L'Chaim September 2015 by L'Chaim San Diego Magazine

SEPTEMBER 2015

HIGH HOLIDAYS

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Features 12 A Thousand Words Keeper of the Castle

High Holidays 16 Repentance Via Twitter 20 Yom Kippur-Christmas 22 Which Month Marks the Jewish New Year

24 Beyond the High Holidays Your Jewish Life

Education 28 Class in Session 30 Big Picture Vision 32 Major Jewish Groups 34 Christian Funding Provides Lifeline to Jewish Schools in Former Soviet Union

Food 26 A Raw Vegan Dish Gone Bad Lamb and Bulgar Meatballs, Cashew Paté, Spicy Tomato Chutney

L’Chaim 42 Not Your Bubbie’s Federation Headlines 36 News to Know Now Columns 6 My Comic Relief 8 What Jew Mean 10 Of the Book 45 Mazel & Mishagoss PUBLISHERS Diane Benaroya & Laurie Miller EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alanna Maya CREATIVE DIRECTOR Laurie Miller

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Copyright 2015 L’Chaim San Diego LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any CONTRIBUTORS means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without Yigal Adato, Daniel Bortz, Stephanie Lewis, the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in Rita Mailheau, Salomon Maya, Sharon critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission Rapoport, Eva Trieger, Deborah Vietor requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator” to: publisher@ lchaimmagazine.com ©

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RANDOM RANTS l BY SALOMON MAYA I too, sans the actual physical carrying of the fetus, am pregnant.

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am going to be a father. In fact, by the time you are reading this, I will already be a father. As the wife and I enter the final stretch of our pregnancy, it’s plain to see that becoming first time parents truly is a marathon, and in the grand scheme of things, we’re barely lacing up the running shoes. THE BIG REVEAL The first time I saw my future child was January 16, 2015, an approximately nine week old fetus. It lightly fluttered and resembled one of those little key chain gnomes I used to play with as a kid. The last thing it looked like was human. There was a part of me that questioned whether this thing was mine or if the wife had had an extra-terrestrial marital affair. We left the first ultrasound feeling more lost than ever. Those damn Target pregnancy tests were right. We were going to be parents. Four months post-wedding, this wasn’t planned, this wasn’t in the cards. I just wasn’t ready. This thing growing inside of the wife was early! And for the first time, I felt resentment, I felt anger … I felt fear. THE BIG ANKLES Eight months later, the belly is full and the once alien-like thing fluttering at nine weeks now much more closely resembles a human. I now know the wife didn’t have a fling with E.T. I’ve built the IKEA furniture along with the Amazon crib. I’ve taken the Lamaze classes and read (more like skimmed) the baby books the wife has given me to read. I have tried to massage the fluid building up in the wife’s growing ankles. I have had

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

to learn words like latching, Braxton-hicks, and mucus plug. I have gained weight right along with the wife. I too, sans the actual physical carrying of the fetus, am pregnant. I have cried more, laughed more and eaten way more pickles. I have said some pretty idiotic nonsensical things that I have quickly blamed on “pregnant brain.” And now after all the small little wins … from completing an IKEA dresser with no extra bolts to successfully going on the hospital tour and accidentally hitting the emergency button causing alarms and nurses to quickly chime in with frantic “may I assist

you’s,” I think I’m ready. I think I’m good. I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to be a good dad. I’m going to have a son. And I’m going to love him. I will never though … ever … wear dad jeans (sorry Wrangler). Publisher’s Note: At the time of publication, we are happy to announce that Salomon and Alanna had a healthy little boy, Jacob Zayne Maya. We wish them all the best. Mazel Tov, you two! SALOMON MAYA IS A LOCAL ACTOR AND PLAYWRIGHT. FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER @SALOMAYA.

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SPIRITUAL l BY YIGAL ADATO

what

jew mean

It isn’t about just enjoying the goal but every step of the process...

3 Lessons Fatherhood has Taught Me

lmost two months ago, my daughter Taly was born. I have never been so nervous and excited at the same time for anything. The feeling of being responsible for and raising a child and being a good father was overwhelming. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been in leadership roles throughout my life, but none as important as being a father. Being a leader means setting a good example, you lead with passion and emotional intelligence, but this is different. My daughter will look up to me and learn from my actions; she will be molded by the way I treat her and the things I do. In the short time I have been a father, along with sleepless nights and learning how to raise a baby, I have learned 3 important lessons. 1. LISTENING

Leadership is about listening. You get so many clues when you stop and listen carefully. My daughter cries when she is hungry, tired or has a dirty diaper and even though it is hard to tell, there are slight differences in the way she cries to let us know what she needs. There are times she just cries to be held, and in those times I dance with her and even sing to her so she calms down. When you truly listen to what the other person is saying, you dance and flow together as opposed to fighting and making things difficult. With adults, we 8

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

have language, words and even expressions to draw from in communications; with a newborn there is nothing and as a parent you must listen carefully and search for what is needed in the situation. Listening is key and if you just stop and relax you can communicate with anybody, even your newborn. 2. PATIENCE

We all grow up fantasizing about what job we will have, what kind of house we will live in, or even what type of person we will marry. The hardest thing is to consider that your plans may not go as envisioned. It takes a true leader to be able to roll with the punches and be flexible when it comes to situations that are out of our control. Having a baby is a huge shift for my wife and me. We have planned many times to leave the house, only to find that it is impossible to have things go the way you plan. That is the beauty of a baby; they teach us that sometimes we aren’t in control and that sometimes plans change. We must adapt to that shift in order to not stress and live happy lives. This is what patience is all about: Being able to adapt and sometimes just sit still as your daughter still needs to feed or isn’t ready to get into the car seat with a smile. 3. LOVE

Never did I envision that a person who

projectile vomits and poops all over me would still have me so in love. Never did I imagine that whatever happens, I would still love to the degree that I do with my daughter. I smile every time she makes a noise, moves differently, or smiles even though I know it’s only a reflex. Leadership is just the same. It isn’t about just enjoying the goal but every step of the process and finding joy in the little moments and celebrating the small accomplishments. If you love at every moment there isn’t space for anger or hate. These three lessons I have known to be a cornerstone to leadership but it wasn’t until now, when I have a beautiful baby to take care of and smile with every day that these lessons have been deeply ingrained in me. My goal is to listen more than ever, to be more patient then I have ever needed to be and to love unconditionally (even with puke on my shirt). These High Holidays, I won’t ask for me but for her and for my wife, who has been incredible and amazing during this whole process. I will ask for her safety, her health and for us to have more patience and love. I wish you all a Shana Tova and thank you for reading! CONNECT WITH YIGAL ON TWITTER @YIGALADATO.

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TORAH l BY RABBI DANIEL BORTZ

of the

book

“G-d Does the same thing. He hides and no one searches.”

The High Holidays in Perspective

s we near the High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, many may begin to feel some apprehension, looking at these days of judgment as serious and heavy. While it’s true that this is an especially holy time to connect to G-d, make an accounting of our deeds and make resolutions to do better for the coming year, let’s take a look at this unique time of the year from a deeper perspective. The Sages teach us that Rosh Hashanah contains within it the energy and potential of the entire coming year. Even in its name, Rosh means “head,” and like the head that contains within it a connection to the rest of the body, directing every minute detail and limb, so too in time does Rosh Hashanah affect the year. This is why it’s so important on Rosh Hashanah to not only reflect on the past, but to be present and look to the future, joyously asking G-d to be our king for another year, genuinely asking for a renewed relationship for this year. Many things are taken for granted. When

we turn on our sink, we expect water will emerge from the tap. A child who opens the refrigerator expects to find food on its shelves. In truth, neither the water nor the food appears on its own. There is a wellstaffed company that maintains the water pipes and pumps necessary to draw water from the reservoir into the residential home, and loving parents who invest incredible amounts of energy and care to always maintain a full refrigerator. This kind of recognition and gratitude must be internalized on Rosh Hashanah, that all that we have in health, wealth and happiness, is a blessing, not a given. And we ask for these blessings not only for ourselves, but in order to best affect the world around us for the better. Indeed, it is significant that Rosh Hashanah is celebrated on the first day of Tishrei, the day of the forming of Adam and Eve, on the sixth day of the creation process. Surely it marks the beginning of life and time, and thus should be celebrated five days earlier, right? But the reason we celebrate

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

the existence of the universe on the sixth day, says the Torah, is because the entire purpose of creation and life is for man and woman to raise it up to its best potential. To form a kind, moral, G-d conscious society, raising the spiritual sparks and potential all around us to fruition. When Yom Kippur arrives, our focus may be less on G-d and prayer and more on which Jamba Juice flavor to break our fast on. But let’s make sure not to let this special period of time pass by without taking advantage of its spiritual potential. There once was a Rabbi sitting in his home learning. Suddenly, his young son burst into the room sobbing loudly. He asked him what had happened. “I was playing hide and go seek with my friends, and I was chosen to hide. I hid and hid and hid, and no one came to look for me!” The boy’s father then began to cry as well. Seeing the confusion on his son’s face, he explained: “G-d Does the same thing. He hides and no one searches.” G-d isn’t openly seen or revealed. But from the Ocean waves to the tiny ladybug to our beating heart, down to the Divine providence in our personal life stories, He reveals Himself. In whatever language we pray in during these high holidays, let us try and reflect on where we see G-d in our own lives, looking forward to a beautiful year ahead of growth and happiness. RABBI DANIEL BORTZ IS THE DIRECTOR OF JTEEN SAN DIEGO, JTEENSD.COM. FOR INFORMATION ON CLASSES, CONTACT HIM AT DANIELBORTZ@GMAIL.COM.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

L’CHAIM

A THOUSAND

WORDS KEEPER OF THE CASTLE FOR SAN DIEGO’S WATER: Coastkeeper’s Megan Baehrens

to life. We are not just protecting oceans, fish, birds and streams, but protecting a way of life. Here, we do not have to search for meaning, there are seven paid staff members and thousands of volunteers. Our programs are molded to benefit everyone because water is important to every sector in San Diego County. With passion and drive, we have worked on the issues surrounding the drought, polluted water, changing policy and collaborative efforts regarding recycled water. L’CHAIM: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WITH COASTKEEPER AND WHAT KEEPS YOU HERE? MB: I have been with Coastkeeper for more

egan Baehrens, Executive Director of San Diego Coastkeeper draws on 10 years of experience in nonprofit management and oversees the fundraising, financial and operational aspects of the San Diego Coastkeeper. She holds an MBA with a focus on non-profit management from the Yale School of Management and an international business degree from Georgetown University. A native San Diegan, Baehrens continues to live and play at the water’s edge. Her passionate belief in the public’s right to and responsibility for clean water—whether salt, brackish, fresh or for drinking, drives her leadership of San Diego Coastkeeper. Megan is known for her collaborative style of management and for connecting well with various organizations, staff and Board of Directors. Since 2009, Megan has raised an annual budget of $1 million and created philanthropy and

community opportunities for corporate partnerships, events and volunteers. L’CHAIM sat down with Baehrens to learn more about the organization, how to continue to keep our waterways safe for drinkable, fishable and swimmable waters, and how to conserve water for the future. L’CHAIM MAGAZINE: LET’S START OUT WITH A LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT COASTKEEPER. TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE ALL ABOUT AND WHOM THE ORGANIZATION BENEFITS IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY. MEGAN BAEHRENS: Coastkeeper is

a watchdog organization to help the community collaborate; started in 1995 by a brave group who did not want polluted water in our homes. We are a local, community-based advocacy group improving the waters for San Diego. I learn something new every day and develop new relationships. Water is so fundamental

than six years and started in Business Development, providing fundraising for three years. As Executive Director, I have been offered a tremendous opportunity to work with staff who are well-educated, happy to be here and can direct their own programs. We can train the best and brightest and work together as partners, as opposed to serving as merely an employer. We are interested in people as people as they are as much of our tapestry as our advocacy work. L’CHAIM: HOW CAN SAN DIEGANS CONNECT WITH COASTKEEPER? MB: We offer a wide variety of ways to

engage, from beach clean ups, to grade school internships for up to 40 hours per week. We have ways to develop a common sense of purpose, working with the City Council and our Board of Directors. There are many more ways for the community to engage to create more clean water for all, and people who are interested in getting involved should reach out to us to get there. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

L’CHAIM

Check it out

SDCoastkeeper.org

L’CHAIM: PLEASE SHARE SOME OF YOUR NEW PROGRAMS. MB: Throughout the San Diego Unified

School District there is a K-12 program called Project SWELL and outside the school district, we’ll soon launch Water Kits For All. This program will empower anyone who wants to teach about water quality and the program can be adjusted as needed. The information can be downloaded easily and comes with hands-on models. We work with organizations such as the YMCA and Boys and Girls Club and share seven different lesson plans in a program for educators that can be implemented in classrooms for kindergarten through high school with lesson plans, field trips and hands on lab projects for students. L’CHAIM: WHAT CAN WE DO AS CITIZENS TO HEAL THE WATER SITUATION IN SAN DIEGO COUNTY? MB: The number one message is to redefine

what a beautiful San Diego looks like. Tropical trees, big lawns and fruit trees may change to a landscape that looks more like Torrey Pines, with beautiful, flowering bushes and a landscape utilizing significantly less water. Many residents and 14

businesses have stepped up, replacing turf lawns with drought tolerant options. The main pollution problem has been runoff. Every house, business and street contributes to runoff. When plants are irrigated, pools are cleaned, cars are washed and pollutants are added, this creates runoff; which goes into our natural waterways. How healthy are sea lions, birds and fish when ammonia and phosphates are added to the water? Nurseries without proper storm water management practices can contribute to the problem. We need strong laws regarding dumping and storm drains, too. We are not talking about wholesale changes here; we need to be strategic. With planned communities, everyone will have access to parks and smaller backyards. Just a few simple landscape changes could make a significant difference in water conservation. L’CHAIM: COASTKEEPER’S 18TH ANNUAL SEASIDE SOIRÉE EVENT IS APPROACHING. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE AND FOCUS? MB: With this fundraiser, we will bring the

community together to implement future clean water options. Our sponsors fund the party and we will have an auction.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

This is really a time to celebrate for the organization, considering all the good work which has been accomplished regarding clean water and conservation in San Diego as we look forward to future programs. Robert Kennedy Jr. is our keynote speaker for the event, and he has really stepped forward as an advocate and President of the Waterkeeper Alliance, an international advocacy organization empowering 252 local Waterkeeper programs in 29 countries, defending local waterways from pollution. Their mission supports swimmable, drinkable, fishable waterways worldwide. In 1999, he formed the Waterkeeper Alliance, building on a movement that began in the 1970s with the first Riverkeeper on the Hudson River. RFK Jr. is the Chief Prosecuting Attorney for Riverkeeper according to their website, and was named “Hero of the Planet” by Time magazine for his success in helping Riverkeeper lead the fight to restore the Hudson River. L’CHAIM: WHAT DO THE NEXT 20 YEARS LOOK LIKE FOR COASTKEEPER? MB: We need to secure a water supply and

educate people regarding how they view water. We need to shine a light on solutions we know; building the community will and political will. We will bring industrial polluters who are dirtying our water to task. We need to lead common sense water conservation measures and identify innovative new water management practices like recycling and storm water capture. To this end, we have trained 300 citizen scientists investigating the impact and root causes of urban runoff strangling our water quality. For more information regarding how to promote clean water and conserve water in San Diego County, visit: SDCoastkeeper.org

HIGH HOLIDAYS 2015 l BY ALINA DAIN SHARON jns.org

Repentance Via Twitter Can Yom Kippur atonement be accomplished in 140 characters or less?

oming from a non-observant family of Jewish immigrants from the former Soviet Union to Israel, a country where many people tend to lead secular lifestyles to begin with, I wasn’t raised in a particularly religious environment. In fact, I can count on fewer than five fingers the times that I stepped foot in a synagogue during my childhood. But one aspect of the Jewish faith that has always appealed to me, and likely appeals to many other Jews—religious and non-religious alike—is its introspective morality. Every fall season, we look back on the past year in advance of Yom Kippur, determine whom we have wronged, and

try to atone for our interpersonal sins with sincere apologies. Around the time of Yom Kippur last year, I felt that I had unintentionally offended an old friend of mine. I then decided to make an apology. Belief in God or prayer aside, this felt to me like the decent thing to do. Without too much thought about the medium, I made the apology through a Facebook message. Although the apology was accepted, I later questioned whether I had handled this the right way. In the fast-paced world we live in today, in which many social interactions are already conducted online, can apologizing on social media be considered true atonement? To

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

find out, I surveyed Jewish religious leaders across denominations on the subject. Popular Jewish blogger and social media expert Rabbi Jason Miller strongly argues against technology-facilitated atonement. “I’m a fan of face-to-face communication or, when not possible, a phone call. It’s important for people to hear your voice when you apologize. Sending an email, text message, or Facebook message is a good start, but it’s not sufficient for the performance of teshuvah (atonement),” Miller says. Yet Miller does acknowledge that “our communication preferences change as new technology emerges,” which “means

HIGH HOLIDAYS 2015

that what our society considers acceptable for sincere communication, like asking for forgiveness before Yom Kippur, also changes.” “There was a time when it wouldn’t be considered appropriate to perform teshuvah over the phone,” Miller says. “That changed as people moved farther away and there were not opportunities for face-to-face communication. Soon, email and then texting became ‘tacky’ ways of performing teshuvah—until these were the most common ways that we engage with each other.” Even so, Miller maintains that face-toface communication should remain the preferred mode of teshuvah, because it is much more difficult to ask for repentance in person. In fact, according to Rabbi Joshua Rabin, director of kehilla enrichment (organizational development) at the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, people often tend to apologize via social media “because sometimes it’s just easier to type a message to somebody than to look them in the eye.” Rabin says that these days, when “more and more people use technology—whether it’s text messaging or social media— to communicate with each other about important things, it actually is all the more reason why a face-to-face personal apology is the most meaningful thing you can do. It’s that much different from the typical option.” But there’s one exception, Rabin argues: “if the wrong you committed was actually through social media.” “If you were to write a really nasty tweet about somebody… I think that any teshuvah process should involve your actually apologizing through that medium to begin the process, because that’s where the wrong was committed,” he says. Rabbi Roni Handler, director of community learning for the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College and executive editor of RitualWell.org—a website committed to blending Jewish tradition with innovation—also believes that if the sin being atoned for is directly connected to social media, “there’s actually something really powerful about stating that [apology] online.”

“If we are atoning for something like spending too much time on social media and not paying attention to our family, then putting out a statement like that might serve to hold us accountable and show our recognition of having a problem in this area,” Handler says. “But it shouldn’t be that we just state it and then go back to our regular behavior,” she adds. “That, in fact, is not doing teshuvah according to any Jewish scholar.” In the Reconstructionist movement, explains Handler, “we value community a lot, and obviously the face-to-face community is really special and powerful… But we are always thinking about other ways in which we can connect as well. I don’t know that [social media] should replace face-to-face connection, but we do recognize that community is important and there are a lot of different ways to connect.” Handler believes there is a difference between posting a public apology on social media and sending a direct social media message to an individual. Posting a public apology has its place and value, though in many cases it should be just the first step on the way to teshuvah, says Handler. Regarding direct messages on social media, their suitability for atonement “depends on the relationship itself,” she says. “There is a lot that can end up being misconstrued in writing, whether it is in an email, in a text or online… Something that people might be writing quickly because they’re running out of the door, might come out as curt or angry. So… when one is making teshuvah, having the proper intention is so important for that. If the relationship that you have is one that you feel an email could be sufficient [for an apology] …then in that case maybe that would be okay,” Handler says. Rabbi Esther Lederman, director of communities of practice at the Union for Reform Judaism, also cautions against making a mass apology on social media because forgiveness in the Jewish tradition must be sought “directly from the person you have hurt” and is “also about repairing the relationship, which can’t be done anonymously.” Additionally, when it comes to apologizing to someone directly via social media, Lederman believes that the medium

is less significant than the intention of the apology. “I’ve had very meaningful exchanges by chat and email, although I am also someone who prefers to communicate with a person by voice,” she says. Lederman says she fears a world in which “technology will replace the real human to human contact that is necessary for sacred engagement.” If this occurs, she says, “What is the point in gathering together as a community at an appointed time? I believe there is a sacred purpose to that and I don’t want email, Facebook, or Twitter to ever replace this.” The social media editor of Chabad.org, Rabbi Mordechai Lightstone, emphasizes that the most important aspect of atoning for interpersonal transgressions is understanding that forgiveness in Judaism centers on how the aggrieved person receives the apology. If that person feels they were apologized to in the right way, then whatever the medium is becomes less significant. “When we wish to truly convey the emotional impact of our words, we must make sure we truly understand how they will appear,” Lightstone says. That appearance, in turn, will differ depending on whoever is receiving the apology. “To some, nothing short of a phone call before Yom Kippur would be considered a serious and honest form of asking forgiveness,” says Lightstone. “To others, the very thought of a phone call would be considered unnecessary and even socially awkward. It takes a true understanding of who your friends are to really know the best way to reach out.” Lightstone, therefore, is unlikely to consider my aforementioned decision to apologize to my friend via Facebook as invariably wrong, as long as the apology was truly accepted. “If I’m able to truly convey my heartfelt remorse with an emoji and a short message, and I know that the person receiving it will be fully comforted or even prefer that text [over a phone call or face-to-face apology], then I’m happy to do so,” Lightstone says.

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HIGH HOLIDAYS 2015 l BY MAAYAN JAFFE jns.org

YOM KIPPUR-CHRISTMAS IS THE COMPARISON NAUGHTY OR NICE?

“It’s said that during this time [between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur], the Book of Life is open and it’s decided who will live and who will die this year,” writes blogger Derek Powazek, whose posts focus on being young and Jewish. “As a kid, I imagined it like Santa’s list of naughty and nice, just with more severe consequences.” For many Americans, whether they’re Christian or Jewish, a desire to compare Christmas and Yom Kippur might very well be the result of the popularization of the song, Santa Claus is Coming to Town: “You better watch out! Better not cry! Better not pout! I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is comin’ to town.” Those lyrics aren’t likely what Jews are thinking about in synagogue on Yom Kippur—or at least rabbis hope not. But does a Christmas-Yom Kippur analogy actually make sense? Matthew Kraus, assistant professor of Judaic Studies at the University of Cincinnati, says it is “interesting” to compare Yom Kippur and Christmas because of their underlying parallel focus on reward and punishment. But that’s

where the similarities end, according to Kraus. “Christmas is about material reward for appropriate behavior and there is a material punishment for illicit behavior,” he says. “You get presents if you are good and a lump of coal if you are bad. On Yom Kippur, the emphasis is not on materialism at all. It focuses on improvements of the soul.” An article titled “Problems with Christmas Curriculum”—originally published in Childhood Education magazine and republished online by Teaching Tolerance, a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center—argues that commercialism has become deeply connected with the North American observance of the holiday of Christmas, to the point of being counterproductive. “Telling children to be ‘good’ so that Santa will be pleased and give them presents is a holdover from an earlier age with another view of child development,” the article states. “That approach is counterproductive—not only because it encourages children to look outside of themselves for standards, but because the words ‘good’ and ‘bad’ convey little information, especially to young children.”

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

By contrast, Yom Kippur is about internal reflection, Kraus says. Further, contends the professor, Christmas is very focused on individual reward and Yom Kippur is more of a communal experience, with rituals such as communal confessions. “The language [of Yom Kippur] is ‘our,’” says Kraus. “The hope is for atonement, for rectification of the community as a whole.” Irene Greenwald Plotzker, a retired patent researcher who now writes a blog on the subject of raising children in America, says another important difference between Christmas and Yom Kippur is that Christmas is focused on short-term reward, as opposed to long-term gain. Whereas before Christmas individuals try to alter their behavior with an immediate goal in mind, on Yom Kippur people look to better themselves forever. “You are behaving to secure not just a good year, but your place in the world to come,” Plotzker says. Plotzker notes that in terms of comparing a Christian holiday to Yom Kippur, a better match might be Easter, with its message of rebirth and renewal. But don’t tell that to the writers of Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

Wishing you a New Year bright with promise, warm with happiness and rich with blessings

L’SHANA TOVAH Congregation Beth Am, Rabbi David Kornberg, Rabbi Matthew Earne, the Beth Am Board of Directors & Staff

CONGREGATION BETH AM 5050 Del Mar Heights Road San Diego, CA 92130 www.betham.com • 858.481.8454

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HIGH HOLIDAYS 2015 l BY KENNETH L. MARCUS l jns.org

WHICH MONTH

MARKS THE JEWISH NEW YEAR

ishrei is among the most well-known months on the Hebrew calendar because it contains the High Holidays and marks the beginning of the year. Or so it seems. Indeed, to modern-day Jews, Rosh Hashanah is considered the Jewish New Year. But traditionally, the Hebrew calendar actually has four “New Year” days: the first of Tishrei (Rosh Hashanah); the first of Nisan; the 15th of Shevat (Tu B’Shevat, or the New Year of trees); and the first of Elul, the New Year of animal tithes (taxation). The Torah specifically names Nisan as the first month of the Jewish calendar. So where did Tishrei come from, and how did it gain New Year status? Rabbi Donny Schwartz, midwest regional director for the Orthodox youth organization NCSY, explains that Tishrei relates to the sun, which is connected to the solar year. In Hebrew, the word year is translated as “shana,” which is related to the Hebrew words “sheni” (second/repeatable) and “yashan” (old). “Tishrei represents a system that never changes,” says Schwartz. “You wake up on the morning and it is just another day. You know you drive on the right side of the street, put clothes on your body. You know 22

who you are. It’s a ‘blah’ feeling sometimes, but there is a benefit to that.” On the other hand, Nisan relates to the moon, which is changing daily, if not more frequently. Nisan is therefore the “head of the months,” and is “all about renewal” and change, Schwartz says. Tishrei and Nisan also are tied to the seasons in which they fall. Schwartz believes that at different times of year, there are different energies in the world. Tishrei falls in the autumn, a time of great material beauty, namely the changing of the colors of the leaves. Nisan, on the other hand, falls in the spring, a time when beauty is only budding—renewing or resurfacing fresh off the winter. Rabbi Jessica Minnen, resident rabbi of New York’s OneTable initiative, which brings together Jews in their 20s and 30s for Shabbat dinners, takes this idea a step further. She says Nisan is the planting season, and Tishrei the harvesting season. Minnen says that a recent course she was teaching examined the differences between the two creation narratives in Genesis 1 and 2, which many modern scholars believe are competing stories. “In Genesis 1, God is breathing into Adam, into the Earth, the ground, the

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

shape that is formed into a human being. In Genesis 2, God physically shapes Adam out of the ground,” Minnen says. “This is the planting and the harvesting, this is Nisan and Tishrei. We need both creation narratives, and we need Nisan and Tishrei to form a complete sense of who we are and who we can be.” “God created the world in Tishrei. But when did God start thinking about creating the world? That was Nisan,” notes Rabbi Mendy Wineberg, program director of the Chabad House Center of Kansas City. Wineberg says that while the first man was fashioned by God in Tishrei, the Jewish people became a nation in Nisan, when God took them out of Egypt and ultimately gave them the Torah and its mitzvoth. “God became king of the people on Rosh Hashanah. God became our personal king in Nisan,” says Wineberg. Minnen says the main message of all the Jewish New Years—Tishrei, Nisan, Shevat, Elul—is one of continuity. “You have these four opportunities to start over, to redefine who you are now and where you want to go,” she says. “Every day can be your New Year.”

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HIGH HOLIDAYS 2015 l BY CHERI WEISS

BEYOND THE HIGH HOLIDAYS YOUR JEWISH LIFE

hat are your feelings about the High Holidays? Do you look forward to them as a time to reflect on the past and coming years? Is it a time to gather with friends and family and celebrate being Jewish or just being together? Or do you look at these days as more of an obligation or even a chore, perhaps a relic of a past that was more important to your parents or even grandparents, but has no significant relevance to your own life? Do 24

the chanted prayers inspire you, or are they so foreign to you (particularly if they are primarily in Hebrew) that they are just something you tolerate? At various points in my life, I have sat on either side of that seesaw. There were years when I attended High Holidays services without having any connection to that particular synagogue and I felt a near total disconnect to what was going on around me. I knew at best a handful

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

of people, and despite understanding the Hebrew words (thanks to a Hebrew School education and six years of living in Israel), I felt no connection to the proceedings or the people. I was there for no other reason than that’s what Jews did on the High Holidays. When my daughter was approaching school age, her dad and I made the conscious decision to find a synagogue that would nurture her Jewish identity. As parents, we both “felt” Jewish, but we knew that would

HIGH HOLIDAYS 2015

not be enough to help her understand what that meant. As neither of us had actually ever belonged to a synagogue, this was a new experience for us. What we found was more than just a place to attend services and introduce our daughter to Jewish life and learning; we found a community. I began working there as a Cantorial soloist, and we began participating in the life of the synagogue. Services took on a richer meaning. My life took on a richer meaning. Flashing forward quite a few years, I am now the Cantorial Intern at Congregation Beth El in La Jolla. I am also the High Holidays Cantor at Temple Emanu-El in Providence (R.I) and a third year Cantorial student at the Academy of Jewish Religion in Los Angeles. I attend classes one day per week, often leaving home before dawn and returning late at night. This past year, I fulfilled one of the requirements of AJR by taking a year of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). This is essentially the study of chaplaincy. Each student is required to have a clinical site; Beth El was mine. Most of my classmates were students in the Chaplaincy program and working in such sites as hospitals and shelters. To be honest, at first I felt completely out of my depth. My background is as a singer, a leader of prayer, and a businesswoman. (I’ve been a Realtor for 15 years and the Broker/Owner of my own firm for seven.) To be the person others turn to in times of need was a terrifying prospect. How would I know what to say? What if I said the wrong thing? Add to that my lifelong discomfort with death, illness, mental incapacity and trauma; and surely I was going to fail. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about others in need; I just felt that this was beyond anything I could do properly. I could not have been more outside my comfort zone. While I felt overwhelmed and not at all

up to the task of chaplaincy, an amazing thing began to happen: I began to really listen to people. I visited congregants in hospitals and nursing homes. I also talked to people who were experiencing serious difficulties in their lives. And it didn’t stop there. I discovered that my CPE hat was always on. Once during a Realtor caravan tour of homes, I found myself alone with an agent who had lost a parent a few years earlier to Alzheimer’s Disease. As I heard him speak, I realized that he was still grieving. So instead of hurrying on to the next house, I stopped and listened to this person who needed me at that moment. I made only occasional comments, but what I did say seemed to comfort him. According to the Pirkei Avot (“Ethics of the Fathers”), the world stands on three central principles: Torah (study of Jewish texts), Avodah (worship/ritual/service to G-d), and G’milut Chasadim (acts of loving kindness). There are many ways we can apply these core Jewish values in our lives. I have found that it is easier and more meaningful to incorporate these values into my life within the context of a Jewish community. In a community, people have a stronger, more personal interest in the well-being of its members. We celebrate our joyful occasions and provide comfort and support to one another in times of grief or distress. Through our Rabbis, we learn how to apply the teachings of the Torah to our daily lives. Through prayer and ritual, we can infuse our lives with spirituality and deeper meaning. I understand that taking the first step toward being part of a Jewish community may be challenging and even overwhelming for many people. But I urge you to go outside your comfort zone. It may mean attending a Friday night or Saturday morning service. Talk to the Rabbi, Cantor or other members

about getting involved in congregational activities. Take one of many classes offered by one of the many local synagogues on Jewish ethics, prayer services, Hebrew language, or join a synagogue choir. (The choir I lead at Beth El meets twice a month on Wednesday evenings from October to June. You need not be a Beth El member to join, and no previous choral experience is necessary.) If you never had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, some synagogues offer a two-year Adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah class. Volunteer your services for one of the many Mitzvah (community service) projects led by various synagogues or Jewish Family Service. I have traveled this road many times in my life. I know how it feels to be on the outside looking in. Yet there is a completeness to giving and receiving within a nurturing congregation or other Jewish communal organization. As a Cantor, I hope to use my musical voice to inspire people to follow their own path to Judaism and to its core values. By taking a step outside my comfort zone to discover my pastoral voice, I discovered a joy and fulfillment that goes beyond what I had ever thought was possible. I hope that the High Holidays are just a first step for you in finding your own path within the Jewish community. Shana Tovah. CHERI WEISS CURRENTLY SERVES AS THE CANTORIAL INTERN AT CONGREGATION BETH EL IN LA JOLLA AND HIGH HOLIDAYS CANTOR AT TEMPLE EMANU-EL IN PROVIDENCE, R.I. SHE IS STUDYING FOR THE CANTORATE AT THE ACADEMY FOR JEWISH RELIGION IN LOS ANGELES. SHE IS ALSO THE BROKER/ OWNER OF TOP COAST PROPERTIES IN LA JOLLA AND HOLDS THE SRES (SENIORS REAL ESTATE SPECIALIST) DESIGNATION FROM THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

BADASS KOSHER l BY MICHAEL GARDINER

A Raw Vegan Dish Gone Bad

LAMB AND BULGAR MEATBALLS l CASHEW PATÉ l SPICY TOMATO CHUTNEY

t started out as the single worst decision I ever made as a landlord. Of the final candidates for our two-bedroom apartment I picked the ones I thought were cool, the ones I wanted to hang with, instead of the ones who were the best credit risks. Eventually, the inevitable happened and we had to evict them. But it was not all bad; it was not an altogether lost investment. They were chefs, 26

having just set up a restaurant kitchen for a client, and looking to open their own restaurant. More specifically, they were “raw food” chefs. It was the early 2000s and vegan cuisine was in the process of being taken to its logical extreme as “raw food,” complete with dubious but heavily hyped health claims. At its best – for example, the late-lamented Larkspur restaurant, Roxanne’s – it offered near-haute level

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

cuisine in exciting, counterintuitive ways. At its worst it violated my motto: “keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out.” But it was intriguing and I saw it as something of an opportunity. Their restaurant never got off the ground, of course, for reasons that had more to do with the reasons so many restaurants fail than anything about raw or vegan food. But in the course of working with them

BADASS KOSHER

I learned a lot. I learned new techniques and approaches to food preparation like dehydration, fermentation, and an intriguing minimalism. And many of these I found directly applicable to addressing some of the challenges of kosher cooking. The single favorite lesson I learned from that episode of my life was nut “cheeses.” I put that word in quotes because the thing it describes is in not a true “cheese.” Indeed, I firmly believe that using that word to describe the stuff denigrates it and consigns it to the end of vegan cuisine that feels it needs to pretend it is not that which it is. What it actually is, of course, is something wonderful in and of itself: fermented nuts ground with various flavoring ingredients into a preparation that is, perhaps, more like a paté than a cheese. While this class of preparations comes out of the vegan and raw food worlds there is no reason it should not be used in a non-vegan context other than the fact that it has infrequently been used in that way. But that is exactly what I had in mind. No good vegan would give any thought to using a cashew “cheese” in this way: pair it with a meatball and top it with a spicy tomato chutney. But the richness and acid notes of the cashew paté – hitting so many of the notes that might be supplied by a dairy product -- pairs perfectly with the rich earthiness of the lamb and bulgur meatballs and the spicy sweetness of the chutney ties it all together. I learned more than one lesson from those chef-tenants: (1) who not to rent to, and (2) how to make nut “cheeses.” I owe them a debt of gratitude for both (even though they still owe me the money for the rent they didn’t pay). But, at the end of the day, I do have this article to show for it.

Lamb and Bulgur Meatballs | Cashew Paté | Spicy Tomato Chutney INGREDIENTS For the Cashew Paté 1 cup raw cashews 1 tablespoon sherry vinegar 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

2 teaspoons light soy sauce 1 teaspoon Kosher salt For the Spicy Tomato Chutney 2 cups peeled, seeded, chopped tomato (can be good quality canned tomatoes) 1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger 1 medium onion, finely chopped 1 tablespoon fresh garlic, minced 1/3 cup raisins ½ teaspoon ground turmeric ¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper (or more) 2 tablespoons olive oil 4 garlic cloves, peeled 1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds ½ teaspoon black mustard seeds ¼ teaspoon fenugreek seeds 2 whole dried hot red peppers (arbol or japonaise, or fresh thai bird chiles) 1 cup brown sugar ½ cup apple cider vinegar Kosher salt to taste For the Lamb Meatballs 1 cup cooked bulgur ½ cup chopped Italian parsley 2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill 1 shallot, minced 2 garlic cloves, minced Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 1 pound ground lamb 2 large eggs 1 tablespoon grapeseed oil For the garnish Radish sprouts or other sprouts or microgreens

DIRECTIONS

1. Make the Cashew Paté. Place the nuts in a bowl, cover with water and soak overnight. The next morning, strain the water from the cashews and place the nuts in the work bowl of a Vita Mix, other high-speed blender or food processor. Add the remaining ingredients. Starting on the lowest setting begin processing the nuts, gradually increasing the speed until the mixture achieves a smooth texture. 2. Finish the Cashew Paté. Transfer the blended paté ingredients onto a cheese cloth, tie it off and suspend it over a bowl, allowing the cheese to ferment for a minimum of 8 up to a maximum of 24

hours. Transfer the paté to your refrigerator and allow it to rest for at least two hours to stop further fermentation. Refrigerate (and use) the cheese for 5-7 days. 3. Cook the Spicy Tomato Chutney. Place the tomatoes, ginger, onion, minced garlic (not the whole garlic), raisins, turmeric, cayenne and salt in a bowl, and mix thoroughly. Heat the oil in a heavy sauce pan over medium heat. Add the garlic cloves, stir and fry until lightly brown. Add the cumin, mustard, and fenugreek and allow to sizzle for about five seconds before adding the red peppers. They should puff up and darken. Add the tomato mixture (it will splatter when it hits the hot oil). Add the brown sugar and apple cider vinegar. Stir and cook on medium heat for 15 minutes, or until the liquid is reduced. This recipe should yield about 1 cup of chutney. 4. Make the Lamb Meatballs. Preheat the oven to 375° Fahrenheit. Soak bulgur in 2 cups water for 2 minutes; drain through a fine sieve. Combine bulgur and next 7 ingredients (bulgur through 2 minced garlic cloves). Cover and chill 30 minutes. Shape lamb mixture into 18 (1inch) balls. 5. Saute the Meatballs. Working in batches (if necessary), add the meatballs and sear until browned on all sides, about 5 minutes. Transfer the balls to a hotel pan and roast in the oven until cooked through, about another 5 minutes. 6. Plate the Dish. Plating depends on whether you are using the dish as an appetizer or main course. If the former, use one to two meatballs per plate. If the later, use three to four. Place each meatball on a circle of cashew pate. Top each meatball with a dollop of tomato chutney and garnish with sprouts or microgreens.

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Israeli Minister of Education Naftali Bennett speaks during a visit to a bible study seminar at the Herzog College in the West Bank Jewish settlement of Alon Shvut in July, 2015.

CLASS IN SESSION 5 QUESTIONS FOR ISRAELI EDUCATION MINISTER NAFTALI BENNETT

n April, Israel’s educational system, which is essentially charged with shaping the country’s future, was handed over to Member of Knesset Naftali Bennett. The chairman of the Habayit Hayehudi (Jewish Home) political party, Bennett now has big plans for Israel’s schools in his new ministerial position. The Jewish Home platform states, “Our most urgent task is to create a Jewish-Zionist educational unit to operate in the State of Israel’s public school system. … HaBayit HaYehudi will spearhead a nationalist plan to promote Jewish and Zionist identity among all students from grade 1 through grade 12.” Ultimately, the Israel of tomorrow may very well depend on the Jewish state’s educational system. In 2012, Israel was ranked the secondmost educated country in the world by the 34-member nation Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD). According to the OECD’s 2011 “Education at a Glance” report, 78 percent of the money invested in education in Israel is taken directly from public funds, and 45 percent of Israelis have a university or college diploma. Yet Israel’s educational system has been accused of overcrowding, among other predicaments. A teachers’ strike in Jerusalem earlier this summer called on the government to evaluate the situation and offer answers before the start of the Sept. 1 school year. Education Minister Bennett took some time off from his busy schedule to talk shop in the following exclusive interview with JNS.org, reprinted here with permission.

JNS: ISRAEL’S EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM HAS COME UNDER SOME HEAT AS OF LATE. WHY IS THE SYSTEM SO COMPLICATED? NAFTALI BENNETT: Israel’s education system is one of the most sophisticated and versatile in the world. We are challenged by a diverse population and work hard to meet the needs of all of the country’s students, whether they are Jewish or Arab, secular or religious. JNS: AS MINISTER OF EDUCATION, WHAT ARE YOUR CORE FOCUSES? NB: I believe we have work to do to improve and adapt to the changes in society. One area I am focused on is preschool. I passed a reform that will lead to the hiring of an additional teacher’s assistant in every preschool in Israel, starting in September. Young children need to get a strong start in their education, and this is one of the ways to do it. Another focus for me is getting more high school students to take the five-point matriculation exam in math. These are the people who will be the engine of our economy in industry, hi-tech, medicine and other business sectors. We have seen a steady decline in the numbers in recent years, and I am determined to increase it. JNS: DO YOU THINK THE DIASPORA CAN PLAY A ROLE IN SUPPORTING EDUCATION IN ISRAEL? NB: We have many joint ventures with the Diaspora in the field of education. It is

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

important that we continue to work together to learn from one another. We are one people and it is important for Israeli schoolchildren to engage and learn about their counterparts in the Diaspora, and for Jewish schoolchildren in the Diaspora to be connected to Israel and their Israeli counterparts. JNS: IN JULY, 221 NEW OLIM (IMMIGRANTS TO ISRAEL) ARRIVED FROM THE UNITED STATES, INCLUDING MORE THAN 90 CHILDREN. WHAT DOES ISRAEL DO TO HELP NEW IMMIGRANT STUDENTS ACCLIMATE TO ISRAEL AND THRIVE THERE? NB: The schools work with new olim students to facilitate a swift and easy transition into the Israeli school system and to ensure that they receive the necessary assistance when it comes to tests and the different courses. JNS: SHOULD WE BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE OF EDUCATION IN ISRAEL? NB: I am optimistic about the future of Israel and the future of our education system. Education is the backbone of our people, and has been that way since our founding as a nation thousands of years ago. We are the people of the book and, as Minister of Education, I will continue to invest in ensuring that our children have the tools and skills needed for Israel to remain a key player on the global economic and cultural stage.

PHOTO BY GERSHON ELINSON/FLASH90

EDUCATION l BY MAAYAN JAFFE jns.org

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BIG PICTURE

VISION C

SD School district’s Jewish leader has big ideas for public education

indy Marten respects private educational institutions in the Jewish community and elsewhere, but at the very least, she believes that Jewish parents should give public school a chance. The superintendent of San Diego Unified School District—California’s second-largest school district and the eighth largest in the country, serving 109,785 enrolled students across 180 schools K-12—Marten calls a strong public school “a foundation of a healthy city and a healthy community.”

“The foundation of our democracy is a highquality public education system, and I want our families and our [Jewish] community to understand that you don’t have to go to private school to get a great education,” she says. “At some point, people had this belief system that the public schools are the worst choice … and they feel like they’re letting the kids down somehow … I would challenge our community to say, go to your local neighborhood school. Meet the principal. Take a tour of the school. Ask questions. And if your local school is not

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

San Diego Unified School District Superintendent Cindy Marten (runner #2254, wearing black) participates in the Finish Chelsea’s Run charity fundraiser.

what you want it to be, guess what? Make it what you want it to be. We work for you. The taxes that you pay, they pay for public education.” Born in Chicago, Marten and her family later moved to San Diego and joined Temple Emanu-El, a Reform Jewish synagogue. While she did not have a bat mitzvah, Marten had her confirmation at Emanu-El and recalls that her mother Fern Siegel—a former president of Jewish Family Service—raised her with the Jewish value of “taking care of your

PHOTO BY PAUL NESTOR

EDUCATION l BY JACOB KAMARAS jns.org

EDUCATION

community.” “She always says charity begins at home. You help your family first, and you help your community,” says Marten. In fact, while growing up with a brother with a mental disability, the opportunity to help and provide for was always close to home for Marten. It was ultimately what inspired her to become a teacher. Her career in education, which now involves her ambition to transform public schools, did not begin in that space. Instead, Marten’s first seven years as a teacher came at Congregation Beth Israel’s day school. There, while working with a group she characterized as “students that came from privilege,” Marten says she realized that the students weren’t only succeeding because they came from affluent or highly educated homes, but because they received “great teaching.” “I realized that I wanted to bring what I knew with the students I worked with [at Beth Israel] into a setting with students that had more challenges,” says Marten. “And so, I left the private sector and went to public schools. … ‘Do you have to come from privilege and wealth to be able to be successful in school?’, was what I wondered. Do you only get to be successful if both your parents are highly educated, and value education, and have money to put you in a private school? Is that the way to get a good education in this country? I didn’t think so.” Marten’s first stop in public education was in the Poway Unified School District, which she called “a high-performing district here in San Diego with a great zip code.” But Marten worked as a literacy specialist at Los Penasquitos Elementary School, one of the district’s lowest-achieving schools. “Teaching 3rd grade, half of my class seemed to be a lot like the Beth Israel kids, and half seeming to struggle and come from poverty,” she says. Yet Marten says she realized that “it didn’t matter if they came from the apartments or the houses … It was my job to teach all of them, and not separate who can achieve and who cannot.” “After seven years being in Poway Unified, I realized that, going back to my Jewish

faith and thinking about my community … I knew that I could make a difference in my community and continue to contribute in a broader way,” she says. Marten says her belief system is that “your demography doesn’t determine your destiny,” and that “if we provided students the right access and opportunity, the achievement gap will be completely closed, and it was a matter of educators being able to provide that.” Moving on to the San Diego Unified School District, Marten didn’t go in thinking she would become the superintendent. She had no administrative credential, and says that was never even a goal for her. Rather, she says the goal “was to create incredible educational experiences for all children, even children who come from struggle and poverty.” At Central Elementary School, Marten says she “showed up there 12 years ago to figure out what it would take to bring high-quality private school-type learning experiences into the inner city, and take on every single one of the risk factors that was impeding students’ learning.” “That’s what our country is founded on, and my Jewish roots are in valuing education and valuing human contribution,” she says. “Every child has a gift, and it’s our job as educators to unlock the genius inside every student and create conditions that make that happen.” Marten eventually became the principal of Central Elementary and did get her administrative credential, after all. In 2013, when San Diego Unified’s superintendent was planning to retire, the district’s board of education approached her about being the next superintendent. “It wasn’t because we were focused on test scores,” Marten says. “We were focused on the whole child, bringing art and music and science … [in private school] you got a fully integrated, robust, well-balanced, beautiful, gorgeous education, which the Jewish community values so much. And then you go to inner-city schools, and they eliminated the arts, and their campuses aren’t gorgeous. There’s just an inequity. But those are all just adult decisions. And so my goal [at Central Elementary] was to create those beautiful, robust, rich, broad, challenging learning

environments for all my students.” In 2009, San Diego Unified’s board of education passed a community reform initiative called “Vision 2020,” which promised a quality school in every neighborhood. The board saw that Marten’s school lived up to the policy’s 12 characteristics of a quality school and sought for her to translate that success to schools across the district. It remains her task at the start of her third year as superintendent. “There’s a very clear commitment from me and from the board of education that this is a life and social justice agenda as much as it’s an education agenda,” says Marten. Asked what she would tell Jewish parents who are apprehensive about considering the option of public school for their children, Marten says, “Before you just decide the local [public] school is not good … get engaged with your local school, even before your kids go to it. Go find out what’s happening, and once you get engaged, you can follow up, and then you can get married. Then you can stay committed to public education.” Marten also says parents should not judge a school solely by its students’ test scores. “We’re working in the public school system to produce conditions where students become active, literate, contributing, participating members of their community, and making positive differences, and so I would ask the Jewish community to go deeper than looking up the test scores of a school,” she says. “I know our families want more than just a test score. They want our kids to be seen as a whole individual. They want them to have compassion, empathy, kindness—the things that you can’t measure in a test score.” Other factors to consider when choosing a school, says the superintendent, include: “How do the teachers treat one another and how do they treat children? How does the principal treat you when you walk in? What does the front office say to you?” If those conditions aren’t to your liking as a parent, says Marten, you have the power to create change. “Transform your neighborhood public school,” she says. “Have it be what you want it to be, because it belongs to you.” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

EDUCATION l BY JACOB KAMARAS jns.org

MAJOR JEWISH GROUPS:

School workshop has anti-Israel bias, flawed pedagogy

ainstream Jewish organizations— including the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), the women’s Zionist organization Hadassah, and a local Jewish Federation—are raising concerns about a Boston University-affiliated high school workshop over what they consider to be its anti-Israel bias and questionable pedagogical techniques. In April, Jewish communal attention was initially drawn to the issue when the advocacy group Americans for Peace and Tolerance (APT) released a video on Axis of Hope’s (AOH) “Whose Jerusalem?” workshop, which specifically selects Jewish students to act as members of the Palestinian terror group Hamas during mock negotiations. In the aftermath of the video’s release, other pro-Israel organizations are joining APT’s public criticism of AOH. At the same time, New England-based Jewish groups that have previously been divided on matters including anti-Israel texts in the Boston suburb of Newton’s public schools and anti-Semitism at Northeastern University are presenting a united front on the AOH issue. AOH claims its mission is “developing in young adults an understanding of alternative, non-violent approaches to resolving complex conflicts locally, nationally and internationally.” But Carl Hobert, AOH’s founder, has admitted 32

to receiving guidance for the “Whose Jerusalem?” workshop from anti-Israel professors Noam Chomsky (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) and Denis Sullivan (Northeastern University). Hobert has told the Al Jazeera broadcaster that one of the workshop’s goals is “putting pressure on our government to create a Palestinian state.” While AOH has worked in at least 28 high schools across the U.S., the 27-minute film by Boston-based APT, titled “Axis of Bias @ Weston High School,” focuses on AOH’s presence at Weston High School because APT received outreach from a concerned individual in that area. “Under the banner of global education, and peace studies, and conflict resolution, and activist diplomacy, all kinds of things are being brought into the schools that are anti-Israel,” APT President Charles Jacobs says. “[Axis of Hope] is one of the more egregious examples, and we’ve got it on film. We’ve shown this film around to people who are experts in education, and also to Jewish leaders in the city, and they’re absolutely appalled.” Among the Jewish leaders who have viewed the APT film is Barry Shrage, president of Combined Jewish Philanthropies (the Boston area’s Jewish Federation), who says he also watched a previous segment on AOH by Al Jazeera.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

“[AOH is] not the kind of thing that you want to have happen in your school in an unvarnished way, without any opportunity for rebuttal,” Shrage says. “It’s just enormously biased. It pretends to be all about helping people, helping kids understand a variety of international perspectives, but really it’s just one perspective. It’s something that I think parents and schools need to be aware of before they invite this guy (Hobert) in.” Robert Trestan, director of ADL’s New England Region, says that of particular concern to ADL is AOH’s casting of American high school students as representatives of Hamas during role play exercises. “[Hamas is] an organization committed to Israel’s destruction in its charter and it’s an organization with a deep history of murdering Jews and Americans. It’s very concerning, when as a way to teach conflict resolution, we’re having kids role play this particular organization,” Trestan says. Dr. Sandra Alfonsi, chair of Hadassah’s “Curriculum Watch” initiative, calls AOH “a pedagogically flawed program by a self-styled guru of educational civil disobedience promoting anti-Israel propaganda to well-meaning students who want to bring peace to the world.” Both AOH’s website and Boston University (BU) officials say that AOH is

PHOTO BY YOUTUBE

EDUCATION

Axis of Hope founder Carl Hobert.

now inactive, and that Hobert currently directs a new global literacy program within BU’s School of Education. “We recognize there are questions about the objectivity of the [AOH] workshop’s content and the way it is presented, based on the YouTube ‘Axis of Bias’ video,” Colin Riley, BU’s executive director of media relations says. Riley says the new Hobertled program “has changed significantly from what is shown in the video” and “offers certificate-granting institutes for secondary school teachers to learn to teach conflict resolutions skills to their students.” “The program is based on a fundamental understanding that conflicts emanate from mutual misunderstanding and that opposing parties are morally equivalent, although we recognize that many scholars may challenge these premises,” Riley says. An email obtained by JNS.org that was signed by BU President Robert A. Brown, and addressed to a concerned alumnus who asked to remain anonymous, also stressed the principle of moral equivalence— seemingly in defense of AOH’s moral equivalence regarding Israel and Hamas. “I need to reiterate that the workshop as currently taught has evolved significantly from what was shown in the [‘Axis of Bias’] video,” Brown wrote. “What has not changed is the underlying premise of this particular program, which is that conflict arises from mutual misunderstanding. And, at least implicitly, there is the premise that all parties to a conflict (nation-states or territorial entities) are morally equivalent.”

In a section of its curriculum titled “The Palestinian Intifada and the Peace Process, 1987-1997,” the workshop omits any mention of the rampant Hamas suicide bombings against Israelis and blames Israel for initiating the Palestinians’ violence. “As Israeli policy hardened against the Palestinians in the occupied territories, the Palestinians began a series of riots and attacks on Israeli soldiers and civilians,” the curriculum states. According to the curriculum, the “repressive measures” Israel took in response to the intifada “turned world opinion against Israel.” Weston Superintendent of Schools Dr. Cheryl Maloney says in a statement that no AOH workshops have been scheduled at Weston High School since 2013. She sought to distance Weston from the video bearing the town’s name, saying, “The video opens with footage of Weston High School as students arrive in the morning, but beyond that none of the clips in the 27-minute film are of Weston High School students.” “Weston High School history teachers facilitated the small group discussions during the workshop and provided opportunities for students to reflect upon the materials and activities in the days before and after,” Maloney says. “None of our students were forced into particular roles during the simulation. As one teacher noted, she valued the workshop for ‘opening and deepening the students’ understanding of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.” Trestan told JNS.org that ADL expressed

its concerns about the workshop upon meeting with Maloney and Weston High School Principal Anthony Parker. ADL also spoke to parents whose children participated in the workshop. “There’s no indication of any hidden agenda by the Weston schools,” Trestan says. “I think they looked at this program, and on its face it looked like a good program,” he says. “We expressed our concerns about it, and they were very receptive. As far as we know, there are no plans for this program to return to Weston.” Hobert defended his workshop in an interview with BU’s student newspaper, The Daily Free Press, saying, “I founded Axis of Hope as a non-profit because I wanted to teach students two main concepts: conflict resolution and negotiations. So to [claim I] have a ‘political agenda’ is definitely offkey. The whole idea here is to have students, whose walls are already down in their own schools… look at the issues and decide.” Hobert did not immediately respond to a request for comment from JNS.org. APT’s Jacobs explained that while Jewish organizations are finally taking action on the threat of anti-Zionism on college campuses, the new film shows how “the poison that we now know is on the campuses” is also spreading on the high school level. Programs like AOH are “grooming these kids” in a way that by the time they reach college, “they’re already coming pre-heated against Israel,” Jacobs says. Trestan says that the Jewish community “needs to be aware of programs in public schools, in independent schools, that in their good-faith attempt to introduce the Middle East conflict to their students don’t take into account all aspects and some of the sensitivities.” “For a Jewish student to be placed in the role of having to articulate the position of Hamas, which is an organization dedicated to killing Jews, I’m not sure that exercise fulfills the pedagogic goal of the program,” says Trestan. “We need to be vigilant to make sure that when we teach kids about conflict resolution and the Middle East in particular, we need to look at every aspect of it and also be sensitive to how the kids are going to do [workshops].” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

FEATURE STORY l BY STEFAN BIALOGUSKI jns.org

Christian Funding Provides Lifeline to Jewish Schools in Former Soviet Union

he Soviet Union may have dissolved in 1991, but many Jewish families are still struggling to emerge from the regime’s seven decades of antipathy towards their heritage. For some, their Jewish identity amounts to little more than a Jewish name and the bigotry that it attracts. While anti-Semitism is by no means universal in the region, it is not uncommon either and its effect can be intimidating— and, in Tatiana Elokhina’s case, heartbreaking. 34

“My family was assimilated and I did not pay much importance to the fact I was Jewish,” says Tatiana, who lives in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. “But when my husband and I quarreled I was always subjected to insults related to my Jewish roots. I couldn’t put up with the harsh treatment given to me and my child.” Tatiana got a divorce and, with her son, Ratibor, started a new life with a new partner. She had a daughter, Arina, but again found herself subjected to antiSemitic abuse and filing for divorce.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

Soon after, there were riots that led to the ouster of Kyrgyzstan President Kurmanbek Bakiev, and an upsurge in anti-Semitism. Anti-government protesters placed a banner on the fence of the presidential offices declaring that there was “no place for dirty Jews” in the country and the city’s synagogue was firebombed. “Offensive and threatening graffiti appeared on people’s houses and many of my friends warned me that it could be dangerous to send my children to a Jewish school. But two unfortunate marriages had

FEATURE STORY

PHOTO COURTESY WORLD ORT

Ratibor, the son of Tatiana Elokhina, is pictured at a World ORT school in the former Soviet Union.

made me think about my origin—I had no reason to be ashamed! I had a strong desire to tell my children about their Jewish roots and to accustom them to Jewish traditions,” Tatiana says. She found places for her children at the city’s ORT Pri Etz Chaim Jewish School after hearing good things about it from friends who had sent their children there. Like the other 17 schools in World ORT’s network in the former Soviet Union, Pri Etz Chaim offers a comprehensive education with an emphasis on science and technology and non-denominational Jewish studies. For Tatiana, coming from an assimilated background and working long hours as a market stallholder, the ORT school is connecting her children to their roots and equipping them for well-paid careers locally, or, if they choose, in Israel. But the hope they and others in the ORT Pri Etz Chaim community now have might not have been possible without the support of Christians on the other side of the world. Since 2008, when traditional sources of funding for social needs dried up, it has been the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews (IFCJ) that has stepped in, enabling World ORT’s schools to continue operating as Jewish institutions. “Since 1880, it has been our organization’s mission to enable Jewish people to lift themselves out of poverty and dependency

and into a brighter, self-sufficient existence,” says World ORT Director General and CEO Shmuel Sisso. “For most of those 135 years the kind of generosity that has been extended to us by the Christian community would have been unimaginable. This friendship is a beacon of hope at a time when our people need it so much.” Thanks to the Fellowship, World ORT’s schools have been able to maintain subsidized bus services, hot lunches, and security for their students. The schools represent the only educational network in the region that caters to families on the margins of the Jewish community, including those who are eligible to make aliyah under the Law of Return but would not be recognized as Jewish according to halacha (Jewish law). Organizing food may seem like a distraction for an organization that is providing high-tech equipment, teacher training, and pedagogic programs. But poverty, disability, and anti-social working hours mean that many parents would find it difficult—if not impossible—to prepare meals for their children, let alone meals nutritious and satisfying enough to keep them going through the long days made necessary by World ORT’s enhancement of the national curricula with STEM and Jewish studies. As studies by the American Psychological Association have shown, the

resulting hunger could lead to depression, anxiety, and withdrawal, all of which are obstructions to a child trying to focus on learning. Further, resulting behavioral problems could lead to disruptions in class and thereby negatively affect the education of well-fed students. Jewish communities in the former Soviet Union can be small and fragmented; there is often no communal center of gravity where an ORT school could be situated to ensure good accessibility to most people. Stressed transportation systems, severe weather, and the ever-present threat of crime and antiSemitism mean that crossing town to get to school can be a lengthy and risky endeavor. The Fellowship’s funding has been keeping the wheels on the buses turning round, ensuring safe access for Jews regardless of which suburb they live in. One does not need to look as far as the former Soviet Union to recognize the importance of security. The resurgence in anti-Semitism across Europe has seen CCTV cameras, high walls, guards, and other measures introduced at Jewish schools and other communal buildings. But in the United Kingdom, France, and other countries, government funding and wealthy local donors have managed to meet many security needs. World ORT’s schools further to the east do not have that luxury, and that’s where the Fellowship’s funding comes in. “I’ve never doubted their safety at ORT Pri Etz Chaim,” says Tatiana. “Thanks to the support of the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews, there is an effective security system in place. It’s perhaps the safest school in the city! It’s not easy raising children alone; I work hard from morning ’til night without holidays and weekends as a market stallholder. When I get home I may be tired but I feel well knowing that my children have been getting a good education. And I don’t need to worry about whether my children are hungry—I know that they are always well-fed with tasty, home-style, kosher food… My children had no luck with fathers, but the care we have received from the Fellowship and ORT has given our family a future.” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

HEADLINES

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On left, Sabrina Kerbel, Panelist and Audrey Levine, Hadassah San Diego Area President

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GIRLFRIENDS TAKE HEART! A WOMEN’S HEART HEALTH EVENT

On Sunday, October 18, 2015, Hadassah San Diego will host “Girlfriends Take Heart! A Women’s Heart Health Program”, at AMN Healthcare in Carmel Valley, to educate women on the causes and prevention of heart disease, the #1 killer of women world-wide. The staggering statistics are that two-thirds of women who die suddenly from heart disease have no previous symptoms, and yet, up to 82% of heart disease is preventable. As an international organization deeply committed to advancing women’s health, Hadassah seeks to urge all women to make prevention a priority, believing that individual decisions are crucial to longevity and quality of life. With an anticipated sell-out attendance of 200 women, Hadassah’s goal is to create awareness of women’s heart disease, historically thought of as a man’s disease, as well as how gender bias impacts its diagnosis and treatment. Featured speaker, Dr. Christina Adams of Scripps Health, will discuss risks, detection and prevention of heart disease, as well as how warning signs of a heart attack can manifest differently in women than men. Chef Palma Bellinghieriof Rancho La Puerta and Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine, will coach attendees on how to cook heart healthy meals. Giving a face on this prevalent disease affecting women of all ages, a panel discussion will feature two women who will share their journey of survival following serious heart-related incidents. Attendees will also learn about Hadassah’s lobbying efforts in both the United States and Israel to achieve gender equity in medical research, as well as information about current cardiovascular research and exciting medical breakthroughs at Hadassah Medical Organization in Jerusalem. Nearly 500,000 women in the United States will die this year from heart disease— almost double the number of deaths from all types of cancer combined, and yet new research shows that women are less likely than men to receive heart healthy recommendations from their healthcare professionals. “Girlfriends Take Heart!”is designed to equip women with knowledge of the steps that can be taken to reduce heart disease, because a well-informed woman is more likely to advocate for her health care with her doctor, and make appropriate medical decisions for herself and her family. The program is underwritten by Shirley Pidgeon in memory of her son, Lawrence Pidgeon. For more information about Hadassah and about “Girlfriends Take Heart!” contact Deena Feinman, Director, at 858-268-3200, email sandiegohsc@hadassah.org or register at Hadassah.org/events/girlfriendstakeheart.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

THANK YOU SAN DIEGO!

L’CHAIM Magazine, a new and fresh San Diego magazine and digital resource for Southern California, celebrated their first year in business with a party at the House of Blues. The event was one to remember, with dancing, food and drink and the chance to meet and mingle with old and new friends. “This has been a fantastic year of discovery and a great year for all of us at L’CHAIM,” publisher Diane Benaroya said. L’CHAIM focuses on what makes life fun. For more info www.lchaimmagazine.com, info@ lchaimmagazine.com or (858) 776-0550.

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PERHAPS THE GREATEST EXAMPLE OF INCLUSION Like many Israeli teenagers, Cory Ashkenazi, eagerly reported to the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) enlistment office determined to join the military and serve his country. The only difference being is that Cory is a young man with autism. “When all of my friends received their orders to enlist, I decided that despite everything, I wanted to enlist too,” Cory recalls, explaining his devotion to the IDF and the Jewish state. “The desire to serve has been with me since childhood.” Cory had heard about the Special in Uniform program, and contacted Lt. Col. Ariel Almog, the head of the program, who spoke with him about opportunities to enlist as a volunteer. Special in Uniform was founded by Yad LaYeled, a non-profit organization in Israel established in 2005 by the late mayor of Kfar Chabad R’ Shlomo Maidanchik z”l, who believed that by joining forces they could provide their children with the tools necessary for dealing with their difficulties and disabilities. Like Special in Uniform, Yad LaYeled was created so that these children could grow and be happy, achieve a better quality of life, and be successfully integrated into society. “We are not doing them a favor. They are doing their part and make many contributions. Their parents also are very proud to see them in a normal framework, and it’s also good for regular soldiers to work with people with disabilities,” says Lt. Col (Res.) Tiran Attia, director of the program. Special in Uniform integrates young people with autism and other disabilities into the IDF and in turn into Israeli society. It focuses on the unique talents of each individual participant to help find a job within the IDF that is a perfect fit, with the belief that everyone belongs and has the right to reach his or her full potential. Special in Uniform focuses on the ability, not the disability, of each individual, encouraging independence and social acceptance. The IDF is known as the people’s army. The significance of this model is that beyond its military duty to ensure Israel’s security, it also plays an important social role. It is a melting pot that brings together all sectors of Israeli society. To date Special in Uniform has integrated two hundred young people with disabilities on IDF bases. It has shown to be successful at breaking down barriers and meets the goal and vision of the program in the success its participants have once they complete their service. Jewish National Fund (JNF) supports this valuable program. The partnership with Special in Uniform and JNF will help to fulfill the vision of building a society that looks beyond the disability of the person within, and instead reflects the values that are inherent to 38

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

Corporal Ben Levi, an IDF soldier with disabilities recently received the IDF Excellence Award in honor of Israel’s 67th Independence Day. Corporal Levi is part of Special in Uniform.

Jewish life and Tikkun Olam, repairing the world, and making it a better place. One day, perhaps, this will not be seen as newsworthy or surprising, but rather for what it is: a tested truth that inclusion of individuals with disabilities benefits all who participate. AMY HART, DIRECTOR SAN DIEGO 858-824-9178 EXT988, AHART@JNF.ORG, WWW.JNF.COM

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L’CHAIM l BY MICHAEL SONDUCK

San Diegan Jewish community members celebrate Israel at IsraelFest 2015.

Not Your Bubbie’s Federation “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F. Kennedy The challenge we faced was daunting: How do we take one of the most well-known nonprofit organizations in San Diego, with an eighty-year history of philanthropic work, and adapt to our community’s everevolving needs? The answer, we discovered, was not just a matter of rebranding, but of transformation. In some ways it required the organizational equivalent to “soul-searching” to determine who we are, who we should be, and how we can best service our community. We began with listening. We committed ourselves to building strong, substantive relationships with our community and our partners. We sought the counsel of our elders, queried the next generation, and 42

kept our eyes and ears open. And what we learned from our listening tour led to a realization of a new vision, with roots in our collective heritage – one that captures our ideals and is the foundation of all we do, every day. A vibrant, caring, connected, and enduring Jewish community. Everything about our philanthropic engagement flows from that vision statement. This is who we are and what we are most passionate about. If we can’t connect an initiative to that vision, it’s not for us. No longer can we be everything to everyone. Rather, we are choosing depth over breadth, and thus our new vision spurs an increased focus and purpose to our work and a deeper, more meaningful connection to the community we serve, our brethren in Israel, and Jews all around the world.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

We also took an accounting – literally and figuratively – of our donors’ needs. And we discovered that our supporters and potential supporters are also aspiring to more meaningful connections. Today’s donors are entrepreneurial, they are strategic, and they are not nearly as content as their parents and grandparents were to simply cut a check out of duty, or faith, without seeing measurable results. They want engagement, and we want them engaged – because an engaged supporter is an impactful supporter and, quite possibly, a lifelong supporter and the future foundation of our proud community. In a sense, we aim for something even greater than community. We are aspiring toward kehilla – to be a community of people who come together with shared purpose and fellowship. We don’t want our supporters to just throw money at our

L’CHAIM

Federaiton’s NextGen team on Israel Mission

community’s challenges. We want them to throw their selves into them. To get their kids connected to volunteers through our Community Teen Initiative. To know they are making an impact on our community’s valued seniors and helping them age with dignity and independence. And to engage the unengaged through Shalom San Diego, which is connecting new residents, interfaith families, and peripheral Jews to a multitude of pathways to Jewish life. Finally, we took a long, hard look inward, and we asked ourselves the following question: Why us? Because no one else is better able to do it. No one else is more connected to

the Jewish community. No one else is as dedicated to its existence, vibrancy and diversity. And no one else has the means to connect our partners and catalyze change so that together, as a kehilla, we can make a lasting, meaningful impact and address the challenges and urgent needs that our community will continue to face. There was a time when Federation was seen more as an umbrella organization that funneled funds and support to our beneficiaries. And of course, we are still primarily motivated by our call to support the Jewish people and are inspired by the visionaries that made our Federation the force for good that it is. But today, as we continue to transform and adapt to our

present needs, we are animated by the belief that we can’t be a Jewish Federation without being in the community. And we are there. Every day. We will continue to serve our community, not from above, but from within. We will continue to support our partners that share our communal priorities. We will focus on our vision and on what we do best, remaining rooted in our timeless values, but with our eyes facing forward so that we can address the challenges of our future.

MICHAEL SONDUCK PRESIDENT & CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER JEWISH FEDERATION OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

OP ED l BY INGRAM LOSNER

A PERSONAL PLEA URGE CONGRESS TO REJECT THE IRAN DEAL

ast month, I interrupted my previously sacrosanct, family vacation week to ensure that my representatives in the US Congress reject the P5+1 deal with Iran, a pariah nation committed to the destruction of Israel, the exporting of terror and exerting its antiAmerican influence throughout the region. Because its possible ratification legitimizes Iran’s quest for nuclear weapons capability. Because the nuclear infrastructure and ability to conduct nuclear weapons R&D remains intact. Because the deal actually lifts the UN Security council imposed ban on the sale of ballistic missiles to Iran. Because the inspections and verifications program is fraught with opportunities to delay and hide and because Iran itself, ludicrously, will play a significant role in inspecting its facilities! Because the “phasing in” of sanctions relief in return for incremental compliance and behavior which is at least more consistent with the norms of international behavior, has now become a race to see which sanctions can be lifted more quickly than the others. 44

Because in 6 months – almost all of the sanctions related to Iran’s $150bn (with a b) worth of assets frozen in bank accounts will be lifted. Because this significant inflow of cash will now be used to further fund and sponsor terrorist groups and regimes whose value systems, moral compass and strategic interests are so counter intuitive to ours and those of our allies in the area. And because Iran does not have to account for its past (illegal) activities and protocols relating to its nuclear weapons programs (we do not therefore have any benchmarks against which we can monitor their current and future activities!!). The alternative is to reject this deal and continue to strive for a better one that makes better use of the leverage we have. Iran only came to the table because their economy was wilting to the point of possibly collapsing under the weight of sanctions. The reality is that this agreement makes war more likely as a result of the continued Iranian inspired instability and the likelihood that it will fuel a nuclear arms race in the region. When my country’s vital strategic and security interests are compromised so

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

severely; when the very existence of the only homeland for the Jewish people is so existentially threatened; when the ultimate sacrifices made by my ancestors and by brave American soldiers are so cheapened by the consequences of failed diplomacy and an absence of true leadership; then it is a small price to pay to give up 2 days of my precious holiday, to get up at 3 in the morning, and fly, on my own dime across the breadth of this great country, to do whatever I can to persuade San Diego and California’s duly elected Members of Congress to reject this terrible deal. My ancestors would have expected nothing less. And my sacrifice pales into complete and utter insignificance when set against the sacrifices that they made, the suffering that they experienced and the danger now faced by my friends in Israel. I ask you to join me. INGRAM LOSNER IS A LOCAL BUSINESSMAN AND PROMINENT MEMBER OF THE JEWISH COMMUNITY, HAVING SERVED IN LEADERSHIP POSITIONS IN MANY LOCAL JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS. HE CAN BE REACHED AT ILOSNER@GMAIL.COM OR HIS TWITTER HANDLE @LOSNER

EDITOR’S NOTE: This column does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publishers of L’Chaim magazine.

BY STEPHANIE LEWIS l HUMOR

mazel &

mishagoss Who Will Guard the Guardians From My Children?

eing Jewish, the only Godmother I ever actually knew was obsessed with pumpkins, mice, the stroke of midnight, and pranced around singing “Bippity Boppety Boo.” However I saw a lot of my non-Jewish friends give careful consideration to selecting godparents when their babies were born. I breathed a sigh of relief that we wouldn’t have to choose anyone. Fast-forward to a time when we grasped our own mortality and hired an attorney to draw up our living trust. It’s interesting that it’s called a living trust and yet they force you to name a legal guardian in case of your death. My husband thought it should be his mother. And by mother, I mean the woman who took a razor to our newborn baby’s head so her hair would grow in thicker and then sought a wet nurse because she was convinced I couldn’t breastfeed properly. My own mother (upon hearing the possibility that my mother-in-law was in the running) stormed into a fit of jealously just thinking about having to make an appointment to see her own grandchildren with someone who went out of her way to wear an allwhite mother-of-the groom dress at my wedding. “Who does she think she is? Snow White?” Clearly neither grandmother was a good choice. We moved on to siblings. My husband and I both wrote down the qualifications we thought made our sisters outstanding candidates. Each list had the exact same number of positive attributes, which got us nowhere. At my suggestion, we next jotted down both ladies’ faults so we could pick

the lesser of the two evils. (Hi Sis … I love you!) MY SISTER

Still eats Capt. Crunch cereal. Wears nylons. Wears open-toe heels with those nylons. Never saw Star Wars. HIS SISTER

Shaves her head. Became a wet nurse. Wears white to compete with brides at their wedding. Hmmmm, understand our dilemma? Also, do you understand his genetics? Next, we began to weed through our friends, but soon it came down to offering really good “incentives.” That’s a nice way of saying our kids were so bratty, it required bribing our mere acquaintances to accept this profound responsibility. My friend who owns a beauty salon asked if we’d throw in a lifetime supply of latex gloves along

with our five-bedroom home. (Apparently henna stains are unsightly.) I consoled myself thinking my daughter would have perfectly manicured nails for her Bat Mitzvah. What was happening? This was crazy thinking! What were the odds that something bad would happen to both of us at the same time? We could board separate airplanes. He hates to fly with me anyhow because I leave deep fingernail marks (nonmanicured!) in his arms during turbulence. It was settled. We wouldn’t choose any legal guardians because the plan was to live forever. As an extra measure of security however, I have an idea. I’ll buy our daughter a red curly wig and teach her to belt out, “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow!” STEPHANIE D. LEWIS IS A REGULAR WRITER FOR THE HUFFINGTON POST AND HAS A HUMOR BLOG AT ONCEUPONYOURPRIME.COM. HER BOOK “LULLABIES & ALIBIS” IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER @MISSMENOPAUSE WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2015

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