RS - January 2019 by Lawrence Ambrocio

realsimple

GET GLOWY, PRETTY SKIN

LIFE MADE EASIER

H A P P Y N E W YE A R!

Start Fresh in 2019 Recipes with a Healthy Bonus Save Without Sacrifice Secrets to a Great Smelling Home Exercise Ideas for Busy People

JANUARY 2019

LOVE THE BEACH FALL FOR TRIPADVISOR’S #1 BEACH CLEARWATER BEACH

TAKE A SIP OF BEACHES BREW TOUR GULPCOAST.COM

GET SURREAL AT THE DALÍ MAGRITTE & DALÍ THROUGH MAY 19

Bask in the art of life. Say yes to TripAdvisor’s® #1 Beach in the U.S. in 2018. Indulge in inspiring accommodations and resplendent sunsets. Explore laid-back beach towns, world famous museums and four star restaurants. Welcome to the American Tropics.

VisitStPeteClearwater.com

FEEL THE ADRENALINE MEET THE STARS OF DOLPHIN TALE

GRAND PRIX OF ST. PETE CLEARWATER MARINE AQUARIUM

#LiveAmplified

Thoughts

“Books light the fire—whether it’s a book that’s already written, or an empty journal that needs to be filled in.”

STO C K SY

—MEG WOLITZER, Belzhar

2 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photograph by Carolyn Lagattuta

I will manifest the checking account

I was meant to have.

Be your own Yogi

E d i t o r ’s N o t e

T ’ S J A N U A R Y, that time when the holiday dust settles and you’re ready (or thinking about being ready) to tackle that messy drawer, chaotic closet, or pile of whatever. It probably seems doable—you’ve done it before, it’ll happen. But this month, I’m also thinking about a bigger challenge: the whole house clear out. Whether due to a move, a new living situation, or the death of a loved one, deciding what to keep and what to let go can be complex. I learned a little about this recently, when my parents moved out of their ranchstyle home of nearly 50 years. I found myself sitting on the same kitchen ﬂoor I had once crawled on as a baby, pondering whether to keep the large mixing bowl my mother and I made cookies in and the silver serving ware that I’m unlikely to use (and that she never used—were they Grandma’s? Is that an argument to keep or cull?). Meanwhile, what do my siblings want? The emotional energy it takes to negotiate everyone’s feelings and the ﬂood of forgotten memories, happy and sad, can frustrate or paralyze. It’s these sentiments and dilemmas that are at the heart of a wonderful article on page 80 by Steve Friedman, about one woman trying to balance her feelings about her late mother’s possessions with her mother’s wishes. In the process, she learns…well, I’ll let you read it and see what you think. January is a great time to declutter, to freshen up your home, to try new recipes, or to take some time to relax and feel cozy. I hope this issue will help you in all of those endeavors.

Follow me on Twitter @lyazel and Instagram @leslieyazel

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Photograph by Remi Pyrdol

WA R D R O B E S T Y L I N G B Y A L LY S S A D I N E E N ; H A I R A N D M A K E U P B Y S U M M E R T R A N

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REPAIRING HAIRCARE to help heal damage Blended with purpose. Bringing together lush honey, renowned for replenishment, with royal jelly & propolis extracts, known to nourish and repair. As a whole blend, it helps heal damage to the ends.

Contents January 2019

O N T H E C OV E R

TO BUY: Striped Marble Trivet, $35; jossandmain.com. Rosenthal Arzberg Profi Serving Bowl, $55; bedbathandbeyond .com. Ceramic vase (similar to shown), from $92; clamlab.com. Porcelain teapot (similar to shown), $50; ahalife.com. FLORALS: Cabbage roses, Helleborus, and Japanese anemones.

STA RT F R E S H I N 201 9 Recipes with a Healthy Bonus

Save Without Sacrifice

Secrets to a Great Smelling Home

Exercise Ideas for Busy People

10, 57

Get Glowy, Pretty Skin

Scents for the most inviting home

32, 36

Sneakily healthy breakfast ideas

Sorting through sentimental clutter

The comfiest clothes

C o v e r P h o t o g r a p h b y C h r i s t o p h e r Te s t a n i 6 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Prop St yling by Beth Flatley

Floral St yling by Livia Cetti

102

Look lit from within

Shrink your resolutions

Weeknight hits (pizza included)

Thoughts

the realist

relating

Editor’s Note

Real Simple 24 /7

How to Shovel Snow

5 Ways to Get What You Want (Nicely) Finagle better service, more attention, even a raise 40

Your Words

The Short List

what we love Upgraded Utilitarian Items Pretty Smart Beauty buys to save your sanity The Staple Toasted sesame oil

16 18

Little Helpers Clever items that make every day better 20 New Uses for Old Things What to do with your citrus peel 22

Cooking School Sharpen up your knife skills

Organize This Untangle your winter accessories 28 Now What?!? Solutions for life’s mini disasters

Real Simplifier Buy a new TV

9 Things Beauty Experts Wish You Were Doing Simple upgrades that make a difference 32 Road Test Lip treatments

Beauty Coach Master blush, bronzer, and highlighter 36 The Essential Style a puffer

Modern Manners Catherine Newman offers advice Good Read Bridgett M. Davis on learning to love her celebrity twin

Got a Worrywart? Strategies for coping with kids’ anxieties— and your own 52

balance Make This Your Year of the Tiny Resolution Rethink your health goals and you could see big results 57

Making It Work When do you get your best work done and why?

Your Plan for the Best Year at Work Do one thing a month for job happiness 64 Little Fixes That Could Save You $10,000 Plug the money leaks in your budget 66 Ahhh Take a breather

Comfort Zone Athleisure styles you can wear basically anywhere 96

food 5 Easy Dinners

102

Road Test Veggie burgers

107

Make It Yourself No-knead sandwich bread

108

Big Batch Fast Bolognese

110

The Struggle Is Real

112

features Breakfast (but Better) Start your morning the healthy way 72 The Year of Letting Go One woman confronts a life’s worth of stuff 80 Secrets of People Whose Houses Smell Amazing Freshen up all over

REAL SIMPLE (ISSN 1528-1701) (JANUARY 2019) (VOLUME 20/ISSUE 1) IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY TIME INC., A WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF MEREDITH CORPORATION. PRINCIPAL OFFICE: 225 LIBERTY ST., NEW YORK, NY 10281-1008. PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, NY, AND ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. POSTMASTER: SEND ALL UAA TO CFS (SEE DMM 507.1.5.2); NONPOSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: SEND ADDRESS CORRECTIONS TO REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE, PO BOX 37508, BOONE, IA 50037-0508. CANADA POST PUBLICATIONS MAIL AGREEMENT #40069223. BN# 13200211RT001. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. CUSTOMER SERVICE AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: FOR 24/7 SERVICE, PLEASE USE OUR WEBSITE: REALSIMPLE.COM/MYACCOUNT. YOU CAN ALSO CALL 1-800-881-1172 OR WRITE REAL SIMPLE, PO BOX 37508, BOONE, IA 50037-0508. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. YOUR BANK MAY PROVIDE UPDATES TO THE CARD INFORMATION WE HAVE ON FILE. YOU MAY OPT OUT OF THIS SERVICE AT ANY TIME.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Real Simple 24/7 FOLLOW US ONLINE FOR E XCLUSIVE IDE A S, TIP S, A N D W AY S T O M A K E L I F E E A S I E R — E V E RY D AY.

MEET

B R E N DA DA RG A N - L E V Y

TA K E C O N T RO L O F YO U R S PA C E

M A N AG I N G E D I TO R , COMMERCE

With easy, realistic strategies for every room, our new special issue, Organizing for the New Year, will help your family start 2019 with a clean slate.

Go-to recipe: Real Simple’s red lentil curry. It’s easy to make and so flavorful. Dream vacation: A trip to Scotland with my whole family. It’s where my parents are from, so it’s a special place.

@BDARGS ON INSTAGRAM

Decluttering central Double your storage space, read genius hacks from pro cleaners, and shop toprated cleaning supplies on our Real Organized page. Your tidy home will thank you. Get the tips at realsimple.com/real-organized.

#RSHOME Find and share tips for beautifying every space in your abode—from kitchens to coat closets—by scrolling through our #rshome hashtag on Instagram. It’s serious inspiration.

Fresh food finds PINTEREST @REALSIMPLE

Get great stuff at your local farmers’ market even in cold-weather months with our seasonal shopping tips. Watch the video at realsimple .com/farmersmarket.

8 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Open

and tap

for healthy recipes.

TWITTER @REALSIMPLE

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S N A P C H AT @REALSIMPLEMAG

I N S TA G R A M @ R E A L _S I M P L E

C L O C K W I S E F R O M T O P L E F T : C O U R T E S Y O F B O N N I E B U R K E A N D L A U R E N S L U S H E R ; M I C H A E L W I LT B A N K ; JOHNNY MILLER; GREG DUPREE; COURTESY OF RE AL SIMPLE.COM

What inspires me: My 3-year-old’s sweet dance moves. She really embraces the “like nobody’s watching” advice.

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Yo u r W o r d s

What strategy do you use to motivate yourself to exercise?

Never miss a Monday workout. Those endorphins keep me coming back to exercise the rest of the week. J E SS I C A C A M P B E L L , HENDERSON, KENTUCKY

I have to sign up for a race or an event. Having a goal a few months out motivates me to get moving in a way that working out just to “look better” doesn’t. Working out then becomes a part of my daily routine, and the by-products (looking and feeling healthier) happen naturally. ANNIE PAIGE, P ORTL AND, MAINE

I gave up all the exercises that I did to control my shape and that I hated doing and rediscovered tap dancing instead! It’s so fun, it connects me to my youth, and, best of all, I’m too busy dancing to think about calories. I put a gold star on my monthly calendar in my journal. I have a rewards system based on the number—10 workouts get me a manicure, 15 a new top, and 20 a dinner out. @JENAHR17

# R S L OV E

“ M AY A L L F LOW E R A R R A N G I N G AT T E M PTS B E A S S U C C E S S F U L A S T H I S O N E . ” @ A N N A LOV E S N E U T R A L S

I always keep a packed gym bag in my trunk so I have one less excuse not to sign up for a class during lunch or right after work. L AUREN GRAHAM, NASHVILLE

I find a really good book on tape that I can listen to only when I go for my walk. I sometimes end up going an extra block or two just to finish a chapter!

KRISTEN SCHER, P ORTL AND, OREGON

My husband and I do it together. We support each other and hold each other accountable. Plus, it’s the perfect time to decompress and talk! @DSEELEY0228

Signing up for classes that charge me if I cancel. @SPE ARLYY

SUE SOLOWCZUK , BRIGHTON, MICHIGAN

Finding a gym with childcare. It’s like a minivacation every time! J E SS I C A F L I C K I N G E R , A N C H O R AG E , A L A S K A

10 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

My four little grandchildren are my motivators. At 62, it’s important to maintain strength, flexibility, and stamina. I need to keep running with them, chasing them, getting down in the dirt with them, and by my actions, show them that it’s more fun and healthier to get out and play! SUSAN RO ONEY, ISLIP, NE W YORK

I put my yoga clothes on first thing in the morning, even if I won’t be going to the studio for another hour or two. It puts me in the mindset that it’s something I must do before I can move on to the rest of the day. KELLY MAS JOAN, SP OK ANE, WASHINGTON

On days that it’s especially hard to find motivation, I tell myself that I only need to run one mile, and if I’m still feeling unmotivated after that one mile, I give myself permission to stop. But usually I end up feeling so good that I keep going! The Instagrammers who shared the photos in this column will receive a copy of our special issue, Organizing for the New Year. Want to be considered for this column? Tag photos on Instagram with #RSLOVE.

@HL_BIRD

I pay for a trainer. Not only do I have a monetary investment, but I am also accountable to someone. Plus, the constant encouragement and support keep me going. K ATHY KUTZ , KIRTL AND HILL S, OHIO

As a mom of two young kids, it’s pretty much the only way I get to watch what I want on TV. I turn on the TV, lace up the shoes, and hit the treadmill during nap time. @BE THANYGRAY

Get a dependable workout buddy. CATHY SCHULER, CINCINNATI

I take a dance class. If I’m performing onstage with my classmates, I need to practice if I don’t want to let them down! @LE AHRACHELBECK

I got a new puppy and bought a Fitbit. Now I routinely walk between 4.5 and 6.5 miles per day!

# R S L OV E

“ S O M EO N E WA S A L I T T L E B I T D I S A P P O I N T E D TO B E F O U N D. ” @ F R A N K L I N _ A N D _ LO U I S A

NEXT QUESTION... What springtime activity makes you happiest? Send an email to yourwords@ realsimple.com and let us know your answer to this question. Your response could appear on these pages.

CAROL GAMMELL , TUL SA , OKL AHOMA

Remembering how powerful I feel during exercise. I do CrossFit, and it really reminds you how strong a person you can be, physically and mentally. CYRILL A ABISEID, FAYE T TEVILLE, ARK ANSAS

On Sunday, I plan out my exercises for the week ahead. I put them all in my calendar. That way it feels more like an appointment, and I can keep myself accountable. B O N N I E L E R N E R , P O RT L A N D, O R EG O N

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

The Short List F I V E B O O K S T H AT W O N ’ T D I S A P P O I N T By Elizabeth Sile

Family drama

Parenting guide

Clyde and Joy are raising their twin sons in impoverished, rural Trinidad. The boys could not be more different: Peter is academically gifted; Paul has always struggled. When Paul goes missing one night, his parents are faced with a tragic choice. Claire Adam’s provocative debut, Golden Child, highlights the painful sacrifices that poverty and violence can require and the pitfalls of ambition.

Just as she is about to become a mother, Jennifer Traig begins to wonder where the child-rearing advice she’d accepted at face value had even come from. In Act Natural, her informative deep dive into Western caretaking, Traig investigates the history of parenting manuals, nutrition, children’s literature, and more to show that, in the end, no one really knows the right way to raise a child. We’re all just doing the best we can.

Gripping memoir

In The Weight of a Piano, two women are linked by one instrument. Katya, a gifted young pianist living in the 1960s Soviet Union, loses her Blüthner piano when she immigrates to the U.S. Decades later, the Blüthner has come to be owned by Clara, a struggling mechanic who decides to sell it. Chris Cander masterfully reveals how these women’s lives connect (and how the piano came to be made) and, in the process, meditates on grief and living in the past.

Are dreams a window into the future or merely random thoughts? In Karen Thompson Walker’s The Dreamers, a small California college town is suddenly the site of a mysterious, rapidly spreading disease that causes victims to fall into a deep sleep. With mellifluous prose, Walker traces victims’ experiences (awake and asleep), along with how their family members, friends, and doctors respond to the crisis.

For more book recommendations, visit realsimple.com/ newbooks.

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

When Dani Shapiro sends a spit sample to AncestryDNA, she isn’t expecting revelation. Raised in an Orthodox Jewish family (a subject she has explored in other memoirs), Shapiro figured she knew where she came from. But when she finds out that her late father is not, in fact, her biological father, she’s left reeling. In Inheritance, Shapiro movingly reckons with identity and family secrets.

Musical saga

Great for book club

12 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

SAIL TO THE CARIBBEAN ON MSC SEASIDE WHERE OUR PASSION FOR FOOD CELEBRATES YOURS! You did your share of holiday entertaining, now it’s your turn to be the guest at our table. Pick out an exquisite prime steak from our glass-fronted fridge and watch it prepared to sizzling perfection before your eyes at Butcher’s Cut. Watch the crafty knife work at Roy Yamaguchi’s Teppanyaki Restaurant where the food is as dazzling as the show. Take your sweet tooth on a journey of indulgence in the chocolate, gelato and coffee corner. Choose from a sinfully scrumptious selection of decadent treats. Satisfy your taste for the finer things in life on MSC Seaside, with 5 spectacular specialty restaurants, sprawling buffets and international gourmet cuisine. Then enjoy après dining entertainment, stroll the widest boardwalk at sea and sip bubbly at the elegant Champagne Bar. Sit Back and Savor a Culinary Journey on MSC Seaside

Contact your Travel Advisor or call 844-298-5533 Visit msccruises.com

E V E RY T H I N G O U R E D I T O R S A R E B U Z Z I N G A B O U T T H I S M O N T H

CLEAN SWEEP More than just eye candy, this retro dustpan also boasts a wooden brush that nestles perfectly inside the handle for compact storage. TO BUY: Richman dustpan, $29; supergoodthing.com.

B R I N G A L I T T L E B E A U T Y T O E V E RY D AY TA S K S W I T H T H E S E U P G R A D E D U T I L I TA R I A N I T E M S. ( I S T H AT A T O I L E T B RU S H O R A W O R K O F A RT ? ) By Cat Dash

144 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

P R O P ST Y L I N G B Y M EG A N K I A N TO S ; S P I C E G R I N D E R : P E T E R A R D I TO ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

6 8

1 C H A RG E D U P The power strip gets a cool makeover with a hexagon-shaped wood form and a colored cord that makes it a cinch to find. TO BUY: Niko power strip, $95; mostmodest.com. 2 ON DUTY Add some street style to dog walking with this sleek poop-bag carrier, which features an easytwist top for fast reloading. TO BUY: Poop-bag carrier, $12; wildone.com.

3 SQUEAKY CLEAN This luxurious yet powerful toothbrush will make a ho-hum activity something you’ll actually want to do. TO BUY: Rose electric brush kit, $75; goby.co. 4 W O RT H Y W I C K E R Whether you’re hauling fresh produce or flea-market finds, schlepping your groceries has never been so chic. TO BUY: Olli Ella market cart, $135; food52.com.

5 DIY SPICES Feast your eyes on this porcelain spice grinder, which will give your cooking—and your kitchen’s style—a boost. TO BUY: The Spice Grinder, $35; wandpdesign.com. 6 QUIT PL ASTIC Give toilet accessories a Swedish touch with these substantial versions. TO BUY: Iris Hantverk concrete toilet accessories, from $68; hawkinsnewyork.com.

7 STEP IT UP This stunning, waterresistant step stool will give you reasons to reach for things on the top shelf. TO BUY: Teak step stool, $128; serenaandlily.com. 8 STREAMLINED S & P The opening is at the top of these clever sculptural grinders, so less salt ends up on your counter. TO BUY: Menu salt and pepper mills, $74 for set of 2; nannieinez.com.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Pretty Smart A CUSTOMIZ ABLE MOISTURIZER PLUS SE VEN O T H E R B E AU T Y B U Y S T O S AV E YO U R S A N I T Y By Heather Muir Maffei

CLINIQUE ID

Now you can build your dream moisturizer. Choose a jelly, a lotion, or an oil-free gel as your base, then pick an active concentrate cartridge (which clicks into the bottle) based on your main concern: irritation, pores and uneven texture, uneven skin tone, fatigue, or lines and wrinkles. Use morning and night. TO BUY: $39 each; clinique.com.

16 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

W H AT W E LO V E

P Y T B E AU T Y NO BS EYESHAD OW PA L E T T E

Found: a palette in which every shade gets used! This iPhone-size compact has four mattes and four shimmers (in shades ranging from office to out), with larger pans of the two colors you’ll use most. TO BUY: $28; pytbeauty.com.

P R O P ST Y L I N G B Y M EG A N K I A N TO S ; S M E A R : J E F F R E Y W E ST B R O O K ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

D RU N K E L E P H A N T A - PA S S I O N I RETINOL CREAM

All of the linesmoothing, brightening powers of retinol without the irritation, thanks to 1 percent vegan retinol and soothing oils. So gentle, you can wear it during the day (with SPF). TO BUY: $74; drunkelephant.com. A H AVA D E R M U D INTENSIVE FO OT CRE AM

Yes, this luxe (nongreasy) lotion hydrates tired soles with minerals from the Dead Sea, but the heel-softening magic happens thanks to exfoliating salicylic acid. TO BUY: $23; ahava.com. M Y RO D E O D O R A N T

You pick the color of your refillable case and the scent of this 99 percent natural, plant-based deodorant. It’s available as a subscription, so you get refills delivered every three months. TO BUY: $10; mymyro.com.

JERGENS BRILLIANCE F L AW L E S S E F F E C T S LOTION

Blur veins, redness, and spots on your arms, chest, and legs with this subtly blushtinted lotion, which will add a little pep to your step when you put on a dress (shea butter turns dry skin smooth). TO BUY: $12; amazon.com. MAKE UP FOR EVER U LT R A H D CONCEALER

In 22 shades, this medium-coverage concealer contains amino-acid-coated pigments that conform to skin, ensuring 12-hour crease-proof wear. TO BUY: $28; available in January at sephora.com. FOLL AIN X FRENCH G I R L O RGA N I C S E Y E O P E N I N G RO S E O I L

Its metal rollerball depuffs skin while depositing a glowing, line-plumping wakeup call for tired eyes. Tap it in with your ring finger. TO BUY: $42; follain.com. Watch our beauty director’s video demo on Instagram by going to realsimple.com/ prettysmart.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

W H AT W E LO V E

Quick Ideas

The Staple If you’ve been using toasted sesame oil solely for finishing dishes, it’s time to try it on more than noodles and rice. Just as toast offers more flavor than bread, toasted sesame oil (made from roasted sesame seeds) packs a richer flavor than the regular stuff. Whip it into a Caesar-inspired dressing, then drizzle it over grilled chicken or fish. Toss sturdy russet or sweet potatoes in salt, pepper, and sesame oil for steak fries you’ll put on regular rotation. And for a protein-packed snack, make a creamy, garlicky cannellini bean dip, delicious with crunchy fresh veggies or rice crackers.

1 CREAMY SESAME DRESSING

Process 1 egg yolk, 3 Tbsp. rice vinegar, 1 tsp. water, tsp. each Dijon mustard and kosher salt, and tsp. sugar in a blender. With blender running, drizzle in cup toasted sesame oil and cup canola oil in a slow, steady stream until emulsified, 1 minute. Drizzle over grilledchicken skewers. 2 SESAME STEAK FRIES

Cut 3 large russet potatoes lengthwise into -inch wedges. Place potatoes in a bowl, cover with water, and let stand 5 minutes. Drain and pat dry. Toss potatoes with 3 Tbsp. toasted sesame oil, 1 tsp. kosher salt, and 1 tsp. black pepper on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake at 400°F until brown and tender, 1 hour, stirring halfway. Drizzle with 2 Tbsp. sesame oil.

Heat 6 smashed garlic cloves, 6 Tbsp. toasted sesame oil, and tsp. crushed red pepper in a skillet over medium; cook until garlic is golden, 4 minutes. Process garlic mixture, 2 15-oz. cans drained cannellini beans, cup rice vinegar, 2 Tbsp. soy sauce, and 1 tsp. kosher salt in a food processor until smooth. Serve with crudités.

B y D a w n Pe r r y Recipes by Adam Hickman

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Photograph by Corey Olsen

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

3 SPICY WHITE BE AN AND SESAME DIP

W H AT W E LO V E

WINE KEY

This corkscrew has a silicone handle that fits comfortably in your hand. And its auger is grooved and coated with Teflon, making it easy to insert into the cork. TO BUY: Corkscrew by CapaBunga, $12; capabunga.com.

E VO LV I N G B O T T L E GREETING CARD KIT

Have a selection of 16 cards (from baby shower to birthday) at the ready with this handy set. Dividers let you organize cards by occasion or recipient. TO BUY: Starter kit greeting card organizer, $30; americangreetings.com.

Little Helpers S I X S M A RT P RO D U C T S

This stainless-steel essential allows kids to drink from it upright or tipped back. Additional lids (sold separately) let you transition from nipple to sippy bottle to straw to sport top as your child grows. Dishwasher safe. TO BUY: Pura Kiki 11-oz. Straw Bottle with Sleeve, $20; purastainless.com.

TO M A K E YO U R L I F E E A S I E R

PA I N T B RU S H S AV E R

Need to take a break from your painting? This plastic protector fits over your brush or roller and keeps it wet for up to one week. TO BUY: Paint Poncho Brush, $5 for a pack of 5, and Paint Poncho Roller, $6 for a pack of 5; paintponcho.com.

This 68-by24-inch mat is 2 millimeters thick and weighs only a pound. E RG O N O M I C M O U S E

Reduce forearm strain and wrist pressure with this device, which keeps your hand in a comfortable handshake position. Plug it into your computer or use with Bluetooth. TO BUY: Logitech MX Vertical Advanced Ergonomic Mouse, $100; logitech.com.

C O M PA C T YO G A M AT

This lightweight mat folds into a 10-by-12-inch square, so you can easily stow it in a gym bag or carryon. And its sticky texture provides stable footing. TO BUY: Gaiam Foldable Yoga Mat, $25; amazon.com.

20 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

PA I N T P O N C H O : P E T E R A R D I T O ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

By Brandi Broxson

Sleigh the Holidays

ONE OF OUR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF ITEMS.

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W H AT W E LO V E

New Uses for Old Things

Citrus Peels TA RT A N D C O LO R F U L F RU I T S A R E B O U N T I F U L T H I S T I M E O F Y E A R . A F T E R YO U ’ V E S Q U E E Z E D T H E J U I C E I N TO C O C K TA I L S O R CU T T H E F L E S H INTO SECTIONS, REPURPOSE THE RINDS WITH THESE SWEET HACKS. By Brandi Broxson

D E S S E RT B O W L

GARBAGEDISPOSAL CLEANER

Toss lemon, lime, or orange skins into the disposal before turning it on. The oils and juice from the peels will help clean and deodorize the inner walls.

B RO W N S U G A R S AV E R

Have a bag of hardened sweet stuff? Add an orange peel to soften it overnight or add a peel to new bags to prevent future hardening.

C O F F E E S TA I N , BEGONE

Ring around the mug? Rub the stain with the pithy side of a citrus peel for easy removal. Stubborn spot? Add a pinch of salt to the peel before scrubbing.

Learn how to put every part of a lemon— peel, zest, and juice— to good use at realsimple.com/ lemonuses.

22 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photographs by Corey Olsen

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

Use a knife to cut just through the peel at an orange’s equator and use your fingers to free the skin from the flesh, leaving two cups. Fill with a scoop of ice cream or fruit for a pretty presentation (and fast cleanup!).

OOOF!

From

aaah.

KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN

Eliminate the “ooof” of tough laundry odors and breathe in the clean with ARM & HAMMER™ plus OxiClean™ with Odor Blasters.

THE CLEAN YOU NEED AT A FRACTION OF THE COST.* *per load vs. the leading detergent.

U N C O M M O N S O L U T I O N S T O E V E RY D AY P RO B L E M S

R AY M O N D F O R B E S L L C / S T O C K S Y

H OW TO S H OV E L S N OW

Snow days may have surprising health benefits. See how at realsimple.com/ snowdays.

Try to shovel every time a few inches accumulate, making sure you stretch and hydrate well before you begin, says Jim Hewitt, a Home Depot assistant manager in Madison, Wisconsin. Choose a shovel with a handle long enough to reduce back bending, and to prevent overexertion, opt for a shovel head that’s not too large. Hewitt recommends the True Temper Ergonomic Mountain Mover snow shovel ($31; homedepot.com). To reduce strain when you’re shoveling, push the snow away from you rather than lifting it, says Mike Holmes, a professional contractor and host of DIY Network’s Holmes and Holmes. If you must lift, keep the shovel blade close to you, bend your knees, and avoid a twisting or tossing motion. Alternate your hands every 5 to 10 minutes, taking frequent breaks. By Brandi Broxson

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

THE REALIST

Cooking School M O S T K I T C H E N TA S K S C A N B E TA C K L E D W I T H J U S T T H R E E E S S E N T I A L K N I V E S . L E A R N W H AT T H E Y A R E , W H AT T H E Y D O, A N D H O W T O C H O P L I K E A P R O. By D awn Perr y

CHEF’S KNIFE

PARING KNIFE

SERR ATED KNIFE

Chopped

There’s no need to spend a fortune on an expensive blade. The most important thing about your all-purpose knife is that it feels comfortable in your hands and you keep it sharp. We like a medium- to light-weight version with a thin 8-inch blade. Use it for slicing, dicing, and all your everyday prep. TO BUY: Schmidt Brothers 8-inch chef knife, $70; amazon.com.

Use this tiny multitasker to “pare” down bigger items and for all your detail work—hulling strawberries, peeling cooked beets, trimming mushroom stems—as well as in-hand jobs like slicing bananas, scoring avocados, and segmenting citrus. It also works great for loosening cakes and testing them for doneness. TO BUY: Victorinox 3 inch paring knife set, $25 for 4; amazon.com.

A must-have for slicing through crusty bread, this knife has tiny teeth that handle tender items, like ripe tomatoes and fragile layer cakes, with care. Look for one with an offset blade, which makes it easy to cut loaves without dragging your knuckles across the cutting board. TO BUY: F. Dick Pro-Dynamic offset serrated knife, $27; amazon.com.

Think to 1 inch; anything bigger will likely be specified.

H O W TO H O L D A K N I F E

M O R E F RO M OUR KITCHEN Find videos, lessons, shortcuts, and strategies to help you get dinner (and breakfast, and lunch, and dessert) on the table with ease at realsimple.com/ cookingschool.

26 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

For better balance and control, give this grip a go: Hold the knife’s handle with your dominant hand. Wrap your bottom three fingers around the handle and place your index finger and thumb on either side of the blade, just in front of the bolster (that’s the protective base of the blade). Hold firmly, but not too tight.

Finely Chopped As small as possible— inch or smaller—for herbs, garlic, or ginger.

Sliced About inch; thicker should be specified (e.g., 1-inch wedges).

Thinly Sliced As thin as possible— around -inch thick.

Illustrations by Adam Cruft

Mix it up Put a twist on familiar favorites. Think turmeric-grilled chicken. Dinnertime has changed. Our quality hasn’t.

Recipes at ReynoldsKitchens.com/MealPrep

THE REALIST

Organizing Challenge

Winter Accessories S W E A T E R W E A T H E R H A S A R R I V E D ! A N D A L S O H A T, S C A R F, G L O V E , A N D W H E R E ’ S -T H AT- M I SS I N G - M I T T E N W E AT H E R . W E A S K E D F I V E E X P E RT O RGA N I Z E R S F O R T H E I R FAV O R I T E S T O R A G E S O LU T I O N S T O W R A N G L E I T A L L . B y Ta m a r a K r a u s

1 G E T V E RT I C A L

If you live in cramped quarters, a leaning ladder secured to the wall maximizes unused wall space without taking up too much real estate on the floor, suggest Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin, cofounders of the Home Edit. Detachable baskets create a drop spot for neat stacks of folded scarves and other small accessories, like gloves and hats. With empty rungs at the top, there’s plenty of space to drape coats and scarves. Rustic ladder with wire baskets, $209; shadesoflight.com.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

TO BUY:

28 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photographs by Br yan Gardner

2 GR AB AND GO

Think outside the bin when it comes to the tools you use to organize. Give a traditional shoe organizer new life by transforming it into space-saving storage for grab-and-go items on the back of a door, says Jamie Hord of Horderly Professional Organizing. Reserve the lower pockets for kids’ supplies to keep them within easy reach. The clear pockets make it easy to spot what you need in a flash. TO BUY:

24-pocket over-the-door shoe bag, $11; containerstore.com.

3 PERSONALIZE IT

4 SECTION IT OFF

If you don’t have a coat closet, Beth Penn, a professional organizer and the founder of Bneato Bar, recommends enlisting sectioned bins to keep gloves and hand warmers separate from hats and scarves. Tuck the container beneath an entryway table or bench to keep the items easily accessible as you dash out the door.

To avoid any mix-ups, designate a basket for each family member, says Ashley Murphy of Neat Method. Affix a label to the front of the baskets and stash them near the entrance you use most frequently. Small mocha water-hyacinth storage bins, $10, and white bin clip labels, $10 for 3; containerstore.com.

TO BUY:

TO BUY: Rubbermaid small Bento storage box, $20; amazon.com.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

THE REALIST

Now What?!? S M A RT F I X E S F O R L I F E ’ S L I T T L E D I S A ST E R S By Nora Hor vath

I can never remember computer passwords.

Take slow, deep breaths, fully expanding your belly and lungs and extending your exhale for two to four counts longer than your inhale, says Julia Vigna Bosson, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and flight-anxiety expert at Union Square Practice in New York City. Diaphragmatic breathing can quell the body’s physiological responses to fear and anxiety. Think twice about distracting yourself by playing loud music or drinking alcohol, as confronting your worry may reduce your anxiety over time. While you might feel less turbulence in the front of the plane, Bosson recommends also writing a note in your phone with thoughts like, “Turbulence is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous.” This “coping card” will help restructure your worried thoughts, because the way we think about things can change the way we feel about them.

THE FIX:

My nose bleeds in the winter. Pinch your nose and tilt your head forward, holding your nostrils for 10 minutes or until the bleeding stops, says Neha Vyas, MD, a family physician at Cleveland Clinic. Placing an ice pack on the bridge of the nose can also stop the bleeding. If you’re prone to seasonal nosebleeds, carry a nasal spray like Afrin ($8 for 0.5 oz.; cvs.com), which can help slow them. Dry winter air is rough on the mucous membranes, so moisturize them by running a cool-mist humidifier in your home. Putting a dab of petroleum jelly on a cotton swab and coating the inside of the nostrils can act as a barrier, preventing further bleeds too, says Vyas. If you have constant nosebleeds or find them hard to stop once they start, see a doctor to rule out a different cause, like high blood pressure.

THE FIX:

30 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

G O O D M O O D P H OTO / A D O B E STO C K

There’s turbulence on the plane.

THE FIX: Use a reputable third-party passwordmanagement tool that generates secure, random passwords and notifies you when it’s time to change them, says Derek Meister, a Geek Squad agent with Best Buy from the Cleveland area. These services will auto-fill your passwords with one click and can be accessed across all your devices through an app. Meister recommends services like Dashlane ($60 per year), Keeper ($30 per year), and RoboForm ($24 per year). If you want to generate your own password, be sure you’re diversifying with a mix of numbers, special characters, and letters in uppercase and lowercase, aiming for a minimum of eight characters and avoiding easy-tocrack info like your birth date, says Meister.

THE REALIST

Real Simplifier

How to Buy a TV S I Z E, CO LO R, CO N T R A ST—W H E R E D O YO U B EG I N? FO L LOW O U R F I V E - S T E P G U I D E T O B U Y T H E R I G H T S E T F O R Y O U R FA M I LY. By Kathleen M. Harris

DETERMINE A SIZE

INVEST IN 4K T E C H N O L O GY

VIEW EFFECTS IN PERSON

M AT C H F E AT U R E S TO HABITS

SCORE A GO OD DEAL

Most flat-screens are high-definition (HD), but 4K (also known as ultra-high-definition, or UHD) is quickly becoming the standard. And for good reason: 4K has four times as many pixels as 1080p HD, which means more detail (like a drop of sweat on a baseball player), says Klesmith. As for curved screens? They’re good in certain situations, but in general, skip them, says Robert Wisniewski, owner of SFElectronics .biz, an online electronics retailer. Flat-screens have a better overall picture quality.

If you’re going with a 4K TV, high dynamic range (HDR) is a feature worth investing in, says Peter Fingado, owner of Sounding Board in Waldwick, New Jersey. HDR is a contrast and color range that can display about 1 billion colors and makes the 4K pixels clearer and super-realistic. Go to a store to see if you like the look, as a common complaint is that new screens project a tooreal feel. To adjust it, ask if there’s a motionsmoothing setting.

Movie buffs should look for TVs with OLED, short for organic light-emitting diode. Most TVs have LED screens, which means the picture may be brighter, but in OLED the pixels are selfilluminating, which gives you the best color contrast possible, says Klesmith. Big on live sports? Focus on the TV’s processor speed and refresh rate. “The higher the number, the faster the picture loads,” says Klesmith. Watching in a room with bright lights and windows? Opt for a TV with a glareresistant screen, rather than a glossy one.

Here’s a simple formula to figure out how big to go: Measure the distance from the seat of your sofa to the wall in inches and divide that by three, says Nidhi Kapur, founder and CEO of Maiden Home, a direct-to-consumer custom-furniture brand. For example, if you’re sitting 10 feet away, divide 120 (10 feet times 12 inches) by 3, and the recommended size is 40 inches. That said, in rooms with high ceilings or large expanses of wall, you can get away with (and will want) a larger screen, says Hannah Klesmith, a Best Buy in-home adviser based in central Wisconsin.

Illustration by Babeth Lafon

January and February are great months to shop for a new TV because of Super Bowl discounts, says Sara Skirboll, shopping and trends expert for RetailMeNot. Also, new TVs hit the market in March or April, so last year’s models will be heavily discounted to make room for the new inventory, she adds. Extended warranty? Decline it. Most manufacturer warranties cover malfunctions caused by internal defects for a year. Your credit card company may also offer purchase protection.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

9 Things Beauty Experts Wish You Were Doing M AY B E Y O U D O N ’ T WA N T T O O V E R H A U L Y O U R W H O L E R O U T I N E , B U T YO U A R E I T C H I N G F O R A N U P DAT E . T O P B E AU T Y P RO S W E I G H I N O N A F E W S M A L L T W E A K S T H AT M A K E A B I G D I F F E R E N C E . By Heather Muir Maffei

SET YOUR SKIN.

After applying your base (concealer, foundation, or tinted moisturizer), lightly press clean fingertips into your skin. Doing so lifts away excess product so your makeup looks less thick and lasts longer. Pay attention to crease-prone areas where makeup gathers throughout the day, including around the eyes, nose, and mouth. If your skin tends to get oily, press a little powder on those spots with a brush. —Makeup artist Katie Jane Hughes

32 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

P h o t o g r a p h b y M e i Ta o

H A I R A N D M A K E U P B Y T R O I O L L I V I E R R E B E A U T Y. M A K E U P S M E A R S , C L O C K W I S E F R O M F A R T O P R I G H T : J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K ; B R I A N H E N N ( 3 )

THE REALIST

2 STOP OVERCLEANSING. I always tell my patients to wash their face at

night (and after exercising) and simply rinse with water in the morning to avoid stripping the skin. And instead of rubbing your skin on a towel, use a patting motion, which is gentler. —Dermatologist Doris Day, MD

6 3 USE LIP LINER. Although it tends to get a bad rap, when used correctly, liner creates the effect of fuller lips and can reshape any asymmetrical unevenness. Plus, the wax and oil work as a stencil, ensuring that your lip color lasts. —Makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury

USE A HUMIDIFIER. You know it’s good for your skin, but it’s great for your hair too. Having one helps prevent breakage, makes hair easier to detangle and style, and makes it less static-y, dull, and flat. —Hairstylist Jillian Halouska

5 DRY HAIR SMARTER. Use a

cotton T-shirt instead of a traditional terry cloth towel to dry your hair. It preserves moisture and reduces frizz. —Hairstylist Jen Atkin

TAKE CARE OF YOUR SCALP. Using a scalp serum will help strengthen the hair fiber starting at the roots so you can achieve healthy hair. To help speed up hair growth, consider taking biotin or a vitamin B complex with biotin. —Hairstylist Jennifer Yepez

7 STOP USING A NON-SUNSCREEN MOISTURIZER UNDER OR OVER YOUR SUNSCREEN. Doing this may interfere

with the effectiveness of your sun protection by diluting your sunscreen. As the last step in your skin-care routine, apply a sunscreen with SPF 30 or higher. Most are formulated with the same type of ingredients as moisturizers by using emollients. —Aesthetician Renée Rouleau

WEAR FOUNDATION. I like to educate my clients to think of makeup as a skin-care product because during daylight hours it can help protect your skin from ultraviolet light and environmental damage. Most forms of liquid or powder foundations contain ingredients like titanium dioxide that can act as natural sun protectants. Even if your makeup doesn’t indicate that it has SPF, it is still helping to guard your skin against the sun’s damaging rays. Of course, you still need to wear and reapply sunscreen daily, but this is a bonus. The number one cause of premature wrinkles is not from age, genetics, or even smoking. It’s from incidental UV exposure. —Rouleau

MAKE TIME FOR AN EYE DOCTOR APPOINTMENT. Undereye lines and wrinkles are typically the first signs of aging. My clients tend to first notice them around their late twenties and early thirties. To keep your skin healthy, avoid unnecessary squinting, which is often caused by blurry vision. Squinting can also weaken the elastin fibers around the eyes. So schedule that checkup to find out if you need glasses or contacts. —Rouleau

THE REALIST

R o a d Te s t

Lip Treatments BEST OIL

A R M YO U R S E L F W I T H O N E O F T H E S E SIX WINNERS (OUT OF 50 TESTED), AND WINTER WILL NEVER SUCK THE LIFE O U T O F YO U R L I P S AG A I N . M WA H ! By Anneke Knot

ChapStick Total Hydration Vitamin Enriched Lip Oil in Sweet Nectar This nonsticky oil feels luxurious but costs only five bucks. Vitamins E and C and omegas melt into lips for a shot of moisture. TO BUY: $5 each; target.com.

BEST BALM

Vaseline Lip Therapy Lip Tin Made from the original wonder jelly (a 140-year cult-classic formula), this nongreasy balm soothes cracked lips (and other dry patches). TO BUY: $4; cvs.com.

B E S T S C RU B

BEST PRIMER

realsimple ROAD TE ST BEST MASK BEST TINTED

Fresh Sugar Tinted Lip Treatment Sunscreen SPF 15 in Orchid When you want both color and care, swipe on this delightful tinted balm, which comes in 18 shades. Nourishing meadowfoam and black currant seed oils, antioxidant grape-seed oil, and moisturizing sugar leave lips supple and smooth. Apply one coat for a sheer veil of color or layer a few for a bolder pop. The bright pink shade pictured (Orchid) comes out next month. TO BUY: $24; sephora.com.

34 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Mamonde Lip Sleeping Mask Lips lose moisture overnight, so before bed, slick on this murumuru and shea butter cream—it’s like a hug for your lips, undoing the damage from the day. TO BUY: $14; ulta.com.

Sara Happ Plump and Prime Lip Airbrush Wear alone for a pretty neutral or layer it under your lip color. Microspheres fill in any crevices so lips look smoother and fuller. TO BUY: $28; sarahapp.com.

S M E A R : J O N PAT E R S O N ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

Burt’s Bees Natural Conditioning Lip Scrub Applying lipstick over chapped lips is the pits. Keep lips smooth by rubbing on this honeycrystal and beeswax scrub. Store it in the shower for no mess. TO BUY: $9; target.com.

“Even more choices? This bladder leak underwear just keeps getting better.”

NEW

SIZE

NEW

COLOR

Depend Silhouette

Always Discreet Boutique

THE REALIST

Beauty Coach

Get an Ideal Glow NOT QUITE SURE WHERE TO AIM YO U R B RU S H ? T H E S E T R I C K S G UA R A N T E E A J U S T - R I G H T, S U B T L E F L U S H . By Lisa D eSantis

You’ll need blush, bronzer, and highlighter—It Cosmetics Your Most Beautiful You Anti-Aging Face Palette ($38; ulta.com) has all three shades in one. First, swirl a brush into the blush, then tap off the excess. Smile to find the apples of your cheeks, then sweep on the color, moving up toward your hairline (envision a Nike swoosh).

Highlighter adds a sophisticated pop of shimmer that catches the light. Lightly dust it on in the shape of a C around your eye. Begin just above your brow, continuing along your temple and ending on the top of your cheekbone. Repeat on the opposite side. Not into shimmer? You can just skip this step.

36 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

2 Dip the same brush into the matte bronzer. Make Up For Ever Artisan Brush No. 158 ($53; sephora.com) has a fluffy end for blush and bronzer and a denser end for highlighter. On each side, starting in the center of your forehead near your hairline, trace a number 3, hitting the temples, hollows of the cheeks, and jawline.

Watch our beauty experts apply blush and bronzer and share their tips and tricks at realsimple.com/beautycoach.

P h o t o g r a p h b y M e i Ta o

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

S T Y L I N G B Y S H E L L E Y Y O U N G AT S A R A H L A I R D & G O O D C O M PA N Y ; H A I R B Y H E R V É F O R D AV I N E S AT S A R A H L A I R D & G O O D C O M PA N Y ; M A K E U P B Y M O A N I L E E ; P R O C E S S S H OTS B Y J E R RY L E U ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

THE REALIST

The Essential T H AT B A S I C H A N G I N G I N YO U R C L O S E T I S M O R E V E R S AT I L E T H A N YO U T H I N K . T H I S M O N T H: H OW TO W E A R YO U R P U FF E R JAC K E T FO R A N Y O CC A S I O N By Flavia Nunez S TA RT W I T H THE PUFFER... TO BUY: Women

. . . A D D A W H I T E S H I RT A N D JA C Q UA R D PA N T S

This casual staple adds texture and surprise to a colorful printed pant and modern statement necklace. TO BUY: AYR the Easy shirt, $125; ayr.com. Loft Jacquard pant, $90; loft.com. The 9th Muse Ann earrings, $116; the9thmuse.com. Vince Camuto Gold Flare Jeweled Ridged necklace, $78; vincecamuto.com. Talbots Soft Pebble Bucket bag, $119; talbots.com. Sarto Franco Sarto flats, $129; nordstrom.com.

38 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

. . . A D D A P L A I D C OAT

. . . A D D A M I D I S K I RT A N D JA C K E T

When it’s f-f-f-freezing but you’re sick of your Michelin Man ski jacket, layer a puffer under a funnel-neck coat. Fashion and function! TO BUY: 525 America Ribbed turtleneck, $82; 525america .com. Lands’ End Mid Rise Straight Leg Corduroy pants, $60; landsend.com. Banana Republic Fuzzy Plaid Cocoon coat, $299; bananarepublic.com. Krochet Kids Intl. the Mattie beanie, $45; krochetkids.org. Keds Match Point sneakers, $75; keds.com.

To pair a puffer with a fancier look, put a tailored blazer on top, then add ladylike pieces, such as a pleated skirt and ruffled-ankle boots. TO BUY: Milly Shirred Side Shell top, $285; milly.com. 1.State Fine Puppytooth Pleated midi skirt, $99; nordstrom.com. Marciano Los Angeles Blanc Lux jacket, $278; marciano.com. Lizzie Fortunato Fresco earrings, $220; saksfifthavenue.com. ASH Dafne boots, $320; ash.com.

P h o t o g r a p h s b y Ke v i n S w e e n e y

S O F T S T Y L I N G B Y A L E X S I LVA AT B E R N S T E I N & A N D R I U L L I

Ultra Light Down Compact jacket, $60; uniqlo.com.

Model treated with JUVÉDERM VOLUMA® XC in the cheeks, JUVÉDERM® XC in the lines around the nose and mouth, and JUVÉDERM® Ultra XC in the lips. Results may vary.

LIFT IT SMOOTH IT PLUMP IT CHEEKS • JUVÉDERM VOLUMA® XC

LINES • JUVÉDERM ® XC

LIPS • JUVÉDERM ® Ultra XC

JUVÉDERM IT ®

Let JUVÉDERM® injectable gel fillers help you get the results you want.* FIND YOUR AESTHETIC SPECIALIST AT JUVEDERM.COM

APPROVED USES JUVÉDERM VOLUMA® XC injectable gel is for deep injection in the cheek area to correct age-related volume loss in adults over 21. JUVÉDERM® XC injectable gel is for injection into the facial tissue for the correction of moderate to severe facial wrinkles and folds, such as nasolabial folds. JUVÉDERM® Ultra XC is for injection into the lips and perioral area for lip augmentation in adults over 21.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Do not use if you have a history of severe allergies/allergic reactions, or are allergic to lidocaine or gram-positive bacterial proteins used to make these products. The safety of use while pregnant or breastfeeding has not been studied. The safety for use in patients with excessive scarring or pigmentation disorders has not been studied and may result in additional scars or pigmentation changes. Unintentional injection into a blood vessel can occur and, while rare, could result in serious complications which may be permanent. These include vision abnormalities, blindness, stroke, temporary scabs, or permanent scarring. Tell your doctor if you are on

medications to decrease the body’s immune response or prolong bleeding, such as aspirin, ibuprofen, or blood thinners. There is a risk of infection from skin injection procedures. The most common side effects include tenderness, swelling, firmness, lumps/bumps, bruising, pain, redness, discoloration, and itching. Most JUVÉDERM® XC side effects were mild or moderate, and lasted 7 days or less. Most JUVÉDERM® Ultra XC side effects were mild or moderate, and lasted 14 days or less. Most JUVÉDERM VOLUMA® XC side effects were moderate and lasted 2 to 4 weeks. To report a side effect, please call Allergan Product Surveillance at 1-800-624-4261. For more information, please see Juvederm.com or call Allergan Medical Information at 1-800-433-8871. Available by prescription only. *With optimal treatment. ©2018 Allergan. All rights reserved. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. JUV117757 10/18

MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS IN A MODERN WORLD

5 Ways to Get What You Want (Nicely) WE’RE ALL FOR SELFLESSNESS, BUT S O M E T I M E S YO U N E E D T O TA K E AC T I O N T O D R I V E T O WA R D C H A N G E . L E A R N TO D O IT WITHOUT MAKING ENEMIES.

STO C K SY

By Jerisha Parker Gordon

40 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photograph by Catherine MacBride

Pay attention to get attention. It’s OK to want the spotlight sometimes, but the way to go about it is not by hogging the attention in the room. It’s the opposite. Be curious about people; don’t just wait for your opportunity to talk. In improv, we look for ways to do something unexpected. This doesn’t have to be wacky: Think about a phrase you always say—and stop saying it. The next time someone asks how you’re doing, pick a new phrase, even just, “I’m doing fantastic today. How about you?” Simply changing a phrase you say out of habit can push you out of your comfort zone.

Make eye contact. People are so attached to their devices that we on the ﬂight crew have no interaction with them until they have a problem. If someone actually says hello and looks me in the eyes while they board the plane, it’s a big deal, and I will remember that person—where they’re seated, what they’re drinking. It makes me want to go out of my way for them. And if I see a passenger helping another passenger, I’m like, “Extra snack for you!” If an issue arises with someone’s seat or connecting ﬂight, I’m more motivated to go above and beyond for someone who was kind and polite to me and their fellow passengers. HE ATHER P OOLE IS THE AUTHOR OF CRUISING AT T I TUDE: TALES OF CRASHPADS, CREW DRAMA , AND CRAZY PAS SENGERS AT 35,000 FEET. SHE LIVES IN LOS ANGELES.

DAN O’CONNOR IS A COAUTHOR, ALONG WITH JEFF K ATZMAN, MD, OF L IFE UNSCRIPTED: USING IMPROV PRINCIPLES TO GET UNSTUCK , BO OST C ONF IDENCE, AND TRANSFORM YOUR L IFE. HE LIVES IN LOS ANGELES.

Don’t wait for someone to read your mind. 5

When it comes to negotiating on the job, ask! It’s often as simple as that: If you don’t ask, you won’t get. If you’re waiting for someone to recognize and reward you, it won’t necessarily happen when you need it to. Of course, the most successful negotiators also become indispensable to their organization so that its loss of you would be greater than just having to replace you. Make sure you have a lot of capital in the organization, be clear on what you’re willing to give, then ask and make it a win-win. STEPHANIE GOETSCH IS A PROFES SIONALDEVELOPMENT E XPERT BASED IN WAUSAU, WISCONSIN.

Know the rules. If you want to ﬁght on your child’s behalf for something that goes against school board policy, the answer is going to be no 100 percent of the time. But if you’re advocating a better process that impacts your child and could benefit other students, there is more opportunity for discussion. Remember that the focus should be on the student, and come with a good attitude, good documentation, and credible reasons about why a policy that impacts your child needs to be discussed. We do our best to meet the needs of all our students, and while there are limits to what we can do, you will be heard.

Call for backup. In my four years on the San Antonio City Council and ﬁve years as mayor, I interacted with many constituents with varying issues and interests. When I was a policy maker, it was most effective for me when citizens were positive and constructive and when they provided possible solutions instead of just telling me about problems. Paint the picture for your elected official of what your desired change would look like. Then build your numbers. The more folks rallying for your concern or cause, the better—you’ll weigh more heavily on the mind of your elected official. It’s true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Be persistent. It’s wonderful to be living in a time of a resurgence in citizen activism. Being engaged, voting, and taking your concerns directly to your elected officials really can make a difference. JULIÁN CASTRO IS A FORMER U.S. SECRETARY OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT AND THE AUTHOR OF AN UNL IKELY JOURNEY: WAK ING UP FROM MY AMERICAN DRE AM. HE LIVES IN SAN ANTONIO.

DAVE MAFFEI IS A HIGH SCHO OL AS SISTANT PRINCIPAL IN DUTCHES S COUNT Y, NE W YORK .

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Frank Lee’s Shrimp and Grits

Cuisine built on creativity. Experience a South Carolina dish that’s as versatile as it is delicious, learn the recipe from one of the Palmetto State’s most renowned chefs and taste how local ingredients can truly elevate a dish. Try your hand at this tasty Southern tradition, and come to find that shrimp and grits is a plate full of mouthwatering possibilities.

DiscoverSouthCarolina.com/Recipes

Frank Lee is one of South Carolina’s most renowned chefs.

Hailing from the Holy City, Charleston, Chef Frank Lee is one of the culinary pioneers who helped grow shrimp and grits into the savory sensation it is today. Lee served as head chef for more than 20 years at one of Hall Management Group’s premier restaurants, Slightly North of Broad. From the uniquely sweet salt creek shrimp of the Lowcountry to stone-ground grits and homemade kielbasa sausage, he has all the ingredients he needs to make shrimp and grits, the most popular item on the menu.

The shrimp stock brings all the f lavors together to perfect the dish.

Local Geechie Boy Mill grits are coarse ground with an authentic millstone.

Try your hand at this Southern delicacy with the recipe below and watch Chef Lee prepare it himself at DiscoverSouthCarolina.com.

Recipe

How It’s Done

Grits

Make the grits Bring water, salt and 1 tablespoon of butter to a boil. Stir in grits. Reduce heat to low and cook, covered, stirring occasionally until grits are thick and creamy. After about 40 minutes, remove from heat and ﬁnish by stirring in cream and the remaining butter. Keep warm until ready to serve.

3½ cups water ½ teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons butter 1 cup stone-ground grits ¼ cup cream

Shrimp Stock Tools needed: 2-gallon pot, ﬁne chinois Yield: 4 cups 4 cups shrimp shells (2 pounds shrimp) ½ cup olive oil 1 cup onion, medium diced 1 cup carrot, medium diced ½ cup celery, medium diced 1 teaspoon fennel seed 1 cup fresh tomato, medium diced 2 tablespoons garlic 4½ cups water

Remaining Ingredients 4 ounces country ham, julienned 4 ounces kielbasa sausage 2 tablespoons butter 20 shrimp, peeled and deveined 1 teaspoon garlic, minced 2 teaspoons Cajun spice 1 cup fresh tomato, peeled, seeded and medium diced 1 cup green onion 2-3 ounces shrimp stock

Make the stock Toast the shrimp shells in olive oil in the 2-gallon pot until pink and fragrant. Add the onion, carrot, celery and fennel seed and cook without burning until the vegetables relax, giving up some of their rigidity. Add the tomato and garlic and cook for 5 minutes. Add the water, bring to a boil, skim and simmer for 30 minutes. Strain through a fine chinois. If you can get local shrimp with the heads on, use them! The heads are where most of the flavor is. Add the remaining ingredients Brown the ham and sausage with 1 tablespoon of butter. Add the shrimp, garlic and Cajun spice, and saute without burning the spice (2 minutes). Add the tomatoes and green onion, continuing to saute until the tomato renders some juice. Moisten with the shrimp stock and bring to a bubble (not a boil), and finish with butter. Serve over the creamy grits. For more delicious recipes courtesy of chef Frank Lee, be sure to pick up a copy of his book “The S.N.O.B. Experience: Slightly North of Broad.”

R E L AT I N G

Modern Manners R E A L S I M P L E ’ S E T I Q U E T T E E X P E R T, C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N , O F F E R S HER BEST ADVICE ON YO U R S O C I A L Q UA N DA R I E S.

L . D. A S K S …

My sister-in-law and her husband have strange ideas about hosting parties. They’ll request that everyone bring their own alcoholic beverages and have even gone as far as to ask that we bring our own meat plus a side dish to share. This is never the case at our house or at mutual friends’ homes. They’ve made it pretty clear that they’re not in financial hardship, so we feel a little used. I’d like to say something but can’t find the right words. How should I proceed?

44 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Is there a polite way to tell a friend you’ll be in their town for work but won’t have time to see them? I’d like to avoid the dreaded “What? You’re here?!” comment on a social media post revealing my location. Is it too awkward to text and say, “Hi, coming to St. Louis next week, but I’m not sure I’ll have time to see you”?

ABOUT C AT H E R I N E The author of One Mixed-Up Night, Catastrophic Happiness, and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

Given that I can feel a little bereft when a mere acquaintance comes through town without getting in touch, I appreciate your question. It’s ﬁne to say nothing, and your friends will certainly survive if they ﬁnd out you were nearby. But proactively preempting discovery is a better option. Your “awkward” example is pretty close to what I would recommend: “Argh. I’ll be in Philly next month, but I’ve got wall-to-wall meetings and won’t get to visit with friends. I didn’t want you to see that I was here and think I wasn’t dying to see you! I’ll wave from the plane.” It’s hard enough dealing with people who don’t care about us at all; we might as well do what we can to limit the insecurity of our actual loved ones.

I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y Yo c o N a g a m i y a

C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y U L I K N Ö R Z E R

My goodness, that’s a very “Stone Soup” style of hosting! Like, “Here’s our house. Please ﬁll it with the things we’ll need for a party!” Of course, “Stone Soup” is actually about the lovely contagiousness of generosity—“I’ve got some leeks!” “Wait, I’ve got some lamb!”— and it’s fun to think of your in-laws as offering a similar occasion for plenitude. Fun but challenging, because that’s not really my style of hosting—or yours, it seems. You can decide not to go to their parties, and you can decide how to host your own, but you can’t decide how they will. (You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose…) You’re likely already modeling your preferred style of graciousness when you invite them over, which is pretty much all there is to do. Your in-laws may simply be uncomfortable hosts who still want to spend time with their people, which is not, after all, the worst reason to invite folks over.

G. H . A S K S …

A.K. ASKS…

I stock some decent, brand-name mini-size chocolate candies at my desk for visitors. Each time I restock my bowl, one of my chocoholic coworkers “visits” so she can take 5 to 10 pieces of the kinds she likes. Each visit, she depletes my bowl of all the candy she likes and leaves only a few pieces for others. She has made me hesitant to refill the bowl, since she doesn’t allow others to get joy from the treats. Is there a way I can approach this with her? Her candy habit is expensive to support!

The consensus at my house is this: Stock cheaper chocolate, and take pleasure in the pleasure you’re offering your workmate. You could consider putting out fewer candies at a time or posting a passive-aggressive Please Take One! sign, but doesn’t it feel better just to be generous? If your colleague were the one writing to me for advice, I would recommend that she regularly replenish your candy. But she’s not, and there’s nothing you can say that won’t embarrass her. So scale down the quality and enjoy your own magnanimity—and the fact that there’s a woman left alive on the planet who hasn’t been shamed out of loving sweets.

B.S. ASKS…

I work in a very small town at the public library. We have high unemployment and poverty here, and many go without services such as running water. Is there anything we can say to our patrons who have poor hygiene and very offensive body odor? Sometimes they come in and stay for hours, making it hard to go into the area of the building where they are. They are nice folks, all, and we don’t want to offend, but it’s hard for staff and other patrons. As a public place, do we just have to endure?

I know I don’t need to tell you what a valuable service you’re providing by working at one of our few truly public spaces. Libraries can serve as a home base for the homeless and those in need of a de facto shelter with bathrooms and climate control, to say nothing of the books, newspapers, and community you offer too. It must be unpleasant to work in a smelly environment, and your library might look into purchasing an air puriﬁer if you can generate the funds. But I wouldn’t say anything. Good hygiene is a multifaceted privilege that requires, among other things, access to showers and laundry, in addition to general health care, mental health care, and dental care. If there are social services you can refer your patrons to, I’m sure you’re already doing so. If you aren’t, consider posting a list or printing a handout. In lieu of adding a social worker to your staff, which some libraries are doing, you are left to do this work yourself. I only hope it helps to know how much your grace and compassion mean to your patrons.

HAVE AN E TIQUE T TE QUE STION? Submit your social conundrums to modernmanners@realsimple.com. Selected letters will be featured on these pages every month.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

FOR ADULTS WITH MODERATE TO SEVERE PLAQUE PSORIASIS

ACTUAL PATIENT

Gary has been compensated for his time.

INDICATION COSENTYX® (secukinumab) is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis that involves large areas or many areas of the body, and who may benefit from taking injections or pills (systemic therapy) or phototherapy (treatment using ultraviolet or UV light, alone or with systemic therapy). IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Do not use COSENTYX if you have had a severe allergic reaction to secukinumab or any of the other ingredients in COSENTYX. See the Consumer Brief Summary for a complete list of ingredients. COSENTYX is a medicine that affects your immune system. COSENTYX may increase your risk of having serious side effects such as: Infections COSENTYX may lower the ability of your immune system to fight infections and may increase your risk of infections. • Your doctor should check you for tuberculosis (TB) before starting treatment with COSENTYX. • If your doctor feels that you are at risk for TB, you may be treated with medicine for TB before you begin treatment with COSENTYX and during treatment with COSENTYX.

Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation East Hanover, New Jersey 07936-1080

• Your doctor should watch you closely for signs and symptoms of TB during treatment with COSENTYX. Do not take COSENTYX if you have an active TB infection. Before starting COSENTYX, tell your doctor if you: • are being treated for an infection • have an infection that does not go away or that keeps coming back • have TB or have been in close contact with someone with TB • think you have an infection or have symptoms of an infection such as: fevers, sweats, or chills; muscle aches; cough; shortness of breath; blood in your phlegm; weight loss; warm, red, or painful skin or sores on your body; diarrhea or stomach pain; burning when you urinate or urinate more often than normal After starting COSENTYX, call your doctor right away if you have any signs of infection listed above. Do not use COSENTYX if you have any signs of infection unless you are instructed to by your doctor. Inflammatory Bowel Disease New cases of inflammatory bowel disease or “flare-ups” can happen with COSENTYX, and can sometimes be serious. If you have inflammatory bowel disease (ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease), tell your doctor if you have worsening disease symptoms during treatment with COSENTYX or develop new symptoms of stomach pain or diarrhea.

5/18

COS-1355502

“I was covered with psoriasis for years. It was awful. I tried so many different things...then I found COSENTYX®. I’m clear. Have been for 3 years. Look at these elbows...sexy, right?”

CLEAR SKIN CAN LAST WITH COSENTYX. Ask your dermatologist about COSENTYX.

Serious Allergic Reactions Serious allergic reactions can occur. Get emergency medical help right away if you get any of the following symptoms: feeling faint; swelling of your face, eyelids, lips, mouth, tongue, or throat; trouble breathing or throat tightness; chest tightness; or skin rash. If you have a severe allergic reaction, do not give another injection of COSENTYX. Before starting COSENTYX, tell your doctor if you: • have any of the conditions or symptoms listed in previous column for infections • have inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis) • are allergic to latex. The needle caps contain latex. • have recently received or are scheduled to receive an immunization (vaccine). People who take COSENTYX should not receive live vaccines. • have any other medical conditions • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if COSENTYX can harm your unborn baby. You and your doctor should decide if you will use COSENTYX. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if COSENTYX passes into your breast milk. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Know the medicines you take. Keep a list of your medicines to show your doctor and pharmacist when you get a new medicine.

How should I use COSENTYX? See the detailed Instructions for Use that comes with your COSENTYX for information on how to prepare and inject a dose of COSENTYX, and how to properly throw away (dispose of) used COSENTYX Sensoready® pens and prefilled syringes. • Use COSENTYX exactly as prescribed by your doctor. • If your doctor decides that you or a caregiver may give your injections of COSENTYX at home, you should receive training on the right way to prepare and inject COSENTYX. Do not try to inject COSENTYX yourself, until you or your caregiver has been shown how to inject COSENTYX by your doctor or nurse. The most common side effects of COSENTYX include: cold symptoms, diarrhea, and upper respiratory infections. These are not all of the possible side effects of COSENTYX. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Please see Consumer Brief Summary on the back of this page.

O CO-PAY* IF YOU’RE ELIGIBLE

LEARN MORE AT COSENTYX.COM

*For commercially insured only. Limitations apply.

CONSUMER BRIEF SUMMARY The risk information provided here is not comprehensive. This information does not take the place of talking with your doctor about your medical condition or treatment. To learn more about COSENTYX® (secukinumab), talk to your doctor or pharmacist. For more information and to obtain the FDA-approved product labeling, call 1-888-669-6682 or visit www.COSENTYX.com. What is the most important information I should know about COSENTYX? COSENTYX is a medicine that affects your immune system. COSENTYX may increase your risk of having serious side effects such as: Infections. COSENTYX may lower the ability of your immune system to fight infections and may increase your risk of infections. • Your healthcare provider should check you for tuberculosis (TB) before starting treatment with COSENTYX. • If your healthcare provider feels that you are at risk for TB, you may be treated with medicine for TB before you begin treatment with COSENTYX and during treatment with COSENTYX. • Your healthcare provider should watch you closely for signs and symptoms of TB during treatment with COSENTYX. Do not take COSENTYX if you have an active TB infection. Before starting COSENTYX, tell your healthcare provider if you: • are being treated for an infection • have an infection that does not go away or that keeps coming back • have TB or have been in close contact with someone with TB • think you have an infection or have symptoms of an infection such as: | fevers, sweats, or chills | warm, red, or painful skin or sores on your body | muscle aches | diarrhea or stomach pain | cough | burning when you urinate or | shortness of breath urinate more often than normal | blood in your phlegm | weight loss After starting COSENTYX, call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of the signs of infection listed above. Do not use COSENTYX if you have any signs of infection unless you are instructed to by your healthcare provider. See “What are the possible side effects of COSENTYX?” for more information about side effects. What is COSENTYX? COSENTYX is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis that involves large areas or many areas of the body, and who may benefit from taking injections or pills (systemic therapy) or phototherapy (treatment using ultraviolet or UV light alone or with systemic therapy). COSENTYX may improve your psoriasis, but it may also lower the ability of your immune system to fight infections. It is not known if COSENTYX is safe and effective in children. Who should not use COSENTYX? Do not use COSENTYX if you have had a severe allergic reaction to secukinumab or any of the other ingredients in COSENTYX. See the end of the Consumer Brief Summary for a complete list of ingredients in COSENTYX. What should I tell my healthcare provider before starting COSENTYX? Before starting COSENTYX, tell your healthcare provider if you: • have any of the conditions or symptoms listed in the section “What is the most important information I should know about COSENTYX?” • have inflammatory bowel disease (Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis) • are allergic to latex. The needle cap on the COSENTYX Sensoready® pen and prefilled syringe contains latex. • have recently received or are scheduled to receive an immunization (vaccine). People who take COSENTYX should not receive live vaccines. • have any other medical conditions • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if COSENTYX can harm your unborn baby. You and your healthcare provider should decide if you will use COSENTYX. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if COSENTYX passes into your breast milk. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Know the medicines you take. Keep a list of your medicines to show your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine.

How should I use COSENTYX? See the detailed “Instructions for Use” that comes with your COSENTYX for information on how to prepare and inject a dose of COSENTYX, and how to properly throw away (dispose of) used COSENTYX Sensoready pens and prefilled syringes. • Use COSENTYX exactly as prescribed by your healthcare provider. • If your healthcare provider decides that you or a caregiver may give your injections of COSENTYX at home, you should receive training on the right way to prepare and inject COSENTYX. Do not try to inject COSENTYX yourself, until you or your caregiver has been shown how to inject COSENTYX by your healthcare provider. • COSENTYX comes in a Sensoready pen or prefilled syringe that you or your caregiver may use at home to give injections. Your healthcare provider will decide which type of COSENTYX is best for you to use at home. • Your healthcare provider will prescribe the dose of COSENTYX that is right for you. | If your prescribed dose of COSENTYX is 150 mg, you must give 1 injection of COSENTYX for each dose. | If your prescribed dose of COSENTYX is 300 mg, you must give 2 injections for each dose. • COSENTYX is given as an injection under your skin (subcutaneous injection), in your upper legs (thighs) or stomach-area (abdomen) by you or a caregiver. A caregiver may also give you an injection of COSENTYX in your upper outer arm. • Do not give an injection in an area of the skin that is tender, bruised, red or hard, or in an area of skin that is affected by psoriasis. • Each injection should be given at a different site. Do not use the 2-inch area around your navel (belly button). • If you inject more COSENTYX than prescribed, call your healthcare provider or go to the nearest emergency room right away. What are the possible side effects of COSENTYX? See “What is the most important information I should know about COSENTYX?” • Inflammatory bowel disease. New cases of inflammatory bowel disease or “flare-ups” can happen with COSENTYX, and can sometimes be serious. If you have inflammatory bowel disease (ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s disease), tell your healthcare provider if you have worsening disease symptoms during treatment with COSENTYX or develop new symptoms of stomach pain or diarrhea. • Serious allergic reactions. Get emergency medical help right away if you get any of the following symptoms of a serious allergic reaction: • trouble breathing or throat • feel faint tightness • swelling of your face, eyelids, lips, mouth, tongue, or throat • chest tightness • skin rash If you have a severe allergic reaction, do not give another injection of COSENTYX. The most common side effects of COSENTYX include: • cold symptoms • diarrhea • upper respiratory infections These are not all of the possible side effects of COSENTYX. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. Keep COSENTYX and all medicines out of the reach of children. General information about the safe and effective use of COSENTYX Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Medication Guide. Do not use COSENTYX for a condition for which it was not prescribed. Do not give COSENTYX to other people, even if they have the same symptoms you have. It may harm them. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about COSENTYX that is written for health professionals. What are the ingredients in COSENTYX? Active ingredient: secukinumab Inactive ingredients: Sensoready pen and prefilled syringe: L-histidine/ histidine hydrochloride monohydrate, L-methionine, polysorbate 80, trehalose dihydrate, and sterile water for injection. Vial: L-histidine/histidine hydrochloride monohydrate, polysorbate 80, and sucrose.

COS-1355502

R E L AT I N G

Good Read

Tracee and Me G O T A C E L E B R I T Y T W I N ? S O D O E S B R I D G E T T M . D AV I S, W H O S P E N T

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

T WO DECADES LE ARNING TO LIVE WITH HER D OPPELGÄNGER.

Photograph by Corey Olsen

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

R E L AT I N G

The author (left) and the actress Tracee Ellis Ross (right).

I lay dozing on my sofa when, pulled from my nap by the blaring television, I awoke to myself on the news. Startled, I sat up and wondered out loud: “What am I doing on TV?” But it wasn’t me. It was Tracee Ellis Ross, standing beside her famous mother, Diana Ross. You could say that was the moment I really woke up. Ever since the hit TV comedy Girlfriends premiered on UPN back in 2000, people have told me I resemble Tracee Ellis Ross, who played the starring role. When I ﬁrst saw the show, I took one look at Joan, Ross’s character, and announced: “I do not look like her.” My husband agreed. “You have totally different eyes,” he assured me. But for the next eight years, the show aired weekly, a runaway hit. And throughout that time, college students, strangers on elevators, waitresses in restaurants, bouncers who checked my driver’s license, cashiers at Whole Foods, and fans at a Meshell Ndegeocello concert all asked the same question: “Has anyone ever told you who you look just like?” Folks stared at me when I was on a subway train or walking down the street. A guy followed me into a Banana Republic dressing room for an autograph, the security guard at my son’s after-school program resorted to calling me Joan, and a woman I actually knew didn’t speak to me because she was too nervous and thought I was “that actress on TV.” One day an older black guy turned to me at the doughnut cart where we were both buying

“She’s like the younger me, only more heightened and perfected,” I lamented to my husband. “The version of me that got it right.”

50 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

coffee and said, “Baby, you do know you look like Diana Ross’s daughter?” I yelled at him, “Well, I’m not her! She’s taller, richer, and better dressed!” He just chuckled. Yes, it was getting to me. I had denied the resemblance all those years because I didn’t want to be known for looking like someone famous; I wanted to be known for being me, a writer. I had a byline, a website, published books, a toe in the roiling ocean of public awareness. That recognition had not come easily. And now I felt reduced to the doppelgänger of a TV actress. YO U M I G H T T H I N K T H AT B E I N G T O L D

you look like a beautiful, famous woman is a compliment. Not for me. I felt that the pressure was on me to keep up. Ross is a decade younger, her hair is longer and thicker, curls looser. Her makeup is flawless. My idea of makeup is wearing eye pencil and a neutral lip gloss. She understands what it takes to look good in photographs. I slouch. As if this wasn’t troubling enough, I also have a childhood connection to Diana Ross that complicates matters. Growing up in Detroit, I lived very near the Supremes during the height of their Motown celebrity. I still remember standing on the corner of Buena Vista as a little girl, staring at the house where glamorous Diana lived, hoping to get a glimpse. When I wrote the screenplay for my feature film, Naked Acts, I named the cool “sistah-friend” character Diana in tribute to the first woman in my midst who had chased her dream and soared, this hometown girl who had attended the same high school that I did and shattered all kinds of barriers for what black girls could do and be. This connection now made me feel complicit in my own dilemma, as though I had created the aura around which I could be mistaken for Diana Ross’s daughter. And here’s another layer, the most unsettling of all: While I resemble this famous stranger, I have never resem-

F R O M L E F T : C O U R T E S Y O F N I N A S U B I N ; PA U L A R C H U L E TA / G E T T Y I M A G E S C O N T R I B U T O R

O N A W I N T RY DAY S E V E R A L Y E A R S AG O,

bled anyone I’m related to. As I age, my aunt Florence says I’m beginning to look like my mom, but I never did growing up. I wanted to. (Ross, on the other hand, has her famous mom’s eyes, more reason for my envy.) I look nothing like my father or siblings or extended family. I have a nose that seems to have come from somewhere outside of my own family’s DNA. Until 2000, I lived my life occasionally mistaken for a Somalian or an Ethiopian, but never for someone I knew. I had assumed this would always be the case. I thought that was my identity. And then I became, in effect, recognizable for looking like someone else more recognizable. Mercifully for me, Girlfriends went off the air, and the comparisons subsided for a few years. Then in 2014, ABC’s Black-ish premiered. I did not share my friends’ joy that an African-American actress had landed a plum role on prime-time TV. I knew what was coming. And sure enough, I was right, only now that Ross’s face was seemingly everywhere, the comments had morphed into “You must get this all the time, but you look just like…” With denial no longer an option—I had even mistaken her for me!—I resorted to obsession. Every week as I tuned in to Black-ish, I now saw an embodiment of what I had not achieved but should have—not just a deﬁned personal style but artistic success. Hers was in front of the camera; mine ought to have been behind the camera. “She’s like the younger me, only more heightened and perfected,” I lamented to my husband. “The version of me that got it right.” “Stop it,” he said. But I couldn’t. I felt I was losing a one-way battle. How do you compete for your identity with someone oblivious to your existence? Someone who has the advantage of a weekly audience of millions? Black-ish keeps getting renewed, and the years keep passing, and I keep getting double takes. The faint blip of my career as a writer has done little to counterbalance this identity grab. As time passes, I worry that Ross’s maturing face will begin to resemble mine even more; other days, I worry that as I age, people will stop seeing the resemblance altogether, and that will mark my slide into older-woman oblivion. Because no matter how much it has annoyed me for nearly 20 years, this claim that we look alike has become part of who I am. I even keep a mental note of how many days or weeks have gone by before it happens again. B L AC K- I S H I S C E L E B R AT I N G

another season, and Ross has won a Golden Globe and been nominated for three Emmy Awards—the ﬁrst African-American woman to be nominated in the lead-comedy-actress category in 30 years. She is a cultural icon. And a fashion icon as well, as evidenced by her trendsetting, stunning attire at awards

shows and galas. That, coupled with her daily presence on Instagram (of course I follow her), makes her ubiquitous. A little over a year ago while helping my daughter open a checking account, I handed my license to the bank manager, who took one look and said, “Wow, you look just like...” My daughter, Abbie, quickly responded, “Yeah, everybody tells my mom that.” I glanced at Abbie and decided, finally, just to accept my fate. A few weeks later, my cousin Elaine called. She was 12 when I was born and adored me from day one; she brags about me to friends and regularly sends me inspirational cards with uplifting Bible passages. Everything I do, big or small, she applauds. And she has consistently validated my looks: my natural hair, my slightly bohemian style, my prominent nose. Just before hanging up, she said, “You know, Princess, whenever I miss you, I watch that show, the one with the girl on it that looks like you? Makes me feel like you’re here visiting.” I was stunned. This was the first time someone I knew, someone who had known me forever, had made the connection between Ross and me. Yes, I’d told myself I had accepted my fate, but this was different, too close to home. “Elaine, please tell me what it is that makes you say that,” I pleaded. “It’s the way she walks, her voice, her hair,” Elaine said matter-of-factly. “She reminds me of you.” I said nothing. “What’s wrong?” Elaine asked, my silence hovering between us. “I guess it’s just hard for me to look like ABOUT someone I don’t even know,” I confessed. T H E AU T H O R “When I don’t look like anyone I do know.” Bridgett M. Davis’s first nonfiction book, Elaine raised her voice a bit. “But I said The World According she looks like you.” to Fannie Davis, is I smiled, even though she couldn’t see out on January 29. She is the author me. Before she hung up, my cousin said, of two novels and a “I love you, Princess.” film and teaches at Black-ish is in its fifth season, and much Baruch College in New York City, where of its success is due to its female star and she lives. her talent as an actress, that lovely mix of vulnerability, physicality, charm, and comedic timing. She’s a trailblazer, bringing a fresh image of a complex, smart, and funny black woman to this country’s consciousness. Something I too have tried to do in my own work. And in her role as Rainbow Johnson, she has brought vital issues for women to the fore, like postpartum depression, work-life balance, and marital sacrifice. These days, I’m as proud of her as any big sister—spiritual or otherwise—could be. And I’m proud too that Tracee Ellis Ross looks like me.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Got a Worrywart? T H E R E A R E W AY S T O P R E PA R E C H I L D R E N F O R T H E S T R E S S O R S L I F E W I L L I N E V I T A B LY S E N D T H E I R W AY — A N D H E L P T H E M C O P E WHEN THE ANXIET Y BOIL S OVER. By Juli Fraga, PsyD

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F R O M T H E DAY your baby cries when you leave for the ﬁrst time to the night a teen comes home panicking about a bad grade, seeing your kids worry cuts like a knife. We want to protect them from suffering, but of course worrying is a normal part of childhood, adolescence, and, well, life itself. Teaching our children healthy ways to cope with the things that stress them can bolster their emotional well-being for life and can prevent their worries from spiraling into something more serious, like an anxiety disorder. Here’s how to prepare the children in your life for some of the most common worries they may face and how to manage if their fears come true.

Illustrations by Shout

R E L AT I N G

THE ISSUE: NIGHTMARES

“Toddlers as young as 18 months old can have nightmares,” says Angelique Millette, PhD, a pediatric sleep consultant with offices in Austin, Texas, and San Francisco. Nightmares can make it feel scary to go to bed the next night and even lead to fear of the dark. Though occasional bad dreams may be inevitable, Millette says that poor sleep quality can make nightmares worse. To get ahead of these overnight woes, she recommends creating a healthy sleep routine for your child. “Sticking to the same bedtime each night, using a low-watt night-light, and reading a calming story before bedtime can help kids feel safe and secure, which helps them sleep better at night,” says Millette. If they’re sleeping badly, make sure it isn’t because they’re overtired: Toddlers need about 10 to 12 hours each night and a 1½- to 2-hour nap. H E L P T H E M P R E PA R E :

Infants and Toddlers THE ISSUE: S E PA R AT I O N A N X I E T Y

“Separation anxiety typically begins around 10 months old and can last to about age 3 and sometimes even longer,” says Nina Kaiser, PhD, a child psychologist in San Francisco. One way to help prepare little ones for goodbyes is to read a story like Anna Dewdney’s Llama Llama Misses Mama together. “Reading books about transitions like the ﬁrst day of school normalizes the experience and reassures kids that everything will turn out OK,” says Kaiser. It’s also smart to visit the childcare facility or school with your infants or toddlers before the ﬁrst day, says Kaiser. Showing them what to expect can help them feel safer when the big day comes. H E L P T H E M P R E PA R E :

Children who handle separation anxiety best learn what to expect over time. Saying things like “Grown-ups always come back” when you leave and telling your child what time you’ll return help establish a predictable routine. Setting up a goodbye ritual by singing a song and taking your child’s favorite stuffed animal to daycare can also help soothe sadness, says Kaiser. Most important, keep your own worries under wraps. “Parents’ behavior shows kids whether there’s something to worry about,” says Kaiser. Drawing out the goodbye or becoming upset can make children’s worries grow, but talking to them calmly conveys that everything is going to be ﬁne. HELP THEM COPE:

Despite your best efforts, nightmares may still happen. And “some children become so worried about nightmares that they protest going to sleep,” says Millette. With younger toddlers, she recommends leaving a light on in the hallway and sitting with them when they’re distressed. Comforting statements like “You had a scary dream, but you’re safe” and “Your body is good at sleeping” can also be calming. Toddlers may have difficulty naming their fears, but having them draw a picture or helping them write a story about the experience can assist them in expressing their emotions, which feels empowering. HELP THEM COPE:

W H E N S H O U L D YO U W O R RY A B O U T T H E I R W O R RY I N G ? Discerning between normal kid fears and an anxiety disorder isn’t always easy. Many experts and the American Psychological Association note that these signs could indicate that your child may need to see a mental-health professional: • Health complaints: symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and insomnia. • Avoidance: refusing social invites, staying home from school, or skipping sports or other activities. • Behavioral changes: isolating themselves from friends and family members for extended periods.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Big Kids T H E I S S U E : F E A R O F D E AT H

Around age 7 or earlier, many children ask their parents, “What happens after we die?” “When kids ask this question, it’s important to welcome their curiosity and answer honestly,” says Claire Bidwell Smith, a grief therapist and the author of Anxiety: the Missing Stage of Grief. Smith recommends asking, “What do you think happens?” If your child asks whether people or animals go to heaven, answer honestly based on your family’s beliefs. If your family doesn’t believe in the afterlife, it’s OK to be up-front. “Talking about life spans of other species can help,” says Smith, so the death of a pet isn’t completely unexpected. When death isn’t a taboo topic, it can seem less scary. H E L P T H E M P R E PA R E :

“Kids’ worries about death may grow once they realize that their parents can’t protect them from everything,” says Abigail Marks, PhD, a clinical psychologist in San Francisco who specializes in grief. Concerns about dying can also become magnified after losing a beloved pet or a family member. Talk openly about their fears. “See if you can find out more about their specific concerns and show that you take their feelings seriously,” advises Marks. No one has the answers to all of life’s existential questions, but Marks says that when kids feel reassured and understood, anxiety can begin to shrink. HELP THEM COPE:

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THE ISSUE: TR AGEDIES AND DISASTER S

Whether it’s the possibility of a school shooting or a natural disaster like a hurricane, worries about tragedies can rattle a kid’s sense of safety. “Parents can keep these worries at bay by being mindful about how their children are exposed to the news and to information shared online,” says Kaiser. Parents also often have (legitimate) worries about this one, so lean into your support system to talk about your fears, see a therapist, or ﬁnd a parents’ group to join. “Parents’ emotional reactions inform kids’ thoughts, feelings, and behavior. If parents are anxious, kids worry more too,” says Kaiser. H E L P T H E M P R E PA R E :

The toughest time is the immediate aftermath of a tragedy. “Facts are your friends,” says Sheryl Ziegler, PsyD, a child psychologist in Denver and the author of Mommy Burnout. “Offer grounding statements like ‘Tragedies do happen, but it’s unlikely there’ll be one at your school,’ ” recommends Ziegler. If your child still seems worried, review your school’s safety plan. As you discuss the details, point out teachers and staffers who monitor kids’ safety every day. Look at the weather forecast together and calmly review safety and evacuation procedures. H E L P T H E M CO P E :

R E L AT I N G

THE ISSUE: COLLEGE ADMISSIONS

“Teaching kids how to take responsibility for their schoolwork can help them prepare for the stress of college preparation,” says Jean McPhee, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in Northern California who specializes in treating learning problems and stress in students. And parents don’t need to wait until their teens are in high school to instill these helpful habits. “Instead of focusing on what kids aren’t doing, parents can get a step ahead of the commotion by praising them for positive behavior, like completing homework on time,” says McPhee. Saying things like “I notice you got your report written—great job” reinforces the development of good time-management skills and sturdy study habits, she says. H E L P T H E M P R E PA R E :

Tweens and Teens THE ISSUE: FRIENDSHIP AND SOCIAL MEDIA

“Drama almost always comes with the territory in the social lives of teens,” says Lisa Damour, PhD, a clinical psychologist and the author of Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls (out next month). Letting adolescents know that friendships don’t exist without tension can reassure them that these social challenges are normal and lessen their fears of peer rejection. Teens may bristle when parents give advice, whereas sharing that you’ve faced similar conﬂicts with friends can validate their emotions. H E L P T H E M P R E PA R E :

Working with your teens to establish a self-care routine can buffer them from college prep stress: Stress-management techniques like exercise and healthy eating can go a long way. And, as ever, keep your own stress about their college plans in check too. “Worried parents may react by saying something like ‘You’re never going to get your essays completed,’ which can feed a kid’s doomsday thinking,” McPhee says. HELP THEM COPE:

Situations like not getting invited to a party and later learning about it on Instagram can be crushing for many adolescents. “If your teen is worried about being left out in real life or on social media, empathize with their feelings. Let them know that it’s hard to have that much information about what they’re missing,” says Damour. Noting some reasons why people may limit their guest lists can help: Maybe the party space was small, or their parents made them invite family friends. And remind your teen that hanging out with a mix of people is a normal part of social life. She can and should too. HELP THEM COPE:

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

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Make This Your Year of the Tiny Resolution E I G H T S M A L L - B U T - M I G H T Y H E A LT H G O A L S Y O U C A N A C T U A L LY S T I C K T O I N 2 0 1 9 By Juno DeMelo

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JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

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W E ’ R E D R AW N T O J U I C E FA S T S

because they work—for a while. But once you go back to eating real food, the weight comes back too. The same goes for working out: “People exercise every day for the ﬁrst two weeks of the year, then the gyms are empty by February because that level of commitment just isn’t feasible in the long run,” says nutrition therapist Dana Sturtevant, RD, a co-owner of Be Nourished in Portland, Oregon. “When we set the bar too high, we inevitably blow it, blame ourselves, and go back to the status quo.” To set you up for success, we asked experts for goals that feel so doable, you may wonder whether they’re even worth aiming for. You may not drop two sizes or be a Zen master by tomorrow, but we promise you will make signiﬁcant headway on the journey to a happier, healthier you.

Upgrade your dessert.

Sit differently.

“If you’re craving something sweet after dinner, you should have it! But if you want to cut back on sugar and still satisfy that craving, you can dilute the sweet stuff with something like nuts or seeds,” suggests Willow Jarosh, RD, a cofounder of C&J Nutrition in New York City. So instead of reaching for a chocolate bar, try chocolate-covered almonds, chocolate-dipped frozen-banana bites, or chocolate chips mixed with popcorn, pistachios, or both. Besides reducing your intake of added sugar—too much of which has been linked to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a larger waist size—you’ll also get some heart-healthy ﬁber.

It can be hard to sit less, especially if you have an office job. But sitting better is easy: Pop your booty. “Most people sit in a C shape, which puts pressure on your spine and can cause lower-back, neck, and shoulder pain,” says Jenn Sherer, the founder of the Spinefulness studio in Palo Alto, California. “And when we try to sit up ‘properly,’ we tend to suck in our stomach and stick out our chest, contracting our muscles in a way that can make us even more misaligned or stressed.” Pretend you have a tail, and bend slightly at the hips so you aren’t sitting on it, suggests Sherer. “This can help untuck your pelvis and elongate your spine so your vertebrae can stack up straight.” Also adjust your chair so your feet rest ﬂat on the ﬂoor (or a footrest) and your thighs are parallel to the ground.

“When we set the bar too high, we inevitably blow it, blame ourselves, and go back to the status quo.”

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Set a bedtime alarm. More than a third of us regularly don’t get the minimum seven hours of sleep we need. While you probably can’t sleep in later, you can go to bed earlier—and the best way to ensure you do so is by setting an alarm for 45 minutes to an hour before lights-out, advises Holly Phillips, MD, the author of The Exhaustion Breakthrough. Once it goes off, start your winddown routine, whether that involves taking a shower, making your kids’ lunches for the next day, or prepping overnight oats. The alarm can also serve as a reminder to turn off the TV, close your laptop, and put down your phone, since the blue light that those devices emit can delay the release of the sleep hormone melatonin, making it harder to fall asleep. If you like to read before bed, dim the brightness on your reading devices. Activate blue-lightlimiting features (such as Night Shift on your iPad or Blue Shade on your Kindle Fire) or install dimmer bulbs in your bedroom.

you are and how much more food you think you need to be satisﬁed, suggests Sturtevant. “When we eat with awareness, we get more joy out of our food—and without that joy, it’s difficult to feel nourished.”

Designate a no-phone zone.

Walk to every destination within one mile. The more physical activity you can fit into your day, the better. “If something is within a onemile radius, I try to walk instead of drive,” says Michele Stanten, a walking coach and certiﬁed ﬁtness instructor based in Coopersburg, Pennsylvania. “Even if your neighborhood isn’t walkable, you can still walk from store to store within a big shopping complex or park at the bank or the drugstore and walk from there to your other errands.” Walking instead of driving can help you live longer, lose weight, improve your mood, and reduce your risk for heart disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. It also cuts down on greenhouse-gas emissions and saves you roughly

60 cents per mile. Another good micro-resolution: Move your feet every time your phone is in your hand. “If you’re tied to a landline or need to stay put, just march in place or step side to side,” says Stanten.

Check in with yourself midmeal. “Dieting is unsustainable, especially when you make restrictive, unrealistic rules about what you can and can’t eat,” says Sturtevant. For lasting health, you want to learn to tune in to signs of hunger, not ignore them. Sipping water between bites can help you slow down and eat more mindfully, as can pausing for a gut check halfway through your meal. To do it, put down your fork, take a deep breath, and ask yourself how full

Setting physical boundaries is easier than trying to limit how much time you spend scrolling through Instagram or checking your email (again). A new study from the University of British Columbia found that diners who had their phones out during dinner enjoyed their experience less than those who put their phones away, and a separate study suggested that if your phone is within reach, it impairs cognitive performance— even if it’s turned off. Try keeping your phone stashed in your bag at work or banning phones at the dinner table. If your family gives you pushback, start with a trial run. “When you suggest doing something for just three days or even a week, it’s easier to get buy-in,” says BJ Fogg, PhD, the director of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. “Hopefully you’ll have a really great discussion at dinner that gets everyone onboard with making this a more permanent policy.”

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One study showed that five minutes a day of running is all it takes to reduce your risk of death from cardiovascular disease.

Eat veggies at breakfast. Breakfast is often overlooked as an opportunity to squeeze in vegetables, which 91 percent (!) of us don’t get enough of. Try topping your toast with mashed avocado or adding a handful of baby spinach or sautéed grated sweet potatoes to your scrambled eggs. Your morning meal doesn’t have to be savory to include veggies; you can also stir grated zucchini into pancake batter or shredded carrots

into your oatmeal. “We have speciﬁc ideas of what breakfast foods are, when in fact breakfast is just a meal like any other,” says Sturtevant. “I love roasted vegetables with sunny-side eggs on top for breakfast, but you could even have leftover pizza with vegetables on it.”

Exercise for a few minutes. You’re supposed to get 2½ hours of moderate-intensity physical activity each week, or about 30 minutes five days a week. But don’t let those numbers intimidate you out of doing what you can. Experts say you can break down the time into 10-minute sessions without missing out on exercise’s physical and mental benefits. And research backs up the power of short workouts: One study found that 13 minutes of weight training three times a week is enough to build strength, while another showed that just five minutes a day of running is all it takes to reduce your risk of death from cardiovascular disease. “Some studies suggest that merely standing is good for metabolic health,” says Tamara Hew-Butler, PhD, an associate professor of exercise and sports science at Wayne State University in Detroit. “The bottom line is that any exercise is better than none at all.”

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M a k i n g I t Wo r k

When do you get your best work done and why?

I get the most done in the mornings. I try to start at 7 a.m. I don’t have a lot of distractions that early. I like to check sales from the day before when I first get started to help me strategize for the rest of the day. Then I check my emails. Most people aren’t emailing at seven in the morning, so I can catch up, and it helps my stress level to send emails but not get responses right away. Other wise, I could spend my entire day going back and forth and putting out small fires.

VALERIE WRAY, 43, C0FOUNDER OF THE 1 25 COLLECTION, AN URBAN LUXURY-CANDLE COMPANY BASED IN NE W YORK CIT Y

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I feel like my peakperformance time is around 10 a.m. Over the years I’ve realized mornings are more about easing into the day rather than diving right into work. I get up at 5:30 a.m., I have a couple of cups of coffee and a light break fast, and I am usually into work between 8 and 8:30 a.m. At the office, I have another cup of coffee and a glass of ice water, and I go over my emails. I’m a type-A, very organized person, and I like to know what’s come in overnight and be able to address it. I want to feel like I have my in-box and calendar under control so I can hyper-focus for the day. By 10 a.m., I’m in a work zone.

MILIS SA RICK, 45, SENIOR DIRECTOR OF MARKE TING AT PACIFIC CYCLE IN MADISON, WISCONSIN

For years I thought I got my best work done at night, but now I see that it’s really the morning. This is a complete reversal from 20 years ago, when I used to wait until 10 p.m. to do my best work. Back then, I lived on my own and I didn’t have to consider anybody else’s time. But after moving closer to my elderly parents and family and friends, I’ve figured out that I can get things done early in the morning and free up time to connect with them later in the day.

I get my best ideas and am most productive after a workout. I used to exercise at the end of the day but switched it to mornings, since I know it gives me an immediate boost. At first I was groggy, but I did it for three weeks and started to notice that my productive work time was extending later and later into the afternoon. Whereas before I had a very clear cutoff time for my writing, now I notice I work better and longer. It’s like a little vacation at the beginning of the day, and it puts me in a better mood. I know it’s improving and maximizing my brain function.

I do best at night between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. It’s the time of day that’s really mine. After I leave work, I want to spend time with my husband and daughter, so I keep those hours for my family. But those two hours later in the evening are best for reflecting on the day, organizing how to move forward, and setting strategy and big-picture ideas. It’s a time when I am done being at the office, my daughter is in bed, and I can completely focus.

TREVOR WESTON, PHD, 51, COMP OSER AND PROFES SOR OF MUSIC AT DRE W UNIVERSIT Y IN MADISON, NE W JERSEY

WENDY SUZUKI, PHD, 53, PROFES SOR OF NEURAL SCIENCE AND PSYCHOLOGY AT NEW YORK UNIVERSITY IN NE W YORK CIT Y

KELLY VL AHAKIS-HANKS, 41, PRESIDENT AND CEO OF E ARTH FRIENDLY PRODUCTS IN CYPRES S, CALIFORNIA

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Your Plan for the Best Year at Work F O L L O W T H I S M O N T H - B Y- M O N T H G U I D E T O M A K E 2 0 1 9 T H E H A P P I E S T, H E A LT H I E S T, A N D M O S T P R O D U C T I V E Y E A R Y E T. By Kathleen M. Harris

JA N UA RY

F E B RUA RY

M A RC H

APRIL

Start a career journal

Invest in your network

Make your desk space healthier

Get your finances in order

Use a blank notebook or an app like Day One (free for the basic version; iOS and Android) to track accomplishments, note feedback you received, and list short-term goals. Ideally try to update it every day or once a week. “The more you visually see your goals and areas of improvement, the more likely you are to address them,” says Lauren McGoodwin, founder of Career Contessa, a professional-development site for women. It also serves as a source of proof points when you’re asking for a raise or promotion or looking for a new job.

Aim to send one email or social message every workday to someone on the edge of your network, meaning a former colleague or a friend of a friend, says Molly Beck, the author of Reach Out: The Simple Strategy You Need to Expand Your Network and Increase Your Inﬂuence. You’ll kick off conversations with people who may eventually lead you to new opportunities—without having to endure a potentially awkward networking event.

Your work surface should be slightly below elbow height when seated or standing, and your monitor should be centered with the midline of your body, says Jonathan Puleio, a certiﬁed ergonomist and a vice president at Humanscale, a maker of ergonomic furniture. To reduce muscle fatigue, unlock your chair’s recline mechanism but keep the backrest tense enough to support your weight. Lastly, add artwork or a plant. “It will bring life into your space,” says Julie Morgenstern, author of Organizing from the Inside Out.

If you received a healthy tax refund, put half toward urgent debt, like credit cards or unpaid bills, says Farnoosh Torabi, a personalﬁnance expert and the host of the podcast So Money. Put the other half into savings, college, or retirement funds. If you received a paycheck raise (or not), increase your 401(k) contribution to the point where you can earn the company match, says Torabi. No matching program? Aim to contribute at least 10 percent.

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I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y S a m Ka l d a

M AY

JUNE

J U LY

AU G U S T

Do some team building

Do a goal check

Plan a vacation

Do a passion project

Is there anything you could be doing as a manager to improve morale and help your direct reports meet their goals? Take time to ask about things beyond project updates and see if they have any feedback for you, says McGoodwin. These honest conversations can clue you in to when a team-building picnic is in order stat.

You’re halfway through the year, so now is the time to ask, “What have I done to get closer to where I want to be?” If the answer doesn’t line up with goals you’ve set, use this reﬂection time to create new, realistic goals. “Small goals get us to action easier and allow for more wiggle room to change them,” says Maxie McCoy, the author of You’re Not Lost.

Have you taken half of your vacation days? Fifty-two percent of Americans leave unused vacation on the table, according to the U.S. Travel Association. Yes, you have a lot on your plate. But downtime can help you think about your priorities in a new way. “People should get promoted because they show value as an employee, not for perfect attendance,” says McGoodwin.

The summer slowdown is a chance to volunteer or gain work experience in other departments. Set up lunches with people in different roles to get you thinking about new opportunities, says McGoodwin. One woman she knows used extra time to start a recycling program at her company, and because of this, her bosses saw new leadership potential.

SEPTEMBER

O C TO B E R

N OV E M B E R

D EC E M B E R

Learn something new

Assess your benefits

Start mentoring

Update your personal sales kit

Pinpoint skills you would like to work on (like public speaking) or an industry trend you’re curious about (like data visualization) and check out offerings at local institutions or sites like Skillshare. Or take a class to reinvigorate your creativity, says McGoodwin: “A pottery class, music lesson— anything that breaks up the monotony of work and feeds your brain.”

Think about your potential health care needs in the next year: Are signiﬁcant expenses coming? If so, it may make sense to select a plan with a lower deductible and a lower out-of-pocket maximum, says Catherine Wragg, a senior vice president of human resources at TriNet, a beneﬁts and payroll provider. But if you’re healthy, you might consider a higher-deductible plan to save on premiums.

There’s something in it for you too. “Mentoring gives you a chance to gain insight into a younger perspective and to improve your intergenerational communication and leadership styles,” says Claire Diaz-Ortiz, a coauthor of One Minute Mentoring. See if your company offers a program, or look to industry organizations or community groups like Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Update your résumé, online portfolio, and LinkedIn proﬁle. Note key accomplishments, links to any publishable work, and positive reviews. Ask for recommendations from key collaborators too. “You don’t want to wait until you’re looking for something new and it becomes a huge project,” says career coach and résumé expert Jessica Warta.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

BAL ANCE

M O N E Y L E A K:

Having Subscription Apathy

Little Fixes That Could Save You $10,000 I N ST E A D O F CU T T I N G BAC K O N T H E T H I N G S YO U L OV E , W H AT I F YO U C O U L D F I N D A N D P LU G T H E M O N E Y L E A K S T H AT YO U M I G H T N O T R E A L I Z E A R E S A PP I N G YO U R B U D G E T? By Kate Ro ck wo o d

66 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

J U A N M O YA N O / S T O C K S Y

Money wise

That free wellness-coach trial you signed up for (and forgot to cancel). The credit-monitoring service you keep meaning to ditch. The gym membership gathering dust. That monthly beauty box you’re no longer into. Sure, no single subscription or membership is going to break your monthly budget, but in sum those commitments can quickly hit triple digits each month. These “gray charges” (as they’re known in the industry) may collectively be costing us $14 billion a year. “Companies know how to bank on people’s apathy,” says Emily Guy Birken, a personalfinance expert and the author of End Financial Stress Now. You can zap those recurring charges by periodically reviewing your financial statements or outsourcing the task to a free, AI-powered app, like Trim or Truebill. Both securely sync to your bank and credit card accounts; Trim sends you a text message listing your recurring charges each month, then cancels any unwanted subscriptions on your behalf. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $215 a year (the average amount of gray charges Americans have incurred).

M O N E Y L E A K:

Making a Late Payment from Time to Time M O N E Y L E A K:

Rarely Checking In on Your Accounts If you glance at your bank balance only when you fear that funds are dipping low, consider this: Real-time ﬁnancial info may supercharge your saving instinct. Researchers found that people using a ﬁnance app checked their account 12 times a month but logged on to their accounts’ desktop version via website only twice a month. And app users cut spending by nearly 16 percent overall—shelling out about 20 percent less on both dining out and groceries. Mint has been the budgeting app gold standard for some time (and it’s free), but if you prefer a bare-bones answer to how much you can spend at any moment without wrecking your budget, check out PocketGuard. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $2,536 a year on groceries alone if you shave 20 percent off the average $1,057 that a family of four spends at the supermarket each month. Plus over $600 a year if you shrink the household average that’s spent on dining out by 20 percent as well.

“I’ve been guilty of this myself,” says Annie Logue, an investing and money expert. But most late payments are met with a fee. And if you’re signiﬁcantly overdue, your late payment could also ding your credit score. That means that in the future you might pay a higher interest rate on, say, an auto loan. To avoid this, Logue suggests putting everything on automatic payments. Nervous about hitting a cash-ﬂow crunch? Auto-charge bills to one credit card and then put a reminder on your calendar for that one due date each month. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $141 a year if you nip a quarterly late payment in the bud.

M O N E Y L E A K:

Clinging to Cable The average cable bill is now more than $100 a month, according to the Leichtman Research Group, but you can cut the cord—and still watch sports and live news— for far less. We all know about binge-watching fave shows on Netflix ($8) and HBO Now ($15), but fans of live TV are flocking to Sling TV (starting at $25 per month) and Hulu with Live TV ($40 per month). F I X I T A N D S AV E : $708 a year if you swap cable for a combo of Sling TV, Netflix, and HBO Now.

M O N E Y L E A K:

Not Telling Your Insurance Company About the Security Cam You Bought If you installed smoke detectors and an alarm system to keep your house and loved ones safe, your insurance company might pat you on the back by lowering your premiums by up to 15 percent. Allstate, State Farm, and Nationwide all offer home-protection discounts. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $176 a year if you qualify for a 15 percent discount and pay $1,173 in premiums, the national average according to the Insurance Information Institute.

M O N E Y L E A K:

Losing Your Flex Health Care Dollars Workers with ﬂexible spending accounts (FSAs) lose an average of $172 a year because they don’t spend those pretax dollars before their company’s deadline of December 31 or March 15. Set a calendar reminder to stock up on staples, like bandages, or buy a spare pair of glasses. FSAstore.com stocks thousands of items guaranteed to be covered, so you can shop without spending a bunch of time researching the rules. Check your FSA’s policies, since some plans may allow you to carry money over or give you a grace period to spend it. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $172 a year.

Spend more wisely in the new year with the expert tips at realsimple.com/ shopsmart.

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BAL ANCE

M O N E Y L E A K:

Defaulting to Name Brands For times when you don’t have a particular label you love, opting for a no-name product can keep 25 percent more of your grocery budget in your wallet, according to Consumer Reports’ research. Many name-brand foods and drugstore products contain the exact same ingredients as their generic counterparts, says consumer savings expert Andrea Woroch. For an online option that makes generic the default, check out Brandless, which sells everything for $3—from peanut butter to toilet paper, face cream to quinoa—minus the so-called brand tax. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $3,171 a year if the average family of four trims 25 percent off its grocery bill.

M O N E Y L E A K: M O N E Y L E A K:

Paying the Bank to Hold Your Money “Many people have no idea if their bank is nickel-and-diming them each month,” says Erin Lowry, founder of Broke Millennial. Chase, Citibank, and Bank of America, for instance, can charge checking-account holders $12 in service fees each month. Signing up for direct deposit and maintaining minimum balances are usually enough to get the fees waived. And some banks charge more when you use an out-ofnetwork ATM. The average ATM surcharge hit a record high of $4.68 last year, according to Bankrate, and in some big cities consumers pay more than $5. Use your bank’s app to find an in-network ATM or swing through a convenience or grocery store and opt for cash back (for free!) at checkout. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $256 a year if you’ve been paying checkingaccount service fees and you hit an out-of-network ATM twice a month.

68 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Carrying a Credit Card Balance The average household with debt pays nearly $904 in interest a year, according to personal-ﬁnance site NerdWallet. And, like a snail eating its tail, paying that interest can make it harder to chip away at the principal, which means, well, more interest. A no-fee balance transfer can give you an annual percentage rate of 0 percent for up to 18 months, so you can make headway on your debt—and save money while doing so. F I X I T A N D S AV E : An average of $904, assuming you’re able to pay off the balance in full during the no-interest introductory period.

M O N E Y L E A K:

Having More Auto Insurance Than You Need A $3 tire gauge may have a return on investment of over 30 times its cost: A survey by Edmunds found that keeping your tires properly inﬂated could save you $112 in gas money. While you’re in the glove compartment double-checking the ideal tire pressure for your vehicle, take a peek at the expiration date on your auto policy. Drivers who stick with the same insurer for more than eight years could save nearly 19 percent by switching, one study found. But most drivers renew without even getting quotes from competitors. If the Kelley Blue Book value of your car is less than 10 times your premium, it may even make sense to drop some coverage. The Insurance Information Institute suggests that comprehensive and collision coverage don’t make sense when a car’s value dips below that threshold, a move that could save you as much as $800 or more a year. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $912 if you pump up your tires and downsize your coverage on an older car.

M O N E Y L E A K:

Using Plastic for Impulse Purchases Credit and debit cards may be convenient, but when it comes to mindful spending, cash seems to reign supreme. “When we surveyed people leaving Starbucks, 80 percent who paid with a credit card couldn’t recall how much they’d spent,” says Grant Donnelly, PhD, an assistant professor of marketing at Ohio State University in Columbus. So if you’re regularly overspending in one area, try stashing cash in your wallet for those occasions. F I X I T A N D S AV E : $540 a year if you trim 10 percent off the average $5,400 that consumers spend on impulse buys, according to a survey by Slickdeals, an online coupon and sale site.

Get Organized,

Stay Organized

ON SALE NOW

START THE NEW YEAR RIGHT: CONQUER YOUR CLUTTER ONCE AND FOR ALL

Ahhh... Often we feel the need for some peace and quiet, and when quiet is not to be found, it seems that peace cannot be found either. When you can’t shut out the world around you, here is a way to find spaciousness within the sounds of life. Sit comfortably. Take a few breaths in and out to get settled. Now, instead of trying to take in all the sounds around you at once, locate just one specific sound. Perhaps the soft whirring of an overhead fan. Let your attention gently stay with that sound for a while. Then find a different sound. Maybe you hear a dog barking. After a few moments, find another sound. Finally, relax your attention so that it expands to include all the sounds. You will notice that some come and go and some stay, but all of them change. This is the soundscape of your day, made up of noises and the spaces between the noises. Let the sounds wash over you like the wind.

STO C K SY

—CYNDI LEE, cyndilee.com

Photograph by Miquel Llonch

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Smørrebrø d with yo gurt, b e ets, and e ggs

breakfast (but better)

Black rice bowl with tahini, pistachios, and raspb erries

Sweet potatoes at sunrise? Yes! And five other healthy, filling, fresh recipes to start your day right Recipes by ANANDA EDELSTEIN Photographs by GREG DUPREE

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74 R E A L S I M P L E J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 9

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y C H E L S E A Z I M M E R ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

Tropical cre amsicle smoothie

S e e ded miso swe et p otato bre ad

Smørrebrø d with Yo gurt, B e ets, and Eggs Using yogurt instead of butter gives this D anish open-faced sandwich a healthy boost. Greek yogurt is high in protein and B vitamins and also contains probiotics, which promote good digestive health.

Tropical Cre amsicle Smo othie Apple cider vinegar promotes a healthy gut; raw honey steps in for sugar to provide a dose of unrefined sweetness.

ACT I V E T I M E 2 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 2 5 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

1 red beet, peeled, halved and sliced into thin half-moons 1 Tbsp. loosely packed fresh dill, chopped, plus more for serving 1 tsp. olive oil, plus more for serving 1 tsp. white wine vinegar tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 cup plain Greek yogurt 1 clove garlic, grated Freshly ground black pepper 4 slices pumpernickel bread (such as Mestemacher) 2 Tbsp. drained capers Flaky sea salt, for serving a large pot of water to a boil. Gently lower eggs into pot and cook, 7 minutes. Drain and rinse eggs under cold water until cool to the touch. Peel eggs; set aside.

BRING

eggs cook, toss together beet slices, chopped dill, oil, vinegar, and teaspoon of the salt in a medium bowl. In a separate small bowl, stir together yogurt, garlic, several grinds of black pepper, and remaining teaspoon salt. WHILE

yogurt mixture among bread slices, spreading to edges. Top with marinated beets. Gently tear eggs into quarters and place on top of beets along with capers, dill, flaky salt, and several grinds of black pepper. Drizzle with olive oil and serve immediately. DIVIDE

2 cups frozen mango (10 oz.)

Black Rice B owl with Tahini, Pistachios, and Raspb erries Black rice is rich in the antioxidant anthocyanin, a plant pigment that gives it (and blueberries) a rich, deep color. Along with other antioxidants, anthocyanin may help protect our bodies from disease by combating free radicals. ACT I V E T I M E 2 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 4 0 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

cups black rice tsp. kosher salt 1 cup fresh raspberries cup chopped lightly salted roasted pistachios cup tahini 1 Tbsp. raw honey 1 cup milk of choice (such as cow, nut, or seed milk) Fresh mint leaves, torn if large

rice, salt, and 3 cups water in a medium pot. Bring to a boil; reduce heat to low, cover, and cook until water is absorbed and rice is tender, 25 to 30 minutes.

PL ACE

rice among bowls. Top with raspberries, pistachios, tahini, honey, and milk. Top with mint leaves. DIVIDE

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2 medium carrots, chopped (1 cup) 2 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar 2 tsp. fresh lime juice (from 1 lime) 2 tsp. raw honey cup light coconut milk, well-shaken mango, carrots, vinegar, lime juice, honey, and 1 cup water in a blender.

PL ACE

until smooth, about 1 minute, stopping to scrape down sides as needed. Divide coconut milk between 2 glasses and top with smoothie.

BLEND

B L A C K R I C E B O W L A N D WA F F L E S U R F A C E S : C A M B R I A N AT U R A L S T O N E S S U R F A C E S F E AT U R I N G C A M B R I A’ S W H I T E H A L L I N A M AT T E F I N I S H , C A M B R I A U S A . C O M

ACT I V E T I M E 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 5 M I N U T E S SERVES 2

4 large eggs

S avor y cornmeal-chia waf fles with spicy maple syrup

Buckwhe at, almond, and co conut granola

S avor y Cornme al-Chia Waf fles with Spicy Maple Syrup S e e de d Miso Swe et Potato Bre ad Miso is another gut-friendly ingredient, thanks to its naturally occurring probiotics, while pumpkin seeds are a great source of antioxidants, healthy fats, magnesium, iron, and zinc. ACT I V E T I M E 2 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 2 H O U R S , 5 0 M I N U T E S M A K E S 1 L OA F

cup plus 1 divided 1

tsp. olive oil,

cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. ground cinnamon tsp. kosher salt cup pure maple syrup

Chia seeds are a good source of protein, which helps build and repair muscle, as well as omega-3 fats, which may reduce inflammation that can lead to diabetes and heart disease. ACT I V E T I M E 1 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 1 5 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

2 Tbsp. chia seeds 1

cups fine stone-ground cornmeal 1 cup all-purpose flour

tsp. baking powder

tsp. baking soda

tsp. kosher salt 1 cup plain whole-milk Greek yogurt 2 Tbsp. olive oil, plus more for waffle iron

2 Tbsp. white miso paste

Pure maple syrup, for serving

1 Tbsp. pure vanilla extract

Crushed red pepper, for serving

2 large eggs 1 medium sweet potato, peeled and grated (1 cups) cup raw shelled pumpkin seeds (pepitas) oven to 350°F. Brush an 8 -by-4 -inch loaf pan with 1 teaspoon of the oil. Whisk flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt in a bowl and set aside. PREHEAT

maple syrup, miso, and vanilla in a large bowl. Whisk in eggs and cup of the oil until well combined; fold in sweet potato. Gradually add flour mixture, stirring until just combined. Transfer batter to the prepared pan.

WHISK

TOS S pepitas with remaining teaspoon oil in a small bowl and sprinkle over batter in pan. Bake until a skewer inserted in the center of loaf comes out clean, 55 to 60 minutes. Let cool in pan, about 30 minutes. Remove bread from pan and transfer to a wire rack. Let cool completely before slicing. Store tightly wrapped at room temperature for up to 5 days.

oven to 200°F. Preheat a waffle iron according to manufacturer’s instructions. Stir together chia seeds and 5 tablespoons water in a small bowl. Set aside to thicken, about 5 minutes. PREHEAT

whisk cornmeal, flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.

MEANWHILE,

yogurt, oil, chia mixture, and 1 cup water in a large bowl. Add cornmeal mixture and stir until just combined.

WHISK

coat preheated waffle iron with oil. Spoon about cup batter per square waffle onto hot waffle iron. Close lid and cook until golden and crisp, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove waffles from iron and transfer to a wire rack set inside a rimmed baking sheet; place in oven to keep warm. Repeat with remaining batter, brushing iron with oil as needed. (You should be able to make about 8 waffles total.) Waffles can be cooled completely and frozen for up to 1 month. Defrost in the toaster. LIGHTLY

Buck whe at, Almond, and Co conut Granola Buckwheat provides even more antioxidants than oats and may help reduce blood pressure and lower the risk of certain types of cancer. It’s also high in minerals like heart-healthy magnesium, which has been shown to improve sleep. ACT I V E T I M E 10 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 1 H O U R , 5 M I N U T E S MAKES 5 CUPS

cups buckwheat groats

cups old-fashioned rolled oats 1 cup sliced almonds 3 Tbsp. pure maple syrup 2 Tbsp. olive oil 1 Tbsp. virgin coconut oil, melted 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract 1 tsp. fennel seeds tsp. kosher salt 1 cup unsweetened flaked coconut

PREHEAT oven to 325°F. Stir together buckwheat, oats, almonds, maple syrup, olive oil, coconut oil, vanilla, fennel seeds, and salt in a large bowl. Spread in an even layer on a baking sheet. Bake until golden, about 20 minutes. Remove from oven and stir in flaked coconut. Return to oven and bake until deeply golden, 10 to 15 minutes. Let cool. Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 1 month.

maple syrup over warm waffles and top with a pinch of crushed red pepper.

DRIZZLE

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

the ye a r of letting go Adelaide Mestre thought that dealing with her late mother’s possessions would be simple. As with many things regarding her mother, it was complicated. BY STEVE FRIEDMAN I L LU ST R AT I O N S BY A N N E B E N T L E Y

AC Q UA I N TA N C E S A S K I F YO U ’ R E O K . Those who knew neither you nor your mother well are mostly pro forma—the squeezed hand, the furrowed brow. Her friends ask if your daughter loves the handmade dollhouse from her grandmother’s—your mother’s—place, the dollhouse you had loved so much. If your mother’s friends see you wince, they pretend not to notice. Your husband complains about the rose-andvine-wrapped white porcelain lamps on either side of your bed—the lamps you inherited from your mother—and wonders aloud why you don’t just sell them or give them away. Close friends tell you you’re lucky to possess such a rich trove of beautiful objects, how it must connect you to your mother. None of them understand. Barbara Bliss Moss Mestre died four years ago, two days after Christmas. She was 76, and you, Adelaide, her only daughter, were 45. It took you a year to empty your mother’s apartment of her belongings. Sometimes you feel like you’re still doing it.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

S H E H A D T R I E D T O P R E PA R E YO U,

ever since you were in your twenties. She lived on 92nd and Park, where you had grown up. You lived a five-minute walk away. She had a son by her first husband, but Ambler was five years older and hadn’t lived in New York City since you were 12. You would stop by to pick up a piece of music because you were a singer and performer, like your mother. You would meet on Sunday afternoons to attend theater matinees. You would talk about lip trills and tongue flaps and other vocal exercises you each practiced (your mother taught voice too). Your mother would ask about who you were dating, and you would dodge, partly because you knew she disapproved of all of them. (You weren’t crazy about her suitors either, and she had a number of them.) And each time, as you were finishing coffee or discussing what you liked about the play you had seen or talking about whatever man was in her life, near the end of the conversation your mother would tell you she needed to “go over where things were” in her apartment. She would muse about putting stickers on various objects. “It’s important, Addy,” she would say. She wanted you to know the monetary value of what you would inherit, just in case you would ever need to sell anything. More, she wanted you to appreciate the history behind what would one day be yours, to understand why everything was precious. “Yeah,” you would say, gathering your coat, edging toward the door, finishing your coffee. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Next time. I promise.” You can’t remember how many times you promised. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate your mother’s taste or the value of her possessions. She owned a Queen Anne desk with a glass cabinet and an ornate finial, and on it were silver letter openers, a crystal inkwell, gold antique fountain pens, a leather-bound first edition of Winnie the Pooh. On one wall hung a Gauguin. On a bookshelf was a 1910 score of Madame Butterfly signed by Puccini. Sitting on a table was a mahogany dollhouse with a working doorbell, a fireplace, and electric lights. Inside it were miniature silver candleholders, miniature figurines, and miniature place settings. At Christmas, your mother placed miniature skates and miniature skis on the porch, miniature gift boxes around the miniature Christmas tree. She covered the house with stretch cotton to approximate snow. At Easter, there were miniature bunnies, and Thanksgiving demanded a miniature turkey. In her bedroom was a three-drawer vanity table, where you had watched her apply her makeup and brush her hair when you were a little girl. One of the small drawers on the side held hairbrushes and ribbons. The small drawer on the other side held her favorite jewelry. The middle drawer held her makeup. There was a brown velvet kidney-shaped

82 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

couch, a white-and-gold Venetian-glass mirror that you had to be careful not to get too close to, fur coats, cubic zirconia brooches, and a set of 20 cut-glass crystal finger bowls that had been passed down from your great-grandmother to your grandmother to your mother. She had the contents of her apartment appraised, and she told you that if you sold everything—though she hoped you would never, ever want or need to—it would be worth half a million dollars. Knowing the objects would help you get fair value if, God forbid, you had to sell. B U T YO U D I D N ’ T WA N T T O K N OW.

You didn’t want to know because all the things felt heavy to you, and the more you knew, the heavier it all seemed. You didn’t want to know because your mother had such strong taste that you had trouble deciding what you liked and didn’t like. She treated even her rhinestone bracelets like the crown jewels. It sometimes felt as if what mattered was not how things were used but how they looked. Even the dollhouse. Especially the dollhouse. When you were a little girl, your best friend, Jenny, would squeal when she arrived at your door, and the two of you would run into the parlor, where Jenny would empty the house of the candleholders and the ﬁgurines and ﬂick the lights on and off, then rearrange everything. When she left, your mother would meticulously restore everything

to its correct position, then slide the plexiglass barrier she had specially ordered over the house to make sure no one touched it until you had another friend over. Oftentimes your apartment felt more like a museum than a home. You avoided the conversations about what your mother planned to leave you because you had spent too much of your childhood in thrall to and resentful of those things and because all the possessions seemed heavy and suffocating. You avoided the conversation because if you didn’t, it would be admitting that your mother would die. You had experienced enough death. You were 10 when your mother’s maternal grandmother died, and your mother had to handle everything because her own mother was sick. You remember furniture being delivered to the apartment—“more brown stuff”—and listening to your mother sounding aggrieved as she talked to her girlfriends on the phone. You rifled through the Queen Anne desk and found paperwork with words like “irrevocable” and “trust” and “power of attorney” and wondered what the words meant. When you were 13, your father died, and your mother sold his piano, and there was more paperwork. The next year, your mother’s mother died, and there was more furniture, more brown stuff, things moved. By the time you were 28, your mother had taken care of the possessions of her grandmother, her mother, your stepfather, and your father. You owned the three-drawer brass-handled vanity by then, as well as the brown velvet couch. You never wore jewelry, because all you knew was that you didn’t like gold, and you never bought furniture you liked, because you weren’t sure what you did like, and even if you had known, there was no space for it. You dropped out of college after a semester, started a singing career, and started seeing a therapist. You talked about your mother and your eating disorder and why you resented certain pieces of furniture so much, why anyone would resent any piece of furniture. You tried yoga and meditation. You traveled to India. Your mother didn’t like talking about feelings. Sometimes it seemed she didn’t know you at all. Even the things she wanted to give you didn’t seem connected to anything that mattered, certainly nothing that mattered to you. She wouldn’t let up about the finger bowls. She’d always manage to mention the finger bowls, in between grilling you about your love life and opining about how flat the lead in the performance the previous night was

and insisting that you two sit down to discuss all the things she had, all the things she wanted you to have. “Yeah,” you would say. “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.” When you were 38, at the urging of your then boyfriend—who knew all about your complicated relationship with your mother and who “lived in the Village,” as your mother never neglected to point out in the same tone of voice in which she might say someone “ate canned soup”—you took the vanity your mother had given you to a beach in East Hampton, and late one moonless June night, as a gentle breeze was just kicking up to a strong wind, you doused the delicate piece of furniture with lighter ﬂuid, then struck a match. You remember how it lit up the beach. You remember the crackle of the fire and the lapping of waves. You thought you were free.

YO UR MOTHER WO ULD TELL YO U SHE NEEDED TO “GO OVER WHERE THINGS W E R E ” I N H E R A PA R T M E N T. “ Y E A H ,” Y O U W O U L D S A Y. “ N E X T T I M E . I P R O M I S E . ”

BA R BA R A B L I S S M O S S M E S T R E

fainted in her apartment in October 2014 and was rushed to Lenox Hill Hospital. She was diagnosed with a blood infection. She had been tired and had been having trouble breathing. Doctors intubated her, and for four days, she wrote you notes. Former beaus visited, all well-dressed, all charming. When one tall, lanky one left, your mother scrawled something. “Handsome, right?” the note said, and you both smiled. Days later, she wrote you another note. “You have to pay my bills,” it said. The next day, another one. “Payments are due on one of my loans. Can you take care of it?” You didn’t think she was dying. She was sick, but she was strong. You don’t know if you had ever met anyone stronger. She held piquant opinions, opinions so ﬁerce she didn’t even consider them opinions but merely accurate, plainspoken assessments of the world. You were recently married and had a baby girl, and even though your husband had been born in Queens, your mother loved him and your child. But she wasn’t about to start parroting anyone’s silly, sentimental notions about life.

JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

Your mother was a great beauty, five-foot-seven, longlegged, dark, with a wide, strong jaw, lethal cheekbones, and black, uncompromising eyes. You bounced your little girl—curly-haired, chubby-cheeked, sticky-fingered Lucia—on your knee in the hospital, and Lucia laughed. “Isn’t she beautiful?” you asked your mother. “Well, I wouldn’t say beautiful, but she is remarkably cute.” After seven weeks in the hospital, she moved to an assisted-living facility. On Christmas Eve, Wednesday night, her longtime accompanist played piano for seven of your mothers’ girlfriends, and you had a party. You all sang together. Your mother wore an oxygen mask, but she removed it for “Silent Night.” When the “mother and child” line came, you snuck glances at each other. Three days later, Saturday morning, someone from the assisted-living facility called. You remember answering, but nothing else. A girlfriend who was visiting tells you that you screamed and slumped to the floor. That afternoon, you arrived at her two-bedroom apartment. You found sable coats and mink stoles and racks of evening gowns. You found hand-embroidered table cloths, the Puccini score, and all the first editions. You called your half-brother, who was in Myanmar. (He wouldn’t be back in New York City until the memorial service, two months later.) “I don’t want any of that s—,” he said. “If I were you, I’d hire a couple guys, box it up, and send it to the dump.” A girlfriend suggested you immediately make a written inventory. A distant cousin in California wrote you a letter suggesting that you contact an auctioneer he knew. One of your mother’s best girlfriends asked if she could have the fur coats. You listened politely, just as you had when your mother asked to discuss the future, and told them a version of what you had told her. You would get back to them. You would take care of it. There was no rush. It took a visit from “Uncle Philip,” an experienced archivist and close friend of your mother’s who knew the ins and outs of your mother’s apartment, to change your thinking. He took your hand as you both sat beneath the hand-cut Venetian-glass mirror. “Sweetheart,” he said, “there’s a lot to deal with here. This is important stuff. This is your history. This is going to be a big job.” You started with canceling the automatic monthly payments to her health club and her supplemental Medicare. That took a week. Then there were the credit cards, the

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social security, and other financial matters. Those took months. After that, things got difficult. You found every report card you and your half-brother had ever received, your father’s death certificate, another ex-husband’s death certificate, and her journals. Those first weeks, with 10-month-old Lucia on your knee frequently screaming, crying, laughing, or all three, you read how your mother had felt overwhelmed when you were a toddler, how she had despaired at the idea of singing again, how she had worried she was a bad mother and a bad musician and a bad wife, how she had worried that she would never be able to connect to her daughter, and you wept and vowed to delay further journal reading until later. You tried on every single tube of lipstick she owned, every color. She had always tried to convince you that bright pink would look good on you. You looked in the mirror. She was wrong. You threw away 45 of the tubes and kept 60. You kept her pink leather wallet. For the next year, you spent five days a week in taxis with Lucia, going to and from your mother’s apartment, searching, cleaning, organizing, often with Philip. One day you returned to your apartment with sweaters, another day with scarves, another day with handembroidered linens that had belonged to your maternal great-grandmother. You discovered more than 100 purses, Gucci knockoffs that vendors sold on the street. You discovered one big fake-leather purse filled with three other fake-leather purses. You found more than 50 “Gifts with Purchase,” Lancôme and Estée Lauder bags filled with makeup samples. You found bags of never-worn lingerie and underwear, bags of never-worn bras. You took most of it home, along with the porcelain lamps and the Venetian-glass mirror, and bags and bags of costume jewelry. There was so much. After a crying session over Skype with Helle, a girlfriend who lived in Norway, Helle flew to New York City, accompanying you to your mother’s apartment. Helle was strong, almost as no-nonsense as your mother had been. Keep these jewelery and clothes. Donate those. You nodded. You nodded some more. That’s exactly what you would do. You separated things into piles: keep, donate, and sell. The day Helle flew home, you called another girlfriend to review your piles. And after that girlfriend weighed in, you rearranged everything. You weren’t free at all.

THE PRICELESS VICTORIAN FURNITURE A P PA R E N T L Y H A D A P R I C E A F T E R A L L . The appraisers you hired taught you a few things. First, Puccini apparently signed lots of musical scores. Madame Butterfly fetched $1,400. Also, the priceless Victorian furniture your mother loved apparently had a price after all. And while the antique desk with the glass cabinet and the ornate finial was technically an antique, it was neither as old nor as rare as your mother had thought. The contents of your mother’s apartment weren’t worth half a million dollars. They were worth $50,000. You took the furs. You stored the dollhouse. You gave the finger bowls to charity. You filled up eight boxes of music and donated it to the music department at New York University; filled another box and sent it to your mother’s favorite student, an opera singer in Germany; another box to her former accompanist in Florida. And then the apartment was empty except for things you didn’t want, and you doubted anyone else would. That’s when you called a man Uncle Philip called “the broom-sweep guy,” the man who comes in, looks at everything, offers you a price, and takes it all away. He came and offered you $2,000 for your mother’s last remaining possessions, and you said fine. An hour after he had left, you called him and begged him to return the sterling-silver postage-stamp dispenser. He did.

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T H E A N T I Q U E D E S K WA S N E I T H E R A S O L D N O R A S R A R E A S Y O U R M O T H E R H A D T H O U G H T.

YOU CARRY YOUR CASH

and credit cards in your mother’s pink leather wallet. It’s your wallet now. You wear the bras your mother never unwrapped. You think she would like that. You like it. Lucia is 5, cute and beautiful. Also, a handful. Once, when she was running around late at night screaming, you told her she needed to settle down and suggested she take some deep breaths, and she replied, “Mom! I’m not a lie-still-and-take-deep-breaths kind of girl. I’m rock and roll!” Like you and like your mother, Lucia is quite the singer. When she was 2½ years old, she had a repertoire of about 20 songs, including her favorite, “Let It Go,” from Frozen, complete with dramatic cape flipping. You used to love singing with her. But last year, when you were singing in the kitchen, she cried out, “Mommy, stop singing! Stop!” When you asked her why, she said, “Because I want to be the most beautiful singer!” You organize your family’s possessions once a year, sorting what you want to keep, what you want to donate or sell, and what you want to set aside for your daughter. You took the Venetian-glass mirror that your mother cherished and that no one was supposed to get close to and you put it in Lucia’s room. You took your mother’s drawers full of cubic-zirconia bracelets and shiny metal tiaras and glass necklaces that she hoarded and guarded and you threw them in some plastic jewelry boxes you had bought at T.J. Maxx. They serve as Lucia’s dress-up toys. She puts them on and looks at herself in the mirror. You tell her she should get as close as she wants; it’s just a piece of glass. You tell her the mirror was Grandma’s and so were the dress-up toys and so was the daybed that you fashioned from the headboard on Grandma’s bed, and Grandma would be so happy if she could see how much fun Lucia was having with all of it. The dollhouse will stay in storage until you feel like Lucia is old enough not to destroy it, or you’re relaxed enough to let her destroy it. Whichever comes ﬁrst. You want your daughter to appreciate her inheritance, not to resent it. The men in your life are supportive about that, just as they’re supportive of your yearly inventories, your repurposing of the items that used to oppress you. Supportive, but not particularly empathetic. “Sure, honey,” your husband says, then asks if you have thought about getting rid of the damn porcelain lamps. Your half-brother is more to

the point: “I would have just sold it all, and what I couldn’t, I would have given away. Boom. Done. Easy.” There’s one person who would understand exactly what you’re going through, who felt the heavy, exquisite weight of family history, the joys and challenges of raising an independent, strong-willed daughter. It was nearly half a year after you and your half-brother sold your mother’s apartment before you could return to her journals. You wanted to better understand her because she was your mother, of course, but also because you had written a musical about her and your father. You wanted to explore how, and why, she had struggled to balance her artistic ambitions with the powerful need she felt to please others. You found lyrics of songs she had written; cabaret sets for shows she had wanted to perform but never did; grand, aching hopes about fame and creative success; and her worry that motherhood might get in the way of ever attaining either. You found short stories too. One story was narrated by a 13-year-old girl on Christmas morning, a lonely child who was afraid of disappointing her parents, of breaking things, of expressing her opinions—a pretty, boy-crazy girl doing her best to be polite to everyone, especially her mother. The mother in the story was worried but didn’t like to talk about her feelings, and the little girl in the story hoped no one noticed how she couldn’t stop eating sticky buns, praying that no one would know she was planning to throw up right after she opened her presents. All those years thinking your mother didn’t understand you. What a waste. There was another story about a mother struggling to connect with her polite, sensitive, sometimes difficult daughter, a young woman who bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend, just as her mother had, a woman who sought meaning in art, and beauty, and love, just as her mother had, and even in spiritual practices the mother wanted to understand but couldn’t. In the story, the young woman announces plans to travel to India, to study with a guru. The mother is alarmed but doesn’t know what to do. The day before the daughter is to leave, the mother offers her, as a gift, her most prized possession. Her finger bowls. The daughter says she’ll take them but never does.

Mike Stanton, CFP, managing director, Alpine Private Capital

HOW TO GET ORGANIZED

We asked financialand estate-planning experts for overlooked tips about how to prepare for a parent’s end of life or your own. This is what they said. Amy Pickard, president and CEO, Good to Go! “I tell my clients that you never see a U-Haul behind a hearse. It’s important to help your parents clean out their home with them while they are alive. This creates memories and inspires conversations that will help clarify what to do when the time comes. “If you don’t know how to start the conversation with your parents, begin by telling them, ‘I’m completing my advance planning paperwork, and I realized that you may not know my wishes. So I wanted to talk to you about what I want done in case of emergency or death. I also realize that I don’t know what you want done, so let’s talk about it so we’re both prepared.’ ”

“Consider drafting a letter of wishes, which complements an estate plan as non-binding guidance to the executor or trustee. This could include things to be avoided [such as investments in tobacco or those that may threaten the environment] and explanations about gifts or how to handle complex assets.”

Joseph K. Presley, chairman, president and CEO of Cumberland Trust “Know where key documents are. This could include everything from a last will and testament and trust documents to digital passwords for online bill paying, email, and social media accounts. “Have an idea of your loved one’s recurring expenses and set some cash aside to cover any of their bills while waiting for an estate to open. That process can take a month or more.” For more tips from Amy Pickard at Good to Go!, visit realsimple.com/goodtogo.

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SECRETS OF PEOPLE WHOSE HOUSES SMELL AMAZING Experts give us easy ways to eliminate the funk and bring in the fresh. Now isn’t that better? BY MARIA DEL RUSSO PHOTO GR APHS BY ANNA WILLIAMS

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Smell is often called humans’ most powerful sense,

TA C K L E THE B AD… DE AL WITH MOISTURE.

It’s the number one cause of household odors, says Rachel Hoffman, the author of the (bluntly yet inspirationally named) book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You’re Better Than Your Mess. Consider purchasing a hygrometer (like the digital thermo-hygrometer, $29; muji.us) and testing each room—if you discover a room with humidity above 60%, you may want to use a dehumidiﬁer. If needed, you can run more than one dehumidifier, but note that they can use a lot of energy: Start with one and see how it goes. If you live in a humid climate, avoid wall-to-wall carpeting or rugs, which can trap moisture, especially in areas like the kitchen and bathroom, Hoffman says.

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Consider keeping moistureabsorbing crystals in smaller areas that get damp, such as bathrooms and some closets (like the crystals from DampRid, $11, amazon.com). And keep an eye on more micro sources of moisture, such as sponges and towels: Replace sponges at least every one to two weeks, ensure clean towels are fully dry before folding and putting them away, and hang bath mats over the shower rod to help them dry.

O U T W I T H T H E O B V I OU S .

Spots like litter boxes, garbage cans, pet beds, and diaper pails are all places that give off funky smells. Duh, you might say, but unfortunately, the more time we spend around these things, the less likely we are to realize that they stink. “It’s called sensory adaptation, and it’s common

to all the senses,” says Leslie Stein, PhD, director of science communications at the Monell Chemical Senses Center. This “nose blindness” is actually adaptive, because when regular smells fade into the background and an unfamiliar scent pops up (like smoke), we notice it more. But it can also mean that your stuff smells and you don’t even know it. So it’s important to be proactive: Clean the inside of your garbage can (including the lid, if there is one) at least once a month, Hoffman suggests. Keep a bit of kitty litter at the bottom of the pail to absorb smells. Launder pet beds regularly, and scoop the litter box every day. And if you can, try to use small garbage pails in your home so you’re basically forced to take out the trash more regularly.

OPEN THE FRIDGE.

The ﬁrst course of action for a funky fridge should be pretty obvious: Toss anything that is past its prime. Hoffman says that some of the worst offenders are condiments— which people tend to think last forever—and leftovers. “They get pushed to the back and forgotten about,” she says. Do an inventory of your fridge at least every month to ensure the contents are fresh.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y PA M E L A D U N C A N S I LV E R F O R S A R A H L A I R D & G O O D C O M PA N Y

and good (and bad) smells tell us a lot about the world: what we should eat, even whom we should kiss. When it comes to our homes, if a space smells fresh, that’s a great sign. If the smell is bad? We feel uneasy. But the secret to a nose-friendly space isn’t to spray fragrance on top of yucky stuff: “A clean home should smell like nothing,” says Melissa Maker, the founder of the Clean My Space cleaning company, blog, and YouTube channel. For folks who get overwhelmed by too much fragrance (or who have allergies or asthma), the work may end at neutralizing bad odors. But for those who love a scent, we have ideas for you too.

Then give the interior of your fridge a thorough scrubbing. If you have removable shelves and drawers, pull them out and soak them in hot, soapy water. Wipe down the inside of the structure with a 1-to-1 mixture of hot water and white vinegar with a tiny drop of dish soap. Use a damp cloth to rinse. “Remember to only use cleaners that are food-safe inside your fridge,” says Hoffman. Stay away from bleach, she advises, as it’s difficult to properly dilute and rinse.

C L E A N S O F T S U R FA C E S .

Carpets, throw pillows, upholstery, bed linens, and window covers are magnets for smells. Once a spill dries or dirt gets wiped away, odor-causing bacteria can still stay behind. In carpets, a missed stain can lead to mold or mildew. Maker recommends having a professional steam-clean your upholstery and carpets once a year. If that’s not doable, try an at-home upholstery cleaner, like Woolite Fabric & Furniture Cleaning Foam ($11; amazon.com). For throw pillows, bed linens, and window covers, check the fabric care labels to see if they can be machine-washed. “But remember there are certain items best left to a pro to ensure the job gets done right,” she says. The easiest way to avoid smells in a carpet is to quickly attack any spill. Biological stains, like an accident from

T RY A N E U T R A L I Z E R .

a pet or a child, should be treated with an enzyme cleaner, such as Seventh Generation Natural Stain Remover Spray ($4; target.com), which breaks down bio messes more quickly. And while carpet shampooing is helpful, the easiest way to stay on top of carpet smells is good ol’ regular maintenance. As you vacuum and spot-treat your carpets more, the less likely they are to smell, Hoffman notes. “Try sprinkling the area with baking powder, let it sit for a few hours, and then vacuum,” says Donna Smallin Kuper, a certified housecleaning technician and the author of Clear the Clutter, Find Happiness.

BRING IN THE G O OD… O P E N T H E W I N D O W.

It’s the easiest way to bring freshness in, says Maker, especially if you have leftover cooking smells or lingering odors from home improvement projects such as painting. Opening a window makes your entire space feel cleaner and helps lift the mood in your home. If possible, open windows on multiple sides of your home to get a cross breeze. Even if it’s freezing outside, cracking a window for a short while can make a difference.

If you love the idea of a home that smells perfectly like nothing, then look for odor neutralizers that don’t add a scent. Our experts are fans of activated charcoal ﬁlters that come in small bags you can hang in stink-prone rooms or stash in a gym bag (like Air Purifying Bags from California Home Goods, $25 for 4; amazon.com). “They’re good especially in areas like diaper pails, garbages, and litter boxes,” says Maker. In a pinch, ﬁll your sink with hot water and a few drops of bleach, and drain it before company arrives. “Just the smell of cleaner will make people think your home is clean,” says Hoffman.

T H I N K B E YO N D THE CANDLE.

Scented candles are likely the most popular way to add fragrance to a home, and if you love them, stick with what you know—just use one or two at a time to avoid going overboard. But know that many experts prefer essential oil diffusers: They’re a cleaner

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way to scent your home than candles because they don’t give off soot or ash. Maker also prefers diffusers over plug-ins because they provide more natural smells. “A plug-in or spray says, ‘I’m covering something up,’ ” she says. “Essential oils are a more mild way to scent your home. It’s not overpowering or bombarding.” Diffusers are also easily customizable in a way candles aren’t, since you can combine your favorite essential oils to create a scent that’s perfectly you.

F I N D S U B T L E W AY S T O S C E N T.

Diffusers aren’t the only way to use essential oils. A few other DIY ideas from Maker: First, consider a fabric refresher spray. Mix half a cup of white vinegar, half a cup of rubbing alcohol, 1 teaspoon of cornstarch, and 20 drops of your favorite oil in a small spray bottle. Shake well before each use, and mist it over clothing or upholstery, ensuring that clothes dry completely before you fold them. Or try baking

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soda sachets, which absorb bad smells and add in good ones: Fill a coffee filter with baking soda, add about five drops of essential oil, and tie it off—then toss it in a drawer or anywhere that needs a refresh. Another pro tip: Next time you replace your furnace filter, add 10 to 20 drops of essential oil. The air will help disperse the scent throughout the space.

ST RO N G S C E N T S A R E N ’ T A L W AY S B E S T.

It’s a common misconception that in order for your home to smell “good,” the smell has to envelop you the second you walk through the door. The opposite is actually true, according to Lara Nixon, a partnership manager for Air Aroma, a company that helps brands and individuals scent their spaces. “More subtle smells are the ones that stick with people for longer,” she explains. So instead of walking into a spot and saying, “I smell peppermint,” you want to walk in and say, “That smells nice.” You’re after a general feeling of energy, relaxation, or whatever your intention for the

space is. This also ensures you’re taking your guests into consideration. Some may have allergies or sensitivities to strong smells, and you don’t want to make them uncomfortable in your home. For that reason, Nixon says it’s a good idea to stay away from overly sweet, cloying smells when scenting your home. If you love your sugar apple cinnamon candle, Maker suggests saving that for times when you’re home on your own. “I’m a fan of having a library of scents,” she says. Your sweet favorite can serve as your personal mood booster, which is exactly what a good smell should do. For times when you’re sharing your space, however, Maker suggests steering clear of sugary scents and sticking to more natural ones, like woods, florals, and citrus. “You can still get a similar feeling as you do with the sugary-smelling scents,” she says. “But the result will be longer lasting and more impactful.” In other words, a home that smells as good as it looks.

ADD SOME EDGE This neoprene moto jacket has a classic shape but a high-tech twist that your leather version doesn’t: elbow pleats for extra flexibility, plus built-in UV protection.

Comfort Zone YOUR FITNESS FAVORITES COME IN SURPRISINGLY CHIC, TAILORED STYLES. TAKE THEM FOR A SPIN OUTSIDE THE GYM.

TO BUY: Oliver Thomas Wingwoman tote, $109; theoliverthomas.com. Mission Statement Wing jacket, $425; missionstatement.com. Tory Sport Vertical-Block Tech Knit turtleneck, $228; torysport.com. Johnston & Murphy Jules sneaker, $168; johnstonmurphy.com.

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FASHION EDITOR

Flavia Nunez PHOTOGRAPHS BY

Nigel Cox STYLING BY

Peter Tran WRITTEN BY

Tamara Kraus

BUNDLE UP Ward off windy weather with insulated pieces like this fleece-lined wrap skirt. It works equally well paired with a cropped sweatshirt over tights or leggings for extra warmth. TO BUY: Nike Tech Packable hoodie, $130; six02.com. Sorel Kinetic Short Lace boot, $160; sorel.com. Uniqlo Windproof Warm-Lined Wrap skirt, $30; uniqlo.com.

SHINE ON Incorporate metallics to instantly jazz up a simple athleisure look. (And, yes, you can mix both gold and silver accents.)

TO BUY: Koral Aurum

Chromoscope jacket, $285; koral.com. Nike Sleeveless Training wrap, $70; nike.com. Adidas Originals Sparkle beanie, $24; six02.com. Gola Bullet Lustre Shimmer sneaker, $85; golausa.com.

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Think outside the gym with stylish white sneaker picks at realsimple.com/ whitesneakers.

TO BUY: Champion

Track pant, $55; champion.com. Cole Haan ZeroGrand All-Terrain Waterproof Hiker boot, $270; colehaan.com. Athleta Banner Peak vest, $158; athleta.com. Tracksmith Van Cortlandt singlet, $65; tracksmith.com.

GO OLD SCHOOL The tracksuit you rocked in college is back, but in prettier colors and more tailored cuts. For days when you’re putting in extra steps, layer a cinched puffer vest over a sweater or slip on a pair of eye-catching hiking boots.

NO FUSS

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JA N UA RY

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y A N N A H A M P T O N ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

Short days and cold nights may have you digging deep for dinner inspiration. We’ve got plenty of bright ideas to keep you warm: bowls of creamy polenta and sausage (page 104) make a comforting meal, while tender sweet potatoes and coconut kale keep things interesting (page 103). If you need a shortcut (don’t we all?), pick one of our favorite veggie burgers (page 107) and tuck it between two pieces of easy sandwich bread (page 108)—it’s nearly hands-off, promise. Or spread the slices with softened butter to eat alongside a big batch of meaty ragù (page 110). Suddenly the world doesn’t feel so cold after all.

Photograph by Victor Protasio

101

FOOD

Easy Dinner 1

Tapenade and red onion pizza ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Quick Cooking One Pan Vegetarian Family Friendly

1 lb. prepared pizza dough, at room temperature All-purpose flour, for work surface 1 Tbsp. olive oil, plus more for baking sheet 2 red onions, thinly sliced into rings 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar tsp. black pepper 8 oz. part-skim mozzarella, shredded (about 2 cups) 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped 3 Tbsp. olive tapenade

PREHEAT oven to 450°F with rack in lowest position. Roll dough to a 14-inch wide oval on a floured surface and transfer to a lightly oiled baking sheet; prick dough all over with a fork. Bake on bottom rack until dough begins to turn golden brown, 8 to 10 minutes.

heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over mediumhigh. Add onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 8 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in vinegar and pepper.

MEANWHILE,

onions, mozzarella, and garlic over crust, leaving a 1-inch border. Return to oven and bake until cheese is melted and crust is brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Spoon tapenade evenly over pizza and sprinkle with basil. SCAT TER

P E R S E RV I N G : 580 CALORIES, 21G FAT (8G SAT.), 36MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 26G PRO., 75G CARB., 1,191MG SOD., 6G SUGAR

102

Photographs by Victor Protasio

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y A N N A H A M P T O N ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

cup fresh basil leaves

sweet potatoes all over with a fork; place in a microwavable dish and cover with plastic wrap. Microwave on high for 5 minutes. Turn sweet potatoes over; microwave until tender, about 5 minutes more.

PRICK

heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add kale and chile and cook, stirring often, until slightly wilted, about 3 minutes. Stir in coconut milk and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, until kale is tender and creamy, about 6 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in lime juice, curry powder, and teaspoon of the salt.

MEANWHILE,

4 medium sweet potatoes 2 Tbsp. olive oil

Easy Dinner 2

Loaded sweet potatoes with coconut and kale ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Vegetarian Gluten-Free

2 bunches Tuscan kale, stems removed and leaves chopped 1 serrano chile, seeded and thinly sliced 1 13.66-oz. can coconut milk, shaken 2 tsp. fresh lime juice (from 1 lime) tsp. curry powder 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided cup fresh grapefruit juice 3 Tbsp. unsalted butter

sweet potatoes in half lengthwise; carefully scoop flesh into a large bowl, leaving shells intact. Mash together sweet potato flesh, grapefruit juice, butter, allspice, and remaining teaspoon salt until smooth. Spoon mixture into potato skins and top with kale and coconut.

CUT

tsp. ground allspice cup toasted unsweetened flaked coconut

P E R S E RV I N G : 688 CALORIES, 46G FAT (33G SAT.), 23MG CHOL., 12G FIBER, 11G PRO., 67G CARB., 682MG SOD., 11G SUGAR

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103

Easy Dinner 3

Creamy polenta with sausage and chard ACTIVE TIME 40 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 40 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Family Friendly

3 Tbsp. unsalted butter, divided 12 oz. Italian sausage (3 links) 2 bunches rainbow chard, stems chopped and leaves torn 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar 1 Tbsp. fresh thyme leaves tsp. crushed red pepper cup low-sodium chicken stock, divided 1 cup instant polenta tsp. kosher salt 1 tablespoon of the butter in a large skillet over medium-high until foamy. Add sausage and cook, turning occasionally, until browned, 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer to a plate, reserving drippings.

MELT

ADD chard to skillet and cook, stirring, until wilted, about 2 minutes. Return sausage to skillet and add vinegar, thyme, crushed red pepper, and cup of the stock. Cook, stirring occasionally, until sausage is cooked through and chard is tender and coated in sauce, 6 to 8 minutes.

bring 4 cups water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Whisk in polenta. Reduce heat to low and simmer, whisking, until thickened, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in salt, remaining cup stock, and 2 tablespoons butter. Serve polenta topped with sausage, chard, and sauce.

MEANWHILE,

P E R S E RV I N G : 375 CALORIES, 16G FAT (8G SAT.), 48MG CHOL., 6G FIBER, 20G PRO., 30G CARB., 1,174MG SOD., 3G SUGAR

104

FOOD

Easy Dinner 4

Moroccan-spiced fish ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Healthy Pick One Pan Gluten-Free

12 small carrots, halved lengthwise if large 1

lb. fingerling potatoes, halved lengthwise 1 lemon, thinly sliced tsp. black pepper 3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided

tsp. kosher salt, divided tsp. ground cumin tsp. ground coriander tsp. ground allspice 4 6-oz. skinless cod fillets 3 Tbsp. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

oven to 425°F. Toss carrots, potatoes, lemon, pepper, 2 tablespoons of the oil, and 1 teaspoon of the salt on a rimmed baking sheet; arrange in a single layer. Roast until potatoes are almost tender, 15 to 20 minutes.

PREHEAT

stir together cumin, coriander, allspice, and remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a small bowl. Rub the mixture evenly over cod and season with remaining teaspoon salt.

MEANWHILE,

baking sheet from oven and increase heat to broil. Nestle cod fillets among vegetables and return to oven. Broil on top rack until fish is just cooked through and vegetables are tender, 6 to 8 minutes. Top with parsley. REMOVE

P E R S E RV I N G : 395 CALORIES, 13G FAT (2G SAT.), 85MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 38G PRO., 35G CARB., 788MG SOD., 5G SUGAR

FOOD

2 Tbsp. canola oil 6 4-oz. boneless, skinless chicken thighs, quartered

Easy Dinner 5

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 large yellow onion, chopped

Chicken adobo ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Gluten-Free Family Friendly

6 cloves garlic, finely chopped cup low-sodium chicken stock cup white wine vinegar 2 Tbsp. tamari 1 tsp. orange zest plus cup fresh juice (from 1 orange) 1 cup chopped fresh pineapple, divided cup chopped fresh cilantro Steamed rice, for serving

HEAT oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Season chicken with teaspoon of the salt. Add chicken to skillet and cook, turning occasionally, until browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer chicken to a plate; reserve drippings in the skillet. ADD onion and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in stock, vinegar, tamari, orange zest and juice, half of the pineapple, and remaining teaspoon salt. BRING mixture to a boil. Return chicken to skillet and reduce heat to medium; simmer until chicken is cooked through and sauce is thickened, about 6 minutes.

over rice; top with remaining pineapple and cilantro.

SERVE

P E R S E RV I N G : 497 CALORIES, 15G FAT (3G SAT.), 160MG CHOL., 3G FIBER, 40G PRO., 50G CARB., 927MG SOD., 9G SUGAR

106 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

CO OK WITH COZI Get Real Simple’s easy weeknight-dinner recipes in Cozi, a free meal-planning and organizing app from Meredith Corporation (available on iTunes and Google Play).

FOOD

R o a d Te s t

Veggie Burgers W E D U G I N T O 4 5 M E AT L E S S

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PA T T I E S T O F I N D O U T W H I C H H E A LT H Y P I C K S W E R E B E ST FO R YO U R B U N S. By Ananda Eidelstein

B E S T M U S H RO O M

H I L A R Y ’ S PA C K A G I N G : P E T E R A R D I T O ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

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Hilary’s Adzuki Bean Veggie Burger Tasters loved this tender patty’s stellar crust. A combination of small red beans, millet, and coconut oil adds up to rich, buttery flavor. TO BUY: $4 for 2; at grocery stores.

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JA N UA RY 2019 R E A L S I M P L E

107

FOOD

Make It Yourself A D E L I C I O U S E SS E N T I A L T H AT’ S B E T T E R H O M E M A D E T H A N STO R E B O U G H T. W E ’ L L P RO V E I T. T H I S M O N T H : N O - K N E A D S A N D W I C H B R E A D By Paige Grandjean

cups bread flour, plus more for work surface

cups whole milk, at room temperature

Tbsp. granulated sugar

tsp. active dry yeast (from 1 0.25-oz. envelope) 6 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted, divided

tsp. kosher salt Cooking spray

together flour, milk, sugar, yeast, and 5 tablespoons of the melted butter in a large bowl. Stir with a wooden spoon until no dry spots remain. Cover the bowl with a clean dish towel and let stand 20 minutes. Add salt and stir until dough is sticky and elastic, about 2 minutes. Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and transfer to the refrigerator; chill for 8 hours or overnight. STIR

coat an 8 -by-4 inch loaf pan with cooking spray. Turn chilled dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Using lightly floured hands, shape dough into a rough oval. (Dough may be difficult to shape.) Fold LIGHTLY

108 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

short ends of oval in toward the center, pressing gently to seal. Working in the same direction as the previous fold, fold dough in half over itself, pressing gently to seal and form an 8-inch-long log. Transfer dough, seam side down, to prepared loaf pan, gently encouraging it into the pan. Cover loosely with plastic wrap that has been lightly coated with cooking spray. Let rest in a warm place (like the top of the refrigerator) until dough has risen just over the lip of the pan, about 2 hours. During the final 30 minutes of resting, preheat oven to 375°F with oven rack in lower third. until bread is golden brown and a thermometer inserted in center of loaf registers 200°F, 40 to 45 minutes, tenting with aluminum foil after 30 minutes if bread is browning too quickly. Invert loaf onto a wire rack; turn right-side up and brush top with remaining 1 tablespoon melted butter. Let cool completely before slicing.

BAKE

Photograph by Victor Protasio

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y A N N A H A M P T O N ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 HOURS, 15 MINUTES SERVES 10

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FOOD

Big Batch

Fast Bolognese ACTIVE TIME 2 HOURS

TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS

SERVES 12

cup (1 stick) unsalted butter 2 yellow onions, chopped 6 carrots, chopped 12 cloves garlic, thinly sliced 1

lb. ground sirloin

lb. ground pork 1 cup dry white wine 1 28-oz. can tomato puree 1 28-oz. can whole peeled tomatoes 12 fresh basil leaves 2 dried bay leaves

Tbsp. kosher salt tsp. crushed red pepper 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar

butter in a large Dutch oven or pot over medium-high. Add onions, carrots, and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 7 to 8 minutes. Add beef and pork and cook, stirring and breaking up with a wooden spoon, until no longer pink and just cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes.

A sauce this tasty deserves only the best: Cook pasta perfectly with the tips at realsimple.com/ perfectpasta.

ADD wine and increase heat to high. Bring to a boil and cook until liquid reduces by half, 6 to 8 minutes. Add tomato puree, whole tomatoes and their juices, basil, bay leaves, salt, and crushed red pepper, breaking up tomatoes with a spoon. Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer, stirring often, until thickened and reduced to 8 cups, about 1 hours. Discard bay leaves and stir in vinegar. Store tightly covered in the refrigerator for up to 5 days or freeze for up to 3 months. P E R S E RV I N G : 391 CALORIES, 26G FAT (12G SAT.), 98MG CHOL., 3G FIBER, 23G PRO., 16G CARB., 1,090MG SOD., 8G SUGAR

Recipe by Robin Bashinsky 1 10 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

Photograph by Victor Protasio

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y A N N A H A M P T O N ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y A U D R E Y D AV I S

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The Struggle Is Real

If Language Phrase Books Reflected Actual Travel Experiences... By Shannon Reed

FRENCH

S PA N I S H

RU S S I A N

I TA L I A N

Mon Dieu, non, je ne connais pas ces enfants qui traversent le Louvre à toute vitesse. Ils sont plutôt mal élevés, non? My goodness, no, I don’t know those kids running through the Louvre at top speed. They are rather badly behaved, no?

¿Hay alguna posibilidad de que este sea uno de esos países donde la gente trabaja de forma conjunta para criar a los niños y que no tenga que lidiar con esto? Any chance this is one of the countries where people work together collectively to raise all the children so I don’t have to deal with this?

Pozhaluysta, naprav’te menya v blizhaysheye mesto, chtoby kupit’ gelevyye stel’ki, leykoplastyr’i tu ortopedicheskuyu obuv’, kotoruyu ya poklyalsya, chto nikogda ne budu nosit’. Please point me to the nearest place to buy gel insoles, adhesive bandages, and the kind of shoes I swore I would never wear.

Perché volevamo che vedessero il mondo e perché siamo pazzi. Altre domande? Because we wanted them to see the world, and because we are fools. Any other questions?

GERMAN Ich weiß die herzliche Begrüßung wirklich zu schätzen, doch alles, was wir benötigen, ist ein Ort, an dem wir 50 Geräte aufladen können. Vielen Dank. I really appreciate the warm welcome, but all we need is a place to charge 50 devices, thanks. Ich bin sicher, dass deine Herangehensweise besser ist, aber auf diese Art werden sie es niemals essen. I’m sure your way is better, but they’ll never eat it that way.

1 12 R E A L S I M P L E JA N UA RY 2019

¿Qué nos trae a tu ciudad? Pues un GPS con unas indicaciones bastante liosas, para ser exactos. What brings us to your town? A series of confusing GPS directions, actually.

D U TC H Uw dichtstbijzijnde en grootste toilet met meest privacy, alstublieft. Your nearest, largest, and most private toilet, please.

FINNISH Kananugetit. Kaikki kananugetit. Vain kananugetteja. Jokainen kananugetti. Kananugetit. Chicken nuggets. All the chicken nuggets. Only chicken nuggets. Every chicken nugget. Chicken nuggets.

P O RT U G U E S E Na sua opinião, este local turístico vale o esforço que é necessário para lá chegar? In your opinion, is this tourist site possibly worth the effort it takes to get to it?

GA E L I C Tá an-bhrón orainn. Is féidir linn airgead tirim a thabhairt duit dó sin. We are deeply sorry, and we can give you cash for that.

Illustration by Joel Holland

Vacay

SUBMIT YOUR ENTRY BY MARCH 31, 2019

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Savings up to 55% off of the published rate. Rates may vary by date. Offer valid for new bookings made by March 31, 2019 for travel through December 20, 2019. Kids stay free for travel based on a minimum 3 night stay, 1 free child per 1 adult paid, limited up to 2 children per room. Children aged 12 and under. Kids stay free offer valid for travel April 29 through December 20, 2019. Blackout dates July 5 through August 10, 2019. Other blackout dates may apply. Offer might be changed or withdrawn at any time. Not responsible for errors or omissions. Other restrictions may apply. ©2019 Panama Jack. ©2019 Playa Hotels & Resorts is the owner and exclusive operator of Panama Jack Resorts. All rights reserved. PLA07221118

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