1 minute read
Notts Goss with Jenny Joss
Want the scoop?
I’m not one for wicked whispers, but I’m starting to fret that if I don’t serve you up a slice of the action, you’ll all be starving for scandal. While other local publications are busy scouring Aldi’s middle aisles for kitchen equipment they deem ‘newsworthy’, or creating ghastly graphics encouraging you to post a picture of your pooch, some of us have been out searching for the real scoop.
As temperatures in our town soared higher than a Caribbean island, it became clear to this darling that you scoundrels are determined to rebel against government guidelines, no matter the consequence. If the sight of a packed out Clumber Street wasn’t enough to permanently curl my upper lip in disgust, some of you went as far as turning a road in Radford into a rave, with over 100 revellers and a DJ to provide entertainment. The audacity of these urchins seems as crazy to me as the group of fathers spotted floating down the River Trent on a giant inflatable flamingo – remember the importance of setting a good example, fellas.
If you can’t tell, I for one think it’s safer to lounge around in our boudoir for the time being, and according to intel from a certain city-centre store, there’s still a portion of you who agree. Barry Maltby, owner of The Private Store on Upper Parliament Street has reported a huge boom in sales since lockdown, claiming the shop’s been busier in recent months than it was after the release of Fifty Shades of Grey. Offft. These cheeks do blush.
My little dickie bird has been working in overdrive for me this month, and brought back some information so exciting that it caused this lovely lady to spill her hot chocolate all over the carpet. The glorious film director, Jeanie Finlay, perhaps shared a hint towards her upcoming project, claiming to have laid eyes on footage of a local man having to be cut from a children’s swing after indulging in a few too many tipples. Please, television gods, let this grace our boxes soon.
Anyways, this girl needs to get on the phone with Mr Muscle pronto after that last titbit. Remember lovers – keep your lips loose, your ears to the ground and your eyes on the goss.
