RS - March 2019 by Lawrence Ambrocio

TRICKS THAT IMPROVE MEMORY

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*Based in part on data reported by Nielsen through its Scantrack Service for the Concealer category for the 52-week period ending October 27, 2018, for the US xAOC market according to Maybelline’s custom product hierarchy. © 2018, The Nielsen Company.

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Thoughts

“Have nothing in your houses which you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

STO C K SY

— W I L L I A M M O R R I S , H o p e s a n d Fe a r s fo r A r t

4 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photograph by Darren Muir

E d i t o r ’s N o t e

of a love-hate relationship with shopping. I relish the adventure of the hunt: I still remember my dad combing the classifieds over Saturday breakfasts for promising garage sales. Then off we’d go, searching for castoffs that would become our treasures. Afterward, my dad would tally the results: “This jacket? Fiiiiive dollars!” “A sports coat with the tags still on—he threw it in for free!” I think the sellers enjoyed seeing their items go to such enthusiastic people. But the emotions involved in fraught purchases make me a little crazy sometimes. Early in our marriage, my husband asked why I was keeping a very worn pink wool sweater around. I explained that I could still hear my tenaciously frugal mom warning me in the Younkers department-store dressing room: “Well, you’d better be prepared to wear it a lot because it is not inexpensive.” More than 18 years later, I was still trying to honor that pact. My husband gently suggested that I’d kept my side of that bargain. Much of this issue is devoted to shopping, whether that’s finding the best grocery deals (page 34) or spring clothes you’ll enjoy wearing (page 114) or flea market finds to make your home a truer reflection of yourself (page 122). We all know the relief of identifying a quality, pretty umbrella (page 33) or makeup in just the right shade (page 20). And we know how lousy buyer’s regret feels (don’t get me started on the loud, floral pants of 2003). Whether you love or hate to shop, this issue has advice for a better experience. Enjoy!

I’m excited to reveal our second annual Real Simple Great Neighbor Awards (page 108), presented with our partners at the social media company Nextdoor. We love honoring these everyday people doing extraordinary things for their neighbors.

Follow me on Twitter @lyazel and Instagram @leslieyazel

6 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photograph by Remi Pyrdol

WA R D R O B E S T Y L I N G B Y A LY S S A D I N E E N ; H A I R A N D M A K E U P B Y S U M M E R T R A N

H AV E A B I T

“ABSOLUTELY REMARKABLE”

“I’VE FOUND MY HOLY GRAIL”

BY JHUTCHENS, FROM BECKLEY, WV

BY BRI, FROM MADISON, MS

“I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS STUFF”

“GLOW FROM WITHIN!”

BY TRISHA, FROM CINCINNATI, OH

“THE BEST ANTIAGING PRODUCT I’VE EVER TRIED”

“WORKS WONDERS” BY CSIBABE, FROM ABBEVILLE, SC

BY HEIDILADY, FROM LIVERMORE, CA

“I FOUND MY MIRACLE WORKER!”

BY JBEAUTY, FROM WASHINGTON D.C.

“WORKS SO QUICKLY!”

“BEST PRODUCT ON THE MARKET” BY JEMER76, FROM PALMDALE, CA

BY YOLY, FROM PERTH AMBOY, NJ

BY LITTLE EVIL, FROM NEW ORLEANS, LA

“IT DOES WHAT IT SAYS!”

BY CRISSY, FROM PITTSBURG, PA

“MY NEW GO-TO” BY FARICOOKIE, FROM MIAMI, FL

“#1 IN MY SKINCARE ROUTINE!” BY KRIS, FROM ANDOVER, MA

“MY SKIN IS GLOWING!” BY GP, FROM NEW JERSEY

“WOW, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL” BY CATHY P, FROM NEWINGTON, CT

“WORTH ALL THE PENNIES!”

BY ERK, FROM LOUISVILLE, KY

“I LOVE THIS STUFF”

BY KATIE K., FROM UNDISCLOSED

“FIRST SKINCARE PRODUCT WITH VISIBLE RESULTS” BY JENNY, FROM SNOHOMISH, WA

“BEST SINGLE SKINCARE PRODUCT I’VE EVER USED” BY BETH, FROM PENNSYLVANIA

“AHHHMAAAAZING!!! ” BY MIRA65, FROM PHILADELPHIA, PA

“GAME CHANGER FOR SKIN CARE!” BY ELIZABETH707, FROM DETROIT, MI

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Contents March 2019

O N T H E C OV E R

TO BUY: Cotton string bag handmade by Filt, $19; french-merchants.com.

S AV E O N E V E RY T H I N G Food Beauty Home Style Your Taxes 1 Bag of Groceries, 6 Delicious Dinners Tricks That Improve Memory

34 48 122 114 92

114

100

Easy spring outfit ideas

122

108

10 0

Find unique home decor

Introducing our Great Neighbors

Shop once, eat all week

8 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

C o v e r P h o t o g r a p h b y Te d + C h e l s e a C a v a n a u g h Prop St yling by Sarah Smar t

Swipe on a smarter lip gloss

Finally organize your footwear

Brighten your eyes

Thoughts

the realist

Editor ’s Note

How to Find a Dependable Umbrella

Real Simple 24 /7

Your Words

The Short List

what we love Dog and Cat Gear

Pretty Smart Beauty buys to save your sanity

The Staple Dijon mustard

Little Helpers Clever items that make every day better 26 New Uses for Old Things Fun spins on clothespins

Beauty Coach Master undereye concealer 33

Cooking School A one-page guide to grocery shopping 34 Real Simplifier How to sharpen your memory

balance 54

The Formula for Great Hair Days Three-step plans to fix frizz, flatness, and other hair woes 57

relating

Now What?!? Solutions for life’s mini disasters

Organize This Corral your shoes

How to Raise a (Successful) Failure Teach kids to handle life’s disappointments gracefully 65

Design by Destination Love a certain locale? Decorate your home to remind you of it 45 No-Regrets Beauty Shopping Where (and when) to find the best deals 48 The Essential Learn to style highwaisted pants

Modern Manners Catherine Newman offers advice Good Read Brandi Broxson on finding her biological father

5 Ways Technology Can Bring Your Family Closer Together Use it for good 78

Spring Without the Allergies We’ve all got them— here’s the best way to cope

11 Things the Best Bosses Do Take a note from some top managers 89 Make the New Tax Rules Work for You What to know before you file Making It Work How do you make mornings more manageable? Ahhh Take a breather

Real Simple Great Neighbor Awards Applause for hometown heroes

108

Your Spring MVPs Discover some pretty new pieces

114

How I Conquered My Fear of the Flea Our writer goes bargain hunting with design stars Emily Henderson and Orlando Soria 122

food 5 Easy Dinners

130

Road Test Pasta sauce

136

Make It Yourself Whipped cream

138

features One Grocery Run and Done Save money on ingredients but don’t skimp on flavor 100

for fun Closet Clean-Out Bingo

140

REAL SIMPLE (ISSN 1528-1701) (MARCH 2019) (VOLUME 20/ISSUE 3) IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY TI GOTHAM INC. TI GOTHAM INC. IS A WHOLLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF MEREDITH CORPORATION. PRINCIPAL OFFICE: 225 LIBERTY ST., NEW YORK, NY 10281-1008. PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, NY, AND ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. POSTMASTER: SEND ALL UAA TO CFS (SEE DMM 507.1.5.2); NONPOSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: SEND ADDRESS CORRECTIONS TO REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE, PO BOX 37508, BOONE, IA 50037-0508. CANADA POST PUBLICATIONS MAIL AGREEMENT #40069223. BN# 13200211RT001. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. CUSTOMER SERVICE AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: FOR 24/7 SERVICE, PLEASE USE OUR WEBSITE: REALSIMPLE.COM/MYACCOUNT. YOU CAN ALSO CALL 1-800-881-1172 OR WRITE REAL SIMPLE, PO BOX 37508, BOONE, IA 50037-0508. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. YOUR BANK MAY PROVIDE UPDATES TO THE CARD INFORMATION WE HAVE ON FILE. YOU MAY OPT OUT OF THIS SERVICE AT ANY TIME.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

Real Simple 24/7 FOLLOW US ONLINE FOR E XCLUSIVE IDE A S, TIP S, A N D W AY S T O M A K E L I F E E A S I E R — E V E RY D AY.

MEET

L AU R E N P H I L L I P S

Get in the Saint Paddy’s spirit by munching on festive homemade treats, from traditional Irish soda bread to a savory snack mix. BYO green beer.

Go-to recipe: A chocolate chip cookie recipe I tore from the pages of Real Simple back when I was in high school.

See the recipes at realsimple.com/ stpatricksday.

Most recent purchase: Several pairs of fleecelined tights. My wardrobe was not prepared for my first winter in the north. Coziest item in my home: My bed—I have eight pillows and two duvets piled on top of it. I take sleeping comfortably very seriously. @L AUREN.C.PHILLIPS ON INSTAGRAM

Real Simple Shop In the mood to score some serious deals? Browse our Real Simple Shop for the best online finds you need to better your home, pantry, closet, and makeup bag. View the products at realsimple.com/shop.

IGTV Follow us on Instagram at @real_simple. There you can tune in to IGTV as Real Simple editors and industry experts host original series focused on streamlining your life.

Easy decluttering PINTEREST @REALSIMPLE

Transform your kitchen into a stylish yet functional space with our seven low-effort organizing tips. Read the how-tos at real simple.com/kitchenhacks.

10 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Open

and tap

for slow-cooker recipes.

TWITTER @REALSIMPLE

FAC E B O O K @REALSIMPLE

S N A P C H AT @REALSIMPLEMAG

I N S TA G R A M @ R E A L _S I M P L E

C L O C K W I S E F R O M T O P L E F T : C O U R T E S Y O F L A U R E N P H I L L I P S ; B R YA N G A R D N E R ; C O U R T E S Y O F D A W N P E R R Y ; M A X K E L LY ; C H R I S T O P H E R T E S TA N I

S A I N T PAT R I C K’ S DAY S N A C K S

A S S O C I AT E D I G I TA L E D I TO R AT R E A L S I M P L E . C O M

TATTOO STUDIO

GEL PENCIL

too inten terp rpro roof. ensi sitt y. Wate f resistant Fade resistant 8 shades. Mical is wearing Deep Onyx.

Yo u r W o r d s

What shopping tricks do you swear by?

When you finally find those elusive perfect pants, buy two pairs. @SURF_SONG

Shop your pantry before shopping at the grocery store! Pick out the un usual or bulky item that’s been around forever and plan a meal around it. HAYLEY BARRON, DALL AS

I hold every piece of clothing in my hand and ask out loud, “Want or need?” I feel foolish, but it keeps me honest. The answer is rarely “need,” and so I save lots of money.

# R S L OV E

“ T H I N K A B O U T T H E F U N CT I O N A S PAC E S E RV E S F O R E A S I E R O R G A N I Z I N G . ” @ U R B A N S I M P L I C I T Y

After buying something online, I always check back in the following week for price drops. Anytime I’ve seen a different price from what I paid, the company has always happily credited me back the difference.

NANCY HERRICK , GLENDALE, WISCONSIN

Never go grocery shopping hungry! KELLY HANSON, RO CHESTER, NE W YORK

@K ATIEDEUTSCH

I always start at the back of the store. That’s usually where the sale items are, and you can find some real treasures tucked away back there! BARB KNAPIC, WO OSTER, OHIO

Find a friend or two who have the same fashion style and shopping philosophy as you. Take them with you as often as possible. Having a second opinion that echoes your values leads to less buyer’s regret.

Always park in the same area— it’s so much easier to locate your car when the mall or store is packed! MARY ELLEN M C CORMICK , RO CK AWAY TOWNSHIP, NE W JERSEY

I use one reusable shopping bag and fill only that one bag per shopping trip. This limits what I buy and how much time I spend in a store. @SONNHB

@REBEKK19

Words of wisdom from my mother: You never know till you try it on. @CL AIRE_MCCORM

12 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

If something catches my eye, I name a price (to myself) I’d be willing to pay for it. Then I look at the tag. If it’s more than the number I came up with, it doesn’t come off the rack or shelf. That way I’m naming its value, not the other way around, and I stay in control of the money I want to spend. @ITSME.LYDIA

If you can think of four realistic scenarios to wear it in, you can get it. If the scenarios aren’t in the next three months, you should probably pass. @NANTUCKET_SOUL

Shopping really late at night or really early in the morning! Nobody is in the stores, and it is so much easier to navigate. K ATIE SULLIVAN, CINCINNATI

The Instagrammers who shared the photos on these pages will receive a copy of The Real Simple Method to Organizing Every Room: And How to Keep It That Way. Want to be considered for this column? Tag photos on Instagram with #RSLOVE.

I buy my fresh veggies and fruit according to what’s on sale. I get creative with recipes based on what’s in season. It’s the easiest way to eat healthier on a budget. MARIAN BARKER, CAPE CORAL , FLORIDA

If you’re nice to the sales clerks, they will be nice to you. It’s amazing how much people forget to do that. DE ANA STEINBERG, STO CKTON, CALIFORNIA

When clothes shopping, I always remove one item from my basket right before checking out. This forces me to scrutinize my choices, and I avoid shopper’s remorse! GINA BUCCINO, SADDLE BRO OK , NE W JERSEY

Shop with your spouse. My husband and I make shopping together a priority. Not only does it help practically (more hands equals fewer bags to carry), but it has become a rela tional touch point for us throughout the week. I never thought something as mundane as gro cery shopping could be the highlight of my weekend.

# R S L OV E

“ S AW T H E S E AT W H O L E F O O D S A N D T R E AT E D M YS E L F. # T R E AT YO S E L F. ” @ E L L E _ 1 2 10

NEXT QUESTION... What etiquette rule are you sure to follow? Send an email to yourwords@ realsimple.com and let us know your answer to this question. Your response could appear on these pages.

SARAH STOUT, GREENTOWN, INDIANA

Reverse showrooming: Use Amazon to make a list of books I want to buy, then actually purchase those books at a local independent bookstore. @PEGTACUL AR

I have a limited number of hangers. When something new comes in, at least one thing goes out. No new hangers. C H E RY L K E N N E DY, M E X I C O

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

The Short List F I V E B O O K S T H AT W O N ’ T D I S A P P O I N T By Elizabeth Sile

Magical story Twisted thriller

Moving memoir After the sudden death of her father, Katie Arnold starts spiraling as she reflects on his de cision to leave his family when she was little. To cope, Arnold, an onandoff run ner, turns back to the trails, conquer ing longer and longer distances. Running Home is, as the name implies, a memoir about the sport. But it’s also an inspiring story about over coming grief and discovering yourself.

In Samantha Down ing’s My Lovely Wife, Millicent and her husband have been leading a quiet suburban Florida existence when they find an extremely... unconventional way to spice up their marriage: murder. A year later, the body of a missing woman is found in a hotel— not in the swamp where Millicent had said she was going to dump her. This wellpaced thriller isn’t going where you think it is.

Family drama Behind the music It’s 1979, and Daisy Jones & the Six has released one of the year’s best albums. But abruptly, on the final night of its tour, the band splits and is never seen together again. In Daisy Jones & the Six, Taylor Jenkins Reid imagines an oral history of the band’s rise and fall. It’s fictional—though Reid was inspired by Fleetwood Mac and others—but the band and the era are so fully realized you’ll think you’re reading a true story.

When his wife passes away, Arthur learns that she bequeathed a secret fortune to her children—but not to her cheating husband. A few years later, Arthur is broke. Ethan has spent his inheritance, while Maggie, altruistic to a fault, hasn’t touched a penny. When Arthur invites his children home to plea for a bailout, old wounds are reopened. Andrew Ridker’s The Altruists is a witty look at baby boomers and millennials and the things money can’t buy.

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

Harriet Lee is raising her daughter, Perdita, and navigating the school’s parents association. Her life is pretty typical of a London mom’s except for the fact that the dolls in her apartment talk, she’s from a country that doesn’t exist, and she bakes a powerful gingerbread that con nects her to home and her childhood friend Gretel. Helen Oyeyemi’s wholly original Gingerbread is a modern fairy tale about family history and legacy.

For more book recommendations, visit realsimple .com/newbooks.

14 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

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©J&JCI 2018

Dine at restaurants serving up cutting-edge cuisine, shop dozens of specialty shops and experience galleries & theaters. History enthusiasts seek out Civil War battleﬁelds, museums, and memorable sites. Wander picturesque mountain trails in National & State parks. Sip and sample at dozens of wineries, breweries & distilleries.

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E V E RY T H I N G O U R E D I T O R S A R E B U Z Z I N G A B O U T T H I S M O N T H

D O G A N D C AT G E A R H A S N E V E R E X A C T LY B E E N K N O W N F O R I T S L O O K S — U N T I L N O W. THE SE CLE VER AND ST YLISH ACCESSORIES ARE A S CUTE A S YO U R P E T S T H E M S E LV E S.

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

By Cat Dash

E C O - F R I E N D LY T OY This classic monkey fist knot toy is made with recycled fibers for an environmentally conscious touch. TO BUY: Harry Barker cotton rope Tug-andToss dog toy, from $8; mission-pets.com.

Photograph by Corey Olsen

TA K E T H E L E A D Playful pom-pom accents and gold detailing give standard rope leashes a run for their money. TO BUY: Ruby dog leash, $38; anthropologie.com.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

W H AT W E LO V E

Customize your pet’s profile with a range of frames. 5

6 4

1 IN THE BAG With its removable faux-fur lining for easy cleanup, you won’t mind toting Fido around in this carryall. TO BUY: We Are Tight bag, $198; howlpot.com. 2 W O R K O F A RT Upload a profile image of your pet, and Minted’s designers will turn it into a custom silhouette available in a rainbow of colors. TO BUY: Custom pet silhouette art, from $32; minted.com.

18 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

3 C H I C S LU M B E R An unexpectedly stylish take on a dog bed, this version is handmade from elephant grass and comes with a plush cushion for ample support. TO BUY: Bear dog bed, from $125; designdua.com. 4 W E AT H E R I T O U T Protect your furry friend from rain and wind on drizzly walks with this hooded zip-up slicker. TO BUY: Nylon Rainbreaker, from $58; wagwear.com.

5 F O RT U N E -T E L L E R This felt toy comes with a cheeky note and is filled with organic catnip for plenty of feline fun. TO BUY: Kitty fortune cookie, $12; modernbeast.com. 6 WORD HOUND Put your pup’s personality on display with these good-humored tags. TO BUY: Dog collar charms, $13 each; growlees.com.

7 CO OL COLL AR With a durable nylon core and machine-washable fabric, these handmade collars will endure walks and playtime alike. TO BUY: Dog collars, $32 each; thefoggydog.com. 8 RUFFLE SOME FE ATHER S Felt feathers, knotted twine, and a sturdy bamboo stick make for an enticing cat toy. TO BUY: The 9 Life feather stick cat toy, $16; etsy.com.

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

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W H AT W E LO V E

Pretty Smart A N U D E L I P T H AT W O N ’ T W A S H Y O U O U T, P L U S SE VEN OTHER BE AUT Y BU YS T O S AV E YO U R S A N I T Y

F E N T Y B E AU T Y BY R I H A N N A S T U N N A L I P PA I N T I N U N B U T T O N , U N C U F F E D, A N D U N V E I L

This sponge-tip, long-wear liquid lipstick takes the guesswork out of finding your ideal nude. Unbutton (a peachy nude) looks gorgeous on lighter skin tones. Uncuffed (a rosy mauve) stuns on medium shades, while Unveil (chocolate brown) dazzles on darker complexions. Just swipe and smile. TO BUY: $24 each; sephora.com.

20 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

By Heather Muir Maffei

2019 GOALS: SKIN BLISS “When my skin feels good, I feel good. Healthy, conﬁdent. That’s why my morning routine includes AVEENO® Daily Moisturizing Lotion. Because feeling good in your skin is what it’s all about.”

Nature’s Goodness + Real Science AVEENO® Daily Moisturizing Lotion and Body Wash give you 2X the nourishment when used together. Our prebiotic oat formula goes beyond basic hydration to rebalance skin’s natural moisture, leaving it soft and healthy looking. That’s skin bliss.

W H AT W E LO V E

EUCERIN RO U G H N E S S R E L I E F S P O T T R E AT M E N T

For those extra-dry parts—knuckles, elbows, knees, and heels—that require more than traditional lotion, try this gel. It exfoliates and hydrates to smooth any scaliness. Ahhh, that’s better. TO BUY: $7; at drugstores.

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LEBON MAKING WAV E S O RG A N I C M O U T H WA S H

The wand bends at its stem, creating the perfect angle to target tiny hairs at the inner corners without any smudging. Use it straight to lift and lengthen the rest of your lashes. TO BUY: $13; at drugstores.

The first mouthwash we’ve seen that we actually want to display on our counters, this alcohol-free formula uses peppermint to freshen breath without the burn. TO BUY: $38; davidpirrotta.com.

DY S O N A I RW R A P ST Y LER CO M P LE T E

Long-wear colors rock—until you can’t get them off. This washable cloth whisks away color with a dab of face wash. TO BUY: $26; takemyfaceoff.com. PAT C H O L O GY P E R F E C T T E N S E L FWA R M I N G H A N D AND CUTICLE MA SK

D OV E D RY S P R AY GO FRESH ANTIPERSPIR ANT DEOD OR ANT IN CO OL ESSENTIAL S

The same trusted, convenient formula is now available in a one-ounce baby version, so it’s even easier to take wherever you go. TO BUY: $2; target.com.

22 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Instead of using extreme heat to smooth hair, it uses air.

Slip on these gloves, which are infused with macadamia oil and shea butter, for 10 minutes while you watch TV. You’ll get softer hands and a moment of Zen. TO BUY: $10; patchology.com.

M A S C A R A S M E A R : B R I A N H E N N ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

TA K E M Y FA C E O F F X V L A DA’ S MIT TY POUT

With a price tag so steep, we rolled our eyes—until we tried it. It dries, smooths, and curls hair faster, with less damage. It has our salon-goers doing blowouts at home. TO BUY: $550; dyson.com.

BEAUTIFUL HAIR STARTS AT THE ROOT.

HAIRCARE WITH SOOTHING OAT AS THE FIRST INGREDIENT.

©J&JCI2019

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W H AT W E LO V E

Quick Ideas

The Staple Once made with verjuice (the highly acidic juice of unripe grapes), these days Dijon mustard is usually made with mustard seeds, white wine, and salt. From the French town of the same name, Dijon is the kick we rely on for more than just our go-to vinaigrette. Stir it into simmered blackberries for a sweet and savory sauce that’s perfect with pork chops or a fancy cheese platter. Whisk it into a melty cheese fondue to help cut the richness so you can keep on dipping. And mustard on popcorn? Mais oui.

1 B L A C K B E R RY- D I J O N S AU C E

Cook 3 cups black berries and cup sugar in a medium pot over medium, stirring and mashing, until thickened, 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in 2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard, 2 tsp. red wine vinegar, 1 tsp. fresh lemon juice, tsp. kosher salt, and tsp. black pepper. Serve with pork or grilled cheese sandwiches. 2 DIJON FONDUE

Toss 8 oz. shredded Gouda with 2 Tbsp. cornstarch. Heat cup white wine and 1 tsp. grated garlic in a medium pot over medium until steaming. Slowly add cheese mixture, whisking constantly. Cook, whisk ing, until smooth and thickened, 8 minutes. Remove from heat; whisk in 2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard. Serve with toasted baguette or crudités.

Melt 3 Tbsp. butter in a small pot over medium until golden brown, 5 to 6 minutes. Remove from heat; whisk in 1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard and 1 tsp. honey. Pour over 1 popped bag allnatural microwave popcorn; toss to coat. Learn which mustards pair with your favorite foods at realsimple.com/mustard.

B y D a w n Pe r r y Recipes by Liz Mer vosh

24 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photograph by Corey Olsen

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

3 H O N E Y- D I J O N POPCORN

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W H AT W E LO V E

M I C RO WAV E M I T T S

G RO C E RY S T O R E O RG A N I Z E R

This eco-friendly four-bag set fits inside your cart to make packing up at checkout a cinch. Includes a large insulated cooler bag, plus pockets for eggs and wine. TO BUY: Lotus Trolley Bag, $35; lotustrolleybag.com.

Safely grip microwave cookware, pressure cooker inserts, or small oven dishes with these neoprene-andcotton mitts. Great for opening stubborn jar lids too. TO BUY: Oven Mini Mitts with Pot Holder, $19; cuchinasafe.com.

GRIME BUSTER

Little Helpers S I X S M A RT P RO D U C T S TO M A K E YO U R L I F E E A S I E R By Brandi Broxson

C O M PA C T D I A P E R B A G

Small enough to fit inside your handbag, this nylon wonder is wipeable and washable. It contains a padded changing mat, a wipes pouch, and helpful pockets and dividers. TO BUY: Storq Kit Bag, $48; storq.com.

26 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

WA S H A B L E A R E A RU G

Perfect for homes with pets, kids, or butterfingers, this stylish two-layer rug is stain-resistant and has a waterproof, nonslip pad. The top layer removes for machine washing. Available in 100 patterns and four sizes. TO BUY: Diamond Trellis Pattern in Ocean, $99; ruggable.com.

T E AT I M E T R E AT

This 12-ounce ceramic tumbler comes with a stainless-steel infuser basket for loose-leaf tea (or fruit). Keep the lid on while steeping, then remove and use as a tray for the basket. TO BUY: Kati Steeping Cup and Infuser, $20; teaforte.com.

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

This all-purpose cleaning mist is dispensed from a suctioned bag, so you can spray it sideways and upside down. The bag contracts as you use it, helping you use every drop. TO BUY: Mr. Clean Clean Freak Deep Cleaning Mist, $5, and refill bags, $3; mrclean.com.

W H AT W E LO V E

New Uses for Old Things

Clothespins T H I S L I T T L E C L A S S I C I S S O M U C H M O R E T H A N A L AU N D RY H E L P E R . I T C O M E S T H RO U G H ( I N A L I T E R A L P I N C H ! ) F O R C R A F T, K I T C H E N , A N D C A R H A C K S . By Brandi Broxson

MIXED-MEDIA PA I N T B RU S H E S

CAR AIR FRESHENER

Add a couple of drops of your favorite essential oil to the pinchy end of a clothespin and clip it to your air conditioner vent.

28 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

G U E S T-T O W E L T R A C K E R

Prevent those “which towel is mine?” mix-ups by painting pins and assigning a color to each guest. No paint? Write guests’ names on the pins.

D I Y A P RO N

Clip a dishcloth to your waistband and use it to wipe your hands while cooking or cleaning.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y M I A K O K AT O H

Clip bits and bobs (feathers, sponges, cotton balls) to clothespins to make whimsical paintbrushes. They’re disposable too— no cleaning up!

Photographs by Corey Olsen

THINK OF THE LEAST

SMOOTH

THING YOU'VE EVER DONE.

THESE TASTE LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF THAT. (P.S. YOU REALLY DID THAT???)

DR. SOENGAS

DR. PATTON

DR. WEERARATNA

THESE WOMEN WANT TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. BY SAVING YOUR SKIN. Melanoma is one of the most common forms of cancer in the United States. Most cases are related to sun UV-induced damage to the skin. And nearly 9,500 people in the U.S. are expected to die of melanoma in 2018. But these five scientists are working to change all that. MRA, the largest non-profit funder of melanoma research, has granted these women a Team Science Award for Women in Scientific Research to advance melanoma detection and treatment. The three-year research project is powered by the brilliance of five female scientists and funded by L’Oréal Paris.

DR. SOSA

Since 2013, L’Oréal Paris has committed a total of $1.5 million to MRA research. With your help we will defeat melanoma. Learn more about melanoma prevention and support life-saving research by visiting itsthatworthit.org. And make every day an SPF day — rain or shine. DR. SCHUCHTER

U N C O M M O N S O L U T I O N S T O E V E RY D AY P R O B L E M S

H OW TO FIN D A D E PE N DA B LE U M B R E LL A

P R O P ST Y L I N G BY M EG A N K I A N TO S

Look for one that’s at least 40 inches in diameter for sufficient shelter, says Mark Duffin, managing director at Blunt Umbrellas in New York City. An easy way to test: Stand under the umbrella and stick out your arm; the edge of the umbrella’s canopy should hit about where your elbow bends. When you open the umbrella, the fabric should be pulled taut—a firmly stretched canopy helps disperse wind more effectively. If you live in a windy climate, a vented umbrella is also a good idea because it allows gusts to pass through it instead of charging at it, says Jen Carfagno, a meteorologist at the Weather Channel in Atlanta. A continuous shaft and ribs with no breaks in the joints can help prevent flipping. Your umbrella may be less compact but more durable: “With every break in the shaft or ribs, it loses some of its strength,” says Duffin. Go for a fiberglass body, which is more flexible than metal, and a rubber handle with grooves for a more comfortable hold. This model (the Stick Umbrella, $65; weathermanumbrella.com) checks all boxes. By Maggie Puniewska Complete your rainy day ensemble with the waterproof shoes at realsimple.com/rainshoes. Photograph by Corey Olsen

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

THE REALIST

Cooking School W H AT T O B U Y W H E R E : G E T T H E B E ST-TA ST I N G F O O D F O R T H E B E ST P R I C E W I T H O U R I N S I D E R ’ S G U I D E T O G R O C E RY S H O P P I N G . By Lindsay Maitland Hunt

FA R M E R S ’ M A R K E T SUPERMARKET

Your local grocery store is the place for pantry staples and basic fruits and vegetables. Join the loyalty program. “It’s free, and you’re looking at 5 to 10 percent extra savings on average,” says consumer finance expert Andrea Woroch. “Plus, some supermarkets partner with gas stations and let you redeem grocery points for fuel discounts.” Try store brands, especially for essentials such as flour, sugar, and peanut butter, and you’ll save 30 percent on average, she says. Avoid the bakery; there’s often a 300 percent markup on cookies and cupcakes. The same goes for precut meats, like chicken cutlets or strips for stir-fries. Don’t forget a reusable tote: Some stores give up to 10 cents off for every bag you bring yourself. PRO TIP:

34 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

WA R E H O U S E C LU B

You’ll find deep discounts on paper towels, sponges, and longlasting staples like vinegar, condiments, and cereal. But a warning: “Sometimes we end up throwing the bulk of what we bought in the trash,” says personalfinance expert Rachel Cruze. Buy only what you can realistically get through and have room to store (no one needs 10 gallons of honey mustard). PRO TIP: Have a plan, says Josh Elledge of SavingsAngel.com. “You can’t stock up when you aren’t even sure what you’re looking for.”

Food grown locally and picked at peak freshness shines with the best flavor and some of the highest nutrient density. Look for honey made from regional bees, sustainably raised meat, and locally caught fish. You might pay more for these premium proteins, but dollars spent at the market go directly to your local economy and agriculture. Talk to farmers and ask questions: How should you store a purchase to make it last longer? Is there a discount for buying more? No one knows the wares as well as they do, and you’ll likely score some great recipe ideas too. PRO TIP:

THE INTERNET

Look online for hard-tofind ethnic ingredients, project-based cooking supplies (think heartshaped sprinkles or spooky decorations for holiday cookies), or specialty diet needs like gluten-free flours. In general, avoid buying produce online unless it comes from a purveyor that specializes in fresh ingredients. PRO TIP: Check the weights on bags and boxes carefully before you hit the order button. It can take years to get through a pound of chamomile tea.

M O R E F RO M O U R K I T C H E N Find videos, lessons, shortcuts, and strategies to help you get dinner (and breakfast, and lunch, and dessert) on the table with ease at realsimple .com/cookingschool.

Illustrations by Adam Cruft

TEAR. EAT. CLIMB.

9g+ OF LEAN PROTEIN*

110 CALORIES OR LESS PER POUCH

23 DELICIOUS FLAVORS

THE REALIST

Real Simplifier

How to Sharpen Your Memory T H E S E E X P E R T - B A C K E D T I P S F O R R E C A L L I N G FA C T S , F I G U R E S , A N D ( Y E S ! ) W H E R E YO U L E F T YO U R K E Y S A R E W O RT H H O L D I N G O N T O. By Caroline McKenzie

G E T M OV I N G

V I S I T T H E “ PA L A C E ”

MAKE IT WEIRD

P U T I T O N R E P E AT

C AT C H S O M E Z ’ S

Long staff meeting? Take a short, brisk walk right after it to help you remember what was covered, says Terrence Sejnowski, PhD, a professor at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies and a distinguished professor at the University of California, San Diego. Sejnowski’s research also suggests that regular moderate exercise (elevating your heart rate above 85 beats per minute for 20 minutes) helps maintain the health of neurons in the hippocampus, the portion of the brain responsible for forming long-term memories. Always misplacing your keys? Do an uncommon gesture (like hopping on one foot) before setting them down to help your brain mark the location, says Nelson Dellis, a four-time winner of the USA Memory Championship and the author of Remember It!

Top memory athletes (yes, that’s a thing) use a technique called the memory palace. Imagine a route through your house in which you visit areas—front door, living room, dining room—in the same order every time, says Dellis. If you’re recalling a list of errands, imagine your dry cleaning at the door, your checks to cash in the living room, your prescriptions in the dining room, and so forth. “To recall the list later, think of the memory palace and mentally navigate the same path, picking up the images you laid there,” says Dellis.

“For the most part, our brains are good at remembering pictures,” explains Dellis. Instead of trying to memorize day-to-day essentials such as names, to-do lists, passwords, and so forth by brute force, he recommends turning them into pictures you visualize in your mind’s eye. “The more bizarre or over-the-top the image, the better your brain will recall it,” he says. For example, if you need to remember to pick up milk on the way home from work, don’t just think to yourself, “I need to grab a gallon!” but also imagine something like your car stuffed to the gills with cartons and milk gushing out the windows. The idiosyncratic image is far more likely to stick and be ready for recall later.

“Unfortunately, our brains are designed to forget,” states Dellis. “The best way to hold on to something indefinitely is to review it more than once.” Say there’s a casserole you make regularly and you want to commit the recipe to memory. You could try memorizing the ingredient list and cooking instructions in one fell swoop, but a more effective strategy would be to spend a few minutes a day reviewing the recipe over a span of five or six days. “You’ll spend the same amount of time,” says Dellis, “but you will retain the information much, much longer if you give your brain time to rest and revisit.”

A good night’s rest has long been equated with memory retention and optimal brain health. But recent studies show that mere napping can also bolster memory. “Your experiences are consolidated during sleep,” explains Sejnowski. “While eight hours a night is the standard-bearer, we now know that a nap also has a powerful effect.” A 2016 study from the University of California, Riverside, found that participants who partook in a 90minute midday nap were better able to retain information and tackle creativity challenges. But even a quick 20 minutes of shut-eye can send the brain into REM sleep and help preserve memories, adds Sejnowski. Nighty night.

36 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

For those reminders that really must go on paper, use one of the helpful organizing tools at realsimple.com/planners.

Illustrations by Amy van Luijk

Retinol + Hydration The best of both worlds. RoC® RETINOL CORREXION® MAX Daily Hydration Crème Visibly reduces fine lines and wrinkles, while also deeply

hydrating your skin.

METHODS, NOT MIRACLES

™

THE REALIST

Now What?!? S M A RT F I X E S F O R L I F E ’ S L I T T L E D I S A ST E R S By Kristine Gill

I need to remove a stripped screw. Find a wide rubber band, stretch it across the stripped cross mark, and press the screwdriver down into the rubber band, says Hunter Macfarlane, a home-maintenance expert with Lowe’s. Pressing firmly into the rubber gives the screwdriver something to grip as you’re unscrewing. If you can’t find a rubber band, try a small clump of steel wool or duct tape, which will work similarly to give the screwdriver something to grip. If neither works, Macfarlane suggests clamping a pair of locking pliers on the screw and slowly turning counterclockwise to avoid snapping the screw in half. If the screw is still not budging or is flush with the wood, try a screw extractor, which attaches to your drill and can be found at most hardware stores.

My child wet the bed. THE FIX: For the pajamas

My cast iron is really rusty. THE FIX: Submerge the skillet in equal parts water and vinegar before scouring with steel wool, says Serena Wolf, a chef and the author of The Dude Diet. Once the rust is gone, wash the skillet with dish soap and water. After it’s cleaned, reseason the cast iron: Use a paper towel and a high-heat oil, such as vegetable, avocado, or coconut, to lightly coat the skillet all over the top, bottom, sides, and handle. Then place the skillet upside down on a sheet pan inside an oven and bake at 450 degrees Fahrenheit for about an hour. Shut off the oven and let it cool to room temperature for another hour before handling. For a typical wash between uses, clean with warm water but steer clear of steel wool. Instead, use a medium-bristle brush, the soft side of a sponge, or a paper towel to wipe out food bits. Never use soap for general cleaning.

38 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

and sheets, blot away as much of the urine as possible with a paper towel before rinsing in the warmest water allowed for the fabric type, says Jennifer Ahoni, a senior scientist at Tide. Apply a pretreater to the stain and let it sit for about 20 minutes. Then wash separate from other clothing. To remove stains and odors from a mattress, gently mix eight ounces of hydrogen peroxide, three tablespoons of baking soda, and a drop of dishwashing liquid in a spray bottle, say Diana Elexpuru and Janet Thaeler of Two Moms Review, a lifestyle blog. Spray the mixture generously and let the mattress dry completely, about 24 hours. Vacuum the remaining white residue before making the bed. Dispose of any leftover solution immediately.

ANNA WILLIAMS/OFFSET

THE FIX:

THE REALIST

Organizing Challenge

Shoes S U R E , Y O U C O U L D J U S T B U Y F E W E R PA I R S . B U T W H Y N O T I M P L E M E N T ONE OF THE SE ORGANIZER-APPROVED S OLUTIONS INSTE AD? B y Ta m a r a K r a u s

1 INCREASE VISIBILITY

Keep shoes that you wear most often on open shelving. Ashley Murphy and Lisa Ruff of Neat Method, a home-organizing company with locations nationwide, suggest designating a row or section for each family member so everyone in the house knows exactly where to find their favorite footwear. Make the functional piece of furniture part of your mudroom decor (and prevent it from becoming a cluttered catchall) by creating an inviting display with flowers and framed artwork. Manzanola shoe bench, $150; wayfair.com.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

TO BUY:

40 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photographs by Br yan Gardner

2 M A K E U S E O F V E RT I C A L S PA C E

Take advantage of an empty slot in a closet and incorporate a tall hanging shoe organizer, says Lisa Zaslow, founder of Gotham Organizers in New York City. Install a shared organizer in the coat closet or place one in each family member’s storage space. No matter which approach you use, says Zaslow, once all the slots have been filled, invoke the one-in, one-out rule: Before you purchase a new pair, donate an old one. TO BUY: Household Essentials 10-pocket hanging shoe organizer, $15; amazon.com.

3 P R E V E N T D I RT Y FLO OR S

4 LEVEL UP

If you have open floor space in a closet, opt for stackable shoe racks, says Andrew Mellen, author of Unstuff Your Life! Edit your collection each season to keep unused shoes from taking up valuable real estate. Because space is limited, pick your favorite of each style (snow boots, heels) and store the others elsewhere.

Stop dirt in its tracks by placing in-season shoes on a rubberized boot tray in the entryway, recommends Erin Doland, author of Never Too Busy to Cure Clutter. Top it with a bench to prevent tripping and to provide a perch while putting on or taking off shoes. Large black shoe and boot tray, $40; containerstore.com. Harlowe wood bench, $300; jossandmain.com. TO BUY:

TO BUY: White mesh stackable shoe shelf, $13; containerstore.com.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

THE REALIST

I N S P I R E D BY

GREECE

1 S C A L L O P E D P E N DA N T L A M P Layers of iridescent shells offer a subtle nod to the coast. TO BUY: Capiz scalloped chandelier, $298; serenaandlily.com.

Design by Destination

3 B LU E B O T T L E Use it to bring color and height to a shelf display or to serve water (or ouzo!) with dinner. TO BUY: Baci Milano Carafe Blue, $50; jungleeny.com.

BRING HOME THE SPIRIT AND ST Y L E O F YO U R M O ST M AG I C A L VA C AT I O N S P O T ( O R J U S T F E E L L I K E YO U W E N T T H E R E ). By Stephanie Sisco

4 I N D I G O RU N N E R Add an Aegean vibe to your breakfast nook with this block-printed table runner. TO BUY: Egret table runner, $75; shopsundaymonday.com.

6 G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

2 T I C-TA C-T O E 2 . 0 The playing pieces are made from blocks of sea salt, giving this classic game a beachy update. TO BUY: Himalayan Salt Tic Tac Toe, $50; dearkeaton.com.

5 MINI OLIVE TREE Incorporate this symbol of peace into your entryway. TO BUY: Faux olive topiary (18 in.), $59; ballarddesigns.com. 6 N AU T I C A L A R M C H A I R A light wood frame and a woven seat give this modern chair an airy feel. TO BUY: Safavieh Bandelier light oak armchair, $284; overstock.com. 7 G R A P H I C T H RO W Woven stripes and delicate tassels lend character to an all-weather blanket. TO BUY: Tropez Navy Stripe Throw, $48; dearkeaton.com.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

THE REALIST

I N S P I R E D BY

MEXICO

1 FAUX C A C T U S No maintenance required for this trusty, desert-inspired houseplant. TO BUY: Faux Potted Saguaro cactus, $129 (25 in.); potterybarn.com. 1

2 D I S H WA R E T R I O Use one as a fruit bowl and the others for serving chips and salsa. Dishwasher and microwave safe. TO BUY: Terracotta bowls, $89 for 3; shop.jungalow.com. 3 COLORFUL PILLOW A gold zipper and a leather pull give this pillow even more pizzazz. TO BUY: Multi-Color Aztec lumbar pillow cover, $38; thehandmadedaisy.etsy.com.

4 R AT TA N C H A I R A pair of chairs perfect for your casita’s bistro table. TO BUY: Natural Rattan Rachelle chairs, $320 for 2; worldmarket.com.

6 B OT TLE OPENER Pop open a beverage with the help of this handy four-inch tool. TO BUY: Pineapple bottle opener, $15; wandpdesign.com. 7 W R A P P E D G L A S S WA R E Whether poolside or inside, the removable woven exteriors will help identify whose drink is whose. TO BUY: Pols Potten Tumbler & Reed glasses, $80 for 6; jungleeny.com.

46 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

5 E M B RO I D E R E D C OA S T E R S Colorful motifs brighten four cotton coasters that keep your furniture protected. Handmade by the Otomi people of Mexico. TO BUY: Otomi coaster set, $36 for 4; furbishstudio.com.

1 PRET T Y PILLOWS Illustrations of classic scenes from the British capital adorn these 18-inch cushions. TO BUY: Rifle Paper Co. x Loloi London and Queen’s Guard pillows, $60 each; riflepaperco.com. 2 C A M PA I G N D E S K With a slim profile and sleek brass hardware, this navy desk is a sophisticated at-home workstation for an adult or child. TO BUY: Kids Navy Blue Campaign Desk (30 in. high), $399; crateandbarrel.com.

1 2

3 B E V E L E D M I R RO R A streamlined mirror reminiscent of a pocket watch. TO BUY: Elinor mirror in gold (25 in. wide), $143; luluandgeorgia.com.

I N S P I R E D BY

G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P I L LO W S C O U RT E SY O F LO LO I ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

ENGLAND

4 H AU T E H O O K This wide brass hook offers sturdy support for your coats and hats. TO BUY: Tucker coat hook, $39; rejuvenation.com.

5 P R E P P Y WA L L PA P E R Add some pattern to your office walls with these removable tartan panels. In three colors. TO BUY: Graduate plaid removable wallpaper, $40 per panel; chasingpaper.com. 5 7

6 B E AU T I F U L B R E W Loose-leaf tea in prettyenough-to-leave-out packaging. Available in six flavors. TO BUY: Bellocq tea, $40 for 3.5 oz.; jaysonhome.com. 7 ELEGANT ARMCHAIR Luxe leather upholstery at a bargain price. The postwar silhouette seems as timeless as London itself. TO BUY: Nina Charme tan armchair, $999; article.com.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

THE REALIST

No-Regrets Beauty Shopping WA N T T O ST O C K U P O N A L L YO U R E S S E N T I A L S, F I N D F O R M U L A S T H AT W O R K F O R Y O U — A N D S AV E T I M E A N D C A S H ? W E L L , O B V I O U S LY. By Genevieve Monsma

UNLIKE SHOES,

cars, and furniture, beauty products rarely go on sale. In fact, for years, the only way to get a beauty deal was to storm a department store during gift-with-purchase week and score yours before they ran out. But the beauty landscape has changed. Thanks to the proliferation of boutiques and online stores, competition for your beauty buck is fierce, forcing retailers to find creative ways to lure you into their stores. The result: specials, samples, and a slew of free services that all translate into savings, as well as a more enjoyable and efficient shopping experience. Use these strategies to take full advantage of the new beauty benefits.

48 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Illustrations by Asia Pietrzyk

1 TRY BEFORE YOU BUY Nearly anywhere you go to buy lipstick or dry shampoo, you can (and should) expect permission to test-run a product before you buy it. “In an effort to keep pace with boutiques and department stores, many drugstores now also have tester units and floating sales staff to help consumers make shade selections,” says Sara Skirboll, a shopping expert for RetailMeNot. “And if there isn’t a tester, a salesperson may be allowed to open one. A polite ask usually goes a long way.” Walgreens has more than 3,000 beauty consultants nationwide, who are “trained to assist with color matching, application, and more,” says Lauren Brindley, group vice president of beauty and personal care for Walgreens.

TES

TER

ASK FOR A SAMPLE TO GO When it comes to skin care, you may need to try a product for a while to gauge whether it works for you. So ask for a sample. “At Nordstrom, we stock small vials and jars so we can easily provide a sample of almost anything,” says Mary Nell Maddox, Nordstrom’s national beauty director. Dillard’s also offers samples of foundation and fragrance, two items customers like to live with a bit before investing in. At Sephora, “there’s no limit on samples or a purchase required,” says Jeffrey English, a Sephora beauty director based in Los Angeles. Shopping online? Nordstrom and Bluemercury provide free samples with every purchase, letting you choose from a select offering at checkout.

DISAPPOINTED IN A PRODUCT? TAKE IT BACK In the past, if a product was opened, it couldn’t be returned, meaning you were stuck with that too-greasy eye cream or foundation that turned orange on your skin. Well, no longer. Most beauty retailers now have very generous return policies, allowing customers to bring back gently used products (as in, you tried an item a few times; you didn’t use up half the bottle) within a window of time. For some the window is 30 days, for some it’s 60 days, and for some it’s even 90 days—so ask before you buy. It’s worth hanging on to your receipts, since they may help you get cash back instead of store credit. Lastly, spend a few minutes talking to a salesperson about what you didn’t like about the product so they can potentially lead you toward a better fit.

3 CASH IN ON FREE EXPERTISE Heading to a party and want an eye look? Most stores now offer free (or redeemable-withpurchase) makeup lessons, skin-care services, and more. A few examples: At Nordstrom, Lancôme gives a “No Filter Needed” tutorial on correcting and concealing; Saks Fifth Avenue offers 15-minute On-the-Go Facials; and Sephora has group classes on a wide range of topics, like false-lash application, brow shaping, and makeup tricks to address the visible effects of cancer treatment. Call your local store or check the website for a full list of offerings. Note: If a service or class is free, you are under no obligation to purchase anything, nor is a tip expected.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

THE REALIST

JOIN THE CLUB Most retailers—department stores, drugstores, and specialty beauty stores—now offer loyalty membership programs with lots of nice perks, including cash back (usually in the form of points that can be applied to future purchases), exclusive coupons, early access to sales and promotions, and invitations to members-only activities. A few of the many programs available: Sephora’s Beauty Insider, Ulta’s Ultamate Rewards, Nordstrom’s Nordy Club, Saks Fifth Avenue’s SaksFirst Beauty, and Walgreens’s Beauty Enthusiast rewards program. Most membership benefits are easily managed and monitored in an online account, so you have access to your profile whether you’re shopping in the store or online. In most cases, the more you spend, the higher you ascend in membership status—and the more benefits you earn. To get the most from these beauty bucks, consider devoting your spending to one or two favorite retailers.

6 RESTOCK IN YOUR PJ’S Shop online if you know exactly what you want to buy. Many retailers, such as Nordstrom and Bluemercury, now offer free shipping and free returns. Not entirely sure what you want? Plenty of beauty sites and apps have tools to help you make your pick without leaving your couch. Target’s Beauty Studio, for example, partnered with Perfect Corp’s YouCam to enable website visitors to virtually try on hundreds of makeup items, including lip colors, cheek colors, and false eyelashes. Many sites also have online beauty concierges to help guide your selections. Just like in-store salespeople, these concierges are trained on product lines and are available to answer questions and make recommendations at no charge.

T H E B E S T T I M E S TO B U Y:

April, November, and January. That’s when stores offer discounts of 25 to 30 percent on average, says Skirboll. “Thursdays and Fridays are the days with the best beauty deals,” she adds. “Retailers want to stoke weekend shopping sprees.”

50 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

THE REALIST

The Essential T H A T B A S I C I N YO U R C L O S E T I S M O R E V E R S A T I L E T H A N YO U T H I N K . T H I S M O N T H : H O W T O S T Y L E H I G H - W A I S T E D PA N T S F O R A N Y O C C A S I O N By Flavia Nunez

S TA RT W I T H THE HIGHWA I S T E D PA N T S . . . TO BUY: Paper

Bag trousers, $60; hm.com.

SOF T ST YLING BY MAI TRAN

...ADD A TEE AND SNE AKER S

Use a simple outfit as a blank canvas for unexpected accessories, like colorful bracelets, polka dot kicks, and a basket-weave purse. TO BUY: Infinity Split Back Muscle T-shirt, $40; eddiebauer .com. Classic Trucker jacket, $189; dl1961.com. Armure Plate hoops, $140; fallonjewelry.com. Short Stretch bracelet, $35, and Tall Stretch bracelet, $48; solesociety.com. Anna satchel, $298; dillards.com. Nylite19Plus sneakers, $85; us.tretorn.com.

P h o t o g r a p h s b y Ke v i n S w e e n e y

...ADD A HIGH-NECK TOP

Tuck in a dark, textured blouse and add black and brown accessories for a polished, expensive-looking combination. TO BUY: Eyelet Sleeveless top, $149; 7forallmankind.com. Nine West belt, $19; amazon.com. Flower Power earrings, $35; talbots.com. Gold Station choker, $48; accessoryconcierge.com. Lune 8 in Gold watch, $240; nacre watches.com. Resin Half Dipped cuffs, $32 each; accessoryconcierge.com. Ann Taylor mules, $128; anntaylor.com.

. . . A D D A S C A R F A N D T R E N C H C OAT

Metallic and shiny details bring elegance to the wardrobe classic. A lightweight satin trench pulls the look together and wards off late-winter chills. TO BUY: Satin Twill Belted coat, $199; vincecamuto.com. Jazlyn Satin Long Sleeve top, $46; lulus.com. Dotty Stripe Silk Oblong scarf, $59; echo design.com. Skinny Faux Croc belt set, $7; forever21.com. Kiernan earrings, $130; kendrascott.com. Mini Francine bag, $415; brahmin.com. Enzo Angiolini Addalyn sandals, $89; dillards.com.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

THE REALIST

Beauty Coach

Brighten Your Eyes DA R K C I RC L E S G OT YO U D OW N? GR AB CONCE ALER AND FOLLOW THESE TIP S. By Lisa D eSantis

Choose a liquid concealer with a doe-foot applicator that’s a shade lighter than your base. If you’re in the market for a new one, Revlon PhotoReady Candid Antioxidant Concealer ($10; at mass retailers) works well. Under each eye, draw dots that form an inverted triangle with its point ending midway down your cheek. A light hand prevents cakiness.

Set it and forget it. Make your concealer last all day and prevent it from settling into lines by setting it with a translucent powder, like Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder Glow ($39; lauramercier.com). Instead of dusting it on, use a brush or sponge to press it into the skin to prevent streaking.

54 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

2 For a seamless blending technique, opt for a damp sponge to ensure the product doesn’t get soaked up. Makeup artists swear by Beautyblender ($20; beautyblender.com). Using a bouncing motion, dab it over each triangle. Stop when you can no longer tell where the concealer starts or stops. Hi, bright eyes!

Watch a video demo at realsimple.com/concealer.

P h o t o g r a p h b y M e i Ta o

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

H A I R B Y H E R V É F O R D AV I N E S AT S A R A H L A I R D & G O O D C O M PA N Y ; M A K E U P B Y M O A N I L E E ; S T Y L I N G B Y S H E L L E Y Y O U N G AT S A R A H L A I R D & G O O D C O M PA N Y ; P R O C E S S S H O T S B Y J E R R Y L E U ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

NATURAL BEAUTY We Have It On Authority

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THE REALIST

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The Formula for Great Hair Days W E A L L H AV E A H A I R W I S H L I ST ( M O R E VO LU M E , L E S S B R E A K AG E — YO U KNOW THE DE AL). THE 1-2-3 FIX CO ULD BE A S E A SY A S A N I N G R E D I E N T, A T O O L , A N D A T E C H N I Q U E . W I S H G R A N T E D ! By Heather Muir Maffei

P h o t o g r a p h b y M e i Ta o

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

HAIR SNAG

Dullness Jojoba seed oil is a waxy, easily absorbed substance similar to the protective layer of human skin. Try Aveda Brilliant Emollient Finishing Gloss ($29; aveda.com) on damp or dry hair to boost shine. P O W E R P L A N T:

A flatiron. Straightening hair smooths roughed-up cuticles so they lie flat and reflect more light. Limit use to special occasions, and use a heat protectant and a gliding motion to reduce damage. G O -T O T O O L :

M U S T-T RY T E C H N I Q U E :

Rub a vitamin E capsule along your hairline.

O P E N I N G PA G E : H A I R A N D M A K E U P B Y A M Y C H I N . P H O T O G R A P H S ( F R O M L E F T ) : K I K O J I M E N E Z / W E S T E N D 6 1 / O F F S E T ; F E L I X W O N G , H A I R B Y Y U K I K O TA J I M A , M A K E U P B Y J A M I E D O R M A N ; L E A N D R O C R E S P I / S T O C K S Y

HAIR SNAG

Oily roots Nettle can help reduce oil on the scalp. Massage Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle ($20; kloraneusa.com) into roots with your fingertips to buy a little extra time between washes. P O W E R P L A N T:

Use a boar-bristle brush to distribute oils from roots to tips. Try Cricket Smoothing Brush Duo Boar Nylon Brush ($17.50; cricketco.com). G O -T O T O O L :

M U S T-T RY T E C H N I Q U E :

Wash hair every two days (supplement with dry shampoo), and apply styling products from midlengths to ends to keep roots fresher longer.

HAIR SNAG

Frizz Murumuru butter creates a protective shield to help ward off frizz. Apply Carol’s Daughter Coco Crème Coil Enhancing Moisture Butter ($14; carolsdaughter.com) to wet hair to define curls. P O W E R P L A N T:

A silk pillowcase, like Slip Silk Pillowcase ($85; sephora.com). G O -T O T O O L :

Squeeze (don’t rub) stylers into hair, then wrap sections around fingers to shape curls and nix fuzz. M U S T-T RY T E C H N I Q U E :

HAIR SNAG

Damage Known for its fatty acid content, mango seed butter infuses hair with moisture and helps minimize the effects of environmental damage. Reap its benefits by using Seed Phytonutrients Moisture Leave-In Treatment ($26; sephora.com). P O W E R P L A N T:

HAIR SNAG

Thinning

G O -T O T O O L :

A member of the buttercup family, black cohosh has been thought by some to help prevent hair loss. Apply Davines Energizing Superactive ($57; us.davines.com) to toweldried scalp and massage until absorbed to potentially help stimulate growth.

M U S T-T RY T E C H N I Q U E :

Load up on iron-rich foods, such as lentils, spinach, and broccoli.

For some TLC, swap your regular towel for a less abrasive cotton T-shirt. To reduce stress on your strands, rough-dry hair on low heat at medium speed until it’s 80 percent dry, then go in with a brush.

P O W E R P L A N T:

G O -T O T O O L :

Spray a root touch-up where your scalp shows through to instantly achieve the look of more hair. M U S T-T RY T E C H N I Q U E :

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

ARGAN OIL

ARABICA COFFEE FRUIT

Produced from the nuts of argan trees in Morocco, argan oil earned the nickname “liquid gold” because of its incredibly rich blend of essential fatty acids, antioxidants, and vitamin E.

Need a boost? It may not surprise you to learn that Arabica coffee berries, grown near the equator, are packed full of antioxidants and nutrients.

COCONUT M ILK

ALOE VERA

Not only a delicious treat, coconut milk boasts essential nutrients, fats, and vitamin E.

For centuries, Aloe vera has been recognized for its many healing properties. Gel from the plant contains vitamins, amino acids, and proteolytic enzymes.

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NATURE Inspired,

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An Unprecedented Seal of Approval Herbal Essences is the ﬁrst global hair care brand to have their plant extracts endorsed by the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew. Born out of a shared passion and appreciation for the potential of nature in our everyday lives, the partnership ensures that the plant ingredients in Herbal Essences bio:renew hair care products are veriﬁed by Kew.

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Trust and Transparency Long renowned for its rich fragrances and quality ingredients derived from and inspired by nature for healthy hair, Herbal Essences bio:renew is now backed by the expertise and research of a world leading authority on botanicals.

MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS IN A MODERN WORLD

How to Raise a (Successful) Failure OFFSET

R E S I L I E N C E — N O T L E T T I N G S E T B A C K S D E S T R O Y Y O U, L E A R N I N G F R O M T H E M , T RY I N G A G A I N — I S O N E O F L I F E ’ S G R E AT S K I L L S . T H I S I S H O W Y O U T E A C H I T. By Jennifer King Lindley

Photograph by Mark Lobo

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

the sixth-grade science fair. Having dawdled until the deadline, my son, Ethan, had whipped together a seriously lame experiment: measuring the weight of a banana before and after it dried out. Every maternal atom in me thrummed with ideas for making “Banana Water” less bad. “How about you test several different fruits and compare? Or maybe a nice avocado?” I enthused. Ethan was unmoved: “Just bananas. It’s easier.” I watched him blow-dry the lone browning fruit and shrugged. On science fair night, at tables nearby, atoms were being split, obscure diseases cured. Ethan, looking uncomfortable under the glaring gymnasium lights, got only the thinnest, most polite grandparent traffic and—surprise!— earned a deservedly lackluster grade. “Maybe some grapes would have helped,” he admitted on the subdued car ride home. I now realize Ethan got to experience something that is increasingly rare for kids: what it’s like to just plain screw up. Our youngsters have been called a “failure-deprived generation”— famously blamed on helicopter parents, lawn-mower parents, snowplow parents, and other heavy-machinery types who swoop in to bawl out coaches and wheedle better grades. Jessica Lahey, the author of The Gift of Failure, has been an English teacher for 20 years and has watched her students become increasingly uncomfortable with taking risks. Lahey says this avoidance can be fostered by parents with even the best intentions: “It’s painful to watch your child stumble. You want to show your love by making a problem instantly better. But we need to look beyond I T WA S T H E E V E O F

66 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

the immediate emergency and take a longer view: ‘How can this help my kid grow from life’s many setbacks while I’m here to help?’ ” In fact, failing is essential to a welllived life, note a growing number of education leaders. Mistakes reside in a great neighborhood—on the corner of Learning and Pushing One’s Limits. Being comfortable faltering and getting back up are essential to building resilience. “We don’t rejoice in easy victories. If you recover from failure, you learn something about yourself. You are tougher than you thought. Or more hardworking. That’s how confidence is built,” says Rachel Simmons, the author of Enough as She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives. As a leadership development specialist at Smith College in Northampton,

“We don’t rejoice in easy victories. If you recover from failure, you learn something about yourself. You are tougher than you thought. That’s how confidence is built.”

R E L AT I N G

Of course, you don’t want to just throw your kid to the wolves. (“Good luck with choosing a college! Bye!”) Experts say the sweet spot of failure often lies just outside children’s comfort zones, where they have the chance to learn something that will serve them well in the future—running for a student council seat but losing, for example. “Emphasize to them that failures are proof you are pushing yourself to do something hard. If you are not making mistakes, you are probably not challenging yourself,” says Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do. Ready to raise your own little failures? Here’s where to begin.

T - R E X & F LOW E R / STO C K SY

Step back.

Massachusetts, Simmons helped develop Failing Well, a workshop series that included having professors and students publicly air their rejection letters and biggest screwups. Last year, Columbia University’s Teachers College established the Education for Persistence and Innovation Center, dedicated to studying the role of failure in learning and innovation. A 2016 study by the center’s director, Xiaodong Lin-Siegler, PhD, showed that students in low-income high schools who learned about the struggles and failed experiments of scientists like Marie Curie saw their own science grades improve. They see that intelligence is not something you are born with but something you gain through effort and, yes, error. “Students realize that success requires a journey with failures along the way,” says Lin-Siegler.

Allow your kids the chance to (deep breath) fail naturally. Start young, when the stakes are low: Let your 3-year-old lose to you at Candy Land, suggests Stephanie O’Leary, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and the author of Parenting in the Real World. “She might have a meltdown, but don’t lose your cool. Say, ‘I know this is hard.’ If she sees her mom tolerating her distress, she will realize it is not the end of the world.” For school-age kids, sports offer excellent lessons in taking your lumps (sometimes literally) and trying another day. Lahey’s son was tripped at the start of a cross-country meet. “If I had been there, I couldn’t have resisted coming to his rescue and asking for a do-over,” she says. “Instead, his teammates ran beside him, he had a personal best, and he beat the kid who fouled him. My son now counts that as one of the best running days he ever had.”

Stepping back may mean examining your own attitudes, says Morin. “You feel guilty if you don’t run to school with the left-behind soccer gear. You may see your child’s failures as a reflection of your parenting. To cool down, it can help to write a list: What are three things my child could learn from this? Seeing the logic on paper can bring you back to reality.”

Teach them self-compassion. However much it helps them grow, messing up hurts. Validate their discomfort, say experts. “We need to sit with them with those difficult emotions. Having parents take their feelings seriously is gold for kids—it is often what they want most. And they will learn that bad feelings are not going to destroy you,” says Simmons. Use active listening by repeating the gist of what they are saying: “Wow, that is rough! You must feel so angry right now.” And encourage them to practice self-compassion—being kind to themselves when they falter. “If [name a best friend] were feeling bad, what would you say to them right now?” you can ask. When you help them through the emotional sting, they feel capable of trying again.

Emphasize the lessons. Your kids take their cues about what to think about failure from you, says Kyla Haimovitz, PhD, a psychology researcher at the University of Pennsylvania who has studied how parents react to kids’ failure. “Your reaction has a huge impact on your kids. Talk to them in a way that focuses on the process: ‘I’m sorry you are not happy with how things went. Could you try it a different way? Could you talk to

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

R E L AT I N G

your teacher?’ What is not helpful is language that suggests their intelligence is fixed: ‘That’s OK, honey. I wasn’t good at math either.’ Or ‘Don’t worry. You are so good at reading!’ ” Tish Biesemeyer, mother of Olympic skier Tommy Biesemeyer (famous for enduring and overcoming serious injuries), took this approach: “He started skiing when he was 3 years old using cut-down skis in our backyard. By the time he was 12, he was competing against older kids. He would get so mad at himself if he lost a race, but he was determined. I would tell him, ‘Just getting pissed off isn’t going to do it. How about you talk to your coaches about how to fix it?’ ” She credits his

early experiences in resilience for his ability to withstand making the Olympic team in 2018, only to have to miss competing due to a last-minute injury. And he’s racing again: “Tommy has had to claw for everything he’s achieved. His setbacks have just made him dig deeper,” she says.

Share your own screwups. You may think being a good role model means you have to appear perfect. Quite the contrary. Sharing your own stumbles can show kids that mistakes are totally normal and thus helps them take their own in stride. Says Biesemeyer, “I’m in sales.

I would come home and tell my kids, ‘I didn’t get that sale, and I’m so bummed! Here’s what I’ll do differently next time.’ ” Simmons regularly shares her mistakes with her 6-yearold daughter: “I’ll say, ‘Whoops, I forgot to call the plumber. I’ll remember next time—my brain just got bigger!’ ” You can also discuss the struggles of their heroes—a favorite athlete who wasn’t picked until the final draft, say. J.K. Rowling famously lived through Harry Potter getting rejected by “loads” of publishers. In a commencement speech, Rowling told an audience of Harvard grads, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all. In which case you fail by default.” Goosebumps.

on the bench a lot, but go for it!’ Kids learn lots of things when they are not the best at something—persistence, empathy, losing gracefully.” It’s never too late: Out of love, you may have spent years running interference. If you catch yourself filling out the learner’s permit form for your teen driver, be direct. Advises Lahey: “Tell him, ‘I’m sorry I have not been treating you like the competent person you are. I’m here for you if you need me. But I think you can do it.’ ” Consider your parenting lapse just one more chance to model making mistakes and growing from them. After all, it’s a lifelong process.

Get real about social media. Instagram pretty much has a built-in My Life Is Totally Perfect filter. Everyone on social media seems to be on the homecoming court, accepted to the dream school, and laughing with gaggles of friends at the best party. “These images can make young people think that they are the only ones who have struggles and bad days,” says O’Leary. “I repeat to my kids all the time: ‘Understand what you are seeing on social media is not real. Posts leave the tough stuff out. Everyone has bad days.’ Saying that over and over to

them creates a mental basket for them to put those images in.” The parenting resource Common Sense Media advises you to frequently ask your kids how they are feeling about their social media feeds. Encourage them to take a break if all those perfect brows and perfect scores are making them feel bad about their own lives.

Nudge them out of the comfort zone. “My 10-year-old son prefers activities he is already good at, like music and math,” says O’Leary. “He recently wanted to start playing basketball. I got real: ‘You might end up sitting

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R E L AT I N G

Modern Manners R E A L S I M P L E ’ S E T I Q U E T T E E X P E R T, C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N , O F F E R S HER BEST ADVICE ON YO U R S O C I A L Q UA N DA R I E S.

M .W. A S K S …

My mother-in-law is obsessively clean, and when we visit, she scolds us at every turn. My in-laws recently built a lavish house with a finished basement suite “for grandkids,” but I don’t feel comfortable sending my kids to stay with her because I don’t want them scolded for being kids and I don’t want their hands to get raw from overwashing. She won’t come to our house because we are “too dirty”—her words. Is there anything we can do to get her to be nicer or to deal with these rules?

70 R E A L S I M P L E M A RC H 2019

A few close friends have very different political views from mine. My go-to has been to avoid the topic, but part of me is so upset about the news that I’m starting to feel like I’m hiding part of myself. How should I handle this?

ABOUT C AT H E R I N E The author of One Mixed-Up Night, Catastrophic Happiness, and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

When my family went to the Women’s March a couple of years ago, my brother-in-law, who has radically different politics from ours, generously hosted us in D.C., drove us to the march, and afterward met us for dinner, where our families spoke, in optimistic good faith, about our day. It was strange, but lovely—and it felt like an antidote to the cynicism that keeps us from engaging with difference. If you’re hiding your authentic self from people you love, you should reveal it. You can always touch back on safe ground—kids, work, whatever anchors these relationships—if it gets too fraught. But I’m starting to think we need to have these conversations if we want to bridge the enormous divides in our lives, our communities, and the world.

I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y Yo c o N a g a m i y a

C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y U L I K N Ö R Z E R

I’m sorry for your MIL that she’s compromising her relationship with her grandkids over a particularity about her things—although it almost sounds as if it might be a genuine mental health issue rather than a more straightforward pickiness, and I do appreciate the basement suite as an attempt at problem-solving. Offer your kids a psychological exit from the drama: “We try to respect Grandma and the way she likes her house, but those are values we don’t share. Do your best, but don’t fret if there’s a problem.” But the word “lavish” makes me think that this is a person who could afford to put you all up in a hotel somewhere, so suggest it and let her. Meet somewhere neutral, where she can have her own (meticulous) space and the kids can jump on the beds unscolded.

M . P. A S K S …

A . D. A S K S …

The trend in children’s birthday parties these days is to not open presents because it might make the other children at the party feel bad. But I feel like gift giving creates an opportunity for our children to learn generosity, selflessness, and thankfulness. What are your thoughts on this trend? I understand: On the one hand, there’s something overly tidy about opening gifts offstage, with any awkwardness occurring safely out of view. But on the other, there are potential pitfalls to opening presents in public, beyond the envy it can produce in little guests. Gifts exaggerate differences both socioeconomic and developmental. Some children can unwrap graciously, while others are overstimulated by it or unprepared to perform the little courtesies required: appearing excited about unexciting gifts, hiding horror about a weird-faced doll, not blurting out “I already have this” if they do. True, practice is key to learning these skills, but try not to judge families who deem their kids not socially adept enough—or who worry about creating an occasion for their little guests that’s too hard to rise to. Expressive thank-you notes can help illuminate the gratitude occurring behind the scenes.

D.Y. A S K S …

My eldest daughter is getting married next year. My son and younger daughter will be part of her wedding party. It’s a destination wedding, and I’m planning on paying for their flights. I also plan to pay for my son’s girlfriend to come along, but I do not want to pay for my daughter’s boyfriend to go, mostly because I do not like his recreational drug habit and endless video-game playing. It’s obviously a family function, and I do not consider him part of our family. What would you do here?

I would pay for both flights—or neither. Refusing to pay for the boyfriend is a passive aggressive way to express your disapproval, and I promise you it won’t go well. If you don’t like him, then don’t set up your daughter to have to choose between you—you’ll alienate her and push her even further into the relationship. Your job now is to treat your daughter as an adult, offering whatever supportive scaffolding she can tolerate along the way. I’m guessing your disapproval is not unknown to her, although you could consider expressing the concerns you have. But first ask yourself, “Is he decent? Is she happy?” If the answer to these questions is yes, then you might have to chalk up the habits you don’t like to a particular youngadult developmental moment and keep your opinions to yourself.

HAVE AN E TIQUE T TE QUE STION? Submit your social conundrums to modernmanners@realsimple.com. Selected letters will be featured on these pages every month.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

The author with the hot-air balloon she rode last year.

Good Read

The Great Unknown B R A N D I B R O X S O N M A D E A N E W Y E A R ’ S R E S O L U T I O N T O T RY T H I N G S T H A T S C A R E D H E R — I N C L U D I N G F I N D I N G O U T A B O U T H E R B I O L O G I C A L FA T H E R .

Can you hear me?” This was the first time I heard my biological father’s voice. As I guided him on Facebook Messenger’s talk-to-text feature, he accidentally pressed the microphone button. I held my breath, pressed the play button, and felt relief. He was a real person. In the late 1980s, my parents used a sperm donor to conceive me and my brother. They had spent five years trying to have children on their own, until a kind doctor on an air force base “ T E S T I N G — O N E , T WO, T H R E E . T E S T I N G .

72 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

C O U RT E SY O F B R A N D I B R OXS O N

SHE DISCOVERED MUCH MORE THAN NEWFOUND COUR AGE.

R E L AT I N G

I sometimes thought about how I’d find more information on my biological father. But fear always stopped me.

in Wyoming, where they were stationed, finally broke the news that because of a genetic condition, it was unlikely my dad would be able to help conceive children. They were presented with adoption or artificial insemination requiring a sperm donor. They chose the latter. The man who would become my biological father was selected because he looked so much like my dad, according to a questionnaire he had submitted to the sperm bank. He was tall, with light brown hair, green eyes, and a medium build. He checked the boxes describing himself as boyishly cute, loyal, friendly but not outgoing. My parents were told there was a one-in-four chance the process would work. They were successful on their first try with me, and their third with my younger brother, Dustin. Across the country, a family in Boston had conceived a son by the same donor. Another in Michigan was preparing to welcome a daughter. When I was growing up, the fact that my dad was not my biological father was never a secret. It was also no secret how much my mom and dad loved my brother and me. We were a close bunch and open with our feelings. Because of their parenting, Dustin and I never felt unsure of ourselves or our place in our family. We were proudly Broxsons. Throughout my childhood, my parents broached the subject of the donor gently and asked if I had questions. For the most part, I didn’t. On my own, I wondered about my biological father. His profession. Whether he too was called the Jolly Green Giant in middle school. Ah, adolescence. I wondered if he ever thought about the children he might have had a hand in creating. I sometimes thought about how I’d find more information on him. But fear—of hurting my parents’ feelings, of discovering something alarming, of all the other unknowns—always stopped me. I was, after all, a kid who was too cautious to go on the high dive one summer in the mid-1990s until I watched every other kid take the plunge. Would the donor be a person I connected with? Would knowing him make me feel different about myself? Would I feel comfortable knowing that I shared DNA with him? I worried how it might affect my dad, the man who had raised me, sacrificed for me, timed my swim meets, and texted me about the weather. I watched talk shows that featured donor children who were connected with their fathers. The process they went through seemed arduous and required private investigators, lots of money, and endless records requests. It especially seemed unattainable because my donor had requested anonymity, and the paperwork my mother received from the cryogenic lab offered nil in the way of information. So I set the idea aside through high school, through college, and even when I started my first journalism job and learned how to use databases to find people.

resolution pondering, I set a goal: Say yes to things that made me uncomfortable. I started with an oyster. Really. Sure, as a Floridian I was no stranger to unconventional foods. Alligator nuggets, quail breasts, and kumquats, devoured skin and all. But the idea of consuming raw oysters made my mouth turn inside out. One night at dinner, my brother, the family thrill seeker, topped one with hot sauce and handed it over. I slurped it down. “Not so bad,” I thought. “What had I been so afraid of?” That briny bivalve was the first domino to fall in a line of other uncomfortable but rewarding situations. I went on a group fitness trip during which I pedaled my butt up a mountain (OK, a steep hill!). I said yes to networking events and mingled with people I didn’t know (an introvert’s nightmare). And yes, that girl who was once too afraid of heights to jump off the high dive went up thousands of feet in a hot-air balloon. Something I didn’t realize about fear is that the confidence you gain from facing it head-on is contagious. With every scary leap, I felt more daring. When an email from AncestryDNA, a company that provides DNA testing, landed in my inbox one day in May asking if I’d like to do a DNA test and learn more about my family history, I replied yes. I spit into a tube and completed the family tree that came with the kit. My mother’s side was more lush with leaves and branches than the other, of course. But I was used to the bare limbs by now. It had come up at the doctor when I was asked about my family medical history, at the “around the world” elementary school program where I was asked to prepare the food of my ancestors. After so many years, I was ready to know more. In mid-June, I made an appointment with a genealogist from AncestryDNA to hear the results. I pictured just a pie chart of European country

I N 2 0 1 7 , A M I D L AT E - D E C E M B E R

Start the day with delicious strawberry ﬂavor.

C O U RT E SY O F B R A N D I B R OXS O N

NEW!

The author on a bike trip she took in California.

R E L AT I N G

At left, the author’s biological father in a high school yearbook photo. On the right, her brother.

C O U RT E SY O F B R A N D I B R OXS O N

percentages. When I sat down with corporate genealogist Crista Cowan, I could tell she knew far more than what percentage Polish I was. She told me that when my DNA had gone into the company’s system a few days before, my profile started to receive messages. We read one together from a man named Mike who claimed I was one of eight other known half-siblings. Then she told me she thought she’d be able to tell me the name of my biological father that day too, because someone in his family had also completed a DNA test and matched with me as a family member. Over the course of 30 minutes, we went through census records, marriage certificates, and newspaper clippings. At the end of our session, I walked out, legs wobbly, with my biological father’s name on a piece of paper. After pouring myself into a cab, I texted a picture of Crista and me to my mom, the first person I call with all my major news. “This woman just told me the name of my biological father,” I said. “What?!?!” she replied. We talked over the phone, excited and shocked about what I had just learned. Later that night, I responded to Mike’s message, and he added me to a Facebook group with my other half-siblings who had previously connected on AncestryDNA and other sites, like 23andMe. Instant siblings. We shared photos and background about our lives. Our group included a biological scientist from Michigan, a police dispatcher in Florida, a lifeguard in New York, and a naturalist in Oregon. It was not uncommon for us to be so spread out, I later learned. Many donor centers send sperm across the country so recipients aren’t concentrated in one area. No one else knew who the donor was. I kept the information close for a week or two, processing how the situation should unfold. I searched my biological father’s name on AncestryDNA, and a high school yearbook picture of him populated on the screen. Shaggy hair, an oval face with a soft, closed-mouth grin. I was startled by what I saw because I had seen that face a million times before. He looked just like my brother, Dustin. Or my brother looked just like him. I also waited a few weeks to tell my dad, knowing he might be more sensitive. When I did, he was initially scared that our relationship would change. Slowly, and after many candid conversations, he said he realized he had nothing to worry about. I would always be his daughter.

Mike was the first of my newly discovered half-siblings I met in person. He worked in the same building I did, 30 floors up.

of my newly discovered half-siblings I met in person. He’s the oldest of the siblings (I’m the second). He worked in the same building I did, 30 floors up from Real SimpleÕs offices. It was a detail that freaked me out at first but has since felt serendipitous. We looked out the same westward-facing window each day at the ferry boats crossing the Hudson River. We ordered dumplings from the same place in the food court. Mike and I met after work at a dive bar a couple of blocks from our office building. I felt an instant connection to him. We shared the same green, almond-shaped eyes, discovered we had both played the trumpet, and spoke in a similar cadence. Over $4 beers, I emotionally told Mike about my meeting with the genealogist and about the donor. He said later that he felt like the exploding-head emoji. Afterward, we told the news to the rest of the siblings and were faced with a choice: Do we reach out to the donor? Or not? After many group Facebook polls and discussions, I drafted a message explaining that our desire to reach out wasn’t motivated by much more than wanting the chance to thank him and possibly hear more about his medical background. For two months we waited. And then my phone pinged right as I was drifting to sleep on a Friday in September. We confirmed his donor ID number and made plans to talk as a group with the other siblings the next day, and he signed off with: “Please let everyone know today has been one of the greatest days in my life.” “You and me both,” I thought. M I K E WA S T H E F I R S T

Rice Krispies Treats, made with ...

for New York City to pursue a job in magazines (a risk I took long before my first oyster), my mom said I was going to “be with my people.” She was talking about “city people,” who enjoyed the hustle and bustle my small coastal hometown didn’t provide. Little did either of us know I would discover a few new family members too. ABOUT It’s been rewarding to connect with my eight half-siblings T H E AU T H O R (and counting). I don’t love the term “half-sibling,” because in Brandi Broxson some ways it signifies that these people are half as important is Real SimpleÕs senior editor. She to me. But what do you call someone whose wedding you lives in Brooklyn, attended two months after meeting? At his wedding, Mike New York, with introduced me as his sister, which just felt right. I may not her partner, Francisco, and rescue have known them or grown up with them for the first third dog, Ranger. of my life, but I’m excited to get to know them and grow close for the next two-thirds. It’s said that the oysters with the biggest prize inside are the hardest to pry open. But when you have experience tackling the easier ones— taking the hot-air balloon rides, saying yes to the networking events—that prize is so much sweeter. My year of tackling fears brought me closer to my family (both old and new) and also made me bolder in my decisions. I feel like the world is my, well, you know.

C H R I S C A L L A WAY

W H E N I L E F T F L O R I DA

Share a family photo book.

5 Ways Technology Can Bring Your Family Closer Together

My husband and I love to travel, and our relatives love that we love to travel. We began to upload photos to the album we created on Google Photos so our family could join our adventure. When we had our daughter, the album became a space where we could easily keep grandparents and siblings connected, from the minute she was born, even though we are all scattered. Everyone shares photos now, especially if we visit each other. The albums foster discussion, eliciting comments and starting chats; they make a delightful repository of connection in the cloud. And the service sometimes sends reminders of posts from the past, each its own lovely visual memory. It’s the modern equivalent of a slideshow at a family gathering. ALEXANDRA BROWN IS A COAUTHOR OF A YE AR OFF: A STORY ABOUT TRAVEL ING T H E WO R L D — AN D H OW TO MAKE I T HAPPEN FOR YOU. SHE AND HER HUSBAND AND COAUTHOR, DAVID BROWN, LIVE IN P ORTL AND, OREGON, WITH THEIR NE ARLY 2-YE AR-OLD DAUGHTER—ACROS S THE COUNTRY FROM THEIR PARENTS.

E N O U G H W I T H T H E D O O M S D AY W A R N I N G S — C H E C K O U T T H E H A L F- F U L L S I D E O F H O W E X P E RT S A R E C O N N E C T I N G W I T H L O V E D O N E S D I G I T A L LY. By Sharlene Breakey

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I l l u s t r a t i o n b y S a m Ka l d a

R E L AT I N G

Find a common language.

Fill the gap with games. The popular social video game Fortnite gets lots of criticism, but I love the way it keeps my sons close to friends who are far away—and to each other. Through headsets, they talk in real time, critiquing tactics, joking around, and trying to save each other: teamwork. My boys are five years apart, 12 and 17, but it is one thing they can do together. I’m so happy when they’ve negotiated with me for screen time and then use it to play with each other. And yes, I’ve even gotten on there with them. KJ DELL’ANTONIA IS A FORMER LE AD EDITOR OF THE NEW YORK T IMES MOTHER LODE BLO G AND THE AUTHOR OF HOW TO BE A HAPPIER PARENT: RAISING A FAMILY, HAV ING A L IFE, AND LOV ING (ALMOST) EVERY MINUTE. SHE LIVES ON A FARM IN LYME, NE W HAMP SHIRE, WITH HER HUSBAND AND FOUR KIDS.

My family loves music, so when we go on long road trips, my wife and I break our no-screens-in-the-car rule to let our boys, who are 15, 12, and 7, create Spotify playlists for everyone to listen to. We often end up singing along or engaging in rich conversations about the music. The trick is to use the technology to create a shared experience that increases bonding, rather than isolating us. We continue to reap the benefits at home, as we lug around a Bluetooth speaker so we can access the lists as we work out, cook and clean, or play hoops or Frisbee together. We’ve even all gone together to see concerts of the bands we learned to like along the way. It’s a bit magical. MIKE BROOKS, PHD, IS A COAUTHOR (WITH JON L AS SER, PHD) OF TECH GENERAT ION: RA ISING BAL ANCED K IDS IN A HYPERC ONNECTED WORLD. HE LIVES IN AUSTIN, TE XAS.

Pick your spots.

The trick is to use the technology to create a shared experience that increases bonding, rather than isolating us.

Join the moment—remotely. We live in a different city from our grandchildren, so my wife and I use FaceTime to take virtual strolls in the park with my daughter and her daughter and son. Sometimes we chat during dinner or read to the grandkids at bedtime. FaceTime during daily routines keeps us close, even though we see one another in the flesh only every six weeks or so. We avoid FaceTime during significant moments like recitals or sporting events, though, because it disengages the caller from the pleasure of the moment. The real connection comes from just happening to be present as the children say a new word or respond to a joke. Or to my clucking; I have a silly cluck I use just with them. The kids are only 5 and 2, but that two-by-three-inch version of me on the screen is an extension of Grandfather. Grandfather 2.0!

My two grown sons and I limit phone use when we’re together, but the communication that technology affords us when we’re apart is a gift. One of my sons is an artist, and he shares his creative process with me by sending photos or videos. When he created a seven-foot Venus de Milo sculpture out of 130 metal isosceles triangles, for example, I felt I understood his work so much better after seeing the process unfold—how he used geometry to configure things, welded the pieces together, experimented with variegated shades of gray to paint it. I never could have gotten that from a phone call. As a neuroscientist who is often worried about technology’s impact, I think it’s important not to let tech detract from our interactions when we’re together. The key is to find an intentional and thoughtful balance. MARYANNE WOLF IS THE AUTHOR OF RE ADER , C OME HOME: THE RE ADING BRA IN IN A DIGI TAL WORLD AND THE DIRECTOR OF THE CENTER FOR DYSLE XIA , DIVERSE LE ARNERS, AND SO CIAL JUSTICE AT THE GRADUATE SCHO OL OF EDUCATION AND INFORMATION STUDIES AT UCL A .

AL AN LIGHTMAN, PHD, IS A PROFES SOR AT THE MAS SACHUSE T TS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLO GY AND THE AUTHOR OF IN PRA ISE OF WAST ING T IME. HE LIVES IN THE BOSTON ARE A .

See how technology has helped other Real Simple readers’ relationships at realsimple.com/techlove.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

W O R K , M O N E Y, A N D H E A L T H ADVICE FOR BUSY PEOPLE

Spring Without the Allergies I T’S N OT J U ST YO U—S E A S O N A L A L L E RG I E S A R E AT A N A L L-T I M E H I G H . P H O T O G R A P H S B Y T H AY E R A L LY S O N G O W D Y ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y S A R A H C AV E AT E H M A N A G E M E N T

B U T T H AT D O E S N ’ T M E A N YO U R N O S E I S D O O M E D TO RU N FO R E V E R . By Rachel Jacoby Zoldan

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

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at this very moment, people—maybe including you?—are starting to notice a little tickle in their noses or throats. Some have never had allergies before but are developing them out of nowhere; others thought they had their allergies under control, but they’re back with a vengeance. If allergies are taking you by surprise, you may need to revisit the basics and revamp your action plan. In medical terms, seasonal allergies are known as rhinitis. You probably know it if you have it: itchy, watery eyes, a stuffy or runny nose, sneezing, itching, a postnasal drip, coughing, wheezing, and shortness of breath are all common symptoms of seasonal rhinitis. “Seasonal allergies are basically an overreaction of the immune system for people who are allergic to pollen and mold spores, which you should not be overreacting to,” says Giana Nicoara, MD, an allergist-immunologist at Allergy Associates of La Crosse in Onalaska, Wisconsin. What’s more, when you have seasonal allergies, you tend to be more sensitive to other irritants. “If you have any baseline inflammation, as you would from seasonal allergies, pretty much anything—think strong scents, such as those from perfume—can put you over the limit,” says Nicoara. The smell of gasoline can contribute, and strong household odors, like bleach, may bother allergy sufferers as well, she adds. And for eczema sufferers, allergens can trigger flare-ups. In other words, everything is the worst. A L L OV E R T H E COU N T RY,

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Unfortunately, experts say, seasonal allergies are on the rise. The main culprit: climate change. “Increased temperature, humidity, and outdoor carbon dioxide are lengthening the pollinating season, with pollen production up 90 percent,” says Kathleen Dass, MD, an allergist-immunologist with the Michigan Allergy, Asthma & Immunology Center in Oak Park, Michigan. Air pollution, which rose by 8 percent between 2008 and 2013, per World Health Organization data, plays a role too. Particulate matter, which can come from power plants, construction sites, busy roads, and fires, is a big trigger, notes Sara Axelrod, MD, an allergist-immunologist with ENT and Allergy Associates in East Brunswick, New Jersey. You’re (probably) not going to move to a different zip code to avoid allergies, but there are some steps you can take to find relief.

Remove your shoes and change your clothes when you enter your home. Wearing pollen-covered shoes and clothing inside will just drag the allergenic particles into your home.

First Step: Minimize Yes, if you’re dealing with allergies, you’re probably going to need some kind of actual treatment (we’ll get to that). But you can reduce the misery—and maybe even your need for meds— by making a few small changes around the house. D O U B L E D O W N O N C L E A N I N G.

Dusting and vacuuming regularly— the Dyson Ball Multi Floor 2 vacuum ($300; dyson.com) is equipped with an allergen-mitigating HEPA filter—can keep pollen at bay, though you might consider wearing a mask while you do so, since cleaning can stir up irritants. Washing sheets and blankets regularly helps too. When it comes to cleaning surfaces, Nicoara suggests avoiding the strong smells of many storebought products by making a DIY cleaner with one part white vinegar, one part hydrogen peroxide, and a bit of water. “I use it for all hard surfaces,” she says, “and it does as good a job as a commercial bleach formula would.” K E E P YO U R W I N D O W S C L O S E D.

If things get stuffy, your AC unit is a better choice than fresh air because it helps filter the air. Just try not to leave it on 24/7, and keep it clean and well maintained to help reduce its environmental impact. (It’s a vicious cycle!)

FOR ADULTS WITH UNCONTROLLED MODERATE-TO-SEVERE

ECZEMA (ATOPIC DERMATITIS)

DUPIXENT, the first eczema treatment of its kind, is not a steroid. It is a biologic treatment that helps manage the inflammation deep beneath the surface that causes the flare-ups you see and feel on your skin―and keeps working, even when your skin looks clear.

In Two Clinical Trials with DUPIXENT* • Nearly half of patients saw 75% skin improvement and some even saw 90% improvement • Almost 4 times more patients taking DUPIXENT saw clear or almost clear skin as compared with those not taking DUPIXENT – 37% taking DUPIXENT as compared with 10% not taking DUPIXENT • Patients experienced significant itch reduction, some patients as early as 2 weeks *16-week trials compared to placebo.

Jennifer W., actual DUPIXENT patient. Individual results may vary.

Learn more. Talk to your eczema specialist. Visit DUPIXENT.com, or call 1-844-DUPIXENT (1-844-387-4936). INDICATION DUPIXENT is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderate-to-severe atopic dermatitis (eczema) that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin (topical), or who cannot use topical therapies. DUPIXENT can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. It is not known if DUPIXENT is safe and eﬀective in children with atopic dermatitis under 18 years of age.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Do not use if you are allergic to dupilumab or to any of the ingredients in DUPIXENT. Before using DUPIXENT, tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including if you: • have eye problems • have a parasitic (helminth) infection • are taking oral, topical, or inhaled corticosteroid medicines. Do not stop taking your corticosteroid medicines unless instructed by your healthcare provider. This may cause other symptoms that were controlled by the corticosteroid medicine to come back. • are scheduled to receive any vaccinations. You should not receive a “live vaccine” if you are treated with DUPIXENT. • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known whether DUPIXENT will harm your unborn baby. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known whether DUPIXENT passes into your breast milk. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins and herbal supplements. If you are taking asthma medicines, do

You may be eligible for a $0 copay† for DUPIXENT. †

Limitations apply. Visit DUPIXENT.com for full program terms.

not change or stop your asthma medicine without talking to your healthcare provider. DUPIXENT can cause serious side effects, including: • Allergic reactions (hypersensitivity), including a severe reaction known as anaphylaxis. Stop using DUPIXENT and tell your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away if you get any of the following symptoms: breathing problems, fever, general ill feeling, swollen lymph nodes, swelling of the face, mouth and tongue, hives, itching, fainting, dizziness, feeling lightheaded (low blood pressure), joint pain, or skin rash. • Eye problems. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new or worsening eye problems, including eye pain or changes in vision. The most common side effects include injection site reaction, eye and eyelid infl ammation, including redness, swelling and itching, pain in the throat (oropharyngeal pain) and cold sores in your mouth or on your lips. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. These are not all the possible side effects of DUPIXENT. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Use DUPIXENT exactly as prescribed. If your healthcare provider decides that you or a caregiver can give DUPIXENT injections, you or your caregiver should receive training on the right way to prepare and inject DUPIXENT. Do not try to inject DUPIXENT until you have been shown the right way by your healthcare provider.

Please see accompanying Brief Summary on next page.

Brief Summary of Important Patient Information about DUPIXENT® (dupilumab) (DU-pix’-ent) injection, for subcutaneous use What is DUPIXENT? • DUPIXENT is a prescription medicine used: – to treat adults with moderate-to-severe atopic dermatitis (eczema) that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin (topical), or who cannot use topical therapies. DUPIXENT can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. – with other asthma medicines for the maintenance treatment of moderate-to-severe asthma in people aged 12 years and older whose asthma is not controlled with their current asthma medicines. DUPIXENT helps prevent severe asthma attacks (exacerbations) and can improve your breathing. DUPIXENT may also help reduce the amount of oral corticosteroids you need while preventing severe asthma attacks and improving your breathing. • DUPIXENT works by blocking two proteins that contribute to a type of inflammation that plays a major role in atopic dermatitis and asthma. • DUPIXENT is not used to treat sudden breathing problems • It is not known if DUPIXENT is safe and effective in children with atopic dermatitis under 18 years of age. • It is not known if DUPIXENT is safe and effective in children with asthma under 12 years of age. Who should not use DUPIXENT? Do not use DUPIXENT if you are allergic to dupilumab or to any of the ingredients in DUPIXENT. See the end of this summary of information for a complete list of ingredients in DUPIXENT. What should I tell my healthcare provider before using DUPIXENT? Before using DUPIXENT, tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including if you: • have eye problems (if you also have atopic dermatitis) • have a parasitic (helminth) infection • are taking oral, topical, or inhaled corticosteroid medicines. Do not stop taking your corticosteroid medicines unless instructed by your healthcare provider. This may cause other symptoms that were controlled by the corticosteroid medicine to come back. • are scheduled to receive any vaccinations. You should not receive a “live vaccine” if you are treated with DUPIXENT. • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known whether DUPIXENT will harm your unborn baby. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known whether DUPIXENT passes into your breast milk. Tell your healthcare provider about all of the medicines you take including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. If you have asthma and are taking asthma medicines, do not change or stop your asthma medicine without talking to your healthcare provider. How should I use DUPIXENT? • See the detailed “Instructions for Use” that comes with DUPIXENT for information on how to prepare and inject DUPIXENT and how to properly store and throw away (dispose of) used DUPIXENT pre-filled syringes. • Use DUPIXENT exactly as prescribed by your healthcare provider. • DUPIXENT comes as a single-dose pre-filled syringe with needle shield. • DUPIXENT is given as an injection under the skin (subcutaneous injection). • If your healthcare provider decides that you or a caregiver can give the injections of DUPIXENT, you or your caregiver should receive training on the right way to prepare and inject DUPIXENT. Do not try to inject DUPIXENT until you have been shown the right way by your healthcare provider. In adolescents with asthma 12 years of age and older, it is recommended that DUPIXENT be administered by or under supervision of an adult. • If you miss a dose of DUPIXENT, give the injection within 7 days from the missed dose, then continue with the original schedule. If the missed dose is not given within 7 days, wait until the next scheduled dose to give your DUPIXENT injection.

Rx Only

• If you inject more DUPIXENT than prescribed, call your healthcare provider right away. • Your healthcare provider may prescribe other medicines to use with DUPIXENT. Use the other prescribed medicines exactly as your healthcare provider tells you to. Stop using DUPIXENT and tell your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away if you get any of the following symptoms: breathing problems, fever, general ill feeling, swollen lymph nodes, swelling of the face, mouth and tongue, hives, itching, fainting, dizziness, feeling lightheaded (low blood pressure), joint pain, or skin rash. What are the possible side effects of DUPIXENT? DUPIXENT can cause serious side effects, including: • Allergic reactions (hypersensitivity), including a severe reaction known as anaphylaxis. Stop using DUPIXENT and tell your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away if you get any of the following symptoms: breathing problems, fever, general ill feeling, swollen lymph nodes, swelling of the face, mouth and tongue, hives, itching, fainting, dizziness, feeling lightheaded (low blood pressure), joint pain, or skin rash. • Eye problems. If you have atopic dermatitis, tell your healthcare provider if you have any new or worsening eye problems, including eye pain or changes in vision. • Inflammation in your blood vessels: Rarely, this can happen in people with asthma who receive DUPIXENT. This may happen in people who also take a steroid medicine by mouth that is being stopped or the dose is being lowered. It is not known whether this is caused by DUPIXENT. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have: rash, shortness of breath, persistent fever, chest pain, or a feeling of pins and needles or numbness of your arms or legs. The most common side effects of DUPIXENT include: injection site reactions, pain in the throat (oropharyngeal pain) and cold sores in your mouth or on your lips. Eye and eyelid inflammation, including redness, swelling and itching have been seen in patients who have atopic dermatitis. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. These are not all of the possible side effects of DUPIXENT. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. General information about the safe and effective use of DUPIXENT. Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Patient Information leaflet. Do not use DUPIXENT for a condition for which it was not prescribed. Do not give DUPIXENT to other people, even if they have the same symptoms that you have. It may harm them. This is a summary of the most important information about DUPIXENT. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can ask your pharmacist or healthcare provider for more information about DUPIXENT that is written for healthcare professionals. For more information about DUPIXENT, go to www.DUPIXENT.com or call 1-844-DUPIXENT (1-844-387-4936) What are the ingredients in DUPIXENT? Active ingredient: dupilumab Inactive ingredients: L-arginine hydrochloride, L-histidine, polysorbate 80, sodium acetate, sucrose, and water for injection Manufactured by: Regeneron Pharmaceuticals, Inc., Tarrytown, NY 10591 U.S. License # 1760; Marketed by sanofi-aventis U.S. LLC,(Bridgewater, NJ 08807) and Regeneron Pharmaceuticals, Inc. (Tarrytown, NY 10591) / DUPIXENT is a registered trademark of Sanofi Biotechnology / ©2018 Regeneron Pharmaceuticals, Inc. /sanofi-aventis U.S. LLC. All rights reserved. Issue Date: October 2018 US-DAD-14946

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Treatments to Try When you need a pharmaceutical assist, these are your options. D O N ’ T T R A C K P O L L E N A RO U N D.

When you enter your home, remove your shoes and change your clothes, says Nicoara (if you have a dog, wipe his paws). Wearing pollen-covered shoes and clothing inside will just spread the allergenic particles to surfaces in your home, especially upholstered furniture (which Nicoara recommends getting rid of altogether, by the way, if you suffer from seasonal sniffles). “Showering before bedtime can also help prevent your bedding from being exposed,” adds Dass. If you like to exercise outdoors, aim to do so in the morning or evening, since pollen counts tend to be highest in the middle of the day. Check your local level on Pollen.com. CHECK P OLLEN COUNTS.

“These are oral or nasal medications that decrease histamine-related symptoms, like sneezing, runny nose, and itchy eyes,” says Nicoara. There are the old-school antihistamines, like Benadryl, which are very effective in the short term (especially if you’re having a severe reaction to something you’re acutely allergic to) but can make you sleepy. Newer antihistamines—think Claritin or Allegra—don’t usually have that drowsy effect and last longer. Allegra in particular is not known to cause drowsiness and can be used safely even by pilots. But efficacy varies from person to person, and some of these newer antihistamines can take a while to kick in. A N T I H I S TA M I N E S .

These sprays are many docs’ favorite. They provide a more direct line of contact to the primary areas of inflammation: your nasal passages. “Nasal corticosteroids, like Flonase or Nasacort, are the most effective and potent drugs available to manage allergy symptoms. They are also most effective for stuffy and itchy noses and postnasal drip,” says Dass. Plus, side effects are rare and tend to be localized—as in a bit of irritation in the nasal passages. Some doctors like a combination: say, Zyrtec at night and Nasacort in the morning. Many allergy meds are safe to combine, but check with a doctor for the ideal and safest course of action. N A S A L C O RT I C O S T E RO I D S .

A N T I H I S TA M I N E E Y E D RO P S .

“These are great as an add-on therapy for itchy, red, and watery eyes,” says Axelrod. “Eye drops can be used as needed and can be very effective.” Look for drops labeled “antihistamine,” such as Visine-A. D E C O N G E S TA N T S . While you may

be tempted by the quick fix that decongestants—whether an oral one, like Sudafed, or a nasal spray, like Afrin—provide when you’re really stuffed up, they’re not a long-term solution and should be used carefully, if at all. Oral decongestants can be dangerous for those with high blood pressure, and nasal sprays can cause a rebound if used for more than three days in a row—the stuffiness comes back, often even worse. If you’re really stuffy and have to get on a flight, taking a nasal decongestant about 20 minutes before takeoff and landing (if it’s a longer flight) can help reduce your risk of a pressure headache and serious ear-popping, but don’t overdo it, and be sure to read the dosage directions.

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When to See a Doctor

Drug-Free Remedies As far as “natural” options go, a neti pot— a small teapot-like container for rinsing out nasal passages with slightly saline water—may be worth trying. “Nasal irrigation can help move mucus out of your sinuses,” says Dass. Neti pots can clear things out and reduce swelling. Just make sure you’re using distilled water, or boil (then cool) it first. Rinsing with untreated tap water can introduce—wait for it— dangerous amoebas into your system, which can be fatal. While these invaders are extremely rare, it’s not a risk you should really be taking. N A S A L I R R I G AT I O N .

Results aren’t guaranteed, but tweaks to your eating could reduce your allergy symptoms. “There have been very small studies that say a Mediterranean diet may decrease your chance of having asthma and allergies,” says Dass. “A diet high in antioxidants and omega-3 fatty acids may also help because it can reduce overall inflammation, a major trigger of allergy symptoms.” Same goes for eating to improve gut health. Focus on whole foods and don’t overdo it on anything inflammatory, like junk food and alcohol (not a bad idea anyway), says Purvi Parikh, MD, an allergist-immunologist with Allergy & Asthma Network. And for some people, dairy can make mucus feel thicker, so you could consider cutting back. A H E A LT H Y D I E T.

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Of course, if you’re really bothered by allergies—even after manically cleaning your home and trying over-the-counter meds—your best bet is to see a board-certified allergist-immunologist. If you’re not sure it’s worth seeing a specialist, the answer is a resounding yes if “your allergies are affecting your quality of life, causing fatigue, or causing irritability; if you’re having many sinus infections; or if you also have asthma or eczema,” says Dass. “As an allergist, I can help patients determine what exactly they are allergic to.” Those results point to a treatment plan. W H AT I S I M M U N O T H E R A P Y ?

That plan may include a course of allergy shots or under-the-tongue tablets, both of which are forms of immunotherapy (some physicians are also fans of sublingual drops, but there aren’t yet any FDAapproved options for seasonal allergies). “Immunotherapy has been around for a long time, and it’s really useful to people who don’t respond well to medications,” says Nicoara. “What we’re trying to do with immunotherapy is teach their immune system to tolerate allergens—often permanently.”

If you’re really bothered by allergies—even after cleaning your home and taking over-the-counter meds—your best bet is to see a board-certified allergist-immunologist.

A L L E RGY S H O T S . Shots consist of two phases. First, for three to six months, you visit your allergist once or twice a week to receive injections with increasing amounts of your allergens. Then you go into maintenance mode, in which you wait longer between injections— typically two to four weeks. At each visit, you’ll likely need to wait around for 20 to 30 minutes after your injections in case of an adverse reaction. And you may be in maintenance mode for up to a few years. But “over time, you will likely develop lasting tolerance to your allergens,” says Dass.

If getting weekly shots for up to several years sounds less than appealing, consider sublingual immunotherapy (also known as SLIT), in which you take tiny doses of allergens via an underthe-tongue tablet. You can do this at home, and there’s no sitting around in a waiting room afterward. But the tablets are currently available for treating only ragweed, grass pollen, and dust mites, so if your allergies go beyond those three triggers, shots may be a better bet. The time commitment may be daunting, but focus on the blissful, sniffle-free life that could lie ahead. TA B L E T S .

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not the job— there’s a reason career coaches say this. Who you report to has a huge impact on your growth, happiness, and success. And when you are a great boss, you’ll motivate your team to work hard, boost retention rates, and create a satisfying work environment. “Good bosses make everybody’s life better,” says Bonny Simi, president of JetBlue Technology Ventures. Leadership is a skill you can learn and practice; we asked bosses in a variety of fields to ID the habits the most ravedabout managers have in common. P I C K YO U R B O S S ,

They earn your trust.

11 Things the Best Bosses Do WA N T T O B E A B E T T E R L E A D E R ? C O P Y T H E S E Q UALITIE S, HABIT S, AND PL AIN-OLD G O OD P OLICIE S T H A T T O P M A N A G E R S L I V E B Y. By Kathleen M. Harris

Illustrations by Abbey Lossing

“Trust fuels the ability to give honest feedback, to have difficult conversations, and to partner together to build great things,” says Jennifer Hyman, cofounder and CEO of Rent the Runway. It’s a two-way street: While bosses need to trust their team to get the job done, they also have to prove they’ll make good on their word and act in the team’s best interest. “Your team will trust you if you do what you say you’re going to do,” says Joan Sullivan, CEO of Partnership for Los Angeles Schools. Being open and approachable and owning up to mistakes helps too. Say “I don’t know” when you lack answers—then go and find them.

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

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They understand you have a life. Learn a bit about everyone’s life outside the office. It can help you better understand their strengths and challenges and create new opportunities (the person on a charity board, for example, could be in charge of a community service project). Showing that you’re human is important, says Kerry Cooper, president of Rothy’s, a shoe company. Modeling positive behavior—taking your kids to visit the office, not sending late-night emails, accepting someone’s need for a mental health day—contributes to a happier, healthier work environment.

They listen, then act. Caron Pinkus, a high school principal in New York City, says the best boss she ever had took the time to hear multiple perspectives, then thoughtfully made a decision. “The ability to listen and then swiftly decide is something I have carried into my leadership style,” says Pinkus. Creating a collaborative energy can help you get more out of your team because they’ll feel that they have a voice and know that a great idea can come from anyone. Even if you disagree with a recommendation, make it clear that you heard what the person had to say and explain why you decided on a different path. “Teams need to feel engaged,” says Shannon King, senior vice president of partnerships for A&E Networks. “That comes from feeling like their contributions are meaningful.”

They celebrate small wins. 4

They help you find purpose in your work. A good leader reminds her team of the whys behind the work to keep them inspired, focused, and passionate. This is especially critical in entrepreneurship, says Hyman: “Focusing on our mission to empower women helps all the little stressful things feel way more manageable.” A strong vision can also help guide tough decisions. When a leader connects the day-to-day to a broader purpose, it becomes clearer what falls outside the line.

They are up-front about their quirks. The best bosses are self-aware and understand what it feels like to work for them, says Robert Sutton, PhD, author of Good Boss, Bad Boss. Then they share that insight. “Insecurity prevents us from being frank about these things,” says Sullivan. But when you are, it can head off miscommunication or misplaced anxiety. Maybe you keep your door shut because it helps you focus, not because you’re closed off. Share that info—and the best way to catch your attention. If you value efficiency and don’t like making small talk, let your employees know that. Your honesty will help when you interrupt a story about someone’s weekend to start a meeting.

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Just as important as having an eye on the big picture is showing appreciation for the tiny victories along the way. Taking a moment to toast a win, give a shoutout at a staff meeting, or commiserate after a grueling week can have a lasting effect. “I know firsthand that being a teacher is really hard work,” says Pinkus. “I’ve seen how just a thank-you from your boss on a hard day can go a long way.”

They build a team. A good hire goes beyond a résumé of accomplishments—think about how a new person will add to (or detract from) the whole. “Too many new managers forget the interpersonal part of putting teams together,” says King. And research shows that having diverse perspectives can positively impact both creative and financial performance. First decide what skills, personality type, or professional background may be missing from your team, then zero in on those qualities during the interview process. Sullivan assesses softer skills by asking about hopes, fears, and visions. Give small assignments that allow you to see the person in action.

They invest in you personally. More than two-thirds of recent college graduates stay at their first job for a year or less, according to one 2016 survey. If you want employees to stick around for a while, show them you recognize that their career path is bigger than this one role. “It’s the job of a boss to figure out how to support the professional growth of their employees inside and beyond the organization,” says Sullivan. Discover their unique strengths and play to them. Don’t assume you know what motivates each member of your team; ask. For some, it may be feeling that they’re making an impact. For others, it may be learning new things or being invited to meetings. Some may perform best when there’s time to prepare, while others shine when brainstorming on their feet; give both types of people a chance to succeed (for example, allow your team to share ideas through Google Docs before a meeting).

They start you off on the right foot.

They let go. Control: It’s a hard thing for a new manager to let go of. “You don’t accomplish the big stuff by micromanaging people,” says Joe McCannon, founder of the crowdfunding platform Shared Nation. If your team feels like you’re going to swoop in with your ideas, or if they don’t check their work because they assume you will, output (and attitudes) will suffer. “I struggled with learning how to delegate, but then you learn that sometimes other people are going to do better than you, and it’s a delightful realization,” says McCannon.

They solve problems with you.

Beginning any new job can be exciting and overwhelming. The best bosses discuss expectations and work styles from the start. “This is vital to ensuring someone’s success, and most people don’t put as much emphasis on it as they should,” says Sullivan. Learn about your new employee. Ask, “How do you like to get feedback?” “How should I contact you if I need you on short notice?” “Do you work better in a quiet environment or a collaborative one?” “What do you want out of your boss?” Share your preferences too. How do you like to be approached with questions? How often do you meet with your direct reports? “The biggest mistake people make is not taking the time to review communication styles,” says Sullivan. Also, discuss the culture of success, recommends Simi. Explain how you and the company measure success and what good performance means.

There’s a difference between micromanaging and stepping in when an employee is struggling. If an employee has hit a wall or has a big deadline approaching, ask what they need to get the work done and, most important, wait for their suggestions. “Employees should look to you not to fix a problem for them but to empower them to find the right solution,” says Sullivan. If an employee is really blocked, brainstorm together. If you know a task is tedious and requires extra focus, suggest a day to work from home. If they’re having trouble getting a sign-off from a client, make the phone call together. “A good boss will guide you and remove obstacles on your behalf,” says King.

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L o o k i n g Fo r wa rd

Make the New Tax Rules Work for You I T ’ S C O M P L I C AT E D. B U T O U R C H E AT S H E E T C A N MAKE SENSE OF THE BIGGEST SHIF TS. By Kate Rockwood

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and Jobs Act, which was passed in 2017 and affects tax year 2018, was the largest tax reform in the past 30 years. How it affects what you owe Uncle Sam depends on your situation. Take, for instance, something as straightforward as the standard deduction. Each year, taxpayers have the choice of either itemizing all their deductions— say, medical expenses, mortgage interest, and charitable giving—or opting for a standard deduction that knocks a flat amount off their taxable income. Last tax year, that deduction was $6,350 for single filers and $12,700 for married couples filing jointly. For 2018, it has nearly doubled, to $12,000 for single filers and $24,000 for married couples. “Last tax year, about 7 percent of people took the standard deduction, and this year TurboTax estimates about 90 percent will,” says Lisa GreeneLewis, a certified public accountant (CPA) and tax expert at TurboTax. Here are a few other highlights you need to know.

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If you have a side hustle or a small business…

Historically, one of the financial perks of owning a home has been the ability to write off mortgage interest and property taxes. The recent tax law puts new limits on this. Homeowners with new or modified mortgages can deduct interest only on loans of less than $750,000 (this change won’t impact taxpayers with existing home loans), and interest on home equity lines of credit can be written off only if the money was spent on home improvements. Plus, taxpayers who itemize deductions will find that they can’t deduct more than $10,000 in state and local taxes, including property, income, and/or sales taxes. Helena Swyter, a CPA and the founder of the firm SweeterCPA in Chicago, points out that “property taxes are typically based on the value of your home and not the amount of your mortgage, so those living in high-tax areas might feel the pinch even if they have little home debt.”

If you have kids… Previously, the child tax credit reduced taxes by $1,000 for each qualifying child, but that credit was phased out for couples with an adjusted gross income above $110,000 (or $75,000 for single filers). Now the child tax credit has doubled, to $2,000, and the income phaseout starts at $400,000 for married couples filing jointly ($200,000 for single filers). “If the credit reduces your taxes to zero, you may get some of the credit back as a tax refund,” says Swyter. Saving for a child’s or grandchild’s college tuition? You’re now allowed to pull money from a 529 plan to pay for up to $10,000 in private elementary and high school tuition. Check your specific 529 plan: You may even be able to deduct any contribution amount from your state taxes. Still, the biggest benefit of 529 plans is that the investments grow tax-free if they’re used for qualified education expenses, notes Eric Bronnenkant, a CPA and the head of tax investment at Betterment; you’ll reap the most bang for your tax-free buck if you let your investment sit.

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If you work for yourself, you may qualify for a deduction of up to 20 percent of your “pass-through” business income—earnings from your business reported on your personal tax return. The deduction applies to partnerships, limited liability companies (LLCs), S corporations, and sole proprietorships, the default entity status when you work for yourself. A single freelancer with no kids who earns $60,000 would owe nearly $3,000 less in taxes this year than she did last year, according to the Tax Policy Center. There’s fine print, says Swyter: Certain types of businesses may not qualify for this deduction, and if your business is structured as an S corporation, you have to be mindful to pay yourself a salary (which you can’t include in the deduction calculation). “If you prefer to do your taxes yourself, you could consider going to an accountant this year, then using that tax return as a template of sorts for future years,” she says.

If you give to charity… “With fewer people itemizing, fewer people will get the tax benefits of charitable contributions,” says Bronnenkant. Taxes aren’t the only reason you give, of course, but a bit of planning can ensure you still maximize the benefits. If you’re on the fence between itemizing and taking a standard deduction, consider a strategy called bunching. Rather than donating the same amount to your favorite nonprofit each year, write a supersize check one year (and itemize) and then skip the charitable contribution the following year. Or time that big check for a year when you’ll have higher deductions across the board, such as significant medical expenses. Another tax-smart strategy is to donate an appreciated asset (such as real estate, mutual funds, or publicly traded securities) directly to the charity. “Even if you’re well below the standard deduction, that donation can lead to tax savings on the gains avoided,” says Bronnenkant.

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M a k i n g I t Wo r k

How do you make mornings more manageable? By Jane Por ter

Allowing my children to do more ageappropriate tasks has been a big help. I have 7-year-old twins and a 5-yearold. My husband works full-time an hour and a half away from home, so mornings are tough. Last year, when the twins were just starting first grade, they had a chore chart. They had to brush their teeth, put on their clothes, and brush their hair. They got stickers when they did it all. In a few months they’ll be able to pour their own cereal, which will be one less thing to do.

GINGER ZEE, 38, ABC NE WS ME TEOROLO GIST IN NE W YORK CIT Y

ANNA MARKEL , 36, PHARMACIST IN HYL AND PARK , ILLINOIS

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I am not known for being the most organized guy in the world, but as I get older, I’m starting to realize that when I put myself first in the morning, it really prepares me for crazy days. Working out in the morning gives me a boost of extra energy. Over the years, I’ve figured out that there should be a proper order to my morning. One of the biggest temptations is to get out of order. If I wake up and start checking my email, I lose time and I’m not at my best.

TURHAN D OUGL AS, 49, WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL COACH IN MARINA DEL REY, CALIFORNIA

My calendar guides my life. Structuring my days starts on Sunday evening, when I look at the entire week and ask myself, “What preparation do I need to do for each of these days, and do I need to set aside extra time?” Every evening before bed, at around 9 o’clock, I check my calendar to see what’s happening the next day. I send reminder emails to people I’ll be meeting with to let them know I’ll be there. I decide what I’ll wear. I like to make absolutely sure I have everything I need ready when I walk out the door.

NORA DE HOYOS COMSTOCK, 73, FOUNDER OF L AS COMADRES PARA L AS AMERICAS, A NONPROFIT IN AUSTIN, TE XAS

I cut myself some slack in the morning. I have three children, who are 6, 4, and 2. I’ve accepted that sometimes my life is not going to be “manageable,” because having three little kids is stressful. We’ve never been early risers, so I don’t fight that. I don’t get up at 6 in the morning. I get up at around 8. I deal with things as they come and try to do them in parallel: I pour myself a cup of coffee while I make the lunches and the kids have breakfast.

NATALIA KOVRIJNYKH, 4 4, ECONOMIC S PROFESSOR IN PHOENIX

Illustration by Andrea Mongia

COURTESY OF SUB JECTS

I’ve learned that mornings are too frenetic to be balanced. Instead I try to be focused. I focus on each task in front of me and do the best I can at it. My day starts at 3:45 a.m. The shower has become my place of reflection. I take that time to think about what I’m thankful for and choose a goal for the day. I draw two little footprints on the glass wall for each of my sons because they are my everything. At 7 a.m. the show starts; during my break, when I’m not on-air, I try to FaceTime with my boys.

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Ahhh... Slowing your breathing rhythm can be a calm way to ease tension and quiet your mind. We can then be freer to have more inspired, creative thoughts. Inhale to the count of four (one thousand one, one thousand two, etc.) and then exhale to the same count of four. Feel your ribcage and belly gently expand as you inhale and soften as you exhale. Repeat four times. Now let go of the counting and allow yourself to breathe in the pace that feels good to you in this moment. As you are breathing, you might try saying to yourself, “My breath is free; my mind is free.” Notice the pace in which you move into the next moment and the rest of your day.

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MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

o ne g ro c e r y ru n & d one Your weekly shopping list now fits on a Post-it: Mix and match 15 ingredients, plus a few pantry staples, to make six irresistible dinners. RECIPES BY ANANDA EIDEL STEIN PHOTO GR APHS BY ANNA WILLIAMS

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Pasta with ParsleyAlmond Pesto and Fried Onions ACT I V E T I M E 1 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 3 5 M I N U T E S S E R V E S 4 TO 6

cup olive oil, plus more if needed 1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced into rounds 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided, plus more for cooking pasta 1 lb. short pasta, such as cavatappi 1

cups packed fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves and tender stems (from 1 bunch), sprigs reserved for another use 2 oz. Parmesan cheese, grated (about cup) cup roasted salted almonds

tsp. lemon zest plus 2 Tbsp. fresh juice (from 1 lemon) 1 clove garlic, smashed

oil and onion in a small skillet over medium-high. Cook, stirring often, until onion starts to darken around edges, about 2 minutes. Reduce heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Transfer onion to a paper-towel-lined plate and season with teaspoon salt. Transfer oil in skillet to a small heatproof bowl (adding more oil if needed to make cup). Set aside. COMBINE

pasta in a large pot of generously salted water according to package directions for al dente; drain, reserving 1 cup pasta water. COOK

parsley, cheese, almonds, lemon zest, lemon juice, and garlic in a food processor; pulse until finely chopped, 6 to 8 times. Add reserved onion oil, cup reserved pasta water, and remaining teaspoon salt to food processor. Process until smooth, about 30 seconds, adding more pasta water as needed to achieve desired consistency. Transfer pesto to a large bowl; add cooked pasta and toss to combine. Top with fried onions. COMBINE

FOOD ST YLING BY CHRIS L ANIER; PROP ST YLING BY AMY WIL SON

Sausage Pizza Subs ACT I V E T I M E 4 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 4 0 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

broiler with rack in upper third. Arrange sausages on a rimmed baking sheet; broil until golden and cooked through, 10 to 12 minutes, turning halfway through. PREHEAT

microwave vinegar in a large bowl on high for 1 minute. Stir in chard stems and crushed red pepper; set aside. MEANWHILE,

4 4-oz. sweet Italian sausages cup red wine vinegar 1 bunch Swiss chard, stems finely chopped, leaves torn, separated tsp. crushed red pepper 4 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped, divided 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 28-oz. can whole peeled tomatoes 1 baguette (about 16 in. long) 8 oz. fresh mozzarella cheese, torn

1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over medium. Add half the garlic; cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add chard leaves and teaspoon salt; cook, tossing, until leaves wilt, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer to a bowl. HEAT

skillet clean. Heat 2 tablespoons oil over medium-high. Add remaining garlic and cook, stirring, for 30 seconds. Add tomatoes and their juices, breaking them up with a wooden spoon. Add remaining teaspoon salt and simmer, stirring often, until thickened, 8 to 10 minutes. WIPE

baguette lengthwise (without cutting all the way through); drizzle cut sides with remaining 1 tablespoon oil. Broil cut side up on a baking sheet until lightly toasted, 1 to 2 minutes. Remove from oven. Top with tomato sauce, sausages, chard leaves, and cheese. Broil until cheese is melted and browned in spots, 2 to 3 minutes. Cut crosswise and serve with pickled chard stems. SPLIT

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103

Spiced Cod-andTomato Stew with Gremolata ACT I V E T I M E 4 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 4 0 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

2 Tbsp. olive oil, plus more for serving 1 yellow onion, chopped 1

tsp. kosher salt, divided 2 Tbsp. finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley stems (from about 10 sprigs), divided 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped, divided

tsp. ground coriander 1 tsp. paprika 1 28-oz. can whole peeled tomatoes, drained, liquid reserved

lb. skinless firm white fish fillets (such as cod or halibut), cut into 2-in. pieces Freshly ground black pepper

tsp. lemon zest (from 1 lemon)

oil in a large pot over mediumhigh. Add onion, teaspoon salt, 1 tablespoon parsley stems, and half the garlic; cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in coriander and paprika; cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Stir in reserved tomato liquid and simmer until mixture thickens slightly, about 4 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, teaspoon salt, and 1 cup water. Simmer over medium heat, partially covered, stirring occasionally and breaking up tomatoes with a wooden spoon, until flavors meld, 10 to 12 minutes. HEAT

fish with teaspoon salt and several grinds of pepper. Nestle fish into tomato mixture. Cook, covered, until fish is just cooked through, about 5 minutes. SEASON

for gremolata, mix lemon zest and remaining garlic, 1 tablespoon parsley stems, and teaspoon salt in a small bowl. MEANWHILE,

stew into bowls; top with gremolata and drizzle with oil. L ADLE

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Chicken Salad with Chard, Cabbage, and Pickled Onions ACT I V E T I M E 1 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 4 0 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

cup red wine vinegar tsp. granulated sugar 1

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 small red onion, thinly sliced 4 cloves garlic, grated 1 Tbsp. ground cumin cup plus 2 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper, divided 4 6-oz. bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs large head green cabbage, cored and chopped (3 cups) 1 bunch Swiss chard, stems removed, leaves torn into bite-size pieces (about 10 cups loosely packed)

broiler with rack in middle position. Microwave vinegar, sugar, and teaspoon salt in a large bowl on high until mixture is hot and sugar is dissolved, about 30 seconds. Stir in onion; set aside. PREHEAT

garlic, cumin, 2 tablespoons oil, and teaspoon each salt and pepper in a large bowl. Add chicken thighs and turn to coat; arrange skin side down on a rimmed baking sheet and broil for 10 minutes. MIX

MEANWHILE ,

add cabbage to onion mixture in bowl and toss to combine. Let soften while chicken finishes. thighs and continue broiling until golden brown and a thermometer inserted in thickest portion registers 165°F, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board, reserving drippings on baking sheet. Let chicken cool slightly, about 5 minutes. Slice chicken and skin away from bones; discard bones. FLIP

chard, sliced chicken, and baking sheet drippings to bowl with cabbage mixture. Add remaining cup oil, teaspoon salt, and teaspoon pepper and toss to combine. ADD

Roasted Cabbage and Olive-Oil-Fried Eggs with Spicy Almond Relish ACT I V E T I M E 1 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 4 5 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

large head green cabbage, cut into 8 wedges (core attached) 1

lb. red potatoes, halved (quartered if large) 9 Tbsp. olive oil, divided

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper, divided cup roasted salted almonds, chopped tsp. crushed red pepper 4 large eggs

oz. Parmesan cheese, grated (about 1 cup)

oven to 425°F. Arrange cabbage wedges and potatoes on 2 rimmed baking sheets. Drizzle each sheet with 2 tablespoons oil and gently turn and toss to coat. Season each sheet with teaspoon salt and teaspoon black pepper. Roast until bottoms of cabbage are browned and potatoes are tender, about 30 minutes. PREHEAT

mix almonds, crushed red pepper, 4 tablespoons oil, teaspoon salt, and teaspoon black pepper in a small bowl; set aside. MEANWHILE,

remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a large nonstick skillet over mediumhigh. Crack eggs into skillet; season with remaining teaspoon each salt and black pepper. Cook until whites are set and edges are crisp, about 2 minutes. HEAT

eggs on top of cabbage and potatoes. Top with spicy almond relish and cheese. SERVE

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SHOPPING LIST

□ 4 lemons □ 1 large bunch fresh flat-leaf parsley

Sausage and Beans in Broth with Seared Lemons

□ 2 bunches Swiss chard □ 1 large head green cabbage □ 1

ACT I V E T I M E 2 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 5 0 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

2 lemons, halved crosswise and seeded 1 Tbsp. olive oil 2 4-oz. sweet Italian sausages, casings removed 1 yellow onion, cut into 8 wedges 10 cloves garlic, peeled and left whole 1

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 Parmesan cheese rind (about 4 in. long) 4 sprigs fresh flat-leaf parsley, leaves and stems separated 1 15-oz. can cannellini or navy beans, drained and rinsed Freshly ground black pepper

lb. red potatoes

□ 1 lb. skinless firm white fish fillets, such as cod or halibut

a heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high. Place halved lemons cut side down in pot and cook, undisturbed, until browned, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove and set aside. Add oil and sausage to pot and cook, breaking up sausage with a spoon, until browned all over, 6 to 8 minutes. Transfer to a bowl using a slotted spoon. Reserve drippings in pot. HEAT

onion, garlic, and 1 teaspoon salt to pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until onion softens and garlic browns, about 3 minutes. Add Parmesan rind, parsley stems, and 4 cups water; bring to a boil. Partially cover pot and reduce heat to low; simmer, undisturbed, until flavors meld, 20 to 25 minutes. Discard Parmesan rind and parsley stems. ADD

beans, cooked sausage, and remaining teaspoon salt to pot; bring to a simmer over medium. Simmer until warmed through, about 5 minutes. Serve topped with pepper and parsley leaves with seared lemons for squeezing over. ADD

□ 4 6-oz. bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs □ 6 4-oz. sweet Italian sausages □ 4 large eggs □ 8-oz. piece Parmesan with rind □ 8 oz. fresh mozzarella □ 2 28-oz. cans whole peeled tomatoes □ 1 15-oz. can cannelini or navy beans □ 1 cup roasted salted almonds □ 1 baguette (about 16 in. long)

Th e Re al Simple

G R E AT N E I G H B O R AWA R D S I N O U R S E C O N D A N N U A L PA R T N E R S H I P W I T H N E X T D O O R , W E H O N O R E V E RY D AY H E R O E S W H O S T E P P E D U P FOR THEIR COMMUNITIES DURING TIMES OF CRISIS— O R W H E N T H E Y S I M P LY S A W A N E E D . BY ELIZ ABE TH HOLME S PHOTO GR APHS BY JEFF MINTON

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The Bike Fair y K AT H Y D O W N S

Orlando, Florida, learning to ride a bike is a childhood rite of passage. Bicycles are a path toward independence and wellness, as well as a vehicle, if you will, for communication. Downs, 57, and her two now-grown children used to talk through problems on rides together. “If you’re moving and you have to pay attention to what’s in front of you, kids feel a little freer to share,” says Downs. Which is why, about two years ago, Downs became the Bike Fairy, supplying bicycles to foster children. Her mission began in spring 2017, while she was volunteering, through the Legal Aid Society of the Orange County Bar Association, as an advocate for children who’ve experienced abuse, abandonment, and neglect. A 9-year-old girl had gone to live with her grandmother, and Downs, assigned as her advocate, noticed that the bicycle in their garage was beat up. She posted on Nextdoor, asking if anyone in her neighborhood had a bike they’d be willing to donate. To her surprise, six different people offered one up. Downs, an accounting and finance recruiter, recognized a bigger need. She placed those five extra bikes with other kids and offered to continue doing the service. The Legal Aid Society, which serves about 1,400 children monthly, started sending her requests. At the holidays, Downs hosted a bike drive, collecting and distributing roughly 200 bikes with helmets. “I had them in my dining room, I had them in my garage, in one of the bedrooms,” she says. Downs doesn’t decide who gets a bike; that’s up to the Legal Aid Society. She just makes sure that when there is a need, there is a bike. She estimates some 1,500 bikes have passed through her hands. Bethanie Barber, the society’s guardian ad litem program director, gave Downs her Bike Fairy nickname. “Because of Kathy, our dependent children know they are loved, know they are valued, know they are deserving of the very best,” she says. O K AT H Y D OW N S O F

Kathy Downs poses with some of the bikes she has on hand for children in foster care.

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Jorge Contreras plays with kids he coaches through his East Los Angeles Basketball Club.

The Coach

three years since Jorge Contreras started his youth basketball club, he hasn’t missed a practice. Back in May 2016, Contreras, now 44, a distribution supervisor overseeing dispersal of food, supplies, and equipment to 1,000 schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District, learned that neighborhood kids couldn’t afford local programs and were being turned away; children whose families could pay often only got to play three months out of the year. Contreras was teaching his sons, now ages 8 and 13, to play in a park and decided to start his own club. He posted about the first practice of the East Los Angeles Basketball Club on Nextdoor, inviting kids ages 5 to 14 to come play. Fifteen showed up to the first session, but word spread quickly, and the Garfield Senior High School gym was soon full. Some 280 boys and girls have been through the program

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N T H E N E A R LY

since it started, with as many as 60 enrolled at any given time. Practices are held twice a week, yearround. Contreras asks for $40 a month to cover the gym rentals. That’s a fraction of what many programs charge, but even so, some families can’t afford it. No one is turned away. “We scrape by and do whatever we can to keep the gym doors open,” he says. The club participates in basketball tournaments around Southern California about once a month. They don’t have the resources to stay in a hotel or pay for travel, so Contreras and other parents drive the kids to the tournament and back one day and again the next to keep competing. Victories are especially sweet. The position has its frustrations for Contreras, like when permits are not approved or gym doors are locked. “It would be really easy to walk away and quit,” he says. Then his phone starts buzzing with calls and texts from kids who want to play.

O P E N I N G S P R E A D : H A I R & M A K E U P B Y PA U L A A B R A H A M F O R Z E N O B I A A G E N C Y

JORGE CONTRER A S

ABOUT NEXTDOOR

The Mover SEAN BOREN

P H OTO G R A P H C O U RT E SY O F S U B J ECT

of thousands forced to flee last July as the horrific Carr Fire burned through his hometown of Redding, California, and the surrounding counties. Flames were nearing his mother’s home as they left; the sky was filled with smoke. “It was like Armageddon,” says Boren. The fire burned down the home across the street from his mother’s. It came even closer to his father’s house, scalding the deck and burning the fence. In total, eight people died and more than 229,000 acres and 1,000 residences were destroyed by the fire, which began when the rim of a car’s flat tire scraped asphalt and sent sparks flying. Boren, now a 19-year-old freshman at nearby Shasta College, went to stay with a family friend. A week passed before his family was allowed to return. And he couldn’t stop thinking about the near misses on both of his family homes. “It really showed me how quickly something can be taken away from you,” he says. “I didn’t want to sit back and watch other people do all the work.” Others in town were organizing food drives and helping first responders. Boren realized people needed labor, to move things from damaged homes into storage or new homes, or back into once-evacuated homes that survived the blaze. He rounded up his friends and launched TTASC: Trucks and Teens Assisting Shasta County. His mom, Lianne Richelieu-Boren, was instrumental in putting his idea into action. She posted about the effort on Nextdoor and Facebook, and soon requests for help came in. A GoFundMe campaign raised money for trucks and supplies. On some jobs, Boren had 10 or so friends helping; on others, turnout swelled to more than 40. When his first semester of college started, Boren and his group kept up their efforts on weekends. “A lot of people, when they’re younger like me, feel like since they’re young, they don’t have as much of a voice,” says Boren. “If you’re willing to work hard enough to do something, that’s all it takes.”

Nextdoor is a social media network for neighborhoods (190,000 and counting) across the country. Members use the site to buy and sell items, share recommendations (from plumbers to babysitters), organize events, and stay in the know about community happenings, among other things. Sign up at nextdoor.com.

E A N B OR E N WA S O N E

Sean Boren (front row, in sunglasses) with one of his volunteer moving crews.

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The Caretakers

C RY S TA L A N D PAT R I C K K R A S O N

Right: Barbara Bell’s son Elliott at about 7 months old. Below, from left: Patrick Krason, Crystal Krason, and Bell.

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she’d come to Virginia to live with her father. And she was pregnant, due in just a few months. In January 2018, Bell gave birth to her third son via C-section. The recovery was difficult. A few days after coming home from the hospital, she was in significant pain. She recalls her doctor checking her out and sending her home, but the next day she felt worse. On a Friday night, she called Crystal and told her how horrible she was feeling, saying she planned to go to the hospital on Monday. Crystal insisted she go to the hospital immediately. Patrick, 45, drove her there while his wife collected Bell’s three boys, newborn Elliott and his brothers, then ages 9 and 4. It was late, and the boys were already in their pajamas. “Your mom will be back tonight,” she told them. But Bell’s condition was worse than anybody realized—she spent five days in the hospital recovering from complications, she says. Meanwhile, the Krasons were caring for 9-day-old Elliott. The families video chatted, and Patrick made trips to pick up breast milk Bell pumped. Bell was released with a walker, making it impossible to live in her dad’s home, which had stairs. Instead she moved into the Krasons’ small apartment in an elevator building. Bell’s mom had come from out of town to take the older boys, while Bell and Elliott took over the Krasons’ daughter’s room. Bell stayed for roughly six weeks, until her doctor gave her the all clear to travel to her mom’s. Friends raised an eyebrow, says Crystal, 40, “but when somebody needs your help, you just help them.” Bell moved later that spring, but she and Crystal still talk several times a week. Bell, now 38, says the former neighbors are connected for life. “They stepped up when I had no one and nothing. I literally feel that I wouldn’t be here today if they weren’t in my life.”

P H OTO G R A P H S C O U RT E SY O F S U B J ECTS

stopped by the Krason home in suburban Washington, D.C., in late 2017, she was expecting to pick up a shoe rack she saw on Nextdoor and be on her way. But while making small talk, Patrick Krason, who had posted the ad, and Bell realized they had children around the same age. Patrick offered up pizza and a playdate with his two sons and daughter. “I was a little apprehensive,” says Crystal Krason, Patrick’s wife. “But next thing you know, Barbara came over with her sons, and the kids got along great.” Bell had been on the move for months: After leaving a violent relationship in the Northeast, she had moved west, only to be displaced by wildfires. Now H E N BA R BA R A B E L L

Community gardener Nadine Ford poses with a basket full of crops.

The Gardener NADINE FORD

gardening, a skill she learned from her parents and grandparents. Her mother’s mother was raised on a self-sustaining farm, and her father’s mother was an herbalist. But as she talked with friends and neighbors in Charlotte, North Carolina, she realized how unusual her green thumb was. “It blew my mind that people didn’t know how to grow simple foods,” she says. So when Ford, a senior environmental specialist for a county solid-waste department, came across a neglected community garden in the city’s Belmont neighborhood back in 2009, she asked if she could revive it as a teaching garden. Ford recruited other gardeners via Nextdoor to help build the 20 plots from scratch, soon attracting the interest of outside groups, like the county sheriff’s department, which began teaching horticulture to inmates. Three years ago, Ford was asked to start another community garden, in Druid Hills. She recruited a

HAIR & MAKEUP BY RHONDA MCGREGOR FOR ZENOBIA AGENCY

A D I N E F O R D, 5 6 , G R E W U P

friend to help manage it. Volunteers work on the gardens year-round: They put down seeds—from peanuts to okra—as early as February in greenhouses and begin growing in the ground come March. At the end of the season, they remove plants and do maintenance. From the start, Ford knew she wanted to give away the bounty. Ford has partnered with Friendship Trays, a local agency that delivers meals to seniors and people with disabilities. She has given produce to her neighbors and mentored young people, including pregnant teens, on the importance of nutrition. She sees her mission of getting healthy foods into the hands of her neighbors as something bigger. “If you don’t get good food in your body, then you’re going to get sick, which means you’ll miss work, which means you won’t get a paycheck, which means you can’t move up the economic ladder,” she says. Ford often cooks for family and friends. “They’re so amazed: ‘Oh my God, you grew this tomato?’ ” she says. Her response: “Yeah—you can too.”

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r u Yo g n ı r Sp s P MV THIS SEASON’S SUGGESTED ATTIRE: PRACTICAL AND PRETTY PIECES YOU’LL REACH FOR AGAIN AND AGAIN PA U L A K N I G H T P H O T O G R A P H S B Y ANDREW STINSON STYLING BY

F A S H I O N E D I T O R F L AV I A N U N E Z W R I T T E N B Y TA M A R A K R AU S

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A RT S & C R A F T S WHIMSICAL DETAILS LIKE EMBROIDERY, FRINGE, AND BEADING ADD A TOUCH OF CREATIVITY TO YOUR OUTFIT. PREVENT QUIRK OVERLOAD BY INCORPORATING THEM INTO AN OTHERWISE NEUTRAL OR MONOCHROMATIC LOOK.

TO BUY: (Opposite page)

Embellished tunic, $398; toryburch.com. Tassel Chandelier earrings, $36; chicos.com. Beaded Lemon pouch, $40; chicos.com. (This page) Knit Mohair-Blend sweater, $60, and Fringe skirt, $60; hm.com. Kate Trench coat, $150; levi.com. Acorn Leather Jolene Saddle bag, $328; michaelkors.com.

T E A - PA RT Y F LO R A L S THE TRADITIONAL PATTERN GETS A GROWN-UP MAKEOVER: UNDERSTATED, EARTHY BOTANICALS ARE SUBTLE ENOUGH TO WORK TOP TO BOTTOM ON A DRESS OR JUMPSUIT. OR JUST SPRINKLE A FEW BLOOMS INTO YOUR WARDROBE WITH A FLORALSLEEVED SHIRT OR A PAIR OF EARRINGS.

TO BUY: (Opposite page) Ninety-Six Pleated dress, $795;

H A I R B Y Y U K I K O TA J I M A ; M A K E U P B Y M O A N I L E E ; M A N I C U R E B Y S H I R L E Y C H E N G

us.zimmermannwear.com. Fabienne booties, $398; tory burch.com. (This page, clockwise from right) Flower and Crystal Door Knocker earrings, $65; jcrew.com. Floral Sleeves top, $395; rebeccataylor.com. Twill pants, $198; katespade.com. Charlotte satchel, $298; etienneaigner.com. Antonio Melani The Wallis jumpsuit, $179; dillards.com. Lillie Flower Heeled sandals, $138; anntaylor.com.

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U T I L I TA R I A N PAIR YOUR FAVORITE PREPPY OFFICE STAPLES WITH LAZY-WEEKEND KHAKI PIECES FOR A COOL BUT WORK-APPROPRIATE COMBO. TIE A BASIC CARGO JACKET OVER A SKIRT AND KNIT POLO, OR TOP AN A-LINE SKIRT WITH A FRESH, STRIPY TWIST ON A CLASSIC CARDIGAN TWIN SET.

TO BUY: (Opposite page) Slim-Fit Striped tee, $20; oldnavy

.com. SRPLS Cropped Navy Military jacket, $250, and SRPLS Green Cargo trousers, $90; zara.com. Mini Penelope Hoop earrings, $36; baublebar.com. Yoshi sandals, $560; pedro garcia.com. (This page, clockwise from top right) Sarto Franco Sarto A-Ronelle sandals, $119; dillards.com. Open Front Ottoman Stripe shell, $59, and Ottoman Stripe cardigan, $129; talbots.com. Chino Button Front skirt, $65; landsend .com. Seaside Pearl earrings, $185; lizziefortunato.com. Hunter’s Tote bag, $45; llbean.com. Sweater Polo top, $68; abercrombie.com. Kamille jacket, $495; equipmentfr.com. Logo Lace Pencil skirt, $448; toryburch.com. Tri-Stripe Lunchpail bag, $395; cestacollective.com.

WHITES WEAR THE OLD-SCHOOL NEUTRAL HEAD TO TOE FOR AN EASY, PUT-TOGETHER LOOK. INCORPORATE SHAPES AND TEXTURES, LIKE A RIBBED WRAP TOP OR STRUCTURED SLEEVES, TO MAKE SOLID OUTFITS ANYTHING BUT ONE-NOTE.

TO BUY: (This page, clockwise from top left) Linen topper, $158; eileenfisher.com. Pleat Linen pants, $345; theory.com. Crochet Bucket bag, $46; zara.com. Bib Tuxedo Linen shirt, $345; theory.com. Strappy Kitten Heel sandals, $175; cosstores.com. (Opposite page) Tech Poly Ribbed Sweater Halterneck Wrap top, $495, and Tech Poly Ribbed Sweater skirt, $595; tibi.com. Sullivan Crossbody bag, $158; macys.com. GrandPro Downtown Runner sneakers, $150; colehaan.com.

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HOW I CONQUERED MY

F E AR O F T H E FLEA With the help of treasure-hunting experts (and interior design superstars) Emily Henderson and Orlando Soria, here’s how one woman became a master of the market. BY N ATA L I A P ROVATA S PHOTO GR APHS BY AL ANNA HALE

my first apartment, I scoured design blogs and high-end retail stores, convinced I could conjure up the perfect combination of furniture and design elements that would say, “I am a grown woman who can make smart decisions that will impress other adult-type people but in an effortless, I-barely-thought-about-this-because-I’m-doingother-super-impressive-adult-things kind of way.” As it turns out, this combination eluded me. In fact, I learned that you can live with “furniture” made of cardboard boxes for close to a year before your friends start worrying about you. Still, everyone else seemed to have a styling superpower to create a space straight out of a West Elm catalog in a single bound. And whenever I’d ask people where they got their tasteful midcentury credenza or perfectly worn Moroccan rug, they’d answer with childlike glee, “The flea market!” W H E N I M OV E D I N T O

Novice flea market shopper Natalia Provatas (far left) learns the ropes from designers Orlando Soria and Emily Henderson.

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DESIGNING YO UR HOME, I C AME TO RE ALIZE, SHO ULD BE L E SS ABOUT IMPRESSING OTHERS WITH PERFECT CHOICES A N D M O R E A B O U T B E I N G C R E AT I V E A N D E X P E R I M E N T I N G — W H I C H THE FLE A MARKET IS ALL ABOUT TO O.

I had been to this so-called flea market, armed with a naive hope that was dashed after I spent fruitless hours riffling— dehydrated yet determined—through piles of musty antique books and racks of itchy vintage clothing, only to walk away with a tiny consolation succulent purchased out of self-pity. As I strapped the mini cactus into the back of the car, I felt a deep hopelessness. I would never have what it takes to find the treasures buried in the piles of used wares. I could have lived my life just fine never setting foot in the flea again, except for one undeniable truth: Flea markets can be an excellent option, in so many ways. They’re generally much more affordable than retail or antiques shops. They also offer lots of fun and unique vintage items that add a one-ofa-kind soulfulness to your space. Plus, you get major earth points: Buying used or vintage is good for the environment. So, armed with a decent budget of $500 and a humble shopping list that included a rug, a side table, and a pendant lamp, I set off for the famous Rose Bowl Flea Market in Pasadena, California (with 2,500 vendors and 20,000 guests each month, it’s one of the best-known fleas on the West Coast), to meet designers Emily Henderson and Orlando Soria—and to see, once and for all, if I could finally conquer my fear of the flea. If anyone has intimate knowledge of the flea market scene, it’s Henderson and Soria. They met in 2010 when Soria was

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cast as Henderson’s on-air assistant for her HGTV homemakeover show, Secrets from a Stylist. The two visited the Rose Bowl Flea every second Sunday of the month to find furniture and decor items to use on the show. It became a home away from home for the now longtime friends. “During the show, Orlando and I would show up with flashlights at 6 a.m.,” recalled Henderson. They were often shopping for several episodes at a time, with no production assistants on-site to help move and organize furniture. “We were moving sofas in the heat by ourselves while people around us were eating hot dogs,” added Soria. At first, they had a loose game plan, but eventually it became a Supermarket Sweep–style mad grab of items they knew they would find use for later. “Because everything at the flea is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity you will never see again,” said Henderson, “it was a hoarding mentality, but with a purpose.” For the most part, said Henderson, their impulse buys paid off: “Some were riskier than others, but generally clients were psyched to have a house full of personality.” Since the show wrapped in 2012, both Soria and Henderson have grown into successful brands in and of themselves. Henderson, who published the New York Times best-selling book Styled in 2015, runs a wildly popular design and renovation blog. Soria, whose 2018 book, Get It Together!, blends practical design advice with funny and honest personal anec-

dotes, will debut a new HGTV series later this year. On the show, Unspouse My House, he helps people redecorate their homes—and their hearts—after a breakup. Their independent design endeavors occupied so much of their time that they hadn’t been back to the flea market together in years. But thanks to my need for an interior intervention and to a little coordination from the editors at Real Simple, they scheduled a reunion for a sunny Sunday. As Henderson and Soria strolled through the gates of the Rose Bowl arm in arm, with their eager disciple (me) following closely behind, a million questions flooded through me. The most important being, What is the best strategy for keeping myself from getting overwhelmed and going full-on uglycry in the middle of all this mud cloth? “We usually walk the entire perimeter first, then start working our way inside,” Henderson instructed like an experienced general of a design army. OK, but what was I even looking for? I tend to get purchase paralysis, especially at the sight of unorganized piles of stuff, so I asked the experts where they begin when designing a room with items from the flea. “I usually start with the thing that is the biggest conversation piece,” said Henderson. She is all about getting weird: finding an object or interesting piece of furniture that will get people talking. Soria has a more practical, albeit somewhat abstract, approach: “Just make the first decision, no matter what it is, and then make every other decision after that.” Soria’s Zen-like guidance sounded good in theory, but as a newbie, I needed more specifics. “I always look for the big things first,” said Henderson. “But also look for everything at once,” added Soria with a laugh. I realized that I had been taking my furniture choices a little too seriously. Becoming one with the flea was a bit Buddhist: Everything is true, and also nothing is true.

Then I felt the small bulge in my wallet and snapped back to reality: With a budget of $500, how would I know I was getting the best price, short of Googling the item in front of the vendor? When was it appropriate to haggle? Henderson told me, more or less, to slow my roll: “I think haggling is a big misconception. Everybody here is really fairly priced and just trying to support their lives and their families.” It’s not against the rules, to be sure, but Henderson suggested that light haggling is most useful if you’re buying, say, four plates instead of just one—ask for 10 percent off if you buy multiples. “It’s really about what you want to pay for it,” said Soria. It turns out that your relationship with vendors is almost as important as the vendors’ relationship to the things they are selling. “I think that vendors want to sell to someone they know will appreciate it. So knowing that it’s in my care and that I’ll use it in a way that is beautiful definitely helps my cause,” said Henderson. Haggling is certainly not for the faint of heart, but it can help the small of budget. As I got more comfortable and confident at the flea, my general rule became trying to shave off at least $5 from the original asking price. It’s a small enough number to get the seller to agree, more often than not, and it does make a difference. My first score of the day was a Danish glass pendant light that I purchased for 40 bucks, 20 percent off the marked price. That was soon followed by a one-of-a-kind vintage planter, which Henderson said could work as its given occupation or just as a sculpture, for $70 (original price: $85). I rounded out my string of purchase hits with a beautiful midcentury chair in need of reupholstering at the bargain rate of $35. Our somewhat futile quest for a side table (it seemed that the more we looked for one, the fewer options we found, per flea market law) brought us to Ken Blackburn. Blackburn calls himself the Shade-Tree Trader because of his position under

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a large tree at the Rose Bowl: prime real estate in the often blistering heat of Pasadena. Blackburn has been selling at flea markets for only seven years, a baby compared with many of the old-timers. As luck would have it, Henderson was one of his first customers. Blackburn is known mostly for the artwork he carries: beautiful original pieces that often have large brushstrokes and lush colors. And Henderson urges that if you go to the flea market for only one thing, make it art. Original artwork is hard to come by and can be expensive. But at the flea, you can find affordable pieces that will add color and personality to any room. “When you pick out a piece of art, it really tells a person a lot about you. Art is personal,” said Blackburn. Before we left his booth, I bought a painting, and he gave Henderson a free piece that made him think of her. I’d done it: successfully shopped the flea without totally freaking out. The more I thought about it, I realized that my flea anxiety hadn’t really been irrational at all—it had been ingrained in me from childhood. As long as I could remember, my grandmother had owned a living room set—one I can only assume was carefully saved for—that was covered in plastic, flanked by a moat of even thicker plastic carpet runners, and carefully untouched by anyone who either lived in or visited her home. To my grandmother, these hard-won items were sacred. This wasn’t just a living room; it was the embodiment of something greater: wealth, even permanence. This obsession with treating furniture like museum installations was passed down to my mother. When I was in high school and had outgrown my twin bed with a heart-shaped headboard, my mother took me to the Sears showroom to pick out a new, more ageappropriate bedroom set. “This is going to be your furniture well after you graduate from college, so make sure it’s the right one,” she said. My mother treated the purchase more like a marriage proposal than a simple act of redecorating. Flea markets are the opposite of my family’s approach to design. They are chaotic, filled with one-of-a-kind purchases that may not always work just right in every space you ever live in—things that could be gone in an instant. Once I could free myself from the idea that these purchases were a lifelong commitment, when I allowed myself to stray off my shopping list and trust my gut, I actually started having, well, fun. Designing your home, I came to realize, should be less about impressing others with perfect choices and more about being creative and experimenting—which the flea market is all about too. Even expert designers like Henderson and Soria still find joy in experimentation. They don’t worry too much about making mistakes—in fact, it’s their MO. “We are creative people, so we see our houses as our place to play,” said Soria. “You can’t rule your life with fear, because even if you make the wrong decision, it won’t ruin your life.” With Soria’s wise words in mind, I packed my tiny Honda with my one-of-a-kind flea market treasures and drove off into the Pasadena sunset.

FLEA MARKET QUICK TIPS S C O R E A D E A L O N A RU G. The trick to finding a rug that won’t eat up your whole budget is searching for a vendor who isn’t a rug dealer specifically but who has a rug among a bunch of other items. A rug dealer specializes in rare or imported carpets, while someone else may just collect random household decor. Henderson and Soria were skeptical that I could find a rug within my budget, but we eventually met a woman who was selling gorgeous brand-new rugs—for $50 each. W H E N I N D O U BT, M A K E I T A B O O K H AT. The flea is filled with cool sculptures, wooden bowls, and miniatures that don’t have a specific use. If you come across a unique item that you know will add a special touch to your space but you aren’t sure what to do with it, consider placing it on a pile of coffee-table books on a shelf or tabletop. “Otherwise, those books are sad and naked,” says Henderson.

T R E AT P L A N T S L I K E F LO W E R S . “People are OK with spending a ton of money on flowers but then get weirded out when they have to replace a plant. It’s OK if one dies on you,” says Soria. The flea can be a great place to buy plants because you can often get large foliage and unique succulents for a small fraction of their price at a nursery, which is helpful if your thumb is a shade darker than green. D ON’T CHASE TRENDS, CHA SE RE AL MATERIAL S. Stick with natural woods, fabrics, and pottery to maintain a timeless look, Henderson and Soria say. I T’ S A L L A B O U T S H A P E . The flea is filled with hidden gems that are easy to miss if you get distracted by strange paint colors or bad upholstery. “Always look for shape over anything else,” says Henderson. “A red credenza can be refinished, but you can never change its shape.” With that in mind, we found a midcentury chair with “good bones,” as Henderson noted. It was just in need of a little reupholstering.

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In like a lion, out like a lamb? Depending on where you live, this month can feel more in like a lion, out like a really hungry lion who hasn’t eaten in days. To tame cats of all kinds, try one of these ideas: Fast-track dinner with one of our favorite pasta sauces (page 136) or make crunchy pork cutlets the whole pride will devour (page 131). When all else fails, whip up a batch of whipped cream (page 138). A dollop makes just about anything better. Purr.

Photograph by Greg DuPree

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FOOD

Easy Dinner 1

Steak salad with blue cheese, hazelnuts, and pears ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 15 MINUTES

SERVES 4

✓ Quick Cooking ✓ Gluten-Free

1 lb. flank steak (1 in. thick) 1

tsp. kosher salt, divided tsp. black pepper, divided cup plus 1 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar 1 tsp. Dijon mustard 5 oz. baby arugula (about 6 cups) 1 ripe pear, thinly sliced cup chopped toasted hazelnuts 1 oz. blue cheese, sliced or crumbled (about cup)

steak with 1 teaspoon salt and teaspoon pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over high. Cook steak, turning once, until browned on both sides, 5 minutes per side for medium. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest for 5 minutes before slicing. together vinegar, mustard, and remaining cup oil, teaspoon salt, and teaspoon pepper in a large bowl. Add arugula, pear, and steak and toss to coat. Top with hazelnuts and blue cheese. STIR

P E R S E RV I N G : 436 CALORIES, 32G FAT (7G SAT.), 77MG CHOL., 3G FIBER, 29G PRO., 10G CARB., 920MG SOD., 5G SUGAR

Recipes by Julia Levy Photographs by Greg DuPree

F O O D ST Y L I N G BY TO R I E C OX ; P R O P ST Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

SEASON

eggs in a shallow dish. Mix panko and cheese in a separate shallow dish. Working with 1 cutlet at a time, dip into eggs and turn to coat, letting excess drip off. Dredge cutlets in panko mixture, pressing to adhere. Transfer to a baking sheet. PL ACE

2 tablespoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over mediumhigh. Add as many cutlets as will comfortably fit and cook until golden on both sides, 1 to 2 minutes per side; transfer to a wire rack set over a rimmed baking sheet. Repeat with 2 tablespoons oil and remaining cutlets. HEAT

Easy Dinner 2

lb. pork tenderloin, cut into -in.-thick medallions (about 15 slices)

tsp. kosher salt, divided tsp. black pepper, divided 2 large eggs, lightly beaten

Pork Milanese with blistered tomatoes and green beans ACTIVE TIME 40 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 40 MINUTES SERVES 4

✓ Family Friendly

cups panko

oz. Parmesan cheese, grated (about cup) 8 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 12 oz. green beans, trimmed 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced 2 pints cherry tomatoes cup fresh basil leaves

1 pork slice at a time between 2 pieces of plastic wrap. Pound with a meat mallet or heavy skillet to about inch thick. Repeat with remaining pork. Season pork on both sides with teaspoon each salt and pepper. PL ACE

MEANWHILE, heat 1 tablespoon oil in a separate skillet over medium-high. Add green beans and teaspoon salt; cook, tossing, until tender, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a plate. Add remaining 3 tablespoons oil to skillet. Reduce heat to medium and add garlic. Cook, stirring often, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add tomatoes and cook, stirring occasionally, until they burst, about 5 minutes. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until thickened, 5 to 7 minutes; stir in basil and remaining teaspoon salt and teaspoon pepper. Serve cutlets with green beans. Top with tomatoes. P E R S E RV I N G : 599 CALORIES, 35G FAT (7G SAT.), 174MG CHOL ., 5G FIBER, 40G PRO., 32G CARB., 1,029MG SOD., 7G SUGAR

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

131

1 lemon 1 shallot, finely chopped 2 tsp. poppy seeds 1 tsp. honey cup plus 1 Tbsp. olive oil, divided

Easy Dinner 3

Crispy arctic char with fennelcarrot salad ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 20 MINUTES SERVES 4

✓ Quick Cooking ✓ Healthy Pick ✓ Gluten-Free

1 tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 tsp. black pepper, divided 1 fennel bulb, shaved 1 large carrot, peeled and shaved into long strips cup packed fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves 4 6-oz. skin-on arctic char fillets, patted dry CUT off and discard ends of lemon. Stand lemon upright on a work surface; slice 4 perpendicular pieces from around the lemon core, making 4 lemon “cheeks” and leaving behind a square lemon core. Finely chop lemon cheeks, including peel

and pith; transfer to a small bowl. Squeeze juice from lemon core into bowl. Add shallot, poppy seeds, honey, cup oil, and teaspoon each salt and pepper; stir to combine. Transfer 3 tablespoons of the lemon dressing to a medium bowl; add fennel, carrot, and parsley leaves and toss to coat. fish fillets with remaining teaspoon each salt and pepper. Heat remaining 1 tablespoon oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high. Add fish, skin side down, and cook until bottoms are browned and crisp, about 5 minutes. Flip and cook for about 2 more minutes for medium. Serve fish skin side up, drizzled with remaining dressing. Serve with fennel salad. SEASON

P E R S E RV I N G : 468 CALORIES, 30G FAT (4G SAT.), 107MG CHOL., 3G FIBER, 40G PRO., 9G CARB., 605MG SOD., 5G SUGAR

CO OK WITH COZI Get Real SimpleÕs easy weeknight-dinner recipes in Cozi, a free meal-planning and organizing app from Meredith Corporation (available on iTunes and Google Play).

FOOD

cup fresh lemon juice (from 1 large lemon) 1

tsp. ground cumin

tsp. paprika 6 Tbsp. plus 1 tsp. olive oil, divided 5 cloves garlic, finely chopped, divided

cup couscous

Easy Dinner 4

cup toasted sliced almonds 1

Chicken skewers with almond couscous and kale ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 40 MINUTES SERVES 4

✓ Family Friendly

lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1 -in. pieces

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 8-oz. bunch lacinato kale

STIR together lemon juice, cumin, paprika, 5 tablespoons oil, and two-thirds of the garlic in a large bowl; reserve 2 tablespoons in a small bowl and set aside. Add chicken to large bowl; toss to coat. Marinate at room temperature, tossing occasionally, for 15 minutes.

heat 1 tablespoon oil in a small pot over mediumhigh. Cook couscous with remaining garlic, stirring often, until fragrant, about 1 minute. MEANWHILE,

Add cup water and bring to a boil. Remove from heat; cover and let stand until liquid is absorbed and couscous is tender, about 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork; stir in almonds and teaspoon salt. a grill pan over mediumhigh. Thread marinated chicken onto 4 8-inch skewers; season with 1 teaspoon salt. (Discard marinade.) Grill skewers, turning often, until chicken is lightly charred and cooked through, 8 to 12 minutes. Transfer to a plate. HEAT

MIX kale with remaining 1 teaspoon oil in a large bowl. Add to grill pan and cook, turning once, until charred, about 30 seconds per side. Transfer to a cutting board. Remove and discard kale stems; cut leaves into large pieces. Toss kale with reserved lemon juice mixture and remaining teaspoon salt in a bowl. Serve with skewers and couscous. P E R S E RV I N G : 558 CALORIES, 30G FAT (4G SAT.), 103MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 40G PRO., 33G CARB., 926MG SOD., 2G SUGAR

MARCH 2019 RE AL SIMPLE

133

FOOD

Easy Dinner 5

Mujadara with yogurt and herbs ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

✓ Quick Cooking ✓ Healthy Pick ✓ Freezable ✓ Make Ahead ✓ Vegetarian ✓ Gluten-Free

4 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 2 yellow onions, chopped 1 tsp. ground cumin 1 tsp. ground coriander cup basmati rice 1 cup vegetable broth or water 1

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 15-oz. can lentils, rinsed and drained cup fresh cilantro leaves, torn cup fresh mint leaves, torn

Tbsp. plus 2 tsp. sherry or red wine vinegar, divided 12 oz. baby gem lettuce, leaves separated tsp. black pepper cup plain whole-milk yogurt

HEAT 2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium. Add onions and cook, covered, stirring occasionally, until deeply browned, 12 to 14 minutes. Add cumin and coriander and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add rice and cook, stirring constantly, for 1 minute. Add broth and teaspoon salt; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low; cover and simmer until liquid is absorbed and rice is tender, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in lentils, cilantro, mint, 1 tablespoons vinegar, 1 tablespoon oil, and teaspoon salt.

lettuce with pepper and remaining 1 tablespoon oil, 2 teaspoons vinegar, and teaspoon salt. Top lentil mixture with yogurt. Serve with salad. TOS S

P E R S E RV I N G : 546 CALORIES, 17G FAT (3G SAT.), 4MG CHOL ., 9G FIBER, 26G PRO., 72G CARB., 896MG SOD., 11G SUGAR

134 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Eggland’s Best is the egg good enough for your family. It’s natural to want to give your family the best. So why give them eggs that are ordinary? Truth is, Eggland’s Best eggs are superior. They have more of the delicious, farm-fresh taste you and your family love—any way you cook them. Plus, 6 times more vitamin D, 10 times more vitamin E, and 25% less saturated fat than ordinary eggs. So why settle for just any eggs when you can give them the best? Eggland’s Best.

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FOOD

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136 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

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FOOD

Make It Yourself A D E L I C I O U S E SS E N T I A L T H AT’ S B E T T E R H O M E M A D E T H A N S T O R E - B O U G H T. W E ’ L L P RO V E I T. THIS MONTH: WHIPPED CREAM By D awn Perr y

ACTIVE TIME 4 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 4 MINUTES MAKES 3 CUPS

2 cups heavy cream (preferably organic) 2–3 Tbsp. powdered sugar (depending on how sweet you like it) tsp. pure vanilla extract (optional) cream, powdered sugar, and vanilla, if using, in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat on medium until cream holds soft peaks, about 4 minutes (watch carefully, as all mixers and pints of cream are not created equal). Whipped cream can be made up to 2 hours ahead.

F O O D ST Y L I N G BY TO R I E C OX ; P R O P ST Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

COMBINE

until ready to use. Stir gently with a spatula before serving. REFRIGERATE

We found that organic cream whipped lighter and fluffier and tasted purer than conventional cream. Check labels and choose cartons that contain only cream (some have added stabilizers, like carrageenan).

138 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Photograph by Greg DuPree

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140 RE AL SIMPLE MARCH 2019

Illustration by Joel Holland

A banking experience you’ll actually enjoy. Surprising, right? Welcome to Capital One Cafés, inviting places with people here to help you, not sell you. Stop by a location to handle your everyday banking needs or go online to learn more. Welcome to Banking Reimagined.®

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Keep the pack together. Vacations are better with the whole family on board.