IMPACTING LIVES â—? DEVELOPING LEADERS
Presents:
Supervisory/Team Lead Training 102
Think it. Mean it. Show it. Supervisory / Team Lead Training 102 Think it
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
Participant Resource Guide Revised 2012 ©2009 by LEGACY SCS
For more information on LEGACY Supply Chain Services Organizational Development and Leadership Training, contact: LEGACY Supply Chain Services Organizational Development 99 Bow Street 3rd Floor Portsmouth, NH 03801 Phone: (603) 422-0777 Fax: (603) 422-7337
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Expectations The 5 A’s of LEGACY Training
Attend every session. If there are extenuating circumstances that will keep you from attending a session, it is your responsibility to seek out a team member and have them share with you the learning from the session you missed. Missing a session is not an excuse to not be able to learn and apply the materials that were covered.
Actively participate. Talk with the facilitator and with your teammates. Ask questions. Offer ideas from your experiences. Make suggestions on how to apply the material. This does not mean you have to talk in every session, but it does mean that you should show that you are actively engaged in some way (making eye contact with whomever is speaking, nodding your head to show you understand a point that was made, etc.). Please understand that your active participation in this process is vital, as you and the trainer are partners in this venture. The learning outcomes expressed on page 4 will not happen if you expect them to happen to you. You must make them happen. Attendance at sessions is not enough to make the desired outcomes become a reality – you must actively engage with the materials and with your teammates. You must be willing to think critically and creatively about the contents and how you can apply them, you must be willing to believe that a solid understanding in such materials will help you become an even better LEGACY team member than you already are, and you must actively work outside of sessions to apply the contents explored in each session.
Admit that you have a lot to learn. We all do. Learning should be a cycle that never ends. Each session, a different topic will be introduced in this training, and while you might be familiar with some topics more than others, no one person is an expert in all of them. The facilitator and your LEGACY teammates each come to the table with a great deal of experience that can shed new light on an old topic, so if you are paying attention, there will always be something new to learn or a new way to look at something you already know.
Assist your teammates. While this curriculum aims to help each of you as individuals, it also aims to help build the LEGACY team. Sharing this experience together can be very powerful if you strive to work together to support each other, challenge each other, and generally help each other in understanding and application of this material. And, you might make a few new friends while you’re at it!
Apply yourself and the material. You will only take away from this learning experience how much you are willing to give to it. So please – strive to apply yourself and make the most of the material and the overall experience. And, of course, as had been already mentioned, work to implement tangible actions based on what you learn in the sessions. If you apply yourself to the material and apply the material in your facility, you will be well on your way to creating a values-driven culture in your facility and on your team!
Please take a moment to seriously consider what it will mean for you to be able to meet your own expectations and those of your teammates, as well as the 5 As. Think it
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WELCOME to LEGACY Team Leads Leadership Training!
You are about to embark on Part 2 (Communication Skills) of an exciting journey that will help you to explore your role as a LEGACY Team Lead in relation to:
LEGACY The folks with whom you work Your own personal leadership development Scenarios you may encounter in your environment
Through the exploration of the Team Lead role, you will learn a great deal about yourselves, your teammates/associates, and LEGACY as a company. Moreover, you will learn valuable practical philosophies and skills that you can apply after each session. These philosophies and skills will make you an even greater asset to your facility and to the LEGACY team than you already are. __________________________________________ WHAT YOU WILL NEED TO GET STARTED: Printed copy of this manual Pen or pencil Extra paper (if you like to take a lot of notes!)
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS At LEGACY, LEADERSHIP is defined as the active, team-oriented process of thinking critically about (THINK it), believing in (MEAN it), and living (SHOW it) our LEGACY values, day-in and day-out, in a meaningful way that drives the creation of extraordinary, sustainable relationships and results. Leadership is about being an active part of establishing LEGACY’s Performance-Based Culture. This training program, while it is not specifically focused on the LEGACY Values, is being presented to you because it builds upon the foundation of the LEGACY Values and will assist you in creating a PerformanceBased Culture in your facility/office and on your team. The LEGACY Training motto “THINK it. MEAN it. SHOW it.” which is a reflection of the fact that our aim with this training is to help us develop our overall leadership philosophies and skills through our exploration of contents related to LEGACY’s Core Values. Each session in each of the training modules we will encounter throughout the duration of this training program will connect back to the theme of “THINK it. MEAN it. SHOW it.” by asking and exploring the answers to three key questions: 1 – WHAT? This section includes the content, the topic; will mainly consist of exploring pertinent information about the topic at hand. By asking and answering “WHAT?” about the topic, we will explore the “THINK it” component of our leadership development model. 2 – SO WHAT? This section will challenge the group to make sense together of what the content really means for the company, for our office, and for ourselves as individuals. By asking and answering “SO WHAT?” about the topic, we will explore the “MEAN it” component of the leadership development model. 3 – NOW WHAT? This will be a brief but important section, where we will be challenged as a team to create an initiative (it can be big or small, team-based or individual-based, etc.) to apply the contents and demonstrate our understanding of them. By asking and answering “NOW WHAT?” about the topic, we will examine the “SHOW it” component of our leadership development model. Considering any of these three questions in isolation of the others, while important, does not give a comprehensive view of the topic at hand. However, when we put all three of the components together – regardless of the topic – it presents the most holistic view of the topic and helps those studying the topic to exert their leadership potential in very positive and effective ways. Visually, this holistic approach looks like the diagram at the top of the next page:
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SESSION 11 OBJECTIVES: The group will explore the basics of communication through a few basic activities. Each Team Lead will have a solid understanding (THINK it) of what communication is really all about Each Team Lead will begin to explore the importance of valuing effective communication and begin to think about their own personal communication skills/styles (MEAN it) Each Team Lead will practice/apply session learnings on the floor, and complete the Homework Challenge before next session (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Communication is your #1 responsibility
WHAT is COMMUNICATION? Although we use the word “COMMUNICATION” nearly everyday, we often don’t think about its actual meaning. Sometimes when we say “COMMUNICATION,” what we really mean is “talking to each other.” However, “talking to each other” is not always “communication.” In fact, often times we talk to each other and never really communicate at all, don’t we? In LEGACY, we define COMMUNICATION as: The sharing of information. It takes place when the intended meaning in the mind of one participant has been constructed in the mind of another participant. Communication is more than the process of simply sending or transmitting a message – it requires a sharing of meanings with another party or parties. ** Adopted from “Effective Communication,” by HRD Press, Inc. 2002 Here are a few key points to consider, based on this definition:
Since COMMUNICATION is about the sharing of information, it requires 2 parties: a SENDERS and RECEIVERS. It also requires the active participation of both parties; the SENDERS are responsible for providing the information, and the RECEIVERS are responsible for understanding the information. Senders and receivers must work together – be partners in - constructing meaning about the COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION is no simple matter. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is a vital part of every activity at every level within an organization. Oftentimes, we already know what we need to do to be more effective communicators – we just need to do it. GROUP BRAINSTORM First, let’s explore some general COMMUNICATION POLUTIONS. Brainstorm with your group some negative communication issues, behaviors, etc. that you have encountered in any of your past experiences, and the trainer will record what you talk about onto newsprint. Next, let’s brainstorm some general COMMUNICATION SOLUTIONS. Brainstorm with your group some positive/ effective communication strategies, behaviors, etc. that you have encountered in any of your past
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS experiences, and the trainer will record what you talk about onto newsprint. SO WHAT? Last, let’s take a look at these 2 lists and begin to make sense of it all (MEAN it!). If we know what the POLUTIONS and SOLUTIONS are, why don’t we work harder to eliminate the pollutions and implement the solutions? Where is the disconnect between knowing what we need to do to communication effectively and actually doing it? What are the roadblocks that get in the way? Why is it important to eliminate the pollutions? How can eliminating them affect you personally? Your team? Performance/business? Which of LEGACY’s 8 Values can we relate to in our discussions about communication? NOW WHAT? Homework challenge: “My Communication Style” Please complete the following worksheet and be prepared to share what you’ve written in our next session together. Also, begin to work on implementing COMMUNICATION SOLUTIONS.
Three words/phrases that describe my PERSONAL COMMUNICATION STYLE are:
Three COMMUNICATION BEHAVIORS that tick me off are: Three FACTORS that NEGATIVELY EFFECT MY COMMUNICATION are:
Three FACTORS that help me COMMUNICATE at my best are:
Communication is your #1 responsibility Think it
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SESSION 12 OBJECTIVES: Each Team Lead will have a solid understanding (THINK it!) of the four basic communication styles and which one is their own personal style Each Team Lead will begin to explore the importance of valuing each unique individual’s communication style and will begin to see the importance of adapting one’s own style as a leader to work effectively with others (MEAN it) Each Team Lead will practice/apply session learning on the floor (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Communication is personal
WHAT? Understanding Communication Styles Last session, we discussed how, in many ways, communication is both simple and complex at the same time. While most of us have our opinions about what it takes to be an effective communicator, we don’t often practice those very things that we think about. Instead, we are focused on what we want other people to change about how they communicate. We don’t always take a look in the mirror to examine what it is we need to do to help improve the circumstances around communication. Furthermore, in those instances when we do think about what we need to do to improve our own communication, we often want the quick fix – we want to be trained on the skills we need to be better communicators, and we think this will solve all of our communication problems. FACT: All of the training in the world will not help improve someone’s communication skills if they are not first willing to understand that STRONG COMMUNICATION REQUIRES A HIGH LEVEL OF AWARENESS – self-awareness and other-awareness. Understanding your own personal style of communicating as well as the communication styles of those around you will help you be a more effective communicator. In order to understand our and others’ communication patterns, we must invest a great deal of time into objectively observing communication patterns while at the same time we work on developing relationships based on trust. Trustful relationships Let’s begin today’s session by exploring each of our individual communication styles. First, let’s take a look at the Homework Challenge you were asked to complete for today.
What did you learn about yourself from filling out this worksheet and sharing the information with your teammates?
What did you learn about your teammates from this exercise?
Take a step back and look at the big picture – where do you and your teammates have some similarities in communication? What are the benefits of these similarities? What are the drawbacks?
Where do you and your teammates have differences in communication? What are the drawbacks of these differences? What are the benefits?
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Now, let’s build upon your initial thoughts about your own communication style and those of your teammates by exploring well-documented communication style theory. Psychologists and Social Behaviorists who study communication have identified four major styles that describe how humans communicate. The explanation of these styles can be found below: EXPRESSER (Socializer)
DRIVER (Controller)
RELATER (Supporter)
ANALYZER (Thinker)
How to Recognize:
They get excited.
They like their own way; decisive & strong viewpoints.
They like positive attention, to be helpful & to be regarded warmly.
They seek a lot of data, ask many questions, behave methodically & systematically.
Tends to Ask:
Who? (the personal dominant question)
What? (the results oriented question.)
Why? (the personal non-goal question.)
How? (the technical analytical question.)
What They Dislike:
Boring explanations/wasting time with too many facts.
Someone wasting their time trying to decide for them.
Rejection, treated impersonally, uncaring & unfeeling attitudes.
Making an error, being unprepared, spontaneity.
Reacts to Pressure and Tension By:
"Selling" their ideas or being argumentative.
Taking charge, taking more control.
Becoming silent, withdrawing, being introspective.
Seeking more data & information.
Best way to Work With:
Get excited with them. Show emotion.
Let them feel that they are in charge.
Be supportive; show you care.
Provide lots of data & information.
Likes To Be Measured By:
Applause, feedback, public recognition.
Results, goal-oriented.
Friends, close relationships.
Activity & busyness that leads to results.
Must Be Allowed To:
Get ahead quickly. Likes challenges.
Get into a competitive situation. Likes to win.
Relax, feel, care, know you care.
Make decisions at own pace, not cornered or pressured.
Will Improve With:
Recognition & some structure with which to reach the goal.
A position that requires cooperation with others.
A structure of goals & methods for achieving each goal.
Interpersonal and communication skills.
Likes to Save:
Effort. They rely heavily on hunches, intuition, feelings.
Time. They like to be efficient, get things done now.
Relationships. Friendship means a lot to them.
Face. They hate to make an error, be wrong or get caught without enough info.
For Best Results:
Inspire them to bigger & better accomplishments.
Allow them freedom to do things their own way.
Care & provide detail, specific plans & activities to be accomplished.
Structure a framework or "track" to follow.
** Adapted from: http://www.cedanet.com/meta/communication_styles.htm
After reading the above chart, which of the Communication Styles would you say best describes you?
Write that style here: ___________________________
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COMMUNICATION STYLE INVENTORY Now, flip to Appendix 1 and complete the Communication Style Inventory. Write in the “results” from the inventory here (your style): __________________________ Record your teammates names and styles below:
SO WHAT? Why are these exercises important to you? To your team? To your facility? In what ways can the information explored/learned today help improve your own personal communication skills? In what ways can the information explored/learned today help improve the overall communication of your team/the facility? NOW WHAT? What did you learn today that you will carry away with you?
How can you intentionally apply this learning on the floor? Set one action step that you will complete this week.
Communication is personal
HOMEWORK CHALLENGES: 1 – Please complete Appendix 2: Communication Styles Exercise before next session. This will help you begin to identify the communication styles of other people.
2 - Talk with your Supervisor about what you learned about your personal communication style. Ask them about the communication style. Talk about where your communication styles are similar and where they differ. Also, talk about tangible ways to understand more about the communication styles of your Associates. If you had to guess, which communication style would you say each of your Associates exhibits? Talk through this with your Supervisor and develop strategies for how to best communicate with each style exhibited by your Associates.
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SESSION 13 OBJECTIVES:
Team Leads will explore the concept of listening (THINK it) Team Leads will speak openly and honestly about how listening plays out on our team/in our facility (MEAN it) Team Leads will have clear action steps for application of the material we cover today (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Listening is Communicating too!
WHAT is LISTENING all about? Sure, it seems like a silly question – but think about it. What purpose(s) does listening to others often serve? What purpose(s) should listening to others serve? If you truly listen to each of these two questions, you will see the distinction. Listen to the following excerpt from Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change.” Listen intently. Listen to find the key insights provided in his short stories. Record those insights here:
Pause for a moment – think about how many hours each day people around you are speaking to you. Think about all of the information they are sharing. Compare that to how much information you actually hear. The ability to listen well is absolutely critical to your effectiveness as a communicator and as a leader. “To listen fully means to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the „music,‟ but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Ears operate at the speed of sound, which is far slower than the speed of light the eyes take in. Generative listening is the art of developing deeper silences in yourself, so you can slow our mind‟s hearing to your ears‟ natural speed, and hear beneath the words to their meaning.” - Peter Senge -
SO WHAT? WHY EFFECTIVE LISTENING IS IMPORTANT
o o o o o
Since the rise of the radio and the development of television, the spoken word has regained much of its lost stature (Bryant). Being listened to means we are taken seriously, our ideas and feelings are known, and, ultimately, what we have to say matters (Nichols). Generous listening enhances our own well-being and is the natural perspective of psychology, in which all human behavior is seen as motivated by the agendas of the self (Nichols). We learn our culture largely through listening; we learn to think by listening; we learn to love by listening; we learn about ourselves by listening (Robinson). Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeing isolated (Nichols).
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS o o o
In our society, listening is essential to the development and survival of the individual (Robinson). Most people will not really listen or pay attention to your point of view until they become convinced you have heard and appreciate theirs (Nichols).
Why is it important in your facility? On your team? For you in your role as Team Lead?
Some more “WHAT”s… SOME LISTENING STATISTICS o We listen at 125-250 words per minute, but think at 1000-3000 words per minute. o 85% of what we know that we have learned by listening. (Shorpe) o 75% of the time we should be listening, we are really distracted or preoccupied, which causes us to be forgetful of what people tell us. (Hunsaker) o We usually recall 50% of what is said immediately after we listen to someone talk. (Robinson) o Of the time that someone is talking, we spend 45% listening. (Robinson) o Long-term, we remember 20% of what we hear. (Shorpe) o Less than 2% of humans have had formal educational experience with listening. (Gregg) POOR LISTENING HABITS Effective listeners do their best to avoid these habits: 1. Calling the subject uninteresting 2. Criticizing the speaker &/or delivery 3. Getting over-stimulated 4. Listening only for facts (bottom line) 5. Not taking notes or outlining everything 6. Faking attention 7. Tolerating or creating distractions 8. Tuning out difficult material 9. Letting emotional words block the message 10. Wasting the time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought Source: Nichols, R. G. and L. A. Stevens (1957). Are you listening? New York, McGraw-Hill, as found at http://www.listen.org/pages/poor_listening_habits.html
IRRITATING LISTENING HABITS Do you ever find yourself falling into any of these habits? 1. Interrupting the speaker. 2. Not looking at the speaker. 3. Rushing the speaker, making him feel that he's wasting the listener's time. 4. Showing interest in something other than the conversation. 5. Getting ahead of the speaker and finishing her thoughts. 6. Not responding to the speaker's requests. 7. Saying, "Yes, but . . .," as if the listener has made up his/her mind. 8. Topping the speaker's story with "That reminds me. . ." or "That's nothing, let me tell you about. . ." 9. Forgetting what was talked about previously. 10. Asking too many questions about details. Source: Larry Barker & Kittie Watson, Listen Up - available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312242654/qid=973282752/sr=1-2/103-8 309184-3659817/internationallis
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SO WHAT? You’ve seen these habits before, haven’t you? Can you share a story about an experience you’ve had that illustrates any of these habits? And, let’s be honest…which of the above habits are you sometimes guilty of? Close your eyes for a minute and think about what your facility would look like if no one ever engaged in the above negative behaviors…what would it look / feel like? Good food for thought, huh? NOW WHAT? FIVE TIPS to help you improve your skill in this vital leadership competence: 1. Listen to understand, not to respond Effective listening goes beyond hearing someone’s words. Effective listening creates an environment where the other person feels that you understand them. This tip applies to attitude more than it does to behavior. Many people view dialogue like a tennis match where the two parties square off and hit the ball back-and-forth. In this approach to conversation, both parties are adversaries trying to “score the point.” To listen effectively, I suggest that you view dialogue more like a pitcher and catcher in a baseball game. The pitcher (speaker) throws the ball for the catcher (you) to receive it. The catcher only throws the ball back after he has it firmly in his grasp. In other words, listen to receive the meaning. Once you understand, then you can respond. 2. Be quiet Being quiet gives you the opportunity to hear the words, the tone, and the meaning behind the words. It gives you the chance to observe the speaker’s body language. To help you remember this tip, I’ll share two quick statements with you: • “When your mouth is open, your ears are closed.” • “LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters.” 3. Let them finish their thoughts In other words, don’t interrupt the speaker. From the previous tip, this idea seems obvious. However, I have seen many arguments and misunderstandings that stemmed from interruptions. It’s hard to remain silent. It’s even harder to remain silent until someone has completely expressed their idea. 4. Maintain eye contact Effective listening means observing everything about the speaker’s message. People communicate at least as much with their body language as they do with their words. Good listeners learn to “listen” with their eyes as well as with their ears. If you choose to work on something else (answer e-mail, fill out paperwork, etc.) while someone is speaking to you, they will not “feel” that they were heard. 5. Ask questions to ensure that you understand Just because you heard the words and observed the body language, don’t assume that you understand. If a particular point is unclear to you, ask a question to clarify it before you respond. Even if you think you understand the message, make sure you do by clarifying it with the speaker. You might say something like: • “Just to be sure I understand you, let me repeat back to you what I thought you said…” • “I heard you say… Is that correct?” • “If I understand correctly, your concern is…” When you clarify, remember to let them correct your understanding. You don’t have to agree with their perspective. You do have to make sure that you understand it. Good leaders are good listeners. Effective listening helps to resolve conflicts, build trust, inspire people, and strengthen teams. It often requires you to “bite your tongue,” and, from my personal experience, I know that it can be hard work. I also know that the results are worth the effort. Copyright 2006, Guy Harris - http://www.principledriven.com, from: http://www.insideindianabusiness.com/contributors.asp?id=718
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS HOMEWORK CHALLENGES: 1 – Complete the Listening Skills Quiz (Appendix 3) to learn about your strengths and areas for improvement as a listener. 2 - Enter into conversation with one person in your facility this week with no other intention but to practice the 5 Listening Tips listed above. Please do this before next week’s session, and come to next week’s session prepared to talk about the experience. SESSION 14 OBJECTIVES: To explore the concept of EMPATHIC LISTENING (THINK it) To speak openly and honestly about how Empathic Listening plays out on our team/in our facility (MEAN it) To have clear action steps for application of the material we cover today (SHOW it) _________________________________________________________________ HOMEWORK CHALLENGE CHECK IN! How’d it go?
What’s the big Idea?
Listening is more than hearing words
WHAT is EMPATHIC LISTENING? Well, let’s start with the definition of EMPATHY: Empathy is the ability to project oneself into the personality of another person in order to better understand that person's emotions or feelings. **Source: http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/
Empathic Listening, then, is listening with the intent to understand. The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully, deeply understand that person, emotionally as well as intellectually **Source: “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen Covey – p. 240
Through empathic listening the listener lets the speaker know, "I understand your problem and how you feel about it, I am interested in what you are saying and I am not judging you." The listener unmistakably conveys this message through words and non-verbal behaviors, including body language. In so doing, the listener encourages the speaker to fully express herself or himself free of interruption, criticism or being told what to do. It is neither advisable nor necessary for a to agree with the speaker, even when asked to do so. It is usually sufficient to let the speaker know, "I understand you and I am interested in being a resource to help you resolve this problem." Empathic listening is a core skill that strengthens the interpersonal effectiveness of individuals in their professional and personal lives. Empathic Listeners: 1. acknowledge the speaker, 2. increase the speaker's self-esteem and confidence, 3. tell the speaker, "You are important" and "I am not judging you," 4. gain the speaker's cooperation, 5. reduce stress and tension, 6. build teamwork, 7. gain trust, 8. elicit openness, 9. gain a sharing of ideas and thoughts, and 10. obtain more valid information about the speakers and the subject. To obtain these results, a skilled empathic listener: 1. takes information from others while remaining non-judgmental and empathic,
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acknowledges the speaker in a way that invites the communication to continue, and provides a limited but encouraging response, carrying the speaker's idea one step forward. **Source: http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/
SO WHAT can Empathic Listening do for our team?
Why is empathic listening so important in the realm of your day-to-day work?
What does a leader need to do in order to be an empathic listener? NOW WHAT? Guidelines for Empathic Listening Madelyn Burley-Allen offers these guidelines for empathic listening: 1. Be attentive. Be interested. Be alert and not distracted. Create a positive atmosphere through nonverbal behavior. 2. Be a sounding board -- allow the speaker to bounce ideas and feelings off you while assuming a nonjudgmental, non-critical manner. 3. Don't ask a lot of questions. They can give the impression you are "grilling" the speaker. 4. Act like a mirror -- reflect back what you think the speaker is saying and feeling. 5. Don't discount the speaker's feelings by using stock phrases like "It's not that bad," or "You'll feel better tomorrow." 6. Don't let the speaker "hook" you. This can happen if you get angry or upset, allow yourself to get involved in an argument, or pass judgment on the other person. 7. Indicate you are listening by o Providing brief, noncommittal acknowledging responses, e.g., "Uh-huh," "I see." o Giving nonverbal acknowledgements, e.g., head nodding, facial expressions matching the speaker, open and relaxed body expression, eye contact. o Invitations to say more, e.g., "Tell me about it," "I'd like to hear about that." 8. Follow good listening "ground rules:" o Don't interrupt. o Don't change the subject or move in a new direction. o Don't rehearse in your own head. o Don't interrogate. o Don't teach. o Don't give advice. o Do reflect back to the speaker what you understand and how you think the speaker feels. The ability to listen with empathy may be the most important attribute of communicators who succeed in gaining the trust and cooperation of others. Among its other advantages, as Burley-Allen points out, empathic listening has empowering qualities. Providing an opportunity for people to talk through things may clarify their thinking as well as provide a necessary emotional release. **Source: http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic_listening/
NOW WHAT? HOMEWORK CHALLENGE Once again, before next session, enter into a conversation with one person there in the facility with no other intention but to practice your empathic listening skills.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SESSION 15 OBJECTIVES: The group will explore (THINK it) the “WHAT”s behind Email Netiquette The group will spend some time making sense of the purpose of having effective Email Netiquette (MEAN it) Each Team Lead will use the session’s learning in their future email communications (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Online communication needs to be right the 1st Time
WHAT is “Netiquette?” Netiquette stands for “network etiquette.” "Netiquette" is basically the “do”s and “don't”s of online communication. Netiquette covers both common courtesy online and the informal "rules of the road" of cyberspace. In today’s session, we will focus on one specific component of netiquette: EMAIL COMMUNICATIONS. _______ A brief “SO WHAT” interjection… In today’s world, being an effective email communicator is vital to success. Of all internet activities, email is the most popular with almost 88% of all internet users in the US being regular emailers. This number jumps even higher when put in the context of the business world – approximately 90% of those who use the internet at work are using it to access business email. (Source: http://careerplanning.about.com/od/communication/a/email_etiquette.htm) ** This interjection brought to you by the letter E and the number 2…and now, back to our show… **
_______ Back to the “WHAT”s… Here are a few principles to keep in mind when using email as a form of communication: When you are the EMAIL WRITER: 1 – Remember: email is not an excuse to not be polite. In fact, it’s an opportunity to be overly polite. Think about it – you wouldn’t pick up the phone, call a customer, and not begin with asking them how they are and closing with thanking them, would you? Email should be the same. Here are some tips you can use to make your emails a bit more friendly: At the start of your email, before you get to business, say something like, “I hope this email finds you well” or “I hope you are doing well today.” Interspersed throughout your email, especially when you are making requests, be sure to use “please” End an email with, “Thank you and have a great day” or “Thank you for your time and consideration.” 2 – Pay attention to your tone. Tone is a difficult thing to explain. When you are speaking with someone verbally, oftentimes your feelings can come across by the way you say something. Or, you can sense the feelings of the person you are talking to because you can hear the feeling in their voice. This is what we mean by tone. It is easy to change your tone and to read another person’s tone when you're verbally communicating, but it’s very difficult when you're writing. The tone of an email is more about how the reader perceives it than the intention of the writer. As the writer of an email, your goal should be to come across as respectful, friendly, and approachable – even if the email is documenting corrective feedback or a serious issue. Of course, you wouldn't want to sound curt, demanding, defensive, or passiveaggressive. Sarcasm is a tone that is particularly difficult to understand over email, so it is best to avoid use of sarcasm over email altogether. It is vital that you learn how to re-read the emails you write before sending them with an “ear” (or technically, an eye) to how your tone might be perceived.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS 3 – BE CAREFUL IN YOUR USE OF UPPERCASE LETTERS and punctuation!!!!!!!!!!! Remember – in “Email Land,” uppercase letters are interpreted as shouting. And, overuse of punctuation adds emotion to your words. For instance, a lot of periods can be used to separate thoughts...or to intentionally imply unfinished thoughts…but use a lot of exclamation marks and it looks like you're angry!!!!!!!!!! How does a line of question marks look ??????? You might not intend strong emotion, but the other person might think you do. 4 - Be Concise. You are writing an email, not a dissertation. Make your points quickly and clearly; however, be sure that you don't leave out necessary details. If appropriate, make the body of your email short and sweet and include an attachment that contains lengthy information. (** In instances when providing a lot of information in the body of an email is important, by all means, include it. You may even want to start your email with an apology for being so wordy. 5 – Be professional. Email is neither an excuse to use Chat Room or Text Message talk (i.e. – abbreviations/shortcuts for words), nor it is an excuse to misspell words or use incorrect grammar. Check the spelling and grammar (including punctuation and capitalization) of your e-mail before sending it. Spelling and grammatical errors seem generally accepted in e-mail, but go beyond acceptable. Aim for excellence. ** TEAM ACTIVITY – Netiquette LINGO!!! ** 6 – Use attachments wisely. Don't attach large files without getting permission from your recipient first. Attachments are a great way, though, to be able to send detailed information without making the body of your email too long. 7 - Be aware of and intentional about to whom you are sending emails. This is especially the case when it comes to the “REPLY,” “REPLY TO ALL,” “TO,” “CC,” and “BCC” areas: REPLY vs. REPLY TO ALL: When replying to a message: 1.) Be sure you are replying to just the person(s) to whom you actually want to reply, and 2.) Be sure the person(s) to whom you actually want to reply are the appropriate people to actually reply to. You do not need to REPLY TO ALL when you want to communicate something to one person about the email. At the same time, if there is something you need to communicate to the entire group, there is no need to send your thoughts to only one person.
TO vs. CC vs. BCC: When sending a message: Use TO: A.) When you want everyone to whom you are sending the email to know to whom you are sending the email – people will be able to see all names listed in the “To” and “CC” areas. B.) For all of the people who this message will DIRECTLY effect
Use CC (“Carbon Copy”): A.) When you want everyone to whom you are sending the email to know to whom you are sending the email – people will be able to see all names listed in the “To” and “CC” areas. B.) For all of the people who this message will INDIRECTLY effect (if someone is in the CC area, they will interpret this as a message that is good/important for them to know about but that they might not necessarily need to do anything with)
Use BCC (“Blind Carbon Copy”): A.) When you don’t want everyone to whom you are sending the email to know to whom you are sending the email – people will be able to see all names listed in the “To” and “CC” areas, but not the emails in the “BCC” area. ** IMPORTANT: Be very careful using the BCC function! It would be inappropriate to use it in a manipulative or sneaky fashion. An appropriate example would be if you are sending an email to many people who no not know each other, and you are unsure as to whether recipients want other people to have access to their email addresses.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS 8 - Consider carefully what you write. Your emails are a permanent record and can be easily forwarded to others. Never accuse people, call them names, or suggest they aren't being smart. Email is not the appropriate avenue through which to have difficult conversations or to blow off steam. 9 - Write descriptive and accurate subject lines. Many busy people will only open messages with captivating subject lines. Think creatively, but do not deceive people. Also, many people will read through their emails in order of importance by subject line. So, if you have a subject line that accurately describes the content of your email, the recipient will know exactly what that email is about and know when to read it. 10 – Before hitting send, READ and REREAD your email. This will help you catch incorrect grammar and spelling (remember – do not solely rely on spell check!), but it can also help you check your tone. It is vital that you learn how to develop the skills of an objective proofreader so that you can remove yourself from what you’ve written and read it as if you were in the shoes of the person who will receive it.
WHEN YOU ARE THE EMAIL RECEIVER: 1.
Don’t read too much unto the tone of the email. Just as you are conscious about your tone as a writer, it is important for you to be non-defensive as a reader. Try to put yourself into the other person’s (the writer’s) shoes – give them the benefit of the doubt. Do not jump to conclusions and try to “read” what isn’t there. If you have questions about the tone of an email, find an opportunity to talk to the write directly (face to face or over the phone, if possible). Ask them to clarify what they were trying to say before you tell them how you interpreted the email. Remember – seeking first to understand before seeking to be understood is an important habit of highly effective communicators!
2.
Block off times to process your e-mail so that you can be focused and centered on it without distraction. Setting up at least 2 times per day without distraction to check your email should be sufficient (although you will probably check it throughout the day…). Creating a distraction-free environment will help you to be a more effective email communicator.
3.
Create file folders with specific names (by author, by subject – whichever way works for you!) in Outlook to save and sort your emails, so that you can keep important documentation in areas where it is easily accessible. Don't use your Inbox or Sent Mail as catchall holding tanks. Not only could this clog the server, but it can actually create communication obstacles for you down the road.
4.
Learn how to keep an address book to save e-mail addresses, automatically insert them into a new message and maintain groups of contacts. This can be a communication solution because it can save you time in sending emails and it can help you be sure you get an important message to all parties who need it.
5.
In the name of protecting your computer, be careful when you go to open attachments. Attachments often carry viruses. The sender may not even know they're sending you a virus. As a matter of fact, they may not even know they're sending you an email. There are many viruses that cause your email program to send everyone in your address book an infected file.
Sources: http://www.getmoredone.com/tipc.html and http://careerplanning.about.com/od/communication/a/email_etiquette.htm (Dawn Rosenberg McKay)
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SO WHAT? Self-Awareness Check Identify two areas that you feel are your personal strengths in your use of email as a form of communication: 1– 2–
Identify two areas that you feel are your personal opportunities for improvement in your use of email as a form of communication: 1– 2– NOW WHAT? Work together as a team to:
CREATE a TEAM TOP FIVE LIST of EMAIL BEHAVIORS that TICK US OFF. 12345-
IDENTIFY: What are three COMMITMENTS we need to make to each other (and that we would like to ask our Supervisors/Managers to commit to) in regards to how to use email to INCREASE the EFFECTIVENESS of our COMMUNICATION? 1– 2– 3–
Online communication needs to be right the 1st Time
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SESSION 16 OBJECTIVES: Team Leads will explore (THINK it) the “WHAT”s behind: o common “trips ups” when it comes to public speaking o the connection between charisma and public speaking o the “Four Ps of Inferiority” that sometimes keep us from wanting to speak in public Team Leads will be challenged to redefine “charisma” and identify tools to boost their individual ChariZma (MEAN it) Each Team Lead will use the session’s learning in their future Pubic Speaking opportunities (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Public speaking can be your friend
Just for fun, a few famous words about Public Speaking: “The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you‟re born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” -- Unknown “According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” -- Jerry Seinfeld __________________________________________________________________ GROUP EXERCISE: Introductions! Please introduce yourself to the rest of the group, using: Your Name Your Position Your Hometown Your Favorite color -
How do you think you did? Would you want to listen to the rest of what you have to say after your introduction? If “yes,” why? If “no,” why not? WHAT is PUBLIC SPEAKING? 1 - ALL speaking is PUBLIC SPEAKING! If you can start to see this, your skills will begin to improve dramatically. Specifically, though, when we say “Public Speaking,” we are typically referring to those opportunities where one must speak to a group of people in a relatively public setting (a setting more public than just a one-on-one conversation or where one person is speaking to a few people in a small, informal setting). One of the best ways to improve one’s public speaking skills is to learn what factors are typically keeping us from wanting to speak in public or from believing we are effective public speakers. We will refer to such factors from here on out as “Competing Forces.” What are the COMPETING FORCES for YOU as a public speaker? Some common Competing Forces are: - Fear of messing up - Fear of freezing up - Fear of stumbling over words - Fear of people looking at me - Fear of not being taken seriously
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- Uncomfortable standing up in the open - General discomfort - General nervousness - General Anxiety - Don’t want to sound fake
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS The best ways to beat ANY Competing Force are to: 1. PAUSE, breathe, refocus 2. Boost our ability to override these forces consistently, or our CHARIZMA. Now, let’s talk about WHAT makes Public Speeches EFFECTIVE or INEFFECTIVE? Team A, please brainstorm answers to the following questions: What are some characteristics that make speeches or speakers INEFFECTIVE? Team B, please brainstorm answers to the following questions: What are some characteristics that make speeches or speakers EFFECTIVE? Please share your ideas with the rest of the group, and allow them to share any ideas they might add to your lists. Take notes here:
INEFFECTIVE
EFFECTIVE
The ultimate goal here, of course is to avoid the INEFFECTIVE characteristics as speakers within our speeches, and aim for employing as many EFFECTIVE characteristics as possible. Of course, a speech is only as good as its speaker! The WHATs behind creating and delivering an outstanding speech: 1 - Building an Outline - The Baseball Diamond (Appendix 11) 2 - Choosing Your Words / Practicing Your Content * Once you’ve built an outline, write down key words you want to remember to use in your presentation * Record bullet points onto 3 X 5 notecards; better yet – onto large newsprint so your main points are out there for everyone to see * Practice, practice, Practice!
3 - Using Your Voice
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS * Tone and how to change it * Volume
4 - Watching Your Body Language * Stance * Eyes * Facial Expressions
* Not swallowing you words * Annunciation
* Body Movements * Hand gestures
SO WHAT?
Why is it important for you to develop effective public speaking skills in your role?
What difference will improving your public speaking skills make in how you are viewed by your teammates? By the Associates? By others in your life?
Which of the competing forces or ineffective characteristics “get you” the most frequently?
What do you think your facility’s culture would look and feel like if the entire Leadership Team used EFFECTIVE strategies all the time when Public Speaking? In what ways would it benefit you? Your teammates? The Associates? Your customers?
NOW WHAT? RE-INTRODUCTIONS! Please re-introduce yourself to your teammates (Name, Position, Hometown, Favorite Color) – use what we learned today to do so! Homework Challenge: If you do not normally run stand-up meetings, ask your supervisor to let you speak for at least 3 minutes in one next week. Use the strategies outlined in today’s session. Ask your Supervisor to use the Public Speaking Evaluation below to evaluate your speaking.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
PUBLIC SPEAKING EVALUATION (adapted from Nancy Hunter Denney‟s “How to Zing! Your Life and Leadership”) Place a check mark next to each trait (in the “Frequency of Use” column) whenever it is used by the speaker you are observing.
Trait
Frequency
Complimented/expressed appreciation to audience Smiled/appeared to be having fun Let silence happen instead of using space filler Used a personal story/example to make a point Used appropriate humor Identified 5 or less major points Used a medium other than voice to make or support a point If he/she strayed from outline, got back on track Faced left, right, and center audience equally Handled difficult questions appropriately Admitted to not knowing an answer Clarified a question if no one responds Repeated questions asked so that everyone is clear Made inappropriate remarks, uses inappropriate humor Became defensive if challenged by audience member Read directly from notes Made a self-serving comment (speaks out of ego) Apologized for being “bad” or not knowing something Looked away from audience Spoke “small” and softly Pointed out when they have lost their place Spoke quickly and ran words together Used distracting body movements Used space-fillers (“ummmm,” “like,” “right,” etc.) Used humor inappropriately
On a scale of 1 (awful) to 10 (exceptional), how did this speech rate in your eyes? Why? On a scale of 1 (insignificant) to 10 (worthy), how did this speaker make you feel? Why? How would you describe this speaker’s perceptiveness to the audience? What methods did the speaker use to engage their audience? How did the speaker respond if the audience appeared not to respond? What various methods were used to make points? What five or less points were made? How effectively was the speaker’s content presented? How did the speaker handle questions? What did the speaker do to persuade the audience to listen to their points? What did the speaker do to demonstrate their confidence?
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
SESSION 17 OBJECTIVES: Team Leads will learn the WHATs (THINK it) behind providing difficult feedback in an effective manner; to learn the +/Δ Feedback Model and how to use it Team Leads will explore the importance (MEAN it) of feedback in the Communication process Team Leads will be able to use the information provided in today’s session in a NOW WHAT Challenge and in all situations where you must provide difficult feedback (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Feedback is your most powerful tool
The WHATs of PROVIDING FEEDBACK: Feedback is a gift and should be offered and accepted as such. Feedback can stretch our comfort zones and when offered with the best of intentions can create amazing opportunities for growth. When offering feedback to anyone, it is critical that you remember that the behavior you are giving them feedback about is a reflection of who they are. Please be compassionate with your feedback. At the same time, it is vital for you to be clear, concise, and honest. Remember being a good challenger/critical feedback-giver is an important part of being an effective leader. Everyone needs both positive encouragement and critical feedback to improve. It is important that you are willing to put your name to any feedback you offer. If you are willing to say or write something, you should be willing to accept questions or challenges in regards to what you’ve said or written. In other words, it is important for you to hear feedback about your feedback and for you to be open to engaging in dialogue around the feedback you’ve provided. In this way, feedback is a dynamic cycle. One of the most vital components of making the feedback process easier for both the provider and the receiver is to make feedback a part of everything you do – make it a part of your culture. WHAT is the “PLUS/DELTA” Feedback Model? “PLUS/DELTA” is a model for offering feedback is a great way to approach providing feedback for someone. PLUS (+) is a positive piece of feedback. Example: “This action step seems to be well developed/well thought out.” DELTA (Δ) is the chemical sign for “change.” Delta feedback presents an opportunity for change or growth. For example: “You may need to consider additional actions steps to reach this goal.” Consider always providing at least one piece of PLUS and one piece of DELTA feedback each time you provide feedback for someone. If you go back and look at the Public Speaking Evaluation process used in the last 2 sessions, you will notice that it is structured in accordance with the PLUS/DELTA feedback model. So, you’ve already begun practicing it! SO WHAT? Why is the ability to provide effective PLUS and DELTA feedback so important? Why is it important to incorporate PLUS and DELTA feedback into your individual interactions as well as into your entire culture? Let’s take a look at why – by watching “The Pygmalion Effect: Managing the Power of Expectations.” You may remember this video from Values Training – we watched it when we explored the value of Enabling Others to Act. Watching this
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS video within the context of how effectively providing difficult feedback contributes to an atmosphere of effective overall communication will provide new insight into its importance.
Team Activity: “The Pygmalion Effect: Managing the Power of Expectations” Please take notes during the video that help answer the two questions under “SO WHAT?”
Why is the ability to provide effective PLUS and DELTA feedback so important?
Why is it important to incorporate PLUS and DELTA feedback into your individual interactions as well as into your entire culture?
As the Pygmalion Effect video illustrates, FEEDBACK is a vital component of building a culture where positive expectations are communicated and enforced. Without effective feedback, the Pygmalion Effect takes a negative turn and can have a devastating impact on a culture. The Pygmalion Effect, as well as the Galatea Effect, are summarized in Appendix 12 of this Participant Manual.
NOW WHAT? How to Provide Feedback that has IMPACT! Make your feedback have the impact it deserves by the manner and approach you use to deliver feedback. Your feedback can make a difference to people if you can avoid a defensive response. Here's How: Effective feedback is specific, not general. (Say, "The report you turned in yesterday was well-written, understandable, and made your points about the budget very effectively." Don't say, "Good report.") Effective feedback always focuses on a specific behavior, not on a person or their intentions. (When you held competing conversations during the meeting, when Mary had the floor, you distracted the people in attendance.) The best feedback is sincerely and honestly provided to help. Trust me; people will know if they are receiving it for any other reason. Successful feedback describes actions or behavior that the individual can do something about.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
Whenever possible, feedback that is requested is more powerful. Ask permission to provide feedback. Say, "I'd like to give you some feedback about the presentation, is that okay with you?" Effective feedback involves the sharing of information and observations. It does not include advice unless you have permission or advice was requested. Effective feedback is well timed. Whether the feedback is positive or constructive provide the information as closely tied to the event as possible. Effective feedback involves what or how something was done, not why. Asking why is asking people about their motivation and that provokes defensiveness. Check to make sure the other person understood what you communicated by using a feedback loop, such as asking a question or observing changed behavior. Effective feedback is as consistent as possible. If the actions are great today, they're great tomorrow. If the policy violation merits discipline, it should always merit discipline.
Source: Susan Heathfield http://humanresources.about.com/cs/communication/ht/Feedbackimpact.htm
ACTION STEP SETTING: Who is one person you know to whom you need to provide some difficult feedback?
What is the issue (please state it here in objective terms)?
Draft out what you can say to this person when you approach them, using what we learned today.
Please provide this feedback to this person before our next session.
Feedback is your most powerful tool
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS SESSION 18 OBJECTIVES: Each Team Lead will have a solid understanding (THINK it!) of the three basic difficult communication behaviors Team Leads will begin to explore the importance of learning how to work with people who exhibit these difficult behaviors as well as how to change their own negative behaviors (MEAN it) Each Team Lead will be able to practice/apply strategies for communicating with difficult personalities (SHOW it)
What’s the big Idea?
Communication can be hard And manageable
WHAT? Understanding Difficult Communication Patterns In our study of communication thus far, we’ve already talked about how good communication skills require a high level of awareness – self-awareness and other-awareness. Understanding your own personal style of communicating, as well as the communication styles of those around you, will help you be a more effective communicator. It is vital that we not only study the POSITIVE (COMMJNICATION SOLUTIONS) aspects of our own and others’ communication styles, but also those aspects that create COMMUNICATION POLLUTIONS. As we’ve already explored, communication is a complex process of meaning-making between SENDER and RECEIVER parties. In reality, the meaning that gets made (the result of the communication) is highly dependent upon the PERCEPTIONS of both the senders and receivers. How you perceive another person and their behaviors (and how they perceive you and yours!) will directly impact the final result of the communication process and its effectiveness. By becoming more aware of the power of perception, you can adapt more readily to others’ styles of communicating. This is particularly true when it comes to communicating with others who you perceive as being difficult or having difficult personalities. No matter which way you cut it, even if you view a communication pollution as another person’s fault because they are a difficult personality with whom to communicate, it is your responsibility as a leader to do everything in your control to create communication solutions with that person. Let’s look to what we’ve already learned in this training program for the best ways to create communication solutions with a difficult communicator: #1 – SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD (back to sessions 5 and 6). Your focus as a leader MUST be on seeking to truly understand the difficult communicator and where they are coming from. This will provide you invaluable insight into how you can communicate best with them, and it will help you build a common ground on which to stand with this person. More often than not, difficult communicators just want to feel (perceive – again, the power of perception!) that they are heard and understood. #2 – PROVIDE OPEN, HONEST, and CONSISTENT FEEDBACK (back to last session). It is vital, as you seek to understand difficult communicators, that you do not enable negative communication behaviors. The best way to enable positive behavior is to focus first and foremost on communication as a behavior, and to provide both PLUS and DELTA feedback on a consistent basis for how once can improve their communication behaviors. Again, this is your responsibility as a leader. WHAT are some difficult communication styles? As a team, talk about negative communication behaviors you have witnessed. Please do not name names or insinuate names – it is important that you speak professionally, constructively, and productively about these behaviors. There are three basic difficult communication styles: Aggressive, Passive, and Passive-Aggressive. Of course, based on unique differences that each individual possesses in their upbringing, their personalities, their skills, their social identities, their experiences, etc., either of these three basic styles will play out differently. However, in the following 2page chart, you will find some general descriptions for each of the three types.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS AGGRESSIVE
PASSIVE
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
Mottos and Beliefs
"Everyone should be like me." "I am never wrong." "I've got rights, but you don't."
"Don't express your true feelings." "Don't make waves." "Don't disagree." "Others have more rights than I do."
“Say what you really mean without actually saying it.” “Some people might want to think before they speak.” “I’m not making the decision – I don’t want to be blamed for how it turns out.”
Communication Patterns
Close minded Poor listener Has difficulty seeing the other person's point of view Interrupts Monopolizing
Characteristics
Achieves goals, often at others' expense Domineering, bullying Patronizing Condescending, sarcastic
Apologetic, selfconscious Trusts others, but not self Doesn't express own wants and feelings Allows others to make decisions for self Usually doesn't get what he or she wants
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Indirect Always agrees Doesn't speak up Hesitant
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Indirectly say what they want you to know Usually disagrees Manipulative Uses general terms Won’t come right out and say what they think Make excuses
Distrustful of others Manipulative Appear honest, but make underlying comments that confuse their message Think they are always right – manipulate to think so too Self-enhancing, but not straight-forward about it Will not admit anger
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS (cont’d)
PASSIVE
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
Behaviors
Puts others down Doesn't ever think they are wrong Bossy Moves into people's space, overpowers Jumps on others, pushes people around Know-it-all attitude Doesn't show appreciation
Sighs a lot Tries to sit on both sides of the fence to avoid conflict Clams up when feeling treated unfairly Asks permission unnecessarily Complains instead of taking action Lets others make choices Has difficulty implementing plans Self-effacing
In win-lose situations, they will make the opponent look bad or manipulate it so they “win.” If they don’t get their way, they make snide comments or pout and act as the victim. Will not directly make decisions so that they cannot be blamed for the outcome – they like to be able to blame others and be able to say “I told you so” Often friendly to your face, but malicious behind your back Talk about themselves a lot Often focus on the negative – what is wrong with a situation
Nonverbal Cues
Points, shakes finger Frowns Squints eyes critically Glares, stares Rigid posture Critical, loud, yelling tone of voice Fast, clipped speech
Fidgets Nods head often; comes across as pleading Lack of facial animation Smiles and nods in agreement Downcast eyes Slumped posture Low volume, meek Up talk Fast, when anxious; slow, hesitant, when doubtful
Verbal Cues
"You must (should, ought better)." "Don't ask why. Just do it." Verbal abuse
"You should do it." "You have more experience than I do." "I can't......" "This is probably wrong, but..." "I'll try..." Monotone, low energy
“Sure, if that’s what you think will be best…” “If this doesn’t work out, I don’t want to be blamed for it…” “Some people don’t know what they are doing” “Well, maybe if I had received the appropriate information in the first place…”
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AGGRESSIVE
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Snickering Eye-rolling Raising of eyebrows Making comments under their breath Faking a smile
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS (cont’d)
PASSIVE
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
Confrontation and Problem Solving
Must win arguments Threatens, attacks Operates from win/lose position
AGGRESSIVE
Avoids, ignores, leaves, postpones Withdraws, is sullen and silent Agrees externally, while disagreeing internally Expends energy to avoid conflicts that are anxiety provoking Spends too much time asking for advice, supervision Agrees too often
Will indirectly confront May agree to your face while disagreeing with you behind your back Avoids confronting problems directly, which usually results in gossiping about problems Might resort to lying when confronted Will avoid being the one tied to making the final decision, so as not to be blamed if the outcome is undesirable
Feelings Felt
Powerlessness Wonders why doesn't receive credit for good work Chalks lack of recognition to others' inabilities
Effects
Provokes counteraggression, alienation from others, ill health Wastes time and energy micromanaging others Pays high price in human relationships Fosters resistance, defiance, sabotaging, striking back, forming alliances, lying, covering up Forces compliance with resentment
Gives up being him or herself Builds dependency relationships Doesn't know where he or she stands Slowly loses self esteem Promotes others' causes Is not respected by others
Avoids the real goal/issue, so it never really gets addressed Can leave others feeling manipulated Might guilt others into making decisions against their better judgment Leaves others feeling confused and frustrated Will form relationships with others like them
Anger Hostility Frustration Impatience
Confusion Insecurity Anger (but unsure why) Guilt (usually after communicating because they usually know they were not honest/direct)
SO WHAT? It is important that you make sense of this material by relating it to real-life people/scenarios that you’ve encountered in your facility. In a productive manner, we are going to have a group conversation about such experiences. It is also important to keep in mind that each of us has probably displayed difficult communication behaviors at some point. NOW WHAT? What can I do looking forward? How can I use this information? Of course, we cannot control how others communicate, and we cannot force others to change the ways they communicate. These are some things we can do, though: We can challenge (by providing DELTA feedback) their inappropriate behaviors (in an appropriate manner, of course). It is important to document all instances of doing so. We can make them aware of how their negative communication patterns directly result in poor performance, hurt feelings of team members, etc. Again – be sure to document any conversations you have with them in this manner.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS We can change ourselves - how we communicate/interact with them Here are some tips for what we can change about ourselves in how we work with the three types of difficult communicators: AGGRESSIVE
PASSIVE
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
Build your own self-confidence, as well as that of those around you, so that you and they do not feel intimidated by them Focus on their communication as a behavior, not as their whole personality As often as possible, work with them in a 1:1 or very small group setting – it will give you the opportunity to confront their behaviors head-on without others being witness to it. It may also “take the wind out of their sails” if there is no “audience” there for them to “perform” for. Take time to think about what you want to say and how you will word what you want to say before you say it – be sure to deliver your message in the most nonthreatening way possible Do everything you can to deescalate situations that the aggressive communicator works so hard to escalate. You can do so by: being sure that your own tone of voice stays calm, steady, and welcoming; making sure that the content of your words remains non-threatening and objective; maintaining open, confident, nonthreatening body language. If the aggressive communicator becomes abusive to you or others (either verbally or physically), calmly put an end to the conversation/situation, and speak with your Supervisor immediately about how to proceed. Do not feed their anger/aggression – always aim to de-escalate the negative attention they create.
Help them build their self-confidence. Take the time to coach them along in difficult tasks – encourage them when they have done good work. Recognize when they communicate effectively so as to reinforce this behavior. Challenge them to find ways to healthily and productively disagree with you and others. Reward them when they speak their mind in a productive, appropriate manner. Include them in group settings often and encourage interaction between group members instead of being the one to talk to them Talk with them about what motivates them – use what they share with you to motivate them in the future Ask them what they think. Ask them to be honest with you when they answer. Be sure to use open body language and a welcoming tone of voice so that they know you are being sincere about wanting to know what they think. Follow up with them 1:1 after you have talked with them in a larger group setting. Initiate a conversation that prompts them to explain/demonstrate their understanding of and thoughts about the topics you covered in the group setting. Be conscious of how you provide recognition to them – they might not like public recognition, but you will not know unless you ask. Whenever you get time 1:1 with them, coach them to not fear conflict.
Focus on their communication as a behavior, not as their whole personality Listen to them empathically. Strive to hear what it is they are not telling you (or subtly, but intentionally trying to show you that they are not telling you). Never assume that they are telling you the truth. Ask clarifying questions to discover what it is they are really saying. Use the phrase, “What I am hearing you say is…” and repeat back to them, using their exact words. Follow with, “Is this accurate?” If they say “yes,” ask them “Is this really what you mean? Or is there something else you want me to know?” Do not engage with the victim mentality they may display. Talk with them about opportunities to empower themselves to make the situation better next time. Be patient, respectful, and polite – they will be more likely to respond. If you are in a 1:1 setting, directly confront passive-aggressive behavior appropriately. Spend time trying to learn why this person acts the way they act/communicates the way they communicate. PassiveAggressiveness is among the hardest of communication styles to work with, because you can never really know what the person is thinking or how they will act. Be prepared for anything, but getting to know these individuals will assist you in your future interactions with them.
The most effective way to work with Aggressive, Passive, or Passive-Aggressive communicators is to develop your own Communication Skills. Developing the skills of an ASSERTIVE Communicator, as outlined below, will be tremendously helpful for you:
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS ASSERTIVE Mottos and Beliefs
Communication Patterns
Characteristics
Behaviors
Nonverbal Cues
Verbal Cues
Confrontation and Problem Solving Feelings Felt
Effects
" Believes self and others are valuable Knowing that assertiveness doesn't mean you always win, but that you handled the situation as effectively as possible "I have rights and so do others." Effective, active listener States limits, expectations States observations, no labels or judgments Expresses self directly, honestly, and as soon as possible about feelings and wants Checks on others feelings Non-judgmental Observes behavior rather than labeling it Trusts self and others Confident Self-aware Open, flexible, versatile Playful, sense of humor Decisive Proactive, initiating Operates from choice Knows what it is needed and develops a plan to get it Action-oriented Firm Realistic in her expectations Fair, just Consistent Takes appropriate action toward getting what she wants without denying rights of others
Open, natural gestures Attentive, interested facial expression Direct eye contact Confident or relaxed posture Vocal volume appropriate, expressive Varied rate of speech "I choose to..." "What are my options?" "What alternatives do we have?" Negotiates, bargains, trades off, compromises Confronts problems at the time they happen Doesn't let negative feelings build up Enthusiasm Well-being Even-tempered Increased self-esteem and self-confidence Increased self-esteem of others Feels motivated and understood Others know where they stand
* Content adapted from: Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC, Greenwich, CT, 1/99) http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/sba/comm_style.htm Joni Rose,1/21/07: http://trainingpd.suite101.com/article.cfm/communication_styles
And a final “NOW WHAT?” question for you: What is it that you need to change about yourself TODAY about how you communicate with others? Write this in an action step you can accomplish in future interactions:
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
APPENDICES
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
COMMUNICATION STYLE INVENTORY This is an informal survey, designed to determine how you usually act in everyday related situations. The idea is to get a clear description of how you see yourself. Circle A or B in each pair of statements below, which shows the one that MOST, describes you.
1.
A) I’m usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them. B) I’m not usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them.
2.
A) I usually react slowly and deliberately. B) I usually react quickly and spontaneously.
3.
A) I’m usually guarded about other people’s use of my time. B) I’m usually open to other people’s use of my time.
4.
A) I usually introduce myself at social gatherings. B) I usually wait for others to introduce themselves to me at social gatherings.
5.
A) I usually focus my conversations on the interests of the people involved, even if that means straying from the business or subject at hand. B) I usually focus my conversations on the tasks, issues, business, or subject at hand.
6.
A) I’m usually not assertive, and I can be patient with a slow pace. B) I’m usually assertive, and at times I can be impatient with a slow pace.
7.
A) I usually make decisions based on facts or evidence. B) I usually make decisions based on feelings , experiences or relationships.
8.
A) I usually contribute frequently to group conversations. B) I usually contribute infrequently to group conversations.
9.
A) I usually prefer to work with and through others, providing support when possible. B) I usually prefer to work independently or dictate the conditions in terms of how others are involved.
10.
A) I usually ask questions or speak tentatively and indirectly. B) I usually make empathic statements or directly expressed opinions.
11.
A) I usually focus primarily on ideas, concepts, or results. B) I usually focus primarily on persons, interactions, and feelings.
12.
A) I usually use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonations to emphasize points. B) I usually do not use gestures, facial expressions, and voice intonations to emphasize points
13.
A) I usually accept others’ points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns). B) I usually don’t accept others’ points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns)
14.
A) I usually respond to risk and change in a cautious or predictable manner. B) I usually respond to risk and change in dynamic or unpredictable manner.
15.
A) I usually prefer to keep personal feelings and thoughts private, sharing only when I wish to do to. B) I usually find it natural and easy to share and discuss my feelings with others.
16.
A) I usually seek out new or different experiences and situations. B) I usually choose known or similar situations and relationships.
17.
A) I’m usually responsive to others’ agendas, interests, and concerns. B) I’m usually directed toward my own agendas, interests and concerns.
18.
A) I usually respond to conflict slowly and indirectly.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS B) I usually respond to conflict quickly and directly. Survey taken from The Platinum Rule by Tony Alessandra, Ph.D, & Michael J. O‟Connor Ph.D. New York, New York, Warner Brooks 1996
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 1 (cont‟d)
ANSWER SHEET
TOTALS
O
G
D
I
1A 3B 5A 7B 9A 11B 13A 15B 17A
1B 3A 5B 7A 9B 11A 13B 15A 17B
2B 4A 6B 8A 10B 12A 14B 16A 18B
2A 4B 6A 8B 10A 12B 14A 16B 18A
_____
_____
_____
_____
Total the numbers of items circled in each column and write it on the spaces above. Now, compare the “O” column with the “G” column and circle the letter that has the highest total - O or G. Then compare the “D” column with the “I” column and circle the letter that has the highest total - D or I. If you circled the G and D, you tend toward being a Controller/Director. If you circled the O and D, you show many qualities of a Promoter/Socializer. If you circled the O and I, you’re predominantly a Supporter/Relater. If you circled the G and I, you have lots of characteristics of an Analyzer/Thinker. RELATER/SUPPORTER • Harmonizer • Values acceptance and stability in circumstances • Slow with big decisions; dislikes change • Builds networks of friends to help do work • Good listener; timid about voicing contrary opinions; concerned for others’ feelings • Easy-going; likes slow, steady pace • Friendly & sensitive; no person in unlovable • Relationship Oriented
EXPRESSER/SOCIALIZER • Entertainer • Values enjoyment and helping others with the same • Full of ideas and impulsive in trying them • Wants to work to be fun for everyone • Talkative and open about self; asks others’ opinions; loves to brainstorm • Flexible; easily bored with routine • Intuitive, creative, spontaneous, flamboyant approach • Optimist; nothing is beyond hope • Celebration Oriented
ANALYZER/THINKER • Assessor • Values accuracy in details & being right • Plans thoroughly before deciding to act • Prefers to work alone • Introverted; quick to think and slow to speak; closed about personal matters • Highly organized; even plans spontaneity! • Cautious, logical, thrifty approach • Thoughtful; no problem is too big to ponder • Idea Oriented
DRIVER/CONTROLLER • Commander • Values getting the job done • Decisive risk taker • Good at delegating work to others • Not shy but private about personal matters; comes on strong in conversation • Likes to be where the action is • Take charge, enterprising, competitive, efficient approach • Fearless; no obstacle is too big to tackle • Results Oriented
Survey taken from The Platinum Rule by Tony Alessandra, Ph.D. and Michael J. O‟Connor Ph.D. New York, New York, Warner Brooks 1996
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 2
COMMUNICATION STYLES EXERCISE Identify the communication style of each person described below. Simply use a letter S (Supporter/Relator); C (Controller/Director); P (Promoter/Socializer); A (Analyzer/Thinker). 1. _____George can quickly tell what’s going on in any situation and is not afraid to speak out about what should be done. He doesn’t follow the latest fad, but wears clothes that are practical. When you first meet George, you notice he is friendly. Later you realize he hasn’t told you much about his personal life. You go out to lunch with George. He orders steak medium rare, but the meat is served nearly raw. George shouts for the waiter, and complains loudly. The waiter apologizes and takes the steak back to be cooked longer, but George doesn’t want to wait. He demands to see the manager and tells her in the future he’ll eat elsewhere. You both grab a lunch at a drive-through and are back at the office in time for George’s next meeting. 2. _____Dave is really a nice guy. He’s open and always willing to listen. On his desk are lots of photos with family and friends, many of them taken at Disneyland, the “happiest place on earth.” Dave usually dresses in soft, warm colors, and hates to wear a coat and tie. You go out to lunch with Dave and he orders steak, well done. When he cuts into it, however, it’s overdone and tough. He doesn’t say a thing to you, and continues to eat. The waiter comes by and asks, “How is your steak?” Dave hesitantly replies he’s sorry to say he likes his steak a little more tender. “Would you like me to take it back?” Dave answers, “Only if it’s not too much trouble.”
3. _____Jean is a rather complicated person. She cares a lot about what others think of her, but she is sometimes callous about the feelings of others. So she’s both sensitive and insensitive. It can be confusing! There is no confusion about one thing-Jean is an excellent planner. She gathers all the data and can foresee potential problems. She researches ways to avoid them, at little cost to the company. At her desk, Jean displays her college diploma, framed, and a list of company policies. You go out to lunch with Jean, who orders steak medium well. It’s a shade too pink for her, so she requests the waiter to have the chef cook it for exactly 2 and a half minutes more.
4. _____Caroline is a popular person with a big ego. She gets into many circumstances where she is the one to confront problems, because she knows how she thinks and feels about may issues. Caroline speaks her mind, but doesn’t like to alienate others in the process. So she tries to make them feel good, about themselves and her. Caroline has a large closet full of clothes with lots of color, texture and bold designs. At her desk is a blown-up photo of her and the company president having fun at last year’s Christmas party. You go out to lunch with Caroline and the steak is not cooked to her liking at all. She calls the waiter over immediately and asks for another plate. She quickly decided to try something else. “Bring me the sword fish special instead!”
Exercise taken from The Platinum Rule by Tony Alessandra, Ph.D. and Michael J. O‟Connor Ph.D. New York, New York, Warner Brooks 1996
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 3
LISTENING SKILLS QUIZ SOURCE: “Charisma: Seven Keys to Developing the Magnetism that Leads to Success,” By Tony Alessandra, PHD, Copyright: 1998 Tony Alessandra, Pages: 116-118
For each pair of statements below, distribute three points between the two alternatives (A and B), depending on how characteristic of you the statement is. Although some pairs of statements may seem equally true for you, assign more points to the alternative that is more representative of your behavior most of the time.
1A_____ I almost always remember what people have recently said to me, and thus am able to impress them by later calling up such small details in conversation with them. 1B_____ I frequently forget details of what people have said and find myself asking them to repeat. 2A_____ I'm pretty good at concentrating on speakers' words and meanings. 2B_____ I tend to argue with speakers mentally, or plan my reply, or jump ahead and try to figure out where they're going with their remarks before they actually get there. 3A_____ I can usually listen dispassionately to what people are saying. 3B_____ I often feel myself reacting to what people are saying before they're finished. 4A_____ Though tempted, I almost never interrupt someone who's talking. 4B_____ I do sometimes interrupt because I believe a fruitful dialogue requires that I make some points as they occur to me and at the point where they'll do the most good. 5A_____ I often take notes, physically or mentally, on what someone says so that I can respond fully when he or she is done. 5B_____ I easily get the gist of what someone is saying without taking notes, which might interfere with my concentration. 6A_____ I make a determined effort not to judge people until I've heard all of what they have to say. 6B_____ I'm a good judge of character and I can often get a good "read" on people before the conversation is over. 7A_____ I acknowledge people's remarks with nods of the head, smiles or frowns, exclamations, or whatever other response shows them that I'm alert and understanding them. 7B_____ I concentrate on what the other person is saying rather than trying to send all sorts of signals before they are done. 8A_____ When someone is having a conversation with me, I usually turn off the radio or TV, hold my calls, wait to return email, and otherwise minimize disruptions. 8B_____ I'm capable of doing several things at once while still listening attentively to others. 9A_____ In conversations, I maintain steady eye contact with the person speaking. 9B_____ I frequently avert my glance so as not to be intimidating to the speaker. 10A_____I avoid fidgeting, cracking knuckles, stretching, jingling keys, or other mannerisms while someone is talking. 10B_____I make the talker as comfortable as possible by trying to act naturally, which means adhering to my normal mannerisms.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 3 (cont‟d)
SCORING: Please add point totals under "A" and enter here:_____ Please add point totals under "B" and enter here:_____
If your "A" score is significantly greater than your "B" score (and if you were truly honest!), you are a fairly strong in listener. The more lopsided your "A" score, the better listener you are. If your "A" score exceeds your "B" by, say, a 2 to 1 margin, your listening "glass" is far fuller than most.
Conversely, if your "B" score approximates your "A" score, you may have identified an improvement opportunity. And if the "B" score is higher than your "A," that's an indication that you need lots of work in this area.
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 10
NETIQUETTE LINGO!
L
I
N
G
O
B/C
TMI
GTG
GR8
IMO
KISS
THX
NBD
JK
DKDC
FAQ
TTYL
FREE :) SPACE!
GTK
ROFL
PLZ
L8R
BTW
ASAP
BRB
TY
DIY
OMG
LOL
FYI Apendix 11 – Next page
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
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IMPACTING LIVES â—? DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 12
History Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies A weekend golfer steps up to the tee fearing that he is going to slice the ball. Sure enough, off into the rough it goes. A promising young professional goes to the front of the room prepared and confident about her presentation to the committee. She ends up responding to and calming the committee's concerns and gets congratulated on a job well done. To what extent do we really have control over the events that unfold in our lives? Can our expectations become a reality? Do they always? In 1948 Dr. Robert Merton formalized the phenomenon of selffulfilling prophecies (SFPs) and began to study their impact. He was the first then to formalize the notion that our expectations can have a powerful influence upon the future that unfolds, even in fact when we might not consciously be aware of those expectations. An especially important contribution of Merton's work was in describing that it was people's behaviors and actions that caused outcomes, not merely their beliefs or expectations alone. What he found is that people behave in ways that are consistent with and thus ultimately help confirm or fulfill their prophecies. Behavioral scientists next wondered, besides influencing the outcome of events, can our expectations influence other people as well? A successful and competent college graduate had been recently hired as a corporate accountant of a large holding company. Although things started out well, it soon became apparent that his supervisor did not believe that he had the ability to be successful at his job. She became critical of his efforts, and more vigilant of any of his behaviors that supported her forgone conclusion that he was a low performer. And although she said she expected a lot out of him, she never really' expected (or believed) that he would come through, and this was communicated through her actions, verbal intonations, and facial expressions. All of this took its toll on this young man's opinion of his own ability, until he doubted whether he could be competent in accounting. Within two years the supervisor fired him. His next job was as a Senior Accounting Analyst where, as he later described it, an incredible transformation took place. He worked for a manager who frequently indicated that he hired only top people, and then gave them the freedom and autonomy to do their job. Extreme confidence in this young man's abilities were communicated as he was given sole responsibility for designing and completing the company's $18million operating and $5 million capital budgets, as he interacted with directors throughout the company (who treated him as a knowledgeable liaison to the accounting department), and as his boss brought him along to meetings with the company CEO, where his opinion and expertise were sought. He blossomed into a star performer as he started working harder and more conscientiously to merit the confidences placed in him. Within less than a year, he was being considered for a promotion to accounting supervisor. These two true incidents involve the same person with the same abilities, but an incredibly different result. Why? What made the difference? Although this was not a scientific study and there could have been several factors that influenced these outcomes, this story highlights how people may be impacted by significant persons who, on the positive side, may encourage, provide strong examples and guided opportunities, and help to expand persons' visions of their capabilities and help them to achieve more. All of us can probably recall people in our lives who have had similar instrumental roles. Situations like the ones above have come to be known as the Pygmalion Effect - increased achievement due to the high expectations and beliefs of others. The Pygmalion effect gets its name from Greek mythology. The legend is that Pygmalion, who was the King of Cyprus, carved an ivory statue of the ideal woman, who he then named Galatea. Through the strength of his own will and love, and with the assistance of the goddess Venus, the statue was brought to life. This phenomenon of the power of expectations was later the basis for George Bernard Shaw's play "Pygmalion" and the musical "My Fair Lady" -stories of how Professor Henry Higgins helps transform Eliza Doolittle from a lowly flower girl to a refined and elegant lady. The Pygmalion effect can also work in the opposite direction-negative or low expectations leading to poor results. This has been dubbed by some as the Golem effect, for the Hebrew term for "fool. Appendix 12 (contâ€&#x;d)
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Four Pygmalion Factors 1.
Climate: This refers to the tone of the environment that we set for people. How supportive is it? How important do you make assignments seem and how competent and important do you make people feel? What kind of social and emotional atmosphere is there? This includes explicitly communicating high expectations, AND your confidence that they have the ability to do it. The climate is created through both verbal and non-verbal means. Good behaviors that communicate high expectations include: Being verbally supportive and encouraging Providing positive non-verbal cues through tone of voice, eye contact, facial expressions, and body posture and movements Helping employees set challenging goals Poor behaviors that communicate low expectations include: Being distracted, in a hurry, or otherwise not giving an employee your full attention Verbally criticizing their competence or potential Negative non-verbal cues through voice, face, and body
2.
Input: This entails the amount of teaching, helpful information, and resources (including our time) that we provide. Good behaviors that communicate high expectations include: Spending "extra" time with people Providing ideas to follow up on or sources for further information Poor behaviors that communicate low expectations include: Not giving people vital information to do a job Not giving people sufficient direction or guidance
3.
Output: This refers to the amount of opportunity we give people to learn and "perform". Good behaviors that communicate high expectations include: Allowing them to express their opinions and ideas (even disagreeing ones) Giving them new assignments (or a variety of assignments including incrementally challenging ones) Giving them opportunities to learn or practice skills (e.g., training, projects) Allowing them to gain exposure to and visibility with other people and departments (especially upward) Poor behaviors that communicate low expectations include: Cutting people off when they are speaking Not seeking their opinions or insights Limiting the number and scope of their work assignments
4.
Feedback: Includes the amount, quality, and tone of feedback we give regarding effort and performance. Good behaviors that communicate high expectations include: Providing helpful suggestions on how people might be able to improve or do things better Positively reinforcing desirable behaviors (e.g., praise, recognition, rewards, etc.). This should be sincere, specific, and frequent enough Making sure any feedback regarding poor performance is done in a positive way, wherein the employee(s) can sense that you have their best interests at heart and you reinforce your belief in their ability to do better Poor behaviors that communicate low expectations include: Providing mostly negative, vague, or limited feedback Criticizing the person (instead of their behaviors), making negative generalizations (e.g., negative labels)
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS Appendix 12 (cont‟d)
The Galatea Effect The Galatea effect occurs when high self-expectations result in greater personal achievement. This is when we act as our own Pygmalion, fulfilling our own prophecy about ourselves. Creating Galatea effects is also one of the ways in which Pygmalions transfer their high expectations, beliefs, and confidence to employees who then fulfill that positive prophecy. The story below illustrates the power of the Galatea effect. A big-five accounting firm brought in an academic consultant to help improve staff auditors‟ confidence and performance early on. Some of the professionals were randomly chosen to meet with the consultant whose mission was to increase their confidence to be able to learn and successfully perform the rather complicated and difficult financial audit process. He spoke with them about their past achievements in life, about how they had been hired out of the hundreds who had applied (because they possessed the qualities and abilities that top performers at the firm had), and shared with them the high expectations and confidence of the partners. These employees then received three monthly communications from firm managers or partners expressing their appreciation for the difficulty of tasks the employees had and reinforcing their belief in the employees' abilities to be successful. At the end of three months these employees still had higher self-confidence than their peers did and half of them were still outperforming the others. Three Ways to Create the Galatea Effect for others 1.
Give the Employee Tasks to Perform: Our self-confidence grows the more we have experience in a given area. The more we have successfully accomplished things, the greater our self-confidence in that area. Lead employees to successfully complete initially small and then progressively more difficult work assignments early on (e.g., a series of practice assignments). Provide employees with opportunities to learn and perform sooner, in a variety of ways, and with progressively more difficult assignments. Be sure to tailor the rate and sequence of assignments to ensure that employees sufficiently succeed at each task.
2.
Involve Them with Successful Models: This includes both giving employees the opportunity to see other employees successfully performing tasks, as well as telling them how others have succeeded. Models have been found to be most influential when: The employee can watch the model performing the tasks successfully- i.e., to see how they do it (versus just hearing about it). Of course, this is not always possible. The employee perceives the model to be similar to him or herself in terms of age, capability, and other personal characteristics. The model succeeds after overcoming initial difficulty, versus succeeding easily. The model produces results that are clearly identified as success.
3.
Use Verbal Persuasion: Communicate to employees with messages and in ways that boost their self-confidence and help convince them of their ability to perform at a high level. Research indicates that the following factors are important for the manager and employees. Characteristics if the Manager: credibility, sincerity, trustworthiness, expertise, prestige, and familiarity with the demands of the employee's tasks consensus of the messages among multiple managers, directors, etc. Perceptions of the Employee (Influence attempts are ineffective when…): does not believe that the manager's behavior is related to the employee's potential or actual behavior thinks that similar encouragement, assistance, or bolstering is given indiscriminately to all workers believes that the manager is engaging in these activities simply to motivate him or her to work harder
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