating? Many families opt to send along an allergy-safe meal or snack. But if it’s agreed that you’ll provide the food, be sure to learn how to read a label for the
specific allergens and check that all ingredients and brands are safe for your child’s friend. As a backup, you can text photos of the food labels to the other parent for a quick “yay” or “stay away.” To avoid cross-contact (unintended introduction of allergens during cooking or serving), clean counters and tables where the children will be with soap and water or commercial cleaners. Before any eating, have them wash their hands, and use separate utensils for all foods. If possible, avoid serving your child the allergen while their friend has their “safe” lunch, because there can be cross-contact (and their friend may also be worried). Let the parents know if you often use that allergen; a remedy may be to serve only the meal that the friend brought from home or fruit like a banana or an apple.
Practice makes perfect. Not all epinephrine auto-injectors are the same, so it’s important to be trained on a child’s particular device in a call or a Zoom beforehand. Ask if you can run through the steps in person using the practice injector that comes with the auto-injector packs. No matter the brand, the shot always goes in the child’s outer thigh. Before hosting, do a gut check. If the idea of managing an emergency and using an auto-injector terrifies you, it’s not only okay but important to speak up, Dr. Pistiner says. This is ideal for all, he points out: “If somebody gets dizzy every time they think about a needle, that’s not who you’re going to want to be responsible for your child.” A good Plan B: Pivot to a joint family outing instead.
K I D SÑR e a d i n g
THE BOOK NOOK Your monthly guide to making the most of storytime and raising forever readers
3. Glow Written by Ruth Forman, illustrated by Geneva Bowers
5 New Titles to Pick Up Now 1
4. Strollercoaster
1. The Worm Family Has Its Picture Taken 2
Written by Jennifer Frank, illustrated by David Ezra Stein This cute story about a young worm second-guessing her attire for a family portrait will wriggle its way into the stack of bedtime regulars. The worm fam show up for their photo session decked out in wigs and fake teeth—moves they copy from their animal pals of other species. The snappy text and fun details in Stein’s illustrations (especially the worms’ surprise final pose) help the bigger message—stay true to yourself, kids!—click for readers. Ages 4 to 8
Mo Willems’s Elephant & Piggie Like Reading! series hits another home run with an amusing story that stealthily teaches kids about directional words. As Goat and Frog try to outdo each other with climbing and balancing antics, beginning readers can grasp vocabulary through the characters’ questions (“Am I near it? But are you through it?”) and boasts (“I’m so high up!”). The cherry on top: a nod to the fact that it’s okay to tell a pal you want to stop playing a game when you’re not having fun anymore. Ages 5 to 8
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vibes
Gift it to
2021
Written by Matt Ringler, illustrated by Raúl the Third and Elaine Bay When the meltdown to end all meltdowns is about to happen (“Blocks block every path. Trains have become untrained.”), a dad takes his toddler on a surreal stroller ride through a Latinx neighborhood. The husband-and-wife illustrators show the father coasting up and down hills to pleas of “faster, faster.” The story reminds quarantine-weary families that there’s a safe, secret world of fun outside—we just have to use our imaginations to unlock it. Ages 4 to 8
5. Uma Wimple Charts Her House
kid’s class.
By Andrea Tsurumi
PA R E N T S
Bedtime
your
2. I’m On It!
Renowned poet Forman celebrates Black boy joy in this board book that takes place at the end of a perfect summer day of baseball and ice cream. As moonlight pierces the window at bathtime (a scene that comes to life in Bowers’s fiery art), the boy realizes he also shines. A welcome addition to the toddler-lit shelf, which could use more reads reinforcing identity and self-love. Ages 0 to 3
Written by Reif Larsen, illustrated by Ben Gibson
4 5
In this entertaining story about the dangers of perfectionism, Uma, who has made charts for fun since she was 4 years old, sets the bar high for herself in a homework assignment to diagram her house. She buckles under the pressure until her younger brother helps her realize that she needs to let her heart—not her head—guide her work. The story’s strong opening lines and a smattering of Uma’s epic charts grab kids’ attention from page 1 and never let go. Ages 4 to 8
G R E AT FI C TI O NAL KI D - LIT M O M S Three authors on their fan faves “I’m all in on Mrs. Quimby, a woman after my own mother’s heart. Like my mom, Mrs. Quimby went straight to work when her husband lost his job. Also like my mom, Mrs. Quimby offered to help Ramona pack when she threatened to run away. Given Ramona’s independence, Mrs. Quimby’s maternal instincts are spot-on.” —author Kelly Corrigan, host of the podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders
BOOK CRUSH
Channing Tatum Gets His Tutu On
While writing his new picture book, the Magic Mike star and single father says he embraced his daughter’s shimmery world and never looked back.
BOOKS, THIS PAGE AND OPPOSITE: COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHERS. CHANNING TATUM: COURTESY OF CHANNING TATUM. JASON REYNOLDS: JAMES J. REDDINGTON.
Do you have a message for fathers?
Channing Tatum’s costume changes look quite a bit different these days as he coparents his 7-year-old daughter, Everly, with Jenna Dewan. “I paint my face, I wear tutus—rarely am I around the house without some sort of costume on,” says the actor and director, who codirected the film Dog, out this month. His bondathon with Everly is the inspiration for his first picture book, The One and Only Sparkella, out on May 4. Blingy outfits on dad and daughter will entice kids to read the book, but the larger lesson about finding the confidence to be oneself glitters too. Is Everly Sparkella?
She is on many levels. Just like Sparkella, Evie loves to play tricks, wear crazy outfits, and be different from everyone. She’s bold, beautiful, and magical in every way. We played a lot in her room over quarantine, and it helped flesh out the story. Even when I was home alone, I would find an item of hers that gave me an idea. Once, I sat on the sofa, and her fairy wand stuck me in the butt.
I want dads not to be afraid to go into their daughter’s world and discover who they are. When I became a single father, I had a lot of fear about connecting to Everly in every way that a little girl might want. I didn’t wear nail polish or know how to braid hair. But now I do both. I jumped with both feet into this magical world, and I was rewarded with a kind of love that I don’t think I would have ever been able to have otherwise.
“The mom in Snuggle Puppy!, by Sandra Boynton, never fails to bring back my sweetest memories of motherhood. To this day, all three of my kids can sing the entire book by heart.” —Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen, author of Chicks Rock! “In Black culture, there’s a concept called ‘othermothers’—women who are not our biological mothers but who nurture us. One of my favorite othermothers is Aunt Martha in the classic picture book Just Us Women. She picks up the narrator in her big car, packed full of fried chicken and chocolate cake, and they go on an adventure. —Eve L. Ewing, author of the forthcoming Maya and the Robot
Do you read to Everly before bed?
We usually get to five books per night. I’ll read one, and then she’ll read one, and so forth. One of our long-standing favorites is the wordless picture book The Farmer and the Clown, by Marla Frazee. A baby clown falls off a circus train into a field and becomes unlikely friends with a farmer. You can make up whatever story you like; we sometimes get really wild with it! We’ve recently discovered Red: A Crayon’s Story, by Michael Hall. The red crayon is blue. No one knows what’s wrong with him and why he can’t just be red the whole time until someone just accepts him and loves him for all of his blueness. Tatum’s bedtime go-tos
R AISING THE FUTURE BOOK CLUB
TALKING ABOUT RACE WITH YOUR KIDS Discussing racism in age-appropriate ways is top of mind for many parents. Authors Jason Reynolds (pictured) and Ibram X. Kendi wrote the best-seller Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You as a YA book. It’s now been adapted for younger kids by Sonja Cherry-Paul, Ed.D. Watch Reynolds read from Stamped (for Kids) and take questions on @Parents Instagram Live on May 22 at 3 p.m. (EST). Head to parents.com/ BookClub for details. Ages 7 to 10
K I D S Ñ M a k e It
A Dino-Mite Crafternoon
Dinosaurs once roamed the earth — and with some empty boxes and a little creativity, they may soon take over your living room. You’re welcome. craft and photographs by E R I N J A N G
F U N FAC T F O R YO U R
Get started by googling the dinosaur’s name and “coloring sheet” to find simplified outlines kids can use as a guide as they draw. Then turn the page for full instructions.
JURASSIC-OBSESSED PRESCHOOLER: T H E F LY I N G P T E R A N O D O N
H A D A W I N G S PA N OF 23 FEET OR MORE.
Don’t recycle those Amazon boxes just yet! Cut the cardboard into small, flat panels, and set them aside for projects like this.
NO WORRIES, THE C R A F T- O S AU R U S SPECIES IS ALL ROAR AND NO BITE.
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K I D S Ñ M a k e It
To get a two-legged dino like a T. rex to stand upright, cut the bottom slit at a 45-degree angle to the base.
Build Your Own Cardboardosaur 1
Have your kid use a pencil to draw a dinosaur (kid’s choice!)—just the head and body, no limbs. Aim for the width to be at least 5 in. so it will stand up better.
For stout dinos like an ankylosaurus, short and wide legs are key.
2
On a separate piece of cardboard, have them sketch U-shaped arms and legs in proportion to the body. 3
Cut out the shapes using an X-Acto knife (an adult should handle this step), layering extra cardboard underneath to protect your table. 4
Cut two ½- to 1-in.-deep slits on the dino torso where the legs and arms will be, evenly spaced, using scissors (another step an adult should handle). W H AT ’ S T H E SCARIEST D I N O? A TE R RO RDACT YL!
5
Have your kid color both sides of the body and limbs with an opaque paint like gouache or tempera. 6
Kids can detail features if they like or keep it abstract as shown here. Once dry, add eyes using markers, or glue on extra cardboard spikes or tusks. 7
Slide limbs into the torso slits. (Roar!)
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K I D S Ñ Fo o d
Dutch Baby With Berries For recipe, see page 54.
Roll with these fun and filling takes on eggs that have appeal for the whole family. Whether you
E L E VAT E YO U R E G G G A M E make a huge berry-topped pancake or wrap an omelet into a pinwheel, the kids will be egg-cited. by A N N A T H E O K T I S T O photographs by CAITLIN BENSEL
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Ham & Cheese Omelet Pinwheels Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 35 minutes Makes 4 servings
I N G R E DI E N T S Nonstick cooking spray 8 large eggs 1/3 cup (about 11/2 oz.) all-purpose flour 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1/4 tsp. black pepper 6 slices lower-sodium deli sliced ham (6 oz.) 6 slices Swiss or Havarti cheese (3 oz. total) Chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley MAKE IT
1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a 9x13-in. baking dish with parchment paper, allowing 2 to 3 in. to extend over sides. Lightly coat with cooking spray. 2. Whisk together eggs, flour, salt, and pepper in a large bowl until smooth. Pour into prepared baking dish. Place ham over egg mixture, slightly overlapping if necessary. Top with cheese slices in an even layer. 3. Bake until center of egg mixture is just set and cheese is melted, about 15 minutes. Remove from oven, and cool 10 minutes. 4. Using parchment as handles, lift omelet from baking dish, and place on a serving platter or a cutting board. Starting at one short end, tightly roll up omelet, peeling off parchment as you roll; turn seam side down. Slice and serve. Garnish with parsley. NUTRITION PER SERVING
310 calories; 27g protein; 17g fat (7g sat. fat); 11g carbs; 0 fiber; 2g sugar; 3mg iron; 247mg calcium; 601mg sodium
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Amp up a kids’ cheesy favorite with eggs and beans.
Breakfast Quesadillas Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 20 minutes Makes 6 quesadillas
I N G R E DI E N T S 1 Tbs. unsalted butter 1/2 medium orange bell pepper, finely chopped (about 1/2 cup) 6 large eggs 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1 15-oz. can no-salt-added black beans, drained and rinsed 6 8-in. flour tortillas 11/2 cups shredded Colby Jack cheese (6 oz.) 1 Tbs. canola oil, divided Sour cream and salsa, for serving
1. Melt butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high. Add bell pepper and cook, stirring often, until just softened and lightly browned, about 3 minutes. Whisk together eggs and salt in a large bowl until smooth. Add eggs to skillet, and cook, stirring constantly, until just set, about 1 minute. Remove from heat. Stir in beans. 2. Place tortillas in a single layer on work surface. Spoon about 1/2 cup egg mixture onto half of a tortilla; top with 1/4 cup cheese. Fold empty side of tortilla over filling. Repeat with remaining tortillas, egg mixture, and cheese. Wipe skillet clean. 3. Heat 1 tsp. oil in skillet over medium-high. Working in 3 batches, cook quesadillas until tortillas are browned and cheese is melted, about 11/2 minutes per side. Repeat with remaining oil and quesadillas. Serve with sour cream and salsa. NUTRITION PER QUESADILLA
424 calories; 20g protein; 22g fat (9g sat. fat); 36g carbs; 5g fiber; 2g sugar; 2mg iron; 265mg calcium; 789mg sodium
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FOOD STYLING BY RISHON HANNERS. PROP STYLING BY CLAIRE SPOLLEN. PREVIOUS SPREAD: PAN, LE CREUSET.
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K I D S Ñ Fo o d
Cheesy Tot Casserole Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 1 hour 20 minutes Makes 8 servings
I N G R E DI E N T S Nonstick cooking spray 1 32-oz. pkg. frozen potato tots 10 large eggs 6 oz. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (about 11/2 cups) 1/2 cup whole milk 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 1/4 tsp. black pepper Chopped fresh chives Ketchup, for serving (optional) MAKE IT
1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly coat a 7x11-in. baking dish with cooking spray. Place tots in two even layers in prepared dish. Whisk together eggs, cheese, milk, salt, and pepper in a large bowl. Pour egg mixture over tots. 2. Bake until mixture is set and cheese is golden brown, about 1 hour. Let stand 10 minutes. Garnish with chives, and serve with ketchup, if using. NUTRITION PER SERVING
393 calories; 16g protein; 24g fat (9g sat. fat); 28g carbs; 3g fiber; 2g sugar; 2mg iron; 204mg calcium; 848mg sodium
Give your helpers the job of layering the tots in the pan.
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K I D S Ñ Fo o d
Teach Your Kid to Crack an Egg F R O M PA G E 4 8
Dutch Baby With Berries Active Time 5 minutes Total Time 20 minutes Makes 4 servings
I N G R E DI E N T S 3 large eggs 1/2 cup whole milk, at room temperature 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 2 Tbs. unsalted butter, softened 1 cup mixed fresh berries Confectioners’ sugar Maple syrup MAKE IT
1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Place a 10-in. cast-iron skillet in oven for 10 minutes. 2. Mix eggs, milk, flour, vanilla, and salt in a blender on high speed until smooth and frothy, about 45 seconds. 3. Carefully remove hot skillet from oven. Add butter to skillet; swirl to melt. Pour batter into hot skillet.
BLT Breakfast Club Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 30 minutes Makes 6 servings
NUTRITION PER SERVING
I N G R E DI E N T S 6 large eggs 3 slices (21/4 oz. total) center-cut bacon, halved crosswise 1 Tbs. mayonnaise 6 slices (1/8-in.-thick) plum tomato (from 1 medium tomato) 6 iceberg lettuce pieces Sesame seeds (optional) MAKE IT
1. Place eggs in a medium saucepan; cover with 2 inches water. Bring to a boil over high. Remove from heat; cover and let stand 10 minutes. Drain and place eggs in a medium bowl filled with ice water for 10 minutes. 2. Meanwhile, cook bacon pieces in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high, turning
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occasionally, until crisp, 5 to 8 minutes. Transfer bacon to a plate lined with paper towels; let cool completely, about 3 minutes.
4. Bake until puffy and golden brown, 12 to 14 minutes. Remove from oven, and top with berries. Sift confectioners’ sugar over berries, and drizzle with maple syrup. Slice and divide among four plates. Serve immediately.
2021
3. Remove eggs from water and peel. Slice a 1/4-in. piece from bottom of each egg to create a flat base; save pieces to toss in a salad. Cut eggs in half crosswise. Stand each bottom egg half on its base; set aside top halves. 4. Break each cooked bacon piece in half. Spread 1/2 tsp. mayonnaise on cut side of bottom half of each egg. Top each with 2 bacon pieces, 1 tomato slice, and 1 piece of lettuce. Place top half of eggs on lettuce pieces, using a wooden pick to secure. Sprinkle with sesame seeds, if using. NUTRITION PER SERVING
102 calories; 8g protein; 8g fat (2g sat. fat); 1g carbs; 0 fiber; 0 sugar; 1mg iron; 29mg calcium; 141mg sodium
204 calories; 8g protein; 11g fat (5g sat. fat); 19g carbs; 1g fiber; 5g sugar; 1mg iron; 62mg calcium; 138mg sodium
Founder of Tiny Chef Kitchen, Kendall Becherer, Ph.D., shares her pro tips. Prerequisite: clean hands. 1
Hand them a plate. Cracking an egg on a flat surface is so much easier for kiddos than using the rim of the bowl. The egg breaks into fewer pieces, and the contents come out more slowly. The rim of most plates will keep the egg from spilling onto the counter. 2
Tell them to tap—not smash. When the egg begins to crack, have them lift it up, holding opposite ends in each hand. Then they press both thumbs into the cracked area and pull the shell apart, letting the egg fall onto the plate. Your kid might even want to practice this step with a plastic Easter egg. 3
Catch the shells. If stray fragments end up on the plate, don’t sweat it. Use an eggshell half to scoop them out. This method works much better than reaching in with your fingers or a spoon. 4
Move the egg. Dump each egg into a bowl—or better yet, a zip-top plastic bag, and let your kid squish the egg so it’s “scrambled.” Head to the sink for another round of hand-washing.
©2020 Tyson Foods, Inc.
K I D S Ñ Pe t s
Animal House!
We’re all ears about Olivia, 9, and her snuggle bunny, Hopper, 3. photograph by P R I S C I L L A G R A G G
1
Hopper’s favorite treats are Cheerios. If he knows I have them in my hand, he runs in circles and does “binkies,” which are hops of happiness.
“ H O P P E R W AT C H E S MOVIES WITH ME WHILE I RUB HIS BIG, F L O P P Y E A R S .”
He’s got a bunny cage, but he’s free to roam all over the house like our three cats.
4
Hopper likes to rest his head on our cat Felix while they sleep together. Basically, Hopper thinks he’s a cat!
5
I got him the day I turned 6. He was 2 months old.
3
I love Snowball from The Secret Life of Pets, and Hopper looks just like him. He’s a Holland Lop, white with blue eyes.
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WARDROBE STYLING BY JILL ROTHSTEIN FOR THE WALL GROUP. HAIRSTYLING BY CLELIA BERGONZOLI FOR UTOPIA. GROOMING BY THORA FOR WALTER SCHUPFER. PROP STYLING BY JOJO LI FOR HELLO ARTISTS. CHILD WRANGLING BY KAYSH SHINN. ON OLIVIA: SHIRT, TINY COTTONS. JEAN JACKET, WOLF & RITA. JEANS, THE NEW SOCIETY. CURTAIN, QUIET TOWN.
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YOU.
T E N D T O Y OU R S E L F, B O D Y A N D S OU L GOOD HABITS CAN K E E P YO U S A F E LY COVERED FROM HE AD TO TOE (AND UNDER THOSE S PAG H ET TI STR APS).
There are now sunscreen picks for every skin tone, type, and preference.
ANNA WOLF.
Make SPF Your Jam! It happens all the time: You pack the bags, fill the sippy cups, smear the kids with sunscreen, and then think, “Meh. I’ll do myself later.” Let’s make this the year that finally changes. Start by finding your dream SPF, commit to some easy application and skin-check habits, then enjoy the sun safely—at long last. by G I N A WAY PA R E N T S
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YO U Ñ S u n S a fe t y
A
B
STE P O N E
Put Your Sunscreen Routine on Automatic Tinted SPF
First, try a Tinder approach. “You can’t swipe right on just any sunscreen,” says Mona Gohara, M.D., a dermatologist in Hamden, Connecticut. “Be realistic about what you’ll actually wear and what could be a long-lasting relationship.” To wit: If you traditionally hate blending on a mineral sunscreen, pick a chemical-based one instead. (A) Elta MD Skincare UV Clear BroadSpectrum SPF 46 ($36; dermstore.com)
has a mix of chemical and physical ingredients and really does go on clear. If you wear makeup, consider a tinted
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moisturizer with SPF, such as (B) First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Tinted Moisturizer SPF 30 ($28; sephora.com).
is an a.m. routine in one step.
If you love a little face powder, think about a powder SPF. Find what works so you’ll stick with it.
Keep it at the ready. “I have sunscreen lotions and sticks in every bag, as well as in the bathroom, the kitchen, the backyard, and by the front and back doors,” says Rosemarie Ingleton, M.D., a dermatologist in New York City. “When SPF is right in front of me, I’m less likely to forget to put it on.” If it’s easiest to have one formula for the whole family, go for it. Try (C) Aveeno Kids Continuous Protection Sunscreen Lotion With Broad Spectrum SPF 50 ($13; drugstores).
C
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Apply sunscreen naked. On days that entail a hike, the pool, or other outdoor adventures, put your sunscreen on before getting dressed. Doing so guarantees you’re covered before the morning rush. “Clothing and bathing suits tend to shift around, and you don’t want to get burned on those unexpectedly uncovered areas,” says Amy Wechsler, M.D., a dermatologist and psychiatrist in New York City. You can skip body lotion and instead try:
LOOK FOR THE ZINC
D
Zinc oxide has had a bad rep for resembling white paste on skin, but new formulas are easier to blend. Here, three reasons to use the mineral.
(D) Coppertone Glow Spray SPF 30 Zinc oxide–
($9; drugstores), which contains a hint of shimmer, or quick-to-absorb
based and
(E) La Roche-Posay Anthelios 30 Cooling Water-Lotion SPF 30 ($36; drugstores).
fragrance-free
“Put it everywhere, including ears, feet, hairline, and the back of your neck,” Dr. Wechsler says.
Layer different formulas throughout the day. “I never leave the house without sunscreen on, and that’s not just about skin cancer; it’s about keeping my skin looking youthful,” says Dr. Gohara. She uses (G) Melē Dew the Most Sheer Moisturizer SPF 30 ($19; drugstores), which she says blends easily into her medium-brown skin. “I apply it to my face and neck in the morning, and then I touch up during the day with an SPF powder.” We like the translucent (H) Tarte Sea Set & Protect Mineral Sunscreen Powder Broad Spectrum SPF 30 ($28;
sephora.com). For full-on outdoor days, Dr. Gohara reapplies with an SPF stick and spray because they’re thorough and so easy to use on the go.
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IT’S GREAT FOR SENSITIVE SKIN Zinc oxide has skin-
soothing properties and won’t cause an allergic reaction. Because mineral formulas can feel thick, it may come as a surprise that zinc oxide won’t cause breakouts. “In fact, zinc oxide–based sunscreen is what I recommend to my patients with acne,” says Dr. Wechsler, who suggests checking the label for the percent of zinc oxide. “The higher the better, and the minimum is 10 percent,” she says. Try Olay Regenerist Hydrating Mineral Sunscreen Moisturizer SPF 30 ($29; olay.com), which has 17.5 percent.
E
UPF can be cool.
2
IT WORKS RIGHT AWAY
Because zinc oxide is a mineral that sits on skin like armor to filter UV rays, it protects the second you put it on (chemical sunscreens need at least 20 minutes to absorb). F
G H
3
IT MIGHT BE SAFER FOR THE SEAS Some researchers
believe that oxybenzone and octinoxate may damage coral reefs and marine life, and some places have banned the sale of sunscreens with those ingredients. Physical SPFs, like Australian Gold Botanical Mineral Lotion SPF 30 ($16; target .com), are “reef friendly.”
PRODUCTS: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. RASH GUARD: COURTESY OF THE BRAND.
Dress in sunblock. Look for UV-protective clothing, swimsuits, and exercise gear with builtin UPF (ultraviolet protection factor) of 50+ because it blocks 98 percent of UVA and UVB rays. Check out (F) Mott50 Coco Crew Neck Rash Guard ($68; mott50.com). “When I’m wearing a UPF cover-up or shirt, I don’t need to wear sunscreen underneath it. How easy is that?” Dr. Wechsler says. The caveat: UPF usually lasts one summer because the UPF in the fibers wears off over time in the wash. You can add Rit Sun Guard Laundry Aid UV Protectant ($4; store.sunguarduv .com, not shown) to a load of laundry to turn any clothing item into UPF 30.
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STE P TH RE E
Remember Your Screen ’Screen This is Venus Williams’s brand.
STE P T WO
Bust Your SPF Excuses
I WFH and am never outside ... “You don’t need to be on the beach to get sun exposure or sun damage,” says Ellen Marmur, M.D., a dermatologist in New York City and mom of four. “UVA rays come through windows, so you need to protect your skin while in a car, a plane, or a home office.” Supergoop! Daily Dose Vitamin C + SPF 40 Serum ($46; supergoop.com) contains chemical sunscreen and an antioxidant to protect and brighten in one step. Blue light from digital devices could be problematic too (see “Remember Your Screen ’Screen,” right).
I’m just running one errand ... “We all make these little deals with ourselves,” Dr. Wechsler says. “We associate applying sunscreen with being outside all day on vacation, but even five minutes of unprotected sun exposure is harmful.” And besides, quick errands can turn into long ones. A sunscreen that doesn’t feel thick or greasy, like Banana Boat Light as Air Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50+ ($8; drugstores), is hassle-free.
Sunscreen absorbs into the bloodstream ... “Mineral sunscreens do not absorb into the skin, which is why I love them,”
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Dr. Wechsler says. Some chemical sunscreen ingredients do, but scientists haven’t found evidence that they’re harmful. Bottom line: If you’re worried, wear UPF clothing and mineral sunscreen.
But I need vitamin D ... “It’s true that making vitamin D is one of the skin’s big jobs, and the vitamin is important for the immune system and the absorption of calcium,” Dr. Marmur says. “But just five to 15 minutes of incidental light is enough to get your body to synthesize vitamin D through the skin. Realistically, unless you slather on SPF like cake frosting from your scalp to your fingertips, you’ll probably still make enough. You can also get it from fortified food and supplements.”
Urban Antioxidant Sunscreen SPF 40 ($50; drloretta.com) and Colorescience Face Shield Glow SPF 50 ($39;
colorscience.com) check all the boxes.
My dark skin protects me ... “People of color have a built-in SPF of about 13.4 compared with fair skin’s 3.4,” Dr. Gohara says. “But all skin tones can get skin cancer, and those with more melanin can be more prone to hyperpigmentation. Sunscreen is the best way to prevent both. A recent study showed that BIPOC women who wore sunscreen every day had improved skin texture and tone.” Adds Dr. Ingleton, who has dark skin herself, “My patients with darker complexions ask how mine looks so youthful. I tell them that I’ve been wearing sunscreen daily for the past 30 years.” We like EleVen by Venus Unrivaled Sun Serum SPF 35 ($50; credobeauty .com), which blends into all skin tones.
JEFFREY WESTBROOK.
Adults may be even better than kids at coming up with reasons not to apply. We all know (and have probably used) greatest hits such as “It’s cloudy” or “I’m in the car.” Derms have heard them all, and they have comebacks for any justification you can dish out.
Just when you think you’ve got this UV thing figured out, here comes another wavelength to protect against. Highenergy visible (HEV) light, aka blue light, is a short-wavelength light emitted by the sun, lightbulbs, and digital devices like (gulp) our laptops and phones. Blue light has been shown to contribute to skin issues like hyperpigmentation and wrinkles, but unlike UVA/UVB light, it is not associated with skin cancers. FYI, not all sunscreens are blue-lightprotective, Dr. Gohara says. “Chemical ones absorb UVA and UVB but not HEV rays. Mineral sunscreens, however, do have the ability to protect from all wavelengths of light. And research is showing that the ingredient iron oxide boosts their effectiveness.” Dr. Loretta
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YO U Ñ S u n S a fe t y
STE P FO U R
Get Serious About Skin Checks
sun safely.
LISTEN TO A FELLOW MOM Take in lessons one woman learned through her own experience with skin cancer. Heather Snyder, 42, is the mother of two teenagers, a marathon runner, and a sun-protection fanatic because she was diagnosed with Stage 4 melanoma when she was 30. “I’d never been to a dermatologist before I was diagnosed with skin cancer when my youngest was 6 months old. I’d had a weird purplish spot on the back of my calf while I was pregnant, and I hadn’t thought much about it. It had been there for a while and was the size of a pencil eraser when my husband noticed it. It wasn’t until a few months later, when my mom urged me to get the spot checked, that I made an appointment. The dermatologist took one look at it and said, ‘That’s melanoma.’ By that time, it had spread to my lymph nodes, and I was scheduled for surgery
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own bod a regular once-over could be even more important. “Most skin cancers are found by the patient, and about half of melanomas are self-detected,” Dr. Marmur says. “Skin cancers that are caught early are 92 to 100 percent curable, so time is of the essence.” Don’t think of a self-exam as a big thing. “It’s really about getting to know the landscape and texture of your skin and noticing if there’s a change,” Dr. Gohara says. “When taking a shower or putting on lotion, be aware of anything that wasn’t there before or feels different.” This includes a spot or sore that won’t heal or a mole that’s changed color, size, or shape.
followed by months of chemotherapy. I don’t have fair skin, and I tan easily. I understand now that a tan is a form of skin damage, but in high school I loved having a tan. I never applied sunscreen because I didn’t burn, and I used tanning beds to get ready for events like the prom. Skin cancer wasn’t talked about back then, and even when the dermatologist told me that I had melanoma, it didn’t sink in that I had cancer. I got through it, and now the nonnegotiable rule for myself and my family is: If you go outside, you must put on sun protection. I have a UPF tent that I sit under for the kids’ softball games, and when I go running, I wear a hat and a UPF top and tights. Plus, I have a sunscreen stick and SPF lip balm with me. Always.”
A
B
(A) Athleta Salutation Slash Pocket Tight UPF 50+ ($98; athleta.com) (B) Neutrogena Sheer Zinc Kids Mineral Sunscreen Stick SPF 50+ ($13; drugstores) (C) eos The Guardian 100% Natural Sunscreen Lip Balm SPF 30 ($3; drugstores)
These are the balm.
C
WOMAN: SAMANTHA ANNIS/GALLERY STOCK. PRODUCTS: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. LEGGINGS: COURTESY OF THE BRAND.
Love the
“I believe you should live your life and not be afraid of the sun,” says Dr. Marmur, a skin-cancer survivor. “I’ve had multiple surgeries for basal cell carcinoma, but I still run on the beach, climb mountains, and go outside with my family every chance I get—I just take a few seconds to put sunscreen on first.” Melanoma is the most common cancer in people between the ages of 25 and 29 and also the most serious. But here’s the good news: According to the Skin Cancer Foundation, daily use of sunscreen with an SPF 15 or higher reduces the risk of developing melanoma by 50 percent. While a yearly exam from your dermatologist is highly recommended, giving your
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YO U Ñ C o v e r S t o r y
DANIELLE BROOKS LESSONS IN GRACE
For the actor, being a new mom has been exciting and gratifying. It has also brought challenges on the proverbial work-life balance front. In the great tradition of mothers everywhere, Brooks is figuring things out as she goes—and love for herself, her career, and her family are guiding the way. by J E S S I C A H E R N D O N / photographs by A M A N DA P R AT T
A F T E R YO U B E C O M E
a parent, you expect there will be countless times when you comfort your child. But there’s a deep and surprising sense of bliss when you realize they will comfort you back. Danielle Brooks recalls giving an impassioned speech at the wrap of the Lifetime movie Robin Roberts Presents: Mahalia (out April 3), in which she stars as the gospel legend Mahalia Jackson. Her 1-year-old, Freeya, “ran into my arms and put her head on my shoulder,”
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Brooks says. “It warmed my heart and just brought on even more tears.” For the Tony-nominated, Grammy and SAG Award–winning actor, who played Tasha “Taystee” Jefferson on Orange Is the New Black and Sofia in Broadway’s The Color Purple, working as a new mom has been, as they say, all the things: rewarding, challenging, emotional. “You adjust to not being with your child 24/7 and trust someone to take care of them,” she says. “It’s tricky,
but I’m grateful to do what I love.” Brooks and Freeya have been staying in Vancouver, filming HBO Max’s DC Comics series Peacemaker, coming in 2022. Time on location has offered a respite from life in New York City, where the 31-year-old normally lives with her fiancé and Freeya’s dad, Dennis Gelin. (You can spy Gelin in A Little Bit Pregnant on YouTube’s Netflix channel, which documented Brooks’s pregnancy via hilarious shorts.) “Where God put me
YO U Ñ C o v e r S t o r y
How has becoming a parent helped you to grow? I’m gaining patience, and I did not have a drop of it before. I’m caring less about BS. When I was pregnant, I played Beatrice in Shakespeare in the Park’s Much Ado About Nothing in New York City. Normally, I would’ve been freaked out that I got all these lines, and 1,200 people a night were watching. But when I had a child inside of me, I was more fearless. Just walking around with a little more bravery, that was cool for me. That was a big piece of power I discovered. What aspects have been harder than you anticipated? The balance and how to say no to things. When you have a child, you really have to decide what’s important. There are times when I feel guilty for not being with Freeya, but having downtime in my dressing room has given me moments to rediscover myself. I put goals and quotes on the wall that say things like, “I am pure magic” or “I am safe to be my true, authentic self.” Did giving birth make you feel like a new, different person? I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, and I think I did go through postpartum depression. I was trying to stay positive when it felt like my whole world had flipped upside down. Creating a human takes a toll on women’s bodies. Sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough love or patience about that. You may think you’re going to bounce back miraculously, but that’s not true for a lot of people. I’m one of them. While I want to return to my pre-baby size, at the same time, I want to love this skin that I’m in now.
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What helps you feel best? I’m working on eating well, not just to keep losing weight but to stay healthy. If I want to continue to live a life full of abundance, I have to plant those seeds now. I bought roller skates and a personal trampoline. Freeya will jump up and down, imitating me. I find peace by taking walks with Freeya too. I try to incorporate her into things that bring me joy and calmness. And I really like the advice to “talk to yourself as if you are your best friend.” Mahalia was your first job as a mom. How was the transition? We all worry if we’ll ever work again. “Will people see me as a burden because I have a child and I need somebody to care for her? Will people accommodate me?” The fact is, I can do my job. Now I’m in the DC world. Before, I thought, “If I ever got that kind of role, I want to be in the best shape of my life.” I’m not. But they hired me where I am, so I have to have a little grace. What we’re able to do as women is phenomenal. It’s queen status. You bought a home in 2019. Does it feel different now with a kid? Yes, Lord! It’s crazy because you think you have all this space. Then you have a child, and they take a room, a bathroom, half the kitchen, and half the living room with
Parents’ Lightning Round With Danielle Brooks
L I T T L E T H I N G I C A N ’ T WA I T T O D O P O S T- PA N D E M I C
New Year’s party at my crib LESSON I LEARNED P L AY I N G M A H A L I A
I am capable. ONE MAHALIA JACKSON SONG TO LISTEN TO
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strollers and car seats and toys. Before you know it, you feel like you don’t have any space. There are things that I want for her, things I had as a child, like a big backyard. I’m teeter-tottering with the idea of getting another home. Is there a difference between how you actually parent and how you thought you’d parent? I’m way more lenient than I thought I’d be. This past winter, my mom had Christmas cards on her table, and I was like, “Take them off so Freeya doesn’t get to them.” Grandma’s like, “No, leave them and teach her not to touch them.” I’m like, “Adjust for the child,” and old-school is, “No, the child needs to adjust to you.” But her name’s Freeya. Part of me is like, “Just let that baby be free.” Have you had any thoughts about expanding your family? I’m in and out. This week, I’m like, “Maybe.” Normally, I am very much like, “Girl, do not ask me that question.” Having a baby really did take a toll on my body and on me mentally. Right now, I’m getting to the part where I’m okay with shedding that old skin and discovering somebody new. Once I feel a bit more whole and not like a machine that is being put back together, then I might consider it. Did the racial injustice and unrest of this past year make you feel any different about raising a young Black woman? Yes. It was hard to have a child in the first place, because I knew that my child was going to be brought up in this very hateful, racist, sexist world. I feel like I’ve gone through different phases since she’s been here. At first, when everything happened—the obvious pandemic, but then there’s a racial pandemic as well—I felt defeated. I felt like, “How is this child going to survive in this world?” which is the fear of a lot of parents of color. Now I feel hopeful because I know how I’m going to raise my child. There’s one better human being in this world. It’s work on the parents’ part to show our kids love. I pray I raise my daughter to be streetsmart and be able to tackle the world and not be defeated by it. Motherhood has been good. It feels good on me.
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right now gives me time to quiet my head and my spirit,” she says. But she misses Gelin, at home in New York for work, “who FaceTimes every day and is present and says things like, ‘You’re a super mom.’ ” “I’m learning how to balance being a mommy and working in another country without him,” Brooks says. “Trying to handle everything on my plate has been like trying to juggle eight balls—and I’m not a juggler.”
“What we’re able to do as women is phenomenal,” Brooks says. “It’s queen status.”
YO U Ñ M e nt a l H e a lt h
PARENTING WHILE DEPRESSED Millions of moms and dads are struggling to manage their mood, which can make the work of parenting feel impossible and have lasting effects on kids. But there’s consensus from both mental-health experts and parents who have raised their children amid feelings of hopelessness and despair: Help is out there, and the sooner you access it, the better life will be for you and your family. by L E S L I E G O L D M A N / illustrations by R E Y N A N O R I E G A
WHEN MADDIE
was single and in her early 20s, she began experiencing intense fatigue and lack of motivation, “a quiet undercurrent of sadness that was never so debilitating that I couldn’t get out of bed but that would flare up for months at a time.” (Along with the other parents quoted in this article, her name has been changed due to the sensitivity of the subject.) Negative thoughts with themes of insecurity and fear of
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abandonment played on a loop in her mind. Upon seeing an Instagram pic of friends enjoying a night out, for instance, she’d hear a voice in her head, taunting, “Of course they didn’t invite you; you’re boring and annoying.” When the Seattle-based teacher was 29 and her elder daughter was 2 years old, the thoughts returned. Except now, they accused her of being a horrible mother. “I’d be bathing my daughter and worrying
about when she’d stop loving me, or lying in bed next to my husband, thinking, ‘When will he figure out what a fraud I am and leave?’ The kids were at a hard age, motherhood still felt new, and I was overwhelmed with working and parenting, feeling like I was doing everything poorly,” Maddie says. “I’d get them to bed and sit on the stairs and cry, thinking, ‘They deserve better than me,’ but I had nothing left to give.”
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Although Maddie felt alone, her experience was far from uncommon. About 20 percent of U.S. adults will be diagnosed with clinical depression at some point, and “women are at highest risk during the parenting years,” says Megan Smith, Dr.P.H., M.P.H., associate professor of psychiatry and child study at the Yale School of Medicine and an expert in maternal mental-health research. Anxiety disorders with symptoms including persistent worrying and rumination (from “Why isn’t my toddler talking more?” to “Will my kids die in a car crash today?”), nervousness, and sleep issues are also rampant among parents. A 2009 study found that more than 15 million children lived with a parent who was severely depressed, a figure that’s likely higher today—especially given the life-upending events of the past year. During the pandemic, 49 percent of women with children under age 18 and 40 percent of dads with children of the same age have reported that their mental health has suffered due to coronavirus-related stress, according to research from the Kaiser Family Foundation. In addition, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says rates of depression in adults are up fourfold since 2019. Long-simmering issues of racism, social unrest, and political turmoil also reached a boiling point in 2020, fueling a spike in mental-health conditions among people of color. “We were already dealing with virtual learning, the stress of making sure my kids always have their masks on, they need to eat 90 times a day, and then I had to talk with my 12-year-old about why people were protesting,” says Catina Smith, 35, a Black Air Force veteran, private chef, and mom of three in Baltimore. But even in these challenging times, and even if feelings of fear, sadness, and worthlessness seem insurmountable, there is still hope. We live in a golden age of mental-health treatment, and there are numerous forms of therapy, dozens of medication options, and much less of a stigma associated with mental-health problems. Once, these disorders were considered shameful secrets; now public conversations about parental mental
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health occur regularly. Actor Kristen Bell, Untamed author Glennon Doyle, and Olympian Michael Phelps have all spoken publicly about the challenges of parenting with anxiety and depression. Perhaps most notably, Meghan Markle revealed in March that she had suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts during her first pregnancy. In other words, there has never been a more accepting atmosphere for those who find it difficult to manage their mood. If you’re among them, health experts want you to know this: Help is available, and it can make a difference in your life and that of your family.
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depressive disorder, or dysthymia.) These disorders go beyond feeling overwhelmed or having “the blues,” causing what experts term functional impairment, meaning a person is unable to parent, work, or go about the day as they once did. This impairment can arise when certain risk factors—genetic predisposition, personality, brain chemistry, a history of mental-health issues, or adverse life events—converge, explains Dr. Smith. In the case of postpartum depression, which afflicts roughly one in four new moms in the three years after they give birth, it can erupt from “hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the burden of caring for a baby’s every need,” Dr. Oreck says. It’s imperative that parents who suffer from depression and anxiety seek help for managing their symptoms. Emma, 39, a mom of one in New Jersey, has been in treatment for several years. First diagnosed with depression in college, she suffered from suicidal thoughts in her early 30s. Now she combines weekly therapy with mood-stabilizing medications and says she can’t imagine parenting without them. “Depression can make minor setbacks feel like all is lost,” says Emma, “and that’s a real problem, since parenthood is full of minor setbacks.”
Under Pressure What Depression Is and Isn’t Of course, it’s hard to seek treatment if you’re not sure what it is that you’re experiencing. Both depression and anxiety—which may occur in tandem—can show up as irritability, forgetfulness, and anger. And although rage has long been ascribed to men, it can signal that a mom feels unheard and overburdened, her needs are not being fulfilled, and an underlying mood disorder may be brewing, says Sarah Oreck, M.D., a reproductive psychiatrist and mom in Los Angeles. The National Institute of Mental Health uses the terms clinical depression and major depressive disorder interchangeably to refer to a severely low mood that persists for an extended period. (If the depression is chronic, it’s referred to as persistent
In terms of stressful jobs, parenting has being a neurosurgeon or an airline pilot beat. “You’re a full-time caregiver, not only providing material comforts like food and clothing but also being responsible for nurturing and creating strong emotional bonds with your child,” says Dr. Smith, mom of two kids, ages 9 and 12. While research has found that parents typically report feeling a greater sense of purpose, raising kids can certainly involve more stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions than nonparents experience. Yet family holiday cards never show pictures of a mother sobbing in the bathroom while her kids build a cushion fort. The “triple threat of guilt, perfectionism, and martyr mode” causes millions of depressed parents to feel weak and isolated when, in fact, they are in good company, says Pooja Lakshmin, M.D., clinical assistant professor of
psychiatry at The George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences and founder of GEMMA, a women’s mental-health digital education platform. Although research has found that women are about twice as likely to develop depression as men, fathers are far from immune. Andy, a stay-at-home dad of 6-year-old twins in Boston, has felt loneliness and isolation, which he says have been compounded by being a gay parent in a mostly straight area. Early on, the former college counselor thought, “Is this going to be my life for the next 18 years?” When his twins were around 2, Andy found himself yelling more than he would’ve liked, which made him “feel guilt, shame, and anger toward myself.” He suspected that he was suffering from depression. Feelings of being perpetually overwhelmed, physically and mentally exhausted, mired in cynicism, or plagued with the belief that you’re an incompetent parent are signs of parental burnout, says Dr. Oreck. Emotional detachment from one’s child is another. Untreated, burnout can progress to depression or anxiety. Other parents at risk of depression and anxiety include single or younger mothers; those from socially disadvantaged backgrounds; and those parenting kids with special needs, who “are often seen as superheroes, but who need help juggling fear, sadness, and isolation with managing multiple medical issues and arranging for academic accommodations,” says Eliana Tardio, a mother of two children with Down syndrome and a Latinx inclusion activist in Fort Myers, Florida.
The Effects on Children For parents with depression, there are the obvious detrimental symptoms—emotional pain, lack of motivation, loss of joy in once-joyful activities—and even physical troubles such as gastrointestinal distress and reduced immunity. But research has found that children of depressed parents are about three times as likely to suffer from major depression, anxiety disorders, or substance abuse as children whose parents hadn’t been depressed. All kids have developmental needs that include
6 WAYS TO COPE IN THE MOMENT Strategies from mental-health experts for handling negative thoughts, even when kids are around
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When depressive symptoms spiral or if you’re stuck in an anxious thought, take off your shoes and walk barefoot outside. Or splash cold water on your face. Or squeeze your daughter’s stuffed narwhal. These sensory activities “take you out of your thoughts and bring you back into your body,” Dr. Pooja Lakshmin says.
Find a peaceful spot, or create one. Anxiety is stimulating; add the cacophony of noise that comes with children and it can feel overwhelming. Vanna Winters, 36, of Naples, Florida, wears AirPods when the volume generated by her three kids threatens to flare up her anxiety or depression symptoms. “My kids understand the benefit to them; a chill mom is better to hang out with than a freaking-out mom.” Other ideas: a meditation app or five minutes of reading, even if you need to hide in the laundry room to do it.
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Ask yourself: Would I let someone treat my kids the way I’m treating myself? Imagine the mama-bear roar you’d let out if someone told your son he was stupid or called your daughter a loser. Try to show yourself the same consideration, says therapist Kristen Granchalek. “It helps build self-compassion, and then we start to act with that compassion in mind.” 3
Remind yourself that it’s okay to want a break from your child or look forward to their bedtime or miss your old life. It doesn’t mean you love them any less. Baby-step toward healing by normalizing thoughts like these. “The reduction of guilt you’ll feel can be lifealtering,” says Dr. Sarah Oreck. 4
Phone a friend. Chances are, you know someone who has felt what you’re feeling now. Ask them to share a strategy that worked for them, or just vent. (Texting works too.)
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Take ten deep breaths. You hear this one a lot for a reason—it really does help. Slow, deep breaths with exhalations that are twice as long as the inhalations calm the nervous system, bring your heart rate down, and ease muscle tension. Exhaling (not inhaling) through a straw can help. Dr. Lakshmin notes that if these techniques don’t work, it may be time to seek help.
If you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, go to the emergency room or try the following numbers: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (open 24/7): 800-273-TALK (8255). You can also chat online (suicidepreventionlifeline.org), where there are resources tailored for LGBTQ+ and Spanish-speaking communities. Samaritans 24/7 Helpline (open 24/7, call or text): 877-870-4673.
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feeling securely attached to a safe, caring adult and having a caregiver who is both physically and emotionally present and can model adequate coping mechanisms, says LaToya Gaines, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and former school psychologist in New York City. Untreated mental-health concerns can threaten a parent’s ability to fulfill these needs. “When we’re depressed, we have difficulty connecting,” says Kristen Granchalek, LCSW, a Chicago-based therapist specializing in women’s issues, anxiety, and emotional reactivity. “Our faces don’t respond in a way that mirrors our children’s emotions, which they need for healthy development and to feel cared for.” With anxiety, kids can absorb their parent’s chronic worrying and, says Granchalek, “internalize the belief that the world is not okay.” Emma, the mom in New Jersey, says it’s the fear of this very dynamic that frightens her most. For instance, whereas a nondepressed parent might be annoyed at their toddler’s disinterest in potty training, Emma considers it a failure on her part and silently ruminates over her son’s doomed future, including worries that he’ll get kicked out of preschool for being the only 3-year-old still in diapers. “My husband will assure me that our son will get it eventually; meanwhile, I’m pasting on a smile and suppressing a volcano of panic.”
Life-Changing Treatment The potential effects of a parent’s depression on their child make treatment imperative—and extensive research shows that clinical depression is highly responsive to treatment. But in the best-case scenario, only about half of depressed adults receive proper care, says Dr. Smith, and “rates for mothers may be even lower.” Part of the issue is what Granchalek says is a deep societal discomfort around mothers admitting they need help with anything: “We spend a lot of emotional labor convincing ourselves that ‘I’m lazy and I should be doing a better job,’ or we blame our partner or children, thinking that if they were more helpful or better behaved, we wouldn’t be struggling so much.” This kind of thinking weighs heavily on Black mothers, Dr. Gaines says, “who
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are taught to think about everyone else first, going back to when we were enslaved and had to take care of our family as well as other peoples’ families. Many Black women feel we have to be on it all day, every day, because if we don’t do it, who will?” And for all depressed parents, there are the twin barriers of little time and low energy. It can feel impossible to carve out an hour a week for therapy when there’s barely time to shower, and when parenting and depression are both known to cause exhaustion. The first step in recovery is believing that mental illness is a health concern like any other—there’s no shame in having anxiety or depression, just as there’s no shame in having lupus or the flu, Dr. Gaines says. Next, it’s helpful to
have an honest conversation to assess whether your daily battles are more than just a rough patch or stress. An objective, empathetic partner, friend, or relative can serve as a sounding board, as can a primary-care physician, who can help plan next steps, including making a referral to a mental-health expert. Therapy is a safe space for venting and helps address damaging beliefs, like “I’m worthless” or “My kids would be better off without me,” says Dr. Gaines. Talk therapy, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy or an offshoot called acceptance and commitment therapy, can challenge such thoughts and reframe them as “It’s a pandemic, and I’m doing the best I can.” Therapy has been transformative for Andy, who says that treating his
depression with the help of a therapist who had walked in his shoes (in his case, another gay father) has helped him “unpack what is normal parenting angst versus what might be something more serious.” At first, he says, therapy almost felt selfish, with so much laundry to be folded and dinner to be made. “I had to have a heart-to-heart with myself, saying, ‘This isn’t like getting a facial; this will help you and help the kids so you’re not taking your anxiety out on them.’ ” For many, medication is also helpful. And given how many kinds are now available, those seeking care can be assured that if one doesn’t help or causes unpleasant side effects, there are other doses and drugs to try. The most common class of medications, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs (Prozac and Lexapro are examples), also treat anxiety, and an internist or an ob-gyn as well as a psychiatrist can prescribe them. Some people worry that taking an antidepressant will change their personality, but it actually makes the patient feel more like themself. Medication won’t eliminate all negative thoughts, but it will likely make a person’s mood more stable, lifting their outlook out of despair and nudging it closer to neutral. “A psychiatrist prescribed Prozac for my depression, and a few weeks later I was walking the dog, and I saw the sun setting and thought, ‘That’s pretty,’ ” says Danielle, a 41-year-old mom of two in Illinois. Her desire to read and bake with her girls—activities she adored before her depression set in—also returned. Both were encouraging signs that her depression was finally lifting.
Protecting Your Child Dr. Smith says it’s important to realize that having depression or anxiety does not mean your children will too. Talking to them about feelings from a young age will make them more likely to ask for help if they need it. A big step in mitigating the genetic and environmental risk factors involves sharing struggles with your kids in an age-appropriate way so they learn that all emotions are normal, there are constructive ways to deal with yuckyfeeling ones, and it’s okay to ask for help.
MAKING THERAPY WORK FOR YOU One silver lining of the pandemic is that therapy is more widely available than ever. “We all thought it had to be in-person 50-minute sessions,” says Kristen Granchalek, “but then we had to move to telehealth overnight, and therapists like me evolved our idea of what ‘good therapy’ looks like.” Now you can sneak in a Zoom session while the kids are in math class, watching StoryBots, or doing FaceTime with Grandma. For the first time, restrictions on interstate sessions have been eased, and that time-zone difference can work in your favor. In addition, the ability to see someone located elsewhere is a boon for those in communities without many mentalhealth professionals. There are also digital therapy options like Talkspace or BetterHelp, which can pair you with a provider and offer secure video and chat sessions. In 2020, Maddie saw that the strategies she’d used to manage symptoms before becoming a mom—such as getting exercise and eating less sugar—were no longer working. She used a digital therapy app, exchanging daily audio and video messages with a therapist as well as occasional video chats. Good therapy, Granchalek says, “is about connecting with someone you trust.” Word-of-mouth referrals are priceless; if you’re comfortable doing so, ask a friend, colleague, or doctor. PsychologyToday.com’s Find a Therapist tool lets you search by city, zip code, or name. “You might feel drawn to a therapist’s biography or even their photo, which can lead to a good partnership,” Granchalek says. It’s customary to request a free 15-minute consultation, during which you outline concerns, ask about their approach, and see if you vibe well. Don’t be afraid to call multiple therapists until you find the right fit.
Dr. Gaines suggests saying, “Mommy feels sad today, and that’s okay. We all have sad days. But I know some things I can do to make myself feel better.” This chat works with frustration, anxiety, and anger, too, and makes the most sense to have with kids around age 4. If their children are closer to elementaryschool age, parents can introduce more advanced concepts like depression and medication: “Everyone has sad days, but sometimes I feel sad for a longer period of time. Just like when I have a cold, I need to take good care of myself, and that means sleep and maybe medicine.” Underscore that your kids are not the cause, because it can be easy for them to blame themselves for Mom or Dad not wanting to play. That internalization (“It’s my fault that Mommy is sad”) can increase their own risk of developing depression or anxiety, according to a new study in the Journal of Family Psychology. Parents can also mention that they often talk with a “feelings doctor,” which kids may recognize from their school social worker. Doing so normalizes getting help. If depression or anxiety makes it difficult for a parent to effectively connect with their child, it’s important that the child can consistently interact with another adult caregiver, such as a grandparent, a trusted teacher, or a family friend. “It’s a huge protective buffer,” Dr. Smith says, and strengthens a child’s resiliency muscles. Even if you don’t have depression or an anxiety disorder, there’s no doubt that times are extraordinarily tough for all of us right now, Dr. Gaines notes, and being a “good enough” mom or dad is, in fact, enough. Giving your child just 15 minutes of undivided attention makes a huge difference to them, says Dr. Smith. It doesn’t take much: Sink into an easy yoga pose while the kids have a snack; join them for one page of coloring; brush your teeth together. “My therapist is constantly reminding me that when I’m sure I’m ‘failing’ my child, he likely doesn’t even notice,” Emma says. “If I’m struggling and I tell my son I can play in a little while, it won’t scar him for life. All he’ll remember is the part where his mom had fun with him.”
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Pregnancy and the COVID-19 Vaccine
You have questions — and a baby on the way. Here’s what health experts know about some of the pressing pregnancy-in-a-pandemic concerns. by H O L LY P E V Z N E R
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in March 2020 when there were cheeky murmurs about a coming spike in births in nine months, since we were all stuck at home with our partners? As it turns out, there could be 300,000 fewer U.S. births in 2021. One potential reason: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has said that pregnant people are at increased risk for severe illness and death from COVID-19 compared with nonpregnant folks of reproductive age. One review of several studies indicated that pregnant people were 62 percent more likely to be admitted to the ICU and 88 percent more likely to require the use of a ventilator. “This is most likely a result of cardiovascular and respiratory changes that occur in pregnancy, which put pregnant people at higher risk of severe disease,” says Marta Perez, M.D., a Parents advisor and assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. All the more reason for pregnant people to strongly consider getting the COVID-19 vaccine. But given evolving information around the virus and vaccines, it’s natural that expectant folks have questions. Parents asked health experts to share the most up-to-date information on how the vaccine might affect those who are pregnant or who intend to be soon.
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Are pregnant people eligible to be vaccinated? Yes—and earlier than most. The CDC’s priorities look like this: health-care workers and residents in long-term-care facilities; essential workers and those older than 75. Next up: folks 65 to 74 and people 16 to 64 with a high-risk condition, including pregnancy. However, each state makes its own plan for how vaccines are distributed. Do we know whether it’s safe for pregnant people and their babies? “We have very little concern that the COVID-19 vaccines could harm a pregnant person or their developing fetus,” says Geeta Swamy, M.D., a member of The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists’ Immunization, Infectious Disease, and Public Health Preparedness Expert Work Group. Doctors indicate that this is true regardless of trimester. After injection, the vaccine doesn’t move much beyond the muscle cells and immune cells in lymph nodes, and it doesn’t alter DNA, so it cannot cause genetic changes. In addition, “the vaccine doesn’t contain live virus, so there’s no risk of infecting the mom or baby with COVID,” says Judette Louis, M.D., department chair of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of South Florida in Tampa.
Will getting the vaccine while I’m pregnant or nursing help protect my baby from COVID-19? “We don’t know for sure, but we think that it’s highly probable,” Dr. Swamy says. This hypothesis is based on the fact that when the
influenza and Tdap vaccines are given during pregnancy, babies are protected for a few months. Similarly, “some types of antibodies cross into breast milk,” says Dr. Perez, who got her own COVID-19 vaccine two weeks postpartum while nursing.
But is it recommended that I get vaccinated if I’m expecting? At press time, the CDC can’t officially recommend the vaccine because pregnant people weren’t included in the trials, but there’s no reason to believe it’s not safe, says Dr. Swamy, who notes that the vaccine’s potential effects on pregnant people are being studied. President Joe Biden’s chief medical advisor, Anthony Fauci, M.D., said in early February that the more than 10,000 pregnant people who’d been vaccinated had not experienced any unusual effects. It’s also worth noting that while the World Health
Organization initially said there wasn’t enough data to recommend vaccinating while pregnant, it now recommends vaccination for pregnant people who have a high risk of exposure or a high-risk medical condition. The bottom line: Most scientists studying the question believe that the risk of not getting the vaccine while pregnant far outweighs any risks associated with the vaccine itself.
Can my newborn be vaccinated? No. As of press time, the vaccines are approved only for young adults 16 and older. While there are vaccine trials underway that include kids ages 12 to 16, vaccines for babies will probably be the last to be approved. But COVID-19 infections in newborns are very uncommon, and severe illness appears to be rare, according to the CDC. However, preterm babies and those with underlying
conditions may be at an elevated risk of severe COVID-19 illness.
If I forgo the vaccine, what risks might I face if I develop COVID -19 while pregnant? No increased risk of miscarriage or birth defects has been associated with COVID-19. But there appears to be a two- to threefold increased risk of preterm delivery, because if the mother has severe COVID-19 disease, delivery may be performed in hopes of optimizing her care, Dr. Louis says. Keep in mind: If you’re COVID-positive when you give birth and your baby is admitted to the NICU, you may not be permitted to visit for ten to 20 days. If I get the vaccine, could I still get COVID -19? Yes. No vaccine has an efficacy of 100 percent. But the two-dose Pfizer and Moderna vaccines are about 95 percent effective. And with 66 percent overall efficacy, the one-dose Johnson & Johnson vaccine is also considered a huge achievement by health experts. All of these vaccinations are 100 percent effective in protecting against severe COVID-19, but health experts do not yet know whether they prevent asymptomatic COVID-19. And while there is emerging evidence that the vaccines reduce the spread, some unknowns remain. “That means that, yes, you should still wear masks and continue to socially distance even after you’re vaccinated,” Dr. Louis says. And even if you’ve already had COVID-19, you should still get vaccinated, to be on the safe side.
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RECHARGE YOUR BATTERY
Her Own Great Expectations As a divorced mom of five, an author, and Human Rights Campaign Foundation chair, Jodie Patterson is well versed in the juggling act that is mom life. Despite everything on her plate, she has found balance and freedom. Here’s how she got there. by S H A N N O N M . B AU E R
Set Your Own Rules “My shared parenting arrangement is set up so that I get the kids for a month and then their father has them the next month. The first month without them, I cried and felt as if I were spiraling. But for me, discomfort and fear are entangled with opportunity. I sat with those feelings, and soon the boredom provoked creativity. The ‘alone time’ has become a powerful tool to recharge: I don’t cook every night, I might do some half-hearted Downward Dogs. So much of mothering is finishing a list of tasks, and when you break out of your rut—even for a minute or a day—you can discover new sides to yourself. Now I’m tapped into my creativity, and my career has skyrocketed. I’ve since written two books.” 4
“It’s radical but important to untether for a bit from things that pull you—kids, relationships, routines, and obligations.”
Carve Out Quiet Time “In March of last year, I was doing it all—running every day, stretching, making all the beds—and then I got sick with COVID-19. It voided all my rituals and forced me to reevaluate how I keep myself healthy and happy. Now my alarm goes off at seven, and I start every day with one hour of quiet time when I read or lie still. I don’t talk. I don’t jolt out of bed. I don’t check email. Slow mornings are my time for self-healing.” 1
I’ve created one with my kids, who range in age from 11 to 28. Sometimes it’s a written letter, but usually it’s a conversation where we figure out what each individual needs. For me, it’s that hour of silence in the morning and at 9:30 every night, when I shut off from the millions of questions and the referee moments and begin winding down before bed. For my kids, it might be time to play video games or space to be alone.”
Channel Role Models “When I have a problem, I think about my idols—bold, self-determined women who fought against the status 3
Make a Family Contract “Adults are used to contracts with their business partners or spouses, or with other adults. 2
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Show Skin the Love “I love my bathroom time. I used to have a short and sweet skin-care routine, but now it’s intentionally long. And I make sure to use brands that share my values.”
Jodie’s Picks
“The Kat Burki Micro-Firming Wand is like a yoga session for my face. The next day, when I wake up, I look at myself in the mirror and think, ‘You look good, Mama!’ ” $100; katburki.com
Patterson’s first children’s book, Born Ready: The True Story of a Boy Named Penelope, is about her transgender son. $18; amazon.com
“A quote I live by is from On Writing, by Eudora Welty. She says that all serious daring starts from within. I read the book right out of college and return to it often.” $35; amazon.com
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“State Of products smell phenomenal and feel really light on the skin. The Arnica Hand & Joint Cream is helping with my post-COVID arthritis.” $18; stateofmenopause.com
PATTERSON: YUMI MATSUO STUDIO. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS AND PUBLISHER.
quo, such as Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, Billie Jean King, or my grandmother, who was a civil rights activist. All of them were imaginative in how they approached life. If they can, I can.”
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LIFE.
ENJOY THE JOURNEY TOGETHER YO U D O N ’ T HAVE TO D O A W H O LE
R E N OVAT I O N TO U PDATE TH E FE E L
O F YO U R S PAC E .
To save us all a few hours of online scroll shopping, we asked Shavonda Gardner and three other home experts for their current favorite picks.
ERIN KUNKEL.
New Look, Same Home After more time in our houses than we ever imagined, most of us are ready for a change of scenery, or at least fresh paint and some fun throw pillows. We asked four design-expert moms who have perfected the art of the zhuzh to each tackle one room. Their small changes can make a real difference. by L A U R A F E N T O N
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HOW TO GET A
Chic Kitchen With Shavonda Gardner
The Le Creuset Signature Enameled Cast Iron Essential Oven looks just as handsome perched on your stovetop as on your dinner table. $180; williams-sonoma.com
A cool fixture like this Young House Love Metal Convertible Pendant can single-handedly recharge the whole kitchen. $185; shadesoflight.com
“I appreciate the extra storage underneath this Benjara Brown & White Marble Top Metal Kitchen Island.” $658.50; homedepot.com
“If you want instant personality, paint the cabinets, the walls, or the floors,” Gardner says. “Sherwin-Williams Hunt Club is a great deep green, like my cabinets.” Gallons start at $38.50; sherwin-williams.com
Serve sweets on the Mosser Glass Cake Stand, or let it be countertop jewelry. $35 plus $35 for top; onekingslane.com
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Bring on country vibes by way of Provence with the Lecci Clay French Linen Kitchen Towel by Harmony. $17.50; idreamoffrance.com
This line of appliances comes in gorgeous pastels, such as a mint Smeg 2-slice toaster. $170; westelm.com
Corral kitchen tools in Farmhouse Pottery Handmade Ceramic Vintage-Style Crocks. Starting at $24 each; food52.com
GARDNER: GARY ASHLEY OF CREATE AND GATHER. KITCHEN: ERIN KUNKEL. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
Shavonda Gardner’s blog, SG Style, celebrates small spaces that embrace bold elements and also champions Black and LGBTQ+ voices in the world of home design. Gardner’s Sacramento, California, house, shared with her wife, Naomi, and their teens, Bryanna, 18, and Michael, 13, is full of color and pattern. Her approach to kitchen decorating is no different from the rest of her home: She knows that a little DIY-ing (get out that paintbrush), paired with a collection of well-loved, useful things, adds up to a room that feels good to be in.
Each Curious Animal Head Wall Decor hangs by a simple loop you can hook onto a nail. $49 each; crateandbarrel.com
Two bulbs help you control brightness in the Rivet Dome-Shaped Table Lamp. $59.50; amazon.com
“This sky scene Nuage Mural is my favorite thing in my daughter’s room,” Wheeler says. There’s a peel-andstick version too! $459; anewall.com
Furniture like this Motherly Timeless 6-Drawer Dresser With Changer Topper (holds a changing pad) grows with your child. $400; shop.mother.ly
HOW TO GET A
Happy Kid’s Room
The Diamond Aztec Tufted Flat Weave Area Rug by Drew Barrymore Flower Home is gender-neutral. $180 for 7x10 feet; walmart.com
WHEELER AND KID’S ROOM: COURTESY OF ERIN WHEELER. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
With Erin Wheeler
The name of Erin Wheeler’s blog captures her decorating style: Sunny Circle Studio is all about cheerful décor. A former graphic designer, Wheeler has carved out a niche designing Pinterest-worthy rooms that stand up to her family’s active life in Raleigh, North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, David, and their children, Wyatt, 9, and Zora, 6. Her kids’ bedrooms, in particular, are a lesson in how to dress up a space that children inhabit. Wheeler’s secret is mixing sophisticated furniture with quirky, artful accents.
“Find amazing art on Etsy, like this Pear printable poster. Download, print, and frame.” $8; louplab.etsy.com
Kids move so fast from a crib to a toddler bed to a single. Go economical with a charming Minnen frame. $99; ikea-usa.com
Wooden toys like this set of Rainbow Nesting Arches double as sculpture. $64; bitteshop.com
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“A curvy ceramic light, like the Pillowfort Modern Ball Table Lamp, adds warmth, but in a really simple way.” $35; target.com
Move the Visby Teal Textured Round Pouf around to be a cheery footstool or a spare seat. $92; burkedecor.com
“When choosing upholstery fabric, go for a medium-dark tone: not light, not dark,” Henderson says. “You’d be shocked by how much pet hair and milk a dark sofa can show!”
Minimalist Living Room With Emily Henderson
“The Burrard Sofa is very comfortable, the proportions are great, and the fabric is forgiving. Plus, it comes in a sectional option, which is my personal favorite.” $1,299; article.com
Add in some color with this Garren Pillow, which can veer modern or rustic. $38; effortlesscomposition.com
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Emily Henderson got her start styling homes for magazines, but it was HGTV’s Design Star that made the West Coast stylist a household name. Her blog, Style by Emily Henderson, is beloved for her fun voice and her look that’s aspirational yet achievable for folks with young kids— she and her husband, Brian, have Charlie, 7, and Elliot (called Birdie), 5. Her design signature is clean and cool with touches of vintage charm to keep things fresh. It’s just what we crave in rooms that double as kid zones and spots for grown-ups to chill.
Stash your random clutter inside the Pillowfort Water Hyacinth and Coiled Rope Storage Bin. $20; target.com
Walls radiate calm with a soft neutral gray such as BEHR Eon N370-2 . Gallons start at $28; homedepot.com
HENDERSON AND INTERIOR: SARA LIGORRIA-TRAMP. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
HOW TO GET A
“Once, for a photo shoot, I clipped branches from my backyard, and now it’s all I do for an easy f loral display.”
HOW TO GET AN
“I use my own Jamila Santa Fe Rug by Justina Blakeney X Loloi in our bedroom. It’s so soft underfoot, and the colors are very soothing.” $429 for 5x71/2 feet; jungalow.com
Eclectic Bedroom With Justina Blakeney
BLAKENEY AND BEDROOM: JUNGALOW. RUG: LOLOI RUGS. ALL OTHER PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
Rare is the designer who launches a trend that’s maximalist in every way yet catches on with the masses. When Justina Blakeney christened her colorful Los Angeles bungalow (and her blog) The Jungalow, popularity followed. Her Jungalow brand embraces a vibrant bohemian look teeming with greenery. While she and her husband, Jason, are proud parents of Ida, 8, Blakeney also calls herself a plant mom. Her latest book, Jungalow: Decorate Wild, is out April 6 and includes ideas like these for giving a grown-up bedroom laid-back glamour.
New to plant parenthood? Try a splashy dracaena or this sculptural Snake Plant and Grant Planter. Starting at $40; thesill.com
Potter’s Clay Lime Wash dries with a nice color variation. $72 per gallon; portolapaints.com
“When space is limited, I’m a fan of hanging storage, like this Roma Cubby Wall Shelf.” $149; urbanoutfitters.com
Layer your bed with a vibrant kantha made of hand-stitched saris. Pei’s Sunrise Throw is one of a kind, but there are similar gems on the website. $190; suchiras.com
“Throw out preconceived notions and channel colors that make you feel the way you want to in your bedroom—sleepy! Sexy! Relaxed! Use paint, wallpaper, and textiles to bring your space to life,” Blakeney says.
“I sleep on the Casaluna 100% Washed Linen Solid Sheet Set. It keeps me from feeling too hot at night.” $179; target.com
This Round Cane Accent Table has a removable tray top and big island style. $198; touchofclass.com
L I F EÑ C e l e b r a t e
Love in Every Layer
Cake it up a notch with these festive beauties from Food Network’s Molly Yeh.
Sprinkle Party Cake For recipe, see page 94.
“ B A K I N G I N our house was a way to show
people you loved them,” cookbook author Molly Yeh says of the cupcake-making moments she shared as a kid with her mom. Now a mother herself, the 31-year-old behind the Food Network show Girl Meets Farm that’s filmed out of her Minnesota home and the blog My Name Is Yeh carries PA R E N T S
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on the tradition with her 2-year-old daughter, Bernie. Yeh’s love language of choice these days: from-scratch layer cakes. Her colorful creations—rainbow sprinkles and marzipan add-ons make frequent appearances—have the power to elicit heart eyes from both kids and adults, making them showstoppers fully worth
the production for birthdays and other biggish celebrations. Little hands can help. Yeh has been finding ways for Bernie to be sous chef, adding either frosting or premeasured ingredients. “Having a family cake recipe you can go back to year after year and build memories around,” Yeh says, “is what baking is all about.” photographs by L I N D A X I A O
Color Pop Cake For recipe, see page 98.
Yeh wanted a rainbow effect for Bernie’s first birthday. What she didn’t want was a cake heavy on artificial ingredients. Her brilliant solution? Store-bought carrot and beet juices and mint leaves. (Don’t worry: All you’ll taste is a color explosion.)
L I F EÑ C e l e b r a t e
Yeh (with Bernie) says you can freeze the layers in advance to get some work out of the way. When it’s time to assemble, the frozen pieces are easier to handle and frost.
2. Beat sugar and butter in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment on medium speed until fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes. Add egg whites 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Reduce mixer speed to low, and beat in oil, vanilla, and almond extract to incorporate, 1 to 2 minutes. 3. With mixer running on low speed, add flour mixture to sugar mixture in 3 additions, alternating with 2 additions of milk, and beating until just combined after each addition. Gently fold in sprinkles using a rubber spatula and evenly distributing. Divide batter evenly among prepared cake pans.
2 1 11/2 4 1/4 1
tsp. baking powder tsp. kosher salt cups granulated sugar large egg whites cup canola or vegetable oil Tbs. clear imitation vanilla (such as McCormick) 1/2 tsp. almond extract 3/4 cup whole milk 1/2 cup rainbow sprinkles (do not use naturally colored sprinkles)
Sprinkle Party Cake Active Time 30 minutes Total Time 2 hours Makes 16 servings I N G R E DI E N T S For the cake: 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for pans 21/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/4 cup cornstarch
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For the frosting: 13/4 cups (31/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature 31/2 cups confectioners’ sugar 2 Tbs. whole milk 11/2 tsp. clear imitation vanilla 1/4 tsp. almond extract 1/8 tsp. kosher salt For the cake topper: Paper in assorted colors 2 wooden skewers Glue
MAKE IT
1. Make the cake: Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter three 8-in. round cake pans; line pan bottoms with parchment paper. Set aside. Whisk together flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl; set aside.
Yay—More Yeh!
Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code to follow Molly Yeh on Instagram.
5. Make the frosting: Beat butter in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment on medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute. Reduce mixer speed to low; gradually add confectioners’ sugar and beat until combined and smooth, 2 to 3 minutes. Increase mixer speed to medium; beat in milk, vanilla, almond extract, and salt until combined, 2 to 3 minutes. 6. Assemble the cake: Place 1 cake layer on a platter; spread top evenly with some of the frosting. Top with second cake layer; spread top evenly with some of the frosting. Top with remaining cake layer; spread top and sides of cake with remaining frosting. 7. Make the paper-chain cake topper: Cut 10 strips of paper in various colors about 1/4 in. wide and 1 in. long. Make a loop using 1 strip and secure with glue. Insert a paper strip in a different color into the loop and glue it to make an interconnected loop. Repeat 8 times. Adhere each end to a wooden skewer.
FOOD STYLING BY MONICA PIERINI. PROP STYLING BY PAM MORRIS. PORTRAIT: JAMIE PRESCOTT.
“Bernie will cover anything and everything with sprinkles,” Yeh says. “She is my child, after all!” Yeh loves both naturally colored and traditional sprinkles but says the latter are the better choice for this cake. They create the classic confetti effect and add color that won’t bleed too much into the layers.
4. Bake until a wooden pick inserted into centers of the layers comes out clean, 22 to 25 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes. Remove the layers from pans, and transfer to a wire rack. Let cool completely, about 1 hour.
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L I F EÑ C e l e b r a t e
Blueberry Bash Cake For recipe, see page 98.
“Bernie’s number-one favorite food in the whole world is blueberries,” says Yeh. The fruit is what gives this cake its cool spots and lavender hue, but it’s the marzipan “stickers” she uses to decorate that will really bring on the oohs and aahs.
MAKE MOLLY’S MARZIPAN “STICKERS” These colorful decorations have a nice almondy flavor, and they’re perfect for budding bakers. “Marzipan is like Play-Doh,” explains Yeh. “Bernie can roll it out and cut tiny shapes.” 1. Divide one 7-oz. container marzipan (such as Odense) into 3 equal portions on a work surface. Add 2 to 3 drops blue food coloring gel to 1 of the marzipan portions, and knead until color is fully incorporated, 3 to 4 minutes, dusting with confectioners’ sugar if needed to prevent sticking. Repeat
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with the remaining 2 marzipan portions and food coloring gels in orange and purple. 2. Place a piece of parchment paper on a silicone mat lightly dusted with confectioners’ sugar; place 1 colored marzipan piece on parchment paper, and roll into a 5-in. circle.
Using a variety of 1-in. cookie cutters, stamp out shapes from marzipan round (about 15 “stickers” per round). Repeat process with remaining colored marzipan pieces. Decorate cake with desired amount of marzipan stickers, gently pressing onto frosting to adhere.
WHAT' S M Y NA M E ? RIDESHARE ZONE
The #WHATSMYNAME Foundation was established in honor of our daughter—Samantha Josephson.
Our mission is to educate the world on rideshare safety, supporting charitable organizations and providing college scholarships to selected high school seniors. Samantha may be gone but our goal for the rest of our time on earth is to share her story and make a lasting change. Before you get in a rideshare ask, “What’s my name?” and please, remember hers—Samantha Josephson. —SEYMOUR & MARCI JOSEPHSON WHATSMYNAME.ORG
S A M I
#whatsmyname
If you would like to support the efforts of the #WHATSMYNAME Foundation please visit WHATSMYNAME.ORG
L I F EÑ C e l e b r a t e
FRO M PAG E 9 3
Color Pop Cake Active Time 30 minutes Total Time 2 hours 10 minutes Makes 16 servings I N G R E DI E N T S For the cake: 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for pans 31/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 Tbs. baking powder 11/2 tsp. kosher salt 21/4 cups granulated sugar 1/2 cup refined coconut oil, at room temperature 4 large eggs, at room temperature 1/2 cup sour cream, at room temperature 1 Tbs. pure vanilla extract 1/4 cup bottled carrot juice 1 cup whole milk, divided 1/4 cup bottled beet juice 1/4 cup packed fresh mint leaves For the frosting: 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature 8 oz. cream cheese, at room temperature 4 cups confectioners’ sugar 3 Tbs. heavy whipping cream 11/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract 1/8 tsp. kosher salt
6. Make the frosting: Beat butter and cream cheese in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment on medium speed until creamy, about 1 minute. Reduce mixer speed to low, and gradually beat in confectioners’ sugar, whipping cream, vanilla, and salt. Increase mixer speed to medium, and beat mixture until creamy, 1 to 2 minutes. 7. Assemble cake: Using a serrated knife, trim domed tops of the cake layers to make flat. Place 1 layer on a platter; spread top evenly with some of the frosting. Top with second layer; spread top evenly with some of the frosting. Top with remaining layer; spread top and sides of cake with remaining frosting. Decorate with sprinkles.
A few pro tools can make any cake look like bakery material. These staples from Ateco are available at bakedeco.com.
Frost with one hand while turning the 12-in. Revolving Cake Stand ($69) with the other for a smooth finish.
The 41/2-in. Offset Spatula ($3) is an absolute bargain that distributes icing evenly and navigates round edges expertly.
FRO M PAG E 9 6
Active Time 55 minutes Total Time 2 hours 35 minutes Makes 16 servings
MAKE IT
1. Make the cake: Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter three 8-in. round cake pans; line bottoms with parchment. Set aside. Sift flour and baking powder in a bowl; whisk in salt. Set aside. 2. Beat sugar, butter, and coconut oil in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment on mediumhigh speed until fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Reduce mixer speed to low; beat in sour cream and vanilla to combine. Gradually add flour mixture, and beat until almost combined, about 1 minute. Divide batter evenly among three bowls. 3. Add carrot juice and 1/4 cup of the milk to one bowl of batter; fold together until smooth and just combined. Add beet juice and 1/4 cup of the milk to second bowl of batter; fold together until smooth and just combined. 4. Process mint and remaining 1/2 cup milk in a food processor until smooth, 2 to 3 minutes; add mixture to third bowl of batter,
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5. Bake until edges of the layers are lightly browned and a wooden pick inserted into centers comes out with a few crumbs, about 30 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes. Remove layers from pans, and transfer to a wire rack. Let cool completely, about 1 hour.
Molly’s Essentials
Blueberry Bash Cake
For decorating: Natural sprinkles
PA R E N T S
and fold together until smooth and just combined. Transfer each batter to a prepared cake pan, spreading evenly in pans.
2021
I N G R E DI E N T S For the cake: 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for pans 1 Tbs. baking powder 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon 4 cups plus 1 Tbs. all-purpose flour, divided 11/2 tsp. kosher salt 11/4 cups heavy whipping cream, at room temperature 1/2 cup sour cream, at room temperature 21/4 cups granulated sugar 1/2 cup unrefined coconut oil, at room temperature 2 tsp. grated lemon zest 4 large eggs, at room temperature 1 Tbs. pure vanilla extract 1/2 tsp. almond extract (optional) 11/2 cups (6 oz.) frozen (not thawed) wild blueberries For the frosting: 1/2 cup (2 oz.) frozen (not thawed) wild blueberries 2 Tbs. water 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
Yeh makes her marzipan stickers using the shapes of the 12-Piece Stainless Steel 1-in. Aspic/Jelly Cutters Set ($13), which includes playing card symbols, a star, a moon, and a triangle.
3/4 cup cream cheese, at room temperature 4 cups confectioners’ sugar 11/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract Pinch of kosher salt 2 or 3 Tbs. heavy whipping cream, divided Marzipan stickers, for decorating (optional, see page 96) Mini gold star sprinkles, for decorating (optional) MAKE IT
1. Make the cake: Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter three 8-in. round cake pans; line bottoms with parchment. Set aside. Sift baking powder, cinnamon, and 4 cups of
the flour in a bowl; whisk in salt. Set aside. Whisk whipping cream and sour cream in a measuring cup; set aside. 2. Beat sugar, butter, coconut oil, and lemon zest in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment on medium-high speed until fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating until combined after each addition. Beat in vanilla and almond extract, if using. Reduce mixer speed to medium-low; beat in flour mixture in 3 additions, alternating with 3 additions of whipping-cream mixture, beginning and ending with flour, beating until just combined after each addition. 3. Toss together blueberries and remaining 1 Tbs. flour in a bowl, and fold into batter. Pour batter evenly into prepared pans. 4. Bake until tops of the layers start to brown and a wooden pick inserted into centers comes out with a few crumbs, 30 to 35 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes. Remove layers from pans, and transfer to a wire rack. Let cool completely, about 1 hour. 5. Make the frosting: Place blueberries and water in a saucepan; cook over medium, stirring and mashing occasionally with a rubber spatula, until blueberries release juices, 8 to 10 minutes. Pour through a mesh strainer into a bowl, mashing blueberries with a spatula to release juices. Discard solids. Set aside 3 Tbs. juice. 6. Beat butter and cream cheese in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment on medium speed until creamy, about 1 minute. Gradually add confectioners’ sugar, beating until combined, 2 to 3 minutes. Add vanilla, salt, 3 Tbs. blueberry juice, and 2 Tbs. whipping cream; beat until incorporated, adding remaining 1 Tbs. cream, 1 tsp. at a time, as needed until smooth and fluffy. Beat mixture until creamy, 2 to 3 minutes. 7. Assemble cake: Using a serrated knife, trim domed tops of the cake layers to make flat. Place 1 layer on a platter; spread top evenly with some of the frosting. Top with second layer; spread top evenly with some of the frosting. Top with remaining layer; spread top and sides of cake with remaining frosting. Decorate with marzipan stickers and/or mini gold stars, if using.
© 2021 Kraft Foods
D L I I T U . B M . I T X I I K T C U A P T . S
L I F EÑ O r g a n i z i n g
Live in Peace With Kid Clutter
You’ve got stuff. We’ve got solutions. Whether it’s your son’s PAW Patrol collection forever parked in front of the TV or the mountain of Crocs and backpacks blocking the entryway, our experts—including the super duo from the show Get Organized With The Home Edit—have realistic advice for clearing the way. by B E T SY G O L D B E R G
In the living room, opt for grown-up-looking storage to contain kids’ stuff.
CLUTTER TR AP
The living room seems to double as a playroom. THE FIX
When toys take over, it’s usually because you don’t have a clear home for them, which makes it harder to clean up. “But that doesn’t mean your living room has to look like a day-care center,” says Nikki Boyd, a South Carolina–based decluttering pro and author of Beautifully Organized. “Choose furniture that reduces clutter, like a storage ottoman or a coffee table with an opening at the bottom for a basket.” A bookcase with bins—lidless, so kids can reach in and put stuff back later—is another smart move, according to Rachel Rosenthal, a professional organizer in Washington, D.C. L O N G -T E R M PLAN
When it seems like the entire contents of your kid’s playroom have been gradually migrating to the living room, take inventory and start paring down. Pull out all the
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OPPOSITE: CATHERINE GAILLOUD/PHOTOFOYER. THIS PAGE, CLOSET: BRIE WILLIAMS PHOTOGRAPHY. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
toys and sort them into categories: cars, Barbie dolls, and such, Rosenthal says. “That allows you to see if there are broken items, or if you’ve got 15 dolls and your kid plays with only two, you can make decisions about tossing or giving them away.” Once you’ve narrowed it down to a manageable stash, determine with your kids which items should stay in the living room. Use your living-room storage vessels as a visual cue, too, says Clea Shearer, cofounder of The Home Edit organizing service, in Nashville, and costar of the Netflix show. “Once you have more than can fit in the container, it’s time to purge again.”
BASKETS ON SHELVES AND THE FLOOR WILL KEEP LOOSE ITEMS FROM SPILLING OVER.
off-season. “If drawers are too overstuffed and you have to struggle to squeeze things in,” she says, “you’re less likely to keep them neat.” L O N G -T E R M PLAN
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C L E V E R S T O WAWAYS
Your kids’ clothes are outgrowing their closet space.
THE TOP LIFTS R I G H T O F F.
THE FIX Comfy and luxe-looking, the Maypex Tufted Round Storage Trunk Cocktail Ottoman has about 4 cubic feet of empty space inside. Can you imagine how many Marvel action figures that can fit? $215; homedepot.com
Toss toys into the Upholstered Round Storage Ottoman when your in-laws come over. Then let them rest their drinks on the wooden top, completely unsuspecting of what lies beneath. Available in three sizes starting at $299; westelm.com
Boyd is a fan of the 13-inch Threshold Fabric Cube Storage Bin. “It holds a good bit without taking up a lot of space and folds flat when you don’t need it.” $10; target.com
Unearthing more room in a closet takes some creativity. “We are like CSI, hunting for negative space,” Shearer says. “Look under the clothing rod, for example. That blank spot is where you can put baskets for shoes or accessories.” Since kids’ clothes are smaller, mount another clothing rod underneath or add shelves or drawers for folded garments. And don’t assume all your kids’ clothes belong in the bedroom, says Shearer, who recommends moving weather-specific items like sweaters or shorts to the attic or a hall closet in the
Kids grow quickly, so stem the flow at checkpoints like holidays and birthdays. “I know my kids will be getting clothing from Grandma then, so I make a conscious effort to clear out first,” Shearer says. Joanna Teplin, the other half of The Home Edit, conditions her kids to think this way too. “My daughter will be like, ‘I want a new sweatshirt,’ and I’ll say, ‘All right, but we have to go through this other stuff first because your drawer is overcrowded,’ ” she says. “Telling your kids how important it is to donate clothes can keep them from feeling like their belongings are too special to purge.” Most of the pros hang clothes by category—shirts, pants, dresses—and then within those, by color, making it easy to declutter at a glance. “I’ll be like, ‘Wait, why does Jimmy have four blue shirts? Let me get rid of two,’ ” Boyd says.
L I F EÑ O r g a n i z i n g
Clear countertops are possible with a few tweaks.
A D J U S TA B L E O R GA N I Z E R S
S T R AT E G I C DIVIDERS
THIS FOLDS C O M P L E T E LY F L AT !
The iDesign Plastic Storage Bin is clear, so kids can find just what they need, and it’s easy to pull out and set on the counter. $19; amazon.com
The Six-Shelf Bamboo Sweater Organizer has Velcro straps that attach to the rod, providing a column of cubbies for folded items or accessories. $30; westelm.com
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“Stick on an adhesive Command Large Timeless Hook to that little side nook in the closet where nothing hung or folded can fit,” Rosenthal recommends. “It’s a perfect spot to park a robe.” $8; joann.com
You dream of wrangling all the food containers, especially your kids’ lunchbox stuff.
suggests. (Or try these clever hacks: Dedicate a dishdraining rack to containing plates and cups, or install a tension rod or two in a drawer or a cabinet as makeshift dividers.) You could even set up a lunch-making cart, stocked with snacks and drinks as well as bento boxes and thermoses, that can be wheeled out of the way when not needed.
Maximize space with the 4DPS Series Peg Drawer System, which allows you to divvy up Tupperware and other containers to their dimensions. Starting at $75; rev-a-shelf.com
L O N G -T E R M PLAN
Drink containers are like bowling pins—they’re always getting knocked over. The UpSpace Water Bottle and Travel Mug Organizer stably stacks bottles, thermoses, or sippy cups. $25; youcopia.com
The Elfa Closet 4-foot White Closet Kit is customizable, so as your kid grows, you can raise and lower the heights of the shelves and hanging clothes, and even add drawers. Starting at $418; containerstore.com
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Countertops can easily get overrun with all the little items, especially if your kids use them as a dumping ground for their lunch boxes at the end of the day. Teplin suggests these simple rules to curb the chaos: Everything goes in a drawer or a cabinet and never exceeds that space; once it’s full, pare down. If your kids’ food containers are stored in deep drawers, add dividers or clear bins with labels (words or images, depending on kids’ ages) to prompt everyone in the family to put things back in the right place, Rosenthal
The kitchen is a communal space, so this is a good opportunity to involve the kids in decluttering and get the whole family to create some organizing habits. Weed out the easy throwaways first, like anything stained or melted by the dishwasher. For the rest, think about what your kids reach for a lot. “Most of our clients’ children have their favorites, like the one sippy cup they must have their milk out of, so go ahead and discard the others they
won’t touch,” Atlanta-based organizer Brittani Allen says. Rosenthal’s approach is to turn decluttering into a challenge. “For example, fill all the cups with juice and have kids do a ‘taste test’ to decide which ones to keep,” she suggests.
KITCHEN: KATE MATHIS. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
THE FIX
PAINT THAT’S TOO TOUGH TO SCUFF WHEN IT COMES TO SCUFFS, YOU’RE COVERED. INTRODUCING BEHR ULTRA® SCUFF DEFENSE.T
L I F EÑ O r g a n i z i n g
Hack your entry with just a few feet of space.
FUNCTIONAL F OY E R S
Sort belongings by family member behind the cubby doors of the Eby Solid Wood Shoe Storage Bench. The cushioned seat makes tying laces or pulling off boots easier. $336; wayfair.com
It’s officially time to rein in the shoes, coats, and book bags by the front door.
THE FIX
A good tactic is to set up the foyer so that each person has designated stowaway spots, just like the kids are used to in their classrooms at school: their own bin for gloves, hats, and shoes, or their own hook or color-coded hangers for coats. “Not everyone has a mudroom or an entry with cabinets, but there are plenty of ways to put together a setup like this,” Teplin says. “You could do a bench with cubbies or a grouping of floor baskets with hooks on the wall above them.” Take cues from how your family operates, too, Boyd says. “If your husband drops his keys on the table or the
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Add one or up to three. Either way, the sleek Marie Kondo Stacking Slatted Wood Shoe Shelf has a minimal footprint. $40; containerstore.com
L O N G -T E R M PLAN
Get Kids on the Organization Train
Be deliberate about what gets stored in this limited area (only things you’re currently using regularly), and switch it up every season, Boyd says. Next, take a look at bulky stuff like sports gear and ask, “Could that lacrosse bag go in the garage or even the car trunk?” Realize, of course, that once your organizing system is in place, the upkeep will require repeated reminders to the kids (or “drilling it into their heads,” according to Shearer). “Nothing makes me crazier than when my kids take off their shoes and put them next to the shoe bins,” she says. “I will literally haul them down from upstairs and tell them, ‘Please put those away. We all live in this house together, and we need to be respectful and keep it neat for everyone.’ ”
Make it a less bumpy ride with these tips from lifestyle coach and podcaster Allie Cassava, author of the upcoming book Declutter Like a Mother. Have the clutter talk. “Discuss getting rid of their stuff with your kids first so that it doesn’t feel like a punishment. Start small, like, ‘Hey, you have so many choices! I bet you could pick ten things to give to another girl who doesn’t have a lot of toys.’ Every kid has a different personality. Some may be grumpy. Allow them to feel that emotion. But just like when your kid has a tantrum at the store and you’ve got to finish shopping, you need to see the process through. Say, ‘I see you love that, so we’re not going to get rid of it. What else do you want to hold on to? Let’s figure that out first and then decide what can go.’ ”
Less stuff = less work. “Your kids can pick up after themselves as long as it’s not overwhelming. Often kids aren’t lazy; it’s just that there’s too much to deal with. In my house, we never had more than two kid cups per child, and if one was lost, I’d tell them to go find it. When there are fewer possessions, there’s less to clean, less going on, and less on your to-do list.” Kiss perfection goodbye. “When teaching kids to put away their belongings, avoid saying things like, ‘You’re supposed to clean it like this.’ If you let go of the idea of Pinterest-worthy organization and realize that kids can handle the job, you’ll be happy with it.”
ENTRYWAY: CARSON DOWNING. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
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kids pile shoes on the floor in a corner, add a basket in that spot or mount a shelf above it, and you won’t have the frustration of having to see it.”
The Ada Hall Tree and Shoe Storage is an all-in-one unit complete with coat hooks and ample shelves for footwear, bags, and hats. $349; allmodern.com
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L I F E Ñ S u s t a i n a b i l it y
Green Your Kitchen Routines These simple tweaks make meal prep and cleanup less wasteful, so you’ll save a little money and help the planet in the process. by L A U R A F E N T O N
Work your small appliances. The slow cooker, pressure cooker, toaster oven, and microwave all consume less energy than the main stove. “If you’re cooking half a head of broccoli, why heat up the big oven?” says Melanie Mannarino, author of The (Almost) Zero-Waste Guide. When you do turn on the oven, fill it up: Roast some nuts or vegetables along with whatever you’re making so you can use the energy to its full potential. Peek on the progress using the oven light, because opening the door causes the oven to drop 25 degrees, and then it will need to reheat. Wash your dishes smarter. Happy news for those of us who hate standing at the sink: The dishwasher is more efficient than hand-washing, according to a study in the journal Environmental Research Communications. Wait to run your dishwasher until it is full, skip the prerinsing, and opt for the air-dry function over heated dry to reduce your energy footprint even further.
MY GREEN
awakening kicked in right after I had my baby. Once I began to think about my kid’s future, my vague ideas about living sustainably were put into sharp focus. For me, like many parents on a path to a more earth-friendly lifestyle, the kitchen was an obvious first step. Aside from the diaper pail, our cooking space was where my family created the most garbage; it’s also the place where we used a significant amount
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of energy. Over the years, I’ve shifted my shopping habits, leaned into plantbased eating, and even embraced composting. Becoming more respectful of our environment doesn’t require a total lifestyle overhaul. Starting small makes a world of difference, as other ecominded moms I talked with point out. So if, say, you just can’t quit paper towels, no shame in baby steps. As all parents know, those lead to big strides.
Don’t lose your leftovers. No one likes to throw out food because they forgot it existed. Some estimates suggest that a family of four in the U.S. will toss about $1,800 worth of groceries in a year. Mom of two Sophie Egan, the author of How to Be a Conscious Eater:
SASHA GULISH.
When possible, buy veggies unpackaged and unbagged.
Upcycle glass jars. If you remove the labels and wash your pasta sauce and pickle containers, they’re basically free Tupperware and art-supply organizers, says Elise Hay, mom of two and founder of Organized Sanctuaries, in the Seattle area. Hay makes a paste of baking soda and cooking oil that works wonders for taking off the sticky labels. When she stores leftovers in glass, she can see what she has more easily, which helps her use the food before it goes bad.
L I F E Ñ S u s t a i n a b i l it y
water bottle will churn through three cans of seltzer a day. I know, because I have been one of those people,” Egan says. She suggests a home bubble maker like SodaStream, which will also save money in the long run.
Bottle your own water and make it taste just the way you like it.
And Try These Fast Five 1
Swap single-use plastic baggies for reusable silicone ones.
Grow herbs and veggies. A pot of fresh herbs means you never buy a plastic clamshell of basil or thyme again. And a small setup can lead to bigger things: “I hate dirt, I hate bugs, but a container garden of tomatoes was the gateway for me,” Mannarino says. “The next year we had one raised bed, and now we’re up to three.” (If you’re officially ready to get your hands dirty, see Get Your Family Garden On, on page 30.) Christine Wong, coauthor of Living Without Plastic, saves the root ends of scallions and potatoes, puts them in water to sprout, and then replants them. “It’s a fun way for kids to feel more connected to their food,” Wong says.
2
Buy your produce “naked” (i.e., not wrapped in plastic), and wash it when you get home. 3
Ditch a coffee-pod device for drip or French press coffee. 4
Revive half-wilted greens, root vegetables, and celery by soaking them in cold water. 5
Making Food Choices That Are Good for You, Others, and the Planet, suggests designating a section of your fridge as an “eat this first” zone. Another idea: Set aside certain days to focus on using up leftovers, like Waste-Less Wednesdays, Stir-Fry Fridays, or Souper Sundays.
Turn on the tap. Drink from the faucet instead of using bottled water that generates plastic waste. If you’re concerned about your water’s safety, invest in a filter that screens out contaminants. Then reconsider other beverages you buy. “It’s funny how the same people who tote their reusable
Use fewer paper towels. Wong likes Swedish-style sponge cloths, made of a mix of cotton and plant fibers, to wipe counters. The absorbent cloths (amazingswedishdishcloth.com sells cute patterns) can be used many times, laundered, and composted at the end of their life: win-win-win. Or make free “unpaper” towels: Cut up old T-shirts and put them in a plastic-bag dispenser for easy access, suggests Kiesha Yokers, a holistic wellness coach and author of the blog Green + Well. After you use a T-shirt towel, drop it into a laundry basket. If they’re extra grimy, prerinse or give the rags their own load.
Replace plastic scrubby sponges with compostable cellulose sponges and copper scrubbers.
Shop secondhand. Cast-iron pans, dishes, glassware, mixing bowls, and knives are all great things to buy used or, if you prefer, “vintage.” Browse Facebook Marketplace and eBay to find great scores. Your hunt should save you cash and will keep still-useful things out of a landfill. Just steer clear of nonstick pans and plastic items, which can degrade over time.
(Finally) Start Composting Letting food scraps decompose naturally is not as icky as it seems. Those countertop bins? That’s not where you actually compost; they’re a holding place for onion skins, egg shells, coffee grounds, and the like until you empty them outdoors. If you give scraps away, you can store them in a lidded bucket in the fridge or the freezer (a charcoal filter will reduce odors) until pickup or drop-off. Your options, in brief:
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keep it moist. Stir it every month to help it transform into rich soil for your yard. Put it on the curb. If your city or town has a composting program, use it. Read the guidelines, since they differ by town (tree branches, for
example, are sometimes yes, sometimes no). Contract it out. Pay to get rid of scraps. Compostnow.org lists service providers in 40 states plus Washington, D.C., or search Google for “compost pickup service.”
Compost with a neighbor. ShareWaste is a free app that directs you to where you can donate scraps to gardeners or farmers. Find a drop-off site. Check the farmers’ market or local park for a collection day.
LINDA XIAO.
Do it yourself. Fill the Geobin ($39; amazon.com)—which is about the size of a garbage can and kept outdoors—by alternating kitchen scraps with leaves or other dry plant materials. If it looks dry, sprinkle on some water to
A PLANT-BASED
CLEAN FOR FAMILY-SIZED MESSES. IT’S JUST SCIENCE.
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SCAN TO SHOP
L I F EÑ C a r S h o p p i n g
BEST FAMILY CARS
Your Family’s Next Ride
202 1
They’re more than vehicles: Our cars have turned into sanctuaries for ten minutes of solitude, socially distanced picnic spots for the kids to eat lunch, and the preferred way to travel on vacay. Upgrade your “second home” with our annual shopping guide. by K A R E N C I C E R O / photograph by P R I S C I L L A G R A G G
MINIVA NS
B E S T V E R S AT I L I T Y
Honda Odyssey $31,790+/19 to 28 mpg H O W I T D R I V E S The
combo of its V-6 engine and ten-speed transmission give the Odyssey plenty of power. “It glides through highway lanes and on city streets,” says Parents automotive expert and dad Rob Stumpf. “You can also maneuver the 2½-ton vehicle into compact spaces.” New for 2021, some safety features, like automatic braking if a pedestrian walks in front, don’t cost extra. C A R - S E AT F I T With five
W O W FA C T O R S The
The Honda Odyssey’s third-row seats easily fold down to create a hangout space.
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third-row seats fold down, leaving you with a roomy space. A built-in vacuum on 2021 models will suck up countless crumbs. (Grab it while you can—the perk won’t be included on 2022 models because of supply issues.)
ALL CARS COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.
sets of lower anchors and six tether anchors on the EX and above models ($35,190+), you have the versatility to install any type of seat anywhere in the second or third row. “It’s spacious enough for five to six seats,” says certified passenger-safety technician Abbie Patterson, owner of Super Car Seat Geek.
BEST HANDLING
B E ST VALU E
BEST ECO PICK
Chrysler Pacifica
Kia Sedona
Toyota Sienna Hybrid
$35,045+/19 to 28 mpg
$30,400+/18 to 24 mpg
$34,460+/up to 36 mpg
H O W I T D R I V E S “Refreshed inside
and out for 2021, the Pacifica feels like you’re driving on a cloud,” Stumpf says. The all-wheel-drive system ($2,995 extra on some trim levels) gives you better traction in bad weather and helps make the minivan more stable in stop-and-go traffic. The brakes are nimble too. C A R - S E AT F I T You can put two
kids in the middle row and two in the back. “Since the head restraints in the second row are more adjustable, that’s the easiest place to install most forward-facing car seats or high-back boosters,” Patterson says. Rear-facing seats or backless boosters can potentially go in any spot. W O W FA C T O R S How about eyes
in the back of your head? The new FamCAM camera on the infotainment system shows you what kids are up to in the back. You can even zoom in on a specific seat. The wizardry is standard on the Pinnacle ($53,390+) and costs extra on the Limited edition ($48,390+).
H O W I T D R I V E S Whether you’re
squeezing into your supermarket’s curbside parking or navigating a Starbucks drive-through line precaffeinated, the Sedona’s wheel is light and easy to maneuver. Kia’s innovative automatic transmission system powers the van’s front wheels, giving them a good grip on the road. C A R - S E AT F I T All Sedona trims
now hold eight passengers and can accommodate up to five car seats—two in the back row and up to three in the middle row. Forwardfacing seats may be easiest to put in the middle row behind the driver or the passenger.
H O W I T D R I V E S Skipping the 2021
model year, the 2022 MDX (out now) sports a ten-speed automatic transmission and larger wheels that crush it on winding mountain roads
redesign increased its car-seat compatibility. “There’s an extra tether in the back row, and the seats are wider and not as inclined, making installation in any position easier,” Patterson says. You’ll fit four to five car seats if you opt for the version with bench-style seating rather than captain’s chairs.
Sedona design in the works for 2022, but in the meantime, the kids will be thrilled with the touch screens on the back of the front seats that are part of the rear entertainment package ($1,500). They can play games or stream their favorite shows.
your device-happy kids with a built-in mic that transmits your voice through the rear speakers so you won’t have to shout, “What’s going on back there?” The Sienna is road trip–ready with up to 18 cupholders, seven USB ports, and climate controls for each row of passengers.
C A R - S E AT F I T The enlarged Acura
$46,900+/19 to 26 mpg
C A R - S E AT F I T The Sienna’s
W O W FA C T O R S You can out-tech
and looping drive-through lines. Its V-6 engine gives you the burst of speed you want for highway merging without feeling out of control.
Acura MDX
discontinued its gas-powered Sienna and is making only a hybrid minivan. With upgraded steering, it’s more graceful around curves. An enhanced battery warranty covers 150,000 miles or ten years, whichever comes first.
W O W FA C T O R S There’s a new
THREE-ROW SU VS
B E ST LUXU RY R E D E S I G N
H O W I T D R I V E S Toyota boldly
holds up to three seats in the middle row and two in the back. Since there are tether anchors in all seating positions, you have a lot of options. W O W FA C T O R S There’s a genius
storage compartment in the floor of the cargo area. When kids are snacking, flip the storage area’s lid from its carpeted side to its plastic side to make cleanup easier.
How We Picked the Winners
The pandemic required us to get creative, but we tested each car thoroughly. After checking safety ratings from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, car-seat expert Abbie Patterson requested photos and measurements of the seats and safety-restraint systems for the contenders. Auto expert Rob Stumpf test-drove 35 semifinalists to help make our list of winners.
MADE TO
MORE THREE-ROW SUV PICKS
HELP FILL
YOU UP
BEST REDESIGN
B E ST VALU E
Kia Sorento
Volkswagen Atlas
$29,390+/24 to 29 mpg
$31,555+/21 to 24 mpg
H O W I T D R I V E S The lowest-priced
pick of the bunch got a glow-up with a mod-looking exterior, better gas mileage, and a choice of engines. The turbocharged version on the EX and SX trims ($34,990+ and $37,990+) gives a smoother, swifter ride than previous generations. C A R - S E AT F I T Opt for a model
with captain’s chairs rather than bench-style seating if you need room for three car seats. Place high-back boosters and rear-facing seats in the second row, Patterson advises. W O W FA C T O R S All Sorentos
now include safety tech that helps you stay in your lane and turns on your high beams automatically.
H O W I T D R I V E S The Atlas steers
and brakes with ease. Heated side mirrors, automatic headlights, and other safety features come standard. C A R - S E AT F I T You can install
two seats in the third row and up to three in the second if you opt for the model without captain’s chairs. Backless boosters and rear-facing seats fit better than forward-facing ones in the third row, Patterson says. W O W FA C T O R S Instead of
a confusing instrument cluster, a “digital cockpit” behind the wheel on the SEL trims ($42,325+) has a high-res screen that displays your speed, navigation, and safety systems such as rear camera view. You can even customize it.
BEST FOR ADVENTURES
BEST FOR ROAD TRIPS
Nissan Pathfinder
Subaru Ascent
H O W I T D R I V E S Skipping over the
2021 model year, the 2022 Pathfinder (out this summer; the price was still being determined at press time) has a new nine-speed transmission for a smoother ride. Paired with its V-6 engine, it offers quick acceleration. C A R - S E AT F I T You may be
able to fit up to three car seats or boosters in the second row and two in the third, Patterson notes. If you want to install a forward-facing seat in the third row, do it on the passenger side. W O W FA C T O R S The Pathfinder
can tow up to 6,000 pounds, giving you a lot of options for hauling a camper on a road trip. Plus, there are 14 color options.
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$32,295+/21 to 27 mpg H O W I T D R I V E S With a perfectly
executed CVT transmission, it adjusts quickly to changing terrain. If you need to take unpaved back roads on a weekend getaway, the Ascent will come through with flying colors. C A R - S E AT F I T You can install up
to five seats in the car—three narrow ones in the second row and two in the back. Use the LATCH system rather than the seat belt to place a car seat in the second row behind the passenger so kids can easily get to the third row, Patterson says. W O W FA C T O R S On any trim, you’ll
snag LED headlights that move in the direction you’re steering so you can see better around corners at night.
L I F E— C a r S h o p p i n g
10 LAYERS
OF WHEAT BEST QUIET RIDE
BEST BRAKING
Honda Pilot
Mazda CX-9
$32,550+/20 to 27 mpg
$34,160+/22 to 28 mph
H O W I T D R I V E S The lighter-weight
Pilot has the same V-6 engine as the Odyssey, so you’ll score a faster ride that’s quiet and smooth, Stumpf says. C A R - S E AT F I T You’ll fit two seats
in each of the second and third rows. Forward-facing seats may work best in the second row, Patterson says. W O W FA C T O R S Three former
add-ons now come standard: paddle shifters, to give you more control over the transmission in rugged terrain; dual-climate control; and an eco-friendly system that shuts down the engine if you’re waiting in traffic.
B E ST LUXU RY TE C H
Volvo XC90
H O W I T D R I V E S “The brake pedal
is soft at slow speeds and firm when it needs to be, easily modulating just how much power you need to stop,” Stumpf says. Its four-cylinder engine supplies ample power and saves gas. C A R - S E AT F I T Four seats is
typically the max for the Mazda; you can fit two each in the center and back rows. If you need to install a forward-facing car seat in the back row, put it on the passenger side. W O W FA C T O R S Refreshed last
year, the interior with santos rosewood inlays and quilting on the first- and second-row seats feels shmancy. And a sensor that gauges the amount of rainfall on the windshield, turning wipers on and off automatically, is the bomb.
How Car Shopping Has Changed
$49,000+/21 to 30 mpg H O W I T D R I V E S It’s got game
heading uphill thanks to twincharged engines. Opt for all-wheel drive ($51,500+), and it’ll be easier to handle in bad weather. C A R - S E AT F I T You can install up
to four car seats or boosters. If you need a forward-facing car seat in the third row, install it on the passenger side using the tether, Patterson says. W O W FA C T O R S You’ll score
a wireless phone-charging plate in the console between the front seats, and sensors to help you park.
Contact the dealer for a testdrive appointment. Depending on where you live, you may not be able to walk into a showroom and ask for one. Many test-drives take place without a salesperson in the car with you (a silver lining!).
Negotiate from home. When car-seat expert Abbie Patterson bought a new minivan last year, she landed on a price after several rounds of back and forth via phone. Also ask about contactless signing; more than 400 Volkswagen dealerships, for example, have a digital signature program.
Look at trade-in options. Auto
Top Picks for Teens Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code for Parents’ best cars for teen drivers, or go to parents.com/TeenCars.
expert Rob Stumpf sold his car through Carvana. He snapped pics and answered questions to get an offer. They picked it up at his house. CarMax also gives online offers.
IN EVERY BITE
L I F EÑ C a r S h o p p i n g
A CEREAL FOR
CINNAMON
T WO-ROW SU VS
ROLL LOVERS
TO LOVE B E ST STE E RI N G SYSTE M
BEST REDESIGN
Chevrolet Equinox
Nissan Rogue
$23,800+/26 to 31 mpg
$26,650+/27 to 35 mpg
H O W I T D R I V E S The Equinox’s
H O W I T D R I V E S The Rogue has
engine steps up for the times you need to accelerate quickly. It steers well, leaving you feeling in control.
upped its game, increasing the horsepower of its engine and its gas mileage. The handling also improved over the previous gen thanks to an updated platform and chassis.
C A R - S E AT F I T You won’t have to
search for the lower anchors and tethers—they’re more obvious on the Equinox than on many other vehicles. Install a backless booster behind the driver or passenger side rather than in the center, Patterson suggests. W O W FA C T O R S The “following
distance indicator” displays the gap in time between your car and the one in front of you.
C A R - S E AT F I T If you need three
car seats in the back, opt for narrow ones and install each with a seat belt to maximize space. W O W FA C T O R S The rear doors
open to almost 90 degrees for easier access—sweet when you’re installing car seats or when the grandparents are along for the ride.
BEST HYBRID
BEST ELECTRIC
Subaru Crosstrek Hybrid
Ford Mustang Mach-E
$35,345+/up to 90 MPGe
$42,895+/94 to 108 MPGe
H O W I T D R I V E S Easy steering
and smooth breaking make this hybrid fun to drive. It has a range of up to 480 miles using both the electric- and gas-powered engines. C A R - S E AT F I T If you need
to squeeze in two car seats and a booster, putting two narrow car seats behind the driver and in the center seat will make it easier to buckle and unbuckle the seat belt for the booster, Patterson says. W O W FA C T O R S “When you’re
using cruise control, the Crosstrek kicks in a lane-centering system that’s incredibly accurate,” Stumpf says.
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H O W I T D R I V E S Ford’s all-electric
SUV is a home run, accelerating almost twice as fast as some bulky SUVs, and gives a smooth, quiet ride. It goes for 211 to 305 miles without a charge, depending on the model. C A R - S E AT F I T You’ll likely be able
to get three seats in the back, which is wide with lots of headroom. Put the narrowest seat in the center. W O W FA C T O R S Instead of an
engine, a space the size of a 36-gallon cooler is built into the front trunk (aka the frunk). Fill it with ice and head to the park for the coolest picnic.
BEST FOR ROAD TRIPS
BEST QUIET RIDE
BEST ECO TECH
Subaru Forester
Buick Envision
Toyota Venza
$24,795+/26 to 33 mpg
$31,800+/22 to 29 mpg
$32,470+/37 to 40 mpg
H O W I T D R I V E S Symmetrical
all-wheel drive comes standard so you don’t have to worry about the weather tripping up your weekend getaway. Bumpy terrain is no match for its high ground clearance. C A R - S E AT F I T You can fit two
H O W I T D R I V E S The powerful
engine and nine-speed automatic transmission pair up for plenty of acceleration in this refreshed model. The suspension system adjusts shock absorbers to deliver a smoother ride. C A R - S E AT F I T You can install three
seats—put them behind the driver and passenger sides. Install a rear-facing seat on the side of the person who’s typically shorter.
car seats in the back—woo-hoo! Avoid placing a backless booster in the center seat, Patterson says.
W O W FA C T O R S Score raised
insulation, an acoustic laminated windshield, and, on some models, special mics reduce outside noise.
roof rails for kayaks and other gear on the premium trim ($27,795+).
W O W FA C T O R S Sound-absorbing
H O W I T D R I V E S Three electric
motors supplement a four-cylinder engine, making the Venza seem peppy in around-the-town driving. Toyota also improved the suspension for a smoother, softer ride. C A R - S E AT F I T You can easily install
seats behind the passenger and driver thanks to two sets of lower anchors. W O W FA C T O R S To prevent the
backseat from getting too hot, you can switch the panoramic sunroof over the front and back seats from transparent mode (the usual) to frosted.
FA MILY SEDA NS
BEST SPORTY CAR
BEST SPORTS HYBRID
A fun second car that’s roomy enough to haul two kids on the weekend, the Toyota Camry Hybrid ($27,270+) packs more power than many similar sedans.
Need a stylin’ car to offset your minivan? Enter the four-door Nissan Maxima ($36,990+), which supplies plenty of legroom even when you have two rear-facing seats installed in the back.
B E S T A L L- W E AT H E R
Strong marks for steering plus symmetrical all-wheel drive make the Subaru Legacy ($22,895+) a good pick for small families who live in rainy or snowy climates. You can even fit three car seats in the back if needed.
Cars With a Tax Advantage B E ST VALU E HYB RI D B E ST LUXU RY CAR
With an excellent suspension system and a plush interior, the Lexus ES350 ($40,000+) gives families of three or four a smooth ride. Onboard Wi-Fi comes standard on all trims.
This zippy Honda Accord Hybrid ($26,570+) is an eco-friendly alternative to an SUV if you usually chauffeur around one or two kids. Packed with safety features, it’s also a great car to teach teens to drive. (Plan ahead; it goes fast!)
Buying a plug-in hybrid or electric car may qualify you for a federal tax credit of several thousand dollars. Search fueleconomy.gov for a list of eligible makes and models (including some of our winners).
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Ages + Stages ADVICE AS YOUR CHILD GROWS
0 –12 MONTHS
HOW TO
Keep Your Baby Safe at Night by TA M E K I A R E E C E
Think “back to sleep.”
Just about every parent frets over baby sleep and ensuring that their child has safe and restful nights in their crib. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), it’s important to always place your little cutie on their back for sleeping. Studies have shown that snoozing on their back decreases a baby’s risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Continue to lay your baby on their back even after they’re able to roll over. If your baby flips, you don’t have to reposition them during the night as long as they can comfortably roll both ways (back to tummy, tummy to back), which usually happens at around 6 months. Consider your sleep space.
Infants should rest on a firm, flat surface such as a crib, a bassinet, or a play yard. To ensure your furniture meets the latest safety requirements, check the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s website (cpsc.gov). Place the crib far away from windows, dressers, or tables. A mobile or other décor should be securely attached and out of your child’s reach. Be sure to
Get More Age-Specific Tips Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code to subscribe to our daily newsletter.
remove it once your child can sit or stand up. Avoid letting your baby sleep in a stroller, a car seat, a swing, a carrier, or a sling because of the increased risk of suffocation. If they do fall asleep there, try to move them to a firm sleep surface ASAP. Go with the bare minimum.
Until your baby turns 1, their crib should be completely empty except for a snug, fitted sheet on a firm mattress. Blankets, crib bumpers, sleep positioners, toys, and loveys should be kept out of the baby’s sleep area, as these items increase the risk of SIDS, strangulation, and suffocation. If you want to provide a comfort item, try a pacifier. According to the AAP, studies have reported a protective effect of pacifiers on the incidence of SIDS. (If you’re breastfeeding, wait until that practice is well established.) Pacifier clips, especially with attached toys, are not recommended. Avoid hats, which can slip off or cause overheating. Share your room, not your bed.
The AAP recommends that babies sleep in their parents’ room for their first 6 to 12 months, but that doesn’t mean you should be bedmates. Bedsharing increases the risk of SIDS, suffocation, or someone rolling onto the baby. If you’re getting sleepy while holding your baby, move them to their crib. If you’re worried you’ll doze off, especially during those late-night feedings, stay in your bed. It’s less dangerous to fall asleep with your baby there than a couch or a chair. Those soft surfaces pose a risk, or you could drop your baby. Before you begin any feeds in bed, make sure there are no blankets, pillows, or other items that could cover your baby’s face, head, and neck, or overheat them. Then be sure to set an alarm for 20 minutes in case you do drift off. Immediately after, place your baby in their own safe sleeping space. Sources: Sophie Shaikh, M.D., assistant professor of pediatrics and director of Duke University newborn nurseries; Lisa Klindt Simpson, injury prevention program manager for Safe Kids Southeast Wisconsin at Children’s Wisconsin, in Milwaukee.
1 –2 Y E A R S
HOW TO
Handle Fears by R E B E C C A R A KO W I T Z
Validate their feelings.
A few months before a baby’s first birthday, they start to understand more about their surroundings, which consist of familiar people and places. When that world is disrupted by a stranger coming into view, it can be startling. Most commonly, young toddlers will experience separation anxiety at nighttime or when you leave the room. In order to help ease their fears, try not to say, “Don’t cry!” or “Don’t be afraid!” Instead, empathize by saying, “I know that you’re worried.” Whether your child’s fears are understandable or odd, it’s still important to acknowledge the way they feel. Face fears as a team.
Children may also experience physical symptoms of fear such as restlessness, changes in sleep or appetite, bellyaches, or headaches. These are normal as long as they are not getting in the way of your child’s everyday life. But if their symptoms are interrupting their play, sleep, or eating, it may be time to talk to your pediatrician. Start to soothe.
Phrases like “I’m here” and “You’re safe” can help calm your kid. If your child is wary of strangers, let them sit with you when you’re with new people. Young toddlers notice the reactions of others, so if you happily interact with others, they will come to see that they are safe. If your child still can’t find their own
PA R E N T S
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2021
A G E S + S TA G E S
inner calm, help them by taking deep breaths and prompting your child to do the same. The two of you could also pretend you are blowing out candles or squeezing imaginary lemons in your hands to make lemonade. Take it slow.
Don’t try to fully avoid stressors. If your child is fearful of a particular stuffed animal, don’t toss it in the donation box. That sends the message, “Yes, you should be afraid of that toy.” Instead, pick it up and explore it together. If your kid is afraid of dogs, you might want to watch videos of dogs, or take your child to a pet shop to look at puppies through the window until they’re comfortable enough to go inside. You could also ask a neighbor with a friendly pup if you can meet them on the sidewalk, but be sure to hold your child in your arms until they are ready to get down on their own. Give your child a warning when you can: “I’m turning on the vacuum. It’s going to be loud, but I’m right here with you.” Doing these things along with your child will ease their anxiety, boost their confidence, and let them know they don’t have to deal with their fears alone. Sources: Rebecca Parlakian, adjunct faculty member in the Graduate School of Education and Human Development at The George Washington University and senior director of programs at Zero to Three, in Washington, D.C.; Karen Wohlheiter, Ph.D., a pediatric psychologist at Nemours duPont Hospital for Children, in Wilmington, Delaware.
3–4 YEARS
HOW TO
Teach About Time by R A C H E L H A R T M A N
Relate it to your routine.
Preschoolers live in the moment. The part of their brain that handles abstract thinking is still developing, making it difficult for them to understand why they have to wait months for Christmas or what the difference is between 30 minutes and half an hour. To make
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the elements of time more relevant, look for opportunities to give your child a countdown to an upcoming event or activity. When they experience how long it takes for a few minutes to pass, they’ll be more patient and better able to cope with brief holdups in their daily life, such as giving the freshly baked cookies 15 minutes to cool down before they gobble one up. Call out the minutes as they tick by so your kid becomes more aware of how time progresses. At the playground, if you say, “We’re leaving in five minutes,” they may learn that five minutes is about how long it takes to go down the slide five more times. It’s also helpful to compare a length of time with a familiar activity. For instance, if your family usually sits down to dinner for 20 minutes, you can tell your child that a 20-minute visit to the pediatrician will take about as long as eating supper.
mark together. It will be fun to use the same strategy for the countdown to the first day of school or their favorite holiday. Introduce a clock.
Put a digital clock in your child’s bedroom and explain that they have to stay in bed until the first number on the clock is seven. When you show them a clock that has hands, move the little hand to different hours, pausing at each number to mention their daily routine: Twelve o’clock—it’s time for lunch! Three o’clock—time to play outside! Your child will soon be associating numbers with activities, and time will become a more comfortable, rather than confusing, concept in their everyday life. Sources: Allison Kawa, Psy.D., a child psychologist in Los Angeles; Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness.
Use kid-friendly explanations.
Try describing when something occurs by linking it to a regular event in your child’s life. At midday, say, “It’s 11:30. That’s almost lunchtime.” For family movie night, tell them you’ll put the movie in at 7 p.m., which comes after dinner. Although children may be able to recite the days of the week in order, what they’re usually learning is a pattern, not that Saturday is two days after Thursday. To help your child tune in to the idea that seven days form a week, mention what day it is every morning: “It’s Monday, so that means you go to preschool today. Tomorrow will be Tuesday, so you will go to day care.” The more you do this, the more your kid will begin to understand the idea of time. Make it visual.
Your child will be better able to absorb the concept of time if they can actually see it. Kids this age relate well to sand timers. Tell your child, “In five minutes, it will be time for you to take a bath.” Then turn the timer over and follow through. Or if your child is eager for their birthday to arrive, buy or make a large calendar. Draw a balloon on the day of their birthday, and have your child cross off each day as it passes. The next time they ask how long until their big day (they will), you can count each X
5–6 YEARS
HOW TO
Deal With Reading and Writing Frustration by TA R A L U S T B E R G
Acknowledge their exasperation.
Learning to read and write can be a daunting experience for kids under normal circumstances. Limited school schedules, mask wearing, and tech issues can present challenges for any child, especially if this is their first formal classroom experience. As the end of the school year approaches, if you notice your child becoming increasingly frustrated about reading and writing, empathize with how they are feeling by saying, “I know this must be hard for you.” Talk specifically about what brought on the current outburst, and show support by telling them, “Let’s try to figure this out together.” Reassure your kid that the more they practice, the easier their schoolwork will become
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over time, and they shouldn’t be too hard on themselves. When kids know you’re in their corner and not standing in a place of judgment, it’ll help them feel calmer and more in control.
watermelons in the curtains or crayons in the rungs of a ladder. Making reading and writing seem less like work can ease a child’s anxiety and actually help them get better at it. Ask for help.
Make it more fun.
While your role as a parent may not be to teach the mechanics of reading and writing to your child—that’s the teacher’s job, which they’re good at and love to do—you can support your kid’s efforts by simply enjoying books together. Take the pressure off by reading one page of a book yourself and then having your child read a page. Choose stories that your child likes, and make up voices for each character. Or act them out, pretending to be the characters or using puppets or dolls. If your child is having difficulty learning to write, try combining drawing with writing. Have them sketch what they want to say, and then encourage them to label the picture or write a sentence on the page about their drawing. Use engaging workbooks like Kindergarten Big Fun Workbook, from Highlights Learning, where writing is interspersed with pages like “Bedtime Patterns,” in which kids get to find hidden objects such as
If you feel your child hasn’t made enough progress this year or you suspect that they may need specialized support, early diagnosis and intervention is key. Make note of patterns that concern you, and speak to your child’s teacher about getting some extra one-on-one help or practice materials. If the teacher agrees that there is a concern, they can recommend which steps to take, or they may suggest having your child evaluated. Understand that it won’t last forever.
This year has been unpredictable, but kids will eventually return to in-person classrooms. As long as the appropriate screening and intervention plans are in place to promote children’s academics, and schools provide proper social and emotional support, most kids will rebound when they return. Children are resilient, but they also need and deserve educators’ aid. Don’t forget to give your child an occasional high five for a job well done during these unsettling times (and yourself too). Sources: Parents advisor Patricia Edwards, Ph.D., professor of teacher education at Michigan State College of Education and author of New Ways to Engage Parents: Strategies and Tools for Teachers and Leaders, K–12; Parents advisor Jennifer Serravallo, author of Connecting With Students Online: Strategies for Remote Teaching and Learning.
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HOW TO
Encourage Gratitude by E M I LY E LV E R U
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Set a good example.
In addition to saying “please” and “thank you,” look for ways to express your own appreciation, even for things that seem ordinary. When driving together, share how grateful you are to have a safe car or
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that another driver let you merge onto a congested highway. Learn the name of the store clerk helping you, and thank them by name when you’ve finished checking out. If you and your kid are on a walk, mention that the temperature feels just right, how happy you are to be with them, and that the neighbor’s garden looks lovely. This may feel awkward at first, but it’s worth it: Studies have shown that gratitude can improve overall life satisfaction and protect against depression. It can also help both parents and kids meet challenges with more resilience and success. Keep your eyes peeled.
As kids get older, they may show their gratitude, even if they don’t verbalize it. If Grandma gives them a new sweater, they might just smile and say they will wear it, or put it on the next morning to show their friends at school. It’s normal for a child this age to express their thankfulness through excitement rather than an outward “thank you,” and it doesn’t mean they’re ungrateful or spoiled. You may certainly prompt your kid to say it, but let them know why you want them to do so: “It lets others know we appreciate that they thought of us.” Be calm, not critical.
If your kid demands that you give them a snack or help with a tough homework question “right now,” tell them that you’d like to honor their request if they can ask nicely. Most kids get used to this drill and will rephrase with only slight annoyance in their tone. Rather than end the exchange with a cursory “thank you,” take this golden opportunity to link their polite request with how positive and helpful it made you feel. Another useful routine: At dinner, have everyone share one thing that made them happy that day—perhaps their favorite lunch was served at school, they passed a test, or they started reading a really good book. Tell your child, “Thank you. I am grateful to you for sharing.” The more kids experience these kinds of interactions, the more they will understand the positivity of kindness and gratitude. Sources: Lauren Knickerbocker, Ph.D., a child and adolescent psychologist at NYU Langone Health, in New York City; Aden Moges, a licensed social worker and behavioral health clinical lead with Big Lots Behavioral Health Services at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, in Columbus, Ohio.
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HOW TO
Talk About Puberty by A D R I E N N E FA R R
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Know when to broach the topic.
Even though talking about puberty with your kid might feel uncomfortable initially, you shouldn’t wait any longer. “Normal” puberty can begin earlier than in generations past, and most tweens are experiencing at least some physical changes by now. Your kid is probably already trying to make sense of them on their own. It’s important to have a conversation about the changes they’ve noticed, how they feel about them, and what else they can expect. You may find it helpful to take a look at the detailed book It’s Perfectly Normal, by Robie H. Harris, and consider whether you’re comfortable having your tween read it. Don’t be embarrassed.
Ask your kid what they already understand about puberty, and be ready to dispel myths they may have learned from their peers. If they clam up, go ahead and calmly explain the facts. Try to engage your kid in many conversations over time. When you talk, be specific. Use medically correct language (penis, vagina, etc.). Explain that everyone goes through similar changes on different timelines, and that brains change as well as bodies. Voices deepen, hair grows under arms and in the pubic region, sweat increases, skin becomes oilier, and genitals increase in size. Be sure to explain how to properly clean their body now, and emphasize the importance of general health and wellness. Referring to body parts and not genders helps make this conversation more accessible for trans children and gives cis children a model for being inclusive of their trans peers. You can point out that puberty is a
normal part of the process of human development, and all of these changes relate to our adult bodies “coming online” as we grow up. Let them know that they can always come to you with any concerns.
Nurture good body vibes.
As your child progresses through puberty, there are bound to be moments that feel awkward. The uncertainty of adolescence is probably the hardest part to manage. Do your best to avoid judgment in every conversation. Offer to take them shopping for any products they need now. If you have a kid who won’t talk about any of it, just continue to initiate conversations regularly. The more often you do this, the more likely they’ll engage—eventually. Be sure they know that you’re there to answer any questions they may have. Sources: Parents advisor Antwon Chavis, M.D., assistant professor of pediatrics at Oregon Health & Science University, in Portland; Emmalinda MacLean, program director at More Than Sex-Ed, in Burbank, California; Parents advisor Cara Natterson, M.D., author of The Care and Keeping of You and the Guy Stuff series; KC Slack, sex educator at More Than Sex-Ed, in Burbank, California.
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Tinley, 9 My daughter said she wanted to plant a lollipop stick and grow a lollipop tree. I asked, “Do you live in a world of science or imagination?” She said, “I live in a world of confusion.”
Violet, 5 My daughter asked about belly buttons, so I said, “When you were growing in my belly, that’s where the umbilical cord was attached.” She asked, “That’s where I got charged up?”
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My son was reading Winniethe-Pooh and asked me, “Why is his middle name ‘the’?”
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My granddaughter was putting on her shoes. I said, “Wrong foot.” She said, “It’s not the wrong foot. It’s the wrong shoe.” Linda Wiley Hicksville, OH
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Luke, 3 When I was pregnant with his sister, my son asked why she wasn’t kicking. “She’s probably taking a nap,” I said. “Oh,” he asked, “does she have a couch in there?” Kelly Razzano Tallahassee, FL
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