Phenomenology, the Pandemic, and I Ishtar Warda I) Introduction: The Pandemic and I I have always considered myself an “introvert” and this pandemic has made me realise, or solidified, how self-reliant I am when it comes to emotional stability and mental stimulation. I do not require others to “pass the time.” So, limited human interaction from people outside of my immediate family has not been an extremely pressing issue. I guess I subscribe to the Aristotelean conception of happiness being contemplation (i.e., activity of the rational part of the soul). I play piano, I read books, I think about and try to write personal philosophical works. I used to feel guilty when I would just sit around and watch senseless shows or YouTube videos, I felt as if I was not making the most of my time. It was not until recently when I questioned why I felt obligated to do so at all. I did not ask for this time. Some would say that this time is a “gift.” But who gifted it to me? I do not believe in a higher power, and even if there were one who bestowed this time upon me, I owe her nothing. Why is there an informal ought when it comes to productivity and time? If it brings me happiness and is not immoral—simply according to the ethics of common decency—to sit on my bed and watch nature documentaries or play The Last of Us Part II, then this is what I will do. I do not believe in having to justify the passing or use of my time because it is precisely that—mine. I cannot speak to the experience of others, but I am sure it is not too different from mine in terms of memory, or lack thereof. I consider myself navigationally challenged; I am terrible at reading maps and I can get lost/disoriented pretty easily; my saving grace is usually landmarks. I orient myself physically according to things that stand out in an empirical/physical way. If I am walking down Queen St. West from Osgoode station and hit the McDonalds at the large intersection, then that is when I know to turn right to get to Sonic Boom. My memory works the same way, if there are no “landmarks” (i.e., important/significant events) then I cannot really recall a period of time. I guess this brings memory down to an “empirical” form; it is not simply the record of our experience of time as one endlessly flowing stream towards the next present moment. Memory is the tool our minds use to flag something relatively important. You probably do not remember what you ate for breakfast, but you might remember the name of your third grade teacher. Perhaps this is reminiscent of how Nietzsche’s concept of (moral) consciousness depends on our faculty of memory which is strengthened through violent punishment which bonds mind and body. He says that to create an enduring memory in the mind, “one burns in so that it remains in one’s memory: only what does not cease to give pain remains in one’s memory” (p.38). Psychological (and physical) markers of memories serve as these mental “landmarks.” Perhaps we can think of any event or agent which acted upon us at one point in time that had managed to evoke some kind of above-average emotion as having aided in the crafting of memory.
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