In the balance

I believe that kindness, social grace and civic consciousness can be taught just like how Maths, biology, chemistry and languages are taught in school. Although not everyone can master languages and be scientists, everyone should be able to learn the basic rules about compassion, cleanliness, thoughtfulness and etiquettes. However in reality, respect, kindness and thoughtfulness somehow elude us when we go about our daily activities particularly when life becomes too busy and the demands of everyday life is taking a toll on us. Often when we are so zealous in guarding our own interest and beliefs that we are oblivious to the other people and their needs, we only pay attention to how we can reach our destination in the shortest time possible or how we can complete a task with as few disruptions as possible so that we can move on with other commitments and aspects of our lives.

We know that we have to take care of ourselves because it is so rare that anybody can do anything for you when you are unhappy about your life. Many people only care about reaping the most for themselves and you know that if you are not careful, you may be taken advantage of and you may subsequently become resentful when you feel cheated or shortchanged. Sometimes our fear of being victimized or taken advantage of make us go a little overboard. At other times we inflict on others our views that it often becomes invasive in the name of sharing. It has taken me decades to finally acknowledge that few people examine their thoughts or reflect about why they say things the way they have said let alone the words they have uttered to others.

Thoughts come and go thus it is important to practise mindfulness. We must not take too seriously or be too affected by what the others say as everyone has his or her own point of views and is entitled to each and everyone of their opinions.

As a rule, one’s comments mirror one’s philosophy and whenever one responds to another, it is often related to what is on his or her mind at the time hence we find that some people can be inconsistent in their responses or behaviour. Maybe if we appreciate that everyone is coping with his or her own situation, we will give a little more thought about the others and try to think of ourselves less. When you think of yourself less does not mean that you think less of yourself. It is never easy to make another person see your point of view. Quite often thoughts have a way in forcing themselves into our minds and we must persevere at keeping happy and kind thoughts and getting rid of unpleasant, unkind and dark thoughts.