LeftLion Magazine - June 2007 - Issue 17

illustration: Gemma Fielding

LeftLion Magazine Issue 17 June-July 2007 Editor Jared Wilson (jared@leftlion.co.uk) Deputy Editors Al Needham (nishlord@leftlion.co.uk) Nathan Miller (nathan@leftlion.co.uk) Technical Director Alan Gilby (alan@leftlion.co.uk) Marketing and Sales Manager Ben Hacking (ben@leftlion.co.uk) Artistic Director Dave Reason (mail@woot-design.co.uk) Listings Editors Tim Bates (timmy@leftlion.co.uk) Florence Gohard (florence@leftlion.co.uk) Proofreading Charlotte Kingsbury (charlotte@leftlion.co.uk) Photography Editor Kerri Bellingham Jon Blackmore Pete Cranston Imogen Grey Dom Henry (dom@leftlion.co.uk) Photographers Al Greer (info@algreerimaging.co.uk) Jon Rouston (jon@jonrouston.co.uk) Illustrators Gemma Fielding Rikki Marr (rikki@dealmakerrecords.com) Rob White (robwhite@thearthole.co.uk) Dave Reason Contributors Amanda Young Ian Kingsbury James Walker Jessica Troughton Mark Stevenson Paul Smith Rob Cutforth Robert MacPherson Roger Mean Tom Hathaway Sound Bloke Mike Cheque Magician In Residence Jack Curtis

“What is literature but an insider’s newsletter about affairs relating to molecules, of no importance to anything in the Universe but a few molecules who have the disease called ‘thought’.”

Kurt Vonnegut Correspondence Address LeftLion, 349a Mansfield Road, Nottingham, NG5 2DA. 0115 9123782 If you would like to reach our readers by advertising your company in these pages please contact Ben on 07843 944910 or email ben@leftlion.co.uk

4. May Contain Notts 5. The Smoking Ban 6. What the barman says 7. LeftEyeOn Gallery 8. A Canadian in New Basford 9. Jimmy Sirrel 11. Alan Given 12. Captain Dangerous and Pilgrim Fathers 13. Secret Stealth 14. James Last 17. Ziggy Marley 18. Mat Andasun 20. Staying Out For The Summer 23. Artists profiles 24. Nicola Monaghan 25. Eight New Notts Novels 26. Out and About.

28. The Hockley Hustle 29. Nottingham Events Listings 35. LeftLion Pub Quiz 36. The Last Time I Saw Mark Gott/ Nottingham Zoo 37. Creative writing 38. Rocky Horrorscopes/The Art Hole/ Notts Trumps

Ahoy-hoy!

Thanks for picking up this, the seventeenth issue of your friendly neighbourhood LeftLion magazine. Right now, between your fingers, you’ll find everything you need to know about Nottingham Culture during those crucial months of the year beginning with the letter ‘J’.

Except for January, obviously.

The biggest cultural change in the city you’re likely to notice this bi-month is that from 1 July smoking will have gone the way of bear-baiting, cock-fighting and George Best and been banned from pubs. We got a bunch of our favourite publicans, bar managers and venue owners together to reveal how they’re planning to clear the air.

A more regular occurrence at this time of year is the mass stockpiling of wellies, loo roll and bin bags that traditionally heralds the start of the festival season.

We’ve been so impressed at the way the Trent Tempo has colonised this year’s festival calendar that we thought it was only right to offer you a definitive guide to what’s on, who’s representing Notts where and what to expect after you’ve pitched your tent.

If you’re the kind of person who’s more likely to be thinking of risking skin cancer on a foreign shore than re-enacting the Battle of the Somme in a field in Somerset at this time of year, then fear not, jetsetter!

We’ve got a list of eight great Nottingham novels we’d like to slip inside your beach bag, as well as an interview with Nicola Monaghan, whose debut novel The Killing Jar is chock-full of drugs, murder, sex, joyriding and authentic Strelley accents (sounds like a quiet night down the LeftLion Pub Quiz to us).

Once again, neither of our local football teams really managed to set the lower leagues alight this season.

Instead of dwelling on our disappointments we spoke to Jimmy Sirrel, quite possibly Notts County’s greatest ever manager and asked if he had any Zen-like advice for getting back to the top. He didn’t, to be frank, but he’s still an absolute gent.

Add to that cosy chats with Ziggy Marley, the new Crazy P/Fug supergroup Secret Stealth, the mighty James Last, Alan Given (Chief Executive of the Crime and Drugs Partnership for Nottingham), the lowdown on the Hockley Hustle, the downlow on what we’ve got coming up for you at LeftLion Presents, a heads up on our favourite places to spend money when we’re Out and About and our take on all the stories to have come down the Nottingham news wire, as well as quizzes, pictures, Rocky Horrorscopes and all the best chelp to have been spouted across our forum by the wittiest, cleverest, most bored office workers in Hoodtown - and you’ll be staggered that we’re still insisting on giving you this pinnacle of periodical perfection for absolutely nuppence. Don’t worry: we love you so much we wouldn’t have it any other way.

With all due respect, Nathan Miller njm@leftlion.co.uk

LeftLion magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000 in the city of Nottingham. In April 2006 LeftLion.co.uk received over 500,000 page views.

This magazine is printed on paper sourced from sustainable forests. Our printers are ISO 14001 certified by the British Accreditation Bureau for their environmental management system.

Nominated as Best Free Music Magazine in the UK Record of the Day Awards 2006 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

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BYE BYE BLAIR Without wanting to be universally hated, I don’t think he did that bad a job. Ten years is a long time and I would expect popular opinion to be against anyone (even Buddha) if he’d been prime minister for that long. Having said that, Iraq was a massive fuck up wasn’t it?

Badgaaar

with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham

I hope Gordon Brown can get his act together and raise his popularity because I can’t cope with that vote blue go green twat David Cameron getting into power.

Beast of the Bay Ten years of toothy grins, convincing middle England that you’re actually a Tory, continuing privatisation, dramatically bad crime policy, neglecting the NHS, crazed education agendas, corruption, sleaze, spin, suicides, making the UK among the most unpopular countries in the world.

Well done on Northern Ireland though. snowmonkey We do seem to be in a gratuitously violent, uneducated, disrespectful, avaricious, pissed-up mess don’t we? White phosphorous and torture camps in Iraq. Oh Tony. floydy Blair has annoyed and disappointed me, but I don’t hate him. He did a good job in Northern Ireland and I suspect his back was slightly to the wall with Iraq. He got corrupted for sure, but don’t they all? I don’t fancy being in power for ten years and promising that I’ll not lose some of my down to earth perspectives!

N. Sis This news has nicely buried the interest rise hike in the headlines hasn’t it?

Timmy Thatcher was like your worst ever nightmare.

Blair’s just a really bad dream.

Sara I remember the day Labour came to power for the first time in my life. I spent my entire childhood being told by my parents and their friends that things would be better with a Labour government as we burned effigies of Tory leaders on the bonfire every November. I felt so happy on that day, thinking that all the dark days were over. Now I just feel indifferent. Maybe I’m just getting old. theonelikethe

TALKING CCTV COMING TO NOTTS CCTV in this country is way out of control. We have to do something about it. Something involving damage and violence and fire... the UK is the CCTV capital of the world, nowhere else is watched as much as we are. The average Londoner is caught on CCTV 300 times a day. theonelikethe I think we have more CCTV cameras than the rest of Europe put together, or something silly like that.

There’s also statistics saying every twenty yards or so you walk there’s a CCTV camera. pandapad I wouldn’t get yourselves worried. At the end of the day it’s controlled by government and councils: you can have all the surveillance technology you want, but there’ll always be a pleb on the other end watching the screen, picking his arse and reading The Daily Star.

MrGeesBigCircus Would be the best hack ever if you got control of the speaker in the camera...

Jamie That’s easily done. Some student spods in Leeds hacked into the speaker system at a bus station, so it said “Fuck off and walk to work, you lazy bastards.” If this is inevitable, let’s hope the Council make amends for the tram announcement debacle and get someone in with a proper accent.

Lord of the Nish

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www.leftlion.co.uk/blog

April 3

April 28

Princess Anne officially opens Nottingham’s most popular Emo crèche and place for people to fall off skateboards, The Newer Than It Was Before Old Market Square. Presumably by smashing a bottle of washing-up liquid against the side of the fountain and blessing all who vomit in her. It turns out to be a slightly lighter grey.

There’s a massive fight at a wake in a pub in Clifton. At one point, John Wayne and another American actor with a ludicrous Irish accent are seen punching each other in the face and throwing each other in the Trent, before having a good old laugh about it and having a pint.

April 5 Some bell-end burns down a mosque in Forest Fields. Seeing as it’s a converted church, that’s two deities someone has managed to piss off in one go. Why didn’t they just graffiti ‘Buddha sucks his mam’ on the wall and go for the hat-trick?

April 6 Wollaton Hall completes a £9M facelift, but God knows what they’ve spent the money on. There’s no loft extension, doubleglazing, or even a nice fascia. Rubbish.

April 10 Sneinton Market goes up in flames, damaging seven shops.

Police estimate that local businesses have lost up to £7.31, and are anxious to trace two youths who were spotted on CCTV rubbing Lonsdale trackie tops together.

April 14 165 people dress up as Robin Hood at Nottingham Not-Really-ACastle-When You-Think-About-It and set a world record for, well, most people dressed up as Robin Hood. Obviously. The Guinness Book of Records adjudicators move on to Mansfield later that day to judge an attempt on the most people dressed like the peasants in Robin Hood films record.

April 19 Six new talking CCTV cameras are unveiled in town, specially modified to tackle anti-social behaviour. In St Anns, Hyson Green and Sneinton, a robot sucks its teet’ and calls you a ‘Dezzeh Waste Man’ when you drop a fag on the floor, while one in Hockley has been programmed to laugh at anyone holding a TK Maxx bag.

April 25 Some more greedy city-rapists launch another bid to turn Nottingham into the Happy Shopper Las Vegas, with an attempt to build Europe’s largest poker (which, as we all know, is fivecard brag for the sort of gibbon who believes everything they read in FHM) club. “We will be making Nottingham one of the world’s largest poker centres” says somebody in a suit, as if that was summat to brag about.

April 27 According to the Home Office, crime in Nottingham dropped last year by 9%. Well done, everybody. Meanwhile, a security guard gets stabbed in the leg on Clumber Street, which is trumpeted again as Europe’s busiest shopping thoroughfare (translation: “it’s really badly designed, and has loads of trainer shops and a McDonalds”).

May 4 The citizens of Nottingham stop writing whining letters to the Post that blame Nu-Labour for everything that has gone wrong in their pointless, pointless lives and wreak revenge on the Council in the local elections by, erm, increasing their majority by four seats.

Meanwhile, enough people in Broxtowe scared about someone from Poland taking the benefits owed to them for sitting on their fat arses watching Trisha, manage to stand upright long enough to vote in BNP councillor Sadie Graham, who is also the East Midlands Organiser of the party.

May 5 Notts County end a better-than-last-year-but-still-desperatelycack-season by helping Macclesfield stay up in Division Four.

May 13 Nottingham’s spoon crime problem rears its ugly head once more as the Phantom Fork-Flinger himself, Chris Tarrant, chucks some cutlery at a bloke in Memsaab and is arrested by four coppers in flak jackets. “But why didn’t he go to 4550 Miles From Delhi?” says the entire population of Nottingham.

May 18 Notts County and Mansfield supporters behave like that Palestinian woman with the Deirdre glasses on 11 September 2001, as rubbish useless bag-o’-shite Forest let in five goals at home to Fred West’s extended family, because they’re shit. Yes, Forest lose 5-2 at home to the mighty Yeovil Town in the second leg of the first division play-off semi-final. Calls at the end of the game for the sacking of manager Colin Calderwood, to be replaced by former Forest legend Stuart Pearce appear to fall on deaf ears, as Chairman Nigel Doughty immediately comes out in support of the current manager. Nottinghamshire football sucks a dog’s arse, doesn’t it?

May 19 Rushcliffe MP, former Tory Chancellor and well known Forest fan Kenneth Clarke launches a formal objection to the plans for two new tram lines to be built in the city. He does this on the basis that he believes the plans are driven by enthusiasts for ‘prestige and glamour’ and would divert cash from other public transport.

Some might say he’s just being mardy from the night before.

Smoking A Timeline... words: Ian Kingsbury 6000 BC Tobacco begins to grow in the Americas.

1000 BC The Mayan civilisations of Central America use the leaves of the tobacco plant for smoking and chewing.

1493 AD Rodrigo de Jerez became the first European smoker in history. One of Christopher Columbus’s fellow explorers, he took his first puff of the New World’s version of the cigar in Cuba. When he returned home he made the mistake of lighting up in public and was thrown into prison for three years by the Spanish Inquisition.

1532-1595 The first English slave trader Sir John Hawkins made three expeditions from Africa to the Caribbean in the 1560s and is the most likely candidate for being first to bring tobacco into England.

1541-1596 Or Sir Francis Drake, the first sea captain to sail around the world, may have been the man to introduce tobacco to England.

1552-1618 Sir Walter Raleigh is erroneously thought to have introduced tobacco to England. He did, however, popularise it in the court of Elizabeth I. 1565 The first imported shipment of tobacco reaches Britain.

1566-1625 King James I famously published his treatise, A Counterblast to Tobacco in 1604. In it he described the plant as ‘an invention of Satan’ and banned tobacco from London’s alehouses. Later he had a change of heart, and nationalised the burgeoning tobacco industry in England, he even reduced tobacco taxes.

1596-1645 Michael Feodorovich: the first Romanov Csar declared the use of tobacco a deadly sin in Russia and forbade possession for any purpose. A tobacco court was established to try breaches of the law. Usual punishments were slitting of the lips or a terrible and sometimes fatal flogging. In Turkey, Persia and India, the death penalty was prescribed as a cure for the habit.

The cigarette, the ‘oily rag’, the coffin nail.

The suffusion of pleasure and relief as you take that first draw, and then the anoxic head rush as the nicotine hurtles brain-ward and the carbon monoxide hijacks red blood cells like a mob of microscopic car thieves (I have a 2:2 bachelors degree in simile and metaphor). Yet it can hardly have escaped your notice that, come 1 July, England will follow the rest of the UK in banning smoking in public places. Of course, smoking is already widely proscribed in public, most obviously buses, theatres, cinemas and workplaces - so it will be pubs, nightclubs and restaurants that will feel the brunt of the ban. There are myriad reasons why we smoke; pleasure, addiction, habit or self-medication, but is the ban a move in the right direction and will it really change the habit of a lifetime?

The idea of a blanket ban on smoking in public places generally elicits one of two reactions: the ‘bloody nanny state’ diatribe or the ‘well, it’ll be a great opportunity to give up’ shrug of stoicism.

Ideally, the role of Government should be to protect us from each other and not from ourselves, but most of us smokers want to give up and are secretly quite chuffed that the ban will force us to cut down. If you’re a social smoker like me, you can also look forward to restoring some of the respect and love eroded by your years of tab-scrounging. Besides, there are alternatives… why not slap a couple of nicotine patches on before you go out, or take to snuff?

Then again, if you’re really serious about using the ban to give up, you could always do a Kojak and occupy your gut-portal with a succession of lollipops.

One way of easing yourself into the ban would be to start drinking in existing non-smoking establishments like the Keane’s Head, the Vat and Fiddle, any Weatherspoon pub or the Broadway. In terms of the impact the ban will have on me, I couldn’t give a jetpropelled guff. I was in Edinburgh last summer for the Festival and I hardly noticed the inconvenience of having to skulk out for a smoke. I do worry about the effect a total ban might have on live music. If smokers (and I’m not referring to real music lovers here, more the passing footfall trade) are forced outside, will it mean they’re less inclined to go and see indoor gigs?

The history of tobacco manufacture is intimately linked with the social and economic history of Nottingham thanks to a chap named John Player who founded his tobacco company here in the mid-nineteenth Century. Having built the Castle Tobacco Factories in Radford in 1883, his operations soon expanded into a thriving cigarette manufactory. Despite having to merge in response to competitive threats from the USA in 1901, Player’s cigarettes retained their distinctive logo of a smoking sailor in a Navy Cut cap. In his 1906 book The Illustrated Handbook to Nottingham, the deliciously named Lemon Lingwood wrote of the John Player’s factory: ‘The Castle Tobacco Factory plays a conspicuous part in the commercial enterprise of Nottingham, and some 1,600 people

find happy and profitable employment within its walls. The total area of the premises…is upwards of seven acres…It is the second largest building of its kind in the Kingdom.’

The new Horizon factory was opened in the early 1970s on Nottingham’s industrial outskirts, ironically enough next door to the Boots headquarters, a company devoted to improving health.

The old factories in Radford were gradually allowed to wind down and the final demolition of the No.3 Factory, famed for its distinctive clock and rooftop John Player & Sons sign, eventually came in the late 1980s. Player’s is still in existence, albeit with a much reduced workforce of around 700, but it’s no longer one of the big three employers in Nottingham (the other two being Boots and Raleigh).

From history to health. Of all the pop-science facts circulating about smoking, the two most oft-quoted are the old ‘each fag takes five minutes off your life’ chestnut and that a cigarette contains over 400 chemicals, including ammonia, hydrogen cyanide and toxic trace metals such as lead and arsenic. The fact remains that the smoking ban encompasses two major debates, one on health and the other on civil liberties, but if we accept that the right to smoke argument is pretty tenuous, particularly bearing in mind the passive smoking issue, then any legislative measures including tax hikes and bans on public smoking, are surely all to the good? Recent estimates suggest that one fifth (around 114,000) of all annual UK deaths are due to smokingrelated illnesses. Compare that with the 3,500 who die in traffic accidents and the 5,000 deaths from alcoholic liver disease and the scale of smoking-related health risks becomes apparent. You could say that smoking has grave implications…

There was a time when smoking was widely considered to be, if not healthy, then at least a legitimate form of self-medication.

Cigarette companies in the nineteenth century advertised the perceived benefits of smoking, which included providing a lift or a moment of relaxation and powers of superior concentration with the happy side-effect of a reduced appetite. Hinting at the calming effects of smoking, one audacious piece of tobacco sloganeering proclaimed ‘Lung Surgeons Need Strong Nerves’. Even recent research (probably funded by tobacco companies) suggests that nicotine can help to prevent degenerative neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s - although there are surely better methods of taking it than via the noxious effluvium of a ciggie.

Aside from questions of civil liberties, health implications and knock-on effects for pubs and clubs, the ban is now an unassailable reality which we will just have to put in our pipes and smoke. If you still consider it a gross affront to your rights, just spare a thought for the nation’s long-suffering pub dogs. At least now they’ll live long enough to go completely deaf from night after night of pub rock bands.

1832 The birth of the first paper rolled cigarette. It is widely believed that the first paper rolled cigarettes were made by Egyptian soldiers fighting the Turkish-Egyptian war. Other historians suggest that Russians and Turks learned about cigarettes from the French, who in turn may have learned about smoking from the Spanish.

1856 The first cigarette factory opened in Walworth, England.

1858 Fears about the effects on smoking on health are first raised in The Lancet medical journal.

1900 Smoking jackets and hats are introduced for gentleman smokers. The after-dinner cigar (with a glass of port or brandy) is now an established tradition in turn of the century Britain.

1914 Outbreak of World War I sees cigarette rations introduced. Smoking is hugely popular with soldiers in battlefields of northern Europe and cigarettes became known as soldier’s smoke.

1950 Evidence of a link between lung cancer and smoking is published in the British Medical Journal. American film stars like James Dean and Humphrey Bogart popularise smoking in Hollywood by looking cool chuffing away on screen.

1964 US Surgeon General Luther Terry announces that smoking causes lung cancer.

1965 UK Government bans cigarette ads on television in the UK. 1987 Voluntary agreement by tobacco companies leads to printed health warnings on packs in the UK. 1992 Nicotine patches introduced.

1994 Executives of the seven largest US tobacco companies swear in Congressional testimony that nicotine isn’t addictive and deny manipulating nicotine levels in cigarettes.

1998 Tobacco executives testify before Congress that nicotine is addictive under current definitions of the word and that smoking may cause cancer.

2000 Jury awards punitive damages of nearly $145bn against five US tobacco companies after a class action in the state of Florida.

2002 The British Medical Association claims there is no safe level of environmental tobacco smoke.

2003 Advertising and promotion of tobacco is banned throughout the UK. 2006 Scotland bans smoking in all enclosed public places .

2007 England bans smoking in all enclosed public places.

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Ben Brettell Owner of The Maze and Forest Tavern

Rob Gibson Patron of Bar Deux

Ronnie McDermid General Manager, Malt Cross

Benjamin Rose Owner of the Alley Cafe

Smoker? No, but I love a cigar now and again.

Is the smoking ban a good idea? Definitely, if only that we clean our club ourselves, and the place stinks at the end of a night. Wet nub ends are a fucker to sort out!

How is the smoking ban going to affect your business? Not really that sure at the moment but we have a secret plan in place that will help us out on that matter we hope.

Any special plans for after 1 July? Yes, but that’s our secret plan. Before then though check out our prohibition night on 30 June done by the Audio Massage and I’m Not From London crew to mourn the end of an era.

Anything else you want to say? To all of you that do smoke I hope it never rains again, so when you are outside puffing away you don’t get wet through like I did in Ireland last year.

Smoker? I am a reformed smoker. I was on sixty a day until about thirteen years ago.

Is the smoking ban is a good idea? Of course, we’re talking about people’s health at the end of the day. But I do have issues with the way the government has singled out tobacco.

How will this affect your business? I think we’ll see a drop initially, but hopefully not for too long. It’s my mission to keep things interesting and standards high. Also we have quite a large beer garden.

Have you made any special plans for after 1 July? Mais oui. But you’ll have to wait and see!

Anything else to say? From the beginning of July things will be Deux-ferent but our raison d’etre has always been to keep making things better. A Bientot.

Smoker? Yes Is the smoking ban a good idea? I think that some kind of smoking ban is a good idea.

Obviously I’d have liked it if there had been some compromise along the way. I’ll miss sitting around with a pint and a fag in my favourite haunts.

How is the ban going to affect your business?

We’re expecting it to hit us hard. A big problem for us is not having any outside areas.

Any special plans for after 1 July? The Heritage Trust weren’t really up for us making the roof retractable so you won’t be seeing any big changes. You might notice lots of little changes though in our food, product offerings, events and service over the summer.

Anything else you want to say? When I’ve been back to Scotland (where the ban is already in place) it doesn’t really feel like a big deal when you’re in the pub to pop out for a smoke.

We smokers will get used to it pretty quickly.

Smoker? No Is the smoking ban is a good idea? Yes. I think it’s a very good idea. It probably should have been brought in a long time ago to be honest.

How will this affect your business? I don’t think it will really affect us too much. We’re already focusing on our food and the healthy life style, that’s kind of the main ethos of the Alley Café already. So not allowing smoking in here any more can only add to that.

Have you made any special plans for after 1 July? We’re putting up an awning and giving out nicotine patches.

Anything else to say? The quality of food is so important to us, so this should make peoples dinning experience even better as a result.

www.hoteldeux.com www.themazerocks.com

www.thealleycafe.co.uk

www.maltcross.com

Kathryn Pyer Licensee of the Golden Fleece and Detonate Promoter

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James Wilson General Manager of the Orange Tree

Smoker? No Is the smoking ban is a good idea? Overall, yes.

Health-wise it’s a good idea for all concerned, although I do think other smells such as spilt beer and body odour in nightclubs might be an issue!

Most of our staff are non smokers and they are looking forward to it. On the negative side I think that it will affect businesses where they have no outdoor option for smokers to go. Eventually I think people will get used to it but this will take a while, and I think some businesses may suffer initially.

How is the smoking ban going to affect your business? Hopefully not negatively. I’d like to think that we will increase our food trade as more nonsmokers come out to eat and keep the smokers by providing somewhere for them to smoke. As it starts over the summer hopefully people will get used to going outside to smoke while the weather is good and by the time winter comes they’ll be used to it. It wouldn’t have been good to begin the ban in mid-winter!

Have you made any special plans for after 1 July? We’ve just had our roof terrace done up and we will be putting in a covered area up there to accommodate smokers in all weathers.

Smoker? No Is the smoking ban is a good idea? Personally as a non-smoker, I think it’s a great idea.

From a commercial side, I can see it affecting a lot of businesses and some will close as a consequence, which is a shame. I think to counteract the effects of the ban on the ‘on trade’ the government should release some legislation to stop supermarkets selling alcohol at such low prices. Otherwise we will find that many small operators will not be able to compete with the super-chains which will snap up any pub or bar with a decent smoking area.

How is the smoking ban going to affect your business? From the Orange Tree side, things look pretty rosy, we have garden space at the back of the pub which is ideal. With all that in mind, I believe all premises will take a hit, including the Orange Tree, it’ll boil down to what your customer base is and how well prepared you are for them.

Have you made any special plans for after 1 July? I’m currently in discussions with the directors as to the best place for a shelter in the garden.

Anything else you want to say? Erm... I love LeftLion. Woop woop!

www.detonate1.co.uk

www.orangetree.co.uk

LeftEyeOn Gallery

Some choice cuts from our online galleries at www.leftlion.co.uk

Clockwise from top left...

Percussion - Stiltwalker at Percussion’s Spring Ball held in the Marcus Garvey Ballroom on 5 May - Imogen Gray Captain Dangerous - Won a public vote to be open Saturday’s day of music on the Old Market Square live music weekend - Dom Henry Crowdsurfing At the Old Market Square live music weekend on Sunday 1 April - Dom Henry Cowboy Junkies - Played at the Rescue Rooms on 10th March - Al Greer Nottingham - The sun sets on new and old as we glimpse the countryside beyond the hoodtown skyline - Jon Blackmore The Horrors - Whose lead singer crowd surfed round the Rescue Rooms on 29 March - Pete Cranston Ooh La La! - A live demonstration from the Ooh La La! burlesque art exhibition at View from the Top in April - Kerri Bellingham Beverley Knight - Finished off the Old Market Square live music weekend on Sunday 1 April - Dom Henry Princess Anne - Opened the shiny new market square on 5 April - Pete Cranston

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a Canadian in Basford words: Rob Cutforth illustration: Rob White

One of the things that drives me crazy in this town is the obsession with hospital beds.

Whenever something cool is built by the council there’s always someone moaning about how it’s taking money away from the NHS. The Contemporary Arts Centre, the proposed Broadmarsh refurb, even the city logo. Okay, so the logo’s shit, but how can you dog the Contemporary Arts Centre? If there’s anything this city needs, it’s more chav-free zones.

Nothing has been the target of more crotchety pooh-poohing than the new Market Square.

I love it! The stones, the fountain (when it’s working), the benches - the whole minimalist beauty of it is wonderful. I’m not the only one either; it’s virtually impossible to find a spare spot to sit when it’s sunny.

A few weeks ago, I overheard some bald twat in an England top say, ‘How many millions of tax was spent on that bloody Square when you can’t get a bed up at Queen’s?’ I’m not sure what the two have to do with each other, but the fact that this guy looks about three smokes away from a pine box makes me think he may be a touch biased. Talking about taxation at all is a bit suspect considering that at two in the afternoon on a weekday, he doesn’t have anywhere else to be.

That being said, it still got me thinking; maybe he’s right. Maybe the Market Square is less important than the ailing health system. I’m from Canada, where we have the best medicare

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system in the world (so the government keeps telling us). Surely I would be the ideal candidate to test it out? So, in the interest of science, I decide to conduct my own research into the state of the NHS… I figure the best way to get sick would be to pound my guts with inordinate amounts of beer and curry for an entire weekend (I’ll do anything for science). Two days of that and I wake up with a weird burning pain in my upper abdomen. Result! My first move is to consult the internet. Being a massive cyberchondriac, the web is my first port of call for any ache or pain. I punch my symptoms into www.webmd. com, convinced that I have an ulcer, stomach cancer and appendicitis. Off to the walk-in clinic, where I am diagnosed with indigestion at the counter. Gosh, maybe that yob was right, maybe the NHS is in trouble? Only old fat guys get indigestion. I am far too young and svelte to be bothered by something so common.

After waiting about half the time I usually have to wait back home, I am seen to. The nurse takes my blood pressure, pushes down on my stomach and confirms the first nurses’ diagnosis of indigestion; drink some Gaviscon and if it doesn’t get better go talk to a GP.

clinic) and again he takes my blood pressure.

I’m not sure what blood pressure has to do with indigestion, but every country has their own ways of doing things Back home, the doctors always want to get their hands on your balls: ‘But it’s only a sore throat, Doc.’ ‘Yes, I understand that, but how are your balls, fella? Have you got lumpy balls?’

A week later, it’s much worse. It’s got to be stomach cancer now - no indigestion lasts a whole week, surely? Dismantle the Market Square and hire some proper doctors immediately! These quacks don’t have a flipping clue what they’re doing! I go to my local GP (and wait even less time than at the walk-in

It’s even worse when you get older. After you turn forty, they want to jam cameras up your ass on a yearly basis. I will take a blood pressure check over that any day of the week.

Hell, I’d take prostate cancer over that. A few more stomach pushes and he declares that I have an inflamed esophagus due to (you

guessed it) severe indigestion. He gives me a prescription that costs next to nothing and tells me to lay off the booze for a couple of weeks.

I’m taking the pills now and feel loads better.

So, I’m not dying. It’s just that, at 32, I am not the young Adonis I thought I was. I’m not sure that’s any less depressing, but dying or no, the NHS seems to be working just fine.

Turns out bald twats in England tops talk a lot of shit. Who knew, eh? More frivolous Arts/ Architecture/logo spending, please!

Read more from Rob on www.canuckistani.com

Rock On Jimmy! words: Paul Smith and Mark Stevenson

Jimmy Sirrel is undoubtedly the greatest manager in the history of Notts County Football Club. His witty manner and sharp tongue often left reporters and supporters alike laughing in his company.

One classic quip immediately upon his appointment was: ‘Ask any kid what he knows about Notts County and he’ll tell you they’re the oldest football team in the world. By the time I’ve finished he’ll know a lot more.’ Cited as the major managerial influence on Manchester United’s Alex Ferguson, Jimmy arrived in November of 1969 and over the next decade transformed the magpies fortunes, almost to the point of overshadowing that other manager over the river Brian Clough. In 1993 the newly redeveloped County Road Stand at Meadow Lane was renamed the Jimmy Sirrel Stand in his honour. We managed to grab a few words with the great man at his home in Burton Joyce…

Who did you regard as your best ever signing for Notts County?

I couldn’t just give you one player. If you go through them, you’ll find lots of players, Raddy Avramovic, Iain McCulloch and little John Chiedozie… they could all play.

What about the most influential?

Well football is a matter of opinion and in my opinion the goalkeeper is the number one man in your team. You start with a point and if he doesn’t lose a goal you get that and if you score one you’ve won. So possibly Raddy Avramovic.

As a Scotsman you seem to have adopted the City of Nottingham as home…

Well I’ve lived here since I came to Notts County and I enjoy living in Burton Joyce. Me, the wife and the children have enjoyed a good living here. Unfortunately my wife’s no longer here, she died twenty years since.

When your wife Kathy was still with us where did you take her on a night out in Nottingham?

I don’t think we went out too much as a couple. In them days there were lots of association meetings with supporters clubs and the likes, so we socialised at them and spent the rest of the time at home. We enjoyed our life here.

How did you get on with Brian Clough back in the day?

Oh we were very friendly. He was a nice person, but a bit bombastic about his football. He seemed to be able to handle players successfully and was a tremendously successful manager for his time. Indeed, I was at his funeral.

What are your hopes for the future for Notts County?

I hope they are successful, and you say ‘How do they become successful?’ And you become successful from better players, so I hope they do well!

In a recent poll by Ladbrokes, Notts came out as the most depressing Club to support. Do you remember Meadow Lane as being a difficult place to win at during your reign?

I don’t think so. In 1970-71 we went through the season at home without losing a match. We won three promotions and you don’t do that by losing many games at home.

Do you wish you had managed in the modern game with the greater financial rewards and media attention?

No. There comes a time when you’re not wanted or aren’t good enough or don’t feel up to it. People talk a lot about the money footballers get, but they won’t be getting a fortune at Notts County nowadays. The big money doesn’t come to people in the fourth division or the non-league, it only comes to special players and clubs don’t pay large amounts of money for them unless they’re forced to.

What would you say is your all-time Notts eleven?

I can’t even begin to think about that! How many years was I here? How can I pick a team out of all those? When I start thinking, who was my goalkeeper, who was my full-back… I just can’t do it! You need to be a genius.

Some would say you were… (laughs) Well that’s their opinion, but some thought I should have been out of here a year before I was! That is how football goes.

How would you go about changing Notts’ fortunes nowadays?

I’ve no idea because I’m not working there so I don’t now the circumstances. Financially, is there any money to buy players?

How do you go about getting players? If you look at the young players that I got here, they were tremendous footballers but that took a lot of time working with the people in schools. Also, when I was here I was at football virtually every night of the week. On a Monday night when I wasn’t at a match, I had the young kiddies down to look over. The likes of Tommy Johnson

and the big centre-half Dean Yates were coming through then. I knew where they were and I had people finding them. You’ve got to be looking all the time. Somebody once said to Kathy: ‘Your Jimmy is never in,’ and she said: ‘Well you cannot cage a tiger!’

What do you feel is the key to a rise up the football leagues?

Winning football matches and nothing else. If you win football matches and you don’t lose many over a year, then you move into a higher division. Then when you get to a higher division like the Premiership now, your problems are relative. How much money you have, what are the gates like and is it bringing enough money in? At Chelsea and Manchester United, they’ve got people throwing clouds of money in, that’s why they are at the top!

How many Notts games do you go to these days?

I only go to the home games and only when I’m in the country.

This season has been a bit disappointing, but it’s important to come along and support your team.

Where do you see Notts in five years time?

I’ve no idea. Christ I might not be here in five years time and if so I won’t be able to go and see them will I? Not if they’ve boxed me in…

Any chance of a comeback as Notts manager?

No chance. I don’t have the enthusiasm or ability now to handle footballers, teach them and drive them and argue with them. I don’t have the ability to drive the motorcar from here to Motherwell for instance and back again to start training, which is all part of it. If you are the manager of the football club, you need to be lively and bright and teach them well or you are no good to them. But I don’t miss it because I’ve already lived it.

A podcast of this interview can be found on www.nottscounty-mad.co.uk www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

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On Her Majesty’s Service The Chief Executive of the Crime and Drugs Partnership for Nottingham, Alan Given, won awards from the Queen for his service to the Metropolitan police before taking on his current role. We’ve tracked him down after a year in post, during which crime has fallen and more people than ever are receiving support for drug problems. Armed with questions from the LeftLion forum crew and a very old skool dictaphone we went to find out what goes on behind the scenes… words: Jessica Troughton photos: Dom Henry So how did you get your job?

Well I was in the Metropolitan Police for 32 years and felt it was time to retire. This job became available and the challenge of the job appealed to me.

So do you enjoy your job?

I do, yes, I think this is a fantastic job. It was a nice step between doing something completely different but still within what I know. Working in partnership we can deal with a broader range of issues and get a better feel for what the public think is really important in their local areas.

How do you like Nottingham in general?

I’d heard differing opinions on Nottingham before I moved here, Some people hold the view that Nottingham is a violent place and not really going anywhere. But when I got here, I was really surprised how nice it was… and just basically fell in love with the place. I think a lot of the things people say are just old thinking, they’re not true now. It’s a young city and it brings lots of young problems, but that’s not going to be any different anywhere else. It’s vibrant and you just see from the skyline of building work that people really are investing in this city.

What do you think about the large number of students in Nottingham?

I think it’s great; students are the soul of Nottingham and bring a richness and diversity to the city. Of course the sheer volume of young people studying and living in the city raises its own issues but these are far outweighed by the benefits that the students bring.

As a civilian, exactly how far can you to defend yourself against crime? If someone runs off with your gear, are you allowed to smack them?

(Laughs) Well, you can take any reasonable action to defend yourself and your property. Say you’re out there with your friends and somebody attacks you, you can take any action to stop them.

But if you manage to stop them, hold them on the ground and decide ‘While I’m down here, I’m going to beat you to a pulp’ you’ve gone beyond self-defence. But if they continue to fight, you are allowed to fight back but again only using reasonable force.

Why do you think Nottingham, not Leicester, Derby or Birmingham, has such a reputation with gun crime?

Nottingham’s name being associated with gun crime is like a dog that’s given a bad name, that bad name tends to stick regardless.

In reality gun crime is not statistically higher in Nottingham than many major cities in the country, but the perception given by the national media sometimes is. In 2003 there were 52 discharges, when I say that I mean actual firing, of firearms. By last year that was down to 11. Unfortunately last year someone was killed and one death is a tragedy for all concerned. The efforts of Nottinghamshire Police in eradicating gun crime of any description are relentless. Nottingham isn’t and never should have been labelled the ‘Gun Crime Capital’.

Do you have any schemes that help people who are at risk of being drawn into crime?

We have many, some are targeted at people who are already engaged in the criminal justice system or on the fringes of criminal involvement. We have projects that work out in the community where young people are at most risk or under most pressure of becoming involved in crime and of course we have organisations like the youth service who work alongside young people on a daily basis. Our aim is to divert them away from crime, offer alternatives where they can have opportunities to learn skills, talents and gain self-respect, and give them choices.

What is done about the harder drugs scene that we don’t normally hear about?

We have a very vibrant and well-resourced drug unit. Drugs affect people in different ways and impact on a cross section of society. The drug services in Nottingham have to respond to all these needs, it isn’t a one size fits all. As well as offering treatment and support to those who have drug problems we also need to be dealing with the drug-dealers. Targeting the odd person with a little bit of cannabis is unhelpful and doesn’t bring crime down. Dealers aren’t stupid people, in response; the Police in Nottingham are constantly changing and improving their operations. The quality of the intelligence we use to catch dealers has improved over the years. If you’re dealing drugs in Nottingham there is a very good chance you’ll be caught.

What’s your opinion on prescribing heroin to drug addicts?

There are a small number of people in Nottingham currently being prescribed diamorphine (pharmaceutical heroin) and that decision would always be made by a consultant. The treatment offered to a dependent drug user often involves the prescription of substitute drugs to help stabilise and or detox the person.

Ultimately we aim to point people towards drug free lifestyles.

Drug treatment in Nottingham is set up to support users and family members at all stages of the person’s addiction and recovery. People who are drug addicts don’t necessarily want to be in the situation they find themselves in. It is our job to support them, overcoming a drug problem can be a complicated and often long process. Treatment is voluntary and the addict has to be willing to give up drugs and engage in treatment.

What do you think of the situation of overcrowded prisons?

The prison population has risen to over 80,000 which is the highest it’s ever been, but I’m not sure if building more prisons is the answer. We really need to look at the type of people in prison and be careful about how many young people we lock up. If you keep children out of crime by the time they are about twenty, the chances are they’ll have a crime-free life. If you have people committing crime from the age of twelve or thirteen they’re often caught up in the cycle of crime and prison until their late thirties.

That’s a big chunk of life that’s gone. We need to intervene early, and ask what is causing these problems and put in place the resources to support the youngster and their families Do you think schools should encourage kids to take on further education or vocational training to stop them getting into trouble?

Absolutely. Earning money and gaining independence is a healthy aspiration; people will always want nice clothes, holidays, cars etc. It’s our responsibility to give them the opportunity to train and earn money in a field they are interested in, because academic subjects don’t always suit everyone. It’s about empowering young people to make informed choices. www.nomoreknives.com www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

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Crawling from the primordial ooze of Nottingham and the North’s underground riff marshes, Pilgrim Fathers are not just a lovely bunch of lads, they’re also heavier than a monstertruck full of anvils. They’ll be unleashing their musical beast live for us at LeftLion Presents on Saturday 2 June down at the Orange Tree, so we asked main man Shelf to tell us what they’re all about.

Who plays what in the band?

I sing and do some other stuff. Feg plays guitar. Dan makes cosmic sound. Kev plays on the drums, Steve is a casual bassist.

Tell us about the other stuff you’ve all been involved in.

I was in a band called 3Stages Of Pain with Feg and Steve.

Dan was making hiphop (he used to be called Zero Theory and produce for Cappo) and Kev was singing in a black metal band and playing drums with various bands in Doncaster. We’ve started making film soundtracks and Dan still does his own stuff.

Also, I’m in a Kyuss tribute band with Kev our drummer.

Why did you call yourselves the Pilgrim Fathers?

Because it sounds good.

Who are the Pilgrim Sons?

The Pilgrim Sons started because Will from I’m Not From London asked if we’d like to play some acoustic songs in a cave and we said yes. I play drums and sing, Feg plays guitar. We got a bit carried away and now we’re planning all kinds of improvised acoustic stuff with loads of different bands. Recording in woods and churches and stuff.

You describe your sound as ‘music for astronauts to die to’.

What’s that all about?

Music for birds to fly to. Music for mothers to cry to. Music for

astronauts to die to. It’s something to do with space being big and death being big and music being big.

What’s your favourite of your own tracks?

Not sure about that. Maybe Ultimate Attack Helicopters but we’re working on one called Fist Full of Bags Full of Riffs which is by far the best song I have ever heard.

What’s your favourite track of all time?

Anything by Bronski Beat or Fine Young Cannibals.

What are your favourite cities and venues to play?

Nottingham is always good because your mates are always kicking about for a drink and a lark. Anywhere can be fun though. Brighton’s nice. It’s got a pier and seaside.

If you could get anyone in to play with you, who would you choose?

God. Who are the best upcoming artists we should check out?

Swimming, Hellset Orchestra, Bonsai Projects, Comets On Fire.

There’s just tons and tons of amazing bands at the moment. Just avoid T4 and telly and you’ll have a good chance of finding some quality music.

What can people expect from the LeftLion Presents gig?

Lazers, flying, food fights, spinning plates, dancing mice, a cape made out of snakes. Rock and roll too. I might swear.

Describe your average day...

I get up when the sun rises, do a spot of gardening then ride my bicycle to the bakery where I greet the village baker and collect my freshly made bread. After breakfast I take a stroll through the park and feed the squirrels and the birds and then just go from place to place doing good and helping others really.

What was the last album that you bought?

A Credence album and Rancid Hell Spawn’s Gas Mask Love… for real.

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

I can’t say. I might end up in prison.

What was the last thing that made you cry?

I have never cried.

The Pilgrim Fathers play LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree on Saturday 2 June. www.myspace.com/thepilgrimfathers

When Captain Dangerous won the public vote to support The Magic Numbers at the opening of the new Market Square they were still an unknown quantity to a lot of Notts heads. But after spending the last year and a half bouncing up and down the country wowing crowds with their explosively catchy melodies and classic English storytelling, the Dangerous boys have acquired more virtual mates than you can shake a stick at. If you missed their slab square set piece, you can catch them headlining LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree on Saturday 7 July.

We met up with frontman Adam Clarkson for a quick ‘aye aye’. words: Glen Parver How did you get so many friends on MySpace (almost 33,000 at last count)?

It just exploded, I guess people like our tunes, plus we actually talk to people rather than sending out big fat advertisements.

That’s just crap, if people like what you do it’s only polite to talk to them.

How did you feel about winning the competition to play in the Market Square?

It was a great feeling because it was a public vote, it’s just a shame we got a bit of a backlash from a few other Nottingham bands. We should be all pulling together in this city to create a decent musical environment. We’re all trying to do the same thing after all. But yeah, it was a brilliant day.

Captain Dangerous sounds like some sort of superhero.

Who would his nemesis be?

The origin of the name is a secret but it’s definitely not a superhero thing. My own personal nemeses would be The Borrowers. They don’t ‘borrow’ anything: they steal. To show kids The Borrowers encourages stealing. ‘Oh I think I’ll ‘borrow’ this toilet roll and not give it back’ That’s stealing!

Who are the best upcoming artists we should check out?

We Show Up On Radar - I love them.

Describe your average day... (laughs) Get up, go to the label office, go on MySpace, if I’m short of cash do a bit of temping, play a bit of music, maybe do an interview and then maybe go for a few pints. I really enjoy what I’m doing at he moment.

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

A story in the Metro about a woman doing an erotic dance with a loaded shotgun and accidentally shooting her husband.

Fucking horrible, although the humour comes from her in court being made to re-enact what happened with a broom. Priceless!

What was the last thing that made you cry?

A couple of Mondays ago I was missing people close to me and had just had a boozy weekend and smoked too much, so the self loathing kicked in.

What can people expect from the show for LeftLion?

You can expect a Cure and Pulp sandwich with Hefner pickles and some Clash sauce. Oh, and a hard drummer who plays double pedal.

What else is coming up for you over the next year?

The first single, You Could Be My, is out on 1 July and you can pre-order it now via text. If you text ‘Captain’ to 82822 you get the single and b-side and if you text ‘Dangerous’ you get the single and video. Each text is £1.50. Also we’ll be touring and we’re booked into Abbey Road to record the album.

Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers?

Listen to more Black Sabbath, steam your vegetables and listen to Captain Dangerous.

Captain Dangerous and Geezer Safari play LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree on Saturday 7 July. www.captaindangerous.com

What are your favourite hangouts in Nottingham?

Junktion 7, the Speakeasy. I’m coming round to liking the Social now, it’s not too bad once you get past the bad haircuts and polyester golf jumpers.

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Secret Stealth Nottingham residents and music creators Bob Sadler (Fug) and Jim Baron (Crazy P) are the musical duo behind Secret Stealth.

Perhaps better known for other projects, Mince & Onions is their new long play release on the Bocajito label. Spreading its light heartedness across the city, this summer sounding album mixes up a cocktail of Soul and Disco with a twist of House and splash of Ragga. The project has developed with the help of vocalists Holly Backler (Crazy P), Tom Bailey (Neon Heights) and Katty Heath (Bent and Spotlight Kid). We met up with Secret Stealth in the Broadway café bar to unpick their musical fusion.

If I were to walk into a record shop which section would I find your music in?

Bob: In the bargain basement or the quid bin!

Jim: Nice! That’s a good next album title, “Life in the quid bin!”…

It would be under nu soul disco funk fusion.

Bob: It has to have especially wide racks for the genre title.

Jim: …or Urban Mythology would be a good one. Imagine if you had music that instilled urban mythology. That would be good wouldn’t it?

Why are you called Secret Stealth?

Bob: We were both doing our own music, got drunk on wine and thought we should really make some music and not tell anyone, hence, secret, stealth. We were going to the studio secretly but got so excited about what we made we showed everyone after the first afternoon!

What is it that makes you create music?

Jim: I’ve grown up making music. I have moods if the Feng Shui isn’t right in the studio.

Bob: If I don’t’ go to the studio, I get real grumpy. I have a need to make music. I have a need to be creative.

Is there a part of you that gets left behind in the music?

Bob: Yeah we definitely leave our imprint on it. In the music you can hear a fusion of our ideas, otherwise it wouldn’t sound that way.

How do you find being creative individuals in the UK? Bob: Skint.

Jim: It’s quite difficult. Music is a changing environment in the way that people are buying it. Once we get our heads round it, we’ll be okay. This project is a small level operation and the plan is not to lose any money.

Bob: This is one of the reasons for living in Nottingham. We can afford to pursue our passion in making music and running the label without having the massive overheads you’ll have living somwhere like London.

Jim: It’s a good place to make music. There are loads of people doing it here.

How do you find the challenge of having bands close to you such as Neon Heights and Bent, doing the same thing?

Bob: Completely positive. We are all very helpful to each other.

Tom Bailey who we work with used to do backing vocals for Crazy P. I’ve worked with Cal from Neon Heights and am mixing a project written by Jim and Tony Global. All the same people are working together on different projects. It seems to be very healthy.

Jim: I don’t think there is anyone doing the same thing, everybody is reaching out to a different area. There isn’t any direct competition but definitely a bit of friendly rivalry.

What are you listening to at the moment?

Jim: The new Little Barrie album is wicked! He’s a Notts lad. I’ve got a really good cover version of Hey Joe by Amp Fiddler, an old Detroit guy who is top! I’ve been rediscovering Donny Hathaway, its tear jerking stuff, beautiful, it’s all about the voice.

Bob: I went to the states at Christmas and bought a whole load of second hand disco, soul and funk records.

What is your top music label?

Jim: It’s got to be Motown for the idea of it first of all then later on the fact that their artists got so famous it changed music.

Stevie Wonder was more powerful than Gaudy the label owner, so he couldn’t say no to releasing his albums. That allowed all the musicians to become free in what they were doing.

What in your musical careers has made you most proud?

Bob: Secret Stealth has involved my first ever live gig.

Jim: Crazy P got booked for Glastonbury last week, which is my most recent very proud moment. Secret Stealth are also gigging at Love Box festival and Big Chill Festival this year.

If you could do a sound track for a film, what would you choose?

Bob: Spaghetti Westerns are always high on the list, or anything

by Terry Gilliam.

Jim: I’d like to do something on a David Lynch film. Talk about a blank canvas…

words: Amanda Young photo: www.algreerimaging.co.uk When I listen to your new album what can I expect?

Jim: A bit of everything is on there. It’s all around, up and down, side to side. There are no restrictions.

How do you make your music?

Bob: It starts with the two of us and maybe a sample or musical idea.

Jim: Bob is on the knobs, as sound engineer, the mixing desk is his instrument. I sit and look out the window and play stuff whilst he makes it sound amazing.

Bob: Jim is a multi instrumentalist; he can play all the trombones, keys, guitar bass and percussion all in the studio.

Jim: Then we get the live band like John Thompson on bass and Long on percussion and harmonica. Then we get some vocals and flesh it out for the finished product.

Where is the photo taken on the cover of the album?

Bob: It’s us in Chris’s Café on North Gate just round the corner from my front door. We went round with a plate of mince and onions and he let us do the photo shoot with photographer Alicia Clarke.

Why is it called Mince & Onions?

Jim: My nickname is Jimmy the Mince and I started calling Bob Onions. It was a private joke that got out of hand.

Who are you releasing it with?

Bob: It’s released on a label called Bocajito, which is our own label run by myself, Cal, Jim and Tom. We set it up to release Yap Zeeland, Secret Stealth, Neon Heights and local bods within the family. We make the music and are prepared to invest our money into it and people can pick it up from us. It is a way of marketing directly to people who are interested in our music.

Where can I get a copy?

Bob: You can get it in HMV or other music shops and on our own website for £9.99. Selling it online has made a massive difference to getting our music out to those who want it across the world.

Secret Stealth play at the Big Chill festival and other venues near you this summer. www.myspace.com/secretstealth www.bocajito.com

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words: Amanda Young James Last has been releasing music since 1965, developing a huge discography of Big Band music spanning four decades. Signed to Polydor records in 1964 he has been awarded over 300 silver, platinum and gold awards.

Born in 1929 as Hansi Last, he has toured extensively across the world selling well over 100 million albums. Now 77 years old James Last is planning his final UK tour this year. The James Last Orchestra have played everything from the Rocky theme tune, to Bob Dylan and Nirvana songs as well as featuring in the soundtrack to Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill Vol 1.

If you fancy hearing more, you’re sure to find his lively and relaxing records in any vintage or charity shop.

Where did you start out in music?

It started when the first piano teacher I had said I would be nothing in the music scene. Then the second teacher was like a father to me and since then it started really going up, getting more and more.

Do you have a particular approach when you choose which songs you would like to arrange?

I have to like it. I have to like to hear the songs on stage even more than on the record sometimes.

I decide we are playing this song and this song… when I go on tour I just play songs that I like to play.

When you tour who do you take with you?

Eighty people altogether, including an orchestra of thirty-eight or forty people and forty technicians for the stage and lighting. It is a big party.

What can people take from listening to your music?

There is some old stuff for older people, songs from thirty or forty years ago and new arrangements like U2 for younger people.

How do you feel about working with younger people around you?

I like young people. The experiences from them are so positive and that is what I need. I’ve had

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so many experiences from younger musicians, which really keeps me alive. I like to go with them and work with some special groups.

Who are the young groups you work with?

Most of the time they are German groups, rap and rock groups or hiphop like Fettes Brot and so on. They ask me if they can do something together and I think yes let’s do it.

How did you find playing with the hiphop group Fettes Brot?

I didn’t find them, they found me! I took them on tour in the UK and people didn’t understand one word of them of course. But it was all fun.

It was great to show them the world and how many people can be there to enjoy the music.

The audience accepted that I was playing with the young guys. So it was a great gift.

You’ve had some of the best session musicians play for you over the years…

It’s the band, it’s our band. There is the trumpet section with two trumpet players from the States, one, who is the best trumpet player in America.

We’ve got the best sax player too… and we picked up an old musician guy from London who now lives in Australia so there are seventeen nationalities in the band. Romanians, Russians, everything...

Would you ever cover something unreleased?

Of course. There are some songs that a lot of people don’t know. I like them and they fit into the programme. We play around thirty songs a night, so we put it together and then play.

What wouldn’t you consider arranging?

I really don’t know, sometimes people come and say listen to this and then it rings in my brain … then it works more and more. I like it and then we play it. I cover everything; you know whether it is like Timbaland or so on. I have to play what fits to me and other musicians.

What do you think of today’s music often using machines to produce sounds electronically?

That is the time now, young people work with this, but then they always come back to instruments and then use them to work together. We have two synthesisers in the band and we need the sound of the young people too.

We need it; we can’t go on stage without them.

We have six violins in the orchestra and these fit together very well. Young people like to work on the computer, I do my arrangements on the computer too.

What programme do you use?

Cubase.

Big bands always played at music halls and ballrooms. As time has moved on, where is the place for big bands now?

Don’t ask me that. There are so many people in the band so we need really big halls in Nottingham I’m playing the arena, you must come.

I hear you were a former Jazz musician, what did you play?

I’m coming from classical music and used to play piano. I started to learn about composing from the age of fourteen and my parents sent me to Music Academy. I loved to play bass in jazz bands.

Before you made a name for yourself, what were you up to?

I did arrangements for some German artists and international artists from America. I was working on a radio station for ten years and then said to myself I can’t go on for another thirty years, so I went to a record company and asked if I can do something. They asked for an idea so I said ‘Dancing Music for the older generation’.

Young people then realised that old people were dancing to their songs.

When and where did you last play Nottingham?

It was at a nice theatre in Nottingham, a few years ago. The Royal Centre for 2500 or so people. It was really lovely.

Where are you living at the moment?

Most of the time in America, in Florida How do you think your easy listening music has had an impact on today’s chill-out and lounge music?

I cannot say. What exists even in rock’n’roll, I do not know. Where the beginning of one genre is and end of the next is a mystery.

Now in the winter of your life, what have you got planned?

To go on. When you study music questions arise like why one note is there, why it sounds like that, why this, why that… it is never finished.

Some people say go on vacation, but on vacation I hear some songs and start to think about it. I like what I am doing you see.

What do you spend your time doing when you are not making music?

I play golf.

How does Easy Listening affect the audience and the atmosphere?

Watching the faces and bodies of the people, they are happy. I feel I make them better, like the Pope.

James Last is the Pope?

No I am not… I just feel like it sometimes.

Anything else you want to say to the LeftLion readers?

Just tell the people to listen to music. It is sometimes better than any medicine you can take. It makes you relax if you listen to it. Maybe that is the good thing for Easy Listening. After a hard day at work put a record on and relax. Music is a good head for the mentality of the people.

James Lasts Orchestra plays Nottingham Arena on Thursday 20 September 2007. www.jameslast.com

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Janette Parris

The Breakout Tour Free Live Gig, Rock City 5pm, 3rd June 2007 Exhibition: 25 May - 14 July 2007 Angel Row Gallery, Nottingham www.angelrowgallery.com

Image: Janette Parris, The Breakout Tour, 2007

577 Mansfield Road • Sherwood • Nottingham

Growing up with a famous dad isn’t easy. Ziggy Marley is the oldest son of Bob and Rita Marley and nowadays the keeper of the Marley estate.

He was taught to play drums and guitar by the legendary reggae master at a young age and despite being baptised as David, it’s the nickname Bob gave him (meaning ‘big spliff’) that stuck. Ziggy’s first releases were with the band The Melody Makers, which also featured four of his other siblings. But since then he’s struck out on his own and recently released his second solo album Love Is My Religion… words: Jared Wilson photo: Wonder Knack

Tell us about Love Is My Religion…

I think it’s a good piece of art. The title itself tells you about what I believe; the whole philosophy of it is about love. There are a couple of songs on it that veer towards a more political viewpoint, but basically it is all about exploring the human emotional side of life.

How does it compare to your previous album Dragonfly?

Dragonfly was a much more revolutionary album for me. It was much wider in its musical style and this is more tightly knitted together. It’s still quite free-flowing in terms of it’s influences, but I would say that the basics are very tight.

You won a Grammy Award for this album in America…

Yes. This is my fourth Grammy, but my first as a solo artist. The greatest thing about winning it is getting more promotion for the message. It was worth winning it for the statement Love Is My Religion to be mentioned everywhere.

You’re a Rastafarian. How much of a part does religion play in your everyday life?

None really. I don’t see being a Rastafarian as a religion. In the mainstream way of thinking this is a hard thing to grasp because people naturally want to label things and put them into boxes so that they can understand them easier. But Rastafarianism is a freethinking way of life. The basic premise is love. Basically being a Rastafarian means quite simply to love. I speak from my own mind and my own heart. This is not a thing that is written in a book somewhere that I have to follow. We have no manual and really everyone is a Rastafarian whether we realise it or not.

So what’s an average day in the life of Ziggy Marley like then…?

Haha! Ziggy don’t have average days man! But when I’m not touring or working on the music I wake up, go for a run, make some cornmeal porridge, drink lots of water, play some football and watch some TV. I watch a lot of news, I like to keep informed about what’s going on. I’ll read some magazines, play some music and watch some movies.

You did some voice-over work in the Disney film A Shark’s Tale. Was that fun?

Yeah it was fun! I did that song with Sean Paul for that film as well… it’s always fun working with other musicians. I enjoyed it all very much. It was something new for me and I always like to try new things. It helps you to grow as a person. But I’m looking

at writing films now. I’m trying to teach myself how to write movies.

Anyone else you’d particularly like to collaborate on music with?

Not so long ago I did a song with Angelique Kidjo. She has a new album called Djin Djin and I’ve done a track called Sedjedo on it. She’s someone I’ve loved and respected for many years and also worked with Peter Gabriel, Joss Stone, Alicia Keys and Carlos Santana on the album. It’s going to be well worth checking out.

Are you still in touch with your old band The Melody Makers?

Yes. I spoke to some of them on the phone only yesterday.

Do you think you’ll ever get back together and play with them again?

Well, we’re talking about getting all the brothers together to form a new band. What we’d like to do is get a band together with the seven sons of Bob Marley in it. That might be interesting.

I guess everybody always asks about your father. I don’t want to dwell on it too much, but you must be really proud of the legacy he left behind…

I’m so happy. I give thanks to my father every day. He has done so much for me and so much for music. He did great work and to me he’s the greatest.

Is it ever weird to think how many young people nowadays have posters of your father on their bedroom walls?

It’s not weird for me. I accept it and am used to it. I see it and I’m just thankful. But my father is my father… he’s my blood. I don’t know how it would be any other way.

Have you ever been to Nottingham before?

No, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ve heard of Robin Hood before at least…

What was the last album you bought?

I bought American Idiot by Green Day recently. I like creativity and I bought it because of the song of the same name. What a cool song - I really like what he says on that. I’m not closed minded at all when it comes to music. My ear is very wide…

You seem quite politically motivated and aware. What do you think to the state of America at the moment?

I think that leadership is lacking. They lack diplomacy and don’t listen to other people enough. Our government are very closed minded about what they want to do and not very respectful of other opinions. When you are a leader you have to be openminded and listen to others. You need to take the truth and not just go off on your own personal ideologies. America is a great country and I think under the right guidance people all over the world could love America and we could do a lot of good in the world. But the way our government goes about doing certain things creates problems.

What was the last book you read?

Chasing Life, by a guy called Doctor Sanjay Gupta. I buy a lot of books about health and nutrition and he writes plenty of good ones.

What was the last thing that made you laugh.

I think I’ve laughed several times in this interview. I was laughing to myself thinking about getting the seven brothers together in a band.

What was the last thing that made you cry?

It’s been a while since I cried. The state of the world makes me sad generally and I am quite emotional, but I just don’t physically cry that often. It doesn’t come out in tears, but I feel it inside.

You’re quite into your football so I hear…

Yeah I love a bit of football. I don’t have a favourite team, but I like watching the big teams play. I’ve seen a lot of Liverpool games recently and I love watching Peter Crouch. He’s the boy - very entertaining to watch. It will be interesting to see David Beckham in LA next season. It should be good for the game. I tell you at the moment it’s hard to find a game around here. I love having a good kickaround and it upsets me when I can’t find anyone to play with.

Anything else you’d like to say to our readers?

Love. Love is the message…

Ziggy Marley plays at Rock City on Tuesday 26 June 2007. www.ziggymarley.com www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

17

A Different Drum Mat Andasun is a multi-instrumentalist performer and composer with a fascination for Brazilian drums. Indeed his samba flavour would not seem out of place on the beaches of Rio De Janero, which makes it even more surprising when you realise that many of his songs are about Nottingham. He’s even done a song about the Xylophone Man… words: Glen Parver Where did you start out in music?

Drumming on Tupperware, moving onto a snare wedged into a wastepaper bin. From there it was a short hop to drumming with progressive rock icons Pendragon. Then I decided to take up guitar and singing as there wasn’t as much stuff to carry around.

Who plays what in your band?

I sing, play guitar and fiddle around on bits of percussion. Dave Sturt plays bass and manipulates samples on his laptop. Jeff Davenport plays drums and also does a bit of triggering). Richard Sliwa is the proper percussionist. When I can afford it, Ben Martin comes in to play sax, Bosco de Oliveira joins Rich on percussion and I have a rotating party of keyboard players which includes amongst others local whiz, Nick Daines and jazz star Steve Lodder.

You were a member of Nottingham School of Samba. How did that help you become what you are today?

A founder member I’ll have you know. Hearing Samba for the first time was an incredible experience, totally overwhelmingly wonderful. Samba has this effect on some people. They ditch their jobs, leave their wives and take up wearing dubious tie-die clothing - that sort of thing. Needless to say, it had a profound impact on my listening, playing and writing.

Tell us about your Nottingham Songs EP… Well, I’ve made two EPs, Monomania in 1999 and Nottingham Songs in 2005. Not exactly a prolific output I admit, but then I’ve had a family to raise. They will be followed later this year with a full length CD, inventively entitled Nottingham Songs Part 2.

I wanted to write about Nottingham because I think that it’s interesting to write about where you live and what’s around you.

What are your favourite cities and venues to play?

I once did a cracking gig supporting Marilllion in a 2000 seater

in Utrecht. I was excited and only seventeen at the time. So that would have to be my favourite venue, though I must say it’s a doomed relationship, I’m unlikely ever to play there again. My favourite city has to be Nottingham as I’ve played so many great gigs here at different times of my life. Though Wirksworth and Belper also bring back happy memories for me. What a globetrotter!

If you could get anyone in to play with you, who would you choose?

Blimey! It sounds hideously embarrassing to say so (you’re not supposed to like him) but I’d love to drum alongside Phil Collins.

I’m a big Genesis fan (1970s of course) and he’s a fantastic drummer.

What can people expect from the LeftLion Unplugged show?

A long shank of musical rope, coiled with Brazilian beats and seductive songs that will reel them in.

What’s coming up for you over the next year?

Lots of writing and recording, more desperate attempts to get gigs and an early years music project teaching under-fives how to use samplers. I’m also going to run the Robin Hood Marathon… or at least attempt to.

Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers?

Visit my website and seriously consider liking my music. Or even buying it.

Mat Andasun plays LeftLion Unplugged at the Malt Cross on Tuesday 17 July. www.matandasun.com.

debut cd “volume one” summer 2007 - limited edition free copies: nuclear.family@gmail.com

www.myspace.com/nukefam 18

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The K Sometime LeftLion Radio host and full-time Prince of the New Wave, The K fronted local heroes The Dum-Dums back in the day before teaming up with These Animal Men to form Mo Solid Gold. He’s done every festival going - Glastonbury, Leeds, Reading, South by South West, Rock Am Ring (Germany) and Fuji Rock (Japan), to name but a few.

How did you get all those festival gigs?

Our agent, darling!

What are your favourite festival experiences?

1) Blagging my mate a full-on Sunday lunch in the hospitality tent at Glastonbury and then discovering a West Indian food stall two hours later and killing the fuck out of some Ital Vital at the one Glastonbury in ages that it hadn’t rained at.

2) Walking through a hotel lobby at silly o’ clock and being recognised by about twenty Japanese girls who went mental and ran off to get their cameras.

3) Convincing our organist that it wasn’t a good idea to burst Muse’s giant white balloons that they were hiding in a tent backstage in preparation for the finale of their set.

4) Slowly realising that there was no litter on the ground at FujiRock. None at all. They put it in the bins.

5) Walking out onto the stage at Glastonbury with my best mate since junior school at the front and the two of us thinking ‘How in the blue fuck did two negroes from Hyson Green get here?’

6) Liberating Travis of their beer, backstage at FujiRock.

What would you remind LeftLion readers to take with them to the festival?

Anti-plop pills. These are totally necessary if you have to mix with the ‘humans’ and don’t have access to the backstage facilities. The whole time I was at Glastonbury (about thirty hours) I didn’t poo. As soon as I got back to civilization blaow!

So take them chemical corks, kids!

Anything else you want to say?

Stay Black! Fight The Power! I’m The K, goddamit!

Rock Ness

The Summer Festival season is here! It’s time to get out the wellies and suncream, buy overpriced beer in paper cups and spill it all jiving your ass off in a field with a jesters hat on. LeftLion takes a look at some of the major music festivals in the UK this year and talks to some Nottingham-based acts who will be playing at them.

Beatherder Festival

The Ribble Valley, Lancashire 29 June-1 July Acts include: Dreadzone, Utah Saints, Andy Weatherall, Secret Stealth, Grain and Skinny Sumo.

Tickets: £40 (includes camping) www.beatherder.co.uk

Loch Ness, Dores, Inverness 9-10 June Acts include: The Chemical Brothers, Groove Armada, Manic Street Preachers, Daft Punk, Kelis and The Charlatans Tickets: £100 (inc camping), £45 (day) www.rockness.co.uk

Leeds/ Reading Carling Weekend

24-26 August Acts include: The Smashing Pumpkins, Razorlight, Red Hot Chili Peppers, NIN, Kings of Leon and Late of the Pier.

Tickets: www.leedsfestival.com www.readingfestival.com

Download 2007

Donnington Park, Derbyshire 8-10 June Acts include: My Chemical Romance, Iron Maiden, Linkin Park, Korn, Marilyn Manson and I Was A Cub Scout.

Tickets: £145 (weekend) £60 (day) www.downloadfestival.co.uk

Latitude Festival

Suffolk 12-15 July Acts include: Arcade Fire, The Good The Bad and The Queen, Jarvis Cocker, Damien Rice, Stuart Lee and Wilco.

Tickets: £112 (camping) £45 (day ticket) www.latitudefestival.co.uk

V Festival

Global Gathering

words: Jared Wilson illustration: Dave Reason The Big Chill

Malvern Hills, Herefordshire 3-5 August Acts include: Kruder and Dorfmeister, The Cinematic Orchestra, Mika, Isaac Hayes, The Blockheads, Secret Stealth and Crazy P. Tickets: £125 www.bigchill.net

Pete Jordan

Hylands Park, Chelmsford, Staffordshire 18-19 August Acts include: The Killers, Kasabian, Foo Fighters, Snow Patrol, Pink, Basement Jaxx and Damien Rice.

Tickets: £130 (weekend) £62.50 (day) www.vfestival.com

Long Marston Airfield, Stratford-Upon-Avon 27-28 July Acts include: Faithless, Basement Jaxx, Paul Van Dyk, Carl Cox, Calvin Harris, Roger Sanchez and Pete Jordan.

Tickets: £105 (weekend), £57.50 (Saturday only) www.globalgathering.co.uk

O2 Wireless Music Festival

14-17 June Hyde Park, London and Harewood House, Leeds Acts include: The White Stripes, Faithless, Daft Punk, Kaiser Chiefs, Queens of the Stone Age and Air. Tickets: £135 (4 day), £40 (day ticket) www.wirelessfestival.co.uk

Glastonbury

Worthy Farm, Shepton Mallet, Somerset 22-24 June Acts include: Arctic Monkeys, Bloc Party, Kasabian, Kaiser Chiefs, The Who, Pete Doherty and The Stiff Kittens.

Tickets: £145 (sold out) www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk

Human Zoo Bestival

Robin Hill Country Park, Newport, Isle of Wight 7-9 September Acts include: Beastie Boys, The Chemical Brothers, Primal Scream, Gossip and Francois K. Tickets: £115 (sold out) www.bestival.net

Secret Venue, Suffolk 10-12 August Acts include: DJ Yoda, Coldcut, Pendulum, Scratch Perverts, Shy FX, Evil Nine, Transit Mafia and Pete Jordan.

Tickets: £90 (weekend) www.myspace.com/ humanzooevents

LeftLion will be running a competition to win two weekend tickets to the Beatherder Festival on LeftLion.co.uk in early June.

Check the website and forum then for more details.

Spectrum founder and Breaks DJ Pete Jordan is a Glastonbury veteran, having played there in 2004. As well as running all the Spectrum gigs in Nottingham and beyond he’s involved in organising a brand new festival this year and has been booked to play at several others…

What festivals can we catch you at this year?

I’m playing on the Global Stage at Global Gathering in July. Rotor Festival in Slovakia in June and I have a nine week run of weekly Spectrum beach events at Lake Balaton in Hungary. Most significantly I’m curating a new festival called Human Zoo in Suffolk on August 10-12 where Spectrum have an arena and lots of Nottingham acts will be playing.

You played at Glastonbury in 2004. How did that come about?

I was phoned up and asked to play on the Glade stage in 2004. I stayed until the Saturday. The weather was a bit up and down that year so the usual mud bath ensued, but as ever I am insistent on trying to see as many acts as possible usually ending up with too much walking and not enough partying.

What are your favourite festival experiences?

Sziget Festival in Hungary is a festival that everybody should try and visit once in their lifetime. On an island in the middle of the River Danube, it costs about £5 a day and last about nine days.

What things would you remind LeftLion readers to take to the festival with them and why?

A lock for your tents. It astounds me how many people have their possessions stolen at festivals.

Anything else you want to say?

Most festivals are full of people who don’t really know why they are there and have stopped a real music lover getting a ticket for the event. www.spectrum48k.com

Skinny Sumo Skinny Sumo have been together for seven years after meeting at college in Notts and winning a battle of the bands. Since then their music has taken them as far afield as Glastonbury Festival, The Abbey Road studios and Birmingham NEC. The lineup has changed over the years, but the core members Sharkboi (drums), 10 Bears (bass) and Baron D (vocals) remain. We put a few questions to Sharkboi…

I Was A Cub Scout I Was A Cub Scout are a relatively new Nottingham band doing big things despite the fact that they’re only just old enough to drink in a pub. The duo of Todd Marriot (vocals and guitars) and William Bowerman (drums) have been booked to play at both Download and the Leeds and Reading Festivals. We put a few questions to Todd about rocking out Donnington Park…

How did you get the Download gig?

I believe our beautiful booking agent spoke to the devil and he kindly got us on the bill.

You both looking forward to the weekend?

The two of us are really looking forward to it indeed. I imagine we’ll get shit tossed at us by some of the rockers as we’re not riff crazy or heavy. But we love a bit of Dragonforce all the same.

You been to Download before?

Yes, I went when I was thirteen. I enjoyed such delights as NOFX and Tool.

What are your favourite festival experiences so far?

To be honest there aren’t any that stand out as yet. So I hope to make many this time round.

What would you remind LeftLion readers to take with them to the festival?

Keep your eyes keen in case you meet your future wife and camp near a fence so you can piss without going into the awful public toilets.

Anything else you want to say?

Thankyou kindly. See you in the pit and also check out our next single, its probably better than The View. www.iwasacubscout.net

How did you get the Beatherder gig?

We played there last year and went down pretty well. We got booked through doing quite a lot of gigs in the area over the last few years.

Looking forward to the weekend?

Totally. There’s nothing better than playing at a festival, entertaining the crowed and then getting baked with them for the rest of the weekend (I mean the sun of course)!

Check out the Glade-style sound system in

the woods.

What are your favourite festival experiences?

It has to be Glastonbury 2003, when we performed on Friday evening on the Avalon Stage. That was a totally mind blowing experience. Also Sziget Festival in Budapest, Hungary. That was like a seven day Glastonbury - a bit like going on army training.

What items would you remind LeftLion readers to take to the festival with them?

Clothes, to keep you warm and make you feel grateful when you see the acid casualty, dancing naked near some stone circles or something. Lights, so you can spot Acid casualties in the dark. Smokes of any kind, fuck July the first.

Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers?

Yes come see us play! You can Catch us at Templars on Friday 8 June, The Maze on Friday 15 June (Featuring Mizz LSG), Junktion 7 on Tuesday 19 June, Beatherder

Stiff Kittens Miss Chief and Kitty Kate (aka Sonia and Kate) are the Stiff Kittens. As well as becoming resident DJs for LeftLion nights at the Orange Tree, they’ve also been booked in to play at this year’s Glastonbury festival. You go girls!

How did you get the Glastonbury gig?

Sonia: I got on a mission at Christmas and eventually found an email address, so I sent them a quick note. We eventually got a mail back saying they had actually heard me play before, at The Que Club, in Birmingham. So we sent a mix CD to them and two days later I got an email saying consider yourselves booked. I ran around the house shouting!

Kate: Yeah! Lots of dancing and lots of shouting...and then mild panic!

Have you been to Glastonbury before?

Sonia: I’ve been every year when they’ve been on apart from two since 1993. I

Festival and Global Village Peace Gathering in Lincolnshire on Friday 13 July. www.skinnysumo.org.uk

absolutely adore it! It’s like being in your own freak world for what seems like forever.

Kate: Yeah! I think I must have been to quite a few, though I cannot remember when it all started.

What are your favourite festival experiences?

Sonia: Meeting Bez in the diner at Lost Vagueness. This was just after my mates from Wolves decided to dance around naked, after too much loopy juice.

Kate: Cider leg and the delicate waft of stale urine.

What things would you remind LeftLion readers to take to the festival with them and why?

Kate: A boat.

Sonia: Yeah! We woke up in a river in 2005, a four foot deep river coming right through the middle of my tent. Thought I’d had too many mushrooms at first. www.myspace.com/stiffkittens1

14 July - 2 September Nottingham Castle Open: 10am - 5pm daily (last entry 4.30pm) Admission: Adults £3.50, Concessions £2 T: 0115 915 3700

www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/enjoy Hayward Touring from Southbank Centre, London on behalf of Arts Council England

22

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Travis Millard, Sally, 2004. C Travis Millard 2007. Courtesy the artist and Richard Heller Gallery, Los Angeles

Cult Fiction: Art and Comics

Rich Johnson Graphic Designer and Illustrator

Adam Wise Artist

Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-a-sketch and says to the bar man…

No, seriously look - the bloody thing predicts the future.

You can clearly see the four horses and…wait, it’s drawing something else…a…well, what looks like a…pint.

What’s your creative niche?

I’d never want to be confined to any one space. However, illustration tends to be my most dominant discipline.

Most influential artist? Alan Fletcher. To me he was the godfather of graphic design, showcasing all the attributes of what makes someone successful in their field. My eyes were only half open until I discovered his work.

Current activity: I’ve just completed some visuals for a Hollywood movie and am working on an illustration for the singer Emiliana Torrini. Also busy developing a community to support fellow conceptual artists and my first novel. The rest of the time I lecture.

How can we access your art? By visiting my websites. General graphic design and illustration work can be found through my official site and MySpace. Everything relating to my novel is over at erthchronicles.com.

Favourite art space in Nottingham? Broadway Cinema. I love how it’s maintained its independence and variety in supporting fellow creative people, as well as being the best cinema in the UK. Top tip for upcoming artists? Become an obsessive compulsive. You can sort the nervous twitch out later.

Favourite quote? Only the truly educated never graduate’.

What would you demonstrate against? Small talk and tracksuits.

You are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? Small talk and tracksuits.

Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-asketch and says to the bar man… Ay up me duck, is Opus upstairs?

What’s your creative niche? I remix nature by manipulating photographs of the environment, transforming them into highly colourful, unique desirable images.

Most influential artist? Gaudi fascinates me. His use of nature in his structures is really incredible.

Current activity: I’ve just finished an exhibition called The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test at the Alley Café. Then I have another show in collaboration with my father Ian Wise, at Mansfield Library from 29 May - 22 June.

Favourite art space in Nottingham? Rufford Country Park Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with?

A live VJ performance with Vaccine would be cool.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Speak to other artists and listen to their comments good and bad.

What happened to you today? Had a walk, took a few photos, dinner at Squeek then went out for a mate’s birthday.

What would you demonstrate against? War. You are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? Close Eastcroft incinerator and plant a forest over the top. More of those free showers they have in the worlds biggest patio, they new Market Square.

What city would you twin Nottingham with? Havana

www.terminalcondition.com www.myspace.com/deseyener

John Berkavitch B-boy and poet Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-a-sketch and says to the bar man… Can I have a large cappuccino and an apple juice with no ice in it please?

What’s your creative niche?

I talk a good game!

What is it that makes you an artist? My self-assessment tax form.

Most influential artist? El-P Current activity: I’ve just finished touring with JonziD productions and am having a little rest before the Glastonbury and Latitude Festivals. I’m also the Nottingham hiphop co-ordinator for the Breakin’ Convention at the Nottingham Playhouse on 2 June.

How can we access your art? By accident or on the internet. Come to my shows or show up where I’m at. Or buy something from me in person when I’m out panhandling product.

Favourite art space in Nottingham? Nottingham Playhouse.

Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with and what would this be?

I’m interested in creating a piece of hiphop theatre using local Nottingham rappers, Bboys, producers, graf-writers, actors, musicians and young people. Almost everyday I meet someone I want to collaborate with. I’ve been secretly making plans for projects involving other people. I’ve got a list and if you’re good at what you do, you’re probably on it.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Do what you want to do not what they want you to do.

What happened to you today? Several girls called me arrogant.

Favourite quote? ‘Tell me who you chill with and I’ll tell you who you are.’ Aesop Rock What would you demonstrate against? The metric system.

You are standing in as The Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda?

‘Esca-Pave’ (patent pending) - Escalator pavements on all uphill streets. www.johnberkavitch.com

www.flickr.com/photos/dubambassador/ adam.wise1@ntlworld.com

Ruth Jamieson Artist Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an etch-asketch and says to the bar man… Nothing. He uses his wizardry skills on his etch-a-sketch to draw a scratchy portrayal of a pint of extra cold beer and a packet of munchies…

What’s your creative niche? I’m a bit of jack-of-alltrades when it comes to art. Painting, model making, illustration, etc! I love it all.

Most influential artist? John Currin, Liz McGrath, Karen Kalimnik, John Tenniel, John Everett Millais, to name but a few… the list is pretty endless.

Current activity: I’m working my butt off for the Fine Art 2007 exhibition. My work is strictly top secret right now, but you’ll be able to see it from the 9-13 June, along with some other brilliant work from the rest of my year in the Bonington building on Shakespeare Street.

How can we access your art? Do you mean conceptually or literally? An open mind and an appreciation of symbolism helps, but otherwise I’ve got my own website.

Favourite art space in Nottingham? Lee Rosy’s. I don’t like formal gallery settings, and anything that involves tea gets my vote.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Hold onto what inspires you. The art world is pretty brutal, so expect to take a hell of a lot of knock backs before you get to the goodies.

What is your favourite quote? “Science and art belong to the whole world, and before them vanish the barriers of nationality” – Goethe.

What would you demonstrate against? Racism.

You are standing in as The Mayor of Nottingham what is top of your agenda? I would start a pigeon hospital. There’s nothing more depressing than a pigeon with one foot, or no feet… www.ruthjamieson.co.uk

If you would like to feature on these pages email details about your work (with examples if possible) to amanda@leftlion.co.uk www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

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Valentine’s Day Nicola Monaghan gave up a lucrative career to return back to her hometown to pen her debut novel The Killing Jar. Set on a council estate off Beechdale Road it follows the adventures of Kerrie-Ann, an intelligent but precocious individual, struggling to survive abusive parents, drug peddling, murder, abortion and joyriding.

Fortunately, Nicola’s personal life is a lot happier than her fictional counterpart and she recently married her old school friend Chad to become Mrs Nicola Valentine. LeftLion bussed it over to Aspley to discuss Britney, Ecstasy and marriage over a bag of chips… words: James Walker Losing your maiden name after just releasing your novel must have taken some persuading?

Valentine isn’t Chad’s original surname either, but an old family middle name. We decided we would both change our names and when this one came up in discussion, we were both into it. It would make a great surname for a writer, wouldn’t it? If only I’d got published after I got married…

Did you grow up on an estate?

I was born in Radford, on a road parallel to Raleigh Street, real Saturday Night and Monday Morning territory. We moved to Basford, then Broxtowe, Top Valley (twice), Bilborough, Aspley and then that estate they built when they knocked down the flats at Balloon Woods. So the answer is I’ve grown up on all the estates!

I hear you are in the new Nottingham Writers’ studio? Are the bouncers on the door exacting a strict dress code?

It’s strictly white tie, except on naked Thursdays. I’ve been renting an office there for six months or so now and I’m loving it.

It’s wonderful to be able to go to work as a writer. I’m rubbish at home. I just surf the web and drink tea. And it helps that Jon McGregor is upstairs.

Did the idea for the novel come during your MA at Nottingham Trent?

Yes, it happened in various stages. The old entomologist, Mrs Ivanovich, was conjured up by a memory exercise led by one of the tutors, Mahendra Solenki. It took me right back to the close where I lived when I was very young, to the girls next door who used to collect butterflies and put them in a rabbit hutch exactly like I had the old lady doing. A week or so later I was standing at the bus stop outside Strelley Co-op and I was struck by the vibrancy around me. There were teenagers hanging out and messing with each other, blokes on mini-motors, cars stopping and holding up traffic while the owners chatted. I’m sure these scenes could have been intimidating if I didn’t know the estate so well, but to me there was something beautiful about them. I remember thinking; If I can capture this, that would be a novel.

Your financial career offered a similar, if more exotic, escape than Kerrie-Ann who leaves Nottingham on a bus. Were you trying to get away?

I was definitely trying to escape in a way. Not Nottingham, as such, but certainly the poverty I experienced as a child. I was very ambitious then and competitive. I wanted to have everything. I don’t supposed that’s changed that much, it’s just that I’ve redefined ‘everything’ over the years.

If Jon Mcgregor was a footballer he’d be John Robertson, a tricky winger thanks to his mellifluous prose. I’ve got you down as a Roy Keane, a tough sod biting the ankles of opponents. How do you feel about that?

I’m rather relieved actually; at least you didn’t pick Stan Collymore. I love this! My mum and dad met at a Forest match, so I truly am red all the way through. Back to your question, I’m quite pleased with that comparison. I mean, he’s never boring or afraid to say what he thinks, is he? That’ll do for me.

Was it easy writing in that lovely flat Nottingham accent?

I was born and brought up here, I had the insider track on the dialect, but because I’d been away for so long, I could see it from the outsider’s point of view too. It was not so easy editing it, though. I had to go to real pains to make sure the grammar and syntax were completely consistent throughout and that was quite a painful process. It was worth it, though. I’ve been very pleased with the reaction to the dialect, particularly from people on the estate.

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Drugs feature in the novel and also in your story Flyboats which appeared in the Sunday Night and Monday Morning anthology. Given the problems they can create can drugs be used in moderation?

Everything we take into our bodies has an effect on our psyche.

That’s the basis of the human condition. Where do we draw the line? Well, everyone has their different lines, don’t they?

My experience is there’s a lot of hypocrisy and ignorance in attitudes. I’ve heard so many people lecture about how bad and dangerous Ecstasy is, all based on a few isolated and highprofile deaths and the same people go out and melt their brains with alcohol every weekend. There’s this ingrained attitude in society that keeps shouting ‘Wahey! Let’s get the beers in.’ I wanted to explore some of these contradictions in this book and gave Kerrie-Ann her own very clear code about drugs, but one that to some people would seem alien and contradictory.

You had a skinhead recently, were you doing a Britney?

In fact, it was after seeing photos of me that Britney went for the clippers! I love all this fuss about what she’s done, this assumption that to have shaved off her hair, she must be slightly mad. I think people are quite threatened by a woman with a shaved head. I got all sorts of reactions. All the best people I know loved it, but I did get whispers and even pointing and shouting in the street. I got asked several times if I was a lesbian. It’s liberating to not have to wash or blow dry your hair or pay ladies’ salon prices to get it cut.

The Killing Jar is out now priced £7.99 (paperback) from all good bookshops. www.nicolamonaghan.co.uk

Eight New Notts Novels words: James Walker and Floyd Ferris

Nottingham seems to find itself as something of a literary hub at present. With encouraging schemes like Nottingham Trent University’s Creative Writing MA and Booker Prize nominated author Jon McGregor’s new writers’ studio in Hockley, life for local literature lovers has never been so good. We look at eight recent novels by local authors ready to take over the torch from Alan Sillitoe…

The Killing Jar Nicola Monaghan

Paradise Jazz Kat Pomfret

The Damned Utd David Peace

So Many Ways to Begin Jon McGregor

Set on one of Nottingham’s toughest council estates and written in local dialect, The Killing Jar follows the adventures of Kerrie-Ann, daughter of a smack addicted prostitute as she tries to make something of her otherwise utterly depressing life.

Kerrie-Ann will cause much consternation among readers. On one level she is truly detestable, creating her own misery. On the other she is relatively innocent, manipulated by those around her and a victim of circumstance.

With a whirlwind narrative involving drugs, joyriding, sex, violence and murder it will come as no surprise that this excellent debut novel is set to make the transition to the silver screen.

Kat Pomfret’s colourful debut explores what happens in a small town when big secrets collide. This is a novel about family, history and identity, detailing the story of two women who have to confront a violent and secret past.

Take the stories of Georgetown Easy, looking for a father last seen in Texas 1978, and Helena Jones, who wants to forget the past as much as her great aunt wants her to remember it.

Twist them around one another in the small but complex world of the novel, in which “life is like jambalaya, on the one hand nothing to hold it all together and on the other, Lord you try unpicking one thing from another.” This is a highly confident first novel from one of the best new authors Nottingham has to offer.

Combining a mixture of fact and fiction this novel traces Brian Howard Cloughs’ infamous 44 days tenure of Leeds United FC in probably the most innovative and compelling sports book ever written. David Peace might not actually be based in Nottingham, but the subject is quintessentially of this city. In a ruthless, relentless prose of short sharp sentences, the reader is never given time to dwell on events, allowing Peace to take a sledgehammer to Cloughs’ memory which bleeds all over the page. It is like witnessing a murder and being unable to do anything about it. Undoubtedly the Clough presented will offend diehard reds who will not enjoying seeing the memory of their messiah so convincingly destroyed but it is done with such style and panache you can’t help but admire. Not for the faint hearted.

David Carter is a museum curator with a great interest in the past. He loves the touch and smell of historical artefacts and the worlds which these objects evoke. One day he discovers that an old Viking ship which fascinated him during his childhood is actually a replica and therefore not what it seems. This acts as a metaphor for his own life when he later discovers that he is adopted. So Many Ways to Begin is a beautiful and sad story which explores the nature of relationships and the need for structured narratives in our lives. This was McGregor’s second novel and longlisted for the Booker. Leftlion predicts he will win it by his fifth novel and when he does we will dance naked through Market Square and release a thousand doves in gratitude.

224 pages - Published by Vintage - £7.99

483 pages - Published by Snowbooks - £7.99

384 pages - Published by Bloomsbury - £7.99

368 pages - Published by Faber and Faber - £7.99

Sunday Night and Monday Morning ed. James Urquhart

Full Bacon Jacket Tom Hathaway

Fresher Loay Hady

Stray David Belbin

This short story collection from writers born or living in Nottinghamshire takes its title from the iconic Sillitoe novel of similar name. Released to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Fives Leaves Press, a local independent publisher, it features sixteen new stories and novel extracts from established authors such as Robert Harris, Clare Littleford and Tom Haig. This eclectic mix takes us from the American Deep South to Paris, Lithuania, medieval battlefields and back to inner city Nottingham, giving something for everyone. It is included in our ‘best of’ because it is the perfect introduction to local literature, allowing readers to pursue other works by the authors who catch their eye.

The Chimneys are a rock and roll band in Nottingham during late eighties and they are completely reckless! Alongside regular gigs at modern-day LeftLion haunts like Malt Cross and Rusells (now the Orange Tree) come regular arrests and drunken antics by the boys who include TallBob, The Skipper, The croc and the Shedfixman. Cover the budgie. Bin the mobile. Rig the room for impact and strap yourself tightly in for a white-knuckle ride through the true, larger than life chronicle of the girls, the gigs, the giggles; the boys, the bars, the birianis, the cars, the capers and the courtrooms. This book was written by LeftLion contributor and Chimneys member Tom Hathaway, whose work can regularly be found in the pages of this magazine including this issue on page 36.

Nottingham Trent alumnus Loay Hady opens a window on a bizarre world, populated by displaced and deranged lunatics, in search of themselves and willing partners. Fresher is a magically real tour through a wild first 48 hours of university life, the beginning of freshers’ week. For those that don’t know, this is a week of hormone-driven leary, bleary nights out ingesting, sharing and regurgitating fluids, conducted under the banner of ‘settling in at uni’. Creative Writing graduate Hady knows his subject well, he edited NTU’s award-winning student rag Platform and has written for the BBC on student life. A confident debut novel, but not recommended for nervous parents.

Written for a younger age market than most of the books on this page, Stray is the latest novel from one of the cities most prolific authors and creative writing lecturer David Belbin. Set on an estate, Kev falls in love with Stacey, a girl who finds herself abused and exploited by the gang she is in. But will Kev be able to reach out to the lost girl behind the tough looks? Can he help Stray, or will she drag him down with her?

This is a compelling, edgy teen romance that proves that books written with a lower reading age don’t have to cop out.

240 pages - Published by Five Leaves - £9.99

352 pages - Published by Athena - £10.99

64 pages - Published by Barrington Stoke - £4.99

148 pages - Published by Exposure - £5.99 You can read interviews with Jon McGregor, Tom Hathaway and David Belbin in the Literature section of LeftLion.co.uk

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

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OUT&ABOUT

LeftLion whips out the credit card and wallows in the retail and social wonderland that is Nottingham.

Our people on the street this time are Camillo, Dave Rogers and Glen Parver...

Zen

Art and Design exhibitions.

The Zen shop opened last month in the premises vacated by Luna on George Street in Hockley. Offering to take you on a healing journey, the store stocks an impressive range of alternative delights and has a number of in-house consultants and therapists to boot.

The store also have their very own clothing range. Tuttie Too Cuttie clothing is the brainchild of resident artist Sarah, offering handmade customised prints on both male and female T-shirts. With the plethora of big brand stores populating Nottingham city centre, a smaller retailer like Zen can only be a welcome addition to the local shopping landscape.

Inspirational design ideas from some of the country’s most creative and forward-thinking students will be showcased during Nottingham Trent University’s art and design exhibitions from 8-12 June.

Students from 16 courses within the School of Art and Design are preparing to exhibit their work across the university’s city campus. Visitors will experience a wide range of different media and creative practices including sculpture, painting, illustration, graphics, photography, print, moving image, theatre and digital design. There will also be directional fashion, knitwear, textiles and decorative arts, futuristic products, cutting-edge furniture and interior design solutions.

Many of the shows will take place in the university’s Bonington building, a state-of-theart centre for creativity housing extensive design facilities, officially opened last year by fashion designer and LeftLion interviewee Sir Paul Smith.

Other locations are Waverley, a fully-upgraded listed building with true design heritage, and Maudslay, a design-focused centre for industry and technology.

Two exciting Nottingham fashion events are also scheduled, starting on 11 June when fashion design students will present Fashion 55 at the Nottingham Arena. This major catwalk event will showcase collections from 55 inspirational young designers to an audience of 4,000. Fashion knitwear students will also unveil their catwalk collections during Fully Fashioned, within the Nottingham Council House buildings on 14 June.

The Dean of the university’s School of Art and Design, Ann Priest, said: “We’re all really excited about the high quality of work on offer at this year’s shows. Nottingham Trent University has a national and international reputation for shaping creative talent to produce directional and innovative design, and this will be reflected in the shows.”

Zen, 5 George Street, Hockley, NG1 0115 950 1699

The Bonington Gallery, NTU School of Art and Design, Dryden Street, NG1 0115 848 8436 www.ntu.ac.uk/art

City Pulse Festival

The Breakout Tour - Janette Parris with Going South

Nottingham City Council are following up their Market Square opening celebrations with City Pulse Festival - a weekend of live music, performance and art at venues across the city. During the day you can enjoy free arts events and live music in the sunshine at various outdoor sites. By night, clubs and music venues will keep the beats pulsing with something for everyone from jazz to street music, folk to flamenco, alternative country to breakbeat and much more.

According to Shakespeare all the world’s a stage… and Rock City in particular is a stage that many musicians aspire to play on. It’s a dream that Janette Parris experiments with this month when she arrives to perform at our city of legends’ famed venue.

She and her band Going South are heading north for their biggest live gig to date.

Parris has been delving into the list of Nottingham’s famous exports and believes that while it includes legendary heroes, romantic poets and Olympic medallists, its musical heritage is somewhat limited apart from Rock City. Whatever your opinion, for The Breakout Tour they will present a new live set packed with old favourites including the top ten classic

by Nottingham’s very own Swing Out Sister. Also look out for a poster campaign around town leading you between the Angel Row Gallery (who have commissioned the project) and Rock City, introducing the band members and hinting at their fabled exploits.

Choose from a serious selection of healing crystals, spiritual CDs, hand-painted cards, incense, books, ornaments and herbal highs (for natural comedown-free partying).Whatever your alternative tipple the Zen shop is likely to meet your requirements and if not manager Parissa will be more than happy to order in new stock for you.

Zen has a weekly visit from an internationally licensed clairvoyant with 25 years of experience of predicting the future - alongside a resident tarot card reader and an astrologer. Their hypnotherapist offers services to conquer phobias, addictions and aid weight loss. This writer is particularly interested in their claim to help you quit smoking in one session, which could prove useful for those experiencing the effects of the July ban.

As you’ve gathered by now the staff at Zen take their healing pretty seriously, their list of natural ammunition can help you counter a wide variety of health complaints such as migraines, depression and skin problems.

Some highlights…

Swinging in St Peters Square. St Peters Square (outside Marks and Sparks) will be filled with music styles from Europe to South America and everything in-between. Expect an eclectic mix of samba, ska and skiffle performances.

St Peters Square, Sat 26 May 11am-5pm.

Acoustic at the Castle. Nottingham Castle gets mellow with a an acoustic medley of styles!

The diverse line-up, organised with Folkwit Records, includes Andy Whittle, Samuel Kirk (above), Palava, Ludwig, Dusty Knees and Sally Murray.

Robin Hood Statue, Castle Road, 26-28 May 12-5pm.

Cool your Heels with Jazz at Chapel Bar Sit back and take in World Jazz outside the bars and restaurants of Chapel Bar. Musicians include the Brassery, Campbell Bass, Matt Andusun Band, Tangata, café du Monde, Orioles Brass Band and more.

Chapel Bar, 26-28 May, 12.30-4.30pm.

New Music Talent at the Arboretum Sit back in the grass and enjoy new musical talent from Nottingham Music School on Saturday or get environment friendly on Sunday with Nottingham Green festival. To round off the weekend sit back and relax to the sounds of Audio Massage in the Park.

The Arboretum 26-28 May 12-6pm . www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk

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The gallery exhibition continues Parris’ observations of the everyday and the characters we play throughout the performance of our lives, exploring notions of celebrity, our obsessions with pop idols and the meaning of Shakespeare’s famous assertion.

Live gig: 5pm, Sunday 3 June Rock City, Talbot Street, Nottingham Free entry (pick up ticket flyers around town in various venues and shops) Poster campaign: Tuesday 22 May – Tuesday 4 June Across various bus shelters across Nottingham city centre Gallery exhibition: Friday 25 May – Saturday 14 July Angel Row Gallery - www.angelrowgallery.com

NOTTS’ BEST BEER GARDENS The back of The Dragon is my favourite spot. Nice little yard with a Mediterranean feel. The inside courtyard of the Old Trip To Jerusalem. Small, but nice and cool when it’s baking outside. The Vic in Beeston has a bit of outside area. I love the Vic...

Mr. BRJ Nags Head on Mansfield Road: Huge outdoor area for dancing. Saltwater: love that terrace. Best drinking spot in the whole of Nottingham. World Service: posh joint. Expensive. But really nicely done Japanese inspired-ish courtyard garden. It’s amazing on a hot summer day when you need to cool off under a parasol with a peach Bellini. The Lion Inn: a great big whacking lawn where you can just lie around pretending you’re lost and beer is the only way out. myhouse-yourhouse The Poacher’s got a nice outside bit, I always feel like I’m on holiday when I’m there. Nice beer and pork pies as well. We play monopoly there, it’s lovely. They have cats too. This could have been written by a five year old. tommy farmyard The Borlase Warren beer garden is gorgeous, really sparkly and special. Makes me feel like I’m in Italy or some Mediterranean place, for some odd reason...

Sara The Admiral Rodney just round from Wollaton Park has a great beer garden. Just what you need after chucking some frisbee in the park.

ROB Definitely Saltwater. It’s usually out of the wind and the view doesn’t even look like Nottingham. You get all of the old architecture at the top of the buildings which you don’t notice from the bottom. The Red Lion near us is brilliant too, made all the better because it looks like it’s been crowbarred into the industrial estate that surrounds it.

Agent of Reality The Duke on Woodborough road has just built a nice new one and I like drinking outside the Grosvenor as long as you’re not sat too close to Mansfield Road.

Oh What A Night

WHAT DOES DANCING MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE? Sometimes when I dance, I feel like I’ve gone to another place. I get really excited and feel like I almost can’t breathe. The music just moves me. It’s the best feeling ever. Sounds cheesy but it’s true.

Mizza Dancing makes me horny; while thinking of red and purple and silver. Sometimes aqua blue and orange though, depending on tempo/volume.

Zelig I don’t care if it makes me look like a tit. Dancing makes me feel vibrant red like a fire engine or deepest darkest black and Giger-esque if it’s particularly angry drum n bass.

MegamanX I feel comfortable, naturally linked to others around me and generally become more sensitive to vibes, although that’s my job. With varied and intelligent clientele it’s a connecting act, a way of expressing and seeing who you like without using words.

In places with a meat market attitude dancing becomes a courting ritual and a palpable sense of danger and risk fills the air. bophoto To me dancing is like dreaming. What’s the point of sleeping if you have no dreams? samyouwell Free, alive, horny, sometimes paranoid but still I can’t stop myself, happy, excited.

Wendy House

The Real Hustle

words: Robert Macpherson photo: www.algreerimaging.co.uk In the absence of a Drop In The Ocean festival this year, it’s good to know that Nottingham music promoters are still doing their bit for charity. Not content with putting on a single gig, Hockley Hustle founder, Adam Pickering, has us fleet-footed supporters of the Nottingham scene rushing from venue to venue, again. Last year’s event raised £2,250 for charity but Pickering is not resting on his laurels. On 17 June over seventy acts, ranging from indie to folk to hiphop, will converge on the cobbled streets of Nottingham’s trendy east side in aid of Oxfam and the NSPCC to add their voices to the festival’s second incarnation.

How are things going on the organisational front?

Things are all going pretty well, I’ve got a lot of help this year and got a load of people contributing with all sorts of jobs. It’s definitely running a lot smoother than last year.

So, who else is involved with the festival?

Loads of people helping out deserve a shout; Tommy at Farmyard in particular is doing a great job organising the event and putting on a lot of great indie bands at The Social along with a bit of a mix at Dogma. Other promoters involved include I’m Not From London doing punk and metal at the Old Angel, Oh My Gosh presenting some hiphop at Stone and Folkwit Records putting some acoustic acts on at Lee Rosy’s. New venues like Bluu, Market Bar and Brownes were also keen to get involved this year and we were looking to add a bit of a dancy, party vibe with a bit of dubstep and drum and bass. There seems to be a lot of enthusiasm all round.

How did the idea for the Hockley Hustle originally come about?

It grew out of nothing really, I got involved quite early on with last year’s Oxjam Festival and planned to run just one venue before it expanded, getting some more places involved and adding a few other types of music. It was influenced quite a bit by Drop In The Ocean, because that was absolutely brilliant and we wanted to do something like that but on a smaller scale and keep it more focused.

I think Hockley’s a great area to accommodate it and there is such a great variety of venues to showcase the amount of differing musical styles we wanted to bring to the festival.

The wide range of music on display is indeed a great part of the festival, was this always a key selling point for you?

Yeah definitely, to be honest we don’t want to aim to make it too cool and cliquey. We want everyone to get involved, all ages, even people who might not always go to gigs can come down and see what Nottingham music is all about. There’s something for everyone.

How much thought did you give to pricing tickets for the festival?

I think we had to be cheap really because our festival is on a small scale, but we went with a fiver because it’s a nice round number

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that you’d pay to see most of these bands anyway. Yes, its for charity, but we’d rather get an extra two hundred people down there and make it a great event than charge double the amount and it be empty.

Where are the profits of the festival headed?

The Hustle is acting as a warm-up event for this year’s Oxjam so half the money is going there. We also wanted to support some more local causes this year so the rest is going to local projects being run by the NSPCC. People in Nottingham definitely seem keen to support their local community, we’re hoping to get 1000 people down there and double last year’s total.

How is the line-up looking?

It’s moving pretty quickly at the minute, we’ve got 55 acts confirmed and many more on the way.

Which ones are you particularly excited about?

There’s a whole range of great Nottingham acts that are listed on our website; Six Nation State and Rotating Leslie from London are also both really good bands. I’m personally really excited about seeing Liam Bailey and the Soul Parade. I think Liam’s one of the most talented guys in Nottingham musically, but there are people I want to see playing in all of the venues. I’ll be jumping around all over the place.

For a full line-up and other information see the Hockley Hustle website: www.myspace.com/hockleyhustle

listings...

Friday 01/06 Word of Mouth Venue: Muse Price: £3 Times: 8pm ASM and A Summer Madness Tour.

Reppin Rady Rugrats Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 8.30pm - late Deep Sound Channel, Vaccine, Lowstar, plus live turntablism courtesy of DJ Rippa and liquid funk sets by Synic and Rob Hz. The Crimea Venue: Social Price: £6.50 Times: 10pm With Support from Undercut 7.

Spectrum Venue: Price: Times:

Stealth £7 10pm

Buster Venue: Price: Times:

The Approach Free 8pm

Kris Ward Venue: Fellows Morton and Clayton Price: Free Times: 8pm Sounds Global Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Nick Shaw and Ed Chalands Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions.

Urban Intro Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm The Moth Lantern Style: Indie, Pop Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm Charger Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 / £7 Times: 9pm - 2am Plus Drag The Lake and Strain.

Saturday 02/06 LeftLion Presents...

Venue: Orange Tree Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - Late Pilgrim Fathers and more TBC. Enjoy The Ride Venue: Malt Cross Price: £3 / £5 Times: 9pm - 1am An audio/visual delight of live music, short films, art, poetry and whatever they can fit in from Nottingham’s thriving artistic community, hosted by the now legendary Pete Finch.

Basement Venue: Price: Times:

Boogaloo Maze £5 10.30pm

Scouting for Girls Venue: Social Price: £5 Times: 10pm Detonate Presents Venue: Social Price: £5 Times: 11pm - 4am Logistics, Kasra and Transit Mafia.

Martin Kuchen / The Horse Loom Venue: Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 11pm With support from Cars.

music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre Saturday 02/06 Planet Nottingham Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Price: £8 adv Times: 10pm - 6am Altern8, Dreadzone, Utah Saints, Beat Vandals, Vinyl [abort] , Delirium Funk, Spamchop, Freeman, Groundhogs (B-Boy Display) and visuals by VJ Steve G and Synoptics.

Joe Strange Band Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Plus Urban Intro one hour trio set.

Basement Venue: Price: Times:

Boogaloo warm up Golden Fleece Free 8.30pm

Alex Traska Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Eclectic Session.

Charlie (Percussion) Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm Wildside Clubnight Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 Times: 8pm - 2am With Drag The Lake and Strain.

Sunday 03/06 Battle of The Bands Final Venue: Maze Plus special guest performance from Robin Auld.

Fab 4 Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

Punksoc Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 7.30pm - 12am Catch It Kebabs, Arse Full of Chips, Johnny One Lung, Neil From Lightyear and Fat Phace.

Monday 04/06 Monday Madness!

Venue: Maze Times: 8pm Yonderworkgroup, The Accidentals and more TBC. S.P.A.M Venue: Price: Times:

Junktion 7 Free 9pm - 2am

Richie Muir Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Tuesday 05/06 Simian Mobile Disco Live Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10adv Times: 9pm - 3am Simian Mobile Disco live.

Plus Liars Club and dollop DJs. Farmyard Loves Music Style: Acoustic Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm Foe Vance Venue: Maze Price: £6 Times: 7.30pm The Magic Venue: Price: Times:

Flute Royal Centre £13 upwards 7.15pm

Tuesday 05/06

Friday 08/06

Pet Shop Boys Venue: Royal Centre Price: £26.50 Times: 7pm doors

Geezer Safari / The Orange Lights Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 Times: 8pm doors

Beyonce Venue: Price: Times:

Josh Pyke Venue: Social Price: £6 (NUS) Times: 7pm - 10am

Nottingham Arena £41 - £56 TBC

Wednesday 06/06 The Adventure Club Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 7pm Ziggy Stardust and the Spider from Mars Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £2 Times: 8pm - 11pm The Only Ones Venue: Rock City Price: £15 Times: 7.30pm Urban Intro Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Rigoletto Venue: Price: Times:

Royal Centre £13 - £52 7.15pm

INXS Venue: Price: Times:

Royal Centre £26 7.30pm

Roy De Wired Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Dido and Aeneas Venue: Royal Centre Price: £13 upwards Times: 7.15pm Dynamics Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Ben Coppin Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions.

Mark Raynor Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm

Saturday 09/06

Highness Sound System Venue: BluePrint Price: £5.00 Times: 10.30pm - 2am DJs Gefferz, Bluecat, Sleepy I. MCs Lenny Ranks, Raffiki, Baron D, Percy Dread and Doktah.

Hometown Heroes Tour Venue: Maze Price: £4 Times: 8pm Censored, The Minnesota Fats, The Venkman Heist and The Torn.

High Summer Venue: Social Price: £4 (NUS) Times: All day My Sad Captains, SJ Esau, I Love Sarah, Joe Jones and Gentle Friendly.

The Concretes Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £8 Times: 7.30pm The Fab 4 Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Katya Kabanova Venue: Royal Centre Price: £13 upwards Times: 7.15pm The Herb Birds Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Friday 08/06 Sublogik Style:

DnB, Dub, Reggae Venue: Maze Price: £3 b4 10pm £5 after Times: 9.30pm - 2am Mr. Fijitt, Suspect One, DJ Smith and Steff B.

Firefly 7th Birthday Style: Techno Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Price: £10 / £13 Times: 10pm - 6am Justice, Speedy J Live, Busy P, Jeet, Residents and more TBC. S.P.A.M Venue: Price: Times:

Junktion 7 Free 9pm - 2am

Liars Club Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £6 Times: 10.15pm Rigoletto Venue: Price: Times:

Royal Centre £13 - £52 7.15pm

A Tribute to Lerner And Loewe Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £18 Times: 7.30pm Cal Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Eclectic Session.

Drowned in Sound Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 / £6 / £7 (NUS) Times: 8pm - 2am Plus Censored, Shut Your Eyes and You’ll Burst Into Flames and Ejectorseat.

Sunday 10/06

Thursday 07/06 Adrian Orange (Thanksgiving) Venue: Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop Price: £4 / £5 Times: 8pm doors

Saturday 09/06

CULT - Utah Jazz!

Style: DnB Venue: Maze Price: £5 b4 11pm £6 after Times: 10pm - 2am Utah Jazz (Liquid V), Mouse, Houghmeister and MC Juma Phist.

Heavyweight Rocksteady Venue: Social Price: £6 (NUS) Times: 11pm - 3am MC Dread, Earlybird, Aled Jones and more TBC.

Gringo Records Tenth Anniversary

Noodle BBQ Style: Electro, Techno Venue: Moog Price: Free Times: 11am - 2am Crazy P DJ Set, Chris Finke, Vinyl [abort], 1st Blood, Parker, Pasquale, Alex Traska, MeMeMe, Tegz, Modular Matt, Mark Allen, Margovan, Gino, Harry DJ, Weiss, Matt Hinton, RTDJ, Solbank, Sillycore Collective and Tan MushiMushi.

Saturday 9 June

Words: Amanda Young

Nottingham-based indie music label Gringo Records are summoning together some killer live bands for their spectacular tenth birthday event. This is all taking place on Saturday 9 June, with a 2pm start at The Arts Organisation on Station Street. There will be a plethora of booze, bands and a fanzine exhibition as a backdrop to the all-day musical affair.

The line up of Gringo acts past and present is as follows: Part Chimp, Bilge Pump, Lords, The Unit AMA, Souvaris, Sailors, Reynolds, Hirameka Hi-Fi, Hey Colossus, Owen Tromans and The Elders, Designer Babies, Andy Clambake and The Resurrection Men. Try to catch Bilge Pump who pull off bass lines like luscious strawberry laces. Lords are better than skid marks in BMX tracks, with grimy blues-rock melodies and expect some very large ‘n heavy alternative rock from Part Chimp too. Souvaris have an ambient undertone to their sounds like the gentle movement from dawn chorus to day.

Altogether a beautiful catch of sonic delight.

Gringo Records came about through a chance meeting on Halloween in 1996. Matt Newnham and Tom Coogan went to a gig where they discovered Jason Graham who initially had money to invest. The first release was a Lando/Teebo split 7”, a classic that is now only owned by truest Gringo fans. Matt said: “We picked up various tips from the DIY labels of the day and Wurlitzer Jukebox was producing a fact sheet on how to release your own records.” Since then Gringo bands have done Steve Lamacq and John Peel sessions and been playing with bigger bands like Mogwai. They can expect a great year ahead beginning with Lords playing Texas, USA at the SXSW festival. www.gringorecords.com / www.wegottickets.com

listings...

Monday 11/06

music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre Thursday 14/06

Electric Six Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £20 Times: 7.30pm Dogs Venue: Price: Times:

Social £7 (NUS) 8pm - late

G4 Venue: Price: Times:

Royal Centre £28.50 7.50pm

Robbo Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

Tuesday 12/06 Geezer Safari Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm The Sounds Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £8.50 adv Open Mic Night & Headline Act Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm Pitty Pat 1st Birthday Venue: Social Price: £6 (NUS) Times: 8pm - 2am The Hicksville Bombers, The Speedkings and The Devil Dolls (Burlesque).

Marillion Venue: Price: Times:

Rock City £20 7pm

Wednesday 13/06 Mega Byte Mute Venue: Stealth Price: £5 Times: 9.30pm - 3am Nostalgia77, Middleman, The Stoatz, Natural Self, DJ Porg and The Kull. An eclectic blend of bands and DJ talent of the highest order as a final Fine Art finale.

The Green Bus Presents...

Venue: Maze Price: £3 Times: 8.30pm The Silver Tongues, Curtis Whitefinger Ordeal and The Amber Herd.

Roger Chapman Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £16 Times: 6.30pm Forever Like Red Venue: Rock City Price: £5 Times: 7.30pm Cocorosie Venue: NTU Union Price: £13 Times: 8pm Urban Intro Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm

Thursday 14/06 Antibalas / Poets of Rhythm Venue: Polish Club Price: £10 adv Times: 9pm - 3am Plus DJ Hugo Mendez.

AWD Promotions Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm - 12am The Romance, The Down and Outs, The Verified and The Matadors.

Futureproof Style: Dubstep, Electronica Venue: BluePrint Price: £5 Times: 9pm - 2am Shackleton, Appleblim, Jon Rust, Bracky Fudge, Inxec (Live), Mood Gremlin, BrokeBust, Missaw, Dazzle and Neutek.

Tom Mcrae Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £14 adv Radar Presents Venue: Social Price: £3 (NUS) Times: 9pm - 3am Plus The Answering Machine.

The Enemy Venue: NTU Union Price: £9 Times: 8pm The Fab 4 Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Kate Walsh Venue: Maze Price: £8 Times: 7.30pm

Friday 15/06 Muse Live Venue: Muse Price: £3 Nova Robotics and Back of The Reel The Clipse Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £12.50 adv Times: 8pm

Farmyard Presents...

Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 9pm Skinny Summo and more TBC. Stomper Venue: Social Price: £3 (NUS) Times: 10.30pm - 2am DJ Martin Nesbitt and more TBC. Urban Intro Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Propaganda Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Mickey Lucas and Andy Bunney Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions Kill Kenada Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Times: 8pm - 2am Plus The Crimson Roadmap and Nephu Huzzband.

Saturday 16/06

MISST Style: Dubstep Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Price: £7 Times: 10-3am MRK1, Youngsta, Kromestar, S.N.O and Misst v Wigflex.

Highness Sound System Venue: Social Price: £3 (NUS) Times: 11pm - 3am Hadouken Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £8 Times: 7pm Riders On Venue: Price: Times:

The Storm Rock City £25 7pm

Blood Divided Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 6pm - 2am Plus 1000 Sins, Hordes of Satan, Deny The Charge, Dead On A Rival, Eva Braun and Sever The Wicked.

Tom Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Eclectic Session.

Inland Knights Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm

Joe Strange Band Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Plus Tom Wardle.

Urban Intro Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm

Thursday 21/06 Rockin’ on Heaven’s Door Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 - £19 Runs Until: 23/6 AJ Roach Trio (USA) Venue: Maze Price: £8 Times: 7.30pm Radar Presents Venue: Social Times: 10pm - 3am The Fab 4 Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm OMD - The Venue: Price: Times:

Best Of OMD Royal Centre £27.50 7.30pm

Friday 22/06 Fat Freddies Drop Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £14adv Nottingham Punk Club Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 9pm Riot Squad, Stuntface, The Black Marias and Dead Identities

Sunday 17/06 Notts Live Music Festival Venue: Arboretum Price: Free Times: 12pm - 6pm Battle of the Bands finale.

Hockley Hustle Venues: Various Price: £5 See Featured listing for more info.

Skaters / Tight Meat Venue: Rose of England Price: £5 Times: 8pm doors With support from Heather Leigh.

Songwriters Sunday Venue: Maze Price: £4 Times: 8pm Jezz Hall, Ying, Cookie and Becky Syson.

Kula Shaker Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £15 Times: 7pm

Monday 18/06 Jack Penate Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £7.50 adv Times: 7pm - 10pm The Herb Birds Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Tuesday 19/06

Saturday 16/06 The Sunset 3 Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Wednesday 20/06

LeftLion Unplugged Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - late The Sea and Cake Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm

Dollop Venue: Price: Times:

Social £3 / £4 (NUS) 11pm - 3am

Joe Strange Band Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm With Support From Kris Ward Tom Wardle Venue: Fellows Morton Clayton Price: Free Times: 8pm Detonate Style: DnB, Dubstep, Venue: Stealth Price: £10 Times: 10pm - 4am Randall, Nu Tone, S.P.Y, Transit Mafia, Callous, Freestyle, Ruthless, I.D, N-Type, Rust, More TBC.

Saturday 23/06 Isla Wight Presents Venue: Price: Times:

and Icarusboy Maze £6 - £7 8pm - 2am

Tuesday 26/06 Acoustic Tuesdays Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm Tom Kitching and Gren Bartley launch their new album.

Magnolia Electric Company Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £11 Times: 7.30pm Ziggy Marley Venue: Rock City Price: £20 Times: 7.30pm See interview on page 17.

Battle Cat! Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm With support from :( (colon open bracket) and KC.

Wednesday 27/06 Urban Intro Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm WAQT Venue: Price: Times:

Lakeside £12 8pm

I Am The Door Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm - 12am With support from Basso Loco.

Thursday 28/06 Muse Live Venue: Muse Price: £3 Times: 8pm Ladies night.

Tintinnabulum Venue: St Peters Church Price: £5 Times: 8pm - 10pm The Fab 4 Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Bucks Fizz and Brotherhood of Man Venue: Royal Centre Price: £16 Times: 7.30pm Robbo Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

The Engine of Armageddon Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm - 12am With support from Strain and Blood Divided.

Friday 29/06

The Hustle Venue: Social Price: £3 Times: 11pm - 3am Daddy Bones, Detail and King Kahula Neon Heights Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Battle of The Bands Final Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4.50 (NUS) Times: 9pm - 2am

Sunday 24/06 One Night Venue: Price: Times:

Of Queen Royal Centre £15.50 - £16.50 7.30pm

Muse Live Venue: Price: Times: The Arcane

Muse £3 8pm plus support

Soulbassics Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions.

Illuminatus Venue: Junktion 7 Price: Free (NUS) Times: 9pm - 2am Plus Beyond All Reason.

listings...

Saturday 30/06 Ronnie Londons Groove Lounge Style: Sixties, Venue: Grosvenor Price: £3 Times: 8pm-1am The only regular Mod night in Nottingham.

Terry Reid Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £18 adv Morning Runner Venue: Social Price: £7 Times: 7pm - 10pm Liars Club Venue: Stealth Price: £5 Times: 10.15pm Joe Strange Band Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm With support from Tom Wardle.

Bugz In The Attic Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Eclectic sessions.

Worldstage Ltd Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm - 2am Uproar! The Deltarays, The Four Last Things, Starscreen, The Rockettops and Gallery 47.

Sunday 01/07 Chill In The Park 2007 Venue: Arboretum Park Price: Free Times: 12pm - 6pm With a theme of “a world of Nottingham music” the city’s third Chill in the Park is bigger and ,ore chilled than ever.

Terry Reid Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £20 Times: 7.30pm Rolling Clones Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Monday 02/07 Guitar Wolf Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm Damn You! Venue: Maze

Tuesday 03/07 Acoustic Tuedays presents...

Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm free acousticy goodness for all! artist tbc Heather Myles Venue: Maze

Thursday 05/07 Air Traffic Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £8 adv Default This Presents...

Venue: Maze Andy Williams Venue: Royal Centre Price: £29.50 - £33 Times: 8pm Music to watch girls by.

music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre Friday 06/07 Spectrum Style: Venue: Price: Times: Lineup TBC. S.P.A.M Venue: Price: Times:

Breaks Stealth £10 10pm - 4am

Junktion 7 Free 9pm - 2am

In The Same Boat Venue: Maze Pop Confessional Venue: Social Price: £3 Times: 10.30pm - 3am J Rev. Car-Bootleg and Paul (Just The Tonic).

Nathan Wall Venue: Fellows Morton and Clayton Price: Free Times: 8pm Sounds Global Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Ben Coppin Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions.

Trixter Venue: Price: Times:

Loft Free 8pm

Saturday 07/07

Wednesday 11/07 The National Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 adv Sunny Sweeney Band Venue: Maze Price: £9 Times: 7.30pm The Gossip Venue: Rock City Price: £14 Times: 7.30pm

Thursday 12/07 Rigbee Deep Venue: Maze Price: £2 Times: 8pm - 12am Diverse night of DJs from soul to funk, dub to drum n bass and hiphop to reggae.

The Herb Birds Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Friday 13/07 Sublogik Style: Dub, DnB, Hiphop Venue: Maze Price: £3 / £5 Times: 9.30pm Including DJs from the Pure Filth and Psycle collectives.

The Rubber Room Venue: Social Price: Free Times: 10.30pm - 3am Robbo Venue: Price: Times:

LeftLion Presents...

Venue: Orange Tree Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - late Captain Dangerous and Geezer Safari and Stiff Kittens DJ’s The Herb Birds Venue: The Approach Price: Free Times: 8pm Basement Venue: Price: Times:

Boogaloo warm up Golden Fleece Free 8.30pm

Danny J Lewis Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Eclectic Sessions Raging Speedhorn Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm - 2am With support from Daor.

Sunday 08/07 Smokey Robinson Venue: Royal Centre Price: £37.50 Times: 7.30pm

Tuesday 10/07 Open Mic Night Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm Monarch Venue: Maze Price: £4 Times: 8pm With support from Castor Troy and Skill Tanker.

Fellows Morton Clayton Free 8pm

Dynamics Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Greg Dorban and Andy Bunney Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions

Saturday 14/07 S.P.A.M Venue: Price: Times:

Junktion 7 Free 9pm - 2am

Audio Massage Venue: Maze Heavyweight Rocksteady Venue: Social Price: £6 Times: 11pm - 3am MC Dread, Earlybird, Aled Jones and more TBC.

Saturday 14/07 Liars Club Venue: Stealth Price: £5 Times: 10.15pm

Sunday 15/07 The Bravery Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £12 Times: 7.30pm Establishment Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Tuesday 17/07 LeftLion Unplugged Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - late Mat Andasun band and guests TBC.

Wednesday 18/07 Roll Out The Barrel Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 Times: 2pm

Thursday 19/07 Andy Whittle Venue: Maze The Checks Venue: Social Price: £5 Times: 8pm - 11am Richie Muir Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Hordes of Satan Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm - 12am Plus The Engines of Armageddon and Sons of Merrick.

Friday 20/07 Farmyard Presents Venue: Maze Stomper!

Venue: Social Price: £3 Times: 10.30pm - 2am DJ Martin Nesbitt and special guests.

Propaganda Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Soulbassics Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am ReelGroove Sessions.

Swimming Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 9pm - 2am

Saturday 21/07 Highness Sound System Venue: Social Price: £5 Times: 11pm - 3am Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Venue: Rock City Price: £15 Times: 7pm Steve Vai Venue: Price: Times:

Royal Centre £25 7pm Doors

Cal Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Eclectic Sessions.

Skinny Sumo Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm

Monday 23/07 The Herb Birds Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Tuesday 24/07 Open Mic Night Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm

Wednesday 25/07 Hothouse Theatre Magazine Night Venue: Maze Price: £4 Times: 8pm Monthly showcase for spoken word.

Gary Numan Venue: Rock City Price: £18 Times: 7.30pm Noel Fieldings hero.

Thursday 26/07 Green Bus presents Venue: Maze Price: TBC Robbo Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

Friday 27/07 Detonate Style: DnB, Dubstep Venue: Stealth Price: £10 Times: 10pm - 4am Andy C, Bassline Smith, Transit Mafia, SP and MC Rust.

Dollop Venue: Price: Times:

Social £3 / £4 11pm - 3am

Jason Heart Venue: Fellows Morton and Clayton Price: Free Times: 8pm

Saturday 28/07 Nottingham Pride 2007 Venue: Arboretum Park Price: Free Times: 12pm - 6pm Niki French, Switch 22, Maria Lucas, Dhol Enforcement Agency, Primo XS, Ali Wright, Pointy Boss and Auston Drage.

Ronnie Londons Groove Lounge Style: Sixties Venue: Grosvenor Price: £3 Times: 8pm - 1am The Hustle Venue: Social Price: £3 Times: 11pm - 3am Daddy Bones, Detail and King Kahlua.

The Deltaays Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm Wild Wood Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Uproar!

Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 9pm - 2am The Arcane, The Fakers, The Four Last Things, The Nicoles and The Invasion Strategy.

Sunday 29/07 Charity All Dayer Venue: Maze Times: 2pm 10 O’Clock Horses, Ordo Ab Chao, Your New Accident and more tbc

Tuesday 31/07 Open Mic Night Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8:30pm

listings...

Weeklies Fridays Love Shack Style: Eighties, Nineties Venue: Rock City Price: £4 / £5 Times: 9.30pm - 2am

Salt Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Hiphop, House, Breaks Dogma Free 7pm - 2am

Pop.Your_Funk Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 9pm - late Joe Strange Band Style: Acoustic Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Saturdays Uberism Venue: Price: Times: Saturday Venue: Price: Times:

Media £8 / £10 10pm - 2am Night live Deux Free 7pm

music /weeklies / exhibitions / comedy / theatre Sundays

Snug £6 (NUS) 10pm - 4am

Distortion Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Rock, Alternative Rock City £5 (NUS) 9pm - 2.30am

Sundays

Melody Market Style: Acoustic Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 7.30pm Jazz at the Bell Style: Jazz Venue: Bell Inn Price: Free Times: 12.30pm – 3am The Underground Sessions Venue: Snug Price: Free Times: 9pm - 4am

We Love Style: Acoustic Venue: Deux Price: Free Times: 8pm It’s live and almost acoustic.

Eclectic open mic night.

Reggae Roast Style: Reggae Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30pm

Moog is Sunday Style: Relaxed, Funk Venue: Moog Price: Free Times: 12pm - 12am

LeftLion Pub Quiz Venue: The Golden Fleece Our weekly pub quiz continues at the Fleece. Come down and you could win a load of beer or a meal for your team and more importantly have a laugh.

Mondays Nottingham School of Samba Style: Samba Venue: Templars Times: 7pm - 9pm Rock Jam Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Session Rock Running Horse Free 8.30pm - 12am

Electric Banana Venue: The Social Price: £2 Times: 10.30pm - 3am

Thursdays

Motherfunker Venue: The Cookie Club Price: £1 before 11pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Homegrown Venue: Deux Price: Free Times: 7pm The best of Nottingham’s talented singer-songwriters.

Noodle Venue: Price:

Open Mic Night Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8.30 - 12am Come down at 8pm to secure a 15min slot.

Tuesdays Crash Style: Indie, Alternative Venue: Rock City Price: £3 (NUS) Times: 9.30pm - 2am Crash is Nottingham’s longest running indie night.

Open Mic Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Night Acoustic Running Horse Free 8.30pm - 12am

The Spot Free

Acoustic Tuesdays Style: Acoustic Venue: Malt Cross

The Big Wednesday Style: Alt, Rock, Pop Venue: The Cookie Club Price: £2.50 (NUS) Times: 10.30pm - 2am

Raw Photographic Collective Venue: View from The Top Price: Free A diverse range of subject matter will be showcased such as wildlife, fine art, still life and portrait, from traditional to modern. Visitors will see what can be achieved with a digital camera, a printer and some imagination. Once inspired a visitor can also find information on how to improve their own photographic skills.

Runs Until: 04/06 Beneath the surface Venue: Wax Cafe Price: free This is a small exhibition of contemporary artwork by Nottingham based student artist Julia Carter who is particularly interested in human personality, Emotion and movement. Often taking inspiration from inanimate objects and paralleling them to human existance.

Runs Until: 28/06

Friday 08/06 NTU Fine Art Degree Show Venue: Bonnington Building Price: Free Times: 10am - 5pm Runs Until: 13/06

Saturday 23/06 Hinterland Seminar Venue: Lakeside Price: £5 / £2.50 Times: 10.30am - 6pm Speakers include Isabel Vasseur, John Newling, Ulrike Solbrig, Jole Wilcke, Benno Gammerl and Dorothee Albrecht.

Sunday 24/06 Discursive Picnic Event Venue: Memorial Arch, Victoria Embankment Price: Free Times: 1pm - 5pm Unwetter have been invited by Hinterland to host a discursive picnic by the river Trent.

Alchemy Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Times: All day Runs Until: 12/08

Saturday 30/06 Lavater Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Times: 7.30pm - 9.30pm Artist Simon Warner adopts Lavater’s persona and costume to explore the work with silhouettes and magic lanterns that established the Swiss writer and cleric as a prototype photographer.

Music Saves The Day Venue: Bluu Times: 9pm - late Dogma Presents Style: Hiphop, Breaks Venue: Dogma Price: Varies Times: 9pm - 2am Various live acts every week.

Jazz Night Venue: Variety Club Price: Free Times: 7:30pm doors

words: Amanda Young photo: Emma Richardson LUX Nottingham Degree Show Festival Venue: Various Price: Free entry to all venues Times: 10am - 5pm (usually) Runs Until: 15/06

Club NME Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Indie, Rock, Alternative Stealth £2 - £4 10pm - 2am

Singer / Songwriters Night Style: Acoustic Venue: Raffles Art Cafe Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - 12am

Games Night Venue: Loft Price: Free With giant Jenga, cards, prizes and competitions.

Wigflex Style: Hiphop, DnB, Dubstep Venue: Stone Price: Free Times: 9pm - late Spamchop playing beats, breaks hiphop, techie house and all sorts else.

Natural Artifice Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Alice Maher emerged in the 1990s as one of Ireland’s leading contemporary artists. This is the first major exhibition of her work in the UK and includes representative pieces in a variety of media including sculpture, installation, drawing and photography.

Runs Until: 17/06

Tuesday 05/06

The Horseshoe Lounge Style: Country Venue: Deux Cowboy Fun! Americana, bluegrass and country.

Wednesdays

Out To Lunch Style: Jazz Venue: Dogma Price: Free Times: Afternoon

Exhibitions Friday 01/06/ In Sickness and In Health Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Runs Until: 22/07

Rise and Shine / Funk U Style: Alternative, Nineties Venue: The Cookie Club Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 10.30pm - 3am Stylus Venue: Price: Times:

Wednesdays

Looking through the lenses of your eyes, you will detect the light, be enlightened at the vision of photographic exhibits across the city. This is Lux, the eleventh annual photographic festival by students graduating from the BA Honours Photography course at Nottingham Trent University The work on show crosses boarders of contemporary photography and moving image whilst topics range from landscape, documentary to fashion and fine art.

Photographer Kamaljeet Phullar evokes a historical and contemporary confrontation in her work. She presents images of modern day figures in sitting that are part of a multi-cultural society today. However these are strongly reminiscent of the traditional western painting format of Queens and Popes.

Landscape photographer Emma Richardson’s work takes contemplative scenes and depicts a sense of serenity and wabi-sabi like qualities objects found within the images have a strange, lonely presence. Find Richardson’s work at View from the Top Gallery.

Radar Presents Style: Indy, Electro Venue: Social Price: £3 (NUS) Times: 10pm - 3am

On show from 5 - 15 June, the prints and projections can be found at established galleries, disused office and retail spaces and cafes.

Information on the projects and a map of the venues is available to download from the website: www.luxfestival.co.uk

listings...

Friday 01/06

music / weeklies / exhibitions / comedy / theatre Tuesday 03/07

Jongleurs Venue: Jongleurs Price: £13 - £15 Times: 7pm Doors Simon Clayton, Dave Fulton, Roger D and Kevin Dewsbury.

Runs Until: 02/06

Breakin’ Convention Venue: Playhouse Price: £10 - £16 Times: 7.30pm Sadler’s Wells’ acclaimed hiphop dance theatre festival, featuring local dance crews, DJs, graff, workshops and freestyling sessions in the foyers.

Saturday 02/06 The Comedy Cabin Venue: Co-op Regency Rooms Price: £8 adv / £9 Times: 7.30pm Geoff Norcott, Mark Allen, Matt Hollins and Aaron Rice.

Friday 08/06 Jongleurs Venue: Jongleurs Price: £13 - £15 Times: 7pm doors Alex Boardman, Sean Meo, Rick Right and Alistair Barrie.

Runs Until: 09/06

Sunday 10/06 An Audience With Arthur Smith Venue: Playhouse Price: £12.50 - £14 Times: 7.30pm This broadcaster, comedian and Grumpy Old Man sets the world to rights and takes questions from the audience.

Saturday 02/06

Sunday 03/06 Mark Watson Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm Plus Matt Hollins and compere Spiky Mike.

Friday 13/07 Jongleurs Venue: Jongleurs Price: £13 - £15 Times: 7pm doors Brendan Riley, The Raymond, Mr Timpkins Revue, Geoff Norcott and Carey Marx.

Runs Until: 14/07

Tuesday 17/07

Pam Ann Venue: Royal Centre Price: £15 Times: 8pm Pam Ann is the quintessential airhostess (circa 1968). She’ll take you on an extraordinary journey – from boarding to landing and she’ll do it her way.

Tuesday 05/06 Olga the Brolga Venue: Lakeside Price: £6 Times: 6pm Runs Until: 07/06

Wednesday 06/06

Friday 15/06 Jongleurs Venue: Jongleurs Price: £13 - £15 Times: 7pm doors Martin Bigpig, Tom Stade, Jason Wood and Neil Delamere.

Runs Until: 16/06

Tuesday 19/06 Should I Stay or Should I Go? Venue: Maze Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm start Twelve acts compete, each does two minutes, then audience judges with red and green cards can vote to keep them on or vote them off.

With compere Tom Wrigglesworth.

Rhod Gilbert Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm doors Plus Men With Bananas and compere Spiky Mike.

Friday 20/07 Jongleurs Venue: Jongleurs Price: £13 - £15 Times: 7pm doors Alfie Joey, Jason Rouse, Jo Caulfield and Phil Walker.

Runs Until: 21/07

Tuesday 24/07

Jim Jeffries Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm doors Al Pitcher. Compere Spiky Mike.

Warning: This show may offend.

Theatre Friday 01/06

Friday 22/06 Jongleurs Venue: Jongleurs Price: £13 - £15 Times: 7pm Doors Phil Butler, Mike Milligan and Sarah Millican.

Runs Until: 23/06

Nothing But The Truth Venue: Playhouse Price: £7 - £25 Times: 7.45pm Examining the ordinary South African’s place in hard-earned free society, reflecting on the disappointments that inevitably accompany the end of a struggle.

Runs Until: 09/06

Thursday 07/06 Beyond The Barricade Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 - £16 A cast of past principal performers from Les Miserables perform songs from Miss Saigon, The Lion King, Tell Me on a Sunday, Phantom Of the Opera, We Will Rock You, Chicago, Blood Brothers and many more, climaxing with a spectacular finale from Les Miserables.

Saturday 09/06

Thursday 21/06

Best of the Leicester Comedy Festival 2007 Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £9 / £12 Times: 8pm Rhod Gilbert, Arnab Chanda, Jim Smallman and Dan Nightingale.

Danny The Champion Of The World Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £14.50 Times: 7pm Runs Until: 16/06

Saturday 16/06

Not-nottdance -The Mysteries of Love Venue: Sandfield Theatre Price: £7 / £10 (NUS) Times: 8pm start Erna Omarsdottir, Margaret Sara and Johann Johannson, this one time Bjork collaborator visits with a two woman show.

Jason and the Argonauts Venue: Lakeside Price: £5 After being banished as a baby, our wannabe hero returns to claim his rightful throne and make some big changes.

Runs Until: 03/06

Pequenos Paraisos Venue: Lakeside Price: £6 Times: 12.30pm and 3pm A sequence of dances, glorious colours, strange props and wonderful puppets.

Runs Until: 10/06

Monday 11/06 Bedroom Farce Venue: Notts Arts Theatre Price: £7.50 / £9 Times: 7.30pm The action spills in and out of three bedrooms in three different households in one hectic night.

Runs Until: 16/06

The Italian Garden Venue: Lakeside Price: £6 Times: 6pm Runs Until: 13/06 Brief Candles Venue: Playhouse Price: £5 - £10 Times: 8pm

Tuesday 26/06 Living Under One Roof Venue: Royal Centre Price: £6 - £18 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 30/06

Thursday 28/06

Le Grand Cirque Venue: Royal Centre Price: £10 - £32.50 Times: 7.30pm Featuring world-class artists from all over the globe, this award winning show comes direct from a sold out tour of the USA where it received standing ovations at every performance Runs Until: 17/06

Monday 18/06 Charles Ross One Man Starwars Trilogy Venue: Royal Centre Price: £12 - £16 Times: 7.30pm Ross single-handedly plays all the characters, sings the music, flies the ships, fights the battles and condenses the plots of the Star Wars™ Trilogy in just sixty minutes.

Tuesday 19/06

Thursday 14/06 Alex Lasarev Venue: Grosvenor Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm start Plus Eric and compere Spiky Mike.

Tuesday 12/06

We’ll Meet Again Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 Times: 2pm A cast of singers, comedians, and musicians recall the heyday of wartime entertainment with a tribute to the great stars including Bing Crosby, Donald Peers, George Formby, Max Miller, Gracie Fields, Vera Lynn and Tessie O’Shea.

Tuesday 19/06 Tracy Beaker Gets Real Venue: Playhouse Price: £12 - £14 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 30/05

Wednesday 20/06 The Lady Boys Of Bangkok Divas Las Vegas Venue: Royal Centre Price: £14 - £18 Times: 7.30pm Sixteen transvestites direct from Bangkok in a glamorous and funny cabaret show – lavish costumes, immaculate make-up and showstopping choreography.

Wednesday 20/06 Legends Of Las Vegas Venue: Royal Centre Price: £14.50 - £16.50 Times: 7.30pm

Friday 22/06

Verve ‘07 Venue: Price: Times:

Lakeside £7 8pm

Tuesday 03/07 Matthew Bourne’s The Car Man Venue: Royal Centre Price: £10 - £28.50 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 07/07

Monday 09/07 Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Carousel Venue: Notts Arts Theatre Price: £8.50 / £10 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 14/07

Tuesday 10/07 Make Do And Mend Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £16.50 Times: 7.30pm Charting the lives of three sisters, Flo, Freddie and Beth. A heartfelt portrayal of life in Nottingham during the forties war years.

Runs Until: 14/07

Wednesday 11/07 Seussical The Musical Venue: Playhouse Price: £9 - £14 Times: 7.15pm Runs Until: 14/07

Friday 20/07 Make Way For Noddy And Friends Venue: Royal Centre Price: £10.50 Times: Matinees Runs Until: 22/7

Tuesday 31/07 Disney’s Beauty And The Beast Venue: Royal Centre Price: £10 - £30 Times: 7.30pm + matinees Runs Until: 11/08

The Meatloaf Trilogy Venue: Royal Centre Price: £17.50 - £19.50 Times: 7.30pm

Saturday 23/06 Gedling Ballet School Venue: Royal Centre Price: £10 Times: 7pm An evening of dance, with classical ballet, contemporary dance, jazz, tap and musical theatre.

To get listed on these pages, add your event to leftlion.co.uk. By doing so we’ll include you in the magazine, it’s completely free and simple to do. Use this form:

leftlion.co.uk/add Please note. We try to ensure that all events are correct at time of print, but please check before you set off to avoid disappointment.

If you’ve got a brain and would like the opportunity to kill it with alcohol, the LeftLion Pub Quiz at the Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road is where you should be every Wednesday. The fun starts about 9pm, but come earlier, because it gets rammed out dead quick. We give a gallon of beer to the winning team, the quizmaster’s Nana gets on her Bontempi organ for a few tunes and the Fish Man comes round when he feels like it.

Here’s a sample of what we’ve been asking recently…

FAGS 6. Which brand of fags has the translated slogan ‘Freedom Always’ on the packet?

7. According to urban legend, which brand of fags has the words ‘Orobl Jew’ on the packet and is sponsored by the Ku Klux Klan?

8. Which packet of fags is alleged to have a hidden image of a lad with his cock out?

9. According to another urban legend, which brand of fags got its name from their practice of putting one spliff in with every hundred fags?

10. What is the top-selling fag in the UK? FOOD AND DRINK 11. What alcoholic drink is created by the processes of scratting and pressing?

12. What spirit is used more than any other in the making of cocktails?

13. Which European country is credited with the invention of Sambuca?

14. Juniper berries are the prime ingredient of which spirit?

15. What spirit is used as the base of a Mai Tai? ANIMAL MAGIC 16. Which is the only animal that can laugh when tickled?

17. What kind of animal is also slang for a hairy homosexual?

18. What kind of animal is a yellowjacket?

19. Which British animal lives on moles, mice, rats, voles and squirrels?

20. Which animal featured in Madonna’s video for Like A Virgin?

NOTTINGHAMIA 21. Which part of Nottingham had a soap factory up until 1995?

22. According to the BBC TV show Seven Natural Wonders of the Midlands, which was the only natural wonder in Nottingham?

23. One of the families in Dynasty shared the same name as which part of Nottingham?

24. Which TV station is planning a remake of Saturday Night and Sunday Morning?

25. Within 10 years either side, when was the Arboretum opened?

MAVERICK ROUND – ASSORTED FILTH 26. Figging is the anal insertion of what item?

27. Which current band is named after a sexual position for lesbians?

28. What is queening?

29. Tricophilia is the sexual worship of which part of the body?

30. If you’re giving someone a Roman Shower, what are you doing to them?

TV THEME TUNE LYRICS 1. Monkey 2. Frasier 3. The Goodies 4. Jamie And The Torch 5. Red Dwarf FAGS 6. Gauloise 7.

Marlboro 8. Camel 9. Lucky Strike 10. Lambert And Butler FOOD AND DRINK 11. Cider 12. Vodka 13. Italy 14. Gin 15.

Rum ANIMAL MAGIC 16. Rats 17. Bear 18. Wasp 19. Badgers 20. A Lion NOTTINGHAMIA 21. Basford 22. The Major Oak 23.

Carrington 24. ITV 25. 1852 (1842-1862) MAVERICK ROUND - ASSORTED FILTH 26. Ginger 27. Scissor Sisters 28. Sitting On Your Partner’s Face 29. Hair Vomiting On Them

TV THEME TUNE LYRICS 1. He knew every magic trick under the sun, to tease the gods and everyone can have some fun.

2. But I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. They’re callin’ again.

3. G - You need a helping hand. O- You know we understand. OWe’ll be there to the end, everyone needs a friend 4. Wordsworth! Wordsworth! Following hard behind. Ready for adventure, always there to lend a paw...or hand!

5. I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose drinking fresh Mango juice, goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

35

words: Tom Hathaway

We never usually saw much of Gotty since he’d married and become a teacher. He’d put himself into a predictable loop of slipping the lead and sneaking out to find us in town every three or four months. Then he’d be pissed after three pints, steamboat after seven, collapso on nine and in no time home to a blazing row with the dragon, featuring the words ‘never again’.

Well, here we were again: Gotty, Tallbob Weedley and me.

Twelve pints apiece, happy as sandlads and on our way for a late one at the Rock Stop above the Hearty Goodfellow. We’d all had residencies with our respective bands there, back in the seventies and eighties, Tallbob with The Drains, me with The Jabs and Gotty with the Marvellous Hormones. Back then Gotty’s stage act featured climbing out onto the first floor window ledge and shimmying along the two inch sill then climbing back inside the far window behind the audience. Great!

Until he fell off one night and broke his arm and two ribs. But give the prat his due, he still hobbled back upstairs, through the crowd and finished the set before the ambulance arrived.

So while I was stood at the bar getting dafter by the mouthful and Tallbob was throwing Marcia around the dancefloor, Gotty was boring every fucker he could get his hands on with this self same glorious account, over and over and over - set of course back in the days before he had a missus to break his ribs for him.

Half past midnight and as the venue closed, we opted for the cheapest escape and clubbed in for a taxi back to Tallbob’s bedsit in Forest Fields. Mindful of the fact that when the bed was taken, the other two options were the chair or the floor, I immediately sank into the chair upon arrival, leaving Bob on the bed and Gotty, who had not been to this newest of Tallbob’s abodes, to puzzle over the carpet. A pint of cider apiece from the fridge and the three of us were out like lights – Gotty with his shoes off, coat over head and head on his wallet and keys.

It was around 4am that I was awakened by a pulsating bladder and decided to visit the lavatory. I shuffled around the unconscious Gotty and crept down the landing, so as not to wake him and lose the chair. Sometime later, I woke up standing there, cock still in me hand and somewhat disoriented. The first instinct was to get back to the room and, hopefully the chair. I flushed the bog and sprinted back upstairs and bastards! The door was shut. The silly bastards have shut me out for a laugh (not totally unexpected). I hammered on the door. Then again.

Then again.

‘Come on, Gotty! Open this fucking door. I’m tired and I’m cold and I’m not in the fucking mood!’

‘And I’m not fucking Gotty!’ Came the loud and angry reply.

‘Look - okay - Bob - just open it, will you mate? I’m not fussed where I kip, but I’m freezing out here. Open this fucking door now! Or there’ll be big paybacks!’ I hammered even harder.

‘An’ I’ve jiss told ye… I ain’t Gotty - and I ain’t Bob! Right! Right ye bassaa…’ Hang on a bit. He might have a point. I came upstairs. Tallbob’s room is same level as the bog, unlike his last place, where I obviously think I still am. Shit! Quick! Downstairs!

I ran down to Tallbob’s room, shut and locked the door and

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jumped into the chair, jacket over head. Ooops!

It was at around 10.30 am that I next stirred and peered out of the jacket to find Tallbob’s bloodshots peering back at me over the duvet. ‘Okay. So where’s Gotty?’ He tiresomely inquired.

‘Uh?’ I peered down at the floor. A pair of shoes. A leather jacket.

A wallet and keys. No Gotty.

‘Dunno? Has he gone for a shit? I been awake for half an hour and I didn’t hear him get up.’

‘Me neither.’ Tallbob’s eyebrows twisted slightly.

‘But… Did you hear a big ‘bang’ in the night?’

‘No? When?’

‘About fourish.’

‘No. I was up for a piss then. Heard no ‘bang’ though.’

‘Well, we’ll have a quick winker Watson then get up and look for Gotty. Are you sure you didn’t hear a big ‘bang’, though, or did I dream it?’

‘Nope!’

One winker Watson later, we got up. We checked the bog, the cellars, the loft. Everywhere. Seemed Gotty had vanished from the face of the Earth. We dressed and had a splash and were on our ways back out for a beer when one of Tallbob’s neighbours, a petite Irish beaut called Pam came through the front door.

‘Hiya there you lads!’

‘Hiya Pam! Hey, Pam we’re just off out for a beer…’

‘No…’

‘… Yeah! You’re welcome if you want, but we’re a man down. Did you by any chance hear a big ‘bang’ in the night?’

‘Ah, sure I did! It was yer man getting thrown off the balcony by yer man up there! Fell down the stairs and ran out the door before he gat killed.’

Post Mortem. It later transpired that as I returned from the piss, I woke up Gotty, who soon decided that he needed a piss too.

Sadly for him, he had made the identical mistake to me and gone upstairs afterwards to the same wrong room, by which time the door was open and the Scottish nutter up there was sitting on his bed, lacing up his Doc Martens to come out and kick my head in with. Unfortunately, the half asleep Gotty had gone and got in his bed behind him and got thrown off the balcony and chased downstairs for his life. Impossible to return, he then had to walk barefoot, jacketless, keyless and penniless home to Arnold, where he found a note saying his wife had gone to her mother’s.

He then was seen by a short sighted neighbour breaking into his house and the police were called instantly and he was arrested and banged up until the dragon decided to come home and identify him.

Oh, and did I mention his injuries? One broken arm and several cracked ribs. Remember, young Hoodlums… those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Take care out there.

If you would like your work published on this page, visit the creative writing forum at www.leftlion.co.uk/forum and start posting. Each issue we select the best submissions for the magazine.

ONE POEM.

WAGS War poem

What’s one more poem Upon years of others Literary genius?

What difference can come From a few, mumbled words, A few poorly constructed stanzas?

Can they make it?

Drowning, under a sea of garish Fluorescent, paperbacks?

I read in the paper (So it must be true) that to be a footballers wife there are things you must do.

There was a debate in order to plough through Of brain versus beauty Of them versus you.

They fought girls from all corners Women from all lands They all bleached their hair and manicured their hands.

They banished rivals to non-VIP The second rate land And stuck up the finger On their left hands.

The main of it seemed to centre On intellect versus arse Of a personality to see through Noses covered in cast.

The face must be pretty The mind should be blank Stalin is not heard of Nor are the war’s tanks.

For you see they have made it and made it in time to start having babies getting diamonds that shine.

They don’t know what work is Or where is Iraq They think soldiers that die Are singers that rap.

The world is a small place All they know are their names Where last seasons handbags Are true things of shame.

The thing hardest to swallow Is not that they are lucky But that they fought hard to be there They all were so plucky.

But the saddest thing of all Is that they are flaunted On the papers’ front pages Aside mothers that are haunted.

While intelligence suffers Beauty parades, They are made more real than our Wars charade.

Do they stand a chance?

Very little I think.

Will they change, However, Picture of a single drop Of hot blood poured Into a sea of tepid water, And from how far It can be seen, We may just make it yet.

Callmadman

China

Girlie

It makes no difference where we go, it’s all the same inside We sat on a bus Still broken from the night before, As my lover snorted cocaine From her lap And rubbed her fingers Through my hair, ‘Don’t look at her!’ she screamed ‘Your mine and mine alone you Fucking whore!’ And I smiled into her So she beat me around the face, ‘You shouldn’t need to know Other women’ she called, The bus driver eventually Threw us off, screaming That she needed to sleep it off go rest, ‘Go fuck yourself!’ She howled, That brought me to laughter So she pushed me to the floor, And I watched her walk so confident, So content in marching home, I fumbled with a cigarette And waited up against that wall, Watching feet skim my toecaps And a blue centipede, crawl across My vein.

And the bar finally opened And so did I across the street Some six, hours later Skipping home on my drunken feet To her torn arms of beauty, We made love, talked of love Wept and fell asleep In clothes lined with blood, Sweet wine and all the gutters Charms, and I loved her on that day.

Callmadman

You Half-Croatian, Piano-playing, Boat-dwelling Somewhere in London.

A friend I was with Called you ‘doll girl’ Because, she said, You looked like a china doll.

You stood out.

‘She was so Beautiful’, she said.

That was you. Then I, In a rage of desperation,

Wanted only to hear you say ‘I’ll stay’, and forgot All your other aspects, Which were pale before the absence Coming quickly towards us out of the future.

Or at least I thought so.

By the time I remembered, You had seen the emptiness In it and were gone.

I remember everything now.

Infinite Monkeys

juvenile juvenilia ...and people keep talking, talking about people and their life and times, but without a knowing wink.

I just smile politely and look down at my drink. traffic lights: stop. easy enough when you know what’s what but I didn’t, and just kept on going.

some walk in spaces left that’s me sleeping on the motorway, drifting out to sea freedom unlike anchored memory.

I left them at the dock and waved them off. mr chafe

Bryan Adams and the stiff-necked kids ‘Uh-Oh: Lookout, here comes Bryan Adams.’

‘Shit. Has he got his guitar with him?’

‘Yup.’ ‘Bollocks. Pretend we haven’t seen him.’

‘Too late, he’s spotted us…All right Bry? How’s tricks old son?’

‘Hi guys! Good to see ya! Mind if I sit down?’

Bryan sat down, laid his guitar at his feet and hurriedly took a yellowed newspaper from his back pocket.

‘Guys,’ he started, ‘have you seen this article on stiff-necked children? It’s a huge problem in the States right now and I’m trying to organise a petition to take to the government about it. Care to sign?’

‘I’m afraid we take no interest in the matter, Bryan. We’re liberals.’

‘Oh.’ Bryan looked downcast. We could sense one of his infamous lectures about to start.

‘You know guys, stiff-necked kids are just like you and me: only with stiffer necks. They are deserving of our time and attention: we owe them a certain happiness, don’t ya think?’

He looked imploringly at both of us in turn, his moral impulse throbbing like a beacon, his humanity precious and humbling.

‘Thing is Bry, and I don’t mean to be critical here, but you’re always on about something or other. Last week it was the plight of irritated snakes, the week before that it was the sea changing colour at night…we can’t keep up son!’

Bryan sighed extravagantly and smiled grimly to himself. His mind, as always, was racing.

‘What if I sang you my stiff-necked kid song, would that help?’ His eagerness was like a weapon, wielded by a monster. He picked up his guitar and began to strum.

‘One… two…a one two three four, If you ever get to see a stiff-necked kid, Don’t go and ask him what he did.

It hurts like hell When your neck’s not well, Stiff-necked kiii-id, Stiff-necked kid.’

Bryan stopped abruptly, a sadly beautiful look in his eye. He appeared dazzled by his own composition, exasperated at the failure of the world to listen to his message.

‘Well, waddya think guys?’

‘Its got a certain icy something I suppose. Reminds me of the reflection of the setting sun.’

‘It filled me with inexplicable fear. Is that a good thing?’

Bryan thought for a moment, scratching his arms as he did so. We waited for him to speak…

Cal Gibson

Prize winning prick It’s because I’m old, he said, I didn’t understand, the official looking letter said I’d won 200 grand.

All I had to do was pop a cheque off in the post for £2000, £3000, £4000 at the most.

Is that right my aged and decrepit friend? £2000, £3000, £4000 was all you had to send?

Did you not once stop to question why they might need your funds, As your cash hungry tongue licked around your toothless, greedy gums?

No I didn’t think of it young man, and now I’m destitute!

I had such vivid dreams of champagne and prostitutes.

Now I’ve lost my life savings to some conning git.

They should be strung up one by one, the evil, robbing shits.

I’m sorry but my sympathy ran out in the first stanza.

Your brain cells are more remote than shagging to a panda I believe that you were suckered in because you’re rather dense And the size of your stupidity is something quite immense.

“How can you be so heartless? I was in the Evening Post” “’Local pensioner conned’” but I really shouldn’t boast.”

“I told them all about the way they took advantage of me” “I was even interviewed for local news, I might be on TV!” So let me get this straight, you’re a poor defenceless chap?

Yet you still have the savvy to get your face on the local map No doubt you’ll receive charity from local, kind hearted folk And you will be most grateful that you’re no longer broke.

Errrrrr…

No! Just button it right there, you’re boring me to bits You’re the one who’s guilty and used age to get you out of this You may have lost your life savings to some conning git.

But ultimately it is your fault, you old and foolish shit.

Jack Twatt

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue17

37

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Libra (September 24 - October 23)

I had a dream about your mum, your dad and your uncle the other day. It wasn’t a rude dream or anything. We were all just sat around having a tea party, rather like the chimps from the old PG Tips adverts. It was good fun and the Earl Grey was particularly good. You would have liked it…

The stars are aligning to form the shape of a golden eagle laying an egg in a nest of wild beavers.

What this means is that over the next month you might find yourself on a dangerous collision course with various kinds of birds and mammals blocking your way. Watch out duck!

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)

When Pluto enters Venus with his full thrusting power, you better hope that a forcefield was activated or the patter of tiny planet feet may be heard somewhere in the cosmos. It’s a beautiful thing when new worlds are born, but you need to make sure the stars are ready and prepared for their arrival.

I’m horny, horny, horny, horny, So horny, horny, horny, horny. I search from town to town but I can’t find my boo. I got so desperate that I sent a rocket to the moon. In New York City, someone said they saw you singing the blues. But it was a man from nowhere land that looked like you.

Gemini (May 22 - June 22) You’re about to take a journey across the Atlantic and may end up staying there for some time.

You’ll be leaving behind lots of friends and memories you’ve made over the last year, but please please (for gods sake) take the accent with you. There are enough people talking like hillbillies in this world. Your tattoos are hip!

Cancer (June 23 - July 23)

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) To remove the smell of bleach from your hands after a hard day of cleaning (as well as that slimy feeling) pour a little vinegar or lemon juice over your hands then rinse. The bleach is alkaline whereas vinegar and lemon are acid, so they cancel each other out and balance the pH of your skin.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 19)

Do you know a guy called Pete? I met him the other day at a party and he said he knew you back in the day. I told him you hadn’t read this yet, but he said to say hello from him when you did. He also said he lent you a book ages ago and he wants it back. Sounded a bit dodgy to me…

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. It might seem simple enough to want to get it off your chest, but think how you would feel if they told others about it as well. At least that way it wouldn’t be a secret anymore I suppose. Don’t get pissy with short people just because they can’t look you in the eye.

Leo (July 24 - August 23)

Aquarius (January 20 - February 19)

Are you ready to die yet? If not then make the most of what you have left. You never know when the reaper might rear his head around the corner and there are so many things for you to see and do before then. Whatever happens just tackle each day like it might be the last and you’ll lead a fulfilling life..

Your health is a blessing and your mind and body are yours to do what you want with. If you push them too far one way then they may prove difficult to get back. But you have the power within you do to overcome even the greatest obstacles. Then you can write about them and sell it for millions.

Virgo (August 24 - September 23) When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did. But if this ever-changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry. Just live and let die!

Pisces (February 20 - March 20) If you stick your tongue out while chopping onions it will stop your eyes from watering and you won’t look like a big girl. But you might still look like you have some issues. Alternatively, chop the onion close to a running tap. Apparently the chemicals in the onions go for the nearest source of liquid.

SMOKIN G BAN SPECIAL!

SMOKING INDOORS

Health effects: Cancer

Health effects: Cancer oke

Pub/ Club stench: Sm

ns

A few

Flir ting opportunities:

Irritable punters: A few

38

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Pub/ Club stench: Far Risk to clothes: Rain

Risk to clothes: Fag bur Flir ting opportunities:

SMOKING OUTDOORS

Irritable punters: Lots

ts

Lots

NOTTINGHAM TRENTUNIVERSITY ART&DESIGN EVENTS2007

FINE ART DECORATIVE ARTS GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY MULTIMEDIA THEATRE DESIGN DESIGN FOR FILM & TELEVISION TEXTILE DESIGN FASHION KNITWEAR DESIGN

UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE SHOWS JUNE 8 - 12 2007 open 10am - 5pm daily (Sun till 4pm)

FASHION DESIGN FASHION & TEXTILE MANAGEMENT FASHION MARKETING & COMMUNICATION

POSTGRADUATE MA EXPOSITION JULY 14 & JULY 16 - 21 2007 ART & DESIGN OPEN EVENTS 2007 July 25 / Sept 22 / Oct 20 / Oct 24 / Nov 7 degree show information: www.ntu.ac.uk/ntushow email: ntsad@ntu.ac.uk open event booking: www.ntu.ac.uk tel: 0115 848 8278 email: ntsadopendays@ntu.ac.uk

INTERNATIONAL FASHION BUSINESS PRODUCT DESIGN FURNITURE & PRODUCT DESIGN INTERIOR ARCHITECTURE & DESIGN