LEO Weekly April 29, 2020

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ALSO: McConnell To Kentucky — Drop Dead! PAGE 8 Derby Fantasy PAGE 3 Rumors: The ‘Infodemic’ Of Coronavirus PAGE 12 Would Living In New Amazonia Be Better? PAGE 4 7 Albums For The Quarantine PAGE 22 Bartender Makeovers For After Corona PAGE 23 LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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I’m pretty weary of Christians wailing about their persecution and violated rights. When there is a pandemic being spread, and being spread by asymptomatic people, you STAY HOME. Gathering in groups is not a requirement to serving whatever God you worship. This isn’t the Stone Age. Set up a Venmo for your collection plate & live stream your service. It’s really time to get Christianity out of politics. —Lisa Schmid Maybe if we had a local paper who introduced scientific facts about evolution and biology that might fight the ignorance of the left and the right. Stop with the separation of people with different evolutionary traits and teach we are all the same instead that we are all special. The human ego and mythology will be the death of all life on this planet. —Dillard Logsdon

DESIGN BY TALON HAMPTON

ON: RICKY L. JONES, RACE, REPARATIONS AND THE ALLEGORY OF THE ROACH

LOUISVILLE ECCENTRIC OBSERVER

ON: THORNS AND ROSES, MATT BEVIN DENIES CHEATING ON WIFE, IMPREGNATING FORMER STAFFER

Volume 30 | Number 23 735 E. MAIN ST., LOUISVILLE, KY 40202 PHONE (502) 895-9770 FAX (502) 895-9779 FOUNDER

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Wow. This hit the nail right on the head. —Velma Henderson

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Why would even one woman sleep with him... much less two or more? And to not use at least five levels of protection? To not absolutely ensure that man’s DNA doesn’t spread any more?

—ZoeyJakeFrankie @jake_zoey

ON: FORMER TRADER JOE’S WORKER SUES ON CORONAVIRUS SAFETY CLAIMS

A King in name and deed. Hell yeah! But as for the topic of unionization, it seems that had the chain not resisted unionization, the response to the virus would have been quicker. Makes you think.

— Kyle Riley

Megan Campbell Smith: distribution@leoweekly.com

MANAGER OF BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT / RED PIN TIX

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Jo Anne Triplett, jtriplettart@yahoo.com

He is not alone and they are one of many stores that frowned on employees wearing gloves, masks, etc. I’ve heard it from loved ones across the country at very large food stores. It’s ridiculous.

Right now most of the stores are just now providing masks to employees but they are considered optional. This should be a requirement for all employees considering people can be asymptomatic for weeks. —Brooke Montgomery

ON: JOHN YARMUTH, EVEN BERNIE HAS ENDORSED JOE LEO Weekly is published weekly by LEO Weekly LLC. Copyright LEO Weekly LLC. All rights reserved. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the Publisher. LEO Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express permission of LEO Weekly LLC. LEO Weekly may be distributed only by authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO) is a trademark of LEO Weekly LLC.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

Oh, you’re a Biden fan? Name three complete sentences he’s managed to form. —Chris Roberts

VIEWS

EDITOR’S NOTE

DERBY FANTASY

By John Yarmuth | leo@leoweekly.com [Ed. note: Given that the 146th Kentucky Derby will be just a fantasy on the first Saturday of May this year, we offer U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth’s fantastical vision for the Run for the Roses from 2000 when he was LEO’s editor and owner.]

(The following short story contains the names of 23 possible Kentucky Derby entrants. One of them is the winner.)

SITUATION ROOM, The White House, Washington D.C. “Mr. President, the situation is critical. We are on the verge of war.”

The speaker was Graeme Hall, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He stood next to a huge map of Asia, laser pointer in hand, looking as serious as the crisis team had ever seen him.

“If I may direct your attention to this map of China, the shaded area is the location of the Chinese army’s largest battalion. The heavily unshaded area represents the Japanese invasion force — 500,000 Toyota Land Cruisers, and every tenth one is armed with a high-yield nuclear weapon,” Hall said.

“Wait a minute,” President Clinton said.

“How the hell did a half million SUVs get from

Japan into China? Just snuck in?”

“Of course not,” interrupted Admiral Harold Ronton of the U.S. Navy. “The vehicles were already there. They were shipped prior to the deputy finance minister’s China visit last month.”

“Deputy warlock, you mean, Hal,” The president interjected. “He’s been killing everybody since the exchange rate went their way.”

“Mr. President, you’ve been reading too much Harry Potter. Warlock may be a bit strong. The Japanese have shown incredible aptitude for trade coups,” the admiral replied. “Next to us, no country’s been able to globalize their economies as well as the Japanese.”

The President stopped to consider the crisis. It was clear the Japanese were massed for a major military initiative. They had always been more than ready to strike at their huge neighbor to the west, but there was no way such a small country could control such a large one for very long.

“OK, what in the world are we supposed to do here?” the President began. “Obviously this isn’t a situation for military intervention. Maybe we can just wait for them to run out of gas. You know, those Land Cruisers only get about 12 miles a gallon.”

“That’s Hal’s hope, isn’t it Hal?” The speaker was the CIA director, who had been silent up to this point in the discussion.

“We’re certainly in observation mode right now,” the Navy chief said. “But even if they run out of gas, that doesn’t solve the problem of 50,000 bombs in China. Our best reconnaissance pilot, Captain Steve, is at 60,000 feet right now. He’s on the horn if we want a report.”

“Isn’t he a nephew of the vice president?”

Clinton asked.

“Anees,” came the reply. “You know the veep’s family are big fans of Stevie Nicks. She was named after her.”

“Commendable,” the President replied. “I wanted to name our daughter Elvis, but you know Hillary.”

No one said a word, and the President drifted off. He had had a few drinks before he was summoned to this emergency meeting, and his attention span was somewhat impaired. “Doggone-it,” he thought, “Here I am only a few months from being out of here, and I get this situation. How I’d love to hop into my big camper, the Harlan Traveler, wheelaway from this damn place and go cruising through the Ozarks with my golf clubs and cigars. As if impeachment wasn’t enough, I have to deal with some auto invasion.”

His revelry was interrupted by the CIA director. “Mr. President, I think we ought to hear if Steve has anything of interest to tell us.”

“Oh, awright,” said the Commander-in-Chief.

“I guess we’re paying a lot to have her up there.

Put her on the ssspeaker.” His speech was begin-

ning to slur. “Hey, Cap’n. Seen anythin, interesting on your little trippi?” He giggled a bit at his own condition.

The pilot’s voice was as clear as if she had been in the room. “I think so, Mr. President,” she said, ignoring the condescension. “I was able to tap into the Japanese radio network through their lead aircraft in their air cover, the Fusaichi Pegasus.” [Ed. note: Here’s your winner.]

“What’s fusaichi mean?” President Clinton asked, seriously butchering the pronunciation.

“Some kind of war chant?”

“I’m not allowed to say, sir,” came the reply from the speaker. “It’s a rule.”

“Curule?” said the President, sounding sleepy. “What kind of rule is that?”

Again there was silence in the room. The President looked confused, but it was clear he would not let this pass. Finally General Hall asked if he could speak to the commander-inchief in private, and the two moved to a corner of the room.

“It was my rule, Mr. President. I was trying to keep you in the dark on that.”

“Well I don’t want to be in the dark. I want to know what fussich means.”

“It’s fusaichi, Mr. President. Foo-sa-itchi.”

“Whatever. What’s it mean?”

The General took a deep breath. “Cigar sex,” he whispered.

The President mentally weighed the concept.

Then he smiled. “Cool,” he said wistfully. “Very cool.”

Not to be continued … •

UNDERCOVER

MANOFMETTLE.COM LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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VIEWS

THE MIDWESTERNIST

HOW COULD LIVING IN NEW AMAZONIA BE WORSE THAN LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES?

By Dan Canon | leo@leoweekly.com be less ghastly than the average res publica.

MY STIMULUS CHECK is gone. Despite But if I had infinite space in this column, I the prediction by Treasury Secretary/ could tell you some stories about America, second-string-Austin-Powers villain Steven too. Suffice it to say: The U.S. is also a bad Mnuchin that a $1,200 payment would corporate citizen. The federal government’s carry us through 10 weeks (10 weeks!) of not-delightfully LARPing the “Book incompetent response of Revelations,” mine And as between to COVID-19 underwas burned up in a few hours. these two, which is scores the point. Why shouldn’t we be in Don’t fret; all more harmful: the the market for a new the money went to a good cause. I state that deposes sovereign?

There could be spent it on products hidden advantages to sold by Amazon dot democratically being wholly owned com. What kinds of elected heads of by a single megacorproducts? It doesn’t too. On the matter. What matters state to make way poration, blood-soaked hamster is that the money went to Amazon and for violent, fascist wheel that is America, we’ve outlived therefore toward what dictators? The one our usefulness when I hope will be the we can’t sell our nation-state of New that indiscrimilabor anymore. But Amazonia. nately rains bombs in New Amazonia, Incidentally, in we’d be useful to the 1889, a delightfully on civilian children ruling class as long pretentious British as we can consume suffragette named and foreign dignimedia, pantry items, Elizabeth Burgoyne taries alike? The gift cards and so Corbett published a on. I don’t mind the delightfully awful one that allows thought of spending science fiction my final days writing novel called “New its citizens to go cantankerous reviews Amazonia.” In it, the bankrupt/die for of Pokémon cards narrator smokes hashor whatever widget ish, which naturally the high crime of I’ve decided to have transports her to delivered in minutes 25th century Ireland. getting sick? to my doorstep. Beats There, as a direct working. And I have result of universal to think that New suffrage, a race of Amazonia would be wildly inclusive, welgiant, perfect women rule over what is then coming immigrants, Muslims, trans folks, called — you guessed it — New Amazonia.

Duke fans, political dissidents or anyone An elder stateswoman explains: “Health of else, so long as they did plenty of online body, the highest technical and intellectual shopping. You’re a convicted sex offender? knowledge and purity of morals has ever Well look, you’re going to have to watch been the goal aimed at in New Amazonia “Guava Island” twice and give it a five-star and it can to-day boast of being the most rating, but then you’re in. Fall in line early, I perfect, the most prosperous and the most say. As a member of the Founding Patriot™ moral community in existence.” program, I’m hoping for a top position in the I do not expect this sort of utopia out of Whole Foods™ Cabinet, or the Department the New Amazonia that my stimulus check of FanFic Management™. went to help fund. Amazon tends to be a bad Laugh now, but a government run by corporate citizen, and there’s no reason to think that an Amazon-run government would a private, for-profit corporation is not that

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

far fetched, even within the United States.

The Walt Disney Co., for example, owns a sizable municipality in Florida; one that can make its own laws, sell bonds and everything else a city can do. Just imagine: If Disney up and decided to conquer Orlando (or hell, all of Florida), how do you think that would work out? Who would win?

My money’s on the mouse and his ruthless squad of costumed dancer-assassins.

The federal government won’t give up the ship without a fight, of course. We defectors to New Amazonia will need to be ready to get on our couches and fight. We’ll have box after box of ammunition delivered in 24 hours or less, around-the-clock drone protection for Prime members and low-cost 3D printers to make the guns of the revolution.

Put ‘em in your cart or use one-click buy if you need ‘em in a hurry. Ask Alexa (nicely) to keep an ear out for spies. If your blast shield doesn’t work, just drop it off at Kohl’s within 30 days, no questions asked. Your military successes will be awarded not with useless uniform decorations, but with points that you can exchange for merchandise that gives meaning to your existence.

Then again, the New Amazonian revolution may end up a bloodless, conciliatory whimper.

When Amazon was looking for a spot for its second headquarters, cities lined up to give them billions of dollars in incentives, employees paid for with public funds, dedicated subway cars and more. A Georgia county offered them land to build “Amazon City,” and Fresno offered to give the corporation joint control of 85% of all the city’s tax revenue.

Save for a handful of idealistic psychopaths, it seems nobody really wants to drive this rickety carriage we’re in. It’s just a small matter of the invisible hand handing the reins to a driver who will mostly keep us on the road.

Like every American worth their salt, I relish the opportunity to select the lesser of

F C

By

DE two evils. And as between these two, which me is more harmful: the state that deposes dem- Be ocratically elected heads of state to make han way for violent, fascist dictators? The one ma that indiscriminately rains bombs on civilian wh children and foreign dignitaries alike? The in one that allows its citizens to go bankrupt/ die for the high crime of getting sick? The alle one that locks up more people in cages Be for more things than any society in human Ke history? The one that steadfastly refuses wh to guarantee vacation time, sick leave or Cla parental leave despite being far, far behind com the rest of the civilized world by every or conceivable metric? Or the proto-state that or wants you to lie around all day binge watch- dam ing “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” while law you order mountains of shit you don’t need? ter (You know who you are and I know you’re reading this. Honestly, another fucking stand me mixer? Where are you going to put that?)

On I can see a future beyond the pandemic; tha one where we work from our prefabricated hea homes, all of which have the same purple, on thatched roof and the same toothpaste-green swimming pools; where we all get the same don news from The Washarr ington Post, delivered gar in Alexa’s calming monotone, before settling wit into hours of preselected bac programming on our Fire TV Sticks; where we read Ke bef to a new generation of consumers by the warm, Go blue-light-free glow of las a gently used Kindle. It he sounds so uncomplicated, rie som so predictable and so freeing. Mrs. Corbett’s Go observation in New Ama- In zonia is as pertinent now ele as it was in the nineteenth con century: “independence dec is a dreadful bugbear, ma which every lady ought to shun as she wouldres shun a mad dog or a leper.” Hail, hail, New ini Amazonia! • tes tha Dan Canon is a civil rights lawyer and the law professor. “Midwesticism”is his short- ties documentary series about Midwesterners 189 who are making the world a better place.

Re Watch it at: patreon.com/dancanon.

Wi S.

VIEWS

FOR LAWYER ACCUSED OF THREATENING GOV. ANDY CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING

By JoAnne Sweeny | leo@leoweekly.com DESPITE THE OUTPOURING of love and memes for Kentucky’s new governor, Andy Beshear, not everyone is happy with his handling of the COVID-19 epidemic. One malcontent is local attorney Greg Troutman whose Facebook commentary landed him in jail.

Troutman was arrested last week for allegedly making “terroristic threats” against Beshear. “Terroristic threats” are defined in Kentucky Revised Statute section 508.080, which states that someone is guilty of a Class A misdemeanor if they threaten “to commit any crime likely to result in death or serious physical injury to another person or likely to result in substantial property damage to another person.” Under Kentucky law, a Class A misdemeanor carries a jail term of up to 12 months.

Troutman was arrested for two statements he allegedly made on social media.

One, authorities said, was a Facebook post that stated: “Maybe some should ask Beshear in a press conference about his thoughts on William Goebel. For those of you who don’t know the history...it’s a good read...”

Not to agree with someone who shot an arrow from a crossbow into his neighbor’s garage, but it is a good read. Please stick with me for the following detour. We’ll get back to Troutman in a minute.

Goebel was the governor of Kentucky who was shot the day before he took office in 1899.

Goebel’s tenure as governor lasted three days, after which he succumbed to his injuries. There actually are some parallels between Goebel and Beshear.

In both cases, the elections were highly contested and were decided by a small margin, and the results were initially contested. But that is where the similarities end. In 1899, Republican William S. Taylor,

won by 2,000 votes and despite the Democrats’ objections, he was inaugurated.

The matter was still under debate when Goebel was shot as he walked in front of the Old State Capitol building in Frankfort. In response, Gov. Taylor called a state of emergency, brought in the militia and adjourned the legislature for a week. Despite these orders, Democrats met in secret and invalidated enough votes to declare Goebel the actual winner. Goebel was then sworn in and, as his only act as governor, he invalidated Taylor’s orders and called the legislature to assemble.

It’s a very interesting story, but Troutman clearly wanted more than to alert his readers to an enjoyable story about a murder. In any event, I get my enjoyable stories about murder in podcast form only.

Troutman’s second statement, authorities said, was part of an exchange on Facebook where Troutman allegedly stated: “With any luck the Gov will be the one at whom the shooting will be directed.”

If you’re counting at home, that’s two references to shooting at Beshear, one more oblique than the other. According to the Louisville Metro Police Department, these statements evidenced an intent to cause serious bodily injury to Beshear and so, they arrested him.

And they may have a point.

The Kentucky Court of Appeals has held that, although “jesting” does not satisfy the statute, the statute is satisfied by words that the speaker knew were “in the form of” and “would naturally be understood by the hearers” as a threat.

There may be room in Troutman’s innuendo to find a threat.

“But what about the First Amendment?” you (and Troutman’s lawyer) ask.

According to the Supreme Court, “true threats” are not protected by the First Amendment. Under the seminal case Virginia v.

Black, the Supreme Court defined truth threats as “those statements where the speaker means to communicate a serious expression of an intent to commit an act of unlaw-

at the statements themselves and the circumful violence to a particular individual or stances surrounding them. group of individuals.” Under this definition, Troutman’s alleged statements on social the speaker need not actually intend to carry out the threat because true threats are promedia could simply be dark humor, but they hibited to protect “individuals from the fear also sound a lot like some of the threats of violence” as well as “from the possibility that were bandied about by the organizers that the threatened of Unite the Right violence will before the rally that Troutman’s alleged occur.” A more ended the life of recent Supreme Heather Heyer. statements don’t Court case, Elonis Similar jokes look like a threat, v. United States, have landed high adds a requireschool kids in at least not a direct ment that, in order jail or alternative to be convicted schools. In the wake one. He isn’t even of committing a of Columbine and talking to Beshear, threat, there must numerous school be some kind of shootings that have and he doesn’t say intent to issue a followed, such statethreat or “knowlments are suddenly he intends to harm edge that the taken very seriously. him. So, are his state- (Side note: Due to communication will be viewed as COVID-19, March ments — a refera threat.” Elonis 2020 was the first also opens the March without a ence to an assassipossibility that school shooting nated governor and recklessness could since 2002.) Shootbe enough to ings at political a vague suggestion satisfy this intent events are also not requirement. that someone might unheard of. Just ask So where does Gabby Giffords. shoot Beshear at an that leave us?

Or even William Troutman’s upcoming press con- Goebel. alleged statements With the current ference — enough to state closures and don’t look like a threat, at least not resulting protests, satisfy Kentucky’s a direct one. He not to mention the isn’t even talking general background criminal statute and to Beshear, and of anxiety regardthe First Amendment? ing COVID-19, he doesn’t say he intends to harm these are tense times him. So, are his when “jokes” about statements — a reference to an assassiviolence, especially repeated ones, might nated governor and a vague suggestion that reasonably carry greater weight. someone might shoot Beshear at an upcomAs with most things, context will likely ing press conference — enough to satisfy be key to understanding what Troutman Kentucky’s criminal statute and the First intended or knew about how his statements Amendment? would be taken by Beshear.

Certainly, the Supreme Court has never And, unfortunately for Troutman, context required that a threat be direct and unequivis something that may be left for a jury to ocal. Virginia v. Black itself found that decide. • burning a cross was a true threat, partially because of what cross burning has meant Dr. JoAnne Sweeny is a UofL law historically. Similarly, to find intent under professor.

KRS section 508.080, Kentucky courts look LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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VIEWS

WHAT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WON’T SAY ABOUT TRUMP

By John Yarmuth | leo@leoweekly.com BANDY X. LEE is not Chicken Little, but you couldn’t blame her for feeling as if she were.

For the last three years, she has been trying to tell anyone who would listen and those who wouldn’t that Donald Trump presents an imminent danger to the American people.

Unlike Chicken Little, who did not have academic credentials in astronomy or climatology, Lee is eminently qualified to assess that Trump is truly the sky that is falling.

Dr. Lee is professor of psychiatry at Yale University. For more than 25 years she has specialized in the psychology of violence and is internationally recognized in her field.

In 2017, she edited the book “The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump,” in which she and 25 other prominent mental health experts discussed why they considered Trump a hazard to the country’s collective health. She also heads a group of nearly 5,000 experts who agree with the book’s conclusions.

Unfortunately, but somewhat understandably, she has had a miserable time getting people to pay attention. This is truly tragic, because if we have a (pick your politically incorrect synonym for nut) in the White House, especially during a national crisis, the threat to the country is indeed enormous.

I would argue that’s exactly where we are right now.

Dr. Lee visited me in Washington about two years ago. She was trying to alert members of Congress to her concerns. She described all of the symptoms manifest by Trump and she ominously predicted that

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

the pattern she observed in the President’s behavior “…always gets worse. It never gets better.”

She also told me that she was being blackballed by mainstream media, who would not air her concerns because of the American Psychiatric Association’s “Goldwater Rule,” which says it is unethical for psychiatrists to give a professional opinion on a public figure’s mental state unless they have personally treated them. Lee and her colleagues respond that they are not diagnosing Trump; rather, when they recognize patterns of dangerous behavior, they have a professional responsibility to alert those who are threatened, in this case the American public.

It doesn’t take a mental health professional to recognize that Donald Trump’s behavior is not normal. His incredible narcissism, his insecurity, his paranoia, his pathological mendacity and his obsession with President Obama are just a few of the mental health abnormalities on display every day. Remember, this isn’t just the person who last week suggested that people ingest disinfectants to combat coronavirus. It’s also the person who thought about using nuclear weapons to stop hurricanes and who said that windmills cause cancer.

Over the last few years, Lee has often been scheduled for TV appearances, always to be canceled by network executives. Mainstream newspapers will not use her work or her name. Every so often a news site or specialty publication will discuss Lee’s work,

but for the vast majority of Americans, she is unknown.

She will not be unknown forever, however.

I acknowledge that it is a tough call for editors, print and broadcast, to produce stories on the mental health of the president.

The pushback from Trump fans would be fierce and loud, and there would be the inevitable “balancing” of experts that would only confuse the audience.

Opinion writers are not having the same problem.

Many, if not most, prominent national columnists, including many conservatives, have publicly questioned Trump’s mental condition.

Many of my Democratic colleagues, and, of course, I include myself, have not held back in questioning Trump’s mental state. (My Republican colleagues not so much — like never.)

But virtually no investigative journalism has been dedicated to this most important national issue.

It’s time for this to stop.

Bandy Lee and her professional colleagues deserve to be heard and their views need to be analyzed, dissected and critiqued. But they must not be ignored. Remember, there

is virtually no one outside of the West Wing saying Donald Trump is a “stable” genius, or even a “stable” ignoramus. Nobody with expertise is claiming he is stable, and the American people, facing a critical decision as to whether to keep him in office for four more years, deserve and need a discussion as to whether he is mentally fit to lead the country. • U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, founder of LEO, has represented Kentucky’s 3rd Congressional District since 2007 and is now chairman of the House Budget Committee.

VIEWS

GOV. ANDY BESHEAR IS SHOWING WHAT HE’S MADE OF: IT’S STERNER STUFF THAN YOU THOUGHT

By Al Cross | leo@leoweekly.com IN A CRISIS that could be a catastrophe for and wouldn’t (at least right now, perhaps) negotiate the agenda, which governors set. millions of Americans, politics may seem Legislators decide the length of special irrelevant. But politics probably made the sessions. coronavirus crisis worse, and yet it could “I’m done with politics,” Beshear said prevent catastrophe for many. And crises can repeatedly, noting that he’s making unpopuchange politicians, and reveal things about lar decisions. But he doth protest too much. them, so this space will keep tabs on those His stance serves Democratic purposes in we have chosen to lead us; if that isn’t your a legislature where Republicans can pass cup of tea right now, please move on. what they want and probably override most First, the good news. In our federal gubernatorial vetoes. Still, GOP leaders republic, the primary responsibility for tempered their public health criticism, surely lies with the To be sure, Andrew knowing that states, and most voters are Kentucky Gov. Beshear is no Andrew with the chief Andy Beshear executive in a Cuomo. The New York has clearly time of crisis. measured up. governor’s morning To be Beshear was attorney general press conferences have sure, Andrew Beshear is for four years a frank, bracing air that no Andrew and ran a winThe ning gubernatofits the national moment, Cuomo.

New York rial campaign governor’s months ago, especially from the morning press but his political American hot zone of the conferences career was built a frank, on his father’s pandemic. But Cuomo’s have bracing air that name recognifits the national tion and the urban growl wouldn’t moment, blunderbussery work here. especially from of the governor the American who served hot zone of between them. the pandemic. But Cuomo’s urban growl Now we have a better idea what Beshear is wouldn’t work here. Beshear is mostly softmade of, and it’s sterner stuff than you may spoken, careful, methodical and repetitive, have thought. all of which is probably reassuring in a state He told churches, in a deeply religious where the fractionalization of media markets state, not to have services. He closed makes most Kentuckians unaccustomed schools, bars, restaurants, day-care cento frequent, extended observation of our ters, hair salons, bingo halls and more. He governors. delayed the primary election by five weeks.

What really comes across is his earnestAll this was to slow the spread of the virus ness. He often refers to his children, and and keep the disease it causes from oversometimes he sounds like his whole audiwhelming the healthcare system. When he ence is children, without talking down to asked hospitals and doctors to stop elective us. That’s a valuable skill in this situation surgeries and they sought exceptions, he – especially in a state where the population threatened to make it mandatory. has probably been more skeptical of warnThe Democratic governor also got stern ings about the virus, largely because of its with the General Assembly, telling its allegiance to the man who for too long was Republican leaders that he wouldn’t call an the chief skeptic. open-ended special session to take care of Much has been written about how Presibusiness left hanging if they adjourned early

dent Trump mismanaged the crisis, and most of it has been accurate. As the testing system floundered, the only big step he took was to ban flights from China, and by that time the virus had already spread around the world.

As more than one expert has said, for too long the president treated the threat as a public-relations problem more than a public-health problem. His weeks of public skepticism and downplaying the threat, in an apparent effort to protect the stock market, was an almost criminally irresponsible performance that will probably result in more deaths, if it hasn’t already.

Trump’s tone changed this week but still isn’t right. Ever the salesman, he kept veering into PR in his appearances, bragging about his accomplishments, some of them largely irrelevant; using overly optimistic forecasts, adjectives and adverbs; and rambling into many tangents about a topic that needs clear, serious focus from the top.

His declaration that he is in “wartime presidency” showed how political and egotistical his thinking is. Look for the TV ads soon. But as one of his most trenchant critics, Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank, said, he’s the only president we have right now, so let’s pray for him.

Speaking of TV ads, why is Democratic challenger Amy McGrath attacking U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell right now? Does she need to keep contributions coming in?

Does she fear the absence of ads will let her more liberal, poorly funded challengers gain traction and embarrass her in the June 23 primary? Is she trying to capitalize on increased concern about crisis management

by Trump, to whom McConnell has joined himself at the hip because he’s less popular than the president? (She doesn’t dare criticize Trump, at least yet.) Whatever the reasons, it’s not a good look. • Al Cross is a former Courier Journal political writer and is professor and director of the Institute for Rural Journalism and Community Issues at UK. He writes this column for the Kentucky Center for Public Service Journalism. Reach him @ruralj.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

MCCONNELL TO KENTUCKY: DROP DEAD… OR WHY A STEAKHOUSE GETS A BAILOUT BUT YOU WON’T

By Keith Stone | kstone@leoweekly.com YOU’D HAVE TO BE STUPID to tell your home state in an election year that it can drop dead.

That is essentially what U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell has done.

He told conservative radio talk show bloviator and user, the notoriously loopy Hugh Hewitt, that he would rather force Kentucky and other states to declare bankruptcy than help them out with federal dollars.

He would rather they default than preserve services and prevent even more public employee layoffs and furloughs.

“Yeah, I would certainly be in favor of allowing states to use the bankruptcy route. It saves some cities.

And there’s no good reason for it not to be available. My guess is their first choice would be for the federal government to borrow money from future generations to send it down to them now so they don’t have to do that.

That’s not something I’m going to be in favor of,” he said.

Sure, it may be OK for Ruth’s Chris Steak House to get a $20 million bailout (which is says it will pay back), and also the 71 publicly traded companies that received $300 million of emergency payroll loans, Forbes reported.

But you and your whiny state?

Off to bankruptcy court, you freeloaders!

To understand how bad declaring bankruptcy would be, consider that the last state to do so (forced to restructure its debt), was Arkansas during the Great Depression.

And, infamously, New York City nearly did it in the mid-1970s, a daily drama crescendoing in 1975 when President Gerald Ford denied federal help initially — provoking the famous New York Daily News headline: “Ford to City: Drop Dead.”

Ford didn’t actually use those words, as McConnell did not either, but the intent was clear.

Ford said: “What I cannot understand—and what nobody should condone—is the blatant attempt in

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THORNS & ROSES THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD ABSURD: BLIMEY! PROTESTERS ARE PRATS!

Protesters returned to Frankfort last week but not to harass Gov. Andy, at least not directly. If you could believe one speaker, they were there to exhort “David Cameron” to stop the good governor from trying to save lives. What they likely meant was Republican Attorney General Daniel Cameron. Unless they meant the former British prime minister by that name.

THORN: DEFENSE A SHOT IN THE DARK

some quarters to frighten the American people and their representatives in Congress into panicky support of patently bad policy. The people of this country will not be stampeded; they will not panic when a few desperate New York City officials and bankers try to scare New York’s mortgage payments out of them.”

Similarly, McConnell is blaming the states for their financial peril, not a virus that has shut down the world’s economy: “You know, we’ll certainly insist that anything we’d borrow to send down to the states is not spent on solving problems that they created for themselves over the years with their pension programs.”

We think he may need new glasses.

Certainly, Kentucky Democrats (largely) and Republicans were complicit in causing and not solving the state’s public pensions problems.

Is this really about pensions? Republicans notoriously hate unions, public or otherwise, and a bankruptcy, if allowed, would work to bust them.

But maybe it is just about politics.

His office released a statement that described any help as “Blue State Bailouts.”

U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, founder of LEO, accused McConnell of provoking

“a war against the states.”

“The greatest internal crisis our country has ever known was a war between the states. Now, it seems, Senator McConnell intends to rival that with a war against the states. The deeply cynical suggestion that we let states go bankrupt is hardly an assault on blue states alone, as McConnell would have us believe. Make no mistake, this is an attack on Kentucky and Kentuckians by our own senior senator.

“Bankruptcy would have devastating consequences on the very people we’ve asked to fight on the front lines of this crisis — police, firefighters, public health workers. And it doesn’t stop there. Every Kentuckian would quickly notice that local governments would not have funds to police the streets, pick up garbage, or respond to emergencies. Pensions would be slashed, if not eliminated for government employees, including public school teachers. Pensions they depend on, pensions they’ve earned,” he said in a statement.

On Wednesday when asked about McConnell’s threat, the typically measured and restrained Gov. Andy said: “I will say every state in the country is going to be in desperate need of federal aid. If the federal government does not provide that aid, it will further

The Louisville lawyer who allegedly threatened Gov. Andy will fight the charge. Gregory James Troutman’s lawyer claims his postings on social media do not qualify as terroristic threatening, according to The Courier Journal. “He didn’t say he was going to kill him,” the lawyer said. “Just because times are scary we cannot overreact. And trying to restrict somebody’s free speech rights … is an overreaction when what they say doesn’t meet the elements of a crime.” Police say Troutman allegedly wrote that Beshear should be asked about William Goebel, the state’s 34th governor who was assassinated. Troutman also allegedly wrote that at a Frankfort rally “with any luck the Gov with be the one at whom the shooting will be directed.”

THORN: IS IT JOURNALISM OR BAITING, BECAUSE... HERE’S THE BEEF

CJ political reporter Phillip Bailey was quick to tweet the response of U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell’s office to U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth who had criticized the senator for threatening Kentucky and all states with bankruptcy rather than offering federal aid. “ZING!” Bailey tweeted, along with a McConnell spokesman’s claim: “On the day @RepJohnYarmuth was golfing at an exclusive club back in #Louisville, other members of the House had traveled to D.C. to pass the CARES Act, a bill crafted and shepherded by Leader McConnell ... “ No waiting for a comment from Yarmuth (LEO’s founder) before tweeting. An hour later, Bailey tweeted an unnamed source “close” to McConnell said: “One person leads! The other putts!” Two hours later, he tweeted that Yarmuth’s office denied he was golfing and was ready to fly if needed to vote. Waiting for both sides and holding McConnell’s staff accountable for its lie would have been journalism but maybe less fun if your goal is to bait and provoke zingers and beefs fomented by staff and unnamed sources. Or, as Bailey tweeted: “The McConnell-Yarmuth beef is the best beef. ”

ABSURD: GOV. ANDY’S SEEN BETTER DAYZ

Gov. Andy said fake names such as Tupac Shakur were slowing unemployment claims. Turns out that Shakur is a laid off cook, the Lexington Herald-Leader wrote.

NEWS & ANALYSIS

exacerbate the recession that we are in.

It will make restarting the economy that much more difficult. It will create additional hardships. And we are looking at where our budget is right now, and we absolutely need that help. Otherwise, the current fiscal year is going to be a real problem. Now, I have a little bit of experience in this public bankruptcy model. I will say that getting in that position can potentially give a federal judge the ability to order you to raise taxes.

And I do not want to be in that situation whatsoever. I mean, we ought to be working with the federal government with the stimulus they are providing to make sure we can continue to operate state government, not deepen any economic hardships that we are facing and have the ability to help restart our economy in a number of different ways.”

New taxes?! Shut the barn door, Andy!

How would McConnell explain new taxes to Kentucky as he asked for their votes?

The less-filtered and rougher but equally dreamy version of Gov. Andy, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo ranked McConnell’s bankruptcy strategy as “one of the really dumb ideas of all time.”

“Not to fund state and local governments is incredibly short-sighted. They want to fund small businesses, fund the airlines, I understand that, but state and local governments fund police and fire and teachers and schools. How do you not fund police and fire and teachers and schools in the midst of this crisis?” Cuomo added.

(He also noted that McConnell’s Kentucky gets more federal money for services than it contributes, while New York contributes more. “It’s your state that is living on the money that we generate,” Cuomo said.

“Your state is getting bailed out. Not my state.”)

The impact of the shutdown is already evident in Kentucky and Louisville.

UofL has announced furloughs and salary cuts.

UK has announced furloughs and a hiring freeze.

Louisville Mayor Greg warned that the city might have to lay off 1,000 employees when he presented his budget to the Metro Council last week.

Remember last year when we all worried about pools and libraries closing? Oh, those halcyon days. This year’s budget, without any federal assistance, will make those cutbacks look like couch change.

The city already has furloughed 380 employees.

“Probably the most significant variable in what our budget situation looks like is the

degree of aid and flexibility we receive from the federal government,” Fischer said in a statement. “That’s why I’ve joined mayors across the country who are adamantly urging for Congress to give cities flexibility in how we spend those dollars, plus provide additional direct funding to address our shortfalls.”

Not happening, said McConnell, who told Hewitt the Democrats be damned for wanting to help the states and cities: “They wanted to extract other things. Fortunately, what they wanted to extract the most, I refused to go along with, and the White House backed me up, and that was we’re not ready to just send a blank check down to states and local governments to spend any way they choose to.”

Predictably and understandably, governors and Democrats have been beating McConnell rhetorically like a piñata filled with votes.

“Look at the language of Mitch McConnell: ‘I’m not bailing out blue states, they should go bankrupt,’” Pelosi told The Washington Post. “Really? Really? How insecure is he in his own race in Kentucky to have to resort to that pathetic language?”

How insecure? Or, how secure? You’d have to be secure in your re-election chances to tell your state to drop dead, wouldn’t you?

Maybe we should look to history for an answer to what McConnell can expect in November (if there are elections at all).

The New Yorker wrote about New York City’s battle for federal assistance: “Ironically, Ford’s tough words, and the even tougher headline they engendered, may have served to save New York and sink Ford.”

“And although Ford would later approve federal support for New York, New Yorkers remembered the headline. The following year, Jimmy Carter received the thirdhighest vote share a Democratic presidential candidate ever received in New York City, narrowly won New York State, and with it, the forty-one electoral votes that give him the Presidency — revealing the impact from one speech that wasn’t given, and one that was.”

Of course, Carter’s victory over rebound President Ford also came as a reaction to the corrupt, impeachable and criminal Nixon administration.

One can only hope Kentuckians remember the time McConnell told them to drop dead. •

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

THIS DERBY NEIGHBORHOOD IS PREPARING FOR A SPRING WITHOUT DERBY

By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com FOR ONE WEEK in the spring, Derby consumes Sylvester Banks’ life.

The 40-year-old warehouse worker has lived right next to Churchill Downs for 10 years. Like many of those who reside in the neighborhoods closest to the track, Banks parks cars and sells food and drinks on Derby days.

He starts at 4 a.m. and doesn’t stop until midnight, directing vehicles and barbecuing ribs, steaks, sausages and more.

“I ain’t trying to get rich off this,” he said.

“I just want to see people with smiles on their faces and doing what they do. That’s what Derby’s about.”

This year, the modest houses in South Louisville that, once a year, become the center of the city, will maintain their unassuming presence on the first Saturday in May, the traditional Derby date. No visitors in tailored suits and ostentatious hats will walk the streets.

Derby has been postponed for the first time since 1945, and, despite insistence from Churchill Downs that the sporting event will occur as normal in September, it’s unclear if Gov. Andy Beshear and Mayor Greg Fischer will allow the usual masses of thousands of people attend.

Metro Councilman Kevin Triplett, whose constituents include those living closest to the Downs, believes the Derby will run with spectators in the summer, but for now, he said, the postponement is a sad result of the coronavirus pandemic.

“Our signature event, the Derby, has such an impact throughout the whole city,

especially right in the Churchill Downs area, in those neighborhoods right there where it’s felt, experienced and expected the most,” he said. “It’s a big loss.”

Triplett said he used to park cars and invite friends over for Derby when he lived closer to the track from 1990 to 2010.

THE NEIGHBORHOOD VIBE CHECK On a sunny, weekday afternoon a week before Derby was originally scheduled, a few South Louisville residents sat on their front porches to enjoy the nice weather while socially distancing. They discussed how they normally honor Derby week — some look forward to the event every year, while others avoid the crowds or get out of the neighborhood. For those who embrace the revelers and hubbub, the loss of the event is necessary but emotional.

Logan and Vicki Price, both in their 50s, have parked cars for 30 years, doing so at their houses on Queen, Bohannon and now Oleanda avenues.

“It’s a big thing for the neighborhood,” Vicki said. “Everybody gets neighborly.

Everybody parks cars, they grill out, they greet all the tourists. It’s just beautiful. I like the glamour of it.”

Some people have been coming to the Prices’ lot for years. They have their cell phone number, and will call them in advance to reserve a spot. One returning customer is a limo driver who travels from Georgia to shuttle around his clients who fly to Louisville.

The Prices keep how much they make every year private, but it’s a “nice” sum of extra money, and the loss this May is espe-

Jahara Bardue, 39, just moved to his home near Churchill Downs last month. He said he’s looking forward to Derby being held closer to his birthday in the summer. | PHOTO BY KATHRYN HARRINGTON.

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Every year, Tammy Baker and Sylvester Banks, left, barbecue and park cars for Derby while their friend, Jacori, right, escapes the busy neighborhood for the event. | PHOTO BY KATHRYN HARRINGTON.

Zac Faulkner, 23, has lived near Churchill Downs his whole life, and he still plans to “turn up” on the first weekend of May, race or no race. | PHOTO BY KATHRYN HARRINGTON.

NEWS & ANALYSIS

cially painful because Vicki is on short-term disability. She has a herniated disc, and she has to wait for elective surgeries to start again in Indiana before she can go back to work.

And Logan has a permanent disability.

Banks said that the money he makes during Derby is a perk. “Everybody needs a little extra.” More than anything, he said he enjoys the people watching and seeing others taste his food. While he barbecues, his wife, Tammy Baker, 53, cooks baked beans, potato salad and macaroni and cheese. After Banks finishes, early in the morning, he has some fun himself at his neighbor’s annual party.

But, he understands why officials postponed the Derby. “It is what it is,” he said.

“I’m not trying to get no cooties.”

Not everyone likes living in the neighborhood during Derby.

Banks’ friend and neighbor, who gave only his first name, Jacori, said that he and his wife leave the street during Derby.

“Yeah, we can’t be down here,” he said.

“It’s too hectic, I’m claustrophobic. I don’t like being around a lot of people. She don’t either.”

The Walker family, which lives a couple blocks away on Wizard Avenue, spend Derby weekend indoors, avoiding the crowds.

“Usually it’s just a bunch of people in the area,” said Dezaray, 25. “It gets kind of annoying.”

Laura Walker, 45, Dezaray’s mother, grew up in the neighborhood. As a kid, she remembers her family throwing parties and barbecuing. But, Derby isn’t the same anymore, she said. Two years ago, the city changed its traffic plans for the Churchill Downs area, cutting off some streets that used to be parking hot spots, Laura’s included.

“Even if I wanted to park cars last year, I couldn’t,” she said.

There have been other changes and proposals in recent years that have frustrated some residents. Churchill Downs began buying up mass amounts of property in 2017 and recently proposed closing a part of Fourth Street to accommodate for expansions to its backside and parking lots.

Triplett said he knows residents who don’t have “Derby fever,” but he thinks they’re the minority.

And even though Derby is not happening this weekend, some residents like Banks still plan to have a good time (although Triplett warned against gatherings among those not quarantining together).

“I’m cooking the first Saturday of May, just like Derby,” said Banks. “I’m not stopping. Might even let off fireworks I have back in my garage. It’ll be a celebration regardless.

If the track shut down, I don’t shut down.” •

Hector, Maria and Emily Gomez sold tacos during the 145th Derby. | PHOTO BY NIK VECHERY.

Larry Edwards, 61, left and Dave Belt, 58, right., making barbecue for the 2018 Derby. | PHOTO BY NIK VECHERY. LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

NATIONAL LOCKDOWNS AND 5G: WHY CORONAVIRUS MISINFORMATION SPREADS EASILY

By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com I FIRST came across the rumor in a group text on March 19.

A friend sent a picture of a text message from her sister: “More bad news to come I am afraid in 72 hours I have heard we will be under a national shelter-in-place shutdown.”

Below it my friend added, “Not sure if this is real but if so, stock up on food all!”

My other friends quickly questioned her.

“OK, where is your sister getting that info?” one asked.

“We’ve already closed most businesses that are customer-facing,” said another.

After a pile on, my friend cried (virtually), “I don’t know what’s true and what’s not anymore!”

With the spread of the novel coronavirus has come another disease, advancing rapidly on social media and in sketchy blog posts.

Maybe it’s infected your friends, your family or even you, that of rumors, misinformation and conspiracy theories.

It is an “infodemic,” as Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, the director-general of the World Health Organization, has said.

“Fake news spreads faster and more easily than this virus, and is just as dangerous,” he said.

In Louisville, the rumor I heard had been circulating for weeks. It claimed that there would be either a national or statewide shutdown, but the details were scarce: Would it be different than the “Healthy At Home” orders already in place? Would the National Guard be involved? The questions were never answered, and the rumor kept resurfacing.

A recent New York Times story revealed that Chinese operatives may have been behind amplifying shutdown rumors in the United States.

Then, there is the conspiracy theory that has swept the world and Louisville, that COVID-19 is caused by 5G cell phone technology. Other misinformation and outright lunacy abound: The coronavirus is a biological weapon unleashed by the United States government, for example. The most popular conspiracy theory, according to a New York Times analysis of data from the media analytics company Zignal Labs, is that Microsoft founder Bill Gates created the novel coronavirus in order to gain control of the global health system. (We shouldn’t have

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to tell you but yes, these conspiracy theories have been debunked by Snopes.com and pretty much every other reliable source).

Making it more difficult is that some people don’t trust the organizations that employ the experts who understand the virus best, such as the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the World Health Organization. Fostering their suspicion is that scientists do not fully understand the virus yet and, therefore, they have changed their recommendations for how to protect ourselves against it.

That’s a theory from Isaac Chun Hai-Fung, an associate professor of epidemiology at Georgia Southern University’s Jiann-Ping Hsu College of Public Health who studied misinformation during the 2014-15 ebola outbreak.

“It is a new virus,” said Fung. “The epidemic is evolving. Scientific knowledge about the virus is in flux. It is continuously changing.”

In a blog post on Medium, Kate Starbird, an associate professor at the University of Washington who specializes in how information is spread during crisis events, said that misinformation is a result of the natural gathering of facts that people do when they’re trying to make sense of an uncertain situation. They piece together the information they find and often share their conclusions with the people they know. This process can breed rumors, and the ones that turn out to be false are misinformation.

“Our information feeds, from television sets, internet searches, and social media, provide continuous updates about the unfolding crisis — some of them accurate, some of them seemingly less so,” wrote Starbird. “Though crisis events like this one have always been times when rumors and misinformation spread, the problem seems especially acute now, with the rise of the internet, the widespread use of social media, and the pervasive politicization of just about everything.”

Almost two weeks after I first learned of the national lockdown rumor, Gay Adelmann, a Louisville public schools activists, posted on Facebook to her 2,000-plus friends: “I’m hearing a two-week federal lockdown could be coming as early as this week. Anyone here with first-hand knowledge of National Guard activation?”

This doozy was floating around Facebook and Twitter.

When I asked her about it, Adelmann said she heard the rumor from an acquaintance in South Carolina who claimed to have a family member who worked at the Pentagon. She did not know if this was true.

But, it lined up with her suspicions that Gov. Andy Beshear and President Donald Trump had been hardening their tone about coronavirus to prepare the public for some shift in government response.

Adelmann said she shared what she had been told because she thought that people should prepare, both mentally and by gathering supplies, if the rumor turned out to be true.

“If something is as important enough to share with my children, just to be food for thought for them, then why wouldn’t I share

it with my friends on Facebook?” she said.

As of April 28, more than three weeks after Adelmann’s post, no lockdown has occurred.

In this “connected era,” according to Starbird, there is an overabundance of information and the public must find out what to trust and what to throw away.

Information, and misinformation, is swirling faster under the coronavirus than other recent disease outbreaks, including ebola, because it’s affecting the entire world, not just one country or region, said Fung.

A new study by researchers from MIT and the University of Regina in Canada found that many people spreading coronavirus misinformation were doing so without thinking about whether it was accurate first.

NEWS & ANALYSIS

demic is that people might end up making “Accuracy nudges,” or prompts to think about accuracy before posting, slowed rates bad decisions for their health based on incorof sharing false information. rect information, said Fung. He cited a news Adelmann said she hopes that everyone story about a couple, one of whom died and the other of whom ended up in critical care who reads her comments on social media after ingesting chloroquine phosphate, a uses their own critical thinking skills before chemical used in aquariums. This was after deciding that they’re fact. On Facebook, she’s also shared information about Advil, or President Donald Trump pimped another form of chloroquine as a potential miracle ibuprofen, aggravating the coronavirus. This drug for COVID-19. tidbit, spread originally by a public health official in France, is not something that has Chanelle Helm, a core organizer of Black been proven, although some experts say to Lives Matter Louisville, said that as a comuse Tylenol instead of ibuprofen just in case. munity leader, people often bring her rumors When Adelthey’ve heard on mann shared the social media for Chanelle Helm, a core French official’s her thoughts on warning on accuracy. organizer of Black Lives theirThose a Facebook who friend’s status, spread rumors, Matter Louisville, said they got angry she said, should that as a community with Adelmann, think about accusing her of their potential leader, people often spreading false effect on others: information. But bring her rumors they’ve Panic could she felt justified cause unnecesheard on social media to sary buying in sharing. hoarding “I’m not her for her thoughts on and of groceries, telling you it’s leaving others a fact, I’m just their accuracy. who need food trying to share Those who spread with you that and supplies in a there are a lot of lurch. rumors, she said, unknowns, and “We really it’s possible to should be trying should think about weigh all of the to make sure their potential effect information at people are OK the same time not geton others: panic could and and make an ting so many educated deciscared,” said cause unnecessary sion,” she said.

Helm, who has buying and hoarding of been fetching According and to Starbird, disgroceries, leaving others groceries supplies for cerning between people in her truth and fiction who need food and can become community who supplies in a lurch. more difficult are not able to when elected leave the house leaders share out of fear of “dubious” information and contradict their catching coronavirus. own response agencies.

Fung’s advice for the public is to follow instructions and guidelines from healthcare This has happened here as Trump presproviders and, before sharing information, ents information about coronavirus that is at odds with what comes from health experts to check that it comes from a reliable source and scientists who work for him, such as such as peer-reviewed journals, a public Anthony Fauci, director of the National health agency like the CDC or a reputable Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. news organization such as the BBC or The New York Times.

And, still, there are those who spread He, like many people during this time, false information purposefully, according shares information about COVID-19 on his to Starbird — those who wish to gain social social media. “But I would choose those media followers or who ask for donations that I believe is reliable information coming for what turns out to be a fake organization. from reliable sources,” he said. • The ultimate consequence of an info-

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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PHOTOS

THE MORE YOU KNOW

TESTING COMES TO WEST LOUISVILLE

By Kathryn Harrington | leo@leoweekly.com AS WIDESPREAD COVID-19 testing becomes increasingly urgent to ultimately control the virus, a testing site on 15th Street provided free, rapid tests at St. Stephen Baptist Church last Saturday. Volunteer medical professionals went up to each vehicle to conduct the test, which began with a ďŹ nger prick. If the results of the ďŹ nger prick came back positive, an additional swab test would be administered. The joint initiative between Goodwill Industries, Teresa and Frank Bridgewaters and the Hope Wellness Center aims to provide accessible testing in West Louisville.

Tents were set up at St. Stephen Baptist Church in West Louisville for drive-through COVID-19 testing.

Volunteer medical professionals conducted COVID-19 tests at St. Stephen Baptist Church on Saturday.

Volunteer medical professionals at St. Stephen Baptist Church.

Volunteers gathered information.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

People lined up in their vehicles awaiting COVID-19 tests at the drive-through testing event.

PHOTOS

Goodwill Industries Chief Financial Officer Mark Hohmann and Vice President of External Affairs DeVone Holt.

A finger for a COVID-19 test.

Rapid COVID-19 tests were administered first.

The rapid COVID-19 tests began with a finger prick.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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PHOTOS

FRONT-LINE WORKERS GET HERO’S THANK YOU

By Kathryn Harrington | leo@leoweekly.com AS YOU WALK TOWARD the emergency room entrance of Norton Audubon Hospital, you’ll see it in chalk: “Heroes Don’t Always Wear Capes.” The phrase describes healthcare professionals in the Age of Coronavirus. Rather than capes, these heroes don scrubs and surgical masks to care for their patients and at grave risk to themselves. On April 21 at the start of the evening shift change, members of the Louisville Metro Police Department, Audubon Park Police Department and Louisville Fire Department showed their gratitude and support. Parked squad cars had their lights turned on while police officers and firefighters formed a welcome gauntlet. Cheers, applause and even elbow bumping greeted the surprised workers as they arrived for work and were getting off their shifts. •

A Norton Audubon healthcare worker was greeted with applause from Louisville police officers and firefighters as she ended her shift.

Audubon Park police officers applauded as nurses arrived to begin their shifts.

The Louisville Fire Department arrived outside Norton Audubon Hospital’s ER entrance to show support for healthcare workers.

Norton Audubon healthcare workers arrived for their shift to applause and statements of gratitude from Louisville firefighters and police officers.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

Audubon Park police officers applauded as nurses arrived to begin their shifts.

PHOTOS

LMPD officers lined up outside Norton Audubon Hospital to show appreciation for healthcare workers who are fighting the coronavirus outbreak.

An LMPD officer and a Norton Audubon healthcare worker bumped elbows before she arrived for her shift.

Norton Audubon employees waited at the ER entrance to take temperatures of arriving healthcare workers before they entered the hospital.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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PHOTOS VIEWS

Police officers and firefighters lined up up outside Norton Audubon Hospital.

Healthcare workers arrived for their shifts to find Louisville police officers and firefighters forming a welcoming committee.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

A healthcare worker arriving for work was greeted with applause.

PHOTOS VIEWS

A healthcare worker waved at applauding police officers and fire fighters as she ended her shift on Tuesday.

Registered Nurse Andrea Shpilberg gave a wave as she and other healthcare workers ended their shifts on Tuesday and were met with applause from police officers and firefighters.

An Audubon Park Police Officer and an LMPD officer bumped elbows outside Norton Audubon Hospital on Tuesday.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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ST

STAFF PICKS

FRIDAY, MAY 1

SA

Home Bar | redpintix.com | $5-$70 | 5-5:30 p.m.

ky

Juleps With Make & Muddle

ANY TIME

Spring 2020 BFA Thesis Exhibition louisville.edu/art | Free

UofL Hite Art Institute BFA students work for VIRTUAL ART years on their degree, which culminates in the annual thesis exhibition. This year, though art galleries are closed across the country, these students are still presenting their work — online, of course. You can find their multi-part projects and artist statements on UofL’s Department of Fine Arts website, expressed through a variety of different media including photographs, drawings, paintings and found materials.

—LEO

From ‘Stages of Grief’ by Samantha Ingram.

Digital photographs.

THROUGH MAY 28

Louisville is going to prove we don’t need horses DRINKS to have a good time on Derby. That’s a winning bet if there ever was one. But, we still need some mint juleps.

The Make & Muddle duo of Jennifer Brian and Brent Carter are here to help with a virtual cocktail class on the classic Derby drink, as well as some alternatives with a twist. It’s $5 to tune in, but you can also upgrade your virtual cocktail experience with a Make & Muddle kit ($25) or a kit plus a Lewis Ice bag and mallet ($70) to create the realest crushed ice for your Derby Day julep. Make & Muddle’s cocktail how-tos continue with boozy slushie and tiki drink lessons through May 23. —LEO

SATURDAY, MAY 2

Kentucky Derby: Triple Crown Showdown NBC | kentuckyderby.com | Free | 3-6 p.m.

Girls Rock Louisville Rock The Internet Search Facebook and Instagram | Free | 4 p.m.

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Every Tuesday and Thursday through May, Girls Rock Louisville is bringing virtual lessons straight into your home or to wherever you’re staying safe and healthy.

GIRL POWER Learn the basics of playing the bass, songwriting and vocals, keyboard, production and more. Some classes require your own equipment, while others just require you to show up. It’s a great opportunity to use this bizarre time to develop a new talent, try a new hobby or find a new outlet for letting loose some quarantined frustration. —Aaron Yarmuth

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

For the first time in 75 years, the Kentucky Derby will not be held on the first Saturday in May. But for the first time in its 146 year history, Churchill Downs AI HORSE RACE will host a virtual race to mark the date. Instead of watching live horses thunder across the track, simulations of the Derby’s 13 Triple Crown winners, from Sir Barton in 1919 to Justify in 2018, will face off. The winner will be determined by data algorithms and historical handicapping information. You can still bet on the outcome with money going to COVID-19 emergency relief efforts. Churchill Downs is prepared to match all donations up to $1 million. The excitement will be broadcast on NBC, just like the regular Derby is, along with a rerun of American Pharoah’s historic victory in 2015. For the full experience, Churchill Downs is also hosting an entire Derby Party on its social media pages with a DIY fascinator tutorial, cocktail crafting and more. —Danielle Grady

ho lea Ce da Lou wh sim sto (an (yo sur gre ac you

STAFF PICKS

SATURDAY, MAY 2

Virtual Beer Festival

kygbrewers.org/virtualbeerfest | $5 ($20 for VIP with T-shirt) | 2-6 p.m.

The Kentucky Guild of Brewers is doing its part to make sure the recent years of local craft beer progress isn’t lost to COVIID-19. KBG is teaming up with the organizers BREW of Tailspin Ale Fest to host Kentucky’s first virtual ale fest to support Kentucky breweries and the people who work in them. Two dozen breweries will be participating by posting on Facebook live from their breweries: talking shop, walking you through tastings and answering your questions. Yes, it sucks that you have to supply your own beer to taste, but it’s only $5 and it is for a worthy cause. And who knows the next time you’ll be able to attend a regular beer festival? All you have to do is join the Facebook event page — which can be found through the Kentucky Guild of Brewers page or by searching “No Derby No Problem Virtual Beer Festival” — and a link will be emailed to you 24 hours before the virtual festivities begin. —LEO

SATURDAY, MAY 2

Paint Nite: Abstract Horse yaymaker.com | $15 | 1 p.m.

If you’re going to be like everyone else in Louisville PAINTED PONY and hang up a horse painting on your walls, it should at least be a horse painting that you made.

Celebrate what would have been Derby day with a virtual painting lesson led by Louisville blogger Allison Lewis. Here’s what you need: a canvas or something similar to paint on (cardboard or card stock will do); a large and small brush (and a medium if you have one); an easel (you can also lay your painting on a flat surface); and paint colors in red, blue, green, yellow, black and white. The result: a colorful, artistic depiction of a horse for your home. —LEO

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

21

MUSIC

7 GREAT LOUISVILLE ALBUMS TO REVISIT IN QUARANTINE

By Scott Recker | srecker@leoweekly.com THERE DEFINITELY isn’t a shortage of Louisville albums from the last few decades to revisit, and this isn’t by any means a complete list — or a ranked one, for that matter. Lists, in my opinion, can be extremely annoying and vapid, especially those that just try to start arguments, or they can be a roadmap to discover something new or a reminder to revisit something important.

This is just a snapshot, but hopefully it reconnects you with a few great albums from the city’s rich history.

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy — I See A Darkness

Joan Shelley — Over And Even

Squirrel Bait — Skag Heaven (1987) The members of Squirrel Bait became incredibly influential on the Louisville scene and beyond, both for the music they made throughout the ‘80s and for the future projects every one of them would go on to start after the band ended. Squirrel Bait twisted the sort of hardcore and punk coming out of Minneapolis into forward-thinking, pre-grunge indie rock, channeling a visceral familiarity with a sharp complexity. Skag Heaven is a balancing act between heavy and melodic, slick and experimental, rage and thoughtfulness. And it all holds up so well.

Slint — Spiderland (1991) In the late ‘80s, members of Squirrel Bait and Maurice went on to form Slint, which broke up a few months before the release of Spiderland, an album that eventually became an underground bible. It was the The Velvet Underground & Nico of its era, in a sense: It didn’t land on any charts, but it changed how a generation of angry art kids perceived music. With spoken word that erupts into explosions and haunting, off-the-wall structures that sway with unpredictability, Spiderland feels like a novel and a nightmare. It’s as mysterious as it is piercing, and, even though it inspired a legion of bands, it still sounds unlike anything else.

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy — I See A Darkness (1998) Will Oldham’s first album under the Bonnie “Prince” Billy moniker is packed with poetic puzzles and deep sincerity, flourishes of experimentation and eccentricity, single lines that stick with you for days and songs that you pull different meaning from every time you listen to them.

The title track, famously covered by Johnny Cash, is an intense, slow-moving story-song, the outline vaguely sketched out, with the best details just beneath the surface — it makes you fill them in, guessing the history and outcomes of the characters, but the ambiguity also transports you to a similar time and place in your life. It’s a song about turmoil, uncertainty, fear and hope circling around future and friendship, and listening to it is basically the equivalent of getting hit directly in the feelings by prime Mike Tyson. It’s an existential mindtrip of a record.

Joan Shelley — Over And Even (2015) Joan Shelley’s songs are full of meaning and mystery. They’re direct and evocative, but they’re also told at a distance. Over And Even, Shelley’s fourth full-length album, intertwines the themes of love and nature, using picturesque visions of landscapes as the backdrops for stories of relationships found and lost. The album’s melodies are bright and magnetic, but the musician-

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

Twin Limb — Haplo

1200 — Arsnova

ship is extremely subtle and calculated — everything’s where it should be, with nothing flashy or overpowering. There are no gimmicks in Shelley’s folk music, just expertly penned songs, careful layering and striking vocals.

Twin Limb — Haplo (2016) Twin Limb’s psychedelic dream-pop is a vortex of rich textures and big ideas, held together by steady percussion and chilling vocals. Haplo, the band’s first full-length, was a long time coming, as Twin Limb spent a few years searching for their sound, continuously diving even deeper into the pool of experimentation. The end result was something like if Mazzy Star and Pink Floyd would have formed a supergroup. Haplo was the evolution of an already good band who took a solid base and kept working and working until they got somewhere even further down the line of originality. The album is equally control and chaos — with catchy and inviting elements paired with a massive and spacey atmosphere that sounds like the future.

James Lindsey — Same Sky (2017) “I wanted to put out each track that conveyed exactly how I was feeling [at the time]. Our plan was to try to capture different emotions.” That’s what James Lindsey told me shortly after the release of Same Sky, and that’s exactly what you get with the album: a masterful hip-hop roller coaster ride that tracks the ups and downs of being human. There’s frustration with a broken system, hope for a better future, the positives and negatives of nostalgia — everything is very interwoven, stringing together different timelines, different situations, different perspectives.

It’s incredibly dynamic, and that’s helped along by the versatile production and Lindsey’s clever vocal work.

1200 — Arsnova (2019) After 2017’s semi-autobiographical concept album Seance / Spirit, Jecorey “1200” Arthur returned with Arsnova, an intense and brilliant social critique targeting systemic racism, gentrification and a country that doesn’t want to truly acknowledge its greatest sins. Arthur, who pairs hip-hop beats with samples from classical composers on Arsnova, delivers a remarkable performance, with his words as sharp and focused as ever. You know when someone gives an honest and inspirational speech, and you walk away ignited and contemplative? That’s what these songs are like. The album’s full of straight-forward lines like this: “Compassion City got some segregation / How am I the only one embarrassed, what we about to do to Beecher Terrace? / This 9th Street divide will never parish.”

FOOD & DRINK

CLOSED: FORCED REMODEL

A BARTENDER ON HOW THE SERVICE INDUSTRY WILL CHANGE

By Dante Wheat | leo@leoweekly.com THE SERVICE INDUSTRY, as we know it, is changing before our very eyes. Fine dining restaurants have become quick-service takeout joints, bars are acting as bodegas and bartenders have become online spirits instructors.

It’s wild how quickly a business model can change in moments of crisis. We’d like to believe that once we get past COVID-19 (Big Rona), everything will be back how it was, but I’m here to tell you: it won’t. The entire structure of the hospitality industry is going through a forced remodel, and if you aren’t careful, you’ll be discarded with the scraps.

As the length of the COVID-19 pandemic forecast increases and we move towards quarantine day #: it no longer matters, it’s becoming extremely apparent that a lot of places we know, love, and work at aren’t going to make it through this. The ones that do make it will have financials that look like Apollo Creed in “Rocky IV.” Expect most surviving restaurants/bars to run on a skeleton staff for the remainder of the year, at minimum, to try and recoup some of the losses of the business. This means that everyone out of work is not guaranteed to get hired back right when we get the all-clear. I hate to say it, but it’s the inconvenient truth. Yeah, there will be an initial surge of patrons just wanting to get out of the house and do anything. However, over 17 million people have filed for unemployment as I’m writing this, not counting the people whose wages have been cut dramatically, or those who’ve been furloughed. People aren’t going to have money to blindly spend on Wagyu hot dogs or oak stave-smoked Manhattans — at least, not at first.

I’m not here to take a piss in your Negroni; I honestly think the industry will be stronger for this... eventually. We’re starving right now, but that isn’t always bad. In times of famine, the first thing you do is burn the “fat.”

I think that in the years following this, you’ll see some of the most-focused restaurants and bars we have seen in years. You’ll see people letting go of bullshit gimmicks, overpriced mediocrity and wack products. Instead, you’ll find getting us back to what we genuinely need, excellent hospitality. My curiosity (and hope) is at an all-time high waiting to see the fire menus, concepts and service regimes that come out of this.

So, where do you line up within all this? I don’t personally know each of you, so I can’t speak on that, but I’m willing to bet there will be a lot less “why in the hell did we hire this

guy?” in restaurants. Sounds great, but tread lightly — you could be that guy and not even realize it. You should be doing everything in your power, regardless of who you are, to ensure you fit into the soon-to-be reality of the remodeled service industry. I’m not telling you not to drink; I’m having one as I am writing this. However, the last thing you want to come out of this quarantine with is a fresh drinking problem. Below are some things you can do to prep for the new reality, in turn luring you away from the pitfalls of mindless drinking.

SHARPEN YOUR SKILLS

We as hospitality professionals are always bitching about how we never have time for self-development. Well, now you have nothing but time, fam. Have a passion for wine? Study its regions and varieties. Is craft beer your personality? Well, learn about all the different styles of beer and their origins. A mixologist? You’re probably going to have a drink anyway, so might as well R&D a new menu.

Are you looking to move to management?

Read a book on how to lead effectively.

STAY ACTIVE

Now I’m not saying you need to start preparing for the damn Ironman, but the service industry is one that requires a lot of movement and lifting of random shit. Make a plan to start a “normal life” fitness regime. A practical and easy goal to start with is choosing to walk an hour a day and stretch. The beauty of too much free time and the 21st century is YouTube. Countless free yoga sessions are streaming at any given point. Take the opportunity to do this for your physical well-being, so that when the day comes to go back to double shifts until 2 a.m., you aren’t getting your ass handed to you in a sauté pan.

STAY IN CONTACT

Our industry is a relationship-based business; we tend to hire/keep people with whom we formed a connection. Don’t wait for your employer to reach out to you. Strike first, see how they are doing, how the business is doing.

Do it regularly. This simple gesture shows you give a shit about them and the company they own. You’ll have a better chance of keeping your job just by completing this simple task on a semi-regular cadence. At the off chance they do screw you, at least they’ll have to look

at you when they do it.

KEEP A ROUTINE

Look, I know it’s easy to spend your entire day diving into the depths of Netflix, watching grown adults argue over who has the nicest tiger prison. Believe me, it always sounds like a good time. Nevertheless, keeping a somewhat consistent routine during a time of crisis will help keep your sanity. Holding yourself accountable for a routine at home is no different than holding yourself accountable for counting down the drawers every night. Set a daily loose, but thought-out schedule. Allow yourself time to dick around and do FaceTime happy hour with homies, but outside of that, what would you usually be doing at work?

What can mirror it at home? Write it out and make your routine plan — it could even be a simple daily to-do list. I promise this will help keep you busy and productive. You might not smoke “Ozark” trivia, but you’ll be able to work your first shift back without having a mental break.

MOST IMPORTANT: TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH Contrary to popular belief, people work better when they’re happy. I don’t know any of you on a personal level, but odds are that right now happiness isn’t your dominant state of mind. I wouldn’t be shocked if you were feeling a bit anxious and slightly in pain from a night of stress drinking fueled by a lack of stability. That’s acceptable, but you still need to stand up in the morning, look in the mirror and find a way to make yourself have a positive moment or two during each day of the dreaded hell we’re living in. For me, it’s writing down how I feel so I can get it out in the open and assess it. I also take walks to help myself physically, sure, but it also clears and focuses my mind. For you, it may be gardening or writing music. I

don’t know, but finding moments of joy each day is pertinent if you want to make it to the other side intact and ready to work.

I know this may seem like a lot, and ,quite frankly, it is. Remember, you aren’t alone.

There are millions of people going through this with you. Just because you can’t physically see people doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check-in (no, sending shots on Instagram or seeing which of your friends can’t do 10 pushups isn’t checking in). Call your coworkers and homies, and see how they are doing.

Offer assistance: Listening is free and very valuable in times like this. Also, hold the ones you care about accountable; you don’t want to lose anyone due to an avoidable tragedy. In an industry where we are focused solely on taking care of strangers, this is now the time to take care of each other.

Now, I know for a fact most of you aren’t going to listen to what I’m saying. Service industry humans are among the most stubborn individuals on the planet (serving us well most of the time). You’ll rely on government assistance and donations from liquor brands while sitting on your hands expecting everything to be business as usual once this is over. However, I’m just as confident that a small portion of you will heed my advice. When you do, I hope you use this time to take care of yourself for the betterment of you and our industry. I want to see all industry lifers and non-lifers alike succeed. Take steps now and begin putting yourself in a position to lead, so when this does happen again (and it will), you’ll be in a position to help others on the opposite side of the coin.

Stay safe, social distance, and please open and read articles before you share them. •

Dante Wheat is a Louisville bartender, writer and founder of rawpineapples.com

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

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83 89

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96 Headstrong 97 Spot coverage?

99 Like a wunderkind 101 Edie of ‘‘The Sopranos’’ 102 Spoilers, of a sort 103 Witch 105 ‘‘Catch That ____ Spirit’’ (old ad slogan) 106 Exams for some bio majors 107 Pull some strings?

111 Guesses by GPSes 113 Director Craven 114 Play with 116 Thurman of ‘‘Pulp Fiction’’ 117 Word with rolling or bowling

R I P E R

Y E S N O

D Y E D O N A I R

G I F T E D R A N G

I S R M L U R F E T T E

C E S A D A R A L O M E B A D L M I D E V E S A R E D W T E N A I V I N E D T A L E I S S P R E C E E N A E S R E J U P T O M I A A N S

M C A T S

P E P S I

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E W E S

E D A R T S

F E N G S H U I

P A L A C E

A C P L U G

L Y S E P L O N K S

50 Org. that employs radio telescopes 52 Principle of harmonious design 53 Absorb, as a loss 54 Ones practicing: Abbr.

57 ____ Purchase, 1853 land deal with Mexico 58 Actor Patel 61 Thorn in a dictator’s side 63 Grassy field 65 Kind of rating 67 Road crew’s supply 68 House speaker before Pelosi 69 Went green, perhaps?

70 Called up 71 Call to a shepherd 72 Stadium cry 75 Milk sources 76 Disintegrate, in a way, as cells in the body 79 S O S in Gotham City 80 Biblical figure with a tomb in the Cave of the Patriarchs 82 Simple shelter 83 Spanish winds 86 Convinced 88 No longer sleeping 89 ‘‘Marriage Story’’ co-star, to fans 91 Simple and ingenious 93 Sparkle 95 Have trouble deciding

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P A P S E K E U T L E K G L A E D A S D W E O N K E N N A N A S

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 29, 2020

1 Wanderer 2 ____ Parade, annual June celebration 3 Intel producer 4 Scads 5 Part of the upper bod 6 ‘‘Or so’’ 7 V.I.P. rosters 8 More yellow, but not yet brown, say 9 Like a question for which ‘‘maybe’’ is not an option 10 Capital of French Polynesia 11 Off the internet, to internet users 12 Blue toon in a white dress 13 Chocolate substitute 14 Japanese soybean appetizer 15 Nickname that can be either masculine or feminine 16 Standard outlet connection 17 Grand dwelling 18 Carelessly drops 24 Ankle-biter 29 Move stealthily 31 Weapon sought by Voldemort 33 Woman with a well-known internet ‘‘list’’ 34 Cardiologist’s tool 35 Like some personalities 36 Go full ____ (throw a world-class hissy fit) 38 Certain employee at ESPN or JPMorgan Chase 41 Vanquishers of kings?

42 Drink in a little cup 43 Piece of training equipment in boxing 44 Put forth, as a theory 47 Dance that men often do shirtless 48 Europe-based grp. with no European members

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1 Big inits. in news 4 Place to visit in a suit 10 Sign of winter’s end 16 Purchase that often costs 99¢ 19 Something picked at with a pickax 20 Comic Jones formerly of ‘‘S.N.L.’’ 21 Fleet 22 Low-____ 23 Duffer’s approach shots that barely go anywhere?

25 Like kids, but not mom or dad?

26 Gaza grp.

27 Bad position for a server 28 Pick up 30 CD follower 31 Flair 32 Post-Mao Chinese leader 33 Duffer’s putt that just misses?

37 Goes on a tweetstorm 39 ____ Reader 40 Tiny insects in a swarm 41 Founder of WikiLeaks 44 Common skirt feature 45 Preparatory time 46 Nickname for a duffer who can’t hit straight?

49 ‘‘____ on!’’

51 Yapped like a dog 55 Make (out) 56 Pauses 57 King Midas’s downfall 59 Sport 60 Showing signs of neglect 62 Orphan girl in Byron’s ‘‘Don Juan’’ 64 Lodgers 66 Result of spectators’ heckling a duffer?

71 Rope holding down a bowsprit 73 Course that’s free of obstacles?

74 It was ‘‘a no-go’’ in Billy Joel’s ‘‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’’ 77 ‘‘Such is life!’’

78 Foaming at the mouth 81 Certain insurance coverage 84 Line on a map: Abbr.

85 Protection 87 Rapper Lil ____ X 88 Duffer’s problems with an angled club?

90 Scale starter, per ‘‘The Sound of Music’’ 92 Attach to the end of 94 On the button

3

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Across

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R A P E L E C R O C O U T N G A R A N S A N G P T A I E L E E D Y D I S T B S T A A S R G I S D O E T E L L O N D E U T G P W A E E N E S T

No. 0503

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O R N E R Y

BY JACK MOWAT AND JEFF CHEN / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

95 ‘‘I’m listening’’ 98 Physician Jonas 99 Actress Davis 100 Duffer’s reasons to choose a wood?

104 Turntable rates, in brief 108 Letter-shaped fastener 109 ____ order 110 Wolf (down) 111 Button on a DVD player 112 Cool, in an uncool way 113 Something consumed with a cracker?

115 Like the duffer in this puzzle?

118 Palindrome in poetry 119 Box up 120 Cause of fatigue 121 VW predecessors?

122 New York city on Long Island Sound 123 Like the ‘‘Mona Lisa’’ in 1911 124 Civics and Accords 125 School of thought

D I T H E R

The New York Times Magazine Crossword OF COURSE!

PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON

ETC.

SAVAGE LOVE

By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage

AROUSED STATE

Q: I’m a 31-year-old female. Last week, I suddenly started to experience an overwhelming, compulsive and near-constant state of physical arousal. I’ve masturbated so much looking for relief that my entire lower region is super sore and swollen and still, its like my whole body is pulsating with this electric arousal telling me to ignore the pain and do it again. I have no idea if it’s normal to suddenly have such a spike in libido, and I know a lot of people will say they wish they had this problem, but its interfering with my daily activities because I cant focus on anything else. My college classes are suffering because of it. I’ve even had to remove my clitoral hood piercing, which I’ve had that for over 10 years! I feel like I have all of the reasons—high anxiety related to the pandemic, being stuck with alcoholic boyfriend in the house, tons of homework, finances are low—to warrant a lack of arousal, so why am I drowning in it?

Everything I’m learning in class states that sexual desire lowers through out the lifespan, so why am I literally pulsating with it?

I really don’t want to call my doctor if I don’t have to. Any insight would be appreciated.

Chronically Aroused “There’s a general belief that sexual arousal is always wanted — and the more the better,” said Robyn Jackowich. “But in reality, persistent and unwanted sexual arousal can be very distressing.”

Jackowich is a PhD candidate at Queen’s University, where she works under the supervision of Dr. Caroline Pukall in the Sexual Health Research Lab. Jackowich has published numerous studies on Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD), a condition characterized by a constant or frequently recurring state of genital arousal — sensations, sensitivity, swelling — in the absence of sexual desire.

“In other words, there is a disconnect between what is happening in one’s body and mind,” said Jackowich, “and this can be both distressing and distracting.”

And while you would think stress would tank your libido — and preliminary research shows that the pandemic is tanking more libidos than it’s not — stress and anxiety can actually be triggers for PGAD. As you’ve learned, CA, you can’t masturbate your way out of this. So, what do you

do? Unfortunately, it’s the thing you’d really rather not do: call your doctor.

“It’s important to meet with a knowledgeable healthcare provider to ensure there is not another concern present that may be responsible for the symptoms and to access treatment,” said Jackowich. “Research on treatments for PGAD is relatively new, so it can be helpful to meet with a team of different healthcare providers to find what treatments would be most effective for you specifically. This could include a gynecologist, urologist, pelvic floor physical therapist, neurologist and/or psychologist with expertise in sex therapy.”

Talking with your doctor about this may be embarrassing, I realize, and it doesn’t help that many doctors are unfamiliar with PGAD. Jackowich actually recommends bringing printouts of information pages and research papers about the condition to your appointment and sharing them with your physician. And if your doc doesn’t take your distress seriously and/or refuses to refer you to the specialists you need to see, CA, then you’ll have to get yourself a new doctor.

(You can find those information pages and research papers at sexlab.ca/pgad, where you can also learn about currently available treatments and join support groups for sufferers.)

“More awareness of PGAD and research on this condition is needed to help understand the symptoms and develop effective treatments,” said Jackowich. “If you experience these symptoms and would like to contribute to ongoing research efforts, the Queen’s University Sexual Health Research Lab is seeking participants for an online study.” To take part in that online survey, go to sexlab.ca/pgad, click on “participate,” and scroll down to the “OLIVE Study.”

Q: I’ve rekindled a romance with an ex from a decade ago. We are long distance right now but getting very close. We have one recurring problem though. She does not like that I am friends with another ex. That ex has actually been a close friend for a very long time, and our friendship means a lot to me.

Our romantic relationship only lasted a few months. But since we did have a romantic relationship once, my current girlfriend sees my ex as a threat. I have reassured her several times that the relationship is in the past and we are now only friends. But my

girlfriend doesn’t want me to communicate with her at all. She wants me to unfriend her on Facebook and unfollow her Instagram, and at least once a week, she asks if we have been in contact. It is hard for me to throw a friend away in order to be in a relationship.

Even though I don’t talk to my ex/friend all that regularly, I would like the option to at least check in every once in a while. Cutting her out of my life completely feels like a kind of death. I wish there was some way I could find a compromise, but this seems to be one of those “all-or-nothing” things. I also don’t like this feeling of not being trusted and fear it could lead to other problems down the line.

Unhappy Girlfriend Has Sensitivities I can see why your current girlfriend might feel threatened by your relationship with an ex, UGHS, seeing as she — your current girlfriend — was until very recently just another one of your exes. Since you got back together with her, the green-eyed monster whispers in her ear, what’s to stop you from getting back together with your other ex? What the green-eyed monster doesn’t say, of course, is that you had every opportunity to get back together with your ex and didn’t. And cutting off your ex now doesn’t mean you can’t get back together with her later. And what’s to stop you from getting together with one of the 3.5 billion women you haven’t already dated?

You have to take a hard line on this. Tell your current you’re happy to provide her with a little reassurance when she’s feeling insecure about your ex, but you’re not going to unfriend or unfollow her or anyone else.

You can make an appeal to reason — you wouldn’t be with your current girlfriend if you were the sort of person who cut off contact with his exes — but if your current girlfriend is the irrationally jealous type… well, an appeal to reason won’t help. Irrationally jealous people are by definition incapable of seeing reason, UGHS, which is why they must be shown doors.

This week on the Savage Lovecast: Dan chats with our epidemiologist pal about the state of the pandemic, and also with the founder of the Badass Army- a group working to fight for victims of revenge porn. www. savagelovecast.com

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Notice is hereby given by AAMCO Transmissions #46851 11696 Dixie Hwy, Louisville, KY 40272 502-933-4747 to obtain title. Owner has 14 days to respond in writing. 2009 GMC ACADIA VIN#1GKEV23D99J212134, owner Miichele Abernathy 3408 Dixie Hwy, Louisville, KY 40216. Lien holder CREDIT ACCEPTANCE 25505 W Twelve Mile, Southfield, MI 48034.

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