Lchaim November 2015

NOVEMBER 2015

LA JOLLA PLAYHOUSE’S WORLD PREMIERE p. 16

REMEMBERING FALLEN SOLDIERS Amid current Palestinian terror wave, families remember victims p. 32 T HE

T BAR /BAH MITZVA

ISSUE

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12 November 2015

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Features 12 A Thousand Words House of Blues San Diego: For Your Next Event

Cover Story 16 INDECENT: The World Premiere at the La Jolla Playhouse

B’nai Mitzvah 18 Simcha Do-Overs With Rebar 20 JCoSD Guest Editorial

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22 Gesher LaTorah: Conveying Jewish

Lessons to Teens With Special Needs

24 A Re-Imagined B’Nai Mitzvah Process in Cleveland

Food 28 They Tried to Destroy Us, We Survived, Let’s Eat!

Beet & Potato Latkes with Creme Fraiche, Chopped Chives & Salted Ash

Features 26 Susan Foster and Encore

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Entertainment

30 Israel Advocacy Via Talk Israel App 32 Remembering Fallen Soldiers in the IDF Through Their Families

Headlines 37 News to Know Now Columns

6 8 10 37

My Comic Relief What Jew Mean Of the Book Mazel & Mishagoss

PUBLISHERS Diane Benaroya & Laurie Miller EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alanna Maya CREATIVE DIRECTOR Laurie Miller

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO, LLC (858) 776-0550 San Diego, CA 92127

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Copyright 2015 L’Chaim San Diego LLC. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any CONTRIBUTORS means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without Yigal Adato, Daniel Bortz, Stephanie Lewis, the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in Rita Mailheau, Salomon Maya, Sharon critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission Rapoport, Eva Trieger, Deborah Vietor requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator” to: publisher@ lchaimmagazine.com ©

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5

RANDOM RANTS l BY SALOMON MAYA “If I had a time traveling DeLorean and I could go back to speak to the younger me, what would I say?”

my

comic relief Great Scott!

O

n 10/21/15, the Internet theoretically blew up with Back to the Future hysteria. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, in the 1989 movie “Back to the Future II”, protagonist Marty McFly ends up in the future thanks to his friend and time-travel inventor Doc Brown. The date McFly lands in future Hill Valley was October 21st, 2015.

Now of course the year 2015 looked much different to a film crew filming in the year 1989. Included in this fictional future were flying cars, self-lacing Nike’s, hover boards and the 19th sequel to “Jaws” (in hologram and 3-D of course). Yet as I drove around San Diego on that date, I noticed that the screenwriters weren’t even close to getting the future right. And that’s when my mind started turning. I thought to myself, “If I had a time traveling DeLorean and I could go back to speak to the younger me, what would I say?

I know Doc Brown explicitly said not to mess with my past self as meeting or talking with a past me could change the outcome of the future; but let’s go ahead and ignore that. Without apocalyptical repercussions, what would I tell young me?

1. DON’T BE SO AFRAID. When I was a little kid I was afraid of everything: the dark, spiders, growing up, staying a kid; the fear of fear. It’s what

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

made me quiet and reclusive. If my time machine landed me in the year 1994, when I was about to start high school, I’d slap me and say, “Man up, don’t be afraid. If kids laugh at you when you walk in a room, that doesn’t mean they’re laughing at you!” Oh yeah and also, “Don’t get drunk at your prom … it’ll lead to a very bad night.”

2. DON’T TOILET PAPER YOUR FRIEND’S HOUSE. “Hey, 1996 Salomon, don’t toilet paper your friends house on a Thursday night!” You will be caught by the police after hiding in a rose bush. You will be forced to clean up the toilet paper while your friend who’s house you just TP’d watches with a smug grin on his face. And then your mom and older brother will have to pick you up at midnight and take you to your dad; who will punish you for six months.

Wait a second, that toilet papering was awesome … never mind. Toilet paper away.

3. GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT! After meeting 1999 me, I would really smack the crap out of him. After coming back from Israel, I went to community college and I just never went forward from there. I was an honors student in high school and I just never had the drive I needed to succeed after graduation. I’d tell 1999 me to work harder to get out of community college and

get into a university.

4. BE HUNGRIER! “Hey 2006 Salomon, you’re going to move to Los Angeles, okay. Yeah you’re going to be scared and lonely but be hungrier.”

Yeah you’ll try stand-up comedy … but be hungrier! Don’t just try it a couple times and give up when you fail; do it again and again and again. Oh and by the way, never follow the blind woman comedian who kills every night. You just can’t beat that. And also, get new jokes … making fun of your Mexican Jewish man boobs gets old … quick.

5. DON’T MISS! “Hey 2014 Salomon, don’t miss the breaking of the wine glass at your wedding, man.”

Crap, I mean who does that?!

I’m sure I’d tell past Salomon’s a lot more if given the time. Maybe some a little too risqué for this periodical. In the end though, I look back at the past me and I smile. My past has made me the me I am today and you know what, I like the today me. So I guess if given the chance to say one last thing to all the past Salomon’s I’d say: “You’re doing a good job.”

SALOMON MAYA IS A LOCAL ACTOR AND PLAYWRIGHT. FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER @SALOMAYA.

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SPIRITUAL l BY YIGAL ADATO

what

jew mean

“What can we do to really focus on ourselves and be present to identify the things that block our success?”

How to Distract Your Ego from Distracting You!

R

ecently, a friend asked me to help them out as he was preparing to teach a leadership course. My job? I was to sit in every chair in the room and make sure that they did not wobble. If they did, I had to replace it. This was a large room, so after a couple of hours, my friend was able to explain the grand importance of this task.

He told me that people attend this course to work on themselves to get their ego out of the way and create transformation. The most important thing to do is to take away any distractions, especially a wobbly chair.

Just picture this: you are attending a course which cost $500; you sit down, and your seat begins to wobble. Your reaction would probably be that you can’t believe you spent so much money, and these chairs are so cheap.

When the moment comes to look at ourselves and work on who we are, our egos will do anything to distract us - from complaining about others to filling our minds with other thoughts. So the question 8

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

is, what can we do to really focus on ourselves entirely and be present to identify the things that block our success?

It happens in relationships and even in the workplace. When confrontations occur with those around you, instead of being defensive and making excuses, take a moment to think about what you are feeling.

If we took that moment to look honestly at how our actions caused a reaction in the other person, maybe - just maybe - we could understand and make sure that these types of confrontation don’t happen again.

The next thing you need to be comfortable with is talking about your feelings. So often, when we are with family and friends, instead of talking about ourselves and our feelings, we talk about others in an attempt to stay far away from our real emotions.

Imagine if you could speak freely about what you felt, and that others would listen and be with you in the moment. Remember: the more you share, the more you connect.

If you regularly talk about things that

aren’t close to your heart and mind, the people around you will share superficial connections that will eventually dissolve.

The most important thing you must do to be able to be present and attune to your feelings, your doubts, and even your fears is to schedule time to sit by yourself and feel these feelings. Take 20-30 minutes out of your day, turn off your cellphone and close your eyes. Make sure you have no distractions - not even a wobbly chair - and ask yourself what you are feeling right now and write that down. Once you have written those emotions down you can then go one by one and meditate on what is causing them and if there is anything you could do to change them or improve them. This step is crucial because as Mark Twain said, “A man cannot be comfortable without his approval.” If you can’t be happy with yourself, how can others around you be happy with you?

As the day went on, I was given more precise tasks and as I completed them, one after the other I began to realize how this affected the whole course and those who would be taking it. As a leader, you must be present to who you are and what you are feeling. Do this, and your choices and reactions will be mindful. Our mind is the most powerful success tool we have. If we don’t learn to communicate and control it, then we will always be making choices sitting in that wobbly chair, blaming others for our lack of self-awareness.

CONNECT WITH YIGAL ON TWITTER @YIGALADATO.

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TORAH l BY RABBI DANIEL BORTZ

of the

“Every trip to Israel is special; a Bar Mitzvah all the more so.”

book Mazel Tov

T

his is the B’nai Mitzvah edition of L’CHAIM Magazine, and by Divine Providence I am on a plane returning from an incredible Bar Mitzvah experience in Israel. Every trip to Israel is special; a Bar Mitzvah all the more so. But the recent terrorist attacks in Jerusalem made us being there feel all the more powerful and significant.

We encountered an abundance of blessings and smiles from Israelis, thanking us for choosing to come now amidst the danger.

Looking back on it, why had we? Couldn’t we have stayed in the states, or at least in Tel Aviv? What’s so special about a Bar and Bat Mitzvah that Jewish people want to go to such great lengths to commemorate it, even in danger?

On Wednesday, Rosh Chodesh Chechvan, we traveled to a secluded section of the Western Wall to celebrate the Bar Mitzvah.

The Torah is usually only taken out on Monday, Thursday, and Saturday, but we also read the Torah on the day of the new month, known as “Rosh Chodesh.” In Hebrew, the same word is used for “month” and “new,” as this day represents newness, a promising fresh start to a new month and future.

The Bar Mitzvah boy donned a very old Tallit, once belonging to his grandfather who survived Auschwitz. The next day when we visited the incredible Holocaust

10

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

museum Yad Vashem, we happened upon a well-known photo of a line of children, pails in hand, waiting for their ration of food in the Lodz Ghetto in 1942. Standing in the middle, facing the camera, was the Bar Mitzvah boy’s grandfather whose tallit he had just worn. The boy in the picture was 12 years old. Looking dejected and hungry, how could he have known that he would survive the ghetto and over three years in Auschwitz, ultimately having a grandson who, while wearing his very own tallit and surrounded by a large, loving family, would be celebrating his Bar Mitzvah by the Western Wall in Jerusalem?

Friday afternoon we headed to the Old City of Jerusalem. Taking a disconcerting detour (considering the situation), we were led through the Arab souk and past checkpoints, until finally reaching an open gateway with large arches beyond us. I could scarcely believe my eyes. In front of us was the entrance to the holy Temple Mount, where the Beit Hamikdash of King Solomon once stood. A great sense of awe came over me. Imagine what Jewish travelers felt years ago when ascending Mount Moriah toward the Temple Mount and seeing the majestic Temple, G-d’s home, a place the Talmud describes as “the place where Heaven and Earth kiss” (Baba Batra 74a). All of a sudden we were led into police headquarters overlooking the Western Wall. Challah and chocolates in hand, we

passed around our gifts to grateful soldiers, truly thanking them for working so hard and sacrificing to keep all of us safe as we enjoyed all Jerusalem has to offer.

Descending a long spiral staircase down to the courtyard in front of the Western Wall, we joined soldiers and danced, bringing in Shabbat, celebrating life and our privilege to be part of the Jewish nation, no matter how hard it gets. Anything worthwhile is a struggle to achieve. As I left the circle and made my way to the wall, kissing its ancient stones, I felt a renewed inspiration, yearning and connection.

This felt like my Bar Mitzvah as well; a renewed feeling of commitment as a Jew. A Bar Mitzvah merely kicks off a lifetime of new experiences and growth as a maturing adult. Our job as parents and educators is to make that first time of entry into spiritual adulthood as special and meaningful as possible. And even though we’ve had our B’nai Mitzvah already, let us never forget that this feeling of renewal can come at any moment if we let it. The B’nai Mitzvah is not the end but just the beginning of a lifetime of positive growth and renewal.

RABBI DANIEL BORTZ IS THE DIRECTOR OF JTEEN SAN DIEGO, JTEENSD.COM. FOR INFORMATION ON CLASSES, CONTACT HIM AT DANIELBORTZ@GMAIL.COM.

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L’CHAIM l BY ALANNA MAYA

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

L’CHAIM

A THOUSAND

WORDS

HOUSE OF BLUES SAN DIEGO: FOR YOUR NEXT EVENT

W

hen it comes to finding a location for your next party or event, there are myriad options in San Diego, with House of Blues at the top of the list. An unique location and ambiance can really add the finishing touch to your event, and House of Blues provides just that.

House of Blues San Diego is a 30,000 square foot site featuring indoor and outdoor space, offering a rich setting for corporate and private events, meetings and premiere parties. Whatever you have in mind, the team at House of Blues is dedicated to designing an exciting event that is perfect for your needs, including the next mitzvah event in your life. L’Chaim Magazine spoke with Rachel Gold, Special Events Sales Manager, House of Blues San Diego about the offerings for Bar Mitzvah celebrations.

L’CHAIM MAGAZINE: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING WITH JEWISH FAMILIES ON THEIR CELEBRATIONS?

Rachel Gold: House of Blues San Diego has been working with the Jewish community on Bar and Bat Mitzvahs ever since we opened doors in 2005. We are a premier restaurant and entertainment venue located in the downtown business district with the ambiance of an old Southern Delta Juke Joint. We provide the best in live music and eclectic cuisine, for events both large and small. From a sit-down lunch to a wholehouse buyout, our House can be yours!

L’CHAIM: HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN YOU ACCOMMODATE?

RG: We can accommodate small parties of 50 all the way up to 1,500. We have three diverse rooms that can cater to your party size and particular needs. Our private Delta Room can accommodate up to 80 guests for a seated dinner or 120 for a standing reception. Our Music Hall can do a seated dinner for 200 guests up to 800 for a standing reception. Our restaurant, Crossroads, can accommodate 100-350 depending on your desired set up.

L’CHAIM: WHAT TIME OF DAY CAN YOU HOLD A PRIVATE EVENT AT YOUR VENUE AND DO YOU ALLOW KOSHER CATERING?

RG: We are available for both daytime and evening parties. Catering for your special event is handled in-house, but in addition, we can work with an outside kosher vendor to meet your specific needs.

L’CHAIM: WHAT MAKES HOUSE OF BLUES A GREAT LOCATION FOR A BAR/BAT MITZVAH CELEBRATION?

RG: We provide a unique experience to have your special day in the same place your musical heroes have graced the stage.

From Meghan Trainor to Iggy Azalea, host a party where some of your favorite artists have performed.

L’CHAIM: HOW DOES HOUSE OF BLUES CATER TO THE TRADITIONAL OR NONTRADITIONAL BAR/BAT MITZVAH CELEBRATION?

RG: We are truly the perfect place for a family who is in search of a non-traditional experience. We are not just a blank space.

You can utilize our eclectic in-house décor or create a house of your own. From beach themes to rock n’ roll, anything is possible.

L’CHAIM: HOW CAN A FAMILY MAKE THEIR CELEBRATION UNIQUE AT HOUSE OF BLUES?

RG: House of Blues San Diego will work with your family every step of the way to create a memorable and unique experience.

For the music lover in your life we’ll roll out the red carpet (literally) and make them feel like a star. If you are looking to have a one-of-a-kind party that your family and friends will be raving about for years to come, we got you covered. We have the best connections in town for entertainment.

Why not throw in a live band before the DJ starts to set the mood as your guests arrive?

We have entertainment options that can cater to all ages.

In addition to on-stage entertainment, our flexible event space can be used to create an interactive experience for your guests.

Casino tables, air hockey games, foosball tables, airbrush tattoo artists, photo booth … you name it!

L’CHAIM: DOES HOUSE OF BLUES WORK WITH SPECIFIC VENDORS (CATERERS, DJS, PHOTOGRAPHERS) AND/OR DO YOU HAVE IN-HOUSE OPTIONS FOR THESE ITEMS?

RG: We are a one-stop shop for all your party planning needs. Anything from the DJ and photographer all the way to specialized decorations and full production, we have it all in one place. We can customize your WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

13

L’CHAIM

Check it out

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event, execute your vision and make sure every need is met with our experienced special events staff.

L’CHAIM: WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS YOU HAVE SEEN IN THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH WORLD?

RG: Nothing is too crazy for House of Blues!

One of my favorite things a client did in the past is they turned our entire stage into a lounge area for the teens to feel like they were in a club. I have also seen aerial artists perform on our stage, which had everyone in awe.

L’CHAIM: WHAT IS ONE OF THE MOST FUN CELEBRATIONS YOU RECALL, AND HOW DID YOU GO THE EXTRA MILE TO MAKE 14

THE CELEBRATION SPECIAL FOR THE FAMILY?

RG: To be honest, all of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations here have been a blast. I often receive calls from parents saying not only did their son or daughter have fun, but family and friends have been raving about the party for weeks. We pride ourselves on operating our events with the utmost professionalism and customer service.

I understand that planning a Bar/Bat Mitzvah can often be a full-time job on its own. The most important part of my job is to make sure the entire process for the family is as stress-free as possible. House of Blues handles all logistics the day of the event as we want the entire family out

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

on the dance floor rather than worrying about all the details that are involved behind-the-scenes.

Planning a private event at House of Blues is easier than you may think. Not only do you work with an experienced Sales Manager on booking the space and planning your celebration, but when the special day comes, you will have an on-site Logistics Manager handling all aspects of the party from start to finish. Our Special Events Staff is here to be a resource and will guide you along every step of the way.

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COVER STORY l BY ALANNA MAYA

The cast of La Jolla Playhouse’s world-premiere production of “Indecent,” co-created by Paula Vogel and Rebecca Taichman, written by Paula Vogel and directed by Rebecca Taichman, running November 13–December 10 in the Mandell Weiss Theatre.

INDECENT D

on’t let the title fool you—the latest work by Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Paula Vogel and director Rebecca Taichman is a theatrical and moving piece that isn’t the least bit racy.

“Indecent” follows the story of Sholem Asch’s controversial “God of Vengeance,” a seminal work of Jewish culture. The worldpremiere play with music will debut at the La Jolla Playhouse November 13–December 10, bringing the story of a play on trial to the stage.

“The play was commissioned by Yale Rep and Arden Shakespeare Festival; and I read it immediately, and along with our director of play development agreed that this had the potential to be a remarkable play,”

16

La Jolla Playhouse’s resident Dramaturg Shirley Fishman says.

The show follows the production of Sholem Asch’s 1907 Yiddish-language “The God of Vengeance,” which has had quite a history in its own right. Before its 1922 English-language Broadway debut, it was performed across Europe for Yiddishspeaking audiences who flocked to see their lives performed on stage. It is the story of a Jewish man who runs a brothel in his basement and was the first-ever drama on Broadway to feature a lesbian love scene (between the brothel owner’s daughter and a prostitute he employs). After its Broadway debut, castmembers were arrested and charged with obscenity, and the play itself

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

seemed to stand trial.

Vogel and Taichman’s tale follows the history of that work and the artists who performed it. A single platform and projection screen dress the stage, with set pieces and costumes setting the scene.

The play also incorporates movement and dance, choreographed by David Dorfman.

Yiddish texts projected onto the back of the stage, along with live musical performances give the play an overall ethereal and otherworldly feeling.

“The music in the play is representative of the time,” Fishman says. “[The writers] wanted to use music that reflected the span of time [in which the play was performed] and the locations of various scenes is

PHOTOS BY CAROL ROSEGG

THE WORLD PREMIERE AT LA JOLLA PLAYHOUSE

COVER STORY

important in this effort.”

“The first scene takes place in Warsaw, then it moves to Berlin [following the path of Asch’s original work]. The play was immensely popular all over Europe before it came to New York, so the music is representative of that, and once the play gets to New York, the music sets the stage, incorporating the popular music of the time.”

One part of the play deals with the public indecency charge raised against the cast of the “God of Vengeance” in its Broadway debut, while the other deals with a performance of the play in the Lodz ghetto.

As such, Vogel and Taichman examine the changing mores of the times during which each of these performances took place.

“In 1907, it was a pivotal moment in literature and theatre, in the sense that we were moving away from the time of the Jewish enlightenment and stories were moving away from folktales to issues dealing with real life,” Fishman says.

The resulting work is a full, deep rich

exploration of the many love stories the took place during the production of Asch’s play. “[These] are not only the love stories between men and women and women and women, but also the love story of a stage manager for the play “God of Vengeance,” because he becomes the protector for the play from the first time he hears it,” Fishman says.

“Audiences at the La Jolla Playhouse will see beautiful love stories between all kinds of people played out on stage. You will see human beings who have feelings for one another throughout the play and the story of how this impacted the people who performed the play, how it impacted Sholem Asch and his wife; and Jewish life before and during the Holocaust. It is a love story on many levels.”

In addition to the full run of “Indecent” at the Playhouse, a free staged reading of Sholem Asch’s “God of Vengeance” will be held at the Center for Jewish Culture Monday, November 2

at 7 p.m in the Rao and Padma Makineni Play Development Center. The reading is presented in collaboration with the Center for Jewish Culture’s Straight from the Page program, a staged reading series featuring new work and classic plays brought to life by professional actors. The reading will be directed by D. Candis Paule and will be followed by a talkback moderated by La Jolla Playhouse Resident Dramaturg Shirley Fishman.

A special evening of wine and food will preceed the November 24 performance at 6 p.m. Following the production, join the audience and La Jolla Playhouse administrators for a talkback event. A limited number of seats, reserved at a 20% discount for L’CHAIM readers will be available for this event.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT “INDECENT” OR TO PURCHASE TICKETS, CALL (858) 5501010 OR VISIT LAJOLLAPLAYHOUSE.ORG/ INDECENT.

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MITZVAH l BY SEAN SAVAGE l jns.org

Simcha Do-Overs

F

or some Jewish youths, the bar/bat mitzvah experience, like that of their teenage years in gen-eral, can be an awkward one. In most cases, the rite of passage is a culmination of years of studying in order to enter Jewish adulthood, and is feted in a large party with friends and family. But for others, the bar/bat mitzvah process can have negative elements and may even be an unofficial “goodbye” to their religious observance.

“The bar/bat mitzvah experience has been criticized as a shallow entry point to Jewish life for American 13 year-olds, and for far too many, it is their last connection,” Robin Kramer, executive director of Jewish non-profit Reboot says.

“As emphasis goes to details such as invitation design, party themes and music choice, less attention is given to the ritual of study, Torah, good deeds, and the significance of the moment of formal entry and welcome into the Jewish community,” Kramer says.

As a result, many Jews today, especially those in their 20s and 30s, feel disconnected from Judaism and have struggled to

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

connect to their sense of Jewish identity and community as adults.

Seeking to bridge that gap, a new program launched by Reboot is seeking to help Jewish adults reconnect to their teenage years. The “reBar Mitzvah,” as Reboot call its, asking a deceptively simple question, according to Kramer: “If you could have done one thing differently at your bar/bat mitzvah, what would it be, and why?”

Founded in 2002, Reboot seeks to “affirm the value of Jewish traditions and creates new ways for people to make them their own,” according to its mission statement.

Through a network of 480 members and 700 community partners, Reboot focuses on helping Jews to “rekindle connections and reimagine Jewish lives full of meaning, creativity, and joy.”

In particular, Reboot focuses on the younger generation of Jewish Americans who feel disconnected from their faith either due to bad past experiences or a lack of knowledge or skepticism about traditional practices, but are seeking to reconnect with Judaism.

“Through conversations amongst our

Reboot network (individuals in their 20s and 30s who see themselves on the periphery of Jewish life), it became apparent that many described their b’nai mitzvah experiences as alienating, short on meaning or offputting, and they have since struggled to connect to their sense of Jewish identity and community as adults,” Kramer says.

Indeed, the Millennial generation (those born after 1980) have trended away from traditional religion observance.

According to a 2013 study by the Pew Research Center, only 68 percent of the Jewish Millennials identify as Jews by religion, compared to 84 percent from the Baby Boomer generation (born from 19461954) and 93 percent amongst the Greatest Generation (born 1914-1927). Nearly onethird of Jewish Millennials engage in no religious observance.

According to Reboot, the reBar program is designed to draw in younger Jews by appealing to their diversity in both interests and makeup.

“ReBar events can take the format of a salon, community storytelling gathering, extended educational workshops, and

PHOTOS BY REBOOT

REBAR OFFERS A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR JEWS WHO FEEL DISCONNECTED

MITZVAH

The Reboot non-profit’s “reBar Mitzvah” event in Los Angeles last November.

ongoing engagement through the reBar online portal to upload stories and share experiences,” Kramer says.

The reBar program creates a simple and flexible platform to help its participants reflect upon their own bar/bat mitzvah experience as an adult, and to think about what they might have done differently.

From there, it enables the participants to connect to the present by learning and reaffirming their core Jewish values, and determining how they would like to engage with the broader Jewish community. There have been two reBar events so far, one in Los Angeles last November and another in San Francisco in January.

Heather Klein, a classically trained singer who specializes in Yiddish, says that if she were to have a do-over on her bat mitzvah, she would focus more on community service than on her musical performance.

“I definitely wouldn’t have performed operatic arias at my bat mitzvah party,” she says. “It seemed like a good idea at the time when my teacher proposed it, but now, I realize it watered down the significance of this life milestone. Also, now that I work with b’nei mitzvah students and watch

their progress and struggles, I would have focused more on Tikkun Ha’Olam (repairing the world) by doing some sort of good deed in the community.”

Reflecting on her participation in January’s reBar event at San Francisco’s Contemporary Jewish Museum, Klein says, “It was a wonderful thing to go through Reboot’s steps and really rewind back to being a Hebrew school student. I have never asked myself these kinds of questions about my experience and feelings at the time. Also, this will help me when I become a parent, so I can get my kids to focus on having a meaningful bar or bat mitzvah.”

Lisa Brown, a New York Times bestselling illustrator, writer, and cartoonist of children’s books, was one of several speakers at the San Francisco event. Brown, whose son is approaching bar mitzvah age, thought it would be fun to reflect on her own bat mitzvah experience. As part of her presentation, she says she showed pictures from her bat mitzvah and annotated them as if her grandmother were looking over her shoulder and commenting, “because she always had something to say about everything.”

“I think it is always worth looking back at our past,” Brown says. “Judaism and organized religion in general is all about traditional and ritual. For me, the people I hang out with are more culturally Jewish than faith driven, and so it is all about tradition.”

Brown added that as she and other parents from her generation get older, it is important for them to reflect on what culturally significant experiences they want to share with their children as well as what they don’t wish to share.

“Judaism is an evolving religion, that’s what makes it survive,” she says. “To me, it is a type of buffet religion, where you get to pick and choose what traditions you want to keep and what traditions you want to throw away. Reboot is bringing some mindfulness, if you want to be really Californian about it, to the bar/bat mitzvah process.”

Besides hosting the events, Reboot has created a DIY (do-it-yourself) toolkit that enables people to have reBar events on their own, with friends, or in their communities.

“Our programs and materials are malleable and adaptable, appealing to a wide variety of individuals and community organization partners—from Moishe Houses to Hillels, museums and cultural centers, synagogues, DIY communities, and Shabbat dinner tables,” Kramer says.

While there are a number of Jewish organizations attempting to appeal to the younger generation in order to preserve their identity in an increasingly multicultural America, Kramer believes that reBar has the potential to become a popular trend.

“It seems to us that reBar has the potential to become an accessible new ritual in Jewish life,” says Kramer. “It prompts introspection about the bar/bat mitzvah experience as an evolving part of one’s life, taking into account the past, present, and future. …

Reboot meets individuals where they are along their Jewish journey. From largescale public events to intimate gatherings, Reboot offers new pathways into Jewish life throughout the Jewish year.”

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

19

MITZVAH l GUEST EDITORIAL

A New Approach to B’Nai Mitzvah

JEWISH COLLABORATIVE

T

he Jewish Collaborative of San Diego (JCoSD) is a volunteer-driven synagogue that works hard to help find communal, personal and spiritual fulfillment for each of our individual members. JCoSD formed itself around the idea that spirituality is the way in which each person connects to something larger than themselves. Not everyone can connect with Judaism in a synagogue sanctuary.

Many of us feel most spiritual when we are reading a book, having a great discussion, creating art, gardening, creating music or rolling up our sleeves and getting involved in community. We work hard to connect members to other members who have similar interests. We build our program and experiences in an effort to create a 20

synagogue home for everyone.

Our B’nai Mitzvah experience has been shaped entirely by this vision. Each of our kids are different. Each of our kids have different interests, different concerns, different strengths and different challenges.

No cookie cutter experience can serve the needs of all our B’nai Mitzvah. We knew that we had to create an individualized Bat/Bar Mitzvah experience for each of our students.

During our early days of concept development, we imagined what a 13 yearold Bat Mitzvah girl might want from her Bat Mitzvah. What type of experience would teach her about her tradition and herself? What type of experience would show her that there was value in being a

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

part of a Jewish community? What type of experience would show her that Judaism is a tool that she can use to help make her life better, more meaningful?

We imagined that she was confident, smart, and social. We imagined that, as with every synagogue, we would want her to know that her Bat Mitzvah was about more than a party; that it was an honor to lead her community in prayer, to read from the Torah. At JCoSD we also want her to feel like her Bat Mitzvah was a totally unique experience, and that she created something with our help that the community will remember.

A little more than a year in, we have already celebrated a number of San Diego Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. And the experiences our students created with the help of their family and community along with Rabbis Gabi and Josh were indeed totally unique.

One of our students chose to forego the traditional speech and instead had his guests do a social action project right in the middle of services! Two sisters decided that they wanted to do their B’not Mitzvah together, even though they are a year apart.

The service they created was a beautiful testament to their sisterly love.

Here at JCoSD we live by our vision.

Judaism is a faith for all different types of Jews. And our programs and effort should reflect the differences between people. We are happy that our B’nai Mitzvah experience does just that.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT JCOSD, CONTACT CANTORGABIARAD@ GMAIL.COM.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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MITZVAH l BY MAAYAN JAFFE l jns.org

Exploring Gersher LaTorah PHOTO BY GESHER LATORAH

JEWISH TEENS’ SPECIAL DAY DOESN’T NEED TO CLASH WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

The Israeli Independence day (Yom Ha’atzmaut) program of Gesher LaTorah, a Baltimore-based organization that uses a multi-sensory approach to convey Jewish lessons to individuals with special needs.

“It was a day filled with light, joy, and hope,” says Adina Levitan, recalling the bar mitzvah of one of her favorite Camp HASC students. The New York-based camp, which each summer serves more than 300 children and adults with intellectual and physical disabilities, provides 13-year-old boys with summer birthdays the chance to study for and celebrate their bar mitzvahs on premises.

Levitan worked with many of the students, including a young man with Down syndrome whose name she chose not to disclose. She says the man’s counselors helped him prepare for the big day by teaching him to put on tefillin and working with him to say several Jewish blessings.

“It was a very special day. … His simcha (happy occasion) was all of our simcha,” Levitan says.

Levitan’s experience is becoming more 22

common, as the Jewish community strives to welcome, include, and serve anyone regardless of race, affiliation, ability, or disability. Yet a recent poll by RespectAbility and Jerusalem University found that, time and again, the Jewish community still shuts its doors to people with disabilities.

According to the study, people with disabilities are dramatically underrepresented within the ranks of engaged Jews, with 20 percent of respondents indicating they are unable to participate in Jewish life because of their disability.

“A person’s bar or bat mitzvah is one of the most important moments in their Jewish lives,” says Jay Ruderman, president of the Boston-based Ruderman Family Foundation, which promotes the inclusion of people with disabilities. “It is a rite of passage that should not be denied to any Jewish child, regardless of their abilities. I

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

would like to see every synagogue in North America commit to providing a bar or bat mitzvah to any Jewish child who wants one. This would be a huge statement by the Jewish community that every Jewish child is valued equally in our society.”

More often than not, according to Cantor Steven Stoehr, it’s not that synagogues don’t want to include individuals with disabilities, but rather that they aren’t aware of the need to do so or how to meet that need. Three years ago, Stoehr’s synagogue, Beth Shalom in Northbrook, Ill., was approached about Rosh Hashanah programming for people with special needs.

“We did some research. Nothing was going on at our synagogue or even in the area. So we created something,” Stoehr says, who reached out to national resources to pull the programming together. Ultimately, this process led to the creation of a Rosh

MITZVAH

Hashanah machzor (High Holidays prayer book) for people with disabilities, and subsequently Hanukkah, Purim, Passover, and Shabbat experiences. Finally, Beth Shalom founded Healthy Understanding and Growing Space (HUGS), a program that caters to children and teens at four Chicago synagogues. Stoehr says since his synagogue has by now hosted about half a dozen special needs bar or bat mitzvoth.

“We had one boy with Cerebral Palsy who could not stand or sit, but his cognitive self was intact. We had a very moving service,” Stoehr says.

At that service, Beth Shalom moved the Torah scroll to a low table on the main floor and allowed the boy to read lying down.

The congregation, recalls Stoehr, was brought to tears.

In Boston, two organizations serving people with disabilities merged 10 years ago to form Gateways, with funding from the Ruderman Family Foundation. Gateways’s B’nei Mitzvah Program prepares students with special needs for their bar/bat mitzvah with a combination of individual tutoring, classroom activities, and a weekly prayer service.

Gateways’s executive director, Arlene Remz, says that the program uses a combination of new technologies and evidence-based practices to prepare teens with moderate to severe disabilities for their big day. Gateways developed a Hebrew reading program based on mnemonic devices, through which several youths have learned to read Hebrew and eventually decode their Torah portions. The system includes an adapted trope (cantillation marks). According to Remz, there are students who could not read English who have learned to read Hebrew through the program.

A similar program to Gateways, Gesher LaTorah, exists in Baltimore through the Macks Center for Jewish Education. Gesher LaTorah’s director, Rachel Turniansky, says she and her staff use a multi-sensory approach to convey Jewish lessons. The common thread between the organizations’ different programs is their role in creating

a place in the Jewish community for these youths.

“Judaism is not a solitary act,” says Remz.

“But Judaism is not only about creating a Jewish community, it is to be part of a community of Jewish peers.”

Remz explains that many families with children with disabilities feel isolated— or isolate themselves—from the Jewish community because they feel unwelcome or unaccommodated.

“A person’s bar or bat mitzvah is one of the most important moments in their Jewish lives… that should not be denied to any Jewish child, regardless of their abilities.”

“The first closed door may be the last door. If a family does not feel welcome in synagogue or doesn’t feel welcome in a Jewish school, it is possible they will never get engaged in the Jewish community,” Remz says. “By opening doors—and gates—we are able to bring families in so they can better celebrate their Judaism individually, as a family and as a part of the larger community.”

Shara Gilbert lives in Efrat, Israel, and sends her son Yosef, who struggles with autism and several learning difficulties, to a special needs school in Gush Etzion.

He will mark his bar mitzvah in February 2015. Shara says her family is opting for a Thursday-morning ceremony at a minyan

Yosef has been attending with his father for many years, to make the experience less overwhelming for her son than a large Shabbat-morning bar mitzvah. Yosef will only invite select friends and family members, which will also make him more comfortable.

“There will be no party, just a small brunch with family and friends, some music—very chill,” Shara says, noting that her son has managed to learn the four p’sukim (verses) of the Torah portion’s second aliyah for his big day. She says she and her husband have asked several halachic (Jewish legal) questions as Yosef prepares to come of age, such as whether he will count for a minyan of 10 men and whether he will be required to stringently observe mitzvot.

“They ask me, ‘Does he understand?’ If he understands, then he is required to do [the mitzvot],” Shara says.

Isabel Sturman of Portland, Ore.—who harnessed a similar can-do attitude to ensure that her daughter, Hannah, had a bat mitzvah service five years ago—says, “I don’t care what abilities or disabilities your child has, [he/she] can do it.” Hannah, who suffers from an intellectual disability and is nonverbal, used a communication device to recite parts of that day’s liturgy.

She also recruited several family members and friends to take part in the ceremony.

“It was not only a gift they were giving to her by being part of her service. … She gave a gift to them by allowing them to help her become a bat mitzvah,” Isabel recalls.

“You need to allow yourself to think outside of the box,” says Gesher LaTorah’s Turniansky, addressing her comments to congregational schools and synagogues.

“Not everyone fits the model. If a school, the rabbi, the community are open to thinking creatively, it can work—for any student. … And it can be not the end, but just the beginning, of the child’s Jewish journey.”

MAAYAN JAFFE IS SENIOR WRITER/ EDITOR FOR NETSMART (NTST.COM) AND AN OVERLAND PARK-BASED FREELANCE WRITER. REACH HER AT MAAYANJAFFE@ ICLOUD.COM OR FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER, @MAAYANJAFFE. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

23

MITZVAH l BY RABBI ERUID C. LADER l jns.org

The Ties that Bind

PHOTO BY FACEBOOK

MARKING 20 YEARS OF A REIMAGINED B’NAI MITZVAH PROCESS

I

n recent years, many communities have taken a fresh look at their b’nai mitzvah ceremonies. How can it be more relevant?

More inspiring? And more likely to be a vehicle for continued engagement in Jewish life? After all, as we always tell our 13 year-olds, “It marks the beginning, not the ending!”

As a rabbi and former congregational and family educator, I welcome this examination. The process of becoming a bar or bat mitzvah should—and can—be incredibly meaningful for the child, the family, and, really, the entire congregation.

This is also why I’m happy to share the model that we’ve used for 20 years at Beth Israel— The West Temple in Cleveland. Already, with the help of Shinui: The Network for 24

Innovation in Part-Time Jewish Education, educators around the country have learned how our b’nai mitzvah experience engages the whole congregation. Ironically, it is a model that started out of necessity and blossomed into a defining and connecting element of our congregational life.

Twenty years ago, we found ourselves in a bind. We had just lost our rabbi and would be without another for the foreseeable future. Like most congregations, our rabbi handled the b’nai mitzvah preparation. I was tasked with filling this void; the mantra “it takes a village” would be my guiding principle.

I first met individually with each family at their home. We sat around the dining room or kitchen table, reading through the

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

child’s Torah portion, discussing questions as they arose, and asking the child to choose a section that would be his/hers to read and reflect upon for a d’var Torah (Torah-focused remarks). In the subsequent months leading up to the bar or bat mitzvah, our Hebrew coordinator (the lead teacher in our Hebrew program) took on the role of Torah tutor.

Another congregant prepared the student to lead the service.

But what about additional help with the d’var Torah? Reading a section during that initial meeting was lovely. But certainly it did not suffice to prepare a 13-year-old to deliver words of wisdom. This need, to empower the child to learn more and to share more, was the catalyst for Beth Israel—The West Temple’s Intergenerational

PHOTO BY EDWIN A. DAVIS PHOTOGRAPHY

MITZVAH

Image Left: Beth Israel—The West Temple in Cleveland, which has run an intergenerational b’nai mitzvah program for the past 20 years.

Above: Rabbi Enid C. Lader

Program.

Our congregation thankfully has some very learned and special older members.

We asked them if they might work with a student to help prepare their d’var Torah.

Six said yes, and as the years went by, they were paired with students.

Together, they study the Torah portion.

The older mentors provide background information, and help the students research commentaries and create meaning for themselves. Through this chevrutah (studying with a partner) process, each student comes to learn more about the mentor and his/her connection with our congregation. As this intergenerational friendship blossoms, we’ve seen time and again how the student’s parents come to know the older members of our congregation and, of course, how our mentors meet and develop friendships with our younger congregational families.

The program has tangible benefits for our older members, many of whom have children in their college or post-college years and are searching for additional ways to be actively engaged in the life

of our congregation. In fact, mentors say that the program deepens their own Jewish learning, as they learn Torah from new perspectives and seek to bring these perspectives to their mentees.

There is something very special about that first meeting with the family, sitting around the dining room or kitchen table and reading the Torah portion together.

The family formally sets off on their bar/ bat mitzvah journey with the child and his/ her parents reading aloud from the Torah.

Quickly, the conversation intensifies as they ask questions of each other, all within the framework of a rabbi sitting and learning with them in their home.

Congregation members Evan and Jill Fleisher reflected on how this bat mitzvah process influenced their two daughters, explaining, “The knowledge our daughters gained and the unique experience preparing for their bat mitzvahs were invaluable.

Having another adult other than us for our girls to confide in, to speak with, and to take guidance from, was an integral and special part of this. And as a family, we are closer now to the Temple and especially to the individuals who mentored the girls throughout their journeys.”

Twenty years since the program first started, our congregation happily continues it. Though the rabbinical position was filled many years ago, this intergenerational program adds so much to our community by personally touching the lives of so many members. One of the original mentors still works with students. Many other mentors have joined the ranks to help shape their mentee’s d’var Torah. The Hebrew coordinator still helps with the Torah reading. And over the years, some parents have even served as mentors to their children—with wonderful outcomes.

The program links our members more deeply and, frankly, connects people who otherwise might never meet.

This process also helped bring to life the concept that becoming a bar or bat mitzvah is the beginning. Students, parents, and mentors enjoy friendships

“The knowledge our daughters gained and the unique experience preparing for their bat mitzvahs were invaluable.” that extend beyond the bar/bat mitzvah experience. Often, on those meaningful Shabbat mornings, a mentor is called for an aliyah during his or her student’s Torah reading. What a heartfelt and deep gesture it is. It connects one generation to another through one of our most ancient and sacred traditions—the study of Torah. Is it rocket science? No. But sometimes, the best way to reimagine a ritual is to hone in on what made it special in the first place.

ENID C. LADER IS THE FORMER DIRECTOR OF CONGREGATIONAL AND FAMILY EDUCATION, AND CURRENT RABBI, OF BETH ISRAEL—THE WEST TEMPLE IN CLEVELAND, OHIO. SHE SHARED THIS INTERGENERATIONAL PROGRAM MODEL THROUGH SHINUI: THE NETWORK FOR INNOVATION IN PART-TIME JEWISH EDUCATION, WHOSE PARTNER AGENCIES ARE THE JEWISH EDUCATION PROJECT (NEW YORK), THE JEWISH EDUCATION CENTER OF CLEVELAND, THE JEWISH FEDERATION OF GREATER HOUSTON, THE JEWISH FEDERATION OF METROPOLITAN DETROIT, THE JEWISH LEARNING VENTURE (PHILADELPHIA), AND JEWISH LEARNINGWORKS (SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA). SHINUI IS FUNDED BY THE COVENANT FOUNDATION. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

25

FEATURE STORY l BY DEBORAH VIETOR

!

WHAT CAN WE SAY ABOUT SUSAN FOSTER?

26

PHOTO BY SUSAN FOSTER

S

usan Foster has been in the music business for more than 35 years. She plays keyboard and percussion and moved from New York to San Diego in 1973.

Her father is the well-known Wayne Foster and as she says, “Music is in my blood and we love what we do!”

Her business, Encore Event Entertainment is comprised of diverse entertainment and has worked with Grammy award-winning talent including: Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Brad Paisely, The Beach Boys, Natalie Cole, Santana, Justin Timberlake, Barbra Streisand and more.

Encore Event Entertainment was created in San Diego to carry on the tradition of creating quality musical events and productions internationally. The company is a full service event, entertainment and production company, servicing corporate events, charity fundraisers and wedding events. The company can work with any budget for musical entertainment.

Asked what sets Encore apart from other musical production companies, Foster replied: “One of the biggest things that sets us apart is playing the right music for the right length of time at the right volume.

I am intensely passionate about the right volume!”

Foster’s fiancé, Armando Cepeda plays bass and sings as well. He has performed throughout Asia, India and Mexico, with Foster having played in many countries including England and France as acting Musical Director, Band Director and MC. Foster has performed nationally in Hawaii, Wyoming, Montana, New York, Florida and Texas.

“Whether big band and swing, Top 40 or any type of music, we have an extensive playlist to offer. We provide a wide variety

of styles, including hits from every decade from the 1920s to contemporary sound.”

Foster said.

When asked what type of events are her favorite to produce, Foster shared that she has a special place in her heart for weddings and brides and prides herself on making the event particularly special for them.

“I love seeing people have a great time and enjoying the moment. I want the music to be a relief from the stress in life and help people forget about their worries, spreading love, joy, peace and happiness through music, ” she said.

Encore Event Entertainment customizes the configuration of the band and musical selections based on the vision of the client, whether that’s the bride and groom, chairman of the board or guest of honor. Encore is comprised of a core group; featuring a duo or trio or a full Las Vegas-style review with a full orchestra with specialty performers, dancers and entertainers. The company is fully licensed, bonded and insured.

Currently, Foster is the Entertainment Director for the La Jolla Art and Wine

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

Festival, recently held October 10-11 in downtown La Jolla (LJAWF.com). The festival raises funds for local schools in La Jolla. I this role, she scheduled many fine musical artists from all over San Diego and coordinated music for this wonderful 2 day event. On October 11, she performed with Encore and over 40 musicians for BraveCort, an event which raises funds and provides brain cancer research for children, but her company’s philanthropic efforts don’t end there.

“We support an organization called Hope2gether which provides education for prescription drugs and creates awareness in the community,” Foster said. “I am most passionate about family and have 4 sons: Benjamin, Joshua, Zachary and Gabriel who is in heaven. Gabriel passed away in December 2011 due to an accidental drug overdose. I would like to share information through this organization to help others.”

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT ENCORE EVENT ENTERTAINMENT, VISIT ENCORESANDIEGO.COM OR CALL SUSAN FOSTER AT (619) 838-7667.

WINTER CAMP! Wilshire Boulevard Temple Camps is excited to announce its first-ever Winter Camp!

The 5-day session, Wednesday, December 23-27, will bring together campers and counselors from both of our camp communities (Camp Hess Kramer & Gindling Hilltop Camp) at our beautiful Hilltop Camp overlooking the Pacific Ocean. All children currently in Grades 2-7, newcomers and old-timers, are eligible to be winter campers.

In fact, this session, which is designed to harmoniously blend novice and returning campers, is the perfect opportunity for kids to try sleep-away camp for the first time. And for these kids as well as our “seasoned” campers who just can’t wait until summer, Winter Camp is a great opportunity to try most of the activities we offer during the summer, including: • Archery • Arts and Crafts • Basketball • Campfire activities • Dancing (Israeli) • Drama • Ga-Ga • Limud (Jewish education) • Ropes courses • Singing • Soccer • Softball • Swimming (depending on weather) • Volleyball • Zip-lining • And so much more!

And, as always, campers will make new friends, spend time in nature, and explore and experience Jewish values.

The all-inclusive cost for our first-ever Winter Camp is $500 (includes all meals and snacks). Space is limited, so don’t wait!

VISIT US ONLINE TO REGISTER AT WBTCAMPS.ORG!

L A I C E SP

T N E EV

For our Readers 20% OFF TICKETS FOR

INDECENT

at the La Jolla Playhouse PLUS wine & food, show & talkback HURRY! Limited tickets available

NOVEMBER 24TH Wine & Food: 6-7:30pm on Weiss Deck Show Starts: 7:30pm Following Show: Talkback For tickets call 858-550-1010 & mention this ad for 20% OFF plus extras.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

27

BADASS KOSHER l BY MICHAEL GARDINER

They Tried to Destroy Us, We Survived, LET’S EAT!

BEET & POTATO LATKES l CRÉME FRAICHE l CHOPPED CHIVES l SALTED ASH

I

t is a myth grounded in reality: if you ask 10 Jews their opinion, you get 11 answers. And it is not all wrong. Oddly though, if you ask 10 Jews what they eat for Chanukah, 10 will tell you “latkes;” maybe 11. They tried to destroy us, we survived, 28

let’s eat latkes.

Most Jews, regardless of denomination, could tell you why we eat latkes on Chanukah, relaying the story of one day’s oil lasting eight days in the Temple’s ner tamid (the Eternal Light). Most know latkes—and

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

other Chanukah foods—are fried in oil in honor of that miracle. And most Jews know the backstory involves a great victory that preserved Jewish independence from the Greeks with the Maccabees triumphing over the forces of Antiochus IV (215 BC–164

BADASS KOSHER BC). A glorious victory.

Chanukah, though, is perceived as one of the least “religious” holidays on the Jewish calendar. It seems to be less theologically oriented and less clearly biblically based than many if not most others of our holidays. That perception, perhaps, laid the groundwork for what was to come and what Chanukah has become in America.

In many ways, its primary importance in this country is as a cultural counterweight to Christmas. The reality is the perception of a tenuous religious basis of Chanukah has given way to a Christmasization, if you will, of our holiday that begins on the 25th (another parallel) of Kislev. The elaborate gift giving that came to characterize Christmas has come to characterize Chanukah too. It has come to the point at which just about the only obvious visual differences are menorahs instead of tannenbaum and the fact gifts are wrapped in blue rather than red paper.

So, for this Chanukah I decided to make a dish that captures a bit more of what the entire holiday is really about, both today and at its core. I started with the “today” part by turning the latkes themselves red, one of the predominate colors of Christmas.

To do this I added shredded red beets to the potatoes in my latkes. This has the important added benefit of yielding a rounder flavor profile and making for great caramelization of the exterior of the latkes in the cooking process.

But Chanukah is not, and should never be, just the “Jewish Christmas.” It has been said of Judaism (mostly by us) that nearly all of our holidays can be summed up this way: “they tried to destroy us, we survived, let’s eat!” Yes, it’s a joke. Perhaps it’s not literally true. But there is a very powerful— and religious—core message in there.

At the heart of Chanukah and many of our other holidays is the notion of the “Jewish people” and, more specifically, the fact we are the “Chosen People”—the people with whom God chose to enter into the Covenant.

The notion of our “chosenness” reappears in much of our religious literature from the Book of Deuteronomy to the Mishnah and Liturgy. Our struggles—the ones where they try to kill us but we survive—are perhaps the most powerful evidence of the Covenant. And that is at the very core of Chanukah.

The oil lasting one instead of eight days is, yes, a miracle. But the Jews prevailing over Antiochus’ forces may be more so.

Antiochus, to be sure, had tried to destroy us. He killed many and outlawed the practice of our religion, mandating worship of Zeus. The Maccabean Revolt cost many more lives on the way to our miraculous victory.

And that is the point of the salted ash on the plate in this dish: a reminder of the struggle implicit in our chosenness, of the bitterness and the pain. The oil in which the latkes are fried serves the traditional role of symbolizing the miracle of the oil, the red of the beets symbolizes where Chanukah has gone in contemporary America and the salted ash symbolizes the religious core of Chanukah: the notion that we are the Chosen People.

So, once again: they tried to destroy us, we survived, let’s eat! In this case, let’s eat Beet and Potato Latkes.

BEET AND POTATE LATKES

Crème Fraiche | Chopped Chives | Salted Ash Serves 4

INGREDIENTS:

For the Beet and Potato Latkes: ½ pound red beets, peeled, trimmed, and shredded 1 medium onion, finely chopped ½ pound russet potatoes, peeled, trimmed, and shredded on the shredding disk of a food processor 2 medium cloves garlic, minced 2 large eggs ¼ cup bread crumbs (or matzo meal) 1 tablespoon Kosher salt 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper Grapeseed oil (or canola or other neutral oil, for frying)

FOR THE SALTED ASH: Vegetable peelings Kosher salt

DIRECTIONS:

1. Make the Salted Ash. Preheat oven to 350° Fahrenheit. Peel and trim the beets, onions and potatoes, reserving all the peelings. Place the vegetable peelings on baking sheet covered with aluminum foil and cook the vegetable peelings in the oven until they turn almost thoroughly to a black ash, about one hour. When they have ashed over, grind the resulting product in a food processor or coffee grinder. Thoroughly combine the ground ash with Kosher salt at a ration of four parts ground ash to one part kosher salt.

2. Prepare the Latkes. Meanwhile, using the shredding disk of a food processor shred the beets, onions and potatoes. Thoroughly mix the three shredded vegetables, garlic, salt and pepper in a bowl. Working in batches, wrap the mixture in cheesecloth and wring the cloth until liquid flows out and the vegetables are dry. Mix in eggs and bread crumbs (or matzo meal) until you can form patties that just stick together in your hands; if it is too wet, add more bread crumbs or matzo meal 1 tablespoon at a time.

3. Make the Latkes. Heat ¼ inch of oil in a heavy (preferably cast iron) skillet over medium-high heat until a shred of potato immediately sizzles. Form a small amount of latke mixture into a disk and fry on both sides until golden brown to test for seasoning. Add more salt and pepper if needed. Form patties about 1 inches wide and ½ inch thick in the center and slide into pan, cooking no more than 4 at a time.

Fry until a golden brown crust forms on bottom, then flip using a slotted spatula and fork and fry until golden brown on other side and cooked through, approximately 3 minutes per side.

4. Plate the Dish. Using your fingers (a spoon does not work well), draw a diagonal line of ash salt across each plate from the top left corner to the bottom right corner.

Place a latke on either side of the line. Spoon a dollop of crème fraiche on each latke and top with chopped chives.

FOR THE GARNISH: Crème fraiche Finely chopped chives

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FEATURE STORY l BY JACOB KAMARAS l jns.org

ISRAEL

ADVOCACY GOES

MOBILE

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

FEATURE STORY

I

srael news is everywhere these days, and myriad sources from the mainstream to the niche are serving it up—particularly during times like the current wave of Palestinian terrorism. But which content should a pro-Israel advocate read, trust, and share with others to make an impact?

The recently launched Talk Israel mobile app seeks to give a well-organized and personalized feel to Israel news consumers’ content experience. Calling itself the “first mobile app to bring you pro-Israel digital content from dozens of sources tailored to your personal preferences and interests using machine learning,” Talk Israel culls content from various sources, analyzes it, and crafts a personal news feed (called “My Stream”) for each user based on both their preferences among pre-selected news categories and the stories they read once they are using the app.

THE OBJECTIVE? Getting Israel supporters—through the vehicle of the news and information they read and share—to do more than preach to the choir.

“The challenge that we looked at, and wanted to give a technological solution to in this case, was bringing pro-Israel content beyond the base,” Dr. Amir Give’on, Talk Israel’s co-founder and CEO, says.

The app was launched with the support of the Adam and Gila Milstein Family Foundation and with the Israeli-American Council as its lead partner.

From Give’on’s perspective, a particular circle of individuals might either only talk amongst themselves or encounter those whose arguments they clearly disagree with. Those two extremes, he says, each represent about 10 percent of the population on any given issue—but Talk Israel’s goal is for pro-Israel content to reach the other 80 percent.

“We wanted to create an app that proIsrael activists would be able to receive and see content based on their own personal preferences,” says Give’on, a former aerospace engineer for NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. “We believe that if

people get things that are more relevant to them personally, they’ll talk about it more and they’ll be able to reach outside their circle.”

SO HOW DOES IT ALL WORK? First, Talk Israel monitors and aggregates Israel content through Rich Site Summary (RSS) feeds. Once a piece of relevant content is identified, it moves to the analysis phase, in which Talk Israel breaks the content down into 50 different “DNA” elements, as Give’on calls them. For instance: Is it light or serious? Is it short or long? Is it a video or text, or text accompanied by a video?

Users downloading the app can customize their content preferences from a menu of topics including medicine, environment/ agriculture, human rights, sports, science, arts and entertainment, coexistence, technology, business/economics, lifestyle/ food/travel, BDS, terrorism, anti-Semitism, Hamas, Iran, IDF morality and more.

But the customization doesn’t stop there.

Just like each piece of content on Talk Israel has “DNA,” so does each user—not only through their pre-selected topic preferences, but through the ongoing choices they make while using the app. On their personalized content menu, they can swipe left to bypass an article, swipe right to save it, or click it to go to the original piece, where they can also share the content via text, email, and Facebook. Throughout the process, Talk Israel builds its users’ DNA based on what type of content they are reading and how they are engaging with the content, and then feeds users future content based on their DNA. As Talk Israel also understands that it doesn’t “know everything” about a user even with their DNA at hand, says Give’on, the app occasionally experiments by sending users a piece of content that they wouldn’t normally select. “Every once in a while, we throw something at them different,” he says, so that users’ DNA can be adjusted. For example, particular users who haven’t selected food or technology stories in the past would perhaps be interested in such content if exposed to it.

Besides their personalized news feeds,

users can see menus of recent or trending content, or select articles by topic.

Of particular importance to Talk Israel, says Give’on, is that users share content.

“If I notice you read a lot technology, but you share human rights, I’ll show you more human rights,” he says of the app’s algorithm.

Media outlets or other content providers, in turn, can submit their work to the app at http://talkisrael.org/submit-content/.

“Our goal is really to bring in organizations, to bring in content creators, and really see what they want,” Give’on says, explaining that he can offer content producers information such as how far down a Talk Israel user is reading within their article.

Give’on says he believes pro-Israel organizations “all have the same mission” despite approaching it from different angles—which is precisely where the Milstein foundation comes in. The Los Angeles-based foundation supports a diverse group of more than 60 pro-Israel organizations.

Hadas Sella, the Milstein Family Foundation’s executive director, calls Talk Israel’s leaders—including Give’on, cofounder and Chief Creative Officer Gadi Rouache, and Chief Technology Officer Daphna Wegner—a “brilliant team” to work with. She stresses the foundation’s “reputation as connectors” in the pro-Israel world as an important benefit for Talk Israel, while Give’on similarly expresses that the app was looking for partners to “jump in and really be part of this team” rather than hands-off investors.

“We knew we needed a partner with the connections and passion to bring everything to the table … we needed more than just the funding to do this,” he says.

“It’s so refreshing to the non-profit world to have this business-minded, technologyoriented product,” says Sella.

THE TALK ISRAEL APP CAN BE DOWNLOADED IN THE ITUNES APP STORE OR IN GOOGLE PLAY.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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FEATURE STORY l BY JOSH HASTEN l jns.org

PHOTO BY KOBI KOENKAS/IDF WIDOWS AND ORPHANS ORGANIZATION

Amid current Palestinian terror wave, kin of prior Israeli victims not forgotten

From right to left, head of the IDF Casualty Department Col. Yaffa Mor, IDF Widows and Orphans Organization (IDFWO) chairperson Nava Shoham-Solan, and IDF Chief Rabbi Brig. Gen. Rafi Peretz with Sar Shalom as he receives his new tefillin at a recent IDFWO event.

T

he wave of Palestinian terrorism plaguing Israel has caused mass fear, injuries, and deaths. The news is almost impossible to keep up with, as violent attacks against Israeli Jewish civilians occur on an almost hourly basis.

Despite the chaos, one organization whose goal, almost ironically, is to care for 32

the orphans and widows of Israeli security personnel in uniform—soldiers and police officers whose lives were cut short in a war, terror attack, or even a traffic accident— recently decided to go ahead with its annual communal bar/bat mitzvah event in order to be present alongside the bereaved children during their special milestone.

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

The organization, known as the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization (IDFWO), is the sole non-profit recognized by the State of Israel that represents and supports the families of those killed while serving their country. The group provides social, emotional, and financial support for widows and orphans who have suffered the

FEATURE STORY

loss of a spouse or parent. The organization steps in immediately from the moment the family receives the knock on the door informing it of the tragic loss.

While the festive bar/bat mitzvah event for 45 children from all over the country was originally scheduled to take place at the Western Wall, as it is annually, the organization this week moved the event to the Herzl Museum on Mount Herzl as a result of the security situation in Israel.

Yuval Lipkin, IDFWO’s CEO, says that “despite the ongoing wave of terror, we did everything in our power to ensure that the event was held in Jerusalem, while taking the highest precautions to ensure the safety of those celebrating.”

Nava Shoham-Solan, whose husband was killed in 1982 in Israel’s First Lebanon War, is the organization’s chairperson. She had started working with IDFWO as a volunteer in 2007.

As the children gathered for a group photo in a plaza within the Herzl Museum confines at this week’s event, sporting their event souvenir white t-shirts decorated with their bar/bat mitzvah ages—13 (for boys) and 12 (for girls)—Shoham-Solan spent some time talking about the organization’s mission.

“When the man of the house is no longer present, the family can fall apart. It’s like a broken vase shattered into hundreds of pieces. IDFWO is tasked with helping to put those pieces back together and to help return the family to some sense of normalcy,” she says.

Shoham-Solan explained that in addition to the annual bar/bat mitzvah celebration, the organization hosts special camps several times a year during the Jewish holidays and during summer vacation, to allow the nearly 3,000 children the organization reaches to come together. She

stressed the therapeutic importance of those camps for children who have gone through similar tragic experiences, allowing them to be together in order to express mutual empathy, support, and understanding.

“These camps provide a forum where the kids can open up to each other, showing support, and assisting in the coping process.

It is therapeutic for them,” she says.

Shoham-Solan added that one of the most important goals of the organization is to be with the orphans during their most important lifecycle events, which instead of bringing joy can possibly elicit feelings of loss because a parent is missing.

“We are there when the children enter first grade to provide school supplies, [we’re there] like today to give them a bar/ bat mitzvah, when they enter the army, to provide scholarships when they go to college, and we even help them with small checks to pay for their weddings,” she says.

She says that the organization’s widow population of approximately 5,000 female participants (with some widowers as well) also have programming designed for them.

This includes trips and retreats, therapies, and courses—for instance, training on how to manage finances, which for widows traditionally might have been the responsibility of their late husbands.

Whether it is working with orphans or widows, Shoham-Solan says that another reason she was able to personally connect with her organization’s mission and become involved was because she saw firsthand the need for increased benefits for the relatives of victims. She says that when her husband was killed, she received the basics from the government, but realized that she—along with the widows and orphans she is now working with—needed much more to get by.

Following the Herzl Museum visit, the

group prepared to head to an event hall across the street for the actual bar/bat mitzvah ceremony. Shlomi Nahumson— the organization’s director of youth programs, who runs the various camps— says that while the entire day’s activities were originally scheduled to be held at the Western Wall, it was certainly fitting that the kids toured the Herzl Museum as part of their bar/bat mitzvahs.

“These kids’ families gave their lives for our country and our heritage. Some of them even have family members buried here [next door at the Mount Herzl Military Cemetery], and it was important for them to learn about the legacy of Herzl and the story of Zionism through this tour and presentation,” Nahumson says.

In attendance at the ceremony, which began with festive music from an IDF band, was IDF Chief Rabbi Brig. Gen. Rafi Peretz.

After giving words of encouragement and praise to the youths, Peretz, together with Shoham-Solan, gave each bar mitzvah boy his first set of tefillin. Each tefillin bag was embroidered with the IDF logo and the child’s name. The girls received ornate Shabbat candlesticks and a set of Jewish books.

Following the event, a festive party was held for the new bar/bat mitzvah children at the Jerusalem theatre, attended by Israeli President Reuven Rivlin, Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon, and IDF Chief of Staff Gadi Eizenkot. Despite the ongoing wave of terrorism across the country, the dignitaries all came, spoke, and celebrated together with the b’nei mitzvah as one extended family.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT IDFWO, VISIT WWW.IDFWO.ORG/HOMEPAGE.HTM.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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BOOK REVIEW l BY DEBORAH VIETOR

LET THERE BE WATER

FOR YOU, FOR ME, FOR EVERYBODY

I

n a compelling new book, Seth M. Siegel, lawyer, activist, writer and successful serial entrepreneur illustrates the tremendous impact Israel has made and the vital role it continues to play for water conditions globally.

With detailed research and hundreds of interviews, the book speaks to how Israel has combated and overcome her own water crisis, in the process assisting many other countries with water conservation and purification.

“Let There Be Water” is informative, inspirational and could well become recommended reading for students at all levels. There will soon be a book published for college students. Renowned environmentalist Robert Kennedy Jr. calls the book a “blueprint 34

for the planet,” with Michael Bloomberg hailing this as essential reading.

Although 60% desert, Israel solved its water problem and has an abundance of water which is supplied to the Palestinians and the Kingdom of Jordan daily. Years ago prior to the current crisis, Israel managed Iran’s water system and provided education to countries such as China. Siegel chronicles the work of water innovators such as Simcha Blass, who revolutionized how we use water for irrigation with a drip irrigation system.

During the 1930s, with the National Water Carrier Program, he pumped water to farms from the Jezreel Valley and with irrigation saved 70% of water. With development of large scale plans such as the “Fantasy Water Plan,” water was brought from the north to the south, trapping and collecting storm water, treating and revising sewage for the health of the region and rivers and drilling into the aquifers. Today he is referred to as Israel’s “Water Man.” Previously, the flood irrigation system was used, losing about 50% of water.

Beginning in 2008, with the growing water crisis, Israelis were charged more for water as building infrastructure isn’t free and funds were needed to develop desalinated water plants. A “Save Water” campaign was developed where double the amount of water was saved as a result. Due to these strategies, consumers cut water use by 16% and farmers bought into the program immediately. By 2013, a savings of nearly 9 billion gallons was realized, water which was previously lost each year.

Additionally, Israel developed a brilliant

L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

process of growing plants, fruits and vegetables with less water. Global seed companies such as Monsanto, DuPont and others have R&D centers in Israel with joint ventures. Farmers have been given an extra allocation of 20% of treated water for every unit of fresh water they did not use and they signed up for the treated water. This has saved Israel tremendous dollars and greatly contributed to the amount of freshwater saved.

Jewish National Fund’s role in assisting Israel regarding water has been enormous.

As JNF partnered with Israel and its farmers, their US branch and branches in other Jewish Diaspora countries raised funds from local donors to assist with between 30% and half of the total reservoir construction in Israel according to the book. Remaining funds needed to build the reservoirs were provided by the Israeli government, the Israeli office of JNF and farmers’ water co-ops.

When asked to describe the role of JNF and how citizens can help, Siegel responded: “JNF creates partnerships around the world. They build infrastructure and play an essential role broadly. Without JNF, Israel could not have gotten there nearly as fast.” He recommends donating funds to JNF and purchasing water certificates through them. He believes JNF is a good steward of funds donated to them.

Israel has always viewed water as a valuable, sacred resource and children are taught in elementary school the value of saving water through turning off water in the shower while soaping, shutting off the faucet while brushing their teeth and the importance

BOOK REVIEW

“He believes that it is dangerous to think of water as a free, limitless resource.”

of the dual flushing system for toilets. Siegel believes that part of the Israeli mindset is not to take water for granted. He believes people in Israel have a sense of limits, which helps to keep them from running out of water.

Concerning international relations with Israel regarding water, Siegel believes it will deepen as time goes by as Israel is the leader of excellence, the water world center

and the center of water innovation. In 2014, California Governor Jerry Brown and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu signed a cooperation agreement encouraging government, business and academic partnerships between Israel and California for the smarter use of water.

When asked if the water crisis is confined to a few states like California, Siegel replied is now in the western states in addition to the plains. He believes that it is dangerous to think of water as a free, limitless resource. Much damage is done by over pumping aquifers, not fixing broken municipal water infrastructure and not modernizing agriculture, in addition to not using water-saving technology, which is available.

Siegel believes Israel is a model for the rest of the world as they have the most sophisticated

water resource management internationally.

Management of water, he believes is apolitical.

He recommends charging the real price of water, ensuring funds for technology and infrastructure. As citizens, Siegel believes we should pay for the water we use and we can have as much water as we want. He believes the water system should be price driven.

Regarding a master plan for communities, he believes it is a matter of creating options. For instance, if we want green lawns then we need to pay for our water. Currently Israeli citizens pay ¾ of a penny for each gallon of water and this system can be applied elsewhere.

“Israel is a source of technology and opportunity with major past successes,” Siegel says. “Not everything Israel does is right for every country or community, but her problem-solving skills related to water, long range planning, educating people about water resources and conservation and utilization of water fees for water infrastructure and technological innovation are all relevant to people globally.”

IF YOU HAVE MORE QUESTIONS REGARDING WATER AND ISRAEL, FOLLOW SETH SIEGEL ON TWITTER @SETHMSIEGEL OR THROUGH HIS WEBSITE, SETHMSIEGEL.COM.

WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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HEADLINES

NEWS

TO KNOW

NOW WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

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HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR WHO SPIED ON NAZIS TO SPEAK IN POWAY

Marthe Cohn was a devoutly religious 19 yearold French Jewish girl when the Nazis invaded France in 1939. Her life then took a turn so extraordinary that it could have been pulled straight from a Hollywood movie script.

While the rest of her family fled south, Marthe decided to fight back. After graduating from nursing school she joined the French resistance and on account of her perfect German accent and Aryan appearance, was recruited to be a spy. Carrying forged identification papers, she infiltrated German territory in the guise of a German nurse desperately searching for a fictional fiancé (by this time her real-life fiancé had been executed by the Nazis).

On Sunday, November 22 at 6:30 p.m., Marthe Cohn will share her remarkable story at the Chabad of Poway, 16934 Chabad Way, Poway.

Following the event, Marthe Cohn will be available to sign copies of her memoir, Behind Enemy Lines: The True Story of a French Jewish Spy in Nazi Germany.

Ticket information is available at ChabadPoway.com/BehindEnemyLines.

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FORMER CAMPER RESTORES JEWISH CAMP AFTER FIRE

Recently, Camp Mountain Chai suffered extensive smoke damage from the powerful Lake Fire, even though it was saved from the devastation of the fire items. After an evacuation while preparations were being made for summer’s first session, the camp director found a temporary home for the program at a Girl Scout camp nearby. But what about the second session?

Yaron Lief, owner of Orange Restoration and a former camper, stepped forward to assess the damage. The smoke and soot from the fire left a stench everywhere, plus there were downed trees, problems with the pool and more. But the camp was standing.

Lief brought in a team of more than 30 smoke damage restoration experts who actually moved into the damaged camp so that they could work quickly. Working around the clock in three shifts, the camp was ready for campers two days early.

But that was not before a lot of work was done. Buildings had to be sealed up and gas pumped into them to eliminate the smell. Then hand cleaning was necessary in many parts of the camp. Plus, downed trees had to be dealt with.

In the end, Lief said that he and his team were as transformed by the quick and important experience of helping this Jewish camp as the camp itself was. Lief said he considers helping Camp Mountain Chai a mitzvah he was compelled to complete.

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JERUSALEM IN IMAX

JERUSALEM in IMAX will come to the San Diego Ruben H. Fleet Science Center starting November 20. Filmed in 3D for IMAX and Giant Screen cinemas, JERUSALEM is a thrilling immersive experience about one of the world’s most beloved cities. Discover why this tiny piece of land is sacred to billions of people and how archaeology is revolutionizing our understanding of Jerusalem’s past.

Prior to the opening, a screening followed by a Q&A with writer and director Daniel Ferguson will take place on Wednesday, November 18 at 6 p.m.

GLOBAL CAMPAIGN TO FIND DESCENDANTS OF SPANISH & PORTUGESE CRYPTO-JEWS

An ambitious and far-reaching effort to locate the descendants of Iberian Crypto-Jews (Bnei Anousim), launched by the Jerusalembased nonprofit Shavei Israel, has set off an avalanche of interest, with tens of thousands of people rushing to discover if they are historically connected to the Jewish people.

With the release of its new Spanish-language book, “Do You Have Jewish Roots?”, the organization was so overwhelmed by requests to download the volume that its website crashed. The 109-page book is the first of its kind, a how-to, practical guide to uncovering one’s Jewish ancestry. It marks the first step in a multi-faceted strategic program that Shavei Israel is starting to seek out and identify the millions of descendants of Spanish and Portuguese Jews who were forcibly converted to Catholicism in the 14th and 15th centuries. For more information, visit Shavei.org.

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

BY STEPHANIE LEWIS l HUMOR

mazel &

mishagoss Whose Bar Mitzvah is it Anyway? ”Today I am a man. But I listen to my mom and make my bed.” That was the beginning of my son’s Bar Mitzvah speech. There’s no question parents are still in charge of 13 year-olds, but ever stop to think how much control they exert over the Bar/Bat Mitzvah itself?

In the 2006 movie Keeping Up With The Steins, scenes of a Titanic themed Bar Mitzvah depict how over-the-top some parents become conceptualizing these milestones.

I’d justify the director chose Titanic for jokes about Goldbergs, Rosenbergs and Icebergs —but nobody asks me for analysis.

Nonetheless, most of the time it’s parents (and by parents, I mean mothers!) influencing the way these simchas unfold; and if pressed (and they’re honest) might admit secretly orchestrating these occasions for their own age group rather than their child’s. Some families resort to separate locations so adolescents can stomp, whoop, holler, (dipping hands in wax to their heart’s content!) without platters of earplugs for adults.

Here are themes for adults (catering to our own issues) in case you never got your turn at 13.

AGING

This theme needn’t be depressing at all; it can be energizing and lively. Choose beautiful but fragile gray paper for the invitation and crumple it in a wad so it gets nicely wrinkled. Construct centerpieces of reading glasses on chains placed at jaunty angles atop orange Metamucil containers. Serve an entrée called “Past Your Prime-Rib.” Bever-

ages include coffee/iced tea and Dr. Pepper, which is available by appointment only. Lift people up and down in wheelchairs during the Hora.

all tables so guests can wipe up after themselves. To emphasize Judaism, hang a banner proclaiming, “Cleanliness is Next to Godliness.”

LOSING WEIGHT

MIDLIFE CRISIS

DAD’S STOCK MARKET

MOM’S DAY AT THE SPA

Direct guests to sit at the Sugar-Free, FatFree, Sodium-Free, or Gluten-Free table with place cards shaped like scales. Project Jenny Craig’s picture onto the dance floor.

Use measuring tapes (for checking lost inches) as napkin rings. Serve Opti-Fast chocolate shakes (613 calories) in beautiful crystal goblets. And nothing else.

Bulls and Bears comprise the masculine room décor because it’s a jungle on Wall Street. Serve Mergers, Burgers & Acquisitions. Hire a live band to crash cymbals together throughout lunch because it’s only a matter of time until history repeats with the crash of 1929. Party favors? Shares of Levi Strauss, since he was Jewish!

WHO DO YOU THINK I AM, THE MAID?

Squeaky-clean theme moms will relate to! Place “Welcome!” mats for guests to wipe their feet as they enter and immediately separate people into lights, darks, and colorfasts. Waiters dressed up as Mr. Clean, The Tidy-Bowl Man, and Madge The Manicurist lookalikes stroll around pointing at bowls of matzo ball soup, advising guests, “You’re soaking in it!” Strategically place beautiful blue Windex bottles and rags on

Engrave invitations on Red Ferrari brochures. Craft clever centerpieces out of gold chains, hairpieces, and Botox injection syringes. Make sure entrée plates are mirrored so guests can keep glimpsing their own reflections as needed. Print Jewish marriage vows on cocktail napkins for added reinforcement.

Book La Costa Resort & Spa and redecorate it to look like Israel. Photographs will look awesome with guests wearing Dead Sea mud masks.

The Wedding We Never Had! And why not?

MENOPAUSE

Napkins folded/creased like fans for hot flashes. Perch plates on pillows for unexpected naps. Serve Black Cohash squash gently sautéed in Evening Primrose Oil. Have the DJ announce that Sarah gave birth to Isaac when she was only 91. Oy! STEPHANIE D. LEWIS WRITES FOR THE HUFFINGTON POST AND HAS A HUMOR BLOG AT ONCEUPONYOURPRIME.COM FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER @MISSMENOPAUSE WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM

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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER 2015

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