LeftLion Magazine - August 2007 - Issue 18

contents

LeftLion Magazine Issue 18 August-September 2007

6.

Refugees in Nottingham

8.

A Canadian in New Basford

10. Just The Tonic in Edinburgh / NotInNottingham 11. Mat Rhodes 12. The Happy Mondays 13. Scout Niblett 14. Computerman and Swimming 15. Zoe Johnston 16. David Blazye and Tim McDonald 17. Paul Kaye and Jonathan Glazer 18. Chris Summerlin 23. Artists Profiles 24. Duncan Hamilton 25. Eight great books about Notts football 26. Out and About 28. Momentum Festival 35. LeftLion Pub Quiz 36. Creative writing and Notts Abroad 37. Creative writing forum 38. Horrorscopes, The Arthole and Notts Trumps

Technical Director Alan Gilby (alan@leftlion.co.uk) Marketing and Sales Manager Ben Hacking (ben@leftlion.co.uk) Artistic Director Dave Reason (mail@woot-design.co.uk) Art Editor Amanda Young (amanda@leftlion.co.uk) Theatre Editor Adrian Bhagat Community Editor Charlotte Kingsbury (charlotte@leftlion.co.uk) Literature Editor James Walker (books@leftlion.co.uk) Listings Editor Tim Bates (timmy@leftlion.co.uk) Florence Gohard (florence@leftlion.co.uk) Photography Editor

The direct origins of LeftLion date back to earlier in 2003 when Alan, Timmy and I all sat around in a pub together discussing how we wanted to put something out there to cover culture that didn’t always get picked up on by more traditional established local media. The fact it’s still going strong is testament to the talented and dedicated people who have joined forces with us and proves that Nottingham really needed something like this in the first place.

We spoke to a few high-profile graduates of Art and Design courses at Nottingham Trent University including film director Jonathan Glazer, actor and comedian Dennis Pennis and singer songwriter Scout Niblett. All three of them have left our fair city for pastures new, but still spoke fondly to us about their time in Hoodtown and fly the flag for us.

We try to predict the chances of our local football teams in the coming season, get a Canadian to try and understand the Nottingham-Derby rivalry, look at some of the best Nottingham-related footy books going and put questions to Cloughie biographer and former Evening Post hack Duncan Hamilton about Old Big ‘Ead. There’s plenty more too. A slightly random interview with Happy Mondays frontman Shaun Ryder, a chat with Zoe Johnston of Faithless about her Nottingham roots, coverage of local artists Chris Summerlin and Mat Rhodes and all the usual features you have come to love us for.

credits Deputy Editors Al Needham (nishlord@leftlion.co.uk) Nathan Miller (njm@leftlion.co.uk)

Welcome to the eighteenth issue of LeftLion Magazine.

This bad boy actually marks our fourth birthday too. It was back on 1 September 2003 that our website first went live offering articles about creative people from our town, a database of event listings going on around us and (a few weeks later) a forum that people could talk to each other on and use as a refuge from their boring day jobs. A year after this we managed to get some funds together and put out a printed magazine and we haven’t looked back since.

In this issue we cover quite a lot of ground. We take a look at refugees in Nottingham and the trials they go through to lead a standard of life that most of us take for granted. By contrast we also pay a visit to the Variety Club in Radford, a place well known around these parts, but certainly not for its sensitivity towards people’s race and ethnicity nor indeed its sensitivity towards anything.

20. The Variety Club

Editor Jared Wilson (jared@leftlion.co.uk)

editorial

Here’s to another four years. Woop woop!

Dom Henry (dom@leftlion.co.uk) Photographers Al Greer Ben Dennis Debbie Whitmore John Hollins Jon Blackmore Jon Mclean Kevin Lake Rob Marsden Shula Harris Illustrators Alasdair Couch Rob White (robwhite@thearthole.co.uk) Si Mitchell (simonmitchell23@hotmail.com) Chris Summerlin Contributors Martin Naylor Michael Simon NFFC Blog Rob Cutforth Roger Mean Samuel Rogers Tommy Goodall Sound Bloke Mike Cheque

Scanning skills Darren Nunn ‘I think one should write, as nearly as possible, as if he were the first person on earth and was humbly and sincerely putting on paper that which he saw and experienced and loved and lost; what his passing thoughts were and his sorrows and desires.’

Neal Cassady Correspondence Address LeftLion has moved. Our new address is: LeftLion, care of Stone Soup, The Oldknows Factory, St Anns Hill Road, NG3 4GP If you would like to reach our readers by advertising your company in these pages please contact Ben on 07843 944910 or email ben@leftlion.co.uk LeftLion has an estimate readership of 40,000 in the city of Nottingham. In July 2007 LeftLion. co.uk received over 500,000 page views.

This magazine is printed on paper sourced from sustainable forests. Our printers are ISO 14001 certified by the British Accreditation Bureau for their environmental management system.

jared@leftlion.co.uk

Cover Star Lewis draws stupid faces and psychedelic doodles.

Branching out from the poster work he cut his teeth on, he now draws on anything that looks good with ink on it. He is also the Mighty Funk Collective’s founder and co-honcho, and hopes to carry on pretty much as he is. www.lewisheriz.com

Last Issue’s Cover Star (who we forgot to mention then... oops!)

Simon Mitchell is 26 and very similar to Garfield. He likes lasagna and doesn’t like Mondays or dogs with massively long tongues, but he’s not orange all over.

He drew the banner on this page for us at very late notice. Anyway shower him with your money and buy some inexpensive artwork. www.simitchell.co.uk

Magic Dude Jack Curtis www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

3

FOREST MOVING TO CLIFTON? So I guess the old City Ground will be turned into ‘luxury’ flats? What do Forest fans think of this move? A 50,000 seat stadium? They must have some plans for the team...

Vinyladdict Pissed off! I’ve lived less than five minutes from the ground for the last 15 years. No chance we’re filling that kind of capacity in the near future anyway.

Beast of the Bay You’ll still be a crap club living in the past.

Tom Sawyer Terrible, should keep the club near the City Centre, part of Nottingham. Walking distance from town, seeing all the crowds over Trent Bridge, it’s all part of Forest. Not moving into some sterile stadium that was picked out of a brochure, looks like every other club’s and will probably be named after some global brand in a weak sponsorship deal. ketch The whole thing just seems a bit ridiculous. Maybe an attempt to sell more season tickets? I can just hear it now: ‘The mist’s rolling in from Clifton, and it’s all, it’s always to be... Capital One Ground, Capital One Ground.’

Alan So the millions of pounds spent on the ground in the 90s - that would otherwise would have gone on decent players (or more rubbish Italians) - have been pissed up the wall then. Morons. Isn’t this just a continuation of the big mard-on Forest are having at the Council over their loan agreement?

‘If you don’t give us what we want, we’re going to force you to chuck loads of money at Clifton and completely fuck up your plans for Southside’?

Lord of the Nish The two women from Clifton who work in my office are distraught after applying to move to a new over-55’s retirement village being built right next to the proposed site. megamanX Those out-of-town football grounds are horrible. It mystifies me that any club would want to have one out of choice. cheque

RAIN, RAIN, GO AWAY This fucking weather! And they laughed when Lidl started selling kayaks. Laughed.

Lord of the Nish I love a good electrical storm. Unless I’m at an outdoor event or running one. Or stood on a flat open moor, wearing nothing but a C3PO outfit with a giant 50m rod coming out my head, having a piss onto a railway line. myhouse-yourhouse I reckon the annual Majik barbecue is gonna look like We Are The Champions. themn Knee depth stream of water running across the front of my building and ankle depth flooding round the back last night.

TheAllSeeingPie Just started raining in Colwick Park when I was precisely half way around, leaving me two options: 1. Swim back through middle of lake 2. Walk all the way back round I picked 2, but may have been less wet if I’d picked 1.

Badgaaar Getting wet in the summer though, is not really that much of a problem compared to when you get all wet and cold in winter. I quite like getting wet by summer rain ‘cos you dry off real quick.

Sara You do if it ever stops.

The New Jersey Marathon

4

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham www.leftlion.co.uk/blog 1 June

Clumber Street – the universe’s busiest shopping thoroughfare, remember – is cordoned off for a bit when some bint sprays an unknown substance (probably some perfume she bought off the street for a fiver called Tommy Highflyer or summat) in the O2 shop. Two people are treated in the QMC for nausea and vomiting, but then again they could have just caught the stench from McDonalds whilst looking at some rank Nike trainers in the Foot Locker window.

5 June

Someone in Hollywood lifts his face from a pile of cocaine long enough to announce that the latest Robin Hood film will be called Nottingham. For some reason, my suggestion – Another Shit Movie With Loads Of Ponce Actors Mincing About In Tights With Cockney Accents – seems to have been lost in the post.

9 June

Aldi in Hucknall is raided by a gang of robbers who make off with bags of cash. If they’d have been really shrewd, they could have nicked loads of welding masks for a fiver each, or 500 tins of squid in tomato sauce.

down for the want of £65,000. Never mind, before too long, we’ll be getting a new multi-million arts centre that local people won’t use either.

5 July

The Council announce plans to slap a £350 per year price tag on parking in town, which will cost more than most people’s cars. By 2014, it’ll be cheaper to buy a car out of the Post, leave it at work and buy another one the next week.

11 July

The Warehouse Love Zoo, nee Cuba Libre, gives up its licence after the police come down on it for being the site of a stabbing.

Not for having an incredibly rammell new name that makes it sound like an early 90s Channel 4 yoof programme hosted by Hufty, or whatever she was called. Meanwhile, Viccy Centre is shut down for a bit when a suspect package is discovered in the car park. Probably something tasteful and not bought in a chain shop.

13 July

A spate of skip and wheelie bin fires sweeps through Arnold, which could be construed as evidence of Satanic ritual-killings, if they could find any virgins knocking about there.

17 June Someone throws a petrol bomb into a kebab shop on Mansfield Road. If they really wanted to shut the business down, they would have been a lot smarter and chucked in one of those scary tramps that always hassle you for fags and bus fare to non-existent homes in Bulwell when you’re on your way to the Fleece.

A kid from the Meadows gets a life sentence for shooting another kid from the Meadows, while they were playing at being drug dealers.

18 June

17 July

The New Old Market Square gets knackered up already when the water feature starts leaking like a fat bird in the doorway of Debenhams. Incidentally, it’s crap, isn’t it? Back in the day, all you had to do was empty 300ml of squeezy liquid in the fountain. Now you have to stand there for ages, trying to get a dribble of water into a bottle of Head and Shoulders. Rubbish.

20 June

The heads of Notts County fans finally explode with laughter like that scene in Scanners, when Nottingham Forest put a £50m cart before a Third Division horse by announcing plans to move out of the City Ground to a purpose-built soulless identikit stadium in Clifton that looks like a massive bog with a red toilet seat, in order to win the right to host Potatovia v The People’s Republic of Macaroon and two other games in a 2018 World Cup that England have no chance of winning anyway because the FA couldn’t even organise a fight in the Thurland, the stupid, stupid, stupid bellends. It’ll make a great venue for that local derby with Hucknall Town in the Conference North next decade.

26 June

Bar Humbug finally retains the right to allow skint students to get their tits out to What’s Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner in front of office boys who are too scared to go to Forest Road.

But not before 9pm on weekdays, because that’s when the kids are safely tucked up in a pub round the Square.

31 June

The last chance to nick a pub ashtray, piss a nub-end from one end of the urinal to the other, have a cheeky one-skinner in the corner and lord it over a student with a paintbrush and bucket comes and goes after the smoking ban in pubs finally kicks in. See you outside, with a timecoded wristband on so the bouncers will let us back in…

3 July

The Nottingham Arts Centre – (which gave the world Mother Nottingham herself, Su Pollard) announces it will be shutting

16 July

A bell-end from Basford who has evidently watched Shogun Assassin far too many times attacks someone on the tram with a meat cleaver concealed in a baby’s pushchair, with the assistance of his minging missus and some other twat. The police are still examining the pushchair for blades hidden in the wheels or samurai swords secreted in the handle.

18 July

One third of our student population are given a roll of paper and told to piss off and get a job at Capital One. It’s reassuring that the last time you ever see those who have blighted The Social for the last three years with their show-off haircuts and braying opinions about fuck all, they’re invariably sitting in the window of the Cornerhouse Pizza Hut with Mummy and Daddy looking like absolute spanners.

19 July

The (other) Colin Gunn trial begins, with allegations of paying off bent detectives a-plenty. Meanwhile, Meadows Shitbag 1 and Meadows Shitbag 2 have their appeals over the murder of Danielle Beccan rubber-stamped with the words; “No, Mate”. Oh, and Notts Police is ranked joint-worst performing in the country along with Manchester.

20 July

If you’re in town and you want some water, tough shit; a mains pipe bursts in Parliament Street, rendering the City Centre devoid of water. Mind you, you could have left a skip out, as it’s been pissing it down all summer because even God hates this miserable country nowadays. Sulk.

21 July

Ilkeston Council announce plans to spend loads of money to reopen the local swimming pool. Plans to spend even more money to improve the gene pool remain unannounced.

LeftEyeOn Gallery

Some choice cuts from our online galleries at www.leftlion.co.uk

Clockwise from top left...

12 Bore - Sikh bhangra collective, playing at Chill In The Park on 1 July. Photo by Al Greer.

Prohibition - Audio Massage saw out smoking in style with a Prohibition-themed send off at the Maze on 30 June.

Photo by Andy and Lisa @ Audio Massage.

Ziggy Marley and Leftlion - Keen footballer Ziggy Marley hooked up with members of the LeftLion crew for a match before his Rock City gig on 28 June. Photo by Rob Marsden.

Creatives on the Square - 10 July saw all manner of Notts creative folk gather by the LeftLion on Market Square as part of the Nottingham Creative Business Awards 2007, a celebration of creative talent in Notts. Photo by Jon Mclean.

Tram Town - Looking north into the city from the station tram terminal. Photo by Kevin Lake.

Carnival Couture - One of the cool costumes which helped bring some sunshine to our murky summer as part of the Nottingham Carnival which wound its way throught town on Sunday 8 July on the way to a big ol’ shindig at the Forest recreation ground.

Photo by Dom Henry.

Starbuck City - One of the three staking out our city centre, guess which one it is. Photo by Jon Blackmore.

Canalside - A great spot to watch life and the canal boats pass by, even better with a pint of tasty ale from the Navigation Inn opposite. Photo by Jon Blackmore. www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

5

Shelter From The Storm What do the Mini, fish and chips, Marks & Spencer and the Bank of England have in common? Cornerstones of British culture? Well, yes. And like many other truly British things, we have refugees fleeing persecution in their homelands to thank for them. words: Charlotte Kingsbury From what you hear in Parliament and the press, you’d be forgiven for thinking we were overrun with bogus asylum seekers, taking our taxes and lolling on free furniture in des-res council homes. In actual fact, the number of asylum seekers in this country is now at its lowest for almost twenty years, the process by which asylum seekers need to prove their legitimacy has never been as strict (and dehumanising) as it is now; claimants can expect to be finger-printed, questioned, medically examined, imprisoned and otherwise treated like a criminal suspect. All this after a life-threatening journey, perhaps in the hands of money-grabbing smugglers, to escape terrible persecution whilst grieving the loss of loved ones who have been left behind or who have already died. Serves them right for not asking whatever dictatorship they were running away from for their passport, birth certificate and life savings before coming here, eh?

As for the suggestion that they come here to live off our generous benefits system, asylum seekers aren’t actually allowed to work (although many are trained in skills we could do with), so are given basic financial support. This is 30% less than the entitlement of a UK adult and is sometimes given in food vouchers which means they can’t be spent on ‘luxuries’ like sanitary protection, medicine, babies’ nappies, phone calls or legal support. Oh, or bus fares to the reporting centre in Loughborough which all Nottingham-based asylum seekers have to regularly attend, even if they’re disabled, speak no English or have small children. Many even make the twenty mile journey on foot, so keen are they to remain within the strict rules.

‘It takes about seven hours each way, but they’ll do it because they have to’, says Charlotte Robinson of the Refugee Forum.

‘They used to be able to report to the Police Station on Shakespeare Street but then the rules were changed. We did an organised march to the Loughborough reporting centre earlier this year to highlight the problems faced by people making their way there regularly. I’m currently trying to negotiate with the authorities for a blind man to be able to report elsewhere, or at least less often, but I’m not getting very far at the moment.’

Other than prejudice and bureaucratic hoop-jumping, destitution is the major issue facing Nottingham’s asylum seeking and refugee community. Those who have been refused asylum are at the worst risk, as they cease to receive support unless they agree to be deported. Many are still terrified of going back, fearing imprisonment, torture and death on their return. Alma Repesa at Refugee Action Nottingham points out that, ‘whilst they may not have been able to satisfy the high threshold of the law in terms of evidencing individualised persecution, their fear

6

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

needs to be acknowledged and they need to be supported until it is safe for them to return’. Instead of voluntarily returning, refused asylum seekers often go underground, being exploited for cheap labour in very unsavoury work and, if lucky, being supported by others in the asylum seeking/refugee communities who are already living on a very low income themselves. Even those refugees who have been granted leave to remain are sometimes left homeless; there aren’t enough temporary spaces in night shelters or homeless hostels. The homes which are provided to refugees and asylum seekers are almost always excouncil housing in the nastiest parts of town.

Asylum seekers from around 65 different countries have been sent (or ‘dispersed’) to Nottingham by the government since 2000. As in the rest of the UK they only form around 0.5% of the local population. Almost none of them get to choose which country they’re sent to – being at the whim of people smugglers – and similarly they don’t decide to come to Nottingham. Yet it seems that here at least, they are treated with more warmth than in some other parts of the country. Speaking with women at Nottingham’s Refugee Forum, who come from countries such as Cameroon, the Congo, Eritrea and Zimbabwe, they told me how friendly and kind Nottingham people have been to them, especially contrasted with their experiences in other cities.

There are still problems, though. Sadly, some support groups have been forced to go ex-directory, relying on directed marketing and word of mouth to alert asylum seekers, refugees and genuine supporters to their existence. ‘When our address was in the public domain, we’d sometimes get a load of abuse at our doorstep, especially on Friday and Saturday nights when people were coming home drunk and aggravated,’ said one agency.

One way in which local support groups are working to tackle this kind of ignorant, hateful behaviour is through Refugee Action’s Refugee Awareness Project, which Nottingham is part of along with Derby, Liverpool and Bristol. The project trains teams of refugee and British volunteers to go out to local groups, listen to their concerns and explain what life is like as a refugee. The three-year project holds sessions with a wide variety of recipients, ranging from schools and business groups to sports clubs and tenants’ associations. It gives people the opportunity to meet and chat with a real refugee, learn about their history and reasons for being here and opens people’s eyes to the contribution that refugees can and do make to local communities.

Celebrating these contributions was a key element of June’s

Refugee Week. This UK wide festival started in 1998, but this was the first time that Nottingham took part. Plays, music and art workshops, parties and public debates were held all over Nottingham, from Sneinton Allotments to the Market Square. The performance of the Asylum Monologues at the Vine Centre was not only very moving, it was packed out.

There are other events taking place regularly in Nottingham, put on by those who want to show solidarity and are appalled by the ill treatment of those in need. No Borders Nottingham regularly demonstrate on behalf of the asylum seeking community, most recently protesting the return of refused asylum seekers, including young children, to the Democratic Republic of the Congo where there is great unrest and generalised violence due to the ‘African World War’ – the bloodiest conflict since the second World War. There’s still much work to do improving the lot of Nottingham’s asylum seekers, but they, the agencies dedicated to working with them and the local community are together trying to show that Nottingham can be a welcoming, supportive and all round brilliant place to be, whether you were born here or just fortunate enough to find a new, safe home in Hoodtown.

Over-run with refugees?

•

Nearly two-thirds of all refugees are hosted by the Middle East, Asia and Africa. Europe hosts less than a quarter of the world’s refugees, with the UK hosting only around 3.5%. The number of people applying for asylum in the UK is now at its lowest level since 1989.

•

The UK refugee population is only about 0.5% of the total UK population. This means it ranks 33rd in the world for its refugee population in relation to its overall population.

•

The UK ranks 56th in the world for the refugee population it has in relation to its overall wealth. Often, much poorer countries offer asylum to many more refugees, for example Pakistan and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

•

We allow over 100,000 more migrants in to work here than we get asylum seekers. The number of foreign students is ten times more - 300,000 per year compared to 30,000 or so asylum seekers.

the people in the know...

Bluffer’s Guide

Nottingham and Nottinghamshire Refugee Forum Charlotte Robinson, Centre Manager The NNRF was set up in 2000 by concerned volunteers to be a kind of befriending service when the new dispersal policy came into effect. We run social events, community meetings and women’s groups, as well as campaigning, fund-raising and general holistic support. Many of our volunteers, including our management committee, are refugees and asylum seekers too.

Working with the Home Office can be extremely frustrating, as they tend to see people as numbers. Not all people appeal if they aren’t granted leave to remain, often because they can’t get the legal support, but of those who do 20% are then successful, meaning that at least one in five initial decisions made are wrong.

We try to keep the atmosphere as positive as possible so that it can be a respite for our clients from their worries. They can have a cup of tea, go on the internet, make new friends and learn new skills here. What we really need are volunteers and donations. No special skills are required to volunteer, just a willingness to help. Although if any readers happen to speak Ethiopian or Eritrean languages, that would be fantastic! We also always need French interpreters, as there are many people here from French-speaking countries. www.nottsrefugeeforum.org.uk 0115 9415599 info@nottsrefugeeforum.org.uk

(From Mobiles, Money and Mayhem: The Facts and Fibs about Asylum produced by Refugee Action and available from them)

Asylum Seeker A person who: • Flees their homeland • Arrives in another country • Makes themselves known to the authorities • Exercises their legal right to apply for asylum

Refugee A person who: • Has proved that they would face persecution back home • Has had a successful asylum application • Is allowed to stay in that country by the authorities

Refused Asylum Seeker

Refugee Action Alma Repesa, Deputy Manager Refugee Action is an independent national charity, providing information, advice and an independent advocacy service. We also support people considering voluntary return.

People become asylum seekers through no choice of their own and usually as a last resort. Their main need, apart from basic things such as food and shelter, is to be treated like human beings and be allowed to build new lives for themselves.

People fleeing wars and generalised violence are usually not recognised as refugees in the

legal sense and it’s very frustrating not being able to help them. It’s often the case that when we actually find out more about the circumstances in countries where people have fled from, the painful experience of becoming a refugee and living in exile, that we realise how unjust negative portrayals of asylum seekers and refugees really are. www.refugee-action.org.uk/nottingham 0115 941 8552 Albion House, 3rd floor, 5-13 Canal St, Nottingham NG1 7EG

A person who: • Hasn’t proved that they would face persecution back home • Has had their application turned down • Is told to leave the country by the authorities

Illegal Immigrant A person who: • Has arrived in a new country Has either not made themselves known to the authorities • or has stayed in the country longer than they were authorised to.

• Has no legal permission to be there • Is going to be in real big trouble when they’re found out

Economic Migrant

Refugee Support Yassir Mahmood, Community Initiatives Officer We provide housing, accommodation and support within Nottingham and across the country and run initiatives to ensure that newly arrived refugees and asylum seekers are integrated and settled within the host communities they’ve arrived in. Our history goes back over 50 years to the Hungarian crisis of 1956-1957.

Our work has a real positive impact on people’s lives and this makes us feel that we are making a difference. Refugees and

asylum seekers make an immense contribution to our rich heritage economically and culturally. Often the most frustrating part of our job can be dealing with red tape and bureaucracy, but we’re constantly updating our systems to overcome this.

A person who: • Has moved to another country to work • Could be anyone from a Polish builder to an African nurse • Strengthens the workforce • Could be illegal or legally resident, depending on how they entered the country • Might have a legal work permit or may be working illegally

www.mst-online.org.uk 0115 98872000 Raleigh House, 68 – 84 Alfreton Road, Nottingham, NG7 3NN

Paragon Law Gareth Dooling, Asylum Caseworker Paragon Law is one of the largest niche immigration firms in the UK. We have won several awards over recent years, and due to some of our high profile cases we have helped to change the law so that now women at risk of female circumcision can be protected, rape and sexual violence can now be considered a weapon of war and a state forcing sexual practice to take place secretly can amount to ‘persecution’.

Despite what some politicians say, it’s not feasible to put a limit on the number of asylum seekers as it’s not possible to predict the number of people

who will be forced to flee from conflict around the world. No-one disputes public money should be used as efficiently as possible. But it’s cruelly ironic that a government which is willing to wage a war, such as Iraq, which leads to terrible internecine conflict then only grants asylum to a small minority of the people at risk as a result. www.paragonlaw.co.uk enquiries@paragonlaw.co.uk 0115 9644 123 Finelook Studios, 7b Broad Street, Nottingham, NG1 3AJ

Long Journey Home An East Midlands-wide network that promotes the role the arts can play in breaking down barriers, empowering the disenfranchised and enriching the cultural wealth of society as a whole. They work with ‘artists in exile’ and those communities that have recently arrived in the UK from all over the world fleeing persecution and poverty. Nottingham Long Journey Home meets on the fourth Sunday each month from 3-6pm at the Refugee Forum and everyone is welcome. www.longjourneyhome.org.uk

No Borders Nottingham

Becky Beinart I am an artist currently co-ordinating a project exploring refugees’ relationship with the land, called Putting Down Roots with Long Journey Home [see right]. There are loads of international artists right here in Nottingham, with amazing stories to tell. It’s fantastic to meet people from different backgrounds and share ideas, creativity, music, food and stories.

We have a Putting Down Roots exhibition from 11th – 23rd September at View From The Top gallery (above Waterstones). The exhibition will bring together all the work produced during the project, as well as background research and interviews we’ve done with refugees from rural backgrounds. The project has been amazing and has opened my eyes to a rich and colourful side of life in Nottingham.

Campaigning for an end to borders and to the detention, deportation, destitution and exploitation of asylum seekers.

‘Nottingham is a city with a fantastic history of migration and struggle,’ they say. ‘No Borders calls for a continuation of this, against a politics of division between the settled and the latest migrants.’ www.nobordersnottingham.org.uk

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

7

words: Rob Cutforth illustration: Rob White Rob Cutforth hasn’t been here long, but even he has a cob on about Derby County being in the Premiership…

When I first moved here, I thought I understood the Derby-Nottingham rivalry. I assumed it was about two neighbouring cities who didn’t like each other very much and that one of them had a predilection for sheep-buggery. We have the same sort of thing back home; a hockey game between the Edmonton Oilers and the Calgary Flames rarely ends without a scrap or two. I assumed something similar. I had no idea.

It wasn’t until I went to my first Forest match that I discovered the Nottingham-Derby rivalry was a tad more savage. Forest were hosting the mighty Rovers of Tranmere and the fans were on their feet chanting ‘Stand uuuup if you hate Derby!’ I leaned over and asked my wife in what part of Derbyshire Tranmere was located. “It’s not in Derbyshire, it’s a Liverpool team,” she answers.

What?

Back home, if Edmonton doesn’t make the playoffs, Calgary fans will begrudgingly cheer their rivals on. We’re both Albertans, after all. Not so in the East Midlands; not only were Forest fans chanting their hatred for a team that wasn’t even playing, but they were chanting their hatred for a team that wasn’t playing while a Liverpool team were in town. How badly did you have to hate Derby to pass over a chance to sing the ‘Sign on, sign on’ song? So I made it my mission to find out just what it was that caused Nottinghamians to hate Derby so much.

I knew there was something dodgy about the place right from the get-go when I realised they didn’t even know how to pronounce their own city’s name. If eighties flash-in-the-pan Terence Trent has taught us anything, it’s that Derby should be spelled with an ‘a’ and have an apostrophe in it. Before I actually visited the place, I thought I would do some research into some of its many great tourist attractions. I typed ‘Derby tourism’ into Google and three things came up consistently; it’s surrounded by the peak district, it’s a busy industrial city and my personal favourite: ‘With more ghostly sightings than York, Derby offers a wealth of reasons to book a short break.’

The last time I heard of anywhere being described as an industrial city it referred to America’s toilet, Detroit. However, many great cities have been branded with that moniker, I’m sure even Detroit has some great places. But seriously, how bad does your town have to suck that your biggest claim to fame is that it is home to the most sightings of things that don’t exist?

There are two things I know about Derby’s namesake, Terence Trent. One, is when he claimed that his first album was the best since Sgt. Pepper, that he had a slight propensity for overstatement and two, he is unflinchingly crap. Having now been to Derby, I can say with all honesty that when the Derby tourism website describes it as, ‘a vibrant, contemporary yet traditional city’, it surpasses Terence Trent on both counts.

I looked at Derby’s event listings to see what a Derby holiday would entail. Six of the ten upcoming events in Derby had to do with ‘well dressing’. Not dressing well. Paul Smith did not come from Derby, after all. Instead: ‘At its simplest, well dressing is the art of decorating springs and wells with pictures made from growing things.’ I’m sure some people would find that enchanting, but to me it sounds about as exciting as watching grass grow. Oh wait…

In that same period of time in Nottingham, there is a climate change photography exhibition, tours of Nottingham’s caves, outdoor performances of Twelfth Night and that little thing called the Nottingham Open - a tennis championship. After reading about the things Derby has to offer from their own tourist site, I’ve come to the same conclusion I did last time I was there. The best thing to see in Derby is Derby itself in my rear-view mirror.

So why do the people of Nottingham get all worked up about Derby anyway? If you ask anyone outside of England to hit Derby on a map, they wouldn’t be able to do it if you gave them a sledgehammer. Ask the same person to name three other English cities and I bet you dollars to doughnuts Nottingham would get mentioned more often than Birmingham.

8

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

Having said that, none of this hides the fact that the sheep are now in the Premiership and Forest are once again in League One. I watched the last match against Yeovil and even though I have only been in Nottingham for a couple of years, I was devastated. I didn’t think I gave a toss about Forest - I’m a hockey guy after all and I was still basking in the Panthers triumph. But when Yeovil scored their fifth, I was absolutely gutted. I was so sure that Forest were going to win that I had already booked time off at work so I could go watch them play at Wembley.

I understand that hearing this from a dirty foreigner who knows only two things about football (jack and shit) is of small comfort, but think about this: How much fun will it be watching Derby getting their asses handed to them next season by the likes of Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard? Is it possible to buy season tickets to the away section of Pride Park? If so, sign me up.

Read more of Rob’s rantings at www.leftlion.co.uk/community and www.canuckistani.com

After a short break running paper shops, icing down knees and chatting up gormless birds in Geisha, our city’s lower division footballers prepare for another season of cloggery and huffing. We asked NFFC Blog and Martin Naylor (our monthly web contributors to Left Brian and Left Pie-On) to give us a rundown on what’s been happening on both sides of the Trent… words: Al Needham illustration: Rob White

If your team’s performance last season was a pub in town, what would it be?

Forest: The Pitcher and Piano, a grand old edifice converted to a base level of entertainment. Former glories are disregarded as folks pile in to binge drink and (until recently) smoke the place into a frenzy of distastefulness. Also, where it really matters, there’s not enough width and too few staff on hand to meet the expectations of a demanding crowd.

County: Langtrys, its best days are behind it and it’s full of moaning old boggers, but you can’t help sneaking in there for a cheeky pint.

Any kit changes?

Forest: We have lost the ‘just like watching Brazil’ yellow monstrosity in favour of a more tasteful white away kit. Our third kit will apparently change from navy blue to black, although that’s unconfirmed.

County: Of course. The new one actually looks half-decent as it goes, not that a fat lad like me is the target market.

What’s the stupidest thing in your club shop?

Forest: Endless postcards of players long since departed, which you wouldn’t have wanted even when they were still Forest players, let alone now we’re finally shot of them.

County: Those baby bibs that say ‘Notts County’s Greatest Dribbler’. Do you get it? Dribbler like a winger, you know, Adie Thorpe, Dave Smith, Steve Carter and also dribbler as in, he’s a baby, he ‘dribbles’ his food! Anyway…

What was your best moment of last season?

Forest: Pre-Christmas was nice – we were top for most of that.

County: The 2-0 Carling Cup win over Southampton. A great team performance and a pleasure to see someone like Gareth Bale, a genuinely talented and seemingly level-headed footballer grace the Meadow Lane turf. Shame he’s a plastic taff.

What was your worst moment of last season?

Forest: When Arron Davies scored the decisive goal to end our chance of going to the play-off final after that shameful performance at the City Ground.

County: With our home form as up and down as it was last season, it was every other Saturday after you’d masticated your last mouthful of pie and settled down to the randomfest that presented itself before you.

Who was your player of the year?

Forest: James Perch was always flexible and energetic. He’s going to have a struggle on his hands to retain a midfield role this season, though.

County: Mike Edwards was a calm and collected centre-half who, once Steve Thompson realised he wasn’t a midfielder, spent three quarters of the season covering for Alan White, the donkey captain Thommo had put in place. Unfortunately it now looks like Edwards will be out until Christmas.

Dead ‘oss of the year Forest: Most would say Gary Holt, but the overriding contributor was the manager. Smoulds let people go in January who he didn’t replace and it cost us big time. Also his tactics were overly negative and questionable at really key points. This coming season is his chance to make amends, with his own team, and I expect him to grasp the nettle and go for it.

County: That’ll be said donkey captain. Every time there was a substitution at Meadow Lane and the board went up, you could hear 2000 people in the Jimmy Sirrel Stand screaming; ‘Number five. Please let it be number five!’

If your manager was a member of your family, who would he be?

Forest: A suave single uncle who, despite there being no evidence or reason for it, fellow family members feel uncomfortable leaving their children with.

County: My Uncle David. Likeable, jovial and overweight.

Thommo probably went to stay at his gaff in Cyprus for his holiday.

What’s the preseason been like for your club?

Forest: Positive. The squad are off training in Austria, and have a mixture of challenging and decent pre-season games. I’m still not sure of the sensibility of playing the Sheep though.

County: At time of writing, we’ve barely kicked a ball in anger, so that’s probably a good thing. We’ve a couple of friendlies lined up where anything can and probably will happen.

Any new players?

Forest: We’ve picked up Neil Lennon (who will provide much needed leadership), Matt Lockwood (an energetic attacking left back), Chris Cohen (creative central midfielder), and Arron Davies (who can operate on either flank or upfront – and caused havoc in the playoffs against us). If nothing else, we should have put a dent in Yeovil’s season.

County: Paul Mayo, a versatile left back who has always impressed me when he’s played against us for Lincoln. Big bruiser “Hannibal” Hector Sam has arrived to play up front, and we’ve signed some 6ft 2” midfielder from Peterborough called Butcher. Myles Weston, a tricky young winger who is too good for our division from Charlton, whilst I still can’t say the name Spencer Weir-Daley without thinking he must have played Quidditch at Hogwarts.

Who have you got shot of?

Forest: Plenty, and I don’t think we’ll miss many of them. Jack Lester, Rune Pedersen, John Thompson, Ross Gardner and Spencer Weir-Daley are probably the most notable ones. It just goes to show how much chaff we’d accumulated.

County: Fans favourite and pecced-up poser David Pipe. Ran his heart out for the team and will be missed by the fans for his commitment to the cause rather than his genuine footballing ability. Dan Martin went to Mansfield and a load of others (including Alan White) left on free transfers too.

At what precise date will you realise the season is shagged beyond repair?

Forest: I expect a strong start, a terrible winter and a sense that we’re consigned to the playoffs again at some point towards the end of March. Again.

County: February 14th. Romance in the air, alongside the unmistakable stench of mid-table mediocrity.

Give our incoming students a reason why they should come to your ground…

Forest: You can sit in the intoxicating atmosphere of the City Ground for a mere £10 if you’re an NUS card holder. Admittedly you’ll be in the Upper Clough stand where there is less atmosphere than in a library, but it’s cheap.

County: We’re a moaning bunch, but we’re a friendly bunch. There’s rarely any trouble in or around Meadow Lane.

Say summat nice about your rival club…

Forest: Does that mean I have to pretend Notts are a rival club?

Oh, erm… well, I don’t mind the Pies. With a superlative formerForest strikeforce of Spencer Weir-Daley and Jason Lee, surely they’ll take League Two by storm?

County: They’ve signed a former Notts player in the at-timesworryingly-laid-back Kelvin Wilson. I liked him.

Forest and Notts should really merge and play in a nice new megabowl in Clifton, shouldn’t they?

Forest: I don’t see the benefit in a merge. Both sides have grounds that are more than sufficient for their likely needs over coming years, but given that it’ll take around 7-8 years to get through planning to construction then perhaps a bit of forward planning is in order. I wouldn’t want a merge, under any circumstances, as I’m sure most Notts fans wouldn’t. I wouldn’t really want a ground share either.

County: They should if you’re the City Council and you’ve a greedy eye on the riverside development I suppose. I’m not so sure the idea of a 35,000 stadium that rarely gets more than 20,000 for Forest and 5000 for Notts is that sensible though.

Read Left Brian and Left Pie-On every month on www.leftlion.co.uk/sport www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

9

Notts Funny…

Matt Forde Who made you laugh when you were a kid?

Little and Large, The Chuckle Brothers and Only Fools and Horses.

words: Glen Parver

Nottingham’s favourite comedy club Just The Tonic is once again off to take over a venue at the Edinburgh fringe festival. But this year the main man Darrell Martin is taking three new Nottingham comedians with him. We put some questions to these funny fellas…

Duncan Oakley Who made you laugh when you were a kid?

Stan Laurel, Tommy Cooper, Ronnie Barker, Steve Martin, Bob Newhart, The Comic Strip, The Young Ones, Kenny Everett, my Mum and Dad, my brother Joff, and Monty Python. I met Terry Jones the other day, he was smashing company.

What’s the best heckle you’ve ever got?

I had a bottle thrown at me in Wrexham. Up there that’s considered very clever.

What are you looking forward to doing in Edinburgh?

Eating. Edinburgh’s full of food. There’s a brilliant place that only sells sausage and mash, you pick a different type of sausage, mash and gravy. Apart from that place, everything else is deep-fried. Last time I went up I was behind an American chap in the queue at the chippy and he ordered a battered pizza. It looked like a yellow hubcap.

What makes a nice boy like you want to make his living getting laughed at by strangers?

I get a wonderful buzz from the risk of it all. The

Dave Longley

What are you looking forward to seeing/doing in Edinburgh?

Getting shitfaced and sleeping.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the lollipop chicken had stopped the traffic especially and he didn’t want to waste the taxpayers’ money.

How will you be representing Nottingham through the medium of comedy?

I’ll tell people I’m from Nottingham. Oh and I’m also playing the Just The Tonic venue, so good, old fashioned, home grown representation there.

What’s the worst book you’ve ever read?

Hmm... tricky. I’ve only read a handful. I didn’t finish Complicity by Iain Banks.

As I put it down on the train I noticed that the guy opposite me had just put it down in the same place, too.

What’s the funniest thing about Nottingham?

The new fountain in the square and the way everything has to be punctuated with a sodding fairground. Is the council run by carnies?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get his flu jab.

How will you be representing Nottingham through the medium of comedy?

Loyally. I’m proud of Nottingham and although we can laugh at ourselves, I resent us being an easy target for crime gags. Nottingham is the best city in Britain and we all know it. I’ll be a proud ambassador of the city. I’ll be promoting Nottingham tirelessly throughout my stay in Edinburgh.

What’s the worst book you’ve ever read?

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen.

What’s the funniest thing about Nottingham?

The conversations that you overhear on buses. I swear down that nowhere else in the country would you hear “Oh aye, apart from the chemotherapy, I had a good week” like I did on the Rainbow 5 last weekend.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Probably to find out if the egg came first.

What’s the best heckle you’ve ever had?

I’ve never had a good heckle. It has been proven scientifically that 99.9% of all heckles are an absolute waste of time, and made by people who have no internal thought process.

What makes a nice boy like you want to make his living getting laughed at by strangers? I’ve tried everything else and I wasn’t nearly as good at anything as this.

paralysing fear that you’re going to get complete silence for an hour weighed up against the possibility that for an hour, you might give people their best laugh for ages.

What are you looking forward to doing in Edinburgh?

I’m looking forward to spending some time with a few friends, having a laugh and so on. I will be studiously avoiding any notion of networking and concentrating on having a laugh with people I like, whilst steering clear of industry tosspots.

How will you be representing Nottingham through the medium of comedy?

By stabbing someone in an ironic way.

What’s the worst book you’ve ever read?

I flicked through a Derek Acorah book in ASDA once.

The only rational reaction to reading about him is murderous rage.

Why should people spend their money on going to see live comedy, instead of buying drugs or biscuits?

Because there is nothing else like it. It has everything, tension, fun, serious points, thoughts, expressions, music, individuality, group mentality, a shared sense of togetherness, it can even be a spiritual experience.

What’s the funniest thing about Nottingham?

The female-to-male ratio. It sounds like the most amazing thing, and it is. Until you look at the goodlooking-women-to-absolute-biffer ratio. It’s a double edged sword made of obesity and Primark.

words: Samuel Rogers On a sunny day in Hood Town, LeftLion went to meet the main men behind Not in Nottingham. If you didn’t already know, NIN is a regular internet podcast series focussing on local culture and particularly homemade music. We spoke with main host Tom Whalley and his crew of culture vultures...

What made you start Not in Nottingham?

I like radio and always wanted to do something like it. Podcasting gave me the chance, there are no rules and it’s a bit different. I thought there was a definite hole in the market for it.

It’s a nice way to hear new music and lots of different bands. Our aims are probably to increase interest in Nottingham music, get to meet lots of cool people and get free CD’s. It’s really interesting playing new stuff; I try not to let my tastes rule it too much though as we’d end up with the same stuff every week!

What’s your view on the current music scene in Nottingham?

It’s as good as it ever has been. There are lots of events like Hockley Hustle and Drop in the Ocean which are good. There’s more cooperation too, a friendly atmosphere where everyone tries to help each other.

When listening to your latest podcast I thought there was some really good bands and music that I would not have come accross otherwise.

Do you see it as your job to promote these bands and who are your favourite of the current crop?

It’s hard to pick a favourite, I could list twenty bands. Fists were amazing last time I saw them play. An amazing crowd and I was off my face! In terms of promoting them, I don’t really see it as a job. We like to try to encourage and support though.

10

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

Do you tend to go looking for the bands or do people come to you (demo’s etc)?

It’s a bit of both really. At first it was all looking up stuff on MySpace. Now we get more stuff sent to us, some bands send us stuff every week. We would love to be in a position like John Peel with stacks of records and just picking stuff out but sadly it doesn’t quite work like that.

Do you see other Nottingham based cultural media as competition or do you feel that it is our job to work together to raise Nottingham’s profile?

There’s no real competition. In terms of podcasts there’s only three I know of in Nottingham and we’re the most regular. It’s all good for the city really and it’s not like we make money from it. It’s just a bit of fun really, we had Jared and Alan from LeftLion on the show recently.

Is there anything you’d like to say to LeftLion readers?

Yes, please listen to our podcast! Send us anything really, we love new ideas, music etc.

Lee wants to say bye as he is leaving the city.

What can we expect from your next podcast?

Oh, well. The same as always. A jazz intro, a band coming to Notts, Spencer and his science, introducing ourselves, interview, a guest on the sofa, stuff on the smoking ban maybe and loads of local bands. Good banter, good people and a good time!

When does this come out?

August.

Is that a slogan?

No, but I suppose it sounds like it. In terms of the future we’ve got some unfinished business to attend to with a gig to put on. Last time we tried it, the main guy from our headlining band Spaceships are Cool, got rushed off to hospital.

We’d love to do a live podcast from a location.

A live audience would be great. Oh, and we may start Deskaid. Any donations welcome. We need about a grand for a new desk...may cover rent too.

Maybe we could get our own column in LeftLion. Please? In fact, scrap all the above, we just need girlfriends. That’s the reason we started Not in Nottingham and that’s what we want. Please, phone in. We should start a campaign to get them, apart from Lee... he’s already got one.

www.notinnottingham.com

words: Dom Henry photos: Video Mat Local digital artist Mat Rhodes (a.k.a. Video Mat) is a photographer and designer more commonly known for his online range of ‘unhappy workwear’ t-shirts. We take a look at some of Mat’s recent photo work exploring life in Nottingham’s living rooms and talk shop with the Wollatonborn film-o-phile.

How did you get into digital artwork?

When I left college in the early nineties I did a BTEC in photography, that’s when digital was just starting. I did my entire BTEC on film. Because of the style I was doing stuff in at that point, mixing in bits of graphics with this that and the other, one of the lecturers said you should try this ‘new Photoshop thing’. We had the ‘all new’ first edition of Adobe Photoshop. I’ve never looked back, I do maybe 99% of my artwork in Photoshop now and love it.

With a name like Video Mat video must be a passion as well?

Ah! Yes, and no, I do love my video but the closest I’ve got to actually working in film is doing movie style posters. The name came from years and years ago. There were two Mats in my circle of friends one into music and one into film. The name stuck.

Did you have a set of goals when you set out on this project?

It started by accident, just with one picture. I’ve usually got a camera to hand, even it’s just the mobile. One Friday night round my house there was four of us and we were watching Fellini’s Papillon on TV, everyone was a bit wasted and hanging out. I thought that would make an interesting picture, put the camera in front of the TV for an on the spot panorama and it grew from there.

How do you put your living room landscapes together?

The panoramas are made up of multiple images stitched together, usually three images taken consecutively. Without flash, which makes for long exposures, so capturing people can be tricky!

What kind of camera do you use for your indoor compositions?

It’s nothing special, it’s a really old point and shoot, a Nikon Coolpix… nothing you can’t get out of Jessops! With this it’s inconspicuous but with, say, a medium format camera its cumbersome and professional looking so people forget to relax, whereas with a point and shoot there’s no setting up and you can get away with more.

Are the people in the photos all mates of yours?

They’re all mates, yeah, it’s just round their houses. It started off as just people doing whatever they’re doing at a particular time, so they’re simply titled with the time of day they were taken.

In a lot of cases that’s just sitting round in their pants.

Yeah. What I said to them is ‘what would you be doing if I wasn’t here?’ and a lot of the time its probably just hanging round in their pants watching TV and stuff. If that’s what they want to do that’s fine by me, I don’t mind!

Have you got any exhibitions lined up?

This project is going up in a couple of places, I’ve got a little showcase going on in The Orange Tree and The Golden Fleece are showing the whole lot, which is great!

You can see Mat’s exhibition in The Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road www.myspace.com/videomat

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

11

w

ds or

:

a ch i M

n mo i S el

Shaun Ryder, frontman of The Happy Mondays and Black Grape needs no introduction.

His legacy goes back to a time when rave wasn’t ‘nu’ and day-glo flares weren’t so much ironic as drug induced.

Despite having mellowed somewhat, Ryder has a vast reputation for chemical enhancement. He also has the peculiar distinction of being the only person banned from live appearances on Channel 4 in the company’s official Compliance Manual. Having reunited The Happy Mondays for a second time (minus his brother Paul) they have just released their first studio album in more than a decade and make an appearance at Rock City at the end of September.

Do you still have strong ties to Manchester?

Well, my family’s from Manchester and I was born in Salford. I don’t really go into town that much now though.

What do you make of ‘Madchester’ in retrospect?

The Madchester thing was real, but to us it wasn’t a band thing. It was made out there was a big friendly scene there, but we didn’t really mix with other bands. The scene was just everyone popping pills.

Is it true that the name is a reference to Blue Monday?

No, not at all. Blue Monday came out in 1983 or something like that and we had the name in 1980. I’ve no idea where the name came from. I think it came from an Echo and The Bunnymen song.

The Mondays have been going for over twenty five years now. How has the band changed over time?

We’ve all got old and boring! I’m a sad old get that only watches telly now.

What do you think of the ‘nu-rave’ thing?

I don’t really know anything about it… this is how out of date I am. I’m a proper boring old twat now and when I’m done with the music business I’ll probably be up and watching the news.

Black Grape sat between the original Mondays line up and the first reunion. How did that work?

The first album we did with Black Grape was basically a solo project but I didn’t want to go under the name Shaun Ryder. That first album should have really been the Mondays’ last album.

What was it like working with Damon Albarn and Gorillaz on Dare?

It was great, very quick, very easy. We only ever played a couple of shows in Manchester and in the Apollo in Ireland.

It was great! Damon’s a very clever bloke.

I walked in, and they put the cameras on and then “Turn it up, it’s coming up, it’s coming up, it’s coming up, it’s dare” and Damon went “Right that’s okay, it’s done.”

How’s Bez? He’s alright. We just got back from Barcelona so I haven’t seen him for a few days. He’s fine. He’s Bez, ain’t he? You could throw him out of an airplane and he’d land on his feet.

Was the song meant to be called Dare or There?

Just ‘Dare’. It was basically about getting the cameras right and getting the sound in the headphones. I was going to do some freestyling but Damon just gave me the line and that was it.

Are you touring all summer?

Yeah, we’ve been touring for the last month or so, and I’ve got a day off today, so I’m sat here watching TV. I’ve got an hour of interviews and then I can get into my Heroes and Band of Brothers.

What do you make of your reputation with drugs?

If you look at it, we’ve been followed around since we were eighteen years old. I’m forty five in August and a bit of an old fart now. I just did what most of the kids where I come from did.

Kids go out and party and we were lucky enough to get paid for doing that.

Has being a parent changed your outlook on life?

I’ve been a parent for years. It’s just a natural thing. I’m not twenty-one anymore.

Did the Happy Mondays invent rave?

A lot of people get into something at the same time don’t they?

It was really more about dropping E and having swimming pool parties. I don’t think we ‘invented’ anything really.

What did you think to the 24 Hour Party People film?

It’s a movie isn’t it, it’s got poetic license. I thought it was funny.

Upside down, inside out and back to front. The kid who played me (Danny Cunningham) was a good actor, but I didn’t meet the lad. He got my character off TV and magazine interviews. In some ways it comes off worse and in some ways much better.

Did you have any involvement with the making of the film?

No, none at all. I didn’t really want anything to do with it.

So, the Mondays are currently reunited for a third time.

Well, with the Mondays from the start we’ve had pure legal

12

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

I’ve heard that Damon can be quite difficult to work with…

He was alright with me. I’ve known Damon since Blur first started, he was a new kid on the scene when I first knew him. problems. We finished this album a year ago and we haven’t been able to get it out as yet. I can’t really go into it. We’ll probably get another album out soon and take it from there.

Was the legal thing to do with the name?

Well, yeah, yeah. The band has three of the original members (Shaun, Gary Whelan and Bez). We’ve just had problems with my brother (Paul) and you know what it’s like.

So are you still talking?

Ah, you know he’s my brother. We don’t talk…

So are you like the Gallaghers then?

Oh, we’re worse.

In a good way or a bad way?

In a bad way.

So which one of you is Liam?

Oh, he’s Liam, I’m Noel.

Do you think you had a big influence on people like Oasis?

I’ve no idea really. I know that they used to like our band. I suppose we were just normal working class kids, who were in a band and they did the same thing. But I don’t know if we’ve had any musical influence on them.

What was it like putting together your new album Unkle Dysfunktional?

It was really easy. We had great people to work with, like Sunny Levine, whose dad produced Sly and the Family Stone, and Howie B who was engineering. We wrote it really quick, we were through the studio really quick and that was it. We just have a lot of fun doing what we do. I get bored doing some of the old stuff… we’ve been doing it long enough.

You’ve had some pretty stormy interviews in the past. How do you feel about the press now?

It’s great that I can still go into studios and make albums and I don’t want to sit here moaning about doing TV or press, but it’s just part of what you’ve got to do. I’ve never really liked doing any of the stuff. If anything I find it embarrassing. I can never understand why people hero-worship people in bands, it really baffles me. There’s a difference between writing great songs and walking on fucking water.

The Happy Mondays play at Rock City on 27 September 2007. www.happymondaysonline.com

rd o w

man A : s

da Young ar t: Chris S u mm erli

Taking her name in honour of the protagonist in Harper Lee’s 1960 novel To Kill a Mockingbird, singer-songwriter Scout Niblett (aka Emma Louise Niblett) grew up in Nottingham, but moved away to America and became an international success. A contemporary art alumna from Nottingham Trent University, Scout is a hard-edged passionate character who has gone on to support Iggy Pop and be produced by Pixies and Nirvana legend Steve Albini. In the vein of Patti Smith, Daniel Johnston and Sonic Youth, she has developed her signature sulky alt-rock sound, employing intimate words with stand-offish vocal bites. Her most famously used drum track Kidnapped by Neptune was the soundtrack to Stella McCartney’s perfume advert. Shoop shoop shoop, shoop ba doop shoop shoop, you crazy girl…

So, what are you doing in Nottingham?

I Came from Glasgow yesterday to play the Dot To Dot festival.

I’m based in Portland, Oregon in the States now and came over for this tour. We’ve been to London, Brighton, Bristol, Liverpool, Glasgow… this is the last UK gig until we support Iggy and the Stooges at the Meltdown festival in London.

You lived in Nottingham for several years. Does this feel like a homecoming gig?

Whenever I play Nottingham it’s always a homecoming.

Although I live in Portland I still have lots of friends in Nottingham and plan to hangout and get drunk later on with them.

You attended the Contemporary Art course at Nottingham Trent University in the 90’s. How did you find it?

I absolutely loved it! That was where I started really performing. In the first two years I did mainly performance.

I loved doing that course it really opened me up creatively.

Has your academic education influenced where you are at now?

Totally! I mostly did performances doing music or stand-up comedy, even though I knew I wasn’t funny. I’d show videos and interact like a massive cabaret experience. I’d always been doing music… you had to compose stuff and perform it, which was amazing. That was where I started performing.

n

Do you still tap into the performance persona?

Its not really a persona. I don’t really know what goes on anymore. I know I have to deliver the songs and get into them and be as passionate about them as possible.

What have you been listening to?

I haven’t listened to any English bands since I was sixteen, except from listening to the charts on the radio. What I love musically seems to come out of America. I’m attracted to that culture and music. I feel that I fit in there.

What is it that draws you to American culture?

It seems a lot freer and not so contrived. There feels a much bigger underground culture out there. I just think there isn’t much here… it’s only very narrow. I had such a hard time, even in Nottingham when I played out I would get criticised. I knew someone somewhere would appreciate what I do. That’s why I went further a field.

Why did you choose to live in America?

I feel that what I do fits in well in America. In a way I’m a lot more like an American artist, that was why I moved there. If something comes from the US, English people romanticise it where as if something cmoes from the UK, Americans romanticise it. What I think I do fits in more with an American audience. I was on a label in American before anyone paid any attention to me in England. It was a huge thing to move continents and I loved it all the time. It was a great adventure.

I’ve always known that was what I was supposed to do.

You’ve been released on two American music labels Secretly Canadian and Too Pure Records. Was it a conscious decision to release on non-UK labels?

I was always struggling in the UK. I couldn’t get a record deal before I got my deal in America.

The music industry

in England is completely different and totally NME-based, they like to hype bands up and get huge record sales immediately.

Luckily, I’m on a label that is respectful of my kind of thing. Most of the English music industry is based on bands getting very big very quickly. On the American side it’s the opposite, they build things up very gradually.

Do you think that in terms of being recognised you need to be on certain labels?

Not necessarily… but maybe it is that idiotic. I can only go by what I’ve done. I’ve had a much more immediate appreciation since I started in America. I think the music speaks for itself; the music is what people are paying attention to.

You’ve worked with engineer Steve Albini who is legendary for his pure analogue recording. Why did you choose his approach?

The music you make determines the producer you choose to work with. I think Steve Albini is the best producer for what I do.

I don’t think I could do any better.

Do you feel your music fits the pop music genre or is it something further from that commercial realm, more outsider music?

I’m writing songs that are pop songs I think… I’m obviously completely demented as it doesn’t fit into the loop. I don’t really see myself as an outsider - I feel that I am totally part of normal song structure. I draw the line at commercial music.

How do you start out making your music?

I really go with what I think and I like how it sounds. The impact is always positive when people like what I do, but I hope it will not determine what I write.

Have you got any musical collaborations coming up?

I’ve just recorded and album of songs with Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy coming out in the fall, in the autumn. I’m very excited about it!

I noticed you started your Dot To Dot set with Dinosaur Egg, a track from your latest EP on Too Pure Records. How has that been received?

Everyone falls in love with Dinosaur Egg so I guess that is doing alright. The cover image of the EP is one I found on a friend of a friend’s MySpace page. The girl that posted it asked: ‘What are you doing with Jonathan? I know him he used to come to my house in the 80’s after school and my mum used to take care of him.’ I asked if I could use it for my EP cover and she said yes. I think it is the funniest photo I’ve ever seen! www.scoutniblett.com

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

13

words: Glen Parver Everybody likes swimming…. except for those who can’t swim I suppose. But a group of musicians in Notts liked it so much that they decided to name their band after the water-based activity, and thankful for this we are too. Because Swimming make great music and it’s like a supergroup of people from other great bands in Nottingham all playing together. So we booked them in for a LeftLion gig and put some questions to main man John Sampson. Woop woop.

Where did you start out in music?

After branching out from recorder club I got really into making weird and wonderful sounds and writing songs. I’ve made music with Peter, my brother, since we were kids, with guitars and drums and rock action. Then when I met (Swimming co-founder) Ben Hallett, we started mashing up guitar recordings and writing electronica and doing whatever we wanted and making fresh sounds and out of it formed Swimming. I also play with Amusement Parks on Fire, working with them in the studio and I played keys with them for a while.

Who plays what in the band?

Peter (my brother) plays the drums. He is probably better known for his achievements in vocal percussion as The Petebox.

Andrew Wright of psychedelic kiddy-pop duo We Show Up On Radar plays all the nice waves and broken texturey noises from his sampler. Joff aka Jonathon Spittlehouse plays a guitar called a ‘universe’. He makes some mind-bending sounds with it. Alex Tabrizi also of YesMyNinjas? plays the bass and I make sounds and play guitar and sing. We now have a resident VJ, Becky Smith. She creates visuals of dreams for the live show.

What’s your favourite swimming baths in Nottingham?

Victoria Baths in Sneinton. It’s where it started. We’d swim on Saturday mornings and then make music in the afternoon.

We used a photo of the main pool there as the cover of our first demo and it’s also our MySpace backdrop at the minute. It’s very photogenic.

What was the last album that you bought?

Battles Mirrored. They are amazing live too. And an Early Music compilation.

How many swimming badges did you get when you were a kid?

I had the 5m badge, 10m badge, 50m badge, 100m badge, 500m badge, 1000m badge, bronze award, silver award. I’m still working towards my gold.

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore’s ‘teaching ravens to fly underwater’ sketch.

Could you get the brick from the bottom of the pool in your pyjamas?

Yes, I think this is important and I could take them off, tie a knot at the end of the trouser legs, blow them up and use them as a float. This is yet to be applied in real life.

What was the last book you read?

A brief history of Islam.

What was the last thing that made you cry?

A song a good friend wrote. Don’t tell him, I’ll be embarrassed, but it’s a very beautiful song.

Any other swimming related stuff you’d like to declare?

In summer (when it’s proper summer) go down to Colwick Park, there is a part of one of the lakes you can swim in.

What’s coming up for you over the next year?

We’re just finishing our first album at the moment, so then we will be getting it out and heard by as many folk as we can, playing loads of live shows in the autumn and writing some new songs. We are also going to be doing some more remixes of the album tracks in forests and other nice places with sonic artist Dallas Simpson.

What are your favourite cities and venues to play?

Liverpool, Matlock Bath, Bath and Niagara Falls.

Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers?

Yes, but it’s all in song form.

What are your favourite hangouts in Nottingham?

Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop has great tea, great service, great music and great times. I also love The Mount, a field at the back of my house in Sneinton.

Swimming play LeftLion Presents at The Orange Tree on Saturday 1 September 2007. www.swimmingband.com

words: Glen Parver Computerman are a locally-based band who have been around for years, having originally formed under the name The Carolgees. We first had them play a LeftLion gig back in 2005 and on that evening they sent the Malt Cross crowd home happy with their delightful indie-pop-rock. Since then they’ve had and lost a record deal, had a bit of a membership reshuffle and come back with even more great tunes. So we snapped them up for a gig again and put some questions to ‘em…

What have you been up to since you first played for LeftLion back in 2005?

Adam: Releasing a single, aborting a second, touring, recording, losing a member, getting older, figuring out how to work more of our equipment.

Mark: After that gig we released the No More Broken Hearts/Watch More Television double A-side.

Touring ensued for that, then we hit turbulence and had to spend a long time stabilising things for various reasons.

You got signed by Must Destroy records. How did that work out?

Mark: It was great. You can’t actually describe in words what it’s like to be on your first night of your tour and see your video on MTV2. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as planned through no fault of anyone and we agreed to call it a day. That’s when we took stock of things and began working on the album.

What was the first computer you ever had?

Paul: I started off with a couple of Spectrums and then the amazing Amiga 500 came along.

The only game I can remember playing extensively on the Spectrum 128 was Daley Thompson’s Decathlon.

Adam: I had an original Sega Master System and an Amiga 500+ and I think my favourite games were Action Fighter and Civilization. Although I was jealous of anyone who owned a Mega Drive with Sonic…

What are your favourite places to play?

Adam: I love busy hometown shows, particularly at The Social. Also The Charlotte in Leicester and Koko in Camden.

Paul: I always like to play in Leicester because it’s where we started gigging. Other than that, London is where the magic happens, but we were very warmly welcomed in Liverpool and Newcastle.

If you could get anyone in to play with you, who would you choose?

Mark: Brian May. No contest. The man’s a legend.

Rhys: Phil Collins, because I no longer have any use for my ride cymbal.

Adam: Jean Michael Jarre or Chris Lowe of Pet Shop Boys… some God of Synth. Perhaps not Keith Emerson though.

14

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

Describe your average day...

Adam: Struggle to wake up, work, Hollyoaks, rehearsal, vodka, bed. Repeat. Although yesterday I helped rescue some kittens, specifically so I could name them after Spurs players.

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Mark: A conversation with some old school friends about The Spit Pit, a set of stairs that led to the entrance of a subterranean boiler house at school. People threw coins down the steps and if you went down there to get any of it you’d get spat upon. You could probably retrieve a couple of quid if you could stay down there long enough and endure the onslaught of child gob. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Adam: Mark’s recent fancy dress approximation of Salt of Salt ‘N Pepa.

What was the last thing that made you cry?

Rhys: Amber, our big orange ex-mobility Transit, going to the grave.

What’s coming up over the next year?

Mark: Album, album, album. We need to get the album finished by end of August. Then once that’s done we are looking to release it, for the meantime we’ll be doing shows as often as possible.”

Adam: Yeah, singles, tours, bits of crap video, T-shirts, badges, hours on the motorway hard shoulder, all that stuff. I miss it. We’ve been in the studio for far too long!

Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers?

Mark: Computerman is spelt as one word and not Computer Man. That is all.

Adam: If I was writing this interview up, I’d spell it as two words now just to piss us off.

Computer Man (ha ha) play LeftLion Presents at The Orange Tree on Saturday 4 August 2007.

Leap of Faith

words: Michael Simon photo: John Hollins

Zoe Johnston is cut from a different cloth, having spent over a decade in electronica with the likes of Above & Beyond, Neon Heights, Bent and Delerium. When Rollo Armstrong, founding member of Faithless and older brother of Dido), came across Swollen on Bent’s Programmed to Love, Zoe was recruited for the band and spent eighteen months playing to the vast crowds of the global festival circuit. Last year she released Happenstances, her first solo album - which had been in the works for over ten years. Featuring the original version of Faithless’ Crazy English Summer the album was received to critical acclaim. She’s also a full-time mum and a pure Nottingham lass…

Do you still spend time much in Nottingham?

I moved back to Nottingham after the Faithless tour ended in 2002 and have been here ever since, so I spend quite a lot of time here now. It’s a bit different to the old days, though. Now I see the city centre in daylight, whereas before I mostly saw it at night journeying to different bars and clubs. Having seen a few countries I find myself missing travelling a lot of the time. It feels great to escape the familiar. Nottingham is very, very familiar to me - sometimes that can be a good thing and sometimes it can be a bit frustrating.

What’s keeping you busy at the moment?

My son Milo is now fifteen months and has recently started walking. I do a lot of lifting objects above hip height and have created a waist-high tide mark of stuff around every room. The first six shelves on the CD rack in our house are completely empty. He likes to open the cases and throw out the contents, chatting away to himself the whole time. So mostly at the moment my attention is on him, although I am also working away on a new album and am about to start writing for both Sleepthief (aka Justin Elswick) and Joel Edwards (Deepest Blue).

I’m also about to finish writing a book I’ve been working on after taking a long break from it to care for Milo.

There’s a big jump between your solo material and the electronica that you’ve worked with for a lot of your career.

How do the two come together?

I don’t think they do come together really. My solo material existed before I worked with anybody else - many of the songs on my album Happenstances were written a long time ago and I continue to write for me regardless of who else I might be working with at the time. When I write my own songs, I pick up a guitar and that’s usually how it starts. When I write for other

people, they come to me with a tune and I create something to fit with their music.

You’ve been involved in a lot of different projects. Who have you most enjoyed working with?

Paul Heaton (from The Beautiful South) made me laugh a lot and is an incredibly quirky person, which is always a quality that pulls me in. The Faithless crew were wonderful, too, both to work and travel with. I feel very privileged to have had my time with them.

What was it like touring with a band like Faithless?

It’s hard to sum it up in just a few words! It was great fun, very personally challenging, magical, exhausting at times, occasionally quite daunting, full of hysterical laughter, dotted with missing friends back home. It was so many different things but then it did span an eighteen month period in my life, which is quite a long time in which to be in close proximity to a few people you happen to be working with. It was easy to be with them, though. They are such genuine, interesting people who are all very grounded and modest about what they do. So it was a pleasure to be part of that touring musical family. It was also quite a bizarre experience, because you’re straight in there with thousands of people screaming for more - there was no gradual build up or time to adjust.

Does your music reveal a particular attitude to life?

That’s a hard question. I guess it must show my attitude to life, seeing as I do my own writing. For me considering the future alongside the present time gives me hope, and sometimes that is such a crucial speck of light at the end of a very long, black tunnel. I think hope in desperate times is a big theme in me, even if I occasionally struggle to keep hold of that hope.

Where do you prefer to perform?

Often I’ve found it a lot easier to sing to thousands of people than to a couple of hundred. It can be quite intimidating singing close up to people sometimes. Having said that, I once played a teeny weeny gig in London in a 35 person capacity venue, which turned out to be quite magical in its intimacy. Everybody was so quiet, it was a real pin-drop atmosphere which felt quite ghostly to me. I liked that gig. I remember Maxi Jazz brought his eightyyear-old mum along and she’d only just flown in from Jamaica!

Now that’s what I call loyalty to the cause!

Do you have any personal favourite gigs?

There was one in Spain with Faithless where the stage was so minute that Mandy (the other singer) and I had to crouch behind an amp next to the drummer when we were off-stage.

We were properly breathless in hysterics I seem to remember, which made it very hard to perform without looking like you’d just been crying your eyes out. Glastonbury in 2002 was quite surreal. It was a very different feeling going out on stage there knowing your old teachers and the like might be pointing at the telly back in Beeston or Cotgrave. There was a great gig we did in Belgium where a stadium full of people leaping up and down actually caused an earthquake which officially made it onto the richter scale! Probably my all-time favourite, though, has to be an incredible Faithless gig we did at a Belgian festival. We played to 90,000 people with the sun going down and that evening will stay in my mind forever.

What are your plans for the future?

It looks as if I’ll be working with Above & Beyond again in 2008, so that’ll boost my strange fictional image as some glo-stickwearing Trance Queen a little more. They’re lovely guys and most importantly they’re very patient with me while I’m sifting through their music saying what I can and can’t write over. I want to release my second album, too and maybe tour with it when the time is right. I’d also like to get my book out and lower the tide mark again in the house so it won’t look as weird as it does right now.

What will the second album sound like?

The new stuff sounds very different to the old, it’s fatter all round and even more raw. The new songs are very much about the start and end points of life, because both of these things have impacted on me heavily over the last year. With just eleven months in between, I gave birth to my son and I lost my father and both of these events have changed me forever. I’m hoping they’ll bring some comfort to people who might have experienced the same things, or to anybody else out there who has a huge heart that aches sometimes. There are many dots of hope and celebration scattered around in there, too, so I think it will end up having an oddly uplifting quality to it as well as being quite reflective. We’ll see! You never can tell until it’s all done and then it suddenly takes on a life of its own. It leaves home, you miss it for a while and then you’re onto something new. www.myspace.com/zoejohnstonsings www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

15

Blazye Squad words: Tommy Goodall photo: Shula Harris

David Blazye released his debut album From The Playground under the name The High and Lonesome in 2002 on DB records. It featured members of Goldfrapp’s, Portishead’s and Robert Plant’s live bands on it and led him to several live radio appearances, the most notable of which was the Jonathon Ross Saturday morning show on Radio 2. After a period of promoting the album he regrouped, moved back to Nottingham and put together a new band for live work and recordings. His new album is self-titled, produced by Tim Oliver and will be released soon on the Top Cat Music label. We caught up with him for a chat before his LeftLion Unplugged set in September…

Tell us about your music...

I consider myself a songwriter above all else and like my songs to stand up as solo pieces first. When it comes to bringing a new tune to the band I really don’t like to be too prescriptive. I’ll make some general suggestions in terms of feel and dynamic but I really trust these players and their instincts.

What they’re really good at is feeling and understanding my songs. This is what I’ve been trying to find for years.

How does the new album differ from the last?

I really wanted it to be a lot simpler. There’s a much smaller core of musicians on it. With From the Playground you’d hear the album and then see a much more stripped-down performance

live. With this album I wanted it to be the other way around. If you hear the album and then see me with The Reservations performing it you’ll hear as full and often fuller sounding versions of the songs.

What’s your favourite track off the new album?

At the moment my two favourite tracks are Flood The House and On Every High Hill. I’m really into how they build up and also the lyrics are banging me around the head at the moment.

What are your favourite places to play in Notts?

I really enjoyed one we played at The Maze a few months ago, the sound was good and we were just hitting it. Also last month I played an acoustic set with Chris and Andy in a cave out back of The Loggerheads. The audience was just really receptive and lovely. I felt we were really getting back what we were putting out and like we really were playing for the folks there, which is what live music should be all about.

What other acts around Notts do you rate?

I’m a big fan of Jezz Hall’s guitar playing, it has so much damn feel to it. Then there’s Beck Goldsmith, who I think has a wonderful soulful voice. Fists have loads of charisma and energy about them - there’s such a sense of enjoyment that comes across when you see them live.

Tom Hill’s latest project Origamibiro is really

my favourite thing he’s ever done. Just really beautiful music. Oh and my good friend Ali (The Bonsai Projects) who is very soulful and very witty and responsible for the fantastic illustrations on my album.

Anything else to say to Leftlion readers?

Whistle while you work.

David Blazye and the Reservations play LeftLion Unplugged at The Malt Cross on Tuesday 18 Septembert 2007. www.myspace.com/davidblazye

Tim McDonald words: Tommy Goodall

Tim McDonald is one of three musical brothers from Notts all making music and playing a part in the local scene. When asked to describe himself he said ‘I’m quite passive except when riled, I like to do my washing in a panic, I consider surface mess to be natural, I sometimes look like a tramp.’ Fair enough we thought. He’s recently moved down south, but he can’t help but keep coming back for his fix of Hood town. So we signed him up for a LeftLion Unplugged gig in August and had a chat…

You moved to London earlier this year. How has that been treating you?

Pretty well, it’s busy down here but I’m enjoying it. It takes a while to settle in but there are a lot of nice people down here. I’m trying to join up with the Communists.

What venues have you been playing?

A lot of random ones. I played an all-dayer called Chickenstock in Camden the other week which was good - probably the first time I’ve seen a small plastic saxophone blown with any seriousness by a grown man. The one before that was in Croydon which resembles the Market Square on a Friday night. Just horrific.

How have you developed since leaving Notts?

I’m not sure if I’m writing better songs, but I definitely feel I want to work with more musicians so I guess I’m going a different direction more than anything else. I think I’d quite like to form a thrash band. That would be super.

Any attention from labels?

I’ve not really been getting myself around

enough really. You have to do a lot to get noticed down here so I’m gathering a band and trying to get more recording done, and I’ll probably dress as Hitler from now on. Hitler gone mad.

What are your influences?

I dunno really - I think I pick bits up from different people. It helps having grown up surrounded by people who write songs as well, so you can bounce off each other and they can tell you when it’s shit. Even if your initial reaction is to think ‘what a stupid fucker’, you soon realise they’ve got a point. Also, I suppose the need not to repeat myself when I’m writing, that helps.

What inspires your lyrics?

The usual I guess, love and society. I like to keep myself abreast of current events.

You have two musical brothers, why do you think the three of you have such different styles of writing?

I think we all like different styles of music.

Nick listens to a lot of jazz and he writes on the piano anyway. Chris has always been into soul and I think there’s elements of that in his stuff - he’s also just written a song which he raps in, which is surprisingly not shit at all. I guess I was more into a mix of dark Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead rock and Nick Drake/ Joni Mitchell acoustic stuff, so I suppose I’m the depressive of the three.

affiliations.

What is the picture on your MySpace all about?

Well its just pigs running, isn’t it? You’ll probably have to make your own mind up.

Who will you be playing with at the Cross?

It’ll be a few people from around Notts probably elements of the Foncheros and other bands. Also my mate Adam, who has no

Are you a fan of pig racing?

Its mainly based in Russia in a small town called Dangadank, which has a notoriously poor transport network so I rarely get to see it, but

one day I hope to catch the full pig Olympics.

Anything else to say to LeftLion readers?

Don’t shout ‘wanker’… that’s right out.

Tim McDonald plays LeftLion Unplugged with Andy Wright and Tommy Goodall on Tuesday 21 August 2007. www.myspace.com/timmmcdonald

for more content than we can cram into this bi-monthly magazine, check out our website, updated daily. www.leftlion.co.uk 16

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

Class of 1987 words: Jared Wilson photo: Debbie Whitmore

The Art and Design department at Nottingham Trent Uni has a history of famous graduates. Over the last decade it has handed degree certificates to musicians Scout Niblett (interviewed on page 13) and Simon from The Klaxons, as well as Turner Prize winning artist Simon Starling. But this is no new trend. Twenty years ago both Paul Kaye, actor famed for his role as TV’s Dennis Pennis, and Jonathan Glazer, hot British film director of Sexy Beast and many cool music videos, both chucked their mortar boards in the air on Shakespeare Street and went for a beer. The duo have only worked together professionally briefly (in scenes for Glazer’s Work of the Director compilation), but they’re old mates and two decades on they came back to open up the degree show for their old school. We caught up with them for a chat…

Your next film was Birth. That was considered a bit more of an arthouse effort…

Glazer: Yeah. It was definitely more personal. That was a whole new set of experiences for me and the reaction from audiences was certainly different. I’m not one to find something and keep on doing it forever.

So you two were mates when you studied together in Nottingham?

Kaye: From before actually…

Glazer: Yeah. We knew each other in London when we were about fifteen and then we lived together when we came to Uni. We lived in a little place on Forest Road West. I understand that road has become quite notorious for something else since.

So what are you working on at the moment?

Glazer: A science fiction film set in Scotland called Under The Skin. It’s based on a book by Michael Faber, but as a starting point really. The film should be very different. We’ve been working on the script for the last two years and I’m just about to go into the prep stage.

What do you remember most fondly about your time in Nottingham?

Kaye: Well, we just had the time of our lives. Studying art here was amazing in every respect, creatively, sexually and alcoholically.

Glazer: Those were our formative years…

Where did you used to go out?

Glazer: The Garage, which was in the Lace Market (now the Lizard Lounge).

Kaye: We used to frequent The Hippo on Bridlesmith Gate too (which later became The Bomb).

Jonathon, let’s talk a bit about your music videos. Being part of the Work Of The Director series must have been an honour…

Glazer: It was great. I know a couple of the other guys involved in that series and I think we were part of what was a key time in terms of music video. It was a period which allowed you to be fully creative. There was a lot of opportunity for artists to take risks and that gives you the chance to try a lot of things out. Music video seems to be much more business-orientated these days.

Sexy Beast was named the fifteenth best British film of alltime by Total Film magazine...

Glazer: Has someone seen them all then? There must be at least fifty thousand! It’s more like fifteenth out of the ones they could remember on that day. Polls schmolls.

When you were doing cool music videos for people like Radiohead and Massive Attack did you pick them or did they pick you?

Glazer: It’s a bit of both really. You kind of find each other.

Sometimes you meet someone in a bar and get chatting, other times you get sent a track by a record label and asked to do something. It’s never the same way really…

Paul, do you get sick of people asking you about Dennis Pennis?

Kaye: No, not really. It was my foot in the door and I’ll always be proud of it. At the time I was doing it I had no plans to forge an acting career so I didn’t care who I pissed off. That was kind of useful as everyone who has tried a similar thing since has got a bit cosy with the celebs and are essentially paying guests to take the piss out of them.

So who do you think are the others that have done it since?

Ali G? Dom Joly?

Kaye: I think they would certainly have been influenced by it. I do know them both a bit too. I really liked Dom’s stuff particularly. He put poetry back into comedy by doing all that slowed down stuff, which was something I hadn’t seen in a long time. I also really liked his record collection. Sasha is doing particularly well. I don’t think there has been a global comedy phenomenon like Borat ever, so good luck to him!

What are your favourite moments of being Dennis Pennis?

Kaye: There was loads of hanging about. I was pissed most of the time I was doing it. The hip flask and the microphone were my two main accessories. Because it was shown on a Sunday morning there was a whole different set of regulations. It was only ten years ago, but you weren’t even allowed to use the word ‘twat’ back then. My favourite one ever was probably the astrologer Russell Grant. I asked him if he could read palms. He said ‘Of course I can,’ so I said ‘What does that say then?’ and I

had ‘Fuck off you fat cunt’ written on my hand. Sadly they never used the footage.

I read that you regret doing the Steve Martin stunt (Pennis asked Steve Martin at a film launch why he ‘wasn’t funny anymore’)?

Kaye: I said that at the time, but to be honest I think I was right after all. Any comedian who rates his chances of improving on The Pink Panther or Bilko is a knob.

Since then you went on to more serious roles such as the TV series Two Thousand Acres Of Skye.

Kaye: I didn’t know what to do with myself after Pennis. I was unemployable as I’d pissed off a lot of potential employers. So I got offered a part in this Sunday night drama, which the last thing I expected to do. That was like my own acting school for two years. I also had loads of fun and made a lot of new friends. It put my career in a direction which was nothing like I’d imagined. It got me into film…

You went on to do Blackball and It’s All Gone Pete Tong…

Kaye: Yeah. Blackball bombed bad at the box office! I think Pete Tong was a decent film and was definitely worth doing, but I wouldn’t have got that part if I hadn’t done Blackball. So it all worked out in the end I suppose.

What are you up to nowadays?

Kaye: The Strutter show that I’ve been doing on MTV has been fun. I’ve just finished filming the second series and he’s a really interesting, yet horrible character. I’ve written a film called Born, which is going to be made this autumn. I wrote it with myself in mind to play the main part, but they couldn’t raise any money with me attached so Paul Bettany has been cast. I’m in the next series of Pulling on BBC2 and I’m also going to be in a Channel 4 sitcom set in a recording studio. But this is probably the first time in twelve years that I know what I’m doing next. Usually I finish a job and the phone doesn’t ring for two months and I think my career is over.

Any chance that you’ll ever resurrect Mr Pennis?

Kaye: No. There was talk of it a few years ago, but I think it was probably because I didn’t have anything else to say. It had a real spontaneity about it as it wasn’t planned and was probably successful because of that. But for me there’s no way I’m going to be standing in the rain in Leicester Square again, waiting around to piss people off.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

17

Off The Wall

words: Amanda Young

Chris Summerlin is an illustrator and poster designer based in Nottingham. By day he lives the creative life, producing posters for local promoters and venues, by night he plays in bands like Lords and Felix. We’ve long admired his work and caught up with him for a chat about it…

make that much money out of it. I’ve just started doing wedding invites for people though.

What are you developing towards?

I’ve done a few record sleeves for people and it seems to be a format that works really well because they are usually quite bright and bold. There is a big market in America for people doing posters designs for bands. Maybe the posters that are designed in England for American bands don’t really get noticed as much?

Who do you make posters for?

I mainly do one off posters for the Damn You! collective. I also do stuff for Rock City, Rescue Rooms and The Social. Often they want to impress a band and give the posters to them as a present.

Why do you think that is?

People in America have merchandising companies that handle every last piece of sold paraphernalia that relates to the band and they will commission people to do posters for them. It tends to be an America-centered thing.

What’s your style?

I work with big flat-blocked colour with no outlines, almost photographic, looking quite polished. Or I do quite detailed pen drawings of something.

Are they exclusive art posters?

I try to keep what I do separate to those boutique posters that don’t ever really get put up for a gig. I want to do something for normal people. There is an art involved in doing it but really they are just pieces of advertising that I try to make look as attractive as I can.

Who is your favourite illustrator?

Kia Wong. He specialises in drawing that looks like a very talented twelve-year-old has drawn it. So it’s not quite right but it looks really, really amazingly slaved over.

Have you made any limited edition prints?

I did one for Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop for the banjo player Daniel Higgs. I

18

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

had thirty screen printed on recycled paper. It was really porous, like sugar paper. If you had a bag of chips and touched it you would be able to see right through it!

How are you finding making a living from your work?

Part of the reason I wanted to do it was that only the bigger bands, venues and promoters could afford to have a poster designer. I want to do stuff, for example charge £50 for a poster and let them do what they want with it. At the moment if I have a week’s worth of work and don’t really sleep, I still don’t really

Can good design affect the success of band?

You can’t make a bad band good just by having something that looks visually interesting. But if you have a band that is interesting in the first place, a good piece of artwork can tie the package together.

What’s the strangest place you’ve seen your illustrations?

I was at All Tomorrow’s Parties and there was a kid who had a tshirt with my ‘Herman Dune’ poster design on the front of it. I asked where he got it. He said from this guy knocking about on Camden market, so I still haven’t got to the bottom of this. I’ve got to make a stealthy visit down to Camden and take a load of burly men with me. www.honeyisfunny.com

Nottingham City Council

proud to present

Summer Stage 2007

Outstanding outdoor theatre in a beautiful setting

HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES Thurs 23 - Fri 24 Aug Gates open 6.30pm, show starts 7.30pm Please contact ticket hotline for signed performance dates.

• Advance tickets and information: 0115 989 5555 • www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/enjoy • Tickets available on the door

For the full programme visit www.theatrewritingpartnership.org.uk or call Lakeside Box Office for more information and bookings on 0115 846 7777

577 Mansfield Road • Sherwood • Nottingham

The Spice Of Life?

words: Al Needham photos: Ben Dennis

‘Welcome To The Warmth (What fucking warmth?) And Comfort (What fucking comfort?) Of This Luxury Air-Conditioned Palace Deep In The Piss-Soaked Streets Of Nottingham...’

The Variety Club in Radford might not be a regular fixture in EG, but most Notts locals will have heard of it… and most of what you’ve heard is true. It’s a proper spit-and-sawdust throwback to an era where Noreen from Hucknall drops her drawers to the sound of Donna Summer and fills a stag’s boxers with whipped cream. A place where a regular called The Suffolk Suffocator jumps on stage bollock naked and shouts ‘Fucking Hell, Fucking Hell, Fucking Hell’ to the Here We Go tune, a stand-up comedian from Liverpool gets ritually abused and everyone tells everyone else to ‘fuck off’ and then has a laugh about it. Oh, and there’s bingo… and cobs.

The Variety is run by Pav and Jesus, and we caught up with them after a show that was lacking its usual clientele (half of Radford had pissed off to Skeg for the day), which meant they had to abuse the people who were there three times as much. Forget purpose-built arts centres and burlesque nights that consist of middle-class girls in their grandma’s knickers.

Whether you like it or not (and some of you won’t) another aspect of Nottingham Culture is over here…

How did the two of you get to know each other?

I’d heard of Jesus since I was thirteen, when he lived on our street. He was famous in Kimberley for walking around with no

20

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

shoes. We had a drink one night and realised that comedy-wise and musically, we had a lot in common. He’s a brilliant musician, which is something that you don’t really see when we’re playing here.

So how long have you been running the Variety?

Two and a half year. Before that, Gordon Cragg ran the club for forty years without ever taking a day off and we used to come down from Kimberley to see him. The first time we came in here was with trepidation. We’d heard lots of stories about this club in darkest Radford that was so rough it had no windows. We sat at the back and didn’t say boo to a goose, but it didn’t take long before the locals took us under their wing and got to know us.

I was on shift work and Jesus is allergic to graft, so we wrote loads of nonsense articles for the Sunday Sport and Viz, ‘I Found Jesus In My Shed’, and the like. Gordon is a genius and our comedy hero, but he was getting a bit decrepit and he asked us to take over. So we jumped in feet first.

Describe the average Variety Club punter…

Good as gold. They couldn’t do enough for you. The exact opposite of what you’d expect. Radford’s a suburb known for tekkin’ no prisoners, but they’ve been behind us 100%. Anything could happen in this club, but I’ve never felt unsafe in this place,

knowing that if anything happened there’d be twenty or thirty very unassuming lads who would whisk out any proper low-life without anyone noticing.

I invited a dozen people to come out with me today, but they were too scared to come to Radford on a Sunday afternoon…

That’s a problem we have, but it really isn’t like that. I’ve only seen four or five incidents in here that concerned me. I’d be much more worried about my safety on a Wednesday night in Newark or Leicester. The thing about this place is you only have to come here a couple of times before people introduce themselves and you get to know them. I’ve seen people come here for the first time and not know anyone and six months later, they’ve bought shares in the place. Yes, Radford has a reputation, but once you get to know the people, you realise how decent they are. Any moodiness is checked at the door.

Radford’s got loads of students, now. Has that changed the place much?

Years ago, everybody would have known everybody else. Whole families lived on the same street and you couldn’t do anything without being reported back on. This is the back end of a community you could trace back hundreds of years. Hopefully the students are gonna bring a whole new community and

culture here, so Radford doesn’t end up like other places I could mention. I’d like to think they’re gonna save Radford and drag it up from being an absolute shithole and bring it back to being a genuinely nice community.

They’d love it here…

I can’t believe we’re missing out on ‘em! We never get students here. I don’t think they even know it exists.

But you can’t deny that it’s not the most right-on way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I’ve seen black and Asian lads get the piss ripped out of ‘em relentlessly…

No more than you, though. I said you were a bald ugly specky paedophile. And that your photographer was your rent boy.

Well, yes, you did...

I think that everybody - whether they’re black, white, gay, straight, fat, thin, bald, whatever - has the right to have to have the piss taken out of ‘em, and I couldn’t see the club being any other way. I’d hate to think that we’d missed anybody out.

Jesus would be horrified to be considered a racist. Personally, I consider myself a race realist. I see that there is a difference between us all, it’s a healthy difference and it’s other people who have the problem. When I look out and see the audience,

everybody’s dark blue. I can’t stand the middle-class PC brigade who draw their own lines and make everybody feel uncomfortable. Nobody’s above being laughed at, we’ve all got us cross to bear, we’ve all got us lives to lead and we’ve all got to be at work on Monday morning.

Bernard Manning had one of his last gigs here. What was he really like?

He didn’t spare anybody. He didn’t make anybody feel less comfortable or less welcome. Last time he was here he turned up in his Roller and said ‘Eeh, Pav, I’ve been bostin’ for a piss since Sheffield’ and I had to hold him up as he had a slash against the wheels. Then Strangers On The Shore came on the radio and he said ‘Eeh, Pav! Acker Bilk! Me and the missus used to dance to this in the fifties. Absolutely wonderful. Have you got family, Pav?’ I said, ‘yeah’, and he goes; ‘Look after ‘em. There’s nothing more important than your family. My missus died far too young, Pav. Far too young. We used to dance to Acker Bilk. Lovely man’ and he’s hanging onto me arm having a piss, and I’m thinking fucking ‘ell, this is what all the fuss is about? How can anyone get so wound up about this little ode man? Then he goes on stage and he has this glint in his eye…

Notts isn’t known for its stand-up talent…

We would love to have new comedians in here. If there’s any locals who want to have a go – they could be students, they could be grandads – they’re welcome to come and do fifteen minutes. They won’t be paid straight off, but that doesn’t mean to say that next week we wouldn’t invite ‘em back for a paid gig.

We’d love to see new comedians come down here and even take our spot, if they can stand the pace. It’s one of the few places in the country where you can cut your teeth, because if you die on your arse, the punters’ll still buy you a drink and push you back on stage so you can die on your arse again.

What would you like to say to LeftLion readers?

Come in, have a look, decide for yourself. We have all sorts here – lawyers, doctors, undercover coppers – and I can honestly say I’ve never felt safer in Notts than on a Sunday morning here.

The Variety Club runs from 12.30- 3pm every Sunday. £3 entry for non-members. LeftLion do not necessarily advise that you attend, but if you do so you should go with a very open mind. www.vclubnotts.com www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

21

July - October 2007 30 artists projects along the River Trent in Nottingham continues with new sites specific installations, photography commissions, events and activities.

www.hinterlandprojects.com

Hinterland Projects at The Reading Room, Thoroton House, Thoroton Street, Nottingham, NG7 4EW Tel: +44 (0) 7847 414251 | Email: info@hinterlandprojects.com

If you would like to feature on these pages email details about your work (with examples if possible) to amanda@leftlion.co.uk

Candice Jacobs

Chris Lewis Jones

Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an Etch-a-Sketch and says to the bar man… Do you think this makes me look like a twat?

What’s your creative niche? Recently it’s been photographing objects I’ve collected. I also help to run the Moot gallery.

What makes you an artist? Feeling like I have to figure something out and not knowing what it is or how to do it. Trying to figure it out sometimes means I have to make things.

Most influential artist? Richard Wentworth is a big influence in my work as are films such as Stalker and Brazil and the writer J G Ballard.

Current activity? Moot’s next show Chacker Chacker runs from 7 July – 5 August.

How can we access your work? www.wooloo.org What is your favourite art space in Nottingham? I think the old Beatties shop makes an amazing gallery, as would the fireplace shop behind the Victoria Centre.

One day someone will make it happen.

Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with? People who can provide me with an opportunity to create new work or people who love what we do at Moot and want to keep it going by supporting us in one way or another.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Don’t get a nine to five office job… ever!

What happened to you today? I had to say ‘Is that with vegetables, chips or salad?’ about a million times.

What would you demonstrate against? Demonstrators.

You are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? To address why the City Council doesn’t have a budget to support art projects like Moot.

What city would you twin Nottingham with and why? Berlin, so I could write a funding application that involves some sort of project about the importance of twinning cities in order for me to get a free studio and accommodation to make stuff over there.

Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an Etcha-Sketch and says to the bar man… Given that one embraces the multiplicity of narrative interpretation that characterizes the postmodern and also Baudrillard’s putative exchange mechanism: the gift economy… to what extent do you feel able to read this text (etch-a-sketch) as a form of exchange that equates to the use value of two pints of wheat beer and a packet of salted peanuts?

What’s your creative niche? I am aware that some will see me as ‘that bloke who does dodgy art about England’.

Most influential artist? Mark Wallainger (he tackles profundity with integrity and wit).

Current activity? A commission in the North and South exhibition at Southampton Gallery. My contribution includes an installation of dancing shirts and underpants, paintings of Y fronts, photography and assemblages with tea sets and toy soldiers.

What’s your favourite art space in Nottingham?

That vast hole in the ground at Weekday Cross, which is so pregnant with potential.

Who in Nottingham are you collaborating with?

Usha and Simon, VJ Moongold and DJ ex friendly, The May Hoppaz, Angela Warren and Nottingham Cabaret Collective. Alex Farquarson, Tanya Myers, Black Pig Morris, Paul Smith and Sherwood Rise Residents’ Association.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Listen to yourself and trust what you hear.

What happened to you today? Most days start with espresso and end with wine. Some involve moments of secular transcendence.

Favourite quote? ‘And was Jerusalem builded here, Amongst these dark, satanic mills.’ William Blake.

What would you demonstrate against? The threat to hard-won liberties posed by multiculturalism in general and militant Islam in particular.

You are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? Bring back real stone paving and cobbled roads, abolish tarmac, expand the city boundaries to include the complacent suburbs that benefit hugely from their proximity to one of the most creative cities in Europe.

What city would you twin Nottingham with and why? Lille. The enterprise of James Oldknow ties Lille to Nottingham.

www.mootgallery.org

www.chrislewisjones.co.uk

Ellie Harrison What’s your creative niche? I used to obsessively collect data about my everyday life: photographing everything I ate, recording the total distance I travelled in a year, working out the number of gaseous emissions I produced. But recently I’m trying to take a more collaborative approach to my practice.

What makes you an artist? I keep churning stuff out regardless of whether anyone wants it. There’s a drive that makes you work, work, work.

Most influential artist? Tehching Hsieh is the most amazing artist I know. His current project is to live to 100, which I’ve also decided to give a go.

Current activity? I’m working on a series of networking events for female artists, writers and curators called Hen Weekend and also coordinating Notts on Tour where I take a group of forty artists, curators and art folk based in Nottingham on a road trip to Germany.

How can we access your work? Until the end of July, Broadway Café Bar has I’ve Been Watching You which is an animated notebook chronicling the anecdotes, thoughts and reviews relating to the 207 films I have watched whilst working as an usher at the cinema.

What is your favourite art space in Nottingham? Moot gallery Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with? Moot someday and CCAN when it’s up and running.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Get a website. Without one nobody will know you exist.

Get yourself a decent email address using your URL and keep it for life. Present yourself as professionally as possible when contacting people and writing proposals.

You are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? I’d pull down that ridiculous Eastcroft incinerator then have some militant law which involved fining everyone for making unnecessary car journeys. I’d improve bike and pedestrian routes and only allow these modes of transport in the city centre.

Finish this: A man walks into a bar with an Etch-aSketch and says to the bar man… Hey come on man, I’m not going to sketch myself a drink!

What’s your creative niche? Random thoughts and images of situations or moments interest me.

What makes you an artist? Capturing certain moments or feelings on film, video or as a photograph that influences and inspires other people.

Most influential filmmaker? Stanley Kubrick, for his raw imagination and the way he used to work with his scripts, actors and his style of filming.

Current activity? I’ve just finished directing two projects in LA and two in the UK. These are a music video for the Nottingham band Captain Dangerous and a thirty minute educational film to raise awareness of guns, knives and drugs crime. The film’s release should be later this year at The Broadway Cinema. The projects in LA were two short films that I wrote, produced and directed called Le Boxeur and Konflooent. They premiered in Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles.

How can we access your work? There’s a few bits on YouTube. Type in ‘Konflooent’ or ‘LBKPictures’ What’s your favourite art space in Nottingham? I really want to check out the new art centre on Station Street and will be doing so next week.

Who in Nottingham would you like to collaborate with? Chris Cooke or Shane Meadows.

Top tip for upcoming artists? Keep working at it and always keep an open mind to what you come across and remember. Network!

What happened to you today? I woke up with a stinking hangover from a leaving party at the house I’m staying at in LA… the rest of the day I’m going to be packing as I have to come back to England tomorrow.

Favourite quote? ‘Free Mahimahi, Free Mahimahi… if you will.’ It’s from the film Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore, Steven Baldwin and Kylie Minogue.

You are standing in as the Mayor of Nottingham. What is top of your agenda? I’d arrange more events, art festivals and interactive things for people walking around the city.

www.ellieharrison.com

www.myspace.com/majsta_rajsta

Raj Pathak

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

23

words: Al Needham

Not only is the Evening Post a good place to sell a used pram or write a moaning letter about the Council to, but one of its former journalists has written the best footy book we’ve read this year – and possibly the final word on the reign of the godlike Brian Clough. Duncan Hamilton’s Provided You Don’t Kiss Me is a painfully honest account of his career as the Post’s Forest correspondent and a comprehensive dismantling of the Clough myth. We had a word with him when he stopped off in town on a promotional tour…

What made you write this book?

I saw Old Big ‘Ead in The Spirit Of The Man at the Playhouse, thinking it’d be a one-man show, where they’d pick out the best quotes. I was quite surprised to see what they’d done with it, with a supporting cast. I thought, why don’t I tell the story of Clough as I knew him?

Was it a hard book to write?

No. It was very easy once I’d started. I decided that if I could write a handful of pages, I could do a book. I started at the beginning of September 2005, a year after he had died, and finished the first draft by December.

So it wasn’t a cash-in book…

To be honest with you, I’d stopped writing about sport. I’d spent the last twelve years of my career desperately trying to get away from being a football writer. Now it’s gone full circle…

A lot of the reviews of the book express surprise that a Post journo could be such a good writer…

I haven’t seen any of the reviews yet! I’m slightly surprised that so many people are still interested in Clough. I’ve been to readings and there are kids there who weren’t even born when he was managing Forest.

You must have had the best job in Nottingham in the late seventies and early seventies…

It never felt like it! It was a very hard job, because it was a very long season. I used to work non-stop for 48 weeks a year, from the pre-season tours to the end of the season.

Did you go out on the lash with the players?

Only on pre-season tours. I used to go round to Johnny Metgod’s house for dinner and when I wrote a column with Viv Anderson, I’d always seem to ring him up when he was in bed watching videos. The players were so easy to deal with then. Nowadays, I feel I’d be endlessly chasing up players and not getting interviews. I spoke to the Forest correspondent at the Post the

24

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

other day and asked him about the access with Calderwood and he said that when he asks for a post-game interview on Saturday, Calderwood says; ‘I can fit you in on Thursday’. I mean, they’re in the old Third Division. Who do these people think they are?

We can’t imagine any of Clough’s players shitting on the floors of Lace Market bars...

He was such a disciplinarian that you never had any problems on tours. Justin Fashanu once put his fist through a hotel door, but that was because he woke up from a nightmare, didn’t know where he was and was terrified. Not as terrified as Viv Anderson, though. He dived under the bed…

Who was your favourite player?

John Robertson. Basically because when you saw him in the morning, it gave you hope that you could be an athlete. Then when you saw him on Saturdays, you couldn’t believe that this small, fat bloke had managed to get past a defender, whip his foot round the ball and be so accurate. I also loved to watch Trevor Francis, he used to glide across the pitch. But Robbo was more of a cult hero in his day than Psycho ever was in his. He’s now playing the Peter Taylor role to Martin’s Clough at Villa.

Did you expect so many of his players to go into management?

The one thing that surprised me was how long it took Martin O’Neill to find a decent job. It didn’t surprise me that Viv did, or Frank Clark, or Larry Lloyd. There were one or two others that I knew were going to find it difficult. Peter Shilton worked so hard at his own game and became the best goalie in the country, but he couldn’t translate it into management. The really ironic thing is that Roy Keane has got the job Clough always wanted and I think he’ll do a brilliant job at Sunderland.

Do you think that there should be a Peter Taylor statue in Nottingham as well?

I think they should do something at Forest straight away and it makes me angry to think that they haven’t. Here was someone who was synonymous with the success Forest had – it was always ‘Clough and Taylor’. I’m sure if Brian were here now, he’d insist that Forest would do something for him. Whether they do remains to be seen.

It’s funny to see three cities fighting over the soul of Brian Clough.

Well, Nottingham has the greater claim, because this was where he won the European Cup. Derby was where he lived and Middlesborough was his hometown.

So what did he really think of Nottingham?

I think he felt that Nottingham deserved him. He was never going to live in Nottingham as he was happy where he was in Derbyshire. But then again, Peter Taylor was never going to leave Nottingham when they managed Derby. I think his biggest mistake in Nottingham was that he could have pushed a 60,000seater stadium for both Forest and Notts. A shame, really, I think Nottingham would have benefited enormously from it.

What was the weirdest conversation you had with him?

When he called me up and said ‘Someone’s putting it about Nottingham that I’m going barmy’. What the hell can you say to that? Oh, we had loads of weird conversations, just because of the length of time we spent together.

Was Jimmy Sirrel really as bad as you claim in the book?

Oh, he was dreadful and yes, he really did lick the top of the tomato ketchup bottle at team meals. I’d not been covering Notts very long and after I’d written a piece about a new goalie having a half of bitter in the club bar, he went ballistic at me for ‘portraying my player as a drunkard’ and refused to talk to me again. It was absolutely pointless getting a quote out of him. I remember a press conference after a match, and a journo covering the opposing club asked him if he was going to fine a player who’d been sent off. Jimmy said ‘It’s none of your fucking business.’ He still goes back to Meadow Lane to have a bath, you know.

Does he?

I don’t know what it is about football managers and baths.

Cloughie always used to say ‘I’m going for a bath now’ and would disappear for an hour and a half. Anyway recently, Jimmy was in the bath at Meadow Lane and he had a shave and dozed off, not realising he’s nicked his neck. One of the young lads walked in, saw the ring of blood around his neck and screamed ‘Oh my God! Jimmy’s dead!’

What would Clough have said about your book if he were alive?

He wouldn’t have read it. Or he would have read it and said nothing, like he always did.

For more musings on all things Cloughular, including a longer version of this interview, check www.leftlion.co.uk/sport Provided You Don’t Kiss Me, published by Fourth Estate, is out now.

Eight Other Notts Football Books words: Al Needham and Jared Wilson

With Clough: By Taylor Peter Taylor and Mike Langley Long out of print and hard to get hold of, but a vital part of Forest history. Peter Taylor, the Meadows lad who was the other (criminally forgotten) half of the greatest managerial partnership in football, takes us inside and tells us what made Clough tick. Sadly, this tale - of a crocked striker and second-string goalie’s rise from driving a coach for Hartlepools to dragging Forest to the pinnacle of European football - was the beginning of the end of their relationship. As cash-in ghost-written autobiographies of the pre-Premiership era go, this is very good indeed. Whether it was worth the fuss it caused is another matter entirely.

Clough: The Autobiography and Cloughie: Walking On Water Brian Clough and John Sadler

205 pages – Sidgwick and Jackson (1980) – Out of print

319 and 352 pages - Partridge Press and Headline (1994 and 2002) - both £7.99

192 pages - Parrs Wood Press (2003) - £9.99

Deep Into The Forest Daniel Taylor

The Complete Centre-Forward David McVay and Andy Smith

OOH AAH STANTONA Phil Stant

IF THE KIDS ARE UNITED Tony Hill

Wish we’d thought of this one; a Guardian journo picks out fourteen of his favourite Forest players and has a natter with ‘em. The selection process is a bit argument-inducing - Stan Collymore and Wallet Webb get the nod over Martin O’Neill, Frank Clark, Tony Woodcock and Peter Withe, while Roy Keane still gets a chapter even though he can’t be arsed with an interview. Bonus points to the author for interviewing Peter Storey-Moore and reminding everyone that Forest had a history before Clough and Taylor, though.

Forget Gazza, George Best and all those wasters; no-one soared higher and sunk lower than Tommy Lawton. The consummate striker of his era, Lawton defied all laws of rationality when he broke the transfer record by going from First Division Chelsea to Third Division Notts County in 1947. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean much financially and he eked out a postcareer life in local pubs having booze forced down his neck by hangers-on, turning out a column for the Evening Post and even dealing with a fraud allegation. If you’re a County fan and you haven’t got this you need it in your collection.

Phil Stant was your typical journeyman footballer, playing up front for both Notts County and Mansfield Town amongst other clubs. Oh, and he also served in the SAS in the Falklands War - facing a back line that was brutally tricky even by Argentinean standards - before buying himself out to join Hereford United. This is a brutally honest warts, bruises, groin strains-and-all read, that almost makes up for all the rammel books Andy McNab has punted out.

You can’t talk about football in Notts without catering to the glory-hunting, Big-Clubsupporting Judases that infest our fair city.

This book is the memoirs of a Jacksdale lad who broke his Forest-supporting Dad’s heart by following Man United, and fits the bill perfectly.

It’s not a bad read either; an East Midlands Fever Pitch without the middle-class guilt complex, if you will. It also points out that DH Lawrence once got panned in a local pub for not supporting a Nottingham team.

288 pages – John Blake Publishing (2006) £17.99

208 pages – Phoenix Books (2000) - £9.99

Naturally, one autobiography wasn’t enough for Ode Big ‘Ead – he filled two of ‘em with the assistance of longstanding Sun hack John Sadler. The first is best (or worst) remembered for his assertion that the Hillsborough disaster was the fault of Liverpool supporters. The second, written near the end of his life, is more contrite and sentimental. Reading it is like listening to a favourite Grandpa in his armchair on a Sunday afternoon, while you’re on the floor playing Subbuteo and eating fun-sized Mars Bars.

Steak Diana Ross David McVay Probably the best book of the lot. This is the diaries of a Notts County journeyman in the mid seventies, when being a professional footballer gave you the same status as the weatherman on ATV Today, you travelled back from a home game on the same bus as the supporters and you had to supplement your income delivering eggs in the Meadows. Warning: this book contains graphic descriptions of knee-tremblers with Mansfield housewives under Trent Bridge and how Jimmy Sirrel used to lick the tops of tomato ketchup bottles during pre-match meals.

My Father And Other Working Class Football Heroes Gary Imlach Former William Hill Sports Book of the Year, written by the son of the man of the match of Forest’s last FA Cup victory in 1959 (who usually pitches up for ITV at the Tour de France and the Super Bowl). This is an unashamed lament for what football and Nottingham used to be before the former went rubbish and corporate and the latter was cocked up by sixties planners. It’s the total antithesis to all the ghost-written cack that clogs up discount bookshops today and is all the better for it.

256 pages - Yellow Jersey Press (2005) - £7.99

240 pages - Parrs Wood Press (2005) - £9.99

200 pages - Sportsbooks Ltd (2000) - £14.99

Read reviews of these books and interviews with David McVay, Gary Imlach and Daniel Taylor on www.leftlion.co.uk/sport and www.leftlion.co.uk/literature www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

25

OUT&ABOUT

LeftLion legs it out of the house while the weather is still decent and looks at a load of things going on around your doorstep that you can get involved with. Our people on the street this time are Mary Gallagher, Shanthi Sekaran and George Dubbaya.

The Big Wheel’s Big Day Out

Belly Power

It’s summer festival time again and Nottingham hasn’t been left out of this year’s calendar. On 22 September The Big Wheel will be holding its very own music and arts festival absolutely free in the Castle.

It’s not often that women get to celebrate their bellies. We spend a lot of time sucking them in, crunching them down and covering them in last season’s god-sends, smock tops. But bellydancing at the Art Organisation is a chance for dancers to celebrate their natural form, whatever their shape, ability or age. Originating from the Arabic regions, belly dancing was traditionally used to prepare young women for pregnancy and childbirth.

Nowadays you’re more likely to see it performed in a restaurant than an ante-natal class, but the experience can still be empowering.

This one-day event will be packed with entertainment to suit all interests. Previous year’s festivals were great successes with acts such as Capoeira dancers and parkour by the Urban Freeflow Krew drawing huge crowds (9000 people came last time!). Music came from artists such as the Funky Monkey DJ’s and Shanti sound system, with hands on workshops for music fans to get stuck into.

Top of the list this year is the popular Luminarium, created by Architects of Air and just like all of the other events on The Big Day Out it will be completely free. This is a 1000 square feet structure of constantly changing colour and sound. Along side that will be some great street performers and musicians. You’ll also be able to pick up some skills from performers keen to show you what it’s all about. As you can see the day will be jam packed but don’t forget to take some time out to enjoy the ‘creative tent’ or treat yourself to some alternative therapies in the Healing Zone.

The message behind the Big Day Out is green transport and how we use it in Nottingham.

The Big Wheel joins all types of transport together giving us more choices. The way we travel can help make Nottingham a greener, more pleasant place to live and work.

If you would like any more information on the Big Day Out then email bigwheel@gnpartnership.org.uk or check out their website www.thebigwheel.org.uk

Lady Tati teaches beginner and intermediate classes on Tuesday evenings. ‘Students learn to be more confident and enjoy themselves as women,’ she says, ‘regardless of how they look.’

Her classes draw on a combination of belly dance traditions, from cabaret and Egyptian to tribal.

The movements themselves place a surprising emphasis on the legs and hips, not just the abdomen. If you feel like a bit of a lout at first, you won’t for long. The idea is to develop enough muscle control to execute the kinds of tummypulses and belly waves that would raise the envy of any pilates instructor.

Improvisation is key to the dance, and a big part of each class. But not to worry, the environment here is supportive and welcoming. Tati makes sure students meet each other before each session begins and the atmosphere is not perfectionist. You won’t have to bare your belly if you’re not ready to either. Students wear loose, comfortable clothing and a hip scarf. You might even invest in a scarf sewn with jingling coins - all the better to hear your hips move!

Classes are for women only, from 6-7pm and 7-8:30pm every Tuesday. Hour-long beginner sessions cost £4 and 90-minute intermediate sessions are £5.50. www.theartorganisation.co.uk

No More Knives

Directing Actors

No More Knives is an interactive website and DVD which has been produced by Nottingham Crime and Drugs Partnership in response to local young people’s concerns around knife crime.

Nottingham is fast becoming a hive for filmmakers. As well as being the set for recent big budget British flicks like Anton Corbijn’s Control, it has a great short film festival in Bang! and a collaborative community of experienced and upcoming filmmakers.

Knife crime continues to have a devastating effect on those who have been directly affected by it. There have been a recent series of high profile tragedies across the country involving the use of knives by young people, and Nottingham itself has seen two deaths since the turn of the year.

The website has been designed in consultation with young people, victims and convicted offenders and along with the DVD, it is aimed at providing information and resources that enable debate and discussion between young people. The ultimate goal of the initiative is to encourage people who carry, or who are thinking of carrying a knife, to not carry one and to seek positive alternatives.

The website has been live since March 2007 and on 16 July the site received its ten thousandth visitor. 1500 copies of the No More Knives DVD’s have also been distributed in Nottingham, (these can be obtained through the website).

The website contains a short documentary which shows the consequences of knife crime from all perspectives; the film captures the views of victims and perpetrators and charts the far reaching effects of knife crime. The documentary was filmed by Azuka Nottz in various locations in Nottingham. The website provides an opportunity to leave feedback and contains various links to other resources relating to knife crime and the wider crime and drugs agenda. www.nomoreknives.com

26

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

Now Chris Cooke (director of feature film One for the Road) and Dena Smiles (star of Shane Meadows’ breakthrough feature film Small Time) have got together to organise a pilot course for filmmakers and actors to learn more about each other.

‘I worked for DVShorts teaching directors to work with actors and the feedback from new directors was really positive,’ Cooke told us. ‘While it was great to spend time developing a script or sorting out the budget, very little attention was given to working with cast. What if they arrived on the first day of the shoot and they didn’t know what to say to an actor? Dena pointed out that actors need to share their experiences of being directed as well as learn about directing themselves.’

So between Cooke and Smiles an idea was born for a course which would allow directors and actors to swap roles, share their experiences and support each other.

‘I found the hardest part of directing a film is working with actors and interpreting the story through others, said Cooke. ‘With more experience I learnt that collaboration was the key and put that into practice when I directed my feature, a film now noted for it’s performances in particular.’

The Pilot of this course takes place on Wednesday 26 September 2007. If you want to find out more email info@em-media.org.uk stating ‘Directing-actors’ course in the subject header.

Nottingham

Nottingham City Council

proud to present

RiversideFestival VICTORIA EMBANKMENT 3, 4 & 5 AUGUST

• ROOTS & WORLD MUSIC • FUN FAIR RIDES • RIVER ACTIVITY

Safer, cleaner, ambitious

Nottingham A city we’re all proud of

• STREET FAIR • CRAFT MARKETS • FIREWORKS

AND LOTS MORE FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY!

Visit www.nottinghamcity.gov.uk/enjoy for more information

FOPP CLOSES DOWN Fopp had its good points, but ultimately if you make things ridiculously cheap, all you do is crush healthy competition and do yourself up the bum in the process. Fuck it, eh? As long as we all have 70GBs of poor quality MP3s we downloaded for free, 80% of which we barely ever listen to, that’s all that matters.

Lewis The demographics still buying music in any kind of numbers are middle-aged people who can’t work technology and the cash-rich/time-poor. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why the Coldplays and Keanes are the only acts recouping and therefore getting label support.

Cheque At least Fopp provided something of an alternative to faceless corporations like HMV and Virgin. That said, their business strategy seemed to be ‘move into an area where there’s already an indie store, and basically steal all their customers.’ jonas Fopp was cheap, offered a wide selection of music, had a half-decent back catalogue and the staff were knowledgeable and friendly. What’s wrong with that?

Disko Chimp It is a shame. I enjoyed wandering in and picking up random DVDs for a fiver, but I can do that online just as easily, probably cheaper too...

Jamie If you don’t provide a unique or specialised service you’re going to get hammered by the online shops who have a huge back catalogue in a cheap warehouse. peej

WHAT DO YOU WITH YOUR OLD ISSUES OF LEFTLION? After reading the latest copy of LL and enjoying it thoroughly I was wondering what uses have you found for your copy of LeftLion once you have consumed all it’s information and entertainment?

Mr BRJ I like to watch my copy burn, in yellowy, blue fire flames. This has now become a regular ritual in my back garden.

Sara Mine almost got used as toilet paper today, until I realised I had another roll. That moment where I thought I might have to wipe my bum on Lucy Porter’s face was quite weird though…

TheAllSeeingPie I just put it back where I’ve found it and vow never to pick one up again and then forget and do it all over again. I’ll never bloody learn. theonelikethe One use for an unrequired copy has been to place it underneath the cat’s litter tray for overflow absorbtion. He shit all over The Klaxons. Sorry. myhouse-yourhouse I give mine to the poor, after stealing it from the rich.

The King of Woolworths In the Gladstone they’re using pages of LL to line the floor at the back whilst they’re doing some improvements.

Ninja Sis Cheeky fuckers.

Jared

28

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

words: Nathan Miller Now in its third year of operation, the Momentum Festival is Hoodtown’s biggest celebration of fresh playwriting talent.

Taking place at the Lakeside Arts Centre from 21-25 August, this summer’s offering is the largest yet, with twelve different plays by thirteen writers being presented over the five days, not to mention workshops ranging from first person storytelling to how to deliver the perfect pitch. This year the festival has also opened up both to established local writers (Stephen Lowe, writer of last year’s Playhouse hit Old Big ‘Ead in The Spirit of the Man is presenting Smile, a new work in progress) and to international ones (writers from Togo, Mauritania and Algeria are being showcased in the self-explanatory Three Short Plays from Africa).

Momentum was devised by the Nottingham-based Theatre Writing Partnership in 2004 when they realised that there didn’t seem to be enough young writers around for the young writers’ programme they’d just started. ‘Having existed for several years and encountered very few writers under thirty, we decided to actively seek out and support new playwrights from our region,’ says festival producer Sarah Françoise. “There’s now a healthy, inspiring infrastructure here with professional playwrights helping to discover and nurture the next generation of theatre writers. The festival is all about giving a platform to voices from the East Midlands and what you will find if you come to see the work is that these voices are unexpected, bold and most of all, entertaining.”

We spoke to Momentum veteran Declan Keen, whose play The Execution of Damiens is on throughout the festival, and Swedishborn, Notts-based Ivar Waldemarson, whose Felicia Fallecido is being shown as a work in progress performance on Thursday 23 August: How did you get involved with the Festival?

Ivar: By joining a playwriting group led by the Theatre Writing Partnership.

Declan: My first short play, Samuel’s Head On My Table headlined in 2005, I’ve been a regular ever since.

What was the first piece of writing that made a real impact on you?

Declan: George Orwell’s Animal Farm which my dad made me read when I was eleven, then continued to ask if I ‘got it,’ then spent the day telling me about the Russian Revolution. It was the first moment I realised how many different ways writing can be looked at. It’s an important moment in my life, after which I went forth and read more than I ever used to.

Ivar: It’s hard to say what was the first. It might have been the The Phantom of the Opera, which I was completely obsessed with at the age of nine.

What are your plays this year about?

Declan: The Execution of Damiens is literally that: the execution of Robert Francois Damiens, the man who attempted to kill King Louis XV. Though it’s not quite historically correct. Throw in a handful of musical lepers akin to a traditional Greek chorus and you’ll begin to get the picture.

Ivar: Felicia Fallecido is about waking up and realising that reality is not what you want it to be. Have you ever woken up and wished you were back in your dreams? In the play a man tries to escape reality to live in his dreams, but reality catches up with him.

Felicia Fallecido is one of the plays being presented as a work in progress. Why show them before they’re finished?

Ivar: Receiving feedback is an important part of the writing progress.

I had a play presented this way on last year’s festival and seeing the play come to life in the hands of actors and a director and hearing the audience’s response helped me see what I needed to develop.

Is there anything particularly ‘Nottinghamian’ about your work?

Ivar: I don’t think so. I’ve been influenced by the way of thinking about playwriting over here, but I think that’s more English culture than ‘Nottinghamian’.

Declan: Well, I was born and bred in Leicester where I still reside so I’d like to think some of the ‘Midlandians’ has rubbed off on me.

How does Momentum fit into Nottingham’s theatreland?

Declan: Momentum is fantastic, there’s no other way of describing it. If it wasn’t for them I’d never have this beginning of a career that I have. It complements the fact that Nottingham has a refreshing and diverse theatre scene unlike some parts of the Midlands, where more theatres would always be welcome.

Ivar: Momentum opens up change in the theatrical scene of Nottingham by exploring new forms and new voices.

Are there any other events at the festival you’re particularly looking forward to?

Ivar: In last year’s festival I enjoyed more or less everything. I’m looking forward to seeing a lot of new writing and working with inspiring people in the workshops.

Declan: The workshops, they’re always intriguing.

If you had to choose, DH Lawrence or Lord Byron?

Declan: Give me Kafka or Conrad.

Anything else you’d like to say?

Declan: Other than everyone should go to Momentum because it’s brilliant with a real high class of exciting work?’ No. Momentum runs all day, August 21-25 at the Lakeside Arts Centre.

For full listings go to www.theatrewritingpartnership.org.uk

listings...

Monday 13/08 The Ghost Train Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £16.50 (NUS) Times: Various A classic suspense mystery.

Runs Until: 18/08

Monday 20/08 A Touch of Danger Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £16.50 (NUS) Times: Various Fast-paced and full of blind alleys and red herrings.

Runs Until: 25/08

Tuesday 21/08 Momentum Festival Two Gay Men and a Dalek / Mucky Boots Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £3 / £5 (NUS) Times: 6pm The Execution of Damiens / Three short plays from Africa Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £5 / £8 (NUS) Times: 8pm Runs Until: 25/08 Bottomless Coffee Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: Free Times: 9:30am Bring your own croissant!

With Rick Hall.

Runs Until: 24/08 Telling Stories in the First Person Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £2 Times: 11am - 1pm Find out the secrets of spinning a good yarn.

Wednesday 22/08 Introduction to Playwriting Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £2 Times: 3pm - 5pm Led by Nina Lyndon and Alexandra Wood (The Eleventh Capital).

Three Branches Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £3 / £5 (NUS) Times: 6pm A touching comic tale, which depicts the ever-challenging human condition - can you truly have it all?

Thursday 23/08 A Long Journey to a Short Answer Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: Free Times: 11am - 1:30pm A chance to explore what it takes to develop an idea into a film script.

Taking the Play for a Walk Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £2 Times: 2:30pm - 5pm Explore how to make theatre in unconventional places.

Felicia Fallecido Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £3 / £5 Times: 6pm

Friday 24/08 In Media Res Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £2 Times: 2pm - 5pm A collaborative, practical and playful exercise in story structure.

Later with Venue: Price: Times:

Paines Plough Lakeside Arts Centre £3 / £5 (NUS) 6pm

exhibitions/ theatre / music/ weeklies Saturday 25/08 The Pitching Forum Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: Free Times: 10am - 12pm A chance to pitch your ideas to industry professionals.

Schrödinger’s Cat is Dead Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: £3 / £5 (NUS) Times: 2pm A comedy of quantum proportions.

Russian Ballet Stars Venue: Royal Centre Price: £24 - £30 Times: 7.30pm

Friday 31/08 The Burial at Thebes Venue: Playhouse Price: £6.50 - £26.50 Times: Various Runs Until: 15/09

Monday 03/09 Ross Noble Venue: Royal Centre Price: £24 - £30 Times: 8pm House Guest Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £16.50 (NUS) Times: Various Runs Until: 08/09

Friday 07/09 Anorak of Fire Venue: Bonington Theatre Price: £5 / £7 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 08/09

Saturday 08/09 Angina Monocles Venue: Lace Market Theatre Price: £10 Times: 8pm

Tuesday 11/09 Starlight Express Venue: Royal Centre Price: £14 - £34.50 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 29/11

Tuesday 18/09 Norman Lovett’s Slide Show Venue: Playhouse Price: £15 Times: 8pm Romeo and Juliet Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 - £30 (NUS) Times: Various Passionate and dramatic, this is dance theatre at its most intense.

Runs Until: 22/09

Thursday 20/09 Hoof!

Venue: Playhouse Price: £8 / £10 / £12 Times: 8pm No pre-planning, no audience prompts and definitely no cheating.

Friday 21/09 Invisible Bonfires Venue: Playhouse Price: £8 / £10 / £12 Times: 8pm Runs Until: 22/09

Monday 24/09 Charley’s Aunt Venue: Lace Market Theatre Price: £6 - £8.50 Times: 7.30pm, Sat: 2.30pm Runs Until: 29/09

Tuesday 25/09 Adventures of Tintin Venue: Royal Centre Price: £8 - £24 (NUS) Times: Various Runs Until: 29/09

Friday 28/09 The Changeling Venue: Playhouse Price: £6.50 - £26.50 (NUS) Times: 8pm Runs Until: 13/10

Exhibitions Saturday 23/06 Cult Fiction Venue: Nottingham Castle Price: Free Times: Various Runs Until: 02/09 See box below for more info.

Alchemy Venue: Lakeside Price: Free Times: All day Questioning what photography is and does. Twelve artists focus on photography’s essential properties: light, optics and chemistry.

Runs Until: 12/08

Saturday 07/07 Chacker Chacker Venue: Moot Price: Free Craig Cooper, Tim Machin, Kelly Mark and Michael Stumpf.

Runs Until: 05/08

Monday 23/07 MA zing Venue: The Art Organisation Price: Free Times: 11am - 7pm MA zing showcases the work of recent graduates from the MA Visual Art course at Nottingham Trent University School of Art and Design.

With work from Gioia Kinzbruner, Joe Wong, Sandrea Simons, Soo Kwon, Innocent Chikezie, Joon H Kwon, Catherine Preston, Tetsuya Fukushima, Leif Gifford, Heather Wharam and Lucy Stevens.

Runs Until: 04/08

Tuesday 24/07 ‘Inspired’ by Jill Perry and Lizzie Adcock Venue: View from The Top Price: Free Inspired from Medieval manuscripts to Elizabethan textiles this celebration of art and textiles combines original works, including paintings, prints, framed textiles, costume, gifts and interior delights.

Runs Until: 06/08 Marie Helene Collection Venue: View from The Top Price: Free Times: 9am - 7pm (Mon-Sat) 10:30am - 5pm (Sun) Contemporary Digital Photographic Art presented by Sandy Camel Media Productions.

Runs Until: 06/08

Monday 06/08 Wojciech Tomas Tatarczyk Venue: The Art Organisation Price: Free Times: 11am - 7pm Runs Until: 16/08

Wednesday 08/08 Fresh Art and Design Venue: View from The Top Price: Free An Open Exhibition and Silent Art Auction featuring emerging talent from the Midlands creative scene.

Runs Until: 02/09

Friday 17/08 Jee Whizz Venue: The Art Organisation Price: Free Times: 11am - 7pm Exploring broadly the themes of self-image and identity.

Runs Until: 23/08

Monday 27/08 Round-about live Venue: The Art Organisation Price: Free Times: 11am - 7pm Come and see artwork made before your very eyes!

Saturday 28/07

Wednesday 18/07 Business as Usual Venue: Angel Row Gallery Price: Free A three-week project taking place between two exhibitions when the gallery would normally be closed for re-hanging. Sculptural objects and interventions by Maxine Bristow, Susan Collis, Sean Edwards, and David Ersser will be displayed in the foyer area of the gallery and in a previously ‘hidden’ store.

Runs Until: 04/08

Shifting Ground Venue: Angel Row Gallery Price: Free Shifting Ground marks the historic final show at Angel Row Gallery.

This group exhibition presents work inspired by the ever-changing nature of our urban environment.

Runs Until: 22/09

To get listed on these pages, add your event to leftlion.co.uk. By doing so we’ll include you in the magazine, it’s completely free and simple to do. Use this form:

leftlion.co.uk/add Please note. We try to ensure that all events are correct at time of print, but always with the venue or promoter before you set off to avoid disapointment.

Cult fiction An entertaining and thoughtful exhibition of art and comics have been brought together in union at Nottingham Castle.

There is a plethora of great artists on show who have created hangings, ink drawings, storyboards, sculptures and printed comics.

Featuring work from David Shrigley, Jon Pylypchuk, Killoffer and Daniel Clowes, you will be titillated, amused and enlightened by these idiosyncratic accounts and surreal tales. Shrigley’s cat basket looks like it is freeze-framed in animation, spilling out-of-date custard through its wicker-weave gaps.

Viewing Travis Millard’s ink drawing of the character ‘Sally’ from his mini-zine “Class Picture Day at the School for Hairy Faced Children”, with her drugPaul McDevitt. Ghost of Declan Clarke addled face covered in locks of hair, is intriguingly odd - like (after Hokusai), 2005 © the artist 2007 looking at the Mona Lisa on psychedelics.

The depiction of fiction by these artists can be seen as both sinister and bizarre as they use the comic and graphic novel, a medium for ‘kidulthood’, as an outlet for real and surreal concepts.

During August, Broadway Cinema is screening graphic novel adaptations including American Splendor and Ghost World. Comic book and animation workshops are running at the Castle for adults on 11th August, for fifteen to seventeen-year-olds on 31st July and twelve to fourteen-year-olds on 28th August. There is a fee for workshops. A free talk by Paul Gravett on his essay ‘Intimate and Strange Situations’ is on Saturday 4th August 2.30 – 4.00pm. Booking is essential at all events: 0115 9153651 Pull a sicky from work and head out to the Castle to absorb the ideas of the comic art creators.

Cult Fiction is at Nottingham Castle 14th July – 2nd September 2007.

listings...

Wednesday 01/08 Battle of the Bands Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Firebrand, Little Mono, The Original Dave Band and Numb.

Thursday 02/08 Dollface Venue: Maze Price: £1.50 / £2 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm Plus Bazooka Joe, Pointy Boss and Sheriff Fatman.

Live Music Thursday’s Venue: Hard Rock Cafe Mellow Rebellion and Kalena.

Michael Schenker Group Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £15 Times: 7.30pm NotSoPretty Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £3 Times: 8.30pm - 2am Plus Jet Boys, Anyhigh and Lo-Fi Jack.

Radar Presents Venue: Social Price: £4.50 (NUS) Times: 9.30pm - 3am Monkey Swallows The Universe.

Tom Wardle Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 9pm

Friday 03/08 Mindvox Presents Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 Times: 7.30pm The Bets, Messini Assault, The Four Last Things and Dlugokeck.

Party with Daddy Bones Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm DJ Deep Joy Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm Tales From The Riverbank Style: Soul, Ska, Indie Venue: Canalhouse bar Price: £3 Times: 7.30pm - 1.00am Self Against City Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 / £7 Times: 7.30pm - 11:30pm Plus The Secret Handshake, Kill The Arcade and 3 Storeys High.

Andrew Bunney Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm

Saturday 04/08 Bison Venue:

Maze

The Log Jam Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm Stealth V’s Rescued Venue: Stealth Price: £4 Times: 10pm - 6am Lo Fi Fink, Liars Club DJ’s and Stiff Kittens DJ’s.

The 80s Match Box B-Line Disaster Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7pm

exhibitions/ theatre / music / weeklies Saturday 04/08 DJ Dave Coghlan Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm LeftLion Presents Venue: Orange Tree Price: Free Times: 7pm - 12am Computerman, Support to be confirmed and Stiff Kittens DJs. Wildside Club Night Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 9pm - 2am Music Library Party Venue: Moog Price: £3 adv Times: 5pm - late With The Soundcarriers, Diagonal, Midwich Youth Club, Betty and ID.

Friday 10/08 Sublogik Style: DnB, Dub, Ska Venue: Maze Price: £4 after 10:30pm Times: 9:30pm - 2:00am Mr Fijjitt, Suspect One, DJ Smith and Steff B.

Supernight Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am Charlie (Percussion) Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm

Ben Coppin Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm

Drag The Lake Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 8pm - 2am Plus Daor and Milicent Grove.

Sunset 3 Venue: Price: Times:

Floorman Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

Sunday 05/08

(live PA) Bluu Free 8pm

Saturday 11/08

Songwriters Sunday Venue: Maze Price: £4 Times: 8pm Gren Bartley, Tina Taylor and Becky Syson as host.

Bosch!

Venue: Maze Price: £2 Times: 10pm - 2am Kidboy, Ben Belton, Lawrence Graham, Mouse and Ligre.

Rolling Clones Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

The Go*Go Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am

Monday 06/08 The Cruxshadows Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm

Tuesday 07/08 Our Last Confession Venue: Maze Price: £2 / £3 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm Plus Thousands of Reflections and Baddies.

A Thousand Battles Lost Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Plus Massacre On Broadway, The Innocent Awaits and El Cielo.

Wednesday 08/08

4ft Fingers Venue: Rock City Price: £5 Times: 7.30pm Haiki Loki Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm Dark Sparks Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Plus Erika Black and Gallery 47.

Psycle Style: Venue: Times:

Trance BluePrint 9pm - late

Alex Traska Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm

Sunday 12/08

I’m Not From London Venue: Maze Price: Free Times: 8pm The Kull, Doberman, The Big Bang and Par Excellence.

Roy De Wired Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Battle of the Bands Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am The Engines of Armageddon, Milicent Grove,Vim and Vigor and Dubmasters.

Aquarius Entertainment Venue: Maze Price: Free / £1 / £2.50 / £4 Times: 6pm - late Heroes of Switzerland, Alright The Captain, Sideshow, Souldrive, Ambidextrous and Pariah.

Thursday 09/08 Live Music Thursday’s Venue: Hard Rock Cafe Price: Free Times: 9pm The Flying Aces and Snakeskin.

The Dwarves Venue: Rock City Price: £12 Times: 7.30pm

PG Six Venue: Price: Times:

Rescue Rooms £6 7.30pm

Brasstonbury Ska Half-Dayer Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 Times: 6pm - 11:30pm With Catch it Kebabs, A is for Ape, VFA, zombies Of Ska, Offbeat Contingency and Arse Full of Chips.

Monday 13/08

Thursday 17/08

Richie Muir Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm

Big Country Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £15 Times: 7.30pm

The Hoosiers Venue: Social Price: £5 Times: 8pm

Audiophile Venue: Loft Price: Free b4 11 / £2 Times: 7pm - late Bam Bam (Big Chill), Fat Chris, Mr Ed and Supine.

Damn You! Presents Venue: Maze Price: £6 / £7 Times: 8.30pm Dead Meadow plus Arboretum.

Silverchair Venue: Rock City Price: £16 Times: 7.30pm

Tuesday 14/08 Piney GIR Venue: Social Price: £6 Times: 8pm

Wednesday 15/08 Maze Jam Venue: Price: Times:

Night Maze Free 8pm

Fightstar Venue: Price: Times:

Rescue Rooms £10 6.30pm

Battle of the Bands Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 3.30pm - 12am With New Offenders, The Second Wave, Geezer Safari and Diversion of the Masses.

Thursday 16/08 Jason Heart Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Loomer (Canada) Venue: Maze Price: £8 adv Times: 7.30pm Plus Support from Michael P. Lois Venue: Price: Times:

Hard Rock Cafe Free 9pm

Return of Venue: Price: Times:

The Kings Royal Centre £16 / £18 7.30pm

The Music Venue: Price: Times:

Library Moog Free 5pm - 3am

Friday 17/08 Farmyard Presents Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 9pm Magik, And What Will Be Left Of Them, Dirty Hands and Mr Jones.

V.I.P Venue: Loft Price: £5 adv Times: 7pm Music from Smokescreen, Inland Knights, The Little Men and Kinky Movement.

Tegan and Sara Venue: Social Price: £7 Times: 7pm Product Venue: Stealth Price: £7 Times: 10pm James Jones

Bright Eyes Venue: Royal Centre Price: £17.50 Times: 7pm Trashtock UK Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £6 / £8 Times: 8pm - 2am With Winnebago Deal, Red Light Rippers, Silverjet, Kitty Hudson and The Authentics.

Central Avenue Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Plus Greg Dorban.

Kombination Funk Style: DnB Venue: BluePrint Times: 9pm - late

Saturday 18/08 The Herb Birds Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Ronnie Londons Groove Lounge Style: Sixties Venue: Grosvenor Price: £3 Times: 8pm - 1am Road Block Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am Freedom Of Life Venue: Boat Club (The) Price: £6 Times: 1pm - 12am Sanzen, Eighth Day Army, Epoche, El Cielo, Yes My Ninja’s? Felicity Kicks, Pilgrim Sons, Dead Souls and EvenFlow (Pearl Jam Tribute).

The Thunderground Festival Venue: Rock City Price: £22 Times: 1pm Wig Wam, The Poodles, Madmax, Human Zoo and Brother Firetribe.

Trashtock UK Day 2 Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £6 / £8 Times: 6pm - 2am With Sign, Teenage Casket Co. Patchwork Grace, The Pleasures, Crystal Kicks, Obsessive: Compulsive, Sparkling Bombs and Dead Time Stories.

Sunday 19/08 Buster Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

Rock Around the Clock Venue: Maze Price: Free / £1 / £2.50 / £4 Times: 6pm The Bets, Fall Of Jupiter, Pylon Less Wires and The Giveaways.

Tokyo Police Club Venue: The Social Price: £8 Times: 8pm

listings...

Tuesday 21/08 LeftLion Unplugged Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8pm - 11pm Tim Macdonald, Andy Wright (We Show Up On Radar) and Tommy Goodall.

From Autumn To Ashes Venue: Rock City Price: £9 Times: 7.30pm Bric-A-Brac Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £8 Times: 3pm

Wednesday 22/08 Phil Campbell Venue: Maze Price: £6 Times: 7.30pm Plus Becky Syson The Living Venue: Price: Times:

End Rock City £12 7.30pm

Rilo Kiley Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm Voxtrot Venue: Price: Times:

The Social £7 7pm

Battle of the Bands Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am With Change Of Scene, The Brascoes, B-Movie Superstars and Lo-Fi Jack.

Thursday 23/08 The Herb Birds Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Rigbee Deep Venue: Maze Price: £2 Times: 8pm - 12am Plus Jah Bundy, Minister Hill and Nowhere Common.

Seretone Venue: Price: Times: Misnoma Venue: Price: Times:

Hard Rock Cafe Free 9pm The Social £5 8pm

Miss Conduct Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm Plus Firebrand and Elmoe.

Friday 24/08 Paradise Rooftop: For The Love Style: House, Disco, Funk Venue: Saltwater Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Bootsy, Disco Pussy, Big Kid and Squirrel.

I’m Not From London Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am Detonate Venue: Stealth Price: £10 adv Times: 10pm - 4am DnB: Zinc, Artifical Intelligence, Transit Mafia and Theory. MC AD, MC’s Ruthless and Freestyle.

Dubstep: Chef, L.D and Rust.

exhibitions/ theatre / music / weeklies Friday 24/08 Dave Wareing (Redsoul) Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Plus Andy Bunney.

Sticky Morales Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Paradise Rooftop Weekend: MHYH Welcomes...

Style: Disco, Funk, House Venue: Saltwater Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am Danny Donnachie, Machinesoul, Alex Traska. Daniel Donnachie, Machinesoul.

Saturday 25/08 Stika Venue: Price: Times:

Loggerheads Free 8pm - 1.30am

Captain Dangerous Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm The Little Venue: Price: Times:

Ones Social £6 7pm

Cal (Neon Venue: Price: Times:

Heights) Bluu Free 8pm

Sunday 26/08 Nathan Wall Duo Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Paradise Rooftop Weekend : Saltwater Residents Style: House, Disco, Soul Venue: Saltwater Price: Free Times: 8pm - 2am Rick Donohue, Paul Wain, Disco Derby Dave, Fran Green and Dave Cross Bank Holiday Fundraiser Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: All day UK Punk Party - UK Subs Venue: Rock City Price: £8 Times: 7pm Live PA Special Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm With Aurora Dawn, Santi Touch and residents.

Monday 27/08 Robbo Venue: Price: Times:

Southbank Bar Free 8pm

Paradise Rooftop Weekend: Acoustic Dance Venue: Saltwater Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1am The Jays, Jennifer James and Koda Cola.

Tuesday 28/08

I’m Not From London Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am

Wednesday 29/08 Basso Loco Venue: Maze Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Times: 8pm Plus Lyra, O’ Lovely Lie and Monkeys of the Highseas.

Battle of the Bands Semi Final 1 Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am

Thursday 30/08 Richie Muir Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Jimi Hendrix Tribute Night Venue: Maze Price: £6 / £7 Times: 8pm With Spirit of the Experience.

New Offenders and High Vixons Venue: Hard Rock Cafe Price: Free Times: 9pm Beyond The Grave Venue: Rock City Price: £5 Times: 7pm Hoodoo Gurus Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £15 Times: 7.30pm Sanzen Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Plus GU Medicine and Blackhole

Friday 31/08 Zion Train Venue: Maze Price: £12 Times: 7pm Plus Rebellation, Brio, Mindless Raskals and VFA. Product Venue: Price: Times: Rekleiner

Stealth £15 7.30pm

Black Lips Venue: Social Price: £6 Times: 8pm Richard Bunney Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm

Saturday 01/09 Mickey Lucas Style: House Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Plus live percussion.

Mindvox Presents Style: Deep House Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 Times: 9.30pm Inland Knights, The Littlemen and guests.

The Log Jam Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm Old Baford (Acoustic set) Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm LeftLion Presents Venue: Orange Tree Price: Free Times: 7pm - 12am Swimming and other acts to be confirmed. Stiff Kittens DJs.

Sunday 02/09 Sublogik Venue: Price: Times: Silversun Venue: Price: Times:

Maze 9.30pm - 2am £3 before 10pm / £4 Pickups Rock City £6 8pm

Monday 03/09 Satnam’s Tash Live Venue: Social Price: £1 Times: 9pm Satnam’s Tash, Ordo Ab Chao and Kazooee.

Tuesday 04/09 Acoustic Tuesday Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8pm - 11pm Erasure Venue: Price: Times:

Royal Centre £25 7.30pm

Wednesday 05/09

Saturday 08/09 Danielle Moore Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Plus Ben Davies (Bionics).

Audiophile Style: Deep House Venue: Maze Times: 8pm With special tour guests.

Under The Radar Venue: Stealth Price: £5 Times: 6pm We Smoke Fags.

Psycle Style: Venue: Times:

Trance BluePrint 9pm - late

Tuesday 11/09 Acoustic Tuesdays Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8pm- 11pm Rolo Tomassi Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm

WigFlex Wednesdays Venue: Dogma Price: 99p Times: 10pm - 2am New home at Dogma. SpamChop and friends play beats, breaks, hiphop, house, techno, dubstep and anything in between. Also featuring live breakers, free arcade games and heavy drinks offers.

Battle of the Bands Final Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am

Chris Cornell Venue: Rock City Price: £28 Times: 7.30pm

Headrush Venue: Hard Rock Cafe Price: Free Times: 9pm

Thursday 06/09 Stop Eject Venue: Hard Rock Cafe Price: Free Times: 9pm Satnam’s Venue: Price: Times:

Tash Live Golden Fleece Free 9pm

Wednesday 12/09

Thursday 13/09

After Forever Venue: Rock City Price: £10 Times: 7pm

Friday 14/09 Sublogik Venue: Price: Times:

Maze £3 / £5 9.30pm

Architecture In Helsinki Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £9 Times: 7pm Fear Before The March of Flames Venue: Rock City Price: £8 Times: 7.30pm Eternal Lord Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Plus The Innocent Awaits, A Farewell Fall and Nekrosis.

Friday 07/09 Smokescreen Presents Style: Deep House Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 Times: 9.30pm Expect deep house and dirty grooves, plus the usual suspects behind the decks including Inland Knights and the Littlemen.

The Kissaway Trail Venue: Social Price: £6 Times: 8pm Greg Dorban Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm

Charlie Parr Venue: Social Price: £6 Times: 8pm Berzerker Venue: Rock City Price: £10 Times: 7pm Andy and Venue: Price: Times:

Richard Bunney Bluu Free 8pm

Saturday 15/09 Soulbasics Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Nottingham Punk Club Presents Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 9pm

The Go*Go Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am With King Kahlua and guests.

Nottingham Castle

Summer Outdoor Theatre Programme

Illyria Productions

Heartbreak Theatre Productions

6.00pm, 11-12 August

7.30pm, 24-26 August

Robin Hood Family Show

The Merchant of Venice

Tickets: £11 Adults, £8 Concessions, £30 Family

Tickets: £13 Adults, £9 Children, £11 Senior Citizens, £11 Students

To book tickets call the Royal Centre Box Office: 0115 9895555* *Subject to booking fee. Tickets also available to purchase on the gate at each performance.

debut cd “volume one” summer 2007 - limited edition free copies: nuclear.family@gmail.com

www.myspace.com/nukefam

listings...

Saturday 15/09 Road Block Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am With DJ Daddio.

Hugh Cornwall Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7pm

exhibitions/ theatre / music / weeklies Friday 21/09

J.D Souther Venue: Maze Price: £12 adv Times: 7.30pm

Stika Venue: Price: Times:

Audiophile Venue: Moog Price: Free b4 11 / £2 Times: 7pm - late Vandal (Lot49), Mememe, Fat Chris, Mr Ed and Supine.

Acoustic Tuesdays Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8pm - 11pm

Bellowhead Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £18 Times: 7pm

Your Favourite Enemies Venue: Rock City Price: £6 Times: 7.30pm

Dimmu Borgir Venue: Rock City Price: £16 Times: 7pm

Amp Fiddler Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £12 Times: 7.30pm

The Harrisons Venue: Social Price: £7 Times: 7pm

Rock City £9 7pm

O.S.T.R Venue: Price: Times:

Incubus Venue: Price: Times:

Social £14 6.30pm

Product (Deadset) Venue: Stealth Price: £10 Times: 10pm

Cosmic American presents Venue: Maze Price: £8 adv Times: 7.30pm Rod Picott band.

Shangri-la-Lounge Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £6 Times: 7.30pm

Tuesday 18/09 LeftLion Unplugged Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8pm - 11pm David Blazye and The Reservations.

More tbc.

David Vandervelde Venue: Social Price: £7 Times: 8pm Plus The Moonstation House Band.

Wednesday 19/09 Maze Jam Venue: Price: Times: Fish Venue: Price: Times:

Night Maze Free 8pm Rescue Rooms £18 7.30pm

The Holloways Venue: Rock City Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm Plus the Wombats.

Thursday 20/09 James Last Orchestra Venue: Nottingham Arena Price: £35 Silverjet Venue: Price: Times:

Hard Rock Cafe Free 9pm

The Toy Dolls Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm INME Venue: Price: Times:

Rock City £15 7pm

Friday 21/09

Nottingham Arena £24 7.30pm

Lost Alone Venue: Rock City Price: £5 Times: 7pm Unearthly Venue: Price: Times:

Trance Junktion 7 £5 / £7 9pm - 2am

Kombination Funk Style: DnB Venue: BluePrint Times: 9pm - late

Saturday 22/09 DJ Bean Venue: Price: Times:

Bluu Free 8pm

I’m Not from London presents Venue: Maze Price: £3.50 Times: 8pm Amusement Parks on Fire, O’ Lovely Lie and Pilgrim Fathers.

Mufti Party Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm

Wednesday 26/09 Lara Marling Venue: Maze Price: £8 / £9 Times: 7.30pm Youth Movies Venue: Social Price: £6 Times: 7pm

Thursday 27/09 Rigbee Deep Venue: Maze Price: £2 Times: 8pm - late With Jah Bundy, Minister Hill and Nowhere Common.

Happy Mondays Venue: Rock City Price: £26 Times: 7pm Evile Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Plus Keltic Kihad, Isolysis and Vocis.

Friday 28/09

Captain Dangerous Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm

Richard Earnshaw Style: House Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm

Misfits Venue: Price: Times:

Supernight Venue: Maze Price: £4 / £5 Times: 8pm

Rock City £17 6.30pm

(HED) P.E. Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £12 Times: 7pm

Detonate Venue: Stealth Price: £10 adv Times: 10pm - 4am DnB: Friction, Break, Alix Perez, Spectrasoul and Transit Mafia. MCs SP, Freestyle and Ruthless. Dubstep: Mk1, Virus Syndicate (Live) and Rust.

Frank Turner Venue: The Social Price: £8 Times: 7pm

Supernight presents SJ Esau Venue: Maze Price: £4 Times: 9pm – late

Kill Hannah Venue: Rock City Price: £6 Times: 7pm

Sunday 23/09 Cosmic American presents Venue: Maze Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm Dean Owens band plus support from Jace Everett.

Dave Wareing (Redsoul) Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Farmyard presents Venue: Maze Price: £3 / £4 Times: 9pm Foncheros, Dirty Backbeats, Team Hughes and Auroa Stripe.

Saturday 29/09

The Return of Auntie Pauline Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am

Turisas Venue: Price: Times:

Sunday 16/09

Tuesday 25/09

Feist Venue: Price: Times:

Social £10 8pm

Nearly Dan Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £10 Times: 7.30pm

John Power Venue: Social Price: £8 Times: 7pm

Saturday 29/09 Neon Heights (live) Venue: Bluu Price: Free Times: 8pm Skaville Promotions Present Venue: Maze Price: £5 Times: 8pm Pain, 10 O’Clock Horses, Pretty Vacant and Bite The Curb Ronnie London’s Groove Lounge Style: Sixties Venue: Grosvenor Price: £3 Times: 8pm - 1am

Loggerheads Free 8pm - 1.30am

Weeklies Mondays Open Mic Venue: Price: Times:

Night Approach Free 7pm

Motherfunker Venue: The Cookie Club Price: £1 before 11pm Times: 8.30pm - 12am Open Decks Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm

Tuesdays Acoustic Tuesdays Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 8pm Open Mic Venue: Price: Times:

Night Running Horse Free 8.30pm - 12am

Games Night Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm Crash Venue: Price: Times:

Rock City £3 9.30pm - 2am

The Horseshoe Lounge Style: Country Venue: Deux Price: Free Times: 8pm Cowboy fun! Americana, bluegrass and country.

Local Band Night Venue: Approach Price: Free Times: 7pm

Wednesdays LeftLion Pub Quiz Venue: Golden Fleece Times: 8.30pm Our weekly pub quiz continues, come down and you could win a load of beer or a meal for your team, but more importantly have a laugh!

Urban Intro Venue: Approach Price: Free Times: 7pm Followed by salsa dancing.

Showcase Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm includes live acoustic performances, poetry, visual art, film, television, dance, performing art and comedy.

Electric Banana Venue: Social Price: £1 / £2 / £3 / £4 (NUS) Times: 10.30pm - 3am

Thursdays Club NME Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Indie, Rock, Alternative Stealth £2 - £4 (NUS) 10pm - 2am

Folk Thursday Venue: Loft Price: Free Times: 8pm The Fab 4 Venue: Approach Price: Free Times: 7pm Word of Mouth Style: Hiphop Venue: Muse Price: Less than a pint Live Thursdays Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 8pm Homegrown Venue: Hotel Deux Price: Free Times: 7pm

Fridays Joe Strange Band Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Times: 8pm Acoustic Fridays Venue: Approach Price: Free Times: 5pm - 2am Friday Fever Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm - 1.30am Love Shack Style: Nineties Venue: Rock City Price: £4 / £5 Times: 9.30pm - 2am Muse Live Venue: Muse Price: Varies Times: 8pm

Saturdays The Joe Strange Band Venue: Approach Price: Free Times: 7pm Saturday Night Live Venue: Deux Price: Free Times: 7pm Distortion Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Rock, Alternative Rock City £5 9pm - 2.30am

Sundays We Love Style: Venue: Price: Times:

Acoustic Deux Free 8pm

Sunday Jam Sessions Venue: Loggerheads Price: Free Times: 8pm Melody Market Style: Acoustic, Folk, Alt Venue: Loft Price: Free Just The Tonic Venue: Approach Times: 7pm Notts favourite comedy club.

Moog is Sunday Style: Funk Venue: Moog Times: 12pm - 12am

If you’ve got a brain and would like the opportunity to kill it with alcohol, the LeftLion Pub Quiz at the Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road is where you should be every Wednesday. The fun starts about 9pm, but come earlier, because it gets rammed out dead quick. We give a gallon of beer to the winning team, the quizmaster’s Nana gets on her Bontempi organ for a few tunes and the Fish Man comes round when he feels like it.

Here’s a sample of what we’ve been asking recently…

1. “You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?”

2. “Bitches, leave.”

3. “Your mother can’t be with you anymore.”

4. “Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.”

5. “I am the last barman poet.”

FOOD AND DRINK 6. What condiment is widely known in South America as English Sauce?

7. How many different flavours are there in a packet of Rowntree’s Fruit Gums?

8. Which global food brand began as the Battle Creek Toasted Corn Flake Company?

9. Which chocolate bar is known is known in Ireland as Moro?

10. What was removed from Double Deckers in 1986 due to public demand?

THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 11. No matter how crap they are, four certain countries automatically qualify for Eurovision because they chip the most money in – name two of ‘em…

12. Which major European country hasn’t been in the Eurovision

Song Contest for the past ten years due to a mard-on about hardly ever winning it?

13. Which country have the UK given the most points to in the history of Eurovision?

14. Which Central European country has given the UK the most points in the history of Eurovision?

15. If you add up every point from every Eurovision Song Contest, which country has the most points?

ADVERT SLOGANS 16. You buy one, you get one free, I say you buy one, you get one free 17. Colour like no other 18. Get some nuts 19. This is living 20. Lick the lid of life

ANIMAL MAGIC 21. What animal appears on the Ferrari badge?

22. What animal appears on the French football and rugby badge?

23. What animal appears on the flag of the Falkland Islands?

24. What animal appears on the cover of Pink Floyd’s Animals LP? 25. What animal appears on the poster for The Silence Of The Lambs?

WANKING ON RECORDS 26. Which band had a hit single about masturbating over photographs of Lily Langtry?

27. Which singer’s last hit record finished with the words ‘Please don’t procrastinate, it’s not good to masturbate’?

28. Who did Prince catch masturbating to a magazine in the soundtrack to Purple Rain?

29. Whose debut LP contains a song with the lyric “Now it’s not hard to understand why we just speak at night, The only time I hold your hand is to get the angle right”?

30. In The Commitments, Joey The Lips described what genre as ‘musical wanking’?

ANSWERS: FILM QUOTES 1. The Breakfast Club 2. Robocop 3. Bambi 4.

Die Hard 5. Cocktail FOOD AND DRINK 6. Worcestershire Sauce 7. Five (Strawberry, Orange, Blackcurrant, Lemon and Lime) 8. Kelloggs 9. Star Bar 10. Raisins THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 11. United Kingdom, Germany, France, Spain 12. Italy 13, Ireland 14. Austria. 15.

United Kingdom ADVERT SLOGANS 16. Safestyle 17. Sony Bravia 18. Snickers 19. Playstation 3 20. Muller Yoghurt ANIMAL MAGIC 21. Horse 22. Cockrel 23. Ram 24. Pig 25.

Moth WANKING ON RECORDS 26. The Who 27. Marvin Gaye 28. Darling Nikki 29. Amy Winehouse 30. Jazz

FILM QUOTES

interact with the most established online audience in nottingham, features includE.. * * * * In January ary ‘07 www.LeftLi eftLion.

L oon.co.uk Li

received over ver 500,000 pa ppage ge views making uss the busie busiest s st sie s

entertainments website ebsite s site in the East Midlands! lands!

List your business ness and get iin with us.

Entry from £60.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

35

words: David Blenkey illustration: Alasdair Couch In rooms with no windows, strange things can happen to a man’s mind. It’s the only explanation, surely... In a cavernous cellar bar buried deep in the underbelly of the city with a heavy mix of rain and pressure in the Friday night air, it can warp you beyond recognisable shape or form. That’s what happened to a man before my very eyes. He lost his shape. He knew everybody but was a friend of no-one. The room moved around him as if he were in the eye of a storm. But he couldn’t be. He lacked the calm of a storm’s eye. His disposition was one of rigid turbulence. I’d seen him through the evening hopping between the people in the place and the bar. Never very long with the people. Always a long time at the bar. Trying to pick up drinks and conversations. Not many conversations, not long ones anyway. Plenty of long drinks. When I found myself next to him at the bar, he claimed that he knew me. At first I thought maybe he did, I sort of recognised him, and I’ve met a lot random people in my time. But then I realised that he just had one of those faces. I’d never met him in my life. I’d met some like him though.

‘So, what do you do?’ I asked.

‘I consider myself a modern beat poet,’ came the reply.

‘Oh, what do you write?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Oh.’ At first I thought this might be some conceptual shit he was talking about, maybe he was onto something. A poet that doesn’t write.

‘So, how does your poetry work?’ (I was looking for the big idea here).

‘No, I don’t do any poetry of any kind, but I like the beats. I’ve read some Kerouac and my Dad was a beat poet.’

‘Oh really, what did he write?’

‘Well, just bits really, not much, but he was around at that time and he was into Ginsberg and stuff.’

He was thinking he was a real cool guy, like he thought this shit would impress me.

‘So, was his stuff good? Did he have anything published?’

‘No. But he has all the books. I’ve been reading them. Have you ever read Kerouac?’

‘Bits.’

‘I’ve just read Desecration Angels...’

‘Desolation Angels?’ I interrupted.

‘Yeah, I love the beginning when he’s on top of the mountain but the rest of it is spoilt because all the people ruin it, its better when it’s just Jack on the mountain.’

‘Well, the contrast is kind of the point of the book, fella, but if you want to get into Jacky on his mountain then read The Dharma Bums.’

‘The what? Oh, I don’t know that one.’

‘You’re some poet.’

‘No, I am, I tell you. Because it’s a personal thing to me, because of my dad.’

‘Oh yeah, your dad.’

‘And Kesey, I’m more into him. But I tell you, I hate the hippies for what they did to what the beats created.’ He was getting quite irate now, adamant to assure me of his credentials as a modern beat poet. As if I needed further convincing.

‘I don’t see any reason to hate hippies.’

‘But they took a beautiful thing and politicised it and used it and destroyed it.’ Then he went on about Vietnam.

‘Well I don’t know about that, I’d say there’s a bit more to it than that and there are plenty of worse people to hate, hippies weren’t so bad.’

‘But it’s personal, you don’t understand.’

‘I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand. If you want to

look at the hippies as an extension of the beats then it’s kind of a logical progression but you have to look to the other factors of the era. In the fifties you’ve got the post war sanitised massproduction ethic going on, so the beats were just doing their own thing, rejecting the order of the day, not being self conscious about it, just living life how they wanted to live it, they just so happened to have something to say and knew how they wanted to say it and they were able to get their words out and get heard.

Now, you look at the sixties and the issues of the day. The beats obviously appealed to the liberals and the left, who happened to be hippies, not just hippies, but that’s the angle you’re taking.

Then look at the politics of the day - a fucking outrage, blatantly.

Who speaks out loudest against governmental fuckery? The lefties, so what do you expect. Do you really expect the left not to speak out against a terrible war? I mean, even half the right were against that war. You think the beats weren’t against the war? That’s natural - just the way things go. It just happens that’s how things coalesced with Vietnam and all your other shit and the hippies being the main left of the day so of course they’re going to be on it.’

‘Yeah, but it’s not just Vietnam. The hippies just fucked it up.

They were handed something great and they killed it because they had no focus. They ruined it.’

‘Well if you want to talk about politicising a movement of that era you can’t really ignore Vietnam. I’m not saying I’m defining how it was, I wasn’t there at the time so how could I know?

All I’m saying is there are several other things which come into play which affected the course of events and why things turned out the way they did. But you know, I can only go on what I’ve read and from what I’ve read between the lines, I can’t say with

any certainty. I mean who says the hippies did take on from the beats? I’ve never heard of or read of any beat being a part of the hippy movement or associating with them on the level of the hippy movement. The hippies seem more like their audience than an extension of them in any other form. The beats were a small group of writers and intellectuals, the hippies were an altogether more public movement, and you’re asking for trouble if you don’t have some kind of screening process. The media just lumped the left movements together because it’s easier and convenient to label and associate than truly understand...’

‘But you don’t understand. I know because it’s so personal.’

‘No, I understand you alright, it’s you that doesn’t understand.’

‘No, I understand you clearly, it’s just a thing with me. That’s just how I see it.’

‘You don’t understand me, because if you did, you would be agreeing with me.’

That was much as I could take of the great pretender. I gave him that last line and got the hell out of there leaving him at the bar with his idyllic thoughts of Kerouac on his mountain top with the hippies conspiring to topple the beatniks and ruin them by dragging them into political debate. Something truly unforgivable for him. So personal. I went off to enjoy the rest of the night with the drink and the music and the orgiastic atmosphere of the room with no windows - it was a good, long, late night of fun and feeling.

The great pretender was left to rearrange his shape back to a slightly less recognisable form.

That poet, he doesn’t write. But I do.

LeftLion Abroad Lake Malaren, Sweden. words: Benji

Beautiful forests and giant lakes dominate Sweden’s landscape. Covering an area of 1140kmsq, Lake Malaren is the country’s third largest lake, lying just to the west of Stockholm and meeting the Baltic sea in the heart of the capital. This huge expanse of water is home to Birka, the country’s oldest city (located on an island situated on Malaren), an underwater hotel designed by artist Michael Gensburg, and has seventeenth and eighteenth century palaces surrounding its shores.

Holidays and water are two things taken very seriously by the Swedes (with one in five owning a boat). Taking place on the summer solstice, midsummer festivities rival Christmas on the Swedish calendar, when the cities become deserted as they take to their summer houses to celebrate. The country’s northern latitude means that it never really gets dark from late May to late July whilst in the north the sun never sets, resulting in the famous midnight sun.

The photo was taken over Lake Malaren in mid June when the colours of the sunset run throughout the night. Over still water the result is a mirror image reflection of the sky, transforming the average jetty into a place you never want to leave.

36

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

If you would like your work published on this page, visit the creative writing forum at www.leftlion.co.uk/forum and start posting. Each issue we select the best submissions for the magazine.

The Jagged Edge

From Red To Blue

The Lollipop Lady

Mr Angel

Edge?

A weird place to be.

Caving in All of everything around you.

Coping?

Trying to at least.

Everything on top, pushing in, stifling, claustrophobic, manic.

A feeling of running away in your head.

Your head and mind running faster Faster Than you can keep up with.

A dizziness; light headedness.

A white cupboard, A phone box.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, rinnggg, The voice of a loved one Reality is still there Somewhere.

White plastic, blue label, screw top - jagged Safety.

Shake it; echoes of a rattle.

Break it Find the pleasure.

The comfort in the rattle The cushion Of the hardness Of what noise can turn into.

Softness, floating Going, going, Gone.

Did Your Premonition lie about your golden God? I’ve seen you search the sky collecting all that you’ve got, I don’t remember when, I don’t even remember why, But your heart had changed red to blue when nobody could see you cry,

She can’t see me as I hide in the bush

I hope I hope I hope Warm melty skin thing Slip sliding tingley Intuitive soft Electric hue Easy Love Happen Hand Holding Acceptant understanding Energy togetherness Presence In my heart holding Knowing

Come see me tomorrow, I got no time to spare, Come see me tomorrow child, My mind’s elsewhere.

And so you’d wait till tomorrow, But what if it never came?

It’s hard to wait till tomorrow lord when no-one knows your name.

Was it all too hard to take?

A struggle through and through, And no-one even noticed when from their nest, Their little first born angel flew, I bet you’re happy where you are, peace of mind at listening ear, So sit back kid, relax and enjoy, I’ll hold the memories of you so dear.

Dirty Lyle

Sara

A Song for Europe Shrink Rap If I drew crowds half as good as I draw blood I’d’ve bought enough pencils to cover my flaws up I store thoughts wall to wall through my brain so even my mundane brainwaves suffocate hurricanes Some live, die and nothing’s changed but their age others struggle and suffer strain to facilitate another’s gain I dug a grave to crush my pain’s emotional baggage and exploded the package once a note of condolence was added Have you ever soaked in the magic of past times only to notice you’re broken openly straddling land mines?

My hand tied happiness was a gravelly tank ride while others felt as intense as agoraphobics at campsites Faults shine like lamplight in the dark of my Jurassic Park so I’m having daydreams in camouflage of sabotaging abattoirs As a world tarnished with cold-hearted narcissists Brands anarchists negative while requesting sedatives from pharmacists Mahatma

Jesus Christ my eyes are burning!

Staring at this Slovenian gurning What the hell is going on?

This isn’t music! That’s no song!

Whacky pricks who prance about, “Nil points, nil points” I crave to shout This thing’s been running for many years Decades of music to bring you to tears Is this a reflection of music today?

I pray for the answer “No fucking way!”

Do they represent their country? Do they shite!

Do they have talent? Errrrr……. not quite!

Who actually gets them where they are today?

Who tells these perverts what music to play?

At what point do they say that they are the best, With a good chance of winning this lyrical mess?

Who can support such audio waste?

Fuckers like them with not one ounce of taste.

All these losers with a strange need to win A talent less contest of musical sin Dressed to the nines in their polyester mix Perma-tanned fools and greasy haired dicks Doomed to obscurity as soon as it’s done And all we can say is “thank fuck for Wogan!”

Jack Twatt

I watch her, fair but firm as she masquerades children over the road she doesn’t know, but as I watch I grow hard I touch myself as I watch her faint moustache moving on her face A spray of spittle comes out of her mouth when she talks Her teeth are like sweetcorn kernels from a Green Giant Can. But I can’t help it, I love her.

She may look like a man, even though she’s a woman, but I want her with all my heart, like I’ve never wanted anything before in my life. ever.

She can lick my ice cream and I will lick her Lollipop.

Tom Charles Mitchell

Dog Days There would be long nights Of double dropping tablets, Then spewing through all The light of the city Illuminated,

And if...

I will be terribly disappointed And/or...

Oh well I am strong now I will survive you If I need to I have myself I have myself I always have myself and I am loved and others will come as they do as they do...

(But I hope I don’t need them to).

Wendy House

Wide eyed militants Sipping stalked tea, We made our own Universe in those nights Of isolation, amongst Those grey worn, Woollen carpets,

The Youth of Today You may say that the youth of today, Are delinquents, criminals having no respect, But maybe you should see it our way.

We’d be dog tired So all stuck their heads From moving windows, Faces drawn and mutilated.

Screaming joy into the street,

We awake at mid day with a face full of sarcasm; ‘Oh good afternoon’ and ‘You’ve finally come out of your pit’ From our parents over a newspaper, as they fumble the table for their morning drink.

Sleeping so happy naked Content, wrapped up on a Bathroom floor, And now that tee total Days begin to linger With a thick sent Of sadness, and of loss I miss them even more.

But while they sit there and watch us stumble around half asleep, I begin to wonder what they have done with their week, As yes, they deserve a break from work, but maybe, just maybe, we deserve one too.

A.Catterall

Shivers; clones of a singular goosebump You’re appealing because this is what your unconfessed love does It freezes a moment And stores it for later.

Its not forced But it’s a force of our nature A mutual gravity that defies physics A single shiver that the whole body Quickly mimics My tongue slips The word rolls of the tip I say ‘love’ I meant to say ‘like’ I feel love in truth inside I do I do I love you I love you to bits I have a single shiver that my whole body quickly mimics

If you could only see the day to day tortures we face; What to eat, when to go out, when to get up, As endless as the decisions we make.

Our life is a whirl pool of turmoil, Regret, guilt and ‘illness’ that begins the minute we wake, To a finger waggle accompanied with ‘Do the dishes,’ and ‘Clean your room.’

We try to compromise with the alien generation, Like when to see each other and what time to go home, But being the youth of today, it’s always a minute too early or too late.

But we’re not so bad you see, if you could take a minute to look, We’re particularly good at the art of coping with pressure, Especially when the elderly of today, Never see it our way.

Woopdecker

Luke Hicks

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

37

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

Libra (September 24 - October 23)

If you have an ant infestation problem then planting catnip around your house foundations will keep them from entering your home anywhere that the catnip grows. On the minus side you will have the entire neighbourhood collection of moggies going crazy dancing like nutcases with the horn outside.

Do thy work in the peace of Yoga and, free from selfish desires, be not moved in success or in failure. Yoga is an evenness of mind, a peace that is ever the same. Yoghurt meanwhile is a prepared food with the consistency of custard, made from milk curdled by the action of cultures, sometimes sweetened or flavoured.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)

If you have problems with birds on your window sills, you can get control over the situation with out hurting the birds… unless you really want to. Just sprinkle pepper over the window sills on the outside and they will leave your home alone. Or develop serious sneezing problems. If they can sneeze through a beak that is…

When one door of happiness closes another opens. Often we can dwell for so long on the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. It’s all there ready for you to step inside and start opening up new drawers and cupboards inside. Just try not to forget your keys…

Gemini (May 22 - June 22)

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22)

Everyone is equally ignorant, only on different subjects. One man knows a lot about football, the next a lot about architecture. But if they both combined their knowledge they could organise and excellent indoor game of wally. Collaboration is the key to indoor sports. Mind that vase…

Fortunately and unfortunately the words ‘I love you’ don’t necessarily equate with ‘I want to get heavy in the bedroom with you’. In the case of kissing your parents or grandparents goodnight this is a good thing. But it does seem a shame that a person you’ve dug since you were both kids never seems to want to get sticky with you. So it goes…

Cancer (June 23 - July 23)

Capricorn (December 23 - January 19)

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll still get run over if you just sit there. The world never stops moving and if you park yourself down then prepare to get overtaken and be trampled on. If you try to move forward you may falter, but if you don’t try you’re guaranteed to fail.

You say it’s all pointless, but what’s the point in saying that? Your pseudo-depressed melancholy ratings sound like they’re being read from the inlay of a Smashing Pumpkins album sleeve. Billy Corgan is not exactly the poet laureate you think he is. Despite all your rage you are still just a rat in a cage indeed.

Leo (July 24 - August 23) The greatest personal limitation is to be found not in the things you want to do and can’t, but in the things you’ve never considered doing. So it’s time to try something totally different to the norm. That crossover class of kickboxing and ballroom dancing may be the thing for you. Just pick a partner that doesn’t bruise easily.

Virgo (August 24 - September 23) To a shaman your imagination is a vehicle that transmits thoughts and feelings which enable you to make real changes in the physical world. To the boss of a corporation your imagination is a lock to the soul that they want to break so they can get inside and steal it. Principles are your condoms.

Don’t let them infect you.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 19) When I’m feeling tired, she pushed food through the door and I crawl towards the crack of light.

Sometimes I can’t find my way. Newspapers spread around soaking all that they can, a cleaning is due again, a good hosing down. The lady whom I feel maternal love for cannot look me in the eyes.

But I see hers and they are blue.

Pisces (February 20 - March 20) Hey Chico. Remember what I told you last Wednesday? You can get one over on some of the people all of the time. But you can only get one over on all of the people some of the time. Choose your targets carefully or you may have to confront an angry mob with only a pencil and a sheet of paper for protection. Mahola!

Local Literary Luvvies!

LORD BYRON

DH LAWRENCE

Full name: David Herber

Full name: Lord George

t Richards Lawrence

Ag

ative e greatest imagin Described as: “Th tion.” (EM Forster) novelist of our genera e and Wise - Play wot Erni Inspired: Morecambe

38

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue18

(1788-1824)

Described as: “Mad, bad , and dangerous to know.” (Lady Car oline Lamb)

8)

y Chatterley’s Lover (192

Best known work: Lad

Gordon Byron

Age at death: 36 years

85-1930) e at death: 44 years (18

wrote

Best known work: Don Inspired: Cradle of Filt

Juan (1819)

h - The Byronic Man

Free Festival

Saturday 22 September 2007 at Nottingham Castle from 10:00am DJ's / Environmental Art / Drumming / Street Performers / Circus Artists Market / Creative Workshops / Healing Zone / Music Everywhere plus Europe’s largest inflatable sculpture by Architects of Air and everything you want to know about transport in Nottingham

For more information see www.thebigwheel.org.uk

Check this:

s e v kn no more

wat ya sayin

www.nomoreknives.com