Story of Reset

Judge Reeder’s legal career began as a commercial litigator at both a large firm and a specialized litigation boutique, then as an assistant district attorney in Harris County, and currently as the presiding judge of the 234th District Court.

Seeing how many women with young children tried to keep their personal and professional lives separate, Judge Reeder sought to do the opposite. She brings her young children to the courthouse and encourages others to do the same in an effort to normalize the shifting meaning of—and the relationship between—work life and family life. In doing so, Judge Reeder has wanted to be very open about her struggles to manage both.

More recently, a new opportunity to lead by example presented itself. In November, Judge Reeder was coming off of a successful reelection campaign, her husband had opened a litigation boutique with three other attorneys, and she and her husband had recently welcomed the birth of their second child. And, like all of us, she was coming out of the COVID pandemic.

In the midst of it all, Judge Reeder knew something was “off.” More specifically, she felt it was becoming increasingly essential to carve out time and space for herself. She realized that when you have depleted your tank, you are not a bad spouse, parent, colleague, or friend for wanting (and needing) to take time for selfcare. In fact, taking the opportunity to focus on yourself and, in doing so, becoming more present and giving more grace to yourself and others, is how you can improve in each of those roles.

Likewise, Judge Reeder knew a break was not a sign of laziness, selfishness, or weakness —which can so often be the feelings that people struggle with when needing a break while also not knowing how to ask for one. Instead, prioritizing self-care was a continuation of the changes that Judge Reeder had sought to exemplify when she took the bench.

So, Judge Reeder spent five days, by herself, at a retreat in Arizona, where she left her devices behind and “curated a time of reading, writing, hiking, equine experiences, meditation, creating, and mostly just practicing listening” to her intuition instead of checking off to-dos. She has also made changes since returning home—she deleted social media from her phone and has become mindful of maintaining a healthy distance from electronic devices. Judge Reeder readily acknowledged this opportunity came from a place of privilege. Still, her hope is that everyone can find ways to carve out space to find their own stillness, mindfulness, and self-care.

Like before, Judge Reeder is leading by example. Shortly before leaving for Arizona, Judge Reeder posted about her upcoming trip on Facebook. That post received more likes than anything she had previously posted. The takeaways seem clear: first, friends and family will offer their unconditional support when loved ones seek self-care; and second, people are eager to express their appreciation for those who are open and visible about seeking self-care because a great first step toward taking better care of ourselves is the realization that we are not alone in needing to do so.

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By anietie akpan