LEO Weekly 4/1/2020

MAS SIE! GRO WU P,

FREE APR.01.2020

LIQUOR AND GUNS ARE ‘LIFE-SUSTAINING’ (PAGE 9) • BECOME A CORONA COP! (PAGE 10) RELEASE AN ALBUM NOW? (PAGE 20) • CHEFS GET CORONA-CREATIVE! (PAGE 22)

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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WE’VE MOVED!

click on LEOWEEKLY.COM READ MORE AT LEOWEEKLY.COM/WEB

John Paul Wright plays the guitar with Craig McClurking on the harmonica, singing tunes encouraging the livestream viewers to make donations for The MAMMOTH’s revival.

SAVE THE MAMMOTH!

In a bid to save The MAMMOTH, a Civil War-era warehouse, owner Aron Conaway and friends hosted a five-hour variety show fundraising livestream event that was broadcast from various undisclosed locations around Louisville. Go to leoweekly.com to see behind-the-scenes photos.

The once-vibrant space for artists, musicians and other creatives must be brought back up to code so it may re-open. Featured in the livestream were musical performances, poetry readings, performance art, skits and more. That night, $2,300 was raised, but you can donate at: https://www. gofundme.com/f/reawakening-the-mammoth.

FREE APR.01.2020

MAGSROW UP, SIE!

ON THE COVER

DESIGN BY TALON HAMPTON

LIQUOR AND GUNS ARE ‘LIFE-SUSTAINING’ (PAGE 9) • BECOME A CORONA COP! (PAGE 10) RELEASE AN ALBUM NOW? (PAGE 20) • CHEFS GET CORONA-CREATIVE! (PAGE 22)

LOUISVILLE ECCENTRIC OBSERVER

Volume 30 | Number 20 735 E. MAIN ST., LOUISVILLE, KY 40202 PHONE (502) 895-9770 FAX (502) 895-9779 FOUNDER

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(502) 895-9770 LEO Weekly is published weekly by LEO Weekly LLC. Copyright LEO Weekly LLC. All rights reserved. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the Publisher. LEO Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express permission of LEO Weekly LLC. LEO Weekly may be distributed only by authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO) is a trademark of LEO Weekly LLC.

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LEO Weekly welcomes letters, emails and tweets of no more than 350 words. Ad hominem attacks will be ignored. We may edit for length, grammar and clarity.

Custom LASIK by Joffe MediCenter

ON: THESE PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE OVERREACTING TO THE CORONAVIRUS

I’d like to see them tell that directly to the face of any family member or friend of the 28,793 people who have died. Unbelievable.

—Lucas Bentley @lucasbentley512 ... I wonder if they will be so tough when they are grabbing at their vent tube? Well, if they are lucky enough to get a ventilator.

—Brooke Montgomery I have a co-worker who is like this. She pokes fun at me and thinks I’m freaking out when I’m actually taking precautions.

—Natalie Jones Dead pandemic deniers tell no tales... and they don’t vote. Nor do their like-minded associates they infected, also dead.

—Larry Rother I’ll say clear to these deniers: If you get near me and don’t take precautions, like social distancing, I will require you to walk away.

Refuse, and I will walk away from you. Follow me, and face the consequences. Touch me, and face your maker. ‘Nuff said.

—Cynthia Mullaly

ON: EDITOR’S NOTE — GOV. BESHEAR GETS IT, BUT STATE REPUBLICANS LAWMAKERS DO NOT

... If you want to keep doing what you are doing, it would be a good idea to really start thinking long and hard about just how vital this labor lockout is, and just how high the costs on the other side of the ledger--the ledger where people are jumping off bridges, relapsing into alcoholism, beating their spouses, abusing their kids, and generally taking crap care of their health--need to be before you start rethinking your reflexive virtue signaling. We get that Democrats want all of us to know they are obedient and faithful to government. The message has been received. ...

—Barry Cooper

ON: JOHN YARMUTH, CHICKEN HAWK HAS COME HOME TO ROOST

Nice article, but this crisis makes it even more obvious that we need single payer/M4A. The Democratic Party needs to stop taking corporate bribes, because that’s why we don’t have it.

—John Hubbard Thank you for your service to our state and our country!

—Betty Jackson

ON: J.P. LEBANGOOD, AN OPEN LETTER FROM THOSE OF US IN BETWEEN Fantastic article! —Laura Knowles

ON: INDUSTRY STANDARD, UNEMPLOYMENT FOR RESTAURANT WORKERS? Union. —Kevin Ridgeway

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VIEWS

EDITOR’S NOTE

WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY $1,200?

USE IT TO BEAT MASSIE

By Aaron Yarmuth | ayarmuth@leoweekly.com SELFISH, not principled — that is U.S. Rep. Thomas Massie.

This Republican who represents Kentucky’s 4th District is not my congressman, thankfully. He does not answer to me as a voter. But, last week, he was playing political games with my dad’s life.

I cannot vote against Massie, but I had another idea for holding him accountable for his recklessness.

It was inevitable that Congress was going to pass the CARES Act, despite Massie’s objection. As a result, I, along with every other American will receive a $1,200 check.

Perhaps the best use of that money would be to donate it all to his opponent in the upcoming election.

What did Massie do that was so unforgivable?

Congress was in the middle of passing the largest emergency relief funding package in history — $2.2 trillion. The health and economic support of the federal government is so dire, the U.S. Senate passed the

UNDERCOVER

MANOFMETTLE.COM

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

CARES Act unanimously, 96-0.

Next, the bill had to pass the House, before going to the president to be signed into law.

To be clear, this bill was always going to pass and become law. Nothing Massie could do could stop it or even change it. He could only delay it, which he attempted to do — failing to receive even a single other member’s second to his procedural motion.

What he was doing was not principled, it was selfish.

What made this situation unique was that, unlike the Senate, there is no filibuster in the House — one member can’t usually stop a bill from passing. However, when the CARES Act came to the House from the Senate, most of Congress wasn’t in D.C. After passing the first COVID-19 relief bill two weeks ago, the House adjourned, and most members returned home where they, along with most Americans have been social distancing.

But Massie was in D.C. And he was

taking advantage of most members’ absence to invoke a procedural rule, which could have derailed the bill if not enough members were present to overrule his procedural challenge.

Essentially, he took advantage of the crisis to make a political point. And, just the mere threat of his attempt to sabotage the bill forced several of his colleagues to travel back to the Capitol, which health experts advise increases their chance of exposure to the deadly disease — and increases the likelihood of community-spread whenever they return home.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has tested positive for the coronavirus, as has Prince Charles, heir to the British throne. Nobody is safe from the disease.

Like so many Americans, I’m worried about my family. Massie wanted my dad to travel to D.C. and risk catching a virus that could kill him, so he could make his political point.

I recognize Massie has a different worldview than most and that he believes he is an ideologically pure libertarian (despite voting for the Trump-McConnell tax cuts that added $1 trillion to the deficit). But he was exploiting a unique moment in Congress, amid a health and economic crisis the likes of which this country has never experienced, for political grandstanding.

It’s not principled. It’s selfish.

Even President Trump, who once courted Massie among other libertarian-Republicans to support his deficit-exploding tax cuts, tweeted: “Looks like a third rate Grandstander named @RepThomasMassie, a Congressman from, unfortunately, a truly GREAT State, Kentucky, wants to vote against the new Save Our Workers Bill in Congress. He just wants the publicity.

He can’t stop it, only delay, which is both dangerous……”

I hate that I agree with Trump, but he’s right.

So, now that the CARES Act has passed and been signed into law — an inevitable outcome regardless of any hurdles Massie threw at the process — I will receive a $1,200 check from the federal government.

I don’t make many political contributions — when billionaires can write $1,000,000 checks and won’t feel it any more than I would feel $100, it doesn’t seem like a good use of even $100. Bu I might have to make an exception in this case.

Because what beautiful poetic justice it would if every dollar of the check that comes from the bill Massie tried to obstruct went to defeating him in the next election…

So he can never play political games with so many lives again. •

VIEWS

THE UNFUCKING OF THE MIDWEST

GROWING UP IN ISOLATION: ‘SHE WILL EVENTUALLY LEARN HOW OUR EXPECTATIONS WERE SUDDENLY TURNED UPSIDE DOWN’

By Dan Canon | leo@leoweekly.com IN 2019, Artemis, an Aquarius, was born in ness for fluorescent brightness, the toil of our hands and backs traded for the toil a bright, sterile box on the ground. Now she of our eyes and arteries. That despite our exists in the air. great height, we still diligently avoided the She does not yet know what schools daylight, subsisting on a diet of Vitamin teach about our prehistoric ancestors; the D pills and non-moving foods wrapped in ones who first jabbered in discernible plastic. That we knew no one at all, not even languages and used complex tools. In fact, our closest companions, but at least we no it is possible that she will never sit in a longer fell prey to larger creatures. classroom and learn that they traveled in This, she will learn, was thought to be small groups, consisting of no more than the natural progression of things. That it was a few trusted companions. Or, that they normal, for a time, to spent three or four As such, she harness a forest’s worth hours a day scroungof resources per family ing together enough to will learn from a every year, or to drink live and then the rest of the day telling stories, machine built by only one beverage from a container that never singing songs, inventother machines dissolves, dissipates, or ing things and fussing or to comat the little ones. She that we abated the disappears, bust an engine that runs may never hear from a schoolteacher about the total disintegration on dead animals we pulled from the ground foragers who existed on of our species by to go less than a mile the ground, chasing prey and buy box after and running from larger learning to exist in away box of items we don’t predators. need. That we believed This is so because the air. the ground was ours, she may never go to that the ground was school at all, at least not forever, that the ground in the way we think of was something that gave and gave and never it now. That’s an irksome idea to her father, expected anything back. but it is unlikely that she will ever give it a She will eventually learn how our expecsecond thought. tations were suddenly turned upside-down.

She will in time, I suspect, learn (from She’ll learn that the old way of thinking, like somewhere) that our more recent ancestors all old ways of thinking, did not surrender abandoned life on the ground so that they quietly. That it took a violent turn of events, could burrow underneath it. That we disappeared underground every day, during all the one that scared everyone into sanitized daylight hours. That we left our small groups bubbles, surrounded only by a few trusted companions, to of trusted companions to pull rocks out of recognize the frathe earth with people we did not know, so gility of what as to sell those rocks to more people we never laid eyes on, so that the rocks could be we build and the burned away to nothing.

And that we crammed ourselves into dim boxes, away from the sun and the rain and the wind, breathing in the belches of chemicals emitted by the machines we were shackled to, with people we never met, to make things that were pitched in the ocean by others of our kind who we would never meet, to satisfy some end that we can’t really define.

She will learn that we traded those boxes for bigger boxes, climbing ever higher in the sky, exchanging dark-

inevitability of its collapse. That we discovered we would be chased by predators no matter what, if not on the ground, then in the air; if not massive and fearsome, then silent and invisible.

As such, she will learn from a machine built by other machines that we abated the total disintegration of our species by learning to exist in the air. To raise our children on the wind, as infants in bubbles, not being able to reach outside their latex shells but able to traverse the globe in an instant.

To sit at keyboards and peer into flickering rectangles that show us the future, the past, the entirety of everything our ancestors ever learned or invented or fell prey to.

To transmit our faces, our voices, our tears and laughter and sweat and shit and blood and whole bodies, through electrical pulses, in clouds, in particles and waves, to look each other in the eyes from half a world away. To cheat the boundaries of language, country and mortality by being both infinitesimally local and infinitely nonlocal all at once. This won’t be a big deal to her.

She may never know the joy of noisy Christmases. Of crowded dinner tables. Of state fairs or Mardi Gras or soccer stadiums or Disney World. Of warm skin-on-skin contact. Of the exchange of wet things that our bodies secrete. All these may be relics of the past by the time she gets around to learning about them.

She may only know a life of three or four hours a day spent

scrounging together enough to live and the rest telling stories, singing songs, inventing things and fussing at the little ones. She, like our first upright ancestors, may believe that there is no other way to live. She may be right.

Artemis, an Aquarius, sealed tight in a sterile bubble, travels just under the speed of light, staring for just a few seconds at a time into the canals of Venice, so clear that she can see the bottom, or the untarnished sand at the base of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the hazelnut gaze of a self-portrait of Frida Kahlo, her view unobstructed and uncluttered. As her parents gasp and clutch their chests and stagger and die, she will live forever, her pixelated likeness darting freely from continent to content, in a full spectrum of brilliant, ultraviolet luminescence. She was born on the ground but exists in the air.

• Dan Canon is a civil rights lawyer and law professor. “Midwesticism”is his shortdocumentary series about Midwesterners who are making the world a better place.

Watch it at: patreon.com/dancanon.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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DURING COVID-19, STATE MUST ADDRESS NEEDS OF INCARCERATED PEOPLE

By Jessica Reese, Sonja de Vries and Shameka Parrish-Wright | leo@leoweekly.com AS THE NUMBER of COVID-19 cases in Kentucky continues to increase, all of us across the Commonwealth are rightly being asked to consider the needs of the most vulnerable people in our communities. Kentucky’s leaders must extend that same consideration to a uniquely vulnerable group: incarcerated people.

In correctional facilities, access to basics such as soap and hand sanitizer is limited.

Further, the advice those of us on the outside are receiving about social distancing is impossible to follow, because facilities statewide are chronically overcrowded. Just like schools or libraries — which have closed to reduce the spread of COVID-19 — jails and prisons are incubators.

That’s why The Bail Project Louisville, Louisville Showing Up for Racial Justice (LSURJ) and other Kentucky organizations have called on officials to free incarcerated people, including people who sit in jail simply because they cannot pay bail. While some releases are happening, Kentucky continues to fall far short of what’s needed to protect inmates, corrections workers, and families. Reducing the population of jails and prisons is essential for preventing further infections — not only within their walls, but also in the wider community. This is both a public health emergency and a justice issue.

The majority of people in the downtown Louisville jail are incarcerated because of bail. They are awaiting trial and by legal standards, are presumed innocent. Imagine that you haven’t been convicted of a crime, yet you’re stuck in jail — separated from your family in this time of extreme concern about the health and safety of loved ones.

And this is all because you don’t have enough money on hand for bail. If you did, you would be able to purchase your freedom.

In regular circumstances, cash bail is an injustice, one that disproportionately impacts people of color, immigrants, and all who are low income. In the context of a pandemic, cash bail is an outrage. Both incarcerated people and corrections employees are at high risk for infection. COVID-19 cases have appeared at correctional facilities in Illinois, Georgia, California, New York,

and Texas, among others. The Indianapolis Star reported last week that a worker at the Marion County Jail tested positive for COVID-19, and during his March 29 press conference, Governor Beshear confirmed that two administrative staff at the Green River Correctional Complex in western Kentucky tested positive.

Elected officials, from Governor Beshear and Mayor Fischer to judges and prosecutors, must act boldly to save the lives of people in Kentucky’s jails and prisons.

Releasing those who are incarcerated just because they can’t pay bail is one step, as is being transparent about what actions are being taken to ensure health and safety inside correctional facilities.

As noted above, we have seen some progress. The overall population of county jails statewide has decreased by 28% in the past two weeks. In Jefferson County, an extra court docket has been added on Saturdays to process requests for bail reduction and probation, and district court judges are releasing more defendants at arraignment. Prosecutors, public defenders, private attorneys, and Metro Corrections officials have worked together to review cases and release people from the downtown jail. On March 26, the jail population was 1533, a 17% decrease from the end of January. This is good news.

However, LSURJ and The Bail Project continue to advocate for further action and more releases. We hear the clock ticking— and so do Kentucky’s leaders. The Chief Justice of the Kentucky Supreme Court, John D. Minton, Jr., issued a strong statement to his colleagues on March 20. “We know what a potential disaster this could be,” he wrote, “and it’s our responsibility to work with jailers and other county officials to safely release as many defendants as we can, as quickly as we can.” • Jessica Reese and Sonja de Vries are members of Louisville Showing Up for Racial Justice. Shameka Parrish-Wright is the Site Manager of The Bail Project Louisville.

NEWS & ANALYSIS

PROTESTING IN THE ERA OF CORONAVIRUS: ACTIVISTS GET CREATIVE

By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com

Planning a socialdistanced protest brings its own complications, but s it’s especially important as participants cannot easily communicate with everyone s once they’re on the ground protesting.

Jones, who is 28, said that technology is key but a hurdle in and of itself: some people with Save KY ar Democracy did not have much experience with messaging and meeting apps such as Zoom and Slack.

Other Louisville groups have been willing to take on the challenge of protest during the epidemic. Louisville Showing Up For Racial Justice and The Bail Project y Beck Jones and their sign for the protest at the Kentucky State Capitol. Louisville were two of the first.

On March 20, the two groups orgaTHE POSTER BOARD flapped from Protests are an important part of nized an action to demand the release holding people in power responsible, c- the black Jetta SportWagen’s windows of prisoners from the Louisville Metro say activists, but the challenges of es as the car circled the Kentucky State Department of Corrections who were social distancing can also make it Capitol building over and over again: over 60, medically fragile or being held harder for demonstrations to be impact“Protect Capitol Workers,” read one te because they couldn’t afford to pay ful, as fewer people show up and homemade sign. “Go Home,” said their bail. people in power are harder to confront another.

The protesters, a small number of directly. Some groups, such as IndivisThe vehicle, driven by Beck Jones, n invited activists, stood 10 feet apart ible Kentucky, a left-leaning organizawas one of around 15 honking and from one another in front of the Louis tion with a focus on Congress, have is circling the building last week where D. Brandeis Hall of Justice downtown, stepped back from traditional protestKentucky lawmakers debate and pass holding posters declaring “Jails Hurt ing during this time. hundreds of bills each year. This was Families” and “End Cash Bail.” One David Horvath, a spokesperson for how activists, unable to enter the d member had brought many of the Save KY Democracy said, “This is a — Capitol, protested the legislators who signs, which were wiped down with huge challenge. I certainly wouldn’t continued to pass controversial bills in hand sanitizer before being distributed. want to make it out to be something the midst of a pandemic.

There was no Facebook or Twitter Activists around Kentucky have had that’s a preferable way to do things, post advertising the event beforehand because we already have two hands to find new ways to show the will of in order to keep the group of protestors behind our back some when we do the collective in a time when tradismall, and the event was scheduled activism.” o tional protests can be deadly but are strategically for 8:30 a.m., when the Chanelle Helm of Black Lives still needed. s sidewalks would not be busy with Matter Louisville said that in-person Despite the unusual method, Jones e pedestrians who could potentially be protests are still important. “It really said that the caravan protest felt exposed to any contagions. can go on,” she said. But her organieffective.

“They would probably prefer that zation has been focused on needed “The energy of people coming we’re just sitting at home on our comvolunteer work, such as delivering together around a shared goal felt puters,” said Sonja DeVries, an LSURJ groceries and supplies to families in really present and powerful,” said member, “they” being people in power. need, as well as planning training to Jones, who is a member of Save KY teach others how to organize during the “But we need to be creative, we need Democracy, which organized the to find ways of collectively resisting.” pandemic. protest.

THORNS & ROSES

THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD

THORN: REPEAT: ONLY HITLER IS HITLER

Not enough vitriol and shaming can heaped upon U.S. Rep. Thomas “Short-circuited” Massie for holding up virus relief aid and forcing U.S. House members to expose themselves to illness by returning to D.C. But, then Democratic challenger Alexandra Owensby compared him to Hitler, basically saying the architect of the Holocaust also was a man of action like Massie. Is that the sound of a needle scratching across a record?

ROSE: NO CASH BAIL GETS CORONA BOOST Some sanity has prevailed in the justice system. In Jefferson County, 177 people awaiting trial have been released by court order and agreement from prosecutors and public defenders, The Courier Journal reported.

Essentially, the virus has done what advocates for no cash bail have pushed for. A glint of a silver lining.

THORN: BECAUSE DISHWASHERS AND OVENS ARE ‘ESSENTIAL’ GE Appliances stopped production at Appliance Park last week but has brought back workers over union protest. GE, owned by a Chinese company Haier, said it has installed plastic curtains at workstations, is encouraging social distancing and requiring workers to wear personal protective equipment. Now, the union chief is under quarantine, awaiting test results. Meanwhile, Haier stepped up its PR with a full-page ad in The CJ celebrating first responders and healthcare workers.

ROSE: HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS! The On Fire Christian Church in Louisville held drive-in services. Read this eloquent description by CJ photographer Alton Strupp: “Welcomed by a chorus of car horns, the church band played from a stage at the beginning of service. Patrons sat on top of their cars and hung their hands out of their windows and sunroofs.”

ABSURD: IT’S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE ...JUST KILL US! 106.9 Play radio added Christmas music to its playlist “to inspire hope throughout our community as we all deal with COVID-19.”

ABSURD: LIZ WOULD HAVE HAD A PLAN! CJ headline of the week: “Global health crisis wasn’t in Beshear’s policy plans.’

Continued on page 11 LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

SEN. RAND PAUL ON WHY HE RISKED EXPOSING PEOPLE, OR… SELFISH IS AS SELFISH DOES

By Keith Stone | kstone@leoweekly.com WE MAKE FUN of U.S. Sen. Rand Paul a lot. OK, more than a lot. Going waayy back.

But who deserves it more?

Befitting his status as Kentucky’s junior senator, only our senior senator Mitch McConnell suffers more scorn and badnatured roasting from us at LEO. Now, in The Time of Corona, Paul, a doctor and obstructionist of virus relief bills, gets a special poke with a hot stick for reportedly getting tested and going to the gym and consorting with colleagues before he got back the result.

And guess what?

He tested positive.

Paul released a statement this week defending his decision to not self-quarantine, saying he shouldn’t have been tested at all. Whaat? Read this convoluted reasoning and let us know what kind of byzantine map of logic we would need to understand it.

Paul should have known better than to risk the health of other people. But… we must understand that Rand Paul, who might as well have been named after the purposely selfish, libertarian, wack-job Ayn Rand, would be thinking about himself only.

Here is what he had to say:

“Given that my wife and I had traveled extensively during the weeks prior to COVID-19 social distancing practices, and that I am at a higher risk for serious complications from the virus due to having part of my lung removed seven months ago, I took a COVID-19 test when I arrived in D.C. last Monday. I felt that it was highly unlikely that I was positive since I have had no symptoms of the illness, nor have I had contact with anyone who has either tested positive for the virus or been sick.

“Since nearly every member of the U.S. Senate travels by plane across the country multiple times per week and attends lots of large gatherings, I believed my risk factor for exposure to the virus to be similar to that of my colleagues, especially since multiple congressional staffers on the Hill had already tested positive weeks ago.

“As for my attendance at the Speed Art Museum fundraiser on March 7, unlike the other Kentucky government officials there, I had zero contact or proximity with either of the two individuals who later announced they were positive for COVID-19. The event was a large affair of hundreds of people spread throughout the museum.

“There was an announcement by the Museum and Metro Louisville Communicable Disease department that ‘those who public health officials consider at higher risk from possible exposure are being notified.’

Louisville’s health director put out a statement in The Courier Journal that ‘most of the people at the Speed Ball were at ‘very minimal risk.’’ I was not considered to be at risk since I never interacted with the two individuals even from a distance and was not recommended for testing by health officials.

“I believe we need more testing immediately, even among those without symptoms.

The nature of COVID-19 put me – and us all – in a Catch-22 situation. I didn’t fit the criteria for testing or quarantine. I had no symptoms and no specific encounter with a COVID-19 positive person. I had, however, traveled extensively in the U.S. and was required to continue doing so to vote in the Senate. That, together with the fact that I have a compromised lung, led me to seek testing. Despite my positive test result, I remain asymptomatic for COVID-19.

“For those who want to criticize me for lack of quarantine, realize that if the rules on testing had been followed to a tee, I would

never have been tested and would still be walking around the halls of the Capitol. The current guidelines would not have called for me to get tested nor quarantined. It was my extra precaution, out of concern for my damaged lung, that led me to get tested.

“Perhaps it is too much to ask that we simply have compassion for our fellow Americans who are sick or fearful of becoming so. Thousands of people want testing.

Many, like Daniel Newman of The Walking Dead, are sick with flu symptoms and are being denied testing. This makes no sense.

“The broader the testing and the less finger-pointing we have, the better. America is strong. We are a resilient people, but we’re stronger when we stand together.”

Here is what one person tweeted in response to his statement: “You did not ‘need’ to go to the gym.

Americans all over this country cannot go to theirs, or do much of anything else. You felt you could do as you pleased and risked others. I hope you recover well, but you are not excused from being entirely selfish and overly privileged.”

And, our favorite: “Atlas Coughed.” •

sick, and they could instigate stricter measures from the government. Don’t play ball, don’t hang out in large groups, don’t sit in circles and badly play guitars. Go for a run,

take a walk with a friend, but be smart. We all want the parks to stay open. But, more importantly, we should want to keep people safe. •

STOP BEING STUPID IN THE METRO PARKS

By Scott Recker | srecker@leoweekly.com BASKETBALL RIMS were taken down and soccer goals were locked up last week at the Metro Parks. That’s because, despite the mayor’s earlier order to shut down playgrounds and courts at the Metro Parks, selfish morons kept playing close-contact games.

“I’m upset about this because people are putting the lives of others in danger,” the Mayor said, according to a press release.

“When you play basketball, tennis, soccer — anything where you’re standing within six feet of anyone – you are risking the lives and the health of friends, relatives, and fellow Louisvillians, as well as your own. It’s selfish. It’s shortsighted. And it’s unacceptable.”

I saw pickup basketball at Cherokee

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a few days after the initial measures, but before rims were taken down. And Metro Councilman Bill Hollander tweeted a picture of what looked to be a five-on-five game at Seneca Park the day before the removals.

I’ve made it a priority to try to get to the park every day during this horror movie of a spring. The Metro Parks are some of the last connections we have to normalcy right now, and, honestly, it’s just nice to leave my phone at my apartment and distance myself from social media. In the parks, most people have been cognizant and diligent and safe, but there are a select few who are still playing sports, still gathering in packs, still not giving a shit.

Don’t be those people.

Those actions could get more people

NEWS & ANALYSIS

GOV. ANDY: LIQUOR IS ‘LIFE SUSTAINING’ IN KENTUCKY, BUT SO ARE GUNS!

By Keith Stone | kstone@leoweekly.com THERE YOU HAVE IT: Beer and wine and liquor are “life-sustaining,” Gov. Andy says.

During last Wednesday’s 5 p.m. Show and Tell with Gov. Andy, he was explaining his latest executive order to close “non-lifesustaining” businesses, when he looked up from his papers and with what sounded like a sigh, a shrug and a hand wave he said: “We have a number of questions about why are liquor stores still open. All food and beverage is still open. All of it. We are not going to close down any type of food and beverage facility during this. We are not going to increase people’s anxiety while we are facing this type of outbreak.”

“Anxiety.”

Ain’t that right?

What would happen if we couldn’t get our booze while holed up inside and away from people? It would be almost as bad as if the internet went down. (Shudder.)

Gov. Andy’s sigh and shrug may have reflected Kentucky’s uneasy, odd relationship with liquor, stemming all the way back to even before Prohibition.

In November 1919, Kentuckians passed a state constitutional amendment banning alcohol two months before Prohibition.

When the 21st Amendment repealed the 18th Amendment, Kentucky was among

the states to let local governments decide through elections whether to allow alcohol sales. To this date, there are 11 entirely dry counties out of 120 and more than 50 dry counties with wet or “moist” precincts.

It wasn’t until 2013 that you could buy a drink on Election Day, thanks to a bill that Andy’s dad, Gov. Steve Beshear signed into law. The Distilled Spirits Council called Kentucky’s Election Day ban “America’s strictest.”

You couldn’t buy a drink at a restaurant on Sunday in Louisville before 1 p.m. until 2013 when the city changed it to 10 a.m. (Just before Derby and Mother’s Day because brunch lobby — strong!)

Chris Zaborowski, owner of Westport Whiskey and Wine in Westport Village, told The Courier Journal that liquor stores are allowed to remain open because pharmacies also have been allowed to sell booze under Prohibition-era law. Convenience stores and other mixed-retail stores can sell alcohol.

So, it is a matter of fairness allowing liquor stores to compete.

(The story also explains that for alcoholics, a rapid, forced sobriety could result in dangerous, if not deadly withdrawal.

Gov. Andy made no mention of this in his remarks or in the order.)

Now, Kentucky sells itself to the rest of the world as being bonkers for bourbon and even craft beer. Shhh! No one needs to know the truth.

So, given this conflicted nature of Kentucky’s relationship with booze — and Gov. Andy’s Baptist roots (his uncle and grandfather were Primitive Baptist preachers) — perhaps it is not shocking that he would sigh and shrug… and that his office’s press release on his latest order does not mention liquor stores.

Nor does the actual order.

Yet, the order does make a special mention of guns, as did the last one regarding “essential” businesses. One could argue whether guns are “essential,” but are they really “necessary to sustain life.”

Here is what the order says, in part: “Firearms. Consistent with KRS 39A.100(1) (h) and (3), nothing in this Order should be construed to interfere with the lawful sale of firearms and ammunition.”

As Gov. Andy wrote, you are free to keep selling and buying those guns as long as you practice social distancing and good hygiene when you do.

But, at least we will have our liquor while shooting our guns, right? Now that is “Healthy at Home.” • LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

GOV. ANDY: ‘THERE ARE ONLY AMERICANS VS. THE CORONAVIRUS’…

WE ASK: WHY ARE KENTUCKY REPUBLICANS BEING SUCH JERKS?

By Keith Stone | kstone@leoweekly.com

IT’S BAD ENOUGH that Kentucky had to endure the national embarrassment of Gov. Matt Bevin, and we still suffer the taint of Republican Sens. Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul.

Oh, and U.S. Rep. Thomas “I Patented Churlishness” Massie, who singlehandedly forced members of Congress to return to Washington, D.C., in the midst of an epidemic to pass a bill that even tRump says is needed to help people in this time.

Now up at bat from Kentucky’s bench of B Team Troglodytes is state Sen. Damon Thayer, the Republican floor leader from Georgetown, Kentucky. He was featured in The New York Times in an article about how some state legislators are feeling stifled by the coronavirus because they cannot get their right wing bills through (our words).

See, Gov. Andy repeatedly has beseeched the Republican-controlled legislature to pass a state budget and any coronavirus legislation — and go the fuck home (again, our words).

You know, because gatherings of large groups of old, white men could be hazardous for their collective health, let alone anyone who might be unfortunate enough to consort

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with them in their districts. They would be like dandelions of virus hit by a wind blast.

Thayer told The Times his party would agree to leave only if Gov. Andy assured lawmakers of an open-ended special session later, so, you know, they could take up all of their bills.

“People want to use the virus to shut us down and kill bills they don’t like,” Thayer said.

Like the bill that would amend the state constitution to ban abortion. They stuck around to vote on that.

Like a bill that would require voters to present photo identification to vote, which is heading to the governor’s desk for his signature or veto. They voted on that. They also advanced legislation that would limit gubernatorial pardons and allow them to call themselves into special session (a power now held by the governor alone).

And then there is the ding dong Republican from Dry Ridge, Rep. Savannah Maddox, who introduced a measure that would allow people and businesses to sue the governor over his emergency measures during this crisis.

At Thursday’s 5 p.m. Corona

Cocktail Hour with Gov. Andy, he was asked about a bill that would allow the attorney general, a Republican acolyte of McConnell’s, to regulate abortion clinics.

You could see the angst in good Gov. Andy’s face and hear it in his voice as he tried to stay calm while answering.

“The question is on a bill that may be moving to allow the attorney general to shut down abortion providers and will I veto it.

You know,” he said shaking his head, “I, I… this is the coronavirus we are facing.

(Shaking his head again) And every day that we focus on anything else, and I know this is an issue. It is really important to people in numerous ways. But every day we get together and we pass bills on other things, and every day we shift our focus, and every day we focus on something that can stir people up at a time we need them to be calm, I just don’t think we are doing the right thing. I haven’t seen that bill. I don’t know what the bill is. And that is because I focus every day on making sure we can buy as much personal protective equipment as we can, that we can have as many test kits as we can and that we have the right steps in place to protect people from coronavi-

rus. Now is not the time for any traditional battles that might have happened between various parties. Now is the time we all come together. We push every bill aside that might upset or concern people, we pass a budget, we pass any other bill that will help us with the coronavirus, and we go home.”

So for the TLDNR folks along for the ride: Gov. Andy said, 1) let’s focus on the coronavirus, 2) let’s not debate bills that will contribute to our stress, 3), and let’s pass a budget or any other coronavirus bills and go the fuck home (our words, but you know the devil on his shoulder wanted him to say that).

Why? Because, as Gov. Andy said, to repeat: “I focus every day on making sure we can buy as much personal protective equipment as we can, that we can have as many test kits as we can and that we have the right steps in place to protect people from coronavirus.”

To be fair, the legislature did approve COVID-19 relief last Thursday, Senate Bill 150. Among other actions, it would loosen requirements for unemployment benefits and extend help to self-employed workers and others who would otherwise not be eligible.

That Thursday, before that bill had passed, Gov. Andy told reporters that he hoped the bill would provide him the room to govern in this crisis: “I need maximum flexibility. We are living this battle, and we are fighting it day by day. I need the maximum amount of financial flexibility. I need the maximum amount of flexibility if I have to take more restrictive steps. We need the flexibility to be able to move very fast to work with local governments, which they have responded incredibly well.”

He concluded with: “I said up here how I feel: There are no Democrats or Republicans. There are only Americans vs. the coronavirus. But I see that. I see it in local governments, where, admittedly, I used to think people were partisan, or even certain individuals were partisan on one way or another. I am not seeing that.”

He did not mention the legislature. Coincidence? •

NEWS & ANALYSIS

LOUISVILLE RESIDENT RETURNS AFTER BEING STUCK IN PERU

By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com JACK HARDIN IS BACK in his hometown of Louisville after being stuck in Peru for over two weeks under a coronavirus-driven national lockdown.

“I feel great,” said the 19-year-old on Wednesday afternoon, less than a day after getting back to the United States. “It’s much more relaxed here by far. You’re still able to go to stores, drive around, it’s just a lot more freedom.” (He’ll have to wait to fully enjoy that freedom; Hardin said he’ll be in self quarantine for at least the next two weeks).

Hardin believes he was one of the last stranded Americans to be evacuated out of Peru after the government started a national quarantine on March 16, blocking most flights in and out of the country.

As of March 30, the U.S. Embassy reported it had evacuated 2,800 Americans.

But the process leading up to Hardin’s flight was difficult. He told LEO last week that the U.S. government was not providing as much information about its efforts to extract him from the country as he would have liked.

On Sunday, he finally received a message from the U.S. embassy in Peru that a bus would pick him up in the morning to drive him to a military hangar in Lima. He was one of the last to receive an email because he was stranded three hours outside of a big city, stuck in the small beach town of Paracas.

At midnight on Tuesday, Hardin arrived in Louisville, weary after around 18 hours of traveling. The first thing he did upon returning was rest.

Hardin left the U.S. for a solo backpacking trip across South America on Feb. 13. At the time, there were only 15 cases of coronavirus in the United States, and its threat seemed far off to him.

“I’d heard of it because of the Wuhan cases in China, and I’d seen all the videos, but I didn’t think it was going to spread that quickly,” Hardin said.

He started off his trip in Columbia, happily immersing himself in a culture he had never experienced. No one he encountered there was worried about coronavirus. It wasn’t until he arrived in Peru, about four weeks into his trip, that he started to realize that things were getting serious.

“I was seeing that the United States was starting to freak out,” Hardin said. “I was just seeing kind of on social media all the

stuff about toilet paper being taken away.”

On March 14, he decided to book a flight back to the United States.

One day later, the Peruvian government announced its national quarantine.

Hardin had to rely on the U.S. government to get him back to the country.

“I’ll say the whole process has not felt transparent at all,” he told LEO last week.

“You just kind of hear about people getting out. It’s not real structured.”

The U.S. launched a repatriation task force for Americans stuck abroad on March 19, but at first, it wasn’t having success extracting its citizens from Peru. Politico reported last week that negotiations were stalled by demands from the Peruvian government for the United States to ensure safe passage for its citizens trapped abroad as well. Last Wednesday, U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Florida, tweeted that a “competent official” would be heading to Peru to help extract Americans there.

Hardin’s parents also contacted Kentucky U.S. Sens. Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell and U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, LEO’s founder, in hopes of getting him back soon. All offices responded to Hardin’s father, Jeff Hardin, and kept Jeff updated on the situation, he said.

Meanwhile, Peru’s national quarantine grew more prohibitive. At first, alcohol and social gatherings were banned. Hardin was only allowed to leave his hostel to go to the grocery and pharmacy. Then, an 8 p.m. curfew was instated, with the threat of arrest if Hardin or others violated it. Before Hardin left, the curfew was tightened to 6 p.m.

Finally, on Sunday at noon, the U.S. Embassy contacted Hardin, saying that he was the next to get out of the country. At 5:30 a.m. the next day, a bus arrived to pick up him and around seven other Americans.

On its way out of the city, the bus was

Jack Hardin was traveling in Peru.

waved through a checkpoint by Peruvian police. When Hardin’s ride reached another city where around 20 Americans were waiting, it was guided through by a government motorcade.

Hardin and the other passengers were taken to an airport hangar in Lima that was crowded with more U.S. citizens waiting to get home. They were all asked to sign documentation promising that they would be responsible for reimbursing the American government for the flight.

“The mood was definitely that we were all very excited and happy to be coming back to the United States, because it had been 16 days at that point,” said Hardin. “But it was also a little, you could sense a tad bit of maybe agitation amongst people just because we’re signing promissory notes, and we don’t know how much we’re actually paying for the flight.”

At least Hardin was flying out of Peru, though. At 8 p.m., he reached U.S. soil for the first time in over a month on a layover in Miami. By midnight, he was in Louisville.

Hardin’s father picked him up from the airport. Throughout the time that Hardin was stuck in South America, his parents, who are divorced, have been stressed about when he would get home.

“I’m just worried about him, and I’m worried about the uncertainties,” Christine Hardin, Jack’s mother, told LEO last week.

After Hardin got back to Louisville, his dad took him home, where Hardin got to sleep after many hours of travel.

When he spoke to LEO, he was just about to visit his mom for the first time. •

Continued from page 7

PROTESTING IN THE ERA OF CORONAVIRUS: ACTIVISTS GET CREATIVE

On Friday, after participating in a webinar with activists from across the country, and realizing that they should probably step up their social distancing efforts, LSURJ and The Bail Project created a caravan of their own — cyclists and drivers riding past Louisville’s ICE field office, the Hall of Justice and mayor’s office — to protest conditions at the jail.

Sharon Fleck, a board member with Indivisible Kentucky, said her group typically promotes and helps organize protests that other groups are spearheading, but she still doesn’t see any mass gatherings, like the Rally Against McConnell’s Corruption event that Indivisible helped host this February, happening anytime soon.

“Now is not the time to have large groups of people gather,” she said.

Indivisible will continue to promote other protest events, as it did with Save KY Democracy’s caravan.

“I think it’s a great idea,” she said. “I don’t think that it has the same impact as, you know, having 10,000 people at the Capitol the way we did a couple years ago.”

Activists have been able to harness other avenues of protest besides in-person rallies to their advantage, too.

The day before the caravan, Save KY Democracy launched a social media and communications blitz to notify legislators digitally and via phone and email about their demands.

“Interestingly enough, it seems like legislators are paying more attention to their social media handles right now,” said Jones.

And, Save KY’s efforts seemed to have paid off, or, at least gotten something back.

After the caravan on Thursday afternoon, House Speaker David Osborne announced that SB 1, an anti-sanctuary bill (one that Save KY is against), was likely dead for the session. No abortion bills would be addressed in the House on that Thursday either, said Osborne.

“It definitely feels like a win,” said Jones, acknowledging that Save KY Democracy probably wasn’t the only factor influencing Osborne’s decision, “and I also feel inspired that this protest and the social media campaign and lots of other people in their own ways are still finding ways to communicate to our legislature about what we want and need.” •

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

HOW SOON BEFORE WE ALL LIVE IN ‘MAPLE STREET,’ OR BEING A CORONA COP TO SAVE LIVES

By Keith Stone | leo@leoweekly.com

IT IS BEGINNING to feel a lot like a “Twilight Zone” episode about how something bad happens in society, government seizes control — and then gets us to report on our neighbors.

Or maybe this actual one: “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street “(1960), which is about how a blackout fosters suspicion among neighbors and ultimately turns them against each other.

Of course, these shows were parables for the times, the Cold War. But, now, here we are: Gov. Andy and Mayor Greg, our grand and august leaders, have each said the state of Kentucky and city of Louisville are awaiting your reports of businesses not practicing social distancing and of other instances of “non-compliance.”

The website for the state hotline says it was created so “citizens can report large gatherings or establishments that are not in compliance with directives.”

“If you are aware of large gatherings or establishments that are not complying with the state’s orders, work-from-home instructions, or social distancing procedures, please visit the ‘Report Non-Compliance’ page, which allows citizens to report an incident …”

The city wants you to call 311 (so, basically you might as well shout your complaint into a wall).

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Mayor Greg tweeted: “Thanks to the majority of our community for staying home & practicing social distancing. Unfortunately, some haven’t gotten the message.

Please, stay home unless it’s necessary!”

And, then, he directs you to a YouTube video from LouisvilleMetro TV that shows people in parks using verboten playground equipment and congregating closely.

Go online! Maybe you will see yourself getting a tan in the park!

One person replied to this tweet: “Have LMPD tear gas those idiots. Not kidding.”

If you are not into government snitching, don’t worry: Social media gives everyone a chance to publicly call out violators and shame them into submission on your own!

Just over the weekend, keyboards and touch screens across the land were atwitter, so to speak, about how a private golf club seemingly allowed golfers to congregate.

There were even photos.

Courier Journal reporter Phillip Bailey, a prodigious tweeter (Philmonger @phillipbailey), was all up in the story. When someone criticized the twitter shaming as “social media tattling,” Philmonger replied: “More calls to #stopsnitching on #LouEastEnd golfers.

Sucks when it’s your community being policed, huh?

I guess we should stayed focused on

#LouWestEnd pickup basketball games or street racing.

NOT. ON. MY. WATCH. #KYGov #COVID19 #coronavirus” Bailey’s tweet, then, brings up issues of socioeconomics, perhaps class and race.

Why not?

At least in literature, class often becomes a character in pandemics and plagues.

Or so writes Jill Lepore, in her fabulous New Yorker piece “What Our Contagion Fables Are Really About.” The story’s subtitle: “In the literature of pestilence, the greatest threat isn’t the loss of human life but the loss of what makes us human.”

“The great dream of the Enlightenment was progress; the great dread of epidemic is regress.

But in American literature such destruction often comes with a democratic twist: contagion is the last leveller,” Lepore wrote.

That is true in the end with death.

But before then, decisions made about how to react can bring into high relief issues of class and race.

Locally, Mayor Greg decided to keep open city golf courses but close basketball courts. The rationale is that golf can be played at a distance and without touching anything that touches anyone else.

“I didn’t want to have to close public areas in our parks and was hoping this wouldn’t be necessary,” Mayor Greg Fischer said. “But too many people have shown they have yet to grasp the serious nature of this threat and were gathering in crowds in our parks and ignoring social distancing.”

As The CJ put it in its inimitably diplomatic way: “That decision, though, has raised some community concerns over equity, given that golf has historically been viewed as an activity for the affluent.”

Following social media reports of basketballers sweating over each other in the parks required tougher action.

The hoops came down.

Yet, after this latest golf club transgression, the links have remained open.

Golfers are more responsible than ball players, or is it just where they might live?

Bailey asked in a tweet: “Is tennis a contact sport? @loukyparks took those nets down too.

Y’all act like golfers don’t have locker rooms and country clubs where they congregate.

This is an incredible stretch folks are doing to exempt a certain group but not others and it is becoming very transparent.”

And: “Just waiting to see if Prospect is held to the same health standards as #LouWestEnd.” For his part, Gov. Andy cautioned that golf courses might be closed if problems persist. And, he warned that Big Government would be watching (our words, but on point).

“We can’t allow any crowds in Kentucky right now. So, we are going to ask, again our mayors and county judges, and we as a state are going to be sending folks out, where social distancing is not being followed, we are going to have to close golf courses and other places like it down,” he said during Sunday’s 5 p.m. What I Did on My Coronacation Slideshow with Andy.

He then said that callers already have warned him about home improvement stores not working to improve our collective health: “We’ve received a number of reports, mainly from home improvement stores, that we are going to have to look into, and we are going to have to have calls with those in those facilities.”

Good job, Corona Cops!

Now, for all of you out there who sit by your police scanners and ask to speak the manager, if you want to be a Corona Cop, The CJ has a story for you: “How to report people who are breaking social distancing rules amid coronavirus” So, how soon before we all live on Maple Street?

At the end of the Twilight Zone episode, Martian No. 1 looks down at the chaos below on Maple Street and says: “Throw them into darkness for a few hours and sit back and watch the pattern.”

“And this pattern is always the same?” asked Martian No. 2.

“With few variations. They pick the most dangerous enemy they can find, and it is themselves. All we need do is sit back and watch.” •

NEWS & ANALYSIS

MCCONNELL GETS RE-ELECTED BECAUSE YOU ALL FORGET — DO NOT FORGET!

By Aaron Yarmuth | ayarmuth@leoweekly.com HE HAS STAKED his entire political career on a single bet: Voters will forget by the time they vote.

U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell never would have lasted in the House of Representatives because elections are held every two years. A six-year term in the Senate provides plenty of time for him to fudge, manipulate and whitewash his record.

Never has this been more stark than McConnell’s about-face and frantic public messaging about the Senate stepping up to meet the demands of the coronavirus crisis.

After the Senate passed a $2.2 trillion emergency relief package on March 26, McConnell tweeted: “I am proud the Senate stepped up.”

And, McConnell has been showing urgency all week.

March 24: “That’s why the Senate is working non-stop on a bipartisan agreement on bold, urgent relief. We can’t afford to waste another moment.”

March 23: “This is a crisis. Why is only one side acting like it?”

March 22: “The American people expect us to act. If we fail, it will be because Senate

Democrats are continuing to dither while the country expects bold, bipartisan action.”

Tweets on March 20 included: “This crisis is moving fast. The Senate is here, we are working, and we need to deliver.”

“We’re going to stay until we get this done.”

So much urgency…

The problem with McConnell’s feigned urgency is that the House passed an emergency funding bill on March 14. After days of negotiations between House Democrats and the Trump administration, it passed the bill that Saturday morning, just after midnight.

McConnell, the leader who has been spouting the need for urgency for two weeks, wouldn’t pass the bill in the Senate for four more days.

Why? As I wrote March 18, McConnell had to be back in Louisville for a judge’s investiture, a ceremony for a new judge. McConnell helped get this judge appointed to the Western District of the Kentucky federal bench.

Not only did he violate the health guidelines of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that warn elderly to not travel, but he adjourned the Senate for the weekend so he could go on this trip. While the country was under attack by a global pandemic, and we were seeing signs of the worst economic disaster in our lifetimes begin to unfold, McConnell was attending a party.

The country would just have to wait for the Senate to come back.

McConnell depends on you to forget that.

In an election year, being absent on the job during a health and economic crisis is perilous, even for McConnell in red state Kentucky.

McConnell must know he made a huge mistake. But, McConnell also knows how to help voters forget about it.

That is why, in every message this week, he has been firing off tweets and making Senate floor speeches to change the story — the Senate is acting responsibly and diligently on the coronavirus epidemic.

And, if his record of reelection is any measure, McConnell will help enough voters to forget about this failure, too, just like he

has his entire career.

Remember when McConnell revealed how little he cares about government spending?

In 2019, he was pushing a budget proposal to increase federal spending limits by $320 billion and suspend the federal debt ceiling until after both his and Trump’s elections in 2020. He advised Trump “no politician has ever lost an election for spending more money.”

McConnell can help you forget that he ever said that or that he had any hand in the debt that has accrued during his 35 years in the Senate.

Remember what McConnell promised to do for your healthcare?

He promised to tear up Obamacare “root and branch.” That was his campaign promise in every election between 2010 and 2016, when Trump was elected and Republicans controlled the House, Senate and White House. When he failed to pass any healthcare legislation out of the Senate, did he continue to fight for reform? Of course not.

He just depended on you forgetting about it.

Remember the economic boom McConnell promised would come from his $1.5 trillion tax cut?

He told CNN at the time, in October 2017, “There wasn’t a single year of 3% growth during President Obama’s tenure, not one. We ought to be growing about 3% a year, on average, to realize the hopes and dreams of the next generation.”

He also made the same claim on “Face The Nation” in December 2017.

Well, Gross Domestic Product growth in Trump’s first three years in office was 2.3%, 2.9% and 2.4%, and 2020 sure doesn’t look like it’s going to improve that yearly average.

Think we’ll hear any more promises of a booming, 3% per year growing economy from McConnell?

He also promised the $1.5 trillion tax cuts would be revenue-neutral (because of all that economic growth). Well, in 2019, the federal deficit was a mere $984 billion — a 28% increase from the previous year.

But federal spending has been out of control for decades, who will remember it was actually McConnell’s tax reform that was the primary driver of the exploding deficit?

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

STATE OF INDIANA : In The Perry Circuit Court COUNTY OF: Perry CAUSE NUMBER: 62C01-2002-JT-000054 IN THE MATTER OF THE TERMINATION OF THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP: AC - DOB 11/15/2018 AND Lindsey Cook (Biological Mother) Walter Nolen (Alleged Father) AND ANY UNKNOWN ALLEGED FATHERS

SUMMONS FOR SERVICE BY PUBLICATION & NOTICE OF TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS HEARING TO: Walter Nolen and Any Unknown Alleged Father (Whereabouts unknown).

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN to the above noted parent whose whereabouts are unknown, as well as Any Unknown Alleged Fathers, whose whereabouts are also unknown, that the Indiana Department of Child Services has filed a Petition for Involuntary Termination of your Parental Rights, and that an adjudication hearing has been scheduled with the Court.

YOU ARE HEREBY COMMANDED to appear before the Judge of the Perry Circuit Court, 2219 Payne Street, Tell City, IN 47586 - 812-547-7048 for a(n) Fact Finding Hearing on 5/7/2020 at 8:30 AM and to answer the Petition for Termination of your Parental Rights of said child.

You are further notified that if the allegations in said petition are true, and/or if you fail to appear at the hearing, the Juvenile Court may terminate your parent-child relationship; and if the Court terminates your parent-child relationship you will lose all parental rights, powers, privileges, immunities, duties and obligations including any rights to custody, control, visitation, or support in said child; and if the Court terminates your parent-child relationship, it will be permanently terminated, and thereafter you may not contest an adoption or other placement of said child.

You are entitled to representation by an attorney, provided by the State if applicable, throughout these proceedings to terminate the parent-child relationship.

YOU MUST RESPOND by appearing in person or by an attorney within thirty (30) days after the last publication of this notice, and in the event you fail to do so, adjudication on said petition and termination of your parental rights may be entered against you, in your absence, without further notice.

Amanda F. Mogan Clerk Amy Meyer, #32396-26 Attorney, Indiana Department of Child Services 609 Ravine Street Shoals, IN 47581 Office: 812-247-2871

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

After every mass shooting, McConnell just flips the hourglass and waits for the sands to extinguish the public outcry for gun legislation that would — even when there is overwhelming public support: ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines, require universal background checks and so on.

He and other senators with A-ratings from the NRA will just turn to trusted talking points, call for action on mental health funding… and wait until the public forgets.

The Senate has long recesses in August and over Christmas and the holiday season.

It adjourns for a spring break during the National Cherry Blossom Festival. No matter when a mass shooting occurs, there is alway a nice, long recess around the corner for McConnell to hide behind. By the time the Senate is back in session, people will have moved on.

After all, in times of such massive, tragic loss, how could anyone drag the country through a divisive policy debate over the Second Amendment? Now is the time for uniting, remembering loved ones… and forgetting he’s done nothing to help stop the next mass shooting.

Remember McConnell dragging his feet on support for coal miner’s pension funds?

McConnell had held up for months legislation that would have protected the pensions of nearly 90,000 retired coal workers — funding that the coal miners’ union had been pleading for for years.

Suddenly, when several coal mining companies filed for bankruptcy, further imperiling the pension fund, McConnell made a total about-face and became a champion of coal workers.

“I’ve spent my entire career in the Senate fighting for all Kentuckians,” McConnell said in a Senate speech. “I’ve worked to protect coal communities from bad ideas and to promote their future. And I will keep working with the Trump administration and with my colleagues on both sides to support our mining families.”

Remember the about-face?

McConnell did the same thing to the 9/11 first responders bill.

Perhaps most telling is McConnell’s turnaround on election security funding?

Every American intelligence agency reported that Russia attacked the integrity of the 2016 U.S. election. Do you remember when McConnell supported legislation that would fund states’ efforts to enhance their election security?

Not before the 2018 election, in which Republicans were shellacked, losing seats in the Senate and control of the House. In fact,

his obstruction of election security legislation in 2017 is partly what earned him the nickname “Moscow Mitch.”

It was in September 2019 — before McConnell’s own election, in 2020 — when he finally protected the integrity of American elections.

Now he can claim he passed a $250 million election security bill. And who would remember, much less hold him accountable, for waiting until one more round of foreign interference before the Senate “stepped up”?

Remember how he normalized filibustering to obstruct President Obama’s entire legislative agenda and federally appointed nominees? The constitution does not require a 60 vote threshold to pass legislation in the Senate — that was a new normal created by McConnell. Remember?

And, of course, do you remember how he waged an unprecedented partisan crusade on the courts?

Sure, you remember how McConnell obstructed Judge Merrick Garland’s nomination to the Supreme Court — prohibiting Republican senators from even meeting with Garland. But he had good reason: The President shouldn’t get to appoint a Supreme Court Justice in an election year… the voters should decide.

Remember your civics class? Separation of powers…? That was civics, right?

Actually, no, McConnell made that rule up. Remember?

And McConnell didn’t just obstruct Garland. He obstructed dozens upon dozens of Obama appointments to lower courts.

According to an analysis by the Brookings Institute, over 70 federal seats could have been filled by Obama appointees but were blocked by McConnell.

It is difficult to keep track of all the ways in which McConnell has perverted the Senate and the judiciary or to remember all or the misleading claims and unfulfilled promises he lets slide out of memory, especially when we have more important things to focus on, like addressing this coronavirus and the financial devastation it is causing families across the country.

In a way, this crisis is a political gift McConnell could only dream about. An opportunity to look productive and bipartisan… like a statesmen. A crisis of such magnitude that nobody will stop and question the last five years of representing corporate donors, PACs and the NRA. It’s year six, and he’s bringing pittance back home to the people who need it most.

I’m certain there are more examples from his 30 years in the Senate preceding his current term. But I can’t remember them. •

PHOTOS

THE CITY UNDER CORONA

By Kathryn Harrington | leo@leoweekly.com IT SEEMS MOST OF US Louisvillians are following Gov. Andy’s plea to stay “healthy at home.” But some of us still have to leave home to work, while others have been enjoying being social outside at a distance.

Check out these photos of the City Under Corona.

Before noon on a weekday, Fourth Street Live was empty.

The work doesn’t stop for Rick Valentine who smiled for a photo while in downtown Louisville to put in a gas line.

These electronic kiosks usually are the place to find out where you are and where to go to eat or drink, but now they offer information aimed at keeping you alive.

Charles Kemble rode through downtown on his day off. Kemble, who is an ambassador for Block by Block, has been working to sanitize frequently touched surfaces in downtown Louisville such as door handles and parking meters.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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PHOTOS

Typically crowded, The Belvedere was empty of visitors as Louisville residents are advised to stay home and tourism has fallen off.

The sidewalks on Main Street were nearly vacant.

Usually flowing with vehicles at midmorning, the streets of downtown Louisville have had far less traffic as more people work remotely.

Two of the few visitors to the waterfront, Jim and Anna Locke took in welcomed sun for Anna’s birthday.

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PHOTOS

‘DANCE THE DISTANCE’ GETS BUTCHERTOWN MOVING

By Kathryn Harrington | leo@leoweekly.com AS IT BECAME apparent that the coronavirus pandemic would upend normal life and force many to stay home, Ken Lucchese and Jeannde Ford had an idea: bring music and dance to Butchertown residents with the goal of getting them to join in — from the safe distance of their yards and porches, of course.

Last Sunday, Ford danced to music through Butchertown while Lucchese filmed interactions with those who wanted to dance along. They said they hope through their “Dance the Distance” project that they can lift spirits and strengthen connections. They plan to be in Germantown on Sunday, and you can message them on their Facebook page, “Dance the Distance,” to ask them to come dance in your neighborhood.

Check out these photos.

Kyal Mattingly and his grandmother Pat danced along with Jeannde Ford in Butchertown on Sunday.

A neighbor and friend of Ford and Lucchese, Patti Pugh enjoyed the performance from her window.

Jeannde Ford and Ken Lucchese made their way through Butchertown looking for neighbors at home who might want to dance along.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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PHOTOS

Jeannde Ford encouraged Heidi Lael and Elijah McKenzie to dance.

Ken Lucchese filmed while Jeannde Ford danced to music for their Butchertown neighbors.

Jeannde Ford wrote ‘Dance the Distance 3/29/2020’ in chalk at the end of her last performance for the day.

Butchertown residents enjoyed Jeannde Ford’s performance from a safe distance on their porches.

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STAFF PICKS

TUESDAY, APRIL 7

Roots101 Poetry Slam

THURSDAY, APRIL 2

Virtual Friends Trivia Facebook Live facebook.com/louisvilletinroof Free | 8-9 p.m.

The bars are closed. We miss our friends. And, we miss GENIUS our usual trivia nights.

Au contraire… Tin Roof has got you covered on trivia and friends — pun intended, because it’s a virtual “Friends” trivia night, based on the ‘90s sitcom. It’s free and social and prizes can still be won! But, you might ask, everyone is trying to cheat on trivia night when we’re together, how can we keep people from cheating when they’re self-quarantined at home? Well, questions will be asked over Facebook Live, and the first three people to answer correctly in the comments section will receive a point.

Most points at the end wins. There will be two lightning rounds. So make sure you have all your self-poured drinks ready and a solid internet connection. Tips for staff facing financial disruption will also be accepted via “Virtual Tips” through Venmo. Hopefully, as Ross would argue, we’re just “ON A BREAK!” — Aaron Yarmuth

FRIDAY, APRIL 3

Virtual Shakespeare In Central Park: ‘King Lear’

Facebook Live | Search Facebook | Free | 6:45-9 p.m.

Roots101 African American Museum is a Louisville gem, telling the African American experience, including history, culture and art, through exhibits, programs CULTURE and activities. One program is its monthly poetry slam, the second Tuesday of every month. This month, as a result of the coronavirus epidemic, it’s going virtual.

Deepsea Rice hosts — and expect a special intermission performance by the Sounds of the Week artist. Poems must be an original of the performer and no longer than three minutes.

Five judges will be watching and scoring performances online, with $60 going to the winner, $30 to second place and $10 for third. But, organizers would like to remind everyone, “the point is not the points, the point is the poetry!” No props, costumes or musical instruments are allowed, and it’s $7 to participate.— LEO

Facebook | facebook.com/KentuckyShakespeare | Free | 7-9:30 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8, 15

Governmedaddy Cabaret Facebook Live | facebook.com/jacdirects | Free | 6 p.m.

Jon Huffman in Kentucky Shakespeare’s 2019 production of ‘King Lear.’ | Photo by Bill Brymer.

Kentucky Shakespeare is a blessing upon Louisville: free, well-acted performances of The Bard’s classics every summer. And, with weekly videos of past performancTHEATER es, it continues to be a godsend even as we’re all confined to our homes.

This Friday, KY Shakes is showing the entirety of its 2019 production of “King Lear,” a family tragedy about a king who must decide how much of his land to bequeath to his three daughters. Kentucky Shakespeare will post a link to the video on its Facebook page at the scheduled time of the performance. To get the full experience, order takeout from one of the Louisville Food Truck Association members that set up outside of each Kentucky Shakespeare performance (the theater group recommends Four Pegs, Ramiro’s Cantina and more) and take your laptop outside to watch the show while the sun sets. —Danielle Grady

Pianist John Austin Clark, like many of us, is enamored with Gov. Andy Beshear and his OH, ANDY competent, calm handling of coronavirus in Kentucky. To celebrate Andy’s response, Clark has created the Governmedaddy Cabaret, a weekly, live variety hour of melodies and musings. In his first performance, Clark sang and played piano to an original ode all about Kentucky’s dear leader. Expect more clever earworm performances from Clark every Wednesday at 6 p.m. —Danielle Grady LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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MUSIC

HOW THE CORONAVIRUS HAS AFFECTED LOCAL ALBUM RELEASES: EVERY LOUISVILLE RELEASE HAS BEEN RATTLED

Jeremy King and Verity Vice of Vice Ticks

By Scott Recker | srecker@leoweekly.com RYAN PATTERSON played a concert in San Diego on March 13, the day his latest album under the moniker Fotocrime was released.

The next day, he flew home to Louisville, cancelling the remaining shows on the tour because of the rapid spread of the coronavirus. That album, a haunting, post-punk full-length called South Of Heaven, had its release cycle come to a screeching halt. A year of writing and recording, tour logistics and promotion plans, the preparations to get South Of Heaven to a wider audience, all seemed to vanish. But, after a visceral initial reaction, the loss of the record’s momentum now seems like a distant problem.

“My immediate emotional response, it just felt crushing,” Patterson said. “That hope that you hold onto as an artist was kind of being squashed. It’s honestly a little

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

hard to tap into because it already feels like a lifetime ago. To think about my record in the current state of the world, it’s just so small scale. It’s really hard to bemoan my life when I’m healthy and I’m OK, and I’m safe.”

Local musicians who are releasing albums during the pandemic are finding themselves in tricky and complex situations.

Some, like Patterson, have had to abandon months of preparations, losing opportunities, but they are also more concerned about the larger health and economic situation.

Some artists are weighing whether to keep a current release date — getting music out to people who are stuck at home — or push back the date and wait for a release show that will get them in front of an audience, which, in turn, would most likely move

more physical copies of a record. No two situations are the same. But, they all have one thing in common: Anyone releasing an album this spring has had to restructure their plans, because the coronavirus has dismantled album releases. And there’s no definite time frame for how long that will be the case.

It’s something Jaxon Lee Swain has been thinking a lot about. As the vice president of Louisville label SonaBLAST! Records, Swain is in the midst of helping several local artists navigate album release plans during this time.

“It’s kind of project to project, because every artist has different goals and different places they’re trying to hit, whether it’s publicity-wise, or on the road, or whatever,” Swain said. “I feel horrible for so many

artists that we work with, and our whole arts community that’s kind of at a standstill with live performances. That’s been the biggest kink in the system as far as changing how we’re going to do what we’re going to do and when we’re going to do it.”

Although Swain said that live performances are usually pivotal to local record releases, he also said this is also a moment when people are looking to consume music, and that’s why it’s a case-by-case basis.

“We have no problem with getting stuff out, getting records out,” Swain said. “I love doing that because it gives people something to listen to, but if that’s going to pose a bigger problem in their album cycle, then that’s an issue we have to deal with as well — like maybe try to renegotiate our attack on the release.”

MUSIC

STAYING ON TRACK AT A DISTANCE

Belushi Speed Ball was one of the bands on SonaBLAST! Records that decided to keep their record release date. The thrash metal band dropped a three-song EP, This Is What We Look Like, on March 28.

There was a planned release show at Kaiju, but that was canceled weeks ago with plenty of time to push back the date. Belushi Speed Ball decided to do a livestream of the album on Facebook instead.

They couldn’t play it live in front of a webcam because they live in apartments, so they improvised, using the studio audio, and a lot of artistic liberty, creating something closer to a music video. It’s strange, entertaining and very on-brand.

“We prerecorded it because our fear was that come March 28, we actually couldn’t get together at all,” singer Vinny Castellano said. “So, we decided to prerecord it, and then I livestreamed it off of a VHS copy of it, which is, you know, fitting to the band.”

Belushi Speed Ball is primarily a live band. They have a concept for every show and do things such as spray the crowd with Silly String and load up a bunch of candy into a fertilizer spreader. But, they decided to move forward with the release, despite not being able to deploy their usual antics.

“I don’t think the best decision is to wait on releasing anything,” Castellano said. “I think we should continue releasing music because right now, especially with people being locked up in their homes, that’s what they really need. They need that in their lives to feel normal.

They need that music.”

USING THE DOWNTIME TO EXPAND

Vice Tricks canceled their single release show that was supposed to take place on March 13. That song, “Rude Awakening,” was still released on streaming services, but the band planned to include it on a forthcoming EP. That EP now might turn into a full-length album if they can safely get each member to record in bassist Verity Vice and guitarist/vocalist Jeremy King’s home studio.

“We might just sit down, one person at a time — get the drums down, then plug in the guitars and whatnot — so we might just go ahead and do a whole album,” King said.

“I think this is forcing everyone to find creative and inventive ways to deal with this situation, and continue with making music,” Vice added. “It’s going to be fascinating how that all plays out for each individual performer.”

Vice Tricks is trying to make the best out of the situation, but they also realize it’s going to be rocky few months.

“One day at a time, that’s all we can all do,” Vice said.

A LONG WAIT, A TOUR GONE

Nick and Amber Thieneman, the couple behind the band Fool’s Ghost, recorded their album, Dark Woven Light, almost two years ago with Kevin Ratterman and Anne Gauthier at the local studio La La Land. They held onto the record to shop it to labels, and they eventually found a fit on Prosthetic Records, the venerable Los Angeles company. Dark Woven Light dropped on March 20, and Fool’s Ghost was supposed to join Fotocrime on the road for a little over two weeks to promote it.

Usually the Thienemans perform as a duo, but for this run of shows, they brought on two new members, and have been rehearsing as a four-piece since early February — more time and energy lost.

“You’re working toward this moment, and then you just get the wind knocked out of you by it,” Nick said.

In the grand scheme of things, they know there’s bigger issues at play, but years of work

by Fool’s Ghost have just been thrown into chaos. It’s a strange juxtaposition for artists: on one hand, it could be worse; on the other, this is a pretty big hit.

“There’s not much you can do in these kinds of situations,” Nick said. “Really what it is, is our troubles versus the world’s. What’s the bigger issue here? There’s a lot of bigger problems happening in the world, so I don’t want to sound like I’m having a pity party or anything like that, but it’s not fun to have to work toward something and then have it taken away from you when you have spent and invested so much time. And we only have so much time to give per year. Our schedules are intense. And we have an 8-year-old son.”

NEW PLANS

Singer-songwriter Carly Johnson was scheduled to release her debut full-length, Pink & Gold, at Headliners Music Hall on May 15, but both the album release and the show are going to move to the late fall.

With a vinyl being pressed and a mainly local fan base, she feels like a release show is too important to bypass.

“I feel like my record in particular, with the type of audience that I have, it’s such a huge Louisville base, that it really just needs a live concert with it,” Johnson said. “I feel like if I put it out in May, especially, at this time, when there’s a lot of uncertainty, I think it would get lost.”

Although the album is on hold, Johnson knows that people are bored and looking for new music. So, she has multimedia plans for singles from the forthcoming album and a few older songs.

“I do want to be productive in the mean time, and put as much content out as I can by doing some kind of music videos, that artistically don’t at all involve live action — people getting together and being filmed,” Johnson said. “I have a couple music video plans in the works.”

IN TIMES LIKE THESE

To circle back to Ryan Patterson: The longtime local punk and indie veteran — maybe best known for his band Coliseum — has spent the last few years trying to build up Fotocrime, the synth-heavy, gothic project that just released that aforementioned second album. He toured Mexico right before the domino effect of cancellations. The North America dates are off. And his string of summer shows in Europe doesn’t look promising. One of the hardest things for him is that he can’t bring the songs from the record in a live setting to friends and strangers across the globe, but he said that people have still been letting him know that they’re listening.

“I’ve had a lot of direct, really personal interaction with people via email and comments, and messages and things like that, about the record,” Patterson said. “People are definitely really connecting with it, and somebody told me yesterday that they put it on when they went for a walk. And somebody sent me a video of them listening to it when they were cleaning out their garage. And things like that. I do think music is essential for times like this.” • LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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FOOD & DRINK

WHEN DINING IN IS NOT POSSIBLE, CHEFS WORRY BUT GET CREATIVE DURING CORONAVIRUS SHUTDOWN

‘We’re going down a river and hanging onto a log right now,’ said Chef Anthony Lamas of Seviche — A Latin Restaurant.

By Kevin Gibson | leo@leoweekly.com CHEF ANTHONY LAMAS opened Seviche, A Latin Restaurant in 2005 in The Highlands, and it was and has continued to be a huge hit with locals and tourists alike for its melding of Latin and Southern culinary influences.

However, Seviche is a fine dining establishment that opens only for dinner — it was never an operation built to last on carryout service.

But since Gov. Andy Beshear mandated on March 16 that restaurants close their dining rooms until further notice, Lamas has simply been finding a way. Seviche posted a pared-down, carryout menu on social media focusing on favorites that, as Lamas put it, “travel well.”

In addition, the restaurant has begun making box lunches for large groups — usually 20 or more — to help feed its needed

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

coronavirus pandemic still is not in sight. income stream. Meanwhile, he and the restaurant’s investors have pledged to pay all Restaurants across the area are doing what they can to keep people fed with more than employees for six weeks, hoping there will just frozen pizzas from the icebox and to be some relief not far behind. create work for as many of their employees “We’re going down a river and hanging as possible. onto a log right Restaurants across the area are Depending on the now,” doing what they can to keep length of Lamas tells LEO people fed with more than just the shutdown, it’s Weekly. frozen pizzas from the icebox anyone’s “We’re guess how just and to create work for as many many indehoping this will of their employees as possible. pendent restaurants get us to and bars will be forced to permanently close, the end.” ultimately altering Louisville’s vaunted Other area restaurants are getting culinary landscape. similarly creative, as the end of the global

Some, such as Floyd County Brewing Co. in New Albany, are creating family dinners for carryout. Others are offering local delivery or discounted gift cards, package liquors and now even cocktails to go in order to help create revenue while the city remains under coronavirus’ grip.

Others, such as Kaiju and River House, have opened temporary bodegas where people can get meats, produce and other items.

Some restaurants, however, are doing fairly well considering the circumstances.

CARRYOUTS WERE PREPARED

River Road BBQ has a small dining room featuring a handful of tables, but most of the business transacted there is carryout.

FOOD & DRINK

With people now eating at home exclusively, owner Jon Gudmundsson said he’s actually seen a bit of an uptick in sales of meats and sides by the pound.

Because of the size of the restaurant, only two people are allowed inside at once, with proper spacing, while anyone who doesn’t want to get out of their car can request curbside service. And, Gudmundsson said, other than disinfecting anything customers touch, such as door handles, there really hasn’t been a need for additional cleaning or sanitation: “We do that anyway.”

In fact, he theorized that getting carryout from his business or any other reputable food concept is potentially a better idea than going to the supermarket to stock up.

For one, it’s far more difficult to contain the spread of germs in a large market where people are roaming freely, he said.

“Everybody I know in the industry is limiting the amount of people who can come in” to their business, Gundmundsson said.

“So rather than going and buying frozen, pre-prepared food, go to a local restaurant and get something that actually tastes good.”

RED HOG: ‘WE NEED TO BE READY’

Red Hog, the unique butcher-shop-meetsrestaurant concept in Crescent Hill, naturally had to scale back the restaurant portion of the business but has kept the butcher shop open, offering curbside service for those who don’t want to come inside. To help augment lost income from dine-in patrons, a carryout menu featuring primarily sandwiches and salads remains available from the restaurant, in addition to such grab-andgo meals as soups, salads, take-and-bake pizzas and sandwiches from the butcher shop, as well as complete rotisserie chicken meals for four.

General manager Duncan Paynter said Red Hog started preparing about a week ahead of the actual shutdown.

“We said, ‘We need to start thinking about what happens, and we need to be ready for that,” Paynter said. “We had plans in place, for the most part.”

For a business such as Saints Pizza Pub in St. Matthews, it’s a different proposition.

SPORTS BAR SUFFERS

Saints does carryout sales and recently began offering online ordering, but the pub operates as a sports bar much of the time.

Coronavirus’ timing was, to put it mildly, not ideal.

“The timing was terrible because of

Red Hog’s Paynter said while the busiMarch Madness,” general manger Bruce Jarrett said. “That’s our biggest month of the ness in the butcher side of the business has been up, the losses from the restaurant side year.” have been felt. Even with a week’s head Instead of celebrating the NCAA tournastart on the shutdown, he and his team are ments, Saints is keeping as many employees continually brainstorming new ideas. Asked working as possible by spending extra time if he feels confident in Red Hog’s sustainon cleaning, remodeling and other projects that had been pushed back for various ability under the circumstances, he balks at a reasons. As for sales, while Jarrett said they definitive answer. are also selling carryout alcohol, it’s not the “I definitely don’t feel good,” he said. same.

“I’m not sure exactly how, long term, but For instance, he notes, while he doesn’t we’re going to ride it out as best as possible. make much profit on the wings he puts on It’s definitely the unknown in front of us special for March Madness, it’s still a huge that’s kind of scary.” boost because margins on alcohol sales are This only underscores the importance of significantly higher. patronizing independent ‘The problem is, if restaurants as much “They’re going to sit there for four hours and possible during the you’re not known as drink beer” while eating shutdown — to give those wings, Jarrett said. for carryout, then them a fighting chance to ride it out, to hang you start doing it, onto that log until they to the end of that AND WHEN IT IS people don’t even get river, to harken back to OVER? So, the question think about you. Lamas’ analogy.

Jarrett said Saints is, when will this all You’re trying to is financially prepared end? What will be the for such a disaster, ultimate fallout? No change a mindset but the business is the one knows, especially because independentlyin two weeks, and exception.

“We’ll be here 10 owned small restaurants that’s not easy to years from now,” Jardon’t typically operate rett said, “but I’m a with a surplus of funds. do. little worried about my According to a New — Jon Gudmundsson, owner of neighbors.”

York Times article, The River Road BBQ. And for those who National Restaurant support independent Association estimated restaurants and are in the early days of the looking forward to returning to their favorite shutdown that the entire restaurant indusspot for celebratory meal when all this is try would lose $225 billion over the next over, Jarrett said, it’s important not to wait. three months and lose five to seven million “If you want to be able to go in four employees. months, you better go there now,” he said.

“I’m scared,” Lamas said. “I hate to say this, but I bet 50% of restaurants won’t make “Or they won’t be there.” • it. I hope we can hang on for six weeks, eight weeks. I don’t want to think of after that.”

Gundmundsson’s estimate was a moreconservative 30%, but he admitted it is a “wild guess.” The circumstances for many of these businesses is particularly treacherous, he pointed out, because owners and managers are being forced to rethink their business models on the fly, learning new processes and systems along the way.

“The problem is, if you’re not known for carryout, then you start doing it, people don’t even think about you,” he said. “You’re trying to change a mindset in two weeks, and that’s not easy to do.”

KEEPING LOUISVILLE Weird since 1990

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FOOD & DRINK

BARKEEP CONFESSIONS

ALCOHOL DELIVERY IN THE TIME OF CORONA

By Kelsey Westbrook | leo@leoweekly.com JARED SCHUBERT is humble. When you ask him to describe himself and his specialties, he says, “I don’t take it too seriously,” and laughs off what I know is extraordinary talent. He’s a well-known bartender, spirits specialist, certified master of his craft in a myriad of ways, founder of beverage programs, educational content and curator of methodology that has been replicated and taught in bars across the nation. I know all of these things, and I’m sure many of you do, too, but when you ask him, he simply claims to be a “‘bon vivant,’” a French term meaning one who takes pleasure in living life (especially of food and drink), or, quite literally, “good liver.” I’m lucky enough to work with Jared (and be his friend), and as we’ve been coming up with alternative ways to get cocktails to the masses from our little karaoke bar that could, he’s taken to alcohol delivery on the side.

It’s not “Love In The Time Of Cholera” — it’s Alcohol In The Time Of Corona, and it’s shaping our quarantine culture and perhaps the foreseeable future.

Beyond the health crisis, many of us still want a hint of normalcy with delicious cocktails at dinner, a bottle of wine for food pairings and simply a social hour with beverages even whilst sequestered in our own homes.

So, sure, we can still leave our homes and head to the store, but to keep travel to essentials and minimize our exposure, enter third-party delivery services. Just like the Postmates and Uber Eats and Grubhubs of the world, various alcohol delivery services such as Drizly, Instacart, Minibar, Swill and more are capitalizing on this time to bring you your boozy necessities. Schubert has driven for two of these services now, and his thoughts on the experience are valuable to our community now more than ever.

“Alcohol delivery from stores is super freaking important,” he said. “Anything we can do to keep people from drinking and driving, and right now they aren’t getting in their cars and getting out into the world,” Schubert described his experience with the two companies, Instacart and Drizly.

“With Instacart, you pick up from Total Wine and a lot of the massive stores and multiple state chains. I liked it but also didn’t like it, because you felt like the small guys weren’t really benefiting from it. The other company was super interesting — you shop on their app, and the closest liquor

store that’s to you is where you pick it up from.”

So, that could be a smaller bottle shop or a larger, corporate store.

We discussed our relationships with our favorite bottle shops and how as consumers we like to choose who we support. If we visit a certain wine store often, the person working typically begins to know what we like, to suggest product, to discuss food pairings. With Postmates, you have full control of which businesses you’re supporting, but with alcohol delivery, it’s limited to larger chains and proximity.

Where do the bottle shops fit in? Additionally, where do the bartenders find their role in all of this? “One thing I have noticed is there’s a level of hospitality that has to come along (with alcohol delivery) because so many people are not educated about what they drink. With alcohol, people are so used to choosing a specific brand — they don’t know that they can try varietals,” he said. Just like with Postmates, if a proprietor is out of something, you have to call the customer and talk them through other suggestions.

This is where bartender education comes into play. “You really have to know your booze to do this well, discuss flavor profiles, one lady — I saved her $15 and introduced her to something new,” Schubert said.

It seems that delivery could be a viable option for out-of-work bartenders.

“We can’t let people’s education and talent languish during this time — I’m seeing bartenders teach people how to make drinks online, all they want to do is educate people,” Schubert said. “If this is where tech is going, if this is where the world is moving, why not make sure that your delivery driver is as educated as your sales associate?

“We go to restaurants and bars for human connection. Even at six feet, it’s something better than a cold exchange — especially now, we need less cold exchanges. Out-ofwork bartenders, and you have a working vehicle, sign up immediately. It will benefit everyone when people with the right knowledge and skill set enter an emerging field and help refine it to where it needs to be.”

Take it from an industry professional we can all learn something from, when the world is changing, we evolve.

Cheers! •

ETC.

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112 Trivial content 113 Benefits plan, maybes

E V A S I V E

S N E A G K E B L Y

54 In mint condition 56 Avatar 59 Park place?

60 Extremely dry 61 Symbols of change, in math 63 Protected on a boat 64 Bathroom sealant 66 Ravaged, as mosquitoes might 67 Spoke aloud 68 Rock band whose lead guitarist notably dresses in a schoolboy uniform 69 Actor Armisen 70 Flies into a violent rage 73 Sci-fi bounty hunter Boba ____ 74 Golfer Aoki 75 Reach out with one’s hands?

77 Susan of “L.A. Law” 78 Abolitionist Horace 80 Spot for cannonballs 82 Part of a Victorian social schedule 84 Who wrote, “This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper” 85 Enticing smells 86 In mint condition 90 Some honors 92 Polishing aids 93 Flatpack retailer

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A D A G E

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R E N O I R

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C A L C O R A H M A N I A N Y E C A F B I R D A N D O T I S M E A X E S U E V O D E W T O R E O U S T O T O O N

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F E D E X

97

74

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P E R C Y

90

86

A B O U T

85

S C A N T

84 89

73

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M O O S

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49

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A P H O A R K D U E B R L I I C N H R E A S D I D O W S E E Y B E P

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48

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D I Y E R S

70

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61

H A N K I E

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18

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63 65

117

34

45

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114

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U P H I L L

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D I S U S E

51

16

30

S H A R D

36

29

E U C H R E

50

15

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28 32

43

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B B A E E D L L H L I D Y E B E P A M A N O N E T E E R R S A U S T I C

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13

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35

109

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96

11 21

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S C A D O A K E L L A L E L G R A R R E D E A P O I M O N O S E N E M N D E E D N O R E D P A T E N T S T O U C S R S T O H O R D O P E P S Y

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G N O C C H I

Down 1 Some book-fair organizers, for short 2 “The Good Doctor” airer 3 Arouse 4 Class Notes subjects 5 Get into with little effort 6 One who asks “Got your ears on?”

7 Rio hello 8 Significantly 9 Take from the top?

10 Nut seen on the back of a dime 11 ____ chi ch’uan (martial art) 12 Liven (up) 13 Billionaire Blavatnik 14 Recites, as a spell 15 Sight from Catania, in brief 16 Frontman whom People magazine once named “sexiest rock star” 17 “Methinks … ” 18 Matches 21 Co. that might hire influencers 24 Radiation units 29 TV show with the theme song “Won’t Get Fooled Again” 33 Sch. whose mascot is Brutus Buckeye 34 Suffers (from) 36 1887 Chekhov play 37 Spots at the card table 38 “____ bit confused” 41 Director von Trier 42 Gush 43 Hairstyle that calls for a lot of spray 45 Do some prescheduling 46 Ending with “umich.”

48 Black birds 49 Actor Noah of “ER” 51 Prophet believed to be buried in the Cave of the Patriarchs 52 Eye luridly 53 Foreign language seen on U.S. money

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A W E E B I T

1 Half of a 1960s folk-rock group 6 Action 12 Car thief ’s tool 19 Govt.-backed investment 20 Another name for the cornflower 22 Vacuum tube with five active components 23 What the church’s music director wanted to do?

25 Stick in a church 26 Difficult problem 27 “I’m With ____” (2016 campaign slogan) 28 Broadband overseer, for short 30 Up 31 Nasty words 32 Truism about unwanted sound?

35 Dull 39 Indian term of address 40 Call ____ early night 41 Sch. on the Mississippi River 44 Robustness 45 Pounds 47 Chatter 50 Greatly dismay one of the Beatles?

55 Picture cards 56 Carousel figure 57 Staple in Creole cooking 58 West Indies city that’s home to Lynden Pindling International Airport 61 Classic Halloween costume 62 Affirmed under oath 63 Literary character whose house is uprooted by a tornado 64 Shade similar to claret 65 Times when your archenemy shows up?

68 Decorative throw 71 Quaint giggle 72 In a daze 76 Native of Hrvatska, e.g.

77 One of the Ramones 78 Dipped in egg and bread crumbs, then fried 79 Consider 80 Unimpressive brain size 81 What the antigovernment activist does?

83 Acct. holdings 84 Setting of a 1903 Victor Herbert operetta 87 Spanish letter with a tilde 88 Little kid

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I C F O A I L E L I T A O O B U L I C R V O D E N A C W A T E V I N E S T H T O O R T R E R T A E Y

Across

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U T A H

No. 0329

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L E T M E T R Y

BY BRENDAN EMMETT QUIGLEY / EDITED BYWILL SHORTZ

1

A G U I L E R A

BRING YOUR ‘A’ GAME

89 ____ doble (dance) 91 What’s not a good fit?

92 Halloween haul 96 “Aye” or “Oui”?

100 Anne of fashion 103 Pertaining to the lowest possible level 104 Rep.’s opponent 105 One of the N.H.L.’s original six teams: Abbr.

107 Scholarly 109 Facing a judge 111 Geronimo, when his beard was just coming in?

114 Former Indianapolis arena 115 Didn’t go out 116 America’s foe in an 1898 war 117 Noted satellite of 1962 118 Some green sauces 119 Very small

S A D T A L E S

The New York Times Magazine Crossword

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e h t n Joi

t s i l l i a LEO em

s, t r e c n o c to s y a w a e iv g t e k c i T ls!

• a v i t s e f plays & e h t l l a h t wi r e t t e l s ew n y l k s! e e i e r o t •W s d n a s w e n t ! d lates n e k e e w y r e v e ” o D o T s g n i Th 5 p o T “ r • Ou letter

s w e n / m o c . y l k e e leow

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON

ETC.

SAVAGE LOVE

By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage

OPEN AND SHUT

Q: My husband and I got married in August of 2019 and we were together for over five years before getting married. I’m very happy and love him with all my heart. I want to have his kids and support his entrepreneurial efforts as he supports mine. We don’t fight, we just have some tiffs here and there. The kicker is that I have a tough time feeling him during sex and he doesn’t last as long as I would like him to. We’re adventurous enough to try different things, i.e. toys and different positions, but I find myself sexually unfulfilled. He also isn’t very willing/interested in going down on me, in fact he has not once gone down on me. I’m also finding myself attracted to and fantasizing about other men. In addition to being honest with my husband, I don’t know what the solution is. I’m not opposed opening up a marriage but I worry that I’m just being selfish and that it’s too soon to try or even discuss it at any length. I did bring up a crush I have on a coworker and my husband said, “There’s nothing wrong with having a snack.” What did he mean by that? Do you have any other insights or suggestions on what to do?

Married Not Dead P.S. I hope you, your family, and your friends are holding up ok during this pandemic. It’s a scary time so I hope you’re all ok.

A: I shared your letter with Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.

Through her books, lectures, and podcasts (“Sex Out Loud Radio”), Taormino has helped countless couples navigate the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy.

But before we dive into the specifics of your situation, MND, there’s something Taormino and I want to make clear to all.

“In this time of a global pandemic, thinking and talking about non-monogamy is all you can do right now,” said Taormino.

“This goes for everyone: no new sex partners until public health experts say we can go back to standing closer than six feet apart.

Even then, we’re going to have to proceed with caution.”

Listen up, people: the woman who literally wrote the book on open relationships says open and poly relationships are cancelled for the time being. “Yup, cancelled,” said Taormino, “unless every one of your partners lives with you.”

While COVID-19 isn’t classified as a sexually transmitted infection (STI), having sex with someone who has coronavirus would almost certainly result in transmis-

sion. And since people who get infected typically don’t show symptoms for up to two weeks, the fact that someone appears to be healthy doesn’t mean they are corona-free.

Someone can look and feel great and be both infected and infectious. So for the time being we should only be having sex with a sex partner we live with. If you have more than one sex partner and you’re all staying in the same place, great! Poly isn’t cancelled for you and your partners. But we shouldn’t be hooking up with new partners in person or going to see established partners we don’t live with. That goes double for meeting up with non-cohabitating partners who have other partners and whose other partners have other partners of their own. But the good news is that sext messages and dirty video chats are both allowed and encouraged, kids, so we can get off online with new people as well as established partners who live on the other side of town or the other side of the world. Hell, get the whole polycule together on Zoom—just don’t actually get together (or get under) anyone you don’t live with.

Okay! With that out of the way, MND, we’re going to answer your question. But bear in mind that some of our advice—our advice about opening up your marriage— won’t be fully actionable until after COVID19 is brought under control.

“I’m glad MND is being honest with her husband about her desires, but let’s take that further with even more specific talk about what’s missing in her sex life,” said Taormino. “In her letter, I heard: pussyeating, intense enough sensation from intercourse, and longer sex sessions. I’ll translate that: she’s missing pleasure, reciprocation, and orgasms for her. She is NOT being selfish for wanting these things. They are pretty fundamental aspects of a sexual relationship, and she needs to address them with her husband first.”

Backing way the hell up: assuming you knew about my column five years ago, MND, it’s telling you didn’t ask for my advice back when you realized your new boyfriend was never going to eat your pussy.

(Spoiler: I would’ve told you to dump him.)

Since you chose not to break up with your boyfriend over the lack cunnilingus back then and you don’t want to divorce your husband over it now, MND, it would seem that going without oral—at least going without at home—is the price of admission you’re willing to pay to be with this guy.

As for your other issues about your

sex life with your husband—you don’t “feel him” during penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse and it’s over too quickly—the right toys could certainly help. But if your husband ruled out penetration toys that were bigger than his cock, MND, or if you didn’t order any that were bigger than his cock to avoid hurting his feelings, you’re gonna have to broach the subject of buying some larger toys, MND, ones you can really feel.

And since experimenting with new positions didn’t help your husband last longer, you should try alternating between toys and his cock during PIV, which will make both the sex (and the husband) last longer.

“If MND’s husband is really in this relationship, he should be open and willing to give most anything a try,” said Taormino. “MND really needs to see that he’s as interested in her pleasure and satisfaction as he is in his own. And if there’s something she wants to try or something that really turns her on and gets her off that her husband doesn’t know about, now is the time to share the juicy details.”

As for opening up the relationship, MND, I wouldn’t advise most people to initiate that convo at this moment. Because if the conversation goes badly—and they often do at first—that could mean sheltering in place with an angry person. But based on your husband’s reaction when you confessed having a crush on a coworker, MND, I think you could risk discussing opening up while you’re locked down. Your husband didn’t say there was nothing wrong with fantasizing about a snack, MND, he said there’s nothing wrong with having a snack. Make no mistake: that’s not a green light to immediately outsource getting your pussy eaten. But his calm, matter-of-fact reaction when you confided in him about your crush is good sign.

But first things first: you need to work with your husband on improving your sex life at home and you should have a convo about that—and a convo about ordering some new sex toys—before you make plans to open up the relationship and start getting your pussy eaten elsewhere.

“Exploring non-monogamy is one way to address sexual incompatibilities and expand our capacity for love and intimacy,” said Taormino. “But the stuff between the two of them needs to gets talked about first. Otherwise, you’re glossing over the issues with something new and shiny.”

Follow Tristan Taormino on Twitter @ TristanTaormino.

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Listen to the Savage Lovecast every week at www.savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage www.savagelovecast.com LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 1, 2020

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