0218 LChaim

FEBRUARY 2018

JEWISH FAMILY SERVICE

CENTENNIAL: Celebrating 100 years of Service

PLUS: AT THE MOVIES: 28th Annual SD Jewish Film Fest

SENIOR LIFE Visiting Israel

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

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contents

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February 2018 • www.lchaimmagazine.com

COVER STORY

Jewish Family Service Centennial - 100 Years of Service........................................................

1000 WORDS Hillel of SD's Campus Superstar is unlike any talent show you've seen........................

ISRAEL IDF prepares for its new high-tech home in southern Israel’s ‘Silicon Wadi’................

SENIORS

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A SENIOR MOMENT

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18 20 22

First Love Forever: Rafael Mareyna celebrates his passion for painting.......................

When immigrating to Isarel is a senior moment..........................................................................

From Nursing Home To Stay At Home:

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Jewish Organizations Try To Shift Senior Living..........................................................................

FOOD Michael Solomonov's Feta Borekas......................................................................................................

FEATURES San Diego Jewish Film Fest......................................................................................................................

Your Love Questions, Answered! Q&A matchmaker Judith Gottesman......................

Touching History..............................................................................................................................................

COLUMNS

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JewishMom.com..........................................

Torah: Of the Book..................................

Humor: Mazel & Mishagoss..................

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alanna Maya CREATIVE DIRECTOR Laurie Miller

FETA BOREKAS

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26 28 30

My Comic Relief.........................................

PUBLISHERS Diane Benaroya & Laurie Miller

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JEWISH FILM FEST

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO, LLC (858) 776-0550 San Diego, CA 92127

ART DEPARTMENT lauriem@lchaimmagazine.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: calendar@lchaimmagazine.com

EDITORIAL editor@lchaimmagazine.com ADVERTISING dianeb@lchaimmagazine.com

CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS info@lchaimmagazine.com

SUBSCRIBE ONLINE: www.lchaimmagazine.com/shop

CONTRIBUTORS Daniel Bortz, Donald H. Harrison, Stephanie Lewis, Salomon Maya, Mimi Pollack, Sharon Rapoport, Eva Trieger, Deborah Vietor, Chana Jenny Weisberg

ADVERTISING & SALES Diane Benaroya (dianeb@lchaimmagazine.com), Sharon Buchsbaum (sharonbux@gmail.com) 4

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

Copyright ©2018 L’Chaim San Diego LLC. All rights reserved.

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BY SALOMON MAYA l RANDOM RANTS

my

comic relief The Feel Good News Network

W

e live in a grim world. Flooded by stories ranging from mass shootings to mass suicides to shootings at a mass, our society has a constant reminder of how dark the human species can be. And now with the advent of social media, our eyeballs are now reminded constantly about lighting a candle for this victim or praying for another.

What ever happened to good news? What ever happened to “hey it’s not as bad as you think.” Recently I was personally reminded to take life, and the celebration of it, a little more seriously. On January 2, 2018 my father took a nasty spill at home which resulted in a couple week hospital/rehab stay. Fortunately, he is now well and at home recuperating but the long hours of seeing countless sick people at local hospitals and nursing facilities made me realize that … well, Salomon … you got it pretty good.

So, to start off 2018 with a literal bang, I decided to write about some feel-good stories I found in my research, hopefully to remind everyone reading this to live each precious moment to the fullest.

On January 12, 2018 high school wrestler Cedric Lehky celebrated an undefeated season with hands held high. For Lehky’s teammates, the young wrestler accomplished this feat not just because of his amazing abilities on the wrestling mat, but also due to the teamwork exhibited by him and his fellow classmates. Now one might ask, what makes this a feel-good story? Well Cedric has Down Syndrome. And through it all, 6

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

completed something that had his opposing team applauding him at the end, a flawless season. Cedric’s mother stated Cedric’s accomplishments “give hope to any other parent with special needs [children]. He does everything that everyone else would do, and I just never had any expectations that [weren’t] well exceeded, and it’s beyond amazing.”

Oak Grove, California sits nestled next to state highway 26 just outside of Stockton, California. Within the city limits lives someone who proudly can state that he holds the Assist Foundation’s world record for being the youngest person to proficiently play the highest number of musical instruments.

At the age of 12, Neil Nayyar can proficiently play 44 musical instruments including standards like the trumpet, drums, bass, flute and the harp. Yet “standard” really doesn’t pertain much to young Nayyar as he can also play instruments like the bulla tarang and the shehnai, that without a quick Google search, this writer would have absolutely no clue as to what they look or sound like. Now I ask, my glorious reader, test yourself with your musical knowledge and quickly name 15 musical instruments. C’mon do it. You can’t huh? Now imagine being able to play 44 of them.

You’ve seen Keanu Reeves play some heroic characters on the big screen. From flying high in the sci-fi fave The Matrix and Neo to bumbling idiot Ted Theodor Logan in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Reeves has had both on and off screen economic success.

Now with Hollywood multi-millionaires

settling sexual abuse cases left and right, Reeves has quietly been putting his money right in the pockets of children with cancer.

Yup, looks like in the cesspool that is tinseltown, angels do exist. Keanu has set up a foundation benefiting children suffering with cancer due to his own sister being diagnosed with leukemia recently. Yet it doesn’t stop there. Reports find that Reeves purchased Harley-Davidson motorcycles for all stunt people who worked on The Matrix. Keanu has agreed to take pay cuts when doing a movie, so the studio can hire a big-name actor to play alongside him (reportedly doing this for The Devils Advocate, allowing studio to hire Al Pacino). And this is probably the tip of the iceberg as Reeves is notorious for keeping a philanthropic low profile.

And that’s it for the start of 2018 feel good stories. I’m sure there are a ton more that I could not even get to. But how about this, I will leave it as homework for all of you.

Yes, I’m talking to you, the one looking at Instagram pics of an ex, or twitter rants from a certain delusional world leader. Or even questioning a close friend's Facebook update status. Leave those be! Dedicate a little time in your day to avoiding the minutia that has become our world and inundateyour mind with something that might make you, heaven forbid, feel good.

SALOMON MAYA IS A LOCAL ACTOR AND PLAYWRIGHT. FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER @SALOMAYA OR EMAIL HIM AT SALOMONM@LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM.

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TORAH l BY RABBI DANIEL BORTZ

of

the book The Hidden Good "WHEN ONE TRULY SENSES A DIVINE FORCE BEHIND THE NATURAL EVENTS WE SEE, WHY SHOULD GOD HIDE HIS PRESENCE ANYMORE TO THEM?"

T

he night of February 28 and the day of March 1 is the 2,374 celebration of the holiday of Purim, one of the happiest days of the Jewish year. We hear the Megillah story, have a feast, give gifts to the poor and food packages to friends, dress up in costumes, and eat Hamantaschen.

Like any Jewish holiday, these Mitzvot and customs are not only cute ritual, they contain deeply powerful symbolism.

When the prophetess Queen Esther decided to write down the events leading up to the holiday of Purim, she chose to leave out a very important aspect of the story: G-d. The secret meaning here is connected to the timing of the holiday. Purim happened during exile, one of the last holidays ever recorded. A Divine presence was beginning to become more hidden from Jewish minds and hearts. By excluding G-d’s name – His revealed presence in the world – from her Megillah, Esther was teaching us that even in the darkest times of our lives where events seem to have no deeper purpose, that there is a loving, guiding presence orchestrating it all for our ultimate benefit.

Hamantaschen may get its name from the

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

three-cornered hat of the wicked Haman, but it has a deeper meaning. It’s a cookie with a hard outer section and a sweet filling partially hidden inside. The message of Purim is that every event that may seem hard and bitter on the surface – has an inner sweet reason behind it.

Costumes are fun for all ages. (I never dress up, maybe this is the year?) They can hide the identity of the wearers who are able to move around and act without being called out by name and identified, just like the Divine influence on events during Purim.

The Mystics point out a powerful lesson from the hidden identity of costumes: What happens when a friend recognizes – with certainty – the person wearing the mask?

There’s no more need to hide their identity.

The game’s up. When one truly senses a Divine force behind the natural events we see, why should God hide His presence anymore to them?

This explains the numerous miraculous events performed for the righteous, those who have reached a level of consciousness where they sense without a doubt that there is a Divine presence at work. For these

select people – and each of us according to our level – there is less and less of a need for concealment. A bending of nature will not come as a shock for one on that level of awareness. The only reason for this painful game of hide and go seek that God plays is in order to give us the free choice to choose between good and bad on our own without influence.

As we celebrate Purim and hear the Megillah story, let’s try to look at all of our Jewish history, and the history of our own lives - from the incredibly high to the desperately low points and back again, as one very long Megillah scroll. From near destruction to complete redemption, our personal stories and the story of our people will end where they are meant to: “For the Jews there was light and joy, gladness and honor” (Esther 8:16).

RABBI DANIEL BORTZ IS THE DIRECTOR OF JTEEN SAN DIEGO, JTEENSD.COM. TO WATCH HIS UNIQUE VIDEOS, VISIT RABBIBORTZ.COM.

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L’CHAIM l BY DEBORAH VIETOR

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

L’CHAIM

A THOUSAND

WORDS SPOTLIGHT ON CAMPUS TALENT

F

ollowing sold out shows in 2015 and 2016, Campus SuperStar, one of the most talked about community events in San Diego, returns March 18 to The Auditorium at The Scripps Research Institute in La Jolla. Hosted by Hillel of San Diego, this unique program will feature eight collegiate vocalists competing for a $5,000 cash prize at the “Broadway-esque” finale.

Emcee for the evening will be non other than L’CHAIM Magazine’s own Salomon Maya.

After completing a month of auditions, seven of the finalists will be selected by professional judges. New this year, fans will vote online to select the eighth and last finalist prior to the show. At the finale in March, the eight finalists will perform their song — which can range from opera to pop to country — with a live band in a full theatrical performance. At the event, judges, utilizing criteria including quality of vocals, stage presence and presentation, will narrow the field down to three. The audience will then select the next Campus SuperStar!

The exciting and exhilarating night showcases the dynamism and diversity of San Diego’s next generation, in support of Hillel’s work at four universities across the region. The organization serves as an anchor to support Jewish students in enhancing their overall college experience.

“Hillel of San Diego is dedicated to inspiring every college student to make an enduring commitment to Jewish life, learning, and Israel through our centers at UCSD, San Diego State, USD and Cal State San Marcos,” commented Rabbi David Singer, Executive Director of UC San Diego Hillel. “Hillel welcomes thousands of students into the community each year.”

Rabbi Singer’s dedication and enthusiasm to both Hillel and the students is contagious.

After learning about all of the opportunities on campus, this writer recalled from her own college experience how vital Hillel is as an organization has been in drawing Jewish students together.

“Campus SuperStar is a thrilling night that showcases the best of Hillel, bringing together hundreds of community members in celebration of our mission, as well as recognizing the contributions to Hillel and the Jewish community of the evening’s honorees: Robert Lapidus, Robin Madaffer and Jackie Tolley,” added Singer.

Any full time college student in San Diego County is welcome to audition for Campus SuperStar. After the finalists are chosen, Campus SuperStar Musical Director Cris O’Bryon coaches each of them to obtain the best possible results and elevate them individually. With more than 20 years of experience on stage and behind the scenes as director, accompanist, teacher, actor and voiceover artist, Cris O’Bryon works with each student to uncover their unique voice and allow them to step into the spotlight.

In addition, Cris O’Bryon also brings the show together acting as director and producing the “American Idol” type atmosphere. Working alongside Cris during the show, emcee Salomon Maya will bring his own unique flair to the evening. In addition to being a regular writing contributor to L’CHAIM Magazine, Salomon Maya has hundreds of acting credits in shows around San Diego, as well as films and commercials.

He has also performed as a stand-up comedian at The Comedy Store in La Jolla and Hollywood.

Check it out

campussuperstarsd.org

“Every year, the numerous elements of the show — the performances, the recognition of the honorees, the live voting – have come together flawlessly, thanks to Cris O’Bryon.

Having Salomon as emcee will just make the event that much more enjoyable this year,” concluded Singer.

Torrey Pines Marketing, a local marketing firm, manages the event. From recruiting students to managing auditions and marketing ticket sales, Torrey Pines Marketing has been integral in every aspect of the event and helped create the past two sold-out, smashing successes. Led by President Troy Morrison and EVP, Shaun Copans, Torrey Pines Marketing helps clients stand out in unique and creative ways through events, sponsorship leverage, content development (white papers, e-books, blogs, etc.) and the creation of new marketing strategies.

CAMPUS SUPERSTAR 2018 IS BEING CHAIRED BY DAN AND ALISON GARDENSWARTZ AND PRESENTED BY CARLETON MANAGEMENT. LIMITED TICKETS REMAIN AND ARE AVAILABLE ONLINE. SPONSORSHIPS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE. AS A SPONSOR, YOU CAN BE PART OF ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING AND TALKED ABOUT EVENTS OF THE YEAR. TO BECOME A SPONSOR, OR LEARN MORE, CONTACT AMY HART, THE LORI BOLOTIN DIRECTOR OF DEVELOPMENT, AT (858) 550-1792.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

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IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT ALZHEIMER’S Help turn that vision into reality at the second-annual Alzheimer’s San Diego Visionary Circle Luncheon & Auction.

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COVER STORY l BY ALANNA MAYA

JEWISH T FAMILY SERVICE CENTENNIAL 100 Years of Service

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

his year, Jewish Family Service of San Diego turns exactly 100 years old. That’s a long life for an organization that has made helping others its mission since its founding in 1918. Then known as the “Jolly Sixteen” the young Jewish women who joined together to create the organization were committed to making a difference in people’s lives “These women united four Jewish women’s groups — Hebrew Sisterhood, Jolly Sewing Circle, Junior Charity League, and the Ladies Hebrew Aid Society — to become Federated Jewish Charities, now known as Jewish Family Service of San Diego,” historian Joellyn Zollman said. Zollman worked with JFS this year to learn more about the history and early missions as part of a larger centennial celebration and project. She is also the curator of “Celebrate San Diego! The History and Heritage of San Diego’s Jewish Community” at the San Diego History Center in Balboa Park. “[When the Jolly Sixteen first got together to form what we now know as JFS] this was a time when women’s roles were drastically different than they are today,

COVER STORY

which makes the work that these founding sisters did — essentially knocking on doors and Nili are the and asking for Gil money —Peretz that much more owners and founders of Positive remarkable.”

Chutzpah International.

Rose Neumann, the agency’s founder and first volunteer director, served the organization from 1918 until 1946, forever shaping the Jewish community. A tireless advocate for refugees, she personally went to Tijuana on more than one occasion to look for Jews who were thought to have landed there while fleeing European countries during World War II. Many were stuck on the other side of the border, unable to enter the U.S., but Neumann saw a population that needed food, clothing, water and shelter, so she “did what she had to do,” said Zollman.

In historical documents and letters, Neumann’s travel and work to help the refugee population was well documented.

This and other artifacts from the organization’s rich history, including annual reports and official correspondence will be on display in some fashion by the end of the year, though Zollman says she is not sure about final details or whether they will be available to the public.

Many of the agencies original programs — providing food, emergency shelter, senior adult programming, counseling services, and housing and employment assistance programs, are ongoing today, though in a much larger context. The Hand Up Food Pantry, for example, feeds thousands each year while giving teens a place to volunteer and create meaningful experiences during a crucial time in their lives. JFS has also turned its parking lot into a safe place for homeless families and children with no place to go at night, something that Board Chair Marie Rafferty says is near and dear to her heart as a mother.

“The work [here] is important because we are not just helping one person, we are helping the entire family through our services,” she said. “Our goal [through our programs] is really to help people break free of [whatever cycle] that brought them to us, through case management and counseling programs.”

A 1949 annual report still touted by the agency today reads “We are looking to the future of Jewish Social Service in San Diego with enthusiasm and vigor, and we know that in 1950 all of these yesterdays and todays will become bright tomorrows.”

Indeed, with Jewish Family Service’s programs, tomorrow already looks brighter.

This year’s Heart & Soul Gala will celebrate the agency’s centennial, and will be held on Saturday, April 21,at the Hyatt Regency La Jolla at Aventine. The organization’s biggest annual fundraising event will honor eight women who represent the strong females of the agency’s past, present and future, including Inge Feinswog, Kira Finkenberg, Lois Richmond, Marsha Berkson, Jill Spitzer, Jenny Daniel, Estee Einhorn, and Evelyn Rady.

WHETHER HELPING NEW IMMIGRANTS FIND SHELTER, OR PROVIDING FAMILIES IN NEED WITH COUNSELING, FOOD OR A PLACE TO STAY, JFS TRULY EMBODIES THE MEANING OF TIKKUN OLAM, TODAY SERVING MORE THAN 350,000 CLIENTS IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY EACH YEAR. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT JFS OR THE CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION, INCLUDING THE HEART & SOUL GALA, VISIT JFSSD.ORG.

RADY FAMILY FOUNDATION PLEDGES UP TO $20M TO JEWISH FAMILY SERVICE

At the official kickoff event for Jewish Family Service’s centennial Celebration in January, it was announced that the Rady Family Foundation will donate up to $20 million to Jewish Family Service of San Diego, including as much as $17 million in one-to-one matching funds.

The pledge is part of Jewish Family Service’s $37 million centennial fundraising campaign.

“We are deeply committed to the long-term sustainability of Jewish Family Service because of the critical role it plays in the lives of tens of thousands of people of all faiths and backgrounds across San Diego County – and we challenge the community to join us in supporting this vital resource long into the future,” Ernest and Evelyn Rady said in a press release.

The matching challenge will remain in effect until the goal is realized or the end of the campaign in November 2020.

“During our 100th year, we honor the agency’s history and notable accomplishments, but our main focus is on the next 100 years of service and how we can empower more San Diegans to overcome challenges, set goals, and build more stable, secure, and connected lives,” said JFS CEO Michael Hopkins. “We are incredibly grateful to the Radys for their significant and longtime support of JFS, including Evelyn’s 15 years as JFS’s head of counseling and this generous matching donation.

The community has begun to rally in support of the campaign.”

To date, the fundraising campaign has already raised $19 million.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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FEATURE STORY l BY YAAKOV LAPPIN | jns.org

Nir Bergman

Israel's New

High Tech Home

IDF PREPARES FOR ITS NEW HOME IN SOU T HERN ISRAEL' S "SIL ICON WADI"

T

he IDF is gearing up for a major relocation to southern Israel, where it plans to create new environs replete with academia and high-tech firms, and to give a significant boost to the Be’er Sheva area.

By 2023, the IDF plans to set up a sprawling campus in Be’er Sheva — known as the ‘capital of the Negev’ — which will house technological units, the Israeli Air Force (IAF) and the headquarters of the military’s Southern Command, which is responsible for dealing with threats from the Gaza Strip.

The military will also build a second new campus for the intelligence community, 16

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

and a new large-scale training complex. In total, the relocation will cost some 22 billion shekels ($6.44 billion), and will involve 35,000 soldiers and officers.

“We are following the vision of [Israel’s first Prime Minister David] Ben-Gurion. We are moving the best people to the Negev,” said Lt.-Col. Itai Sagi, who heads the branch responsible for establishing the IDF’s C4i (command, control, communications, computers, and intelligence) and Cyber Defense campus. “Next to me are the university and tech companies, with their own labs. We are creating a very significant ecosystem.”

Sagi said that “the first bulldozers will be

on the ground in 2019. This is a national maneuver. It’s not something the military is doing alone.” The Israeli Defense Ministry has set up a Southern Relocation Administration to manage the entire program.

The new technological campus will house cutting-edge IT data centers, which will form the backbone of the IDF’s digital combat network. It will also concentrate elite cyber units into one complex.

But beyond benefits to the military world, the move south has social and national significance, according to Sagi. He said the campus’s proximity to Be’er Sheva’s BenGurion University of the Negev, and to the city’s main train station, means that “soldiers

FEATURE STORY

who finish their day can cross the street to the university and study for their degree.

That’s something we encourage.”

The IDF campus will also be a situated near the Gav Yam high-tech park, which will encourage new cooperation between the military and the private sector. The giant state-owned company Rafael Advanced Defense Systems is reportedly planning on moving into the area.

The ongoing effort to transform southern Israel into a technology hub has been described as “Silicon Wadi.” A three-way synergy between the private sector, the university and the IDF will presumably put Be’er Sheva on the map of competitive technological development, the military believes.

“Our people will head south, some [career soldiers] with families. Their partners will need jobs, and the families will create the need for kindergartens and schools. The IDF supports the idea of taking career soldiers and providing them with homes, jobs and economic assistance. We are moving a whole population to the south. All will benefit,” Sagi stated.

Enlisted soldiers will serve there too, becoming potential future employees of the nearby high-tech firms. Under this vision, the companies adjacent to the military campus can end up hiring expert IDF computer programmers and engineers. “These are the brightest minds. The companies will want to be close to them,” Sagi said.

During their military service, the personnel will enjoy modern facilities, complete with smartphone applications that direct them to the right locations, compared to the aging and somewhat crumbling British-mandate era military complexes they currently work in — like the Tzrifin Base south of Tel Aviv.

“We haven’t set up bases for dozens of years,” said Sagi. “This is something that happens once every few decades. If I was only moving my office south, I wouldn’t

accomplish much. We are also changing our approach, our organizational structure, and working practices.”

As other units take up security and base maintenance duties, the technological units will be free to fully focus on their main tasks for the first time.

Prof. Brig.-Gen. (ret.) Jacob Bortman, of Ben-Gurion University’s Department of Mechanical Engineering, is heading up his institution’s preparations for the IDF’s new campus.

Bortman, who served for a long period in the IAF, joined the academic world nine years ago.

“The whole senior forum of the university understands that the move by military technological units southwards is also a big opportunity for the university, and for the south,” he said.

The university has been working with the defense establishment to prepare for the military’s arrival in Be’er Sheva. Its steps so far include providing academic accreditation for military personnel and recognizing the IDF’s technological courses, thereby speeding up their entry into the university system.

Dozens of IDF courses have been accepted by Ben-Gurion University as academic courses.

A second step involves creating personal networking links between academic experts and their IDF counterparts. They then proceed to jointly develop technologies such as as electronic warfare systems and cyber warfare tools.

“Our aspiration is that each of the IDF experts will have their own desk and chair at the university. We will profit, because of their expertise, and the military will have a secure environment for its research,” Bortman said.

Professors have started meeting their counterparts in the C4i Branch, the Military Intelligence Directorate and the IAF. The university also waived tuition fees for IDF graduates of elite military study programs, creating a significant incentive for

"The new technological campus will house cuttingedge IT data centers, which will form the backbone of the IDF’s digital combat network.

It will also concentrate elite cyber units into one complex.” them to become students there.

“We want to move ahead, with the help of quality people, and to contribute to the defense establishment and the country,” Bortman said.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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SENIORS

First Love

FOREVER

BY MIMI POLLACK

F

or some people, your first love or passion can be hard to forget.

This passion may be related to love or work. In the case of widower, Rafael [Fallo] Mareyna, he had two first loves which were painting, something he left and came back to many years later, and his late wife, Dora. Mareyna and Dora were married and devoted to each other for 66 years until her untimely death last year. Today, he takes solace in his painting and at the age of 87, it keeps him going every day.

Mareyna, nicknamed Fallo [pronounced FAYO], was born in the state of Veracruz in 1930. His parents were Polish Jews who arrived in Mexico in 1924. They moved to Mexico City a few years later as times were hard and they were struggling immigrants.

As a young boy, he attracted his teacher’s attention with his natural ability to draw. He began to paint with oil and continued painting for the next 15 years or so, exhibiting in different galleries in Mexico City, Monterrey and he even had a show in New York City while he was in high school. He studied with Bardasano, a Spanish artist known for his classical paintings. He also studied under the renowned Canadian born, Jewish Mexican painter, Arnold Belkin, who later became a good friend.

However, it is difficult to make a living as an artist and as was the social norm for Jews in Mexico at that time, he decided to follow a more traditional path, especially after he married the love of his life, Dora [Dorita] Sorokin. They had two children, and he needed to provide for his family, so he left art to pursue a more lucrative career, using his degree in accounting.

For almost 30 years, he provided very well for his family. He first worked at a family owned business that produced bed frames. In 1963, he teamed up with a German Jewish refugee , Luis Rosenfeld, and together, they opened up one of the first private stock brokerages in Mexico, Bursamex, S.A. Rosenfeld was much older and after his passing, Mareyna became the sole owner. Bursamex was very successful and when Mareyna decided to retire in 1992, he sold it for a handsome profit.

He did not paint for all those years, so his art was put on the back burner. However, he still retained his bohemian heart and befriended

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many of the local artists in Mexico. His daughter, Becky Guttin, recalls many a night when she was growing up where her house was alive with all those artists and bohemians, exchanging ideas and showing off their work.

She grew up among those friends that he socialized with and inherited her father’s love of art.

Guttin later went on to become a successful artist herself as an adult and her father then delighted in her world. In fact, she was also the conduit for helping her father rekindle his old passion.

In 1998, Mareyna and his family moved to San Diego to begin a new chapter in life, and he began to feel pangs for the passion he had left behind. In 2005, his daughter invited him to come and work with her in her workshop. Not only that, unbeknownst to him and much to his surprise and delight, she had kept all of his old art furniture, including his easel, so he was able to dive right back in.

In addition, she later rented the space next door to her workshop on Miramar Rd, and now, they each have their own workshop side by side. Mareyna’s workshop is chock full of his paintings and creations. He has had several exhibits over the last few years and has a new one coming up this spring. His art keeps him going both mentally and physically. Having a good sense of humor helps, too.

Finally, along with art and family, he also identifies strongly as a Jew. He has not forgotten the struggles his parents went through or the anti-Semitism he felt as a child in school in Mexico. He is a strong supporter of both the ADL and AIPAC and donates to them on a regular basis as well as to the Red Cross, especially when there are natural disasters. One of his proudest moments was in 2017 when he became an American citizen.

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19

SENIORS

A SENIOR MOMENT When Immigrating to Israel is a Senior Moment

BY DEBORAH FINEBLUM | JNS.ORG

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

SENIORS

British immigrants to Israel Karen and Brian Simpson celebrate Israeli Independence Day at Tel Nof Airbase.

PHOTO COURTESY KAREN SIMSPON

F

or some retirees, it can come down to choosing to spend their golden years overlooking the Mediterranean instead of a golf course in Boca Raton. For others, it’s a matter of following the kids — or more to the point, the grandkids — to Israel, or the fulfillment of a lifelong dream to live in the Jewish state. But whatever the motivation, empty nesters are now the second-largest group immigrating to Israel today.

Yet as fulfilling as it can be to make Israel their new home, it’s not unheard of for retirees who make aliyah to face a series of challenges. These challenges take a formula of strategy, planning, humility and patience to conquer. And a sense of humor? It certainly doesn’t hurt.

“We’ve learned to be flexible and open to new ways of doing things,” says Karen Simpson, who along with her husband Brian and their terrier made aliyah to the central Israeli city of Rehovot from Manchester, England. “Building a new life takes time and a willingness to change — we eat a lot more fruits and vegetables than we did in England, for instance. It’s healthier and part of Israeli life that you begin to appreciate.”

But if you are a North American looking to move to Israel, your first stop is typically the Nefesh B’Nefesh agency — to learn about the where, how and when of aliyah planning. The application has recently been streamlined, so you can expect to move through it fairly easily. You’ll also pay a modest fee ($65 or $120 for a couple or family) and have a face-to-face meeting with a representative of The Jewish Agency for Israel.

It is recommended that you complete your application six to eight months prior to your projected aliyah date.

Among the most important early decisions you’ll need to make is locale. Older olim (immigrants to Israel) tend to focus on how best to access markets, banks, medical services and public transportation (especially if they don’t expect to own a car). The experts also recommend that olim initially rent a home or apartment, postponing a purchase until they’re convinced that a specific community is the best fit.

Finding the right community is key, says Galia Berry, a Los Angeles native who made aliyah with her husband Joe and three children in 1983, only to return to the U.S. six years later. Now they have been back in Israel since last March and are much happier in their new home: a small village in Israel’s north.

Last year, the Berrys took a pilot trip from south to north, something that’s recommended by those in the know. They fell in love with Moreshet community, 30 minutes northeast of Haifa. Though technically old enough to retire — he’s 69 and she’s 60 — they’ve decided to keep working to afford to build a home. They’ve left much behind — four married kids and 16 grandchildren — but Galia says they are “very happy we made this move at this time in our lives. Here we have an amazingly supportive community with friends of all ages.”

Skype, WhatsApp and other means of communication now make it possible to maintain relationships with kids and grandkids even thousands of miles away. “Skype allows us to stay close,” says Simpson, whose two children and grandson

remain in England. “You learn to be family in a different way and, at the same time, your Israeli friends become family.”

For 60-somethings Margie and David Hamm, moving from Brooklyn to Jerusalem’s Ramot Bet neighborhood more than a year ago means “I no longer have to pay airfare to see my grandchildren,” she says. Now that their son and family have also moved to Israel (their daughter preceded them by 12 years), all 10 grandchildren ages 8 months to 21 years are now in Israel.

“My husband had to talk me into moving here but now I love it here,” Margie says. “And we certainly do get more requests for babysitting.”

But even those with children and grandchildren in Israel — creating a natural magnetic pull — still need to consider the best spot in the Jewish state for them to live. Some, finding themselves with the time to enjoy cultural offerings, will prefer the Jerusalem or Tel Aviv areas, whereas others will opt for a quiet country life.

“Seventy is the new 60,” says Miriam Naiman, a post-aliyah advisor for Nefesh B’Nefesh. “So, whether married or single, even with kids here, they need a life of their own.”

Indeed, community makes new olim feel at home, which is the impetus behind a Nefesh B’Nefesh Facebook page dubbed “English Speaking Olim 50+” as well as other programs.

One new aliyah-focused group operating through the Orthodox Union (OU) reaches singles 60-75.

“Coming to Israel alone, I know how important it is to form a social network,” says Chana Spivack, who made aliyah from Florida in 2011. A volunteer coordinator at the OU Israel Center, Spivack organized the new group, which attracted 60 singles to its first event last week.

The best advice for new olim is to never give up, says LiAmi Lawrence, 54, who made aliyah in 2014 from Los Angeles and now runs Keepolim.org to help immigrants meet various challenges.

“You need a backbone to live here,” says Lawrence. “Whatever happens, you need to believe, ‘Israel is an amazing place. It’s where I want to be and I will make it work.’”

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21

SENIORS

From Nursing Home to Stay at Home Jewish organizations try to change the landscape

BY MICHELE ALPERIN | jns.org

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or many Jewish organizations, it has become clear that older adults are happier if they can live independently and “age in place,” in their own homes rather than in nursing homes.

“It has been a longstanding priority of Jewish federations and affiliated agencies to encourage aging in place, the feeling being that when older adults age in place, as distinct from being in an institution, they are able to live healthier and fuller lives,” says William Daroff, senior vice president of public policy and director of the Washington Office of the Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA).

It is also more cost-effective to age in place because medical costs skyrocket for seniors who move to nursing homes or other facilities, Daroff explains.

Social isolation is a concern of aging in many living situations, whether an elderly person is living alone or is no longer part of his or her community of choice. One initiative addressing this problem is the Naturally Occurring Retirement Communities (NORC) program, based on the JDC-ESHEL program, which has been working with the elderly in Israel since 1969.

A group of Jewish federations started NORCs in response to a federal initiative to develop replicable models to deal with the coming increase in the senior population. While neighborhoods and apartment buildings transition from younger families with children to a preponderance of residents in their 70s and 80s, seniors begin to need outside help to stay in their homes.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

“The idea behind NORCs is rather than remove them from that building or neighborhood, you bring the services to them,” says Daroff.

Karen Berry-Elbert manages St. Louis NORC, which launched in 2002 in a neighborhood with 4,300 total residents, including 1,300 who were 65 and older. The NORC’s two foundational premises are socialization and health and wellness. Reflecting research that says socializing is one of the keys to good health, all NORC bus trips into the community end with a meal together.

“If your mood is good, if you are engaged with people and in activities, you are going to feel good and there is some causal relation between your emotional health and your physical health,” Berry-Elbert says. To ensure that its non-driving members make it to programs, the NORC received funding for taxis to give them rides.

Programs to support health and wellness include health education, fitness classes, JCC membership discounts, walking groups, and safety modifications in people’s homes. The NORC also makes home visits to residents, performs general case management, and holds monthly blood pressure screenings and nurse consultations. Minor home repair, computer assistance, and yard work are taken care of by volunteers that the NORC recruits and trains.

After five years of the St. Louis NORC’s existence, research suggested that only 2.03 percent of NORC residents versus 4.5 percent of Missouri residents moved into nursing homes, and they did so at an average age of 87, contrasted with 82.6 nationally.

A different, larger-scale model of providing similar types of services is the 42-year-old CJE SeniorLife in Chicago, which today serves 19,000 seniors, 17,500 of whom are receiving services in their homes. CJE runs a 19-bus transportation system to take people to medical appointments, shopping, social activities, and educational programs.

CJE delivers nutritional meals to seniors, and its Center for Community Living runs community-based programs on health and fitness as well as “positive aging”—finding the next interest in one’s life.

Some unique and experimental programs have also been launched by CJE. Five months ago, in conjunction with the Consumer Electronics Association and organizations

SENIORS

serving seniors in New York, Baltimore, and San Diego, CJE started a virtual senior center, which involves placing a large Skypedriven touch screen in people’s homes, where they can access about 75 programs per month, each with a real-time facilitator.

Together with GH Health, CJE has developed exercise protocols for people with osteoporosis, diabetes, and Parkinson’s disease who are individually coached, with the goal of stabilizing or improving their conditions.

A third innovative program, funded by a federal grant, provides post-discharge support to reduce re-hospitalization of Medicare patients, which currently occurs at a rate of about 40 percent. Problems for such patients include not eating once they are home, the inability to get to the doctor, or confusion about medications.

A serious challenge faced by organizations like CJE, says its president and CEO Mark Weiner, is that community-based services are not big revenue producers.

Furthermore, those are often the first services to be dropped from state budgets, even though they are a low-cost alternative to institutionalization. To balance these losses, CJE also has a nursing home and

independent living housing, which generate revenue, Weiner says.

Another approach to supporting aging in place is that of the two multipurpose senior centers that Sheila Moore runs for Jewish Family Service of Los Angeles. She sees the centers as a safety net that provides services to individuals and connects them to other services in the wider community.

In partnership with the city’s department of aging, the centers provide case management, nutrition, and transportation services to assist seniors in purchasing resources that can help them stay in their homes.

“If you are isolated or don’t have funds to purchase services and change your functioning, you are really at risk for the next level of care,” Moore says.

On a national level, JFNA is lobbying for services that support aging in place. The Jewish community, says Daroff, has a larger percentage of adults 65 and older than the general population—24 percent versus 18 percent.

“As a result, aging services are high on our communal agenda,” he says.

In recent years, Rachel Goldberg, director of aging policy for B’nai B’rith International, has seen some movement on a federal level

and in insurance policies that are “starting to reflect what people want”—which is to stay in their homes, whether an owned residence or a rental. Previously, funding for seniors who started having trouble with daily activities like bathing, dressing, or walking only applied to institutional settings. But Medicaid has introduced a state-federal partnership that is allowing states to experiment with different ideas to subsidize long-term senior care services for those who wish to age in place.

Within Medicaid is an initiative called Money Follows the Person, meaning that the dollars follow someone out of an institutional setting to receiving care at home. But one of the problems the initiative has encountered is a lack of sufficient affordable housing.

“For lower-income people, the idea of aging in place only works if there is a suitable home for you to live in,” says Janel Doughten, associate director of the Center for Senior Services at B’nai B’rith International.

The apartments B’nai B’rith provides to low-income seniors in partnership with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development are designed to meet the needs of seniors. A service coordinator works for each apartment building. “They are specifically there to help residents reach out and obtain services in their home,” Doughten says. This often involves helping them navigate the “maze of programs they are eligible for, services they might need, and providers,” adds Goldberg.

Each building also has a volunteer board that raises money for activities and funds to subsidize housekeeping, to keep residents living longer and in their apartments.

The only real limits to aging in place, suggests Doughten, are dementia or extremely debilitating terminal illnesses.

“It’s not an age thing,” she says. “We have people celebrating their 100th birthday and living independently.”

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

23

FOOD l

RECIPES

Michael Solomonov's Feta Borekas The OPTIONS Speaker and James Beard Foundation award-winner shares his favorite Israeli food.

BOREKA DOUGH

Makes 3 pastry sheets (roughly 10 to 15 inches each); 1 sheet makes about 8 borekas 6 ½ cups all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons kosher salt ¼ cup white vinegar 2 ⅓ cups seltzer water 3 ¾ sticks (15 ounces) butter, softened • Combine the flour, salt, and vinegar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low while adding the seltzer in a slow, steady stream.

Continue mixing until the dough begins to pull away from the sides and bottom of the mixer, about 2 minutes.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

• Flour a work surface and knead the dough by hand just until it feels smooth and homogenous, about a minute. Cover with a clean cotton cloth and let rest for 30 minutes.

• Working with a floured rolling pin, roll the dough out to a rough ¼-inch-thick rectangle with a long side facing you. (It should be at least 20 by 15 inches.) Spread half the butter evenly across the middle third of the dough rectangle. Fold the left third of the dough over the butter, then fold the right third over the left third (they’ll overlap). Fold the top and bottom edges toward the center the same way, forming a square. Wrap tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

• Flour a work surface. Orient the dough square so that it’s turned 90 degrees from the first time you folded it (that is, with the folded ends on the sides). Roll the chilled dough out to a ¼-inch-thickrectangle (again, about 20 by 15 inches).

Spread the rest of the butter evenly across the middle third of the rectangle. Fold the sides over the butter, and fold the top and bottom toward the center, forming a square. Wrap tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

• Flour a work surface. Orient the dough square so that it’s turned 90 degrees from the last fold and roll the chilled dough out to a ¼-inch-thick rectangle. Repeat

FOOD

the folding process, folding the sides into the center and then folding the top and bottom toward the center to make a square. (This time, don’t add more butter.) Wrap tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

• The next day, divide the dough into 3 pieces and freeze for later use; or, roll each piece into a 10-by-15-inch sheet to use in recipes. Make sure to keep the dough cold at all times (Except when you’re working with it).

• Filled borekas can be frozen before baking. In that case, put them directly in a preheated 425ºF oven; don’t thaw them first.

• Don’t refrigerate baked borekas. They’ll keep at room temperature for 2 days.

Reheat in 325ºF oven for 5 minutes.

Boreka Dough from Zahav, ©2015 by Michael Solomonov and Steven Cook. Reproduced by permission of Rux Martin Books/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. All rights reserved.

FETA BOREKAS

Makes 8 Borekas 2 large eggs 2 ½ cups crumbled feta 1 sheet Boreka dough or store-bought puff pastry 2 tablespoons poppy seeds 2 tablespoons sesame seeds • In a mixing bowl, beat one of the eggs and add the feta. Stir well to combine.

• Place the cold sheet of boreka dough on a floured work surface. Cut the dough into 8 (4-inch) squares. Spoon about 2 heaping tablespoons of the feta filling onto one half of a square, leaving about an ½-inch border at the edge. Fold the dough over into a rectangle and press at the edges to seal. Repeat until all the borekas are formed. Arrange on a parchment-lined baking sheet and refrigerate for an hour; they should be cold and firm to the touch.

egg and brush the tops of the borekas, then sprinkle with the poppy and sesame seeds. Bake until the dough is golden brown, about 15 minutes.

• Covered, at room temperature, borekas will keep for 2 days. Don’t refrigerate them. They’ll reheat quickly and well in a 325ºF oven for 5 minutes.

• Filled borekas can be frozen before baking. In that case, put them directly in a preheated 425ºF oven; don’t thaw them first.

Feta Borekas from Zahav, ©2015 by Michael Solomonov and Steven Cook. Reproduced by permission of Rux Martin Books/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. All rights reserved.

• Preheat the oven to 425ºF, with a rack in the upper third. Beat the remaining

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25

FILM FEST

Nir Bergman

Jewish

Film Fest Returns

CELEBRATING 28 YEARS IN SAN DIEGO

A

lot of work goes into the San Diego Jewish Film festival year after year.

And none of the films or events happen overnight, as anyone involved with the Lawrence family Jewish Community Center’s Center for Jewish Culture (the leading force behind the event) can attest to. Festival founder Joyce Axelrod spoke to us last month about her love of film, and the Joyce Forum — a juried competitive program of short films — named in her honor as part of the fest’s annual programming since 2003.

L’CHAIM: What was the impetus behind starting a film festival in San Diego?

JA: 28 years ago, my friend Lynette Allen, was appointed to be the Cultural Arts Director of the JCC. She asked me to help her with a film series [and the rest is history].

That film series turned out to be the wildly popular San Diego Jewish Film Festival!

L’CHAIM: Have you been involved in film throughout your life?

JA: Film was never that important until I started helping [Lynette]. I was absolutely hooked by being able to view films from all over the world and program them for our festival. It’s a very empowering thing to try to select films that you think an audience of various ages and sensibilities might like. I did that for 10 years until Judy Friedel became the Chairperson of the San Diego Jewish Film Festival. After that, there were several other devoted chair people: Fran Ginsburg, 26

Helen Fleming, Saundra Saperstein and now the great Chris Fink to name some. It’s almost a full-time volunteer job to be chairperson.

L’CHAIM: Your specialty this year is short films, or “shorts” — what about them is so exciting to you?

JA: I have been programming a shorts day, the Joyce Forum day of short films, for about 10 years. I love shorts, always have! Being a good short filmmaker is no easy task. You have to present a well-crafted story in less than 30 minutes.

FILM FEST GOES BEYOND SAN DIEGO Christina Fink is the Chair of the San Diego Jewish Film Festival. In her second year in this leadership position and her tenth year on the feature film selection committee at the JCC, she and her team of six other curators watch and evaluate about 300 feature films from March to October, to arrive at the collection which will be in the festival.

But when she is not watching and selecting films for the festival, Christina has another passion, which brings film to another population — inmates at the Vista jail.

Every week, she goes to jail and teaches film history, film theory, and film evaluation to 100 inmates.

Fink is also is the substitute teacher for the GED class at the jail, and through that position, met counselors implementing new programming. Fink suggested film appreciation as a vehicle to work on critical

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

thinking skills.

“This was an experiment that simply worked out,” she says. “The men love the films, and have learned how to discuss a movie as one would a book. Their observations and commentary expand every week, and I know that they keep talking about the films after I leave.”

In her fourth year of her program, she collects titles under a monthly theme and this enables the group to compare and contrast the films within a certain range of discussion. Examples of such monthly themes include: Hitchcock, Food, Thrillers, Comedy, Film Noir, Magic and Magicians, Dysfunctional Families, and the Power of Music, to mention a few. She even has some older titles from past SDJFF collections and has re-created a Jewish film festival one month to take the films inside.

“I guess this is my mitzvah,” she says of the work. “And how lucky I am that I can do it with film.”

THE SAN DIEGO JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL BEGINS FEBRUARY 7 WITH AN UNDERWRITER-ONLY PREVIEW NIGHT. SCREENINGS AND EVENTS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC RUN AT VARIOUS LOCATIONS THROUGHOUT SAN DIEGO COUNTY, FEBRUARY 8-18. THE JOYCE FORUM WILL BE HELD THROUGHOUT THE DAY ON FEB. 12. FOR TITLES, SHOW TIMES AND OTHER PROGRAMMING, CALL THE JCC BOX OFFICE AT (858) 362-1348 OR VISIT WWW.SDJFF.ORG.

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27

FEATURE STORY

LOVE QUESTIONS,

ANSWERED

A Q&A with Judith Gottesman, Soul Mates Unlimited® "Jewish organizations spend time and money to keep Jews connected, prevent intermarriage and assimilation, yet they don’t invest in the one most direct and obvious way to do that: pay for Jewish singles to be able to have the assistance of my personalized matchmaking,” says Judith Gottesman, owner and founder of Soulmates Unlimited®.

All the summer camps and college trips to Israel don’t matter or prevent intermarriage as studies thought. When those youth become adults, and then can’t find anyone Jewish to date and marry in the secular world, they give up and marry non-Jews they find where they live or on online dating sites, or just stay single forever.

As a full-time professional matchmaker working solely with the California Jewish community, Gottesman has been in business for nine years, making wishes come true for her clients. Recently, L’CHAIM spoke with her about what it takes to be a matchmaker, and how she has helped numerous Jewish singles become couples and find love.

How did you get started in the matchmaking business?

JUDITH GOTTESMAN: I saw my father, Rabbi Aaron Gottesman, do beautiful and romantic weddings, so I believe in love and [saw] the beauty marriage brings at a young age. I helped friends and acquaintances find love since college. I got my master’s in social work since I like to help people and believe bringing love into people’s lives is the best kind of social work I can do since love makes everything better. It’s good for your health, your finances, your everything.

L’CHAIM MAGAZINE:

L’CHAIM: Are JG: All of my

your clients all Jewish? matchmaking clients are Jewish but many of my date coaching clients are not. I specialize in matchmaking for the Jewish community and am the only 28

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

FEATURE STORY

matchmaker exclusively serving the San Diego Jewish community and beyond. My business is headquartered in San Diego. I am putting out a call to the formal Jewish community to help Jews find each other and make it possible for everyone to afford my service.

L’CHAIM: Is there a difference in matchmaking

for Jews versus other populations? How? JG: The Jewish community is so small and there is every type of Jew within the community. Many of my clients feel they know everyone in their community and like the fact I have clients out of the area to expand their pool in nearby Los Angeles and Orange County.

What are the top three criteria in making a good match?

JG: Shared values, goals, and lifestyle.

L’CHAIM:

Do you reach singles in Israel and other foreign countries? What parts of the world do you work in?

JG: My clients can be anywhere in the world, as all my work is via phone and email. That said, I specialize in the West Coast and focus my marketing in California, where the majority of Jews live.

About half my client base finds me from Internet searches and the other half learn of me from being the only matchmaker who advertises in every major Jewish publication in California. People who are Jewish and care about being with someone Jewish, come to me. And, some start with me living locally and then can stay a client wherever they might move.

L’CHAIM: Are you seeing changes or trends in things people are seeking in “a match” today versus at other times in your career?

JG: I think love is love and that doesn’t change. Except for an occasional hermit, L’CHAIM:

most people want to have love in their lives and share their life with someone. Judaism believes it is not good for people to be alone.

As a matchmaker, I certainly agree.

I do my best to make it likely that my matches be compatible and have a more harmonious coupling. And, I believe for Jews, that means a Jewish soul mate. So many of my divorced clients feel they made a mistake marrying outside the faith and want to find a Jewish match next time around. People appreciate the more personal approach of my matchmaking in this more and more impersonal and computer-centered world.

Is there something like a 6th sense involved in matchmaking? Something beyond common interest or background that makes a matchmaker “know” that two people could be a match?

JG: I have a very strong intuitive sense about people. So far, everyone married through me married the very first person I wanted them to meet. I’ve been successfully matching people since college, over 25 years, long before I started my business, so I knew I was good at observing details about people and just sort of seeing who goes together and soul mate matches. I believe God sends me people’s soul mates and I do what I can to make sure they get together.

L’CHAIM:

What is the biggest “tell” a client gives you? Are there certain buzzwords or key phrases that help you determine who is a soul mate for another one of your clients?

JG: I spend about an hour interviewing every new client. I have a very detailed list of questions to get to know them and their criteria. It is much more in-depth than anything people would fill out for an online dating site profile. I also pay attention to more unusual and specific things than others might, like are they night or morning people, L’CHAIM:

what is their diet like and what are their longterm goals.

During the new client interview, I never know when someone might share something additional which may end up being something to make me think of the perfect match for them. I love it when that happens!

Every new client is exciting for me since I feel like it’s a treasure hunt getting to know them, and discovering if I have their match. Their match can come along at any time, as new clients come along all the time.

What do you find to be your most successful matches?

JG: People who are more open to the type of person and location are more likely to be matched. Most of my couples started out long distance and didn’t stay that way long, since one person moved to be with the other.

People who aren’t limited to an exact list and are more flexible to the more superficial criteria are more successfully matched.

L’CHAIM:

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON JUDITH GOTTESMAN’S MATCHMAKING SERVICE, SOUL MATES UNLIMITED® VISIT WWW. SOUL MATESUNLIMITED.COM, CALL (510) 418-8813, OR EMAIL INFO@SOULMATESUNLIMITED.COM. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

29

FEATURE STORY l BY SHIRYN SOLNY | jns.org

TOUCHING HISTORY Holocaust-era artifacts tell story of Jews finding safe haven in Shanghai

A

recently unveiled exhibit at a Holocaust museum in Brooklyn tells the largely untold story of Eastern European religious Jews who fled the Nazis and found refuge in Shanghai.

The Amud Aish Memorial Museum last October launched “A Precious Gift: Escape to Shanghai,” featuring original artifacts that give a glimpse into the lives of Orthodox Jews starting from their time in Eastern Europe before World War II, through their travels to Shanghai and ultimately their religious life in China before they found a permanent home elsewhere. The exhibit also highlights the heroic efforts of worldwide government officials who risked everything to help Jews and explains how Shanghai was a safe haven because it did not require entry visas and maintained open borders for all immigrants until the late 1930s.

The many artifacts on display in the exhibit include a transit visa issued by Japanese Vice Consul in Lithuania Chiune Sugihara, who disobeyed orders from his superiors and authorized travel papers for Jews; sacred religious texts printed by Jewish refugees in Shanghai; candlesticks with Chinese writing on them bought by a Polish Jew in Shanghai; and a marriage contract from a Jewish wedding that took place in China after the war.

Small group workshops, catered for middle school students, accompany the exhibit and focus on an individual story of a Holocaust survivor. One such workshop explores the experience of Judith CohnGoldbart, a Jewish girl whose family left Berlin for Shanghai shortly after Kristallnacht in 1938. She remained in Shanghai until years after the war and was a teacher at the religious girls’ school established there. Participants in the group workshops are given the opportunity to examine copies of original artifacts from Shanghai, such as a Jewish student’s report card.

“It feels like they’re touching history,” Chavi Felsenburg, acquisitions curator at the Amud Aish Memorial Museum and leader of many of the workshops, told JNS. “It just makes the story more real. It puts all the information that they gathered together in perspective.”

She added, “I think people leave inspired. It really does affect them...[within] the groups that come, very often I’ll have someone raising their hand saying, ‘This was my grandmother. This was my aunt.’”

Dovid Reidel, director of the museum’s research and archive division, said Amud Aish received its first collection of artifacts related to Shanghai in 2013, the same year the museum opened. The vast collection the museum received at the time included notes a Jewish refugee kept from his doctors in Shanghai, pamphlets that came with medication he bought and X-rays of his eyes. Another early Shanghai 30

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

collection the museum received belonged to Cohn-Goldbart and was discovered by relatives who emptied her Los Angeles home after she died. They donated documents and items to the museum in large shopping bags, unsure of what exactly they possessed, but hoping the museum would give them some answers.

The museum, which is located in a mainly residential area of Brooklyn, focuses on the Holocaust from the vantage point of Orthodox Jews—how they lived, how they maintained their religion and more. Many items in the Shanghai collection were donated by Orthodox Jews who preferred not to give the items to any other museum, Felsenburg said.

“A lot of times donors will tell me that they feel like the people who perished [in the Holocaust], that is what they would like to have: that continuous connection to God,” she said. “They thought maybe it wouldn’t come across in other museums the same way. It’s more from a cultural perspective, but not from a spiritual one. So even though some of the items were ordinary items that other people might have too, it’s about what they meant to these people.”

Shanghai is best known among the Orthodox Jewish community for its connection to the Mir Yeshiva, which was founded in Lithuania and was the region’s only religious school that had most of its students (approximately 300) survive the Holocaust. Its students relocated to Shanghai, taught religious classes in the community and remained there until eventually moving to Jerusalem or Brooklyn, where they reopened branches of their school.

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OUR TRIBE

Community:

TRIBE

OUR

San Diego Attorney Speaks to Berlin Parliament

THE COMMUNITY PLACE

Investors and Art Supporters:

33 1/3: HOUSE OF DREAMS

A WORLD PREMIERE MUSICAL Neil Young, Tina Turner, Sonny and Cher, Jimi Hendrix, Herb Alpert, The Who, The Ramones, Leonard Cohen You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’, Good Vibrations, La Bamba, Tequila, He’s a Rebel, Summertime Blues, Rockin’ Robin

Vanessa Berger, Brunhild Stürmer, Harvey Berger

Brunhilde Stürmer has dedicated the last 40 years of her life to preserving Jewish history in Niederzissen, Germany, who’s Jewish community vanished after the Holocaust.

Brunhilde has connected survivors and their extended families around the globe, helping to bring together descendants of survivors living in the USA, South Africa, Israel, the Netherlands and Mexico as well as restoring the town's synagogue into a museum. She was awarded the Obermayer Award and Harvey Berger, a San Diego attorney, whose father was one of the few residents to escape persecution, introduced Brunhilde at the Berlin parliament, where the award was presented.

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Have something you want to share?

What do they all have in common? Gold Star Recording Studios. Over 120 Top-40 hits were created at this Hollywood studio famous for Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound productions.

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Join our Indiegogo campaign at https://igg.me/at/33-3-HOUSEOF-DREAMS/x

 33 1/3 - House of Dreams For Investor & Other Inquiries: Contact Brad Ross at brad@houseofdreamsmusical.com

We at L'CHAIM want to help you strengthen your ties to your community by publishing your lifecycle events in our magazine AT NO CHARGE. As a community, we share in each other's joys and sorrows and are always here to support one another.

This service is brought to you by Chai Five Projects. Please submit your lifecycle events to info@lchaimmagazine.com Visit lchaimmagazine.com/chai5projects for more info.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

BY CHANA JENNY WEISBERG l FAMILY

jewish

mom.com Chani Weinrott's Widower, Dovi: "How I'm Not Falling Apart"

L

ast night, in honor of the publication of her new book How She Grows, Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi hosted an evening featuring various people who have faced life-altering challenges and grown from them.

Among the speakers was Dovi Weinrott, the widower of one of the most dearly loved people in Israel, Chani Weinrott z”l, who passed away from cancer 2 months ago at the age of 34.

As I wrote previously, Chani was a remarkably charismatic, vibrant woman who was a natural-born star. During her final years, she became accustomed to frequent appearances in front of large audiences on stage or on TV. Her husband, Dovi, is an accountant and lawyer. Not accustomed to the limelight, except when it was shining on his famous wife.

But last night, he overcame his reserved nature in order to deliver the following heart-felt message to the thousands of women in attendance. This is what he came to share with us: “Shalom Ladies and Ladies… Over the last 2 months since Chani passed away many people have called to speak with me. Some of these people calling are going through major life crises — they have a spouse with

cancer or a child who is very ill. They ask me how I am managing, how it is possible that I am not falling apart after everything I’ve gone through.

“Other people who call me are going through other significant but smaller life challenges–they lost a job, they have a child who is not following in their path, they are having trouble marrying off their children.

These people tell me that they are falling apart, and want to understand how I, having faced the illness and death of my wife, am coping. Here’s what I tell them.

“Firstly, Chani and I worked very hard on having an Ayin Tova, a positive outlook on life. Chani and I were married for 15 years, 10 of which we spent in the shadow of her illness. But instead of focusing on the bad, we chose, with all our might, to focus on what we had instead of what we didn’t.

“Today, my wife is gone. I could focus on that. I could fall into despair. But, as Chani taught me by her personal example, I choose instead to focus on what I do have — our 3 adorable, wonderful children, 2 daughters and a son. A steady income, a job. A close family.

“Secondly, after Chani died I was extremely worried about how Shabbat would be. I went to a great man, and I told him my concerns, that Shabbat would become

a sad day for my children–with their father lighting the Shabbat candles instead of their beloved mother, and without their mother joining us at the Shabbat table.

“This great man listened carefully to my concerns, and then he told me the following: instead of preparing for the worse, expect the best. He told me to expect, despite my fears to the contrary, that Shabbat would actually be a happy day for my children.

“And this great man was right. That’s exactly what happened. It wasn’t easy, but I worked hard on expecting the best, and doing so seems to have made it so.

“Thank you for listening. May Hashem bless you.”

CHANA JENNY WEISBERG, THE CREATOR OF JEWISHMOM.COM, IS A STAY-HOME MOTHER OF 8 CHILDREN LIVING IN JERUSALEM WITH HER HUSBAND, RABBI JOSHUA WEISBERG. ORIGINALLY FROM BALTIMORE, CHANA JENNY HAS DEVOTED HER NON-MOM TIME OVER THE PAST DECADE TO PROVIDING INSPIRATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT FOR OTHER JEWISH MOMS THROUGH HER POPULAR BOOKS EXPECTING MIRACLES AND ONE BABY STEP AT A TIME.

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A SPECIAL PAL FOR SOLDIERS IN SPECIAL UNIFORM The Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) has long been the central gateway for Israel’s youth as they become members of society. It is well known that immediately after graduating high school, Israel’s teenagers find themselves in a new reality of living on a base and having the responsibility of taking care of themselves and the safety of the entire State of Israel. For many, the technical and behavioral lessons soldiers acquire and learn during their service help shape these teenagers into adults, heroes, and who they will be after their military service.

However, more than 13% of Israeli citizens are excluded from this crucial life experience that allows them to fulfill their right to be accepted into society; people living with disabilities.

Special in Uniform was conceived by Lt. Col. (Res.) Tiran Attia in partnership with Jewish National Fund (JNF-USA), to make sure that mentally and physically disabled Israeli youth are not left behind.

Special in Uniform goes beyond the walls of IDF bases, helping its graduates integrate into the workforce and Israeli society through various ways, including its new pilot program, the Canine Unit.

This new unit, where disabled soldiers work with a variety of dog breeds answers a major issue going forward as nearly 50% of people with disabilities in Israel are unemployed. Now, with this new skillset people with mental disabilities can reverse the past trend of living completely dependent on family and welfare. Now, young soldiers assigned to Special in Uniform’s Canine Unit will be properly trained after leaving the army with the essential abilities to make them employable, and give them the life skills they need to survive independently.

In mid-January, 15 Special in Uniform soldiers, nearing the end of their service or just recently released, graduated from the first Canine Unit program. After a rigorous six months, they overcame fear, learned responsibility, were put in a position of leadership, and graduated as professionally trained dog handlers.

Officers from the State’s police and prison systems, and members of the canine IDF combat unit Oketz, were invited to the program’s first ever graduation ceremony to showcase the success of the program and hopefully create a regular hiring partnership with them. After witnessing the graduates in action, Prison Officer Alon Gorno, in amazement said, “They have something naturally that not even the best dog handlers have. They possess the joy of life. This is something 36

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2018

dogs respond to, and something we look for when we hire dog handlers to keep our prison safe.”

Moshe Sneer, a graduate of the Canine Unit’s first dog training program, never expected to be where he is today. Shulamit, Moshe’s mother, said “My son came to this unit shy, timid, and fearful of animals. He graduated today with a self confidence I could not dream of.” At the ceremony Moshe spoke to an audience of nearly 50 people, and with pride and confidence showed his new work ID card for the Municipality of Nes Ziona, where is he is now the manager of the park zoo.

Sapir Wizel was recently released after serving in the dining hall of the Palmachim Israeli Air Force Base. Sapir’s mother Inbar, recalls, “I never saw her like this. She came home every Wednesday smiling and telling me every detail of her training with her dog Luna and her friends.” While it was extremely hard and required immense amounts of patience, Sapir admitted, “It was fun! I worked with my best friends all day (people and dogs).”

Special in Uniform’s founder, Lt. Col. (Res.) Ariel Almog, closed the ceremony by saying, “I know you will all go on to work and live a normal life. You have exceeded all of our dreams and given us much more than we can ever give you.”

BY STEPHANIE LEWIS l HUMOR

mazel

& mishagoss Wanna Become a Smart Cookie This Purim? Try This!

B

eing a quirky party planner, it’s never a surprise to my family when I announce I’m throwing a fun celebratory shindig that features something completely out of the ordinary. Purim this year will be no exception. I’ve waited many months to unveil my newest creation which I like to call, “Hamentalkin’ Hamentashen!”

That’s right, traditional Purim treats that display fun little messages inside! Because why should the Chinese people get all the communicative cuisine with their fun fortune cookies? And who says Saint Valentine gets the monopoly on the “sweet stuff that speaks” just because he invented those candy conversation sweethearts, which by the way taste like chalk?

SAY IT WITH FOOD! Are you with me so far on this clever Purim cookie? Because I think I’m gonna make an absolute fortune on the idea, no pun intended!

What Jew wouldn’t listen to a message that was transmitted through his traditional holiday dessert? You’ve heard it said that, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” right? Well I’m about to test this theory with various Purim party guests of all ages and genders by serving scrumptious traditional pastries (in the shape of a bad guy’s hat) with cleverly written slips of paper baked inside that will put Post-It Note writers to shame.

And just think of all the various options you

can incorporate. In fact, in order to get my house nice and clean prior to the perspective above-mentioned party, I tested the concept out on my six kids by baking up a batch that were chore-themed. After dinner, my children each received five apricot, raspberry, and poppy-seed filled Hamentashen and (before the novelty of opening the clandestine cookie messages could wear off) I found my kids doing exactly what the delicious flaky dough dictated. “Empty the kitchen trash!” and “Dust the living room furniture!” and “Wipe down our patio chairs!”

The possibilities are endless. Any Jewish woman (worth her weight in flour!) who wants to make an important announcement (Birth of a baby? Engagement or wedding?) during the holiday can put a bunch of these “Hamentalkin’ Hamentashen” in a little basket and deliver them as creative Mishloach Manot. It was actually the perfect way for me to inform all our friends about my son’s upcoming 13th birthday as it came quite naturally to combine the ancient Chinese Fortune-Teller into my Purim cookies by typing out the cute message, “Cohenfucious Say: Little Boy become Big Man at Bar Mitzvah!” But before you ask, “What in the world does Chinese culture have to do with Judaism?” perhaps you might recall where you ate dinner this past December 25th, hmmm?

Here are some other little bombs I’m

planning to drop on my shocked invitees as they unsuspectingly enjoy their Hamentashen this year. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks – We’re getting a Golden Retriever puppy!” And, “You can’t build a new house with old bricks – We’re moving!” And “You can’t get rid of an old louse with a quick fix – our six kids have lice!” Oy vey, well maybe I won’t exactly announce that last little tidbit to our Purim party guests because it might be a really tough cookie to swallow. But then again, why not? You know what they say...

“That’s the way the (Hamentashen) cookie crumbles!”

STEPHANIE D. LEWIS WRITES HUMOR FOR THE HUFFINGTON POST AND AT ONCEUPONYOURPRIME. COM BUT YOU CAN REACH HER AT THEQUOTEGAL@YAHOO.COM WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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