Leader's Digest #34 (December 2019) by Leadership Institute

LEADERS ISSUE 34

DECEMBER 2019

DIGEST

HUMANISING : LEADERSHIP WHY RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING MATTERS AT THE WORKPLACE

LEADERS

DIGEST

Publication Team EDITORIAL

Editor-in-Chief Ismail Said Assistant Editor Yvonne Lee Graphic Designer Awang Ismail bin Awang Hambali Abdul Rani Haji Adenan

* Read our online version to access the hyperlinks to other reference articles made by the author.

Contents

ISSUE 34 I DECEMBER 2019

THE QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY, OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS MATTER

RETURN OF THE AUTOCRATIC LEADER

9 HABITS OF PEOPLE WHO BUILD EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIPS

3 TIPS IN BUILDING SUSTAINABLE RELATIONSHIPS FROM LEO TOLSTOY’S STORY

THE KEY TO MOTIVATING SUBORDINATES: STOP TRYING

3 WAYS TO CREATE MEANINGFUL HUMAN CONNECTIONS IN YOUR LIFE

5 TIMELESS LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM MY BIKE-RIDES

5 LESSONS ON EMBRACING HUMANITY IN BUSINESS

CONNECTING IS GIVING

TREAT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE, NOT AS YOU ARE

WHY DO PEOPLE FOLLOW A GOOD LEADER THROUGH THICK AND THIN?

Read this issue and past issues online at bit.ly/LEADSCS Scan the QR code below for quicker access:

Content Partners:

Leader’s Digest is a monthly publication by the Leadership Institute of Sarawak Civil Service, dedicated to advancing civil service leadership and to inspire our Sarawak Civil Service (SCS) leaders with contemporary leadership principles. It features a range of content contributed by our strategic partners and panel of advisors from renowned global institutions as well as established corporations that we are affiliated with. Occasionally, we have guest contributions from our pool of subject matter experts as well as from our own employees. The views expressed in the articles published are not necessarily those of Leadership Institute of Sarawak Civil Service Sdn. Bhd. (292980-T). No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the publisher’s permission in writing.

Issue 34 I December 2019

LEADERS

DIGEST

“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” - Jack Welch

Issue 34 I December 2019 3

LEADERS

DIGEST

The Quality, Not Quantity, Of Your Relationships Matter BY SANDY CLARKE AND EUGENE YJ TEE

ARE your personal relationships bringing out the best in you? Are they making you a better person? Do you find yourself feeling uplifted, encouraged and emotionally supported by your family and friends? Certainly, the quality of our friendships and close personal relationships varies across our social networks. The quality of our relationships has long been shown to influence various aspects of our psychological and physical health. Researchers often refer to high-quality relationships as those “high on social support.” Connecting with others has lots of positive consequences for one’s biological profile; people with high-quality relationships have lower markers for cardiovascular and immune system problems. Good relationships, in addition to making us feel good, are also important for our health and longevity. Richard Boyatzis, a professor of psychology and organisational behaviour, contrasted high-quality relationships with low-quality relationships in his work on leadership. Extending on work done on personal relationships, he highlights that different quality relationships are also evident in the workplace. High-quality relationships are ‘resonant’ in nature, whereas poor-quality relationships are ‘dissonant.’

Issue 34 I December 2019

We may share a resonant, positive relationship with one boss – a relationship characterised by mutual trust and respect. This relationship may be constructed with a more dissonant, conflict-prone relationship with another boss. THE DIFFERENCE Boyatzis states that the key difference between these relationships is due to a different underlying neurological mechanism that triggers when we form connections with others. When asked to recall experiences and memories with resonant leaders, participants in one study showed activation in parts of the brain associated with positive emotions. Recalling memories of dissonant leaders triggered parts of the brain linked with avoidance, decreased attention and compassion, and generally, the experience of negative emotions. Our brains react to and remember the quality of relationships we have with others. Emotions are central to encouraging us to approach and connect with certain people, while avoiding others. Boyatzis and his colleagues propose that leaders be mindful of their relationships with their followers.

LEADERS

DIGEST

One such way is to develop more positive, encouraging forms of coaching. For the leader, this means encouraging a growth mind-set by asking followers to envision their best possible selves, and by offering compassionate responses that help them grow. The same could apply to personal relationships. We can begin by asking ourselves, “Am I mindful about how I interact with my friends and family? Do I react positively and encouragingly when they share good news with me?” Indeed, by reacting negatively – when we respond passively and critically towards another’s good fortune – we may be damaging our connections and overall relationship with that person. When we downplay our friend’s recent promotion by saying things like, “Well, that’s great, but you know, Gary has recently won a really prestigious scholarship award,” we’re not resonating with positivity in our relationships. We should strive to be mindful about how we come across to our friends, how we interact with and support them.

One part of mindfully assessing our relationships is to consider them more holistically. Consider one dissonant relationship, and think about the person’s background and circumstances, along with all other factors which may shape how this person interacts with you. A mindful assessment of personal relationships is to not take them personally, or at least at face value. Think about your own reactions and responses to people you might not like very much. Do they remind you of someone you had a run-in with before? Have you heard rumours that they have something against you? All of these conceptions shape your emotions, which in turn, shape how you respond to others. IN CONCLUSION Being mindful when relating to others has been shown to be useful in close relationships. Married couples, for example, were better able to identify and communicate each other’s emotions and regulate their anger more effectively. Mindfulness is that crucial element that helps us fine-tune our interactions, helping us connect meaningfully, and more resonantly with others.

BEING MINDFUL Of course, we need not expect that all of our relationships are resonant – or even that they should all be resonant – but, we can certainly reflect and be more mindful of whether we are partly contributing to how our family and friends are treating us. It’s beneficial to be mindful of the connections we have with colleagues, friends, and family. Are we being mindful of how we relate to them? What could we do to move neutral, normal relationships to more resonant ones? Perhaps more importantly, what can we do with dissonant relationships? Avoiding the dissonant relationship may seem like an easy solution, but it does little to resolve any further potential conflicts.

Dr Eugene Y.J.

Dr. Eugene YJ Tee is currently Senior Lecturer at the Department of Psychology, HELP University. He has research interests in emotions within organisational leadership contexts. Eugene occasionally writes as a form of catharsis, and at times finds it relaxing to also engage in some video gaming and reading. Sandy Clarke Sandy Clarke has been studying mindfulness and meditation for over 15 years and has gained valuable insights into the practice during stays at forest monasteries. He co-delivers mindfulness workshops with Eugene, and believes it helps to boost focus, creativity, and well-being in the workplace.

Issue 34 I December 2019 5

LEADERS

DIGEST

Habits of People Who Build Extraordinary Relationships BY JEFF HADEN

The most extraordinary professional relationships are built by ordinary actions like these Professional success is important to everyone, but still, success in business and in life means different things to different people – as well it should. But one fact is universal: Real success, the kind that exists on multiple levels, is impossible without building great relationships. Real success is impossible unless you treat other people with kindness, regard, and respect. After all, you can be a rich jerk, but you will also be a lonely jerk. That’s why people who build extraordinary business relationships.

1. Take the hit A customer gets mad. A vendor complains about poor service. A mutual friend feels slighted. Sometimes, whatever the issue and regardless of who is at fault, some people step in and take the hit. They’re willing to accept the criticism or abuse because they know they can handle it – and they know that maybe, just maybe, the other person can’t. Few acts are more selfless than taking the undeserved hit. And few acts better cement a relationship.

2. Step in without being asked It’s easy to help when you’re asked. Most people will. Very few people offer help before they have been asked, even though most of the time, that is when a little help will make the greatest impact. People who build extraordinary relationships pay close attention so they can tell when others are struggling. Then, they offer to help, but not in a general “Is there something I can do to help you?” way. Instead they come up with specific ways they can help. That way, they can push past the reflexive, “No, I’m okay. . .” objections.

Issue 34 I December 2019

And they can roll up their sleeves and make a difference in another person’s life. Not because they want to build a better relationship, although that is certainly the result, but simply because they care.

3. Answer the question that is not asked Where relationships are concerned, face value is usually without value. Often people will ask a different question than the one they really want answered. A colleague might ask you whether he should teach a class at a local college; what he really wants to talk about is how to take his life in a different direction. A partner might ask how you felt about the idea he presented during the last board meeting; what he really wants to talk about is his diminished role in the running of the company. An employee might ask how you built a successful business; instead of kissing up, he might be looking for some advice – and encouragement – to help him follow his own dreams. Behind many simple questions is often a larger question that goes unasked. People who build great relationships think about what lies underneath so they can answer that question, too.

4. Know when to dial it back A customer gets mad. A vendor complains about poor service. A mutual friend feels slighted. Sometimes, whatever the issue and regardless of who is at fault, some people step in and take the hit. They’re willing to accept the criticism or abuse because they know they can handle it – and they know that maybe, just maybe, the other person can’t. Few acts are more selfless than taking the undeserved hit. And few acts better cement a relationship.

LEADERS

DIGEST

5. Prove they think of others People who build great relationships don’t just think about other people. They act on those thoughts. One easy way is to give unexpected praise. Everyone loves unexpected praise – it’s like getting flowers not because it’s Valentine’s Day, but “just because”. Praise helps others feel better about themselves and lets them know you’re thinking about them (which, if you think about it, is flattering in itself). Take a little time every day to do something nice for someone you know, not because you’re expected to but simply because you can. When you do, your relationships improve dramatically.

6. Realise when they have acted poorly Most people apologise when their actions or words are called into question. Very few people apologise before they are asked to – or even before anyone notices they should. Responsibility is a key building block of a great relationship. People who take the blame, who say they are sorry and explain why they are sorry, who don’t try to push any of the blame back on the other person – those are people everyone wants in their lives, because they instantly turn a mistake into a bump in the road rather than a permanent roadblock.

7. Give consistently, receive occasionally A great relationship is mutually beneficial. In business terms that means connecting with people who can be mentors, who can share information, who can help create other connections; in short, that means going into a relationship wanting something. The person who builds great relationships doesn’t think about what she wants; she starts by thinking about what she can give.

That’s unfortunate. Smart people strip away the framing that comes with the source – whether positive or negative – and consider the information, advice, or idea based solely on its merits. People who build great relationships never automatically discount the message simply because they discount the messenger. They know good advice is good advice, regardless of where it comes from. And they know good people are good people, regardless of their perceived “status”.

9. Start small. . .and are happy to stay small I sometimes wear a Reading Football Club sweatshirt. The checkout clerk at the grocery store noticed it one day and said, “Oh, you’re a Reading supporter? My team is Manchester United.” Normally, since I’m pretty shy, I would have just nodded and said something innocuous, but for some reason I said, “You think Man U can beat Real Madrid next week?” He gave me a huge smile and said, “Oh yeah. We’ll crush them!” (Too bad he was wrong.) Now, whenever I see him, he waves, often from across the store. I almost always walk over, say hi, and talk briefly about soccer. That’s as far as our relationship is likely to go and that’s okay. For a couple of minutes, we transcend the customer or employee relationship and become two people brightening each other’s day. And that’s enough, because every relationship, however minor and possibly fleeting, has value. People who build great relationships treat every one of their relationships that way. (That’s a lesson I need to take to heart more often.)

She sees giving as the best way to establish a real relationship and a lasting connection. She approaches building relationships as if it’s all about the other person and not about her and, in the process builds relationships with people who follow the same approach. In time, they make real connections. And in time, they make real friends.

8. Value the message by always valuing the messenger When someone speaks from a position of power, authority or fame it’s tempting to place greater emphasis on their input, advice, and ideas. We listen to internet entrepreneur Tony Hsieh. We listen to authors and entrepreneurs like Norm Brodsky and Seth Godin. The guy who mows our lawn? Maybe we don’t listen to him so much.

Jeff Haden Jeff Haden is a speaker, ghostwriter, and author of The Motivation Myth: How Highly Successful People Really Set Themselves Up to Win.

Issue 34 I December 2019 7

LEADERS

DIGEST

The Key to Motivating Subordinates:

Stop Trying BY RAJEEV PESHAWARIA

Issue 34 I December 2019

LEADERS

DIGEST

“I just don’t get it. We pay higher bonuses than anyone else in the industry, and go to great lengths to make sure non-financial rewards like social/cultural initiatives and training are top notch. Yet, my subordinates don’t seem to be motivated enough to perform at the highest level,” said Ramli, a senior executive from a multi-national company at one of our recent leadership programmes while describing his challenges relating to employee motivation. “They (the subordinates) seem to do just enough to get the job done, but passion and ownership is totally missing,” he went on to add.

Step 1: Find out what they want

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Most managers struggle when it comes to motivating their subordinates. Most try really hard to do whatever they can, and constantly ask themselves what more they can do. And therein lies the problem. Asking yourself what you can do to motivate your employees is a futile question because however hard you try, you cannot motivate anyone. The truth is, like most of us, employees are motivated by their own unique self interest. Unless your actions directly address an employee’s self interest, any motivational initiatives you attempt are likely to fail. So instead of asking what more can you do to motivate your subordinates, you need to find out how each employee is already motivated, and try your best to address their needs. But how is it possible for a manager to keep track of so many individual needs? Where should the manager even start? A simple two step approach should help: 1. Find out what they want and 2. Address their needs to the extent possible in the normal course of daily work. Most employees around the world have three buckets of expectations from the workplace: • What is my Role • What is my work Environment like? • How will I Develop my skills and my career? While each employee’s needs are different, all employees have needs in these three buckets. To some, one bucket may be more important than others, but all have questions in each bucket.

ROLE

In this bucket employees want to know about the nature of their work and how it fits in with their personal purpose. Meaningful work they can related to on an emotional level, is important to most high performers, and to generation Y in particular. There is no shortage of high paying jobs for such people. They decide based on purpose.

ENVIRONMENT

Here, employees want to know if the work environment is in accordance with their personal values. If meritocracy is important to an employee, she will not thrive in an environment that believes in giving equal bonuses to all. If autonomy is important to another, he will not excel in a very regimented environment.

DEVELOPMENT

Finally, growing one’s skills and career is important to most. People with a high achievement drive want to achieve mastery at something, which can only be done by developing some natural strengths further. Employees want to know if their manager will give them opportunities to convert their strengths into mastery. So how can managers use RED? The trick is to learn as much as you possible can about each employee’s preferences in each bucket. You now have an instant and easy to remember framework to start probing. Start using every opportunity during the course of a normal day or week to ask questions around Role, Environment and Development. Simple questions should help, like How are you doing in your role? What are you most excited about in your job? Tell me about an interesting challenge you are currently working on? Are you having fun? What have you done lately to invest in your own learning and development? What are you working towards in your career? These need not be long conversations. Managers can use 5-10 minutes to get a sense every time the opportunity presents itself. Start using every opportunity during the course of a normal day or week to ask questions around Role, Environment and Development. How are you doing in your role? What are you most excited about in your job? Tell me about an interesting challenge you are currently working on? Are you having fun? What have you done lately to invest in your own learning and development? What are you working towards in your career?

Step 2: Address their needs

The more you ask, the more you’ll understand their needs, and the better you will be able to address them. For example, if someone wants to be challenged more, you can assign them on new or special projects. If someone does not fully understand the big picture context of their role, you can explain it. If someone is unhappy about certain aspects of the environment, you can try and change it. Finally, if you know about your employee’s career development interests, you can assign her work that will help them build mastery in their preferred domain. By staffing them on the right projects, by giving constant coaching and feedback, and by investing in appropriate training, a manager can facilitate the mastery process without spending inordinate amounts of time and money. As the employee begins to develop mastery in the field, her motivation soars. But this would only be possible if the manager knew the employee’s strengths and career interests in the first place. Trying to motivate someone in the absence of such information is impossible. So stop trying, and start asking. Rajeev Peshawaria

CEO of the Iclif Leadership and Governance Centre, author of the Wall Street Journal and Amazon best seller Open Source Leadership (McGraw Hill 2017), Too Many Bosses, Too Few Leaders (Simon & Schuster 2011), co-author of Be the Change (McGraw Hill 2014) and a regular writer for Forbes.

Issue 34 I December 2019 9

LEADERS

DIGEST

5 TIMELESS LEADERSHIP LESSON FROM MY BIKE-RIDES BY DR STAN AMALADAS

Issue 34 I December 2019

LEADERS

DIGEST

What can the act of riding a bicycle possibly teach us about leading well? Growing up in Taiping, Perak, a small and unassuming town, my bicycle was my main mode of transportation. I would ride to school, to church, to drop in on my “girl friends” (no, not something we would share with our parents – at that time), to the casual market, to tuition, and, to paraphrase John F Kennedy, sometimes for no other reason than simply to enjoy the pleasures of a bike ride. If a picture is worth a thousand words, does Albert Einstein not appear to be simply having a pleasurable and joyful time on his bike? For Einstein, however, it was more than that. He shared that he thought about the theory of relativity while riding his bicycle. That was his “aha” moment! So, there is more in riding a bicycle that meets the eye! Discoveries can be made. Lessons can be learnt. Collected under five lessons, allow me to share 13 critical sublessons. How’s that for a baker’s dozen? Lesson #1: Keep left hand on left handle and right hand on right handle I recall the urge to sometimes ride my bike hands-free – somehow there was a feeling of freedom in doing something like that! “Look Ma, no hands!” That was more like boasting! But that wasn’t so bad when compared to what I attempted next. I recall my one and only attempt to ride my bike by crisscrossing my hands, namely, placing my right hand on the left handle of the bike and my left hand on the right handle! That was not a smart thing to do. It fact, it was a dumb thing to do. It was even dumber when I started to pedal faster while attempting this feat – somehow believing that hanging on tightly and pedaling faster would keep me in balance. I mean, who did I think I was? Evel Knievel? Jackie Chan? Harry Houdini? Yes, I crashed! Fortunately, I walked away – rather wobbly – with only a few bad gashes and a dislocated left hand. Was I wearing a helmet? Nope! And, I cannot recall the sorry state of my bike! The only sympathy I got from my mom was a stern: “Serves you right, you idiot!” Lessons learnt • When leading, keep left hand on left handle and right hand on right handle. Ignore this principle and suffer the consequences. Have you ever felt like you were leading with

your hands criss-crossed? What were the results? • When you find yourselves in ‘unbalanced times’, or when ‘things’ aren’t going as well as you want it to go, slow down. The temptation might be to try harder. But the pattern is clear: The harder you try and the faster you pedal, the harder and faster you will fall. What’s your choice? • Connected to the second lesson above, when you find yourselves in troubling times, “let go”. I simply held on tightly for dear life when I made a bad choice – believing that the more tightly I held on to the handles, I might avoid falling! My mom was correct in her assessment of me: “you idiot!” Gee Mom… thanks! But I cannot blame her for her assessment. At worst, it was my dumb choice, but at best, it was a life lesson! What do you need to ‘let go’ in your troubling times? Lesson #2: Enjoy & respect the companionship I recall the times when I would ride my bicycle with two of my favourite teachers, who were La Salle Brothers – Bro. John D’Cruz and Bro. Matthew Bay. They were both teaching at St. George’s Institution in Taiping. We would simply hop on our bikes and ride around the outskirts of the town, for no other reason than simply to enjoy the ride and the camaraderie. We would usually give ourselves about 90 minutes for our bicycle rides. Yes, we did create a ‘boundary’. We were not going to ride endlessly! At the same time, there was no ‘destination’ in the conventional sense of that term. It was not as if we were going from “here” to “there”. In our bike rides, our journey was our destination. Lessons learnt • In our very busy and fast-moving world, do you feel like you are simply caught up in “getting there” (wherever ‘there’ is) quicker? Part of the challenge in times like these is that we get “caught up” in producing our products faster than our competition. While that may be necessary, we sometimes forget to enjoy the process. It is important to note that it is not a question of one (process) at the expense of the other (product). It is to focus on both. This was the “informal education” I received from our La Sallian brothers. • Another lesson that they were teaching me is that we were united in the journey. Our journeying through our bicycle rides grew us closer together. We didn’t relate to each other as ‘teachers’ and ‘student’ but rather as companions in a common journey. Imagine orienting to those who have been called to lead as “companions” rather than as “subordinates” or “followers?” As companions, you are friends, confidants, and colleagues. You are in an egalitarian relationship, rather than in a hierarchical or controlling relationship with each other.

Issue 34 I December 2019 11

LEADERS

DIGEST

As colleagues and confidants, you appreciate and celebrate the different gifts that each bring to the table. Therein lies the joy of being together in a journey. • In your companion-relationship with each other, be publicly clear on your boundaries. Make them explicitly known. There are some ways you speak and behave with each other. Respecting those boundaries enhances your relationship. Cross the lines of those agreed-upon boundaries and you lose respect and trust. Lesson #3: Building resilience Do you remember the times when your mom or dad held the seat of your bike as you were learning how to ride a bike? For me, I remember there were no such things as “training wheels”. Our ability to ride our bikes on our own was directly related to mom or dad holding and “letting go” (there it is again!) of the bicycle seat. As a dad who also did the same thing for his children, I knew that letting go meant risking a fall. And my daughters did fall. That was a painful experience. However, they did get up; brush the dirt away; dad did kiss the “boo-boos” to make them feel better – and off they went again… they did not give up.

Issue 34 I December 2019

They fell, they got up, they tried again, and eventually they learnt to ride on their own. Lessons learnt Risking a fall is a way to build or teach resilience. No parent would want their children to fall. No leader would want their companies “to fall”. However, without such an experience, we will not learn the art of bouncing back from a fall. There is strength in that experience. While we don’t intentionally wish for a fall, falling is an opportunity to learn. Our real failures are when we: –– fail to learn from our falls. –– choose not to get up and try again. –– develop defeatist attitudes when we fall. Would you agree? • As you “let go” for the sake of independence and resilience, the equation of “seeing is believing” is now switched to “believing is seeing”. As a parent, I needed to believe that my children can ride the bikes on their own. My “letting go” is a symbol of my acting on my belief.

LEADERS

DIGEST

Lesson #4: Read the signs Allow me to roll the clock a few years ahead and transport you to Canada. I recall being so eager to ride to Bird’s Hills Provincial Park from Winnipeg and back.

Lesson #5: Your learning stays with you There is an amazing truth about riding a bicycle. No matter how long you have been away from riding a bicycle, as soon as you get on it, you ride it well.

Mind you, the park is about 40km away. I was so determined that I chose to ignore the weatherman’s forecast.

The art of cycling returns to you, even after a long absence, as naturally as you breathe air. Wouldn’t you agree?

I rationalised: “They are wrong 80% of the time anyway!”

You may have stayed away from riding a bicycle, as you may now be driving a Ferrari, but it has not moved away from you. It continues to reside in you and is always waiting for you to return to it… if you choose.

And yes, you guessed right! The skies opened up when I was barely 30 minutes out of the city, with a very heavy downpour and with it, strong head-winds (strong-winds are common in our prairie town!). It was as if the Aztec rain-god, Tlaloc, and Chac, the Mayan rain-god were admonishing me: “How dare you, crazy and mere mortal, not listen to my weatherman!” I was convinced that they were both out to get me! “Of all times, the weatherman had to be right!” Those were my internal conversations. To pour more water to an already drenched cyclist, I had to share the highway with motorists and truckers for about 15km. So, not only was I drenched from the rain, I was also rudely splashed by cars and trucks that went by! It appeared as if they were having fun splashing and soaking me with dirty rain water and all the grit that came with it! “Am I in a Revenge of the Weatherman movie?” There was my internal conversation – again! Lessons learnt • Leading well is not all about what you want, no matter how eager and determined you may be. Rationalisations will only get you so far. You also need to pay attention and read the signs. What may those signs be telling you? Ignore your signs – like I did – at your own peril!

Lessons learnt • Lessons learnt from riding a bicycle are like values. While we may have violated some age-old values, while we may have stayed away from living our values, they continue to reside in us. They patiently wait for us to reconnect with them and live them. As soon as we choose to reconnect, our values flourish and guide us through our decisions. • Lessons learnt through the art of riding a bicycle are timeless. No matter what may be confronting you in the ‘here and now’, the experience of riding a bicycle (as a metaphor) can help you deal with your “events” in ways that you may not have imagined. Give it a try! So, get back on your bicycles, literally or metaphorically, enjoy the ride and enjoy the learning! Concluding thought Today, I am in the process of collecting bicycle riding experiences/stories as I write on this subject of “Leading Well” through the metaphor of bike-rides. If you have your bicycleriding experiences that you would like to share with me, I invite you to do so. You will definitely add a unique flavour and another perspective on this work that we call “leadership.”

• When you find yourself in the middle of your “storm”, pay attention to your internal conversations. Your internal conversations can be both inspiring and downright depressing. They can lift your spirits and they can tear you down like jackals. What’s your choice? • When you find others in the middle of their “storm”, you can drench them with more dirty water. You can, for example, blame them for not reading the signs, and punish them by splashing dirty water, and laugh at them as you zip past them, while remaining comfortably dry in your vehicle. How inspiring is that? No – no need to answer that because it was a rhetorical question. Dr Stan Amaladas

Malaysian-born Dr Stan is currently a research associate and lecturer in Canada. As a scholar-practitioner in the discipline of leadership studies, he brings over 25 years of experience both in the public sector and in higher education.

Issue 34 I December 2019 13

LEADERS

DIGEST

Connecting the dots

Recently, I’ve been thinking about some of the big success stories and how they came about. The examples above – just three of many – are iconic success stories: who hasn’t heard of Apple, The Beatles, and Rolls Royce?

CONNECTING IS GIVING Who knows where the possibilities might lead? BY ROSHAN THIRAN

After buying his first two-cylinder car, Frederick Henry Royce was disappointed with the vehicle’s performance. The creative engineer decided to take matters into his own hands, improving existing parts to make the car run better. In time, he began to make his own two-cylinder, 10-horsepower cars. Royce’s innovations soon caught the attention of a Londonbased French car dealer, Charles Stewart Rolls, and a meeting was arranged for the pair to meet in 1904.

While there have been many stories and theories written about why such people succeed, there seems to be one element that’s often overlooked: connection. In each of the three stories, two people were brought together by a mutual friend or acquaintance. If Bill Fernandez hadn’t bothered to introduce Steve Jobs to Steve Wozniak, how might have that one decision affected the course of technology?

Upon meeting, Rolls was impressed by Royce’s creativity and perseverance; the two men discussed combining their talents, and later shook hands on establishing a partnership.

Both men lived in the same neighbourhood, so maybe they would have discovered each other anyway. Or perhaps not.

In July 1957, a group of young musicians were preparing for a local gig when a mutual friend introduced a guitar player to the band’s leader.

What if McCartney had decided to stay home on that day in 1957 when “The Quarrymen”, led by Lennon, played their gig in Liverpool? What if their mutual friend hadn’t made his introduction?

After the band’s performance, the guitarist captivated the group with his talent and knowledge of music. The band’s leader asked the young guitar player to join the band. Paul McCartney accepted John Lennon’s invitation and, just a few years later, their music went on to change the world and influenced many other iconic artists that followed.

Given the many iconic bands that were since influenced by The Beatles, how different would music and popular culture be today? Of course, if events had played out differently in each case, things might have worked out even better, or unfolded in a similar way regardless.

In 1971, Bill Fernandez thought of introducing two of his friends to each other on a hunch that they would hit it off due to their love of technology and playing pranks.

But each of these pairings had unique characteristics and traits, shared interests, and an intense creative chemistry.

The hunch turned out to be right and soon after, the two new friends would spend time together without Bill. They began working on tech projects, pranks, and other ideas.

Each became an unparalleled success story, defining their industries for decades and creating bold legacies that would remain strong long after the first handshake.

In time, they began to work together professionally. Bill Fernandez would become one of his friends’ earliest employees in a company called Apple, founded by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. 14

Issue 34 I December 2019

“AND ALL OF IT BEGAN WITH A CONNECTION.”

LEADERS

DIGEST

As someone who has a tonne of ideas and dreams at any given point, I love creating connections for two reasons: first, I simply enjoy connecting people who I know will hit it off; the second reason is that I am always excited to see what might come from two or more people meeting for the first time. I doubt Bill Fernandez thought his introduction would lead to such an amazing success, and there’s no way the friend of Lennon and McCartney could have known what was to follow from their first handshake. They were just ordinary boys from Liverpool, after all. And that’s the exciting part for me.

Gift of networking

Over the years, I’ve lost count of the number of business cards I’ve given and received. Trying to tally the amount of incredible, talented people I’ve met would give me a huge headache; and the number of insignificant conversations I’ve had that later turned out to be the catalyst for something amazing leaves me pleasantly astounded whenever I think back on them. A few weeks ago, I read an article that talked about how many jobs these days aren’t landed thanks to an impressive CV or cover letter, but rather by word-of-mouth recommendations or introductions made between friends and associates. By no means would I ever say that CVs and well-crafted applications are redundant; however, it’s becoming increasingly clear that connections – as has always been the case – are an increasingly valuable resource in modern times for creating opportunities. A few weeks ago, I bumped into young venture capitalist Liew Tian Rong at an Alliance Bank BizSmart session. He noticed how I had just connected two entrepreneurs and suggested a possible collaboration that could benefit both business leaders. He smiled at me approvingly, saying, “Great to see how you connect everyone. And by the way, thanks for connecting me to the Blockchain folks,” in reference to an earlier situation where I connected him to a possible investment opportunity. Personally, I try to make connections between people whenever I think the respective parties would hit it off and be interested in the other’s insights and passions.

The greatest success stories tend not to come from the pairing of wealthy, well-connected, high-status people.

“Great success stories, yet to be told, are hiding quietly in corners, waiting for the right conditions to come together before they manifest in all their glory, changing the course of history itself.” And so, in creating connections between people whenever we see mutual passions and interests, we never know where it could lead, what opportunities lie in the horizon, or what the next great success might yield. We humans are social creatures and we bring about our best innovations, creations and inventions when we meet kindred spirits who are just as passionate as we are in a particular subject. What a gift to give, to introduce like-minded people to each other and see where that initial spark leads. It might lead nowhere — this is often the case — but there’s no telling what amazing stories may unfold when people with a shared passion and purpose come together to discuss innovative ideas and outlandish possibilities that could go on to change the world. If you can’t afford expensive gifts for your friends and colleagues this festive season, one gift you can offer is the gift of connection. May blessings be showered upon you in the year ahead.

I never think, “Oh, this person is looking for a job, so I’ll introduce them to this hiring manager.” If someone asks me to point them in the direction of an opportunity, of course I’m happy to help, but when it comes to proactively creating connections, it’s more important to me that the connection is mutually valuable, interesting, and engaging.

Roshan Thiran

Roshan is the founder and CEO of the Leaderonomics Group. He believes that everyone can be a leader and make a dent in the universe, in their own special ways.

Issue 34 I December 2019 15

LEADERS

DIGEST

Why Do People Follow A

Good Leader

Through Thick And Thin? BY THOMAS CHAN

Just trust me Simon Sinek, a renowned author on leadership methods and qualities, constantly accentuates the types of inspiration one can impart when in a position of leadership. During his TEDTalk presentation entitled “Why good leaders make you feel safe”, he passionately expressed his views on what leadership is, and what it means to those who hold such positions. Sinek explained that, in order to survive from the dangers of the world, evolution has turned us into social beings, making us live and work together inside a circle of safety.

Great leaders are known to sacrifice the numbers to save their people in a tough economic climate. Would we trust such leaders if we have been assured of our positions during a crisis? According to researcher Dr. Aneil K. Mishra, with regards to human trustworthiness, studies have shown that trust is based on emotional belief that the other party is competent, open, and reliable. Of course, there are also multiple aspects to be taken into consideration. Leaders also have a heavy responsibility of leading the company away from impending losses.

Trust and cooperation does not surface unless we feel safe, and can coexist in a good system of survival. So how do we come to that deep sense of trust and cooperation?

Professional analysts advise that for interpersonal relationships, trust and cooperation can only materialise when employees feel that their environment and futures are safe.

Personally, I believe we should start with the question: how do we trust someone, or something?

Sinek offers more, adding that:

Even heroes in action movies “trust no one”. But Sinek believes otherwise; it should be our initiative to trust others first and take the risk, because it lets them know that we have confidence in them. Leaders in troubled times Trust is complex, and can be earned or lost for many reasons, thus becoming more critical during periods of uncertainty such as in the case of an organisational crisis.

Issue 34 I December 2019

“

Trust and cooperation are very important; the problem with the concept of trust and cooperation is that they are feelings and not instructions.

LEADERS

DIGEST

It is true that we cannot simply instruct a person to trust in us, nor to cooperate with us.

The answer is because these individuals have chosen to look after the people around them.

But, there is always someone who seems more appealing to the crowd than others, whose character seems to gain trust from others easily. So how do we secure the trust of, and cooperation from others?

With such a strong emotional gesture, wouldn’t you feel appreciated and motivated to work harder for this sort of leader?

Survival of the fittest Danger is a constant; it will never go away, either in our work or private life. Let’s just say, in the case of an economic crisis, it is not unusual to admit we fear for our jobs or positions. The dangers of this situation are so complex that they affect a substantial part of one’s life, such as family financial commitments, investments, and also retirement plans. Practically, in today’s Malaysian society, unemployment is unacceptable. There are both pros and cons to a dangerous situation. While we realise the responsibility of independence, we should also build on our clarity and creativity in finding ways to solve problems.

Sinek says:

“

We call them leaders because they are the ones who go first. We call them leaders because they take the risk first before anybody else does. We call them leaders because they will choose to sacrifice so that their people may be safe and protected, and so their people may gain. And when we do that, the natural response is that our people will sacrifice for us. They will see that their leader’s vision comes to life. Why? Because they know that we would have done the same for them.

Good leaders realise that this can lead to an individualistic culture, where the strongest will survive, the rich become richer, and competition among employees to perform will be at an all-time high.

In some cases, people call this strategic influence, where one nurtures key relationships to the point where people’s actions and values are shaped through his/her ability to maintain everyone’s satisfaction levels.

Yet, Sinek’s preposition is to start from the condition inside an organisation (the inner circle).

The people we are referring to can be both clients and employees. In many spheres, influence usually indicates power.

Similar to the concept of a functional family system, we trust in each other to provide for the family, and keep each other happy and safe. Rank and file We should always bear in mind that leadership is a choice, not a rank. There are many people in the senior-most levels of organisations that we know of, but they may not strike us as true leaders. Time and again, we notice or come in contact with people from very senior levels who seem to possess no leadership qualities. They could be from senior management, and as employees, we do what they say because they have authority over us. But if we had the choice, we would not follow them. On the other hand, there exists people at lower levels of the organisation who have no authority, and yet are absolute leaders with a loyal following. Why is that?

It is considered a critical skill to be able to influence others to work for you, unless you still think you can get things done alone, without outside help. This skill should not be limited to just the people from the middle or upper levels of management. In Sinek’s presentation, he notes that in order for employees to feel secure and work with unwavering trust, companies need to consistently develop and maintain a conducive workplace environment for people to carry out their responsibilities. This environment is not just physical, but is shaped and coloured by the behaviour of leaders. Thomas Chan

Thomas Chan is a psychology graduate from HELP University, Kuala Lumpur. He aspires to become a certified professional corporate trainer. To achieve this goal, he is actively exposing himself to the corporate environment and engaging with some of the prominent leaders of this society.

Issue 34 I December 2019 17

LEADERS

DIGEST

Return of the

Autocratic Leader BY MICHAEL E. KOSSLER

Let me be clear from the outset … what follows is not a political commentary. However, I must confess that global politics inspired it. The prompt came from a front-page article in the February 2, 2017, international edition of the New York Times. The article, titled, “Trump could offer opportunity to autocrats”, asks whether Mr. Trump’s election is “instilling new hope for a strongmanfriendly America in countries such as … and nationalists in many other places who hope to follow in Mr. Trump’s footsteps and gain political power.” Having autocratic leaders is not a new phenomenon. Historic figures such as Attila the Hun, Julius Caesar, and Ivan the Terrible were early trendsetters of this approach to leadership. Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot of Cambodia are examples of autocratic leaders in the last century. For more current examples of leaders that exhibit autocratic leadership tendencies, just look around the world and draw your own conclusion. This apparent return of autocratic leadership, as described above, got me thinking about three specific questions: 1) Are autocratic leaders really returning to favour? 2) Will the business world mirror what is happening on the world stage and, as a result, will we see more autocratic corporate leaders? 3) If yes, can an autocratic business leader succeed in the 21st Century? 1. Are autocratic leaders really returning to favour? Let me address the first question by setting some context for what I mean by autocratic leadership. In my colloquial, American English, it means, “My way or the highway”. In other words, “Do it my way bud or risk being humiliated, demoted, fired, or worse”. Autocratic leaders tend to make their own decisions with little or no input from their followers. They want to control all the details, squash dissenting opinions, and are frequently considered bullies and micromanagers. In its worst form, autocratic leadership produces compliance and can result in abuse, dictatorship, or totalitarianism.

Issue 34 I December 2019

But is autocratic behaviour always a bad thing? Not necessarily. In fact, in some situations, an autocratic leadership style might be effective. For example, when quick decisions are required, critical project deadlines must be driven, or stressful circumstances where firm leadership conveys a sense that someone is in charge, an autocratic leadership style might be acceptable. Political leaders such as John Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr, and Nelson Mandela, were at times very autocratic in their approach to leadership but they inspired individuals and their respective nations. The result was commitment by many to a vision (e.g. man on the moon, civil rights, and a rainbow nation). If you accept my brief description of autocratic leadership, then the answer to the first question is yes, autocrats are returning to favour. Global news reports frequently describe the behaviour of world leaders such as Trump of the USA, Kim Jong-un of North Korea, Duterte of the Philippines, Putin of Russia, and Erdogan of Turkey as being autocratic in nature. 2. Will the business world mirror what is happening on the world stage and, as a result, will we see more autocratic corporate leaders? Let’s be honest with each other, if business leaders start to mirror world leaders and become autocratic in their style, this would not be a new phenomenon. Roger Ailes (formerly of Fox News Channel), Albert (Al) Dunlap (Sunbeam Corporation), Leona Helmsley (Helmsley Hotels) and Heather Cho (formerly a vice-president at Korean Air and infamous for a nut rage incident on a plane) have all been described as exhibiting the negative side of autocratic leadership. Cho’s autocratic behaviour stands out as one of the more memorable examples in recent time. You may remember the event since it was publicised world-wide, much to Cho’s chagrin. On December 5, 2014, Cho was a first-class passenger on one of her company’s flights scheduled to depart from John F. Kennedy International airport, in New York City. Cho, along with other first-class passengers, was given a bag of nuts, prior to the plane’s take-off. Apparently, Cho had expected the nuts to be served on a plate. When she questioned the cabin crew chief about the procedure for serving the nuts, she was informed that the correct procedure had been followed. After a loud confrontation, Cho ordered the plane’s captain to return to the gate and for the crew chief to be removed from the plane. The incident delayed the flight by about 20 minutes. The episode quickly went viral and Cho and Korean Air were heavily criticised. In the aftermath, Cho was ultimately forced to resign from the company, was subsequently found guilty in Korean court of obstructing aviation safety and given a twelve-month prison sentence. But there are also examples of leaders who retained the respect of their followers while displaying autocratic behaviours.

LEADERS

DIGEST

John Chambers (Cisco Systems), Bill Gates (Microsoft), and Steve Jobs (Apple) all exhibited similar autocratic tendencies yet people continued to follow them. Apple computer would have been like any other Silicon Valley tech firm if it were not for Steve Jobs. In other words, autocratic leadership in the business world sometimes succeeds and produces incredible results. Given that perspective, I’m willing to go out on the proverbial ledge and suggest the answer to question number two is also yes, we will see more business leaders mirroring what is happening on the world stage. The question is, can they succeed in the 21st Century? 3. Can an autocratic business leader succeed in the 21st Century? For over three decades I’ve taught current and future leaders that an empowering and participative approach to leadership is the best strategy. It’s the best way to engage, inspire and motivate employees. With all due respect to John, Bill, and Steve, I could never have imagined suggesting that an autocratic approach to leadership could be a good thing, let alone inspire commitment and followership. Recently, however, I’ve begun to question that position because of the recent elections in the United States, Brexit issues in Europe, and other world events alluded to earlier. Another factor influencing my thinking is the early results of a proprietary research project currently underway at The Iclif Leadership & Governance Centre (the place where I hangout). The early results suggest that truly visionary leaders may not only have to be autocratic (at least at certain times) but may be expected by their followers to display significant amounts of autocratic behaviours to achieve breakthrough results. At this point, the one thing I can share with you is that in today’s social connected, 24/7 world, leaders must earn the right to be autocratic in their pursuits. How do leaders earn that right? – by building trust. Leaders earn this right when they do four things: 1) Live and follow their deeply-held values, 2) Allow those values to drive a strong sense of purpose – a purpose that is intended to create a better future, 3) Possess a mindset that allows them to keep moving forward even in the face of stiff resistance, 4) Displaying humility by admitting when they are wrong. When leaders of the 21st Century walk the talk, their followers will come along with them even if they don’t always understand or agree. In 1996, I made the transition from working internally as a leadership development professional to working for a large, international, executive education and development organisation. One of my earliest assignments was at WellPoint (now Anthem), one of the largest health benefits

companies by membership in the United States. Along with another colleague, we were to work with Leonard D. Schaffer, then the Chairman and CEO, and his team. The work was requested by the Head of Human Resources and involved team and organisation culture development. Now, I’m sure that Schaffer would not recognise me today if he tripped over me. However, he left a real impression with me. He got impatient with the team building and culture initiative and abandoned the process (much to the chagrin of the Head of HR). I have a vivid memory of him stating, with a form of pride, that he was an autocratic leader. That being an autocratic leader was sometimes more important to get the organisation moving than it was to take the time to get people’s buy-in. The interesting thing is, his team appeared to support him. Schaeffer later described his experience at WellPoint in an HBR article title, “The Leadership Journey”. When I read the article, what struck me was the analogy he used for describing an autocrat. “I would define the autocratic leader not as someone who bullies others needlessly but as the managerial equivalent of an emergency room surgeon, forced to do whatever it takes to save a patient’s life.” The key to Schaeffer’s success was two-fold: 1) He operated from a clear set of values, a sense of purpose and a mental toughness that allowed him to persevere even in the face of resistance 2) His team and organisation trusted him to deliver on his promise of a better future. As ironic as it must seem, in the 21st Century, truly effective leaders may well have to be autocratic in living their own values and relentlessly pursuing their desire to create a better future. So, the answer to question three may well be “Yes”, autocratic leaders can be successful in the 21st Century. In fact, they may not just be successful but may also be needed in the 21st Century. This approach worked for Schaeffer. If you earn the trust of your followers, an autocratic approach may just work for you.

Michael E. Kossler

Michael started his career in the insurance industry, transitioned into telecommunication and eventually ended up in consulting. Having been a practicing manager, he understands the challenges today’s leaders face in a dynamic, constantly changing landscape, especially when it comes to engaging and retaining key talents.

Issue 34 I December 2019 19

LEADERS

DIGEST

3 TIPS IN BUILDING SUSTAINABLE RELATIONSHIPS FROM

LEO TOLSTOYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S STORY BY ROSHAN THIRAN

Issue 34 I December 2019

LEADERS

DIGEST

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on relationships: how can we best build and nurture connections in our professional network as well as our personal lives? As someone fortunate enough to have been able to learn from some of the best leaders in the business throughout my career, I found a lot of great advice and ideas coming to mind – but none of them really satisfied me: the question still niggled away at my mind. The Three Questions

Its significance in relationship-building

Tolstoy’s Three Questions tells the story of a king who wanted to know the answers to three specific questions. If he could answer them sufficiently, he was sure he would never fail at anything ever again. The three questions were:

How often do we find ourselves going through the motions in our interactions? When others talk to us, do we hear to listen and understand? Are we fully present to others for its own sake? Or, do we give just enough to show the bare level of engagement, while ruminating about what’s next on the day’s schedule, or whether it’s time for lunch?

After some time, I rediscovered an old story written by Russian author Leo Tolstoy that I hadn’t read in years, and was glad to see that the tales of old still carry profound nuggets of wisdom that remain relevant today.

1. When is the right time to start anything? 2. Who is the most important person to listen to? 3. What is the most important thing to do? The king offered a great reward to anyone in his kingdom who could sufficiently answer the questions. But after several attempts from people, no one could satisfy the king. In the end, he decided to visit a hermit, renowned for his wisdom, in the hopes of finding the answers to his three questions. Of course, Tolstoy unravels the story far better than I could. So I’ll leave it to you to read his eloquent narrative. In the end, the king gets the following answers from the wise hermit: 1. When is the right time to start anything? “Remember that there is only one time that is important – now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.” 2. Who is the most important person to listen to? “The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with anyone else.” 3. What is the most important thing to do? “The most important affair is to do him good because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life!”

Tolstoy’s Three Questions offers some profound insights into how we can best build and nurture our relationships.

After reading Tolstoy’s story, it occurred to me that the best communicators I’ve come across are those who make you feel as though you’re the only person in the room. They give people their full attention and they make sure to be completely present to the interaction, for however long it lasts. When communicating with others, it’s a two-way process and they are always sincere and authentic when connecting with people. So, how can we best build and nurture our relationships? • Recognise that now is the only time you have to do anything, and therefore it is always the best time. • Whoever you’re with, give them your complete and undivided attention. • Be aware that the best thing we can do for anyone is to give of yourself within your means whatever the other person may need. It could be something as simple as a few minutes of your time, or perhaps they could use your help in some way. Concluding thoughts

Three Questions, for me, offers a key central message to be fully engaged in what we’re doing. It sounds so simple and obvious – but how many of us can truly say we manage to be completely present in all of our interactions? This is the key to maintaining strong relationships and a trait that can no doubt bring an abundance of benefits and opportunities for ourselves and others, if we are able to cultivate genuine connections.

Roshan Thiran

Roshan is the founder and CEO of the Leaderonomics Group. He believes that everyone can be a leader and make a dent in the universe, in their own special ways.

Issue 34 I December 2019 21

LEADERS

DIGEST

Image | Be Here Now Network

3 Ways To Create Meaningful Human Connections In Your Life BY ANDREW GRIFFITHS

Issue 34 I December 2019

LEADERS

DIGEST

While we seem to be doing a whole lot of communicating, we seem to be struggling with connecting. I have no doubt that this is impacting our lives and our business. But, how do you have more connections in your life on a daily basis and to what end? I would like to share three simple things that I do, and I try to do them as much as I can every day. 1. I look people in the eye and smile a warm, friendly smile. 2. I say a big hello while I’m smiling. 3. I pay as many people as I can a sincere compliment. Losing our human touch To say my life changed as a result of this is certainly not an understatement. What really changed was the incredible connection that I’ve had with both complete strangers and friends alike. Try doing these three very simple things yourself, just for one day, and see how you feel at the end of the day. They sound simple, but they actually aren’t because most of us have lost the ability to do these simple little “humanism” acts on a daily basis as we toil about with our busy lives. How a banana made a difference One day, I was on a short flight. Just as the cabin crew were about to close the door, an elderly man came running onto the plane. He was out of breath, he clearly didn’t speak much English and he was quite flustered. He took the seat next to me and settled in as we got ready to take off. Once we were in the air, I opened my bag and pulled out two bananas. I offered the old man a banana and he stopped and looked me in the eye and got all teary.

But when we ignore any perceived embarrassment by, for example, walking into an elevator and saying ‘good morning’ to everyone in there, we have the ability to positively impact people’s lives. The life we impact the most is our own. I was reminded of that by offering an old man a banana. Why bother doing these things? What a great question. I know that the more I look people in the eye and smile warmly, the more I say ‘hello’ to complete strangers, the more I offer a sincere compliment, and the more I simply try to make every interaction with another human being meaningful in some small ways, the more my life becomes immeasurably happier. This, in turn, has a major impact on everything in my world.

In very broken English, he said that he was a very long way from home, he was feeling very alone, unsettled, and afraid, and here a complete stranger was offering him some food. He suddenly felt that everything would be okay – which in turn, made me tear up. It was, after all, just a banana. The reality of life is that we have become so busy, so preoccupied, so distracted, that most of us don’t even stop to make eye contact with other people, let alone offer a simple act of kindness.

Andrew Griffiths

Andrew Griffiths is a Cairns, Australia-based serial entrepreneur and the author of 12 books on starting, managing, and growing small companies. He is a founding mentor in the global entrepreneurial programme, Key Person of Influence, and presents around the world on small business, consumer trends, entrepreneurship, and publishing.

Issue 34 I December 2019 23

LEADERS

DIGEST

5 LESSONS ON EMBRACING

HUMANITY IN BUSINESS BY SUSAN PETOYAN

2018 has definitely been the Year of the Human. This year, the research, analytics, and insights space became obsessed with all things human. The topic was at the core of almost every industry conference. Thought leaders and major players throughout the industry seemed to focus on the importance of the human element. Finally, right?! AI and human, we have arrived! Now that the importance of approaching data with a sense of humanity has become fashionable, the question of what exactly does it means to be human in business is the next open question missing in headlines and podcasts alike. Even though I consider myself to be a student of human behaviour like most data and insight professionals, I had some particularly good reminders – or lessons – on humanity recently. In sharing these with you, my hope is that we can all be inspired to find the human element in every business interaction or situation.

Issue 34 I December 2019

Lesson 1: Find Ways to Connect Authentically The Association of National Advertisers (ANA) recently hosted an event in SoCal which I attended. Tracy Owens, SVP of New Member Acquisition was also going to be there. We had not seen each other in over six years. Yet, we picked up instantly where we’d left off as if it had only been six days and not six years. How did that happen? After some reflection, I concluded that starting relationships authentically – as we had done years ago as two professionals bonding over shared challenges, struggles, successes, and victories – was the key. We had started a deeper, more human relationship six years ago. What was the lesson here? Deposit a bit of authenticity in every relationship you form, whether or not there is a transactional value involved. Pick up the phone to call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while just to say “Hello, I was thinking of you, how are you?”

This is not a strategic decision. It’s a human decision. It’s simple. It’s beautiful. Lesson 2: Centre Your Business Around Putting Humans First At the same ANA event, there was a fascinating case study presented by Del Taco’s chief marketing officer (CMO), Barry Westrum. A recent brand refresh campaign was based on the idea of “Celebrating the Hardest Working Hands in Fast Food” and featured their everyday employees. The spot was cute. But also real. I’m positive that the creative process was not easy. They most likely had hours of debate on measuring the ROI of a non-traditional creative decision to showcase the average employee. The result? Westrum shared that customers not only embraced the concept of seeing real human beings in the campaign, but went as far as tweeting directly using custom hashtags named after the employees.

LEADERS

DIGEST

blockchain, sales, and how they all impact the MR industry and beyond. But there was one presentation that truly stayed with me long after the event was over. It was about red shoes.

The bigger lesson here is this: Have the courage to break the rules and put people first. It is actually a real driver of business success. Lesson 3: Take Every Opportunity to Experience Humanity The following week, I was at the Insights Association’s Leadership Conference in sunny San Diego. On the train ride, I serendipitously ran into Karen Morgan, President of Morgan Search. Our journey included a huge trail derailment, an Uber driver that refused to take us all the way, and several hours of heart-to-heart discussions about the future of the insights industry, the role of women in business, the importance of company culture, and the vulnerability of good leaders. Despite the fact that Karen and I have known each other for over 15 years, we’d almost exclusively spoken only about business before this trip. This train ride was the perfect opportunity to connect on a human level and get to know each other in a completely different way. The lesson here? Don’t be shy about showing your vulnerability or humanity to others. This includes the fears and dreams of the child within, which by the way, is yet another universal human quality. Lesson 4: Embrace Your Core Human Values As always, the Insights Association featured a vast array of fascinating presentations on AI, tech, diversity,

Lonnie Mayne is the chief executive (CEO) of Red Shoes Living, an organisation dedicated to helping others live their lives in a way that stands out rather than fitting in. The entire audience, leaning forward, rapt with attention, was seeing Lonnie strike chord after chord from that stage with this super human message. As businesspeople, we often fixate on the bottom line and business outcome. It’s always KPIs, ROIs, IPOs, EBITDAs, or insert your favourite acronym du jour. But how often do we really focus on having: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

awareness, gratitude, hearing everyone’s story, showing respect and kindness, or putting ourselves out there?

These are Lonnie’s Five Pillars and they reflect human-centric values that serve as keys to a different level of leadership and success.

We made a point to avoid any sales pitches or transactional expectations and just focused on the human aspect of our relationship. As the head of a growing agency, I would typically think about the ROI. The result was an out-of-the-ordinary evening that created new friendships as our clients met each other, bonded, laughed, shared past experiences and arrived at new insights – all of which we hope will fuel powerful personal growth for a long time. There was love in the room that night. As the head of the agency, for me, the ROI for that event was priceless. The final lesson I want to share is this: Invest in people first. Invest personally, fully, and genuinely in people. It’s always the right choice. What About You? When was the last time you felt truly in-touch with the humanity in your colleagues, your clients, and in yourself? By tapping into our humanity inside and outside of business, we can access not only more fulfilling careers, but more fulfilled lives. Let’s connect, human to human.

Big lesson here: No matter how rough things get in the negotiations, war rooms, office politics, promotion races, and fiery competitive battles, don’t forget that we’re all human and we all work on the common platform of being human.

Lesson 5: Genuinely Invest in the Human Connection My last reminder was at a client appreciation and networking event hosted by my company, Imagine If Research & Insights recently in San Francisco. The inspiration for this event was to spend time with our clients outside of deadlines, projects, presentations, and work.

Susan Petoyan

Susan Petoyan is the founder and CEO of Imagine If Research and Insights. Previously VP of Strategy Research and Insights at Walt Disney Company, Susan has spent 20 years using data-driven business strategies to champion positive change for the world’s top brands and their customers.

Issue 34 I December 2019 25

LEADERS

DIGEST

TREAT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE,

NOT AS YOU ARE BY DAN ROCKWELL

Issue 34 I December 2019

LEADERS

DIGEST

“Don’t be so busy with goals and plans that you forget that people get things done.”

It’s frustrating to expect people to be like you when they are like… well, them. Understanding and accepting people is leadership’s missed opportunity. Understand Values “Values energise behaviours, drive commitments, and produce satisfaction.” There’s a woman on my team who loves to help people feel like they belong. It’s a thing of beauty to see her expressing her value. You frustrate and demotivate teammates when you violate their values. You respect and energise teammates when you help them express their values. Understand Doers Doers need a clear goal and a reasonable plan. Once a doer sees the path forward, they’re dynamos. But before a doer sees the path forward, they may seem like anchors. Warning: Beware of disillusioned doers. They’ll sabotage others to prove they’re right. They’ll pull back, let others fail, and then say, “See, I told you so.”

Understand Dreamers Dreamers love ideas, jump quickly, and sometimes flame out. Invite them to explore new ideas. Warning: Beware of dreamers who start too many things and finish too few. Understand Introverts Quiet introverts enjoy time to reflect. If you want an introvert to move forward, give them time to think. Understand Extroverts Aggressive extroverts respond to kind but firm instruction. It’s not anger, but confidence that reaches aggressive extroverts. Talk it through with extroverts. Understand four people principles 1. Adapt where you can. Confront where you must. 2. The way you treat people reflects who YOU are. Fearful leaders tend to lean towards self-protective responses. Authentic leaders speak up with courage and kindness. 3. Always seek the best interest of others, especially when confronting or correcting. 4. Practice kind candour, forward-facing curiosity, and courageous transparency with all. Humility is the secret to effective candour, curiosity, and transparency.

Dan Rockwell

Dan Rockwell is passionate about leadership. He has also owned two businesses and served fifteen years as a Workforce Development Consultant for a Penn State University Special Affiliate.

Issue 34 I December 2019 27

Building Leaders of Excellence

Leadership Institute of Sarawak Civil Service KM20, Jalan Kuching Serian, Semenggok, 93250 Kuching, Sarawak. Telephone : +6082-625166 Fax : +6082-625966 E-mail : info@leadinstitute.com.my