Leader's Digest #28 (June 2019) by Leadership Institute

LEADERS ISSUE 28

JUNE 2019

DIGEST

Authentic Leadership

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PUBLICATION TEAM EDITORIAL

Editor-in-Chief Ismail Said Assistant Editor Yvonne Lee Graphic Designer Awang Ismail bin Awang Hambali Abdul Rani Haji Adenan

CONTENTS

ISSUE 28 I JUNE 2019

IMAGE VS AUTHENTICITY: WHAT DOES THE WORLD SEE IN YOU?

ARE YOU A GREAT STORYTELLER?

UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONS ON YOU AND OTHERS AT WORK

HOW DO I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

HOW ARE YOU WEARING YOUR ‘LEADERSHIP HAT’?

5 CRITICAL QUESTIONS FOR LEADERSHIP SUCCESS AND LIFE HAPPINESS

PRIORITISE YOUR INTERNAL CLIENTS AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW

LEADERSHIP & TELLING THE TRUTH

ENFORCEMENT FROM WITHIN

THE TOP TWO SOURCES OF SELFWORTH

TO BE OR NOT TO BE? TO ENRICH OR EXTRACT?

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Content Partners:

Leader’s Digest is a monthly publication by the Leadership Institute of Sarawak Civil Service, dedicated to advancing civil service leadership and to inspire our Sarawak Civil Service (SCS) leaders with contemporary leadership principles. It features a range of content contributed by our strategic partners and panel of advisors from renowned global institutions as well as established corporations that we are affiliated with. Occasionally, we have guest contributions from our pool of subject matter experts as well as from our own employees. The views expressed in the articles published are not necessarily those of Leadership Institute of Sarawak Civil Service Sdn. Bhd. (292980-T). No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the publisher’s permission in writing. 2

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“

Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It’s about impact, influence and inspiration. Impact involves getting results, influence is about spreading the passion you have for your work, and you have to inspire team-mates and customers.

“

- Robin S. Sharma

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Image vs Authenticity: What Does The World See In You? BY LEE HWAI TAH

As leaders and people who carry a certain weight of authority, we may constantly face this dichotomous (or so it seems) dilemma: which “self” do we project to the world, our image or our authentic self? Our image is the face (or faces) we wear for people around us to see – the self that we consciously project to the world. Our authentic self is the true essence within, the inner man or woman – who we really are, especially when no one is looking. When people find out that our image (who people see) is very different from our authentic self (who we really are), things can get pretty embarrassing, to say the least. It’s not surprising that many leaders and famous people (think politicians, heroes, celebrities) painstakingly craft an ideal image for the public eye. It seems that their true selves have not caught up with the images that the public idolises!

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“Do I look great?” When you care too much of how you look to others and focus on getting their approval and acceptance, you are guided by your image rather than your authentic self. You present yourself as more than who you are – you misrepresent your personas, values, beliefs and other information to gain favour. There’s totally nothing wrong with desiring to project a great image for the world to see. It’s important to bring your best self to win in the marketplace and for the world to like you. However, when your image is totally disconnected from your authentic self, you have to constantly keep “shining” and improving your image, for fear of what truth the others

may discover! It’s very tiring to live this way.

I’ve seen and known some leaders who operate very much in their image persona, and I could feel the pressure that’s imposed (mostly by themselves) on them.

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Because they’re not in touch with their true selves, you don’t feel the authenticity in their words and actions; shaky grounding and little trust, devoid of power. Your image and your authentic self do not have to be in conflict. Your image can be based on your authenticity instead of the masks you try to put on.

How do you see yourself? When we think about our true selves, most of us inevitably would first see the faults, black spots and the ugliness. We instantly recall the criticisms and negative remarks that have been thrown at us especially in our early years, even from people who are dear to us like our parents, family members, teachers, etc. Most of us grew up in a society that catches us when we’re doing something wrong rather than when we’re doing something right. Those well-intended “corrections” affected us more than the little praises that we get occasionally. Inevitably, all that influenced and shaped how we see ourselves.

The truth Here’s the truth. You do not know who you really are. You do not know the true extent of your capability, the real size of your capacity and how surprisingly beautiful your true essence is on the inside.

Your authentic self Criticism cannot affect or hurt our authentic self. You may think it can, but you’re merely operating at the “image” level – you care more about how good you look rather than expressing your real self to the world. The value of your authentic self is innate, completely unaffected by criticisms. You can, however, be informed by what those criticisms are trying to tell you, so you can bring more value to the world. I would encourage you to explore some of these questions on your own: • Do you want to look good or to make a difference? • When was the last time you let your guard down? Was it fine? • How comfortable are you in “your own skin”? • Would you feel happier if you achieve great success through a fabricated image and celebrate with many raving fans, or if you achieve some success through your authentic self and celebrate with the circle of people who accept you for who you are? • How can your image be more of who you really are? • What benefits can you gain by allowing the world to see and connect with your vulnerability? • What would it look like if you’re totally unaffected by criticism, and allow your true self to express itself in the world? Yes, imagine what that would look like…

It’s true that you have your weaknesses and flaws – we’re only human. And it’s precisely our humanity and vulnerability that make us beautiful and real. People are drawn to your real story, not a made-up fairy tale. People get connected with you when your authentic self shows up. They get put off by some inflated image. People can identify with your vulnerability, and get inspired by what you can do in spite of that. A perfect Superman that doesn’t get affected by Kryptonite won’t make a very compelling story, would it?

Lee Hwai Tah

Hwai Tah is the founder of Coaching-Journey.com and a certified professional coach and Professional Certified Coach with ICF (International Coach Federation).

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Understanding The Impact Of Emotions On You And Others At Work Save yourself from headaches by understanding the effects of emotion BY JUSTIN OOI T. Y.

Have you heard the song Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2? Sometimes, it feels more like “Monday Bloody Monday” at the start of certain weeks at work. Conversely, have you ever had an extremely busy workday but felt strangely energised at the end of it? Situations are often neutral, but our perceptions and emotions towards them seldom are.

Based on a study conducted in 1997 by Bond University professor of management Cynthia Fisher, there are some common emotions at work shown to shape performance (see Table 1).

This year we’re seeing more budget cuts, voluntary separation schemes and organisation restructuring due to the economic climate. The resulting stress can affect our emotions and, in turn, our productivity.

How do emotions affect our work performance? Happy workers are productive workers. A recent study by economists at the University of Warwick found that happiness led to a 12% spike in productivity. Happy employees feel motivated to do more and raise the quality of their work.

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Studies have shown that dissatisfied employees suffer from more physical ailments ranging from headaches, gastritis, high blood pressure and other health issues which affect productivity.

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A friend of mine, who is a high-achiever, used to work more than 12 hours per day at an international consultancy firm. As a result, he suffered from bouts of debilitating migraines. It didn’t help that his superiors were often more concerned about “Who’s fault is it?” rather than “How to solve it?” when facing hiccups. Since medication did not relieve the migraines, my friend’s neurologist sent him for a brain MRI which provided inconclusive results. After securing a new job that suited him better and provided a healthier work-life balance, his migraines somehow disappeared. Surprise, surprise! How do our emotions impact others? Many of us spend more waking hours daily with colleagues than family members. Handling negative emotions at work can be a delicate affair. At home, if you get into a heated disagreement, you might choose to storm out of the house, sulk in your room or hug and make up later. In a workplace disagreement, it’s seldom advisable to walk out of the meeting, go sulk in your office, or hug your colleague as an apology. Just like any happy (or unhappy) family, our emotions have an infectious impact on those around us at work. It’s quite easy to add to the doom and gloom by swapping tales daily during lunch on: • How my boss snapped at me today during a presentation. • Which colleague is backstabbing which. • Crazy demands by clients. • (Insert other complaints of the day.) Don’t get me wrong, letting off some steam is healthy. What’s even better is if we have encouraging colleagues, who can help analyse situations objectively and recommend solutions instead.

urgently. How can we build contingency to prevent such high-pressure situation? If you don’t have too many positive colleagues, try being one yourself. You’ll be surprised how many colleagues – and yes, even bosses – spring to life when someone encourages them to press on. I was managing two major back-to-back publicity events towards the end of last year. I was feeling burnt out as the next month involved another major event involving over 300 attendees. The problem was we hadn’t fully secured the necessary budget and other crucial details. My youngest staff could see I was very troubled and told me privately, “Justin, chill. You led us through those two tough campaigns successfully. I’m sure we can make this one work too.” And we did. I will certainly remember that piece of encouragement for years to come. If your workplace is filled with rainbows and where everyone holds hands while singing Kumbaya, I doubt you need any further solutions. Workplace emotional health check-up For those who work in the real world, here are some practical suggestions to become emotionally healthy in the workplace: 1. Evaluate If you’re worried, panicking or angry, stop for a minute or two to think. Why am I feeling this way? Is it worth the angst? Are there any other actions or ways to communicate that would be less stressful but still achieve the goal? It’s during such stressful moments when we don’t seem to have a minute to spare, that it’s essential to interrupt our emotionally-charged state of mind with rational solutions instead. Writing down those solutions may save us from hours or days of headaches later on.

• Why did the boss snap at me? What details does he want to see during such presentations? • Who cares about backstabbers? Just be wise and watch your back. • Understand why the client needs to stock/report so Issue 28 I June 2019 7

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2. Prioritise In this era of multitasking (read: organised chaos), there are more than a dozen tasks to complete in each day. Learn to differentiate what’s urgent versus what’s important.

Let toxic grudges go and give cheers to your emotional health instead.

Personally, I pick about three “must-dos” to complete for the day and focus my energy on them. The rest, I consider a bonus if I complete them too. The sky usually doesn’t fall despite having some leftover tasks.

Concluding thoughts These suggestions are based on the concept that emotions are by-products of our thoughts. It’s true that emotions are hard to control at times but we can change the way we think, and thus manage our emotions which influence our job performance and satisfaction.

3. Assert yourself Some unhappy souls constantly get bullied at work because others know they can get away with it.

Since there’s no such thing as a perfect company, decide what you can do today to make your office a happier place.

Being assertive is not about being rude but asking others to be reasonable.

If you do find a perfect company, please don’t join it, as it would no longer be perfect. It’s healthy to take your job seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously – life really is too short.

For example, “Yes, I can help edit your presentation, but I would appreciate that you prepare your initial draft first.” 4. Choose your battles An outspoken senior colleague once declared as he stormed out of our boss’s office:

“

I won the argument, but I lost the war. We should stick with our principles. But if it’s just minor details, it’s best to compromise. It’s wiser to save your cards for bigger matters such as negotiating annual KPIs (key performance indicators), budgets, pay raise, etc 5. Forgive others People sometimes say or do things at work which anger or frustrate us. It may be hard to forgive, especially if the offence was done intentionally or in an underhanded manner. Don’t be a doormat; confront the offender in the most professional manner possible. But whatever the outcome, do yourself a favour and forgive others. Why? As a famous phrase goes: “Unforgiveness is as effective as drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”.

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Justin Ooi T. Y.

Justin Ooi T. Y., Brand Director at GO Communications has over 16 years of experience in corporate communications and marketing. His professional experience provides him with insights on building brands and reputation through strategic engagement with critical stakeholders.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Leadership is having a compelling vision, a comprehensive plan, relentless implementation, and talented people working together.â&#x20AC;? - Alan Mulally-

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How Are You Wearing Your ‘Leadership Hat’? BY JOSHUA YEE

Back in college, my Economics lecturer once asked a classmate a very simple question, “Who are you?” My classmate stood there baffled by the simplicity of it. After gathering his thoughts, he finally replied, “I’m in university now, pursuing my degree in business.” Our society holds quite strongly to a working belief that what you do defines who you are. If someone is a chief executive officer (CEO) of a renowned company, he or she is expected to have the profile of a CEO. This gives the implication that the person always dons a power suit, carries the latest smartphone, is chauffeurdriven and has a personal assistant constantly. The projected image of a leader is one of immaculate attire and articulate speech in the presence of others. However, the reality is that there are many different aspects to leadership. Every one of us has different roles and responsibilities in life. We wear different “hats” for the many “roles” we play. When we step into our workplace, we immediately put on our “boss” or “employee” hat. When we reach home, we discard it for our “mum” or “dad” hat for the children in the family. Once we have tucked the children into bed, we put on our “wife” or “husband” hat. We swap, rotate, and sometimes put on more than one hat in serving others. Despite all that, there is one hat that we never take off: the “leadership” hat. The Oxford dictionary defines leadership as the action of leading a group of people or an organisation. It is not in the act of instructing people, but through showing them. So how do you make the best of this hat you inherently own?

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1. Choose influence over authority Influence is the ability to affect someone or a group of people with your words, actions or position. Authority is the power and position in which one holds to assert dominion over others through orders. A manager of a retail store has authority over his or her employee, but it is based on the position that he or she holds, not through influence. Although it is true that both leadership and management go hand in hand, at the root of it, these are two very distinct perspectives. This is vital in knowing your own leadership style. In his book, On Becoming a Leader, the late Warren Bennis compiled a list of differences between a manager and leader. Bennis wrote: • A manager administers; a leader serves. • A manager gives instructions; a leader shows instructions. • A manager focuses on systems; a leader focuses on people. • A manager relies on his/her authority; a leader relies on his/her influence. • A manager depends on control; a leader inspires trust.

“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” - Peter Drucker

2. Putting people first Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and many other social media have turned the world into a self-absorbent culture of “Likes”, “Comments”, and “Re-tweets”.

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Social media is not necessarily negative, but the compulsive need for social acceptance that it brings out in us, is. We want the latest gadgets, to own a house and a car that we cannot even afford to maintain.

Walton captures the perfect picture of what every leader should aspire to be like. Humble and open in character, ready to serve the needs of others when the opportunity arises.

These individualistic pursuits for material gain shape the way we think about ourselves, and others. Oftentimes, it’s the former.

He told his employees that “if American management is going to say to their workers that we’re all in this together, they’re going to have to stop this foolishness of paying themselves US$3mil to US$4mil bonuses every year and riding around everywhere in limos and corporate jets like they’re so much better than everybody else.”

However, as leaders, people should matter the most. Your employees need to be your priority. The thing is, people need people. Investment in the lives of those who work with you is significant. A leader sees employees as human beings. Therefore, he or she treats them as human beings, not as people who “work for them”. Showing appreciation to your employees after they have accomplished a goal empowers them as well (Marshall Goldsmith, 2008). Praise pays off when it comes to increasing the overall success of your company (Pozin, 2013). Recognising your employees’ accomplishments increases their interest in their work. This goes without saying that honesty is the best virtue when it comes to praise and affirmation. Responsible leaders always look for decisions which benefit the company and the people, never for themselves. Possibly the most important, yet often forgotten fact about an organisation is that your assets are your employees. 3. Lead by example Leadership is serving. Being a leader does not free you from getting your hands dirty. In fact, more often than not, the opposite is true. Successful leaders work the hardest to show and set the bar for all employees to follow. Many leaders of the world today strive to be successful, rich and powerful. They want to be the next Steve Jobs, or Henry Ford. But many more are not willing to do what it takes to get there. Sam Walton, owner and founder of Wal-Mart, the world’s largest retail store which began in the United States, showed us an excellent example of a leader. Walton despised corporate fat cats.

To run a company, a leader’s main role is to delegate to his or her workforce. But when you pick your spot, roll up your sleeves and are prepared to work, you will see the entire organisation following your lead. I think Walton summed it up best by saying:

“If you get your hands dirty, you become involved in something where the realities might compromise your principles. It can also mean that a person is not just stuck in an ivory tower dictating strategy, but is prepared to put in the effort and hard work to make the details actually happen.”

Concluding thoughts Till today, nobody has fully grasped or understood the meaning of leadership. This is because it is an area so subjective and broad that each individual carries his or her own unique leadership style. It is easy to wear the “leadership” hat when we step into our office in power suit and tie, easier still to tick off checklists simplifying leading qualities. But the truest test comes in the form of our integrity in our actions when no one is around. Everyone is entitled to his or her own form of leadership, be it in the role of management or parenthood. These are tools to be used to add to your arsenal as you strive to be a better leader or simply, a better person.

He would handle the cash register as well as stock the shelves in any of his Wal-Mart stores all by himself if there was a need to. Although his company’s operating income in a year averaged between US$10bil to US$12bil, he still chose to drive his old, rusty, dented pickup truck because it had plenty of good mileage left in it.

Joshua Yee

Joshua Yee is a caffeine-dependent life-form. He wants to live in a world where cars can fly, teas are banned, and iPhones are cheaper. He is passionate to see young people stand up to fulfill their fullest potential in their own unique way.

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Prioritise Your

Internal Clients and the

Rest Will Follow BY CHRISTIE CHUA

A game of helium stick helps employees understand the importance of verbal and non-verbal communication. Pic courtesy of Plus Solar.

The number one concern for most businesses – especially small to medium-sized ones – is keeping their clients happy. Clients who are happy with your products and services will return and are likely to recommend you to others, bringing in more business which is necessary to keep your company going.

“We try to be authentic in the whole process, because you can’t deliver excellent customer experience by following protocol all the time; it’s not just about following the right steps – it’s about going with what feels comfortable in the situation and treating others how you wish to be treated,” says Ko.

It is therefore no surprise that businesses dedicate a lot of effort to keep clients satisfied; however, it is all too easy to get caught up in the daily operations of the business and forget who really holds the power to make your clients happy: your employees.

He continues: “In order to serve our employees well, we have to view them as our clients and ask ourselves, ‘How are we going to make them satisfied with the company?’ One way to do this is by cultivating a positive environment that supports learning and helps them to evolve.”

As Virgin Group founder Richard Branson once said:

Creating a safe space for failure

“Clients do not come first. Employees come first. If you take care of your employees, they will take care of the clients.”

Plus Solar prides itself on helping people evolve, be it their internal or external clients. “When they join us as fresh graduates, they might not know much, but two to three years later you can see that they’ve grown so much,” says Ko of his employees.

This is especially true in the current business landscape – technology has made it easier than ever for consumers to choose from a multitude of options, and a highly-engaged workforce is essential in helping businesses remain relevant in increasingly competitive markets.

“The same applies to our clients; we’re helping them to evolve their business by keeping up with technology in the energy sector. In the end, we’re adding value to both internal and external clients by helping them to achieve their goals, while making sure that they’re satisfied with how we serve them.”

Plus Solar Systems chief executive officer Ko Chuan Zhen shares that as a business leader, his clients fall into two categories: internal (his employees) and external (those who pay for Plus Solar’s solutions). While both are important, his primary focus is on his internal clients because he believes that giving them a positive experience with the company will enable them to deliver a similar experience to external clients.

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Ko says: “If you think of the workplace as our classroom, then our role is to learn, contribute and evolve, but a lot of people are not bold enough to take risks and push beyond their comfort zones because they’re afraid of getting hurt. So, they will just follow whatever routine that has been set.”

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This is the last thing business owners want in their company as there will be many missed opportunities for improvement when this occurs.

“I would say that our people become more mature due to this, and it definitely helps the business if the whole team has a strong culture of trust and bonding with each other – we are able to do things faster with better quality and results, and everything that we create will be much better. And we are then able to transfer this quality and positive feeling to our external clients.” Interestingly, Plus Solar also trains its employees to identify their own internal clients within the company, so that they can serve each other better.

Plus Solar employees discussing a project. They believe in the culture of open communication and its effect in creating a positive working environment. Pic courtesy of Plus Solar.

For employees to feel free to experiment, fail, and learn from the experience, they first need to feel a sense of psychological safety in their workplace – or to put it simply, employees need to feel safe to take risks and be vulnerable with each other.

Ko shares an example: “The marketing team’s client is the sales team, because for the sales team to close deals, they first need the company’s brand to be out there as well as material for their pitches – and it is the marketing team’s duty to do the groundwork for this.

The ‘all in’ culture is something that Plus Solar strives to cultivate, where employees feel empowered to dive right into new projects and work on things they strongly believe in. In this environment, nobody shouts at or is rude to others when they make a mistake. Ko shares that Plus Solar leaders also encourage positive competition within the company to make employees realise that they won’t always win; there are times when they will lose as well and there are lessons to be gained from failure. As he puts it:

“Whenever we’re not winning, we’re actually learning.” “This is the philosophy we live by and the culture we instil, so that our people will at least be bold enough to make the call and try something new out. We want them to say, ‘Let’s do this – and if it doesn’t work, it’s okay, let’s come back and change things.’”

The impact of psychological safety at work

Creating this positive environment for his employees has helped with building the trust and facilitating the bonding among individuals in the company, says Ko. This is especially important as the company is expanding rapidly, with many new joiners coming on board in the last year or so. “When the environment is psychologically-safe, there are a lot of things we are able to discuss in a very transparent and rational way,” says Ko. “Everyone is more open to feedback, and it’s a culture that I think is really quite healthy in Plus Solar.”

Plus Solar with one of their clients. Providing clients with an excellent experience is something that the company emphasises in its daily activities and operations. Pic courtesy of Plus Solar.

“I wouldn’t say it’s perfect, but at least they (the employees) are more aware. It all starts with awareness so that they know what sort of value they can add, or ‘plus’, to their internal clients. This goes back to the meaning behind Plus Solar, where the focus is on the ‘Plus’ – meaning that we are always looking to add value to others,” says Ko. This principle extends to external clients as well. Ko says that clients are often surprised that Plus Solar does not always automatically propose the solution with the highest solar panel capacity, even though that would mean more revenue for them. He says: “Our team puts a lot of effort into calculating the capacity needed for a particular roof and if the client does not use that much energy, they will propose a solution that matches their exact needs, even if it means a 10 to 20 per cent reduction of the value of the whole contract. “This is quite a tough decision to make especially when faced with the pressure of meeting KPIs, but it is something that our people still practise because we cultivate the mindset that it should be win-win for both parties. It’s okay for us to take home less as long as we do not take advantage of others, as we must think of protecting other people’s interests as well.”

Christie Chua Christie is a writer and content curator with Leaderonomics. She prefers to convey her thoughts through the written word, and would always choose print over digital. One of her favourite phrases is “It’s not that far; we can walk there!”

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ENFORCEMENT FROM WITHIN BY ZAID MOHAMAD

Since 2000, 49.4 millions summonses have been issued to Malaysians for various traffic offences. This is a staggering amount, translating into a rough average of five summonses per Malaysian driver. For me, however, the statistic itself was not particularly interesting. Instead, the question that came to my mind when I heard about it is this: Basically, are we a nation that only follows the rules when there is enforcement in sight? During a recent holiday to Hong Kong, my family and I noticed how expensive everything was. For example, a short train ride from our hotel to the airport cost HK$90 (RM40) per person, one-way. Multiply that by the size of our travelling party, and I was looking at spending HK$450 (RM200) for the trip. Now, tickets were generally sold through machines. Sensing my apprehension about the huge expense, my kids were curious why people did not just buy the concession tickets at about half the price from the ticket machine. After all, it was a machine and nobody would know whether you were eligible for these tickets. Learning opportunities exist in every situation, not just in the school classroom, and this was one of those real-life situation. My wife Rose immediately responded that while the machine would not know the difference, we humans know we would be doing the wrong thing. Our children understood the rationale and agreed that we must be honest at all times – even when no one is watching.

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Who’s One may argue that enforcement is necessary for societal good, but there’s only so much the men in uniform can do. The best way to effectively maintain good conduct by all is to start by instilling “enforcement from within” among our children. This means that they are taught to voluntarily obey the basic rules of living, including religious duties, without too much prompting and supervision. This is not easy as it requires a strong sense of self-awareness and responsibility, but neither is it impossible. Let’s take a look at examples of more developed countries and how their citizens, young and old, respect the rule of law. The Japanese, for example, are often seen observing rules and laws conscientiously even when they travel to other

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countries that may not strictly enforce those rules or laws. They ensure that they keep their environment clean, drive carefully or arrive on time. Unfortunately, the same cannot always be said for travellers from many other countries.

man known to be a very strict parent. In his house, everyone must follow the rules, failing which severe punishments will be meted out. His children always complained about how they were forced to study at certain hours or do certain things in exactly the way their parents wanted. All was good up until the point when these kids went to visit their cousins. Suddenly, all rules were blatantly ignored and they were running wild and free all around their cousins’ place. Because their own parents were not there to enforce the rules at that moment, these children seized the opportunity to live a little bit more flexibly.

Small lessons, big results Parents can train their kids to be responsible and honest even when no one requires it of them. Inculcating voluntary good habits, like picking up litter and throwing it away properly, goes a long way towards instilling the right attitude from young. Check yourself if you find yourself issuing instructions like “put on your helmet/seatbelt to avoid summonses – the policeman is watching,” or “don’t litter or else the teacher will punish you.”

These are phrases that train young minds to associate the correct action with the fear of punishment. The moment children realise that the risk of being caught is low, they will happily break the rules to suit their convenience.

So use, instead, words that encourage responsibility while properly describing the cause and effect of a particular behavior. Depending on the situation, these would include sentences like “please put on your seatbelt; it will prevent you from being thrown out of the car in case the emergency brake is applied,” or “keeping this area clean is our responsibility because we want to be able to come back here again next week and enjoy it.” The difference is clear. If this approach is practised well and consistently, children will get it. They will understand that behind each rule is a proper rationale. This simple revelation is so powerful that the children themselves will then want to do the right thing without being asked. A fellow parent recently told me about his elder brother, a

Honesty is the best policy It’s hard to be honest when we always act in response to external pressure and not based on our own conscience. Dishonest people are an outcome of the failure to enforce good conduct from within. Such individuals may get away with it for a while, but the truth will eventually catch up with them. In the case of my family’s Hong Kong vacation commuting, our honesty “paid off” immediately. I approached the Customer Service Counter to inquire about a cheaper option, and I was offered a Family Package at a great discount. Indeed, the true test of integrity is what we do when no one is looking. Teach that to your child, and he or she will have the chance of living a happy life, guided by a clear conscience. This can only happen if and when enforcement comes from within. Zaid Mohamad Zaid is a faculty trainer with Leaderonomics, author, columnist, certified parental coach and CEO of Smart Parents Network.

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This may sound strange, but in times of instability, employees are looking for stability of a different kind and you as the CEO, hold the key.

To Be or Not to Be? To Enrich or Extract? Are you the CEO who enriches or the one who extracts? BY JOSEPH TAN

Building a high performance company is not difficult – all the CEO needs to do is to exert his or her positional authority and utter the four magic words – “do it or else”. This approach will result in a “doing” culture i.e. we need to do what is required to please the boss, whether we like it or not. Yet, we all know instinctively that this way of working is not sustainable. This is because in addition to “doing” we are also creatures which require a sense of well “being”. You can be one of these two CEOs:

What is the chief aim of the CEO? Certainly it is profitability. However, we need to ask – profitability at what cost? If it is just about meeting the bottom line, then the best bean counters would also make the best CEOs. This approach would make sense if the output required for your company’s growth is hugely mechanical in nature. If the right materials and equipment input can give rise to the desired output, then you have a profit-making machine. The reality is that, as the CEO, you will have to handle a certain invisible ingredient which holds the organisation together and it cannot be purchased, outsourced or delegated. It is your character. Character is defined as the inward and stable qualities which determine your response regardless of the circumstances. Isn’t it strange then that the CEO should first look inward before he focuses outward on the business strategies of the company?

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As the CEO, the stability of your personal leadership influence may be more important than the stability of your profits.

CEO 1 (Chief Extracting Officer) – the leader who focuses on “doing” – getting more and more from their employees. CEO 2 (Chief Enriching Officer) – the leader who focuses on “being” – developing and helping employees to grow more and more. Think about it – as the CEO, you already have a team running the “doing”, managing the operations. So, if you focus on the “doing”, you are still in the “extracting” role. The culture in such an environment cannot be sustained because there is activity without alignment, busyness without purpose and body without soul. Conversely, if you focus on the “being”, your objective is to take care of the worker above the work, the performer above the performance and relationship above the results. How do I become a more “being” CEO? Mesmerise, not memorise A bank branch manager once told me that he inherited an operation where employees constantly come to work late and he resisted the urge to deliver a lecture in order to give the team a piece of his mind. Instead, he installed a whiteboard where all employees are required to write their names and the time when they check in to work. For the next two months, guess which name was right at the top consistently? It was his name. Then he started to talk about punctuality. Human nature is such that we are not motivated to change our human behaviour just because we received a long and tedious lecture from someone. In fact, that only achieves the opposite effect – we tend to rebel against change when we are talked down to.

Hamlet | Stratford Festival

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Hence, you cannot realistically expect change by

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implementing a “memorisation program”. The strategy is not memorisation, rather it should be mesmerisation. As the CEO, your role is to “mesmerise” your employees by your personal example of excellent character.

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In other words, people do not need to be told how to behave, they prefer to be shown how to behave.

I am not saying that lecturing is not necessary, sometimes you do require that confrontational conversation but the “showing” needs to happen before the “telling”. Then you would have earned the right to be heard. Otherwise, you will be deemed a hypocrite. Here are two practical steps for you to “show it” rather than “lecture it”: Positive beliefs are reinforced when you have a critical mass of believers. Work with your direct reports so that they believe in the change, then their behaviour will be significantly cascaded. Connect success stories with the desired mindset – it will be even more impactful if it is your own personal story. You would be surprised by how a simple example is far more influential than an hour’s worth of lecture. Coach, not poach Often, I hear someone who says – well, nothing influences more than the right compensation package. Does that mean that your influence as the CEO depends on your ability to pay good money to hire good people? This is partly true.

From this angle, grooming home-grown talents could be a viable way to address this cultural fit issue. This would require a strategy of coaching rather than poaching. Here are two questions for you to consider whether your influence is more coaching or poaching: 1. Am I actively coaching a few prospective leaders in order to identify my successor? It is never too early to start looking for one. 2. Am I spending more time inspiring or instructing? Instructing influences the hands and feet but inspiring influences the hearts and minds. It is about influence What is the chief aim of the CEO? It is the personal influence of your character. As Jim Collins, the author of “Good to Great” puts it: “The X-factor of great leadership is not personality, it’s humility”. Now, that requires a fundamental paradigm shift in the mind of the CEO – from results to relationships, from results to reputation and from a sense of restlessness to restfulness. High performance remains the goal of every CEO, but the great CEO is able to add in the sustainability factor to high performance. To do that, you need to begin with an inward approach – that of building your own character because that is the source of inspiring influence. The determinant factor for significant success is not skills but character. Are you the CEO who extracts or the one who enriches?

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a talent fit, the fit from a cultural perspective could be a challenge.

While a good CEO grows the organisation, the great CEO is one who grows his or her people even as the organisation grows.

If there is one clear confirmation of your influence, it is the presence of loyalty. Loyalty that is calculated based on monetary terms is hardly loyalty at all. To some, the shortcut way to building loyalty is to poach, that is to entice “ready-made” talent to join the team. This is only possible if the person you are poaching already shares the same worldview and mindset as you. The danger to this approach is that, while there could be

Joseph Tan

Joseph is a Leaderonomics faculty trainer who is passionate about engaging with leaders to transform culture in organisations.

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Are You A Great Storyteller? BY CHRISTINE COMAFORD

We’ve all seen them. Emotionally flat presentations. Emotionally devoid corporate mission, vision, and value statements that are simply wall art. They’re not memorable. Even when your team memorises and recites them, ask what they mean and you’ll get blank stares. Why? There’s no emotion. There’s no story. What’s your favourite movie? I’ll bet you can enthusiastically tell me all about it, even if you haven’t seen it in years. Stories are like nutrition for our souls. We remember them and love them. They have deeper meaning for us. On YouTube, there’s a wonderful video clip of a group of marines belting out the lyrics to the theme song from Disney’s Frozen.

Many of us have heard the story about a Nordstrom’s customer returning a snow tire, and the customer service representative handling that request happily, even though Nordstrom doesn’t sell snow tires. We hear the story and we don’t need to be told that Nordstrom’s values customer service. We know already, we have the story.

What do you love in a story?

Notice what makes stories memorable for you. For most people, the stories we remember have some sort of emotional impact on us. They have this impact because we can relate to the hero and the storyline in some way. The stories you tell about your organisation need to be positively impactful too. Neural coupling enables us to connect to the story and personalise it.

Who would have thought combat soldiers could relate to a Disney princess?

We connect to the storyteller via mirror neurons, we get deeply engaged and feel, hear, see and even smell or taste what’s happening in the story too.

And then, there are company stories.

And dopamine, a feel good neurotransmitter gets released

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when a story is emotionally engaging. And that’s just a start! Here’s the storytelling recipe my client’s love when they are crafting company stories.

Step 1: Focus on your “story customer” and their context Who is the story for? Customers? Team members? Take a moment and think about the recipient of the story, what is their context?

Notice the situations they are in, and make sure they can relate to your stories, tell stories where they can see themselves as the hero(ine) of the piece.

“When you tell your story, choose the communication vehicle that fits their context.” For example, one client’s target customer is parents of small children and they told their stories via “mummy blogs”. Telling the same story on LinkedIn would probably not have been nearly as effective.

Step 2: Make it authentic

Fabricated stories don’t usually have the same emotional impact as the real ones. You just can’t make some of those quirky details up, as Mark Twain said “Truth is stranger than fiction”.

“People like stories that have enough specific details to create a picture in their mind.” Have a contest and ask your team to submit the stories of times when your organisation’s values were demonstrated. Develop the stories that have the most emotional impact. To make it really memorable, it also helps if the story is told by a trusted member of the community. For example, stories told by customers about their own experience are going to feel more genuine and impactful than ones that you publish yourself.

point and the ending point, the more dramatic and compelling your presentation becomes.

Step 4: Make it value-oriented

What value, insight, or service resolved the problem? For marketing stories, they might be about how your product or service helped in a unique or challenging situation. Ask yourself: what desirable outcome happened for the protagonist? Make sure your story demonstrates your values. Other stories might be funnier, but you want to promote the ones that demonstrate your values, who you are and how you’ll show up for others.

Step 5: Test the efficacy

Try it out. Does the story communicate positively? Specifically test your story on a representative group of recipients to make sure it has the intended meaning and impact. The internet makes this pretty easy to do, but make sure you have tried out your story in a non-recordable way before you “go big.” Stories are memorable, so you want to make sure people are remembering you positively.

The Net-Net = C.U.R.V.E.

Not every story will meet all of the below criteria, But I like to check my clients’ stories against the CURVE model to make sure they are creating a positive experience. • C for Curiosity – does the recipient want to know what happened? • U for Urgency – does the story create a sense of “must get this done now!” • R for Relevance – is the story relevant to the recipient’s situation or context? • V for Value – does the story reflect my values, is the story valuable to the recipient? • E for Emotion – does the story have an emotional impact?

Your turn

People love to tell stories, they are potent engagement and teaching tools. Follow the above guide and make sure the stories being told about you and your organisation are sending the right message.

Step 3: Give the story movement

Start your story with a problem or situation and then tell how that problem is resolved. Make sure the story goes from a problem (or less than fully desirable situation) to a more desirable outcome. The more challenge you present in the story, the more interesting it gets. The more distance between the starting

Christine Comaford

Christine is a leadership and culture coach. She is best known for helping her clients create predictable revenue, deeply engaged and passionate teams, and highly profitable growth.

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How do I Want to be

Remembered? BY R. THUN THAMRONGNAWASAWAT

The 21st Century is an era of the brain. One of the Nobel Prizes given in 2014 was to a group of three scientists—Dr. John O’Keefe, Dr. May-Britt Moser, and Dr. Edvard I. Moser— for their discoveries of cells that constitute a positioning system in the brain. As someone who is fascinated by the brain and leadership, I am always excited about progress made to understand this amazing organ. The news also brought back a story of the Prize’s founder, Alfred Nobel. A man who earned his wealth from inventing and manufacturing dynamite, an explosive made of nitroglycerin, which he patented in 1867. In 1888, Alfred’s brother, Ludvig Nobel, passed away. However, word got out that it was Alfred who died. Numerous articles were written to recount his biography instead of his brother’s. Unsurprisingly, people’s perception of Alfred was extremely negative. He was portrayed as a cruel man, the ‘merchant of death’ – written a French newspaper. One piece even stated that “Alfred garnered his wealth from inventing a tool that rips away people’s lives.” and that the world has become a better place with him gone. The living Nobel, given a unique opportunity to read how he would have been remembered, was devastated. Alfred then resolved to change his legacy to the world. During one of my coaching sessions, a telecom executive said “I don’t really need anything else in my life. I’ve made it quite far. My kids are all grown up. I only have a couple of years left before retirement. I don’t want to do anything more… It’s tiring.” She said lethargically. “How would you want people to think of you when you’re no longer here?” I asked her.

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She took a long pause before replying “I would want them to remember the good things I’ve done. How I had made a difference.” We spent the rest of our sessions on planning what needed to be done to accomplish that goal. Actions were identified to maximize probability of later generations ‘remembering’ her the way she wanted. .................................................... I do not often write about my dad. But this introspection brought back memories of him. When I was 6 years old, my father was appointed the top position for a government official – Permanent Secretary to the Ministry of Agriculture. He was also the youngest one ever at the age of 49. When teased that he seemed ‘rather humdrum’ about the promotion – perhaps because he had prior served as Deputy Minister, a perceived superior position— my father replied. “I do not think, that a man’s worth is measured by his position. Being a Minister does not mean more honor and respect than any other occupations. There may have been a time that I, coincidentally, served as a Deputy Minister. but never in my mind have I thought of Permanent Secretary as inferior to Deputy Minister. The only important question is how much people remember our good deeds when we’re gone. If you were a Minister but you left people full of curses, where is the honor in that?” Dr. Thalerng Thamrongnawasawat Thairath News 20th Jan 1980

When you lead people with reason, you get only a fraction of their forebrain energy. If you merely entice your people with monetary rewards, then they will leave you the moment someone else offers more. But when you lead people with great values and purpose, you will unleash their infinite potentials of the hindbrain. You will get their pride, dedication, devotion, and love. This energy is boundless because it bears no reasons. If you are unclear, my advice is to pause and ask yourself “How do I want to be remembered?” .................................................... Alfred Nobel decided to dedicate all his wealth into establishing the Nobel Prize. Annual recipients are scientists who have made ‘Outstanding contributions for humanity’. Winners receive research funding of approximately 1 million US dollars – a process that has been ongoing for 116 years. If we were to walk up to a stranger on the streets and ask him who Alfred Nobel was, chances are the answer is a great philanthropist behind the Nobel Prize. Very few, if any, would remember Alfred as the creator of a lethal weapon. Nobel changed his will in 1895. He died in 1896. Some people… came from the light and left into the light. Others… came from the dark and went back to the dark. Sadly… many came from the light but chose to leave in the dark. People who inspire… came from the dark but rose away to the light. A Buddhist Proverb How do YOU want to be remembered?

Despite our father having been a high-ranking official for several years, our family was never surrounded by wealth. What I and my siblings do take great pride in, however, are the values and purpose our father had left for us. My little sister, now a Chief Marketing Officer at a public company in Thailand, once turned down a high-profile customer because “the executive wanted USD 5,000 as a ‘liaison’ fee”. She then gave a reason that made me so proud of her “I’m his daughter. Dad’s children do not do that.” Insights for Leaders: If you aspire to be a great leader, then you need a great purpose. A great purpose does not necessarily mean grand achievements. A great purpose is something that is ‘greater than yourself’.

Dr. Thun Thamrongnawasawat Dr Thun is one of the foremost experts on dissecting complex management and business models and cascading them for easy implementation by companies across different industries. His innovative B.A.S.E. model has inspired numerous organizations to transform.

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5 Critical Questions for Leadership Success and Life Happiness BY RAJEEV PESHAWARIA

For over two decades, I’ve been coaching senior and midcareer executives. I either meet them 1:1 or in my seminars, and typically ask them to describe the challenges they are facing as employees, leaders, or in life in general. Some are unhappy with their bosses or colleagues, some don’t like their job content, while others report relationship problems in their personal life. They seek advice on either how to fix the problematic person(s) in their life, or on how to find a new job or personal relationship(s) in which such problems will not exist. They describe their challenges in vivid detail, often painting themselves as victims of gross injustice, and hope that I can help them in one of the two ways mentioned. However, it turns out that in most cases, it is not the job or the people in their lives that are the problem. Even if they are, the answer lies not in fixing “them.” Rather, it lies in fixing and re-working one’s inner engineering. Specifically, I’ve learned that if one finds honest answers to the following five question, one can drive and control one’s own leadership success and overall happiness much better: Q1. Who or what does my feeling of happiness and success depend on? Q2. Am I living or leading my life? Do I even know the difference? Q3. What are the sources of my power/influence? Q4. Do I work for my organization, or does my organization work for me? Q5. What will my kids be proud of me for? Interestingly, I’ve also learned that the answers to all five of them are based on one single key. Q1. Who or what does my feeling of happiness and success depend on? Most people measure success in terms of wealth and status. In general, they believe they will be happier if they are wealthier and/or have more formal authority. Sadly, in many cases, no matter how wealthy and powerful they get, the real feeling of happiness and success still eludes them. On the other hand, I meet many people of very humble means, but their happiness and feeling of success knows no bounds. Why are so many rich and powerful people so unhappy? Because they have never paused to think about what happiness and success really means to them. Devoid of such self-awareness, they tend to measure happiness and success in terms of power and product ownership, and by what others think of them. As a result, they can easily get greedy for more wealth and power. They also get more dependent on others to feel validated. Before long, they get

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surrounded by people who feed their ego by telling them what they want to hear, not what they need to hear. Real success and happiness stems from knowing what your values are; and developing a values-based purpose in life. Even if the purpose is not achieved, the very pursuit of a worthy purpose, along with living the right values, becomes a source of happiness. When one has a clear sense of values and purpose, happiness and success depends on oneself, not others. High purpose people do not feel the need to measure their success in terms of their formal status or material wealth. This does not mean you should not aspire to be rich. But being rich without a sense of purpose is no panacea for happiness. As former U.S. President Franklin D Roosevelt once said, “Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” So, what would you rather do, drive your own happiness and success or depend on others for both? Q2. Am I living or leading my life? Do I even know the difference? When I ask people to describe the difference between living and leading life, most can nail it quickly:living life is reactive, and leading life is proactive. When one is leading life, one has a clear sense of purpose backed by a set of values they believe to be right. When I ask what the benefits of a clear sense of values and purpose are, again, they are quick to respond: When you lead your life with values and purpose clarity, you are in control. Without it, you are at the mercy of everything that does or does not happen to you. Despite the ease with which they can articulate the differences between living and leading life, most people fall deathly silent when I next ask them if they are currently living or leading theirs. I am always struck by the dichotomy – if they are so clear about the difference, why don’t they lead rather than just live? The answer is again the same: most people don’t pause to ask themselves existential questions like Who am I, and Why am I here? No matter how big the obstacles in their way might be, no matter how hard it gets, people with values and purpose clarity know how to find a way forward. They are much more resilient than those without such clarity. They lead their lives on their own terms. They are not at the mercy of how others treat them. Rather than societal norms and pressures, their inner compass drives them. So, what about you? Are you living or leading?

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Q3. What are the sources of my power/influence? This question is interesting. When I ask government officials and regulators, many cite their formal authority as their primary source of power and influence. But when I ask military personnel, even though their organization is the epitome of command and control hierarchy, they often say it is their own role-modelling that gives them their real power and influence. Clearly, there are two sources of power and influence – formal authority or rank, and what one stands for as a person. One of my favourite activities in seminars is to ask people to name a few powerful leaders from the 20th century. I ask them to give me one example each from Asia, Africa and the Americas. Almost always, the names that pop up are Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr. Next, I ask them what these three people did not have for most of their lives, and the answer is simple: They did not have any formal authority or political office for the most part. And yet these are the names sighted as some of the most powerful examples of leadership in the last century. So, what was their source of power and influence? You guessed it: Who they were, what they stood for, and how they lived their lives each day. In other words, their values and purpose. As Mahatma Gandhi famously said,“My life is my message.” So, what is the primary source of your power and influence? Q4. Do I work for my organization, or does my organization work for me? Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft has been credited with the spectacular turnaround of the tech giant in recent years. In an interview with Prannoy Roy of NDTV, when asked about it, he said something like, “I get a lot of credit, but it’s not me, it’s the people of Microsoft. But we are not done yet… Most employees say they work for Microsoft. Can we change the equation around such that they don’t work for Microsoft, but Microsoft works for them? Can people bring their passion to change the world through their work to Microsoft, and use Microsoft as the platform to deliver their passion to the world…..?”, I think this is a brilliant way of looking at work. Another way of thinking about is this: Is my work just a job, is it a career, or is it purpose? Research shows that in most cultures, people spend more than 50% of their waking hours on work-related activities. In that case, which part of our lives should we try to find purpose in, work or non-work? Further research shows that people who report a sense of purpose in their work report much more happiness overall and live longer and healthier.

Q5. What will my kids be proud of me for? Finally, this question helps put a lot of things in perspective. As people get busy between work and family responsibilities, they often stop thinking about themselves. I meet many parents who say they are working incredibly hard so that they can give their children the very best of everything. “It’s not about me anymore, it’s about how much I can do for my kids. I want them to have much more than what I had growing up….” In return, they expect that their kids will grow up into fine adults who will go on to achieve great heights of success and make them proud. When I hear this, I often ask, “But why should your kids make you proud of them just because you’ve been a great parent? Isn’t it your basic duty to be one given you became a parent out of your own free will?” I seldom get an answer. Next, I pose the question I really want to ask, “What can you do to maximize the chances that your kids will indeed make you proud?” I hear answers like, “I should give them the right values” or “I should give them great education.” Eventually someone gets the hint and says, “The best thing I can do is to make them proud of me first. Maybe, just maybe, then they will feel like following in my footsteps or doing something even bigger. I need to be a role-model first.” And that is the key. How can we expect our children to achieve greatness and make us proud if we’ve given up ourselves and are just living rather than leading our own life? The answer here is again the same – we need to develop a clear sense of values and purpose; and live our life pursuing the values-based purpose to create a better future – so that we become the role models our kids can be proud of. So, are you working on creating a better future your kids can be proud of? While the answers to each of the five questions lead to the same place, I encourage you to think about all five of them separately. Once you formulate your answers, you will have given your life a values and purpose story. As you get started on living the values and pursuing your worthy purpose, your story will become real. Your story will soon become a source of long-lasting courage and strength. Based on this strength, as you continue without giving up in the face of resistance, and you will eventually become the Master of your Fate, the Captain of your Soul.** ** These are the closing lines of the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley that Nelson Mandela used as inspiration to survive 27 years of imprisonment unbroken.

So, what would you rather do, work for a company, or have the company work for you? Rajeev Peshawaria

CEO of the Iclif Leadership and Governance Centre, author of the Wall Street Journal and Amazon best seller Open Source Leadership (McGraw Hill 2017), Too Many Bosses, Too Few Leaders (Simon & Schuster 2011), co-author of Be the Change (McGraw Hill 2014) and a regular writer for Forbes, Rajeev is an out-of-the-box thought leader on leadership, management and corporate governance. He has extensive global experience in leadership and organizational consulting, with a particular focus on uncovering personal and organizational “leadership energy.”

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Leadership & Telling the Truth BY MICHAEL E. KOSSLER

In his book, Open Source Leadership, Reinventing Management When There Is No More Business as Usual (McGraw-Hill, October 2017), my colleague, Rajeev Peshawaria, describes the 21st Century as the Open Source Era. The Open Source Era is characterized by not just rapid change, but hyper-accelerating change, driven by the digital revolution. Thanks to mobile devices we have connectivity and almost unlimited access to information 24/7, 365. In fact, there’s so much information available that almost nothing is private anymore. Literally, we are naked and exposed – just ask the actress Jennifer Lawrence or Equifax, the consumer rating service. Being naked and exposed is especially true of today’s leaders. Almost anything a leader has ever done or said can be fact-checked. Contradictions and changing positions can be brought to light and questioned instantly. As a result, two terms, “alternative facts” and “fake news” have become very popular. With all the claims about alternative facts and fake news in the media and politics, I find myself wondering how long it will be before these terms are used by corporate leadership. It’s getting harder and harder to know who is telling the truth. In the 21st Century, where everyone can quickly be exposed and stripped naked in the public domain, telling the truth is more important than ever for leaders. Let me give you a personal example to illustrate the point I’m making. Years ago, when I was still working in the corporate world, I was the manager of organization development for the regional operations of a mediumsized telecommunications company. The company

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was part of a consortium that conducted and shared the results of a biennial employee opinion survey for benchmarking purposes. It was generally acknowledged within the consortium that there was never a good time to conduct a systems wide opinion survey. However, on this particular occasion, it was really bad timing. The company had recently started a consolidation and downsizing initiative. While the region’s leadership assured employees things would be okay, and jobs would be safe, the outcome of the initiative included a 10% reduction in the workforce. When the results of the survey were made available, the leadership team was surprised by the negative ratings that basically indicated they were not trusted. The region president called me into his office and informed me that we needed to start a “trust campaign” to win back employees. It was a tough sell convincing him that instead of posters and slogans, the leadership team should go out and talk to employees, admit that they were wrong on how the consolidation initiative would impact the organization, and be candid about next steps, which would most likely include additional downsizing. While he initially resisted my recommendation, he finally agreed to conducting a series of townhall meetings around the region. During these townhalls, the president and his team displayed a high level of candor about what was happening, what might happen and what was uncertain. The leadership team got a lot of push back from employees but they resisted the temptation to fight back. They empathized but remained firm in what needed to be done. It took a while but eventually the employees began to trust the leadership team again.

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Which brings me to the point of this article. The bond between a leader and his or her followers is based upon the truth. But that bond is very, very fragile, especially during challenging times such as an economic down turn or the emergence of a disruptive technology that completely upends the corporate business model (think Blackberry verses Apple). One lie, misstep, or omission of facts, can erase years of a trusting relationship. Quickly, employees begin to question their leader’s intent, especially if the leader’s words and behavior are not aligned and this can lead to a loss of trust. Once trust is lost, it cannot be recovered by simply saying “believe me” or “trust me”. It needs to be earned back through actions and behaviors that are authentic, candid, and most importantly truthful. Here are six important leadership lessons I learnt by going through that experience: 1. Don’t say things will not change. Most people want predictability and stability. But, in the Open Source Era, nothing is predictable or stable. Change comes at us fast and from unlikely places. It is better to tell people things will change and help them develop the ability to adapt to change. 2. Don’t tell people what they want to hear. It is very tempting to tell people what they want to hear, which is, everything will be fine, that good paying jobs will be secure or return. It is far better to tell them what they need to hear, and that is the truth. 3. Never promise more than you can deliver. When a leader promises a lot, high expectations are set. When those expectations are not delivered, employees perceive that they have been misled and lose trust in the leader. It’s better to follow the advice of former McKinsey consultant, Tom Peters, and “under promise, over deliver”.

tomorrow is much more difficult; but the day after tomorrow is very beautiful. Most people die tomorrow evening.” 5. Don’t stretch the truth. Like lesson number two, leaders can be tempted to modify the truth to fit the situation or their need. Let’s call this what it is … lying. No matter how tempting the situation is, never, never lie. Mother was right when she said lying only makes matters worse. 6. Never publicly shame anyone. Leaders who shame people only get compliance with their desires; they don’t get commitment. In the Open Source Era, the key to commitment is not shame; it’s engagement. It’s okay to disagree but far better to engage people in discussion rather than break off communication with bellicosity. Being truthful and open is difficult. Many leaders fear that by being honest they become more vulnerable and that vulnerability is construed as weakness. However, as former German President, Horst Köhler, recently said, “Doesn’t it [vulnerability] rather make you more perceptive, more creative, more able to understand others and therefore more able to find solutions?” Being open and truthful maintains the bond of trust between leaders and their followers. In the Open Source 21st Century, we need this bond more than ever. These perspectives and insights were extracted from concepts from the book Open Source Leadership: Reinventing Management When There’s No Business As Usual, written by ICLIF’S CEO Rajeev Peshawaria.

4. Don’t say things will get better when you suspect the opposite is true. It is human nature to want things to get better. When you don’t know if, or when, things will get better, say that. If conditions may get worse, acknowledge it. This does not mean tell your employees to give up. It’s still possible to pursue a better future with fearless purpose. As Jack Ma, CEO of Alibaba, famously said, “Today is very difficult;

Michael E. Kossler

Michael has worked in the field of leadership and organisational development. He leverages his advanced degrees in communications and organisation development to design and deliver results producing development experiences. Michael is also a certified gestalt therapist (Indianapolis and Cleveland Gestalt Institute) as well as a certified coach (Center for Creative Leadership) and member of the International Coach Federation and European Coaching and Mentoring Council.

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The Top Two Sources of Self-Worth BY RAJEEV PESHAWARIA

We humans have always been social. We cherish being loved and liked, and crave society’s acceptance. This craving is so entrenched in our psyche that even without realising it, we go to great lengths every day to ensure people think highly of us. From how we dress (Honey, how do I look in this dress?), to the way we measure our words (Can you please read this email before I send it, and let me know if my tone comes across OK?), to the actions we take (What will people think if I do that?) we are always measuring our thoughts, words and actions using a societal lens. Since the advent of Facebook and other social media, our obsession with being liked by others has become greater than ever before in human history. Come on, admit it, how often do you check Facebook after you post a status update to see how many likes or comments you’ve received? And how do you feel if certain people don’t react to it? Per se, there is nothing wrong with the human need for love and belonging. Who wants to be lonely after all? But if all you do is measure your success in terms of what people think of you, you’re in for a lot of disappointment and insecurity. You will probably leave the planet after a long life without leaving even a trace of legacy. The good news is, it is possible to feel deeply happy and successful without surrendering your life to the likes and opinions of others. To understand how, let’s first meet Jim and Jenny. Jim went to a competitive school where you either had to be very popular yourself, or belong to a group headed by a popular student. An average student with no exceptional talent for sport or anything extracurricular, Jim realized early in life how important social perception was, and did everything in his power to project himself correctly. After high school, Jim went to college and acquired a degree in economics and statistics because he was told it was a good course to pursue. Upon graduating, he applied for several jobs across industries and managed to join the young professionals program in a prestigious and powerful government agency. Over the next few years, he steadily worked his way through the ranks up to middle management. He now has a lot of power over the people and organizations his agency regulates, and is not shy of

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using it. It is not easy to work with him because he always tries to find faults in applications that come to his desk for approval. Constituents seeking approval need to be extremely patient with him because he has a reputation for being difficult and loses his temper quite easily. If you manage to upset him, you can forget about getting your application approved, without which, you cannot continue business. Jenny too started out in a similar school environment (most schools, and most kids at that age, are about popularity and acceptance), and pursued a similar career as Jim in government. However, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to get Jenny upset about anything. No matter what the circumstances, Jenny always has a smile on her face, and rarely ever loses her temper. Furthermore, she goes out of her way to help her constituents, and is forever thankful for the opportunity to serve. Jenny has taken it upon herself to understand the pain points of her constituents, and even though it is not part of her job responsibilities, she is currently fighting a hard battle to facilitate a change in legislation that will make lives significantly better. She has strong forces working against her, but she is unrattled. She continues to strive, and without worrying about possible negative consequences to her personally, plans to keep going until she succeeds. Strangely, even though she works long hours in a stressful job where the pay is ordinary, Jenny is genuinely happy and comfortable. The difference between the two is the source of their selfworth. Jim derives his self-worth from what others think of him, and from how much power he can wield over others. The formal authority of his position is the main source of his self-esteem, and so he is ever ready to attack anyone who questions it. In fact, you don’t even have to question it. Often, Jim imagines injury when there is none. He also has a difficult relationship with his spouse, and without knowing it, often pours out his personal frustrations on his constituents by being unnecessarily difficult with them. The difference between the two is the source of their selfworth.

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Jim derives his self-worth from what others think of him, and from how much power he can wield over others. The formal authority of his position is the main source of his self-esteem, and so he is ever ready to attack anyone who questions it. In fact, you don’t even have to question it. Often, Jim imagines injury when there is none. He also has a difficult relationship with his spouse, and without knowing it, often pours out his personal frustrations on his constituents by being unnecessarily difficult with them.

Rate the following statements on a 1-5 scale where 1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = Disagree, 3 = Neither agree nor disagree, 4 = Agree, and 5 = Strongly Agree 1. I am 100% clear about my deeply held personal values 2. I have the right values 3. I never compromise my values, no matter what the consequences might be

Jenny on the other hand, derives her sense of self-worth from her personal values, and a values-based purpose. Somewhere along the way, she realized that the whole point of living a life is to make a positive contribution to society, and that the joys of giving are far greater and longer-lasting than the temporary pleasures of receiving. So, she has now made it her life’s purpose to facilitate the change of legislation she is working so hard on, and until she is able to achieve that, she goes out of her way to help her constituents in every way she can. She considers her position and authority as a gift – a gift that must be used to help others, not to maximize her own pleasure or networth. Like Jim, Jenny too cares about what others think of her, but she does not allow that to run her life. She makes decisions based on her values and purpose rather than through the societal lens. As such, she is much more comfortable in her own skin, and does not allow criticism and opposition to hurt her personally.

4. I am 100% clear about my purpose in life

11. I have discovered the true joy of giving

I also meet a lot of Jenny’s who are happy and content even without the trapping of material success. It’s not that I don’t meet rich and successful Jenny’s – there are plenty of them around too. But their sense of well-being and success does not depend on money or authority. Jenny’s are so happy pursuing their purpose, and so entrenched in living their values that they don’t feel the need to compare themselves with others, or to use power indiscriminately, to feel good about themselves. Which one are you, Jim or Jenny? Where do you derive your sense of self-worth from? To find out, try reflecting on the statements below as honestly as you can.

5. My purpose is a worthy one 6. My purpose stems from my values 7. I am making progress towards my purpose Answer 8 or 9 as applicable to you 8. My kids are (or will be) proud of me because of who I am and what I stand for 9. If I had kids, they would be proud of me because of who I am and what I stand for 10. My sense of self-worth stems from what I can give to the world

Use your responses, particularly those items you rated 3 or below, to reflect on your own happiness and success. As Tim Cook, CEO of Apple said in a speech at the 2017 MIT commencement, “Measure your impact on humanity not in likes, but in the lives you touch. Not in popularity, but in the people you serve.” In one of the chapters of my next book, Open Source Leadership (McGraw-Hill, Oct 2017), I describe this concept in terms of Leadership Energy, which is the intrinsic strength that keeps real leaders from giving up despite hardship and resistance. The book explains in a lot of detail how one can develop long-lasting leadership energy, but essentially it is made up of the two things that Jenny has and Jim doesn’t: clarity and conviction in a set of personal values, and a values-based purpose. The good news is, it is never too late to start reflecting on one’s values and purpose. Jenny wasn’t born that way. She proactively looked for, and finally uncovered her leadership energy. We all owe it to ourselves to do the same.

Rajeev Peshawaria

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