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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
contents
10
September 2016 • www.lchaimmagazine.com
in this issue...
10 14 18 20 24 26 28
1000 WORDS Cheri Weiss: Music, Sentiment & Prayer....................................................................................... HIGH HOLIDAYS Celebrate the High Holidays without stepping foot in a shul........................................
Fast-Food Solidarity.................................................................................................................................. National Geographic introduces kids to High Holidays...................................................
The Rosh Hashanah wakeup call.................................................................................................... Kol Nidre and the white fire of the Iran discourse................................................................
Can different Jews unite for the High Holidays?.................................................................. FOOD Badass Kosher: Modernist Matzo Balls | Tomato Matzo Ball Soup with Pickled Garlic Chive......................................................................................................................
MUSIC, SENTIMENT & PRAYER
20
30 32 36 38 40 06 08 45
TEACHING OUR KIDS
32
FEATURES Film highlights stories of the IDF and Ethiopian Jewry..................................................... Forever the Outsider: NY group trains Jews in self-defense....................................... Flamenco dancer shares her passion......................................................................................... Kindling Spirits: AISH San Diego..................................................................................................... COLUMNS Random Rants: My Comic Relief..................................................................................................... Torah: Of the Book...................................................................................................................................
Humor: Mazel & Mishagoss.................................................................................................................
PUBLISHERS Diane Benaroya & Laurie Miller EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alanna Maya
ON THE BIG SCREEN
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Copyright ©2016 L’Chaim San Diego LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, CONTRIBUTORS Daniel Bortz, Stephanie Lewis, Mimi Pollack, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews Salomon Maya, Sharon Rapoport, Nikki and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to Salvo, Eva Trieger, Deborah Vietor the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator” to: publisher@lchaimmagazine.com
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RANDOM RANTS l BY SALOMON MAYA
my
comic relief Stop the Emotion!
“HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A BUBBE WITH A NEW IPHONE.”
E
moji’s. They are the bane of my existence. What at first seemed like a cute and unique way of expressing an emotion has turned into the overused fad of the decade. One might look at the reasons for this phenomenon and wonder how and why this happened; but I believe I have found the answer: mothers. Since I only have one mother, I shall use her as an example (sorry mom — feel free to use the thumbs down emoji when emailing my editor). My mom. Once a soothing voice when I fell down and of reason when I screwed up, is now so full of random information (thanks to her diving deep into the world of social media) that my brothers and I have dubbed her random rants “Bubbe CNN.” Shabbat dinners have turned into long discussions on arbitrary current events mostly started by my mom reading something on her cousins Facebook wall. Conspiracy theories, ranging from the political to the absurd, air frequently on Bubbe CNN. Now, this is all fine. I love that my mother is using the internet to stay in the know. She has embraced technology quite well. But, when it comes time to send a text, well … hell hath no fury like a Bubbe with a new iPhone. My mother’s texts are so full of “emotion,” I never know what to think. Plus, even though she tries to stay current with events, her lack of in-depth tech knowledge sometimes takes a turn into the bizarre, albeit comedic, route.
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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
CASE #1
I come home after work and the wife asks, “Salomon, why does your mom keep sending me the lesbian emoji?” Now, I’ve been alive for 36 years and I have heard many phrases, but never did I ever think that particular phrase would ever come from my wife’s mouth. I asked what she was talking about and she produced a text conversation with my mom where my mother had ended almost every reply with the two women holding hands emoji. Now, I know many of you are saying… that’s not the lesbian emoji! That can be two female friends or a mother and a daughter... Or two lesbians (not that there is anything wrong with that). Therein lies the rub my friends. Emoji’s and their meaning are very subjective; one person can see an emoji of two women holding hands being friends, family or lovers. So when a mother-in-law sends that particular emoji to her daughter-in-law, one can see where confusion can arise. CASE #2
On Saturday, July 24, 2016 at 10:09 a.m., my mother sent me the following iMessage: “Happy Sunday, I love you four.” (By four she meant myself, the wife, my son and the dog). So what’s wrong with that? Nothing! What caught my eye was what followed. Two Emoji’s. One of a man and woman sharing a kiss with a heart between them… and
the second emoji was the yellow happy face winking. Now again, my mother has only good intentions, but unknowingly sent two emoji’s that are just wrong. And I began to think, OMG, has she sent texts like this to her co-workers? Other family members? Random people? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I love my mom. She’s one of the hardest working women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. She has been a member of the Jewish community in San Diego for decades and is proud to call many people her friends. So, if you ever receive a text from her, with an eggplant emoji… that doesn’t mean… well, you know. It means she probably is having a healthy dinner. And if she ends a text with two women holding hands? It’s just a “hey, I love and miss you.” See, this is what we have to do when it comes to mothers and technology. They don’t come with an iMessage thesaurus so we must not believe what they send via text is verbatim. They’re mothers… and we love them. One big red heart emoji at a time. SALOMON MAYA IS A LOCAL ACTOR AND PLAYWRIGHT. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER @SALOMAYA OR EMAIL HIM AT SALOMONM@ LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM.
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7
TORAH l BY RABBI DANIEL BORTZ
of
the book High Holidays “THE MONTH OF TISHREI IS A UNIQUE SPIRITUAL TIME FULL OF OPPORTUNITIES AT OUR FINGERTIPS. EVEN THE ATMOSPHERE IS UPLIFTED.”
I
n the late 18th Century, there lived a special Jew named Shmuel Munkis. Whenever the High Holidays would near on the calendar, Shmuel would prepare to travel to his beloved teacher the Alter Rebbe for the inspiration he needed to approach these holy days properly. One year, Shmuel encountered a problem: He was broke. Anyone who wanted to travel a great distance in those days without a wagon had to travel by foot, even in the freezing Russian winter; and undeterred, Shmuel set off on the long journey. As he trudged along the side of the road under torrents of snow, a wagon pulled up beside him. The driver called out to Shmuel and asked him his destination. Seeing as they were heading in the same direction, he offered him a ride. Lucky as he was to find a lift, Shmuel was forced to sit on the back of the wagon under the open sky among the driver’s barrels of liquor. Freezing, he called out to the driver and asked permission to take a small drink from one of the barrels. As he sipped from his cup, Shmuel finally began to feel warmth flow through his body. When he reached his Rebbe’s town, Shmuel ran straight into the central
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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
synagogue and called his friends over, and explained: “I learned something powerful on my journey here. I came to realize that we can be surrounded by potential warmth, but if we fail to internalize that warmth, we will always remain cold.” We have access to oxygen everywhere, but to enjoy its benefits we have to actually breathe it in. Standing by the pool on a hot day will not cool us off. Similarly, in life we are given special moments of potential inspiration and wisdom at our doorstep waiting to be felt and internalized. The month of Tishrei is a unique spiritual time full of opportunities at our fingertips. Even the atmosphere is uplifted. The Divine Presence is always close by, but obstacles that might usually challenge our feelings of connection are temporarily lifted at this time and the pathway is clear. The special words of prayer, soundings of the ram’s horn, outdoor dwellings of the Sukkah huts and the other traditions of this month are all opportunities to internalize our Jewish feeling of spiritual connection. Emunah - faith, stems from the word amoncraftsman. Like a silversmith who beats on his sword, it takes continual awareness and work to internalize spiritual ideas. If we’re moved
during a special moment, it is important to really connect and identify with it, to internalize and bring that awareness into our daily lives. We know that any relationship worth having needs constant nurturing and effort. And always, but especially at this time of year, let’s remember that our connection with the Divine is as accessible as the air we breathe and as sweet and invigorating as a warm drink on a cold winter’s night. RABBI DANIEL BORTZ IS THE DIRECTOR OF JTEEN SAN DIEGO, JTEENSD.COM. FOR INFORMATION ON CLASSES, CONTACT HIM AT DANIELBORTZ@GMAIL.COM.
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L’CHAIM l BY SHARON RAPOPORT
10
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
L’CHAIM
A THOUSAND
WORDS
CHERI WEISS: MUSIC, SENTIMENT AND PRAYER
I
n September 2015, Howard Weiss was unable to attend High Holy Days services due to an illness. However, he wished to listen to his daughter-in-law, Cheri Weiss, sing Kol Nidre. The problem was, Mr. Weiss (z¨l), lived in Wisconsin; and Cheri had a previous commitment to serve as a High Holy Days Cantor at Temple Emanu-El in Providence, Rhode Island. The request seemed impossible to fulfill. Cheri figured her only option was to send him a recording of her singing the special prayer. She was later told that as he listened to it, he came to tears, and asked to hear the recording over and over. Thus, it occurred to Weiss that there must be thousands of people in similar situations: homebound, unable to attend services, but yearning for the prayers and melodies of the Days of Awe. The idea for “Hineni” was born. This year, Weiss is planning on delivering close to one thousand “Hineni” CDs, free of charge, to non-profit organizations, Chaplains and clergy who work in hospitals, hospices and retirement homes. In this interview, we talk about music, Judaism, and how “Hineni” came to be. L’CHAIM MAGAZINE: WHAT CAN WE EXPECT TO HEAR IN “HINENI”? CHERI WEISS: I have selected several
prayers from the various services (i.e. Selichot, Erev Rosh Hashanah, Musaf for Yom Kippur,
Ne’ilah etc.) so that people listening to it can feel that they are experiencing the journey of the High Holy Days.
between music and Jewish prayer. There are numerous references in the Bible to music and musicians, so it’s a part of our long history.
L’CHAIM: HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO MAKE THE PRODUCTION OF HINENI POSSIBLE? CW: I launched a crowdfunding campaign
L’CHAIM: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF JEWISH MUSIC? CW: I have always been drawn to music
and raised $10,000, which paid for about 85 percent of recording, editing and reproduction of the album; the musicians; the graphics and photography; as well as song licensing. There are some amazing musicians playing on the album, so there is a wonderful variety of sound. L’CHAIM: WHERE IS THE CD DISTRIBUTED? CW: I have offered free copies of the album
to every hospital Chaplain or Spiritual Care Director in San Diego County and to those in many hospices and retirement homes. It is also being offered to all members of the National Association for Jewish Chaplains. Jewish Family Services in San Diego and Palm Springs are distributing it, and I have been reaching out to Jewish Family Services in other parts of California. I have already received requests from states such as Pennsylvania, Massachusetts and Missouri. L’CHAIM: WHAT ROLE DOES MUSIC PLAY IN THE JEWISH HIGH HOLIDAY PRAYER AND RELIGIOUS SERVICES? CW: There is a kind of magical connection
sung in Hebrew. I lived in Israel for six years and fell in love with the music of Israeli stars such as Mati Caspi, Chava Albershtein and Rami Kleinshtein. I worked with several top songwriters and wrote English song lyrics for Israeli pop stars who were trying to build a career outside of Israel. For some inexplicable reason, I sing better in Hebrew than I do in English. Hebrew music — secular and liturgical — has a way of touching my heart and soul like no other music. L’CHAIM: YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO GET A CANTOR´S DEGREE, AND REGULARLY LEAD SERVICES. WHAT LEAD YOU ON THIS PATH? CW: I have a BA and MA in vocal
performance and have taught voice classes. I was a Cantorial soloist for many years and always felt deep down that I had missed my true calling as a Cantor. Years ago my daughter, Emma, told me that I needed to get out of real estate and back into music. I told her that was a pipedream. But G-d had different plans for me, and one by one, the doors to the Cantorate began to open for me. When I joined Congregation Beth El WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
11
L’CHAIM
Check it out www.hazzanit.com
a few years ago, I began leading services and learning how to chant Haftarah and eventually Torah. One day, my Haftarah teacher, Gene Newman, said to me, “You need to go to Cantorial school because you have ‘kavanah,’” which roughly translates into “spiritual intention.” Now I am using my education and musical gifts to make other people’s lives hopefully a little bit better, to make them feel connected to the High Holy Days even if they can’t go to synagogue services. I believe that these holidays take place in your heart no matter where you may be. L’CHAIM: WHAT IS YOUR GOAL WHEN LEADING SERVICES DURING THESE HIGH HOLIDAYS? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONVEY TO THE CONGREGANTS THROUGH YOUR VOICE AND SENTIMENT? CW: My personal mission is to create and 12
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
elevate community and spirituality through liturgical music whether that be through my CD or at the synagogue. The prayer Hineni translates into “Here I Stand” and it is the only prayer sung solely by the Cantor and not the congregation. In this prayer, the Cantor implores G-d to accept her prayers on behalf of the congregation and not to hold any of the Cantor’s shortcomings against the congregation. It is the most humbling of prayers. I feel those words to the core of my being. It is a huge responsibility to be a Cantor, particularly for the High Holy Days. It’s not enough just to sing well. I have to feel so connected to the music and prayers and the sentiment and emotion behind them that through me each congregant is taken on his or her own spiritual journey. If after the High Holy Days, everyone feels even a little more hopeful about life
and maybe makes a commitment to Tikkun Olam (“repairing the world”), then I will feel that I have fulfilled my purpose. Chazannit Cheri is a Cantorial candidate at the Academy for Jewish Religion in Los Angeles, and the Cantorial Intern at Congregation Beth El in La Jolla. She is also the choir director of Beth El´s Shireinu Chorus. She has served as a High Holidays Day Cantor at Temple Emanu-El in Providence, Rhode Island, for the past two years, and will be joining the congregation this year. Hineni: Music for the High Holy Days is sold at www.Hazzanit.com. Sales help offset some of the out-of-pocket costs of this project. It is also available in digital download format. For more information, contact Cheri@Hazzanit.com.
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HIGH HOLIDAYS l BY MAAYAN JAFFE-HOFFMAN | jns.org
HIGH HOLIDAYS
NO NEED TO GO
TO SHUL This Year, Celebrate the High Holidays Without Stepping Foot in a Shul
T
here is a lot of beauty to the traditional synagogue experience. However, a traditional High Holidays service just does not speak to some – especially many young adults. “Buying seats for the High Holidays is super expensive,” says Rachel Moses, a marketer for a Jewish non-profit from Mt. Washington, Md. “It also just doesn’t feel like it’s my place.” If you think like Moses – considering skipping the tickets, and celebrating Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur outside the traditional four walls of your family synagogue – here are nine alternative ways to connect to the High Holidays without stepping foot in a shul. Thomas Arnold, who works in homeland security and is from Pikesville, Md. says people often interpret Yom Kippur as a heavy day of repentance. In contrast, the day’s prohibitions – things like fasting, not wearing leather footwear, not making love to your partner, refraining from taking a bath – are intended to help us think less about our own needs and more about those of others. “The point is to understand there are people that don’t have food, that don’t have water, that don’t have shoes to wear,” explains Arnold, citing the eighteenth-century ethical Jewish book “Mesillat Yesharim: The Path of the Upright” by Italian Rabbi and philosopher Moshe Hayyim
THE SHOFAR IS CUSTOMARILY BLOWN ON ROSH HASHANAH. 14
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
PHOTO CREDIT WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
BUILD COMMUNITY
HIGH HOLIDAYS
OBSERVANT JEWS PERFORMING A TASHLICH CEREMONY IN ISRAEL.
Luzzatto. “We don’t have sex, because there are people in the world who don’t have partners and cannot connect in that way,” Arnold says. Arnold looks for people who are in need, lacking something or are lonely, and makes a point of giving to them during the High Holiday season. Sometimes he invites them over for a meal, and other times he just lends them a helping hand. “On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, make it about other people,” he says. CELEBRATE AROUND THE TABLE
Rabbi Jessy Gross, named by The Forward as one of the most inspiring rabbis of 2016, says
some of her best holiday memories are not from the synagogue, but from places where people came together – like at her holiday table. “Having meals with other people, especially if the person hosting can serve traditional Jewish foods, creates an opportunity ... to celebrate Jewish food and culture,” says Gross. Shari Seidman Klein of Beit Shemesh in Israel, agrees. She cooks a holiday meal for her family, as well as for her children, a few of whom choose not attend traditional activities. Apples and honey, round raisin challah, and other sweet things bring the kids and their friends back to her dining room each year.
CHANGE SOMETHING
Klein says she often instructs her Hebrew school students, many whom are products of intermarriage, to use the High Holidays as a time to better themselves. She tells them, “Take on one thing for one day.” For example, rather than fasting on Yom Kippur, she recommended giving up candy, soda or something else they like to eat. Older individuals might decide to give up the personal comfort of watching TV, or they might make the higher commitment of refraining from talking badly about others. “It’s the idea of tikkun olam, bettering the world,” says Klein. “That one thing on that one day can take you back to the basics of being - and thinking.” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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HIGH HOLIDAYS
DO TASHLICH
One of Gross’s favorite rituals in Tashlich, for which all a person needs is access to a body of natural water such as a creek, pond or river. She recommends to take some bread or crackers, and spend some time by the water meditating or journaling. “I like to think about where I have missed the mark or haven’t reached my potential and cast this out,” she says. “It is great opportunity to ... think about what you want as we evolve into the coming year. It’s a process of spiritual cleansing and preparedness.” FIND AN ALTERNATIVE MINYAN
The Israeli organization Tzohar has been working to bring together the religious and secular Jewish communities in the Jewish state. In the central city of Lod, Tzohar’s Executive Vice President Yakov Gaon says his organization found that many secular Israelis refrain from going to synagogue not because they don’t want to pray, but because the service is too fast, politicized, costly or uncomfortable. “They don’t know how to dress, when to stand up or sit down,” Gaon says. About 15 years ago, Tzohar began creating alternative minyans in community centers, schools and gyms. The services bring likeminded people together. Each service is assigned a leader that announces the prayer page numbers to read, and explains what’s happening in the prayers. Today, more than 56,000 people take part in these Yom Kippur services at 300 locations across Israel. An additional 1,500 people attend one of Tzohar’s 60 Rosh Hashanah services. GO TO ISRAEL
In general, traveling to Israel on the High Holidays is a more special experience than traveling to the Jewish state during nearly any other time of year, explains Arnold, whose daughter is studying in Israel for the year. Arnold says Israelis have a reputation for being rude or pushy, but during the Hebrew month of Elul – the month leading up to
16
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
Rosh Hashanah – Israelis tend to mellow out. “It’s like they know it instinctively,” Arnold says with a laugh. “Their Jewish souls come out and they know it is the Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days) and they better get themselves together.” The whole country prepares with holiday festivals, music, delicious holidays foods and smells, he says. HOLD A DISCUSSION GROUP
Skipping the rabbi’s sermon? Write your own, and invite others to hear it. Klein has tapped into several online resources, such as MyJewishLearning.com, to provide fodder for discussion at the table, or for her son and his friends to discuss in an intimate setting. Gross, too, says that using online content and hosting a discussion group can help you learn about the holiday, and then share those insights with others. MAKE AN CALENDAR
ELUL
REFLECTION
If you want to get an early start, make an Elul reflection calendar, says Gross. Create a pie chart divided by the Hebrew months. Break each pie down by the number of days in that month. On each slice, record a guided meditation question, or something you want to work on. Then, every morning or before bed, read it and reflect. Here, too, Gross says, there are plenty of online trigger questions if you need guidance. PICNIC
Mt. Washington’s Moses says hosting or attending a holiday picnic brings people together, offering a venue to eat traditional foods and spend time in nature at the same time. While the children are playing, the adults can host the aforementioned discussion group, or meditate under the open sky. PRAY OUTSIDE
In general, being outside is a good way to infuse spirituality into your holiday. Transform your backyard, a park, or forest into a synagogue and pray. Most years, Moses attends Baltimore
“It’s the idea of tikkun olam, bettering the world. That one thing on that one day can take you back to the basics of being - and thinking.” Hebrew Congregation’s “Rosh Hashanah Under the Stars” program, which offers an alternative Jewish New Year get-together for members and non-members. “There are thousands of people there, right under the stars, with no ceiling above you,” says Moses. “You feel like you are one with nature, with each other and with God whatever sense of God there is.” On years she cannot make the service, she and her family might travel to Ocean City, Md., instead. “We’ll just sit there and listen to the ocean,” she says.
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HIGH HOLIDAYS l BY DAVID EISNER | jns.org
HIGH HOLIDAYS
FAST-FOOD
SOLIDARITY Helping others this High Holiday season
W
hen I was growing up, I remember yearning to fast like the adults did on Yom Kippur, feeling a sense of accomplishment and self-righteousness at 8 years old when I fasted until lunchtime, and bragging to everyone I knew, when I was 11, that I had fasted the entire day. Approximately 13 million people in the US, including nearly 1 million children, will experience hunger this year, what Dictionary. com calls “the painful sensation or state of weakness caused by lack of food,” or what the Department of Agriculture calls “very low food security.” On Sept. 23, the number of Americans experiencing that sensation will increase by 22 percent as Jews across the country forego food and water for the fast of Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. That’s not really true, of course: the experience of a person fasting for a single day by choice, with the comforting certainty of a (likely extravagant) break-fast ahead, contrasts starkly with the experience of someone who is suffering from hunger and doesn’t know when or from where their next meal will come. Still, for the half of America’s 5.3 million Jews who fast on Yom Kippur (which includes 20 percent of Jews “by upbringing” who claim to have no religious beliefs themselves), the temporary sensation provides an opportunity for us to consider how others experience real food insecurity and to
TEACHING OTHERS ABOUT NUTRITION INTEGRAL TO THEIR OBSERVANCE OF THE HIGH HOLIDAYS. 18
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
HIGH HOLIDAYS
commit to action, both over the holiday and in the New Year. There is strong support in the Yom Kippur liturgy for the fast to inspire this kind of action. In fact, in the beginning of the traditional Yom Kippur reading from the Prophets (a portion from Isaiah, a Babylonian prophet), the people wonder why God has not been attentive to their fasting. They ask God directly, “Why do we fast?” The deific response is that their fast has not met God’s criteria: “No, this is the fast that I desire: to loose the bonds of injustice, and to untie the cords of the yoke, and to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke… to share your bread with the hungry and to take the wretched poor into your home, when you see the naked to clothe him….” Looking back, the fast of my youth missed
the point — I didn’t use the discomfort to inspire me to act differently, in a way that would make my community and the world better. Today, I try to make my fast more productive; together with my family, we use the discomfort of the day to consider the contrast with those who face real deprivation, and motivate ourselves to take action to build a better, more just world. This imperative of action animates “A Different Kind of High Holiday Service,” the national campaign through which the Jewish service organization Repair the World is supporting young adult Jews in addressing food justice issues around the High Holidays through volunteering and service. In communities across the country, young adults are volunteering with urban farms, serving in soup kitchens and food
pantries, sorting food contributions, and teaching about nutrition integral to their observance of the High Holidays. There are many great opportunities to be involved in creating more just food systems in our communities, and many inspiring people working on these issues. This high holidays, Repair the World’s campaign is giving people a way to be involved as they’re inspired to act. As we think about the year that was, the year to come, and the world/ communities where we want to live, let’s begin the year with action. DAVID EISNER IS PRESIDENT AND CEO OF REPAIR THE WORLD, A NATIONAL JEWISH NONPROFIT FOCUSED ON PROMOTING SERVICE AS WELL AS FOOD AND EDUCATION JUSTICE. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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HIGH HOLIDAYS l BY ROBERT GLUCK | jns.org
HIGH HOLIDAYS WE’RE FROM THE SAME
PLANET
National Geographic introduces kids to High Holidays
C
THE NEW COVER OF NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC ’S “CELEBRATE ROSH HASHANAH AND YOM KIPPUR.” 20
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
PHOTO BY DEBORAH HEILIGMAN
an a children’s book about the Jewish High Holidays help advance world peace? A new edition of an award-winning children’s book author thinks so — and National Geographic agrees. “Celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur” — first published in 2007 and reissued this year with a new cover — is one of the volumes included in National Geographic’s series, “Holidays Around the World,” which introduces children to the ways in which religious and cultural holidays are celebrated in various countries. Other holidays spotlighted in the series include Thanksgiving, Diwali, Easter, and Ramadan, as well as the Jewish holidays Hanukkah and Passover. Deborah Heiligman, the author of “Celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur,” has written 30 books for children and teens. She sees the “Holidays Around the World” series as a step toward fostering greater interfaith understanding. “You may have a non-Jewish kid, a Christian kid, or a Muslim kid looking at the pictures in this book, and some of the people in the pictures look like they do,” Heiligman says. “And they’re going to be playing a game that they play or eating a food that they eat, or even if they’re not, they look similar, they look like kids.” That is the moment, she says, “when they go ‘aha,’ even though we have differences we’re all from the same planet.’ I think the way you can make
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change in the world is to start with children.” ”Celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur” introduces young readers to the blowing of the shofar, holiday greeting cards, prayers, and special foods. The book also examines how the Jewish High Holidays are celebrated worldwide. Through striking photographs, readers see how Jews from California to Zimbabwe, and from Mexico to Jerusalem, participate in the holiday rituals. “We sit down with our families for a delicious holiday dinner. We eat a special bread called challah,” Heiligman writes. “On Rosh Hashanah our challah is round to show that life is a circle from birth to death to birth again.” Pomegranates are another important holiday food. “Some of us eat pomegranates because it is said that a pomegranate has 613 seeds,” Heiligman notes. “There are 613 commandments, or things we must do, in the Torah, our holy book.” The shofar, a central symbol of the High Holidays, “is made from the horn of a ram,” Heiligman explains. “The shofar is difficult to blow, and the people who blow it at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services are very much appreciated and honored.” Three different notes are blown, she points out: “an unbroken sound, called ‘teki’ah;’ a wailing sound broken into three parts called ‘shva’rim;’ and a kind of tooting sound broken into nine parts, called ‘tru’ah.’” The sound of the shofar “is like an alarm clock, or a wake-up call. It says, ‘Really wake up now, think about your life, think about the past year, pray well, pay attention!’” A two-page photo spread in “Celebrate
Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur” shows thousands of Jews gathered at a lake in Uman, Ukraine, for the Tashlikh service. “On the first day of Rosh Hashanah, in the afternoon, we have a special service to cast away our sins,” Heiligman writes. “It is called Tashlikh, which means to send away. We try to go to a river, or another body of water. We turn our pockets inside out, as if emptying out all our sins. Or we throw pieces of bread into the water — the pieces of bread represent our sins.” Heiligman. who was raised in a Jewish family in Allentown, Pa., agreed to write 10 volumes in the National Geographic series because she thought the books could be a way for children to become leaders who understand that diversity is part of our culture, and that every culture deserves respect. “The High Holidays are a time for reflection, a time for new beginnings, a time to look inward and ask yourself how can I be a better person, how can I be the best person that I can be,” Heiligman says. “I think children can relate to this. Jews pray in hopes of becoming better people and I hope adults can relate to that, too. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur give us a time to
do that, to really sit and think.” Each of the volumes in the series is written with input from a consultant. Rabbi Shira Stern, director of the Center for Pastoral Care and Counseling in Marlboro, N.J., was an adviser for “Celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.” Stern’s introduction places the High Holidays into wider historical and cultural context for parents and teachers. Referring to Elul, the Hebrew month of preparation preceding Rosh Hashana, Stern notes, “’Elul’ is an acrostic for the Hebrew phrase, ‘Ani L’dodi, V’dodi Li,’ which means ‘I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.’ This is a metaphor for our relationship with God. But it’s not a romantic relationship; it’s a bond between parent and child.” Especially for young children, Stern writes, “God ‘the parent’ is a natural concept. We want to feel so close to God that God will forgive us for the wrongs we have done. To inspire ourselves, we mark each day by blowing the shofar and include special prayers that begin the repenting process.” “We have come full circle in the Jewish year,” Stern concludes. “And we are spiritually ready to begin again.” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
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HIGH HOLIDAYS l BY CINDY SHER | jns.org
HIGH HOLIDAYS THE ROSH HASHANAH WAKEUP
CALL
The shofar is the sound you will be listening for to realize your past, present and future
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lose your eyes and imagine yourself in the synagogue listening to the blasting of the shofar, something many of us will be doing just a couple weeks from now. Feel the power of the sound — the staccato notes, the longer notes, and the really really long note — reverberate throughout the sanctuary. The sounding of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah serves as a wakeup call for the Jewish people, a chance to start over with a clean slate. Maimonides describes the wakeup call in the “Mishneh Torah,” a code of Jewish religious law. “Arise you who are fast asleep, and awaken you who slumber,” he writes. “Search your deeds, repent, and be mindful of your Creator…” Now close your eyes again, and this time, look back at the year behind you. Did you live a year that mattered, and did you fill it with meaning? Did you laugh easily? Did you connect with someone new? Did you cultivate deeper connections with people you already knew? Did you chat with the barista at your coffee house? Did you smile at children? Did you look up from toggling between apps on your phone to watch a setting sun or notice a full moon? Were you brave enough to take some risks and leap — even if you were scared? Did you dance? Did you say sorry, and mean it, to someone you hurt? Did you wander slowly through the rain? Did you notice lady bugs?
THE SOUNDING OF THE SHOFAR ON ROSH HASHANAH SERVES AS A WAKEUP CALL FOR THE JEWISH PEOPLE. 24
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
HIGH HOLIDAYS
Did you honor your parents, your grandparents, and other people who helped form you into the person you are today? Did you think about how your food gets from the land to your plate? Did you treat your body as a temple—at least some of the time? Did you stand up for the things that matter to you and stick up for people who needed it? Were you sensitive to the pain and bloodshed of others that you heard about in the news—in Chicago, in Israel, and around the world? Were you present? Did you teach your children to be kind to people, to animals, and to the earth? Did you give tzedakah? Did you give thanks each day for something in your life? When you spoke about other people, were you thoughtful about what you chose to say? Did you appreciate the fact that someone always has it worse than you do, and did you recognize
that you’re luckier than most people in this world? Were you honest? Did you trust? Did you give yourself a break about the things beyond your control? Did you value the sacrifices of your ancestors that made the world a better place? Were you a mentor to anyone? Did you open your mind and listen to people whose beliefs and ideas are different from your own? Did you let a baby’s tiny hand grasp your finger? Did you give big tips? Did you visit someone sick? Did you read and learn about something new? Did you do something you didn’t really feel like doing because you knew it would make someone else happy? Did you stand and say the mourner’s Kaddish prayer for someone you loved and lost, or did you say it alongside someone else who lost a loved one? Did you learn a new skill? Did you smell rosemary, pinewood,
vanilla, or cinnamon? Did you invite a guest to come and share your Shabbat table? Did you dream big? Okay, now that you’ve looked back over the past year, close your eyes again—but this time look ahead to next year. How will you fill your life and the lives of others with spirituality, meaning, and love? Who will you surround yourself with? We, Jews, are lucky for a chance to take stock—to awaken from our slumber—and then press reset for a new year. Wishing you and your loved ones a year ahead filled with health, happiness, sweetness, fulfillment, and peace. L’shana tovah umetuka! CINDY SHER IS THE EXECUTIVE EDITOR OF CHICAGO’S JUF NEWS. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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HIGH HOLIDAYS l BY RABBI AVI WEISS | jns.org
HIGH HOLIDAYS KOL
NIDRE
The White Fire of the Iran Discourse
T
he High Holidays are just around the corner. They reach their crescendo with Yom Kippur’s Kol Nidre prayer, made famous by Al Jolson and Neil Diamond in “The Jazz Singer” movies. The literal meaning of Kol Nidre is “all vows.” More broadly, the prayer deals with the importance of words in shaping our lives, setting the tone for who we are — what we represent. Its message stands opposite the old adage we said as kids: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Not true. Words can hurt; words can harm. While a word is a word and a deed is a deed, words lead to deeds. A Jewish teaching declares that words have the intensity of fire. They are black fire on white fire, namely, black letters written on the white open space between them. More deeply, this teaches that words have power not only in their explicit meaning — the ink of the black letters — but in the less explicit, but equally important messages they imply. Those are the white spaces. As 20th-century Austrian philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “Language disguises the thought.” But the discerning listener of language can read the white fire, revealing its meaning. This is an important message as the debate surrounding the Iran nuclear deal gains intensity. By now, the pros and cons of the deal have been presented. Positions have by and large been taken. I, for one, am strongly opposed.
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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
But a matter that is equally as important as the position one takes is the nature of the language used in the conversation. Which words are said? What is their message and what thoughts do they disguise? Here, both sides have made mistakes. Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, a Republican candidate for president, went too far when suggesting that the deal would take Israel to the ovens, an explicit allusion to the Holocaust — when 6 million Jews were murdered, often gassed and then incinerated. The Holocaust is trivialized when such language is used. Today, unlike then, we have the State of Israel, which can defend itself. What’s even more disturbing is the language used by President Barack Obama. Candidates seek partisan voters. The president speaks for all of America. As Obama has said, we are not the red states, or the blue states, but the United States. The president violated this commitment when he spoke last month at American University. There, he used language that implicitly isolated American Jews by questioning their loyalty. He did so when he said that the nuclear deal’s opponents are “backed by tens of millions of dollars in advertising.” The white fire of these words is understood by many Americans as referring to Jewish dollars. And when Obama presents the decision of Congress as a choice between approving the Iran deal and war — while singling out Israel as the agreement’s key opponent — he
is interpreted by many as saying that Israel could be sending Americans to war. Of course, this is absurd. Americans have died defending Iraq and Lebanon, but never Israel. Still, the president’s language implies that turning down the deal could result in Americans defending and dying for Israel. At rallies this summer, I’ve heard too many hurl invectives at us like “traitor,” “go back to Israel where you belong,” and “you’re sending American soldiers to die for Israel.” License for the use of this type of dangerous language comes from the top. It emerges in part from the unwritten words that the president has uttered. In the end, all of us on both sides of the debate must assume responsibility and reflect on the language we have been using. Opponents of the deal are not “Jewish warmongers,” nor are its supporters “kapos.” Good people can have honest disagreements. Kol Nidre reminds us that how we express these positions also matters. The words we choose — both those written in black and hidden in white — make a difference. As the Jewish adage goes, “Wise people, be careful with your words.” AVI WEISS IS THE FOUNDING RABBI OF THE HEBREW INSTITUTE OF RIVERDALE IN NEW YORK CITY. HIS MOST RECENT BOOK, “OPEN UP THE IRON DOOR: MEMOIRS OF A SOVIET JEWRY ACTIVIST,” WAS RECENTLY PUBLISHED BY TOBY PRESS.
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HIGH HOLIDAYS l BY MAAYAN JAFFE-HOFFMAN | jns.org
HIGH HOLIDAYS CAN JEWS
UNITE?
Coming together during the High Holidays
MOSES ADDRESSING THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL. 28
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
PHOTO CREDIT WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
I
n April 2015 – in the aftermath of the death of 25-year-old African-American man Freddie Gray inside a police van after being arrested by the Baltimore Police Department, followed by days of riots in Baltimore, Md. – AfricanAmerican street gangs, the Bloods and Crips, stood side-by-side against police brutality. The Baltimore Sun, and several national papers and social media outlets, carried photographs of the members of the typically warring gangs posing together, with captions about the gangs being determined to “unite for a common good.” Tzippi Shaked, author of “Three Ladies, Three Lattes: Percolating Discussions in the Holy Land,” believes that the case of the Bloods and Crips unifying together is a valuable lesson for the Jewish community, in which there are frequent divisions along religious lines. This was echoed by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in his annual Rosh Hashanah greeting last year, in which he urged Jewish unity by working “together … [to] build our Jewish state – because we’re united, proud of our past and committed to our future.” Can Jewish people of different religious denominations truly unite and work together for a common good? The concept of Jewish unity is one that comes up around the High Holidays due to the Torah portions read before the holidays: Nitzavim and Vayelech. In Nitzavim we read, “Today you are all standing before God your Lord - your leaders, your tribal chiefs…even your woodcutters and water drawers,” (Deuteronomy 29:9). Eighteenth-
HIGH HOLIDAYS
century Rabbi Schneur Zalman explained this in his famous work “Likkutei Torah” as all Jews standing equally and united before God despite their differences. Vayelech also concludes when Moses addresses “the entire assembly of Israel” (Deuteronomy 29:1) in a unified manner. Such a colorful image is harder to picture today, when headlines and op-eds tend to stress divisiveness, and the parts over the whole. “I come from a family with a Haredi brother. I am Modern Orthodox. I have a sister who is secular. Growing up, my father was secular and my mom religious. If we can pull it off under one roof, I believe so can society in general,” says Shaked. Shaked, together with one Haredi (Hebrew for Orthodox) and one secular woman, spent two and a half years discussing the topics that divide and unite Jewish women, and then embarked on a mission to teach others that while Jews might not always agree ideologically, politically or religiously, they can be united. This is the topic of her book. Rabbi Joel Oseran, vice president emeritus for international development at the World Union for Progressive Judaism (WUPJ), says that in his experience it is “rare to see the common good having the highest value,” especially in Israel where “the playing field among denominations is not level at all.” “When I am right and you are wrong, how can there be diversity?” Oseran asks. “You have to allow for more than one way to be right in order to respect diversity.” Shaked disagrees, saying that unity and friendship have little to do with accepting others’ opinions or hoping to change them. “It’s naive to think that anyone will change his or her mind,” she says, and it has more to do with a belief that people can become friends in spite of differences in levels of religious observance. “It is very easy to rip apart the other. It is very difficult to look for the positive,” Shaked says. “Irrespective on which religious
background you come from, you have to ask yourself: Do I look to build bridges or do I look to inflame?” This has been Marne Rochester’s modus operandi. An active Conservative Jew, Rochester moved to Israel 26 years ago. In the Jewish state, she maintains her Conservative identity, while sending her daughter to a religious school and praying at a variety of different synagogues. She is most active in a Jerusalem Masorti (the Hebrew term for Conservative) congregation, but she also attends a Sephardic, egalitarian minyan. “I think Conservative and Orthodox, and Conservative and Reform have a lot in common,” says Rochester. “Both the Orthodox and Conservative movements are halachic [Jewish law] movements. We just see the interpretation more liberally than the Orthodox.” When it comes to daily life, she says it’s easy to get along – especially in Israel where Conservative congregants tend to follow more of the movement’s code of conduct, as opposed to the U.S., where “a lot of people who belong to Conservative shuls don’t necessarily go by what the movement says.” Rochester has Orthodox friends willing to eat in her home and share Shabbat together with her. But Rochester, who takes part in monthly Women of the Wall ceremonies at the Kotel, says the biggest differentiator between the Orthodox and the Conservative, however, is the role of women in public Judaism and the synagogue. While in Orthodox Judaism women take a back step to men in religious life, “since my bat mitzvah, I read from the Torah, lead services, put on a tallit and tefillin,” she notes. “But I feel like in my neighborhood we all get along. We all respect each other and don’t check each other’s tzitzit,” she says. Rochester notes, also, that Women of the Wall was founded as a minyan of women from different movements coming together on common ground for Rosh Chodesh. While it has become a major media focus,
and a point of divisiveness between Jews in the diaspora in Israel, at its core, “You have Orthodox, Reform and Conservative women all together – that is such a powerful, beautiful thing.” Oseran says he wishes he would see more leaders taking a stance in the direction of unity. “I am not optimistic from the top down,” he says, but admits positive steps are percolating on a grassroots level. “There are many Orthodox Jews who understand there is more than one way to be Jewish and are prepared to bridge some of the differences in order to be stronger together,” adds Oseran, noting that Israelis could learn a lot from the Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA) movement, which is built on a sense of a collective Jewish community in which any Jewish people can fit and find their place. “How do you create a building bridges mindset?” Shaked asks. “Take the time to make yourself available to talk to others. Be open to meeting people. … we all have to take the plunge.” She also recommends celebrating the successes of others and volunteering in communities different than your own. Harkening back to the unity established by the Bloods and Crips in the wake of the Baltimore riots in 2015, Shaked says she read a study published more than 20 years ago by the Simon Wiesenthal Center that found gang members cannot unify by simply learning about one another through movies, being told positive messages about one another, or even through dialogue. Rather, they need to work together on a common project. By working for a common goal the Bloods and Crips found unity. “I ask this Rosh Hashanah to join with all Israelis, with friends of Israel, with the Jewish people everywhere in wishing for a better future,” said Netanyahu is his previous Rosh Hashanah address. “I believe these friendships can be struck. I have seen it and I live it,” Shaked said. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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BADASS KOSHER l BY MICHAEL GARDINER
MODERNIST MATZO BALLS
M
odernist cuisine — sometimes called “modern gastronomy” or “molecular gastronomy” — is, to say the least, controversial. While its most ardent enthusiasts call it magic in the kitchen and observe chefs creating dishes in this discipline must create at another level, technical and formal, others don’t. Its detractors call it form over substance, smoke and mirrors not cooking. There is about it more than a whiff of “cheating.” But gas ovens are “cheating,” aren’t they? Refrigeration? Cheating. Not killing that cow yourself? Yeah: definitely cheating. Where modernist cuisine is at its best, though, is where you don’t even see it. Many chefs, even some whose reputations were built on modern gastronomy (Richard Blais, 30
I’m looking at you) have begun to trade the smoke and the mirrors in for the textural and technical advantages a modernist chef’s toolbox offers. Instead of focusing on the whiz-bang you just marvel at how good the dish is. This “molecular gastronomy” is all about quietly solving problems. One problem we have every year is matzo balls. Another is what to do with all the leftover matzo following the end of Passover. As a general matter, matzo balls come in two varieties: floaters and sinkers. I’ve never been a fan of sinkers. Both are valid choices, at least in theory, but if I wanted a heavy ball in my soup I’d go with a Mexican albondigas (meatballs). I knew the theory of floaters: incorporating beaten egg whites into the matzo balls makes
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
TOMATO MATZO BALL SOUP WITH PICKLED GARLIC CHIVE
BADASS KOSHER
them light, fluffy and airy. The issues — which, of course, I’ve experienced the hard way — were not beating the egg whites enough or incorporating the solids into the egg whites too heavily. So I knew I would have to beat the egg whites nearly to the point of stiff peaks. I would also have to be very, very gentle in folding in the matzo meal. But I also had a trick up my sleeve: a little bit of modernist cuisine. The ingredient in egg whites that lets them do their magic is called “lecithin.” It is an excellent emulsifier. Of course one of the basic tools of the modern gastronomy arsenal is soy lecithin. So, to amp up the effect of the egg whites I decided to kick up my matzo balls with a teaspoon of soy lecithin. It is, ultimately, the less well-publicized side of modernist cuisine that matters to me. Instead of being about bells and whistles, showmanship and surprise it is about finding a new way to solve an old problem. Who care’s if someone calls it “cheating.” TOMATO MATZO BALL SOUP WITH PICKLED GARLIC CHIVE Serves 4-6 INGREDIENTS: For the Pickled Garlic Chives 8 garlic chives (found at most Asian markets, particularly Thuong Phat in Linda Vista or 99 Ranch in the Convoy District.) 1 tablespoon kosher salt 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1 cup apple cider vinegar For the Soup 4 Roma tomatoes, whole 3 Mexican onions, skinned and quartered 3 cloves garlic 3 tablespoons grapeseed oil 2 leeks, cleaned and chopped in quarter moons
2 jalapeño chile peppers, seeded and sliced 4 key limes, juiced 8 cups chicken stock For the Matzo balls 3 eggs 1 tablespoon canola or grapeseed oil ½ cup matzo meal 1 tablespoon kosher salt 1 teaspoon soy lecithin (Kosher soy lecithin is readily available from a number of sources including online at http://www. modernistpantry.com/soy-lecithin-powder. html) 6 cups chicken broth, stock or salted water For the Garnish 1 bunch, fresh cilantro, separated into leaves with about 1/8 inch of stem (optional) 1. MAKE THE PICKLED GARLIC CHIVES. Bring a saucepan of water to boil on the stove over high heat. Trim the garlic chives to about 3 inches, or wherever the chive stems get excessively fibrous. Submerge the garlic chives in boiling water for about three minutes, removing them before they fully wilt. Meanwhile combine the remaining ingredients in a big bowl and whisk to fully dissolve the solids. Pour the dissolved liquid over the garlic chives, adding water as necessary to cover. Refrigerate for half an hour. 2. ROAST THE VEGETABLES FOR THE SOUP. Preheat the oven to 350° Fahrenheit. Place the tomatoes, onions and garlic on an oiled hotel sheet or roasting pan and place in the oven. Roast the vegetables until the tomatoes are blistered and the onions are beginning to brown, about half an hour.
3. MAKE THE MATZO BALLS. Separate the whites from the yolks of the eggs, putting the whites in the bowl of a Kitchen Aid or other similar mixer. Reserve the yolks. Beat the egg whites on high until the form soft peaks. Meanwhile beat the egg yolks and oil using a wire whisk and then combine with the whites. Combine the matzo meal, salt and soy lecithin in a bowl and fold into the egg mixture as gently as possible using a plastic spatula. This is a job better done by two, one folding gently and the other pouring the solids in gradually. Refrigerate for half an hour. 4. MAKE THE BROTH. In a large soup pot, sweat the leeks in the remaining oil over low heat for three minutes, until just translucent. Add in the roasted vegetables and the broth and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce to a simmer and cook for ten minutes. Add in the lime juice and chile pepper and simmer for fifteen minutes. 5. COOK THE MATZO BALLS. Bring the broth (or stock or salted water) to a boil in a large pot. Meanwhile, cover a hotel pan with wax paper. Remove the matzo ball material from the refrigerator. Working with moist hands (have a bowl of water handy to refresh), take a heaping tablespoon of the matzo ball material and form into a ball. Gently place the balls in the pot of boiling broth. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered for fifteen minutes. 6. PLATE THE DISH. Ladle the Chicken-Tomato Broth into soup bowls. Float three Matzo balls in each bowl and garnish with cilantro leaves if desired.
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FEATURE STORY l BY MAAYAN JAFFE-HOFFMAN | jns.org
A FACE
TO THE STORIES S
queals of laughter and high-spirited traditional Ethiopian dancing, coupled with deep and mournful cries of loss and pain. The piercing sound of bullets whizzing above a soldier’s head. “Ready, aim, fire.” The quiet smile of a night under the stars with your fellow comrades. “Mekonen: The Journey of an African Jew,” the latest production from the film-focused educational non-profit Jerusalem U, is the story of an intrepid and introspective young Ethiopian-Israeli soldier. The film, which debuted on Israeli Independence Day last month, is a spinoff of Jerusalem U’s previous documentary, “Beneath the Helmet: From High School to the Home Front” (2014), which followed five Israel Defense Forces (IDF) recruits, including Mekonen Abebe, through their military training. “Mekonen” follows up by honing in exclusively on
“
“MEKONEN: THE JOURNEY OF AN AFRICAN JEW,” THE LATEST PRODUCTION FROM THE FILM-FOCUSED EDUCATIONAL NONPROFIT JERUSALEM U, IS THE STORY OF AN INTREPID AND INTROSPECTIVE YOUNG ETHIOPIANISRAELI SOLDIER.
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L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • SEPTEMBER 2016
‘MEKONEN’ PUTS A FACE ON THE STORIES OF THE IDF AND ETHIOPIAN JEWRY. Abebe, a young Ethiopian shepherd who overcame financial and familial hardships to realize his dream of becoming an officer in the IDF. “After nearly every screening of ‘Beneath the Helmet,’ the audiences had burning questions about Abebe. They connected with him and wanted to know more about where he came from and how the next chapter of his story would unfold,” said Rebecca Shore, Jerusalem U’s creative director and the director of “Mekonen.”
FEATURE STORY
The film, according to Jerusalem U CEO Raphael Shore, is part of the organization’s series of mission-driven productions that are meant to engage, educate, and empower Jewish young adults — particularly on college campuses, where anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism are on the rise. “We create these products to try to inspire and push back,” Shore said at the premiere event for “Mekonen” in Israel, which welcomed more than 200 youths who were culminating a year studying in Israel before attending college in the United States. “We all tend to think of ourselves as small. But we are all leaders. I hope you step up.” “There is definitely growing anti-Semitism on campus — swastikas being painted on houses, assaults. We see it growing,” said Moshe Lencer, an international ambassador for the Jewish fraternity Alpha Epsilon Pi (AEPi). “But on the other side, the pro-Israel camp is growing, too.…The students use these movies to help put a face to the story.” But as much as “Mekonen” is a pro-Israel film, it is also the universal story of the Ethiopian aliyah (immigration to Israel) — and of aliyah in general. “I decided to participate in ‘Mekonen’ to be there for others who need hope,” Mekonen Abebe, charming and modest, said in an interview. “It’s to give the weaker segment of society, those who are struggling, an example that you can win from nothing.” Abebe came to Israel from Gondar, Ethiopia, when he was 12. His father, who had always dreamed of aliyah, died the day before the family was supposed to make their journey. The family’s aliyah was delayed by six months, but ultimately, Mekonen Abebe’s
mother Talal Amara Abebe took them to Israel on her own. Mekonen attended a boarding school for at-risk pre-teens and adolescents in Israel. He struggled with violence, and was surrounded by friends engaged in drugs and crime. “I came here from another country,” Mekonen said. “I didn’t know the language. I had no friends. It is such a different culture — the littlest things are big differences, even the food. Things I had never seen before, people I had never seen before…all of the technology….It is easiest to go to a negative place.” School counselors said that sometimes they were unsure if they could pull Abebe out of his troubles. But along with Mekonen himself, they persevered. “Mekonen is a fighter,” school administrator Karamit Lansker says in the film. When Mekonen Abebe graduated, he entered his mandatory army service as part of the paratroopers’ brigade. He had difficult circumstances at home. His mother, the only breadwinner, was attempting to support 16 people. Abebe wanted to get out of the army to work and help his mother. There were a few times he did not think he would make it, even until the end of basic training. But Abebe’s commander, Eden Adler, as well as his friends in the IDF and his loved ones, supported him through his journey from just surviving to thriving. After completing his first three years of service, Abebe was selected to become an IDF officer. Today, he oversees more than 40 recruits. “He chose it. People helped, but he chose to make it — that is the way I see it,” said Rebecca Shore.
Before Abebe could start his new role as an officer, he said he had a deep desire to explore his past. “I took my week [between completing officer training and starting in the new role] to go to Ethiopia, to visit the place where I was born and draw strength,” he said”When I was 5, I was a shepherd. I never imagined then that I would be a paratrooper, let alone a commander.” “Mekonen” includes personal footage of Abebe’s travels to his first home (a hut) in Ethiopia. “There was no electricity. Nature was the clock,” he said. This highlights the happiness of his simple shepherd youth, as he chases sheep and dances traditional Ethiopian dances with family and friends. The film shares the heartbreaking moment in which Abebe visits his father’s grave for the first time since moving to Israel, his howls over the loss of the man who inspired his family’s exodus to Israel, and his sudden shift to a place of strength — when he places his IDF pin on his father’s tombstone. “This is where my father dreamed, but was unable to attain,” said Abebe. “I still have feelings for this place (Ethiopia), but my true place is Israel. I think he would be proud.” “He has a classic story of overcoming adversity,” said Rebecca Shore. “I want Jews to understand the story of Ethiopian Jewry… and to share a good and empowering story about Israel.” “Others can come to Israel and make it, too,” Abebe said. “It doesn’t matter where you are from. With all of the challenges, all of the strife, ultimately we get up.”
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FEATURE STORY l BY MAAYAN JAFFE-HOFFMAN | jns.org
THE JUNE 8 EVENT HOSTED IN NEW YORK CITY BY THE LEGION, NEW YORK’S FIRST SELF-DEFENSE AND COUNTER-TERRORISM TRAINING PROGRAM FOR MEMBERS OF THE JEWISH COMMUNITY. PHOTO COURTESY THE LEGION.
FOREVER THE
OUTSIDER New York group trains Jews in self-defense
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“
Mike Tyson once said, ‘Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face,’” Ron Miller, a prospective member of the Legion, New York’s first self-defense and counter-terrorism training program for members of the Jewish community, says. Though spoken with humor, Miller’s allusion to the famed boxer’s words of wisdom reflects the angst that many Jews feel today. The Legion is currently training a group of cadets ages 22-57. Following a careful screening process, 48 individuals were selected out of 129 applicants to join the inaugural class that began last October. The group meets twice a week for intensive physical conditioning led by world-class instructors and former Marines. The Legion also assembles monthly for a session of classroom learning, discussing Jewish culture and history. Thirty-eight cadets have survived the rigorous training to date, and they are now on track to complete the program this summer. “I think we all have to be ready,” Miller says, explaining his reason for attending the cadet recruitment and social event held at the Renaissance Hotel in Manhattan on June 8. The professional banker and father of two first learned of the Legion when he met the program’s charismatic founder, Jon Loew, at his local gym. Having missed the first deadline to sign up, Miller was eager to engage. Standing on a chair, Loew addresses the lively gathering. His bellowing voice requires no microphone. He directs the crowd’s attention to a slideshow playing on overhead monitors. “It all begins in Judea,” Loew says, pointing to a map of the Middle East. “If you call yourself a Jew, that’s where you’re from.”
FEATURE STORY
Next, Loew describes the exile of the Jews in the wake of the Roman conquest of Judea in 135 CE. “Since then, Jews have found acceptance in strange lands, but forever remain the outsider,” he says. The subsequent slide presents a sinusoidal graph that establishes a timeline by correlating positive and devastating events in Jewish history with the apex and nadir of the continuous waves. “This is a list of the countries we’ve been kicked out of,” Loew says in a preface to the follow-up slide. “In some places, we’ve been kicked out and invited back three or four times. I don’t know about you, but when I get kicked out of a bar, I don’t go back.” The undulating graph offers the Legion’s argument for instilling preparedness among Jewish communities. Loew likens the cyclical history represented by the image to that of a stock chart, plotting a boom and bust cycle over the course of millennia. “Buy low, sell high?” he asks the audience for proverbial investing advice. A montage of video clips demonstrating the increased violence directed toward Jews worldwide ensues. When the video finishes playing, Loew asks, “Who thinks it’s a good time to buy stock [in Judaism]?” After the dramatic presentation, Loew shifts gears to the facts and figures. “Jews are three times more likely to be the victim of a violent crime, and 1 billion people worldwide are anti-Semitic,” Loew says. “Stats don’t lie,” he adds. The Legion’s motto, “From strength comes freedom,” underscores the group’s primary mission to restore deterrents. Loew suggests
that Jewish community leaders have failed to prepare adequately for threats. “Their answer is to hire bodyguards for themselves,” he says. “There’s not going to be a Holocaust in the United States,” Loew predicts, though he is wary of increased chaos and an overwhelmed police force. “Cell phones gave everyone the excuse not to help,” he says, citing shocking stabbings during rush hour on the New York City subway system. The bottom line, he says, is that Jews should learn how to protect themselves. Additional selling points for the program include: Why not get in shape? Why not seize the opportunity to learn from some of the best professional self-defense instructors in the business? And why not connect with a lively community in the process? The Legion’s training course costs $1,000, and the group offers up to $400 in tuition reimbursement to anyone who completes the training. Indeed, the energetic and dynamic crowd gathered at the Renaissance Hotel reflects the Legion’s promise. “It’s not your average Jewish group,” Caroline Ledgin, an insurance broker, documentary filmmaker, and graduate of the Legion’s cadet program, says. Part Israeli, Ledgin says she has an Israeli mindset about security. “American Jews need to get on it!” she warns. “I was already into fitness, but I appreciated the community aspect and the fact that other people are relating to the awareness that the world is becoming a more dangerous place.” Ledgin says the course has helped her learn more about herself. “I knew I was strong, I knew I could fight,” she says, “but the first effect of the training was actually to make me realize how vulnerable I was.” Statistics compiled by an independent survey group demonstrate that many of Ledgin’s comrades share her impressions: 88 percent of the Legion’s cadets are enjoying the training more than they expected; 66% say training is tough and 33% say it’s the hardest they’ve ever experienced; 84 percent report a change in their physical appearance and ability; 90 percent are confident they can defend themselves; 90 percent are confident they can help in an emergency situation; 96 percent report that they are more aware of their surroundings; and 77 percent say they will continue training after their nine-month basic training. “Your skills are enhanced as you become more aware,” Ledgin says. Despite its focus on self-defense training for Jews, the Legion is open to receiving members of all faiths into its ranks. “Jews are training alongside Muslims and Christians,” Loew says, noting religious communities’ mutual concern for public safety and a general interest in promoting peace. Nearly 200 people attended the Legion’s June 8 event. “Approximately 67 [participants] requested applications and about 40 people in the room were already either students or volunteers for the organization. That means about 50 percent of the people in the room who could have applied for our training did so,” Loew says. Josh Krongelby, a software programmer who survived the intense training, says he left feeling “a lot more confident walking on the street.” WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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FEATURE STORY l BY MIMI POLLACK
DANCER SHARES LOVE OF FL AMENCO
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FEATURE STORY
D
ancing flamenco and giving back to others have been part of Sonia [Sonny] Burton’s life since she was a child. These two passions come together through Burton’s school, Flamenco with Roots Performing Arts. She also works with children at her home studio and at various after school programs, teaching the art of flamenco. Most of her classes are given with no enrollment fee; only donation. Burton was born in Jerez de la Frontera in Andalusia, Spain. Her Jewish grandparents arrived in Spain as immigrants from Russia, Turkey, and Iran. Part of the family was originally from Spain, but had to flee during the inquisition, and returned centuries later. At home, the family spoke Ladino, an ancient Spanish language; and Castilian. Outside of the home, the family’s Jewishness was kept quiet. Feeling like she didn’t belong has been a big part of Burton’s life. Her mother was an artistic single mother in a very conservative society and somewhat of an outsider. As Jews, the family was in the minority in the southern Spanish town they lived in; and thus, dancing flamenco was a way to integrate into the society. Burton’s mother married an American Military man, and when Burton was ten years old, the family moved first to Rhode Island and later to San Diego. Feeling lonely, dancing brought her solace in this new land where she learned to speak perfect English while maintaining her thick Castilian accent in Spanish. While still in high school, her mother converted her garage to a dance studio and Burton began to teach classes. In 1983, Flamenco with Roots Performing Arts was born. She has been giving private classes, working with after school programs, and various boys’ and girls’ clubs ever since. She has worked at Otay Mesa and Montgomery Elementary schools, and currently, she is working with Roosevelt Middle and McKinley Elementary schools. She partners to bring the arts alive at several different locations, including studios in Mission Hills, and Eastlake. She teaches at World Gem, and La Vie Dance and Culture studio; where she works with both children and adults. In addition, she volunteers at the St. Paul’s Senior Center in Chula Vista where she interacts with seniors in wheelchairs. Burton has two children, Erik and Soraya. She and her partner of 24 years, Daniel Lichterman, an acupuncturist and healer, later adopted Erik’s two children, and raised them as their own. She
is also a proud grandmother to Soraya’s five children who dance flamenco under her tutelage. Teaching dance has always been Burton’s path to take. She gives private classes at her home, and she is happiest when surrounded by children. Classes are given by donation and students pay what they can. No one is turned away. As Burton says, “I don’t want anyone to miss out because they can’t pay, and I want all my students to feel equal. If I charged some students and not others, I’d have to give special attention to the paying students. This way, I can give special attention to them all.” Her students perform every year at the Latin Film Festival, and they participate in a fundraiser that is near and dear to Burton’s heart, Doctors without Borders. Many years ago, Burton had a student named Leticia, whose parents were deported. Worried about her fate, Burton and her mother went to check on the girl who was left living with her neighbors. Later on, that same girl returned to Mexico and became a doctor. Soon after, she got involved with Doctors without Borders. Doctors without Borders is a worldwide organization that goes where the need is the greatest, delivering emergency medical aid to people affected by conflict, epidemics, disasters or exclusion from health care. The first benefit was selling cookies in 2007. This evolved little by little into something bigger and the first fundraiser was given in 2010. Burton does all the work herself, and it has been a daunting task. Some years they barely break even, but she is confident that as the word gets out, more people will want to take part in contributing to this worthy cause. This year, a fundraiser will be held at the Historical Abbey at 2825 5th Ave in Hillcrest in December. There will be a Mediterranean dinner, along with a flamenco show and a performance by renowned guitarist, David de Alva at the event. Burton plans on performing a buleria, which is an uplifting flamenco. Tickets are $45. Burton will be in her element there, sharing her love of flamenco, displaying her students’ talents, and helping out Doctors without Borders, so they may continue doing good work. TO LEARN MORE, VISIT WWW.FLAMENCOWITHROOTS.COM, OR EMAIL SONNYSPAIN@YMAIL.COM.
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KINDLING SPIRITS
FEATURE STORY l BY SHARON RAPOPORT
A NEW, UP-AND-COMING ORGANIZATION CALLED AISH HATORAH IS MAKING A NAME FOR ITSELF IN THE SAN DIEGO JEWISH COMMUNITY.
I
n July, Aish San Diego made an exciting announcement. Rabbi Nisso Palti had joined the congregation, to lead its members in numerous educational and religious events, starting with this year’s High Holiday Services. Even if Aish San Diego is still a budding community (this is only the second year they will hold High Holiday services), it is part of the larger Aish HaTorah organization, respected as a world leader in creative Jewish educational programs and leadership training. 40
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It is also highly recognized for reaching Jews of all backgrounds and awakening a profound pride in their heritage Rabbi Nisso Palti is one of the most prominent and beloved teachers of Torah in Latin America. He attended school at Ner Israel in Baltimore and married (in his own words) a “a born and bred New Yorker,” Mrs. Yaffa Palti. Yaffa is a teacher and a sought-after public lecturer known for her charisma, depth and humor. She is also
FEATURE STORY
a singer/songwriter who often blends lectures and melodies to create unique experiences. L´Chaim had the opportunity to talk with Rabbi Palti about this new chapter in San Diego´s spiritual life, and this is what he said. _______________________ L’CHAIM MAGAZINE: IN 2015, OVER 400 PEOPLE PARTICIPATED IN THE ROSH HASHANAH SERVICES. IT WAS INSPIRING TO SEE SUCH NUMBERS, GIVEN THAT IT WAS THE FIRST YEAR OF AISH SAN DIEGO. TO WHAT DO YOU ATTRIBUTE THIS SUCCESS? RABBI PALTI: I believe people are looking
for something different. They are looking for a more meaningful experience, one that truly allows them to connect to their deeper self, to each other and the Almighty. They are looking for inspiration that can make a difference in their lives, and that’s what the High Holidays at Aish felt like. L’CHAIM: WHAT IS THE AISH APPROACH TO JUDAISM, AND WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS RESONATING SO LOUDLY WITH JEWS ALL OVER THE WORLD? RABBI PALTI: I think Aish has a
phenomenal capacity to speak about Jewish values in a different language. Aish’s language is a language of reason, of humanity. It’s a message that is at the same time authentic and true to our millenary traditions but also modern, relevant and livable. It’s an idea that appreciates the complexity of the human reality and therefore is nonjudgmental. L’CHAIM: I WAS PART OF THE HIGHHOLIDAYS SERVICES LAST YEAR, AND WAS INSPIRED BY THE SHIURIM (CLASSES). WHAT IS THE IDEA BEHIND PROVIDING THE CONGREGATION WITH THE OPTION OF TAKING A SHIUR DURING SERVICES? RABBI PALTI: Let’s be honest. For many of
us, sitting for hours, listening to a language we don’t really understand or connect with, is difficult. On the other hand, we don’t want to change the tremendous power and depth of the original Hebrew prayers. So, we
can get the best of both worlds by keeping the service in the original language while simultaneously offering shiurim that can teach the life transforming ideas hidden within the prayers. This creates more of a connection with Judaism and each other. L’CHAIM: YOU HAVE A GREAT REPUTATION AS A SCHOLAR AND A SPEAKER. WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS AS A SPIRITUAL LEADER HERE IN SAN DIEGO? RABBI PALTI: We are taught by our Torah
teachers that we have a responsibility to share with others the talents, gifts and treasures that God has bestowed upon us. Our intention in coming to San Diego to join the amazing project called Aish San Diego is to share, to the best of our ability, the knowledge and passion for Judaism we were gifted, allowing each one of us to reach our true potential. L’CHAIM: DO YOU EXPECT TO FACE ANY PARTICULAR CHALLENGES HERE IN SAN DIEGO? RABBI PALTI: Oh, certainly! There is
nothing more challenging and rewarding than working with people! You can never know for sure how people will react to the wisdom and inspiration you try to offer them, but we will certainly give it our best effort, trusting the power of our Torah and the inner beauty of all Jews. L’CHAIM: YOU RELOCATED YOUR FAMILY FROM MEXICO TO SAN DIEGO. ARE THEY EXCITED? NERVOUS? HAPPY? RABBI PALTI: All of the above! There is
certainly some nervousness about all the changes our family will have to go throughnew job, new schools, new friends, new everything. But we are very excited about the new opportunities for growth and achievement that Aish San Diego is offering, and we are happy to live in such a wonderful city surrounded by such wonderful people. L’CHAIM: TALKING ABOUT NEW BEGINNINGS, WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER IS OUR GREATEST
CHALLENGE AS HUMAN BEINGS ON ROSH-HASHANAH AND YOU KIPPUR? RABBI PALTI: Change. Rosh Hashanah
and Yom Kippur are there to encourage us to break out of our self-imposed limitations and bad habits and discover our better selves. But the power of inertia that prevents us from changing is strong, and we often tend to fall back into our lower selves. Let’s hope this year we can inspire one another and join to help each other reach the next rung in the ladder. _______________________
According to the Aish San Diego Board, “Aish is here because we believe that San Diego needs an exciting, innovative organization focused on connecting all Jews to Judaism and each other so that they experience the most pleasure from life. We will contribute to Jewish education, tradition and pride for anyone in our County.” Following Aish HaTorah’s mission of providing opportunities for Jews of all backgrounds to discover their heritage, it is Aish San Diego’s goal to offer different programs that help achieve these lofty goals. Aish San Diego will provide innovative programming that demonstrates the beauty, relevance and wisdom of our Jewish Heritage to all. “The opportunities include seminars for different ages, singles events, executive learning groups and community building events. Aish will also hold Kabalat Shabbat and Jewish holiday programs where everyone is welcome. “For the near-term schedule we have reached an agreement with the San Diego Jewish Academy to use some of their facilities for High Holiday services. In fact, we expect well over four hundred people to attend.” TO LEARN MORE ABOUT AISH HATORAH IN SAN DIEGO, VISIT WWW. AISHSANDIEGO.COM. TO ATTEND HIGH HOLIDAY SERVICES, SEND AN EMAIL TO RSVP@AISHSANDIEGO.COM. WWW.LCHAIMMAGAZINE.COM
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AT A HIGH SCHOOL LIKE NO OTHER,
ISRAEL IS THE CLASSROOM
Their bus pulls up next to the park that hugs the Tel Aviv shoreline and the high-schoolers stream off and run straight for the playground. But rather than climb the structures and play on the swings, they scramble through their backpacks for their notebooks. The energy and excitement at being outside seems normal for a group of teens, but these students are part of an experience that is anything but typical. They have had the worldly experience of traveling to an archaeological dig at Tel Gezer, where they explored ancient Canaanite society; to Masada, where they learned of the Israelites’ triumphs and downfalls; to the Galilee, where they encountered crusader sites alongside Israel’s natural beauty; and to too many more places to name. These students have elected to spend their summer at Jewish National Fund’s Alexander Muss High School in Israel (AMHSI-JNF) and they’re studying history intensively while earning high school and even college credit. While most students might wait until college before spending a semester abroad, these teens are spending a high school semester in Israel, where their academic education is enriched by experiential learning. They live what they study, going to different places in Israel to experience firsthand what many of their peers learn about only from books. On this trip, the students are exploring Tel Aviv’s first neighborhood as part of their lessons about the earliest towns and cities established by Israel’s pioneers more than 100 years ago. “We’re learning about the history of Tel Aviv as a ‘Hebrew’ city, not a religious one, and then, as a group, we will discuss what this means in terms of Jewish identity,” says instructor and AMHSI-JNF alum Danny Stein. Founded in 1972, AMHSI-JNF boasts over 25,000 alumni from around the world, including Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg and award-winning Hasidic rapper Matthew “Matisyahu” Miller. As a non-denominational semester abroad and college prep program, AMHSI-JNF successfully caters to the full spectrum of students seeking a unique Israel and global experience that goes deeper than most short-term trips can offer. The main campus is located in Hod HaSharon, just outside of Tel Aviv, and this was the students’ first educational trip to Israel’s largest city and its modern hub. The program covers the 4,000 years of the history of Israel in chronological order, no simple task, as the teens explore their rich history and grapple with the complexities of Israel’s past and present, discovering their own futures as Jews and global citizens. Sitting by the beach, Stein regales the group with the story of Tel Aviv’s founding in 1909. He speaks about the necessity of a new city due to overcrowding in next-door Jaffa, which he points out just down 42
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the coastline, an ancient port city that’s become a vibrant center of art and culture in modern Israel. To transport his students back in time, Stein pulls out a few pictures of sand dunes and camels, photos from the beginning stages of building Tel Aviv, and explains that the photos were taken more or less where the students are sitting now. FROM THE ANCIENT TO THE MODERN The students listen intently, quietly taking notes on the names of the city’s founders. Sitting in the park, Stein reminds the students what they had learned about the earliest Jewish settlements and how they had been small religious communities built near holy cities in Israel. For these kids, mostly from secular backgrounds and mostly from North America, Tel Aviv looks like a modern city, even familiar in some ways, which is quite a departure from the ancient sites like Masada and Jerusalem they’ve been visiting. As Stein talks about the radical idea of a few Jewish pioneers to build a city in the sand, the kids are clearly captivated as they look from Jaffa to their left to the tall buildings of Tel Aviv on their right. It seems crazy to think of people leaving the safety of the walled city of Jaffa to build something new, but these teens who have left their families and homes behind for six weeks to go halfway around the world are surely having a transformative adventure of their own.
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BY STEPHANIE LEWIS l HUMOR
mazel
& mishagoss A New Year Means New Jewish Texting! First some traditional texting acronyms already in existence, but with new meanings: OMG isn’t “Oh my G-d.” It’s now, “Oy, my gallstones!” because every Jew gets pain in that vicinity. If it’s not the gallbladder, it’s something equally as serious and requires x-rays. LOL isn’t “laughing out loud.” It’s now, “Living on Latkes!” Only texted during Chanukah. IDK isn’t “I don’t know.” It’s now, “I’m done kvetching.” You should text this when you sense you’re a nudnik and they might turn off their cellphone. You can also use this with friends when they’re sick of your bragging – IDK = “I’m done kvelling!” TTYL isn’t “Talk to you later!” It’s now, “Take Time Young Lady!” You should text this when your daughter announces her engagement, but he’s not a doctor, a dentist, or even an attorney. BTW isn’t “By the way.” It’s now, “Brisket tastes weird!” Secretly texted from the dinner table of your daughter-in-law’s home. IMHO isn’t “In my humble opinion.” It’s now, “I made Hamantashen….obviously.” Texted when daughter-in-law asks what she should serve for dessert on Purim? BRB isn’t, “Be right back!” It’s now, “Bubbe requesting bagels!” Texted before Sunday brunch.
ROTFL isn’t, “Rolling on the floor laughing!” It’s now, “Read over the food labels!” Texted when anyone disagrees with you about Kosher symbols on packaging.
When your daughter has an important interview and you don’t want her wearing her typical trash wardrobe, simply text NOSH = “Nobody overlooks shmatas, honey.”
For variety, here are some new acronyms I’ve made up for other common situations:
When (miraculously) your kids do finally text you (of their own accord) and ask, “So what’s Dad up to?” Simply text FEH = “Father’s eating herring!” Nine times out of ten, this will be accurate.
Lo and behold, when nobody has checked to see if you received your gallbladder results yet, simply text “LOX” = “Lamenting over X-rays.” If that doesn’t entice them to phone and you’re sick, single, and it’s almost Shabbat, simply text CHALLAH = “Call! Health and Love Life Languishing. And hungry!” When you finally tire of being the sorrowful victim, you’re guaranteed to get your offspring to phone you if you act cheerful and like you have something urgent to say. Simply text CHAI = “Call! Happy and important!” However if that fails, as a last resort you should play the guilt card again, only this time more blatantly. Simply text GUILT = “Giving up! Ignored, lonely, tired…” Note: It’s crucial you type the three dots in there so they can practically hear your weakened voice trailing off . . . Another version of guilt can be implemented if your son has been married many years and he’s mentioned they’re uncertain about having children. Simply text, GUILT = “Grandkids unsettled? I’m leaving town!” Note: This could be taken as a promise and not a threat.
After Pesach, when you’ve had it with preparing the same kosher for passover breakfast, cook plain scrambled eggs with toast and simply text, SHALOM = “So happy about leaving out matzo!” When you meet a single girl at a circumcision who is all wrong for your adult son but insists on having his phone number, give him a heads up by simply texting, BRIS = “Beware! Really interested shiksa!” No matter what the season or weather, when your kids are coming back home to visit, simply text TASHLICH = “Take a sweater honey. Listen, it’s cold here!”
STEPHANIE D. LEWIS IS A REGULAR CONTRIBUTOR TO THE COMEDY SECTION ON THE HUFFINGTON POST. SHE ALSO WRITES A HUMOR BLOG, “ONCE UPON YOUR PRIME” AND YOU CAN FOLLOW HER @MISSMENOPAUSE ON TWITTER.
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