Career Outlook
The Art of
Small Talk by Lea Hanson, ΑΠ
(University of North Dakota) Because the vast majority of jobs are never advertised, job-seekers need to have a wide network of contacts that can provide support, information and job leads. Every person met can be a potential lead or opportunity, so being able to strike up or maintain a conversation with a new person is an essential career skill. One of most underrated skills in networking is small talk. As sorority women who have experienced training for formal recruitment, we know that small talk and making conversation are skills that can be learned. However, too often we find ourselves in a networking opportunity and feel a loss for words. Career networking is not too different from sorority recruitment. In both settings, people are meeting one another quickly to determine a level of fit and mutual benefit. In networking, much like recruitment, the fundamental challenge is to get to know people and make a positive impression on them that will lead to them remember you... and remember liking you. Think of small talk as a game of ping pong. Each player has the ball for only a second before they bounce it back to the other. Since small talk begins at a surface level, the exchange of statements is usually quick and you have to be on your toes. Don’t monopolize the conversation – like in ping pong, you only get a moment to aim and hit the ball. Small talk is sometimes thought of as fake or shallow, but it is essential to building rapport with a new person, especially a potential boss. There are easy ways to make it genuine and intentionally beneficial for your goals in the conversation. Effective small talk demonstrates attentiveness, positive listening and genuine interest.
Consider three types of small talk: • Probing – Asking questions to get others to elaborate on things they’ve shared. People enjoy talking about themselves, so probe them to share more. Because people enjoy conversations that revolve around them, they’ll be more likely to have fond thoughts of meeting you. “Oh, you’re from Minnesota? What types of things did you do for fun growing up?” Probing is also beneficial because it shows that you are listening to what is being said. • Establishing Connections – Pointing out commonalities. First impressions are most positive when two people can create a connection. Additionally, most tend to like people who are similar to them. “You went to school in North Dakota? I grew up in Bismarck.” • Offering Information – Sharing a personal story to encourage a reciprocal response. This type is the trickiest and must be used with caution to avoid appearing self-centered. Stories that are recent, fit into the context, and are universally humorous are great options. Sharing appropriate information about yourself is a great way to show that you are outgoing and have a sense of humor. The commonality that the three types share is they are usually best established by asking demographical questions (“Where are you from?”) or by commenting on a physical feature (“What a great necklace!”). Asking these basic questions provides the cues you need to go further. Skillful small talkers are like a walking Wikipedia or a contestant on Jeopardy. They know a little bit about a lot of things. This helps them relate to a wider range of people and be more interesting to talk to. Luckily, one can train herself to know a little bit about everything by doing simple things such as reading up on current events and reading books regularly.
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