RS - April 2016 by Lawrence Ambrocio

realsimple LIFE MADE EASIER

SPRING CLEAN YOUR LIFE Easy tips to refresh your home and calm your mind + TE ACH YOUR KIDS TO TIDY UP! 25 SECRE TS TO SUCCE SS

BE T TER HAIR WITH HALF THE EFFORT OLD-FA SHIONED NICE TIE S THAT DE SERVE A COMEBACK FIND A FL AT TERING NEW WORK DRE SS PAGE 123

APRIL 2016

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“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”

Photograph by GS

APRIL 2016

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GALLERY STOCK

E R M A B O M B EC K , I N H E R C O LU M N , AT W I T’ S E N D ( O C TO B E R 1987)

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YO UR MONTHLY D OSE OF USEFUL TIDBIT S, TIMELY T RIVIA, AND C ATCHY CONVER S ATION STARTER S

How many tax returns were iled electronically in 1986, the irst year that this method was ofered by the Internal Revenue Service. When ive inaugural tax preparers from three cities agreed to participate (few had conidence in this new system), they had to transmit the information to the IRS by modem, over phone lines. Well, actually: They had to call a special number at the IRS, and an employee would then plug the phone into a modem with a tape drive. Once the transmission was complete, the tape was transferred to a mini computer for processing. While no one would claim that iling taxes in 2016 is easy, the 128 million who choose to e-ile will see fewer mistakes (e-iling is 20 times more accurate than paper) and faster returns: 90 percent will get their refunds in 21 days, compared with an average of 41 days for paper ilers who ask for paper checks.

41%

25,000

2,500 6,000

MILLION

3 /10 The proportion of Americans who confess that they often clean their hotel rooms or vacation rentals upon arrival, according to a September 2015 survey by Jelmar, a householdcleaning company. A spotless home-awayfrom-home is so important to travelers that 86 percent say that when checking out accommodations online, they consider cleanliness reports to be one of the top criteria, possibly more critical than photos. Some additional findings: 84 percent believe “a dirty toilet is the worst thing you could see in a hotel bathroom,” 8 out of 10 say they would rather give up Internet service for the entire length of the vacation (the horror!) than stay in a dirty room, and more than half say they would pay extra to be guaranteed a spiffy space.

The number of trees that the Arbor Day Foundation planted in America’s 155 national forests over the last two decades to reforest areas afected by disease, wildires, and pesky insects, like the pine beetle and the gypsy moth. The milestone number was reached this past January. Since the foundation’s inception, 44 years ago, it has sourced, planted, and cultivated more than 250 million new trees across America— in cities, yards, and parks as well as forests. Earth Day is April 22. Join the movement by planting your own tree, giving a seedling to someone else (makes a great wedding gift!), or donating $25 at arborday.org so the foundation can add another 25 trees to its impressive grand total.

Written by

YEARS

How far back two wellknown fairy tales— Beauty and the Beast and Rumpelstiltskin— can be dated, reports a January 2016 study published in the journal Royal Society Open Science. Researchers examined 275 tales chosen from a folklorist index of more than 2,000 across hundreds of cultures. By tracing the language used in Beauty and the Beast and Rumpelstiltskin to its linguistic roots, they discovered that these tales originated alongside the development of Western languages. In other words, they may have been spun as far back as the Bronze Age— and not by Disney, as your kids may think. How’s that for “Once upon a time…”?

N.Jamiyla Chisholm Illustration by

Darling Clementine

APRIL 2016

REALSIMPLE.COM

The percentage of American pet owners who claimed that their animal’s presence in their beds didn’t bother them or even helped them sleep better, reports an October 2015 study published by the Mayo Clinic. Of the 150 people queried, one described her two dogs as “bed warmers,” and another said she’s more content when her dog sleeps by her feet under the covers. A cat owner claimed that she did “not mind” when her cat curled up on her chest. Only 20 percent growled that their pets’ presence was disruptive. Common complaints included whimpering, snoring, and excessive squirming. One woman said that her parrot consistently squawked at 6 A.M. Show your pets some extra love on April 11 when two holidays honor them—National Companion Animal Day and National Pet Day.

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Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Introducing the newly redesigned Volkswagen Passat with Blind Spot Monitor, one of seven available Driver Assistance features.* Passat. Where family happens.

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SPRING-CLE AN YOUR LIFE ......................61 04. 2016

ON THE COVER Spring-clean your life: Easy tips to refresh your home and calm your mind 61 Teach your kids to tidy up! 111 Better hair with half the effort 98 Old-fashioned niceties that deserve a comeback 172 Find a flattering new work dress 123 Cover Photograph by

David Prince Floral Design by

Nicolette Owen Prop Styling by

Robyn Glaser D EC O R AT I N G W I T H C O LO R

EASY WEEKNIGHT ME AL S ...................... 189

(LOTS OF IT) ............... 156

3 I N V I T I N G WAY S T O M A K E T H E B E D . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 1

APRIL 2016

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Life Lessons GOOD READ

Life Lessons essay contest winner Diane Penney writes about the single decision that changed her life . . . . . . . 4 3

PAG E 172

MODERN MANNERS

THOUGHTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Catherine Newman on loved ones who body-shame, fork-and-knife etiquette, and undesirable gifts . . . . . . . .

THE SIMPLE LIST . . . . . . . . 1 0

EXPERTISE

EDITOR’S NOTE . . . . . . . . . 2 1

5 tricks to being a better judge of character . . . . . . . . . . .

Your Words

SPRING-CLEAN YOUR LIFE

A top-to-bottom guide to refreshing your home, revamping your habits, and clearing your mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 1

the Realist

the Guide

NEW USES FOR OLD THINGS 27

NOW WHAT?!?

Smart solutions for life’s little disasters . . . . . . . . . 2 8 DRUGSTORE CHEAT SHEET

HOME

FASHION 28 GREAT WORK DRESSES

Make over your bed with these stylish tricks . . . . . 8 1

Chic choices for every size and shape . . . . . . . . 1 2 3

THE VETS WILL SEE YOU NOW

HEALTH

Food

THE ENEMY WITHIN

5 EASY DINNERS . . . . . . . 1 8 9

Inlammation 101 . . . . . 1 3 3 THINGS COOKS

.. 90

5-MINUTE TRAINER

BETTER BREAKFAST

PRETTY SMART . . . . . . . . . 9 3

WORK & MONEY

............. 32

10 TRICKS FOR GORGEOUS, LOW-MAINTENANCE HAIR

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

Feminism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 4

ROAD TEST

Mayonnaise . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 6

Foundation

LITTLE HELPERS . . . . . . . . 3 8

MONEYWISE

........... 105

The savvy new way to give cash gifts . . . . . . . . 1 4 6

FAMILY HOW TO FINALLY GET YOUR KIDS TO CLEAN UP

PRODUCTIVITY PRIMER

A foolproof plan for all ages and stages . . . . . . . 1 1 1

The secret behind time management . . . . . . . . . 1 5 0 ASK BUCKY . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 3

Features THE BRIGHT SIDE

Decorating with color doesn’t have to be complicated. One cheerful Charleston home shows the way . . . . . . . 1 5 6 RELEARNING TO DRIVE

While overcoming her long-term phobia, Marjorie Ingall inds some unexpected roadside wisdom . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 6 ALL ABOUT THE BASE Our topseven tested, vetted foundation picks, page 105

OLD-FASHIONED NICETIES FOR THE MODERN WORLD

Things were more gracious back then. 12 retro behaviors that deserve a comeback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 2 DINNER JUST GOT SAUCY

From Smoky Salsa Verde to Yogurt-Dill Sauce, six recipes to top your basic chicken, steak, or ish supper . . . . . . . 1 7 8

APRIL 2016

Hot Cross Buns . . . . . . . 2 0 2

THE VIEW FROM HERE

Mae Tai O’Malley, attorney and founder of Paragon Legal . . . . . 1 4 5

Less is deinitely more . . 9 8

THE STAPLE

KNOW . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 0 0

Plié squat . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 3

BEAUTY TREND TO TRY

THE CHAMBRAY EFFECT Whether it’s bangles, a blouse, or an oversize bag, incorporate this stylish spring staple into your look for a trendy appeal, page 32

REST EASY

Your vexing pet questions, answered

A dermatologist reveals her favorite products . . 3 0 Chambray

Special Section

If you knew you wouldn’t fail, what would you try? . . . . . . . . . 2 3

Kale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

REALSIMPLE.COM

A LIFE IN FULL

Nicole Brewer Gurganious: mom and itness instructor . . . . . 2 0 6

BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT.™

3,2, 1...done! Eva Longoria

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New on realsimple.com VISIT THE SITE FOR E XCLU SIVE IDE A S, TIP S, AND WAYS TO MAKE LIFE E A SIER—E VERY DAY.

@ W O M E N I R L WOMENIRL IS OUR ATTEMPT AT INJECTING SOME MUCH NEEDED

#WomenIRL

REALNESS INTO EVERYDAY LIFE. WE ASKED FOLLOWERS TO SHOW US THEIR MESSIEST SPACES USING #CLUTTERIRL.… AND IT LOOKS AS IF THERE’S A LOT OF SPRING-CLEANING TO DO!

O N FAC E B O O K AND T WIT TER

@realsimple

WE ASKED: @SIMPLIFY ME_ This

is my kids’ room right now. I had a great morning with a successful four-hour declutter session with a client… I arrived home to this.

What’s your least favorite chore of all time? (And it’s not just you— everyone hates laundry.) Nini Okey-Nwamara I would clean the grossest toilet, dust the dustiest window seals, mow the weediest lawn, and cook for 20,000 people before I would do anything having to do with laundry.

Mirjana Ivanovska Ironing! So I promised myself never to buy anything that needs to be ironed.

I T’ S S P R I N G - C L E A N I N G T I M E Visit realsimple.com/springcleaning for tips and tricks that will make decluttering and deep-cleaning easier than ever, including: • The secret to cleaning your bathroom mirror • Tiny organizing moves to make your home so much neater • Seven brilliant apps that will help you achieve a clutter-free space • A pantry makeover that is totally doable

APRIL 2016

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B O T T O M R I G H T: M A U R A M C E VO Y/O F F S E T

Kelly Thornsberry Burton Making the bed—it is pointless. Why does it have to be made anyway? You’re just going to get back in it at the end of the day.

#freethefantasy

calvinklein.com/fragrances bon-ton

free the fantasy

Where will color take you?

Discover a new world of color with the very best paint. Visit your neighborhood Sherwin-Williams store or sherwin-williams.com/color.

IF YOUR CLEANING AMBITIONS EXTEND BEYOND WINDOWS THIS SPRING, TURN TO PAGE 61 TO GET STARTED.

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P H O T O G R A P H BY P E R R Y H A G O P I A N ; H A I R BY PA U L WA R R E N U S I N G R E N E F U R T E R E R FO R A R T D E PA R T M E N T; M A K E U P BY M E L I S S A S I LV E R FO R M AY B E L L I N E N E W Y O R K . BY M A L E N E B I R G E R B LO U S E .

It’s not that I don’t appreciate springcleaning windows. After all, there’s a weird trick your mind plays on you when you look out a clean window—that is, you believe (briefly, irrationally) that you have a clear view of the world and what it all means. Ha! But this month, spring-cleaning is about much more than windows. Blame it on a mild winter or a (brief, irrational) spurt of energy, but suddenly I want to spring-clean everything. Mind, body, spirit! Wallet, appliances, winter clothes! Husbands, children—wait, did I really say that? Anyway, lucky for me, the geniuses here at Real Simple produced a special “Spring-Clean Your Life” section to help. And speaking of those geniuses, here’s what some of them want to spring-clean.

My car—and my habit of using it as an extra room. It makes sense to store certain things in there, but those things can turn on you and take over, so when you need to load groceries you are at their mercy. DANIELLE CL ARO, Deputy editor

iPhone/iPad overuse for my family. There’s a strange silence that falls over the house when the kids (and parents) fall into the wormhole. I want to bring order and limits to device use—which only drains brain cells and keeps us from far more nourishing activities! CASEY STENGER, Photo director

Dinner Made Simple 35 Everyday Ingredients, 350 Easy Recipes by the Editors of

LOOK: OUR NEW COOKBOOK! Say you have some chicken cutlets. Or kale. How can you turn them into a fast, easy, interesting meal? Dinner Made Simple gives you 10 delicious recipes for a slew of everyday ingredients, from apples to zucchini. Available April 19 wherever books are sold.

@KVANOGTROP

Two specific things: my plants and my spices. I want to prune the plants, wipe down the leaves, and replant all the ones that need larger pots. As for spices, I want to inally organize the shelf where they constantly fall out on us because they’re all in diferentsize, diferent-shape containers! I love books, and I’m not in any way sorry about that. But I am sorry I don’t have more space. I ask myself, am I so attached to this book that checking it out from the library would not be enough? PAMEL A GROSSMAN, Contributing copy editor

My bathroom. As a beauty editor, I bring home way too many products. It’s gotten to the point where my husband won’t let me bring something home unless I throw something out. CHELSEA BURNS, Associate beauty editor

DINA R AVVIN, Senior designer

All of my extraneous possessions. We bought our irst house last summer and have been slowly going through all of our outgrown items—and items we’ve had stored in my in-laws’ attic forever. NAOMI LINDBERG, Senior photo editor

I would like to organize my pictures, actually get some printed, and make some albums. I was so good at it when my daughter was born, but it’s just a hot mess now. VICTORIA SANCHEZ-LINCOLN, Fashion director

APRIL 2016

REALSIMPLE.COM

CORRECTION

In our March issue, we published an article titled “45 Books for the Trying, Transitional Times of Growing Up,” which included the children’s book 10,000 Dresses by Marcus Ewert. But in recommending Ewert’s book, we committed an insensitive error. Marcus Ewert wrote to Real Simple, explaining, “Whoever wrote the synopsis for 10,000 Dresses really missed the boat. ‘This is about a boy who dreams of dresses...’ No. This book isn’t about a boy at all. It’s a book about a trans GIRL. That’s kind of the entire point of the book.” Marcus Ewert, of course, is right: Real Simple missed the boat. Our apologies to Mr. Ewert, and to our readers, for this mistake.

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Q. If you knew you wouldn’t fail, what would you try?

A. I would be a fighter pilot. I have loved planes since I was four years old and am fascinated by every aspect (lift, drag, etc.). I have been an elementary-school teacher for 35 years and have enjoyed teaching my students about flight. What an absolute thrill it would be for me! CAROLYN SIL AY, Fort Myers, Florida

Work on a ranch. THERE IS SOMETHING SO APPEALING ABOUT THE OPEN LAND AND BEING OUT IN NATURE WITH ANIMALS. I’M SURE IT’S HARD WORK, AND NOT QUITE WHAT I’M ENVISIONING, BUT HOW FUN TO GIVE IT A TRY. KIMBERLY BARTA, Puyallup, Washington

I’d go back to college and try out for the football team. @KJCATOE

If I knew I wouldn’t fail, I’d move to New York and try out for Saturday Night Live. I wanted to be Lucille Ball when I grew up, but I didn’t have the gas money or the conidence to make that trip.

Illustration by

Dan Page

MELISSA MANESS FOSTER, Portageville, Missouri

I’d try my hand at home renovation.

When I was a kid, my dad and I used to watch This Old House.* As an adult, I still watch from time to time and get excited when I see older homes being renovated and saved from demolition. I would pack up my husband and daughter and move to New England, where I could get my fix. AMANDA STANSELL, Cape Coral, Florida

*THIS OLD HOUSE IS OWNED BY TIME INC., REAL SIMPLE’S PARENT COMPANY.

APRIL 2016

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If I knew I couldn’t fail, I’d sew copious amounts of lowy festival garb and travel the country in an RV. I’d sell goods, live of the labor of my own hands, and experience as many music and hippie festivals as possible. I’d let my gypsy spirit roam. DEANNA LEAHY, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Make a soufflé. ELISA ROSIER, Ketchikan, Alaska

SUBSCRIBER OF THE MONTH

Sing the national anthem at a baseball stadium.

I’d be an excavator extraordinaire.

My dad was a pilot, and something he and I talked about up until his death ive years ago was me parachuting. I’ve wanted to do it since I was small but never have. If I knew I would come out with everything intact, I would sign up tomorrow!

DAWN HATCH, Bellingham, Washington

JOBY DUPUIS HER ANSWER: I would

LINDA K. SCHMIDT, Esbon, Kansas

Zip-line across the Grand Canyon.

circumnavigate the globe in a sailboat. Back in the late 90s, my husband and I lived in Italy for a couple of years. During this time, a group of sailors from all over the world wintered in our adopted hometown of Gaeta. We got to know them and sailed together several times. Their tales of trials and challenges inspired me. They lived simply, close to the sea, and sunsets were their happy hour. The awe-invoking moments that I spent on their boats have been the highlights of my life.

REDINA PUENTES, Monrovia, California

Discover my past. I WOULD FIND MY BIRTH MOTHER AND/OR SIBLINGS AND HOPEFULLY GET SO MANY QUESTIONS ANSWERED.

YO U R W O R D S

BEVERLY REITER, Tucson, Arizona

Create a haven for relaxation.

I’d open the wellness retreat I’ve dreamed of for years— absent of all electronics, in the presence of nature, and focused on living in the moment. Get your yoga mat, sip some kombucha, and enjoy singing “Kumbaya”! NICOLE ROSE WEAR, Portland, Oregon

I’ve always wanted to be able to skateboard.

ROSEMARY BONADIES, Whittier, North Carolina

Ask Bradley Cooper to marry me! I’ll work something out with my husband. C. Y., Ocean County, New Jersey

STATS: Age 60; married, with one son; retired appellate research attorney; Deale, Maryland. MOST MEMORABLE DINING EXPERIENCE?

Indulging in a melt-in-your-mouth chocolate orange mousse served at Villa Maria, in Ravello, Italy. The restaurant overlooks the blue sea and the hillsides of the Amali Coast. There’s outside seating under a canopied top, charming Italian waiters, and almost always perfect weather. What’s not to like?

If I could be guaranteed that I would not fail, I would gladly throw my hat in the ring to run for president of the United States.

I’d survive on a deserted island with a potato masher, a mouse pad, and a car tire. Sounds like a challenge. MARTINA KOBAS, Koprivnica, Croatia

WHAT BOOK DO YOU ALWAYS RECOMMEND?

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU LIVE BY?

Live life—don’t spend it accumulating things. It’s the memories of adventures that will bring you joy. Over the years, we have often laughed and smiled at memories of past experiences. I rarely remember all the stuf we have had and discarded.

I’d try being an astronaut. How amazing it would be to see the world from outer space. @JOJOJOHNSON526

APRIL 2016

Try a quirky feat.

A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’Engle, for both young and old. It teaches courage and self-relection.

MARY ANN HIGGS, Hayward California

PHOEBE MURTAGH, Chicago, Illinois

If I knew I wouldn’t fail, I would drive a backhoe. I’d love to clear out some brush and large, treelike weeds on our property all by myself.

REALSIMPLE.COM

UPCOMING QUESTION

What makes a good houseguest? Go to realsimple.com/ yourwords and let us know your answer. Your response could appear on these pages.

“between the sand and

sea is where I’ll be. I’m a

lounge lover.”

spring collection 2016

high class affair

sunshine state of mind

new

lounge lover off tropic

pool side service

shades on

explore more @ essie.com

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Savor the dark

Slow-Melting Chocolate. Complex Flavor. Unrivaled Intensity. In Ten Luxurious Varieties.

KNOWLED GE FOR MODERN TIME S

NEW USES FOR OLD THINGS

KALE Got a bunch of greens leftover from a clean-eating kick gone awry? Here are some genius ways to use them up that don’t involve a salad bowl or a blender.

WRITING QUILL

If you’ve misplaced your calligraphy pen (again), dip the pointed rib of a kale leaf into ink for a nutrient-rich missive sure to impress.

Photograph by James Wojcik Illustrations by Peter Oumanski

FEATHER DUSTER

Dust bunnies are no match for this green cleaner. Just tape a few leaves to a handle and sweep away. TURN THE PAGE TO DISCOVER MORE NEW USES FOR KALE.

BREAKABLES PACKAGING

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY L I N D E N E L S T R A N

Moving? Cushion glasses and other delicate items on a bed of power greens.

APRIL 2016

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Now what?!? Smart solutions for life’s little disasters

D. SIMMONS, via e-mail

There’s a dent in my wood desk.

THE FIX: Act fast! Absorb as much as possible with

SUZA L AWSON, via e-mail

T H E R E A L I ST

How do you get Easter-egg dye out of a rug?

WE COULDN’T RESIST. EVEN REAL SIMPLE WOULDN’T PUSH KALE TO THOSE LIMITS. If you love playing a good April Fools’ joke as much as we do, set your alarm for an early wake-up: The earlier in the day you prank someone, the less likely the person will realize what day it is. How did this wacky day come to be, anyway? Legend has it that when a 1564 calendar change moved the New Year from Easter to January 1, people played jokes on slow adopters who were stuck on the old schedule. But Alex Boese, the curator for museumofhoaxes.com, calls that theory bunk. He says the day was inspired by a long history of festivals of “misrule” during the winter-spring transition. “There’s Hilaria in ancient Rome, Holi in India, and the Jewish festival of Purim, among others,” says Boese. Those celebrations involved a loosening of social mores, including playing pranks and wearing disguises. We’re guessing the whoopee cushions probably came much later.

paper towels. Next, sponge a solution of dish soap and cool water onto the stain, then blot with a white cloth, says Carolyn Childers, the chief home officer at Handy, a website that connects consumers to housecleaners and handymen. “Don’t soak the area—this may cause the stain to expand,” she warns. If, after a few tries, the dye has not budged, spray a small bit of WD-40 on the spot, then blot with a white cloth, says Jolie Kerr, author of the cleaning book My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag…. After the dye is gone, remove the WD-40 with a clean cloth and dish soap diluted in cool water. For valuable rugs, consult a pro. HAVE A DISASTER that needs solving? E-mail your problem to askrealsimple@realsimple.com.

THE FIX: If the desk is uninished solid wood, you may be able to ix the nick using an iron, says Christine Harrison, a blogger at littlehouseon thecorner.com. Lay a damp tea towel over the dent, then place an iron set to medium-hot on it for a few seconds. The steam will swell the wood ibers close to their original position. If the desk is inished with a coating, a pro will have to sand out the law and reapply the inish. If it’s only a small blemish, consider embracing the imperfection as added character.

Written by

Brandi Broxson Illustration by

Peter Oumanski

—BRANDI BROXSON

APRIL 2016

REALSIMPLE.COM

FA R L E F T: T H A N K Y O U T O L L E W E LY N M O R G A N , P R O F E S S O R O F C L A S S I C S AT O X FO R D U N I V E R S I T Y. R I G H T: T H A N K Y O U T O R O N A N T H O N Y, W O O D S C I E N T I S T AT A N T H O N Y & A S S O C I AT E S , I N C .

GOTCHA! APRI L FOOL!

Drugstore cheat sheet The best beauty products in the aisles, handpicked by a pro.

2 OLAY REGENERIST LUMINOUS OVERNIGHT MASK

“This gel-cream leave-on mask contains a great cocktail of anti-agers to rejuvenate skin as you sleep—the prime time for your skin to absorb ingredients. It feels cooling and soaks in quickly.” TO BUY: $26 at drugstores.

3 BURT’S BEES RENEWAL SMOOTHING EYE CREAM

“It’s rare to find a natural product that feels luxurious. This eye cream soothes tired and sensitive eyelids. I use it twice a day. My secret tip is to apply it around lips, too, to help prevent lines from forming.” TO BUY: $20 at drugstores.

T H E R E A L I ST

4 CERAVE FACIAL MOISTURIZING LOTION PM

“My best hack for exfoliation: Use a rough washcloth with a dollop of night cream—like this one, with ceramides— to massage your face. You’ll remove dead skin and moisturize in one step. I do it to my ankles, too.” TO BUY: $14 at drugstores.

THIS MONTH’S EXPERT:

D ER M ATO LO G I ST ELLEN MARMUR

5 AQUAPHOR HEALING OINTMENT

Ellen Marmur is a dermatological surgeon in New York City and an associate clinical professor in both the department of dermatology and the department of genetics and genomic research at Mount Sinai Medical Center.

“This is my classic cure for chapped lips, flaky skin areas, and cuticles. I keep sample sizes in every pocket and always travel with it. In a pinch, it’s also a great eye-makeup remover.” TO BUY: $2.50 at drugstores.

1 NEUTROGENA OIL-FREE EYE MAKEUP REMOVER

“You really shouldn’t scrub the fragile eyelid area. This product takes off mascara and eye shadow right away, and the formula leaves skin moisturized. Hold a saturated makeup sponge [see No. 6] over lids for 10 seconds before wiping to allow time to dissolve makeup.” TO BUY: $6 at drugstores.

5 6

“Makeup artists love this super-soft sponge for blending foundation. I also love it for removing heavy eye makeup instead of a washcloth, because it’s so gentle. Afterward, clean it with face wash and let dry.” TO BUY: $10, rickysnyc.com.

Photograph by

James Wojcik

APRIL 2016

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY L I N D E N E L S T R A N

6 RICKYCARE DUAL-TIP 3D BLENDER

Leslie Mann

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 90% OF YOUR BODY? Jergens® Ultra Healing® Moisturizer. Deeply penetrates the surface and repairs dry skin with lasting hydration. Skin so healthy looking, you’re 100% beautiful.

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T R E N D TO T RY

CHAMBR AY Too soon for linen, too late for wool. Consider chambray your happy medium for ickle spring. 1 VESTED INTEREST With

its built-in belt and sharp tailoring, this vest carves out an hourglass shape. $119, adriannapapell.com. 2 ARM CHARMS Wrapped

with strips of denim, these bracelets offer a more casual take on gold bangles. $20 each, chainsbylauren.etsy.com. 3 GRAB BAG A big tote is

4 CROSSOVER APPEAL

From a striped tee to a silk blouse, anything goes with this frayed midi-length skirt. $40, zara.com. 5 FUNCTIONAL FOOTWEAR

Cute sandals are a smart buy when they boast heels with a nice, wide base and match everything in your closet. Ivanka Trump heels, $125, nordstrom.com. 6 EXTRA WIDE These

high-waisted, fluid pants definitely pass office muster. $375, escada.com.

Written by

Yolanda Wikiel Photographs by

Philip Friedman

APRIL 2016

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S O F T S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N

T H E R E A L I ST

one of life’s essentials. This carryall isn’t too precious to schlep around. Merona bag, $40, target.com.

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HOW DID WE GET HERE?

FEMINISM

1400 S B.C. When Egypt’s pharaoh Thutmose II dies, his wife, Hatshepsut, claims the title of king— not queen. She rules for more than 20 years. Some works of art depict her in a man’s kilt and faux beard—which, say historians, were her way of dressing the part.

1787 The Young Ladies Academy, in Pennsylvania, America’s irst all-girls school, opens.

1800 S

T H E R E A L I ST

The feminist movement oficially kicks of in the United States and Great Britain. Fifteen American sufragettes, including Susan B. Anthony, are arrested for placing ballots to vote. Demonstrations such as these spark the country’s irst women’s-rights convention and the formation of the American Equal Rights Association.

EARLY 1900 S Women are granted the right to vote in 1920 (inally). Later, during World War II, women take over men’s factory jobs when many are sent to war. The famous “Rosie the Riveter” poster celebrates women as strong, capable participants in the war efort.

1960 S Feminists protest 1968’s Miss America Pageant, throwing bras and high heels into “freedom trash cans.” Although nothing is torched, the media call these activists “bra burners.”

One in four married women work outside the home by 1945.

The birth control pill, the National Organization for Women (NOW), and Betty Friedan’s seminal book, The Feminine Mystique, usher in the second wave of U.S. feminism. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits race and gender discrimination in employment.

1972 Gloria Steinem’s Ms. magazine begins publishing controversial think pieces on topics like sex, gender, and reproductive rights. The following year, a Texas woman successfully accuses the state of violating her right to an abortion in the landmark case Roe versus Wade.

1980 S With women making up 53 percent of the workforce, the Wall Street Journal coins the term “glass ceiling” to describe the professional barriers they face.

1997 Singer Sarah McLachlan launches Lilith Fair, an all-female concert touring 35 cities, to the tune of $16 million in sales. It’s the top-grossing festival of the year.

2016 President Obama takes executive action to try to close the wage gap between women and men. Still on the table for our next president: paid family leave, reproductive health care, and myriad other issues.

Written by N. Jamiyla Chisholm

APRIL 2016

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Girls’ high school athletic opportunities have grown 35 percentage points— an increase of more than 1,000 percent—since Title IX was passed, in 1972.

C LO C KW I S E F R O M B O T T O M L E F T: R E P R I N T E D BY P E R M I S S I O N O F M S . M A G A Z I N E © 1 9 7 2 ; © A S 4 0 0 D B /C O R B I S ; D E A G O S T I N I /C . S A P PA V I A G E T T Y I M A G E S ; J . H O WA R D M I L L E R / © C O R B I S ; © C O N D É N A S T A R C H I V E / C O R B I S . S P E C I A L T H A N K Y O U T O S E C O N D L A D Y O F T H E U N I T E D S TAT E S , D R . J I L L B I D E N ; S U Z A N N E G O U L D, A R C H I V I S T A N D R E C O R D S M A N A G E R AT T H E A M E R I C A N A S S O C I AT I O N O F U N I V E R S I T Y W O M E N ; T H E W O M E N ’ S S P O R T FO U N D AT I O N .

The notion that a college education causes female infertility (!) is refuted by the American Association of University Women in a report nearly 100 years later.

We’ve come a long way, baby. But we still have a long way to go. Here are some historical highlights, from ancient times to this very moment.

M A K E S PA I N A D I S TA N T M E M O R Y.

Use as directed.

T H E STA P L E

MAYONNAISE This old-school condiment makes just about everything taste better. And by “just about everything,” we mean burgers, BLTs, and—wait for it—baked fish. Whether you opt for a low-fat version or an egg-free one (yes, it exists, and it’s delicious) or you stick with the good old original, here are three more reasons to love mayo.

Written by Heath Goldman Recipes by Kay Chun Photograph by Danny Kim

3 QUICK IDEAS RECIPE

Miso-mayo hake

T H E R E A L I ST

Mix 3 Tbsp. mayonnaise with 2 Tbsp. yellow miso, 6 Tbsp. panko, 1 clove inely chopped garlic, 2 Tbsp. chopped scallions, and 1 Tbsp. canola oil. Rub 4 ish illets with 1 Tbsp. oil and season with ½ tsp. salt. Spread the miso mayo on top of each illet. Bake on a parchment-lined sheet at 350°F until golden and cooked through, 15 minutes. Serves 4. EASY UPGRADE

Guacamole BLT Mash 1 peeled and pitted avocado with 2 Tbsp. each mayonnaise and chopped cilantro, 2 tsp. fresh lime juice, 1 inely chopped Thai chile pepper, and ¼ tsp. kosher salt. Spread on 2 slices of toasted multigrain bread. Top with crispy bacon, tomato slices, lettuce, and 2 more slices of toast. Makes 2. EASY UPGRADE

Combine 1 inely chopped tomato, ¼ cup each mayonnaise and inely chopped dill pickles, 1 Tbsp. inely chopped celery, 1 tsp. onion powder, ½ tsp. kosher salt, and 2 Tbsp. chopped chives; mix well. Chill for 1 hour. Serve on burgers or with potato chips, for dipping. EASY, DIY MAYO

Find a 5-minute recipe at realsimple.com/mayo.

APRIL 2016

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY A N G E L A C A M P O S

Special sauce

WHAT ONE EXPERIMENT MEANS TO EVERYONE’S RETIREMENT.

The time between when people should start saving for retirement and when they actually do is known as the “Action Gap.” And it has a bigger effect than you might think. To better understand the impact, we performed a simple experiment. We asked a group of young people to use paint rollers to show us what age they think they should start saving. Then we asked a group of older people to indicate what age they actually did start. What we found was that there was often a years-long Action Gap between the two. But closing it up by even just a few years makes a huge difference in how much people can save over the long run. Which makes right now the perfect time to get better prepared for your retirement.

SPEAK TO A FINANCIAL ADVISOR TODAY, OR VISIT RACEFORRETIREMENT.COM

RETIREMENT

INVESTMENTS

INSURANCE

Little helpers 4 ingenious products to make your day easier

2 WEARABLE SLEEPING BAG

Keep cozy with this camping superstar. Designed with zippered holes for arms and legs, it lets you walk, eat, and kick back without ever leaving your cocoon. Evrgrn crash sack, $120, rei.com.

Eco quandary

T H E R E A L I ST

3 STROLLER UMBRELLA

4 HOLD-ALL BRA

Attach this adjustable rain shield to the stroller’s handle so you can navigate your precious cargo while dodging April showers. $40, mumbrella.com.

Five strategically and discreetly placed pockets keep essentials (phone, cash, credit card, hotel key) close by during workouts. $60, travelbra.com.

Written by Tanya Christian Photographs by Philip Friedman

APRIL 2016

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FLUSHABLE WIPES: TRULY OK TO FLUSH? Not really. Unlike toilet paper, many wipes are made with special binders to hold ibers together. These binders are supposed to break down when they hit water, but they often don’t disintegrate quickly. “When lushed, the wipes can get stuck down the line, causing a clog,” says Lou Manfredini, Ace Hardware’s home expert. Also, the wipes can glom onto grease inside pipes, and together they can create massive blockages in sewer systems. (One in London was as long as a Boeing 747!) Clearing even a minor jam in a home can start at $300. “A big problem is there are no regulations on the term flushable,” says Cynthia Finley, the director of regulatory afairs for the National Association of Clean Water Agencies. And there’s another issue: Many flushable wipes contain synthetic ibers, which may be released into the environment. The ecological impact of these materials is not yet known, but you’re better of tossing wipes in the trash—or, better yet, sticking with regular TP. —KAITLYN PIRIE

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N ; I L L U S T R AT I O N BY P E T E R O U M A N S K I . S P E C I A L T H A N K Y O U T O D AV E R O U S S E , P R E S I D E N T O F I N D A , A S S O C I AT I O N O F T H E N O N W OV E N FA B R I C S I N D U S T R Y; A U B R E Y S T R A U S E , O W N E R O F V E R D A N T WAT E R , A C O N S U LT I N G F I R M I N S C A R B O R O U G H , M A I N E ; C H A R L E S W H I T E , V I C E P R E S I D E N T O F T E C H N I C A L & C O D E S E R V I C E S , P H C C — N AT I O N A L A S S O C I AT I O N .

1 SPRAY SCRUBBER

Complete with a cleaningsolution dispenser and a heavy-duty pad, this power scourer helps you handily tackle your shower and other surfaces with ease. $13, casbella.com.

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An accidental friendship What single decision changed your life? Diane Penney, the 2016 Life Lessons contest winner, writes of a chance encounter during her darkest moment. APRIL 2016

I S PE N T M Y F I R S T N IG H T in Birmingham, Alabama, on a vinyl bench of the neurosciences waiting room at UAB Hospital, in a dress I’d worn to a party three hours away. A day that ended in shadows had begun with so much light. The sky on that June morning, 2010, was a flawless periwinkle, and the breeze warm and willowy. My car was packed with all I needed for six weeks in Sewanee, Tennessee—about 100 miles from my hometown, Nashville. I was going to begin an M.F.A. writing program at the Sewanee School of Letters, a dream I’d never felt good pursuing until I knew my son would be all right on his own. Ryan and I had always been a family of two, listed in the school directory or smiling in our Christmascard photos—and now, at 20, he was pursuing his own dreams. He loved singing and acting, but danc-

Photograph by Zack Seckler

REALSIMPLE.COM

L I F E L E SS O N S

ing was his life. The years he had spent channeling Frank Sinatra, Usher, and Justin Timberlake had paid of when he was awarded a performing-arts scholarship to Samford University, in Birmingham. He had just finished his freshman year, had been initiated into Sigma Chi, and was going to spend the summer on campus for his first professional theater role. If there had ever been a time when I felt I could shift my gaze, it was then. Before I left that morning, I got a call from Ryan telling me that he and his girlfriend were going waterskiing with her family. “Be careful,” I said. “I love you.” Eight hours later, while sitting in the Sewanee banquet hall for the welcome dinner, I got a call from an ER nurse in Alabama telling me my son had jumped of a 60-foot clif into a lake, had broken his back, and was paralyzed from the waist down. My memories of what happened next hang like portraits in a gallery of grief: the whispers above his bedside; the cracked eggshell of his MRI; the bowed head of the intern who said my son would never walk again as I begged, “But he’s a dancer, he’s a dancer, he’s a dancer!” The impact had shattered Ryan’s T12, one of the vertebrae just above the small of his back. After eight hours in the OR, the neurosurgeon warned me that Ryan would sufer excruciating pain for weeks. He also believed that he would be paralyzed for life but added that every spinal-cord injurywas diferent—like a snowflake. Although Ryan might regain movement, he had an 18-month window and would need countless hours of rehab. He also said it was crucial that Ryan return to school in the fall to be with his friends. I was given a place to stay for the summer, and when Ryan stabilized in August, I said good-bye to my parents in Nashville, found a two-bedroom apartment in Birmingham, and moved Ryan into the Sigma Chi house. I didn’t give a rip if he ever graduated; I just wanted him around the piranha-filled fish tanks and his pledge brothers chanting him out of his wheelchair on the “fratio.” That fall, my days were spent care-giving. I investigated clinical trials; struggled with the insurance company, which canceled Ryan’s policy anyway; encouraged him as he fought for mobility in his daily physical-therapy sessions; and shopped, cleaned, and laundered for him. Occasionally I would end up in Whole Foods to get dinner to go. One October night, as I was leaving, a little voice said, “Go back and talk to someone.” Turning slowly on my heel, I took my rubber-banded

APRIL 2016

container of pot roast and salad and parked myself at the grill. That dark horse of a decision changed my life. At first, I was mortified: “Oh please don’t anybody look at me. I know I’m middle-aged and alone. I’m just here to have a meaningless conversation, I swear!” But that was a lie. I needed someone to hear me say, “You have no idea what has happened to us.” Right then, a blur of blond hair and four-carat bling sat next to me with her husband—and before long, I knew her life story. Her name was Susan Flowers, but her nickname was “Mermaid,” because her first job was swimming with dolphins at Sea World. She had moved to Hawaii in her 20s, married a plastic surgeon, and moved a year before to Birmingham, her husband’s hometown. She had hiked the Swiss Alps, been showered with cherry blossoms in Tokyo, and gotten baptized in the Jordan River. She had even hosted her own radio show. She asked what had brought me to town, and I told her briefly about Ryan. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “You listen to me: We are going to be best friends, do you hear me? Best friends.” I was dazed. Who talks like that besides Anne of Green Gables? I had honestly never met anyone like her, so exotic yet so guileless. We exchanged numbers, and soon after, she invited me to a small gathering in her home. I remember thinking how lovely it was for her to include me, but my life was challenging and I didn’t want to impose on her good nature. All that changed a few weeks later. As I was folding Ryan’s clothes, I had what they call in the South “a total come apart.” For months I’d had two choices—feel or function—and I’d had to function. But now, without warning, the anguish from what my son had endured so overwhelmed me, I thought I’d stop breathing.

REALSIMPLE.COM

Occasionally I would end up in Whole Foods to get dinner to go. One October night, as I was leaving, a little voice said, “Go back and talk to someone.”

FOOD

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A community centered on the everyday table. Featuring inspiring recipes for any occasion, plus tips and resources from your favorite chefs and TODAY hosts.

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Here was a woman she hardly knew, unraveling before her eyes. Then she said one of the bravest things I have ever heard: “Diane, your sorrow doesn’t scare me.”

P H O T O G R A P H BY S A R A H S U M M A

About the author This year’s Life Lessons contest winner, Diane Penney, is a reading interventionist who works with children with dyslexia. She lives with her son, Ryan, in Birmingham, Alabama, where she enjoys volunteering for a golden retriever–rescue organization, lingering in crafts stores, and giving away Miraculous Medals, Catholic sacramentals.

I curled up in the dark on Ryan’s old bed and cried so hard the room spun. I thought of calling Susan but was afraid of running her off. By the third sleepless night, I didn’t care. When she answered, all I could do was sob. “I’m on my way,” she said— and in 20 minutes she was at my door with a CD player and homemade soup. I collapsed on the couch. She stood a ways of, and I thought how the whole wretched scene must have freaked her out. Here was a woman she hardly knew, unraveling before her eyes. Then she said one of the bravest things I have ever heard: “Diane, your sorrow doesn’t scare me.” And she sat on the floor as the CD filled the room with what only the stricken can truly hear and only a dolphin whisperer would know to play: The Book of Job. I closed my eyes and slept. In February, Susan joined me for a fraternity singing performance at the Wright Fine Arts Center, at Samford. Sigma Chi members had their own act, but Ryan wasn’t there—until the end. He wheeled himself to the side of the stage, rose slowly to his feet, and—taking his first few steps in eight months— sang the finale. Three thousand people rose to their feet with him. With the aid of a walker and eventually forearm crutches, Ryan covered more ground every week. And although he will always need foot and leg braces, on August 7, 2011—14 months after his accident—he ofered me his crutches and walked hands-free into the rest of his life. Susan’s proclamation came true: We became best friends. And sometimes now when we are sitting on her back porch, I’ll think, I’d have left. I’d have taken Ryan out of school and gone back home to Nashville. I could not have stayed here without her. But I did stay—because one night in a grocery store I turned around, ready to receive what is sometimes just on the other side of hope. Q

CHECK OUT THE OTHER WINNING ESSAYS

Gladys Haunton, 70, of Omaha, took second prize, and Alie Kriofske Mainella, 40, of Milwaukee, won third prize. To read their entries, go to realsimple.com/lifelessonscontest.

APRIL 2016

REALSIMPLE.COM

life is eating, laughing, loving and a place to enjoy it together.

MÖRBYLÅNGA table

699

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Modern Manners RE AL SIMPLE’S E TIQUE T T E E XPERT, C ATHERINE NE WMAN, OFFER S HER BE ST ADVICE ON YO U R S O CI AL QUANDAR I E S.

Recently I have been invited over several times by a friend for what is posed as an impromptu party, only to find out on arrival that it is a product-pitch party. I feel like I’m being tricked into attending. I love my friend, but I find myself hesitating to accept her invitations, fearing it will be yet another one of these parties. How do I find out before I commit without sounding rude?

P O R T R A I T BY S A R A H M AY C O C K

A. M.

Tell your friend what you told me—that you love her and love spending time with her but really don’t have the availability or the budget to attend pitch parties. “I know you’re trying to sell the cookware and the makeup, and I am totally cheering for you. But I don’t want to buy any. Would you please let me know ahead of time if you’re inviting me for a party party or a pitch party? I’m reluctant to use up an evening with you when you might be too busy to socialize.” Will it be awkward? Maybe. But it probably won’t be news to your friend that some people are interested in her companionship, but not in the probiotics and the bread mix. Plus, she will get the message that honesty is the best policy—and it almost always is.

APRIL 2016

About Catherine The author of Catastrophic Happiness (see page 53) and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

REALSIMPLE.COM

My 80-year-old mother-in-law is very body-conscious and often makes disparaging remarks about other people’s weight in front of my young daughters. Can you help me with a kind line to shut it down? I talk to my girls (ages two and five) a lot about being healthy, but I’m afraid these offhand comments will start to take root in their psyches. I know from personal experience how they can. S. G.

Your kids are so lucky to have you watching out for them. As they get older, and the stakes get higher—I speak from experience here—you’ll be able to address this with them more explicitly. “Oof!” you can say one day. “I love Grandma so much, but I don’t like the way she talks about people’s bodies! I wish she understood the idea of being healthy, like we do.” But they’re too young for that now, and while you can keep stressing the importance of strength and functionality over weight and appearance, it might also be helpful to speak directly to your mother-in-law. “I would be proud of my body if I were you. We think you’re amazing,” you can say. “And I would prefer that you not make negative comments about other people’s bodies and weight in front of the girls. There is such an

L I F E L E SS O N S

epidemic of eating and body-image disorders, and I’m trying to keep them healthy.” Cite eating-disorder statistics if she’s not convinced: One study estimates that half a million teenagers suffer from them, and the National Eating Disorders Association identifies the glorification of thinness as a

contributing factor. If it’s easier to have your partner do the dirty work, then by all means, foist the job off. What matters is that your daughters get to prize activity and freedom. Because you’re their mother, though, they’re quite likely to do exactly that.

Unless it’s finger food, like corn on the cob or potato chips (or, if you’re at my house, green salad), try to keep your hands out of it. Beyond that, I’m not much of a stickler. Does pushing food around with a piece of baguette comply with the strictest etiquette rules? Probably not. Is bread better than fingers? I think so. Lizzie also offered this broader advice, which may help: “Proper knife and fork use is about having the most amount of control over and dexterity with your utensils. You want your dining companions to focus on you, not the awkward way you use your knife and fork.” That seems like a good goal more generally: Strive for excellence in table manners while remaining as inconspicuous as possible in the process.

I was raised to use my knife not only for cutting food but also for pushing it onto the fork. I notice that a lot of people push food onto their forks with their fingers. To me, this is crude behavior. I also notice that people often use a piece of bread to push food onto the fork, so I try to remember to serve bread or rolls when I have guests. What is proper fork etiquette these days? E. S.

I asked my go-to etiquette friend, Lizzie Post, Emily’s great-greatgranddaughter and the host of the podcast Awesome Etiquette. She explained the different orthodoxies of fork and knife use: the American style, which involves switching hands after cutting (which leaves you without a dedicated food pusher), and the English, which you describe above. Both of them are fine, she says. But I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that involving your fingers kind of defeats the purpose of the utensil.

APRIL 2016

H AV E A N E T I Q U E T T E Q U E ST I O N ?

Submit your social conundrums to Catherine at REALSIMPLE.COM/ MODERNMANNERS. Selected letters will be featured on these pages every month.

REALSIMPLE.COM

My mother- and father-in-law live out of state, and we rarely see them. They are very well-off financially, and yet every single gift my children, my husband, and I get is from a garage sale, a consignment shop, or a thrift store. I can’t help feeling insulted every time my kids open a present that has stains all over it or embarrassed when I open an obvious secondhand outfit on my birthday. Am I being too sensitive, or is this something I could address in a classy manner? K. C.

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” refers to checking those equine teeth for age and damage. And the expression means, “Hey, it’s a horse, and it’s for you! Be grateful.” You see where this is headed. It is never appropriate to question the value of a gift that you’ve been given, whether that gift is new or old. And you certainly have no reason to be embarrassed when the presents are opened. You didn’t buy them. Besides, thrift can show good values. Your mother-in-law is well-off now, but if she grew up poor, then financial anxiety might still plague her. On the other hand, maybe she’s just cheap. Either way, you have a couple of options. One, do nothing. That is, write a thank-you note and donate the items to Goodwill. (They’ll be reunited with their old friends!) Or, two, gently redirect your mother-in-law toward a different approach: “As the kids get older, I find it harder and harder to know what they might like. Why don’t you get them a gift card to iTunes or Amazon, so you know your gift will be put to good use?” In-laws tend to provoke outrage over various issues, large and small. Since this is a small one, see if you can let it go.

I call this the calm before the shake.

Like you, we at Natural Balance believe every dog has something that makes them unique. Which is why they deserve food made with ingredients such as venison, salmon, duck and sweet potato.

Food with substance

dogs with character.

Booties and bonnet by Irulea

Four generations of family Coins to commemorate Charlotte’s birth

A shawl of fine merino wool

An heirloom for a christening gown

PICK UP A COPY IN STORES OR SUBSCRIBE AT PEOPLE.COM

Ten years ago, a family friend built us a beautiful bookcase as a wedding gift. We have used it and moved it across the country twice. A third cross-country move is coming up. We don’t want to move it again. It’s huge, heavy, and no longer our taste. We haven’t seen this family friend in a decade. Can we sell the bookcase? Do we have to give another family member the right of refusal? What is our best option?

Maybe you could give it to the mother-in-law in the previous letter, for regifting. (Kidding!) The bookcase has survived a decade and two moves? I would describe that gift as an unqualified success. It was a lovely thing for your friend to build the piece for you, and it’s wonderful that you got so much use out of it. Your loyalty is delightful, but you are under no obligation to hang on to an object that no longer serves you. You loved it; you moved it; you’re moving on. If there’s someone you know who might want it, by all means keep it in the family. If you worry that you’ll regret parting with it, see if you can store it in someone’s basement. Otherwise just bid it a fond farewell.

M. N.

CATHERINE’S NEW BOOK! Parenting requires all of the graciousness, patience, and kindness that I consistently talk about in this column (even though kids are like houseguests who rarely help and never leave). This book is about trying to get through it with grace. CATASTROPHIC HAPPINESS WILL BE AVAILABLE APRIL 5 WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD.

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5 tricks to being a better judge of character Who knew that your date would turn out to be a jerk? And that the assistant you hired is actually terrible under pressure? These experts. Let our whizzes, including a jury consultant and a waiter who became a tell-all author, help you improve your people-reading skills.

APRIL 2016

1 DAR RON C A R DO SA

Take them out to dinner. As a waiter, I always watch to see if, and how, customers’ demeanors change when they talk to

Written by Rebecca Webber Illustration by Ben Wiseman

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me as opposed to the person they’re eating with. If they’re engaged and personable with the people at the table but then don’t look me in the eye or say “please” and “thank you,” I think that reveals a lot. I’ve heard of people taking job candidates to restaurants to see how they interact with the servers, because it’s a good indicator of how they will treat their coworkers. It’s also telling for me to see how people react to bad news. When I say we’re out of a dish or the food is going to take longer than normal, do they let it roll off their backs? Or do they ask how that could possibly happen and say it’s unacceptable? In most cases—in restaurants and in life—there is a reasonable explanation. When people get upset, it tells me that they sweat the small stuff.

3 5

J E SS I E K AY

Have them tell a story twice.

2 A N N E M A RI E D O O L I N G

L I F E L E SS O N S

Watch for “Actually.…” There are telltale words that show a person is the type who likes to bait you into an argument— especially online. If someone starts a comment with “Actually,” he is trying to correct you. Or ending a comment with “Right?” He wants you to engage. Another common indicator is chiming in with an anecdote to shut you down. For example, you write, “X percent of baby boys don’t get this vaccine.” And he writes, “My brother got that. You’re wrong.” OK, you have a personal story that you think negates all other information. What I tell people, especially female writers I work with, is that when a person comes back more than once with an “actually” or a “Right?” or an anecdote, that person is trying to cause trouble.

With all of our electronic communication these days—and even more so with dating apps— everyone has the chance to fabricate. Maybe they tell one person one thing and another person something else, just to get what they want out of situations. I’m newly single for the first time in seven years, and one of the things I look for is consistency when someone tells me a story. I’ll say, “Hey, remember that story you told me? What happened at the end?” Getting the same response—or not— says something about his honesty.

THE EXPERTS

LE S L I E E L L I S

Listen for a straight answer. How directly someone speaks to you can be a big indicator of how forthright she is overall. This is something we look for when we’re working with witnesses but also when we’re looking at jurors. When someone immediately answers the question, we usually feel she is being honest with us. When someone talks and talks in a roundabout way, giving 15 explanations for what she’s about to say, and then gives you the answer at the very end, she might be telling the truth, or she might be wrestling with it. It hurts your credibility if you’re not immediately direct.

DA R R O N C A R D O SA is a blogger and the author of The Bitchy Waiter. He lives in New York City.

J E S S I E K AY is the founder of the Real Matchmaker. She lives in Los Angeles.

ANNEMARIE D O O L I N G is the head of growth and audience correspondence at Vocativ. com, a news website. She lives in New York City.

L E S L I E E L L I S , PH . D., is a jury consultant at DecisionQuest, a national litigation consulting firm. She lives in Washington, D.C.

APRIL 2016

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ST EP H E N C AM A R ATA

Ask if they’ve broken a bone. This is strictly observational; there’s no data out there on this. But I have seven children, and I’ve noticed a definite bimodal distribution when it comes to broken bones. Three of them have had multiple broken bones—arms, shoulders, whatever. Four of them have never broken a bone. The ones that break bones tend to be more aggressive and daring. They’re also risktakers, which can be a good thing. The others are more cautious and deliberate. It’s the same with my grandchildren. I have one who will jump off a couch and assume Grandpa will catch her. Her brother will climb up and down the stairs of the slide until he finally goes down slowly.

S T E P H E N C A M A R ATA , P H . D. , is the author of The Intuitive Parent and a professor of hearing and speech sciences and psychiatry at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine. He lives in Nashville.

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SPRINGCLEAN YOUR... Mind 62 Appliances 64 Wallet 66 Makeup Bag 68 Eco Habits 70 Toy Piles 72 Winter Clothes 74

S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

SPRING CLEAN YOUR LIFE Why stop at window washing? The following pages will help you scrub, sort, and simplify all types of life’s messes. The end result: a clearer head.

Photographs by

Aaron Dyer Prop Styling by

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APRIL 2016

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MIND

S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

First things irst: an easy relaxation technique to help calm your body and clear your brain.

Take a minute to think about what’s supporting your body right now— the chair or the sofa you’re sitting on and the ground below your feet. Much of the time, we use more energy than we need to hold our bodies up. Learning to really sink into physical support can calm nerves, soothe emotions, and relax the mind. First, become aware of your feet against the floor. Place them in a comfortable, natural spot and press them into the ground a bit to feel your leg muscles tighten. Then let those muscles relax completely, allowing the floor to hold up your legs and feet. Next, notice your back against the chair. Tense up your shoulders for a couple of seconds, then release them. Notice the parts of your back that are in contact with the chair. You don’t have to hold up those muscles right now. Breathe comfortably and give in to gravity, letting the chair support you. Allow your body to feel held for a moment. Take time to enjoy that feeling. Become

aware of what else changes when you simply let the chair and the ground hold you up. You might feel a softening in the belly, hips, and breath. Also notice what you may be “holding up” that doesn’t need holding. Your jaw, for instance. What happens if you soften it? Luxuriate in the support that is right here, right now. Spend a minute or two experiencing it, breathing naturally—falling into gravity and letting the effort drop away.

TROUBLE SLEEPING?

Try a version of this exercise when you climb into bed. It works wonders.

Written by

Margaret Townsend

APRIL 2016

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APPLIANCES The Big Three of your kitchen can get pretty gross. Give them a thorough (once a year!) once-over.

D I S H WA S H E R

Soak the filter (inside the dishwasher’s base) for an hour in a sinkful of hot water plus a scoop of dish powder. Scrub the mesh with a small brush and rinse.

1 CLEAN THE INTERIOR.

DEGRIME THE DRIP PA N

To remove buildup, mix 2 tablespoons baking soda with 16 ounces of water in a microwavesafe bowl and heat for 2 minutes. Transfer to a spray bottle and spritz the inside of the appliance, the door interior, and the rim. Wipe clean with a microiber cloth.

If your refrigerator has a removable drip pan, soak it for a few minutes in hot, soapy water, scrub with a sponge, then rinse.

OV E N R A N G E 1 DISINFECT. If your oven is self-cleaning, follow the manufacturer’s how-to. If it’s not, wipe the interior with a damp cloth. To soften caked-on gunk, ill a casserole dish halfway with water, add the juice of 3 lemons plus the rinds, and bake at 350° for 1 hour. Let cool for 15 minutes, then apply a paste of baking soda and water to all sides with a nonabrasive sponge. Wet the sponge in the lemon water, then scrub. Wipe clean with a damp paper towel. 2 VACUUM UP DEBRIS. Pull the unit away from the wall and, using the hose attachment, remove crumbs and dust from the loor. Push it back in. 3 SCRUB THE STOVETOP. Apply a paste of equal parts baking soda and dish soap plus a few drops of water. (This is safe on any cooktop, electric or gas.) Let sit for 10 minutes, then wipe thoroughly with a damp cloth. Buf dry. 4 REFRESH THE RACKS. Place the racks and grates in a plastic garbage bag, spray generously with a degreasing cleaner (like Simple Green), and tie the bag closed. Let sit for 1 hour, then rinse each piece in a sink illed with hot, soapy water. 5 WASH THE EXHAUST. To degrease the overhead ilter, remove it and soak it for 15 minutes in a sink illed with hot water and a scoop of OxiClean. Rinse and dry. Next, clean the piece on the wall: Apply a paste of baking soda and dish soap and let sit for 10 minutes. Wipe clean with a soft sponge and buf dry.

2 CLEAR THE CUTLERY CONTAINER. Shake the

basket upside down over a trash can to jostle out any debris. 3 FLUSH OUT IMPURITIES.

When the dishwasher is empty, pour 1⁄4 cup baking soda into the detergent dispenser and run a rinse cycle on the hottest temperature. 4 REMOVE RESIDUE. Use a vinegar-dampened cloth to clean out the detergent dispenser and wipe down the spray arms.

1 EMPTY IT OUT. Remove all items and toss any that have expired. 2 SANITIZE THE DRAWERS.

Take them out (shelves too, if detachable) and scrub every side with a sponge dipped in warm, soapy water. Sprinkle baking soda on any stubborn spots and scrub again. Rinse and pat dry. 3 DEODORIZE. Get rid of odors by wiping the inside walls with a microiber cloth spritzed with an all-purpose cleaner. Wipe again using a paper towel dipped in a bowl of diluted vanilla extract. 4 REMOVE DUST. Using the brush attachment, vacuum the coils, which may be behind the refrigerator. Wipe down the grille (typically at the base) with a dryer sheet. 5 CLEAN THE GASKETS.

Use the soapy water from the shelf-scrubbing to wipe down the refrigerator and freezer gaskets (door seals). When they’re dry, apply a bit of petroleum jelly to prevent sticking and tearing. 6 RESTOCK. Insert the clean shelves and drawers. To avoid gunking them up with anything sticky or dusty, wipe the bottom of each item with a damp paper towel before putting it back.

Written by

Stephanie Sisco

APRIL 2016

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T H E C L E A N I N G P R O S : D E B R A J O H N S O N , M A N A G E R O F T H E T R A I N I N G P R O G R A M AT M E R R Y M A I D S ; M E L I S S A M A K E R , FO U N D E R O F T H E C L E A N M Y S PA C E C L E A N I N G C O M PA N Y; D O N N A S M A L L I N K U P E R , A U T H O R O F C L E A N I N G P L A I N & S I M P L E ; A N D C H R I S Z E I S L E R , T E C H N I C A L S E R V I C E S U P E R V I S O R AT R E PA I R C L I N I C .C O M .

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WALLET Make more room for, um, money. Here are eight things to banish from your wallet—now and forever.

Your Social Security card

COINS

“This is the number one item never to carry with you,” says Natalie Colley, an analyst with New York City–based wealth-management irm Francis Financial. “Someone with access to your Social Security number can easily open accounts in your name.” Keep your card at home, in a locked ile cabinet or safe, along with your passport.

2 S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

COUPONS

R EC E I P T S Refuse receipts from grocery stores, delis, and coffee shops. Throw out any in your wallet right now. Planning to return an item or submit a receipt for reimbursement? Get that paper out of your wallet daily and into one of two folders: EXPENSES or POTENTIAL RETURNS. At clothing stores and the like, if you’re offered an e-mail receipt, take it. Set up an e-mail address just for receipts to shield your main e-mail address from mailing lists.

Got a clipping habit? Swap it for the Grocery Pal app, which displays weekly sales at supermarkets in your area.

7 GIFT CARDS

Even though your wallet has a compartment for change, it should never see a coin. “Use that spot for tiny emergency items—Band-Aids, safety pins, earring backs,” says Colley. Drop change you receive in your pocket so that you’re reminded to use it that day. Whatever remains goes in a jar by the door at home, then to the Coinstar machine at the grocery store. “But don’t exchange coins for cash from Coinstar,” says Colley. “There’s a hefty fee. Instead, take one of the no-fee eGift cards it ofers.”

Store loyalty cards EVERYTHING MUST GO!

Toss old lottery tickets, to-do notes, scraps with phone numbers…. Need we go on?

Place them wherever you sit when you shop online. Use them to buy ahead for other peoples’ birthdays. You will feel liberated and organized. Download the Gyft app to hold what’s left.

Most stores allow you to type in your phone number to access your account. “Go that route,” says Colley, and trash the actual cards. Or consolidate everything into your phone with the Keyring app, which can hold it all—your supermarket, drugstore, library, and gym cards.

C R E D I T C A R D S T H AT YO U R A R E LY U S E Keep two cards in your wallet, max, and put the one with the best rewards or lowest interest rate in front. The others should stay at home in a lockbox and come out only when needed. If there’s a store you visit often, you can add that card as well. Limiting the cards you carry makes you less vulnerable if your wallet is lost or stolen. Photocopy all cards— front and back—and store the copies in your lockbox, so you’re ready, just in case.

Other people’s business cards Colley recommends CamCard, an app that lets you snapshot the info and make it searchable by name.

Written by

Nicole Gimmel

APRIL 2016

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MAKEUP BAG Now let’s do a fun task. These double-duty upgrades will lighten your load and brighten your look.

1 FOOLPROOF BRONZER Smooth on a

pump of bareMinerals bareSkin Sheer Sun Serum Bronzer. It doubles as an antioxidant serum to help fight free radicals and goes on streak-free. TO BUY: $28, bareminerals.com.

S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

2 LIPSTICK X 2 Tarte the Lip Sculptor DoubleEnded Lipstick & Gloss offers full-coverage color and a complementary sheen in one sleek tube. In eight shades. TO BUY: $24, ulta.com.

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3 CUSTOMIZED COVERUP Proactiv+ Repairing

Concealer houses four shades (compactly) so you can create your match. And it has salicylic acid, to help shrink zits while you hide them. TO BUY: $32, proactivcatalog.com. 4 TOP SPRING POLISH

Butter London Sheer Wisdom Nail Tinted Moisturizer comes in six ontrend nudes and contains keratin and tea-tree oil to strengthen nails. TO BUY: $18, butterlondon.com. 5 MAGIC MASCARA WAND The Estée Edit

Up + Out Double Mascara has a fluffy brush for volume and a detailing one for targeting tiny inner-corner and bottom lashes. TO BUY: $24, sephora.com. 6 PRACTICAL POUCH

With a zipper on the top and bottom, the Sonia Kashuk Beauty Organizer has two roomy compartments. And it’s made of polyester, so it’s easy to clean. TO BUY: $26, target.com.

APRIL 2016

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Mind Appliances Wallet Makeup Bag Eco Habits Toy Piles Winter Clothes

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ECO HABITS

NOT-SO-GREAT HABIT

Using body wash all the time

Being oblivious to your electronics settings

Running the dishwasher and the clothes dryer during the day

Tossing used coffee pods

Overdoing it with aluminum foil

Around 9.8 billion K-cup pods were sold in 2014. (They account for a reported 85 to 90 percent of the cofee-pod market.) The number 7 plastic most contain isn’t accepted at many recycling plants (also, plants won’t accept pods if they are illed with cofee), so a majority end up in landills, says Elizabeth Glazner, the editorial director of the nonproit organization Plastic Pollution Coalition.

Americans discarded about 2.8 million tons of aluminum—including containers, cans, and foil—in 2013, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. Whereas soiled containers can be recycled, dirty foil can’t. And it can take centuries for aluminum to biodegrade.

Liquid soaps require ive times more energy for raw-material production and nearly 20 times more energy for packaging production than bar soaps do. “And higher energy consumption usually correlates with a higher carbon footprint,” says David Tyler, a professor of chemistry at the University of Oregon, in Eugene. GREENER HABIT

Stick with bars when you wash up. Not only do they have a considerably lower impact on the environment but also you’ll use less. A study from Zurich’s Institute of Environmental Engineering found that consumers use almost seven times more liquid soap than bar soap when hand washing, so it’s quite likely that we’re overdoing it in the shower as well.

The average home contains about 24 energysucking electronic devices, with TVs, desktop computers, cable boxes, and game consoles among the worst. Combined, they consumed about $20 billion worth of electricity in 2013, according to the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC), in New York.

These machines produce heat and humidity, which means your air conditioner has to work harder, says Jennifer Amann, the buildings program director at the American Council for an Energy-Eficient Economy, in Washington, D.C. Besides, many utility companies charge higher rates during peak hours.

GREENER HABIT

It’s easy to tweak a TV, so start there. Select “home” mode in the setup instead of “retail,” which is meant for a bright instore display. If there is an automatic brightness control, turn it on. “This feature measures the amount of light in a room and adjusts the screen. This can cut energy use by up to 50 percent,” says Noah Horowitz, a senior scientist for the NRDC. On smart TVs, disable the quick-start function, which eats up extra power.

Use your dishwasher and dryer during of-peak hours, which typically start between 8 P.M. and midnight and end around sunrise. (Check with your provider.) For maximum eficiency, use a low dryer setting, and line-dry thick items, like jeans and towels, whenever possible.

APRIL 2016

GREENER HABIT

Find a nearby recycling facility that will take them by searching for “number 7 plastic” at search. earth911. com. Then separate the plastic cup from the lid, the ilter, and the grounds. The Recycle A Cup gadget ($13, recycle acup.com) will do this in seconds. Or mail pod plastic to Recycle A Cup for free recycling. Easier yet, use a reillable pod (My K-Cup, $15, keurig.com).

REALSIMPLE.COM

GREENER HABIT

Use unbleached parchment paper for baking and roasting as well as for wrapping sandwiches and snacks. It’s biodegradeable, compostable, and often reusable.

Written by

Brandi Broxson

S P E C I A L T H A N K S T O A N N E G E R M A I N , D I R E C T O R O F WA S T E A N D R E C Y C L I N G , N AT I O N A L WA S T E A N D R E C Y C L I N G A S S O C I AT I O N ; L A R R Y K A U F M A N , D I R E C T O R O F C O M M U N I C AT I O N S , K E E P A M E R I C A B E A U T I F U L .

S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

Five surprising—and surprisingly easy—changes you can make to be kinder to the environment starting now.

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TOY PILES These clever containers will corral four common, constantly underfoot sources of kiddie clutter.

SHOPKINS SCO OPER

S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

A lightweight, lidless vessel makes it easy for little ones to grab and go—and dump their stash of blocks back in when they’re done building. TO BUY: Oval acrylic wastebasket, $25, containerstore.com.

DIVIDERS

allow each drawer to hold up to four puzzles.

J I G S AW S O RT E R

M ATC H B OX C A R P O RT This mountable hardwood “parking lot” has a dozen slotted shelves and a clear acrylic door to keep mini cars in place. Hang it low on the wall in a kid’s room or a playroom. TO BUY: 60 Hot Wheels display-case cabinet, $75, sfdisplay.com.

Crushed boxes are an eyesore, and puzzle pieces can escape. Instead, decant pieces into stackable pullout drawers. (Cut out the puzzle images to keep, too.) TO BUY: Clear sweater drawer, $25; dividers, $8 for two: containerstore.com.

Written by

Betsy Goldberg

APRIL 2016

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T H E O R G A N I Z I N G E X P E R T S : J E N I A R O N , E R I N R O O N E Y D O L A N D, J U L I E M O R G E N S T E R N , A N D B E T H P E N N .

LO W- E F FO RT L EG O D RO P

Why fuss with a carrying case when you’re the only one putting figurines in said case? This one-sizefits-all sack makes for speedier cleanups, and it doubles as a portable play mat. TO BUY: Lay-n-Go Lite, $22, layngo.com.

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WINTER CLOTHES But do you have to? Well, yes, if you want your items to weather the off-season successfully. (No holes!)

Sort and organize

STORE KNITS IN CANVAS BINS Clothes, particularly those made from natural ibers, need air circulation, says Stu Bloom, the owner of Rave FabriCare, a garment- and textile-care company in Scottsdale, Arizona. Airtight containers can hold moisture in fabrics, potentially causing mold, mildew, yellowing, or a musty odor. Already own plastic bins? Poke a few holes in them, or cover stacks of sweaters with old, clean cotton pillowcases or sheets to protect them from dust when they’re stored on a shelf. Pack the heaviest items on the bottom, the lightest on top.

S P EC I A L S EC T I O N

Pull out all your winter clothes and separate them into three piles: wash, dry-clean, and good to go. Don’t forget your hats, scarves, and gloves. While you’re at it, ditch anything that’s outdated or damaged. This is also a good time to vacuum the closet and wipe down shelves.

WA S H , T H E N PAC K , E V E RY T H I N G Yes, this is a drag, but washing and dry-cleaning garments that have been worn is the best way to prevent pests from attacking, says Steve Boorstein, the author of The Clothing Doctor’s 99 Secrets to Cleaning and Clothing Care. Moths, silverfish, and other creepy crawlies love munching on the sweat, food residue, and body oils (yum) left on clothes. A thorough laundering can also help to eliminate stains that may be invisible now, but that will appear in six months, when it may be too late to get them out.

Written by

Michelle Crouch

5 WHAT ABOUT VACUUM STORAGE BAGS?

Use these space-savers for clothing made of synthetic fabrics, like puffy polyester coats and ski pants, which won’t wrinkle as badly or dry out during the sixmonth storage period.

PICK A G O O D S P OT Store bins and bags in a cool, dark, dry, and ventilated area—perhaps under a bed or in a guest room. Is the basement your only option? Add silica-gel packets to the bins, use a dehumidifier to absorb moisture, and place bricks under the bins to keep them off the floor. Avoid the attic; high temperatures can cause fibers to become brittle.

Hang tailored pieces If you have room in a closet, stow garments such as dresses, coats, and silk or leather items on wooden or padded hangers. Then place them in breathable garment bags or slip a clean cotton sheet over a rack. No hanging space to spare? Fold items with tissue paper inside bins. Never store anything in dry-cleaning bags, which trap chemicals and moisture and cause yellowing.

6 KEEP PESTS AWAY Drop cedar blocks, balls, or sachets into the storage containers, and slip cedar rings on hangers. (Be careful that the cedar doesn’t touch fabric; it may stain.) Cedar repels insects, but only if its odor is strong. Revive the scent every 6 to 12 months by sanding it lightly. Or opt for sachets illed with lavender; bugs despise its scent.

APRIL 2016

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S P E C I A L T H A N K Y O U T O M A R J O R I E M . B A K E R , A C LO T H I N G A N D T E X T I L E S E X P E R T AT T H E U N I V E R S I T Y O F K E N T U C K Y.

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REST EASY Want a gorgeous, dreamy bed that isn’t a nightmare to make? Use this neat cheat sheet.

Written and Styled by

Rachael Weiner Photographs by

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David Meredith

S O F T S T Y L I N G BY R E B E C C A P U R C E L L . C H A I R , C L I C .C O M .

Mixing and matching linens doesn’t have to be so confounding. The following pages show you how.

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L AY E R S H A D E S O F O N E C O LO R Pairing solid pillows and sheets in a single color scheme is about as goofproof as a bedding set, but it looks a lot more interesting. You can build on what you already have: It’s fine to mix textures and weights if all the fabrics are in the same spectrum.

TO BUY: Essential Euro sham in graphite, $60, parachutehome. com. Linen pillowcases in fog, $60 for two, parachutehome. com. Blair mid-

night sham, $100, pompom athome.com. Percale duvet cover in slate, $169, parachute home.com. Oversize washed linen bed scarf in frost gray, $99, westelm.com.

Swap out your stiff lumbar for a standard pillow in a sham with a soft detail, like a fringed edge or a satin border.

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D U V E T A N D P I L LO W I N S E R T S , B R O O K L I N E N .C O M ; E M M E R S O N R E C L A I M E D -W O O D B E D, W E S T E L M .C O M . V I N TA G E M O R O C C A N R U G , K U LC H I N E W Y O R K .C O M .

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Scooch sleep pillows together instead of centering them in front of Euros— less structure, more style.

Why not decorate with the sun, moon, air and clouds?

Skylights do more than transform your room. They also lift your mood by ﬁlling spaces with fresh air and natural light. Discover countless reasons why skylights can make a dramatic diference in your home at whyskylights.com

Pile on the pillows, but instead of using traditional decorative shams and embellished accent pillows, layer standard ones (meant for sleeping) in one color combo, with various prints (stripes, dots, florals).

westelm.com. Organic Mod standard pillowcase, $29 for two, westelm. com. Choti standard pillowcase, johnrobshaw. com for similar. Ink Dots pillowcase, $46 for two, pinecone hill.com. Navy Imperfect Plus pillowcase, $38 for two, schoolhouse electric.com.

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T R E AT YO U R BED LIKE A CUSHY COUCH

TO BUY: Diamond Ticking quilt, $154, school houseelectric. com. Pillows, clockwise from top right: Cortina Blue throwbed, $375, hedge houseusa.com. Hunir Indigo pillowcase, $95 for two, john robshaw.com. Organic Mini Bud pillowcase, $29 for two,

Toss pillows casually. However they land will look nice and inviting. And don’t skimp: You need five to seven to fill out the space on a full- or queen-size bed.

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This striped, 35-by-76-inch thing is a down “throwbed,” and it will change your life, because it can go from bedroom (headboard) to living room (lounger).

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KEEP IT CLEAN AND GR APHIC For the serene, streamlined look of a hotel-style bed, pair solid pieces in contrasting neutrals. Choose a bedspread and shams with intricate stitching for just a touch of texture.

TO BUY: Classic pillowcases, $35 for two; classic core sheet set, $109: brooklinen. com. Quilt cushion rectangle (shams) in dark gray, $149 each, clever spaces.com. Quilt No. 5, $410, louisegray.com.

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Try a hotel trick: Instead of propping up pillows, lay them flat. In front of each stack, lean an overstuffed cushion that can move to the back when you get in bed to soften a solid headboard.

Let an artful color-block quilt be the star of the bed, surrounded by understated accents.

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FIND THE RIGHT MATTRESS

For a gallery of great picks, go to realsimple. com/betterbed.

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The vets will see you now LE T THE FUR FLY! ANSWER S TO YOUR HAIRIE ST PE T QUE STIONS.

Q. thrill of the spill Why does my cat splash water out of his dish and prefer to drink it off the floor?

Solomon. The dryness can occasionally signify something serious, like a skin disorder or an autoimmune disease, so it’s a good idea to have an examination by a vet. But in most cases the condition is harmless, says Kay. Treatment isn’t necessary, but if you want to clear up the laky skin, apply a thin coat of Aquaphor on the area twice daily. Rub it in well so your dog can’t lick it of. The dryness should disappear after about a month, says Kay, but you’ll need to continue applying the ointment to keep the snout smooth.

dog-sitting debate When you travel, is it better to kennel a dog at a vet’s or have someone take care of him at home? J. S. T., via Facebook

A. In-home care is generally more foolproof because “most animals are more comfortable in their own environment,” says veterinarian Nancy Kay. (Try petsit. com for referrals; daily fees range from $30 to $60.) But take temperament into consideration: If your pup gets anxious when left alone—or if you feel more assured leaving him in the care of a vet—a kennel ($35 and up a night) may be better. If possible, do a one-night trial beforehand, says veterinarian Ann Hohenhaus: “That way, if there’s a major issue, you can bring your dog back home.”

Written by Sarah Grossbart Photograph by Stephen Swintek

Q. dry spell My cocker spaniel’s nose is crusty. It doesn’t bother him, but it looks awful. Is there a natural fix? A. M., via Facebook

A. Just like human beings, dogs can be prone to, er, “ruf” skin. This thickening of the skin on the nose pad, known as nasal hyperkeratosis, is especially common in cocker spaniels, boxers, and Labradors, says veterinarian Donna

APRIL 2016

A. Sometimes a kitty who splashes is just being playful; other times, it’s because she’s a picky drinker. “Some cats don’t like how it feels when their whiskers touch the side of the bowl,” says Solomon. Others have a hard time drinking from a deep dish because the tall sides constrict their vision, making them uncomfortable, says animal-behavior expert Steven Appelbaum. To curb the habit, try switching to a latter, wider dish or even a moving-water fountain (Drinkwell Original pet fountain, $45, store.petsafe.net). It may also help to move the drinking spot away from windows, since light hitting the water can tempt some cats to splash. And place a towel under the dish, says Appelbaum: “If your cat can no longer drink the water of the ground, there’s no more reward.”

THE PET EXPERTS STEVEN APPELBAUM,

president of the Animal Behavior College, in Santa Clarita, California. ANN HOHENHAUS, D.V.M., Animal

Medical Center, New York City. NANCY KAY, D.V.M., author

of Speaking for Spot. DONNA SOLOMON, D.V.M., Animal

Medical Center of Chicago.

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L. H., via Facebook

Cats Can’t Resist™ ®/™ Trademarks © Mars, Incorporated 2016. TEMPTATIONS™ Cloud design is a trademark.

When you buy any vitamin or supplement at Walgreens, you help provide vitamins that prevent blindness and other serious conditions for undernourished children around the world.

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY S A R A H G U I D O - L A A K S O FO R H A L L E Y R E S O U R C E S , I N C .

The latest beauty products and tips that save time, money, and—best of all— your sanity.

Not too fine a point It has all the creaminess of a traditional lipstick with the precision of a lip pencil. Use the tip of the Bobbi Brown Art Stick ($28, bobbibrown cosmetics.com) to trace your lips, then the lat edge to ill in rich color. Sharpener included. Written by Heather Muir Photographs by Ralph Smith

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PRETTY SMART

BEFORE YOU APPLY A STRIP, HOLD IT UP TO YOUR EYE AND TRIM ANY EXCESS LENGTH TO ENSURE A BETTER FIT.

G O L D RU S H

A good sport

Batter up

BEDAZZLED LASHES—BECAUSE, WHY NOT? MARC JACOBS BEAUTY LAMÉ NOIR ULTRAGLITTERING MASCARA ($26, SEPHORA.COM) WAS CREATED TO MIMIC SHINY LAMÉ FABRIC AND LOOKS GROWN-UP GLAM (NOT WACKY) WHEN WORN OVER BLACK MASCARA.

Glide water-resistant Fresh Sugar Sport Treatment Sunscreen SPF 30 ($25, fresh.com) on easy-to-forget spots that burn: lips, nose, and ears. It’s hydrating (thanks to grapeseed oil), doesn’t leave a residue, and smells like oranges.

False eyelashes are notoriously tricky and messy to use. To make it easier, the lashes in Ardell Press On Lash in 101 ($8, sallybeauty.com) come preglued with self-adhesive, so you just press the fake ones onto the base of your real ones.

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J U ST PL AIN F U N.

Go steady

Polish it off

Truer colors

Kale, yeah

This tool ensures cateyes turn out purrfect. Place the liner.designer by beautyblender ($16, sephora.com) at the outer corner of your eye and use it as a guide when applying pencil or liquid liner. Each edge ofers a new look.

A sparkly manicure is a slog to take of. Caption Polish Onto the Next ($6, dermstore.com) is a concentrated cream that stays on the nail (and doesn’t run) to remove glitter. Pour it on a pad, wait 30 seconds, then wipe of the polish.

Freshen your hair color and soften your roots at home with John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Visibly Brighter or Sheer Blonde Go Blonder In-Shower Lightening Treatment ($10 each at drugstores). Massage into dry hair, wait ive minutes, then shampoo.

Paciica Kale Detox Deep Cleaning Face Wash ($11, ulta.com) has an ingredient list that rivals a green juice: kale and seaweed, plus tropical-smelling mangosteen and coconut water. The sulfate-free gel dissolves makeup and rinses clean.

THE DUAL-CHAMBER TUBE DISPENSES A DEVELOPER AND AN ACTIVATOR SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO MIX THEM YOURSELF.

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Time-saving and (relatively) hands-off ideas that prove sometimes doing less is best. Written by Genevieve Monsma Photographs by Perry Hagopian

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H A I R BY D AV I D C R U Z U S I N G T 3 M I C R O ; M A K E U P BY G R E G G B R O C K I N G T O N FO R N A R S AT S T O C K L A N D M A R T E L

10 tricks for gorgeous, lowmaintenance hair

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No. 1

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CUT L AYERS “Long layers that fall between the jawline and the shoulder blades give you the most versatility,” says Mark Townsend, a hairstylist in Los Angeles. “This type of cut looks great blown out but is even better air-dried. It also requires less frequent salon visits than a short style, a blunt bob, or heavy bangs, because the lines are more forgiving as they grow out. “You can get away with snipping a longlayered cut every three to four months,” says Los Angeles hairstylist Mara Roszak.

No. 2

No. 5

Try the Slip Silk Pillowcase for Queen ($79, sephora. com).

Treat your locks with TLC

This technique also works on dry hair— just spritz on a salt spray first.

No. 3

Style while you snooze Save time in the morning by prepping before bed: Wash your hair, apply a smoothing serum, and set your hair, says Harry Josh, a stylist and a creative consultant for John Frieda Hair Care. For loose waves and smooth roots, Sarah Potempa, a stylist in New York City and the inventor of Beachwaver (a rotating curling iron), suggests splitting hair into two sections, then twisting each side back, away from the face, and wrapping into small buns, Princess Leia– style. Secure with bobby pins; release (and shake out) in the morning. With short hair, secure the top half into two ponytails, pulling the hair only halfway through to create a rumpled A.M. texture.

S H AV E T I M E O F F YO U R B LO W- D RY “A smooth blow-dry is a waste of time if you plan to add texture,” explains Nunzio Saviano, a stylist and salon owner in New York City. Also, “hair that is too smooth will not hold curl as well,” says Los Angeles hairstylist Jen Atkin. Make blow-drying less tedious by “flipping wet hair upside down and blasting with a dryer until it’s almost dry, then go over only the top layer with a big curling iron to create loose waves,” says Saviano. The shorter your hair, the smaller your iron should be.

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No. 4

Go easy on the product To stretch out a shampoo for a few days, use very little styling product on day one, suggests Townsend, since stylers can attract

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“When hair is in good condition, it’s easier to style, because you aren’t trying to tame frizz or hide breakage,” says Roszak, who is an advocate of a weekly deepconditioning treatment, like L’Oréal Paris EverPure Damage Protect Mask ($9 at drugstores). “A treatment takes 10 minutes and helps repair heat damage and adds shine,” she says. Townsend also recommends investing in a silk pillowcase: “It won’t absorb as much moisture as cotton, leaving oils in your hair, where they belong.” Finally, pros sing the praises of Olaplex, a salon service (olaplex.com for salon locations) that is done in conjunction with a hair coloring to repair broken bonds in hair and to make strands less apt to break.

grime from the environment and make hair look dirty faster. Townsend recommends a few drops of smoothing serum, such as Dove Regenerative Nourishment Serum-in-Oil ($6 at drugstores), applied from midshaft to ends.

No. 6

A dry shampoo helps extend the time between shampoos. However, it’s important to balance out all that powder with a few drops of oil, applied from midshafts to ends each morning. “Otherwise hair can get very brittle and break of,”

says Townsend. Use a dry shampoo for no more than three days in a row or you risk compromising the health of your new hair growth. “Dry shampoo can build up on the scalp and start clogging the hair follicles,” says Saviano.

Try Aussie Total Miracle 7N1 Dry Shampoo ($4 at drugstores). And to smooth the ends, try Ouai Hair Oil ($28, theouai.com).

No. 10

No. 8

P RO LO N G YO U R C O LO R The ombré hair-color trend that started a few years ago made darker roots OK. And they’re still OK today. “I give off-theroot highlights to brunet or dark blond clients who want to stretch time between appointments,” says Stephanie Brown, a colorist at the Nunzio Saviano Salon, in New York City. “I choose a color no more than two shades lighter than the natural one, then start the color about a quarter inch off the scalp. That way, the grow-out is very subtle.”

On short hair, twist back a two-inch section from either side and pin in the back.

No. 9

Focus on the front If walking into work with wet waves (and damp shoulders) isn’t an option but you have no time to blow-dry thoroughly, Potempa says to blow-dry just the hair around your face, then put the rest in a loose French braid to air-dry. “This will ultimately create soft waves and minimize frizz,” she says. “And in the short term, it helps you look groomed, even if only 30 percent of your hair is dry. The key is making it appear like a deliberate style.”

If your hair isn’t wet or clean, spritz the front with water, then restyle just the part with the blow-dryer.

Think: big picture For some, “it may pay to invest time or money in one high-maintenance service in order to be lower maintenance on a daily basis,” says Cho. Some examples: Spring for a keratin smoothing treatment every three to four months to make blow-drying and frizz-ighting go more quickly. Splurge on a professional blow-out or “dedicate one day a week to giving yourself a blowout,” says Josh. That way, you can just do minor touchups for the next few days. Or cut your hair fairly short. This may require a salon visit every six weeks, but day to day, you’ll be able to wash and go.

No. 7

TWIST AND GO

If you’re going to air-dry, you can still shape your hair so that it dries in a polished way, says Jenny Cho, a hairstylist in Los Angeles. She recommends creating a defined part, then applying a light cream, like Suave Professionals Smoothing Weather Proof Cream ($6 at drugstores). Divide hair into a few sections and twist them away from your face. Then don’t touch your hair until it dries. Doing so minimizes frizz and controls hair without the hassle of a hot tool.

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LOOKING FOR THE BEST DRY SHAMPOO?

Go to realsimple.com/ dryshampoo.

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Don’t OD on dry shampoo

A FEW REASONS TO SWITCH TO POISE® FOR LIGHT BLADDER LEAKS

SEIZE YOUR POISE® MOMENT AND FOCUS ON WHAT YOU LOVE Unlike period pads, only Poise Thin-Shape Pads* have Thin-Flex® Technology. Poise® provides 3-in-1 protection for dryness, comfort, and odor control – plus so much more. Get a free sample of Thin-Shape® Pads at Poise.com. ® Registered Trademark and *Trademark of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW

ROA D T E ST

BEST SHADE RANGE

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Make Up For Ever Ultra HD Liquid Foundation Available in 40 (!) colors, from super light to super dark, this luminous liquid hides everything from spots to dark circles yet looks and feels nearly undetectable. TO BUY: $43, sephora.com.

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY S A R A H G U I D O L A A K S O FO R H A L L E Y R E S O U R C E S , I N C .

FOUNDATION For skin that looks and feels like yours (only better), these seven formulas cover all the bases. Written by Heather Muir Photographs by Ralph Smith

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3 MOST TRAVEL-FRIENDLY

Cover FX Click Stick Cover Click This petite dual-ended tube has a foundation stick on one end and a highlighter on the other. Push on one end to pop out the opposite stick. Swipe onto skin, then blend with fingers. TO BUY: $44, coverfx.com.

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ROAD TEST

4 BEST BARGAIN

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1 BEST FINISH (IT’S A TIE!) DEWY: Smashbox Liquid Halo HD Foundation This liquid blends seamlessly (no telltale neck lines) and gives your complexion an incandescent second skin. In 10 shades. TO BUY: $42, smashbox. com. MATTE: Nars Velvet Matte Skin Tint It contains vitamins C and E, plus rose fruit extract to control shine, for a matte inish “that doesn’t look or feel dry,” said a tester. In 12 shades. TO BUY: $44, nars cosmetics.com.

5 BEST SPLURGE

YSL Le Teint Touche Éclat Foundation Yes, it costs a pretty penny, but this luxurious luid glides onto skin, conceals nearly every law, ights free radicals, and leaves you glowing (thanks to golden pigments). One pump covers your full face. In 22 tones. TO BUY: $58, yslbeauty us.com.

4 AFTER YOU RUN OUT, KEEP THE CASE AND BUY A REFILL ($18)—LESS MONEY AND WASTE.

2 BEST FOR PROBLEM SKIN

bareMinerals Matte Foundation Broad Spectrum SPF 15 Oily skin meets its match with this loose powder that absorbs shine and blurs pores. “Even at the end of the day, it didn’t settle in my ine lines,” said a tester. Its click-and-lock cap prevents makeup bag spills. TO BUY: $28.50, bare minerals.com.

Maybelline New York Dream Velvet Foundation Like an Instagram ilter for your face, this whipped gel ofers a soft, matte inish, and it’s loaded with water, so skin gets a burst of hydration. TO BUY: $11 at drugstores.

BASE BREAKDOWN Boggled by all the foundation lingo? Here’s what it all means and which formula is best for you.

TINTED MOISTURIZER

CC CREAM

SPRAY FOUNDATION

This two-in-one offers sheer, dewy coverage (for that nomakeup makeup look), plus a dose of hydration, letting you skip a step.

If redness or sallowness is your issue, reach for this color-correcting cream that has light-diffusing particles to help even out skin tone. Some also offer skin-care benefits and SPF.

If you’re looking for an air-brushed finish, opt for a foundation mist. Hold it about 10 inches from your face and spray as you move from your forehead to chin.

SERUM FOUNDATION

If you like a liquid but find it messy, try this compact, which holds a foundationsoaked sponge. Press it into your skin to get full coverage fast.

BB CREAM

Short for “beauty balm,” this Korean-inspired makeup/ skin-care hybrid typically packs in medium coverage along with a moisturizer, sunscreen, and anti-aging ingredients.

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CUSHION COMPACT

These formulas tend to contain anti-aging ingredients and moisturizing oils to form an easy-to-blend, sheer veil that softens imperfections.

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How to finally— seriously, we mean it, for real this time—get your kids to clean up You’ve tried bribes and charts and screaming at the top of your lungs. But don’t throw in the towel (or, ahem, hang it up for him) just yet. Here’s how to make the training stick. Written by Sharlene Breakey Illustrations by Gwen Keraval

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CHILDREN SHARING in household duties—willingly, without a sponge being thrown at them—sounds terriﬁc. But getting there is a long and, yes, messy process—one that often doesn’t seem worth it. Not only do you have to teach them how to load the dishwasher but you also have to wrestle with the following: Is it important that they load it like you do? How long do you nag until you just do it yourself? And is it the best use of their time when they get home late from debate practice and have mounds of homework? Here’s the thing: Cleaning is a crucial life skill. “Research shows that doing chores as a child is a predictor of professional success. If we don’t teach children that life requires a willingness to do crummy stuf, we are not giving them the tools it takes to thrive,” says Julie Lythcott-Haims, the author of How to Raise an Adult, who, as Stanford University’s dean of freshmen, started noticing that her incoming students were lacking in practical skills. She discovered that parents—like her—who failed to teach their kids to pitch in were partly to blame. “We are doing too many mundane tasks for them,” she says, “want-

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ing to be loved, trying to make life easier.” Foisting those duties on your kids will be difficult—at ﬁrst. Keep two things in mind. First, cleaning chores need to be second nature. “If it’s a habit, it ceases to be a source of conﬂict,” says Gretchen Rubin, the author of Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives. That means it needs to be easy. (Won’t put a coat on a hanger? Buy a hook.) Second, don’t be a tyrant. Have an all-for-one vibe where everyone pitches in because he or she is part of a family, not because Mom will yell if you don’t. “Kids need to know that their help is valued. So appreciate it. When there’s less shame and guilt, kids tend to get with the program,” says Laura Markham, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. If they don’t? Blame the plan, not the kids. You may be expecting too much for where they are developmentally. (Or the hook is just too high.) These tips will help ensure that your dirty work has long-lasting results.

TO D D L E R S

WHAT IF… You’ve been doing everything for your kids from Day 1. (Isn’t that being a loving mom?) And now they’re tweens who don’t know where the hamper is. It’s never too late to start teaching them, says Julie Lythcott-Haims, whose kids were also tweens when she stopped waiting on them hand and foot: “Sit them down and, in a tone neither mean nor apologetic, say, ‘You are old enough to help out.’ When my kids asked why, if it’s so important, we never asked them to help before, we said, ‘That’s our mistake. But you need to learn these things, and it’s our job to help you do it.’ ”

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T E AC H T H E M TO… Hang up coats, pull up bedding, put clothes in hamper, bring plates to sink. Toddlers think of work as play, making this the ideal time to turn what they’ll think of as drudgery later into habits now. “Toddlers don’t have an internal sense of time or sequence. Putting a toy away so they can find it later isn’t a reward. But following routines gives them a sense of calm,” says Tovah Klein, the director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development and the author of How Toddlers Thrive. Use that to your advantage. Institute consistent tasks that you guide them through at the same time each day. “They also feel a sense of accomplishment, which develops independence,” says Klein. F O R B E ST R E S U LT S… KEEP IT FUN. Wearing underwear on your head while you race them to the dresser is a surefire way to get them interested. “And don’t get exasperated if they can’t manage,” says Laura S. Kastner, Ph.D., a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Washington and the author of Getting to Calm: The Early Years. Power struggles equal the end of cooperation, so if they balk, don’t dig in your heels. Instead, have fun giving them an assist. “Your goal is to establish a routine so that someday it’s autopilot,” she says. SAY IT OUT LOUD. Repeat little mantras. “Say, ‘When we come in, we hang up our coat. When we eat dinner, we put the dish in the dishwasher. When we take our bath, we put laundry in the hamper.’ In time, they will lead the way,” says Klein. MAKE THEM MINI ME’S. Toddlers will do almost anything that involves imitating you. Amy Palanjian, the author of the Best of Yummy Toddler Food books and blog, says, “I cut sponges in half to fit my threeyear-old’s hands, and she helps me wash dishes. You’d be surprised at how good little hands are at getting measuring cups clean.” Or buy a kidsize laundry basket that lets them fold and carry a load. When it’s time to scrub the bathroom or kitchen, give toddlers their own caddy, filled

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with little brushes and cloths, so they feel as if they’re pitching in, says Becky Rapinchuk, the founder of CleanMama.net. (She makes a kid-safe cleaning spray with 1 cup water, 1⁄4 cup vinegar, and up to 20 drops of lemon or orange essential oil.) It also promotes a team mentality—that everyone helps clean the house, not just grown-ups. COPY PRESCHOOL. Once your child starts school, he’ll have a set of routines for picking up the classroom. Use them. “Why have a whole new way to hang jackets, clear the table, or store blocks?” asks Kastner. Instead, try to capitalize on the cubby system and buy similar storage bins. You can even learn the school’s cleanup song.

E L E M E N TA RY- S C H O O L K I D S T E AC H T H E M TO… Put away coat and backpack, pick up toys, clear table and load dishwasher, wipe out bathroom sink and tub, vacuum, dust, clean toilet. “Kids this age like learning and becoming competent at stuf,” says Kastner, which makes it a great time to add some more complex jobs, like vacuuming, that go beyond picking up their own things. Even if you have a housekeeper, kids can still learn to scrub a toilet before company comes and wipe out the tub after a bath. One caveat: “Young kids want to become masters of their own universe,” says Kastner. “It’s your job to make tasks achievable for them. This is the age when parents can get into trouble. You may have been asking nothing of your kids and suddenly jump from zero to one hundred. Go slow and steady.”

F O R B E ST R E S U LT S… BREAK IT DOWN. Parsing jobs into easily visualized steps helps children have more ownership over the process. Kids don’t know what to do when you tell them to “tidy” their rooms, so write down a concrete list of three or four steps— put dirty clothes in hamper; hang clean clothes; dust top of dresser— that they can follow, says Kastner: “This helps organize the task in their minds.” PUT LIKE WITH LIKE. When setting up a child’s bedroom or playroom, organize it by zones. “Decide together on the three to ﬁve activities that they do in the room,” says Julie Morgenstern, the author of Organizing From the Inside Out. “Then store every-

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thing where they do it for easy cleanup.” You might not think to put small plastic sea creatures and Magna-Tiles together, but to the child who spends hours building geometric, shark-powered submarines, the combination makes perfect sense. DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHERE THINGS REALLY “GO.” Extend the activityzone idea to the whole house. Say your kids do homework at the counter while you cook. Don’t make them store textbooks and school supplies at their desks. Instead, give them a shelf in a kitchen cupboard for the books. “I put trays on the countertop, and that’s where the supplies live,” says Barbara Reich, a professional organizer and the author of Secrets of an Organized Mom.

RETHINK RECYCLING. Tidying up after an elementary-school homework project or a group art date can send kids into a tailspin. “Worksheets, coloring paper, tiny cut-up scraps—it’s all hard to pick up,” says Amanda Wiss, the founder of the organizing firm Urban Clarity. She recommends putting recycling bins wherever your kids work so they can throw away as they go. Make it something cute (an old wooden apple crate or a basket) to make you happy. CALL FOR A TEAM CLEAN. When kids are asked to help with the weekly cleaning of bathrooms or bedrooms, they are certain to get distracted. It’s normal. So instead of asking everyone to tackle his own room, make your way from bedroom to living room as a family—a single, unstoppable cleaning force. “One person flufs pillows; another dusts,” says Morgenstern. “Meanwhile, you can monitor the work and set the tone and energy level.” Bonus: You finish way faster.

WHAT IF… Your kids clean up but leave you with streaked mirrors and a jumbled dishwasher—and you’re a neat freak. “Do not reload the dishwasher in their presence,” says Markham. “Kids need to feel like their contributions are valued.” That said, you can teach as you go, as a collaboration. Says Markham: “Say, ‘Great, you cleaned the mirror. You know, there’s a streak right where my face is. Let’s try a paper towel on that.’” You stopped ighting your son about keeping his room clean. But now it smells, and there are crusty cereal bowls everywhere. Before you tell a child that you won’t poke your nose in his bedroom, set ground rules. For example: If you’re going to eat in your room, bring out the dishes every night or face consequences. Waking him up early to scrub cereal bowls will have an impact.

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T WEENS T E AC H T H E M TO… Do all of the above, plus any other routine household task they haven’t yet learned, like mopping the floor or doing laundry. “By the time kids are 11 and 12, they are sensitive to how others see them,” says Markham. “That makes them more interested in their appearance, but also in their home.” Of course, their standards will be different from yours (see the next page about leniency when it comes to the bedroom). But this can be an opening for chores—doing laundry or organizing the closet— that play to a desire to present their best selves. F O R B E ST R E S U LT S… ASSIGN A DRAWER. Makeup, deodorant, acne lotion. Middle schoolers with their changing bodies collect lots of ﬂotsam—and it all lands on the bathroom sink. Clear a drawer or provide a basket for them to dump it all. And toss in some cleaning wipes for the sink while you’re at it, says Jeanie Engelbach, the founder of ApartmentJeanie.com. MAKE ROOM FOR EXTRA TOWELS. Your

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little Narcissus suddenly needs one for her body, two for her hair? Add S hooks to the towel rod so there’s room for all to hang side by side. TIME ’EM. Even kids who have been clearing dishes for years will balk as their homework load increases. But it takes less time than they (and, frankly, you) think that it does, so set a timer for proof. “Bet them they can’t get the job done in 10 minutes,” says Wiss. If they don’t quite make it, see if they can come up with tricks for shaving of a minute or two, then try again the next night. CREATE A DONATIONS BIN. Getting rid of old toys and too-small clothes is crucial for keeping a house clean, but persuading a kid to spend all of Saturday morning going through stuf is a long shot. Instead, have a spot in the house where they can put things as they decide they’re through with them. Allowing kids to purge on their own terms gives them a sense of control, says Wiss. MAKE A PUNCH CARD. Fun still matters at this age. Wiss suggests customizing loyalty business cards at a site like Zazzle.com, then giving them a punch each time your kid takes on an onerous chore. Reward: a double chocolate-chip Frappuccino.

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“MY CAT LOVES T E E N AG E R S T E AC H T H E M TO… Do all of the above, plus bigger jobs, like cleaning the garage, and tasks they’ll need to know how to do in college. (Disinfecting a mini fridge?) By now, your teens may be more or less in the habit of putting away homework, clearing dinner, and even vacuuming on weekends. So go ahead and toss in an extra job now and then. “They need to get used to the idea that in life your boss will ask for more than your job description,” says Kastner. Just don’t blow your top when you find them texting, not sweeping. “Teens get distracted by whatever is in front of them. They’re not being jerks—it’s biology,” says Frances Jensen, M.D., a professor of neurology at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of The Teenage Brain. That’s because a teen’s frontal lobes (the part of the brain governing empathy, judgment, and cause and effect) aren’t fully developed yet. They still need clear directions—and patience.

done. “Put your arm around them and say, ‘OK, so we need to uncrumple the rug, put the afghan back on the couch, and scoop up the snack wrappers,’” says Markham. When they come back with “Ugh! I’ll do it later!” remind them that it will take only a minute and it’s not fair to others to leave common rooms a mess. “Teens are not uncaring—they’re just otherwise occupied,” says Morgenstern. DON’T TALK, POINT. When tensions run high, reminding your teen to wash the dishes might be the ﬂame that ignites the ﬁreworks. Kastner suggests listing agreed-upon tasks on a whiteboard. “If you’ve been clear about consequences, you can just point to the board and say, ‘This is your reminder. I want you to be successful so that you don’t lose your phone,’” she says. “That’s very diferent karma from nagging.”

WHAT IF… You only want to know the all-age, every-room, no-fail cleaning tools you should buy in bulk. The simple answer: Hooks. For coats in the entryway, towels in the bathroom, and jeans you can’t get your son to fold, every expert we asked ofered this solution. They also mentioned: Boat totes. They come in all sizes, they’re sturdy, and their role can evolve, from storing toys to carrying laundry, says Jeanie Engelbach. Labels, whether it’s Sharpie on washi tape or from a label maker. Kids need easy clues about where to put stuf. Trash cans. Not just in the kitchen but by their beds and the couch, too. “If kids have to walk across the room, gum wrappers don’t get thrown away,” says Barbara Reich.

F O R B E ST R E S U LT S… FACE FACTS. Your teen simply doesn’t

have the ability to ignore messages from friends while doing a boring task. Instead of lashing out (or giving up), gently nudge him back to reality. “I’m not saying be lenient—just treat teens like a hybrid between child and adult,” says Jensen. STAY OUT OF THEIR SPACE. Constantly ﬁghting about his bedroom? Shut the door. “Our kids’ rooms are their domain, where they get a break,” says Lythcott-Haims. Morgenstern agrees: “Their lives are complicated and in transition, and their space reﬂects that. What looks messy to us might make perfect sense to them.” LAY IT OUT. Teens aren’t big extrapolators. If there’s a multistep task before them, like tidying after friends leave, list what needs to be

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What’s the key to a no-brainer office look? A dress. Real Simple sorted through hundreds to find the smartest new options.

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BEST FOR:

Full hips and thighs.

WORK DRE SS E S

DON’T SHY AWAY FROM PRINTS.

They can look as professional as solids. Just stick to modest hems and necklines and pair with simple, neutral accessories.

THE GUIDE fashion

BEST FOR:

Body types with a tummy.

1 CALVIN KLEIN

$134, calvinklein.com. 2 ETIENNE AIGNER

$495, etienneaigner.com. 3 ANTONIO MELANI

$159, dillards.com. 4 T TAHARI

$98, Bloomingdale’s, 800-232-1854. 5 THE LIMITED

$110, thelimited.com. 6 DONNA MORGAN

$178, donna-morgan.com. 7 GAP $70, gap.com. 8 REISS $340, reiss.com.

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BEST FOR:

Straighter shapes.

A traditional pencil silhouette with pretty details is suitable for work, work dinners, and events that have nothing to do with work at all.

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9 HEIDI MERRICK

$498, heidimerrick.com. 10 JAY GODFREY

$355, jaygodfrey.com. 11 ELIE TAHARI

$368, Bloomingdale’s, 800-232-1854. 12 WHITE HOUSE BLACK

MARKET $150, whbm.com. 13 TALBOTS

COMES IN PLUS SIZES

$189, talbots.com. 14 VINCE CAMUTO

$148, vincecamuto.com. 15 TOMMY HILFIGER

$196, tommy.com.

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THE GUIDE fashion

CONSIDER A DRESSIER DRESS.

BEST FOR:

Hourglass figures.

WORK DRE SS E S

ADD A FEW INCHES.

Far from making this dress look dowdy, the extended hemline, which echoes the sleeve length, creates an overall elongating effect.

GO AHEAD— WEAR FLATS.

BEST FOR:

Petite proportions. THE GUIDE fashion

With a few particularly fancy exceptions, most work dresses look just as great with flats as they do with heels. The key to keeping the look pulledtogether? A sleek, pointy-toe shape, plus statement jewelry.

16 BABATON FOR ARITZIA $165, aritzia.com. 17 SERENA & LILY

$325, serenaandlily.com. 18 BROCHU WALKER

$398, brochuwalker.com. 19 SANGRIA FOR

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$69, simplydresses.com. 20 BANANA REPUBLIC

$158, bananarepublic.com. 21 ARIANNA ROCKEFELLER $198,

ariannarockefeller.com. 22 CLUB MONACO

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Prog re s s i v e Le n s e s

WORK DRE SS E S

BELTS ARE GODSENDS.

For the most flattering fit (no tailor needed), opt for a dress that adjusts to create a custom waistline. You’ll never find yourself stuck between sizes.

WHY NOT TRY WHITE?

THE GUIDE fashion

As long as the fabric is substantial (read: not too sheer or filmy), it can work yearround. Add black tights and heeled boots in fall and winter.

BEST FOR:

Whittling a waist.

23 L.L.BEAN SIGNATURE $109,

llbean.com. 24 REBECCA TAYLOR

$495, rebeccataylor.com. 25 THE LIMITED

$120, thelimited.com. 26 ANN TAYLOR

$139, anntaylor.com.

COMES IN PETITE SIZES

27 KEEPSAKE

$190, Bloomingdale’s, 800-232-1854. 28 ELIZA J

$138, nordstrom.com.

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ACCESSORIES: FURLA SATCHEL, $348, FURLA.COM. OLD NAVY TOTE, $37, OLDNAVY.COM. COACH FLORAL NECKLACE, $325, COACH.COM. JOIE SANDALS, $320, JOIE.COM. AURORA CUFF BY MIRANDA FRYE, $72, MIRANDA FRYE.COM. WREN & GLORY MOONSTONE CUFF, $60, WRENGLORY. COM. ROSENA SAMMI TASSEL EARRINGS, $75, ROSENASAMMI. COM. WREN & GLORY MOONSTONE RING, $30, WRENGLORY.COM. SKYLAR HEELS BY TALBOTS, $149, TALBOTS.COM. AUXILIARY FOR ARITZIA SATCHEL, $398, ARITZIA. COM. MAREA EARRINGS BY JEMMA SANDS, $172, JEMMASANDS.COM. GEMMA FLATS BY J.CREW, $135, JCREW.COM. EMERALD COLLAR NECKLACE BY MARGARET ELIZABETH, $255, MARGARET ELIZABETH.COM. WHITE HOUSE BLACK MARKET LACE-UP FLATS, $110, WHBM.COM. LULU FROST NECKLACE, $315, LULUFROST.COM. CHARMING CHARLIE BANGLE, $10, CHARMINGCHARLIE.COM.

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DESTINATION RACES KELOWNA // SEPTEMBER 4 Kelowna, British Columbia, provides the ideal backdrop for the only Canadian event in the Wine Country Half Marathon Series by Destination Races. The course runs from Vibrant Vine’s vineyards and orchards down to the Greenbelt, along the spectacular Okanagan Lake into Waterfront Park for the celebratory post-race Wine & Music Festival. WOODINVILLE // SEPTEMBER 17 The Woodinville-to-Redmond Wine Country Half Marathon is the newest edition to the series by Destination Races. Nestled in the beautiful Sammamish River Valley outside Seattle, this dynamic region blends urban flair with open space. This fast and scenic course starts at Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery and finishes on the City Hall Campus in Redmond, where participants and friends can enjoy a bounty of locally crafted food, wine, and beer at the popular post-race festival. Enjoy each race solo, or as a twoperson relay team. To register, visit destinationraces.com.

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THE GUIDE health

The enemy within Inflammation is the hidden culprit behind dozens of health problems. Here’s what you need to know about it—and the new science on how best to keep it in check. W H E N I T F U N C T I O N S P R O P E R LY, inflammation is a quick, natural response designed to help the body heal. When it doesn’t, it simmers at chronic levels, which in recent years have been linked to a wide range of ills, including dementia, heart disease, asthma, migraines, colitis, cancer, diabetes, and depression. In fact, chronic inflammation has been connected with the development of at least half the diseases on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s top-10 causes of mortality. It’s this sinister pervasiveness that has given inflammation a nega-

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tive reputation and made it a health buzzword—inspiring books, diets, and supplements, as well as serious medical research. While scientists are actively studying exactly why chronic (or systemic) inflammation occurs, what damage it can cause, and how we can reverse it, there’s much we already know about this bodily response gone awry.

Written by Sally Wadyka Illustrations by Marina Muun

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THE GUIDE health

Your defense system in overdrive Here’s how inflammation is supposed to work: When the body senses that something is wrong, due to injury or infection, it sends white blood cells and inflammatory cytokines, like C-reactive protein (CRP) and interleukin-6 (IL-6), to the area, to help repair the damage or fight off the invader. Certain pro-inflammatory enzymes, such as COX-2, produce prostaglandins on-site. This rapid, multipronged response usually generates a hot or inflamed feeling in the affected part of the body, giving inflammation its name. “Ideally we want inflammation to come in, hit hard, and go away,” says Christine McDonald, Ph.D., a member of the pathobiology department at the Cleveland Clinic Lerner Research Institute. But when those inflammatory chemicals are released on a continuous basis, without any injury or infection to confront, they go from healing damaged cells to harming healthy ones. “When it doesn’t turn of, you get chronic, smoldering inflammation that can eventually cause tissue and cell damage,” says McDonald. Although there is no definitive answer as to why inflammation sometimes goes haywire, researchers have identified a number of diferent factors that create chronic inflammation. A M A L F U N C T I O N I N G P R O T E I N.

In one recent study, researchers at Georgia State University’s Institute for Biomedical Sciences, in Atlanta, found that a protein called CYLD plays a critical role in controlling the inflammatory response to pathogens

(such as viruses and bacteria). “It acts like a brake pedal to turn off that defense,” says lead author JianDong Li, M.D., Ph.D. “Uncontrolled, overactive inflammatory response could likely be due to some defect in this brake pedal.” YO U R B O DY ’ S R E S P O N S E .

Ironically, you could end up with lingering, out-of-control inflammation because your body’s normal inflammatory response in the face of infection is subpar. “The body gets the signal to launch an inflammatory response to get rid of the bacteria, but it doesn’t do the whole job. A few bacteria hang out, grow, and trigger a bigger response,” explains McDonald. “Your cells keep giving off the distress signal, which continues to generate inflammation without ever totally getting rid of the bacteria that’s triggering it.” E XC E S S W E I G H T. “Excess adipose, or fatty, tissue generates inflammatory cytokines,” says Catherine Duggan, Ph.D., a principal staff scientist at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, in Seattle. “So being overweight can mean your body is in a state of long-term, low-grade inflammation.” P E R S O NA L I T Y T R A I T S . Are you the conscientious type? Then chances are you have lower levels of inflammation than someone less diligent. Study participants who were least conscientious had a nearly 50 percent increased risk of high CRP levels than did those ranked most conscientious, in a 2014 study published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology. “Those less conscientious are more likely to smoke, exercise less, and eat less healthy food,” says Angelina Sutin, Ph.D., one of the study’s coauthors and an assistant professor at the Florida State University College of Medicine, in Tallahassee. “The trait is also associated with greater

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stress-related activation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, along with excess body weight—both of which contribute to inflammation.” Another study links being open to new experiences with lower levels of inflammation. Although you can’t necessarily change your personality, you can assiduously strive to be open to new things. YO U R M O O D. More and more research is connecting stress to the body’s immune response and chronic inflammation. “Chronic stress changes gene activity of immune cells before they enter the bloodstream,” says Victoria Maizes, M.D., the executive director of the University of Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine, in Tucson. They think they’re going in to fight an infection, and even if there isn’t one, they help spur inflammation.

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Terms and Conditions By using the RELPAX $10 Co-pay Card, you acknowledge that you currently meet the eligibility criteria and will comply with the terms and conditions described below: • Co-pay cards are not valid for prescriptions that are eligible to be reimbursed, in whole or in part, by Medicaid, Medicare, or other federal or state healthcare programs (including any state prescription drug assistance programs and the Government Health Insurance Plan available in Puerto Rico [formerly known as “La Reforma De Salud”]). • Co-pay cards are not valid for prescriptions that are eligible to be reimbursed by private insurance plans or other health or pharmacy beneit programs that reimburse you for the entire cost of your prescription drugs. • Patients must be 18 or older. • By using a co-pay card, a patient may pay only $10 per prescription. Savings provided by each co-pay card are limited to $100 per month. Each co-pay card may be used once per month for twelve (12) months. Provided you continue to meet the eligibility criteria, you may be eligible to receive a second co-pay card during the offering.

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• Each patient is limited to one active co-pay card at a time during this offering period and the co-pay cards are not transferable. • You must deduct the value received under this program from any reimbursement request submitted to your insurance plan, either directly by you or on your behalf. • The co-pay card cannot be combined with any other rebate or coupon, free trial, or similar offer for the speciied prescription. • The co-pay card will be accepted only at participating pharmacies. • The co-pay card is not health insurance. • This offer is good only in the United States and Puerto Rico. • Pizer reserves the right to rescind, revoke, or amend the co-pay card without notice. • Offer valid from 4/1/11 to 12/31/17. No membership fees apply. For help with the RELPAX $10 Co-pay Card, call 1-800-926-5334, or write: Pizer, ATTN: RELPAX, PO Box 2225, Morrisville, PA 19067-8025. www.pizer.com You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

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THE GUIDE health

What’s more, a recent review from Rice University found a surprisingly strong link between stress, higher inflammation levels, and depression. In patients suffering from clinical depression, levels of CRP and IL-6 were up 50 percent. YO U R G U T. About 70 percent of your immune system operates out of your gut, so it’s no surprise that an imbalance in gut bacteria can impact the health of the rest of your body. If your gut’s microbiome is off, the resulting inflammation can help fuel conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome and colon cancer, as well as conditions outside the digestive system. “Problems with the microbiome can contribute to inflammatory conditions such as arthritis, depression, and neurological disease,” says Eamonn Quigley, M.D., the section chief of gastroenterology at Houston Methodist Hospital.

checklist if you notice any symptoms on a regular basis. A simple blood test can reveal substances that doctors use as markers of inflammation (such as CRP and IL-6), but unless you have specific symptoms, the tests aren’t always enlightening. “High CRP is a general sign that something is amiss,” says Maizes, “but it doesn’t point you to a specific disease.” That said, based on findings from a large clinical trial in 2009, many doctors now recommend testing CRP for women over 60 and men over 50 because of the strong connection between inflammation and coronary disease, even in patients with normal cholesterol and an average risk of heart disease. “A large number of patients with normal cholesterol had high CRP, and when treated with statins, they had a 44 percent

Swelling and joint pain are clear signs of systemic inflammation. Less obvious signs include gum disease, unexplained rashes, fatigue, headaches, and muscle stiffness.

E X P O S U R E T O A I R P O L LU T I O N.

We already know that cigarette smoke contains toxins that stimulate an inflammatory response in the body. Now research has also found an association between greater exposure to air pollution and higher levels of inflammationrelated substances, such as CRP and IL-6.

Feeling the heat

lower risk of sufering a major heart event,” says Nieca Goldberg, M.D., the medical director of the NYU Langone Joan H. Tisch Center for Women’s Health, in New York City.

How to quell inflammation The standard approaches for calming chronic inflammation include nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory (NSAID) drugs, like ibuprofen, and other medications, along with lifestyle behaviors. These include eating salmon, mackerel, and other fish high in omega-3 fatty acids, drinking flavonoid-rich tea, and getting adequate sleep and exercise. Now new research reveals more ways to keep inflammation at bay. Although none have yet been proven to completely eliminate your risk of health conditions like heart disease and dementia, all are beneficial strategies that will probably improve your health. L O S E A F E W P O U N D S , A N D TA K E

Losing as little as two pounds can decrease adipose tissue enough to affect levels of inflammatory markers. And increasing your vitamin D intake can help even more. In a recent study published in Cancer Prevention Research, overweight women who had lower-than-recommended vitamin D levels and then lost 5 to 10 percent of their body weight and supplemented with 2,000 international units (IU) of vitamin D

Inflammation isn’t always obvious. Swelling and joint pain are clear signs of systemic inflammation, but other signs include gum disease, unexplained rashes, fatigue, headaches, and muscle stiffness. Worse, chronic inflammation is often invisible until an illness such as heart disease or diabetes—or an autoimmune condition, like rheumatoid arthritis—is diagnosed. Your doctor might not be looking for inﬂammation, so keep your own

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daily saw a 37 percent higher reduction in the inflammatory cytokine IL-6 than did those who lost weight without taking vitamin D. B E S O C I A L . Loneliness causes chemical reactions that can contribute to cellular inflammation— which can increase the odds of related illnesses, including cancer and diabetes—according to a recent study from the University of Chicago. Researchers tracking 141 people over five years found that when people felt lonely, levels of norepinephrine (a fight-or-flight hormone) surged, increasing the activity of inflammatory genes. “It’s as if loneliness is interpreted by the body as a threat,” says Steve Cole, Ph.D., a professor of medicine at UCLA and the lead author of the study. The study found that loneliness predicted inflammation even a year later, and inflammation also predicted loneliness. “They may help propagate one another in a vicious cycle,” says Cole. S P I C E T H I N G S U P. Consuming a teaspoon or less of turmeric daily can reduce oxidative stress associated with inflammation, according to Chris D’Adamo, Ph.D., the director of research at the Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, in Baltimore. D’Adamo also recommends ginger, which inhibits COX-2 and prostaglandins from being produced, and cayenne pepper. P O P A P R O B I O T I C . Adults with inflammatory conditions (including psoriasis, chronic fatigue syndrome, and ulcerative colitis) who took a probiotic supplement for eight weeks had lower levels of inflammation compared with people who took a placebo, according to a 2013

study from University College Cork, in Ireland. “Even in healthy subjects, we saw a significant shift in an anti-inflammatory direction,” says Quigley, who was on the research team. He and his colleagues found that introducing the healthy bacteria Bifidobacterium infantis 35624 into the gut can improve immune functioning and reduce inflammation. M A K E I T A V E G G I E B U R G E R . Not only the amount but also the type of protein that you’re eating can affect your inflammation levels. Lower protein intake overall was associated with lower levels of inflammatory markers in a 2014 study published in the journal Nutrition. And when the intake was categorized, greater red and white meat consumption— no matter the overall amount— was linked to higher levels of inflammatory markers than was the consumption of plant proteins.

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Consuming moderate to high amounts of omega-6 fatty acids— found in corn, soybean, and grapeseed oils, for example—can promote inflammation and increase your risk of heart disease. “Omega-6 initiates inflammatory processes, and omega-3 terminates them,” says D’Adamo. But it’s more complicated than just omega-6 = bad; omega-3 = good. The ratio between the two matters. “Most Americans are getting 20 to 1, when ideally it should be more in the range of 3 to 1,” says D’Adamo.

Adults with a range of inflammatory conditions who took a probiotic supplement for eight weeks had lower levels of inflammation compared with people who took a placebo.

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5-MINUTE TR AINER

THE PLIÉ SQUAT What it is

How to do it A DVA N C E I T

To sculpt your calves even more quickly, try this move while balanced on the balls of your feet. Keep your heels lifted the entire time, as if you were wearing stilettos.

STAND with feet wider than hip-width apart, toes turned out diagonally at least 45 degrees. ALIGN your shoulders directly over your hips. PLACE your hands on your hips, or use one hand to hold a barre or a chair for balance. SINK your hips, bending your knees no more than 90 degrees and aiming them toward the big toes.

B O DY C H E C K

PAUSE at the bottom of the move, keeping your torso elongated, as if the top of your head is being pulled toward the ceiling.

1 To keep your torso aligned, imagine that you’re executing this move with the back of your head, spine, and tailbone touching a wall. Keep your upper body lifted, with chin parallel to floor and shoulders rotated open and back. 2 To ensure that your knees don’t buckle inward, press your thighs open throughout the move and continuously push down into your feet, placing your weight equally on heels and toes. 3 Draw your abdominals inward to keep your core engaged throughout the exercise. 4 When straightening your legs at the end of the move, keep your heels planted, but imagine them drawing toward one another until you feel your inner thighs activate.

PRESS into your heels as you return to a standing position. REPEAT this move 16 times. At the bottom of the last repetition, add 32 pulses—tiny up-and-down presses—to activate your muscles. Complete three to four sets up to four times a week for best results.

Written by

Kimberly Dawn Neumann

Muscles trained Quadriceps, adductors (inner thighs), gluteals, calves

Photograph by

Henry Leutwyler

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FA S H I O N S T Y L I N G BY A LY S S A D I N E E N ; H A I R A N D M A K E U P BY S U S A N D O N O G H U E FO R E N N I S I N C . I L L U S T R AT I O N BY B R O W N B I R D D E S I G N

Consider the plié squat your shortcut to achieving the lithe, gently muscular limbs of a dancer without ever stepping foot in a ballet class. “More graceful than a typical squat, the ‘wide second position’ is derived from a ballet exercise and will hammer those tough-to-reach inner-thigh muscles while simultaneously defining the entire leg musculature,” says Nicole De Anda, the national barre manager for Equinox, who created the routine on this page. In other words, do this move, a staple of barre workouts worldwide, to tone your lower half (almost) faster than you can say “tutu.”

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P H O T O G R A P H BY H A R R Y W H O P H O T O G R A P H Y

MAE TAI O’MALLEY • Founder and managing attorney, Paragon Legal • San Francisco and Taiwan

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gone. I probably picked up some of her entrepreneurialism. But I knew that whatever I did, I wanted to be more present in my own kids’ lives.

At Paragon Legal, where most of the 70 employees are women with little kids, attorneys decide when and where they work while handling cases for big-name clients, like Facebook and Autodesk. O’Malley, 43, spoke with Real Simple about her path, her family, and reimagining the way we do business.

Tell us about Stanford. I went there as an undergrad and majored in political science, music, and Japanese. I rowed crew and was recruited as a coxswain for the men’s team.

What was your childhood like? I was born in southern Illinois, and when I was about 12, we moved to San Francisco. My parents were both very career-oriented, so my older brother and I often ended up taking care of ourselves.

How so? Many years ago, I was sitting in a conference room, pitching to a group of potential clients who were all men and all Caucasian. I realized that for years as a coxswain, that was my world. As a coxswain, your whole job is to motivate. You have to find a way to be compelling to that crowd. You’re literally shouting at them and hoping that they listen

What fields were your parents in? My dad was a professor of linguistics. My mother had a lot of different little ventures, which created some family angst, because she was constantly

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What was that like? It was a huge part of my life there, and it shaped a big part of who I am today in terms of how I handle a lot of my interactions.

Written by

Jane Porter

THE GUIDE work & money

Lawyer Mae Tai O’Malley was fed up with the choice too many women in her field were forced to make between a competitive career and motherhood. In 2006 she founded a firm with a new model.

THE GUIDE work & money

to you. At first [being coxswain] was terrifying. But after a while, I had no problem with it. What was your career path? I started at a large, traditional law firm. Later I worked part-time for various technology companies. I got asked to do some work for Google in 2006. I had three kids at that point and couldn’t take on all the work, so I thought, I’ll just hire one other mom. In looking for that person, I met a number of attorneys. That was the start of Paragon. The demand for work was there, so I started bringing them on. How does it work? We start the interview process asking, “What kind of hours are you looking for, ideally? How far are you willing to travel? How long a project are you willing to do?” Once we get all that information, we look at what we have and try to match accordingly. Your lawyers are generally moms with school-age children. Yes. It’s not uncommon for our attorneys to take a two- or threehour window at 5 o’clock to pick up their kids from day

“Most of our employees take a two- or three-hour window at 5 o’clock to pick up their kids.” care, get them home, and spend a little time with them before getting back to work. As long as you’re getting the job done, it shouldn’t matter where or when you’re doing it. We’re very focused on the needs of the attorneys, knowing that when they do good work, that will bring us more clients. Tell us about your management style. I think I’m very good at distilling problems, getting past the emotions and all the other stuff. That’s been superhelpful in my job. When resolving disputes, I like to ask, “What is it really that’s making you unhappy? Let’s get to the core of that.” You and your family recently moved from San Francisco to Taiwan. My dad moved back to Taiwan many years ago, and my three boys have been educated bilingually since they were born. Every summer since 2006, I’ve

been bringing them to see my dad and to spend time in the place where their roots are. The kids enjoy it so much, and with our businesses, we could do it. (My husband runs his own online financialservices company.) So we decided to live there. The kids are now 13, 12, and 10 and in school in Taiwan. I travel monthly [to San Francisco] for work. How does your company flexibility policy play out in your own life? Especially because I’m in Taiwan right now, I do a lot of work at night and a lot of work in the morning. I take off from my office at, say, 3 o’clock to go pick up the kids, take them to their sports, and make dinner. Then I get back to work. What does success look like to you? For me, success is doing things for both my family and my community that will have a lasting impact—anything that could influence how women and girls might approach a career. I tell my kids that ultimately we’re put on this earth to help other people.

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MONEY WISE

Cash gifts: the new frontier Thinking of giving your niece money for graduation? Instead of a check, consider a taste of investing. With a service called SparkGift, you can select from more than 6,000 stocks and funds to send as an e-gift, spending as little as $20 or as much as $2,000. You can buy stock in a company your recipient cares about. (GameStop or Netflix, anyone?) When she retrieves her gift, she can open a free brokerage account and access her investment. SparkGift also has a registry service for occasions like a wedding or a Bar Mitzvah. For young ‘uns, stocks stay in a custodial account until the recipient is age 18 or 21 (depending on the state). As for fees, senders pay $3 per gift, plus 3 percent of the gift value. So for a $100 gift of stock, the total would be $106. And who knows what that might grow into. –KAITLYN PIRIE

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What type of worker are you? Time management, like everything else, is personal, says workplace expert Carson Tate, the author of the book Work Simply. The trick is to know your “productivity style” and to play to it. Tate breaks down the four styles—and how each can function to maximum capacity. 2 The Prioritizer

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The Planner You add things to your to-do list that are already done—just for the joy of crossing them of. Most of your e-mails consist of bullet points and action items. And you heart your calendar.

GO INWARD

MAXIMIZE YOUR already organized mind by batching and scheduling tasks. “Set a time to make all your phone calls each morning,” says Tate. “Plow through document iling all at once.” And even schedule blocks of time for thinking and relecting. “Once you set a schedule,” she says, “you’re likely to stick to it.”

Quiet, cerebral jobs can fall through the cracks for Planners, who are so task-oriented. Batching all your “thoughtwork” will help you concretize it and give it the focus it needs.

Written by

Jennifer Chen Illustrations by

Robert Samuel Hanson

When a colleague tries to chat you up, you’re tapping your (mental) watch, thinking, Just the facts, ma’am! You send direct, one-sentence e-mails. You like data. And you know just what needs to get done and the order in which it should be done. TIME YOURSELF running through your work routines. (Chances are you already have a fair number of routines.) How long does it take to respond to your morning messages? How long to review notes before a meeting? “Prioritizers have a competitive mindset,” says Tate. “When you have the data, you’ll be motivated to best your score.” Also, see what you can routinize that you haven’t yet. For example, you might want to create templates for e-mails you ind yourself sending over and over again.

MORE HOURS IN THE DAY

3 The Arranger Your e-mails start with a warm “How are you?” and are packed with info and questions. You’re a natural facilitator of projects, and you do your best work when collaborating with others. SCHEDULE TIME every day to interact,

even when most of your urgent work is solo. “When Arrangers spend too much time working on solitary tasks and projects,” says Tate, “their eficiency and energy drop.” Other types of external stimulation (not just the human kind) can also make it easier for you to focus. Listening to quiet music while you work, for example, could actually improve your concentration. FOR MORE FROM THIS EXPERT, GO TO CARSONTATE.COM.

EPIC (WORK) FAIL: When I was in high school, I had a job at a vet’s office. One day, a hamster was brought in to have a growth removed. The vet tech and I were prepping him for surgery. She was shaving him, and I was supposed to be vacuuming up the hair. I sucked up the whole hamster instead! I was terrified that I had killed him. But the vet fished him out of the vacuum tank, and it turned out he was fine. —CRYSTAL L., VIA FACEBOOK

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4 The Visualizer A whiteboard, markers, and Post-its are your favorite companions. You often send lorid e-mails about ideas, and you’re game for creative risks. Ideas low, but process can be a drag for you. VARIETY HELPS keep you happy and productive, says Tate, so when possible, organize your day to alternate between hohum tasks and active, creative work. Switch things up every 20 minutes or so if you can. A visualizer tends to stay energetic, focused, and engaged when acting “as a sprinter, rather than a marathoner,” says Tate.

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Let’s be honest: There are HR departments, and there are HR departments. At some companies, you have top-notch, welltrained professionals—people who will say, “This is a safe space. You and I are going to decide together what I’m going to share and not share.” They can help steer what happens next, even if that just means providing guidance in how to talk to your boss. And then there are other companies, where you have HR people who aren’t really trained properly in employee relations. If you’re not sure what sort of department you’re dealing with, test the waters: Go in for a meet-

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This is real 04. 2016

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GALERIES (WASHINGTON, D.C., 2011)

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Written by Stephanie Sisco Photographs by Francesco Lagnese Styled by Rachael Weiner

the

BRIGHT side IT’S THE EASIEST WAY TO DECORATE: PAINT YOUR WALLS WHITE, AND BRING IN BIG, HAPPY HUES. THIS CHEERFUL CHARLESTON HOUSE SHOWS HOW TO PULL IT OFF WITH FLYING COLORS.

FOLLOW THE RAINBOW The key to using colors of all stripes? Repeat one or two so the space feels cohesive. Here, homeowner Chassity Evans piled on the pink (pouf, pillow, rug, blankets) to tie the room together. She also showcased the various shades in creative ways: layering throws on ladders, leaning art on a windowsill, topping a graphic rug with a striped one. For balance, neutral lamps and classic wood tables offset the bright hues. TO BUY: Florence and Olivia down pillows, $128 each, luliewallace.com. Potato Print blue slate pillow, $139, rebeccaatwood.com. Artwork, susiebettenhausen. com. Peruvian Heirloom wool rug, celadonathome. com for similar.

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Chassity and her husband, Josh, bought their Charleston, South Carolina, bungalow four years ago, they were looking for more than just a location change—they needed a style switch-up, too. “Our old house felt heavy, with closed-off rooms and ornate details, so we wanted to lighten it up this time,” says the mother of two children (Lilly, 6, and Fletcher, 4) and creator of the fashion and lifestyle blog Look Linger Love. “I realized that a clean, airy backdrop—white walls, light floor—gives you freedom to play around with colorful accents, just as neutral clothes are a blank canvas for bright accessories.” With some clever color-mixing moves, she turned their home into a stylish yet easygoing space. “It’s the look we always wanted,” she says. “We’re staying put for a long time.”

CONTAIN THE COLOR

Morning coffee, after-school snacks, and neighbor visits all take place on this swing seat (the size of a twin bed) built by Josh.

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You can go crazy displaying all kinds of art when you “cage it in” on recessed shelving. This allwhite built-in, in the kitchen, shows off a rotating collection of family favorites: works by local artists alongside Lilly’s and Fletcher’s paintings. “Normally you’d see something like this in a living room, but why not try a gallery in a kitchen? Getting to look at art while I’m cooking makes me feel connected to the rest of the house,” says Chassity. She stashes plates and platters in the cabinets below.

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GET GRAPHIC A small space is the ideal place for a risky design move. “I always loved the look of Popham’s tile but was afraid to commit, so I inally went for it with this 151⁄2-by7-foot floor space,” says Chassity. She grounded the look by painting the brick wall white (Pure White by Benjamin Moore) and keeping the rest of the space spare, with only a rustic display stand for art and a straw basket for shoe storage. (Coats and backpacks live in a nearby closet.) “Walking in through an airy entryway makes me smile every day,” she says. TO BUY: Venice basket, $88, elizagranstudio.com. Artwork (far left), sallybenedict.com.

FRAME IT IN WHITE Let a big, bold painting be the standout piece in a room by keeping all of the other elements quiet. That’s the strategy Chassity used in this breakfast nook, pairing a vivid watercolor painting bought online with neutral, toned-down furniture. The wood table’s pedestal base ofers extra legroom, and the swiveling vegan-leather chairs—originally meant for the home office—are easily wipeable and a cinch to climb in and out of. TO BUY, THIS PAGE:

The Original Watercolor Giclee Print on Canvas, $650 (42 by 90 inches), shop blackcrow.com. OPPOSITE:

Winsdor Overdyed Grove rug, $309 (four by six feet), rugsusa.com. Honeycomb wall

shelves, $59 each; Straight & Narrow book ledges, $25 each: landofnod. com. Canvas wall banner, $75, sharptooth studio.etsy.com. Chas love seat (similar to shown), $750, pier1.com.

SPAN THE FULL SPECTRUM The trolls are in charge of this playroom’s palette (hot pink! bright orange! neon yellow!). Any colorful grouping looks deliberate when you display it on shelves painted the same white shade as the walls, to blend in. Chassity anchored the space with a four-foot-wide deep blue sofa and a (stain-hiding) overdyed rug. Even the windows got a dose of color, with the kids’ paintings adhered with washi tape and a playful pennant hung right above.

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DIAL DOWN THE TONES, PUMP UP THE PATTERN A bedroom with lively prints can still feel restful if your color choices are calming. Here, Chassity used accents in sea-inspired shades: a nautical-navy headboard, aqua green pillows, and walls painted sky blue (Woodlawn Sterling Blue by Valspar). Symmetry makes a space soothing, too, so she flanked the bed with matching nightstands and space-saving sconces.

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LAYER YOUR WHITES With spectacular architecture and design elements (herringbonetile floor, glossy tub), there’s nothing more impactful than white. The ultimate inishing touch: a wavy white pendant. “The shape reminds me of the water,” says Chassity. “It makes this room relaxing and elegant at the same time.” Striped towels, kids’ drawings, and a potted palm add just the right splash of color. TO BUY, OPPOSITE PAGE:

White with Peacock Green throw-pillow cover, $58, celadonathome.com. Articulating Industrial Brass Scissor lamp, $299, photonicstudio.etsy.com. Sierra Hemstitch duvet cover, from $349 (full/ queen), matouk.com.

Metallic pieces reflect light, energizing a white space.

PAIR WHITE ELEMENTS WITH RICH ACCENTS “You need a little texture or softness to keep a mostly white space from veering too ‘hospital,’ ” says Emily Henderson. “Wood flooring, cognac leather furniture, natural linen drapes, and brassy accents can all bring some life to white.”

3 JUST-RIGHT WHITES

USE WHITE AS A CANVAS

how the pros

WORK WITH WHITE MORE ADVICE AND INSPIRATION TO CREATE A SPACE THAT’S FAR FROM VANILLA

BE CHOOSY WHEN PICKING OUT WHITE PAINT Lots of things can trick your eye or sway you when you’re looking at wall colors: the surface next to the swatch you’re holding, the border on the paint strip, even the paint’s name, says Tara Mangini: “People are typically drawn to gray-tone whites because they seem crisp and clean. But on a wall, they can make the room feel icy, so a creamier white is often a better choice. Paint large test patches—about three feet square— and live with them for a few days before you decide.”

Designers share their favorite shades.

THE DESIGN EXPERTS EMILY HENDERSON,

interior designer in Los Angeles and author of Styled. TARA MANGINI AND PERCY BRIGHT,

cofounders of Jersey Ice Cream Co., a design firm in upstate New York. SHEA MCGEE,

designer and cofounder of Studio McGee, in Salt Lake City.

“Seed Pearl by Pratt & Lambert is on the greenerbluer side, which makes it super calming. Use it in a sun-filled bathroom or guest room or any other spot you want to feel clean and visually uncluttered.” —EMILY HENDERSON

“We love White Heat by Dunn-Edwards, especially for a living room. It’s crisp but also has a touch of warm undertones, so it still feels inviting instead of stark.” —TODD NICKEY AND AMY KEHOE

“Super White by Benjamin Moore is a bright white that bounces light around. You can use it on more than just walls—it’s great for ceilings, cabinetry, and moldings, too. I’ve even painted a floor this color.” —SHEA MCGEE

TODD NICKEY AND AMY KEHOE,

co-owners of Nickey Kehoe, Inc., an interiordesign firm in Los Angeles.

P H O T O G R A P H S BY P H I L I P F R I E D M A N

“White doesn’t feel cold if you think of it as the stage, not the star of the room,” says Shea McGee. That means using white walls and furniture as a backdrop for smaller, vivid elements that give the space some personality, says Todd Nickey. For example: an intricately carved vintage piece, a wildly patterned duvet, or bright yellow trim on the walls of a kid’s room.

COLOR PLAY

SPRINKLE IN SOME OF THESE EYE-CATCHERS TO ENLIVEN WHITE SPACES.

Lightweight and ultra-absorbent, fringed fouta towels are a luxe touch in a bathroom.

2 DINOSAUR OBJET This shimmery, hand-cast aluminum sculpture (opposite page) dresses up a bookshelf, a console, or a side table. TO BUY: Everett the Dinosaur, $40 (7¼ inches), cb2.com.

Low seats (13 inches tall) with a high-end look.

3 CITRUSY KIDS’ STOOLS Cheery seats to jazz up a bedroom or a playroom. Available in ive hues. TO BUY: Linear stools, $69 each, landofnod.com.

4 STRIPED TOWELS Punch up a white bathroom with these striped Turkish towels in hot hues. In six colors.

TO BUY: Honeycomb Weavy

Stripes fouta towels, $66 each, scentsandfeel.com.

6 FRAMED FLOWERS You don’t have to go wild with floral wallpaper to get the pretty, painterly look of botanicals. Just hang a petal-themed print instead. TO BUY: Coral Botanical art print, $24 (unframed), riflepaperco.com.

5 1

CANDLESTICK TRIO This sleek, clean-lined set helps a colorful tablescape shine without weighing it down.

ARTFUL VASES Vibrant tinted, textured, or paint-splattered vessels in different shapes and sizes bring style to any surface— mantel, nightstand, coffee table—with blooms or without.

TO BUY: Roundabout three-piece taper candleholder set, $40, cb2.com.

TO BUY: Conical vase (left), $50; Marinha vase (right), $20; Cebu vase (opposite page, left), $40; Bias vase (opposite page, right), $25: cb2.com.

Also available in three other versions in various colors. Hang one on its own or cluster a few on the wall.

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RELEARN ING TO

DRI

IN FAC ING A PHOBIA, ONE WRITER GETS A REFRESHER COURSE IN THE TWISTS AND TURNS OF LIFE. Written by Marjorie Ingall Photo Narrative by Holly Andres

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I CONSIDER MYSELF LUCKY IN LOVE AND UNLUCKY IN CARS. When I was 12, my dad fell

asleep while driving us home from a visit to Grandma’s. We hit a telephone pole at 30 miles per hour. I broke my femur (the thickest bone in the human body) and had to be cut out of the car with the Jaws of Life. I had two surgeries and spent months on crutches and in physical therapy. For a few months afterward, I was jittery in cars. But I got over it. I was young and resilient. Eventually I turned 16 and got my license. Although I was slightly anxious behind the wheel at ﬁrst (I have the sense of direction of a houseplant), I became a little more comfortable each time I put the key in the ignition. Then, when I was 18, I was slammed back to square one: As a camp counselor on a night of, I went to an ice cream parlor with four of my fellow wholesome teens. On our drive back to camp, a skunk ran across the curving country road. The driver, who had only recently gotten her license, panicked. She lost control and swerved wildly back and forth until we hit a parked milk truck. I went through the windshield and broke a shoulder blade and a finger. I crawled to someone’s lawn, across broken glass, as fast as I could. Everyone in the car was injured, but no one died. Later, when we saw a picture in the newspaper of our car in the junkyard, it was so squashed and splintered, it seemed impossible that anyone had survived. I grew up. I drove when I had to. Because I lived in New York City, there wasn’t much occasion to. But I got behind the wheel when I was visiting my family in Rhode Island or traveling for work.

When I met my husband-to-be, Jonathan, I moved to San Francisco for a time. Everyone there drove very slowly and got stuck at four-way intersections smiling at one another, inching forward, stopping, smiling some more. It was annoying but predictable, and therefore manageable. Eventually we moved back to NYC, now over a decade ago, and had kids. Since I was hardly ever called upon to drive, my fear—always lurking in the shadows like a mugger—got worse. I turned down invitations to friends’ houses if my husband couldn’t drive or if I couldn’t take public transportation. I passed on the crazy-cool Korean water spa in Queens unless someone could take me. My life started to feel more and more circumscribed. Being afraid to drive felt like a metaphor for passivity and dependence—and it was a huge and ever increasing source of tension between my husband and me.

Thanks, I’ll walk When Jonathan drove, I’d stare wideeyed at the road, making reflexive squeaks and jerks. It drove him nuts. Not only did it distract him but it also made him feel that I didn’t trust him behind the wheel. He sometimes felt as trapped as I did, knowing that we could never move to a place where I’d be called upon to drive. Then, a couple of years ago, in the middle of the night, we were driving with our kids to a vacation in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Jonathan was behind the wheel; our girls, 8 and 11 at the time, were in back. It was pitchblack and the road was deserted. Out of nowhere, right in our headlights and ﬁlling the windshield, were two giant brown bodies. Elk. I felt my skin get hot and time slow down and blood rush to my head and then the noise and a pow. All four air bags inﬂated. For a moment, I had no clue where I was and thought I was blind. (My past

I COULDN’T EVEN STORM OFF AFTER THE FIGHT, BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE H A D TO D R I V E . I FELT RIDICULOUS, U N A B L E TO EVEN MAKE A D R A M AT I C E X I T.

crashes had been in air bag–free cars.) The kids screamed, but I became totally calm, living the moment I’d halfexpected since I was 18 years old. The car was totaled, but we were OK. The girls sobbed to see the dead elk on the side of the road. A nice trucker ofered us a lift to our hotel. It wasn’t until we arrived that I saw I had a giant slash on my arm, from elbow to shoulder. I didn’t want to go to the ER. I still have a scar. I wouldn’t get behind the wheel after that. Then, last summer, Jonathan and I had a fight. Like most fights, it started of being about one thing but became about others. One of those was driving. We were at my mother-in-law’s house in Wisconsin, and I couldn’t even storm of after the fight because I would have had to drive. I felt ridiculous and powerless, unable to even make a dramatic exit. Suddenly, I became determined to face my fears, clip on the damn seat belt, and get into gear.

Caution: student driver I started researching. I’d wanted to use one of those immersive virtual-reality machines—like Grand Theft Auto in a giant egg—but I couldn’t find one anywhere nearby. What I did find was a Long Island driving school called A Woman’s Way. “Phobia counseling

for licensed and unlicensed drivers,” the website said. The founder, Lynn S. Fuchs, had served on the Department of Motor Vehicles’ advisory board for years. She’d helped rewrite the curriculum for prospective driving instructors. Her teaching methods were cited in the state DMV’s driving manual. She worked with only one other instructor—a woman named Myra. (Come on, how can you not trust

THE DRIVING I N S T RU C TO R , M Y R A , WA S I N H E R 60 S , W I T H BRIGHT ORANGE HAIR AND A S O OT H I N G , M OT H E R LY VO I C E. “ T H E A N T I C I PAT I O N IS THE WORST PA RT,” S H E P R O M I S E D.

a Myra?) On the phone, Lynn assured me that I could learn to cope with my driving anxiety, putting me instantly at ease with her friendly Long Island accent. She scofed at my desire to use a driving simulator. (“You need to actually do it!”) I made an appointment. The night before my first lesson, I lay awake staring at the ceiling. (I’d have counted sheep, except they’d probably have jumped into the path of a speeding SUV.) In the morning, I took a train out to a place called Valley Stream. Lynn’s associate, Myra, picked me up at the station. Myra was in her 60s, with bright orange hair and a hypnotically soothing voice, plus that same reassuring motherly accent. Still, my hands were shaking. “The anticipation is the worst part,” Myra promised. As she drove to a quiet neighborhood where I could get behind the wheel, she surprised me with her use of the horn at an intersection. I grew up thinking that anyone who used a horn was rude. Myra noted placidly, “I think of the horn as a conversation.” Sensing my doubt, she explained: “Your horn is your voice. It’s how you express yourself. You use it when you’re not sure another driver knows you’re there.

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You’re not being rude; you’re saying, ‘Hey, I’m here.’” This felt oddly like a feminist lesson, and I determined I was in good hands. Myra pulled over. We sat in the car for a few minutes talking. My fear, we discovered, focused on two things: not knowing what was going to happen and not being in control of a situation. But, Myra noted, when you’re driving, you are in control—you’re more in control than you are as a passenger. She had a point.

“Drive,”she said It was time to switch seats. I felt as if I were swallowing a giant rock as I walked around the car, opened the driver’s-side door, and slipped inside. “Adjust the seat,” Myra prodded. She showed me that she had her own brake and could stop the car if I got in trouble. She could grab the wheel if I froze or panicked. And she revealed a secret weapon: The student-driving car was equipped with an oversize rearview mirror. It was as big as a loaf of bread! I looked into it and heard angels singing. I could see so much more. Noting my excitement, Myra said, “You get one of these when we’re done! Anyone can buy one!” It snaps right onto the regular mirror. “People may laugh,” she continued, “but when they see it in action, they always want one.” We went through the pre-driving protocols: seat belt, mirror, hands on the wheel, and so on. Myra’s voice calmed my monkey mind and convinced me I could actually do this. When she was conﬁdent that I was ready, she talked me through pulling away from the curb. We were of. And I realize this is anticlimactic, but I felt…ﬁne. Where we drove, there were very few cars. Myra watched me closely and approved. “You’re a decent

driver!” she exclaimed. “You’re just a nervous and unpracticed driver.” I felt absurdly pleased, the way I had when my father-in-law, a veterinarian, told me I had a very well-socialized cat. As we meandered through the shady streets, I felt no fear whatsoever. It was almost boring.

Cruise control Of course, that first go-round, we’d kept things simple. At our second session, Myra and I drove on slightly busier streets. The time after that, we added the main drag, turns in traffic, and speed changes in and out of school zones. Each time I returned to Myra, my anxiety ramped up during the 24 hours leading up to the lesson. Then when I actually got behind the wheel, it mellowed out. This fits with research showing that inexperienced skydivers’ heart rates ratchet higher and higher until right after the moment they leap out the door of the plane, at which point their heart rates drop radically. In other words, the anticipation is by far the worst part. So says science! And Myra. In practice, I found that I had the most anxiety when someone was tailing me closely, obviously annoyed with my rigorous respect for the speed

I T DAW N E D O N M E T H AT A L M O ST E V E RY T H I N G M Y R A S A I D I N T H AT C A R F E LT L I K E A Z E N KOA N T H AT APPLIED NOT ONLY TO D R I V I N G B U T A L S O TO L I F E .

limit. I’d be very concerned about the feelings and emotions of this anonymous irked person, but Myra wouldn’t have it. “Stop worrying about him!” she would say. “Let him worry about him! You’re following the law, and if he wants to pass you, he can pass you!” Myra was smart about my anxiety. “The hardest moment for you,” she observed, “is when you touch the outside door handle.” She was right: I’d built up the notion of driving into this massive thing, and it had taken on a life of its own, one that had nothing to do with actually piloting a vehicle. In all the crashes I’d been in, I was a passenger—powerless. The fear of driving itself was what I’d been fearing, to lousily paraphrase FDR.

Guru Myra I laughed when it dawned on me that almost everything Myra said in that car felt like a Zen koan that applied not only to driving but also to life: “Don’t join the pack!” “Focus on the big picture!” “Leave yourself an out!” When she told me, “People drive their cars the way they live their lives,” it helped me focus on how I pilot. Am I tentative and jumpy (or perhaps, worse, aggressive and bullying)? I want to be a generous driver and a generous person, someone who respects taking turns and takes reasonable risks. My takeaway from the advice “Be aware of blind spots” wasn’t just to make sure a big truck could see me; it was to be aware of my own biases and blocks. My blind spot, as Myra had helped me realize, was that I was more paralyzed by the prospect of driving than by the act of driving. My husband had his own blind spot—that his tangible annoyance at me in the car made my anxiety in the car worse. We both had to tune in, focus, and work on vehicular growth and coexistence. Then there was a classic: “Expect

IN ALL THE CR A SHES I’D BEEN IN, I WA S A PA SS E N G E R — POWERLESS. I T WA S T H E FEAR OF DRIVING ITSELF T H AT I ’ D B E E N F E A R I N G, TO LO US I LY PA R APHRASE FDR.

the unexpected,” said Myra. Meaning, some schmuck could plow through a stop sign or a kid could chase a ball into the road, so don’t get complacent. This sounds negative, but it needn’t be. With a little practice, nervousness can be transmogrified into alertness. When you’re attuned to your environment and open to possibility, you can be ready for adventure and more attentive to life’s quirky moments—with your kids, your spouse, nature, a movie, a play, a physical sensation.

H A I R A N D M A K E U P BY S A R A H P R E VO

Road to somewhere Ordinarily I am the person whose eyes roll like dice in a craps game when people say anything too woo-woo spiritual. Mystical clichés make me hork. But facing something that scared the living daylights out of me made me see these gems as truly meaningful. Yes, Myra’s advice was meant to specifically improve my driving skills, but

when applied to something that had legitimately been holding me back for years, it felt expansive and potent. And it made me view the future as full of possibility, independence, and action. Driving really is about trusting yourself and being respectful of others without letting them dictate your behavior; you need the belief that you know what you’re doing, which it’s taking me a while to build. I still get a tiny stab of fear when I touch the car-door handle. And I haven’t driven on the highway

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yet, though I feel confident that I can. But now I can picture myself driving— taking my kids to the Korean spa, going to that cult ice cream place in Tiverton, Rhode Island, visiting friends upstate. Even if I never manage to, say, cruise down to Mexico in a convertible, hair blowing in the wind, one thing is for sure: I’m finally, after all these years, beginning to take the wheel.

CALL ME NOSTALGIC, but sometimes I just really miss handwritten letters. Long-distance phone calls from a landline. Sing-alongs. You know, oldschool things that make people feel connected. And I’m not alone. I talked to friends, writers, and other etiquette experts (some of their thoughts are included here) who also yearn for a return to forms of graciousness, kindness, and attention that have gone by the wayside. It’s stuff we easily can—and should!—do something about. And best of all, you don’t need fancy equipment. Not even your phone. (Especially not your phone.)

AND WRITE A LETTER. FOR NO REASON

1 PICK UP A PEN Written by

Catherine Newman Illustrations by

Clairice Gifford

Let’s write more, text less. Research suggests that writing by hand can activate your brain to remember more. And neuroscientist Kelly Lambert, Ph.D., the author of Lifting Depression, says that it can make you feel good, too. “The brain’s reward center is connected to one of the movement centers,” she says, “so one way to activate pleasure is through physical efort.”

It doesn’t have to be about anything monumental. And think about the people whose day you could make—parents, an old friend, a child. When my daughter was at camp last summer, I wrote her meandering letters about breakfast, her cat, and this: The dishwasher broke! I know, it really is Thrillsville around here. And once we started digging around in the clogged ilter, we found all kinds of things we didn’t know were missing—silverware and plastic knives and some weird scraper thing that I honestly don’t think was ours to begin with. She loved getting the letters, but more surprising, I loved writing them— relecting on the day’s small pleasures and on the happy ache of missing her.

WISE WORDS

“HANDWRITING IS AN IMPRINT OF THE SELF ON THE PAGE.” ROSEMARY SASSOON, BRITISH TYPEFACE CREATOR

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No one will hit you with a ruler if you don’t, but tending to your handwriting shows you care. And as Lesley Blume writes in her Let’s Bring Back book series, penmanship is “an indicator of elegance and individuality.” STEP 1

GET A BOOK An updated version of the 1866 cursive classic Spencerian Key to Practical Penmanship has fun workbook pages and details about posture. Or, for something a bit more practical, try Write Now, by Barbara Getty and Inga Dubay. It’s a grown-up version of the print handwriting you (maybe) learned as a kid. STEP 2

“To correspond with someone by computer often feels like trying to hold a quiet conversation during happy hour at a Bon Jovi–only karaoke bar.” BRETT RAWSON, FOUNDER OF THE WEBSITE HANDWRITTENWORK.COM

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3 IMPROVE YOUR PENMANSHIP

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PRACTICE Getty and Dubay suggest inding an example of your handwriting that’s your personal best. Identify letters that you want to improve, then practice those, keeping a consistent slope and height. Getty and Dubay also advise against loops, which they feel clutter handwriting. As they say, “Legible handwriting honors the reader.”

WISE WORDS

Aunt Kate: Really you are too generous—it is outrageous of you— but, of course, it is the most beautiful bracelet! And I am so excited over it, I hardly know what I am doing. You are too good to me and you spoil me, but I do love you, and it, and thank you with all my heart. Mary A “VERY INTIMATE” THANK-YOU NOTE EXAMPLE FROM EMILY POST, ETIQUETTE (1922)

4 BRING BACK

PERSONALIZED STATIONERY It doesn’t have to be two millimeters thick or heavily embossed. Any note with your name at the top “is considered the most personal,” says Lizzie Post, the greatgreat-granddaughter of Emily and the host of the podcast Awesome Etiquette. “It’s the stationery version of your Sunday best.”

B R IN G B

“My parents always send vacation postcards to my children—isn’t it funny how children often cause you to rediscover lost niceties?—who are thrilled by the dispatch from some novel place. They marvel over the postcard image, the stamp, the cancellation pattern. It’s the intimacy of the gesture. Yes, my parents could post a snapshot from California on Facebook, but the postcard has a smaller audience, which makes it feel personal and precious.”

5 BE A PROMISCUOUS THANKER Write thank-you notes not just for birthday gifts and homemade-lasagna deliveries but also to let other folks know that you’re grateful for them. Need ideas?

AMY SHEARN, AUTHOR OF THE MERMAID OF BROOKLYN

O Your favorite client or coworker (you know, the person you don’t complain about over dinner every night) for making your life easier. O Doctors, nurses, and hospital staf who have made a diference in caring for you or a loved one. O Your children’s teachers, caregivers, and coaches for their expertise and devotion. O Someone who gave you a gift ages ago that you ind yourself treasuring or using constantly. Re-thank that person. O Your favorite anybody. That’s right—bona ide fan mail to writers, actors, singers. I love what the writer Carolyn See had to say about this in her book Making a Literary Life: “These notes are like paper airplanes sailing around the world. They say to him or her, ‘Your work is good and admirable! You’re not laboring in a vacuum. There are people out in the world who know what you do and respect it.’ ”

6 SPEND TIME WITH OLDER PEOPLE

WISE WORDS

“When a person loses someone they love, they’re often hungry for specific stories and memories; it makes them feel connected and comforted. In a condolence note, share what you loved about the person, tell funny anecdotes, mention things you admired about their relationship. Literally nothing you can say is too great or too sweet or too cheesy.” JOANNA GODDARD OF CUPOFJO. COM, WHO WROTE ABOUT CONDOLENCE NOTES AFTER HER TWIN SISTER LOST HER HUSBAND

This isn’t a priority like it once was. It should be! A study published in Journal of Consumer Research said that as people age, they savor ordinary experiences just as much as over-the-top activities. Which means: PLAY cards or board games. Do a puzzle. ASK them to teach you: embroidery, Yiddish, how to make their famous Bolognese. BRING an emery board, polish, and remover, and give a manicure. MAKE a pot of tea, ask questions about their past, and listen. Photographs might help trigger memories. OFFER to explain their phone, e-mail, or TV. (Or get your teen to do it.) SING show tunes together, or put on the radio and invite them to dance. Bonus points for bringing along small children.

AC K

GENTLE S SWEAR

DAGNABBIT!

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FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!

7 TAKE CARE OF THE SICK

From kids home with the lu to friends in the hospital, life presents oh-too-many opportunities to tend to people who are ill. Unfortunately, I think we are kind of terrible at it. We’re not sure how to behave, bent over our devices rather than being present. My closest childhood friend died last year, and I spent many long days and nights by her hospice bed. Here’s my simple advice: Take of your coat, put your phone away, and ind something to do—leaing through a magazine, knitting, working on a crossword puzzle—that communicates that you’re available to help or chat but don’t need to be entertained. The same rules apply to someone who has lost a loved one. Just show up.

BRING BACK

THE WELCOME WAGON

8 READ ALOUD TO YOUR PARTNER

WISE WORDS

“With older folks, it’s easy to try too hard. They don’t want to hear ‘Are you feeling OK?’ every hour. It can scare the horses. One of the best interactions I ever had with an older person was the time we sat down with that photography book Century—a collection of photos from the 20th century—and looked at the pictures from the years of her childhood.” HENRY ALFORD, AUTHOR OF WOULD IT KILL YOU TO STOP DOING THAT?

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!

FUDGE!

More than one person mentioned the sweetness of adults reading to each other, one person closing her eyes and focusing on nothing but the sound of another’s voice and a good story. “I think it’s one of the most underrated pleasures of life. My husband and I used to alternate reading chapters or short stories every night,” says Amy Shearn. “There’s something so intimate, in this day and age, about sharing media with just one other person, rather than live-tweeting whatever is on Netlix.” Joanna Goddard says that her husband started reading aloud to her at bedtime when she was pregnant with their irst child: “I was too sleepy to keep my eyes open. But we’ve continued it because it’s a lovely way to lie close and see what jumps out or resonates with your partner.”

GEEZ, LOUISE!

What started as a 19thcentury practice of greeting frontier settlers with food and fresh water became a company (in 1928) that sent representatives to greet new homeowners with coupons. Now it’s (sigh) a direct-mail marketing endeavor. “But going out of your way for someone— dropping of a basket of treats for a new neighbor— is even more appreciated than it used to be,” says Jenny Rosenstrach, the creator of the blog Dinner: A Love Story. “We need those moments of connection more than ever.” WHAT TO BRING OVER O Anything homemade (mufins, soup) or goodies from a local bakery. O A map with all of your favorite eateries and playgrounds highlighted. O A stack of takeout menus. O Your name and number. (We’re the stucco house on the corner—twins in front yard!)

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“TRY TO INCLUDE A LITTLE SOMETHING ‘EXTRA’ WITH EACH MEAL—A FLOWER, A SMALL FAVOR, MAIL, OR A GETWELL CARD.” FROM “RULES FOR SERVING MEALS TO A PATIENT,” IN TEEN GUIDE TO HOMEMAKING (1961)

GOOD GRIEF!

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WISE WORDS

HEAVENS TO BETSY!

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HOLY MACKEREL!

JEEPERS!

WISE WORDS

“THUS THE FIRST RULE FOR A GRACEFUL MANNER IS UNSELFISH CONSIDERATION OF OTHERS.” FROM THE LADIES’ BOOK OF ETIQUETTE AND MANUAL OF POLITENESS (1860)

12 RAISE NICE KIDS

If many of us adults have forgotten how to be good company, our kids are doomed might need our help. At the very least, let’s teach them to:

PRETEND THERE’S A PHONE CORD When I talked to friends about nostalgia, the phone cord came up over and over again. Maybe it represents the sanctity of conversation—a kind of groundedness. You were not wandering the frozenfoods aisle. You were on the phone! Talking to your aunt or best friend. So the next time you call someone you love, imagine a cord. Sit down somewhere, talk, and listen—like it’s long distance in the olden days, and it’s expensive, and it matters.

11 BRING BACK

PARLOR GAMES! AND SING-ALONGS! Friends + food + booze is already the dinner-party trifecta in my opinion, but old-fashioned games and activities can ratchet up a gathering from fun to one-for-the-books. LOOK UP “FISHBOWL”

Just trust me. It’s a hilarious word-and-charades game that requires only paper, pens, and the timer on someone’s phone. Have fun—and then send me a thank-you note. AND THE LYRICS TO ADELE

WISE WORDS

Or Odetta—whatever everyone’s most likely to know. I’m a huge fan of sing-alongs. They ill my heart with joy, even if half of the voices are raggedy and out of tune. Ask friends who play an instrument to bring one. That is, if you’re thinking ahead. Really, the details matter less than the singing itself.

“If you entertain regularly or you have a well-visited summer home, a guest book is such a beautiful history of wonderful time spent on your property with you and your family. Guests can simply sign and date, tell a whole story, or anything in between. It’s a cool history for a house to have.”

WISE WORDS

“Listening—really listening—is hard. But it’s so important. Being able to focus on a single voice, being able to pick out the sound of your child laughing in a room full of kids, or even just homing in on the comforting sound of a teakettle whistle triggers an emotional reaction.” SETH HOROWITZ, PH.D., NEUROSCIENTIST AND AUTHOR OF THE UNIVERSAL SENSE: HOW HEARING SHAPES THE MIND

LIZZIE POST

JIMINY CRICKET!

MY WORD!

PHOOEY!

RATS!

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SUGAR!

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TARNATION!

O Stand to greet people. It’s welcoming, yes, but it also may require them to put down their phones. O Treat older people with respect. Use honoriics (Mr., Mrs., Dr.) unless instructed not to; ofer a seat on the bus; help with doors and coats. O Make conversation with adults, including eye contact (practice this with them), healthy backand-forth, and good active-listening skills, such as nodding and asking follow-up questions. O Be a gracious host. Even if friends are just over to play Minecraft, let the guests choose the activities, ofer them refreshments, see them to the door when they leave, and thank them for coming. O Be a gracious guest. Ask if you can help set the table or toss the salad; clean up the Lego blocks and watercolors you used; thank your host’s parents for having you.

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SMOKY SALSA VERDE HOW TO USE IT

Spoon it over fried eggs, a broiled skirt steak, or a roasted pork tenderloin.

KEEP IN MIND It’s not just sauce; it’s salsa—which means you want cohesive flavor but a little chunkiness, too. Don’t pulse the food processor so long that you end up with a puree. Got leftovers? It’s great with chips.

KEEP IN MIND

FRESH CHILE-LIME SAUCE HOW TO USE IT

Over sautéed shrimp, brushed onto corn on the cob, or drizzled over a simple soup, like butternut squash.

This is essentially a homemade Tabasco, with a hint of sweetness and a little less tang. (Think lime instead of vinegar.) It gets its vibrant red color from fresh Fresno chiles or red jalapeños. If you can’t ind them fresh, soak dried red chiles in hot water, drain, then blend with the remaining ingredients.

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YOGURT-DILL SAUCE HOW TO USE IT

Dollop on lamb chops or salmon, or try it on a baked potato as a sour cream alternative.

MUSTARD-AND-CHIVE VINAIGRETTE HOW TO USE IT

Spoon it over roasted chicken thighs, steamed green beans, or boiled baby potatoes.

KEEP IN MIND The trick to a silky sauce is getting the oil and vinegar to mix—and stay mixed. Use a blender, and consider making a double batch: Extra sauce makes a great salad dressing or a dip for kids’ chicken ingers.

KEEP IN MIND This sauce works well as a marinade, too. The yogurt’s lactic acid can help tenderize meat while infusing it with a tangy herb lavor. Coat chicken, steak, or lamb, then cover and refrigerate for 2 to 24 hours.

KEEP IN MIND

BROWNBUTTER CAPERRAISIN SAUCE HOW TO USE IT

Drizzle over roasted vegetables, seared scallops, or chicken paillard.

Brown butter gives this sauce a deep, nutty lavor, and it’s easier to make than it sounds. (Basically: Cook the butter.) Call on this sauce, with the classic raisin, caper, parsley combo, to add richness to lean foods, like caulilower, laky white fish, chicken, or even plain couscous.

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VEGETABLE

YOGURT-DILL SAUCE

MEAT

SEAFOOD

POULTRY

SMOKY SALSA VERDE MAKES 3 CUPS ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES

½ lb. tomatillos, husks removed 2 large poblano peppers ½ medium red onion, sliced

MAKES 1 CUP ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 MINUTES

PREHEAT the broiler. Toss together the tomatillos, poblanos, onion, black pepper, 1 tablespoon of the oil, and ¼ teaspoon of the salt to coat on a rimmed baking sheet. Broil, 5 inches from heat, turning occasionally, until the peppers are blistered and charred in spots, about 8 minutes. Cool completely.

⅔ cup plain whole-milk Greek yogurt ⅓ cup sour cream ¼ cup chopped fresh dill

BRUSH the skins of the poblanos with a paper towel; pulse with the remaining roasted vegetables and ¾ cup of the cilantro in a food processor until coarsely chopped. Stir in the lime juice, the jalapeño, the remaining cilantro, 7 tablespoons oil, and 1¾ teaspoons salt. Serve immediately, or refrigerate in an airtight container up to 3 days.

1½ tsp. white wine vinegar 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice ¾ tsp. kosher salt ½ tsp. black pepper together the yogurt, sour cream, dill, vinegar, lemon juice, salt, and pepper in a bowl. Serve immediately, or refrigerate in an airtight container up to 3 days. STIR

¼ tsp. black pepper

MUSTARDAND-CHIVE VINAIGRETTE

½ cup canola oil, divided 2 tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 large bunch fresh cilantro, chopped, divided ¼ cup fresh lime juice (from about 2 limes) 1 jalapeño pepper, seeds removed, finely chopped

FRESH CHILELIME SAUCE

KILLER COMBO

The secret to any successful sauce is striking a balance among the five basic tastes—sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and umami. This no-cook recipe comes together in just 5 minutes by adding a hint of sweet, sour, and salty to a base of fresh chiles.

MAKES 1 CUP ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 MINUTES

8 red Fresno or red jalapeño chiles, seeded and stems removed 2 garlic cloves, chopped 3 Tbsp. fresh lime juice 2 Tbsp. light brown sugar 1 Tbsp. canola oil ½ tsp. kosher salt PUREE the chiles, garlic, lime juice, brown sugar, oil, and salt in a blender until smooth. Serve immediately, or refrigerate in an airtight container up to 5 days; stir to combine just before serving.

MAKES 1 CUP ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 MINUTES

BROWN-BUTTER CAPER-RAISIN SAUCE

¼ cup Dijon mustard 2 Tbsp. plus 2 tsp. honey

MAKES ½ CUP ACTIVE TIME 10 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

2 Tbsp. white vinegar 1½ tsp. kosher salt

1½ oz. (3 Tbsp.) unsalted butter

⅔ cup canola oil ¼ cup chopped chives

1⅓ cups sherry vinegar

the mustard, honey, vinegar, and salt in a blender until combined. With the blender running, add the oil in a slow, steady stream, processing until smooth. Transfer to a bowl; stir in the chives. Serve immediately, or refrigerate in an airtight container up to 2 days. PULSE

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1 tsp. granulated sugar ½ tsp. kosher salt ⅓ cup golden raisins 3 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil 2 Tbsp. capers ½ cup roughly chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley ¼ tsp. black pepper

STEAK LOVER?

Get six different sauces made specifically for steak at real simple.com/ steaksauce.

REALSIMPLE.COM

Have preserved lemons? Chop and add to this sauce in place of lemon zest and salt.

ALMOND-ARUGULA GREMOLATA MAKES ABOUT 1 CUP ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 5 MINUTES

1 packed cup arugula, roughly chopped ½ cup almonds, toasted and chopped 1½ Tbsp. finely grated lemon zest (from 2 lemons) 1 garlic clove, finely chopped ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil 1½ tsp. lemon juice ¼ tsp. kosher salt ¼ tsp. black pepper TOSS together the arugula, almonds, lemon zest, and garlic in a large bowl. Stir in the olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Serve immediately, or refrigerate in an airtight container up to 2 days.

MELT the butter in a small skillet over medium. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the foam subsides and the butter turns golden brown, about 6 minutes. Pour into a small bowl, discarding the dark brown milk solids at the bottom of the skillet. Wipe the skillet clean. STIR together the vinegar, sugar, and salt in the skillet; cook, stirring constantly, over medium-high until the sugar dissolves, about 2 minutes. Pour the hot vinegar mixture over the raisins. Let stand 10 minutes. Drain, reserving 1 tablespoon of the vinegar mixture. RETURN the brown butter to the skillet; stir in the oil and the reserved vinegar mixture. Cook over mediumhigh, 30 seconds. Remove from the heat and stir in the raisins, capers, parsley, and pepper. Serve warm or at room temperature (best used the day it is made).

ALMONDARUGULA GREMOLATA HOW TO USE IT

Top salmon with a generous helping, or scatter it over flatbread with melted fontina or taleggio for a vegetarian pizza.

KEEP IN MIND Hand-chopping ensures that each ingredient maintains its own texture and taste—a pop of pungent garlic, bright citrus, peppery arugula. The sauce is bold enough to stand up to strong lavors like braised lamb and cheese.

A DV E RT I S E M E N T

MODERNIZE THIS CLASSIC MEAL BY SERVING ON SIMPLE WHITE DISHWARE.

Bring

TUSCANY to Your Table EVERYONE LOVES LASAGNA— it’s delicious and rich with flavor, perfect for almost every occasion. From a hectic family weeknight to a cozy night on the couch, Bertolli® offers a twist on a classic with this no-fail rosa lasagna and simple solutions for everyday dinner dilemmas.

THE FAMILY’S ALL HERE If your picky eaters typically avoid veggies, tuck some spinach between layers to add a healthier spin to the dish.

PARTY OF ONE Enjoy leftovers from a solo dinner by heating up the lasagna with an added layer of Bertolli® Pasta Sauce on top to ensure maximum flavor and texture.

DATE NIGHT

Find the recipe and more at VILLABERTOLLI.COM.

To set the mood and enjoy some additional quality time, start making a showstopping dessert together while your main course is in the oven.

LUSCIOUS ROSA LASAGNA Serves: 8 INGREDIENTS 2 containers (15 oz. each) ricotta cheese 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese ½ cup Parmesan cheese, divided 2 eggs 1 jar Bertolli® Five Cheese Sauce 1 jar Bertolli® Alfredo Sauce 12 uncooked lasagna noodles PREPARATION Preheat the oven to 375°. Combine ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, ¼ cup Parmesan cheese, and eggs in a large bowl, set aside. Combine sauces in a medium bowl. Spread one cup of the sauce mixture into a 13x9-inch baking dish. Layer four uncooked lasagna noodles, then one cup of the sauce mixture and ½of the ricotta mixture, and repeat. Top with the remaining four noodles, then the sauce mixture and the remaining ¼ cup of Parmesan cheese. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for one hour. Remove the foil and bake for 10 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

VIVA Bertolli Olive Oil and Garlic. Turn simple spaghetti dishes into Tuscan-inspired cuisine. Our sauce blends vine-ripened tomatoes, savory garlic and extra virgin olive oil into a one-of-a-kind Italian taste. For inspiration and recipes, like us on Facebook or visit VivaBertolli.com

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MANGO BASIL CHICKEN & BROWN RICE SALAD

READY IN 10 MINUTES Farm-to-market freshness. With Minute® Rice, your meals can be wholesome, balanced and light. Add a variety of seasonal veggies and fruits to your favorite rice recipes for a fresh take. For all the ways to keep your family loving every bite, give them the flavors of spring with suggestions from minuterice.com. We can help®.

Quick Cooking 182 Healthy Pick 189, 194, 196 Freezable 190, 202 Make Ahead 182, 190, 202 Big Batch 190, 202 One Pot 182 Vegetarian 182, 190, 202 Gluten-Free 182, 189, 192, A HAPPY MEDIUM

194, 196

When it comes to taste and tenderness, spring onions fall between scallions and regular onions. Use them as a substitute for either while they’re in season.

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY H E AT H E R C H A D D U C K- H I L L E G A S

A S PA R A- G U I D E

Thin, tender spears—widely available in spring—are ideal for a quick sauté, like Asparagus Hash (page 196).

THE RIGHT WR AP

Store Parmesan in wax paper rather than plastic wrap. (Because plastic is less porous, it can promote the growth of mold.) Photographs by Jen Causey Food Styling by Chelsea Zimmer

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REAL MEAT. REAL CHEESE. REAL ENERGY.

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E A SY D I N N E R

1 Steak with potato-radish salad ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free

SERVES 4

1 lb. small Yukon gold potatoes, cut in half crosswise 1½ tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 (8-oz.) pkg. sugar snap peas ¾ cup torn fresh mint ½ cup sour cream Zest and juice of 1 lime FO OD

¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided 1½ tsp. black pepper, divided 4 small radishes, thinly sliced (about ½ cup) 1½ lbs. trimmed hanger steak PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Boil the potatoes in salted water until fork-tender, 15 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. BRING the cooking liquid back to a boil. Add the sugar snap peas and cook, 3 minutes. Drain and rinse. Cut in half and reserve. STIR together the mint, sour cream, lime zest, lime juice, 2 tablespoons of the olive oil, 1 teaspoon of the salt, ½ teaspoon of the pepper, and 1 tablespoon water in a medium bowl. Toss together with the potatoes, radishes, and sugar snap peas, stirring to coat. HEAT the remaining olive oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high. Sprinkle the remaining salt and pepper over the steak. Cook until an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the steak registers 130° F, 4 minutes per side for medium-rare. Let rest 5 minutes, then slice against the grain. Serve with the potato-radish salad.

Recipes by

Robby Melvin

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free

E A SY D I N N E R

2 Leek, mushroom, and pea potpie ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 20 MINUTES

SERVES 6

1 oz. (2 Tbsp.) salted butter 4 leeks, light green parts only, thinly sliced 3 carrots, peeled and cut into ½-in.-thick slices 14 oz. shiitake mushrooms, stems removed, quartered ½ cup dry white wine ⅓ cup all-purpose flour FO OD

3 cups plus 1 Tbsp. whole milk, divided 1 cup frozen peas 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh tarragon 2 tsp. kosher salt ¼ tsp. black pepper ½ (17.3-oz.) pkg. frozen puff-pastry sheets, thawed PREHEAT

oven to 400°F.

the butter in a large pot over medium. Add the leeks and cook, stirring, 5 minutes. Add the carrots and mushrooms and cook, 5 minutes. Add the wine and cook, 2 minutes. Sprinkle with the lour; cook, stirring constantly, 3 minutes. Gradually whisk in 3 cups of the milk and simmer, whisking constantly, until thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the peas, tarragon, salt, and pepper. Spoon the mixture into an 8-inch square baking dish. MELT

PLACE the puf-pastry sheet over the illing, pressing the edges to seal. Brush with the remaining milk; cut slits into the top to release steam. BAKE until the pastry is golden brown and the illing is bubbly, 30 to 35 minutes. Let stand for 15 minutes before serving.

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Turn your kitchen into the family snack bar with light, flaky, buttery Club® Snack Crackers. For satisfied customers, every time.

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free

E A SY D I N N E R

3 Chard-stuffed pork chops with green beans ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 45 MINUTES

SERVES 4

¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided 1 medium bunch Swiss chard, stems and leaves chopped 2 garlic cloves, chopped 2 tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 tsp. black pepper, divided 1 tsp. lemon zest 4 (6- to 8-oz.) bone-in, thick-cut pork chops FO OD

4 slices Provolone cheese 1 Tbsp. salted butter 1 small shallot, finely chopped 8 oz. small green beans PREHEAT

oven to 400°F.

2 tablespoons of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add the chard leaves and cook until tender, 5 minutes. Add the garlic, 1 teaspoon of the salt, and ½ teaspoon of the pepper. Cook, stirring, until the garlic is lightly browned, 1 minute. Stir in the lemon zest. HEAT

CUT a slit 2 inches long and 3 inches deep into the curved side of each chop. Stuf the cheese and chard mixture into the pockets, dividing evenly. Season the chops with the remaining salt and pepper. HEAT the remaining oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high. Cook the chops in batches until golden brown, 3 to 4 minutes per side. Return the chops to the pan; transfer to oven and cook until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the thickest chop registers 145°F, 6 to 8 minutes. Let rest 5 minutes. MEANWHILE, heat the butter in a large skillet over medium-high. Add the shallot, green beans, and chard stems and cook, stirring, until crisp-tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Serve with the chops.

NUTRITION

Get details on fat, calories, and sodium at the bottom of each recipe on realsimple.com.

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With 8 GRAMS of P LANT- P OWERED P ROTEIN

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free

E A SY D I N N E R

4 Parmesan-crusted chicken with mushroom-arugula salad ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 40 MINUTES

SERVES 4

1 cup uncooked wild rice blend 16 oz. button mushrooms, thinly sliced ½ cup flat-leaf parsley leaves 2 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice 2¼ tsp. kosher salt, divided FO OD

¾ tsp. black pepper, divided 2 Tbsp. mayonnaise ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese (about 2 oz.) 4 (6- to 7-oz.) boneless, skinless chicken breasts 2 cups packed arugula leaves COOK the rice according to the package directions. PREHEAT oven to 450°F. Place a wire rack on a rimmed baking sheet. TOSS together the mushrooms, parsley, oil, lemon juice, 1 teaspoon of the salt, and ¼ teaspoon of the pepper in a medium bowl. Set aside, stirring occasionally, 20 minutes. MEANWHILE, stir together the mayonnaise, Parmesan, and the remaining salt and pepper in a small bowl. Spread evenly on top of the chicken breasts. Place the chicken in a single layer on the prepared rack. BAKE 12 minutes. Turn the oven to broil and continue cooking until the chicken is cooked through and golden brown, 5 minutes. Toss together the arugula and mushroom mixture and serve with the chicken and rice.

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T-SHIRT QUILTS

Smoked Sausage and Orzo Stuffed Peppers Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25 minutes Makes: 6 servings

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free

E A SY D I N N E R

5 Cod with asparagus hash and horseradish sauce ACTIVE TIME 40 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 40 MINUTES

SERVES 4

1 russet potato, cut into ¾-in. pieces

INGREDIENTS 1 TBSP. olive oil 1 PKG. Hillshire Farm® Smoked Sausage, cut into 1/4 inch wide, half moons 1 medium onion, 1/2 inch diced 1 CLOVE garlic, minced 1 TBSP. Italian seasoning 1 TBSP. white wine vinegar 2 CUPS orzo pasta, cookED according to package directions 1/2 TSP. each salt and pepper 1/2 CUP shredded mozzarella cheese 1 3/4 CUPS marinara sauce 1/4 TSP. cinnamon 6 bell peppers

½ tsp. kosher salt, divided ½ cup mayonnaise 3 Tbsp. horseradish 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice, divided ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided ½ tsp. black pepper, divided 3 spring onion bulbs, whites quartered and greens thinly sliced 1 bunch asparagus, cut into 2-in. pieces 4 (6-oz.) pieces boneless, skinless cod fillets

PREPARATION 1. PreHeat Oven to 400°F.

2 Tbsp. roughly chopped dill

2. Heat oil in skillet over medium heat. add smoked sausage, onion, garlic and seasoning. Cook 6-9 minutes until onions are soft and smoked sausage is brown. Stir in vinegar, cooked orzo, salt, pepper and 1/4 cup OF mozzarella. Remove from heat, set aside.

COOK the potato in salted walter until fork-tender, 8 minutes. Drain. MEANWHILE, stir together the mayonnaise, horseradish, and 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice in a small bowl. HEAT 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add the potato, ¼ teaspoon salt, and ¼ teaspoon pepper; cook, turning occasionally, until brown and crisp, about 10 minutes. Add the onion whites and asparagus and cook, stirring, until the vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes. Transfer to a plate.

3. Mix marinara sauce and cinnamon, stir 1/4 cup of the sauce into the skillet. Spoon remaining sauce into 9x9 inch baking dish. 4. Cut the pepper tops off and remove seeds. Stuff them with the orzo-smoked sausage mixture; place in baking dish. Sprinkle WITH REMAINING mozzarella CHEESE; bake 25 minutes. ;@:65 -66+: 05*

HEAT the remaining oil in the skillet over medium-high. Sprinkle the ish with the remaining salt and pepper. Cook, in batches, until opaque throughout, 2 to 3 minutes per side. Serve, sprinkled with the remaining lemon juice, the dill, and onion greens, with the asparagus hash and horseradish sauce on the side.

Discover more delicious weeknight meals at hillshirefarm.com/recipes APRIL 2016

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Hillshire Farm® smoked sausage is seasoned perfectly. So it’s easy for you to create dinner deliciously.

Easy Smoked Sausage Skillet Serving Size: 4-6

Total Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients :

Instructions :

1 pkg. Hillshire Farm® smoked sausage, diagonally sliced thin 2 cloves garlic, crushed ¼ cup olive oil 1 large red bell pepper, sliced thin 1 small yellow onion, sliced thin 1 pkg. frozen broccoli, thawed ½ cup chicken broth (or water) ½ cup tomato sauce 2 cups instant rice ½ cup shredded Mozzarella cheese

Heat olive oil and garlic in skillet, stir in smoked sausage slices and cook until browned. Add pepper, onion, broccoli, broth and tomato sauce and simmer for 10 minutes until the vegetables are tender and the liquid is absorbed. In the meantime, prepare rice according to package instructions. Stir rice into the skillet, sprinkle with cheese and serve.

Visit HillshireFarm.com/recipes for delicious recipes perfect for any night of the week.

A DV E RT I S E M E N T

KICK IT UP

IN THE KITCHEN Don’t conﬁne spring cleaning to the closet this year. Give some love to your home’s most lived-in room—the kitchen! Elevate the entire kitchen experience with delightful dishes, décor to die for, and top-secret tips to entertaining guests with ease.

Tuna and Black Bean Burrito Bowl with Cilantro-Lime Dressing Serves: 4

DÉCOR

DINING

DIET

Your kitchen décor sets the tone for your day, so keep it calm and soothing as you sip your morning cup. Crat a corner that’s all your own— decorate with dual-purpose plants like sage and rosemary, art that inspires you, and a collection of cookbooks. Enjoy a meditative moment in your new favorite room.

When entertaining, keep your beverage options curated and seasonal. Make a few simple syrups in unique ﬂavors like hibiscus, mint, or cinnamon to pair with your guests’ favorite spirits or spritzers. Pick up a few eye-catching decanters for a stylish aesthetic all your own.

Create meals that are fresh and clean, while highlighting classic elements that are the ﬁnest out there. Try this tuna and black bean burrito bowl, full of superfoods like kale and quinoa, and dressed in a creamy avocado cilantro-lime dressing. Bumble Bee® Solid White Albacore Tuna brings this dish from pretty delish to the best.

INGREDIENTS 1 can (5 oz.) Bumble Bee® Solid White Albacore Tuna, drained and chunked 1 cup cooked quinoa 1/2 tsp cumin 1 cup black beans, drained and warmed 1/2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 cups kale, destemmed and roughly chopped 2 cups portobello mushrooms, roughly chopped 1/2 tsp red pepper ﬂakes (or more to taste) CILANTRO-LIME DRESSING INGREDIENTS 1/2 cup loosely packed fresh cilantro 1 clove garlic, raw 1 small cucumber 3 limes (juice of two, one for garnish) 1 tbsp sugar 2 tomatillos, de-papered 1/4 cup white vinegar 1/2 ripe avocado Dash of salt PREPARATION Toss quinoa with cumin and black beans in the bottom of four bowls. Heat oil in a sauté pan over medium high. Add garlic, kale, mushrooms, and red pepper ﬂakes, stirring to cook until wilted and sot, for 7–8 minutes. Scoop a portion into each bowl on top of black beans. Add tuna on top of the kale mixture. In a blender or food processor, combine dressing ingredients (except for one lime) and purée until smooth. Pour mixture over each bowl evenly. Cut the remaining lime into wedges to garnish.

K I TC H E N S K I L L S

Things Cooks Know Simplifying strategies, techniques, and tips— from the Real Simple test kitchen to yours H O W TO KNEAD D OUGH

TA ST I E R TO F U : I T’ S P O SS I B L E With the proper prep, that bland, wiggly bean curd can become a meal you’ll actually crave: full of flavor, with a melt-in-your-mouth center and a crackling crust.

FO OD

BUY THE RIGHT VARIETY.

Opt for extra-irm tofu, which won’t disintegrate during pan-searing. And thanks to its low moisture content, you can skip the process of pressing it, which some recipes call for.

ST E P 1

Folding and smushing dough develops the gluten, which gives baked goods (like Hot Cross Buns, page 202) their chewy texture. You can use a stand mixer to knead, but it’s also an easy DIY (and triceps workout!). Follow these steps.

ST E P 2

1. Sprinkle a clean work surface with flour. Form the dough into a disk, then use the heels of your hands to push down in the middle and stretch the dough away from you.

CUT BIG, MEATY PIECES.

Thin strips can turn tough during cooking. Try slicing your tofu into half-inch slabs. PAT DRY ON ALL SIDES.

as you would do to meat before searing. If you’ve marinated, dry it thoroughly. Moisture inhibits crisping and browning. TURN UP THE HEAT.

Before adding the tofu, heat the oil in a pan on medium-high until it shimmers. A quick sear— about 3 minutes a side— will create a golden exterior while preserving the tender, silky interior.

2. Fold the far end

over itself, toward you, forming a half circle, and press down firmly.

ST E P 3

HAVE SOME TOFU-N

Go to realsimple.com/ tofurecipes for easy, delicious tofu dishes.

3. Rotate the dough counterclockwise by a quarter turn. Repeat the stretching, folding, and turning, dusting with flour if the dough sticks. 4. Once the dough is

ST E P 4

Stuffing, on a smaller scale PORK AND BEANS Try your stuffing skills on ChardStuffed Pork Chops with Green Beans (page 192).

Lean cuts of meat, like pork chops, chicken breasts, and lank steak, can beneit from extra fat and lavor while they cook. One of the best ways to get it? Stufing. No, not the Thanksgiving turkey kind. This method is much easier—picture a little aromatic capsule tucked inside the meat, keeping it juicy. Start by making a horizontal slit along the side of the meat, about 2 inches long and deep. (Use the tip of a chef’s knife to do this.) Fill the pocket with onions, herbs, and—this is key—fat, like a slice of cheese or bacon. Don’t overstuf, or it can all fall out; 2 tablespoons should be enough. Then pan-sear, grill, or roast in the oven.

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smooth (no visible lumps) and elastic (it doesn’t break when you stretch it thin)— after about 10 minutes of kneading—poke it with your finger. The indentation should fill in quickly. It’s hard to overknead, so if you’re unsure, give the dough a few more turns. Written by

Heath Goldman Illustrations by

Melinda Josie

Baked Into One Family Pizza Night NOW AMERICA’S #1 RICOTTA & MOZZARELLA Visit us at galbanicheese.com

B E T T E R B R E A K FA ST

Hot cross buns ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS

SERVES 12

Remember learning to play “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder? These traditional Easterseason rolls are almost as elementary, thanks to a store-bought yeast-dough mix.

3½ cups yeasted Pillsbury Hot Roll Mix (from 1 16-oz. pkg.) ½ cup golden raisins ¼ cup granulated sugar ½ tsp. kosher salt ½ tsp. ground cinnamon ¼ tsp. ground nutmeg 2 Tbsp. salted butter, softened 1 large egg, lightly beaten 1 cup hot water (120°F to 130°F) All-purpose flour, for dusting

FO OD

1 large egg white, lightly beaten 1 cup powdered sugar 1½ Tbsp. whole milk PREHEAT oven to 375°F. Stir together the roll mix, raisins, granulated sugar, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and yeast (included with the mix) in a large bowl. Add the butter, lightly beaten egg, and hot water and stir until a soft dough forms.

DIVIDE the dough into 12 equal portions and shape each into a 2-inch ball. Place the balls in a single layer in a lightly greased 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place (80°F to 85°F) until doubled in bulk, about 45 minutes. Uncover and brush with the beaten egg white.

CAMERA READY

BAKE until the buns are golden brown and sound hollow when tapped, 16 to 18 minutes. Cool in the pan on a wire rack, 15 minutes.

Go to real simple.com/ breakfast for 11 delicious, Instagramworthy breakfasts.

Recipe by Robby Melvin Photograph by Jen Causey Food Styling by Chelsea Zimmer

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MEANWHILE, stir together the powdered sugar and milk until smooth. Spoon into a plastic freezer bag. Snip one corner to make a hole about ¼ inch in diameter. Pipe an X onto each bun. Serve warm.

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY H E AT H E R C H A D D U C K- H I L L E G A S

TURN the dough out on a lightly loured surface and knead until smooth, about 5 minutes, sprinkling additional lour over the dough as needed. Cover the dough with a bowl and let rest, 5 minutes.

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Pr o t e c

S I M P LY S H O P P I N G

NICOLE BREWER GURGANIOUS, 45 • Group fitness instructor and wardrobe stylist • Widowed, with a daughter, Giselle, 3 • Brooklyn, New York

W H E N T H I S W O M A N L O S T H E R H U S B A N D, T W O Y E A R S A G O, E V E RY T H I N G C H A N G E D. B U T W I T H T W O J O B S A N D A D AU G H T E R T O R A I S E , S H E I S F I N D I N G H E R WAY, D AY BY D AY.

JUST DO IT

“Many who train with me know about my journey— my husband and I were on The Biggest Loser in 2009—and trust that I can encourage them.”

7:40 A.M. “To get my daughter, Giselle, ready for day care, I

10:05 A.M. “I teach eight spinning and strength-training classes

set three alarms using songs from The Little Mermaid, Frozen, and The Wiz, signaling wake-up, hairstyle, and coat time.”

weekly. I love being a fitness instructor because taking classes is how I lost weight. Exercising with a group is so inspiring.”

11:50 A.M. “As much as I enjoy teaching, that hour is not my

1:20 P.M. “It’s amazing what a few shots of espresso can do—I

workout—it’s for the members. I need my own time. I believe exercise is the most important self-care tool I have right now.”

don’t dare try to keep up with my schedule without it. I’ll use this break to stay on top of the new fashion and health trends.”

2:30 P.M. “Next, I have a wardrobe consultation with my client Christina Mensah. I’m passionate about helping women find flattering clothes, especially after pregnancy or weight loss.”

5:00 P.M. “When Giselle gets home, I like to make sure she

HOW NICOLE STAYS POSITIVE No. 1

“I gave up hiding my tears. Some tears are about beautiful memories.” No. 2

“I make time for friends. They, along with some wonderful people from support groups, have shown me that happiness is possible.” No. 3

“My daughter and I include her dad in every day. Giselle greets his photos in the morning and tells him about her day after she says her prayers at night.”

takes a nap. Then she chooses an activity before dinner. Today we went to the library, but sometimes we’ll do workbooks.”

Photographs by Emily Kinni

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BODY OF WORK

“I can’t book too many classes or clients, because at the moment my biggest job is taking care of Giselle.”

MY STARBUCKS IS

OUR PLACE OR YOURS The same craft and care go into every cup. Find it where you buy groceries, and discover more at Starbucks.com/athome.

© 2016 Starbucks Coffee Company. All rights reserved. Pike Place is a registered trademark of The Pike Place Market PDA, used under license. Keurig, K-Cup, Keurig 2.0, the K logo, and the Keurig brewer trade dress are trademarks of Keurig Green Mountain, Inc., used with permission.