SHOP LEGEND & LORE’S Online Bookstore of the Strange, Unusual, and Little Known More than 200 books about things you never knew you wanted to know anything about until you knew you could! Here are just a few. For more, go to www.LegendandLoreMagazine.com/bookstore.html Buried Treasures of California: Legends from California's Mountains, Deserts, Beaches, and Cities. by W. C. Jameson. This volume, the seventh in W.C. Jameson's buried treasures series, contains thirty such tales of forgotten riches. It was these tales and others like them that drove westward expansion, and though many of the legendary California treasures have been unearthed, many still remain. It Looked Good on Paper: Bizarre Inventions, Design Disasters, and Engineering Follies. by Bill Fawcett. A remarkable compendium of wild schemes, mad plans, crazy inventions, and truly glorious disasters Every phenomenally bad idea seemed like a good idea to someone. How else can you explain the Ford Edsel or the sword pistol—absolutely absurd creations that should have never made it off the drawing board? It Looked Good on Paper gathers together the most flawed plans, half-baked ideas, and downright ridiculous machines throughout history that some second-rate Einstein decided to foist on an unsuspecting populace with the best and most optimistic intentions. Some failed spectacularly. Others fizzled after great expense. One even crashed on Mars. But every one of them at one time must have looked good on paper. The Best Book of Useless Information Ever: A Few Thousand Other Things You Probably Don't Need to Know (But Might As Well Find Out). by Noel Botham. If you find yourself transfixed by the most trivial of trivia, or mesmerized by the most minor of minutiae, The Useless Information Society's latest findings can satisfy your every need. This wide-ranging collection will fill every nook and cranny of your brain with information you'll surely never need, but will enjoy learning anyway! Did you know that penguins can jump six feet out of the water? - that everyone is color-blind at birth? Would you care to know what the first meal eaten on the moon was? What country drinks the most Coca-Cola? (It's not the United States.) In 1995, a secret society was formed comprising Britain's foremost thinkers, writers, and artists to trade and share in useless information (or, as founding member Keith Waterhouse, playwright and journalist, would have it,
Elephants on Acid: And Other Bizarre Experiments. by Alex Boese. When Tusko the Elephant woke in his pen at the Lincoln Park Zoo on the morning of August 3, 1962, little did he know that he was about to become the test subject in an experiment to determine what happens to an elephant given a massive dose of LSD. In Elephants on Acid, Alex Boese reveals to readers the results of not only this scientific trial but of scores of other outrageous, amusing, and provocative experiments found in the files of modern science. Secret Lives of the U. S. Presidents: What Your Teachers Never Told You About the Men of the White House. by Cormac O'Brien. Your high-school history teachers never gave you a book like this one! Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the men in the White House, complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts.
Book of the Bizarre: Freaky Facts and Strange Stories. by Varla Ventura. Did you know duck dander is hallucinogenic? Or that Katherine Hepburn had a phobia of dirty hair? Have you ever wondered about the Magickal Skull of Doom or contemplated the mysterious Transylvanian Tablets? The Book of the Bizarre is a veritable treasure trove of startling and stranger-than-fiction trivia that spans history, continents, even worlds. Never before have so many truly frightful facts been gathered together in one place. 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived: How Characters of Fiction, Myth, Legends, Television, and Movies Have Shaped Our Society, Changed Our Behavior, and Set the Course of History. by Allan Lazar, Dan Karlan, Jeremy Salter. From Santa Claus to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, from Uncle Sam to Uncle Tom, here is a compelling, eye-opening, and endlessly entertaining compendium of fictional trendsetters and world-shakers who have helped shape our culture and our lives.
The Beauty of the Beasts: Tales of Hollywood's Wild Animal Stars. by Ralph Helfer. The Beauty of the Beasts is a chronicle of many years Ralph Helfer spent as a Hollywood animal behaviorist, and is full of behind–the–scenes accounts of the many television programs and films in which Helfer's animals appeared, including Charlie's Angels and The Ten Commandments, and the stars he and his animals worked with such as Elvis Presley, Clint Eastwood, and Marilyn Monroe. But this is more than a story of the famous, both four and two–legged –– it's also about the important roles animals play in our lives, and how much less human we would be without them. Death by Stupidity: The 1,001 Most Ridiculous, Bizarre and Astonishingly Idiotic Ways People Have Kicked the Bucket. by David Southwell. If the stories were not true, no one would believe that these 1,001 people managed to die in such utterly stupid yet highly amusing ways, but they did. Death by Stupidity presents hundreds of newly collected accounts of what might kindly be described as actions lacking foresight or less-kindly described as really idiotic ways to meet one's maker. The Good, the Bad, and the Mad: Some Weird People in American History. by E. Randall Floyd. The quiet spinster who erupted one day in a blinding flash of violence, the brilliant scientist who was terrified of women wearing pearl earrings, the inexperienced pilot who took off from New York bound for Los Angeles and landed 27 hours later in Dublin! These are just a few of the many saints, sinners, hucksters, and oddballs you'll meet in The Good, The Bad & The Mad. Take a Walk on the Dark Side: Rock and Roll Myths, Legends, and Curses. by R. Gary Patterson. Take a Walk on the Dark Side is the ultimate book for today's rock and roll fan: a fascinating compendium of facts, fictions, prophecies, premonitions, coincidences, hoaxes, doomsday scenarios, and other urban legends about some of the world's most beloved and mysterious pop icons.
The History of Bathing in America The Naked Truth & Bare Facts
(and elsewhere)
In which, we feature H. L. Mencken's fictional history of the American bathtub, which, among other lies, averred that doctors thought bathing was unhealthy and that laws were passed against the practice, along with his later admission to the hoax and his wonder at the gullibility of the people, including encyclopedia editors and congressmen, who believed it all. H.L. Mencken, known as the “Sage of Baltimore,” was an iconoclast who had little respect for almost everybody. He called the masses the “booboisie,” and his regular columns in the Baltimore Sun speared many a sacred cow. In 1917, he wrote a fictional history of bathing in the United States that was published in the New York Evening Mail and which, despite many internal clues as to its fictional nature, many learned people took as fact. We reprint this “history” in its entirety below. After that, we reproduce the high points of his disclaimer, which was published in the Chicago Tribune on May 23, 1926. Since this disclaimer was printed on the front page of this major metropolitan newspaper, one wonders why his fictions are still found published as fact in many places. Here is Mencken’s hoax history: A Neglected Annivesary On December 20 there flitted past us, absolutely without public notice, one of the most important profane anniversaries in American history, to wit, the seventy-fifth anniversary of the introduction of the bathtub into These States. Not a plumber fired a salute or hung out a flag. Not a governor proclaimed a day of prayer. Not a newspaper called attention to the day. True enough, it was not entirely forgotten. Eight or nine months ago one of the younger surgeons connected with the Public Health Service in Washington happened upon the facts February 2011
H.L. Mencken, whose hoax history of bathing in America proved you can fool all of the people all of the time.
while looking into the early history of public hygiene, and at his suggestion a committee was formed to celebrate the anniversary with a banquet. But before the plan was perfected Washington went dry, and so the banquet had to be abandoned. As it was, the day passed wholly unmarked, even in the capital of the nation. Bathtubs are so common today that it is almost impossible to imagine a world without them. They are familiar to nearly everyone in all incorporated towns; in most of the large cities it is unlawful to build a dwelling house without putting them in; even on the farm they have begun to come into use. And yet the first American bathtub was installed and dedicated so recently as December 20, 1842, and, for all I know Legend & Lore Magazine
to the contrary, it may still be in existence and in use. Curiously enough, the scene of its setting up was Cincinnati, then a squalid frontier town, and even today surely no leader in culture. But Cincinnati, in those days as in these, contained many enterprising merchants, and one of them was a man
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2 DOUBLE ACTION 2 EARLY BIRD ($4.00 Value!) named Adam Thompson, a dealer in cotton and grain. Thompson shipped his grain by steamboat down the Ohio and Mississippi to New Orleans, and from there sent it to England in sailing vessels. This trade frequently took him to England, and in that country, during the '30s, he acquired the habit of bathing. The bathtub was then still a novelty in England. It had been introduced in 1828 by Lord John Russell and its use was yet confined to a small class of enthusiasts. Moreover, the English bathtub, then as now, was a puny and inconvenient contrivance--little more, in fact, than a glorified dishpan--and filling and emptying it required the attendance of a servant. Taking a bath, indeed, was a rather heavy ceremony, and Lord John in 1835 was said to be the only man in England who had yet come to doing it every day. Thompson, who was of inventive fancy (he later devised the machine 4
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new marvel to them and gave an exhibition of its use, and four of them, including a French visitor, Col. Duchanel, risked plunges into it. The next day all Cincinnati--then a town of about 100,000 people--had heard of it, and the local newspapers described it at length and opened their columns to violent discussions of it. The thing, in fact, became a public matter, and before long there was bitter and double-headed opposition to the new invention, which had been promptly imitated by several other wealthy Cincinnatians. On the one hand it was denounced as an epicurean and obnoxious toy from England, designed to corrupt the democratic simplicity of the Republic, and on the other hand it was attacked by the medical faculty as dangerous to health and a certain inviter of “phthisic,
rheumatic fevers, inflammation of the lungs and the whole category of zymotic diseases.“ (I quote from the Western Medical Repository of April 23, 1843.) The noise of the controversy soon reached other cities, and in more than one place medical opposition reached such strength that it was reflected in legislation. Late in 1843, for example, the Philadelphia Common Council considered an ordinance prohibiting bathing between November 1 and March 15, and it failed of passage by but two votes. During the same year the legislature of Virginia laid a tax of $30 a year on all bathtubs that might be set up, and in Hartford, Providence, Charleston and Wilmington (Del.) special and very heavy water rates were levied upon those who had them. Boston, very early in 1845, made
Presidential Bathtubs: Who Had the First? We know that Millard Fillmore was not the first president to enjoy a bathtub in the executive mansion, since H. L. Mencken concocted that little fiction. So who was it? For years, the primary washing-up place for presidents was the Potomac River. In season, of course. John Quincy Adams (1825-29), for example, is reported to have regularly plunged into the Potomac between daybreak and sunrise, "weather permitting." In those days before Secret Service body guarding, even the president of the United States was subject to pranks. During one of his dawn ablutions, someone made off with his clothes, and he had to wait in hiding until he could get a small boy to get replacements from the White House. But who was the first president to bathe inside with warm water? Some say James Madison (1809-17) had one installed shortly before the British torched the place on August 24, 1814. His wife Dolley saved the Declaration of Independence and George Washington's portrait in their escape, but no mention is made of whether she also desired to save the family tub. Madison's successor, James Monroe (1817-25), is said to have purchased a tin cylinder as a bathtub. An inventory of White House items made in 1825 mentions a "wash room," where, it is assumed, the cylinder had its home. The first hard documentary evidence of indoor bathing at the White House is found in accounts of Andrew Jackson's (1829-37) $45,000 remodeling of the structure in 1834. He may also have been the first to February 2011
introduce running water, since the account reads, "fresh spring water . . . the warm, cold and shower baths and have been repaired and greatly improved." This indicates that Old Hickory might not have been the very first president to enjoy indoor laving, the baths being "repaired and greatly improved" during his administration. This report does, however, put the lie to other reports that claim Abraham Lincoln (1861-65) or Rutherford B. Hayes (1877-81) or Chester A. Arthur (1881-85) was the first to have installed either plumbing or bathtubs in the White House. So who was first? It must have been one of Jackson's predecessors, but which one? Only James Madison, John Quincy Adams, or James Monroe would know for sure. And they're not talking.
When William Howard Taft (president from 1909-13), who weighed 330 pounds, squeezed into a regulation bathtub there was no room for water. So he had a special king-size bathtub made for him to use in the White House. After its manufacture, four men posed inside it for a photo.
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TAFT CAUSES HOTEL DELUGE Tidal Wave from His Bathtub Floods Bankers in Dining Room. Special to the New York Times Copyright The New York Times Cape May, N.J., June 18 [1915]. Ex-president Taft, who came here yesterday as the guest of the Pennsylvania Bankers’ Association, took a bath in his apartments in the Hotel Cape May. He failed properly to consider the size of the average seashore hotel bathtub, however, with the result that when he got into the tub the water overflowed and trickled down upon the heads of the guests in the dining room. The entire resort, including Mr. Taft, is laughing at the incident. Ex-President Taft was fagged out after attending the sessions of the Peace League in Philadelphia, and on arriving here immediately went to his room, which the hotel manager had chosen especially for him on account of the good-sized bathtub. The bankers, assembled in the dining room, waited patiently for Mr. Taft to appear, and they began to grow restive when a half hour had passed. Suddenly their attention was attracted to a little round, wet spot in the ceiling, which gradually grew larger until water finally came trickling down on their heads. The manager was called upon to stop the leak, and the hotel plumber, who led the investigation, went to Mr. Taft’s room. There it was found that the portly ex-President had stepped in the tub without realizing the consequence of the sudden rise in the water and had stepped out without noticing the resulting deluge on the floor. He was taking a nap when the plumber knocked at his door. As Mr. Taft boarded his train this morning he glanced at the ocean and said, “I’ll get a piece of that fenced in some day, and then when I venture in there won’t be any overflow.”
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bathing unlawful except upon medical advice, but the ordinance was never enforced and in 1862 it was repealed. This legislation, I suspect, had some class feeling in it, for the Thompson bathtub was plainly too expensive to be The battleship USS Maine was sent to Havana in January 1898 to protect American interests during the long-standing revolt of the Cubans against the Spanish government. The evening of February 15, 1898, her forward gunpowder magazines exploded, sending the ship to the bottom of the harbor. The explosion killed nearly three-fourths of the crew. This incident, with some help from William Randolph Hearst, touched off the Spanish-American War. Fourteen years later the Maine was raised to clear the harbor and to facilitate an investigation of the true cause of her sinking. The investigation yielded no firm results, but the ship's resurrection did yield a clamor from various Congressmen for souvenirs. Ohio's Frank B. Willis was the luckiest of the bunch. Or so he thought. He was awarded Captain Charles D. Sigsbee's enameled-steel bathtub. The one thing he didn't consider was that 14 years of submersion in salt water did away with the enamel and the tub had become a—well—a 6
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owned by any save the wealthy; indeed, the common price for installing one in New York in 1845 was $500. Thus the low caste politicians of the time made capital by fulminating against it, and there is even some suspicion of political bias in many of the early medical denunciations. But the invention of the common pine bathtub, lined with zinc, in 1847, cut off this line of attack, and thereafter the bathtub made steady progress. The zinc tub was devised by John F. Simpson, a Brooklyn plumber, and his efforts to protect it by a patent occupied the courts until 1855. But the decisions were steadily against him, and after 1848 all the plumbers of New York were equipped for putting in bathtubs. According to a writer in the Christian Register for July 17, 1857, the first one in New York was opened for traffic on September 12, 1847, and by the beginning of 1850 there were already nearly 1,000 in use in the big town.
After this medical opposition began to collapse, and among other eminent physicians Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes declared for the bathtub, and vigorously opposed the lingering movement against it in Boston. The American Medical Association held its annual meeting in Boston in 1849, and a poll of the members in attendance showed that nearly 55 per cent of them now regarded bathing as harmless, and that more than 20 per cent advocated it as beneficial. At its meeting in 1850 a resolution was formally passed giving the imprimatur of the faculty to the bathtub. The homeopaths followed with a like resolution in 1853. But it was the example of President Millard Fillmore that, even more than the grudging medical approval, gave --continued on page 11
The Bathtub Nobody Wanted a coal bin. Findlay had bought a tub-in-a-
The U.S.S. Maine’s bathtub is now in the Findlay, Ohio, Historical Museum
rust bucket. Willis's plan to give it to his hometown of Urbana, Ohio, was thwarted by that burg's womenfolk, who said they'd prefer a 10-inch shell for the park. They did offer, however, to use the tub as a horse trough. This didn't please Willis, and he stored the tub in the mayor's chicken coop. The next year, Willis palmed the relic off on the city of Findlay, Ohio. When the good folk of that metropolis saw what they'd gotten, they hustled it into an obscure corner of the municipal building, where it served as Legend & Lore Magazine
poke, but, caveat emptor notwithstanding, refused to reimburse the city of Urbana the cost of shipping the tub. The citizens of Lima heard about the tub's inglorious use and demanded the tub. Findlay promised to bronze the tub and put it in a park. Lima stopped its clamor and Findlay immediately stuck the tub—unbronzed—in a display case in an obscure hallway in the courthouse. From there, 15 years later, the tub went to a site along the wall of the courthouse rotunda. Another 30 years passed, and the tub was given to the Findlay College Museum. Not much more historically sensitive than either Urbana or Findlay, the college stuck the tub in an old cigar factory, where it languished in obscurity until 1974 when it was given to the Hancock [Ohio] Historical Museum. The museum proudly "displayed" the tub in its basement. Not all is lost, however. Wiser heads prevailed a few years later, and Captain Sigsbee's rusty old tub was given a real display area of its own in the museum. February 2011
To Bathe or Not to Bathe? What a Question! The Indus Valley city of Mohenjo-daro (in the province of Sindh in modern-day Pakistan) might very well boast the world's oldest large bath used, surmise the archeologists, for either or both communal bathing and spiritual purification on or about 2,600 B.C. Between then and 1,000 years later, a public inn near the palace of King Minos in Knossos on Crete sported an 18-inch deep foot bath 65 feet long by four feet six inches wide. Minos, himself, had terra cotta tubs, examples of which have been found. About the same time, Pharaoh Ramses III was providing separate bathrooms, each with its own bathtub, for his concubines. At Solomon's Temple there were reputed to be 2,000 ritual baths where people would wash their hands and feet before entering the sanctuary. Assyria's Sargon the Great (721-705 B.C.) is said to have had clay bathtubs, although none have been found. In the heyday of Greece, etiquette demanded a host offer the use of his bath to a visitor. Then along came the Roman Empire, which took bathing to new heights. Every military outpost had its baths, from Britain to North Africa. The wealthy had large heated bathrooms. Even the public baths were opulent. The Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca wrote contemptuously about them: "We think ourselves poor and mean if our walls are not resplendent with large and costly mirrors; if our marbles are not set off by mosaics of Numidian stone, if their borders are not faced over on all sides with difficult patterns, arranged in many colors like paintings; if our vaulted ceilings are not buried in glass; if our swimming pools are not lined with Thasian
marble, once a rare and wonderful sight in any temple; and finally, if the water has not poured from silver spigots." Only in the latter years of the Roman Empire were its bath houses notorious as dens of debauchery. Before that, the establishments were looked upon as social clubs, much like the cracker barrel of 19th century America or the Rotary of the 20th. Indeed, during most of their history, bathing times for men and women were distinctly and legislatively separate: women could use the baths only in the morning hours; men, only in the afternoon. But the later years were what early Christians remembered, along with their erstwhile place in Rome as lion munchies. As a backlash, Christians from the fall of the Empire and through the Middle Ages considered bathing an effete exercise. The purity and cleanliness of the soul,
The Great Bath at Mohenjo-daro, perhaps the earliest bathtub in the world. Courtesy Harappa Archaeological Research Project (HARP). Used by permission.
said they, was much more important than the purity and cleanliness of the body. One woman of the period claimed she had never bathed, because she didn't want to erase the effects of the holy water that had spritzed her face at baptism. One can understand one reason for the Middle Ages of Europe also being called the Dark Ages. Not until 1399, when Henry I established the Knights of the Order of the Bath, did bathing assume any kind of acceptance, at least in England. But it was a slow march. One hundred years later, Queen Isabella I of Spain said she had taken only two baths in her whole lifetime. Even so, she and Ferdinand V engendered five children. Two hundred years after Henry I, England's royalty was bathing more frequently. Queen Elizabeth I's court paper reported "the queen hath built herself a bath, where she doth bathe herself once a month, whether she require it or not." Some one hundred fifty years after that, at the time of the American Revolution, Catherine the Great of Russia (ruled 1762-1796) had just one small bathroom with a miniscule tin tub in her opulent 1,000-room Tsarskoye Selo palace outside St. Petersburg. It's a long distance from today, when in this country a residence without a bathroom would be spurned by any would-be buyer. Even my wife has a bathroom of her very own—shower and tub and all. I wonder what she'd say if she knew she had something in common with Ramses III's concubines.
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Evolution of the Shower Bath A French writer in the 1860s wrote about showers, "It is no rare thing to see a subject who at his first shower betrays actual terror, shouts, struggles, runs away, experiences frightening suffocation and palpation [sic]; and it is not rare to hear him say after a few moments, 'So that's all it is!'”
One wonders just who these easily terrified persons were, since the shower bath was not unknown before that era. But then, they always have done things differently in France. Indeed, in the United States 30 years before, a household handbook of medicine included instructions for constructing one's own shower bath. The book was Gunn's Domestic Medicine, published in 1832, and was carried by many a pioneer forging west of the Cumberland Gap. His instructions were as follows: "The shower-bath means the falling of water from a height of seven or eight feet in a shower similar to rain. The construction of this bath is very simple. Fix a box that will hold water, or a large tub will answer; bore the bottom full of holes made with a large gimblet [sic]—let the box or tub be placed above your head the distance above mentioned and let the water be thrown in, you being underneath." If you couldn't—or for privacy's sake didn't want—someone else to pour the water, Dr. Gunn suggested that you "Have a box made with a trap door underneath so that by pulling a string the trap door will fall a hinge and permit the water to fall on your body." The good doctor goes on to say that the shower bath is more convenient and less dangerous than bathing in creek or pond. One supposes he was thinking of such dangers as slippery mud or rocks; maybe, too, of water moccasins and gators. Long before this, showers were actually common in the Western world. In the 7th century B.C., the Greeks had both hot and cold shower baths in their gymnasia. Somewhere around 1810, fancy showers were available in England. Twelve feet tall, they were constructed of metal painted to look like bamboo. The water was pumped from a reservoir at the base of the shower, up to the shower head, and then around again. One supposes the water was changed after each shower. 10
KNITTING FISHING KNITWEAR CARVE CLIMBING MODELS SINGING CROCHET PAINTING COLLECTING DANCING SWIMMING AIRPLANE RIDING About 60 years before the account of scaredy-cat Frenchmen, in 1799, Elizabeth Drinker of Philadelphia, put up in her backyard a shower for "therapeutic" use. The shower was probably similar in design to that recommended by Dr. Gunn. In her diary Dame Drinker wrote, "I bore it better than I expected, not having been wett all over at once, for 28 years past." Not much later, showers became more common in the United States. An interesting model was known as the American Virginia Stool shower, introduced in the 1830s. The dirty person sat on a stool built into this contraption and pushed and pulled on a lever to get the water up to the shower head. An innovation that any single person (and many a married person) would desire was an integral scrub brush for one's back. The scrub brush was controlled by a foot pedal: push down on the pedal, the scrub brush went up the same pole that supported the shower head; let up on the pedal, the scrub brush went down. The 1850s heralded showers that let the bather mix hot and cold water to his or her personal comfort. Today's "tower shower" was predated by nearly a century. One such design was offered by the J. L. Mott Iron Works in Legend & Lore Magazine
BAKING CERAMICS RAILROAD HUNTING WOODWORORK BOAT 1889. Looking something like a skeletal Iron Maiden, this shower was truly a one-size fits all kind of apparatus, including "needle, shower, descending douche, liver spray and bidet." By the late 1870s in the United States, we find tub-shower combinations with some bathtubs featured tall wooden enclosures at one end, at the top of which were tanks that held water for showers. After the turn of the 20th century, Kohler featured several integrated tub-showers. A 1908 catalog from that company offers the "Superior" bathtub featuring a hand-held shower arrangement, an "N.P. Brass Portable Perforated Shower with Rubber Tubing, Brass Curtain Ring and Rubber Curtain." In 1914, Kohler incorporated into the "Sovereign" bathtub a "two-way shower," with a fixed shower head above and a hand-held sprayer attached to the exposed piping below. Today's showers are much more sleek and pretty, of course, coming in different colors and all. The principles are the same, however; after all, the more things change, the more they stay the same. For example, although most citizens of France probably won't shout, struggle, and run away when subjected to a shower, a sure bet is that your cat will. February 2011
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the bathtub recognition and respectability in the United States. While he was still Vice-President, in March, 1850, he visited Cincinnati on a stumping tour, and inspected the original Thompson tub. Thompson himself was now dead, but his bathroom was preserved by the gentlemen who had bought his house from the estate. Fillmore was entertained in this house and, according to Chamberlain, his biographer, took a bath in the tub. Experiencing no ill effects, he became an ardent advocate of the new invention, and on succeeding to the Presidency at Taylor's death, July 9, 1850, he instructed his secretary of war, Gen. Charles M. Conrad, to invite tenders for the construction of a bathtub in the
The oldest preserved Valentine is on display at the British Museum. It wasn't a card, but a letter dated Feb. 14, 1477, from Margery Brews to her fiance John Paston III
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White House. This action, for a moment, revived the old controversy, and its opponents made much of the fact that there was no bathtub at Mount Vernon, or at Monticello, and that all the Presidents and other magnificoes of the past had got along without any such monarchical luxuries. The elder Bennett, in the New York Herald, charged that Fillmore really aspired to buy and install in the White House a porphyry and alabaster bath that had been used by Louis Philippe at Versailles. But Conrad, disregarding all this clamor, duly called for bids, and the contract was presently awarded to Harper & Gillespie, a firm of Philadelphia engineers, who proposed to furnish a tub of thin cast iron, capable of floating the largest man. This was installed early in 1851, and remained in service in the White House until the first Cleveland administration, when the present enameled tub was substituted. The example of the President soon broke down all that remained of the old opposition, and by 1860, according to the newspaper advertisements of the time, every hotel in New York had a bathtub, and some had two and even three. In 1862 bathing was introduced into the Army by Gen. McClellan, and in 1870 the first prison bathtub was set up at 12
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Moyamensing Prison, in Philadelphia. So much for the history of the bathtub in America. One is astonished, on looking into it, to find that so little of it has been recorded. The literature, in fact, is almost nil. But perhaps this brief sketch will encourage other inquirers and so lay the foundation for an adequate celebration of the centennial in 1942. Mencken's Disclaimer Published May 23, 1926, on the front page of the Chicago Tribune On Dec. 28, 1917, I printed in the New York Evening Mail, a paper now extinct, an article purporting to give the history of the bathtub. This article, I may say at once, was a tissue of absurdities, all of them deliberate and most of them obvious… This article, as I say, was planned as a piece of spoofing to relieve the strain of war days, and I confess that I regarded it, when it came out, with considerable satisfaction. It was reprinted by various great organs of the enlightenment, and after a while the usual letters began to reach me from readers. Then, suddenly, my satisfaction turned to consternation. For these readers, it appeared, all took my idle jocosities with complete seriousness. Some of them, of Legend & Lore Magazine
antiquarian tastes, asked for further light on this or that phase of the subject. Others actually offered me corroboration! But the worst was to come. Pretty soon I began to encounter my preposterous “facts” in the writings of other men. They began to be used by chiropractors and other such quacks as evidence of the stupidity of medical men. They began to be cited by medical men as proof of the progress of public hygiene. They got into learned journals. They were alluded to on the floor of congress. They crossed the ocean, and were discussed solemnly in England and on the continent. Finally, I began to find them in standard works of reference. Today, I believe, they are accepted as gospel everywhere on earth. To question them becomes as hazardous as to question the Norman invasion… I recite this history, not because it is singular, but because it is typical. It is out of just such frauds, I believe, that most of the so-called knowledge of humanity flows. What begins as a guess or, perhaps, not infrequently, as a downright and deliberate lie ends as a fact and is embalmed in the history books. One recalls the gaudy days of 1914-1918. How much that was then devoured by the newspaper readers of the world was actually true? Probably February 2011
not 1 per cent. Ever since the war ended learned and laborious men have been at work examining and exposing its fictions. But every one of these fictions retains full faith and credit today. To question even the most palpably absurd of them, in most parts of the United States, is to invite denunciation as a bolshevik [sic]… The moral, if any, I leave to psychopathologists, if competent ones can be found. All I care to do today is to reiterate, in the most solemn and awful terms, that my history of the bathtub, printed on Dec. 28, 1917, was pure buncombe. If there were any facts in it they got there accidentally and against my design. But today the tale is in the encyclopedias. History, said a great American soothsayer, is bunk.
CRYPTOPINION© _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Q F S F I Q R U I L C N I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ O U Q U S L H I R L I O F _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Q F S F I Q G J F B M L C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ M L C B O U O L L I N Q L _ --E.
by Sylvia Platt
_ P _ B _ N
_ _ _ _ _ E U G L H _ _ _ _ Y F M L _ _ _ _ _ I P X N H _ _ _ _ A U C B. _ _’ _ _ _ _ _ _ D. U’ H U K H M L
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When the Party's Over: What Do You Do with an Old Bathtub? It's old, scratched, discolored, perhaps cracked and leaking. Or maybe it just doesn't fit into milady's new decor ideas. Out the door with you, old tub! But whither? To the landfill, which costs the homeowner money for transport and planting? Or is there for tubs, as it is said to be for humans, life after life? In the upper Midwest, particularly in heavily Roman Catholic areas settled by Mittel Europeans, old bathtubs often live on as religious shrines. A bathtub is sawn in half crosswise and sunk into the ground to form a shelter for statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus. The idea, according to a spokesperson for the La Crosse, Wisconsin, diocese, is that these half-tubs are grotto-like, reminiscent of natural shrines in Europe. This is especially true if, as often is the case, the edges of the tubs are fronted by natural slate, shale, or other rock. Ingolf Vogeler, cultural geography professor at the University of Wisconsin—Eau Claire, says most Roman Catholic "tub" shrines are not really tubs at all. "I don't know where they get them," he says. "They look like tubs, but they're much smaller." He concedes, however, that someone at sometime must have upended an old cast-iron tub and created the first such shrine after which these latter-day models are fashioned. "Somebody must have actually sunk a tub in the ground," he says. "But think of the weight of them! Think of the work of cutting them in half! Think of the hole if they
didn't!" As a general rule, however, he muses, "You don't see a lot of bathtubs in the front yard. These are clearly eccentric people. America is a conformist society, for all its individualism." In honor of another deity—Bacchus—some people save their retired bathtubs in the garage or in some other out-of-the-way place. When it's time for a bacchanal, they fill the tub with drinkables and ice. Indeed, A Garden of Distinction, which specializes in out-of-theordinary items for exterior and interior decoration, sells antique French metal tubs as champagne coolers. Bathtubs—even the huge old cast-iron types—as planters are also not unknown. The aforesaid decorator store suggests this use for
their French foot tubs. And as a fish pond, there can be no better solution. It's already yours, so you don't have to spend a couple hundred dollars at a garden store for one the same size; it's deep enough to prevent complete freezing in the winter; it will bear the weight of rock; and it has a drain hole. Of course, if you own livestock, the tub can always be used as a watering trough or a hog scalder or a sheep dipper. The moral: When you find the need to replace a bathtub, consider the landfill as only the last resort. Be less conformist. Be a little more eccentric. With a little ingenuity, that old bathtub can live on with a new purpose. And you can be the talk of the neighborhood.