relating

SWEATER + JEANS + FLATS

Ditch the sweats—this casual sweaterdenim combo is just as comfortable (and infinitely more pulled together).

BLOUSE + SKIRT + FLATS

On-trend loafer-style shoes add a little edge to this ladylike combo. Plus, they workequally well withtights and bare legs.

MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS IN A MODERN WORLD

5 WAYS TO HIT RESTART

By Sarah Robbins

1 When you haven’t exercised in forever

Coming back to aworkout routine afteryou’ve been away for awhile is always the hardest part. People often focus onwhat they can’t do, so I encourage them to take it one day at a time. I ask new clients about their lifestyle andwhat they’re afraid of. Most people think they’re inworse shape than they actually are. But ifyou break down a big goal into small increments—something as simple as doing one good squat—achieving it is not scary at all.

JOE GRILLO IS A PERSONAL TRAINING DIRECTOR AT LA FITNESS IN LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY.

2

When you crave a new career

Our impulsive culture promotes livingyour truth as quickly as possible. But beforeyou jump into a new career, take a practice jump. Ifyou’re an accountantwho has always wanted to start a bakery, for example,you can do a lot beforeyou quit your day job:You canwatch instructionalvideos online, spendyour evenings in pastry classes, shadow a local baker on theweekends.You’ll get a sense of the highs and lows and learn the nitty-gritty thatyou don’t see on social media. If the new lifestyle feels good, thenyou’ll know you’re ready to take the next step.

MIKE LEWIS IS THE AUTHOR OF WHEN TO JUMP: IF THE JOB YOU HAVEISN’T THE LIFE YOU WANT. HE LIVES IN SAN FRANCISCO.

3

When a friendship has fallen apart

We do things all the time to irritate our loved ones (usually not on purpose), and sometimes that can lead to a break.What matters is how we repair the situation. Ifyou’re the onewho dropped the ball, reach out: “It’s been so long. I feel like the breakwas my fault, and I’d like to repair it.” Or simply say, “I apologize.” (Don’t say, “I’m sorryyou feel thatway,”which is not a true apology.) Ifyou feelyou’ve beenwronged, say, “I missyou; Iwant to seeyou.” Meet in a public place,with clear time boundaries, and make the choice to forgive the other person. Be calm; if things get heated, just say, “Let’s come back to this another time.” Remember thatyou have control of only one thing: howyou act.

KIRSTEN LIND SEAL, PHD, IS A MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST. SHE LIVES IN MINNEAPOLIS. 4

When your vacation hits a major road bump

Once,whenwe arrived in Hanoi,Vietnam, whatwe thoughtwas our “official” taxi (itwasn’t!) dropped us off at a probably illegal hotelwith a namevery similar to that of the one I’d booked.Therewewere, in a dump, exhausted and saddledwith these big backpacks.We left the hotel and walked around the city sowe could put things in perspective.We got out the map and found the right hotel—we even stumbled across avibrant night market along theway. Ifyourvacation doesn’t start out right, stay calm, take back control, and figure out a new game plan.You can do this by seeking out a safe, neutral location ofyour own choosing (say, a cute coffee shopwithWi-Fi) and mapping out the next few steps needed to get back on track.

KELLY LACK IS A WRITER AND TRAVEL-INDUSTRY CONSULTANT IN SAN FRANCISCO. 5

When you’re just having a bad day

Take two minutes towrite avery brief, positive email to someone you know: a thank-you, a compliment, or an expression of deep appreciation. Itworks, for one, becauseyour mind simply can’t be in two places at once:You can’t be unhappy and stressed ifyou’re thinking about how gratefulyou are.Whenyou go back toyour bad day,your brain has one more positive piece of information aboutyour life, andyouwon’t feel the same slump. Plus,we know that the greatest predictor of longterm happiness is social connection, andyou’ve just spent two minutes thinking, “Whoa, look at this personwho cares about me and has contributed to my life in ameaningful way.”

MICHELLE GIELAN IS THE AUTHOR OF BROADCASTING HAPPINESS. SHE LIVES IN DALLAS.