OUR GIFT TO YOU

ButI’mgettingaheadof myself.Back to Christmas Eve.After ourdinnerfor12 (Ethanmadeporkraguintheslow cooker, andIpassed the desserttorch on to ourolder daughter,whose chocolate chipcookiesare our family’s besthope forfuturewealth),thekids headedupstairs, archlyrequestingadecent night’ssleep.EthanandI tookour timewrapping a couple of smallgifts,then curled up and watchedamovie together, stillmakingittobed beforemidnight.

Iwokeup nervousthatthekidswould feel cheated bythefactthat therewassolittleunder thetree.Turned out,whenwecamedownstairs, thecats—asifaccessoriestoour Christmas plan— hadcreatedadistraction byshreddingthewrapping paper offmost of the gifts.Thekids didn’t evenseemto noticethat their haulwas significantly smallerthanusualandthatitconsisted mostlyof basics,like mittens, socks,andbooks.

When therewerenomore boxestoopen,my husband handeda slipofpaperto thekids. Itwas a rhyming clue—the first of eight leading to our big reveal.Thehunt took us,asafamily, throughthe house,fromattictobasement, cluetoclue,and finally broughtustothedriveway. Openingthe door to ourminivan,the kidsfoundasmallwhite box buckledinto themiddleseat.Insidewasa scrapbook revealing,inphotos andwords, thetrip thatwewouldembarkonthenextday.

Ouryoungest,once she realizedwhatwas happening,saidwith utter delight,“It’s likethose commercialswherethey get asurprise tripto DisneyWorld,butbetter!”And ourtwoolderkids werejust as excited,eventhoughthey’reinthe throesofadolescence, azonenaturallypillared by resentmentandboredom.

Next,wegaveeach kidacertificate forhisor herown“experience gift”: aculinarytourof Charlestonfor Louisa; aSavannahghost tourvia hearse(!)forSimon;andahorsebackridethrough a naturepreserveonHiltonHead for animalloverFrankie.Ialsosurprisedmyhusbandwith a reservationfor zip-lining,which quicklybecame themosthotlyanticipated event of theweek.

Wepacked Christmas Day,went tomymom’shousefor Christmas dinner, thencamehomeandargued aboutwhether weshouldundecoratethetreeanddrag it tothecurb beforewe headed outoftown.My husbandworriedaboutthefire hazardof leavingadrytree in an empty house;Iworried the naked tree wouldbeaninvitationtoburglars. Lazinessprevailed!

W

e leftthenext morning atdawn.Thedrive to Charlestonshouldhave taken 12 hours.Withtraffic, ittook us19,whichincludedsixmovies, onelengthy audiobook (Allthe LightWe Cannot See), lunchata Paneranear Quantico, anddinnerat PrimeSmokehouse,in Rocky Mount,NorthCarolina.Thiswasa barbecue jointwefoundonYelp, anditprovidedour favoritemeal of theentiretrip. (Whenthewaitress broughtover an unsolicitedrefillof sweet tea,our14-year-oldsaid, “It’s weird howpeople herearesonice.”)

Fromthere,our adventure unfolded as all familyvacationsdo— oratleast all my familyvacations: equal parts“Why aremykidsso annoying?”and “Itrulyadorethese people.” Somedays Ifelt likethe momin National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (frazzled, longsuffering);others,like CarolBrady (amiable, relaxedtothepointof seemingmedicated).

A fewhighlights: strollingalong theBatteryinCharleston,thenvisiting the Calhoun Mansion, a museum inthelargestprivatehomeinthe city.Hearing Gullahspokenfor the first timeand gorgingonfried chicken atLeon’sFine Poultry& OysterShop, aformer auto-body joint that still hasitsoriginal garage doors.OnHilton Head,wewent night swimming,rode bikeson the beach,and ate“oooey-gooey”sandwichesatatucked-awaytreasure calledthe LowcountryProduceMarket& Café. (Forthe uninitiated:This delicacyconsistsofgrilled pimiento cheese, bacon,and garlic pepper jellyonplainoldwhite bread.)In Savannah,wewaitedonanhourlong lineforLeopold’sfamous ice creamandweresorichlyrewarded that weconsideredwaitinganother hour forseconds.Wevisited Malaprop’s Bookstore/Cafe,inAsheville (avast,cozymeccafor bookworms), strolled throughthe galleries in the RiverArts District, andcapped off thefirst dayof2016withacandlelit touroftheBiltmoreEstate, the Vanderbilts’countrycottage,which has250 rooms and43bathrooms. (You know,ascountry cottages do.) InWashington,D.C.,werested our feet onourfriends’coffeetableand regaled themwith traveltales.Then thekids jumpedonthetrampoline whiletheadults drankwine.

Personally, Ihatehearingabout otherpeople’sidyllicvacations (the only thingworse islistening to someone else’sdream), so letme assureyou:We had plentyof tense moments.Ourkids pinchedone another andfeuded inthe backseat. MyhusbandandI gotintoa heated argumentintheparkinglotatSouth oftheBorder—theworld’smost overrated megamall/pit stop.(If there’s acouplewho hasn’t gotten into a heatedargumentin theparkinglot at South oftheBorder, I wouldlike tomeetthem!)The ghost tourbackfired:Afterward,certain membersof ourfamilyneeded to sleepwith the lightson,and other membersofourfamilywerenotas sympatheticastheycouldhave been.Asfor the much anticipated

Sunset on Hilton Head. The 10-day trip included beach, city, and country, plusa cozy overnight at the home of friends.

zip-lineadventure?We showed up onthewrongday,and the course wasclosed.Butoverallthiswasthe happiest,mostrelaxingvacation we’ve evertakentogether.It’s also thefirstonewhereour kidsslept late,so my husbandandIwereable tosqueeze in breakfastand awalk beforetheywokeup—theChristmas miracle I’dbeenwaitingfor.

Lookingback on all ourfamily Christmases,eventhemost frenetic,I find thereisone momentthat neverlosesitsluster: when all fiveofuslineupatthetop ofthestairsonChristmasmorning, thenparade downtotheliving roomtobeginourcelebration.Whatgetsme everytimeisthe togetherness—allof us inour pajamas, treetwinkling, coffee percolating, Bing Crosby filling thepeaceful silence.No matter whathappens next,whetherwe’re untwirling thosemaddeningtwisttiesthatholdtoysin boxes or bickeringaboutwhether it’s rude to ask theneighborsfor a cup of sugaronChristmas, this is themomentI rememberonmy first day backatwork afterthe holidays, or thefollowing October,when I’minthe grocery storeand I hear theseason’sinauguralrendition of“Grandma Got RunOverby aReindeer.”

Onour road trip,thatmoment showedup,ina somewhat differentform:We hadjustfinished our first dayinCharleston,and thefiveofuswere crammed into a too-small hotel room, resting beforedinner.Onedaughterflipped through aleatherbinderadvertisinglocalattractions,pretendingto beaconcierge.Theotherdaughter lay floppedon acot,readinga book. OursontossedaNerffootball atthe popcornceiling.My husband squintedat hisphone, ordering theticketsforthe next day’sevent. Therewasn’tanything magical aboutthe scene—noringingbells or crackling fireorwafting perfume ofDouglasfir—but thefeelingwas thesame: thejoy ofbeingallinone place at onetime,witheverything tolookforward to.

NOT EXACTLY COOKIE CUTTER

THESE MAYLOOKLIKETRADITIONALHOLIDAYTREATS, BUTWE’VE TWEAKEDTHE RECIPESTO BE FASTER, EASIER,ANDA DASH MORESPECIAL.

Recipes by Deb Wise Photographs by Romulo Yanes FoodStylingby Torie Cox PropStylingby Claire Spollen

MATCHA MEXICAN WEDDING COOKIES

CHERRY AND PISTACHIO BAKE-ONCE BISCOTTI

MATCHA MEXICAN WEDDING COOKIES

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR,

40 MINUTES

MAKES 36COOKIES

1½cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature ½tsp. vanilla extract 1¾cupspowdered sugar, divided 3cups all-purpose flour ¼tsp.salt 2¼cupsfinely chopped roasted salted almonds 2Tbsp.matcha (green tea powder, available in the international aisle)

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Beat the butter, vanilla, and ¾ cup of the powdered sugar with an electric mixer on medium until

Tossing powdered sugar with matcha gives these cookies a festive color. Jazz them up with orange zest or toasted coconut, too.

light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Gradually add the flour and salt; beat on low until just combined. Add the nuts and beat on low until just combined, about 1 minute. SHAPE the dough into 36 balls (about 2 tablespoons per ball) and place on the baking sheets. BAKE until firm and lightly brown, 16 to 18 minutes. COOL on the baking sheets 5 minutes. Whisk together the matcha and the remaining 1 cup of powdered sugar in a large bowl. Gently roll the warm cookies in the matcha mixture. Cool on wire racks completely, about 20 minutes. Roll the cookies 1 or 2 more times in the sugar mixture to coat completely.

ICE QUEEN For our easy three-ingredient royal icing recipe, go to realsimple.com/royalicing.

CHERRY AND PISTACHIO BAKE-ONCE BISCOTTI

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS, 15MINUTES MAKES 36COOKIES

1½cups granulated sugar 8large egg yolks plus 4 large eggs ½tsp.salt 4½cupsall-purposeflour 1tsp. baking powder 2cups dried tart cherries 2cups roasted salted pistachios 1Tbsp. water

BEAT the sugar, egg yolks, 3 whole eggs, and salt with an electric stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment on medium-high until pale yellow and thick, about 5 minutes. Switch to the paddle attachment and, with the mixer on low, gradually add the flour and baking powder, beating until well combined, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the cherries and pistachios and beat until just combined. Divide the dough in half and wrap the halves with plastic wrap. Chill 1 hour. PREHEAT oven to 325°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Shape the dough into two 12-by-5-inch logs and place on the baking sheets. Whisk together the water and the remaining egg; brush the mixture on the logs. BAKE until golden brown, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool on the baking sheets 10 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board and cut each loaf into ½-inch slices. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

Unlike most biscotti, which are baked twice (once before slicing and once after), this version goes in the oven only once and takes a fraction of the time. Cream cheese and mascarpone bind these ultrafast cookies, which you can make ahead and store in the refrigerator for 2 weeks.

NO-BAKE CHOCOLATEPEPPERMINT COOKIES

ACTIVE TIME 15MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS,

15MINUTES

MAKES 40 COOKIES

29-oz. pkgs. chocolate wafer cookies 8oz. cream cheese, softened ¼cup powdered sugar ¼cupmascarpone cheese

Pinch of salt

Unsweetened cocoa powder, for work surface 2cups crushed hard peppermint candies

PROCESS the cookies in a food processor until finely ground, about 1 minute. Add the cream cheese, powdered sugar, mascarpone, and salt. Process until the dough forms a ball, 20 to 30 seconds. DUST the work surface with the cocoa. Divide the dough in half and shape each half into a 10-inch log. Wrap with plastic wrap and chill until firm, at least 2 hours or overnight. TRANSFER thecrushed candies to a piece of parchment paper. Roll each log in the candy until covered. Cut the logs into ½-inch slices and serve.

NO-BAKE CHOCOLATEPEPPERMINT COOKIES

CHOCOLATE, RASPBERRY, AND ALMOND RUGELACH

DO-IT-ALL SUGAR COOKIES

CHOCOLATE, RASPBERRY, AND ALMOND RUGELACH

ACTIVE TIME 1 HOUR TOTAL TIME 3 HOURS, 30MINUTES MAKES 36COOKIES

1cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened 6oz. cream cheese, softened ¼tsp.salt ¼cup granulated sugar, divided 2¼ cupsall-purposeflour,plus more for work surface 1cup seedless raspberry jam ⅓cup roasted salted almonds ⅓cup semisweet chocolate chips 1 largeegg 1tsp.water

You don’t have to choose between fruit and chocolate. We combined all the greatest hits—fruit, nuts, and chocolate— for the most satisfying filled cookies around.

DO-IT-ALL SUGAR COOKIES

ACTIVE TIME 40 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 3 HOURS, 15

MINUTES

MAKES 36TO 40 COOKIES

BEAT the butter, cream cheese, salt, and 2 tablespoons of the sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium until smooth, about 2 minutes. Reduce speed to low and gradually add the flour. Beat until the dough is smooth, about 2 minutes. Divide the dough into 3 portions and shape each into a disk. Wrap each disk with plastic wrap and chill 1 hour. MEANWHILE, bring the jam to a gentle boil in a medium saucepan. Cook over medium, stirring often, until the mixture reduces by half, 8 to 10 minutes. Cool completely, about 30 minutes. PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Pulse the almonds and the remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar in a food processor until coarsely chopped, 5 or 6 times. Add the chocolate chips and process until the mixture is finely ground, about 30 seconds. ROLL 1 disk of the dough into a 13-inch circle on a lightly floured surface. Spread ¼ cup of the jam over the dough, leaving a ½-inch border around the edge. Sprinkle ¼ cup of the almond mixture over the jam. Using a sharp knife or pizza cutter, cut the circle into 12 wedges, like a pizza. Starting at the wide end, roll up the triangles and transfer, seam-side down, to the baking sheets. Whisk together the egg and water in a small bowl. Lightly brush the cookies with the egg wash. Repeat with the remaining disks of dough. BAKE, rotating the sheets halfway through, until browned and crisp, 22 to 25 minutes. Cool on baking sheets 5 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool completely. 3cupsall-purpose flour, plus more for work surface 3Tbsp.cornstarch 1tsp. baking powder ½tsp.salt 1cup granulated sugar ¾cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened ¼cup canola oil 1Tbsp. vanilla extract 2tsp. lemon zest (from 1 lemon) 1largeegg 1large egg yolk

WHISK together the flour, cornstarch,baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. BEAT the sugar and butter with an electric mixer on medium until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the oil in a slow stream and beat on medium-low until well combined, about 1 minute. Add the vanilla and lemon zest and beat until combined. Add the egg and egg yolk, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually add the flour mixture; beat on low until evenly combined, about 2 minutes. (The dough will be sticky.) Turn the dough out onto a floured surface. Using floured hands, divide the dough in half and shape each half into a disk. Wrap each half with plastic wrap and chill until firm, 2 hours.

Canola oil makes this dough smooth, silky, and extra easy to maneuver (no crumbly or sticky bits).

CUT-OUT COOKIES

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Working with 1 disk at a time, on a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough ¼ inch thick. Cut with cookie cutters; transfer to the baking sheets. Bake until firm when lightly touched, 8 to 10 minutes.

DROP COOKIES

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line3baking sheets with parchmentpaper.Shape the dough into 40 balls (about2teaspoonsperball); toss in granulated sugar. Transfertothebaking sheets and bake untillightly brown around the edges,12 to 14 minutes.

THUMBPRINT COOKIES

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Shape the dough into 40 balls (about 2 teaspoons per ball); toss in granulated sugar. Transfer to the baking sheets. Gently press in the centers with your thumb. Fill the centers with ¼ teaspoon preserves or jam. Bake until lightly brown around the edges, 12 to 14 minutes.

SLICE-AND-BAKE COOKIES

Before chilling, shape each half of the dough into a 10-inch log. Wrap with plastic wrap and chill until firm, 2 hours. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. If desired, roll the logs in decorative sugar. Cut the logs into ½-inch slices. Transfer to the baking sheets and bake until firm when lightly touched, 8 to 10 minutes.

It’s easy to overwork gingerbread dough and endup with cardboardlike results. Afood processor makes mixing quick, so the cookies are tender yet sturdy enough for decorating.

FOOD PROCESSOR GINGERBREAD MEN

ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS MAKES 36COOKIES

¾cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened 1cup packed dark brown sugar 4tsp. ground ginger 1½tsp. ground cinnamon ½tsp.salt ⅓cupmolasses 1largeegg 2⅔cupsall-purpose flour, plus more for work surface ⅓cupcornstarch

Royalicing, for decorating

PROCESS the butter, brown sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and salt in afoodprocessor untillight and fluffy, about 1 minute, stopping to scrape the sides of the bowlasnecessary. Add themolasses and egg; processuntilwell incorporated, 10 to 15 seconds. Sprinkle the flour and cornstarch over the top and pulse until just combined, 10 to 12 times. DIVIDE the dough in half and shape into 2 disks. Wrap each with plastic wrap and chill at least 1 hour or overnight. PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Working with 1 disk at a time, on a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough ¼ inch thick. Cut out shapes with cookie cutters ; transfer the cookies to the baking sheets. Bake, rotating the sheets halfway through, until dry to the touch, 10 to 12 minutes. Cool on the baking sheets 5 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Decorate with the icing as desired.

FOOD PROCESSOR GINGERBREAD MEN