LEADERS
DIGEST
Clever or Tender? Four Types of Active Listening BY SASHE KANAPATHI
Image source: http://y2u.be/cJX1REQB12o
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? – Chris Tucker
We hear, but do we listen with purpose? The quote above was from Chris Tucker’s character in the movie Rush Hour (by the way, highly recommended if you haven’t seen it yet). It’s also very apt for what I would like to discuss today: Active Listening. The speaker is often given a lot of attention and focus when it comes to the act of communicating. But as we all know, the listener has an important part to play as well. Although active listening is well discussed and understood, I want to share some different perspectives on this. In this article, I’d like to discuss the role of the listener. Traditionally, in effective listening, we are taught several things: paying attention, presenting positive body language, being open, not interrupting, giving feedback through questions or paraphrasing, looking at nonverbal cues, etc. These are all valuable, and I believe at some point or other we are taught this in our careers.
However, I believe the key to effective listening is not in the accumulation of these skills. They are of course necessary. But the power lies in understanding the role you are playing as a listener, which I can summarise into four broad areas. As listeners, we seek to fulfil one of these four purposes: • To solve • To soothe • To set • To solicit The role you play has a lot to do with the role that the other party expects you to play as well. Therefore, this has to be aligned. Each of these roles requires a different approach. The key techniques of effective listening apply to all, but how you use them, and to what degree, will differ. In summary, you are going to use a combination of tenderness and cleverness. The key is to know how much of each to use. Issue 39 I May 2020 19
