Where am i now?

Where am I now?

A Visual Evalua5on Leah Haywood

Where was I at the start of the year?

In September I rolled up to university, a shy, quiet person but eager to make friends, seCle into a new course and a new lifestyle, determined to work hard and produce work that I could be proud of. I wanted to work on my confidence in terms of my work and myself. I wanted to explore new mediums as I had previously constrained myself to only using fineliner/pencil as these were mediums I felt comfortable and confident with. I had liCle knowledge of Illustra5on other than knowing that it was drawing and that’s what I liked and had a small collec5on of Illustrators that influenced and inspired my work.

Where am I now?

Now, halfway through the year, I feel I have made 5ny baby steps of progress, but I haven’t done as well for myself as I’d hoped I would. I massively struggled to seCle into the course and to come out of my shell and partake in discussions, crits and to make friends, my aCendance has been way below standard and I feel I have produced no work that I am 100% happy with. Although those first few months have been hell for me, I took 5me to reflect over Christmas and I am now determined on dedica5ng myself to this course and my work. I am con5nuously learning new ways of crea5ng, such as collage, 3D and the importance of shape and texture. I am exploring the context of Illustra5on, learning about new Illustrators and crea5ves that inform my prac5ce and also learning how you can apply illustra5on to different mediums.

Illustrator and ar5st Irana Douer’s work has become a massive inspira5on to me over the last couple of months. I find the style of her work to be really simplis5c yet effec5ve, the messiness of the pencil marks on the paper looks really good in contrast to the rest of the fine lines in her images. Her work is mostly informing the personal work that I do for myself, rather than the work I am doing for briefs, but I am hoping over the rest of the year I can start to combine my personal prac5ce at home to my prac5ce at uni.

I have also found the work of Eric Carle to be very influen5al especially in OUIL405 where I worked with mainly collage, texture and cut paper. Although very different to Irana Douers work the one thing I’m really trying to push myself with this year is experimen5ng in new mediums and techniques and Carle’s beau5fully colorful collage pieces were a big inspira5on for this. He uses simple techniques that create characters full of personality and that are interes5ng to look at.

How is my personal work developing?

I have been pain5ng old skateboards and selling them as a way of developing my prac5ce. I enjoy working with new mediums and on new materials and I’m geXng a lot of sa5sfac5on from seeing a finished illustra5on actually on something rather than just on a sheet of paper.

I am also trying to make work that is a bit more personal. I feel this will help me connect with what I am making more but I also think that it will be relatable to others and provoke some form of emo5on. This is an example of how Irana Douers work is influencing my personal prac5ce.

How is my uni work developing?

I have a new found love for textures and simple shape. I was skep5cal of this way of image-­‐making but was quick to realize it’s advantages and that just because something isn’t heavily detailed doesn't’t mean it isn’t a good piece of Illustra5on.

Group work is actually fun. Being so quiet I avoid having to collaborate or work as group with others but this brief really opened up my eyes to the posi5ves of working in a group. I really enjoyed the project and got sa5sfac5on from working as part of a team.

I have learnt a lot about different types of Illustra5on which has helped me try and make sense of where my interests might lay. I’ve really enjoyed discovering and exploring different kinds of narra5ve work and this paired with the recent Visual Narra5ves brief I have just completed has made me want to explore this area more and see what kind of narra5ve work I could produce and how this could 5e into my personal and professional prac5ce.

I have also enjoyed looking at Illustra5on that has a strong, defined aesthe5c. I find I’m quite fussy with the kind of work I like, which has made it difficult for me to try and discover prac55oners that influence and interest me. PPP tasks have really helped me to push myself to explore the world of illustra5on and discover new influences and new sources of inspira5on.

Worries and Troubles

. I’m really worried that I don’t have a defined ‘visual signature’ yet. I am trying to push myself in exploring new and different ways of image making but I really don’t feel like the work I am producing in uni is ‘mine’ in a sense. I honestly couldn’t pin point one piece of work that I have produced so far that I am proud of.

. I can’t seem to be able to break the barrier between the work I produce for myself and the work I produce for briefs at uni. This is something that’s bugging me quite a lot, I find it hard to make the work I’m given at uni into something that is fun for me and that I’m happy producing, I think this is something that I really need to work on.

. I am lacking a massive amount of confidence in myself, my abili5es and my work. I feel like I’m further behind than a lot of other people on the course and that my work isn’t too a good enough standard. This makes it difficult for me to work in the studio and to aCend crits because I’m constantly worried about people seeing what I’m doing and realizing how uCerly terrible I am. I guess this is just my inner-­‐cri5c being abit too over-­‐powering, I’m probably not as bad as I think I am but this is something that I feel is stopping me from progressing.

. I s5ll have no idea what I want to do when I finish uni, I have no sense of direc5on and only know that this is where my interests lay and that I do want to make a career out of it, I’m just not sure what I want to do exactly yet.

New semester, new start (kind of)

. I hope that this semester I can really build my confidence up, I want to be able to finish my first year at uni with my head held high, a few pieces of work that I’m preCy proud of, a confidence in myself and my work and not dreading returning for second year. I think to do this I really do just need to relax a liCle. I need to stop being so anxious and worried about things, I’m s5ll learning to let myself makes mistakes and learn from them, in my eyes everything has to be perfect and this is something I NEED to let go of otherwise it will drive me insane.

. I want to bring my own way of working at home into how I work at uni. I feel the work I produce for myself is beCer than what I produce at uni so I am going to focus on breaking down that barrier that I’ve built and try and let abit of myself come through the projects that I work on at uni. In turn I am hoping this will help me find a bit more of a solid visual signature.

. I am going to try and start making work that is more interes5ng for me. A lot of the 5me I worry about what other people will think about my work so I try and make work that I think others will like. This is not working for me at all, it’s boring me and I know that I’m not producing a good enough standard of work. I feel like exploring my own interests and my own views on the world more and applying these to my work inside of uni will vastly help me develop myself as an individual and as a professional.