L'Chaim May 2015 by L'Chaim San Diego Magazine

MAY 2015

LIPINSKY FAMILY S A N

D I E G O

JEWISH ARTS FESTIVAL

HEALTH

FITNESS AND THE TORAH p. 24

SENIORS

MITZVAH MEMORIALS p. 26

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

8 May 2015

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Features 12 A Thousand Words Laura Barrish, President and CEO ALTA GOLDEN

15 Pre-Marriage Education 16 COVER STORY: 22nd Annual Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Fest

20 FOOD: From Spain to Italy on a Plate Goat Cheese Stuffed Zucchini Blossoms and Sweet Pea Sauce

24 HEALTH: Fitness and the Torah

28 Bastyr University Clinic 26 SENIORS: Mitzvah Memorials 30 Life Lessons from Dr. Ruth

Headlines 32 News to Know Now Columns

6 My Comic Relief 8 What Jew Mean 10 Of the Book 29 Mazel & Mishagoss

PUBLISHERS Diane Benaroya & Laurie Miller

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO, LLC (858) 776-0550 San Diego, CA 92127

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alanna Maya

EDITORIAL editor@lchaimmagazine.com

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Laurie Miller

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ADVERTISING & SALES Diane Benaroya (dianeb@ lchaimmagazine.com), Ally Ginzberg (chub1@sbcglobal.net), Sharon Rapoport (sharonbux@gmail.com)

LISTINGS & CALENDAR: calendar@lchaimmagazine.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS info@lchaimmagazine.com

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CONTRIBUTORS Yigal Adato, Daniel Bortz, Aimee Greenberg, Sofie Kinnefors, Stephanie Lewis, Rita Mailheau, Salomon Maya, Sharon Rapoport

ART DEPARTMENT lauriem@lchaimmagazine.com

Copyright 2015 L’Chaim San Diego LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator” to: publisher@lchaimmagazine.com ©

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RANDOM RANTS l BY SALOMON MAYA

comic relief On Writing a Play

n 2012, I wrote a quick one act comedy that my theatre group, Teatro Punto y Coma, staged at the Old Town Theatre. My first play revolved around a troubled adult, Adam, still living with his mom. After visiting his grandmother (Bubbe) at her new “old age” home he quickly realized a get rich quick scheme. The original working title of the play was going to be, “Pimp by Bubbe,” but I quickly changed it to “Splitting Adam.” I’ll be honest, some people loved the play, some didn’t, and I’m fine with that. It was the first play I had ever written and I accomplished what I wanted in the first place, it caused an emotional reaction in the audience. No one walked out of that theatre thinking, well that went nowhere. It truly is amazing when ideas magically “pop” into your head. For my first play, it popped while I sat in the lobby of an old age home reading a pamphlet entitled Seniors, STD’s and You, my second play popped while I sat in traffic. Normally I would be listening to my norm (Sirius/XM channel 100, for those in the know…hey now) but

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

this time I changed it up and opened up my Spotify and listened to a song named “Medicine” by the band The 1975 (do yourself a favor and look up that song, it truly is beautiful). I was at a complete stop, no movement whatsoever. So I did what most people do while they’re stuck in traffic. I started people watching, and that’s when it came to me. I started looking at the different people sitting in the same traffic I was in and found myself wondering who they were, where they were going, why they were there, etc. And I was hooked. Everyone had another story and everyone was another character. There, on the 8 freeway, “Gridlock” was born. When I got home I immediately got to work. One of my favorite plays is Jean-Paul Sartre’s “No Exit” as I love writing about people being physically and/or emotionally stuck, and here I had four characters literally stuck in gridlock traffic while keeping to Sartre’s original theme of hell being other people. I kept firing aggressively at

my keyboard until my wife gave me the universal look for “if you don’t start paying attention to me I will chop your fingers off.” So, I shut down for the night and let the story mentally marinate. A couple days later I spoke with a friend of mine, shared the idea and he added a key element of having two stories happening concurrently (thank you Aaron). I loved it. I got home and started writing, and about five days later had my first draft. After some re-writes, our theatre troupe got together one night and read it aloud. I sat back as the play ended and waited for my critiques. Luckily, the troupe loved the story and characters and on Saturday, June 6 at 8:45 p.m., I will present the second play that I have ever written at the San Diego Repertory Theatre as part of the Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Festival. Brought to you by “L’CHAIM Magazine,”t this “performance” will be in the form of a reading to better assist me in re-writes before mounting a full production in 2016. I hope you will come out and help me finish up “Gridlock” as we read it to a live audience for the first time. Be part of the amazing process that is theatre. Come tell me you love it, come tell me you hate it… all that I ask is that you come and tell me what you really think. Whatever emotion you feel after sitting in the audience, let me know. I can handle it. SALOMON MAYA IS A LOCAL ACTOR AND PLAYWRIGHT. FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER @SALOMAYA

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SPIRITUAL l BY YIGAL ADATO

what

jew mean

Stop Being a People Pleaser express their feelings. They may be handed a task and don’t really want to do it or don’t know how, but stay quiet anyway. Tell the other person how you truly feel about the subject so that you don’t hold your feelings in and blow up later. Remember: your feelings are yours and nobody should judge you for them.

y disease began at a very young age. I learned to live with it and it just felt “normal.” I didn’t question it or seek out a remedy, since everyone around me seemed to have the same disease at some point in life. In the beginning, it didn’t cause me any physical pain, but after some time I started feeling the exhaustion and irritation it can cause. The years went on, and my Disease to Please seemed to take a backseat to everyday life, but there was always the chance it could come back. I didn’t realize how much danger it could cause until I moved into my new house and the neighbor’s barking dogs wouldn’t let me rest. I talked to the neighbors a couple of times and they promised that they would do something. Of course, nothing happened, so I called animal control. When the neighbor got upset with me and confronted me about reporting him, my disease flared up, and it was the worst flare up in its history. Later that week, I ended up buying the neighbor a $200 gift basket and wrote an apology letter. That’s right; I ended 8

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

up apologizing for something I didn’t do and that’s when I knew my disease needed treatment ASAP. Here’s what I learned and what you can do to cure yourself if you, too, suffer this painful disease: 1. Nice people can say NO I was taught at a young age that the more I did for others the better person I was. I started becoming addicted to the praise and approval I was getting by taking on more responsibilities than I could handle. It came to the point that I was not getting things done on time and I became unreliable. That’s when I learned to not say yes right away and to ask for some time to think about my answer. When you ask for some time it gives you a chance to reflect on how much you have on your plate and decide if you really want to take on the task. Always remember: just because you said no doesn’t make you a bad person. 2. Express your feelings People pleasers often forget or are afraid to

3. Deal with your negative emotions People have an irrational fear of aggression and anger. I say irrational because the fear is just in our minds. We don’t want to say something to our loved ones out of fear of hurting them or getting into a fight, and being complacent often helps you avoid anger or confrontation but the truth is that it only adds to the frustration within. Be authentic and stand up for you and what you feel. Confrontation isn’t a bad thing. Hiding your truth is. There is a way to be totally honest without being angry and if the other person gets angry, that is how they feel and they are expressing themselves. Avoiding conflict isn’t a sign of a healthy relationship, rather one that is doomed with trouble. So deal with your negative emotions because there is a reason they are there. Pleasing is an addiction that can really take a toll on you. If you have the Disease to Please, know that there is a cure, it just takes a lot of being authentic and work. I continue to work on my disease, as it comes up in many situations, and to leave you on a high note, I now sleep well since there are no barking dogs next door. CONNECT WITH YIGAL ON TWITTER @YIGALADATO.

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TORAH l BY RABBI DANIEL BORTZ

of the

book 3 Stages of Love

he third and last major holiday of the Jewish Calendar year is Shavuot (Saturday evening, May 23-May 25). Shavuot commemorates the giving of the Torah, likened by our sages to a wedding between G-d and the Jewish people. The entire Jewish nation stood at Mount Sinai [the wedding canopy], as G-d [the groom] wed His bride [the Jewish people], by giving her a ring of betrothal [the Torah], vowing that we would always be loyal to one another. Let’s take a deeper look at this corresponding analogy of the gift of Torah and marriage. Let’s divide the relationship between a couple into three stages. The first stage is the early days of their relationship, the courting process. Here the two may be feeling a great attraction and desire in one another. Each person is showing the other the best side of themselves. During this stage, each one appreciates the other’s qualities, and is attracted to their talents, looks, personality and capabilities. Marriage can represent the second stage. These original feelings of being madly in love likely will not remain. But the relationship still grows, as each helps and supports the other, learning and progressing together. Each begins to appreciate what the other does for them. 10

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

In the third stage of the relationship, the people in the relationship have ceased looking at only what the other offers or at the great benefits and talents their mate possesses. Now, they are one. Think about the difference one sees when looking at a young couple and an elderly couple together. The elderly couple may not seem to have a wild and exciting relationship, or an overt burning passion between them. But they are deeply bound. Each knows, almost instinctively, the needs of their spouse. So too, have there been three stages in the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people. At their outset, G-d performed miracles and wonders in Egypt and at the sea, sweeping the Jewish nation off of their feet. The Jews as well impressed G-d with their faith in leaving Egypt into an unknown desert and future. We were madly in love with one another, proclaiming: na’aseh v’nishma–“we will do first, and then we will understand.” There was an undying devotion to this awesome Divine Being. But this was a temporary excitement. After the marriage at Mt. Sinai, the Jews disobeyed and rebelled, leading almost to a divorce. But the relationship endured and progressed, as each did so much for the other; the Jews performing Mitzvot and learning about their mate through studying

His Torah. But as history has progressed, the connection between G-d and His People has moved into the third stage, our becoming as One, knowing instinctively what the other wants. This is seen in the Halachot and Minhagim (customs) developed by all strands of Jewish leaders and communities worldwide over time. These laws and customs all have basis on Torah texts, but have been established and elucidated by man. “The Torah is not in heaven,” meaning it is up to us to decide amongst many of the rulings and customs (see Talmud, Bava Metzia 59a-b for more). Let us not forget as well that just as any relationship, even in its third stage, needs excitement and passion to thrive, G-d deeply desires a loving and exciting relationship with us, as evidenced in King Solomon’s Song of Songs. Let us celebrate the gift of the Torah, working to merit the time soon when the relationship of all with G-d will be openly revealed as being in the third stage, as one. RABBI DANIEL BORTZ IS THE DIRECTOR OF JTEEN SAN DIEGO, JTEENSD.COM. FOR INFORMATION ON CLASSES, CONTACT HIM AT DANIELBORTZ@GMAIL.COM.

L’CHAIM l BY ALANNA MAYA

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

L’CHAIM

A THOUSAND

WORDS Laura Barrish, President and CEO, Alta Golden

hen Laura Barrish founded the in-home senior care business Alta Golden in 2008, she had no idea where that journey would bring her. Today, the company still provides excellent in-home care to seniors with a variety of needs in addition to housing an adult day care center for dementia care and support for both clients and their families. Known for their attention to detail and concern for their clients’ well being over profit, the company is a shining star in the area of senior care in San Diego County. All of Alta Golden’s employees are insured and bonded, and their memory care center is a fully licensed facility. L’CHAIM MAGAZINE: HOW DID YOU GET STARTED IN THE SENIOR CARE BUSINESS?

LAURA BARRISH: Well, I kind of fell into

it. I had been helping my parents and their friends and it was just something that I had always done. It got to the point where everyone said that I needed to be doing this as a business, so I ended up with Alta Golden, and the intention was not to be doing traditional caregiving but to helping seniors with home management, so that they could remain independent in their lives. We were able to help through things like home maintenance and if they need help writing their checks, balancing their checkbooks, arranging plumbers, gardeners, whatever they needed. But that is not what people came to us for, they came to us for companionship or help with doctor’s appointments or the other non-medical aspects, and so we followed

that non-traditional model, and later we had so many people coming to us with dementia, whether it was the individuals or their families, that we decided to open an adult day program, and that was licensed in 2011, and we have been doing that now since as well. L’CHAIM: WOW! HOW ABOUT YOUR STAFF? LB: In the beginning, we had some CNAs,

an LVN and a nurse on our staff, but we just started to recruit a lot more people who had certifications and experience [with dementia] as our client base grew that way. Today, we look at our client’s needs to determine what type of staff member to send their way, based on what they request or need help with. For example, we have WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

L’CHAIM

Check it out altagolden.com

one client right now that is recovering from a stroke, so we have CNAs coming to them; we have others who really need companionship or transportation, so we wont send a CNA in a position like that. L’CHAIM: WHAT MAKES ALTA GOLDEN DIFFERENT FROM ANOTHER HOME CARE AGENCY? LB: I think there are a few things. One is

that we are the only agency in the county that truly specialized in dementia, because the adult day program that we have works only with dementia, so the training that we have for our staff does cover a lot of those techniques. All of our caregivers have [the ability to] reach back to the memory center for guidance and assistance, activities and games. I love what we do and I think we are unique. On the in-home side, I think we do a great job. I think that we are really special and we stand out because we truly care about the well being of our client and we want them to have the best possible care, and I think that really shows. Another thing is that I am one of two owners, but I am also very hands on. As an example, last night, we had a caregiver that wasn’t able to make their shift, and I was able to fill in. I am hands-on, I work closely with the families and we are all really about doing what is the best thing. I don’t ever try to sell services. We are selling support, and that support takes many forms. Sometimes 14

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

it is a family member coming in to see us. L’CHAIM: LET’S TALK SOME MORE ABOUT YOUR DAY PROGRAM FOR DEMENTIA. WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE, AND HOW DOES IT OPERATE? LB: What is nice about our day program is

that it is a smaller program. We are licensed to accommodate up to 24 people, we cap it at 20, and the numbers that we have each day vary, and we are not full at this time. But because we keep the numbers low, it allows us to be a lot more interactive and hands on. It is not unusual to go to a day program that is larger to see sometimes 50-60 people sitting in a room, usually in a semi-circle, with a caregiver in the front leading some type of activity. In our program, you will see 2-3 program aides in a room with 12 people, and you are seeing a very handson, interactive approach, and the reason for that is that because we do specialize in dementia, we are doing the types of activities that will help to draw people out; whether that is a word game, some type of math puzzle or a music or art activity and we are able to be there to support them and encourage them. The objective is really to encourage the crossing of the lobes of the brain; moving back and forth from right brain activities to left brain activities with programs that are enjoyable. That fact is very critical, because someone with dementia can be overwhelmed very easily and they will not

want to participate or come to the program. So, the program is beneficial to them because studies have shown that activities done in a group setting are more beneficial than if someone is at home playing a game on their computer. The other aspect is that the program is that it is the family’s respite care. One of our participants drops his wife off in the morning and he goes to work, which he couldn’t do if he had to spend the day with her. L’CHAIM: TELL ME ABOUT THE CARE THAT YOU PROVIDE FOR YOUR CLIENT’S FAMILIES. LB: We have one family member, whose

wife has been coming into the memory center and we have also been providing inhome support for them, and he came in to see me last week and really just wanted a friendly ear as much as guidance, and my advice to him was to take care of himself as much as her, and if that means that it is time for his wife to go into memory care, then he should know that he has done all that he could do. So, sometimes, it’s letting a family member off the hook, and saying, “This has been a really tough battle, and you have been amazing, but you also have to survive this.” Sometimes, doing what is right for the client means that the client won’t be a client anymore. I know that making the right decision for the client is the most important thing, and people know that if they come to us, they will get the type of support that is needed, and not be sold [something]. ALTA GOLDEN IS LOCATED AT 16885 WEST BERNARDO DRIVE, SUITE 212, SAN DIEGO, CA. 92127. LEARN MORE AT ALTAGOLDEN.COM OR CALL (858) 779-9254.

BY CRAIG LAMBERT l FEATURE STORY

ENGAGED OR RECENTLY MARRIED? Five Reasons to Try Marriage Education

a dip in mood. Research tells us that up to 10% suffer sadness intense enough to seek counseling. Marriage education prepares couples for these feelings, normalizing them so that they don’t cause panic. 5. Explore and Understand Your Partner on a Deeper Level Most couples spend more time planning their wedding than their marriage. While brides- and grooms-to-be believe they know their partners thoroughly, some important topics inevitably go undiscussed. Through marriage education, partners can avoid disrupting the stability of their relationship by broaching these topics in a structured way:

or young couples, the thrill of engagement and wedding preparations can overshadow an important fact: on the other side of the honeymoon, life as usual awaits. What will married life look like? Marriage education not only prepares partners for the challenges and opportunities of married life, it enriches the pre-marital or newlywed stage. Partners deepen their relationship, making them even more excited to commit to each other for life. Have you considered marriage education but need help convincing your fiancé or spouse? Thinking about gifting marriage education to your adult child and his or her partner? Here are five great reasons to give it a try: 1. Defy the Odds—Build a Union that Lasts Today’s divorce statistics are downright scary. Half of all marriages end in divorce. One in four ends within two years. But you don’t have to become one of them. A rigorous study by a University of Denver researcher found that marriage education lowered the divorce rate by over 30%.

2. Ward Off the Specter of the Long, Passionless Marriage Young couples see long-suffering husbands and wives all around them. How do relationships get that way? What went wrong? Couples feel empowered when they learn how these situations to develop and what to do if they sense warning signs at home. 3. Fill Your Toolbox with Proven Communication Skills We are not born with stellar communication skills and most people have never learned the skills that are shown to work best. Often, marital conflict stems from an inability to communicate effectively and navigate disagreements. Through marriage education, couples learn to hear their partner and respond appropriately, making conflict useful, rather than hazardous, to the relationship. 4. Beat the Post-Wedding Blues Because a wedding often takes a year to plan, couples end up structuring their lives around the preparations. Their identities become “bride” and “groom.” But once the big event is over, many couples report

• Each person’s vision of the marriage as it blossoms over time • Family-of-origin issues that could impact the relationship • Gender role expectations each partner may not even realize he or she harbors • Financial values • Intimacy and sexual assumptions Ready to get started? Engaged and newly married Jewish and Jewish-Interfaith couples in San Diego are invited to enroll in Jewish Family Service’s new six-session course in marriage success beginning June 16, 2015. Class meets every Tuesday from 7–9 p.m. at the Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center. Visit JFSSD.org/ marriage to learn more and reserve your spot. With a little education, you can build a marriage of connection and commitment. CRAIG LAMBERT, LCSW IS A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR IN SAN DIEGO WITH MORE THAN 30 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE DEDICATED TO HELPING COUPLES KINDLE THEIR LOVE, DEEPEN THEIR INTIMACY, AND STRENGTHEN COMMUNICATION. LEARN MORE AT CRAIGLAMBERTTHERAPY.COM

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COVER STORY l BY EVA TRIEGER

LIPINSKY LEGACY Annual arts fest honors Jewish acheivement

What would you call an eclectic collection of musicians, artists, actors, directors, scripts, crafts and generous donors? Only one name is big enough to capture it all: The 22nd Annual Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Festival. Festival Director Todd Salovey has curated, organized and directed the festivals since the first one in 1993, and each year it is bigger and better. This year’s festival has the added advantage of new venues for the plethora of performances spanning San Diego and North County. With the added space, the number of attendees will undoubtedly swell to more than ever before. While much has changed and been enhanced since the festival’s inception, Salovey shared that some core principles have remained. The festival seeks out artists who explore their Jewish identity through history, art and traditions. These are not just folks who have already become big names, but those who push

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

COVER STORY

Mona Golabek plays her mother in “The Pianist of Willensden Lane.”

at their own boundaries and cultivate their roots more deeply. The festival continues to create unique programs that have not been seen in other places, and provides a forum that launches these programs into new orbits. Salovey spoke of the cross influencing of cultures and themes, the interplay of perspectives and the resonance of similarities and overlapping ideals. This 22nd Annual Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Festival has a “most diverse line up,” he said. The festival’s audiences are Jewish and non-Jewish, and Salovey is excited to have the performers be a “light unto the nations” and share with others just what it is that makes us proud to be Jews. Through Flamenco guitar, singalongs, musical theater, staged readings, violin and klezmer, attendees will be able to share and delight in a broad spectrum of Jewish influenced themes, and the history of our rich and unique culture. Did somebody say “Klezmer?” This festival is elated to again have the

authenticity and august talent of Yale Strom. When I asked Salovey about first meeting Yale and under what circumstances that encounter took place, he shared the story with sincere awe and appreciation. In 1993, Salovey, as the new Artistic Director of San Diego Rep wanted to offer his favorite play to San Diego audiences. “The Dybbuk” opened and related the story of Eastern European Jews and their plight to hold onto tradition while being swept up into Polish society. While they are not quite star-crossed lovers, Ansky’s characters are betrothed by their fathers’ design before they are even conceived. Though they are unaware of this, a supernatural force draws the lovers toward each other despite the fact that they live in different villages, and she is promised to another. The tone of the play and the dialogue are not exclusively Jewish, but with a musical score composed by such a genuine Klezmer musician, how could it not resonate with the Jewish/Polish experience of the shtetls in that part of

the world? Salovey’s obvious respect and admiration for Strom’s craft came through, loud and clear. Strom’s unique journey of self-discovery led him to many towns in Central and Eastern Europe, the Balkans and Roma communities. He began his sojourn in the 1980s and by the time he met Salovey, Strom was already considered one of the foremost ethnographers of his day, and a Klezmer musician extraordinaire. When the two finally met, a mutual admiration society was born, and all of San Diego is the richer for it! An added bonus, Elizabeth Schwartz, Strom’s wife, teams up with him on occasion, to share her incredible gifts of voice, languages, and intense emotion parlayed through body language and a charming delivery. Don’t miss “A Wandering Feast” where you will delight in Strom’s life soundtrack. The 14th Annual Klezmer Summit, featuring violinist Rachel Barton Pine, will also get a boost from Strom’s accompaniment. Opening the program at the Lyceum on June 8 is a performance by the San Diego Jewish Men’s Choir. An immensely talented group of thirty men who “love Jewish music” will perform under the direction of Ruth Weber, and will deliver several selections, including new offerings from their second CD, which will be for sale at the festival. The San Diego Jewish Men’s Choir wishes to promote Jewish culture and heritage through song. Their mission: “When King Saul was melancholy, he was cheered by the music of David, the shepherd. When King David wrote the Psalms he instructed a conductor to put them to music.” Their performance at the festival is not to be missed. Another brilliant program, and one which I’ve had the consummate pleasure of seeing three times, is the San Diego REP’s offering of “Women of Valor.” This amazing tribute to our local women is always such a powerful and beautiful testament to how many incredible women live and operate among us, and how ignorant we are of what they do behind the scenes. “So many women are doing incredible things very quietly,” Salovey said. I don’t want to issue any spoiler alerts, so WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

COVER STORY

Yale Strom brings klezmer to life.

I’m hesitant to divulge this show’s line up, but in the past, we’ve had Holocaust survivors, the founder of the Ken Jewish Community, more than a handful of rebels, many huge philanthropists, and Jewish women from every single San Diego community who have tirelessly given of themselves to create a home and a homeland for others here and around the world. One impressive and noteworthy facet of the 22nd Annual Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Festival is its attention to tzedakah. We all love to pat ourselves on the back for making charitable gifts and for reaching out to those in need, but this festival really does it. By creating affordable ticket prices in addition to offering free events, this festival is donating proceeds to Chesed Home, San Diego Gmach, Torah High School, and Jewish Family Service’s Project SARAH. With this built in occasion to support such worthy local causes, it’s a win-win for everyone. Salovey told me that the San Diego REP has enjoyed such fabulous sponsors and that part of his goal has always been to “use the festival to give back to the community.” Now they are able to do so in a big way, and it far exceeds quid pro quo. This publication, L’Chaim, proudly 18

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

presents a reading of the brand new play, “Gridlock” read by theatre group Teatro Punto y Coma. Local actor and writer Salomon Maya has brought this dramatic world premiere to San Diego, featuring a star studded cast, including Yigal Adato, Lizette Galicot, AidaMasliah, Stephanie Frid and Zeji Ozeri. L’Chaim will host a post-show talk back, so that audiences can learn more about this fascinating play that features three strangers, a chance meeting, and fate. No one should miss out on this drama, interlaced with comedic surprises. Another program on the docket speaks directly to our younger audiences and children ages 3-15 will enjoy a free concert, produced by Zeji Ozeri, co-sponsored by Tarbuton and Soille Hebrew Day School. Of this program, Salovey stated that it is critical to develop and involve the “next generation” of festival attendees and nurture their love of Jewish themes, while broadening their artistic appreciation. Finally, two of the most exciting features of this year’s festival are Hershey Felder in “The Great American Songbook SingAlong” and Mona Golabek’s “The Pianist of Willesden Lane.” I guarantee you do not want to hear about this from your friends. You want to be in the audience so you can

make them envious if they missed it. Better yet, invite them to join you! The good news: Hershey’s at the Balboa Theater, which has many more seats than the San Diego REP. The bad news: he’s performing for only one night, May 21. This audience sing-along will feature the works of Gershwin to Chopin and Beethoven to Bernstein. Felder takes special delight in showing audiences how “the Jewish experience influenced” the creation of these great American classics that we all know from “A Chorus Line,” “The Wizard of Oz” and of course, “Fiddler on the Roof.” Jews are naturally a gang of storytellers and music has always been our conduit for celebrating and sharing. Felder directed and adapted Mona Golabek’s mother’s story for the stage in “The Pianist of Willesden Lane,” which returns to San Diego as part of the festival after critical acclaim in its presentation last fall at the REP. Through music, costume, setting and narration, we met Golabek’s mother, pianist Lisa Jura, and share in her emotionally-riveting life story. Mona, the writer, musician and actress plays her mother as she tells the story of her tumultuous adolescence in Vienna and London in the wake of World War II. If you missed this performance last year, take the second chance to see this wonderful work now. The 22nd Annual Lipinsky Family San Diego Arts Festival runs from May 21July 26. Tickets are available at each of the venues and online. For more information, visit SDRep.org. And for a full schedule of the festival’s performances and activities see page 20.

EVA TRIEGER IS A FREELANCE WRITER, AVID HIKER, ENTHUSIASTIC THEATERGOER, AND WORLD TRAVELER WHEN TIME AND MONEY PERMIT. SHE RUNS A PRIVATE TUTORING AND COACHING BUSINESS IN NORTH COUNTY. SHE IS AN EAST COAST REFUGEE AND HAS BECOME A NATURALIZED CALIFORNIAN. EMAIL HER AT EVAMTRIEGER@GMAIL.COM.

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COVER STORY SCHEDULE

ABOUT THE LIPINSKY FAMILY SAN DIEGO JEWISH FESTIVAL The Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Festival has been presented by San Diego Repertory Theatre for 22 years. The festival is a celebration of artistic expressions of Jewish history, traditions and ideas. The festival has brought together artists from 13 different countries, produced numerous world premieres, and presented work in seven languages.

THURSDAY, MAY 21 AT 7:30 P.M.

MONDAY, JUNE 8 AT 7:30 P.M.

at the Balboa Theatre Hershey Felder’s “Great American Song Book SingAlong”

on the Lyceum Stage at San Diego REP 14th Annual Klezmer Summit: “L’Dor V’Dor” (“From Generation to Generation”) Starring Rachel Barton Pine with Yale Strom and Hot Pstromi, plus the San Diego Jewish Men’s Choir

SUNDAY, MAY 31 AT 7:30 P.M. in the Lyceum Space at San Diego REP “A Wandering Feast” Starring 2nd Avenue Klezmer Ensemble followed by reading of selections of a new play with music by Todd Salovey and Yale Strom

in the Lyceum Space at San Diego REP

SUNDAY, JUNE 14 AT 2:00 P.M.

at the Oceanside Museum of Art Adam del Monte

at the Encinitas Library Women of Valor By Todd Salovey, Leah Salovey, Ali Viterbi, Rebecca Myers, and Sarah Price Keating Directed by Todd Salovey

SATURDAY, JUNE 6 AT 8:45 P.M.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 8 - SUNDAY, JULY 26

in the Lyceum Space at San Diego REP “Gridlock” a staged reading by Teatro Punto y Coma By Salomon Maya Directed by Pepe Stepensky

on the Lyceum Stage at San Diego REP Mona Golabek in “The Pianist of Willesden Lane” Adapted and directed by Hershey Felder Based on the book by Mona Golabek and Lee Cohen

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3 AT 7:30 P.M.

SUNDAY, JUNE 7 AT 2:00 P.M. at the AVO Playhouse 5th Annual Klezmer Summit North County Starring The Divas of Klezmer plus MiraCosta College Jazz Collective playing works by Yale Strom with special guests Rachel Barton Pine and Yale Strom 20

THURSDAY, JUNE 11 AT 7:30 P.M.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

Tickets are available at each of the venues and online. For more information, visit SDRep.org.

30 years of entertainment & event planning in San Diego County Longest-running magic show in San Diego history at the Corvette Diner from 1987-2002

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BADASS KOSHER l BY MICHAEL GARDINER

From Spain to Italy on a Plate: GOAT CHEESE STUFFED ZUCCHINI BLOSSOMS l SWEET PEA SAUCE

n the minds of most American children, 1492 is a landmark year. It was, after all, the year that Italian-born explorer Christopher Columbus “discovered” America sailing under the flag of the Spanish “Catholic Monarchs,” Ferdinand and Isabella. For Jewish American children, though, 1492 ought to be an important year for another reason. It was the beginning of one of the darker periods in our history. For the better part of a thousand years, Spain had been a home to Jews. While the precise circumstances of the origin of Jews in the Iberian Peninsula have been lost in time there is at least some evidence of Jewish presence on the peninsula dating to 22

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

pre-Roman times. By the Fourth Century of the Common Era the Decrees of the Council of Elvira specifically address Christian behavior toward Jews in Hispania. The life of Jews in Rome’s Western provinces was comparatively good. But it was not until the Muslim conquest of Iberia in 711 that the Jews in Iberia truly began to flower. The Golden Age of Sephardim came with the reign of Abd alRahman III (882-942), the Caliph of Cordoba and, in particular, his Jewish councilor, Hasdai ibn Shaprut (882-942). Hasdai’s influence with the Caliph led in both direct and indirect ways to a better life for Jews both on and off the peninsula.

But the Golden Age declined as the Reconquista–the Christian re-conquest of Islamic Iberia–progressed. By the time Ferdinand and Isabella retook Grenada, completing the Reconquista–the die was cast. On July 30, 1492 the Jewish community–some 200,000 strong–faced the choice of conversion or exile. Many chose the latter. Of those who did, quite a few found their way to Italy, where they joined the Italikim, one of the oldest Jewish communities in the world, most of whom had been in Italy since the destruction of the Second Temple and some as far back as the 2nd Century B.C.E. While the Italian Jews had not enjoyed the

BADASS KOSHER heights achieved by the Sephardim in Iberia, neither had they suffered the lows. Rather, they found themselves largely confined to ghettos in cities in Rome, Venice and Girona or largely Italian towns such as Pitigliano in Tuscany (known as “the little Jerusalem”) but otherwise largely left in peace. Jewish Italian cuisine was shaped by the foodstuffs left to them: small bony fish, disfavored vegetables such as artichokes, fennel, and zucchini. Jewish Italians “had to make the most out of what they had,” observed food historian Cara De Silva, “literally using parts of food that other people would probably throw away.” As famed Italian cookbook author Pellegrino Artusi wrote in La Scienza e L’Arte di Mangiar Bene (Firenze, 1910, Salvatore Landi Editore): Forty years ago one could hardly see eggplant and fennel on the Florentine market; they were considered vile foods of the Jews; the latter offering evidence here, as in more important issues, of having, better than Christians, a flair for discovering good things. Well known Italian dishes–such as caponata, fennel gratin, fritto misto, carciofi alla Guidia (artichokes Jewish style)–all trace their histories to Jews. Indeed, it may well have been Jews who championed the use of the tomato and, as Edda Servi Machlin suggested in her remarkable book The Classic Cuisine of the Italian Jews (Giro Press, 1981), even the ubiquitous pizza may trace its roots to Jewish influence (as the similarity of the words “pizza” and “pita” might suggest). One dish that undoubtedly has Jewish origins is fried stuffed zucchini (or squash) blossoms. Mine is a slightly lighter, unfried version. Traditionally, the blossoms are stuffed with a mixture of cheeses. Some combination amongst ricotta, mozzarella and Parmigiano-Reggiano is common. Instead, I chose to lace goat cheese with julienned basil and pair it with a sweet pea sauce. If you can find male blossoms rather than females, get them (if only for the more attractive presentation the stems offer).

Goat Cheese Stuffed Zucchini Blossoms | Sweet Pea Sauce Serves 4

INGREDIENTS For the Zucchini Blossoms: 16 zucchini (or squash) blossoms (3 per person plus several extra to guard against breakage and tearing) Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper 2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil For the Goat Cheese Filling: 10 ounces goat cheese 10 fresh basil leaves Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper 2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil for bushing the blossoms 2-3 more tablespoons olive oil for the pan (or, better yet, a silicone baking mat, e.g. Silpat) For the Sweet Pea Sauce: 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil 2 large (or 3 medium) shallots, finely chopped 2 cups chicken stock (plus 1 cup for thinning, as necessary) 1 cup dry white wine (such as Sauvignon Blanc or Albariño) 1 sprig fresh dill 1 1/2 cups freshly shelled peas (or, if you must, frozen) For the garnish: 4 tablespoons tomato sauce

DIRECTIONS 1. Prepare the squash blossoms. Preheat the oven to 375° Fahrenheit. Carefully inspect blossoms for insects, taking care not to get the blossoms wet or break the delicate petals. Snap off the pistils inside flowers using your fingertips. If the blossoms are male (they have stems rather than little baby zucchinis at the end, cut the stems to about 1-2 inches. 2. Make the filling. Julienne the basil leaves (cut them into long threads by rolling them up and slicing them). Mix the basil with the goat cheese, seasoning with the salt and pepper. Roll the cheese mixture a series of 2-3 tablespoon balls. 3. Stuff the blossoms. Put a ball of cheese inside each blossom. Arrange the stuffed

blossoms on a hotel pan or cookie sheet that is either lined with a silicon (e.g. Slipat brand) mat or brushed with the olive oil, and arrange on baking sheet. Brush blossoms with the olive oil, and season with Kosher salt. 4. Make the sweet pea sauce. Heat the olive oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the shallots and cook, stirring occasionally, until translucent, about 6 minutes. Add the dill, wine and chicken stock and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, until the stock is reduced by half, about 20 minutes. Season to taste with salt. Add the peas, bring the stock back to a simmer, and cook until tender but still bright green, about 4 minutes. Working in batches, puree the mixture in a blender, food processor (or, better yet, a high speed blender such as a Vitamix). Pass the pureed pea mixture through a fine-mesh strainer into a bowl set over ice. Thin the sauce with chicken stock (working 1 tablespoon at a time) until the sauce is just thicker than heavy cream. Stir the sauce with the added stock to generally determine the texture and then whisk just before using. 5. Cook the blossoms. Cook the stuffed blossoms for 7 to 10 minutes, until the petals just collapse onto the filling and they sizzle and slightly brown around the edges. 6. Plate the dish. Spoon two tablespoons of the sweet pea sauce in a pool at the center of the plate. Arrange three blossoms on the pool of sauce projecting into the plate (if using male blossoms the stems should project further outward). Garnish the top center of each set of blossoms with the tomato sauce. MICHAEL AARON GARDINER IS A FREELANCE WRITER AND LICENSED CALIFORNIA ATTORNEY LIVING IN SAN DIEGO. A GRADUATE OF AMHERST COLLEGE AND THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN SCHOOL OF LAW, GARDINER PRACTICES BUSINESS LAW AND LITIGATION DURING THE DAY AND COOKS AND WRITES BY NIGHT. HE IS ALSO THE AUTHOR OF “KOSHER FUSION: THE REBIRTH OF A TRADITION FOR THE MODERN KITCHEN,” A BOOK APPLYING THE LESSONS OF CONTEMPORARY, HIGH-END FUSION CUISINE TO TRADITIONAL JEWISH DIETARY LAWS IN ORDER TO FORGE A NEW KOSHER TRADITION IN THE MODERN JEWISH HOME KITCHEN. GARDINER IS CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A PUBLISHER FOR THE BOOK. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

HEALTH l BY HARRY KATCHER

Shabbat Shalom, Now Drop and Give me 20!

umba, Pilates, yoga, jogging, swimming, or watching TV–we all have our “go to” fitness regime (that last one is my pre-stretching activity). Why do we exercise? To clear our heads, to look great, to feel great or to burn off the dessert we indulged in last night? How about this: We should exercise because it’s our responsibility as Jews. Whoa! What?! Hold on, let me check the Ten Commandments. Let’s see, thou shalt not this, thou shalt not that… nope, not there. How about amongst our Jewish values? Let’s see, Tzedakah, Avodah, ah, here it is! The concept of Shmirat Ha’ guf– taking care of one’s body! This comes from the idea that we are all created in G-d’s image and therefore we have the responsibility to treat our bodies as a gift to be cherished. Hmmm… as I look in the mirror, I’m wondering if this gift is returnable. Over the years I’ve taken care of my body; sort of. I’ve provided it with kosher pastries and chocolate (dark chocolate, of course). And in exchange, my body has smiled. However, looking a bit closer, I see my smile has widened. My thoughts turn from bagels to a muffin top. OK, so let’s say that this is the year you

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

and I focus on Shmirat Ha’ guf–taking care of our bodies. And what a year it promises to be! The fitness trends for 2015 have emerged and it’s a veritable smorgasbord! (Can you tell I’m hungry?) There’s an activity to fit almost everyone’s tastes (there I go again!)– indoors, outdoors, jump, sit, squat, stretch, curl, sweat and relax. Oooh, I like that last one. Can you tell I’m not the most motivated person out there? Well, this year is going to be different because I have discovered the single most effective exercise out there! And that exercise is (drum roll please) “The one that you will do.” This bears repeating: The single most effective exercise out there is the one that you will do. If you’ll do it, then it’s the best choice. My wife likes to run. Me? I huff and puff. My friend likes to swim. Me? I splash and sink. I do, however, like strength training–lifting weights, feeling the pump. Yeah, me and Arnold in the gym! That’s my thing. That’s my area of interest. What’s yours? According to a recent survey conducted by the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM), here’s what your friends and neighbors are doing: Body Weight Training: Think push-ups,

planks and pull ups (or as I like to call them: just hanging there) High-Intensity Interval Training: Tabata, boot camps, etc. Strength Training: machines, free weights, kettle bells Yoga: Hatha, Vinyasa, Bikram, etc. Senior Fitness: water aerobics, stretch class Group Training: Pilates, spinning, and more in a group Outdoor Fitness: mud runs, fun runs, obstacle courses, or just going outside and breathing fresh air If you have children, take away their smart phones, game consoles and tablets and take the kids with you. If telling them they have a responsibility to G-d doesn’t work, tell them what I told my children: “It’s going to be so cool! Everything you’ll see outside will be in 3-D!” May you find your muse and exercise in good health! HARRY KATCHER IS THE DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS AND MARKETING FOR SAN DIEGO JEWISH ACADEMY AND IS ALSO A CERTIFIED PERSONAL FITNESS TRAINER.

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SENIORS l BY JUNE GLAZER l jns.org

BAR MITZVAH MEMORIAL PROJECT LINKS TEENS WITH HOLOCAUST VICTIMS

hen 12-year-old Max Levin was looking for a meaningful way to celebrate his upcoming bar mitzvah, he decided to do a project in Israel that did more than simply mark his comingof-age ceremony. His decision in 2006 created a unique link between today’s teens and their peers who died in the Holocaust before ever reaching that special milestone. “I used to come to Israel every year with my parents, partly because of my dad’s work, but mostly because our family is very Zionistic,” says Max, today a 22-year-old paratrooper and officer in the Israel Defense Forces. Max’s father, Bud Levin, is Jewish National Fund (JNF) vice president, Negev and Galil, and oversees organizational efforts in the southern and northern regions of Israel. In 2006, when the Levin family came to Israel searching for a bar mitzvah project, they eventually honed in on the Golden Books of Honor that JNF keeps at its offices 26

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

in Jerusalem. Max Levin recalled seeing those volumes that over the years have documented donations to JNF, and that by now contain more than 200,000 inscriptions. The “Golden Books” comprise the largest registry of names in the history of Zionism and bear testimony to communities since destroyed, to active Zionists, and to Jewish families. “One of these books contained the names of young people who, during the Holocaust, donated money in honor of their bar mitzvahs. When I asked my dad what happened to them, he told me they all died and that there’s nobody left to remember them. I was very moved and decided that for my project I would make sure that they were remembered,” says Levin, a Los Angeles native who made aliyah in 2012. To do this, he created the B’nai Mitzvah Remembrance Wall in American Independence Park, located in the verdant

Jerusalem hills near Beit Shemesh. The wall is shaped like a Torah scroll, and glass tiles representing donations to JNF are mounted on it, each inscribed with the individual name, hometown, and bar or bat mitzvah date of a modern-day honoree, as well as the name and home country of a “twin” from the Golden Book. Levin’s was the first tile, and he was twinned with Pinchas Cohen of Germany. “I had two goals in creating the wall. First, I wanted to remember Pinchas and to somehow continue the life that was taken from him. Second, I wanted kids looking for bar or bat mitzvah projects to do the same with other young Holocaust victims and in that way establish a link between them and those who perished,” Levin says. Since then, more than 150 boys and girls have followed Levin’s lead and commemorated their special day with teens and pre-teens whose names are inscribed in the Golden Book. For those who wish, JNF honors them

SENIORS

SERVING SENIORS: A Lifeline for San Diego’s Poorest Seniors By Paul Downey, President/CEO of Serving Seniors The B’nai Mitzvah Remembrance Wall in Jerusalem.

“...MAKE SURE THAT THEY

WERE REMEMBERED” and their donation with a ceremony at the Wall of Remembrance. One held recently feted four young American cousins, who gathered there with their parents, grandparents, and members of their extended families. “My tile is going to be here forever and I can come back years from now and show it to my children,” says Katie Kort of Phoenix, whose father, Ted, is a former JNF Arizona Region director. Katie’s brother, Ben, adds, “This gift is meaningful to me because it comes from my grandparents and because they gave it to me during my first time in Israel.” Levin attributes his appreciation of remembrance to his family. “My grandfather died when I was six, and on his yahrzeit every year we light a candle and speak about him,” he says. “I always felt it was an important and moving way to keep his memory alive.” That’s why, when he first learned about the young Holocaust victims, Levin’s reaction was almost innate. “I thought it wasn’t right that there was no one left to remember them,” he says. And with his grandfather in mind, he created a way to do just that. “Through the Wall of Remembrance, the names and lives of these kids will live on,” says Levin. “This is something I did for Pinchas, and now people are doing it for others. The wall is my contribution to Jewish continuity, and anyone who cares to join me in this commitment is welcome to.” Learn more about the B’nai Mitzvah Remembrance Wall by searching at JNF.org.

For the past 45 years, Serving Seniors has helped San Diego’s most vulnerable seniors remain healthy, independent and active members of the community. Our model of care, which emphasizes collaboration with other charitable organizations, has received national and international recognition. Serving Seniors offers an array of comprehensive services including nutritious meals, care management, health education, affordable housing and lifelong learning opportunities. Statistics show a startling two in five seniors in San Diego do not have enough money to meet their basic needs like food, rent and medications. The need for a warm meal is often what leads seniors to Serving Seniors and our relationship grows from there. Our services are in high demand because most of our seniors live on $850 per month and are in crisis mode when they arrive. The impact of our programs can be measured in lives saved and changed. We also take great pride that, by keeping seniors healthy, we reduce overall healthcare costs and save taxpayers money. We also take seriously the responsibility of not just providing direct services but advocating forcefully in Washington and Sacramento for favorable aging policies. I currently serve in leadership positions for several advocacy entities, including the California Commission on Aging, and have been a member of task forces on aging convened by the Jewish Federation and Jewish Community Foundation. With help from our generous supporters, Serving Seniors helps more than 5,000 seniors a year, but the need for our services will only continue to increase as the aging population grows and available resources dwindle. VISIT SERVINGSENIORS.ORG TO FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

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FEATURE

DURING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, A FRESH START AND NEW OPPORTUNITIES AT BASTYR UNIVERSITY CLINIC Naturopathic medicine in San Diego

As we move beyond Passover and observe/ celebrate Pesach Sheni this month, it is a time to embrace fresh starts, new opportunities and take the time to transform your life for the better. Now is the perfect time to learn about naturopathic medicine. Naturopathic medicine is a distinct primary health care profession, emphasizing prevention, treatment and optimal health through the use of therapeutic methods and substances that encourage your inherent self-healing process. The practice of naturopathic medicine includes modern and traditional, scientific and empirical methods. AMONG ITS PRINCIPLES:

• • • • • •

The healing power of nature Identify and treat the causes First do no harm Doctor as teacher Treat the whole person Prevention

These foundations of naturopathic medicine are the ones by which the doctors at Bastyr University Clinic in Sorrento Valley abide. The clinic and university opened its doors in San Diego in 2012, and in just a few years the clinic has established 28

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

itself as a place where providers can identify the root cause of a problem or prevent a problem before it starts, leading to not only a longer life but a better one for patients. THE DOCTORS AT BASTYR ARE TRAINED TO HANDLE AILMENTS LIKE:

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Cold and flu Headaches Injuries Sleep disorders Arthritis Chronic pain Allergies and asthma Diabetes Cardiovascular disease Fatigue Stress/anxiety Fibromyalgia Digestive disorders Hormonal imbalances Menopausal symptoms

Additionally, Bastyr University Clinic offers shifts with mind-body medicine experts, which allows you the opportunity to focus on the connection between your feelings and how it affects your body. The mind-body medicine team offers support for patients dealing with mild depression,

anxiety, stress, relationship issues, chronic health conditions and other concerns. Some commonly used tools include relaxation techniques, meditation, mindfulness, guided imagery, journaling and drawing combined with talk therapy. The Bastyr University Clinic also offers a flat rate of $20 to seniors, military members and students, making getting and staying well even more affordable. During this holy time of year, emphasis is placed on food, family and transforming health, all aspects that resonate with naturopathic medicine. Why not celebrate by making a visit to Bastyr University Clinic and learning how to improve your own life? There will be a number of special deals and events throughout May and June, and we invite you to experience them yourself: May 9: Well-Women Exam Day for $20 May 26: Living Naturally Talk on Detox (free) June 2: Living Naturally Talk on Menopause (free) Through June 30: $20 Mind-Body Medicine visits BASTYR UNIVERSITY CLINIC IS THE TEACHING CLINIC OF BASTYR UNIVERSITY CALIFORNIA, OFFERING COMPREHENSIVE FAMILY HEALTH CARE TO THE SAN DIEGO COMMUNITY. LICENSED NATUROPATHIC DOCTORS WORK CLOSELY WITH ADVANCED STUDENT CLINICIANS TO DELIVER HIGH-QUALITY NATUROPATHIC PRIMARY CARE, MINDBODY MEDICINE, PHYSICAL MEDICINE AND NUTRITION SERVICES. EXPERTS ON THE SELFHEALING PROCESS, THEY BLEND CENTURIESOLD KNOWLEDGE OF NATURAL THERAPIES WITH CURRENT CLINICAL RESEARCH ON HEALTH AND HUMAN SYSTEMS. SINCE OPENING IN 2012, THE CLINIC HAS ALREADY EXPANDED ITS PATIENT CARE FACILITY AND HAS PLANS TO OFFER ADDITIONAL NATURAL HEALTH SERVICES IN THE FUTURE.

BY STEPHANIE LEWIS l HUMOR

mazel &

mishagoss Look Who’s Talking

f our favorite Jewish delicacies could talk…

MANISCHEWITZ: Welcome to our Jewish

Cuisine Support Group. Remember: What happens in the Goldberg fridge stays in the Goldberg fridge! And we might get some toaster-oven action today. Now, who’s speaking first? I will. Oy, “Jewish Penicillin?!” Such pressure to live up to! And now there’s “Chicken Soup For The Soul” books. What’s next? CHICKEN

SOUP:

SUFGANIOT: At least you get served often.

Some of us holiday foods only come out eight nights a year. I’m a shut-in, I tell you. And nobody pronounces my real name correctly. Just “Jelly Donut.” Forever mistaken for a common peasant from Krispy Kreme. CHALLAH: Quit your griping. Families don’t

break bread with you regularly because you’re too oily. Cholesterol is your middle name.

and recited a special prayer? BRISKET: Alright, enough already! Can we

stick to our issues? I have a big confession. I fell off the wagon so it’s back to AA meetings for me.

KUGEL: Lox. Prices went up and he never

sees her anymore. She’s totally hot, too.

BAGEL: You mean … ?

Not really hot. But definitely smokin’. And I miss how she’d say, “I’ve got you covered, Poppy.” That was her nickname for me.

BRISKET: Yes. Last night Mrs. Goldberg

MATZO: Poppy Seed Bagel is co-dependent.

added beer to my recipe.

BAGEL:

HAMANTASCHEN: Terrible! But try being

named after an evil villain everyone boos. Talk about inferiority complexes.

I should know. I thought I was nobody unless I was “Matzo Brie.” She turned out to be a bad egg. Now I go solo to Seders. No butter and salt. I don’t need chocolate toffee toppings. Just plain me. People respect that.

GINGERBREAD: I can’t relate to any of this

CHOPPED LIVER: You guys are the best

and I’m feeling confused.

CREAM CHEESE: Of course you’re confused.

The Christmas Food Support Group meets in a different kitchen on Tuesdays. You can hang with the rest of the fruitcakes. But beware, their leader constantly brags. She’s a real ham. KUGEL: Let’s talk about relationships. I hear Gefilte fish and cooked carrots are an item.

thing since sliced bread. But what am I, chopped liver? MANISCHEWITZ: I think we all have a lot

on our plates and … Oh no! Here come the Goldbergs! We don’t wanna give them any more food for thought. I hear they’re going Organic. Shhhh!

NOODLE LATKE: Who you calling oily? What’s wrong

with a little Chanukah miracle? Stop being so holier than thou or I’ll drop you like a hot potato. CHALLAH: Ya wanna piece of me?? I am holy.

When’s the last time anyone covered you with a pretty cloth made by a preschooler

BAGEL: Well I’m lonely. There’s an empty

hole ever since she left. I know, I know. I still have my cream cheese, but it’s not enough.

STEPHANIE D. LEWIS IS A REGULAR CONTRIBUTOR FOR THE HUFFINGTON POST AND HER HUMOR BLOG CAN BE FOUND ONLINE AT ONCEUPONYOURPRIME.COM HER BOOK, “LULLABIES & ALIBIS” IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER @ MISSMENOPAUSE

ISRAELI SALAD: Who’s he referring to? WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

SENIORS l BY MAXINE DOVERE l jns.org

LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST Tips from Dr. Ruth 30

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

SENIORS

r. Ruth Westheimer, the Holocaust survivor turned internationally known sex educator, gave an interview with JNS.org in 2012. Now 86 years old, she reviewed her best tips for senior living—including cultivating relationships with adult children and grandchildren, finding a partner (and enjoying life without one), and being practical when it comes to finances. Born Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany, the woman now known as “Dr. Ruth” saw her father arrested by Nazis and says a final goodbye to her mother as she boarded a Kindertransport rescue train to Switzerland. By 17, she was in the British mandate of Palestine on a kibbutz, and, later in Jerusalem, the diminutive teenager became a sniper for the Haganah forces. A bombing on the night of her 20th birthday left her badly wounded, but she recovered and went on to study at Paris’s Sorbonne, as well as the New School and Columbia University (for a doctorate in education) in New York. Three marriages (two brief ones, followed by the last to Manfred Westheimer for more than 30 years), two children (Miriam and Joel), and a self-designed and determined persona later, the octogenarian found herself in a theater in Western Massachusetts, watching an on-stage portrayal of her life. “I had to pinch myself a few times to realize that I was in the audience and not on stage,” Dr. Ruth Westheimer says. A self-created, resilient survivor, Dr. Ruth became an internationally known sex educator at a time when many consider retirement. Dr. Ruth’s essential focus is living as fully as possible. “People have to be active, to do things,” she says. “Do a new activity every single day. Take a course, go to a concert, make sure to keep a relationship with a neighbor—to schmooze a little, not just to cry on someone’s shoulder. If you have to cry, go to a professional; no one wants to hear about problems.” She is a firm proponent of continuous growth and change. “Things have changed since ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ or ‘Fear of Flying.’ Establish a new vocabulary,” she advises. “Read books; look at sexually arousing material.”

Dr. Ruth recommends 50 Shades of Gray —“all three volumes.” “If someone doesn’t like it, you can close the chapter,” she says. “If [she] does like it, the book proves the point that woman can get aroused.” Whether they are young or old, most singles would like to be doubles. JNS.org asked Dr. Ruth what she recommends to help people—especially seniors—find partners. “Be involved! Go to concerts, performances, lectures—events of interest. Women have to take the risk of being the one to start a relationship, to say to a man ‘would you like to go for a coffee. If the answer is ‘no,’ go on to the next one!” she says. If partnership is not possible, Dr. Ruth advises, “find a place that will be enjoyable, and give you some satisfaction—even if you don’t meet a partner.” Even for those seniors lucky enough to find an emotional partner, establishing a physical relationship can sometimes be difficult. “Even older people should go to see a sex therapist,” says Dr. Ruth. “Very often, a problem is something physical. Go to your family physician or gynecologist. Use whatever physical or mechanical aide is needed. Engage in sex in the morning. Do not have expectations that he can hang from a chandelier!” “Don’t ask me about my sex life!” she added. “You will not get an answer. I don’t ask intimate questions except of my patients.” What, asked JNS.org, if one does remain alone and does not find a new partner? “People have an obligation to themselves,” Dr. Ruth says. “If they feel a sexual urge and are alone, they should get used to the idea of masturbating—even to orgasm. They will be more satisfied—have a different way of walking. Of course it’s not the same as with a partner—that’s true. But, I am someone who stands with two feet in reality: make the best of it! No one will be helped by crying about things they cannot change.” That, says Dr. Ruth, includes adult children. “They will never understand,” she says. “You have to cultivate your relationship with your adult children and grandchildren. Call them. Ask ‘do you have

a moment?’ Don’t say, ‘you didn’t come to see me.’ Say ‘whatever is convenient—that fits with your plans.’ Be flexible. Go to a coffee shop. Let them know, ‘I would like to see you…I’ll take the time you can give me and be satisfied.’” The same “children” who may have little time to spend with a parent, often have much to say about a parent’s new partner. Says Dr. Ruth, while the new partner “will never replace the father or mother, never be an intimate part of the family,” children should be “civil and polite” and recognize that the mother or father’s companion makes life easier. “One would never go on the assumption the partner will be an intimate part of the family.” Dr. Ruth is essentially a practical realist. She says companionship, perhaps even romance, adds much to living; so do existing assets. “It’s very important for an older person who finds a new partner to write a detailed arrangement about money,” she says. “The children won’t have fears—even in their subconscious—that the inheritance from their parent will go to the partner’s family. You don’t need a fancy lawyer. Go to someone who can witness a legal agreement assuring that money will remain separate. In today’s contentious world, it is essential; an agreement is very important to calm any fear. Documentation is especially important when there is any unusual circumstance, such as when a grandparent is responsible for a minor child. Everything must be written. No one can foresee the future.” The experience of being a senior—she is 86 and a widow—is one Dr. Ruth shares with many in her audience. Yet, she is clearly a work in progress. This summer, she will present Vin d’Amore, a Californiabottled line of low alcohol wines—available in red, white, and rosé, of course—replete with her picture on the label. “I tell people to drink a little, then have sex,” Dr. Ruth says. “But,” she cautioned, “not too much— she falls asleep and he can’t perform. With wine, less is more.” “Sherry Lansing,” she added, “says ‘not to retire but to re-wire.’ It’s very important. It’s exactly what I am doing.” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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S Heart & Soul Gala Auction Chairs: Kira Finkenberg, Staci Tiras-Jones, and Susan Kleinman Monk

NOW WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

MORE THAN $1,150,000 RAISED AT GALA TO SUPPORT THE COMMUNITY WORK OF JEWISH FAMILY SERVICES OF SD

On Saturday, March 28, 2015, Jewish Family Service of San Diego welcomed more than 600 guests to its annual Heart & Soul Gala at the Hyatt Regency La Jolla. This year’s theme, “Embracing Community,” celebrated the extraordinary accomplishments of 2015 Mitzvah Honorees Ernest & Evelyn Rady, Ron S. Zollman, and the agency’s special partnership with Susan G. Komen, San Diego. The Heart & Soul Gala is a major fundraiser for Jewish Family Service, which provides individuals and families across San Diego with a wide range of human services to support their financial, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual health. The record-setting evening raised more than $1,150,000—including a generous gift from Evelyn & Ernest Rady. The funds raised will benefit Jewish Family Service’s work to empower individuals & families to move toward self-sufficiency, support aging with dignity, and foster community connection & engagement across San Diego. The 2015 Heart & Soul Gala was co-chaired by Heather Keith and Karin & Tony Toranto, with Auction Co-Chairs Kira Finkenberg, Susan Kleiman Monk, and Staci Tiras-Jones. The event featured a hosted cocktail reception, live and silent auction, and exclusive performances by Michael Tiernan and the University of Southern California’s Troy Tones A Cappella. With the generous support of the 2015 Gala underwriters, auction donors, and attendees, JFS will continue to say “We’re With You” to every person who turns to the agency in search of a better life. To learn more about the event, visit JFSSD.org/gala. 32

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

SAN DIEGO-PANAMA COOPERATION GETS JEWISH SUPPORT

San Diego Mayor Kevin L. Faulconer and Speaker of the California State Assembly Toni G. Atkins announced the beginning of a collaboration agreement with the City of Panama through the San Diego Sister Cities Association (SanDisca) in April. The Sister City mission is to promote an exchange of resources and interests between cities in the areas of investment, trading, arts, education and the creation of sister schools. To date, about 75% of the donations for this program come from Jewish businesses, investors and political leaders. Panama is awakening the interest of foreign Jewish investors since the country has a fast-growing Jewish businessoriented population who enjoy of the freedoms and liberties of a government who protects and supports their interests, compared with other countries in Latin America.

CINEMA UNDER THE STARTS’ MAY OFFERINGS

Movie Cinema Under the Stars celebrates classic films in May, offering two of the best for audiences at their Mission Hills location, 4040 Goldfinch Street. Alfred Hitchcock’s “Suspicion” plays Thursday, May 28 and Friday, May 29 at 8 p.m. and is a sinister domestic chiller about an innocent young woman (Joan Fontaine) who marries a dashing but secretive gentleman (Cary Grant) after a whirlwind courtship. Love dissolves into distrust; as the new bride fears her husband may be capable of murder. “The Sound of Music” plays Saturday, May 30 and Sunday, May 31 at 8 p.m. Relive the magic of Rodgers & Hammerstein’s pulsating musical drama. The talented von Trapp Family Singers plot their escape from the Nazis with the help of their governess (Julie Andrews). Admission is $15; $17 with online reservations. (cash or check only; credit cards are only used to reserve your seats.) Online reservations begin at 9 a.m. on the Wednesday prior to the showing. Box office opens at 6 p.m. Thursday-Sunday. Popcorn, candy and assorted beverages are $2 each. A classic cartoon will be shown before each film. For more information, call (619) 295-4221 or visit TopsPresents.com.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • MAY 2015

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