LeftLion Magazine - October 2008 - Issue 25

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#25

Parental Guidance: Bad Words Inside

Oct - Nov 2008

Des Coleman / Late Of The Pier / Chuck Palahniuk / The Playhouse Nottingham’s Most Comprehensive Event Listings


Strength of Feeling Sokari Douglas-Camp & Red Anthony Jadunath 10th Nov—18th Jan 2009

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Exhibition Launch Event Mon 10th November 6pm—11pm In conversation with 6pm—7pm The award winning artist behind Strength of Feeling, Sokari Douglas-Camp, is in conversation at New Art Exchange about her work and its cultural and political context with curators and fellow artists David A Bailey, Ben Amunwa and James Marriott. Exhibition opening: Sokari Douglas-Camp & Anthony Jadunath 7pm—8.30pm Join us at the opening of this highly charged exhibition by two important and potent forces in the contemporary art world. Black Drop extra 8.30pm—11pm Black Drop is one of Nottingham’s most successful monthly open mic events. To mark the opening of this significant exhibition at New Art Exchange, Black Drop founders and regular artists bring their unique spoken word skills to the performance space. Focusing on the anniversary of Ken Saro-Wiwa’s death and Nigerian politics. Artists Include: _Saraa Rain _Sure Shot _Michelle Hubbard _Curtis Watt _Open Mic All Welcome — Admission Free

39-41 Gregory Boulevard Nottingham NG7 6BE www.thenewartexchange.org.uk 0115 924 8630 Registered Charity No. 1121755 Image credit: Bin Laden Pieta/Sokari Douglas-Camp/Mixed Media


illustration: Ash D

contents

editorial

LeftLion Magazine Issue 25 October-November 2008

Youths and Ducks,

JIMMY SIRREL: 1922-2008 As we went to press, LeftLion was saddened to learn of the passing of Jimmy Sirrel. As manager of Notts County at intermittent periods between 1969 and 1987, he joined a club languishing in the fourth division, and left it in the top flight of English football - whilst forging a bond with the ‘Pies and their supporters that was every bit as important as Brian Clough’s with Forest. This issue is dedicated to him. pic: The editor, receiving his Notts County/Football Post Soccer Skills Award (Silver) from the man himself, 1980.

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May Contain Notts The news diary that ate Nottingham.

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LeftEyeOn Choice cuts from our first five years.

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Students Who Stayed …and not because they couldn’t afford the coach home, either.

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A Canadian In New Basford Our Rob’s alternative Freshers’ week. Chuck Palahniuk We call the Fight Club author out into the car park for some verbal fisticuffs. Late Of The Pier The new Kings of the Castle (Donington).

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Notts For The Faint-Hearted The really scary bits of town revealed.

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I’m A Hustler, Baby! The return of Hockley Hustle.

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LeftLion Listings Your complete guide to the magical fairyland that is Nottingham nightlife.

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You’ll Never Beat Des Coleman The meteorological Don of local telly talks exclusively to the ‘Lion.

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There’s Always Next Season Nottingham Playhouse: more to it than a big mirror, y’know.

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Pixel Perfect The high-definition world of Vent Media.

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Reviews We listen to shiny circular things, and decide whether to use them as coasters or not.

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Artists Profiles Kay van Bellen, Georgina Bell, Geoff Diego Litherland and Glyn Brewerton.

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LeftLion Abroad Plus Rocky Horrorscopes, The Arthole, and Notts Trumps.

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This Is Notts Your complete guide to the city, the accent, the people, and the kebab shops.

Lion 44 Write Come and have a go if you think you’re Bard enough.

Sound Bloke Mike Cheque

Editor in Chief Jared Wilson (jared@leftlion.co.uk)

Contributors Frances Ashton Rob Cutforth Hugh Dichmont Alison Emm Colin the Geek Kristi Genovese Georgios Haberis Roger Mean Glen Parva Dan Skurok Nik Storey

“Aye, this fancy dan stuff, jigging and jagging, it’s no good at all if you can’t breen the ball in. You should be making love to it. But no backscuttling, eh? Eh? Eh?” Jimmy Sirrel

Art Director David Blenkey (reason@leftlion.co.uk) Art Editor Amanda Young (amanda@leftlion.co.uk) Theatre Editor Adrian Bhagat (adrian@leftlion.co.uk) Literature Editor James Walker (books@leftlion.co.uk) Music Editor Natasha Chowdhury (natasha@leftlion.co.uk) Paul Klotschkow (paulk@leftlion.co.uk) Listings Editor Tim Bates (timmy@leftlion.co.uk)

If, on the other hand, you’ve just arrived here and you actually want your next three years to be something more than a hermetically-sealed varsity sausage-machine, turning the pages of this mag is the second genius decision you’ve made this year. Let’s not fanny about - Nottingham is unquestionably the greatest city on this manky island, and (if you play your cards right, keep an open mind, step out of your varsity bubble and put yourself about a bit) you’re going to have a supremely outstanding doss here. And, if you let us, we’re going to help you. As an allencompassing, totally free and independent-like-wanno media Gorgon that has racked up five years of covering Nottingham like a bastard while other mags have curled up into a ball (while their girlfriends have screamed at us and our mates said “Leave it, LeftLion, he’s had enough”), we’re your in-route to the very heart of Notts culture. Over the next three years, we’ll run into each other at the many kick-arse pubs in town and we’ll introduce you to people worth knowing about, hip you to some of the finest bands in our rapidly burgeoning music scene, and show you the places only the locals know about. Sure, there’s bound to be an awkward moment when we go a bit too far and you end up staring at a local free newspaper in your room at 6am as it awkwardly pulls its pants up and creeps out, but we’ll grow from that and be mates again.

Al Needham nishlord@leftlion.co.uk

Photography Editor Dominic Henry (dom@leftlion.co.uk)

Marketing and Sales Manager Ben Hacking (ben@leftlion.co.uk)

So, you finally made it to Vibrant, Eclectic Nottingham, huh guys? That’s totally wicked bad fresh. Looking forward to all those MEGA-HOT DISCOS on campus, and going every week to those KERR-AZY designated student nights at Oceana? Well, if you are, put this mag down and leave it for someone who’s not a blinkered, yitneyfied little get who thinks he’s summat because he’s the only person from his village with a chip-pan haircut, and is only interested in talking to the locals when he want’s some drugs. It’s really not for you, duck.

Word to your Nana,

Editor Al Needham (nishlord@leftlion.co.uk)

Technical Director Alan Gilby (alan@leftlion.co.uk)

HEY STUDENTS!!! BRAP!!!

Anyway, I’m shutting me pan now. Enjoy the mag, because it’s as skill as Nottingham is.

credits Deputy Editor Nathan Miller (njm@leftlion.co.uk) Charlotte Kingsbury (charlotte@leftlion.co.uk)

Fret not. Just because it’s the student issue, it doesn’t mean we’re ignoring you. All the stuff you like is in the usual place. Knock yoursen aht and enjoy the mag. Now if you’ll excuse me…*cough*…

Photographers David Baird Jon Rouston Al Greer Cover Artist Craig Humpston Illustrators Edward Bowness Alexandra Campbell Nick Chaffe Ash D Alex Godwin Gemma Latimer Michael Lomon Rob White

Correspondence Address LeftLion, care of Stone Soup, The Oldknows Factory, St Anns Hill Road, NG3 4GP If you would like to reach our readers by advertising your company in these pages please contact Ben on 07984 275453 or email ben@leftlion.co.uk LeftLion has an estimated readership of 40,000 in the city of Nottingham. LeftLion.co.uk received over 4 million page views in the last 12 months. LeftLion is distributed to over 300 venues across Nottingham. If your venue isn’t one of them, please contact Ben on 07984 275453 or email him on ben@leftlion.co.uk This magazine is printed on paper sourced from sustainable forests. Our printers are ISO 14001 certified by the British Accreditation Bureau for their environmental management system.

Tim Bates

LeftLion pioneer Timmy is one of the founder members of LeftLion, and although has now taken a back seat to go back to uni (slacker!) still finds himself surrounded by the goings on of the ‘Lion. Aside from spending a 95 staring at buildings, he is part of Vinyl [Abort] causing DnB remix mash-up mayhem wherever he can hustle a stage, and falling off a windsurf board wherever he can find a lake.

Rob Cutforth

Columnist/Resident CanAlien

When Rob isn’t wrestling polar bears and clubbing baby seals, he’s busy writing the Canadian In New Basford column. Before he moved across the Pond, he knew three things about England; Bad food, bad teeth and bad weather. He’s since learned that those three things are only slightly true. When he’s not blogging or trying to point out that, no, he’s not American, actually, he’s writing for a number of other publications, including Suburb and thelondonpaper. www.canuckistani.com www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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with Nottingham’s ‘Mr Sex’, Al Needham

Cern’s Hadron Collider The world’s largest, most powerful machine was fired up on September 10 to warm up for a series of experiments where they will try to recreate the Big Bang. Some say it could threaten the earth’s very existence... This happens the day before the Stevie Wonder concert at the O2, which I’ve been waiting the best part of thirty years to go to. If it goes wrong, I’m kicking right off. Seriously, you don’t want to see me that day. Beane Seeing Stevie sounds ideal... I’ll be stroking my sister’s new kitties on that day though. Off work and with family at least! N’Daley Sis If it did all go tits up I’d just get in a fridge like Indiana Jones with a joint, my missus and my cat and wait for it all to calm down. Shifter I think I’d want to be stopping the experiment. Laird of Kincavel The girls at work have suggested that a large Hardon Collider would have been far more interesting! Andybags One of the professors running it is the ex-keyboard player of D:Ream! Jared Well, things can only get better with him working on the project. Zelig U R The Best Thing to happen to particle physics. myhouseyourhouse

Weirdest Animal ever eaten Sea urchins with spaghetti and clams. They were quite nice - they are the little fleshy bits inside the spiky shell and they have the same consistency as roe and taste oceany but not fishy. Seamus Flannery

Barn Owl. Tastes a bit like a Tawny Owl but with a slightly less gamey flavour. Ash D When I was in China I ate camel, horse, frog and snails, but the weirdest thing was snake, mainly because I thought it was eel so I ate it raw. I realised and cooked it and it tasted fantastic. Samyouwell I’ve eaten a lot of raw horsemeat Kayonebee I can’t condone killing for the sake of killing, simple as that; it’s not like we are a starving nation. 44ton Killing an animal and then eating it is not killing for the sake of killing. The eating bit gives it away. myhouseyourhouse Does beaver count? Cheque

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MAY CONTAIN NOTTS Aug-Sept 2008

August 3 A Cotgrave meathead gets jailed for racially harassing the owner of Shalimar Takeaway (you can’t miss it: it’s in between Five Star Key Cutters and Kid Creole’s Halal Butchers) and making the owner deliver free pizzas. For three years. I can’t get the image out of my mind of Jeffrey Daniel and Jody Whatley depositing all manner of bodily fluids on a deep-pan. And now, neither can you.

September 10 Six Forest-supporting knuckle-draggers get banned from football matches after trashing a pub in Derby - which, seeing as Forest were actually playing in Port Vale at the time and they stopped off for a fag-and-violence break on the way, is a bit much. And seeing as Forest are bottom of the Championship at the moment, shouldn’t they be made to watch?

August 6 Figures released by the Tories claim that Nottingham’s hospitals are the chattiest in the country, with the highest rates of vermin in wards, clinics, operating theatres and especially in A&E on Saturday nights.

September 15 A Sherwood girl makes it to the finals of Miss Black Britain, sparking off the biggest debate in the Evening Post’s lamentable website forum since ‘Eeh, they only wear turbans so they can ride motorbikes without helmets’, ‘They come over here, and take our jobs’ and ‘They serve cats in their restaurants, you know’.

August 8 Jonas Armstrong quits the role of Robin Hood in the TV series. Good. His accent was rammell. August 12 Mansfield’s heroine addiction is sated by Rebecca Adlington winning her first gold medal, meaning that - at the time - Mansfield stands above Russia in the Olympic medal table. August 13 The council announce that they’re getting a couple of new Jaguars in for the Lord Mayor and Sheriff of Nottingham. Why not get them some real ones? If your Lord Mayor was going to open a garden fete and he was bringing a big proper jungle cat (hopefully slipping it off the leash every now and then to set it on local disaffected youths), you’d go, wouldn’t you? August 16 Rebecca Adlington wins her second gold medal. She could now walk about with the chunkiest, most valuable earrings ever seen in Notts, if she felt like it. August 19 Viccy Baths loses its bid for heritage status when English Heritage. I went to a wrestling match there when I was a kid and was told to ‘fuck off’ by Giant Haystacks. If that’s not ‘heritage’, I don’t know what is. August 20 DG cars become the first taxi firm in the country to install CCTV cameras in all its cars. If there is a God up there, that means we could be having the Taxi Channel on satellite as early as 2009, with programmes such as Slagwatch, I’ve Just Chinned A Bouncer, Get Me Out Of Here, and Ooer, I Though I Had A Tenner. Leg It! August 22 Nottingham, getting extremely jealous of Mansfield, claims a gold medal for itself when Tim Brabant wins the 1000m kayak gold. So what if he’s from Walton-on-Thames? And come to think of it, all those canoeing medals should belong to us. I bet all those people who won cycling medals had a Grifter at some point in their lives. And Usain Bolt pretends to be Robin Hood. Yeah, we won the Olympics, actually. August 27 Rebecca Adlington returns to a heroes welcome in Mansfield . The locals parade her round the town, wave flags about, and then dob the medals into Ca$h Converters when she’s not looking.

September 12 Mansfield wins another Olympic swimming gold, as Sam Hynd wins the 400m freestyle in the Paralympics - proving my theory that people from Mansfield, aware that global warming will submerge most of the UK under water, are mutating into human fish and will eventually enslave us under an iron fin. For God’s sake, Nottingham - put this paper down and have sex with as many dolphins as you possibly can. Now. September 18 A 92-year-old from Newark breaks his own record for the world’s longest cucumber at a whopping 36.1 inches, which sparks a bidding war between seven porn companies. September 19 Local boxing legend Dave Needham dies in Thailand from liver problems. I used to pretend he was my brother at junior school to avoid getting bullied. (I also had another imaginary brother called Andy, who was a soldier who was so rock that he was the only white man to be allowed to join the Gurkhas). September 20 A local businessman claims that he stopped paying the mortgage on Clifton Hall (a mansion that was worth £3.6 million when I wrote this piece, but is probably going for £1.7 by the time you read it) because it was haunted by ghosts that screamed like buggery. If my landlord’s reading this; soz that I’ve not come up with the rent yet, but there’s an absolutely massive spider in the bathroom. It’s like a bleddy potato with legs. September 22 Student murdered above pub. German suspect. Links to abusive behaviour on internet forum. I’d like to apologise right now to everyone I called a ‘dog’s ringpiece’ on the LeftLion forum. September 23 A jeweller in Derby Road takes out an advert in the paper offering to buy gold teeth, which will probably kick off a spate of beheadings amongst local drug dealers over the next few months. Fortunately, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. September 25 Nottingham wins the annual Britain in Bloom competition, being named Champion of Champions thanks to its year-round commitment, composting scheme, and entrepreneurial gardeners who rig up hydroponic systems in their own flats and garages.

September 5 The Lenton Swimming Pool reopens after it was bought off the council for a tenner. I’m still waiting to hear from them about my offer to take the Council House off their hands for a fiver, so I can make it into a real one with stonecladding, a massive satellite dish hanging off the side and some proper double glazing.

September 27 Nottingham Trent University announce plans to assemble a videogames museum, full of ancient cabinets and old Space Invaders. They haven’t realised that there’s already something like that nearby - it’s called ‘Skegness’.

September 8 A mentalist 73-year-old racist from Wollaton gets six months in the nick for chucking a lump of concrete at a neighbour, after getting an ASBO banning him from being a nob to anyone within half a kilometre of his house. A terrible indictment of the way society treats our elderly racists - give ‘em a mini-bus service, or summat.

September 28 The zombified corpse of Naddinhayum hauls itself up from the grave when Russell Crowe announces that he’ll be playing both Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham. Jesus Christ, Russ, why stop there? Why not have a go at playing 20,000 piss-stinking peasants and Maid Marian an’all?

September 11 A man in Bestwood barricades himself into his house, kicking a police siege and getting the local junior school shut down for the day. He was later seen being carried around the estate by jubilant nine-year-olds.

Nottingham’s ‘Mr Sex’ won Sex Blog of the Year at the Erotic Awards for the honour of the city, and now has a big golden nob with wings on his telly. Check his sexeh, sexeh stylings at www.todgertalk.com.


LeftEyeOn

This month we take a look back at some choice pics from previous editions...

Captions - left right from the top From top lefttoto bottom right: Robs Records - ‘Notts Vinyl Sheriff’ Issue 11... (Dom Henry)

Rob Smith, reigning vinyl overlord of Nottingham, Rob’s June 2006 Andrew Shim and VickyRecords, McClure (from this is england) Issue 16 (Jon Rouston) (Dom Henry) Jump Britain - Issue 3... (David Bowen)

Andrew Shim and Vicky McClure from Whycliffe is on da street IssueSalutation 2... (David Bowen) This Is England, the -Old Inn, April 2007 Paul Smith at the Broadway - Issue 15. (Dom Henry) (Jon Rouston) Sticky, Parkour exponent extraordinaire, the Waterfront, February 2005 (David Bowen) The inimitable Whycliffe, the Forest Rec, December 2004 (David Bowen) Paul Smith, on his own seats, checking our style, Broadway January 2007 (Dom Henry)

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3TUDENTS žTHEYžCOMEžHERE žCLOGžUPž OURžPUBS žTAKEžUPžOURžLIVINGžSPACE ž NICKžOURžPART TIMEžJOBS Apparently, Nottingham has the highest level of student retention in the UK - our students are more likely to stay here after they graduate than anywhere else. Lazy-arsed wasters trying to cling onto their halcyon days of cheap booze, or indisputable proof that Nottingham is ace? We spoke to three people who decided to stick around after their course‌ words: Charlotte Kingsbury & Alison Emm photos: David Blenkey & Dom Henry

ÂĄ.OTTINGHAMžREALLYžINSPIRESžMYžWORK¢ Susi Henson parlayed a Fashion Design course at Trent into Eternal Spirits, the award-winning luxe boudoir-wear enterprise patronised by the Sugababes, Dita Von Teese and the Scissor Sisters... I was born and bred in Woodthorpe, between Sherwood and Arnold. I was always an average student, never very bright or academic, but I got two Bs and two Ds at A level. I wanted to do Fashion Design, but my college careers team and course tutors told me - incorrectly as it turned out - that Nottingham Trent wouldn’t take me with the results I had and because I was from Nottingham, so instead I applied to Huddersfield University. I was so miserable there, so I reapplied to NTU’s BA Fashion Design course the following year, and they said ‘why didn’t you apply here first?’ The course was fantastic, as you’d expect; it’s internationally renowned, and ensures you come out with practical as well as theoretical skills. I practically lived in Rock City at that time and was well into my leather and rock stuff, so I taught myself to make corsets using traditional methods. I thought ‘I’m gonna dress rock stars for a living!’ I graduated with first class honours in 2000 and then got a job at a corporate wear company in Derby, which really showed me I didn’t want to work for anyone else. Luckily my NTU tutors invited me to show some of my undergraduate work in Japan and then suggested I do the MA in Fashion and Textiles. Whilst doing that I was asked to teach on the undergraduate course, which I managed to fit in with my plan to start my own business. I knew I could move back to my parents if I needed to, and I thought ‘now or never’. I got a lot of support from a business incubation unit called the Designer Forum, near the Fashion Centre. This helped me develop the business skills I needed but wasn’t sure I naturally possessed. I’m pretty good at it now though after seven years. I just want

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to make people look pretty for a living! But I have the responsibility of employees now, and they’re all lovely so I never want to let them down. Nottingham really inspires my work, particularly the history of the lace industry and the amazing architecture. Everything at Eternal Spirits is made in Nottingham, and as much of the materials as possible are sourced locally. I absolutely love it here: although I spend a fair amount of time in London and abroad, I wouldn’t live anywhere else. It’s an incredibly supportive city. People always say ‘you’ll never make it unless you move to London’. Well, the brand might have been more successful but Eternal Spirits is what it is because of the people who work with the business. I wouldn’t have got this far without all the support from family, friends and local people, and I can’t quantify how valuable that is. So many people give a massive amount of time, energy and love because they believe in us, which you might not get in a larger, more faceless city. The creative industries here have so much collaboration and are very close-knit, which makes for a really inspiring environment. People stay here for that. I really can’t think of any downsides to studying in Nottingham. The bad reputation is so unfair! Students only need to be careful and sensible, like they would anywhere. One thing I’d say is to party hard but also work hard. With all the debt that comes with being a student, you don’t want to come out with nothing other than a three-year hangover. Thinking ‘I’ll work hard in my third year’ doesn’t cut it, particularly in my industry. 90,000 fashion students graduate in this country every year, and there ain’t 90,000 fashion jobs. www.eternalspirits.com

ÂĄ7EžALLžJUSTž GRAVITATEDžHERE¢ Michael Wetherburn is a freelance musician, composer and piano, guitar and music software teacher, as well as the frontman of the bleddy brilliant Hellset Orchestra‌ I came in 2000 from a little town in County Durham to do BA Contemporary Arts at Nottingham Trent, because I wanted to move away from the North East; everything is so disparate and far-flung. I’d always been in covers bands when I was a kid, and I wanted to play and write in a city where bands didn’t just do Oasis covers. I had a really bad first few weeks in Nottingham. I didn’t get into halls so had to get a house, which turned out to be a real mission. The first place I viewed, the room on offer was a bathroom that was due to be converted. At the next place the landlord didn’t turn up. At the last place, where I ended up, the two male housemates moved out in the first few weeks because they missed their girlfriends, and I was left with one female housemate who disclosed that she thought Northern men were only good for the army! However I soon made some friends, mostly through going to places other than the cheesy ones on the Freshers guide. Because most of the people on my course were ‘performancey’ types, I was able to start a band almost straight away, and we got playing on the local circuit. However, I still got my work done -when you’re paying all that money, you have to. You’ve got to be prepared to have some moments when you can’t party. I never considered going home after my course ended. By then I knew loads of people and had band stuff going on. None of the Hellset are from Nottingham originally - we all just gravitated here. It’s a really good place for music, as the city centre is so compact that it’s big enough to be a


Advice For New Students Get proper security. Nottingham’s no worse than any city, but keep your house locked down when you’re not in it. Make sure rented properties have proper locks, doors and internal locking doors. Decent insurance is a must - student areas are well catered for by burglars. Dom Don’t just go to student nights. You’ll end up having spent three years here and know nothing about why Nottingham is so ace. Try nights put on by Damn You!, LeftLion, Hello Thor, I’m Not From London, and Mantile, to name but a few. Try to make friends with someone who’s not a student. christmasatthezoo Get yourself a bar job as soon as you get here - You’ll earn some spare cash, free drinks, meet virtually everyone worth knowing in town and have an awesome time. Shifter

¡4HERE S¾MORE¾TO¾.OTTINGHAM¾ THAN¾CHAIN¾SHOPS¾AND¾PUBS¢¾ Eva Giraud came to the University of Nottingham to do an MA in 2007, and decided to stay here to write her PhD … Whilst studying in Edinburgh I had become a vegan, and then during the G8 Summit there I met someone with similar interests who introduced me to the activism community. I planned to apply to University College London for post-grad studies but began to consider Nottingham after meeting someone there who was surprised at how few vegans I knew. He said he knew loads of vegans and really bigged up Nottingham, saying how fantastic it was. I discovered the right course, checked out the city on the internet and came down to visit. I discovered a really creative feel to the city. I went to poetry nights at The Alley Café, which were completely different to what I’d experienced in Edinburgh - there was a more mixed group of people and cultures and it lacked the pretensions of some poetry evenings I’d been to before. I was excited when I came down for the open day because of this visit, but as I was sat on the bus on the way to the University, I was really tearful. It was raining and it felt really grey and industrial. But when I got there, everyone was really friendly. It made me feel a lot better; everyone was so cool and I realised that I could definitely live here. Once I was here, I didn’t go clubbing as much as I had as an undergraduate; the course was a lot more demanding. However, I went to a couple of demonstrations in the city and started going to the Sumac Centre in Forest Fields. It’s a community and campaigns resource centre with a vegan bar and kitchen. Lots of groups meet there, and it has a real community atmosphere. It got me involved in trying to dispel the negative image that activists have in the media and I’ve based my PhD around the causes I’m interested in.

city but small enough to be a town, and you always bump into the same people and end up working together or at least supporting each other’s projects. After graduating, I got a music technician job at a local school, then I did the Graduate Teacher Programme to become a music teacher, accredited through Trent but based at the school. After completing that and another teaching qualification I actually ended up as Head of Music and Music Technology at the school, helping to improve the GCSE Music pass rate immensely, which

There were various reasons why I decided to stay in Nottingham. It was hard to find funding for my PhD and it’s a big commitment, so I spent a lot of time clarifying what I wanted to do. The expertise at the University was really good; I felt really encouraged by the course tutors and the fact that the course available was more contemporary than at any other University in the country. I’m also in a serious relationship here. I do miss my friends in Edinburgh and Norwich but I’ve met a lot of really nice people. I was lucky: by the time I came here I felt a lot more comfortable in myself and with student life. Having definite interests really helps when you move to a new city - you look for things that you like, as opposed to trying to figure out who you are. Although Nottingham isn’t that big, there’s a lot of variety compared to larger cities and it has a good atmosphere. The rent is a lot cheaper than in Edinburgh as well! If I had to give new students one piece of advice, it would be to look beyond the stereotypical student lifestyle. There’s a massive difference between going out to student nights or clubs and going out to gigs and non-student nights. It’s important to become involved in the city rather than just the campus. There’s more to Nottingham than chain shops and pubs. Oh, and look out for the Vegan Cookzine which I’m writing with my friend Alex, it should be out at Christmas and is aimed at students and people interested in learning to cook vegan. www.veggies.org.uk/sumac

I’m pretty smug about! I resigned this summer to go freelance, which I’m really enjoying. My advice? Don’t worry if you don’t experience your ideal situation straight away. You’ll have an image of how it will be, which it might not live up to. When you’re 18 you like to think you’re worldly-wise and know everything but you have to keep an open mind. It might take a while but you will meet like-minded people eventually. www.thehellsetorchestra.co.uk

Support the things that make Nottingham unique. If you socialise in It’s a Scream and shop in TK Maxx, you might as well have gone to uni anywhere. Cheque Go and watch Forest, but stand in the A Block. The student block is tucked away in the corner and has zero atmosphere - pay full price and sing up. It’s Alan Do some exercise. You don’t have to be Mr or Mrs Sport, but join the gym, or an intramural sports team. It’s not going to mean anything on your CV, despite what your teachers told you, but it’s fun and sociable. seamus flannery I studied graphics at Trent and stayed - mainly because my hometown Gloucester is a dump. I felt like I’d upgraded. I met all my best mates here and was having a wicked time. Shifter What makes Nottingham so great as a place to study as that all the services you could want from a university city are packed into a small, easily to navigate area. It’s not an intimidating sprawl like Manchester, London or Birmingham, and desn’t lack anything that they have. Mr BRJ I went to Nottingham Uni and stuck around partly because I was having a great time running a bar, and partly because, having spent so much time being drunk and irritating the locals I felt there was a balance to be restored by standing in Schnapps getting puked on and insulted by the next generation of bright young prospects. I’m due to reach equilibrium point in September 2009. Boy Wonder Went to Birmingham Uni when I was 18 and did my BA, spending more time in Notts than rubbish Brum. Then came back here and straight away started an MA at Trent part-time. I’ll be sticking in Notts for at least another year, but realistically more like forever. Seamus Flannery I went to Uni here for a year but the course wasn’t right so I quit. I have been here ever since. I went back to Uni in Derby about eight years ago but stayed living in Nottingham. The people who hung around at the bus station in Derby frightened me! Samyouwell

¤AND¾THEN¾STAY¾HERE ¾ CREATE¾OUR¾JOBS ¾TEACH¾ OUR¾KIDS ¾PAY¾OUR¾TAXES ¾ FEED¾OUR¾CULTURE¤¾

I studied here because I dropped out of a course in London and was broke. It was the best thing I ever did though - I’m still here because there aren’t many other cities in the country that can compete with Nottingham. Christmasatthezoo

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Fear not, Freshers; Uncle Rob Cutforth is here to help you fit in to the wonderful world of Nottingham... YOU’VE DONE IT. You’ve studied hard, you’ve passed your tests and you’ve managed to get away from your parents. You’ve chosen Nottingham because it’s got a good nightlife and the perfect location. It’s far enough away from your parents that they can’t drop in while you’re in the midst of a spliff and fellatio session, but close enough that they can come by and fill your cupboards on demand. Genius. Problem is, you know nothing about Nottingham. You’ve heard about Robin Hood, the bar culture and the gun crime, but you know nothing of the people... Nottinghamites are a divided lot. There are two main camps in Nottingham; in the first , you have the so-called ‘normal’ people. The people who work nine-to-five, pay their taxes on time, drive minivans and go market-hopping on Sundays. People whose biggest worry is who is going to pick the 2.5 kids up from football/cricket/dance/ aikido/pottery class. Nottingham’s other camp is comprised of the oddballs. Eccentrics, Emos, Goths, Geeks, Bums, Chavs, Yobs, Hooligans, Mobsters, Freaks, Punks and every possible combination. Goth-Geeks, Chav-Punks and Mobster-Hooligans are probably the most common. In fact, Nottingham’s Godfather of Crime looks more like a Milwall supporter than Tony Soprano.

wax onto your barnet. For breakfast, crush ten diet pills into an energy drink and make yourself throw up. Spend the morning in a tanning booth and have two cocktails and a small bucket of cocaine for lunch in Sinatra’s or Fashion Cafe. Spend the afternoon on the phone trying to convince all your friends that investing in the housing market during the credit crunch is a good idea. Shout ‘Wanker!’ at your phone after they hang up on you. Go home and cry yourself to sleep, wishing you were dead.

steel buckles on them. Tie your long, jet-black hair back into a ponytail and don your black jeans, black t-shirt (with a dragon on it) and apply some black mascara. Work the morning shift ripping tickets at the Tales of Robin Hood and spend the rest of the day at the Malt Cross writing the first three chapters of your fantasy novel over and over. Make two cups of tea last the whole afternoon. While away the twilight hours at home surfing Vampirefreaks.com, playing World of Warcraft and painting tiny warrior figurines. Eat a bat and float back into your coffin. Sleep with your eyes open.

ride you’re operating; instead gorge yourself on mushy peas with mint sauce until you vomit on your shirt. Don’t change your shirt. Drink mouthwash until you pass out on the waltzers.

Nottingham has so many oddballs that many have yet to be classified. Why, just today I saw a woman in her early forties outside Pret a Manger sporting a red poncho and combat trousers, smoking a cigarette through a cigarette holder. How messed up is that? Show me another city that’s got a militant Cruella De Vil, I dare ya. There are not many things the normal people and the oddballs agree on, but one thing that unites the entirety of the Nottingham populace is their hatred of you, the student. And why shouldn’t they? You waltz into town with your pristine livers, full sets of teeth, youthful energy, vitality and massive libidos without a care in the world. You bastards. A Nottinghamite can muster more excitement about a root canal or colonic irrigation than Freshers’ week. How are we - the fat, ugly locals - supposed to keep our wives interested in us when some shirtless, drunken student with a spring in his step and a natural six-pack goes traipsing past? It’s hard to compete with that when you’ve got love handles, back spots and a deviated septum. With that in mind, I’ve developed an alternative freshers’ week for you, designed to help you blend in with the locals. Each day, you will take on the habits of a local Nottinghamite, thus giving you a better understanding of the people that live around you. Why be the most hated group of people in the city, when you could be its most well-loved?

Day Four · The Canadian Expat Writer

Day Two · The Emo Let the world know that you don’t care what they think of you by spending two hours getting ready to go out. Ask your mother for some money and throw a temper tantrum if she says no. Cry and scream at the top of your lungs. Tell her you hate her and that she’s a no-good bitch, then steal a twenty out of her bag when she’s not looking. Show people just how anti-establishment you are by hanging out in front of the Council House. Don’t actually take any ecstasy while you’re there, just act like you think people act when they’re on ecstasy. Make out with an ugly, pimple-faced dude and laugh maniacally at nothing. Hide your Nickelback boxed set when your other Emo friends come over to your house.

Put on your oversized hoodie (a nice fluffy one, maybe with a University name on the front) and a baseball cap on backwards. Place a pair of Oakley sunglasses on top of the cap and throw on a pair of shorts, no matter what the weather is like. Get a Canada flag tattoo and whinge incessantly about how patriotic Americans are. Spend the entire day whinging about how bad the crime is in England and shout at someone who accidentally calls you an American. Write a column whinging about how crap England is. Look up ‘irony’ in the dictionary.

Day Seven · Rebecca Adlington Jump straight out of bed into a GB Olympic tracksuit. Spend the morning getting cats down from trees, solving crimes and beating up bad guys by whipping them unconscious with your beautiful, blonde locks. Walk old ladies across the street, lower taxes and inflation and pull the country out of a recession. End world hunger and cure Cancer, Aids, Hepatitis C, Malaria, Gingivitis and Athlete’s Foot. Go to sleep feeling slightly guilty that you could’ve done more. (OK, Rebecca Adlington might technically be from Mansfield, but surely she must’ve done her swimming in Nottingham. You can’t train to be an Olympic champion in a mine shaft. Mansfield, quit trying to steal Aah Beckeh!)

Day Five · The Chav Do the ‘Escape With Your Life’ pub-crawl around town with your mates - Squares, ‘Spoonehs’, The Thurland, the King John, the Bentinck, etc. The one with the least chunks of glass in their face wins! Extra points for anyone who shouts ‘Brian Clough was a bummer!’ at the bar.

Day Six · The Goose Fair carnie

Day One · The Estate Agent If there is one thing Nottingham has a lot of, it’s estate agents. To get to know these people better, start your morning by donning a pinstriped suit and slapping eight gallons of hair

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Together we will herald a new era of Nottinghamite/Student togetherness, peace, love and understanding. Gone will be the days of punch-ups with the locals in front of Yates’, replaced with handshakes and hugs over a can of Tennants Super and an illegal dogfight. This Freshers’ week schedule can make that happen. Go out there and embrace your community, student; you won’t regret it.

Day Three · The Goth Geek Rise out of your coffin and strap on platform black leather boots with at least eighteen shiny

Roll around in dog shit for an hour, eat a garlic sandwich and rub a dead rat on your armpits. Play Rock, Paper, Scissors with the other carnies to see who gets to man the rides that flip the girls’ skirts up. Pay no attention to the

read more of Rob’s rantings at www.canuckistani.com


Why is it that authors who write about women being shagged by six hundred men in one sitting, accidents during masturbation, fighting with fellow males as a means of escaping a Sunday afternoon in Ikea and joining testicular cancer groups for kicks are the nicest, most polite people in the world?

words: James Walker and Jared Wilson photo: Dom Henry

Welcome to the world of Chuck Palahniuk, writer of Fight Club and in town recently to promote his latest novel, Snuff... Is there really a musical of Fight Club in the works? David Fincher has been keeping everyone committed to this project for several years now and every time I think it’s dead, someone else talks to David and he keeps referring to it. So as far as I know as long as David is working on it, it’s still a project. And he went to Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails and asked for his commitment to do the soundtrack. I think he got a verbal commitment over the phone. Do you approve? I love Trent Reznor’s work. I was listening to it endlessly when I was writing the book. We heard that Radiohead are soundtracking the movie version of Choke... I was listening to Creep over and over again when I was writing Choke. I mentioned that to the director and I think as a kind of gift to me, they went ahead and approached Radiohead. Initially they were going to do the closing credits songs, the sort of equivalent of the Pixies song in Fight Club. But as the project developed, they committed to doing ambient music as well. So hopefully they’ll be doing a large part of the soundtrack, yeah. You’re always going to be tied to Fight Club. How do you feel about it now? There are parts of it that I would write differently but at this point in my life, it’s not the book that I would write. I’m glad I wrote Fight Club when I did because every book sort of represents a portion of your life, kind of like a scrapbook, a document of how you felt at that point in your life. It’s almost like reading my diary or a journal from fifteen years ago. In that case, what made you want to write about a 600-man gang-bang in Snuff? One of the main things was being at book signing interacting with hundreds and hundreds of people, one after the other. This is sometimes for eight hours or more and trying to be spontaneous and meet them with the same level of enthusiasm that they are meeting me with is incredibly exhausting. Writing about it as a movie is just a sort of way to express that.

So it’s an author’s metaphor, rather than a comment on the sex industry? Yes and no. That aspect is. A lot of fans have fainted at your readings, especially during your explicit descriptions of masturbation. What’s the current head-count? I quit counting two years ago. At that point I think it was seventy-one people and even beyond that I still read out my stories, I just didn’t count. The greatest number of people in one setting was at Brighton two years ago when I read with

h ) M GLAD ) WROTE &IGHT #LUB WHEN ) DID BECAUSE EVERY BOOK SORT OF REPRESENTS A PORTION OF YOUR LIFE KIND OF LIKE A SCRAPBOOK A DOCUMENT OF HOW YOU FELT AT THAT POINT IN YOUR LIFE )T S ALMOST LIKE READING MY DIARY FROM l FTEEN YEARS AGO v Irvine Welsh. Thirteen people fainted. There was a St. John’s Ambulance van there, taking people out. They had about eight or nine hundred people in the audience, so I guess relatively it was a small percentage, but still thirteen people! You seem rather proud of this. I’m always proud when spoken words from a story can have any kind of physical impact. Irvine Welsh took ten years to write Crime (about paedophilia) because he had to write comical stories in between. How do you cope with writing books that have such a strong

emotional and psychological impact? My only pattern is to write one extreme book and then one less extreme book. But no matter what I do, it’s with a humour that comes from depicting very extreme things that fail to receive a socially appropriate emotional reaction to them. If you depict something very extreme and you don’t engage in the drama of it then you’re like Tyler in Fight Club, looking down at the bloody face and saying ‘cool’. There’s a humour that comes from being disconnected; it allows me to coax the reader into more horrible and challenging places without being completely shut down or alienated by the subject matter. We seem to live in a culture of excess. Does your writing contribute towards this or are you simply reporting on it? There is nothing that I can imagine that a million people aren’t already doing. No matter what I write, people still come up to me and tell me even more extreme things or they tell me that I have documented an aspect of their lives that they thought that they were alone in. My degrees are in journalism so I guess that’s what I do; I collect and document these stories. Few people in the States actually read, and books have the kind of safety that allows you to tell these stories. What are your thoughts on the American election? I’m about the least political person you could talk to. Me and the state that I live in voted Obama in the primaries. It will probably be who I vote for in the finals in November. But I’m just tired of the Clintons and Bushes who seem to have dominated most of my life. I think it’s more Bush and Clinton fatigue than anything else. If you could fight anyone, who would it be? That’s always an easy one. It would be me. When I listen to myself interviewing other people I’m always so disgusted by my own voice and hearing all of the opportunities I overlook as I’m sort of driving the interview. When I see myself on film I’m always like a stranger that I don’t like or really strongly dislike.

Chuck’s new book Snuff is out now, published by Jonathan Cape books. Choke is scheduled for UK cinema release in November. www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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Electroclash upstarts Late Of The Pier are not only one of the most exciting new bands in the UK at the moment (debut album Fantasy Black Channel produced by Klaxons and Kylie collaborator Erol Alkan, festival gigs a-plenty, and an NME cover), but they also - gasp! - sort of come from round here. Are they the foot in the door for the Trent Tempo? We had a word with frontman Sam Eastgate just before they embarked on their next tour.... words: Jared Wilson photo: David Blenkey You’re from Castle Donington, but we’re claiming you as our own. Because you all grew up together in Notts, right? Yeah, we went to the same primary school and hung out together from an early age. Then we started going out to nights in the city like the Liars Club at The Social. There was a huge buzz of art students at that time and a really colourful scene. We turned up as fifteen, sixteen-year-olds and hustled our way in and found out about music. Everything that was happening in Nottingham in 2004 just came straight out, hit us on our head and made us wake up and know what we wanted to do. So we formed this band. Your sound is quite experimental. How does it come together? We wrote our first few songs as we were learning to play our instruments, which we did without any proper tuition. We messed about and experimented to see what we could do differently to other people, so there’d be a lot of weird time signatures and strange chords. When you don’t really know how to play an instrument, in some ways, you end up being more creative - or, at least, experimental - and so we were hearing a lot of stuff that was going on. There was this electroclash scene, as it was known at the time, but is nowadays called nu-rave. There were hundreds of bands doing those sounds, mixing electronic and punk and various other kinds of noise. Even now when we make music it’s very influenced by that kind of early excitement, and we try to relive that excitement and create that mood with our music. So how old are you guys now? We’re all 21 apart from Sam Potter, who is 22. We all had a joint birthday party recently to celebrate. I bet that was a fun night‌ Yeah. When we signed our record deal we got carried away and asked Parlophone if they would sort us a house so we could all live together and make music. To our surprise they said yes, and we had a big party involving lots of people camping outside.

We had a fancy dress theme, which was a real laugh. We don’t really have many days off at the moment, with the constant touring, so when we do we grasp the opportunity to be really silly. How did it feel to sign to Parlophone, after releasing singles on smaller labels? It just felt right really. We were being ‘courted’ by a few labels, which is quite a gross term when you think about it. Basically a lot of them took us for squid dinners. We didn’t have any ambition to be this in-your-face big band straight away - we just want to make music. Parlophone were clear that they didn’t

h%VERYTHING THAT WAS HAPPENING IN JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT HIT US ON OUR HEAD AND MADE US WAKE UP AND KNOW WHAT WE WANTED TO DO 3O WE FORMED THIS BAND v

want to rush us, saying the first album didn’t have to sell, taking the pressure off. They just wanted us to make music and put a huge blank canvas in front of us. So where did the band name come from? When we decided to form the band it was a phrase that was kicking about. I’m not sure what it meant. It was written on one of the demos and was meant to be the name of the demo rather than the band, but these things just happen sometimes and get lost in history. It’s the same with most of the track titles - no one can really remember when they come from. Erol Alkan produced the album didn’t he? What’s it been like working with him? We knew Erol from when he used to play at Liars Club. He was putting things together like Aphex Twin with Abba, which we’d never heard done before yet made perfect sense at two in the morning. A year or two later he approached us and said he’d like to record with us and we were flabbergasted - he had celebrity status, in our minds. But as soon as you start talking to him you’re completely on the same level. He embraced the fact we had so many different ideas, and understood straight away what we were doing. What was the last thing that made you laugh? My girlfriend bought all these strange exercise tools that are basically big stretchy bits of elastic. We did different sorts of exercises with them and I caught sight of us in the mirror. We looked like a four-legged, four-armed beast. It could be really good for a music video. What was the last thing that made you cry? I can’t remember. I’m obviously not one of those sensitive guys. What was the last book you read? I got a collection of short stories by Roald Dahl for my birthday. They’re the stories he wrote before he did children’s books and they’re aimed more at adults with some quite twisted stuff in there. It’s a good insight into his work, a bit like listening to a band’s early demos. What’s your favourite pub in Notts? I like the Bell Inn where a lot of my friends work. But I’m not really a pub kind of guy. I usually go to The Social. What’s your favourite live venue? It used to be The Social but they don’t put the Liars Club on anymore. I used to like downstairs at Cabaret (now Escucha) but that’s probably because I was so excited when we last played there two years ago. You got bigger outside of Nottingham than you did here‌ All the Nottingham bands we talked to would always say it’d be really hard to get a good reception in London compared to here, but we always found the opposite. When all the old Liars Club crew and the art students moved out in about 2004 I think a lot of them moved down to London and it sort of became our second home. But now we can come back to Nottingham with our heads held high because we have crafted our sound. Is there anything else you want to say to our readers? Go out and buy some records because the musicians are starving and they need your money. No that’s not true, they’re getting money from their live shows so don’t worry. Go to iTunes and listen to some new music. Happy hunting...

Fantasy Black Channel is out now on Parlophone. www.lateofthepier.com

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Notts for the faint-hearted Nottingham: officially one of the most haunted cities in the country, don’t you know. Alison Emm - with assistance from Billy TwoShopping-Centres, her Red Indian spirit guide - runs around in the dark and screams for no reason whatsoever like a big yitney as she takes you through the most pant-wettvc ingly petrifying parts of the city... illustrations: Michael Lomon Say ‘Nottingham’ to folk from not round these parts and they are likely to mention Robin Hood or Brian Clough (after they ask if you’ve ever been shot at, anyway). Rob and Bri are great, but they aren’t the only thing that did (or didn’t) happen in Nottingham’s past. Ours is a city steeped in history, with settlements dating back to pre-Roman times, and it has seen its fair share of action - with not all of it being that pleasant. Let’s have a look at the most soil-yourself-scary ones, starting with...

The Old Angel Yep, that punky pub off Hockley actually dates all they way back to the 1600s, and was formerly a chapel and a brothel (but not at the same time, obviously). The former is represented by cellar caves that are hollowed in the shape of a crucifix, while the latter gave the pub a prostitute who was murdered 200 years ago and who still haunts the place to this day. It is also said to be home to a singing, fruitmachine-playing ghost which doesn’t seem too bad a way to while away your afterlife. This is the best place in town to start your ghostbusting activities, as the Guts and Gore ghost walk is led by Ezekial Bone from this venue on Wednesdays, a raconteur who revels in Nottingham’s darker past with his Bone Corporation - check ‘em out at www.bonecorporation.co.uk.

Galleries of Justice/Gallows Hill Foreman Street

Before the days of telly, people amused themselves by taking the family down to the Shire Hall (Galleries of Justice) or Gallows Hill (the crossroads of Mansfield Road and Forest Road East) to watch criminals get what was coming to them - death, in case you were wondering. Vantage points were so in demand that locals who had houses overlooking would hire out their rooms so people could get a better view. Bit like getting a directors box at the football really; better view, comfier seats but you miss out on the atmosphere. As you’d expect, with all the dying that took place, both these spots have had many reported ghost sightings.

Although Forest Road is currently the place to hang out if you’re a Lady of the Night (or a sad bastard), Foreman Street (by the Cornerhouse) used to be the prime spot to indulge in a little bit of what you fancied. A notorious prostitute by the name of Nellie Banks used to turn tricks at number 23 (above what is now Prezzo Pizzeria), and former proprietors of the shop have reported frantic banging and knocking sounds from the floor above when there has definitely been no-one up there. One of the more popular explanations is that it’s the ghost of one of Nellie’s regulars - a renowned judge - who died up there from over-exhaustion....

Bridlesmith Gate Just like us living types, Nottingham’s spectres need the occasional night out too. In the seventies, The Hippo Club (The Bomb, to anyone under the age of thirty) was said to have had regulars in the form of phantom Cavaliers and Quakers. Sadly, they used to get right out of order - certain revellers swore blind they had felt the sensation of invisible hands touching them on their nights out. Sadly, the venue is boarded up, but there are plenty of other pubs in town if you want to be touched up by the walking dead.

Wollaton Park The grounds of Wollaton Hall are a great place to take the family or just relax in the summer - but if you have a phobia of Noddy and Big Ears, you might want to give it a miss, seeing as there have been sightings of up to sixty gnomes in the grounds, driving around in little two-seater cars, ‘playfully’ chasing children. Apparently said gnomey cars make no sound, which means they must be pretty enviromentally friendly. On a less creepy note, a ghostly woman can be seen walking her equally dead dog along the lake at dusk and strange lights have often been seen in the Dovecote, off the stable yard.

Nottingham Castle/ Mortimer’s Hole

The Salutation Inn

Like Doctor Who, the Castle has had a number of incarnations since being built nearly a thousand years ago, and has naturally been host to many battles, murders, and other palaver in its time, meaning it’s a veritable ghostly Butlins. The castle’s most famous resident is Queen Isabella, French wife of Edward II and knock-off of Roger Mortimer, who actually deposed her husband and tried to set up his own Parliament in Notts before being dragged from her quarters by her own son, down through the tunnels (which now bear his name) to be imprisoned in the castle’s keep before being taken to the Tower of London to be hung, drawn and quartered. Although the Queen did not die in the Castle, her pleading cries to her son for Mortimer’s release can still be heard today. Sort of like an episode of Trisha stuck on a loop.

As one of the oldest pubs in the country, The Sal has been around long enough to have gathered a huge gang of ghosts. A highwayman is said to draw his pistols and wander between the pub and the caves below, a playful four-year-old girl likes to move things around, a past landlord who may or may not have accidentally drunk poison still hangs about, and there’s even a disfigured prostitute by the name of Jezebel. The Salutation is also where Nottingham’s regular Saturday night ghost walk begins and ends - book your ticket for some hot disfigured slattern action at www.ghost-walks.co.uk. www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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He’s an actor, a West End performer, a singer, Ian Beale’s nemesis, the hunky chunk of meteorological funk who sets your Mam’s isobars off on a daily basis...an honest-to-God winky-pointy Renaissance Man, if you will. He’s Des Coleman, people, and this is his region; we just live in it... words: Al Needham photo: David Baird There’s a lot more to you than meets the eye, Des. We’ve flicked through your CV, and you’ve done loads of things… You know, I’ve been lucky. I was brought up to believe that you should spread your wings and do as many things as possible.

taken out of me for my accent. But the experience taught me that the most important skill is tenacity; being able to take hundreds of knock-backs. Anyway, I ended up in Miss Saigon, which to me at the time was the best thing ever.

You started off as a welder, didn’t you? Yeah, you’ve always got to have a trade behind you. Way before the days of Health and Safety - your hands’d be filthy, you’d eat a sandwich, and the blacker the sandwich, the more of a man you were - but I thought; ‘Flippin’ hell, do I really want to be doing this for the rest of my life? There’s got to be something out there more suited to me’.

And then EastEnders came a-knocking. Were you excited? My initial reaction, because of my age and experience, was; so what? It’s a soap - what’s a bloke like me in his twenties care about a soap? It was on at seven o’clock, I’m out at seven o’clock, trying to hit top As and top B-flats in the West End - big notes, them, particularly when you’re a baritone. It was only supposed to be a three-week gig, but they got a few letters from viewers who enjoyed seeing a more light-hearted character in the show, and it went out to three months, and then four years.

Did you have a craving for fame, then? No. It was never a case of that. My mum says that when we were kids, my brother was always at her feet, while I would be down the road, being endlessly curious. I never wanted to grow up. When I thought about what a man was, I always thought of them in a bowler hat, being deferential, and never friggin’ smiling. I think I did everything I possibly could to avoid becoming a man. That’s why I got into trouble, I suppose. Ah, yes. You went through a stage of being a bad ‘un… You’ve obviously read my entry in Wikipedia, then? I dunno who writes this nonsense. Let me tell you the truth; I was a street kid from Derby who grew up with a load of guys at an age where if you didn’t get into trouble, you were a boring bastard. A mate had a car, we got in, there was no MOT or insurance, and I got caught. I carried on driving without MOT and insurance, and got caught again, and again. I was banged up for a month with this bloke, and we had this chat about what we really wanted to do with our lives. He wanted to be a doctor, and I talked about wanting to be an actor, and he said ‘well, why not?’ Work had already sacked me, so I had nothing to lose. And no, I’m not ashamed of my past at all. A lot of kids get into trouble, but it doesn’t mean you can’t turn your life around. So you went to drama school... Yep, with posh kids who drove new cars and whose parents had dinner with Cliff Richard, while I was working at Pizzaland, getting constipation from the free food, and having the piss

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It must have been a pretty mad time, becoming instantly famous… The really mad thing about working in ‘Enders was that it was all-consuming; the only time you forgot you were in EastEnders was when you were actually in the studio doing it. As soon as you’re out the studio, everyone reminds you of what you do. You leave the house; ‘Lennay! Lennay!’ Stop at the traffic lights; ‘Lennay! Lennay’ Go to America on your holiday; ‘Lennay! Lennay!’ It’s a different sort of fame when you’re in soaps; you worm your way in to the public psyche. Everyone feels they’re a part of you and comes up and touches you and tries to knock you out because their girlfriend fancies you. So how did you go from making Ian Beale’s life a misery to telling us it’s going to chuck it down in Skeggy? Well, I’d done Porgy and Bess for a year in the West End - Trevor Nunn-directed, I’ll have you know - and I’d bought a house in Derby, and was looking for something closer to home. So I got in touch with the head of regional programmes for BBC East Midlands and he said ‘Our weather presenter’s off for three months - would you like to fill in?’ And I’d never worked in an office - sorry, newsroom - before. It’s a whole new world! I never knew photocopiers were so friggin’ big! And it was so quiet. I had to leave the office and go outside and shout at myself for a bit, because it was doing my head in. But it’s another learning experience.

The thing we like about your presenting style is that it always looks like you’ve just nipped into the studio from a club, and you’re about to go back there, as you’ve got a couple of birds on… Ha! There’s a lot of work goes into it, actually - the BBC is driven by public need, and when it comes to local broadcasting, weather is really important. It’s a forty-hour per week gig, and the TV side is only a minute and a half. I’ve had to do loads of training at the Met Office. Your persona in front of the map; another character, or the real you? Well, they were against me moving about at first. They said; ‘You can’t do that, you’ll be out of your light’. But i thought thought, ‘sod it, I’m only here for three months, ‘ There’s nothing worse than not trying things your way, and failing. Fail on your own terms, mate. So how long do you think you’re going to do this? I really don’t know. I’m enjoying it, and the BBC is really flexible. So who knows? Yes, I do miss doing stage shows and whatnot, but it’s nice to have a bit of stability. I’m actually understanding what the Friday feeling is. Someone on the LeftLion forum asked if you ever use mascara, as you have the most beautiful eyelashes… I always get that! No, I don’t. We’re all liking your style on the forum, Des… That’s really nice to hear, mate - makes it all worthwhile. Tell ‘em if they ever see me in town, I’ll buy ‘em a drink, as long as there’s no more than five of ‘em. How many people read this? About forty thousand or so. Oh, shit!

Des Coleman does the weather for BBC East Midlands at various points throughout the day. www.bbc.co.uk/eastmidlandstoday


Vito Acconci Shaina Anand Atelier Van Lieshout Angela Bulloch Chris Evans Harun Farocki Dan Graham Mona Hatoum Thomas Hirschhorn Evan Holloway Ashley Hunt Elie Kagan Multiplicity Bruce Nauman Tatiana Trouvé Artur Zmijewski

‘Prison begins a long way before the prison gates.’ Sixteen major artists imprisoned in abandoned police cells investigate the lasting legacy of Discipline and Punish, Michel Foucault’s extraordinary indictment of a society shaped by surveillance, control and incarceration. Free for Everyone The old Police Station Galleries of Justice Nottingham

www.nottinghamcontemporary.org

Open daily 9 am–5 pm

With thanks to the Michel Foucault Archive for original material from the Groupe d’Information sur les Prisons. Logo by Benoit Platéus. Main image by Tatiana Trouvé


It is perhaps inevitable then that the Playhouse also has to put on commercial ventures such as Tracey Beaker in order to compete with the Theatre Royal. We can’t hold that against them and besides, it is a formula which has worked on the screen and the page, so why not have a bit of the cake? ‘There is a commercial incentive but it’s also about trying to find a story that can connect with today’s new generation of theatre goers. This also fit into another strand we try to achieve each year of a family show for summertime’.

There’s Always Next Season Nottingham Playhouse: into its sixtieth year, and more than just the building that wears the Sky Mirror like a big earring, as James Walker Nottingham Playhouse celebrates its diamond anniversary this year with some theatrical gems. Though sixty pages would be more befitting to celebrate its achievements, here’s the basic history in sixty words: The Playhouse is a proscenium theatre with an auditorium seating 750. Launched in 1948 in a converted cinema in Goldsmith Street it quickly built up a keen local following and national acclaim under Andre Van Gyseghem. It relocated to Peter Moro’s design in 1963, the award-winning Artistic Director is Giles Croft, 100,000 people visit yearly, and the Sky Mirror’s outside… We wondered at first whether to mention the Anish Kapoor sculpture, as we thought it might be akin to mentioning the tram stop when doing a feature on the Theatre Royal. Yet within ten minutes of talking to Communications Manager Derek Graham it becomes clear that Sky Mirror is an integral part of the theatre’s life, bringing in new visitors from the visual arts sector in much the same way that recent folk productions have lured musical audiences into the leafy nook of one of Nottingham’s hidden gems. It’s about survival, and the bastards out there have sharp teeth.

According to Graham, the move from the converted cinema was ‘a real step-up from a fairly small enterprise. The crucial thing for the Playhouse was that the Arts Council stepped in and supported what was a very new venture in Post-War Britain. As long as they raised four fifths of the costs by public appeal, the Arts Council would chip in the rest’. Yet, as funding has changed, the Playhouse has had to find numerous ways to get the punters in, which is perhaps reflected in its anniversary programme. As Graham says, ‘the plays this season aren’t put on to reflect a particular celebratory theme. Really, it’s a very typical season for us in that it’s balanced, hopefully, with a classic drama in Macbeth, the pantomime for the family, and a play by a living writer in Vertigo. So we have new projects alongside well recognised titles’. Sounds like the artistic equivalent of a Cloughian midfield. Perhaps inevitably, the slow removal of funding has, amongst other things, had an impact on the Playhouse ethos of being ‘about living writers, new work, commissioning plays and taking a few risks as well’. Though there is a grave

Nottingham's one and only veggieterranean (and vegan) deli...

financial risk in giving new blood a chance, they seem to be good to their word, recently running an entire season of new writers and plays. But how far can these boundaries be pushed if the Playhouse is to remain an open space for ideas’? Surely the Playhouse has some taboo subjects which it avoids so as not to alienate audiences? ‘I’m not sure playwrights are more conscious of offending,’ says Graham, ‘theatre programmers probably are, but if they believe in a project they’ll do it. Theatre is one of the spaces where you can really go into ideas and explore different points of view. A character on stage spouting a certain view doesn’t mean that the play is advancing that point of view. Theatre is one of the places where you can examine uncomfortable feelings.’

Five Great Moments in Playhouse History The Playhouse’s New Home 1963 The Playhouse may have been born in 1948, but it came of age with the move to Peter Moro’s gorgeously stylish new building. The cylindrical design meant that no-one in the audience was ever more than sixty feet from the stage. Refurbished in 2004 and proof that sixties concrete doesn’t have to look like an Orwellian nightmare.

Comedians World Premiere 1975 Trevor Griffiths’ savage masterpiece nailed the politics of the decade, predicted alternative comedy years before anyone called it that, played on Broadway before being filmed by the BBC and is still knicker-wettingly funny. A highlight from the ground-breaking seventies reign of Richard Eyre, who could have filled this list on his own. Twice.

When Taylor became artistic director in 1984, he decided what Nottingham needed was

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To its credit the Playhouse has adapted and shifted wherever necessary and has stayed true to its founding principles of nurturing new talent. The Theatre Writing Partnership for example was set up in 2001 to commission at least one new production of their own a year. This year, Amanda Whittington was the recipient, seeing her Satin ‘n’ Steel grow from a fifteen-minute short to a fulllength play in February. If you want to see the Playhouse put on more world premieres over the next sixty years then get down and support it. If you want to be part of the new wave of writers then get your pens out and send the work off. www.nottinghamplayhouse.co.uk

Kenneth Alan Taylor’s first Panto 1984

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It is perhaps this struggle to adapt which is the real story of the sixty years of the Playhouse. Take their educational project Roundabout which has created over 250 plays in thirty years and taken tough topical issues out into the community. This partnership has been subject to the kind of restructuring you would expect from a venture utilising multiple revenue streams which have been cut and reinstated over the years creating as much drama off stage as on it. In 2000 this culminated in the Council cutting its grant and the instant loss of 40% of their revenue. Fees went up to compensate which inevitably meant some schools lost out. Those in rural locations were hit hardest as they don’t have the option of sharing costs with neighbouring schools. These are not the signs of a classless society but rather the massive impact one small change has on the cultural infrastructure of regional theatre. Indeed, just as it was the downward spiral of bombs from the sky which created public investment into the arts and made the Playhouse happen it is now the rising cost of living and soaring interest rates which begs for investment again. Credit crunch, pint at lunch, artistic hunch?

a traditional pantomime, with no TV stars, nothing that went over kids’ heads and plenty of cheesy gags: the rest is history, all twentyfive annual volumes of it. And he’s back on stage this Christmas as Widow Twankey.

Unveiling of the Sky Mirror 2001 We were told Anish Kapoor’s huge shiny wok would be able to focus a beam of light so intense it would instantly vaporise any stray pigeon crossing its path. Sadly, it can’t, but despite that it’s probably still the best, and most prestigious, piece of permanent public art in the city.

The Burial at Thebes 2005 Seamus Heaney’s adaptation dragged one of the earliest plays in the world kicking and screaming into post-Guantanamo modernity, whilst director Lucy Pitman-Wallace’s sharp, clean, production brought home five-star reviews and international acclaim.

words: Nathan Miller



PIXEL PERFECT

Barret Hodgson (theMuteBoy/vjCoda) and James Brouwer (Mijim) run Vent Media, an innovative design company who slapped that massive screen behind the back of the bar at Brownes, amongst other things. Utilising still and moving images, often in conjunction with other art forms for nightclubs, festivals, galleries and theatre, they mix, sample, blend and scratch images to generate a unique set of sequences and improvised real-time visual tracks. Barret took the opportunity to (ahem) vent spleen about the way he operates... words: Amanda Young Who do you work with on a regular basis? Detonate have been giving us a lot of work. They have taken over Brownes in Hockley, and we installed a big screen in there with a baroque ornate frame and have sorted out the content for that which will be showing every day. I worked onto a baroque painting that I changed, reducing the colours - quite subtle, really. We went out around Nottingham, north, south, east and west, driving in towards Brownes. On the top of the car we set three cameras capturing different angles, and then explored layering up the journey and really slowing it down. We’ve used the street lights for colour. I started thinking about the hues of browns and reds, the reduced pallet you get in baroque painting. Have you got an established style? My own personal style is about reducing palettes and thinking about the content itself, as well as a structure and performance in the palettes you use - and even compositions that give the flow of narrative a more abstract sense, so you are exploring what makes a visual structure. When working live usually you’ll either have directly interactive things - stuff that uses time signals to generate itself - or sequences of loops, which is how your library is, whether they are seamless loops or not. Then it’s how you start thinking about how to structure a more open, wider narrative based on those individual elements within it, that are looping and jumping around that timeline. What theatre work have you done? Earlier this year I did a play at the Lakeside called Smile by Steven Lowe, a prestigious writer based in Nottingham; he wrote The Spirit of the Man about Brian Clough a few years ago for the Playhouse. Anyway, there is constant projection throughout the play and the main character is manipulating the content - supposedly live on stage, but it’s actually me in the background doing it.

So you’re like a third-party artist, a performer behind the scenes... Yeah. I really don’t mind in a play situation. I get incredibly nervous, especially with theatre work; the live aspect is all about cueing and being on the ball, whereas in the VJ work I can be improvising for hours, doing it how I feel, and it reflects that. I’m doing another play with Steven soon - we’re talking about how we could use six projectors, front and back at the same time, to immerse the stage - more to do with textures and projection, and not such precise imaging as the last one to evoke atmosphere and mood - something more within the realms of stage design and art installation. Do you enjoy working in interactive arts? Yeah, we try to do as much as we can, when there’s the time and budget for it. I am doing more programming for it now, which is more interactive work directly. We are doing an audio/visual piece at the National Space Centre in Leicester. They’ve got one of the 360 degree domes, so there are six projectors doing the full environment - it’ll be fantastic! I’ve been working on various methods of doing it. I find myself turning into more of a geek than I realise! What’s agitating your geek gland at the moment, then? At the moment I’m very excited about Quartz Composer. It’s a modular based programming tool that you get free with a Mac, as part of their developers’ tools. It allows people with little traditional programming background to work with the depth of possibilities of interactive media. We also use a combination of Max/Msp and Isadora, as well as your more traditional creative applications. So yeah, I wake up at 2am and think ‘Oooh…’ it’s so tempting. I can’t help but get up and start programming until six in the morning, then realising I’ve got to work the next day which is quite sad, really!

You seem to cover an awful lot of disciplines… Yeah, I do like working in a diverse field. I think it all comes out of the Collaborative Arts MA I did at Trent. Even though I was doing a lot of stuff beforehand, it really allowed me to start working with theatre and dance people. I did an undergraduate course at Newcastle - fine art, painting, sculpture. It was very much about being in a studio working through your angst to get this painting out. I did a year or two of sculpture and then went into painting. I was uncomfortable with the whole thing really. I realised when I was there I was a picture-maker more than a three-dimensional person. But to be honest I liked computers. I used to feel like every project was critiqued about quality of line and mark making and all this business. I remember getting into drawing on computers just to avoid the quality issue; the line was one pixel thick, wherever it was on the page it would be one pixel thick. I just enjoyed working in drawing that way. I became a graphic designer for a few years and then realised I had little interest in the commercial work. But it was then that I VJ’d more drum and bass nights over at Lenton. That was using just slide projectors; crappy mechanical things that would fall apart and overheat and melt… it was great fun! How do your overcome the authorship issue, using found footage made by someone else - do you have any dilemma about it? It depends who I’m working for, really. When it comes to the VJing side of it, I haven’t got a problem with cutting up films that people know because it is just sampling, like musical sampling. You’re chopping it up and re-contextualising it. As long as you are not sitting there and playing the whole thing, I haven’t got a problem with that at all.

www.ventmedia.co.uk

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K`]Û[mjYlgjaYdÛ^g[mkÛ^gjÛl`akÛakkm]¿kÛ8jlaklÛGjgxÛd]kÛakÛEgllaf_`YeÛYjlaklkÛo`gÛ`Yn]Ûklgg\ÛgmlÛlgÛe]ÛafÛj][]flÛegfl`kÛ^gjÛ [j]Ylaf_Ûf]oÛZg\a]kÛg^ÛogjcÛ]al`]jÛ^gjÛnYjagmkÛ]p`aZalagfkÛgjÛhjgb][lk ÛK`akÛakkm]¿kÛ8jlaklÛGjgxÛd]kÛ[YfÛZ]Û[gfka\]j]\ÛYÛeafa¤ ljYn]ddaf_Û]p`aZalagfÛ^gjÛl`]Û^gmjÛk]d][l]\ÛYjlaklk Û[]d]ZjYlaf_Ûl`]Ûo]Ydl`Ûg^Û[j]Ylan]ÛlYd]flÛafÛl`]ÛEgllaf_`YeÛYj]Y¿Û 'SBODFT "TIUPO (BMMFSZ 4UVEJP .BOBHFS 4PVUIXFMM "SUTQBDF Georgina Bell

Kay van Bellen

What best describes your practice? The basis of my practice as an artist is drawing; however, I use a lot of textile processes and techniques like embroidery and felt making in my work. I make drawings and textile works that are loosely based on maps and the process of mapping.

What best describes your practice? I am an artist and illustrator working in both print processes and painting. I predominantly work with print processes throughout my practice, whether applied through a silkscreen digitally or methods such as monoprint and cut paper stencils.

What or who most inspires you? Travelling and journeys are a constant source of inspiration. What is it like to be a Nottingham artist? Originally I’m from Leeds and I moved to Nottinghamshire seven years ago. The thing I like about living and working here is that there always seems to be a lot of opportunities for artists here. It’s a vibrant and diverse community. I really like having my studio at Artspace Southwell, as it’s in a rural context rather than an urban one and that is a good contrast for me. What projects have you got in the pipeline? At the moment I’m finishing work for an exhibition titled Extreem Craft in the Hague. In October I’m going to be artist in residence at the Richard Attenborough center in Leicester, and I’m also getting ready for the Southwell Open Studios weekend on 18th & 19th October. Emplacement is an exhibition made for the Richard Attenborough Center in Leicester which addresses the conceptual nature of place and identity. The work explores the wider concept of journeys and mapping, and is based on personal experience of both physical and psychological travel. Cartography, weather charts and geographical and archaeological drawings are also visual influences. The works featured are drawings and embroideries based around the theme of maps. Emplacement is at the Richard Attenborough Centre from 30 August to 26 October. www.georginabell.com

What or who most inspires you? The simple things in life.... the little people that surround me, our family cat, the great outdoors! My journal and my drawings all record stories, tales and enchanting episodes of day-to-day life. What is it like to be a Nottingham artist? The arts scene in Nottingham is a little ‘ebb and flow’ at the moment; however, when Nottingham Contemporary opens it will crystallise the focus for artists. The support network is good locally and I have a good relationship with Nottingham Trent University. What projects have you got in the pipeline? Following the recent success of my screen-printed editions, I have just started work on a new collection. Take Me Home was a one-day launch event recently held at St Johns Community Hall, Watcombe Circus, Nottingham to celebrate Kay’s new collection of limited edition screen prints. Eight artworks in editions of twenty were exhibited on old-school artists’ easels, some of them encrusted with years and years of paint. The screen prints pay homage to the little people in her life. Sketches of Billy the cat, hiding places and the pace of everyday life are captured through layers of drawings, which are playful and restless. www.kayvanbellen.com

a^ÛqgmÛogmd\Ûdac]ÛlgÛ Z]Û^]Ylmj]\ÛafÛgmjÛ YjlaklÛhjgxÛd]kÛk][lagf Û hd]Yk]Û]eYadÛ YeYf\Y³ d]^ldagf [g mc

Glyn Brewerton

Geoff Diego Litherland

What best describes your practice? Evocative drawings and illustrations; messy, physical and as much about the act of drawing as the final outcome. What or who most inspires you? I’m inspired by anybody who goes to extraordinary lengths to make their work. I also really like collecting old and new illustrated books, and odd bits and bobs that can be turned into books and inform drawings and prints. Places like Chesil Beach in Portland Bill are particularly good for this. My bathroom is currently accumulating a number of found objects! What is it like to be a Nottingham artist? I’m not strictly a Nottingham artist. I do live here but my work tends to be done in all kinds of locations. I do think Nottingham contains many hidden talents that need to be seen. There are a wide range of really inspiring artists at work, and there is a really lively creative community. What projects have you got in the pipeline? I’ve written a few stories that I have started illustrating and which I aim to self-publish. I like the idea of being my own author, so I’m hoping to develop this in the future, as well as making batches of limited edition books. I’m showing some work in Portugal as part of a drawing exhibition in October at Lugar Do Desenho, Fundacao Julio Resende in Porto, and I’m currently in the thick of putting together a show of my drawings along with John Burns at the Lanchester Gallery at Coventry University. This will be an exhibition of drawings and artist journals that document journeys through the urban and rural landscape, and will be on show in October.

What best describes your practice? Painting mostly. I occasionally dabble in film and sound. What or who most inspires you? Recent inspiration would include the Pompidou Centre’s painting collection, the new Batman film, and the way the hay bales are piled on Clifton Moor. What is it like to be a Nottingham artist? I lived in Barcelona before coming to Nottingham, and although it’s regarded as a cultural Mecca, there were very few studio spaces and opportunities for artists. Nottingham is the opposite and has been very good to me; I’ve made some really close friends that have supported my artistic development. What future projects have you got in the pipeline? I’ve been selected for the John Moores 25 painting prize in Liverpool and after that I’ve got a solo show titled Multiverses at the Wallner Gallery in Nottingham.

Ghosts in the Wilderness is a series of charcoal drawings that were initially exhibited at The Workhouse Museum in Southwell, in March 2008, and since has been shown across the UK. The works document the traces of human passage across the hard to reach locations of the rural landscape, and convey the influence of weather, fatigue and spiritual homeland.

Multiverses is a new body of work created by the Anglo-Mexican artist. These new paintings combine bright kitsch colours that obliterate washes of primeval earth tones, hinting at the discrepancies and paradoxes of life.

www.glynbrewerton.blogspot.com

www.geofflitherland.info www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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Just how much is your car costing you?

Travelling by tram, train, bus, walking or cycling reduces congestion and CO2 emissions, helping you to do your bit for the environment www.thebigwheel.org.uk


YOU WANNA MEK SUMMAT ON IT? LeftLion’s sort-of comprehensive guide to the little city and its salt-of-the-earth folk thst will leave a lasting impression on you. And your credit card...

words: Al Needham map illustration: Alex Godwin www.alexgodwin.co.uk

The Ten Questions All Outsiders Ask About Nottingham Am I going to get shot in Nottingham? Only by us, if you carry on asking stupid questions like that. No, really - is it dangerous here? Put it this way; since the last fatal shooting in Notts over two years ago, there’s been one in Hull, Kent, Warwickshire, Bristol, Essex, Edinburgh and Stoke, two in Shropshire, three in Leeds, five in Glasgow, eight on Tyneside, ten on Merseyside, eleven in Greater Manchester and forty-six in London. So why does Nottingham have such a bad reputation? Because the media got bored of slagging off Manchester. Why do you hate Derby? Because we just do. Alright?

Is it true that there are five women for every man in Nottingham? Well if it is, there’s some get going about with ten women on his arm. No, that particular legend comes from the days when Nottingham employed a lot of women from outlying areas to work in our massive lace industry, whilst sending our menfolk to get shot at in World War I. Why are there so many people in town on a weekday? Erm, we don’t really know. We think it’s our mainly inbred cousins from Bandit Country, who put down their banjos the minute Jeremy Kyle finishes and flock into Nottingham to gape in single-toothed awe at trams and things in shop windows made from plastic.

I’m an Emo. Where do I go to peer through my fringe like Lady Di whilst feeling a bit sorry for myself? There’s a pub called the Thurland… no, seriously, the steps of the Market Square is the place to show off the cat scratches on your arms and fantasise about shagging Willow from Buffy. On a grave. Why does your castle look nothing like a proper one? Because the original was mashed down by irate locals nearly 400 years ago. We keep moaning at the Council to rebuild it as an exact replica of Castle Grayskull, but they won’t listen. Sigh. Why is your ‘N’ all wonky? Because everything in Nottingham is wonky, duck. Where can I get some drugs? We were just about to ask you that. www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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So, you’re new to town and don’t know where to live? If you learn nothing else about Nottingham, remember the following maxim: the mankier an area of Nottingham sounds, the nicer it is, and vice versa. Don’t believe us? Check this map…

Rise Park

illustration: Edward Bowness www.flickr.com/photos/edwardbowness

SOUNDS LIKE The kind of safari park people honeymoon at ACTUALLY IS Top Valley in a nicer tracksuit

Bestwood SOUNDS LIKE The magical place of refuge that the rabbits in Watership Down were trying to get to

Arnold SOUNDS LIKE A cuddly jumper-wearing uncle

ACTUALLY IS Known to media as ‘NoGo-Area Bestwood’ (even though there’s a bus service, and everything)

ACTUALLY IS A big post office, and arse all else

Wollaton

Hyson Green SOUNDS LIKE Cricketers on the square, old maids cycling to church, etc

Top Valley

ACTUALLY IS Youths in hoodies cycling on the pavement

SOUNDS LIKE Luxury ski resort where Fergie goes

SOUNDS LIKE Grim Dickensian village, littered with sheep carcasses

The Park

ACTUALLY IS Well nice and very green part of town

RELIGIOUS MILITIA GROUPS The Taliban, Hamas, those mad American bastards who live in caves in Montana waiting for World War III to start - they all ripped off the Salvation Army, invented by Sneinton lad William Booth in 1865. They used tambourines instead of rocket launchers, though.

ACTUALLY IS Massive Tesco, horrible pubs

SOUNDS LIKE …you’re sleeping on a bench, under some newspaper ACTUALLY IS The dead, dead, dead, dead, dead nice bit of town

St Anns SOUNDS LIKE Girls’ school in Enid Blyton novel ACTUALLY IS Definitely not a Girls’ school in Enid Blyton novel

Sneinton SOUNDS LIKE A bully in a Billy Bunter story (“Yaroo! Sneinton’s coming for our tuck, chaps!”)

The Meadows

ACTUALLY IS The place where bust fridges and maggot-infested sofas go to die

SOUNDS LIKE Flowery glade where Bambi and his chums skippety-skip all day

Forest Fields SOUNDS LIKE Lush green eco-haven ACTUALLY IS Where the students live

THE RALEIGH CHOPPER

Lady Bay

Greatest bike in the world ever ever EVER. So what if the second gear never worked, and you were taking five years off your fertility by constantly trapping your bollocks on the seat? Giz a kroggeh, youth.

SOUNDS LIKE Something dead rude (“I drove my cock-lorry right into her Lady Bay”) ACTUALLY IS West Bridgford’s prim and modest little sister

ACTUALLY IS Where Doom would have been set if there were PCs in the 70s

INDUSTRIALSTRENGTH WEED RACE RIOTS Bad enough that Notting Hill tried to nick our name, but they also had a copycat race riot in 1958 weeks after we had the first one in British history (in St Anns), and then they wrote loads of books about it, like Absolute Beginners. Bastards.

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In an age where most other jobs are being outscourced abroad, full marks to our industrious local farmers for reversing the trend by toiling under hot lamps in a garage in Bestwood, in order to give us all the chance to discover what a locally-sourced brain haemorrhage might feel like.

West Bridgford

BINGE DRINKING We did it first. We do it best.

SOUNDS LIKE A service station with a Wimpy and a bust House Of The Dead cabinet ACTUALLY IS The posh but quiet bit on the other side of the Trent www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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illustration: Gemma Latimer www.gemmalatimer.com

THINGS TO DO IN NOTTS BEFORE YOU GRADUATE 1. Cup the bollocks of the Robin Hood statue for a 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Made in Notts illustrations by Alexandra Campbell www.myspace.com/alexc86

photograph, in the belief that no-one else has ever done that before.

HP SAUCE Essential beans-ontoast supplement. Come round here with that Worcestershire Sauce rammell, and expect to get a panning, toff boy.

Spend an utterly futile Wednesday afternoon looking at the jobs section of the Evening Post. Learn not to piss off folk by referring to the local teams as ‘Notts Forest’ or ‘County’. Have a mushy pea fritter. In a cob. Spend twenty quid in one of our many and bountiful pound shops. Brag to your mates at home how you walk through ‘No-Go Gun Crime Capital Nottingham’ every night, even though your Uni and the bars you go to are within a 100-metre radius of your ponce-box. Know the difference between Dobby Scarecrow, Dobby Off-Ground and Dobby Killerball. Buy a pint that isn’t a) subsidised at the SU bar, b) part of a two-for-one deal, or c) half price on submission of an NUS card. A proper one, in other words.

PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL Whenever a ludicrously overpaid potato-headed moron gets into a not-at-all-gay ‘roasting’ session with his mates in a hotel or gets into a fight outside a McDonalds, he has Nottingham to thank - Notts County in 1862, and Forest in ’65 makes us the birthplace of footy for cash.

TANKS

IBUPROFEN

Whenever a totalitarian dictatorship runs over a few people in a Beijing square or shells a chicken coop in Georgia, it’s all because of Nottingham. According to legend, a local chap approached the War Office with the idea of mechanised warfare, but they thought he was being batchy. A year or so later, the first tanks were rolled out.

Yes, the alkie’s best friend was discovered in Notts by some geniuses at Boots. It was originally pitched as a treatment for rheumatoid arthritis, but then one of the developers tested it whilst suffering a minging hangover, and the rest is history.

photo: Jon Rouston

After he’s been stood behind a rotating set of decks as part of Basement Boogaloo (Nottingham’s front-rank DJ collective), Beane can be found standing in front of a revolving hunk of meat in one of Nottingham’s scores of kebab shops. This man is a city-wide authority on what’s disgusting and what’s slightly less so, and he’s run down the top ten Kebabaries in town exclusively for the Lion... 1. Istanbul

6. Tipoo

A personal fave and one for the chilled out late-night Mansfield Road crew. What elevates it far and beyond its rivals is the fact that this fine establishment cooks many of its kebabs on white-hot grills BBQ-stylee. Offering some of the tastiest food on Mansfield Road coupled with some of the best service in the city - and proper seating - this is top dog in Notts.

Big, boisterous and means business. Perfectly positioned for post-Moog missions, this place never seems to close. As an added bonus, portions can sometimes be bigger than John Holmes’ packet. Not for the Size Zero crew - book the next day off work.

Mansfield Road, next to the Golden Fleece

2. Victoria Kebab House

Mansfield Road, across the road from The Peacock A contender to take the crown from Istanbul sneaking up on the inside lane - watch ‘em go Usain Bolt-style. Never write ‘em off. The selection is strong, the sauce range is varied, and the taste lingers in your mouth long after your visit. Recommended.

3. City Kebabs

Stoney Street, next to Stone This is my old local, and despite the odd short-changing incident I can’t really fault the place. The cowboy saloon of local kebab shops (my mate got thrown through the window once in a fight outside), this gaff gets very busy and if you want a table you may need to pre-book. You must try their onion bhajies and mint sauce - a true delicacy.

4. Amigos

Pelham Street, next to the Bodega Social Club Next-level filth. That really doesn’t come dirtier. You gotta be drunk - real drunk. One for the all-dayer massive, as this gaff’s one of the only kebab joints open in the daytime so you can have lunch, tea and supper here. High fives! Expect to see things you’ve only dreamt about come 2am...

5. Royal Clay Oven

Goose Gate, next to Brownes Pure future jazz. With its old-school exterior (used to be a wireless shop way back in the day) and modern interior, this is as twenty-first century as it gets. Although it’s one of the smallest shops on the circuit, it’s a must for all spilling out of the surrounding boozers. Clean, efficient and with jolly staff you can’t really go too wrong here.

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Alfreton Road, round the corner from Moog

7. Hockley Grill

Heathcoat Street, near Revolution Pure mash-up eatery. Always entertaining in here: my mate once tried to enter sat in a shopping trolley. Friendly staff and a vibrant atmosphere always goes well with your chilli sauce. Give it a go - you won’t be disappointed...

8. Panchos

Carrington, near to The Grosvenor No mucking about on Mansfield Road. Slightly out of the way for the city centre doner ravers but worth popping in if only for their mean fish and chips as well as their bad-ass fried ribs. I’m still not sure what animal it is but if it’s a pig, they’re breeding some fuck-off massive pigs, that’s all I’m saying. Full pork up the dance, respect.

9. Food Factory

Upper Parliment Street, across the road from Oceana The Tesco of city centre kebab shops and one of the biggest gaffs in town. Believe - this place turns over some serious trade. Due to its location it’s always busy, therefore the pissed-up punter danger level can reach quite frightening proportions when the drinking concentration camp that is Oceania just opposite chucks out. My advice? Order, keep your head down and you’ll be fine.

10. Kismet Kebabs

Upper Parliment Street, next to Flares Despite being located on Upper Parliament Street - our very own version of Tenerife’s Strip - this establishment is surprisingly WELL JOLLEH. The menu may not be as exciting as others but you’ll always get a good kebab. Don’t hang about too long in here though - you wanna be in and out in under ten minutes, ideally.

www.beane.podomatic.com


MNSTR o Jager ffers Monste Vo rs

dka/ - £1.5 Tequil JD & MixRum/Gin/ 0 a/Sam er - £1 b u Doub ca/Tua.70 Becksles - £1 extrca - £1.50 Gaym Vier - £2.2 a ers pt Monste 0 see drecocktails £fr2.30 parture om £4 sb on the night oard


Everything you need to know about the greatest accent in the world TO THE OUTSIDER, the Nottingham accent might make the person speaking it sound thick, but it’s actually the most complex dialect in the UK. It draws in and absorbs speech patterns and slang from Derbyshire, Yorkshire, Lancashire and the South, then spits them back out in a concentrated stream of inflection, tone, tempo and swearing. It’s by far the most contradictory accent in the world; to speak it properly requires huge amounts of intelligence, but it makes you sound like fifty points have automatically dropped from your IQ. This is why youths on the bus constantly add the term ‘Yer get meh?’ on the end of everything they say; our dialect is so complicated, that there’s a possibility the recipient hasn’t got him at all, and he’s politely enquiring whether the message has been understood. Sadly, like all the things in the area that make Nottingham so unique (Mousetown at Goose Fair, Redmayne and Todd, Notts County in the Football League, etc), the Nottingham accent is in grave danger of being eradicated. For starters, only half of the people who grow up in Nottingham actually speak it. People who live south of the Trent sound like they come from the Home Counties, while our mouth-breathing youth think it’s clever to sound like Tim Westwood after a brain haemorrhage. Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. Follow these simple ground rules, practice them at every opportunity, and you will be appalling your parents over the Christmas dinner table with your wonderful new accent...

Illustrations: Nick Chaffe

shirt was dirty, so I went out to buy a new one’ is pronounced: ‘I wor joost abaaht ter tek a baff after wok before gooin’ dahn tahn fu the fanneh - but me shot wor dotteh, so I went aht ter gerra new’un. Saahnd as a paahnd!’

5. CALL EVERYONE ‘DUCK’ AS OFTEN AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE

1. DON’T ASSUME THAT A STANDARD NORTHERN ACCENT WILL CUT IT

4. MIX BOTH NORTHERN AND SOUTHERN ACCENTS IN THE SAME SENTENCES

We’re not North, and we’re not South. We’re Midlands. And East Midlands, at that. Attempting a standard Northern accent will get you nowhere - the Notts dialect is far too subtle for that. Attempt to wing it, and you’ll look a bell-end.

In other words, combine harsh Northern vowel sounds with drawn-out Southern ones, and then snip off a few vowels or even add new ones for good measure. It’ll take a lifetime to master it, but here are a few examples:

2. DON’T BOTHER TRYING TO LEARN IT OFF THE TELLY Fact: 99% of all ‘Nottingham’ accents on programmes and films are ludicrously off-base. Albert Finney tried to busk his way through Saturday Night and Sunday Morning with a Manc accent. That little youth off EastEnders was eternally stuck in Yorkshire during the entire run of A Thing Called Love. Kevin Costner was literally laughed out of the Odeon during the UK premiere of Prince of Thieves.

3. REPLACE WORDS THAT END IN ‘Y’ AND ‘IE’ WITH ‘EH’ If you do nothing else, do this. All the time. It’s the absolute fulcrum of the Notts accent. You never go to Rock City to watch a buttonfaced ponce drag out the fifteenth minute of his undeserved fame; you go to Rock Citeh to see Pete Docherteh. Your best mate is not called Julie; she’s Juleh. You’re not studying at a place of Higher Learning; you’re at Uneh. Quite possibly doing a Joint Honours in Istreh and Sociologeh. Maybe living in Strelleh. Doing a part-time job in ‘Ockleh to mek some extra munneh so you can afford a season ticket at Notts Caanteh. The Nottingham version of ‘The Rain In Spain Lies Mainly On The Plain’ is ‘Toneh Adleh Aht Ter Spandaah Balleh’. Repeat it, in the mirror, at least five times before going out in the morning.

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Northern

Notts

Southern

Up (‘Oop’) Bath (‘Baff’) Just (‘Joost’) Must (‘Moost’)

Shirt (‘Shot’) Work (‘Wok’) Home (‘Om) Take (‘Tek’)

Down (‘Daahn’) Out (‘Aht’) Sound (‘Saahnd’) Town (’Taahn’)

Ergo, a sentence such as ‘I was about to have a bath before going to town in an attempt to find a new girlfriend, but realised my

Seriously. One of the greatest things about living in Notts is that you can call everyone - from a rabidly feminist barmaid to the maddest-looking bloke on he bus - ‘Duck’, and completely get away with it. It’s the de facto term of endearment that transcends age, gender, sexual preference, class, race and even species. If you know someone really well, you can even call ‘em ‘Duckeh’ and no-one will bat an eyelid.

6. MALES: CALL YOUR PEERS ‘YOUTH’, REGARDLESS OF AGE The second most important term of endearment in Notts. Mainly deployed amongst males, it can be used regardless of age. One of the most tear-jerking things you will ever see in Nottingham is two hard-looking bastards in their forties referring to each other in a pub as ‘Youth’ and ‘Duck’.

7. LADIES: SCREECHING ‘OOWERRR!’ VERY LOUDLY IN A RISING AND FALLING INFLECTION AUTOMATICALLY WINS ANY ARGUMENT 8. REPLACE WORDS THAT END IN ‘OLD’ WITH ‘ODE’

So, if the windows in your shared house are a bit ode, you might be really code come winter. The exception to the rule is ‘gold’. Toneh Adleh Aht Ter Spandaah Balleh never sang ‘Gode’, because that would have sounded well Dezzeh.

9. STRETCH AS MANY ONESYLLABLE WORDS AS POSSIBLE INTO TWO This is for advanced students of the dialect, but it’s worth experimenting with as early as possible. For example; Where do your socks go? On your Fee-urt. What do you need to record a television show when you have no recordable DVD player? A Tay-up. Sometimes it works: sometime it doesn’t.

10. REPLACE WORDS THAT END IN ‘A’ AND ‘ER’ WITH ‘ARR’ Again, for the extremely advanced only, and mainly deployed by women; ‘I saw Nanarr fighting with Tanyarr on Trisharr over a lie detectarr’.


10% discount on production of an NUS card until 13th November 2008


LEFTLION LISTINGS OCTOBER-NOVEMBER 2008

Consider this boom time for going out in Nottingham. If you like clubbing and live music, the next two months are the best time of year for gigs, club nights and live performances around the city. This season all the promoters pull in their biggest names and the venues are all hives of activity. So if you’re looking for options of where to spend your evening, you’ll have plenty of choice.

GOOSEH! Goose Fair takes place from 1-4 October. If you like fairground rides and candy floss then be sure to check out this event on the Forest Recreation Ground which has been running for over 700 years! Entrance is free, but rides will set you back between £2-5 a pop. A go on the hook-a-duck is usually a couple of quid and mushy peas (Nottingham’s gourmet dish) are around a paahnd!

GFBUVSFE MJTUJOH

I’M A HUSTLER, BABY! Hockley Hustle is returning to take over the streets of the city centre on Sunday 5 October. Now in its third successive year the creative arts and music festival will be bringing together the finest promoters and live acts our city has to offer across thirteen venues. Paul Klotschkow picks out his top ten acts of the event...

You Slut!

Cuban Crimewave

Easily one of the best bands in Nottingham. If you’ve never seen them before, use this as an opportunity to right that wrong and head upstairs at The Bodega Social to catch what is bound to be one of the sets of the festival. Just like their name suggests, You Slut! don’t care what anyone thinks about them. Instead they just want to blow you away and destroy whatever your previously held perceptions of music were with their melodic, noisy, angular postrock ear assaults. See our review of their new album on page 45.

The twin bass assault of Cuban Crimewave is likely to tear you a new arsehole. Scuzzy and gloriously sleazy, hit up the gothic surrounds of the Pit and Pendulum and immerse yourself head-first in their brand of experimental punk. Cuban Crimewave are what would have happened if Lemmy had ever fronted the Ramones.

Bodega Social, 5.30pm www.myspace.com/youslut1

PG 31 ∙ GIGS Touring bands and artists playing this season include; Enter Shikari, Seasick Steve, Queen and Paul Rodgers, The Hold Steady, Roots Manuva (see box on page 32), The Streets, The Brand New Heavies, James Blunt, Towers of London, Feeder, Hanoi Rocks, MGMT, Rancid, Less Than Jake, Death Cab For Cutie, Billy Bragg, Primal Scream, Paul Weller and, erm McFly..

Foncheros The Foncheros have been around for a while on the local scene and there is a reason for that - they’re totally ace! If you need a breather from the loud in-your-face rawk that’s happening upstairs in the Social, then just take the short walk downstairs where these will definitely massage your ears back to full fitness. Think a heady mixture of soul, jazz, country and classic rock topped off with a drizzle of that special Nottingham class. Bodega Social, 8.30pm www.myspace.com/foncheros

The Elementz and Karizma

PG 40 ∙ COMEDY Comedy fans will be delighted by live appearances by Dylan Moran, Steve Coogan, The Mighty Boosh and the return of Just The Tonic Comedy Club to The Approach (see box on page 42). Acts playing at JTT include Brendon Burns, Jeff Green, Phil Kay, Richard Herring and many more.

PG 32 & 37 LEFTLION LIVE After three fun years at the Orange Tree, we’ve moved our very own live music night to the relaunched Brownes in Hockley. Every third Friday of the month, LeftLion puts on the best musical talent in Nottingham - and it’s absolutely free to get in! Find out more about Spaceships Are Cool (see page 32) and Polymath (page 37), who play, for us and you, in October and November.

Ohmygosh Records are in control of things at Stone, and that can only mean one thing; you can expect nothing but a class slice of Notts hip-hop. They’ve put together such a tasty line-up (which includes two DMC champions in the place) that I’m shaking just thinking about how good it’s going to be. One of the highlights out of many has to be production maestros The Elementz collaborating with Karizma, one of Notts best wordsmiths. Expect slick lyricism over tight beats. Stone, 7.00pm www.myspace.com/elementzuniverse

Love Ends Disaster! Spiky, nervy, edgy, and melodic new-wave will be hitting up Bunkers Hill when these chaps step on to the stage. Definitely one of the brightest hopes in a long time to come out of Nottingham. X-FM love them, Fuzz TV love them, and once you’ve seen them, you will love them. Intelligent indie rock that won’t bore you in the slightest, unlike all those Libertines clones that have a habit of clogging up the charts. See you down the front. Bunkers Hill, 6.45pm www.myspace.com/loveendsdisaster

Jezz Hall If you’ve spent half the day standing up and craning your neck, being elbowed in the back by all and sundry, whilst trapped in a sweatbox that passes as a venue when it more closely resembles Broadmoor Mental Hospital, then let this be the perfect antidote. You may not be able to sit down, but at least you can chill with a smoothie or herbal tea, and let the folk musings of Jezz Hall soothe your battle wounds. Lee Rosy’s, 4.30pm www.myspace.com/jezzhall

For even more listings, check our regularly updated online section at leftlion.co.uk/listings. And if your event is still not in there, spread the word by aiming your browser at leftlion.co.uk/add. 320

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Yunioshi The perfect pop band. They’re as catchy as hell, have indecipherable lyrics, always have a cheeky glint in their eyes, and they make you want to dance like wanno. Think Beck dry humping the Flaming Lips with the robot from Lost In Space looking on and filming all the action for his own personal collection. Get your groove on to these and if you are lucky they will give you a piece of cake. Perfect. Dogma, 5.30pm www.myspace.com/yunioshi

Pit and Pendulum, 9.00pm www.myspace.com/cubancrimewave

O Lovely Lie Aside from the novelty of going for a wazz behind a ‘bookcase’, another reason for hanging around the Pit and Pendulum is to catch Nottingham’s premier alt-rockers. O Lovely Lie create a wall of fuzzy guitars and pounding drums that transport you to a Robert Smith afterworld. So smudge your eyeliner, don your Doc Martins and bask in their gothic delights. Pit and Pendulum, 9.45pm www.olovelylie.co.uk

Transit Mafia If you are a DnB-head then you can’t go wrong by dragging yourself along to the recently refurbished Brownes to catch local favourite, Transit Mafia. Often found DJing at Detonate’s various nights (not least because he runs them all), alongside recent sessions at Londons Fabric, here he is going to get the dancefloor shaking as part of Finger Lickin’ Records 10th Anniversary, so expect nothing less than a dance-fuelled orgy of bass, beats and drums. Finger-licking good! Brownes, 1.00am www.myspace.com/transitmafia

The Hot Club If you’re a jazz-head then you need to get yourself down to Escucha, which is where I think I’ll be for most of the day. Chilling with friends with a drink or two and some genius music to soundtrack it all; what more could you ask for on a Sunday? It’s hard to pick a highlight, but gypsy-jazz kings The Hot Club are worth checking out, even if it is just to gasp in awe at their fingerpicking prowess which is enough to make any young aspiring guitarist want to give up there and then. Escucha, 4.00pm www.myspace.com/hotclubtrio Hockley Hustle, various venues, Sunday 5 October, noon-4am. £5 adv / £7 on doors. All times are approximate. www.hockleyhustle.co.uk

AT BROADWAY LeftLion are chuffed to be hosting the Broadway bar on the day and have grand plans to bring to life one of the most individual and creative spaces in Nottingham. Music will be playing throughout the day with acoustic acts in the main bar whilst our line-up will include some of the best established and up and coming Notts acts of the moment. Natalie Duncan (a hotly tipped 19 year-old) will sing alongside live saxophone. LeftLion favourites Fists will bring their own brand of quirkiness to the show and Papa La Bas, an electronic act currently signed to Basilica Music, will inject some of the crisp production they are best known for. Origamibiro and The Joy Of Box will finish off the night, fresh from the Big Chill festival and riding on the success of his debut album Cracked Mirrors and Stopped Clocks. On the terrace, DJ collective Yeah I’ll Play It Later will be playing a range of broken-beat, soul, funk, disco, reggae and rockabilly alongside LeftLion DJs. Join us for a day to remember!


nottingham event listings... Wednesday 01/10

Saturday 04/10

Dragonforce Rock City £14, 7pm

CULT - DJ Lee Muse £4 / £6, 10pm - 3am Plus DJ Priceless, Mouse and Houghmeister, MC Juma Phist and MC Anger.

Sonic Boom Six Junktion 7 £8 / £10, 7.30pm - 12am Plus Chris Murray, The JB Conspiracy and Chief. Balanescu Quarter Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm

Pure Filth Marcus Garvey Ballroom £8 / £10, 10pm - 6am With The Advent (live), Rowland the Bastard, Small Paul, Filthy Dom and Mark Seavers. See right.

Sugar Free Eleven Free, 9pm - 3am With residents Nick Lawson, Chamboche, Ben Start and guests.

Britny Fox Rock City £9, 6.30pm Plus Pretty Boy Floyd, Bulletboys and more.

Rod Picot The Maze £10 adv, 7.30pm

The Automatic The Rescue Rooms £11, 7pm

Thursday 02/10

Basslaced The Bodega Social Club £5, 10:45pm With DJ Hatcha and Geiom.

The Ambassadors The Golden Fleece Free, 9pm Live Thursdays The Loft Free, 8pm With The Amber Herd, Triad, Solomon Smith and Levity. Dogma Presents: HeavyFeet Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am

Islands and Malakai The Bodega Social Club £8, 7pm Joglaresa Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 7.30pm

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

TECHNO PRISONERS

Pure Filth unleash The Advent and Rowland the Bastard upon Lenton A quick and filthy history lesson: in 1997 a group of likeminded DJs and promoters got together and established the Dagobah Soundsystem, specialising in acid and dancefloor techno. Dagobah nights ran in venues such as the now infamous Skyy club and the Garvey, taking their sound to thousands of raving punters. Since then their affiliated live acts and DJs have played in countries like Holland, Czech Republic and Hungary. In 2000 Dagobah evolved into Pure Filth. Gaining a strong reputation for serious parties the Pure Filth boys have since booked some of the biggest the names techno has to offer, with Dave the Drummer, the Liberators (Chris, Aaron and Julian) and Neil Landstrom all passing through. For those in the know part of the appeal has always been the quality of the sound behind the reigns. On Saturday 4 October The Advent will descend upon the Marcus Garvey Ballroom in Lenton for one of their biggest nights to date. Releasing his first track back in 1988, Cisco Ferreira was a pioneer of the live PA and has produced on just about every label worth noting. In support will be Rowland the Bastard, a stalwart of the acid techno scene who has released on labels Bionic Orange and Infected. If you like your techno this will quickly become one of your favourite nights out in Nottingham. Check it!

Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 9pm - 4am Style Of Eye, Andy George, DJ Hal, A Human (live), Chamboche, Made You Look DJ’s and S.P.A.M in The Red Room.

Monday 06/10

Thursday 09/10

Friday 10/10

The log Jam The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am

Iglu and Hartly The Rescue Rooms £7, 7.30pm

Open Decks and Open Caves The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am

Kissy Sellout Stealth Free, 9pm Santero, Newmano, Thoughtless Hussies, Obstacle One and more.

Basement Boogaloo - DJ Domu The Maze £5, 10pm Plus residents Ed and Nick.

Bromheads Jacket Stealth £9, 7.30pm Plus Let’s Wrestle.

Live Thursdays The Loft Free, Starts 8pm With Jupiter Monkeys, aMiFuBa, Bouncing Wall and Paul Spry.

Sunday 05/10

Red Escucha £3 before 11pm, 10pm - 2.30am

Performance Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

James Blunt Nottingham Arena £32.50, 6.30pm doors Plus Teddy Thompson.

Friday 03/10

The Hold Steady Rock City £14, 7.30pm

Stuckmojo Junktion 7 £8 / £11, 7.30pm - 12am Vendetta, Death Valey Piledriver and Engines of Armageddon. IMS Prussia Cove Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 7.30pm

Fromage Funk The Loggerheads Free, 8.30pm –late With Karen Fairy Pants and Bobby Dazzler. Get Well Soon The Bodega Social Club £7, 7pm Fundraiser for Kids with Leukaemia The Maze £4ish, 8.30pm

Ocean Bottom Nightmare Junktion 7 £3 / £4, 7.30pm - 12am Plus Xmas Lights ,Thousands of Reflections and Don Bronco. Hockley Hustle 2008 Various Locations £5 / £7, 12pm - 4am See our feature to the left! Preston Reed The Maze £10, 8pm

BAND ON THE RUM

Nottingham’s favourite bands talk about their favourite venues Yunioshi and The Maze “The Maze is the Kinder egg of Nottingham. The first surprise is the hefty selection of booze on offer. The second is what lurks behind the bar - a room twice the size and full of the musty odours of Rock. It’s a great place to play; the sound is spot-on. There’s also a little secret room at the back if you feel shy, embarrassed or just want some of that good old-fashioned groupie action we’ve heard so much about.” The Maze, 270 North Sherwood Street, www.themazerocks.com / www.myspace.com/yunioshi

Saturday 4 October 10pm-6am at the Marcus Garvey Ballroom. Tickets £8 from Selectadisc and £10 on the door. www.talktofilth.com.

Monday Mayhem! The Maze £1 / £2, 8pm With Social Approach, Bouncing Wall, Pegasus Bridge and One Moment. Daedelus Brownes Free, 7.30pm

Tuesday 07/10 Acoustic Tuesdays The Malt Cross Free, 9pm - 11pm With Chris Tye and support.

Dogma Presents: Lynx Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am Richie Muir Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Seasick Steve Rock City £17.50, 6.30pm Natty The Rescue Rooms £8, 7pm The Spinto Band The Bodega Social Club £8, 7pm Peter Donohoe Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 7.30pm Tiny Tin and Samual Kirk The Maze £7 adv, 7.30pm

Hot Club De Paris The Bodega Social Club £7.50, 8pm

Friday 10/10

Eric Taylor The Maze £10 adv, 7.30pm

The Amplifires Nottingham Castle 6pm - 8pm

Wednesday 08/10

Glamour of The Kill Rock City £6, 7pm

Blitzen Trapper The Bodega Social Club £7.50, 7pm Plus Absentee. Thalia Zedek The Maze £9, 7.30pm Jehst (live) Brownes Free (with Detonate wristband) / £5 adv, 7.30pm Sugar Free Eleven Free, 9pm - 3am

Maps and Atlases The Rescue Rooms £7, 7pm dollop and Annie Mac Presents Stealth £10, 10pm - 5am Plus Fake Blood, South Rakkas Crew and Kidda. Lovvers The Chameleon Cafe Bar £4 / £5, 8pm Plus The Shitty Limits, Spin Spin The Dogs and The Dissolutes.

Terrafolk! and Apples for Faces The Maze £6, 9pm

Saturday 11/10 Sticky Morales Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 3am With Jojo de Freq, Dave Congreve, Take, Nosaj Thing, Lone, Deejaysnigger, Keaver, Brause and Windows78. The Swiines Junktion 7 £4 / £5, 8pm - 2am Plus The Turf, Sgt Wolfbanger and The Essentials. Kala Chethena Kathakali Company Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Psycle: Heaven or Hell BluePrint £5, 10pm - 5am Optimus Prime, Petran, Dark Angel, Shodan, Strawberry Jam, Chilly, Silent Sound, Endless, Mattlab, Tricky1, Cross-Wired, Randy Marsh, Lobes, Jah Bundy, Minister Hill and Nowhere Common. The Go Go vs Mufti Fancy Dress The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am Prizes for the best dress. Mindvox Presents The Maze £4, 8pm Elm Bank, Addictive Philosophy, Original Dave Band and more.

Sunday 12/10 S.P.A.M! The Ropewalk Free, 6pm - 12am leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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event listings... Sunday 12/10

Wednesday 15/10

Detonate All Dayer Rock City and Rescue Rooms £16 + bf, 2pm - 2.30am Roots Manuva (live), Chase and Status present ‘More than a lot’ featuring Plan B and Riko, Andy C and MC GQ, Marky and Dynamite MC, Magnetic Man (live) featuring Skream, Benga and Artwork, Plastic Little (live), Imperial Leisure (live), Graffiti Jam, live illustration, BBQ and loads more. See our feature to the right for more information.

Holy Fuck The Bodega Social Club £8, 7pm

Aiden The Rescue Rooms £12.50, 7pm

Anni Rossi Lee Rosy’s Tea Shop £6, 7.30pm Pop, Bubble, Rock! Junktion 7 £4, 8pm - 2am The Tom Waits Project Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Skaville and Surplus The Maze £5, 7.30pm With Autonomads, Bloody Chaos, Ambush UK and more.

The Bodega Ball The Bodega Social Club £8, 8pm With Esser, Micachu, Detroit Social Club, Mystery Jets (DJs) and more.

Thursday 16/10

The Aliens Stealth £12.50, 7.30pm

Maxfield and Made of Leaves The Golden Fleece Free, 9pm

University Philharmonia Lakeside Arts Centre £4 / £5 / £8, 7.30pm

Push The Punk The Old Angel £3, 8pm - 11pm With Tatako, The Dagobah 4, The Rutherfords and ASBO Peepshow.

Monday 13/10 Nebula Rock City £10, 7.30pm Jeremy Warmsley The Bodega Social Club £7, 8pm CSS The Bodega Social Club £12.50, 7pm Monday Mayhem! The Maze £1 / £2, 8pm With Little Courage, Euler, The Syndicate and RockMotion.

Tuesday 14/10 Acoustic Tuesdays The Malt Cross Free, 9pm 11pm Ryan Lauder and support. Stacey Earle and Mark Stuart The Maze £10, 7.30pm

Wednesday 15/10 One Night Only Rock City £10.50, 7.30pm

Spaceships Are Cool is really one man: Rob Maddison, He plays everything himself on the recorded stuff, but when he’s performing onstage he brings a whole live band along. He’s also the drummer in Yunioshi. It’s been a difficult year for him after a serious injury, but now he’s back back doing what he does best, including a session for us on Friday 17 October at LeftLion’s new monthly party Brownes bar... What have you been up to recently? The band just started playing together again after I suffered a spinal injury which meant six months in hospital. We kicked off again with a live acoustic session for BBC Radio Nottingham. Also, I played drums as my alter-ego for Yunioshi at The Maze. It was my first gig back now I’m in a wheelchair and so was a bit scary, but we rocked! What are you listening to at the moment? A Swedish band called Little Dragon, their sound is just amazing. Also the Sticky Situation LP by Icelandic electro outfit Bloodgroup. We’ll

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Dogma Presents: Michael Morph Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am Radar With Operahouse The Bodega Social Club £3, 9pm Eliot Minor NTU Union £12, 7pm

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

DETONATE -THE ALL DAYER The Detonate events at Rock City have become well known and loved in Notts, with every square inch of floor bearing witness to dancing feet. Stepping up from their usual format and throwing the Rescue Rooms into the equation, they host their first all-dayer on Sunday 12 October, beginning at 2pm and stretching through the night. Acts on the night include a live set from the constantly innovative and exciting Roots Manuva touring his Slime and Reason album and dubstepper Magnetic Man cramming together enormous tunes like Benga’s Night and 26 Basslines. Chase and Status have just released their debut LP on Ram Records and take to the Rock City stage accompanied by UK hiphop star Plan B and Roll Deep’s Riko, while their label manager Andy C (aka The Executioner) will also be there to put on a DnB display as only he knows how. Plastic Little are trying to bring the fun back into hiphop, as well as offering a biting critique of society to go along with their own brand of party music and Imperial Leisure are a ten-piece energy ball complete with a live brass section, keyboards, DJ, two MCs and smooth vocals. The uber-funky Brazilian DJ Marky will be on the turntables as well as plenty more acts on the night. Check their website for more details. Rock City and the Rescue Rooms, Sunday 12 October, 2pm – 2.30am, Tickets £16. www.detonate1.co.uk

Friday 17/10

Saturday 18/10

Monday 20/10

You Me At Six The Rescue Rooms £9, 6pm

Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth £5, 10.15pm With Worthy, Drop The Lime, Matt Tolfrey, You Love Her Coz She’s Dead (live) and Made You Look DJs in The Red Room.

Rockstar Taste of Chaos Rock City £17.50, 6.30pm featuring Atreyu, Story Of the Year, As I lay Dying, Mucc and special guests

Team Waterpolo The Bodega Social Club £6, 7pm

My Ruin Junktion 7 £10 adv, 7.30pm - 12am Plus Illuminatus, Speed Theory and Sanctorum.

Evil Nine (live) Stealth £8, 10pm Plus Alex Metric, Get Physical: Full Body Workout tour, Heidi, Jona and Williams.

Invasion - Nic Nell The Orange Tree Free, 8pm – late

Six By Seven and The Kull Junktion 7 £6.50 / £7, 8pm

Friday 17/10

Bison The Maze £6, 9pm

LeftLion Brownes Free, 8pm - 1am With Spaceships are Cool (see below), XS:IF The Hiphop Disciple and Stiff Kittens DJs. Towers of London Rock City £9, 7pm

Saturday 18/10 Lobotomy Fancy Dress Marcus Garvey Ballroom £8 / £10 / £12, 10pm - 6am With Remarc, DJ Producer, Bong Ra, Shitmat, Jahba, Neo-Tokyo Def Squad.

Spaceships are cool

hopefully be gigging with them in Reykjavik soon! Tell us about one of your songs and what inspired you to write it… City Rooftops is usually the opening song of our live set and, like with many of our songs, it tells a story about people being together. It’s loosely set in Copenhagen, a guy befriends a girl living in his apartment block and they keep passing each other on the stairwell. She finally plucks up the courage to ring him and they arrange a nighttime rendezvous on the roof of their block, its the start of everything for them.

LEFTLION AT BROWNES FRI 17 OCTOBER SPACESHIPS ARE COOL, XS:IF THE HIPHOP DISCIPLE AND THE STIFF KITTENS

Best gig you’ve ever played? The best spaceships gig was at a tiny Soho venue called The Black Gardenia, which only holds thirty punters. It was a really beautiful little show. What’s your ideal night out in Nottingham? Some fine tea at Lee Roseys, then over the road to the Broadway for some food and a film (it’s one of the only cinemas where you don’t have to be right at the front if you’re in a wheelchair). www.myspace.com/ spaceshipsarecool2

Noodle is Two Moog Free, 8pm - 4am With Luke’s Anger (live), Miles, Spandex (live), Solen (live), Tappeto Grande (live), M0dular Matt (live), Mark Allen, Ally Reilly and Matt Hinton.

Cheeky Cheeky and The Nosebleeds The Bodega Social Club £6, 8pm Monday Mayhem! The Maze £1 / £2, 8pm Divides The Day, Helsinki Seven, Starscreen and The Black Fuzz.

The Streets Rock City £17.50, 6.30pm

Tuesday 21/10

The Bishops Junktion 7 £5, 8pm - 2am Plus The Fakers and The Limits.

Acoustic Tuesdays The Malt Cross Free, 9pm - 11pm With Chris McDonald’s new band.

Shichiseikai Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 7.30pm

Kids in Glass Houses The Rescue Rooms £9, 7pm

Depraved (DnB) Igloo £5 / £7, 10pm - 3am With Zero T, Jordan V, Synic, Dubley and Jax, Dread MC and Yons MC.

NTU RockSoc Junktion 7 £1, 9pm - late Assault vs Piracy vs Subversion.

Roadblock The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am

Zebrahead Rock City £10, 7.30pm

Smokescreen The Maze £5, 10pm

Bring Me The Horizon Rock City £12, 7.30pm

Sunday 19/10

JME The Rescue Rooms £8.50, 7pm

Buster Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Brand New Heavies Rock City £14, 7.30pm Becky Syson The Maze £5, 7pm Plus Andy Whittle and Make A Halo.

Monday 20/10 Official Secret Skins Party The Rescue Rooms and Stealth £10 / £15, 9pm - 3am

Wednesday 22/10

Johnny Flynn The Bodega Social Club £8, 7pm Plus Amy LaVere. Uplifting Roots Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Don Ross and Andy Mckee The Maze £12, 7.30pm Yesking Brownes £3 adv, 7.30pm


proud Nottingham City Council

Goose Fair Nottingham

to present

Forest Recreation Ground Wednesday 1 October, 5.30pm - 11pm Thursday 2 October, 12noon - 11pm Friday 3 October, 11am - 11.30pm Saturday 4 October, 11am - 11pm

For further information call: 0844 477 5678 www.nottinghamgoosefair.co.uk

*Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer.


event listings... Thursday 23/10

Saturday 25/10

David Blazye The Golden Fleece Free, 9pm Plus Bonsai Projects.

Glenn Tilbrook and The Fluffers The Rescue Rooms £15, 7pm

Live Thursdays The Loft Free, Starts 8pm With Fallen Skies, The Rutherfords, Mannix and DISCOVietnam. Dogma Presents: Utah Saints Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am Robbo Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Baddies Rock City £3, 10pm Radar with Creeping Nobodies The Bodega Social Club £3, 9pm Filthy Dukes Stealth £3, 10pm Frontiers Junktion 7 Free, 8pm - late Plus Vava and The Sabateurs. Allegri String Quartet Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 7.30pm Chas ‘n’ Dave The Maze £17.50, 7.30pm Performing their last ever tour.

Friday 24/10 Detonate Stealth £10 adv, 10pm - 5am With Friction, Marcus Intalex, Break, Foreign Beggars (live), Digital Mystikz, Transit Mafia, Strike and Benko, Detail, Furious P and MCs SP, I.D and Freestyle. Raging Speedhorn Junktion 7 £6 / £8, 8pm - 2am Plus The Mirimar Disaster and Take a Work for a Walk Week.

Station Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Red Light Company The Bodega Social Club £5, 8pm Resolution Sounds Presents The Maze £5, 8.30pm Random Hand, Girlfixer, Mike TV, Minus Society and VFA.

Monday 27/10 Feeder Rock City £22.50, 7.30pm Monday Mayhem! The Maze £1 / £2, 8pm With None So Blind, Ruberlaris, The Souvenirs and The Turning Worms.

Tuesday 28/10 Acoustic Tuesdays The Malt Cross Free, 9pm - 11pm With Apples For Faces and support Funeral for a Friend Rock City £15, 6.30pm The Black Seeds The Rescue Rooms £9, 7.30pm Halloween Liars Club The Bodega Social Club £6, 8pm With A.R.E, Weapons, Selfish C**t, Ulterior and Liars Club DJs.

Yeah I’ll Play It Later The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1.30am

Wednesday 29/10

Ronnie London’s Groove Lounge Grosvenor £3, 8pm - 1am

Katie Melua Nottingham Arena £28.50 Gemma Ray The Rescue Rooms £6, 7.30pm Plus Trost. Last Gang The Bodega Social Club £5, 7pm

Joe Strange Band The Approach Free, 8pm

Pop, Bubble, Rock! Junktion 7 £4, 9.30pm - 2am

LoveZoo Gatecrasher £6 / £8 / £10, 10pm - 4am The return of Nottingham’s Biggest House Night. Expect Glamour, Glitter and down right Dirty Beats.

Deadstring Brothers The Maze £10, 7.30pm Plus Two Fingers of Firewater.

Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 3am With Christian Martin, Mowgli, James Yuell (live), Ben Start, Made You Look DJs and more. Firefest 5 Rock City £49, 12pm Runs until: 26/10

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It doesn’t cost Arm and Leg

Set into the back of the caves on Derby Road, the Hand and Heart is a homely old-school pub and restaurant. Ornately finished in dark wood and forking into two vaulted caverns, they serve a range of tasty food and the bar is stocked with a wide choice of wines and champagnes, as well as beers from ten local breweries.

Sunday 26/10

Easy Star All Stars The Maze £15, 9pm Plus Ed Rome (The Big).

Saturday 25/10

Hand and Heart

Exalt Exalt The Bodega Social Club £5, 10pm With Sally Shapiro and Johan Agbjorn.

Demo BluePrint 9pm - late

Weekend Warriors The Maze 7.30pm

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Crazy P (live) Brownes £7 adv, 7.30pm

Thursday 30/10 Live Thursdays The Loft Free, 8pm With Scarlets Wake, Satan’s Minions, Fabonacci and Mr Syd Rhythm.

Upstairs the gallery provides a sociable and eclectic environment for the exhibition of contemporary art. They specialise in fine art, film, video and photography, as well as hosting live music, lectures and workshops. Look out for a busy programme of events and exhibitions spanning a wide variety of cultural interests, including Joe’s Musical Circus, a sonic showcase every Wednesday, with solo guitarist Mr Plow scheduled in for 15 October. With live jazz on Tuesdays, screenings of old and new skateboarding videos, an experimental music night on Fridays and Psychedelia on Saturday, eclecticism is certainly not lacking from their repertoire. Check out their current show, an impressive array of drawings, prints, collage and sculpture from two talented local artists, until 13 October. Hand and Heart, 65 Derby Road, Nottingham, NG1 5BA www.handandheartgallery.com

Thursday 30/10

Friday 31/10

Saturday 01/11

Dogma Presents: Rico Tubbs Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am

Hoodoo Stealth 8pm - 4am Japanese Popstars, Hybrid, Lee Coombs and more.

Pure Filth BluePrint £6, 10pm - 3am Bill Youngman (live), Mark Hawkins, Filthy Dave and more.

Halloween Party The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am

Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 3am

Skalloween Special! The Maze £5 (fancy dress) / £8, 8.30pm Hotknives, Resonators, Dirty Revolution and Liam O’Kane.

The Log Jam The Loggerheads

Tom Wardle Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Hammel On Trial The Bodega Social Club £10, 7pm Mystery Jets NTU Union £11, 8pm Das Wanderlust Junktion 7 £6, 8pm - 12am Florilegium Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 7.30pm The Jet Boys The Maze £4, 8pm Plus Model Morning, Tabloid Love and Vaarlets.

Friday 31/10 Black Kids NTU Union £10, 7pm Shocksteady - The Halloween Ska Party! BluePrint £5, 9pm - 3am Lunchout, Jack The Ripper, Pinch Penny, Peter Purvis, Babylon Girl and bands tbc. Frank Turner The Rescue Rooms £8, 7pm Longhorne Slim The Bodega Social Club £6, 7pm Halloween Special! Junktion 7 £5, 8pm - 2am With Patchwork Grace, Drugdealer Cheerleader, Dangerfields and Obsessive:Compulsive. Spectrum Halloween Gatecrasher £8 / £10 / motd, 10pm - 4am Stanton Warriors, Aim, Bonobo, Micky Slim, Pete Jordan, Hexadecimal, Club Foot Soundsystem and Dave Boultbee.

Basement Boogaloo The Maze £5, 10pm

DAYS OUT Ahh, autumn. The snap in the air, the crackle of bonfires, the pop of fireworks; wrapping your woollies around you to go gathering conkers and returning home to hot pie and mulled wine. Actually, that sounds just like the rubbish summer we’ve just had. Ah well, at least the following free (or cheap-and-worth-it) events might put a bit of warmth in your cockles… Seed Hunt Sunday A very cute idea this: collect an acorn fallen from the Major Oak, take it away, plant it, and when it is ready (in a year or two) bring it back to be planted in Sherwood Forest. Be part of the legend… Sunday 5 October, 11am to 12pm and 2 to 3pm, Sherwood Forest Visitor Centre. Robin Hood Pageant Step back in time to relive the life and times of the city’s most famous legend. No, not swearing your way across the City Ground, the other legend. Throughout the weekend the Castle and its greens will be transformed into a medieval village encampment, with musicians, entertainers, craft stalls and traditional activities such as live jousting action, falconry displays and supping in a medieval alehouse.Saturday 25 and Sunday 26 October, Nottingham Castle. CAMRA Robin Hood Beer Festival At its new home following the closure of the Victoria Baths, this beloved annual fixture will feature over four hundred quality real ales, many from local breweries, and over ninety traditional ciders and wines as well as live music at the bandstand each evening. Highly recommended by the Lion team – so much so that it’s being profiled here despite being strictly for the grown-ups and having an entrance fee: £3.50 before

5pm and a fiver afterwards. Nottingham Castle, Thursday 9 to Saturday 11 October, 11am to 11pm. Giant Autumn Collage For those with little families, help make a giant collage with an autumn theme. Using stencils, found objects, rubbings and printing, and suitable for two year olds and up. Bring your kiddies, or at least stand close to someone else’s (you have a rep to protect, right?), and get covered in paint and potato juice. I know I will. Yard Gallery, Wollaton Hall, Sunday 2 November, 1 to 3pm Remembrance 90 It’s now ninety years since the end of the ‘Great War’, and the BBC are inviting local people to add their family’s First World War History to their virtual Remembrance Wall. Experts will be on hand to help out, and there will be various family activities going on as well. Lest we forget… Nottingham Castle, Saturday 8 November 2008, 11am to 3pm. The Start of Christmas 2008 No doubt many of us will already have festive fatigue by this time, but those who love all things crimble should get themsens down the Square for the launch of this year’s activities which will include the Christmas Lights switch on and the first day of the German Market from where, as always, you’ll be able to get confectionary, cookies, gingerbread, smoked sausages, traditional arts, crafts, lanterns, waffles, mulled wine and more right up until 21st December.Old Market Square, Wednesday 19 November 2008, market opens at 7am, evening event from 6pm to 9pm



event listings... Sunday 02/11

Thursday 06/11

Fleet Foxes NTU Union £12, 7.30pm

An Evening With Dan Reed Rock City £15, 7.30pm

Toxic Federation The Maze £4, 8pm With The Moonwhiskey Soul Jam,The Pepper Box, 13th Hour and Dawson.

Radar With Viva Machine The Bodega Social Club £3, 9pm

Monday 03/11 Martha Wainwright Rock City £16, 7.30pm Peggy Sue and The Pirates The Rescue Rooms £7, 7pm Plus Jay Jay Postolet and Derek Meins.

Tuesday 04/11 Acoustic Tuesdays The Malt Cross Free, 9pm - 11pm Laura Marling The Rescue Rooms £12, 7pm The Research The Bodega Social Club £6, 7.30pm Nels Andrew The Maze 7.30pm

Wednesday 05/11 Kris Ward The Approach Free, 8pm The Aggrolites The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm Annotations of an Autopsy Junktion 7 £5, 7.30pm - 12am

Thursday 06/11 Satnams Tash The Golden Fleece Free, 9pm

The Eggner Trio Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 7.30pm Invasion The Orange Tree Free, 8pm – Late

Friday 07/11 Roy De‘Wired The Approach Free, 8pm Corenivore Junktion 7 £4, 10pm - 2am Mnstr Gatecrasher £10 adv, 10pm - 4am Pendulum DJ set, Transit Mafia, Pete Jordan and more. Art Party The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am The Money The Maze £4 / £5, 7.30pm

Saturday 08/11 Noodle Moog Free, 8pm - 4am Cynthia Stern, Lief Ryan, LuSINda, Glove:r, Ally Reilly, Mark Allen and Matt Hinton. Richie Muir Southbank Bar Free, 8pm Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 3am With Rex the dog (tbc), Skull Juice, Hostage, Kid British (live) and MMMHA! in The Red Room.

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

‘Heads Up The Loggerheads: hard to find, harder to leave Sometimes the best things can be hard to find. Inner peace, a work/life balance, true love, a well fitting pair of shoes, that Tom Waits demo you’ve been seeking on ebay etc. Well, Nottingham drinkers and music lovers can also add The Loggerheads to that list. If it’s not actually on your radar yet, then it might be easier to find than you think. It’s actually just a short walk out of town, down from the Ice Arena and right near the BBC Nottingham roundabout. Once you’re there you’ll wonder why you never stopped by for a beer before! They have a massive eclectic range of music going on most evenings, with a constant mix of live bands and DJs. Most prominently, The Go Go is an alternative sixties night on the second Saturday of each month, being run as a monthly fancy dress party in conjunction with Mufti Costumes. Resident DJs are Team Excitement, with King Kahlua and occasional guest appearances from Daddy Bones and Detail. Anyone attending gets discount from Mufti – well worth bearing in mind as the spooky season approaches. Indeed, their own Halloween special on 31 October promises surreal happenings in the pubs very own cave (yes it really does have a cave – how many other pubs can lay claim to that?). Local art is displayed throughout and there is serious history attached too. According to the owners (who are prepared to talk all night about this) Dick Turpin, the legendary 18th century highwayman, used it as a gambling den – with cavernous tunnels at the ready in case the feds arrived! A great place to escape to... The Loggerheads, 59 Cliff Road, Nottingham, NG1 www.theloggerheads.co.uk

Saturday 08/11

Tuesday 11/11

Friday 14/11

The Go Go vs Mufti Fancy Dress The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am With King Kahlua, see above.

Deez Nuts Junktion 7 £5 / £6, 7.30pm - 12am Plus Our Time Down Here, Confined to your Reflection and Almost Home.

Moonbuggy Muse 8pm - late

Percussion The Maze 8pm With Wholesome Fish, Deep Sound Channel and Percussion DJs.

Sunday 09/11

Alter Bridge Rock City £16, 7pm

Buster Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

Charlie Musselwhite The Rescue Rooms £13.50, 7.30pm

Saturday 15/11

Damn You! The Rescue Rooms £7 adv, 8.30pm With The Kadane brothers (Matt and Bubba).

Pop, Bubble, Rock! Junktion 7 £4, 9pm - 2am

Sticky Morales Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

Cara Dillon Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm

Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 4am With Dom Chung, Transit Mafia, Detonate DJs and more tbc.

First Signs of Frost Rock City £3, 10pm Plus Deaf Havana.

Data.Select.Party The Bodega Social Club £5, 7.30pm

Less Than Jake Rock City £14, 6.30pm

Antje Duvekot The Maze £9 adv, 7.30pm

Dogma Presents: Stupid Fresh Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am

John Otway The Rescue Rooms £10, 7pm

Monday 10/11

Richie Muir Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

CULT - Utah Jazz Muse £4 before 11pm / £6, 10pm - 3am Plus DJ Priceless, Mouse, Houghmeister and MC Anger.

Live Thursdays The Loft Free, 8pm With The Last Picks, SoulDrive, Beck Stacey, Dawn Pickering and The Black Limes.

BAND ON THE RUM Nottingham’s favourite bands talk about their favourite venues Fists and The Malt Cross

“The Malt Cross is a beautifully maintained Victorian music hall with this crazy-super high stage which makes it completely unique. Where else can you play that makes you feel like The Great Vance bellowing 19th century folk songs to gangs of jeering Victorians? They’ve also got a great team of staff and are without a doubt one of the most respectful and fairest promoters we’ve ever worked with” The Malt Cross, 16 St. James’s St www.maltcross.com, www.myspace.com/fistsmusic

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Wednesday 12/11

dollop Stealth 10pm - 4am Kissy Sell Out (live, tbc), Herve (tbc), Foamo, We Have Band (tbc) and Tomb Crew.

Rancid Rock City £15, 7.30pm The Kills The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm Alphabeat NTU Union £11, 8pm Eric Mongrain The Maze £10, 8pm

Tuesday 11/11 Acoustic Tuesdays The Malt Cross Free, 9pm - 11pm Adnan Sami Nottingham Arena £25 - £100 The Black Keys Rock City £15, 7.30pm Plus Liam Finn. Michelle Shocked The Rescue Rooms £18.50, 7.30pm

Michael Chapman The Maze £10, 7.30pm

Thursday 13/11 Computer Club The Golden Fleece Free, 9pm Plus Starscreen. Live Thursdays The Loft Free, 8pm Dirty As Muck, Danny, Charlie Barker and Ben Walker. Dogma Presents: Alix Perez Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am Lau The Rescue Rooms £12, 7.30pm Radar With Volcano! The Bodega Social Club £3, 9pm

Spokinn Movement The Maze £5, 9pm

Death Cab for Cutie Rock City £17.50, 6.30pm Sack Sabath Rock City £10, 7pm Plus Iron on Maiden. The Blue Aeroplanes The Rescue Rooms £11, 7pm 999 Junktion 7 £8, 9pm - 2am Lobotomy BluePrint £10, 10pm - late Shivver The Maze 9pm

Sunday 16/11

Henschel Quartet Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 7.30pm

Performance Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

Friday 14/11

Dengue Fever The Bodega Social Club £9, 8pm

Roy De’Wired The Approach Free, 8pm

Scouting For Girls Nottingham Arena £17.50, 6.30pm doors Plus The Days.


nottingham event listings... Tuesday 18/11

Friday 21/11

Seckou Keita Quartet The Malt Cross £8, 8pm

Richie Muir The Approach Free, 8pm Plus Good Times, Jennifer James and Buster.

Marillion Rock City £20, 7.30pm Soilwork The Rescue Rooms £12, 7pm

LeftLion Brownes Free, 8pm - 1am With Yunioshi, Polymath (see right) and Stiff Kittens DJs.

Dananananaykroyd The Bodega Social Club £6, 7.30pm

These Arms are Snakes Rock City £8.50

Gringo Star The Maze £6 adv, 7.30pm

Dark Captain Light Captain The Bodega Social Club £5, 7pm

Wednesday 19/11

Simian Mobile Disco Stealth £10, 10pm Plus Carl Craig, Riotous Rockers, Dave Congreve and more.

Billy Bragg Rock City £16, 7.30pm

Thursday 20/11 Live Thursdays The Loft Free, 8pm With Benno Blum, The Cassettes, Lester Norton and Northern Quarter.

Union X Junktion 7 £5, 9pm - 2am Plus Disarm, Skintight Jaguars and The Beast and The Priest. Yeah I’ll Play It Later The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1am

Dogma Presents: Hyper Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am

A Party Without Borders The Maze £5, 9pm

Tom Wardle Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

Saturday 22/11

Airbourne Rock City £12, 6.30pm

Paul Weller Nottingham Arena £30

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Polymath As the Greek origins of their band name suggest, Polymath are not restricted to one musical area. This is genre spanning experimental, occasionally industrial, music made by a band which features former members of Dead City Presidents and the Hellset Orchestra. We spoke to guitar player Ali Harris… What have Polymath been up to recently? A bit of a summer hiatus. We were shattered after putting on our first live extravaganza at Nottingham Arts Theatre in May, so we took a step back to catch our breath. We’ve just recruited a new bassist, and now we’re writing in a snug little chrysalis. I think we’ll emerge a much harder Polymath. Only with delicate wings. What kind of people do you think will be into your music? We want to appeal to as many people as possible. We hope there’s enough in our songs to titilate cerebral musos as well as the single-downloading public. Maybe like Patton goes Pop. Or James Blunt being molested by John Zorn. It’s not wildly happy, but not incredibly miserable either...

What are you listening to at the moment? Dillinger Escape Plan, a bunch of old Radiohead videos on the YouTubes, an amazing Brummie band called Little Dipper and some other bits and bobs. I just put a load of Beatles on my Walkman too, Being for the benefit of Mr Kite goes a long way to alleviating the commuter blues. Tell us about one of your songs and what inspired you to write it… Weapons of Desire is about a celebrated Victorian psychic who captivates the London social scene, filling entire theatres every night. He gets carried away and predicts the end of the world is imminent and people believe him. But instead of being scared, everyone just acts out their wildest dreams: it’s a massive party, everyone’s sleeping with whoever they like, making incredible confessions and generally acting like it’s their last day on earth. Then they wake up the next day...

stage, it was awesome. If you had a super power what would it be? The super power of shapeshifting. Or invisibility. Or flight. Or X-ray eyes The ability to control someone else for a while would be pretty cool too. I guess I’d try to be Jon Snow for the evening, although he’d probably resist me with his super-strong reflective force field. What’s your ideal night out in Nottingham? Drinking? Start in the Trip - the atmosphere cultivates good conversation, and I’ve never had a bad night after being there first. Tom (singer) and Amy (cello) love the Orange Tree so I guess we’d end up there for mojitos. Then we’d dance home over the spit-speckled, spewsplattered streets. I don’t go out that much, I prefer to stay in and seethe quietly at the world.

Describe your style in ten words or less… Music to have sex and then die to.

Best gig you’ve ever played? The best Polymath gig was the extravaganza - The Dust Collectors were ace and we had fun collaborating with the dancers and performers. We had a Buddhist guy come and play Jew’s Harp and recorder on one song, and it was magical. The highlight was seeing Lateral Lines’ video for Sonrisa projected 20ft high on the back of the

Saturday 22/11

Sunday 23/11

Friday 28/11

Strictly Come Rinsing Igloo £5 adv, 10pm - late Shitmat, Ebola, Hoonboy, Recsund, Antacid, The Courier, DJ Fear and Songs of The Vagabonds.

Revolution Sounds The Maze £4, 8.30pm With Robb Blake, Just Panic, Joe Slater and Autocue.

Detonate with Sway Stealth £10 adv, 10pm Grooverider, Noisia, Transit Mafia, Sway (live), Detail, Furious P, Appleblim, Rust and more.

Take a Worm for a Walk Week Rock City £3, 10pm

Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 3am Jack Beats and Beni G, Casper C, Max Cooper, Afrikan Boy (live, tbc).

Taio Cruz The Rescue Rooms £10, 7pm

Opeth Rock City £17, 6.30pm

Radar with Chairlift The Bodega Social Club £3, 9:30pm

Ida Maria The Rescue Rooms £8, 7pm

Sunday 23/11

Medallist The Golden Fleece Free, 7pm

Jay Reatard The Bodega Social Club £8, 7pm

The Rifles The Rescue Rooms £12, 7pm

Smokescreen The Maze £5, 9pm Frandanski and Rob plus special guest.

THE ROPEWALK If you haven’t been drinking in Canning Circus recently then you’re missing out. With a friendly scene of quality bars and eateries, it’s well worth taking a five minute walk up from the Market Square to make the most of your drinking and eating experience. The Ropewalk is one of the jewels in the Circus crown and originally opened as part of the It’s A Scream chain, but changed hands three years ago and is all the better for it. The food and drinks menu, as well as the clientele, have since risen beyond just the student market and they’ve never looked back. The bar has one of the largest range of lagers on tap in the city and they’re about to launch a bottled range to match. Food is wholesome and good value and they serve until 10pm most nights (9pm on Sundays). They host regular live music with DJs on rotation including Sculpture Club (hiphop, breaks and Jimmy Nail), Riotous Rockers (emotional disco pop) and SPAM Vinyl Jacks (motown, mod and soul). Monday night is quiz night with a £30 bar tab up for grabs and on Wednesdays they run Wopewalk, their wine Wednesdays where every bottle is only a tenner! The upstairs bar is spacious and available for hire and they are currently offering local artists opportunities to display their work. As the manager told us ‘Our bar may be on top of a hill, but it’s all downhill when you leave!’

Wednesday 26/11 Gorgoroth Rock City £13.50, 7.30pm Flipron and Mistys Big Adventure The Rescue Rooms £10, 7.30pm Pete and the Pirates The Bodega Social Club Pop, Bubble, Rock! Junktion 7 £4, 9pm - 2am Steve Forbert The Maze £11 adv, 7.30pm

Thursday 27/11 Live Thursdays The Loft Free, Starts 8pm Calling For Heroes, Ethan James, Outta Fashion and Element 104. Gaslamp Killer Dogma Free, 10pm - 3am NME Rock and Riot Tour Rock City £22.50, 6.30pm With Primal Scream and support. Show of Hands with Miranda Sykes The Rescue Rooms £15, 7.30pm Guerilla Radio The Golden Fleece Free, 7pm Word of Mouth Muse 8.30pm - 2am With Leatherette and Spamchop.

www. polymathematics.co.uk

Koda Kola Muse £3 / £5, 9.30pm - 2am Demo BluePrint 9pm - late Pama International The Maze £12, 9pm Plus, Ed Rome, Royal Gala, Jimmy The Squirrel, DJ Wrongtom and Surplus DJs.

Saturday 29/11 Ronnie Londons’ Groove Lounge Grosvenor £3, 8pm - 1am LoveZoo Gatecrasher £6 /£8 / £10, 10pm - 4am Stealth Vs Rescued Stealth Various, 8pm - 3am Markus Mehta, Boy 8-bit, DJ Hal and Made You Look DJs. New Found Glory Rock City £15, 6.30pm Flux The Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1.30am Keep It Cash The Maze £8 adv, 7.30pm

Sunday 30/11 Roy De’Wired Southbank Bar Free, 8pm

The Ropewalk, 107-111, Derby Rd, NG1 5BB, 0115 959 6181. leftlion.co.uk/issue25

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event listings... Mondays Open Mic Night Golden Fleece Free, 8pm Neon Rocks Stealth £3, 9pm - late NTU student night. Motherfunker The Cookie Club £1 before 11pm, 10.30pm - 3am

Tuesdays Drawing Club Hand and Heart Free, 7pm - 11pm Come and use the gallery as your drawing studio for the evening. MNSTR! Brownes Free, 9pm - 1.30am Detonate, Spectrum and ClubFoot residents. Acoustic Tuesdays Malt Cross Free, 8pm A selection of local acts. Live Jazz Hand and Heart Free, 8pm - late

Wednesdays Electric Banana Bodega Social Club £2 / £5 adv (NUS), 10pm - 3am LeftLion Pub Quiz Golden Fleece £2 / team, 8pm Like booze? Like quizzes? Like being dead good at quizzes in order to win some free booze? Then peg it over to the Golden Fleece for about 9pm (but you might want to get there early), and get stuck into the best pub quiz in town. Joe Strange Band Approach Free, 8pm Plus guests. Joe’s Musical Circus Hand and Heart Free, 8pm - late A showcase for singer-songwriters, occasionally featuring established performers including the odd comedian. The Big Wednesday The Cookie Club £2.50, 10.30pm - 2am

Thursdays Showcase Loggerheads Free, 8pm Live Thursdays Golden Fleece Free, 8.30pm Live music every week. Club NME Stealth £2 / £4, 10pm - 2am Word Of Mouth Muse Run in partnership with Camouflage, the home of live underground hip-hop, bringing the finest quality acts for your acoustical enchantment. Modern World The Cookie Club £1 / £3, 10.30pm - 2am Loft Conversions Loft Free, 8pm Tribute and acoustic bands.

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leftlion.co.uk/issue25

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

nottdance08 One of the UK’s biggest dance-fests returns, to a space near you This month sees the return of the nottdance festival, now in its nineteenth year and a major event in the NottsArt calendar. Produced by Dance4, from 17 to 26 October we will be treated once again to some incredible creative energy as venues all over the city play host to a wide range of dancers, choreographers and performers. From its humble roots in 1989 as a council-run weekend event for local artists, nottdance has become one of the leading European festivals of dance and performance. Taken over by Dance4 in 1995, the festival has showcased an incredible nine hundred professional artists throughout its history, with twenty-six UK premieres and a further twenty-six world premieres. In keeping with the festival’s ongoing mission - aiming to involve and expand its audience base and liberate dance from its rather elitist ghetto – nottdance08 is focusing on the theme of ‘choice’. They even went so far as to open up the selection of the bill to a public vote: brand new and seasoned audience members alike watched a shortlist of DVDs, thrashing out their responses to the work. After much discussion, a unanimous decision was reached to showcase the exciting New Zealand artist Kate McIntosh. Now based in Brussels, McIntosh makes regular international appearances. Her work can often be humorous, with a powerful stage presence and an abundance of curiosity. In All Natural, which kicks off the festival on Friday 17 October, she becomes part stand-up comic, part showgirl, part dishevelled semi-human creature. Combining strange ramblings and crazed outbursts with some snazzy Vegas dance steps, she searches for the myth of naturalness, all the while pushing the barriers of audience contact to the limits. Saturday 18 sees Juan Dominguez’s UK premiere of All Good Spies Are My Age. Dominguez is a performer and choreographer based in Spain. His successful career has included directing the In Presentable festival in Madrid and a research residency in Beijing. His solo performance utilises simple and clever forms of text, leading us on a voyeuristic journey into the imagination. The double bill line-up on Tuesday 21 October was unanimously selected by a jury of teenagers. After much debate, they chose the renowned choreographer Mustafa Kaplan of Turkey and the emerging young Gabriele Reuter of Germany. Working in Istanbul, Kaplan is known as one of the most innovative choreographers of the moment. Collaborating as ‘Taldans’ with the excellent dancer Filiz Sizanli, they have created the duet Sek Sek. Investigating opposing forces and equilibrium, the pair explore the body as a surface. Working with scale and the space in-between, the body becomes a measuring unit as they use incredible balance, intense energy and physicality exploring their interactions. Gabrielle Reuter completes the double bill at Lakeside Arts Centre. A prodigy of Dance4, Reuter was chosen for their SHIFT residency program earlier this year. In Inventory, we are led on a personal journey through the artist’s world. Charming and articulate, she describes the common understanding between audience and performer. Exploring her space and her invisible world, she translates her expressions through gesture and movement. Epitomizing the theme of choice central to this years festival is Store. Presented at a yet-to-be-disclosed venue in the city centre, this is the UK premiere of the Matsune and Subal production. Here we are offered the chance to purchase a personal, tailor-made work of art. From a menu of more than sixty ingredients, we are invited to select our own unique combination of performance elements. We can order in, takeaway or watch as it is performed in store, each piece is ours to consume. Boasting the tag ‘Store is a Shop, Art is a Business’ and with prices starting at fifty pence, we can all afford to own an original work of art. Other events include Vincent Dupont’s Haut Cris (miniature), Nine Finger by Fumiyo Ikeda, Alain Patel and Benjamin Verdonck, plus a night of improvisation, where we can see the choices made on stage by the artists themselves. Besides the Nottingham programme there will be a number of events going on in London, including a symposium with Hancock and Kelly, a performance by Thomas Leman and critical debate on independent dance and the future of young performers. With a line-up of highly innovative and experimental contemporary artists and strong emerging talent, this looks to be a characteristically imaginative and eye-opening program of events. nottdance08, 17-26 October, assorted locations. www.dance4.co.uk/nottdance

Thursdays

Fridays

Fridays

Saturdays

Tuned Rock City £1 - £5, 10pm - 3am All the latest alternative music alongside a healthy dose of pop and chart music.

Superstar Boudoir Gatecrasher £10 / £12, 10pm - 4am Friday nights are back on the agenda! Each week we will be offering a different slice of action from the worlds leading dance music brands and DJs.

Love Shack Rock City £4 - £5, 9.30pm - 2am

Play Gatecrasher £7 / £9, 10pm - 4am

Open Decks and Open Mic Loggerheads Free, 5pm - 12am Bring some records or bring an instrument and come and set the scene for the start of the weekend.

Distortion Rock City

Chic Gatecrasher £4 / £5, 10.30pm - 3am Four floors of music. Your Disco Bodega Social Club Free, 8pm - late Where regulars and friends get a chance to become the DJ and play some of their favorite tunes in the downstairs bar. Roar!!! Hand and Heart Free, 8pm - late A night dedicated to premiering new or screening oldschool Skateboarding videos with DJs Chow Brownes Free, 9pm - 1.30am

Atomic / Sabotage The Cookie Club £2 b4 11pm, £4 after (NUS discount), 10.30pm - 3am The Pop Confessional Bodega Social Club £1 / £3 / £5, 11pm - 3am Classic POP tunes from all eras, and lots of fun and games with prizes. Num Lock Hand and Heart Free, 8pm - late A night of experimental, unusual and innovative music with DJs every week and live groups once a month.

Santero Brownes Free, 9pm - 1.30am Fridays Golden Fleece Free, 8pm DJs playing reggae, DnB, funk, hip hop, disco, and all sorts else.

Saturdays Saturday Night Knees Up! Malt Cross £3, 8pm - late Every week our resident bands will astound and entertain! Hoe-downs and good times guaranteed, with resident DJs playing until late.

Make your own night! Hand and Heart Free, 8pm - late Use the gallery for free to put on your own club night. You provide the music; we’ll provide the atmosphere. Freeman Brownes Free, 9pm - 1.30am

Sundays Sunday Jam Sessions Loggerheads Free, 8pm Reggae Roast Golden Fleece Free entry, all day.


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Gershwin Thu 20 Nov A star-spangled Broadway hit satirising the US Presidential Elections – how’s that for topical!

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event listings... Comedy Thursday 02/10 Edinburgh and Beyond Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Chris Lynam Grosvenor £5 / £6, 8pm Plus Nick Page, Tyson Boyce, Joe Peters and compere Spiky Mike.

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

Sunday 19/10 Just The Tonic Approach £10 / £12, 7.15pm doors With Patrick Monahan, Wilson Dixon, plus guests and compere.

Tuesday 21/10

Just The Tonic Approach £6 / £8, 7.15pm doors

Should I Stay or Should I Go Maze £4 / £5 / £6, 8pm 15 acts compete. Comedy’s answer to the X-Factor. Each does two minutes, then audience judges with red cards vote to keep them on or send them off! With compere Spiky Mike.

Tuesday 07/10

Thursday 23/10

Nick Page Grove £4 / £5, 8pm Plus Simon Bligh, Sean McLoughlin, James Acaster and compere Spiky Mike.

Just The Tonic Approach £11 / £13, 7.15pm doors With Jeff Green - on tour

Sunday 05/10

Wednesday 08/10 Steve Coogan Royal Centre £30, 7.30pm Runs until: 09/10

Sunday 12/10 Just The Tonic Approach £5 / £7.50, 7.15pm doors With Russell Kane, Rob Derring, plus another guest and compere.

Thursday 16/10 Just The Tonic Approach 7.15pm doors With Jim Jeffries, on tour. Dylan Moran Royal Centre £17 / £19, 7.30pm

Friday 17/10 Nottingham Comedy Underground Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am

Gallery Glitter

Sunday 26/10 Just The Tonic Approach £5 / £7.50, 7.15pm doors With Brendan Burns Plus guests.

Thursday 30/10 Martin David Grosvenor £5 / £6, 8pm Plus Rob and Skatz, Martin Hill, Bobby Carroll and Spiky Mike.

Sunday 02/11 Just The Tonic Approach £4.50 / £7, 7.15pm doors With Jon Richardson plus guests.

Tuesday 04/11 Roy Chubby Brown Royal Centre £20, 7.30pm Runs until: 05/11 Sally O’Sullivan Grove £4 / £5, 8pm Brian Damage and Krysstal, Pete Smith, Ben Davids and Spiky Mike.

Words: Frances Ashton

The walls are alive with the sound of music at Southwell Artspace

Gold Soundz is an exhibition of Music and Drawing curated by Geoff Diego Litherland. Described as ‘an exhibition inspired by music, especially music played with guitars often quite loudly’, Artspace could be rivalling Rock City with its latest exhibition - an eclectic mix of drawings, paintings, sculpture, videos, print, books, music and sound installations all crammed into the gallery space. It’s a lyrical and humorous approach to representing music, often where music and sound have played a part in the ignition of ideas and inspiration of the artistic process. Founded on an all-encompassing ‘fandom’ of music, this exhibition showcases artists like S Mark Gubb, whose work often calls upon his lifelong passion for rock music. Also included is an animation to Blur’s Good Song by David Shrigley.

THE HAPPY SHOPPERS Shop might sound like part of the Ronseal school of marketing, but it’s actually more of a combination of exhibition space and creative offices than a retail space. Located up in Canning Circus, right next to the Sir John Borlase Warren pub, anyone who has come up Derby Road recently might have noticed their big bright red window display - reminiscent of an Amsterdam knocking shop. The partners in the business are local lads Nicholas Chaffe, Tim Smith, Rikki Marr, Jack Curtis, Guy Brown and Rob White. They’re quite well known to us here at LeftLion too; Mr White and Mr Marr regularly doodle various illustrations throughout our pages and Mr Curtis has written more than one article in his time. So you might think we have to say nice things about them, but that’s not strictly the case. The truth is we just genuinely dig their idea of getting a load of creative types into the same space and trying to build something great together. Collaborations so far have seen members create designs for Nike, Wallpaper magazine and the Guardian newspaper. The group are also very open to new ideas, and are now looking for things to exhibit and sell in their next show at the end of October. So if you are a student, artist or media practitioner and would like to exhibit work in Shop email info@viewtheshop.co.uk Shop, Canning Circus, Nottingham, NG7 3GD. www.viewtheshop/co.uk

Friday 07/11

Sunday 23/11

Tuesday 07/10

The Mighty Boosh Nottingham Arena £25 Runs until: 08/11

Just The Tonic Approach £6 / £8, 7.15pm doors With Richard Herring, Carl Donnolly and guests.

Rachel Daws View from The Top Free, 9am - 7pm Mon - Sat (9.30am Tues) Runs until: 13/10 Contemporary photography.

Sunday 09/11 Just The Tonic Approach £5 / £7.50, 7.15pm doors With Seymour Mace, Jack Whitehall and guests.

Monday 10/11 Russel Howard Royal Centre £15, 7.30pm

Tuesday 11/11 John Shuttleworth Lakeside Arts Centre £12 / £15, 8pm Should I Stay or Should I Go Maze £4 / £5 / £6 (NUS), 8pm 15 acts compete. Each act does two minutes, then audience judges with red cards vote to keep them on or send them off! With compere Spiky Mike.

Friday 14/11 Nottingham Comedy underground Loggerheads Free, 8pm - 1:30am Paddy McGuinness Royal Centre £18.50, 8pm

Sunday 16/11 Just The Tonic Approach £6 / £8, 7.15pm doors Phil Kay and guests.

Thursday 20/11

Other artists such as Guy Birkin, George Ludgate and Edward Morris create work inspired by music while Simon Raven, Litherland and Lucy Stevens exhibit their own intriguing music, or sound contributions. Every visitor to the gallery will discover the top five albums of each contributing artist. Try and stop your foot from tapping if you dare.

Just The Tonic Approach 7.15pm doors DAvid O’Doherty - on tour

Gold Soundz, 27 September - 1 November, Southwell Artspace, 48 Westgate, Southwell, NG25 0JX.

Friday 21/11

Open Wednesday to Friday 10am to 5pm, Saturdays 11am to 3pm. www.southwellartspace.com

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Jimmy Carr Royal Centre £20, 8pm

Monday 24/11 Steve Coogan Nottingham Arena £30

Thursday 27/11 Ivan Brackenbury’s Hospital Radio Roadshow Grosvenor £5 / £6, 8pm Plus Paul Kerensa, Sal Stevens, Rex Purnell and Compere Spiky Mike.

Sunday 30/11 Just The Tonic Approach £4.50 / £7, 7.15pm doors Mitch Benn and guests.

Exhibitions Wednesday 01/10 Next we change earth Art Exchange Free, All day Runs until: 28/10 Showcasing artists who have resided in Nottingham and reflects upon the progress throughout time on Black issues; culture, identity, space and home. Marcus Darwin: Analogue The Art Organisation Free, 11am - 9pm Runs until: 18/10 Cultural vandalism on a grand scale: big , bold, crude and contemporary!

Tuesday 07/10 Norsaca View from The Top Free, All day Runs until: 20/10 Part of their fourtieth year celebrations NORSACA are holding an exhibition of artwork produced by students from its specialist school and further education college.

Friday 10/10 It’s Almost Always Fiction in the End Nottingham Castle Free, standard opening times Runs until: 04/01 Rosalie Wiesner presents her solo exhibition.

Saturday 10/10 Metahang Nottingham Castle Free, standard opening times Runs until: 30/11

Tuesday 14/10 Lois Osborne View from The Top Free, 9am - 7pm Mon - Sat (9.30am Tues) Runs until: 20/10

Tuesday 21/10 Jupiter Design and Orbs View from The Top Free, 9am - 7pm Mon - Sat (9.30am Tues) Runs until: 27/10 An exhibition to launch a calendar in aid of the breast cancer charity Orbs. Expect glamour, excitement and a Harley Davidson in the gallery.

Wednesday 29/10 Danse Macabre View from The Top Free, 9am - 7pm Mon - Sat (9.30am Tues) Runs until: 03/11 Bringing together artists from a variety of backgrounds and disciplines whose work explores the darker aspects of the subconscious mind. Trak E.Smith View from The Top Free, 9am - 7pm Mon - Sat (9.30am Tues) Runs until: 03/11



event listings... Monday 10/11

Tuesday 07/10

Sokari Douglas-Camp New Art Exchange Free Runs until: 19/01 A ten-year retrospective of the acclaimed Nigerian-born artist.

Zero Lakeside Arts Centre £12/£9 Runs until: 8/10 Two soldiers, posted at Camp Zero, find themselves driven to desperate acts.

Anthony Jadunath: Red New Art Exchange Free Runs until: 11/01 His work reflects personal experiences and resonates with larger cultural issues, for example, the murder of Stephen Lawrence and the effect this has had on the wider Black community.

Wednesday 19/11 Speed View from The Top Free, 9am - 7pm Mon - Sat (9.30am Tues) Runs until: 24/11 Students from Nottingham Trent University will be exhibiting business ideas and products developed under an imaginative and enterprising scheme called SPEED.

Theatre Friday 03/10 Have Box Will Travel Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm Runs until: 04/10 From humble beginnings in a South London bedroom to spinning records in some of the biggest clubs in the world.

Monday 06/10 Improbable Fiction Lace Market Theatre £6 - £9, 7.30pm Runs until: 11/09 When Arnold’s writing group departs after a Yuletide meeting, conflicting personalities leave a less than festive air about the place Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Royal Centre £11.50 - £26, Various Runs until: 18/10 Craig Chalmers takes on the title role. Linton Kwesi Johnson Jongleurs £10, 7pm for 8pm start

for more: leftlion.co.uk/listings

THE APPROACH Sitting comfortably in an old sofa shop The Approach on Friar Lane is a grand old space that’s become well established as a favourite for live music, comedy and all things sport. Live music runs from Wednesdays to Saturday and features the city’s finest cover bands. For laughs on Sundays (as well as the odd midweek special), Just The Tonic is the city’s best-loved comedy club and has seen just about every new comedian you can name. Up this season are 2008 If.com award winner David O’Doherty, Steven K Amos, Russell Kane, Richard Herring and more. Champion binge drinker Johnny Vegas describes it as “The best comedy club in the country.” More details from www.justthetonic. com.

Thursday 09/10 The Pilots Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm Runs until: 10/10 Two men are pretending to know what they’re doing. Reckless Sleepers mark twenty years of making cutting edge contemporary performance by going back to the beginning. A theatre, an audience, two men pretending. All Quiet on the Western Front Playhouse £8 - £24.50, Various Runs until: 18/10 The most famous anti-war novel ever written. Idealism quickly turns to disillusionment as they experience the full horrors of life in the trenches and one by one the boys begin to fall.

Sunday 12/10 Junk Shop Theatre Company Maze Free / £3, 7.30pm Final showcase for the youngsters theatre group.

Tuesday 14/10 State of Matter Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm State of Matter is the latest dance work by 2FaCeD DaNcE, the all male, award winning, break, street and contemporary dance company.

Thursday 16/10 Hidden Talents Maze £4, 7.30pm All women cabaret, women only. Party Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm A multilingual play centered around the state-sponsored genocide in a remote village of Orissa in eastern India

Live football and other sports are shown on two big screens and an array of plasmas that will make your face light up like a chav in his local Currys. Following the sport theme there are regular ‘Audience with’ nights, which have featured local heroes such as Stan Collymore, Carl Froch, Larry Lloyd and John Robertson. Upcoming hosts include Garry Birtles, Kenny Burns, Mark Crossley, Nigel Jemson and Dean Saunders. They are also pretty on the ball when it comes to good value food. They run two for one deals from 3-6.30pm on weekdays and until 9pm on Monday and Tuesday. Drinks on Monday and Tuesday include £1.75 for a pint of Carling and wine at £8 a bottle. If you have an NUS card look out for the special ‘student only’ price list from Monday to Thursday. The Approach, 12-18 Friar Lane, NG1 6DQ, 0115 950 6149, www.theapproachnottingham.com

Friday 17/10

Wednesday 22/10

Monday 03/11

All Natural Sandfield Theatre This solo performance flickers between stand-up comedy and a Vegas dance routine. The showgirl on stage seems to have emerged from a month lost in the forest - muddy, disheveled, and more animal than human.

Macbeth Playhouse £7.50 - £24.50 Runs until: 15/11

Can’t Smile Without You Royal Centre £12 - £28.50, Various Runs until: 08/11 A brand new musical love story featuring all the timeless hits from music legend Barry Manilow.

Saturday 18/10 All Good Spies are my Age (NottDance) Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm A man dressed in a white suit displays small cards to a video camera.

Tuesday 21/10 Gabriele Reuter and Taldans (NottDance) Lakeside Arts Centre Seven Brides For Seven Brothers Royal Centre £11 - £27.50, Various Runs until: 25/10

INSTALLATION OVERDRIVE Of the many events taking place this autumn, perhaps the most notable is the relocation of artist studio Stand Assembly and artist-run gallery Moot. They’ll be saying ‘hello’ to their new, larger studio/gallery complex in Sneinton, which, among other things, promises to endow Moot with more ground-floor room to play with. The first exhibition in their new space, with interventions and sculpture from Tomas Chaffe, opens on 2 October, with the private view on Friday 3. Every action has an equal or opposite reaction; as Stand Assembly and Moot leave their wonderful space on Dakeyne Street, so arrive a new artist studio/gallery to fill it. Backlit (an artist studio group formed by recent Trent graduates) have inherited the building and are hungry for success; so keep your eyes open for launch events. Another major arrival in the city is the New Art Exchange. Its inaugural programme of events include a project by the YARD Theatre Company, an artist residency with workshops, and their first internally curated exhibition Next We Change Earth. Opening in September and finishing on October 26, the exhibition ‘reflects on issues faced by Black artists in the UK’ Finally, Nottingham Contemporary continues its series of off-site exhibitions, leading up to their grand opening in Spring 2009, with its latest offering The Carceral (after Foucault). Described as an ‘ambitious international exhibition’, the show - situated in the former Victorian police station on High Pavement and using Michel Foucault’s landmark book Discipline and Punish as inspiration - is due to open on 1 November. www.mootgallery.org www.backlit.org.uk www.thenewartexchange.org.uk www.nottinghamcontemporary.org leftlion.co.uk/issue25

Store (NottDance) Various Locations 11am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Runs until: 25/10 Matsune and Subal Production (Japan/Austria), UK premiere. Top secret venue in the centre of Nottingham - details to be announced.

Friday 24/10 Improvisation Evening (NottDance) Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm With Israel Galván (Spain) and Miguel Pereira (Portugal).

Saturday 25/10 Hauts Cris (NottDance) Sandfield Theatre 8pm Hauts Cris means literally ‘high pitched scream’ in French.

Sunday 26/10

Your bi-monthly dose of artiness, with Hugh Dichmont

42

Thursday 23/10

Fumio Ikeda (NottDance) Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm Nine Finger is inspired by the story of a child soldier somewhere in Africa, based on the novel by American writer of Nigerian origin Uzodinma Iweala.

Monday 27/10 The Woman in Black Royal Centre £8 - £23, Various Runs until: 01/11

Monday 03/11 The Rover Lace Market Theatre £6 - £9, 7.30pm Runs until: 08/11 Intrigue, disguise and mistaken identity abound as the men, looking for sex and a good time, encounter some unusually feisty women.

Tuesday 11/11 Oliver! Royal Centre £8.50 - £17.50, Various Runs until: 15/11

Saturday 15/11 Painkillers Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm Painkillers is a pulsating exploration of the mind of a woman who has killed.

Tuesday 18/11 Lord of the Flies Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 1:30pm and 8pm Runs until: 20/11

Wednesday 19/11 Miss Julie Lace Market Theatre £6 / £7 , 7.30pm Runs until: 22/11 Banned by the police in Copenhagen before its intended premiere in 1889, Miss Julie still has the capacity to shock today.

Friday 21/11 This Child Lakeside Arts Centre £9 / £12, 8pm Runs until: 22/11 Every family has its own story.

Monday 24/11 Absurd Person Singluar Royal Centre £8 - £24, Various Runs until: 29/11

Friday 28/11 Aladdin Playhouse Runs until: 24/01 Kenneth Alan Taylor is back as Widow Twankey...



Write Lion

The rain may have flattened a lot of expensive hairstyles but it’s also got the creative juices flowing on the forum. Also splashing through the puddles are some selected poems from the LEAP anthology (see reviews). And for those students new to Nottingham, forget Robin Hood and two-for-one drinks in Ocean; the only introduction you need is to our favourite quiffed satirist, Lord Biro, who will be let loose in the next edition. If you would like to see your work in print please join the WriteLion forum or email books@leftlion.co.uk.

Shane West-Bridgford by Lord Biro

Way of Seeing by mistakemistak

T’Weather (extract) by Snootyboots

Black Dog by M_L

Spotty young yobbos Thieving and fighting The Observer film critic finds them ‘very exciting’.

“Et quid amabo nisi quod aenigma est?” -Giorgio de Chirico

I remember when summers were sunny, and with winter came flurries of snow, Now there’s just pounding rain, on my window pane, Where’s the seasons? I’d like to know.

Black dog’s here again Retriever of lost grief To gorge on white spine Feast on frail thought

Jumbo sized Sharons Chasing council house clowns Has the middle class queuing From Broadway to Brownes. Throw in a sharp dialogue like “gi us a wank” And you’ll be laughing like me all the way to the bank. I’m off to Provence now to party and rave As I fly over Skeggie I’ll give them a wave.

Wait for it (extract) by A Catterall I am alone and as you Read this poem So are you

The door shut, keeping the horse out (this all happening just after a quarter past twelve), the wind was guilty of course. But the bird sat still high content with only ever seeing the white jug from that one angle and never bathe within it. A boy asks, What does valise mean? His father answers, It’s like this briefcase. The wasp admired this scene from the comfort of a jar by the window that split the world up into four equal rectangles.

Can I? (extract) by Girlie If a great man can write a poem based on two words that means so much Can I? If a great man can have a dream that changes the world for the better Can I? If a woman can live with the sick and profess her love and kindness Can I? If a woman can pioneer the right for others to vote and die Can I?

It’s now poured for eighty two hours, Sod the car I need a canoe, I long for a day, when the clouds go away, and I stop getting wet through. Around the corner is Autumn, I’m expecting pretty much the same, yet more awful floods folks wearing their hoods Saying global warming’s to blame I’m dreaming of a white Christmas I haven’t seen one yet but the way things are going It won’t be snowing All it will be ... is wet

CND by Lord Biro Doves Labour Lost.

Brute muzzled hound Bone marrow menace Feral stray shadow With negative gloss Sitting, watching Assessing Black ball eyes Limp flesh tongue Sniffing the air Cautious apparition! Unwelcome familiar Reliable companion

A Warning to Wills by Lord Biro Happy Birthday Prince William Diana look-a-like. If you get a Merc from the Media Swap it for a bike.

If you have ques tions about tech nology, audio, video, ph otography, compu ters or indeed anything else, let the geek s know by emailing geek @leftlion.co.uk. All questions will be answered and a se le ct ion of them will be pr inted in this mag azine… Is there an y way I ca n download YouTube vi streaming deos on to media like my compu Yes, there ter? is a very ha nd which wor y tool calle ks as a thir d Downloa d par ty plu d Helper (an internet g-in for Moz browser). Fi illa Firefox rstly, you w Mozilla Fire ill need to fox (www.m download ozilla.org) main brow ser in place and use th is as your of Internet up and ru Explorer. O nning, go nce this is to www.d download ownloadhel this plug-i per.net an n. Follow th screen inst d e relatively ructions an simple ond b any YouTub e video to yo ingo! You can now download ur computer mp3 files fr . You can al om stream ing website so capture Last.fm or s such as internet ra dio stations .

I’ve just started using Reason to produce tracks I like to use a lot at home. of dr um loops, and even throug are at the same h they tempo they don’t sound in time. going on? What’s Basically your problem is ‘the groove’, my frien though loops are d. Even played at the sa me tempo, they all played in the are not same groove. Dr um mers push and pu beats within a ba ll the r to create a ‘lazy ’ feel, and if you or more loops th have two ese grooves migh t en you need to do d up clashing.W is use a function hat called Groove Qu Fortunately this antise. is very easy to do in Reason (m sequencing pack ost other ages also have the same functi click with the mo on). Rightuse on the MID I part in the se window and choo quencer se the function Ge t User Groove. No to the other MID I part and select w go User Quantise. find that the groo You should ves are now match ed and both drum sound perfectly in time! loops

Sorr y, I Don’t Speak Geek is brought to yo in association u with The Sto n e Soup Project www.thesto . nesoupproje ct.com 44

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

My friend an d I have got a home stud we’re gettin io set-up an g a few com d plaints from My friend’s be the neighbou en advised to rs. pu to minimise t eg gbo xe s on the wall the sound. W ill that really It depends w work? hat you’re tr ying to do. minimise the If you want nois to do virtually no e (soundproofing) then eg g boxes will thing! What they will do reflections of is break up th sound from th e e walls. Thin echo you get k of the metal in a pipe, an lic d that’s what eg reduce. If you g-boxes will want to minim ise sound whi neighbours, yo ch is affecting u need to use something a A basic rule bit weightier. of thumb is, the heavier th use the better e material yo your sound-pr u oofing will be afford the tim . If you can’t e or expense of building a of plasterboa second skin rd around th e room, then drapes. Best tr y some heav of luck! y


Time, once again, to clear through that pile of CDs, books, mags, and all the other stuff we get sent. If you have anything you want us to give the once-over, please send it to LeftLion Reviews, LeftLion, The Oldknows Factory, St Anns Hill Road, Nottingham NG3 4GP...

Music Lords Everyone Is People (Gringo)

Lovvers Think (Wichita)

The Four Fishermen Fallen Oak EP (Dirty Demos)

Nottingham based band Lords release their second album Everyone is People and it’s an animal. It probably won’t make you jump up and shout ‘What the feck! I’ve never heard music like that before’. What it might do is get you dancing ‘round your pad, giving it some air guitar, whilst your mate air drums from the sofa. Rock is fun, and when you get a group that obviously love what they do, you should take notice. Lords have given us an album that hasn’t succumbed to shiny production, and better yet has maintained the essence of their live sound. The album has stylings of seventies rock, blues and grunge whilst avoiding the traps of banal, thinly veiled tributes to their heroes. Definitely worth a listen or five. Alison Emm

After over two years of touring the UK and putting out a number of very well received 7” singles, Nottingham-based four piece Lovvers have finally got round to releasing their debut slightlylonger-player. The noisy, discordant hardcore elements of earlier releases give way to a punchier, poppier lo-fi garage-meetshardcore sound. With seven songs in under fifteen minutes, there’s no space for filler. The recording is raw and the songs are to the point. Example: standout track No FunShout, which mutates into a great seventies/eighties LA style punk-meetsthe-Sonics song. Shame this is being released towards the end of the summer as it’d make an ideal soundtrack to pogoing around your back gardens at BBQs and pulling your best pop punk face. Check their album launch on Friday 10 October at Chameleon Arts Café on Angel Row. Georgios Haberis

The Four Fishermen are a prime example of (more than four) people coming together, who know what they’re doing and do it seriously. The EP was recorded for Dirty Demos with nine musicians at Clarendon College, and is shot through with acoustic feel-good folk. Oak Tree is a progressive song that tells a story with its technique and feeling, Train Minus Train is just over six minutes of experimental noise, while The Heart Machine is a much more upbeat subtle jazz fusion which spirals out into Fallen Oak, which is more noise experimentation. Ultimately the talent shines through. Kristi Genovese

Influenced by: Captain Beefheart, ZZ Top, Black Sabbath. Out October 6 www.myspace.com/lords

Influenced by: Black Flag, Wipers, Black Lips and the Monorchid.

Influenced by: Nick Drake, Will Oldham, Mogwai and Stravinsky. Out now www.myspace.com/the4fishermen

Out now www.myspace.com/letscommunicate

Go: Audio Made Up Stories (Epic Records)

Plastic Heroes Escape the Lower End (Bongo Beat)

Pirate Robot Midget It’s My Beat Now EP (Hell Yeah Recordings)

This four-piece pop-rock outfit from London have a very familiar sound - don’t be surprised to find shades of Blink 182, McFly, and even Busted within their wellproduced tracks. Not to do them a disservice though; the band adds synths into the mix and does without a bass guitar completely, giving them some breathing space from the similar sounding pack. Woodchuck starts with some clever synth use, with nice guitar lines throughout. So Quiet You Were follows a similar pattern and highlights the more unique aspects of Go:Audio’s sound. Despite the Americanised edge to the album and the slightly generic feel to some of the tracks, Go:Audio have enough about them to stand out from the crowd. Dan Skurok

If you, too, happen to be a nostalgic nineties indie lover then check out Plastic Heroes. Everyone has their own soundtrack to the bygone Britpop era and, had it been released a decade ago or so earlier, Lover Boy could so easily have been one of them. The track really makes the album spark up in style, with an uplifting pace and vocals that have splatterings of French pop, creating a light hearted and intriguing, almost familiar sound. Escape the Lower End also offers foot-tapping, catchy tracks like All the Scenes and anthemic, vocal driven numbers such as Flying (ITN), which could draw comparisons to Dodgy or The Longpigs. These boys know what they’re doing: this album is a good start, incorporating new wave, punk, and electro elements into its composition. Nik Storey

There was a time when electronic music sounded like it came from another world, made by boffins in white lab coats to soundtrack radio plays and cheap sci-fi TV shows. But as electronic equipment gradually got more popular and cheaper, it became easier and easier to make these odd strange sounds at home. Pirate Robot Midget is a prime example of someone making music on their laptop; Sacrum has a Casio keyboard in place of a voicebox, which makes for an interesting sound. This isn’t music to dance to, but if you listen to it for long enough it seems to make sense. So Undead makes for easier listening - think of a less radio-friendly Royksopp and you will be close to what this track sounds like. Drum machines grind steadily against air thumping keyboards to make a nifty little toe tapper. Pirate Robot Midget should be proud of the noises they are able to produce, and anyone who is a fan of electronic doodles should check this EP out. Paul Klotschkow

Influenced by: The Eels, They Might Be Giants, Imogen Heap and Jimmy Eat World. Out now www.myspace.com/goaudioband

Influenced by: David Bowie, The Stooges, The Kinks and Television. Out now www.plasticheroes.net

Influenced by: Nine Inch Nails, The Hype Machine and Mr Oizo. Out now www.piraterobotmidget.com

You Slut! Critical Meat (Stressed Sumo)

Swimming Primary EP (Izumi)

This album is a bit like the sound of one hand clapping - minimal, yet magical. On the minimal side there are absolutely no vocals; you can only presume the Sluts fear they’d get in the way of a good guitar-driven groove. Judging by the final product, they might be right. Furthermore, all eight tracks featured here clock in at about twenty-four minutes in total, which is just over half as long as my generation came to expect an album to be, thanks to our copying them onto C90 tapes. On the magical side, it’s brilliant throughout. Experimental all the way, but with loads of cool ups and downs; power chords never sounded so danceable and songs like On the count of 13 go on tangents you don’t expect, but soon grow to love. All in all, this is one of the most exciting albums I’ve heard this year. The stand-out track and potential breakthrough single is mybloodyjesusexploreronfire, though in truth the album is so good as a whole it might not need one. Glen Parva

Swimming are a Notts supergroup, if one can conceive such a thing, consisting of Pete Sampson (aka The Petebox), Andy Wright (We Show Up On Radar), Jonathon Spittlehouse, Blake Pearson and unofficial leader John Sampson. Judging by this five-track affair, they’re a tight shoegazing-gone-psycho unit, despite their other projects. Opener All In Time To The Shoreline features breathless edgy Sonic-Youth-style vocals over an uplifting melody, with the occasional (and slightly offputting) effect that sounds like Microsoft Windows is starting up on your PC. Mirror Maze is a more straightforward affair, like an upbeat Suicide (the seventies proto-synth band, not the act). Instrumental Pretle Pang is reminiscent of Boards of Canada, Here’s a Mountain is a bit Modern-Life-era Blur, but dirtier, and current single Panthalassa could be the best song The Killers never wrote. An impressive mix of electronica, indie, dirty rock and roll and psychedelia are on display here. Get yourself undressed, dive in and enjoy! Glen Parva

Influenced by: Fugazi, Led Zeppelin, Bloc Party and My Bloody Valentine

Influenced by: Boards Of Canada, Primal Scream, The Pixies and Merz.

Out now www.myspace.com/youslut1

Out now www.swimmingband.com

Book LEAP08 Sam Strong (Ed) (Launderette Books) LEAP08 is the most recent anthology from the Nottingham Trent University creative writing team and looks to be one of the best so far. This is largely thanks to the diversity of contributors who range from up-and-coming students to the established and acclaimed, including award-winning children’s writers David Almond (Skellig, Clay) and David Belbin (Denial, Love Lessons) and exciting new fiction from World Fantasy Award winner Graham Joyce. The most enjoyable aspect of reading such an anthology is you get to see works in progress as well as knowing one or two of these may, and probably will, blossom into debut novels. The only downside is that unlike previous editions, it did not include author biogs. It’s available for a fiver and it’s out now. James Walker Influenced by: Sleepless summers, food, experimental fiction and relationships. www.ntu.ac.uk/creativewriting

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

45


Leo (July 24 - August 23) Dreams can be disturbing. It’s a good thing you don’t remember most of them; if you did you’d probably never be able to get out of bed the next morning. Something dark lurks deep in your subconscious. The mental damage the next day is tangible. Get out of your head while you still can! Kill the brain and the body will follow.

Virgo (August 24 - September 23)

Thinking and drinking are two of your favourite activities. But the cumulative affects they have on each other aren’t necessarily for your own or the common good. Your judgement is being impaired by whisky and bourbon chasers. Stop running away from Jim, Jack and Johnnie and instead stab a pencil in their eye.

Libra (September 24 - October 23)

The day the cat got stuck in the TV was nasty bad. She was only a little kitten at the time and noone noticed as she slid in the back while the repairman was replacing the horizontal transistor. She was quiet as he put it back together and left. From then on we had to put up with her pained squealing every time we changed channels, waiting for her to die…

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)

You can use an old lipstick to write the name of the foodstuff on boxes and freezer bags. Lipstick is edible stuff so totally safe. You can also use it to leave kinky death threats to a partner on the bathroom mirror. This is the only way that I communicate with my wife these days. She can’t read though…

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22)

Asexual reproduction is the latest craze in town and it’s something you can do totally off your own back. The bonuses of avoiding meiosis, ploidy reduction and fertilization are that you can have it all your own way as a parent. So make like a single-celled organism and hang out with the archaea, bacteria and protists. You’ll never be alone again...

LEFTLION ABROAD Sydney Harbour, February 2008

Sydney Harbour waterfront = blazing sunshine, ice cold beers and humpback whales. Rather like Nottingham’s own Waterfront, only their whales don’t wear Primark. As snapped by LeftLion photomeister Dom Henry. If you can get a photo of a LeftLion sticker or copy of the mag somewhere dead exotic, send it to info@leftlion.co.uk.

Capricorn (December 23 - January 19)

Questions about the afterlife may stimulate your thoughts, but you will never find clarity as a result of asking them. We don’t know yet about life; how can we know about death? Instead concentrate on the great mysteries of the current, like how did we get here, what are we supposed to do and why bother with any of it?

Aquarius (January 20 - February 19) You puff out your chest like you think you’re Sean Combs, but the chances of you selling millions of records like him are pretty remote. Let’s face it, even if all the rappers you were producing shot each other and left you in the position to get a guaranteed number one then you’d still find a way to ruin everything. Puff daddy indeed.

Pisces (February 20 - March 20) If cats could open doors and tins of food then they’d be pretty sorted wouldn’t they? All their moaning for food and shelter would be over and they’d be able to live as they wanted and almost totally ignore us. But this next step in the evolutionary chain seems a little beyond them at this point. Maybe Darwin preferred dogs.

Aries (March 21 - April 20) A few years ago all you wanted was to live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse. But now your appetite for destruction has drained away and you’re about ready to settle for the club sandwich. The nine-to-five lifestyle might have its limitations, but at least you don’t have to work nights anymore. Makes you almost feel sorry for Batman.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Next time you go shopping, try stealing instead. It’s much cheaper. If you get cold at home in the night then why not burn your house down? You’ll get plenty of heat that way, probably even more than you need. Next time one of your friends says ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,’ put them to the test. If you’re looking to turn the ‘other’ cheek, which one is it?

Gemini (May 22 - June 22) I’d like to be, under the sea, in an octopus’ garden in the shade. He’d let us in, knows where we’ve been. In his octopus’ garden in the shade. Unless he got pissy, about us trespassing, in his garden in the shade. Or if we realised, we couldn’t breathe underwater and died, in an octopus’s garden in the shade. Gulp!

Cancer (June 23 - July 23) If you’re sat at home reading this listening to Coldplay, stop it right now. Put on something more noisy instead. The best advice they can give us on their new album is to ‘live the life’. Well thank god for that deep insight! What’s your next single going to be called? Breathe the air? Drink the water? Walk the dog? Wank the dog more like…

Only 58 more sleeps until LeftLion issue 26! Out: 28th November 2008 (But only if you’ve been dead, dead good) 46

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue25

BARACK OBAMA

would drink at: If in town on batter, to focus group told him ral ate bi-l a er erev Wh k) coc Pea The th: mon s (thi

ain oating slur: ‘John McC Notts-related Swift-B dmarsh’ Broa of n nsio exte the approved

paigning in town: Gaffe made while cam k through window of Caught throwing bric Clinton’s Cards Nottscentric campaign

slogan: ‘Barack City ’

JOHN McCAIN

If in town on batter, would drink at: Wherev er George Bush Jr drinks. 95% of the time. And then deny it Notts-related Swift-B oating slur: ‘Barack Oba ma wants to make your kids suppor t Derby’

Gaffe made while cam paigning in town: Invi ted Victoria Centre to be his running mate (‘sh e’s a hell of a lady ’)

Nottscentric campaig

n slogan: ‘Let’s Pan Iran ’



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