MAGAZINE GET GRIEFY
Editor-In-Chief, Writer, CEO and Founder Kera Sanchez
Contributors for Q4:
Erin Blechman
Melissa Bottorff-Arey
Annah Elizabeth
Diane Hullet
Blair Kaplan Venables
Susan Koursaris
Julia Martin
Irma Prosser
Kimberly Rich
Nina Rodriguez
Shannon Traphagen
Shea Wingate
Gift Guide Design:
Amy Ripley
Gift Guide Design:
Julia Morin
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Disclaimer:
The content presented in this magazine is intended for informational and educational purposes only The topics discussed, including death and dying, are sensitive and subjective in nature. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers are encouraged to seek the guidance of qualified professionals in relevant fields for personalized assistance.
The views expressed in individual articles are those of the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the magazine or its editorial team. While we strive to present accurate and up-to-date information, the dynamic nature of topics related to death and dying may lead to changes in understanding over time.
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From the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Get Griefy
a note from Kera Sanchez
Winter, spring, summer, and fall Four seasons of Get Griefy and two and a half years without my mom If someone had told me I’d be here today, standing at the center of so many intersecting roles, I wouldn’t have understood I feel as though I have two feet planted firmly in very different worlds
My work in education, and this passion project Civilian life, and military life Holding onto grief, and holding onto life.
In my deepest grief, I found myself living liminally, forgetting what life was like prior to the death of my mom a place between wanting to embrace life fully and longing to be reunited with my mom. Admitting this felt scary, and at the time, isolating. It wasn’t until I connected with others who were grieving that I understood just how normal this feeling is. Even then, I knew I needed to lean into life a little more. And so, Get Griefy was born a space for people navigating loss to find a small nudge toward life after loss.
Now, as I step into 2025, I’m ready to draw a line in the sand, choosing life more decisively rather than lingering in uncertainty (Though I know there will still be times I dip a toe back into grief it’s a part of me I won’t ever cut off completely )
Cheers to the holiday season, to embracing life with zest, and to spending more time on the vibrant side of the pool. In 2025, let’s remember that the life that follows loss is still worth living, and for everyone here sharing this journey, I am endlessly grateful for your support.
STIGMATIZED LOSSES: STIGMATIZED LOSSES: STIGMATIZED LOSSES:
RECLAIMING OUR STORIES RECLAIMING OUR STORIES RECLAIMING OUR STORIES WITH COMPASSION WITH COMPASSION WITH COMPASSION
WRITTEN
BY
NINA RODRIGUEZ Grief + Light
Grief is already an overwhelming life experience When it comes to stigmatized losses whether from suicide, overdose, murder, or other socially judged circumstances the burden is exponentially compounded by societal expectations, shame, and silence These losses don't just bring immense pain; they bring an uninvited layer of judgment, making it difficult to express your grief without fear of misunderstanding, discomfort, or outright stigma, triggering our defense mechanisms to protect both ourselves, and the person we knew and loved
In a culture that tends to value tidy narratives of life and death, a loss that doesn’t fit the mold can leave you feeling even more isolated. But the truth is that your grief is valid, your pain is real, and despite the social layers added to your loss, peace can be cultivated within.
Why Stigmatized Loss Hits Differently
Stigmatized losses are often met with uncomfortable silences, or whispered conversations. People tend to avoid these topics, not knowing what to say or worse, dumping insensitive remarks, leading with judgment or misplaced assumptions
The result? You might feel pressured to keep the cause of death hidden or fear being judged when you speak about your person. You may feel pressured to over explain the circumstances or justify your grief, as though these losses need an explanation to be seen as worthy of mourning
These types of losses often stir up feelings of guilt or shame in the bereaved Questions like "Could I have done something?", "What will people think?", or “Will they judge my person?” can plague your healing process, layering guilt on top of sorrow. This is a heavy burden to carry, and it can feel like the world is not just grieving a loved one but is also questioning the life they lived
Honoring the Fullness of Their Life
When dealing with stigmatized loss, one of the first steps to creating a peaceful space in your heart is to reclaim the narrative of your person’s life, and your own They cannot be reduced to the addiction, the mental health struggle, or the means of their death They were complex individuals, like me and you, with love, joy, dreams, and a story far greater than its ending
It’s okay to acknowledge the difficult parts of their journey, and it’s also okay to speak about the beautiful parts. You are allowed to remember their kindness, their laugh, and their presence A struggle does not diminish the value of the life they lived or the love you had for them
Navigating Through
When you find yourself in a situation where you must speak of your loss, especially in a world that may not always offer grace, the key is to approach these conversations with intention Consider these steps to create a peaceful space around the tender parts of your heart before and during these interactions:
1 Know Your Boundaries: You do not owe anyone an explanation of how your loved one died. Ever. The details of your loss are not for public consumption, and it’s okay to protect your heart by setting boundaries, even with friends, family, and colleagues If asked, respond with what you feel comfortable sharing, or simply say, "I’m focusing on honoring their life right now," if the conversation feels too invasive.
2. Reclaim the Story: When you speak of your loss, make it a point to talk about your loved one in a way that honors their full humanity If their death becomes a topic of conversation, be sure to include the joy they brought into the world alongside the pain they endured Their life, and your love for them, is not defined by the way they died.
3 Create a Sacred Space for Grief: Create personal rituals or spaces where your grief can exist without judgment This could be journaling, altar building, meditating, or simply spending time with photos and memories that remind you of the love you shared. These private moments allow you to express your grief in its rawest form without the need for explanation or defense
4. Lean on Your Grief Tribe: Surround yourself with people who understand that grief is not linear and that it doesn’t follow societal scripts Whether through grief support circles, therapy, or trusted friends, find spaces where your experience is honored, and your grief can be expressed fully. These spaces can help you feel seen and supported, providing a foundation for peace in your heart as you navigate public conversations
Transforming Grief Through Compassion
At the end of the day, accessing peace amid stigmatized loss is about offering yourself the same compassion and grace you would give the person you love most. It's about recognizing that your loss is no less valid because society struggles to understand it. Allow your heart the space to feel everything without judgment the love, the sorrow, the anger, the relief All of it is a part of your grief, and all of it is worthy of tending
Remember that peace doesn't mean the absence of pain It means creating a sanctuary within yourself where you can grieve freely and fully, no matter what the world may say. It is through this peace that harmony can unfold, one gentle moment at a time.
Nina Rodriguez is founder, podcast host, and certified grief support specialist trained by renowned psychotherapist, Megan Devine She created the Grief and Light Podcast after the sudden and unexpected loss of her only sibling, Yosef, as an authentic exploration of grief and life after loss. Through each conversation, she aims to give a voice to the griever’s experience, and foster a more grief-informed, hopeful world.
Beyond the podcast, Nina extends her heart-centered support through The Community, monthly circles, 1:1 grief support, speaking engagements, social media, and forthcoming in-person retreats. Get to know more at griefandlight.com. Join Grief and Light: The Community | A virtual space for your grief… and joy.
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WINTER SOLSTICE:
Embracing the Darkness and Light of Grief
Symbolism and dualities play a massive role in life after loss- in grief. We all hear them - "Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes, the water is calm, and sometimes, it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim."
In a duality like in grief, we can be both sad and happy (not just one or the other). Can mere euphemisms, metaphors, or analogies get me through a hard 'season'? I say yes, they can - or at least make us see things so that we can 'take it in' and then apply it. In my words, it can help simplify difficult concepts just enough so that we can take action in our lives.
So, why does this matter? Well, If you are like me, you may have woken up one morning recently with a heavy sense of dread only to realize the why later -- that it has happened -- we are officially in the dreaded 'holiday season ' [Queue the somber bass musical notes of dread... 'ba ba ba bummm'] Also, like me, you may surmise, well, we are here now; how fast can it be over?
This makes me want to go deeper. I want to explore embracing a metaphor to survive a harsh reality or at least to allow us to locate the tools to do so.
By : Melissa Bottorff-Arey
Symbolism is the use of symbols to represent ideas or qualities. We can draw on such images or analogies to help our minds unpack complex thoughts more effectively, freeing up more energy and time for action—aka relief and growth.
A duality is an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or aspects of something, and they show up all the time in life after loss. We all experience the long, dark nights of grief, and at some point, we will all experience the promise of brighter days and more light It's a cyclic ebb and flow. Both predicted and unexpected. Now, we are getting there.
Dark v. Light. Day v. Night. Long v. Short. Sadness, hope, promise, and everything in between are mixed in there.
Being more spiritual and less religious makes me think about the Winter Solstice a concept in harmony with more secular beliefs than some think. Solstice traditions pre-date secular beliefs, which are commingled in many ways. For the sake of this article, I want to focus more on something we all have in common despite deity (or not) beliefs: the changing of seasons, the reality of cycles, and how to leverage them to move forward.
The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year (= the longest night) So look at the day your grief began as that shortest day, the promise as the hope that shows up, and the daylight as better, longer', sunnier days ahead.
So, how do we 'do' this season? How do we survive the long, dark nights? How do we thrive in limited sun? How in the effing world do we embrace the dark and the light of the season?
The extended darkness brings about a forced hibernation, mimicking the forced time in the early days of survival when the grief fog is as thick as pea soup and heavy as a lead blanket.
Use the time to reflect, pull into the protection of shadows, and do the work of reflection and quiet transformation. This is the season for rest, introspection, understanding, and accepting the changes that grief has brought into your life. We can use the briefer times of light to practice and hone in preparation for what is coming up. From this winter, as Spring does emerge, we have stored our strength and need renewal
It does not have to be all doom and gloom, though. Many cultures still mark the winter solstice with fun gatherings. After all, it's okay to be okay, too, I promise Even in the midst of grief, there are moments of joy to be found. Dance in the sun. Rest under the cover of the moon. Find moments of peace and happiness, and hold onto them. They are a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is still light to be found.
Some tangible things to try from those shadows: Reset food and sleep habitsnourishment and rest are vital to rejuvenation. Journal-it's a proven therapeutic tool that helps get feelings up and out. Start a new tradition - going back to 'before' traditions often doesn't feel right, so use this time to intentionally try out new ones that might fit better. You can even delve into an artistic endeavor or start a ritual to remember your loved ones' lives - stepping away from their moment of death and into the light of their life heals us and contributes to their legacy.
The cycles allow consistency and prepare us for the ever-changing nature of grief, which is both sneaky and predictable. It is dark and light. It is also limiting and riddled with possibility - but we must choose to embrace both the dark and light of grief to transform and grow - only to know, on some level, we will do it all over again, but with (each) subsequent next time, we can become more anticipatory, participatory and practiced. It becomes easier over time. And it's important to note that time alone didn't do this - it merely presented itself - it's what you do with the time that truly matters.
As we move through cycles like seasons and solstices there will be ebbs and flows, but there is always a return and always promise In this solstice season, may you learn to embrace the dark and light of the season and lean into the opportunities for extended rest and glimpses of hope both are a natural part of order and are needed to grow toward the promise of brighter days ahead.
MelissaBottorff-Areylosther21-year-old sonAlextosuicideinAugust2016and foundherselfcompletelyshattered Now, havingpickedupherownpieces,sheleads othergrieversfromhopeintohealing She doesthisformomswhohavelostachildto suicidebyhostingmeaningful conversationsonherpodcasts,providing mindfulresourcesasanauthor,offeringa waytocreateaforeverlegacyfortheir child,andleadingweeklyonlinesupport groupsandmore.
Learnmoreaboutherservicesbyvisiting www theleftoverpieces com
FollowMelissaonInstagram @theleftoverpieces
A Legacy Journal to leave behind love, advice and support for your loved ones, inspired by all the unsaid after unexpected loss. Includes 55+ unique journal prompts and freestyle space!
A memory/grief journal that prompts quirky and specific memories of our loved ones, insuring their essence safely kept forever! Includes 55+ unique journal prompts, letters to heaven, sign log and dream log!
When my youngest son, Whit got hit by a car at just 2 years old, that concept– “everything happens for a reason”, was the last thing I wanted to hear.
Whit made a full recovery in a few short weeks (a “miracle of miracles” according to his doctors), but in those weeks that followed the accident, I felt completely betrayed by my spirituality
The spiritual philosophies that I had come to believe– “everything happens for a reason”, “there are no accidents” no longer resonated In fact, they felt almost cruel.
If there are no accidents and everything happens for a reason, why must my joyful, innocent little boy go through what he did? He didn’t have any lessons to learn! But over the months that followed, I started to take on a different perspective
It turns out Whit’s accident had created a ripple effect in our community and beyond Parents told me that the accident was a sharp reminder of the fragility of life and also of the most important thing that is, the health and safety of the ones we love
Many told me they squeezed their kids and secured those helmets just a little tighter, feeling grateful for their little lives
Whit’s accident changed me and our family, too. I became more focused on being present, really present with my kids We started a new family gratitude practice where we all go around the dinner table and tell each person why we’re grateful for them that day
After a few months, I started to take on a new perspective, a new belief: Not that everything happens for a reason but - You can find meaning from everything that happens.
About a year ago (a year after Whit’s accident) my husband Alex and I decided we wanted to try for Baby number four
We both felt it in our hearts and souls - and after what feels like hundreds of conversations and countless counter-arguments, we realized we had to follow our hearts (vs. logic).We both wanted it so deeply and nothing could change it
Turns out conceiving Baby four was a lot harder than conceiving 1-3. It took a full 10 months of doing all the things, seeing all the doctors, before I finally conceived. And boy were we over the moon! I felt completely blissful
That joy came crashing down a few weeks later when a routine ultrasound showed no heartbeat, no baby. I never experienced that kind of loss or grief in my life–for a human I didn’t even know!
I think part of the pain came from wanting it so badly, and feeling so deeply connected to the idea of that little babe in my belly and the beautiful visions of our future family of six. Part of it was worrying I had done something wrong or thinking the soul itself was backing out
After the D&C, I knew I needed time to heal (physically, but more-so emotionally). I took a break from social media, took a week off of work/clients, and spent time trying to process everything, while feeling the grief and pain (the only way out is through!)
During one of my solo nature walks, I thought about how completely joyful had been feeling just a few days prior And how my bliss had shifted to devastation in a mere instant
And then I had this strong wave of realization come over me: You can find meaning in everything. I thought back to Whit’s accident and how a nightmare had in fact positively impacted my life, my family, and our community in such a profound way
Maybe this pain I’m feeling is serving my soul. Maybe experiencing this grief is part of my journey. Maybe pain is part of everyone’s journey.
“This is the contrast of life, Julia.” a little voice inside me said.
I’ve known this. I’ve spoken about this. I’ve taught this. That is: I believe our souls crave contrast That we come here to experience the full range of human emotions
You can’t see the light without the dark. You can’t feel the highs without experiencing the lows. The greatest satisfaction comes from overcoming challenges.
And profound gratitude comes from recognizing the blessing of what you have, in contrast to not having it.
When I met Alex, I fell in love so hard And I was so aware of how incredible this love felt I still am Why? Because I had experienced heartbreak, terrible relationships, and deep loneliness.
“DEEP DOWN, I DON’T “DEEP DOWN, I DON’T
WANT TO BE IN A WANT TO BE IN A PERPETUAL
STATE
OF PERPETUAL
STATE
OF BLISS. I WANT TO FEEL BLISS. I WANT TO FEEL IT ALL!” IT ALL!”
And moreover, I was touched by the fact that my post– my experience, was now serving people. That right there was worth all the sadness I had experienced.
We ALL go through difficult times in life, trauma, heartbreak, hardship, sickness, loss, pain, and grief.
But what if we look at these experiences as opportunities for personal growth? Soul expansion? That contrast we’re talking about? And even more– what if these experiences end up serving someone else in some way? What if we are brave enough to share what we went through to maybe help someone else going through the same thing? I believe that when we do, we not only leave feeling more empowered, but we’re also most certainly making this world a better place.
and Twitter, Julia was called to share her profound understanding of manifestation with the world through her podcast (Dream Your Life) and coaching practice By blending her expertise in mindset with proven business strategies, she helps her clients catapult their businesses and careers through her group programs & private coaching
Driven by her commitment to empower the next generation, Julia cofounded Career Foundations a suite of programs designed to impart professional skills, mindset mastery, entrepreneurship, and financial literacy to high school students In just two years, Career Foundations has blossomed into a seven-figure enterprise, propelling Julia to travel the globe, speaking, training educators, and implementing these programs in classrooms worldwide.
Julia embodies the principles she teaches As a devoted mother of three young children, she applies her knowledge of the Law of Attraction to curate a life of balance, fulfillment, abundance and joy She believes that with the right tools, practices, and mindset, achieving this is within everyone ' s reach.
You can find more about Julia by checking out her Instagram, Podcast(Dream Your Life: Manifest A Life You Love), and website
Losing your mother means gaining a new companion—grief. Chelsea Ohlemiller shares her journey of loss to help you with yours. Her honest reflections on heartbreak, love, and hope can give you words when you ' re speechless. This book is for anyone facing the loss of a mother, offering a compassionate friend for the journey ahead.
Steady Blood Sugar = Happy Holidays!
By: Susan Koursaris NTP, RWP, BCHN®
Ask any griever, and we’ll tell you, one of our favorite ways to cope can be overindulging in sugary treats! As we move into the sugar-rush, holiday season, it’s good to understand how blood sugar affects our overall health. I’ve heard a funny observation that we start with a candy-crazy holiday, then move into a desserts galore holiday, followed by another cookie holiday and we finish off with a drinking holiday! No wonder it is also the flu season! With all this sugar surrounding us, it’s important to make better choices to keep our body and mind strong and healthy!
Keeping blood sugar levels (a.k.a. glucose levels) steady is crucial to overall health! This is because major swings of blood glucose spikes and crashes wreak havoc on our body. Here are just a few reasons why:
Energy Levels
When blood sugar levels are stable, this is what provides a consistent energy source. You will likely feel more energetic and focused throughout the day, which feels great, especially to a griever! On the other side of this, major swings of glucose spikes and crashes can lead to fatigue, irritability, and poor concentration These symptoms are often seen in people with conditions like diabetes, where the body can no longer manage healthy blood glucose levels, and grievers already feel like this, as it is!
Mood and Mental Health
When glucose levels are balanced, this can positively influence mood and mental clarity. It is likely you won’t feel cravings for snacks, and sustained energy supports better cognitive function, and a positive mood! On the other hand, when blood sugar is low (a k a hypoglycemia), this can cause irritability, confusion, and mood swings – issues we are likely already dealing with during times of grief. High blood sugar (a.k.a. hyperglycemia) often leads to fatigue, and feelings of depression Thanks, but no thanks!
Immunity
Stabilized blood glucose levels support a strong immune system by reducing inflammation, ensuring immune cells receive enough energy, supporting gut health, and maintaining hormonal balance. Pretty amazing how blood sugar levels impact all of these systems! However, when blood sugar remains high (chronic hyperglycemia), the immune response is impaired, making it harder for the body to fight infections and slower to heal wounds
When you ’ re physically feeling low, it’s very difficult to feel positive, mentally.
Nerve Health
Heart Health
When healthy blood sugar levels are properly maintained, cardiovascular health is supported in many ways. Plaque buildup (a k a arteriosclerosis) is reduced, inflammation is lowered, healthy lipid profiles are supported, decreasing the risk of hypertension, and diabetes-related cardiovascular risks are reduced! If blood sugar levels remain high (hyperglycemia), blood vessels and nerves become damaged, thereby increasing the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke YIKES!
Grief already makes you feel like you ’ re having a nervous breakdown! More sugar means impaired nerve function Just as with cardiovascular health, proper blood sugar management protects against cellular and vascular damage. It also helps maintain proper electrolyte balance and cellular function, which are crucial for nerve signals to transmit properly This also protects normal motor control and sensory functions High glucose levels, however, damages vascular components and the nerve ’ s protective covering (a k a myelin sheath), among many other inflammatory issues. This can lead to what is called diabetic neuropathy, causing symptoms like numbness, tingling, and pain, which often starts in a person ’ s hands and/or feet
Weight Management
Balanced blood glucose can help maintain a healthy weight by regulating hunger signals and preventing unhealthy cravings Conversely, as blood glucose remains chronically high, this leads to insulin resistance, which often results in weight gain, particularly around the abdomen. Excessive sugar intake can also lead to increased fat storage We often mistake consuming fat for the reason we gain weight, but we see it is more often sugar that is the culprit!
So, what can we do to manage healthy blood sugar levels??
We do it using healthy lifestyle and dietary habits!
Food fight! First off, we need to say ‘ no ’ to the candy, processed sweets and store-bought carbs as much as possible. A treat every once in a while is okay, but just know these junk foods are filled with addictive chemicals that act on our brain the same way cigarettes do! Ever notice how eating just one piece of candy is never enough? Not cool of these candy makers to literally drug their consumers into buying this junk! If you do eat a treat, try to make it at home so you know the ingredients are simple and real.
We can also incorporate helpful foods into our meals that are rich in fiber, such as beans, legumes, sweet potato, squash, leafy greens, nuts and seeds We can ensure each meal contains a good amount of clean protein such as grass-fed beef, pasture-raised pork poultry and eggs, and wild-caught fish We can also add some healthy fats such as avocado, fatty fish and nuts, extra-virgin olive oil, coconut oil, and full-fat dairy to keep our blood sugar levels stable, and our appetites satiated!
Get moving! Consistent physical activity has been shown to improve insulin sensitivity, helping to support better blood sugar control! This is great news that it’s never too late to start doing better Just a 15-minute walk after a big meal will make a huge impact keeping blood sugar levels steady Exercising every day is even more effective for healthy blood glucose control
Drink up! Staying hydrated by drinking enough water helps maintain optimal blood sugar levels Adequate hydration supports stabilized blood sugar levels by enhancing kidney function, improving insulin sensitivity, balancing blood volume, preventing hyperglycemia, reducing the risk of insulin resistance, and supporting overall metabolic function Now, that’s what I call a tall glass of water!
Susan Koursaris is a certified Nutritional Therapy Practitioner with Board certification in Holistic Nutrition, member of Get Griefy’s Small Business Collective, and founder of Wholly Heart Nutrition
To learn more about Wholly Heart Nutrition and to work with Susan, please visit www.whollyheartnutrition.com and follow her on Instagram @whollyheartnutrition
Stay in the loop! For those with diabetes or prediabetes, regular monitoring of your blood glucose levels is important to manage and adjust lifestyle, and dietary habits as needed Especially if you ’ re taking medication, levels need to be closely monitored and adjustments made, when necessary, with your healthcare provider
The holidays can be both full of joy AND a difficult season, especially for the griever Give yourself grace and empower yourself with knowledge on how to navigate the sugar season with wisdom –your body will thank you for it!
References
Schwarz, P E H, Timpel, P, Harst, L, Greaves, C J, Ali, M K, Lambert, J, Weber, M B, Almedawar, M M, & Morawietz, H (2018) Blood Sugar Regulation for Cardiovascular Health Promotion and Disease Prevention: JACC Health Promotion Series Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 72(15), 1829–1844 https://doiorg/101016/jjacc201807081
Nakrani MN, Wineland RH, Anjum F Physiology, Glucose Metabolism [Updated 2023 Jul 17] In: StatPearls [Internet] Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2024 Jan- Available from: https://wwwncbinlmnihgov/books/NBK560599/
Penckofer, S, Quinn, L, Byrn, M, Ferrans, C, Miller, M, & Strange, P (2012) Does glycemic variability impact mood and quality of life? Diabetes technology & therapeutics, 14(4), 303–310 https://doiorg/101089/dia20110191
Ross R (1999) Atherosclerosis--an inflammatory disease The New England journal of medicine, 340(2), 115–126 https://doiorg/101056/NEJM199901143400207
Ceriello, A, Esposito, K, Piconi, L, Ihnat, M A, Thorpe, J E, Testa, R, Boemi, M, & Giugliano, D (2008) Oscillating glucose is more deleterious to endothelial function and oxidative stress than mean glucose in normal and type 2 diabetic patients Diabetes, 57(5), 1349–1354 https://doiorg/102337/db08-0063 Nutritional Therapy Association (2019) Blood Sugar Regulation [PDF Document]
LIFE IS SHORT
Discover how this podcaster uplifts and inspires listeners to believe in themselves and chase their dreams with the same tenacity her father displayed in his cancer battle.
Sara Kelly’s journey into the world of public relations and podcasting is anything but ordinary With a background in political science and communications, Sara had envisioned a very different career path for herself. But like many in her generation, she found herself navigating the uncertain waters of the 2008 recession. As a recent graduate, she landed her dream job at a law firm, only to be the first person let go when the financial crisis hit Faced with a bleak job market, Sara began helping friends promote their events, and soon realized she had a knack for publicity This unexpected turn led her to become a publicist, using her skills to help others grow their businesses and share their talents with the world.
Sara reflects on those early days with a sense of gratitude for the challenges she faced “I wouldn’t trade my career trajectory for the world,” she says “I learned so much during those first really scary and scrappy years when the country was adjusting and rebounding after the financial crisis.” These experiences taught her resilience and adaptability, qualities that have been invaluable in her PR career, especially when helping clients navigate crises or slow periods in their businesses.
But Sara’s story isn’t just about professional success; it’s also deeply personal At the heart of her journey is the memory of her father, Kurt, who had an immense impact on her life and continues to inspire her work. Kurt, affectionately known as "The Relic," was more than just a father to Sara he was her best friend, mentor, and biggest cheerleader. Their relationship was marked by long, deep conversations about life, philosophy, and everything in between When Kurt was diagnosed with head and neck cancer when Sara was just 12, it was a pivotal moment that shaped her in profound ways.
“He was diagnosed with 30 days to live, which was a shock, to say the least,” Sara recalls But Kurt defied the odds, living an additional 20 years and enduring over 48 surgeries, countless rounds of chemotherapy, and radiation Despite his suffering, he faced every challenge with a smile, teaching Sara the importance of resilience and finding joy even in the hardest moments. “He rewired my entire brain with what the true reality of life is and how I MUST live it from that moment on,” she says “I am so thankful for his sacrifice that led to my ultimate awakening, spiritual growth, and overall joy in life ”
Sara’s decision to start her podcast, "Make Life Rich," is a direct reflection of the lessons she learned from her father. Launched in March 2023, the podcast is a platform where Sara shares the stories of small business owners, entrepreneurs, and thought leaders It’s a space free from the influence of big budgets and advertising, where passion and purpose take center stage Sara’s goal is to uplift and inspire her listeners, encouraging them to believe in themselves and pursue their dreams with the same tenacity her father showed in his battle with cancer.
livingSaraandKurttenaciously
"Make Life Rich" has quickly gained traction, with over 205 episodes and listeners in more than 41 countries. The podcast is more than just a platform for business stories; it’s a movement that Sara has nurtured with care and dedication “I want you to believe in yourself and know your worth,” Sara says, summing up the essence of her podcast. “I want you to walk away knowing that you were put here to carry out your very unique purpose in this world ”
For Sara, "Make Life Rich" is about much more than business; it’s about living life to the fullest and making every moment count. It’s a message that resonates deeply with her listeners, whom she affectionately calls "My Richies " Through the podcast, Sara hopes to inspire others to discover brands and people making a difference in the world, to try new things, and to take ownership of their lives. “There is no one coming to save you or live your life for you,” she says “This is your path This is your journey ”
Sara is certain that her father would be thrilled with her podcast’s success. “My Dad would be fucking obsessed,” she says with a smile “He would likely be a co-producer, sending me interviewee suggestions, helping me brainstorm events, and telling everyone he met about why they NEED to listen.”
Even though Kurt is no longer physically present, Sara feels his influence in every episode, believing that he’s “conspiring from the stars” to help her achieve her big, bold dreams
As Sara continues to grow "Make Life Rich," she does so with a deep sense of purpose, driven by the lessons her father taught her and the passion she has for helping others succeed Her journey from PR guru to podcast powerhouse is a testament to the power of resilience, the importance of living life with intention, and the impact of sharing stories that matter. Through her podcast, Sara is not just building a brand she’s carrying on her father’s legacy, one inspiring conversation at a time
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Their clothing serves as a daily prompt to continually aspire to become the finest version of ourselves. It reassures us that regardless of the challenges we encounter, we are constantly just One Decision Away from a radically different life!
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NAVIGATING THE HOLIDAYS AFTER THE LOSS OF A CHILD
By: Erin Blechman
It was the first Christmas after the loss of our 25-year-old son, Max. I was in deep depression, with no desire to celebrate the holidays, but our other son, Sam, was still living at home so I forced myself to get a tree and decorate Pulling out all the handmade ornaments Max and Sam had made over the years was excruciating. One of the worst things to happen was when a card arrived in the mail from a distant relative who sent a Christmas check for Max and Sam every year He always sent only one check made out to “Max and Sam Blechman.” It was a usually a bit of a conundrum to figure out how to deposit it particularly as they got older and lived in different places. We usually got a chuckle out the gyrations required to cash the check
On this particular year, a card came in the mail like clockwork, but it was addressed to Sam only. Seeing it felt like a punch in the gut a tangible reminder that Max was truly gone, and we’d never share another Christmas with him.
Maybe you ’ re facing your first Christmas without a beloved child, and you simply cannot fathom it Perhaps you’d like to crawl into bed and not emerge until after the new year. I understand. The holidays are full of triggers when we ’ ve lost one of our children Days like birthdays and anniversaries are hard, but the holidays are more challenging because they span an entire season
If you ’ re struggling, here are six tips that may help as you navigate the holidays.
Get support
You may need to get some extra support as the holidays approach from your therapist or grief counselor. They can help you anticipate some of the pitfalls you may encounter and plan for how to handle them
You may want to meet with a pastor, priest, rabbi, or other faith leader for prayer or advice on practices that may bring comfort and peace during a difficult time You may want to meet with a wise, trusted friend and talk about your fears and concerns. Be aware that the holidays are extremely difficult when you ’ ve lost a child, not just in the first year but often for years afterward and it’s normal to need extra support and care
Focus on the kids
Maybe you have other children still at home and you ’ re wondering, like I did, how you ’ re going to get through the holiday season. Sometimes focusing on your other kids, rather than your own pain and anger, can be a good distraction. I’m certainly not advocating pretending everything is fine because your other kids are aware that their brother or sister is gone. If your kids usually write a letter to Santa, you can have them write a letter to the sibling they lost, and keep your lost child part of the holidays Children are often called the “forgotten grieves.” We try to put on a brave face for them and often it just makes them feel alone and confused. When we talk openly about our child who has died in an age-appropriate way, it conveys to our other children that it’s okay to express their feelings and important to process their grief
Give It might be helpful to give to others during the holidays You may decide to serve a holiday meal at a homeless shelter, or to deliver gifts or food bags to under resourced families. Again, taking the focus off you and focusing on others can be a productive diversion and bring you gratification as well
Acknowledge and honor your lost child
Making sure our lost child is part of the festivities can be comforting. You can have everyone share a story about your child at your holiday gathering, you might release balloons or paper lanterns in their honor, you may set a seat at the table for them When we acknowledge and honor their absence it helps to keep their memory alive and to remain part of our holiday traditions.
Do something different
Now might be the year to do things differently, to start a new tradition Instead of hosting a formal, sit-down Christmas meal, go out to dinner or ask a friend if you can join in their festivities. When you do something entirely different it can make the absence of your child a little less glaring
Skipit
Yes, you can skip the holidays There is nothing other than tradition,thatsaysyouMUSTparticipateinholidaycelebrations.If you simply can’t muster the will, it’s okay to tell people, “I’m feeling particularly vulnerable right now, and I just need to spend some time alone this holiday season I hope you’ll understand and respectthat.”
This year will be our fifth holiday season without our Max Each year we ’ ve changed how we celebrate, and I anticipate that’s the way it will be for a long time. I admit to still having apprehension about the holidays because there seems to be so much societal pressure to have the “perfect” family and holiday There’s no such thing so I must remind myself it’s not necessary to chase a fantasy For those of us who have lost children, every day is difficult. It’s onlynaturalthattheholidayswouldbeespeciallyhard.
Above:A holidaycraft thatMaxhad madeduring hischildhood
Right:Erinand Max
Left:Erin
Blechman is a speaker, certified Grief Educator, and author of My pected Journey: Reflections After Losing my Son to Suicide. Her mission elevate the conversation around grief and loss, mental illness, and e. She offers grief support to bereaved parents through online groups ommunity talks that seek to build a greater understanding of s, suicide, and loss and grief. Follow her on Instagram, Facebo dIn. Find out more about Erin on her //erinblechman.com.
A Mother's World Shattered Twice...
Venetta has survived, the worst life has to offer, in her unimaginable, heart-wrenching story of the sudden deaths of her only two children, just six months apart.
Suffering excruciating pain, and grappling with complicated grief and guilt, led her to dark places.
Then, in the throes of grief, she was completely blindsided by a cruel twist that shocked people around the world
Suspicions surrounding the investigation into Brandon's death, left Venetta on a path seeking justice for years. Devon's death also sparked mysterious lingering questions.
Writing this book and sharing her story has been an overwhelmingly cathartic experience. Healing is a choice Venetta had to make Despite grief being a lifelong journey, Venetta has learned how to navigate grief and has integrated the loss of her sons into her life as she continues on her healing journey.
Her remarkable resilience offers hope and comfort to other families experiencing the unimaginable.
Venetta's story will break your heart but leave you amazed and inspired!.
E R H IT
How one Manhattan widow is reimagining her life–one boudoir shot at a time.
By: Kera Sanchez
MEET AMY–AKA JENNY MANHATTA
In the bustling heart of New York City, Amy Gabrielle (57) found herself navigating life as a widow after her husband, Steven, passed away from soft tissue sarcoma a rare disease that accounts for only 1% of all cancers worldwide. The couple received the diagnosis in 2018, and Steven succumbed to the illness in 2021 Amidst the towering skyscrapers and busy streets, Amy embarked on a surprising journey of rediscovery and self love.
Reflecting on the gradual loss of her husband, Amy recalls how Steven endured monthly chemotherapy treatments with remarkable resilience, both physically and mentally Despite their strength, the couple grieved together. Amy shares intimate moments of difficulty, such as when she broke down and Steven comforted her. "For the most part, we tried to put his diagnosis out of our minds," she says
Amy admits she eventually began to distance herself from Steven in anticipation of his death. "I thought it might hurt less if I slowly detached myself both emotionally and physically from him," she confides to Get Griefy When he died, Amy was on autopilot Prior to his death, they were in the process of selling their apartment “I finished that process alone and a few months later I had to find a new apartment near my son's school.” She emphasizes the priority of finding a new home near her son’s school “So, finding a new place to live, packing up the old apartment, buying new furniture for the new apartment. I didn't want to take anything with us; I wanted to start fresh.”
Two months after Steven died, she had to go through all his things "On a practical level, it didn't make sense to bring his clothes to an apartment where he would never live Financially, it didn't make sense either space is at a premium in NYC, and I didn't want to rent a bigger place just to store stuff that belonged to my dead husband "
In her q digital world, where she encountered the whirlwind of dating apps. Yet, amidst the sea of potential suitors, she discovered something far more profound the importance of loving oneself first. Through this realization, she embarked on a path of self-expression and authenticity One day, Amy realized how much she had disassociated from the grief and forced herself to march forward for the sake of advocating for her son; she knew something needed to change
It all started with a bold decision: to strip away the layers that had accumulated over the years, both metaphorically and literally Amy realized that moving forward meant embracing change and evolution, tapping into her primal instincts buried beneath societal expectations and personal grief "I had to really understand that no one was coming to save me There would never be another man in my life if I let my fear of being 'left' again control me. Stuff happens, most of it is out of our control, but we can choose how we react."
So, that is what Amy did "I literally and figuratively stripped down to the essence of who I am It's not that I don't care at all what other people think, but when you see someone you love have their life cut short, you realize that bravery means doing the hard thing scared. I love my body and I felt strongly that I didn't want to be seen as a middle-aged woman who should become invisible, or be told what I can and can't wear That's my online persona "
Her online persona, Jenny Manhattan MILF, embodies that newfound sense of self and independence. Her platform, unlike any other, explores the intersection between grief, sexuality, and self-love
Under the guise of her alter ego, Amy found a platform to share h j ith th ld Th h b d i t l
Amy's story resonated far beyond the confines of the city that never sleeps Through her raw honesty and vulnerability, she became a beacon of relatability in a world often clouded by perfectionism and façade. Her journey reminded others that beneath the surface, we are all navigating the complexities of life, seeking connection and understanding
As Amy Gabrielle embraced her true self, she illuminated the path for others to do the same. In a world hungry for authenticity, her story served as a reminder that true beauty lies in embracing one's flaws and imperfections, and that the journey to selfdiscovery is a deeply personal and empowering one
In February 2024 Amy started writing on Substack (amygabrielle.substack.com) when she found that her captions were running longer than the 2200 characters allowed by Instagram A first draft of all 34 chapters of her memoir-in-progress are available in addition to other articles ab Yo
er ac nd fo am @j os ar
CURATING CHILDREN’S GRIEFSUPPORT WITHPOLLEN
MichaeleneDowersisavisionaryinthefuneralindustry,mergingherdeep understanding of thanatology with a passion for education and support
As the founder of Pollen, an innovative resource for children coping with grief, she has dedicated her career to providing compassionate care to familiesintheirmostchallengingtimes.Herjourneyinthefuneralindustry is marked by a unique blend of professional expertise and a heartfelt commitment to transforming how society approaches grief, particularly foritsyoungestmembers
Michaelene's extensive background in the funeral industry is impressive, with licenses as a Funeral Director and Embalmer in seven states. Her academic achievements are equally notable, with degrees in deathrelated studies up through the master's level and her current pursuit of a PhD However, what truly sets her apart is her unwavering dedication to helping families navigate the difficult terrain of loss “My day is spent helpingfamilies Simpleasthat,”Michaelenesays Thisstraightforwardyet profoundstatementcapturestheessenceofherwork.
Eachday,shecounselsfamilies,guidingthemthroughthedelicateprocessofdiscussinglosswithyoung children in ways that are both age-appropriate and sensitive Her approach is not just about offering professionalservices;it'saboutbeingacompassionatepresenceduringtimesofprofoundsorrow
In addition to her work with families, Michaelene also teaches funeral service courses online, a role that she balances with the demanding responsibilities of running Pollen Care. “I live by the outlook calendar,” she admits, underscoring the discipline required to manage her diverse professional commitments. Yet, despiteherbusyschedule,herfocusremainsclear:providingthebestpossiblesupporttothoseinneed
Michaelene’sinterestinthanatology thestudyofdeathanddying goesbeyondprofessionalnecessity; it is a deeply personal passion “Grief as a whole is very fascinating to me,” she explains Her curiosity about how people grieve, and the societal taboos surrounding death, drives her to change the way we approachtheentireprocess.
Every individual’s experience with grief is unique, and Michaelene finds profound meaning in listening to the stories of those she meets, whether in her professional capacity or in everyday life “Even in public, when someone finds out what I do, they feel inclined to tell me things about their loved ones who have died, and I’m always eager to listen,” she says. This openness to hearing and understanding the diverse experiencesofgriefinformsherapproachtoherworkandfuelsherdeterminationtomakeadifference.
Pollen is Michaelene's brainchild, born from a desire to provide specialized grief resources for children Operating from her home, she curates a wide range of ageappropriate literature designed to help children process their grief. The service is unique in its comprehensiveness, offering books and resources that cater to different genders, causes of death, religious backgrounds, and socioeconomic levels.Thereareevenitemsdesigned for the youngest grievers, who may notyetunderstandspokenwordsbut willonedaybenefitfromthesupport theseresourcesprovide
The process of curating these materials is both thoughtful and thorough. Families visiting the Pollen Care website are asked to fill out a detailed typeform document, which gathers specific information about thechildandtheirrelationshiptothe deceased. This allows Michaelene to select the most appropriate books and resources, ensuring that each curation is tailored to the individual needsofthechild
Since founding Pollen, Michaelene haslearnedthatherworkoftengoes beyondsimplyprovidingresources.“I am entrusted with the minds of children,” she reflects This responsibility is not taken lightly, and she approaches it with the same care and respect that she brings to her work in funeral care. The insights she gains through Pollen Care have highlighted the significant need for such services, as many families struggle with how to talk to their childrenaboutdeathandgrief
Michaelene’s vision for the future of Pollen is growth She hopes to one day open a small in-person shop andtoexpandherreachnationwide Additionally, she is working on enhancing her typeform document to include support for families dealing with pregnancy and infant loss
Recognizing that grief affects everyone differently, she also aims to create a branch of Pollen Care that focuses on assisting men in their grief, acknowledging that they are often overlooked but areinjustasmuchneedofsupport
WithMichaeleneDowers,thefuneralindustryhasaleaderwhois not only well-versed in the technical aspects of her profession but also deeply committed to the emotional well-being of those she serves Through Pollen, she is making a significant impact, helping families and children navigate the difficult journey of griefwithunderstanding,compassion,andhopeforthefuture
TolearnmoreaboutPollen,visittheirwebsite,www.pollen.care andfollowalongonInstagram@Pollen.care.
Ready to Set Yourself Free??
Journey with Amanda through her awardwinning, bestselling inspirational memoir to uncover and heal limiting beliefs about love and loss by embracing radical self-worth and unconditional authenticity!
NAVIGA HOLIDA SOMATI
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“WHAT WE RESIST, PERSISTS”
Wendy’s approach encourages grievers to slow down and listen to these signals Rather than forcing yourself to meet the demands of the season, you might find that your body needs more solitude or gentler, quieter moments of reflection Somatic Grieving teaches that there is no "right" way to feel or act during the holidays. It’s about honoring where you are in your grief journey, and allowing yourself the space to experience it in your own way
“There’s no rush,” Wendy reminds those she works with “Grief has its own timeline, and it’s okay to take things as they come. The most important thing is to listen to yourself, to your body, and to what you need in any given moment ”
The heart of Wendy’s work lies in her own experience with profound loss. After Noah’s passing, she found herself in a place of deep pain, but also a desire to understand grief on a deeper level She sought out ways to heal that went beyond talking or traditional therapy, eventually discovering the transformative power of somatic practices.
Wendy's personal journey is what drives her to share these practices with others She knows firsthand how isolating grief can be, especially during times when the world expects joy and celebration. Her work isn’t about offering a quick fix or a way to "get over " loss it’s about creating a space where people can feel seen, supported, and allowed to grieve in their own time
Wendy’s offerings, such as Mindful Grieving Retreats and Community Circles, are designed to provide this space places where individuals can come together, not to receive advice or solutions, but to be held in their grief with compassion and care Her work is about allowing others the same opportunity she found in somatic grieving: the chance to connect with grief in a way that feels embodied, authentic, and ultimately healing.
As the holidays approach, Wendy’s message is clear: "You don’t have to do this alone " Whether through somatic practices or simply by honoring the signals your body is sending, there are ways to navigate this season that honor both your grief and your need for care
Wendy’s work is a reflection of her belief that grief, while deeply painful, can also be an opportunity to connect more deeply with ourselves. It’s not about overcoming loss but about learning to live with it in a way that feels more gentle, more connected, and more compassionate
For Wendy, the journey through grief is ongoing, and her mission is to offer others a pathway to healing that is as personal and unique as the grief they carry
The Center for Somatic Grieving offers a compassionate space to support your healing journey through grief. From the Awakening Through Grief Retreats on Maui and the Mindful grieving teacher training to Drop-In Community Circles and personalized 1-on-1 Somatic Grief Sessions, each offering is designed to honor both the emotional and physical dimensions of loss. To learn more, schedule a free 30-minute consultation at centerforsomaticgrieving.com or connect on Instagram @centerforsomaticgrieving.
C O L L E C T I O N
Y Grow Through
Grief is a loaded word its tragic lessons show us the undisputable truth of life It can flutter and snap like the wind, harsh and unforgiving It can also be a subtle breeze, offering an obstacle but allowing us to move through. So how do you deal with grief when it hits multiple times backto-back?
In 2019 my husband of 18 years and I had almost everything we wanted in life; a quaint peaceful home, a loving beautiful relationship, healthy family and friends And, after three miscarriages and waiting on an adoption waiting list, we were finally going to become parents Walking through the entire pregnancy with the birth mom, we were a mere six weeks away from bringing home our little girl But life had other plans.
In the midst of baby shower planning and with the baby’s room ready for our new arrival, we received the blow that my husband Mike had a deadly brain cancer known as glioblastoma We didn’t know what to do or how to handle bringing home our little girl from another state while also dealing with the reality of his diagnosis. Mike’s radiation and the myriad of medications, including a heavy dose of steroids, created obstacles we didn’t know how to tackle We decided to wait for the biopsy before telling the adoption agency the news We still wanted our little girl
What we didn’t expect was for the adoption agency to pull the plug with only a few weeks left before the due date. We had $17,000 invested and after speaking with the birth mother, she made it clear she still wanted us as the parents. But the agency said no; that Mike would die from this, and they couldn’t move forward
We decided to focus on his treatment to stay positive, and to have faith Yet I felt an onslaught of distress, fear, an odd heady sensation of doom I thought we had time, time to find a clinical trial, time to find a new treatment time to still have children Yet again life had other plans Fourteen months was all we were given before Mike succumbed to the disease after it spread to his cerebral spinal fluid (known as leptomeningeal disease) I became a widow at 43
A year after Mike’s death, our dog (the first one we ever got together) died, aged 15 5 years A year after that, a dear friend of mine died from cancer she was just 33 And, if that isn’t enough, this past January 2024, I lost one of my oldest friends to stomach cancer
If you are reading this, feeling thunderstruck you ’ re not alone I feel like the last four years are a ghostly shadow of the life that was I went from a household filled with love, friends, in law family, dogs, spouse, a child on the way, to an empty house with just myself and my one dog
So, how is it possible to pick yourself up after so much devastating loss?
For me it started with self-care. Shortly after Mike died, I made myself priority number one As his primary caregiver, I wasn’t aware of the toll it took on me physically and emotionally I put off all my own annual appointments during that time, I wasn’t eating well, I wasn’t exercising After his death, I found out I had lost nearly 12 pounds which might not sound like much, but when you only weigh 111 pounds to begin with, it’s a lot
I needed to get back on track, and that started with diet (which admittedly took a year to truly get back into the routine of)
I scheduled my mammogram, colonoscopy, annual gynecology exam, annual physical, and eye exam all within a two-month span
Next was to set up counseling I had to admit to myself that I wouldn’t be able to heal alone. I needed support, and that was the first step.
I also knew I needed to try something new A new sport, a new social group outing, something to keep me from sinking into a massive depression. Motivation to get out of the house So, I joined the rowing crew team and held myself accountable for practice three times a week
Most importantly, I knew that I needed to find a way to turn all this loss into purpose I wanted to help others navigate extreme loss That led to my media business and podcast Game On Glio
What I’ve learned? I had to fight to keep myself going I had to admit there was something to be learned from all the loss I couldn’t lose myself in the midst of it all
Life never promised it would be easy But the grace of it all is I’ve grown so much because of what I’ve gone through. I have learned what it means to be present in the moments of life I see life as this beautiful, fragile part of our journey that can offer as much as it takes away
And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be inside me
Shannon is the creator and host of The Game On Glio Podcast, ranked in the top 10% of podcasts globally and a 2023 Ignite Awards winner. She launched the podcast in memory of her late husband to support brain cancer patients, spread awareness, and share stories of grief and advocacy. Shannon is also a Young Grief and Loss Group Facilitator with Forum and has extensive media experience.
Founder of Traphagen’s Trail Ride 4 Brain Cancer, which has raised over $75,000 for clinical trials, she is an accomplished writer, public speaker, and owner of Write Life Media Marketing, LLC. Her novel *Finding Morgan: A Lefay Trilogy* has received 5-star reviews, and she is currently working on another book
For marketing inquiries, public speaking, or sponsorships, contact Shannon via email at gameongliopodcast@gmail com or on Instagram @gameongliopodcast.
Shaping Society’s Understanding of Death and Bereavement with Elreacy Dock
In the field of thanatology the study of death, dying, and bereavement, few voices stand out for their ability to merge deep academic knowledge with practical compassion as effectively as Elreacy Dock A seasoned educator, grief specialist, and advocate, Dock has dedicated her career to helping people understand one of life’s most inevitable experiences: death Through teaching, writing, and speaking, she has created a supportive space for those navigating grief and trauma, while also challenging society’s deepseated fear of death Dock shares insights into her journey, her work, and the future of thanatology.
A Journey into Thanatology
Elreacy didn't originally set out to become a thanatologist, but the career path emerged naturally over time With a background in mental health and grief education, she found herself repeatedly drawn to questions about mortality, loss, and the ways humans cope with death "There was a point when I realized that so much of my work intersected with death, whether I was coaching people through loss or teaching students about trauma," she says "I wanted to dig deeper into these themes to better support people going through some of the most difficult moments of their lives "
The study of death, dying, and grief allowed Elreacy to tap into a broader understanding of human experience, but more importantly, it provided a way to empower others "Death is something that touches everyone, but there’s so much fear and misinformation surrounding it," she explains. "My goal is to make these conversations more approachable and to normalize the fact that death, while difficult, is a natural part of life."
Exploring Cultural, Social, and Psychological Dimensions
Elreacy examines a broad range of cultural, social, and psychological aspects of death From afterlife beliefs and mourning practices to trauma responses and resilience, her work addresses the complexities of grief and loss. "Given my background in mental health, I’ve spent considerable time working with people navigating these challenges," she says. Spirituality also plays a key role, particularly for those seeking comfort in religious practices
Breaking the Stigma Around Death Education
Teaching about death is challenging in a culture that often avoids the topic. "One of the first things I do is create a safe, nonjudgmental space," Dock says. Her approach uses personal stories and real-life examples to make death more relatable, encouraging reflection on personal experiences. "We all have teachable moments in our encounters with death and grief," she adds
Impact on Students and Shifting Perspectives
As the lead instructor for the thanatology program at Capstone University, Elreacy has seen the profound impact of death education "Many students realize they’ve never fully grieved certain losses and find tools to process those emotions," she shares.
Others are challenged by new perspectives, such as on medical aid in dying "It’s rewarding to watch students become passionate about issues they hadn’t considered before."
Fostering a Compassionate Culture
Elreacy believes death education fosters a more compassionate society. "Understanding grief helps us respond more compassionately to others," she explains It also promotes cultural understanding, as learning about other death practices highlights shared human experiences.
Looking Toward the Future
Dock is focused on expanding grief education beyond the classroom. She is developing online courses and resources, including a forthcoming book exploring new dimensions of grief "Thanatology has taught me to live more mindfully and cherish my relationships," she reflects.
Through her thoughtful approach, Elreacy Dock is not only helping others understand death but also contributing to a more compassionate, openminded society one conversation at a time.
Elreacy Dock is a thanatologist, death educator, certified grief educator, and behavioral health consultant. She is the Thanatology Department Chair, Curriculum Developer, and Instructor at Capstone University. Elreacy serves on the Membership Committee for the Association of Death Education and Counseling and is a contributor at Seven Ponds. Her insights are prominently featured in international media and academic journals. You can connect with Elreacy via Instagram, X, and her website.
From ElementarySchool Teacher
By: Kimberly Rich
T O D E A T H D O U L A
I feel it in my stomach, then it works its way up to my throat. I can’t quite name it… Is it fear? Embarrassment? Shame? It’s that uncomfortable feeling that rises when someone asks about my career change:
“I heard you’re no longer at Reagan Elementary! Where are you teaching now?” “How was the first day of school?” “You left education???”
I never know what to say or how to say it. Can I mention "death" in front of their children? I could explain that I provide grief education, do legacy work those parts of my job sound less alarming, right?
Then one day, after hearing the questions for the twelfth time, I had a moment of clarity: this is the problem Death is a guaranteed part of life, yet few topics are more taboo. We need to stop avoiding the word. I need to stop avoiding the word. What I do is important it’s good work I help others People are grateful for my knowledge, my humor, my openness, and my compassion. These traits are gifts when discussing end-of-life matters. I am a death doula, and I can share that with pride
Let me tell you how I got here For 23 years, I worked in elementary schools, teaching preschool through 8th grade and holding various administrative roles. In the spring of 2021, while teaching 5th grade, my mom died unexpectedly. The shock didn’t hit me right away Like many, I went from the hospital to making phone calls, to the funeral home just 18 hours later, then to Target, then to writing the obituary, picking out clothes, planning a Mass– as Get Griefy readers, you get it.
I’ll never forget that first Thursday, the day after the funeral, two days after the wake. That’s when it finally hit. The house was quiet, my phone stopped ringing, and while everyone else returned to their lives, I showered, went downstairs, started a fire, and sat on the couch My mom was dead I didn’t know how we got here I literally didn’t know what to do next. How do I exist in a world where she doesn’t? I wanted to call her. She would know what to do. But I couldn’t I had never known a day without her in it Ever I felt empty, lost, and overwhelmingly sad
In the days and weeks that followed, I cried often. I couldn’t focus. I was overwhelmed by the post-death to-do list I felt envy, anger, jealousy emotions I wasn’t familiar with or comfortable experiencing Most of all, I felt like something was wrong with me Parents die before their children; that’s the expected timeline. I knew I’d face this grief one day, so why wasn’t I better prepared?
As a teacher, I believe in lifelong learning. If you don’t know how something works, look it up. Read a book, go online, ask an expert. The answers are out there So I started reading about grief I listened to podcasts, went to therapy Maybe if I understood grief, I’d feel better. This growing understanding sparked my curiosity about how we approach the end of life. So, I studied that too. Knowledge is power I learned that planning your own funeral can bring joy and relief I learned that accepting death can lead to a more peaceful death. I discovered that fire cremation isn’t the only option. I kept learning, and soon I was working toward a doctoral degree with a focus on grief and bereavement. Along the way, I became certified as a death doula
As I delved deeper into my studies (and wrote my dissertation), I became passionate about inspiring change. I realized I could help others move through their grief without feeling isolated I could help those at the end of life prepare, so their families could honor them in meaningful ways I could teach people how to support the grieving and, equally important, why they should never say, “They’re in a better place” (Want to know why? Reach out I have a whole speech on it!).
So today, as a doctoral graduate, I’ve left my job in elementary education and proudly serve as a death doula. I work to normalize death by fostering conversations about end-of-life care and supporting those on their end-of-life journeys. I witness the grief of the dying and their loved ones and coach organizations on how to support employees through grief I work with schools to be proactive about grief education, rather than reactive to loss. I talk about grief and death because we don’t have to be caught off guard the information is out there We just need to be willing to learn about something that feels a little scary
Kim and her mo m
Kimberly Rich is a trained death doula, certified by Deathwives in early 2024. She volunteers with a local nonprofit organization dedicated to providing expert support for those grieving, working with small groups and co-facilitating a book club focused on processing grief through both fiction and nonfiction texts. In addition, Kimberly is a member of Get Griefy magazine's Small Business Collective. She believes in supporting anyone in need and openly partners with people from all backgrounds.
melissa@theleftoverpieces.com
Because Legacy Matters Because Legacy Matters
Grief Myth Busting With Shea Wingate
A K A t h e G r i e f G i r l i e
Hi, I’m Shea, also known as The Grief Girlie. I’m a licensed therapist and grief coach, and I’ve dedicated my practice to supporting others as they navigate one of life’s most difficult experiences: grief. My passion for this work comes from my own personal grief journey.
After losing both of my parents and my older sister within a span of thirteen months, I became intimately familiar with the demands of grief. Struggling to find the right support during that painful period inspired me to create my own practice, where I aim to provide others with the compassionate, practical help I was searching for. I'm not your typical therapist I’m open about the messy and unglamorous parts of grief. I believe that finding someone who understands the deeply personal nature of loss is essential. In my work, I focus on busting some of the most common and harmful myths about grief, helping others heal and process their losses in healthy ways.
In my own experience with grief and helping others through it, I've come to realize that unaddressed grief doesn't really go away; it just waits. It waits for you to deal with it, even if that doesn't happen until years later!
Things change with time, but not necessarily for the better. Avoiding grief for years will lead to further disconnection from your loved one who passed away and from your own emotional needs.
Unaddressed grief becomes compound grief because the loss you ' re currently experiencing won't be the only one you'll face in life. I've worked with people who sought help for a recent loss, only to realize that they still have unresolved grief from years ago. It can be really overwhelming, so I encourage you to be proactive about your healing.
If you need help kickstarting the healing process, check out my Grief Myths MiniSeries. It's filled with activities designed to help you actively work through this loss. This loss is important and deserves your time, care, and attention.
y t h # 2 :
After my parents and sister died, so many people said to me, “The first year is the hardest.” That wrongly made me think I’d feel so much better after the first year. When year two came, I felt worse. The reality of their deaths set in even more, and I felt so much shame that I was still grieving.
For me and many of my clients, the first year after a loved one dies is chaotic. The time you’d like to spend grieving usually gets eaten up by the many things we have to do after a loved one dies. Like planning a funeral, settling an estate, and dealing with the daily grief fog in your brain. So, giving ourselves a limited amount of time to grieve is a recipe for disaster!
The truth is that grief lasts a lifetime. There will never be a day when I stop missing my family. So you have my permission to grieve this loss as long as you live!
If other people are uncomfortable with your grief, I encourage you to find a supportive place to take your grief. Join a grief support group or work with a grief professional like me! Having a scheduled time to check in and express your grief after the first year is so important
If you ’ re looking for guidance on your journey, Shea is here to help Grief doesn’t have an expiration date, and neither does your healing
Readers can connect with Shea on Instagram @thegriefgirlie, where she shares practical advice and tangible support for all types of grief In addition to her social media presence, Shea offers one-on-one grief counseling and has a downloadable course available for those seeking more personalized help. Visit her website, www.thegriefgirlie.com to stay updated on future resources, including her free grief myths guide, access to The Grief Club community, and subscribe to her email list.
ON RESILIENCE with Julia Krispeal
MEET JULIA KRISPEAL, A LUXURY REAL ESTATE AGENT AND ALS WIDOW WARRIOR, SPREADING A MESSAGE OF HOPE, RESILIENCE, AND HUSTLE AFTER LOSS. AFTER LOSING HER HUSBAND TO ALS, JULIA TURNED HER PAIN INTO PURPOSE, BALANCING A SUCCESSFUL CAREER WHILE RAISING TWO BOYS. SHE NOW INSPIRES OTHERS TO PUSH FORWARD, REBUILD, AND LIVE WITH STRENGTH AND DETERMINATION, NO MATTER THE CHALLENGES
In the face of life’s most profound challenges, there are moments that break you and moments that forge an unshakable strength For Julia Krispeal, her journey is a testament to the latter As a devoted mother to two incredible boys, Jordan and Jaxon, Julia’s life was forever changed when her husband, Sol, was diagnosed with ALS at the age of 40 Once the perfect picture of a vibrant, young family partners in life and business, traveling the world, embracing new experiences, and soaking up the joys of raising their children But everything shifted when ALS entered their lives, pulling their dreams in an unexpected direction
Julia had to confront the unimaginable. With a 3 ½-year-old and a 1-year-old at her side, she faced the reality of caring for her husband through the relentless progression of this debilitating disease. Sol fought bravely for 6 ½ years, defying odds with his strength, but the toll was heavy. Through it all, Julia remained steadfast not only as a caregiver but as a wife and mother determined to keep the love and spirit of their family alive, even in the darkest moments. Together, they learned how to find joy in the little things, how to laugh despite the pain, and how to make every day meaningful, no matter the obstacles
When Sol passed, Julia’s world shattered. But she did not stay broken She had two boys who needed her, and she knew that the only way forward was to continue the legacy of love and resilience that she and Sol had built together Julia leaned into the lessons she had learned throughout their battle with ALS: that life is fragile, that every moment is precious, and that even when faced with heartache, there is still room for hope, growth, and new beginnings
Now, as a solo parent and thriving real estate entrepreneur, Julia has turned her personal journey into one of purpose She is driven by the belief that even in loss, there is the possibility of renewal Her story is not just one of survival but one of rediscovering joy, rebuilding a future for her family, and inspiring others to approach life with the same resilience and grace
Today, Julia’s life is a beautiful balance of raising Jordan and Jaxon with a deep sense of love and adventure, traveling to stay grounded in the memories of the life she shared with Sol, and building a successful real estate career that allows her to help others find their own homes and create their own moments of meaning Through her work, she aims to provide not just a service, but an experience filled with empathy, care, and understanding because she knows firsthand the importance of having a place where memories are made and loved ones are cherished
Julia Krispeal’s journey is one of hope: a reminder that even when life takes its most painful turns, it is still possible to find beauty, to create something lasting, and to keep moving forward with courage and an open heart
A Profound Shift in Perspective
Sol’s ALS diagnosis brought immense emotional and practical challenges. In the beginning, they were in denial, determined to be the family that found a miracle cure They traveled across the country, seeking the best medical care and exploring alternative treatments But as Sol’s condition progressed, reality set in Their world shifted again when Sol went into cardiac arrest and respiratory failure, returning on a ventilator Life became about adapting to new realities moving into a fully accessible home and managing round-the-clock care
Despite these hurdles, Julia’s advice to others facing similar battles is simple: focus on creating memories and giving your person all the love and strength you can Time is precious, and those cherished moments will stay with you forever For Julia, caring for Sol profoundly changed her outlook on life She learned how fragile time can be and the importance of living intentionally, whether it’s making decisions for her family’s future or spending quality time with her boys The experience also gave her an unmatched resilience, which she now brings to all areas of her life
Finding Purpose Through Real Estate
Julia’s journey into real estate was born out of her natural entrepreneurial spirit. Coming from a corporate background in Meetings & Events, she found herself at a crossroads when COVID-19 paused her business
Real estate became the perfect avenue, allowing her to connect with people, help them build their futures, and create something meaningful in the wake of her loss
Raising two young boys after Sol’s passing wasn’t easy, but Julia found her strength in them She wanted to show Jordan and Jaxon that even after great loss, you can rebuild and thrive Real estate gave her the flexibility to balance work and family, all while continuing to grow both personally and professionally
In a short time, Julia has sold over $90 million in sales a testament to her dedication and drive. She’s also been a public speaker, sharing her personal story and raising awareness about ALS and widowhood on platforms like American Dream TV, podcasts, and social media Through it all, Julia remains focused on creating a lasting impact in her career, fueled by her own experiences of loss, love, and perseverance
A journey through the years with Julia and Sol, capturing cherished memories and the transition to life as a widow and mother of two
A Compassionate Approach to Real Estate
Julia’s journey has shaped how she works with clients, particularly those navigating major life transitions Her own experiences have taught her empathy, patience, and the importance of listening Julia understands that buying or selling a home isn’t just a transaction it’s often part of a bigger life story, and she’s honored to be part of that journey with her clients. Her time as a caregiver has also sharpened her attention to detail and problem-solving skills, qualities she brings to every real estate deal to ensure her clients feel supported through every step of the process.
Looking to the Future
For Julia, the future is bright She’s excited about new projects, including expanding her speaking engagements to share her experiences on adversity and personal growth Her goal is to leave a legacy that transcends real estate, one that reflects her resilience, compassion, and commitment to helping others navigate life’s toughest challenges. Whether through community initiatives, business ventures, or simply sharing her story, Julia hopes to inspire others to live fully, love deeply, and approach every challenge with purpose and strength
Stay tuned there’s much more to come from Julia Krispeal as she continues to build a life and business that’s impactful, inspiring, and full of heart
Julia Krispeal is a luxury real estate agent, public speaker, and Host of American Dream TV, as well as a passionate advocate for ALS awareness Based in Long Island, she has built a flourishing career in real estate, helping others find their dream homes with dedication and care
In addition to her professional success, Julia is a devoted mother to two boys and a powerful source of inspiration for those facing life’s toughest challenges Whether sharing her journey through widowhood or raising awareness about ALS, she emphasizes the importance of strength, resilience, and creating a meaningful life after loss
Follow her on Instagram, where she inspires her followers through both her personal journey and her professional accomplishments.
@Juliakrispeal
GET GRIEFY’S
Whether you ’ re looking to help a grieving friend or support small businesses born from a grief journey, Get Griefy has you covered this holiday season.
What better gift than one of healing, relaxation, or overall wellness? Your gift recipient may use Her/His certificate toward any of our services or classes, and can be used by both our local and global clients for in-person or distance sessions, including services and classes in the fields of coaching, energy medicine, and mediumship My Unexpected Journey: Reflections After Losing My Son to Suicide FOR
Written by Erin Blechman A beautiful, heartfelt book by author, speaker, and Grief Educator, Erin Blechman. It is a boldly honest perspective from a grieving mother following the loss of her eldest son, Max, to suicide in 2020. The book chronicles the eighteen months following his death, and shares what Erin has learned about mental illness, suicide, and loss and grief as she navigates life without her beloved son. The book is written as a series of journal entries and includes beautiful illustrations and family photos.
Available on Amazon Gift certificate to Healing Services with The Five Facets of Healing’s Annah Elizabeth
insta: @erin.blechman site: erinblechman.com
insta: @annahelizabethheals site: thefivefacetsofhealing com facebook: facebook com/AnnahElizabethHealGrief/
A
Healing Comfort Care Box
By Dragonfly Vibes
The Healing Comfort Care Box is a thoughtfully curated collection designed to provide moments of peace, relaxation, and self-care. Inside, you’ll find soothing items like a scented candle, a hydrating rose water facial toner, and a luxurious bath soak, all chosen to help ease stress and tension This also includes tools for emotional healing, such as an inspiring journal and an affirmation card deck, encouraging reflection and positive thinking Whether you ’ re grieving or simply in need of comfort, this box offers gentle support and care that can be enjoyed throughout the year
Memory Feather Ornament
by Angie Hanson of Butterflies and Halos
This ornament is a tribute to loved ones who have become our special angels. It features a shatterproof, 2.65-inch round design, filled with one or two white feathers and a touch of iridescent glitter. It comes with a white ribbon for hanging and is packaged in a white gift box with red or green tissue paper, a red satin bow, and a small card with the saying that reads:
“This feather fell from Heaven from your special angel. This keepsake ornament will be a reminder to you for years to come that your angel is watching over you and your family from above May it bring you peace from year to year ”
insta: @butterfliesandhalos site: butterfliesandhalos com
NOSTALGIC GRIEVERS
ABCs of Grief- Children’s Book Gift Certificate for a Custom Photo Album
by Shoebox Albums
Shoebox Albums specializes in creating customdesigned photo albums that beautifully capture the essence of your loved ones ’ lives Each album is tribute, carefully curated using your personal photos and stories, ensuring that cherished memories are preserved for generations
A Gift Certificate for a Custom Photo Album offers a thoughtful way to give the gift of remembrance It allows recipients to create their own unique photo book when they’re ready, making it a perfect present for someone seeking to celebrate special memories or honor a loved one
insta: @shoebox albums site: www.shoeboxalbums.com facebook: facebook.com/shoeboxalbums
The ABCs of Grief is a children’s book that walks through each letter of the alphabet to unpack different aspects of the grief experience
Grief is messy, confusing, and overwhelming for all ages but especially young children who are trying to make sense of the big changes and losses happening around them. This children’s book helps kids process their grief through simple, relatable, child-friendly language and imagery.
Topics Explored through the letters A-Z:
What are some situations that one can find themselves grieving? What does grief feel like emotionally and physically? What does the word grief mean?
What are some common experiences or reactions while grieving? What can help me through my grief?
Signed Author Copy Available Here or on Amazon insta: @kidsgriefsupport | site: kidsgriefsupport.com
LOVED ONE, AND WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE.
Your Loved One | A Book of Stories
by Forced Joy Project
Book of Stories is a memorial keepsake book that captures the memories of loved ones through collective storytelling from friends and family. When we lose someone, stories are the greatest gift we are left with. It is the stories and memories that honor the life that was lived. Capturing these stories - from the childhood friend to the college roommate - allows loved ones to hear new memories and revisit those moments over and over again. Flowers are temporary. Stories are forever. Give the gift of stories.
How it works:
Step 1: Purchase a book of stories to commemorate a loved one
Step 2: Receive your unique submission link and your virtual toolkit to help guide the process
Step 3: Connect with friends and family, asking them to contribute a story via the link provided.
Step 4: Enjoy your beautiful bound keepsake book!
Available at forcedjoyproject.com/book-of-stories-intro insta:@forcedjoyproject
FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO CLING TO JOY AND FIND THE LIGHT.
Joy Still Exists Sweatshirt
by Forced Joy Project
Sometimes we all need a reminder that in tough times, “joy still exists ”
Spun from plush sponge fleece fabric, this remarkably soft, ethically sourced, unisex pullover crewneck sweatshirt lends itself to daily wear and year-round layering
Each eco-friendly, fleece sweatshirt is screenprinted by the fine people at SMPLFD Printing in Detroit, so by purchasing this item, you ’ re supporting two small businesses! 100% No Sweatshops & Eco-Friendly.
Available at forcedjoyproject com/shop insta:@forcedjoyproject
By Suhay Gonzalez
When founder, Suhay Gonzalez lost her mom to brain cancer in 2018, she made the conscious decision to convert her sadness into something creative and exceptionally beautiful Her mission is to overall provide superior products and donate a portion of all sales to brain tumor awareness and Glioblastoma tumor research; funds will go towards funding cutting edge global research in effort to find a cure in honor of her mother.
insta: @seis cosmetics site: seiscosmetics com facebook: facebook com/seiscosmeticsllc
by A Touch of Teddy
Support Infancy and pregnancy loss nonprofit, a Touch of Teddy and customize a tumbler for someone you love this holiday season! Check out the options or reach out to Liza for other custom options!
insta: @atouchofteddy website: atouchofteddy org
from Beyond Words Co.
A custom care package is the most personal way to support someone We tailor to the situation, age of recipient, and incorporate favorite colors, scents, and items It’s an easy and reassuring experience In addition to individuals, we design packages for children, families, and accommodate those with dietary restrictions or preferences, and/ or strict medical considerations Simply Select your price point and beyond words will send you a preview If you approve, your package will be shipped to your loved one!
Available at beyondwordsco.com/custom insta: @beyondwordsco
by Barri Leiner Grant of The Memory Cirle
The deck has been crafted to honor grief daily. Each with a thought provoking prompt that invites writing, movement, taps intuition imaginings and dreams. These cards are an extension of Barri’s workshops and gatherings 50 cards each with a prompt bathed in a variety of exercises to reflect and metabolize what we are holding while always keeping the spirit and celebration of those lost and loved alive
Available on Barri’s ite thememorycircle.com insta:@thememorycircle
Legacy Letters Guided Journals
From Get Griefy founder, Kera Sanchez Legacy Letters Guided Journal :
Our legacy continues long after we ’ re gone… We make the memories, take the photographs, and tell the stories to always remember life’s most beautiful moments…but what if we could capture our thoughts, advice, and words of encouragement too? How much could you have benefited from this while grieving a loved one? How therapeutic would it be to know your words will still reach those you love most long after you leave?
The circle of life will touch us all Leave your legacy
Leave love for those who remain
Includes:
instructions and considerations
55+ unique and whimsical journal prompts
Blank journal space for leaving notes to loved ones
Blank journal space for memories
Available on Amazon insta: @legacylettersjournal
Because grief doesn’t take a holiday… 25% off any 1:1 service Valid through 1/30/2025
Whether you ’ re barely hanging onto the holiday spirit or just craving a quiet moment, give yourself (or someone you love) the gift of making space for your grief and the freedom to simply be.
Available here: griefandlight com/heart-to-heart insta: @griefandlight
FOR A GRIEVING CHILD WHO WANTS TO KEEP THE MEMORY OF A LOVED ONE ALIVE.
Eden and Ellie’s Christmas is Not the Same FOR SENTIMENTAL GRIEVERS WHO LOVE COZY COMFORT.
Custom photo outline emboridered sweatshirt
by Riley’s Embroidery
Cherish a memory of a loved one by getting it embroidered on a sweatshirt you can cozy up with. Send in a photo and Riley’s embroidery will create a custom outline of the image and embroider it on a sweatshirt of your choice!
For custom orders, reach out to Riley’s Embroidery directly on Instagram @rileys embroidery
by In Memory of You, Autumn and Brandon Cohen
A gentle story for families experiencing the death of a family member, friend, or pet during the holidays Follow along Eden’s grieving journey as she remembers her loved one this Christmas season Eden and her cat, Ellie, discover ways to cope with their loss by baking, crafting, and exploring!!
This book contains many happy-sad moments: Joy can be found, but the Christmas spark feels a bit different now that their gone
Available here: insta: @inmemoryofyoubook
Kip’s Chips Cookies
For Luna Peak Foundation
Created out of love from a secret family recipe These cookies commemorate founder, Gracelyn Bateman’s late father, and give back to the Luna Peak Foundation, a Charity that serves families affected by Cancer and Grief
Available at: lunapeakfoundation org/kipschips insta: @lunapeakfoundation Grief is a Sneaky Bitch
by End Well’s Keynote Speaker, Lisa Keefauver
Give your grieving loved ones the gift of compassion, insight, and humor this holiday season with Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss In place of rigid instructions and must-do checklists, author Lisa Keefauver writes as your wise best friend, inviting reflection and exploring the therapeutic power of humor with, yes, a bit of profanity Lisa shares her personal and professional wisdom alongside the lessons she’s learned from clinicians, authors, poets, and friends, making this guide a true companion on the grieving journey for you and your loved ones alike
Available here: University of Texas Press and lisakeefauver.com insta: @lisakeefauvermsw
‘tis the season for you
By: Annah Elizabeth
5 TIPS TO NAVIGATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH CONFIDENCE, GRACE AND EASE
Let’s face it, Neighbor, though "The Holidays" and other celebratory events are often associated with family, friends, fellowship, and joy, they also tend to bring with them their fair share of stress, strife, fears, frets, and seemingly-forever to-do-lists.
Toss in the effects of conflict and grief due to some Life Loss event, and The Holidays can leave you feeling overwhelmed in details, overwrought with emotions, and maybe even feeling downright dread in the days leading up to the associated festivities.
Here’s what I learned in the wake of a seven-year string of Significant Life Loss events, Neighbor. ‘Tis the season to wrap up your holidays with five gifts that are sure to help you navigate the seasons with a little more confidence, grace, and ease.
‘tis
the Season for asking for help
If you’re struggling in some way, chances are people around you are aware, and many may have been asking how they can help.
If you're yearning to put up those decorations, but don’t have the energy or inclination to do it alone, invite a friend or two to join you for a few hours. Put on a fresh pot of coffee or break out the tea as you and your confidantes trim your house for the holidays What is it you would like to do? Cleaning? Cooking/Baking? Shopping? Light peeping? Ask someone to join you!
Asking for help is not only a sign of your strength and courage, Neighbor, it is a way of empowering yourself and giving the gift of giving to someone close to you
‘tis the Season for being flexible
I used to decorate my home inside and out and would bake more than thirty-dozen cookies and mini loaves of banana bread, which I merrily distributed near and far The year my husband and I separated, and in the three years during the divorce despair, I couldn’t bring myself to do any of it, except for putting out a tiny, tabletop tree whose twinkling lights somehow found their way into my battered heart and soul.
Being flexible is a valuable trait, and it amplifies during grief You never know when something will spontaneously trigger a memory, sadness, fatigue, or when you will have sudden bursts of inspiration and energy. Allowing yourself the space and grace to be fluid honors what you want and need, helping you manage stress
Flexibility can take the form of modifying any aspect of your life: social activities, long-standing raditions, how much you sleep or nap or soak in a warm bath, and alterations to any routine you may currently have set
‘tis the Season for letting go.
The term, “letting go,” used to infuriate me It’s bandied around like confetti, and it never resonated with me, not until I began to look at it from the perspective of what I will and won’t allow, especially when it comes to expectation. Too many of us put far too much pressure on ourselves, especially when it comes to customs, traditions, and expectations, from both ourselves, and others.
Letting go of the expectation that we need/have to or should do what we ’ ve always done is a huge start, Neighbor, as those are living according to someone else’s will Deciding what you want and/or need to do for yourself empowers you and creates more ease in your day.
‘tis the Season for self-care
Taking care of yourself is no longer considered selfishly bad Airlines instruct us to ‘Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others” Monks spend so much time in meditation and self-care so that they are in the best energetic state to serve others.
Being okay with not being okay is but one form of self-care. A few others include remembering that ‘no’ is a full sentence; graciously declining invitations; extra sleep; walks in nature; limiting or omitting your annual greeting card send-outs and the functions you participate in Taking care of your own needs and wants is a beneficial gift of healing
‘tis the Season for setting boundaries
Setting boundaries is one of the simplest ways to accomplish your desired goals.
One of the first concepts to understand when it comes to happiness and setting boundaries is that the only person's joy you can control is your own.
You can set boundaries about how much food you cook, bake, and eat; how many, and which festivities you will attend; how much shopping you do; how you will protect your sleep and your quiet time, or whatever else is your thing.
When you can understand that you are not responsible for someone else's happiness, you are able to set boundaries that foster your own healing
YOU are more important than any material expectation or that of another Neighbor. Creating ease in your day helps create confidence, which in turn puts you in a state of grace.
PREGNANCY LOSS AND MY CHILDREN’S GRIEF
By: Irma Prosser
I grieve for my children I never knew So do my daughters
When I was first told I would be infertile as a teenager, I didn’t think much of it I wasn’t the girl to play with baby dolls and having kids was nowhere on the horizon So after getting married and seeing those two pink lines in my bathroom at 4am, I was shocked That memory is ingrained within me So is the weird pregnancy symptom of the taste of pennies and that one time I barely made it to throw up in a coffee shop bathroom before a student arrived for tutoring
But more so is the feeling of grief during my entire pregnancy knowing something was wrong. Seeing the heartbeat on ultrasound didn’t ease my worries. I knew I would miscarry But I didn’t realize I would miscarry three times in my life And I didn’t know I would have to forge a path of teaching my living children how to process their grief over the siblings they never had.
To say pregnancy loss broke me is an understatement Something I never thought was possible was taken from me three times. I do not discount the miracles that are my two living children But the deep changes in me require me to designate which of my children are living versus nonliving
When I had my two living children, I never wanted them to feel the pain I did. I do not assume they will experience pregnancy loss (though the statistics suggest they might) and I don’t assume they will hurt as deeply as I did (because each person’s grief journey is unique regardless of personal belief or physical recovery) However, I can equip them to better support themselves and others who undergo pregnancy loss.
So in my house, we grieve pregnancy loss openly We discuss their siblings with curiosity We learn about female anatomy and blastocysts
We wonder about how life would be different and how it would be the same if their three siblings were alive We feel jealousy over big families with minivans and we feel content when budgeting two birthday parties instead of five We use “I feel” statements during arguments and set boundaries when any one of us is having a hard day
And we find quiet meditation in questions that have no easy answers such as:
“Mom, what if I was the one who died in your womb?”
“Would you still act like you if I wasn’t alive?”
“Are you sad that I got to live but my brother didn’t?”
“Would I still be best friends with my sister if I had more siblings to choose from?”
As an adult, I find these questions heavy and hard to think through So as my children ask me these types of questions, I allow them to sit in the heaviness, to see me clarify and explain why it is hard to answer, and to practice wrestling with hard concepts in a safe environment I want them to know that they are loved, their opinions are valid, and their emotional capacity will change in various ways as they age And most importantly, we demonstrate that we are all capable of supporting each other and ourselves
I do not force this grief upon them nor do I belabor the trauma that occurred within my body. But I give myself permission to be the primary model of grief in their young lives. They are allowed to see me struggle, cry, and laugh. Not because I am a weak mother, but because strong mothers are authentic, honest in their apologies, and purposeful with their mental health
And if you are a mother struggling to speak about pregnancy loss with your children, I invite you to inhale new air around you and exhale away any expectations you have of yourself There is an army of families ready to support you and your children today
HEALING WITH HEARTSTRINGS
Created by Shawn Dinneen after the tragic loss of her fiancé, HeartStrings Journals offers a compassionate path forward.
Journaling is a powerful tool that can help transform grief into a journey of growth and self-discovery.
Embrace the comfort of putting pen to paper, and knowing you're not alone on this journey. Let HeartStrings help you find hope, connection, and healing.
Gratitude
NAVIGATING “THEGRIEFFRAMEWORK” WITHBLAIRKAPLANVENABLES
Reintroducingthe BritishColumbiabasedgriefand resilienceexpert, motivational speakerandthe FounderofThe GlobalResilience Project. (Ohyeah,and GetGriefy’sIssue 2covergirl–Comingbackto shareher wisdomwith readers)
G) Grounding in the Present
Grounding in the Present is the stage that encourages the practice of mindfulness to stay anchored in the current moment Mindfulness allows us to manage overwhelming emotions and find solace in the present High-performing people often struggle to slow down and process their feelings However, mindfulness can be a powerful tool in their healing journey
You only experience your death once in a lifetime. But not grief. It can happen over and over again in various capacities. Grief is an intricate and deeply personal journey. It can be an especially challenging terrain for high-performing people who often juggle multiple responsibilities and expectations. I inevitably became the person that I wish I had by my side while navigating compound grief while running my own business. In the span of a few years, my husband almost died, we suffered a miscarriage, three weeks later, my father-inlaw died, three months later, my mother died, and not even a year later, my dad died.
I’m a Public Relations and Social Media Expert by choice but a Grief and Resilience Expert by circumstance, and became the Founder of The Global Resilience Project and a Grief and Resilience Coach I also stepped into the prestigious role as your griefy bff who will hold your hand while you navigate life after loss I also created the Navigating Grief Framework, which offers a structured path to healing that acknowledges the unique pressures we face while dealing with a loss.
Based on research, neuroscience and lived experience, this framework acts as a guide during your darkest hours and it spells out the word “GRIEF,” so it’s easier to remember.
Grief isn’t linear, and neither is your healing, so follow this framework in whatever order you choose.
Additionally, maintaining a simple daily routine provides structure and a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of grief. High performers may be tempted to push themselves harder during difficult times, but sticking to a routine can offer stability and help in managing the ups and downs of grief A suggested part of this routine is engaging in a daily gratitude practice can also be transformative, shifting the focus from loss to appreciation for the things that still bring joy.
(R) Resilience Muscle Routine
The Resilience Muscle Routine emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and expressing your feelings. High-performers often feel the need to appear strong and puttogether, but it's crucial to recognize that grieving is a natural and necessary process. Suppressing emotions can hinder healing, so finding healthy outlets like journaling, art, or confiding in a trusted friend can be immensely therapeutic
We all have a resilience muscle and like any muscle, it requires regular exercise to make it stronger Selfcare is vital during this time, encompassing activities like moving your body, spending time outdoors, properly fuelling your body and ensuring that you have adequate sleep is imperative. Journaling, listening to positive and empowering music, and sharing your story can all contribute to building your resilience muscle.
(I) Introspection for Understanding
The Introspection for Understanding element encourages reflection on the loss and its impact on your life
High-performers may find it challenging to allocate time for selfreflection, but it's a crucial step in the healing process Reflect on both the pain and the cherished memories associated with the loss
Reconnecting with your personal values and beliefs can provide comfort and purpose during grief. Sometimes, revisiting your core values can help you find meaning even in the midst of profound sorrow.
(E) Engagement with Support Systems
The Engagement with Support Systems stage encourages you to actively seek and engage with supportive communities. We often have busy lives, but isolation can intensify grief. Reach out to friends, family, support groups, coaches or professional mental health professionals who can provide the necessary emotional support.
Helping others can also be therapeutic Offering your support to those in need can create a sense of purpose and connection during a difficult time
(F) Forward Movement
Forward Movement encourages setting realistic goals to foster a sense of progress and accomplishment. While achievers may be accustomed to achieving ambitious goals, in the context of grief, it's essential to start with small, manageable objectives.
Adapting to the ' new normal' is another crucial aspect of moving forward. It's about understanding that healing doesn't mean forgetting; rather, it's about finding a way to carry the memory of the lost loved one into the future.
Finding new meaning in life is the ultimate goal of this stage Exploring new activities, hobbies, or causes can bring renewed joy and purpose Building new connections and discovering passions can be instrumental in the healing process
The Navigating Grief Framework recognizes that grief is a personal journey, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution Each of our experiences of grief is unique in its own way, varying in both intensity and duration By following the Navigating Grief Framework, you can find a structured path to healing that acknowledges your specific challenges while honouring your individual journeys through grief It's a testament to your resilience and strength that you can not only navigate but also emerge from grief with newfound wisdom and purpose
Blair Kaplan Venables is a British Columbia-based grief and resilience expert, motivational speaker and the Founder of The Global Resilience Project Her expertise has been featured in media outlets, including Forbes, CBC Radio, Entrepreneur, and Thrive Global She is named the Top Grief and Resilience Expert of the Year 2024 by IAOTP USA Today listed Blair as one of the top 10 conscious female leaders to watch and she empowers others to be resilient from stages around the world 'MyStory,’ which is a television show available on Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV+ and Google Play, showcases Blair's life story She is the host of the Radical Resilience podcast, a motivational speaker and bestselling author She specializes in helping people strengthen their resilience muscle using scientifically proven methods and guides grieving high performers with her Navigating Grief Framework The Global Resilience Project’s award-winning books are international bestsellers, and her fourth book, RESILIENT A F : Stories of Resilience Vol 2, will be released in January 2025 In her free time, you can find Blair writing, travelling the world and helping people through their most challenging moments
In Fall of 2024, Blair and her sister Alana (Mental Health Director of GRP) were invited to participate in the Harvest Emmys Gifting Suite, spreading their word about resilience and their best-selling books on Resilience to well-known names in Hollywood
FClickheretoparticipatein outureeditionsofResilientAF Rrtolearnmoreaboutbeing esilient, followtheGlobalIResilienceProjecton @nstagramGlobalresiliencecommunity
Cohabitating with Grief
In the wake of deep personal loss, Crystal Dalton found herself standing at a crossroad, one where the echoes of grief collided with her lifelong purpose Founder of Cohabitating with Grief, Dalton has transformed her profound sorrow into a mission to support others on their own grief journeys. But her story is not just about loss it's a tale of resilience, courage, and the power of healing, reminding us that even amidst the darkest times, there is space for renewal.
Crystal’s path to healing didn’t start after her mother’s sudden death in 2021, though that marked a turning point For over seven years, she worked as a lawenforcement-based victim advocate for the Delaware State Police, where she was no stranger to trauma Her role involved offering resources and comfort to survivors of crime, standing by families during moments of unimaginable pain. The demands of the job being present at crime scenes, hospitals, and delivering death notifications took a toll on her mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Yet, through it all, she was supported by the unwavering encouragement of her mother, who was her biggest cheerleader
However, when her mother passed away just two months after Crystal started a new, less taxing role, everything shifted. “I had experienced death professionally more than most people,” Crystal recalls. “But nothing prepared me for the loss of my mom. It was a gut-punch.” In the immediate aftermath, she grappled with a whirlpool of emotions shock, confusion, anger, and a sadness so deep it defied description The grief was overwhelming, but within that grief, a spark ignited
Crystal knew she needed a change She had already cofounded The Healing Cottage, a social justice-oriented holistic healing space, with her best friend Jenn. But her mother’s passing propelled her toward a more personal mission one rooted in her own healing and in helping others who were grieving. "I decided to leave my job and follow a new path," she says. "I had recently completed my Yoga Teacher Training (YTT), and teaching yoga had started to feel like my true calling "
Yoga had always been a sanctuary for Crystal a space where she could process the heavy emotional toll of her previous job, find solace in nature, and reconnect with herself Her decision to teach yoga full-time was more than a career shift; it was a leap of faith, a way to step fully into the healing space she so desperately needed. “My mom’s death shook me to my core, but it also gave me clarity,” she reflects. “I wanted to help people heal in a holistic way, just as I was trying to heal myself.”
In December 2021, Crystal officially left her job and immersed herself in a new chapter She began working part-time for Jenn’s therapy practice, which gave her the flexibility to focus on her own healing During this time, she also explored her grief in nature and yoga, slowly stumbling her way through the unfamiliar terrain of life as a motherless daughter. Her grief wasn’t something she aimed to escape it was something she chose to embrace, to sit with, and eventually, to transform.
It wasn’t long before new opportunities found their way to her The Healing Cottage secured contracts to teach restorative and trauma-informed yoga, offering support to both students and survivors of sexual assault. Crystal found deep fulfillment in these experiences. “Sharing yoga with others has been one of the most rewarding parts of my life,” she says. “I love holding space for people and encouraging them to slow down, breathe, and rest.”
As she navigated her personal grief, she realized that her passion extended beyond yoga she wanted to work specifically within the grief space In 2023, Crystal completed a 12-week Grief Educator Certification program under the guidance of renowned grief expert David Kessler. “The moment I started the program, I knew I had found my calling,” Crystal explains. “I wanted to create a safe space where grief could be witnessed and validated.”
This realization led to the birth of Cohabitating with Grief, a platform that offers person-centered grief support, small group healing circles, and naturebased community grief walks. Crystal’s approach is rooted in the understanding that grief is not something to be "fixed." Rather, it is a lifelong companion that changes shape over time. “Society often views grief as a problem to solve,” she says. “But grief is part of life it’s not something that needs a solution It needs space, time, and a community to hold it ”
Through Cohabitating with Grief, Crystal is doing just that offering the space and time for people to explore their grief in a way that feels right to them. Whether it’s through a 1:1 support session, a healing yoga class, or a walk through nature, she is helping others feel seen and supported, just as she has learned to support herself.
Crystal’s journey serves as a reminder that healing is not linear it’s an ebb and flow, filled with highs and lows But in each breath, each moment of stillness, and each step taken in nature, there is a chance for renewal “We have to feel it to heal it,” Crystal says. And in feeling her own grief so deeply, she’s created a life that honors both her mother’s memory and her own growth a life where grief and joy can coexist, and where healing is a lifelong journey
Crystal Dalton’s story is not just about loss; it’s about hope, resilience, and finding purpose in the aftermath. Through her work, she is paving the way for others to find light after loss, and in doing so, she’s become a beacon of hope for her community
Crystal Dalton is the founder of Cohabitating with Grief and cofounder of The Healing Cottage. She provides compassionate grief support and healing services through yoga, intuitive movement, and community grief walks. As a Certified Grief Educator and Trauma-Informed Yoga Instructor, Crystal helps others navigate their grief journeys with care and understanding. She also co-hosts the Meet Me at The Cottage podcast, offering insights into healing and wellness
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Danielle DesRosier, known affectionately as "Little Orphan Dani" on social media, is a woman whose life has been profoundly shaped by grief yet fueled by resilience, compassion, and a deep desire to help others heal Having lost both of her parents at a young age, Danielle has navigated the complex terrain of grief and emerged as a voice for those who feel lost in their own. Today, she is a Certified Grief Educator, a peer support group leader, and a Marriage and Family Therapy student at Pepperdine University Through her blog and social media presence, she shares her story openly, giving others the courage to confront their own grief.
Danielle often speaks about the deep love she shared with her parents, Charlie and Rhonda DesRosier "I am the luckiest girl in the world to have been blessed with 20 years with my amazing parents," she says. “Those 20 years were filled with more love, smiles, and warmth than some people know in a lifetime ” Her dad, Charlie, was a man who "never met a stranger," a devoted 49ers fan who walked two miles a day and drank McDonald’s Diet Coke religiously Her mom, Rhonda, was a joyful spirit who believed in random acts of kindness, constantly singing to 70s music with a glass of chardonnay in hand.
Though their lives were filled with happiness, Danielle's world changed when her father passed away from cancer during her junior year in college. Only a few months later, her mother suddenly died of a pulmonary embolism. As an only child, Danielle was devastated. "My biggest fear was always losing my parents, and that fear became my reality "
The grief that followed her parents’ deaths was multifaceted Danielle describes it as three separate griefs: "the grief of losing my dad, the grief of losing my mom, and the grief of losing both of my parents." Each one felt distinct. Her father’s death, a six-month decline, brought feelings of depression and despair. The grief over her mother’s sudden death was dominated by anxiety "My mom went from having a clean bill of health on Monday to dying on Friday," she recalls, the shock of her mother's sudden loss amplifying her pain
In those early days and weeks, Danielle admits she didn’t know how to cope with losing one parent, let alone both. "When my dad died, my mom told me over and over that we will get through it because we have each other She was right, but she didn’t know how short forever would be "
The first year after her parents’ passing was a whirlwind of activity, which allowed Danielle to avoid confronting her grief directly. "I traveled nearly every week, was surrounded by loved ones, and continued with school and work," she says. But once life slowed down after college, the full weight of her grief set in. "I felt suffocated by it. Everywhere I looked, I saw death I couldn’t even walk into my parents' house without breaking down "
Eventually, Danielle made the bold decision to move to Southern California, a place where the memories of her parents wouldn’t haunt her daily life. This move, she says, was a turning point. "The pain moved with me, but here, I was open to healing."
One of the most powerful shifts in Danielle’s life came when she decided to befriend her grief rather than run from it "I realize it will be with me for the rest of my life," she says, "so I’ve made it my mission to integrate it into my greater purpose." This realization inspired her to start a grief-focused blog and turn her Instagram into what she calls her "Griefstagram," where she shares both the highs and lows of her grief journey.
Initially, Danielle had tried to find online resources that would help her navigate caregiving and anticipatory grief while her father was in hospice, but she came up empty It was this gap in available support that led her to create her blog, Danielle Believes. Today, her social media presence has connected her with a large community of people who feel comforted by her raw honesty. "People resonate with the way I share my grief in its rawest form," she explains "It normalizes grief for others "
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Grief is like an uninvited guest at a party: it shows up unexpectedly, overstays its welcome, and makes a mess of everything This is especially true for Lisa Jones, Instagram’s Hostess with the most-ess, when grief barged in and flipped her life upside down But in true Lisa fashion, she found a way to reset the place settings, navigate the heartbreak with a dash of humor, a killer margarita recipe, and maybe a little help from her dog, Wally.
Before grief hit like a rogue wave, Lisa was living her best life in Los Angeles. A Global HR Director by day, she spent over a decade in the corporate world, rising to the top of her field. She and her husband, partners-incrime for nine years and married for four, shared their sunny LA life with Wally, their wildly energetic labradoodle, and Pico, their high-maintenance Scottish Fold cat Together, they spent their free time traveling, sipping margaritas on the beach, and hosting dinner parties that would make Martha Stewart proud
But life, being its unpredictable self, had other plans. When Lisa’s mother became gravely ill and needed a lung transplant in 2022, Lisa left her job to become a full-time caregiver. Then, in a cruel twist of fate, both of her parents passed away within 24 hours of each other. Yes, you read that right. A plot twist no one saw coming
The shock was overwhelming Losing both parents in such a short span left Lisa in a fog of disbelief
“It felt like the world was still spinning while mine had come to a screeching halt,” she remembers While others were going about their daily lives, Lisa was knee-deep in a mountain of administrative tasks that no one prepares you for when you lose loved ones: canceling credit cards, contacting banks, and handling endless paperwork
But in the middle of this chaos, Lisa discovered something unexpected: the power of a good margarita. No, really. Her father had always made a legendary margarita, and one day, in a moment of inspiration, she decided to share his recipe on Instagram. What started as a small gesture quickly turned into a movement Friends and family began making the margarita for their own dinner parties, and suddenly, her father’s signature drink became a way for people to remember and honor him
“Every time someone told me they made my dad's margarita, it felt like they were keeping my dad's legacy alive." Lisa says with a smile. It wasn't just about the drink; it was about the connection, the memories, and maintaining her parents' legacy.
If there’s one thing Lisa learned from her mom, it’s that hosting a dinner party is an art form. Her mother, a successful executive at NBC Universal, was the queen of entertaining. Whether it was sourcing ingredients from three different markets or perfecting the tablescape, she went all out Now, hosting has become Lisa’s way of honoring her mom ’ s legacy and coping with grief
Let’s not sugarcoat it: grief is messy, non-linear, and shows up when you least expect it One day, you ’ re fine The next day, you ’ re crying into your dog’s fur because a random song triggered a memory “There are days when you feel like you ’ re drowning, and then there are days when you feel functional ” Lisa says
For Lisa, the key to surviving those waves of grief has been finding small joys: walks with Wally, listening to audiobooks (hello, Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson!), and hosting intimate gatherings with friends And, of course, there’s always the comfort of a good glass of Pinot Noir “I’m just saying there’s a certain power in having a nice glass of red wine when everything else is falling apart,” she adds with a wink
One thing Lisa loves? Talking about her parents. For many people, it’s uncomfortable to bring up loved ones who have passed, but for Lisa, it’s a way of keeping them close. “I love when people share stories about my mom and dad,” she says. “It makes them feel like they’re still here.” Sharing stories, recipes, and even that iconic margarita has become Lisa’s way of keeping her parents’ memory alive. She’s on a mission to make sure people remember them not just for their passing, but for who they were fun-loving, larger-than-life personalities who knew how to throw a legendary dinner party.
Grief may never fully go away, but Lisa’s found ways to navigate it with grace, humor, and a little bit of sass. Her parents’ love for entertaining has become her own, and through her dinner parties, cocktails, and shared memories, their legacy lives on.
So, if you ’ re ever in Los Angeles and in need of a perfectly mixed margarita or maybe just a good laugh over dinner Lisa’s got you covered Just don’t forget the Pinot Noir
When we asked Lisa what she wanted to share with readers she stated,
“I’d be happy to share my dad’s margarita recipe. We would have this margarita for every occasion, and it is an homage to our time in Cabo San Lucas ”
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The Price of Goodbye
Written by Chelsea Ohlemiller
We’re enjoying a casual conversation when she says, “So, what’s the most significant purchase you’ve ever made?” It’s not a weird inquiry considering we can see the mall from our outdoor seats at the café. For most, this question wouldn’t have a heavy truth or sting of grief. For me, it does.
Suddenly, I’m deciding between giving the truthful answer or the comfortable one. The one that meets the answer she’s probably envisioning in her head– a lavish purse, designer shoes, or some tropical vacation.
Sadly, it’s none of those things.
In fact, I’ve had two significant purchases in my life–one right after the other.
The first was a casket for my mother. The second was her headstone.
Both equally heartbreaking. Both equally significant. Both purchases that changed me significantly.
And when I realize I can’t pause my response any longer, I say: “I’m not sure. There have been a few.” She looks at me, recognizing the hesitation in my speech and the heartbreak in my eyes. I can tell she understands. She either knows me better than I thought, or she knows grief deeper than I assumed, either way, she doesn’t push and somehow silently acknowledges the profound impact the question has stirred in my soul.
We change the conversation and go back to the typical chatter of occasions like this one. Eventually we’re smiling and laughing again, the weight of the grief faded by distraction. We finish our lunch and head our separate ways with a hug and a smile.
As I walk back to my car, the tears start to flow. I’m not surprised. I knew the grief would find me again. I knew the harsh reality of the answer to my friend’s question would eventually want to be acknowledged–to be felt.
I think of all of the other people in this world that have the same answer.
The biggest purchase.
A purchase that changed more than their bank account. A purchase that changed their heart. One that you never forget making. One you don’t need a receipt for, because you have the details engrained on your mind and heart like a tattoo.
I spend my entire ride home thinking about my answer, wishing it could be different. Wishing that I could flip a switch, or turn back time, and my answer would be different because my reality would be different. Grief has a way of having you bargain for the unobtainable.
I stay in my car until the ache fades. I wait until the sting dissipates enough to carry forward, to carry on.
And I realize, some purchases are never truly paid in full—for they are bought with far more than money—they’re bought with pieces of our soul. Which is exactly why we’ll feel the cost of them forever.
The most profound purchase. The harshest purchase. The most delicate and vulnerable purchase. The most meaningful purchase– the casket and headstone of someone they loved.
ler is a writer, blogger, and the the w That She’s Gone: A Daughter's Reflections on Loss, Love, and a Mother's Legacy”.
Follow her on Instagram @hopeandharshrealities and visit her website to learn more and purchase her book
EXPERTS FROM AN INTERVIEW
ON THE BEST LIFE BEST DEATH PODCAST
With Diane Hullet
FIRST YEAR OF GRIEF
Barbara Karnes Reflects
Get Griefy is proud to partner with the Best Life Best Death podcast to bring you insightful reflections on grief, loss, and caregiving. In these two compelling episodes, Diane Hullet interviews Barbara Karnes, RN, offering invaluable guidance for anyone navigating the complex path of grief. Whether you ’ re in the early stages of loss or looking for perspective on what the journey ahead may hold, these conversations provide wisdom, comfort, and practical insights.
Check out excerpts from episodes #162 and #163, and listen to the full episodes for a deeper exploration of grief, caregiving, and what it means to live fully in the face of loss.
Diane: I ’ ve been so moved by everything, Barbara, that you've written and shared about your personal experience this past year. Given all your knowledge and a life-time of information gained as a hospice nurse, there was still so much to learn with the loss of a life-long partner.
Barbara: Intellectually I knew things, and I had studied and observed grief But I had not had to deal with the emotional grief of losing a partner You know, it's different The grief of a parent, the grief of a child, the grief of a partner I did not realize how completely each of these losses has their own uniqueness to it So that was a big lesson Big, big lesson
Even as Jack was nearing the end of his life, I look back on it and thought how did I miss the signs?
A key turning point for me was two to three weeks before Jack died. We had this big confrontation. He's in bed. I brought in the food. He's not eating. He's getting mad because I'm bringing food, and I'm getting frustrated. He raises his hand and he points to the door as if to say “get out!” and I walked out of the room, and I'm standing in the hall crying, and I thought “I am trying to keep this man alive by the food, and his body is trying to die without food. And that was the aha moment, when I realized I needed to offer, but not force when it came to eating. I realized in a new way the significance and the power that is in that. And what a hurdle this is for a caregiver.
Diane: I'm so moved by you phrasing it like that, that it's a hurdle for the caregiver. It's just the biggest thing to make that shift to saying, “We’re in a different place now.”
Barbara: Once I was back in my work routine, that realization is what led me to write my newest booklet, Always Offer, Never Force. Because I truly realized how significant and how important understanding eating and not eating at the end of life is. I had to stand in that place to really appreciate the significance of what the caregiver is dealing with.
Diane: One thing you wrote about in this past year was the surprise of the loneliness of it. You had 60+ years of waking up and talking to somebody else, making breakfast together, sharing coffee, talking about the news, going to bed at night and reflecting on the day… and it's just such a big, big change when a partner dies.
Barbara: I certainly did not realize the significance of it I didn't think about very much Unless you ' ve been in those shoes, and then you realize For 65 years basically we were a we, and then this last year I became a me And I don't know how to be a me I've had to learn what to do, what I want to do, because we would always consider each other That's just how it was, for 65 years, and I didn't realize that in grief probably the biggest challenge in my grieving was to learn how to become a me
Diane: People certainly talk about the first year of losing someone being so so difficult. What do you find as you sit here at the precipice of year two?
Barbra: I will say that one thing that surprised me was that in my grieving, in the early months and I'm saying months what kept surfacing was not the good times. It was the challenging times. It was like I had to process through those, cleaning house so to speak, and to do that I had to get rid of the dirt And at first I thought, “Oh Barbara, you ' re a bad person All you can think about is the negative stuff ”
But after a few months, literally months, I realized what was happening and that I'm not a bad person I'm a normal person I realized that when someone dies, we immediately elevate that person to sainthood, and it seems that all of a sudden we don't even think about the negatives, the challenges So I was thinking something was wrong with me But I realized, from writing a blog about it and getting so many responses, people saying, “Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you said this, because I thought I was a bad person too.” I realized that by “cleaning the house,” this helped me to see all the good stuff again, because I cleaned out the challenging stuff. That was a new aspect of grieving for me.
TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODES, CHECK OUT BESTLIFEBESTDEATH.COM AND FOLLOW DIANE ON INSTAGRAM @BESTLIFEBESTDEATH
Diane: Do you feel feel like you said everything you wanted to say to Jack?
Barbara: Yes, I think so Because I work in the end of life, I've learned from this to do and say what you want to do and say today, because you never know what tomorrow is going bring. I think in our relationship, there was that current-ness, because of this awareness of how fragile and precarious life is, not only with Jack, but with my children and grandchildren. I never let them leave without saying “goodbye” and “I love you.” Saying I love you is so important and you need to do that all the time, not just at end of life.
Diane: I appreciate talking to you so much, Barbara, close to the one year anniversary of losing Jack. I appreciate these reflections and your honesty about what this experience has been like for you. Thanks so much for talking to me today.
Barbara: You’re welcome, and you know my belief is that I'm no different than anyone else, and if I'm feeling these things and don't understand them, then so do a lot of other people. So by my sharing, we can see how normal and natural grieving is.
Get Griefy’s Small Business Collective
A directory of products, services, and providers created from experiences of grief, designed to support our community of readers!
(*Note members/business are not all listed in alphabetical order)
Erin Blechman
Erin is an author, speaker, and certified Grief Educator dedicated to advancing the conversation on loss, grief, mental illness, and suicide Her book, My Unexpected Journey: Reflections After Losing My Son to Suicide, details the 18 months after losing her son, Max, who struggled with mental illness Erin provides grief support to bereaved parents through online groups and community talks aimed at fostering understanding of these important topics Follow her at erinblechman com and on social media @erin blechman
Melissa Bottorff-Arey
Creator of The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations, a Podcast for survivors to hear the host and others speak about life after suicide loss Melissa is also the author of several books, including the multivolume compilation series "Because They Lived Memories & Stories of Amazing Kids Lost to Suicide, As Told by the Mothers They Left Behind" - a legacy & trauma healing project for moms She has also formed an online support community and resource hub from her healing As a speaker, she inspires and motivates her audience with her tragic but powerful story Melissa is a certified Master Grief Companion, Usui Reiki I & II Certified, trauma-informed group leader, retreat facilitator & healer Follow her on Instagram @theleftoverpieces and check out her website to learn more theleftoverpieces com
Venetta Cox-Mlynczyk
Venetta is a Bereaved Mom of her only two children She is the author of, the awarding winning book, The Worst Life Has to Offer; A Mother's Grief Journey to the Other Side of Sadness After the Death of Her Two Sons, where she shares her unimaginable story, and how she navigated life's most brutal tragedy, as a beacon of hope and resilience Venetta honors her sons by living a meaningful life, and by supporting others in the community on their own journey through grief To learn more check out mothersgriefjourney net and follow on IG @mothersgriefjourney
Angela Croop
Angela is a speech pathologist turned grief mentor, began helping others navigate infant and child loss after losing her own daughter to SIDS She founded Fly Avi Fly, a retail store whose proceeds support loss parents and fund child loss retreats Now, she’s working to establish a nonprofit to expand these retreats, offering healing spaces and resources Her mission is to build a compassionate community for grieving parents, and she recently launched a virtual group with weekly workouts and monthly support meetings to further connect and support them Instagram @strength for recovery
Crystal Dalton
Crystal is the founder of Cohabitating with Grief, a space dedicated to helping grievers process their grief to inspire healing, growth, and wellness She offers peer-led support, community grief nature walks, and intuitive movement sessions to create a compassionate and supportive environment Crystal provides both virtual and in-person services to accommodate the diverse needs of her clients Through her work, she aims to foster a sense of connection and understanding among those navigating grief Her approach is grounded in empathy and a deep commitment to holistic healing practices You can find her on Instagram @cohabitatingwithgrief
Get Griefy’s Small Business Collective Directory
Elreacy Dock
Elreacy Dock is a thanatologist, death educator, certified grief educator, and behavioral health consultant She is the Thanatology Department Chair, Curriculum Developer, and Instructor at Capstone University Elreacy serves on the Membership Committee for the Association of Death Education and Counseling and is a contributor at Seven Ponds Her insights are prominently featured in international media and academic journals You can connect with Elreacy via Instagram, X, and her website
Michaelene Dowers- Pollen
Michaelene Dowers, certified thanatologist and funeral director, founded Pollen to provide compassionate grief resources for children and families Through curated literature and consulting services, she supports death care professionals in delivering age-appropriate bereavement care With extensive academic and professional credentials, Michaelene also teaches and speaks nationally on ef To learn more about Pollen, please visit www pollen care | Instagram @pollen.care
arul Dua Makkar
Parul Dua Makkar is a dentist and wellness advocate focused on oral cancer prevention following the s of her brother, Dr Manu Dua, to the disease As founder of PDM Family Dental and co-author of *Life errupted*, an award-winning cancer support book, she speaks and writes widely on early cancer ection and dental health She also runs the Dua Good Job Symposium- A comprehensive view on Oral ncer for physicians/dentists/patients and Healing the Healers: grief coaching for Healthcare fessionals Follow her on Instagram @duagoodjob
nnah Elizabeth
nah is creator of The Five Facets Philosophy on Healing™, a groundbreaking guide that helps you live ur best life, even in the face of adversity She is a transformation coach; a published author, TEDx, ynote and community speaker; an energy medicine practitioner and teacher, and an international dium Annah’s coaching, workshops, and training programs include academic and alternative dalities designed to meet your unique and preferred needs Her writings and work have been featured umerous magazines, radio and TV programs, and national live events Connect at her Website, IG, and re!
my Fabian-Crump- Dragon Fly Vibes
y Fabian-Crump is the Founder & Owner of Dragonfly Vibes, a business inspired by her personal grief journey, following the death of her sister Her mission is to support the healing journey that follows loss, providing thoughtful gifts to bring comfort, promote self-care, and help those grieving cope with their loss, while honoring the memory of their loved ones She understands that for those grieving, the journey continues long after others have returned to their lives Whether you are grieving or supporting someone who is, Dragonfly Vibes is her to help Connect with Amy on her Website Shopdragonflyvibes com or IG or Facebook
Angie Hanson
Creator & Owner of Butterflies + Halos a stationery company that speaks HOPE into the grieving hearts and all the other in betweens Angie is the Author of her new memoir "Chapters of a Resilient Heart" which shares the strength and resilience on emerging from the shadows of death with a resilient heart Angie co-hosts a podcast "From Loss to Light Podcast" sharing stories of finding the light through the darkest days You can find Angie @butterfliesandhalos on IG & FB Angie is also in the processes of receiving her Grief Coach Certification through "From Grief to Gratitude Coaching Institute"
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Catherine Hinz- Beyond Words
Co.
Beyond Words Co , based in St Paul, Minnesota, designs and ships sympathy care packages specifically to support others through grief, loss, and difficult life transitions We're founded on the premise that no one should feel alone through life’s hardest times Beyond Words Co care packages have natural and pure products to promote comfort, nourishment, and rest for the mind, body, and spirit Beyond Words Co supports women and family-owned and operated businesses Products are often made and handcrafted in the USA, sustainable, eco-friendly, responsibly sourced, and organic Check out her website at www beyondwordsco com
Gabby Jimenez
Gabby is a hospice nurse and an end-of-life doula, death and dying educator, and author If you visit her website at www thehospiceheart net you can find her blogs, classes, podcast interviews and links to her ooks and other offerings She has a lovely community on FB that currently has 147,000 followers, which he says does not make her popular it just reminds us how many people are dying, caring for someone who is dying, and grieving This community is very important to her Gabby's intention is to help improve he way human beings are being cared for when they are dying and grieiving
Blair Kaplan Venables-Global Resilience Project
lair Kaplan Venables is a social media marketing expert and the president of Blair Kaplan ommunications, a PR agency based in British Columbia With 15 years of experience, she has helped lobal wellness, entertainment, and lifestyle brands grow their social media presence significantly and win marketing awards. Recognized as one of the top 10 conscious female leaders to watch by USA oday and a top social media expert by Yahoo!, Blair has been featured in Forbes, CBC Radio, and ntrepreneur. She is an international bestselling author of The Global Resilience Project and Resilient F, co-hosts the Resilient AF podcast, and actively grows an online community that shares stories of esilience. To learn more visit, theglobalresilienceproject.com and follow along @theglobalresiliencecommunity
Moira Khan-Grief Span
Moira is the Owner and Founder of GriefSpan After the loss of her parents and brother, Moira became a Certified Grief Educator She now helps and supports grieving individuals and groups all over the world, through the most heartbreaking times of their lives Grief Education enables grievers to process their grief in a safe space, while learning more about best practices and tools to help navigate the journey they never asked to be on Moira has a large community and network on Instagram @griefspaneducation and can also be found at www griefspan com
Christi Kmecik-Written Hugs Designs
When words are hard to find, there’s Written Hugs Designs, a greeting card company based in Shakopee, MN This company creates cards infused with courageous vulnerability, empathy, and intention, ensuring that each card feels like a meaningful hug Their mission focuses on providing support and encouragement through thoughtfully crafted messages that resonate with recipients during difficult times If you want to learn more about Written Hugs Designs and explore their card offerings, you can visit her website writtenhugsdesigns.com or follow on Instagram @writtenhugsdesigns.
Koursaris-Wholly Heart Nutrition
s, physical health declines after a major, life-changing event, such as death, divorce, a move, ss These can have devastating effects on our health- unfortunately, I understand this all too lly Heart Nutrition seeks to help people who feel like they’re merely existing, gain vitality and ownership of their health! Susan believes you CAN support yourself into an existence of better ention, and joy! I have such passion for this modality because it has changed hers and so many ! Offerings include 3 or 6 month gut-healing programs that include supplements and GI-MAP + d sensitivity) testing! You can find her on LinkedIn, Instagram @whollyheartnutrition and
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athy MacKay
hy MacKay, author and founder of Kathy MacKay Books, is currently crafting her memoir, which tells a werful story of resilience in the face of a significant medical scandal Through her writing, Kathy aims to pire and empower readers by sharing her journey of overcoming personal adversity, navigating mplex healthcare challenges, and finding strength in the process Beyond her memoir, she is sionate about helping others begin their own storytelling journeys, offering guidance to those who h to share their own stories of resilience and hope Her work reflects her dedication to advocacy, ling, and the transformative power of personal narrative Find her on Instagram @kathysmackay
ail Marquardt
h over 30 years in communications across various fields, Gail Marquardt has dedicated 13 years to the onal Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), where she leads Remembering A Life This program cates the public on the importance of commemorating loved ones meaningfully after they pass ditionally, Gail serves on the board of directors for the Wisconsin chapter of the American Foundation Suicide Prevention, a role she took on after the losses of a close friend and her niece Deeply sionate about supporting those in grief, Gail is committed to ensuring people have the resources they d to navigate their healing journey
manda McKoy Flanagan
anda McKoy Flanagan, LMSW, award-winning author, motivational speaker, and certified intuitive f coach, recently launched her debut inspirational memoir, Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love Let Go and co-hosts the Sol Rising Podcast. As a co-founder of the Castle Rock Clubhouse, a overy clubhouse that serves as meeting space for various twelve-step programs, she supports riety and spirituality initiatives through her nonprofit work. A multifaceted enthusiast of horses, mming, running, dancing, and rock music, Amanda lives her passions out loud You can find her on agram @amandamckoyflanagan and Facebook
The Mourning Movement
he Mourning Movement, co-founded by Dr Heather Taylor, PsyD and Jen Reisinger, LMHC, offers over 5 years of combined experience supporting individuals, families, and communities through grief They o normalize grief as a vital part of the human experience and shift the “don’t-talk-about-it” narrative ed in their own lived experiences, they focus on increasing connection during grief by educating on f states, not stages," the spectrum of grief & and validating both death and non-death losses Their oach offers multiple ways to engage, including digital downloads, short videos, webinars, shops, and larger grief retreats The Mourning Movement meets people where they are, providing ort for different seasons and unique needs in grief
drianna Moustakas- A Path to Helping Others / n Z Grief Chick
Z Grief Chick is a griever, MSW Student, Family Life Educator, and passionate change maker ianna created an Instagram page not long after her brother died This was created to share feelings help others As this hobby grew, a podcast, blog, and connection was a result To find community, borate, or find solace visit apathtohelpingothers com or @genz griefchick on Instagram!
sser is a multi-award winning author, helping children and their communities detisgmatize grief by engaging with hard topics Her book, I Miss the Baby recognizes children grieve following cy loss and her second book, Grandma Has no Hair, gives children practical tools to continue life g a loved one's cancer diagnosis Find grief activities for kids on her website: IrmaProsser com Prosser
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z Quinn
Quinn is the host of the Healing Hearts Podcast, where she creates a compassionate space for nversations around loss, love, and healing After enduring devastating losses over the years, including loss of her daughter Alivia, Liz was inspired to share her own journey and those of others who have lked through grief Now in its second season, the Healing Hearts Podcast offers hope and support to se navigating loss, sharing stories of resilience and providing guidance on healing with grace and mpassion Check her out on Instagram @healing hearts podcast
Estrella Quiroz
Estrella is the Co-founder & CEO of Last Farewells, a death tech platform that helps people schedule their last letters, videos, memorial page and more that will be delivered to their loved ones after their passing Her journey into the death industry unexpectedly began with the passing of her own father and a missed phone call that led to his last voicemail Using her degree in Tourism & Hospitality, alongside her travel experience across 50+ countries, Estrella is inspired to ensure Last Farewells is available across 100+ languages so no words are left unspoken by anyone, anywhere Learn more at lastfarewells com or follow along @lastfarewellsapp on Instagram
Kimberly Rich-Tomorrow Mourning
Kimberly Rich recently graduated with her doctoral degree with a research focus on grief and bereavement. Her journey with grief started following the sudden loss of her mother in 2021. It was hen that she first recognized the power of relationship in grief, and also realized the ways that we can ail to support one another as end of life approaches, as well as in times of grief In the coming months he accepted that her mission would be to improve how we approach death, dying and supporting hose who are grieving She now serves as a death doula, end of life coordinator, and grief educator She is based in the suburbs of Chicago, IL but regularly travels to support those in need You can learn more about her work on Instagram @tomorrowmourningllc
Jessica Rios-Flores
essica Rios-Flores is the owner of WomenMix - a mental health group practice dedicated to empowering nd helping others overcome trauma and grief Through individual therapy + coaching and the founder of a grief group, Flowing Hearts Circle, Jessica supports women and the LGBTQ+ community, fostering a safe space for shared experiences and healing Jessica is a licensed clinical social worker, author, and certified mindfulness instructor
Amy Ripley-Shoebox Albums
Amy Ripley is the owner and designer of Shoebox Albums She founded Shoebox Albums out of a passion for creating high-end photo books that celebrate life’s most significant moments Through carefully crafted albums, Amy seeks to preserve family legacies, allowing people to revisit cherished memories and keep their loved ones' stories alive Every album she designs is personal, created with heart and soul because the people within its pages are important to someone and that makes them important to her Customers can easily send Amy their photos for a custom album design or purchase a digital gift certificate for someone special, allowing them to create their own cherished keepsake Visit shoeboxalbums com and follow on Instagram @shoebox albums to learn more!
Nina Rodriguez-Grief and Light
Nina Rodriguez is founder of Grief and Light, a grief-informed support platform offering heart-centered care through 1:1 support programs, The Community, monthly grief tending circles, speaking engagements, social media presence, and forthcoming in-person retreats Created after the unexpected loss of her only sibling, Yosef, the Grief and Light Podcast is an authentic exploration of life after loss, which aims to give a voice to the griever’s experience, and foster a more grief-informed, hopeful world Nina's work has been featured in multiple publications, including Get Griefy Magazine, where she is a regular contributor She has also completed the Grief Care Professional Certificate Program under renowned psychotherapist and best-selling author Megan Devine, known for It's OK That You're Not OK You can connect with her on Instagram @griefandlight
Kelly Sammon-Grieving Gracefully Get Griefy’s Small Business Collective Directory
Kelly Sammon is the compassionate founder of Grieving Gracefully, a platform dedicated to supporting individuals through their grief journey With a personal understanding of loss, having experienced the profound impact of losing both her parents, Kelly created Grieving Gracefully to help those who are navigating the complex and often overwhelming emotions that accompany grief Grieving Gracefully is more than just a business; it’s a community where individuals can find solace, share their stories, and discover resources that promote healing Through her work, Kelly empowers others to embrace their grief, recognize its cycles, and find strength in the shared experiences of others Whether through her podcast, workshops, or membership community, Kelly is committed to providing a safe space for healing and growth, ensuring that no one has to grieve alone Visit grievinggracefully ca and @grieving gracefully to learn more
Kera Sanchez-Legacy Letters Journals
Creator of Legacy Letters Journals, Guided journals that help you leave behind a lasting legacy of love advice and support for your loved ones Her Second Journal, No Legacy Lost is a grief and memory journal She is also the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Get Griefy Magazine, and the Founder of Get Griefy Magazines Small Business Collective, a networking/benefit platform for griefy small business owners You can find her on Instagram @legacylettersjournal
Wendy Stern- Center for Somatic Grieving
endy Stern is the Founder of the Center for Somatic Grieving, where we offer a nurturing and ansformative space for grieving in community Our mission is rooted in Wendy's personal story of loss d transformation, guiding individuals through the healing process with compassion and derstanding At CSG, we provide a range of services, professional trainings and retreats including r signature Mindful Grieving Yoga Therapy Program, Mindful Grieving Facilitator Training, Somatic ief Retreats, Community Circles and Individual Somatic Grieving Sessions designed to support your urney through connection, somatic awareness, and mindfulness-based practices We provide a listic approach to grief that honors its emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects, helping you egrate grief into a journey of self-discovery and resilience Instagram @centerforsomaticgrieving
r. Heather Taylor
Dr Heather Taylor is a licensed psychologist and grief specialist hosting Grief is the New Normal Podcast, where she interviews other mental health clinicians and grief workers to help normalize talking about grief in our grief-phobic society She has a private practice that offers grief therapy services to 42 states that are part of PsyPact She provides relevant, honest, normalizing grief content on Instagram @grief is the new normal and YouTube @Grief Is The New Normal Be sure to follow along for upcoming resources and offerings
Andrea Turnbow- The Grief Nook
Andrea is the founder of The Grief Nook, a comfortable space to creatively grieve in community Through her workshops, support groups, speaking events, and individual guidance, she helps grievers discover ways to build resilience through creativity, connection, and tradition, and brings them closer to their desires and goals through the power of their own healing abilities You can find her on Instagram @thegriefnook
Vallen Webb
Founder of Evelyn James and Company, A perinatal bereavement training and support company We train birth, postpartum and other professionals how to compassionately support families after pregnancy loss I'm the creator of Pregnancy Loss Education and our own Certified Bereavement doula training We provide in-person & virtual bereavement support, free resources for loss families and we just launched our loss mom text community! We have a free professional support group on FB, I do free trainings on supporting families after loss Check out pregnancylosseducation on Facebook and Insta @vallenwebb
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Griscelle Anacker- Princess and Papa
The proud parents of two boys and an angel baby girl, Evangeline, founded Princess & Papa, a heartfelt family lifestyle brand born from the profound loss of their daughter. This venture channels their grief into a meaningful mission, celebrating the unique bond between fathers and daughters through coordinated apparel with thoughtful, memory-honoring designs aimed at bringing families closer together Shop at www princessandpapa com and follow on Instagram @princessandpapa
Shea Wingate-The Grief Girlie
A licensed therapist and grief coach, she brings a unique perspective to grief work through her background in mental health and personal experiences of loss After losing her parents and older sister within thirteen months, she struggled to find adequate support, which inspired her to open her grief practice Passionate about helping others, she offers tangible support and validation to navigate grief, emphasizing that the journey is about learning to grow around loss rather than simply moving on As someone who understands the challenges of grief, she creates a safe space for fellow grievers to share their experiences Interested individuals can schedule online counseling sessions to start their healing journey Learn more at thegriefgirlie com and follow her on Instagram @thegriefgirle
Paula Varblow, RN, MN, CS
Experienced Nurse Psychotherapist, Consultant, and Educator Grief and Loss Specialist Trauma Therapist Perinatal Mental Health Expertise Disaster Mental Health Specialist Expertise in Community Mental Health (LACDMH) Nonprofit Organizations, Crisis Intervention, CISM, and Prevention Utilize a Bio/Psycho/Social/Spiritual approach Extensive healthcare clinical expertise with a Master's in Nursing (MN) focused in Psychiatric/Mental Health Nursing from UCLA Follow her on Instagram @griefnursepaula
Tara Accardo
Grief and transformational life coach, and host of the Life With Grief podcast, Tara founded Losses Become Gains after losing both parents to cancer within six months This community provides tools, inspiration, and guidance for navigating grief and loss Through her Life With Grief Club, Tara offers a peer support platform with resources to help transform grief in uplifting ways Her podcast, one-on-one coaching, and membership reflect her deep passion for supporting fellow grievers Insta @lossesbecomegains & @lifewithgriefpodcast
Carlease Austin
Carlease Austin is the Founder and Owner of A Peace of Mine She is a Certified Grief and Trauma Coach with a Masters in Cognition and Neuroscience She offers a Holistic approach to your care, utilizing modalities such as Reiki and Yoga She will come along side and journey with you, to and through your new normal Site: apeaceofmine org | Insta: @apeaceofmindbycarlease llc
Nalda Seidman
Certified Grief Educator, Digital Nomad, and grieving mother normalizing life after loss with substacks More to come Substack: naldafatimalandry substack com | Insta: @traveling with grief
Get Griefy Community Blog is a space for the grief community to share their grief experiences, art, writing and more. The inspiring, heartbreaking, and everything in between.
Brooke Tichenor @intothelightoflife
Brooke Tichenor is a writer, business owner, wife, and mother Her writing journey began one restless night as thoughts of her mother and her battle with Alzheimer’s filled her mind
Unable to silence the thoughts, she decided to capture them on her phone Over time, this journaling practice evolved into a deep exploration of grief, healing, and growth.
Through her writing, Brooke honors her mother’s legacy while shedding light on the complexities of Alzheimer’s and finding hope amidst life's challenges By exploring themes of loss, parenting, and personal transformation, she invites readers into a supportive community where they feel seen, heard, and understood She believes by sharing our stories, we break down barriers and find strength and connection together
"A Companion in Grief"
Take off the mask you’re wearing, friend The mask that shows a happy face You don’t need to wear it around me
You must be tired from maintaining the facade. The facade that pretends everything is ok when it is anything but The facade that is well worn and hanging by a thread.
Take it off and rest your weary soul
Your grief is safe with me
Show up as you are and fill the silence with your words Set your feelings free, allowing them to be the truth you've been hiding behind the mask.
Bear your sadness Spread it far and wide.
Let your guard down
Let your tears fall freely
Tell me your deepest heartaches, your sharpest pains, your greatest fears I will not interrupt I will not judge I will not walk away
Instead, I will sit with you in your sadness, comfort you in your pain, and offer you a listening ear.
I will embrace your words with grace, love, and understanding. Like a sanctuary, they will find a haven in the space between us
And, when your heart is overwhelmed by the weight of grief, I will help you carry it
When there are no words, I will sit with you in the stillness and silence
Friend, I know the journey you’ve walked
I know the emptiness in your eyes
I know the sorrow that sits deep in your soul
I know it because I’ve experienced loss too
You are not alone in your sadness, nor in your healing
You and I we are bound together by the grief we share.
Please remember you have found a forever companion in me A partner who will walk this road with you A trusted presence who will be there by your side, no matter how long it takes
You will not face this journey alone, friend
Your grief is safe with me.
Barbara Karnes- Personal Narrative @barbarakarnesrn
If it has to do with death and dying, Barbara Karnes, RN is talking about it Her articles have been featured in The NY Times, USA Today, The Huffington Post, Thrive Global, & The Washington Post, among others. Awarded the NHPCO Innovator award for her decades as an end-of-life educator and for her iconic booklet, GONE FROM MY SIGHT: The Dying Experience (aka: "the hospice blue book"). Barbara’s career spans four decades and began as an early hospice pioneer during the AIDS crisis In addition to the many years she has spent at the bedside caring for patients and their families as a nurse, Barbara has also served as executive director of hospice and various home-health agencies She has worked through the hospice ranks as patient care manager, clinical director, staff, nurse, and volunteer Barbara is a dedicated end of life educator, training professionals, authoring resource materials, booklets, movies, and her fabulous blog “People don’t understand that there’s a normal, natural way of dying My materials are written to guide and support anyone who finds themselves addressing end of life situations. The goal is to help people have a positive experience so everyone involved will have a sacred memory to carry with them”
- Barbara Karnes, RN
The Part of Grief You Don’t Know– Until You Do
As a new widow (that word sounds strange and startling) I have had many new insights In my work in end of life care, the focus has been on approaching death Grief has been an afterthought, not a primary issue With Jack’s death, I know how powerful grief is
Emotionally, now a month after Jack’s death, I am still kind of numb. I haven’t cried since his death. The tears are generally behind my eyes. I can feel them but can’t or won’t let them out.
I am not my gentle, understanding self. I am impatient. I am not necessarily being sociable or even being polite. I am sharp and edgy. That is not who I consider myself to be.
Little things I never thought of before have come to light Who do you talk to when you get up in the morning? Baxter, my cat, gets my words Who do you eat with, sit at the table with, watch TV with? No one other than Baxter
How do you go to bed at night? Close the door to the bedroom? Lock the bedroom door? Leave a light on? For 65 years, Jack has been in my life He was part of everything and I didn’t even realize it Not only did he help shape who I have become, but more importantly, he filled my days and nights He was part of my every day And now he is not
You may find Barbara’s end of life resources for patients, families, and caregivers on her website: wwwbkbookscom
Now I am feeding the birds, squirrels and his fish Now I am restocking the toilet paper, emptying the trash, and emptying the dishwasher – all his chores
Now I have to learn how to be a widow. How to create a new life, a new way of being. I am truly alone. Yes, family and friends are amazing, comforting, and oh so necessary, but when everyone has gone home I am alone - except for Baxter cat.
I am sharing this walk in my shoes with you in a blog because, having known the intellectual side of grief from my decades of work, I now know the emotional side of grief That part of grief no one can know until they personally lose someone close to them
My hope in sharing these personal thoughts is that those of you who are grieving can find yourself in my experiences I hope you see the normalness of your own thoughts and feelings.
Valentina Zayas, 13 years old
Valentina’s mother submitted this piece on her behalf She has worked in HR for over 20 years and resides in Fort Mill, SC With a Juris Doctorate and fluency in both English and Spanish, she brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to her work. She is the mother of two teenage daughters and an active volunteer at her church In April 2024, she faced the sudden and heartbreaking loss of her husband, Felix. It has been a challenging journey, and she and her family are working to find strength and resilience in the face of this profound loss
I Believe in Grief
Grief is the shadow that follows you Grief is the nightmare that haunts your dreams. Grief is the feeling I felt when I lost my dad on April 12, 2024
It was an odd morning; the house was eerily silent, except for the cries of my mother downstairs But that wasn’t out of the ordinary, she had just had a fight with my dad last night I would know, I was the one who recorded the conversation ‘I’m sorry I’m so sorry’ I heard her repeating, her hiccups drowning out her words ‘I guess they’re getting a divorce’ I wondered aloud, grabbing a handful of hair ties and shoving it into my backpack, ‘I mean it was bound to happen, the fights, slamming doors, the finances maybe that was what caused it’ I told myself
If only I was right.
With my backpack slung over my shoulder I thundered down the steps dropping down to slip on my shoes. As I struggled with the shoelaces an unfamiliar voice called me to my feet “Leave your shoes Honey your mom needs to talk to you” A tall woman stood in the hallway of my house smiling through tears.
“Okay? ” I remember replying Then there stood my mom, her face twisted in the expression I know all too well, Grief “Honey I need to talk to you,” She started “So I’ve been told” I smiled awkwardly, my worry growing as I saw my sister behind her rapidly wiping the stream of tears flooding down her face I continued, “Can we talk while standing? I need to pack my lunchbox”
“No Honey, you need to sit down for this," the woman's voice guided me to our dining table
“So you remember last night when your father was on the wrong highway toward rockhill, remember?”
“Yeah?” I questioned my heart sped up. “Your father ran out of gas and got out of the car” She sighed trembling, “He was hit He didn’t make it”
4 words One sentence That changed my life completely Time stopped The world stopped spinning Grief is the knife I felt puncturing my heart over and over again At the moment the world was both frozen and moving, thoughts raced through my head, questions, memories, prayers
It was as if my brain was going into overdrive trying to make sense of the thousand of thoughts that flooded my system But my body was still, stuck in that very momentThen as if it was a movie, time sped up I remember my mom getting up and hugging me, sodding into my hair, “I’m sorry I’m so so sorry” I rose to my feet grabbing her shoulders I spoke “We are going to get through this” Even though at the time I didn’t believe it
Weeks passed by in a blur; mourning, the funeral, people coming in and out of the house Grief is different for everyone, some rage, some sob, some joke around and others are still But something that seems to be the one common factor in between everyone is it coming in waves You're out on the choppy shore laughing at a joke or smiling at a video then you’re reminded of someone or something you lost, then the emotions crashing down like a wave swallowing you whole. As a christian I know that my father was a faithful man who is now laughing in heaven at the way everyone would sing and dance at his celebration of life As it says in the bible in Psalms 3418 “The lord is near to the heartbroken, and he saves those who are crushed in spirit” God is with me I can feel it and I can lean into it I know that grief is real because I’m not the only one who feels it children, adults around the world are in the same sinking boat as me and many others.
I believe in grief but I also believe I can heal
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LET’SGET GRIEFY
Get Griefy is created by Kera Sanchez, a High School Dean, Navy wife, and mom of two in the Chicagoland area.
To work with Kera, or to reach out about booking her for an event, please contact her at legacylettersjournal@gmail.com
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We're here to transform life's sour lemons into a legacy of vibrant joy! Our journey started with the unexpected loss of an amazing mom, and now we ' re on a mission to help you add that pizzazz back into your life, even amidst tough times.
Consider us your partners in zest, dedicated to bringing back the happiness you deserve. With a mix of heartfelt support and a sprinkle of fun, we ' re all about empowering you to find resilience, discover new moments of light, and create a legacy that's as bright and colorful as you are!
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