LEO Weekly Aug. 11, 2021

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Your Things Are Probably Not Worth What You Think They’re Worth

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NEW KENTUCKY GROUP WANTS TO ORGANIZE RENTERS | PAGE 6

A Q&A WITH THE LONG ISLAND MEDIUM, THERESA CAPUTO | PAGE 20 LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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Cricket

This gorgeous little brown-eyed-girl is ready to steal your heart and fill your life with love.

Cricket is a one-year-old Hound mix who weighs about 35lbs and came to the Kentucky Humane Society when her owner could no longer care for her. She lived outside for most of her life and has been working on becoming more comfortable with indoor spaces. When Cricket arrived at KHS, we discovered that she had heartworms. She has been treated and is just waiting out the time until she gets tested again to see if she’s all clear of them. After her treatment, Cricket became very sensitive to handling and our behavior team took some time to work with her and get her more comfortable with touch. While Cricket can be shy and timid when you first meet her, we’ve seen her come out of her shell and show us her sweet, silly self. She LOVES to play with toys and will zoom around with them and throw them in the air. You’ve never seen a happier dog than Cricket shredding a toy around the yard! Her prior owner said she would escape the yard to play with the older children in the neighborhood, so she can go home with children 5 and up.

She has not had much experience with other dogs but is willing to meet them to see if she might enjoy a sibling! She has also had no experience with cats. Cricket is a very smart girl and enjoys learning. She responds very well to clicker training and would love to be in a home that could continue her training. It may take her some time to become 100% comfortable with a person, but it’s well worth the wait. Once she knows you, she will flop in your lap or sit next to you and put her head on your shoulder or leg, just looking for some love, and giving some too. She really is a wonderful little girl that deserves a home that will help her learn what it means to be a spoiled pup. Cricket is spayed, micro-chipped, and up-to-date on vaccinations. if you are interested in meeting her, you must submit an online adoption application located at www.kyhumane.org/dog-app. Once we have received your adoption application, our behavior team will follow up and provide you with more information. You can also email behaviorteam@kyhumane.org for more info.

LOUISVILLE ECCENTRIC OBSERVER

Volume 31 | Number 35 974 BRECKENRIDGE LANE #170. LOUISVILLE KY 40207 PHONE (502) 895-9770 FAX (502) 895-9779 Your Things Are Probably Not Worth What You Think They’re Worth A Look At Louisville’s Vintage And Collectible Resale Market

FREE AUG.11.2021

RESALE

Your Things Are Probably Not Worth What You Think They’re Worth

Are you looking for a downright handsome hunk of love to join your life? Well, allow us to introduce you to Declan! At nearly 20 pounds, this two-year-old boy is quite a unit!

He came back to the Kentucky Humane Society after being left at an overcrowded shelter. When he came back to us, Declan had a urinary tract infection that has since been treated. It might be a good idea to have him on a specialized diet going forward as a result. Declan is a true sweetheart and is looking for someone to love. Could that be with you? Declan is neutered, microchipped, and up-to-date on his shots. We haven’t seen how he acts around other animals or children. Come meet him today at the East Campus, 1000 Lyndon Lane, or learn more at kyhumane.org/cats.

COVER BY TALON HAMPTON

LEO’S READERS CHOICE GET YOUR VOTE ON! VOTE AT VOTE.LEOWEEKLY.COM

NEW KENTUCKY GROUP WANTS TO ORGANIZE RENTERS | PAGE 6

Declan

ON THE COVER

A Q&A WITH THE LONG ISLAND MEDIUM, THERESA CAPUTO | PAGE 20

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VIEWS

EDITOR’S NOTE

MANDATE SCHMANDATE. FOLKS, LET’S MOVE ON.

By Erica Rucker | erucker@leoweekly.com

THE MASK MANDATE should be old news. the COVID being passed aeround in the community.

So should hesitation to the vaccine. We’re It isn’t just Republicans right now, honin a pandemic, have been for more than a estly. Many vaxxed people are reluctant year and yet Americans and locals both in to return to masking and some are having Louisville and just across the bridge are behaving as if the request to protect public their own set of infantile fits about having to be asked to wear the mask again. The health by wearing a mask or taking the vaccine is helping but Delta has proven, in vaccine is something new, and, more than some breakthrough that, something that is such a Republican politicians cases, that it can circumvent any of great imposition. are fıghting at every these vaccines and People, just calm make you very sick. the fuck down corner to prevent mask In Louisville, and put the shit schools have on and by the mandates while govreinstated masking way, go get vacerning or representmandates requircinated. ing all staff and Republican ing states with high students to mask up politicians are fighting at every transmission rates and regardless of their vaccination status. corner to prevent hospitals full of COVID A similar ordinance mask mandates was passed in Floyd while governing patients.

County, Indiana but or representing was held because states with high of a few protesters. The commission of transmission rates and hospitals full of public health will revisit the ordinance COVID patients. Kentucky Senator Rand Friday.

Paul suggested that Americans ignore the It feels like we’re walking the same old CDC. “It’s time for us to resist. They can’t road as we did last year. arrest all of us,” he said in an unhinged We know masking works, but because rant about freedom and dumbassery while of a few loud idiots, we have to politicize Kentucky turns blood red from all of

something that is an act of basic decency and preservation.

The way I look at the issue of masks and vaccines is this. Masks are the minimum I can do to prevent myself from getting sick and it keeps my germs closer to me. I also don’t have to spend a lot of money on makeup or worry about men telling me to smile when I’d rather rely on my resting bitch face to illuminate how I feel. The mask is honestly quite a cozy way to scowl at fools like anti-vax/ anti-mask protesters. I’ll keep it.

Also, I like my son to be able to go to school and the mask mandates makes that possible. But, I guess they forgot that whole protest last year. It makes no sense.

As far as the folks who are both antimask and anti-vax, I’m even more confused because so many of these people are literal cocktails of chemicals on legs. Many of us grew up in the ‘70s and ‘80s when we chewed on

lead paint, ate fruit covered in DDT and ate red dye 40 until we were rattling balls of nerves in meat cages who were given other chemicals to counteract all of those things. Some of us still use those chemicals now. We use chemicals to sleep, to wake up, to not be depressed or anxious or to deal with a plethora of other issues. The vaccine is truly one of the mildest things we’ve ever put in our bodies, so I just don’t get the resistance.

I guess the point I’m making is that all of the hubbub over masks and mandates, vaccines and vaccine passports is much ado about nothing. The resistance is because someone decided to make a political issue out of something that shouldn’t have any politics attached, but here we are. Damn it, here we still are. •

LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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VIEWS

TITLE IX GUY

ADVOCACY SPOTLIGHT: PRP HIGH SCHOOL’S MADISON YOCHUM AND KASIE STEMLE

By James Wilkerson | leo@leoweekly.com

DURING a time when the state of Utah is on its way to outright banning sexual education in schools, Louisville’s own Pleasure Ridge Park High School is expanding the knowledge its freshmen receive. PRP is strengthening its campus culture by teaching its students the art of bystander intervention.

This is an initiative spearheaded by freshman English teacher Madison Yochum and academic instructional coach Kasie Stemle.

“I had the privilege of attending a bystander intervention training at Indiana University Southeast last semester, and it sparked a memory from undergrad,” says Yochum, a Western Kentucky University alum. “I remembered a similar training my friends went through at Western and how impactful it was for them.”

Knowing how beneficial bystander intervention training could be for her students at PRP, Yochum took the idea to her colleague Stemle.

“We have a unique culture here at PRP. We have the culture of a neighborhood school,” Stemle says. “Teaching our kids bystander intervention gives them another layer to protect each other and make our culture even stronger.”

“HOMECOMING”

there were 10 to 12 bystanders who watched the attack, yet none of them moved to intervene or call help. A neighbor would eventually become aware of what was happening and would call the authorities.

This incident serves as the fact pattern in PRP’s bystander intervention workshop. Entitled “Homecoming,” the lecture teaches students about the bystander effect through examining the different hurdles that cause bystanders to stand idle.

These hurdles include the diffusion of responsibility and the desire to act in socially acceptable ways. Students are then equipped with the tools needed to clear these hurdles as they learn several methods of intervention they can utilize. From directly intervening or causing a distraction, to alerting a suitable third party, students learn there are numerous ways they can come to the aid of another in an incident of sexual assault, while remaining safe themselves. Finally, students learn that sexual assault is a community problem and as such, requires a community solution.

In 2016, a student at Richmond High School in Richmond, California was leaving her school’s homecoming dance. While STUDENT standing outside REACTIONS the gymnasium “Initially where the dance I was on pins was being held, and needles several boys wondering if and young men the students called her over would ‘get it,’” to the school’s says Yochum. courtyard where “But oh, did they asked the they! You could girl for sex. watch them When she taking the inforKasie Stemle (left) and Madison Yochum declined, she mation in and was sexually could see the assaulted by approximately 12 of the young lightbulbs turn on in their heads.” men over the course of two hours. While the Several students came up to Yochum assault was happening, it was reported that after class to express how big of a deal it

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James J. Wilkerson.

was that bystander intervention was being taught. But it was the exit slips that Yochum gave the student to fill out that truly revealed their reactions.

One student showed off her newfound knowledge of the different forms of intervention, writing, “getting involved isn’t just calling the police or fighting, but it can also be distraction.” Another student expressed the value of the lecture saying, “I learned that just sitting back and watching something happen will not help the problem. I can use this info in the future to help other people in need.” One student expressed her gratitude for the lecture, recalling her own assault stating, “I am happy this is being taught. I was sexually assaulted, and people watched, but nobody helped me.”

With such a positive student response, both Yochum and Stemle are excited for the future. Next year’s lecture will see the students reading the bystander intervention chapter of my book, “The Title IX Guy.” Once they have the base knowledge

established, the students will go through the “Homecoming” lecture in hopes of an even more robust student conversation.

For Stemle, she hopes this education will strengthen PRP’s culture: “I want this training to be able to empower the girls, giving them the tools that they need to survive and the skills they need to help their friends get out of situations.”

Yochum (also the assistant coach of the school’s boys’ basketball team) echoes Stemle’s sentiment for the boys at the school.

“I want to create a culture for the boys where it isn’t cool to gang up on girls or make jokes about sexual assault,” she says.

“I want to create a culture where it is cool to speak out, hold each other accountable, and stand up for girls and other boys. We want to set the standard and draw the line.” •

IT’S

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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NEWS & ANALYSIS

NEW KENTUCKY GROUP WANTS TO ORGANIZE RENTERS STATEWIDE FOR MORE PROTECTIONS

By Danielle Grady | leo@leoweekly.com MINDY DAVENPORT realized how few rights renters have in Kentucky when she learned that a developer wanted to buy the Morehead mobile home park where she had lived for 25 years.

Their plan was to evict her and all her neighbors.

“We had zero,” she said. “The only right we had is that they had to give us a 30 days notice, and that was it.”

Davenport got involved with a tenants-rights effort called Justice 4 North Fork earlier this year to organize against the evictions. The group comforted her through months of “terror” and is now challenging the development in court, although her and her neighbors were still evicted.

Now, she wants to advocate for tenants rights on a state level. On Saturday, Davenport attended the first Tenant Organizing Training session by KY Tenants, a new organization that plans to unite renters across Kentucky to demand “good housing for all.”

“I think people do need to realize that the things that can happen to you, and property owners have no more obligation to you than that 30 day [notice],” she said.

During the pandemic, several tenant organizations sprung up in Kentucky, including groups in Bowling Green and Madison County, said Beau Revlett, a KY Tenants organizer. Economic woes from COVID-19 have put thousands of Kentuckians at risk of eviction, highlighting the need for tenant protections. Last week, the federal eviction moratorium — for tenants who couldn’t pay rent — lapsed. The safety net of the moratorium was absent for two days before the CDC instated another one for areas of the country with high rates of COVID transmissibility. That applies to most counties in Kentucky, but it’s a protection that could be yanked away at any time.

KY Tenants is bringing together the new tenants groups and a couple that have existed for slightly longer, including one in Lexington. Tenant organizing in Kentucky has been a long-standing

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THORNS & ROSES THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD

tradition but a sporadic one, according to Revlett. KY Tenants seeks to change that.

Saturday’s organizing and training session was the first in a series that will last through Dec. 18. The trainings are going Mindy Davenport was evicted from North Fork Mobile Home Park after living there for 25 years. | PHOTO COURTSEY OF JUSTICE 4 NORTH FORK on tour throughout Kentucky, but evictions. participants will be able to attend each For too long, according to Revlett, one remotely. the housing rights discourse on the state The first month of sessions is an legislative level has focused on passing introduction to housing justice, meant to “give tenants a shared grounding and URLTA across Kentucky. KY Tenants wants to organize renters, so that they understanding,” as Revlett put it. can push for even better protections.

From there, the workshops will KY Tenants is also taking part in a teach tenants how to organize to fight nationwide listening session with an for better housing. organization called Homes Guarantee, KY Tenants’ long-term goal is for tenants to collectively purchase housing talking to renters across the state. Its goal is to speak to 17,500. So far, it’s to live in and take care of. contacted over 1,000 in-person, over “We’re not going to let, you know, the phone and via text. the roach infestation last two months, With the tenant training, Davenport we’re not going to let the holes fall said she hopes to learn, so one day she through the roof,” said Revlett. “Whencan teach. ever it’s a democratically-controlled “Maybe one of these days, I can building, then those kinds of things will actually help somebody in a neighborget taken care of, and housing won’t hood that’s going through the same be a vehicle for investment for wealthy thing I just went through,” she said. developers, landlords and investors but “That’s my whole goal now is I just rather a place that’s actually home.” want people to know if you’re out Most counties and cities in Kenthere, this is happening to you, I’m tucky don’t have their own rental here. You can talk to me. If you just protections, said Revlett. Instead, they need to talk, that’s it; I’m here.” rely on common law, or legal precTo sign up for tenant training, visit edent. Some counties, like Jefferson, rootcauseresearch.org/tenanttraining. have adopted the Uniform Residential Previous organizing experience is not Landlord and Tenant Act, or URLTA. required. The next session, “Know Your This does provide some protections for tenants, such as requirements that living Rights: A Training for Tenants” is at Rowan County Public Library or via conditions adhere to certain standards, Zoom on Aug. 14 from 2-3:30 p.m.. and one for landlords to give notice The first Louisville training, “Profits before entering a renters’ home. But, Over People: Understanding the CurRevlett says it also can help landlords rent Housing System” is Aug. 21. • with properties in multiple jurisdictions by streamlining the process for

ROSE: BARSTOOL CRACKDOWN

Well, the University of Louisville has issued a statement to its athletes to cease participation with Barstool Sports.

What is Barstool sports? A pop culture blog run by a giant shit bag named Dave Portnoy who claims he is “uncancellable” after issues including sexist and racist comments in “comedy” videos surfaced this spring. The school advised students that using their name, image or likeness with Barstool doesn’t comply with rules laid out in an executive order from the governor or policies of the University. It looks as though, like most issues, the online commenters are split between “Barstool is garbage” and “Why do you hate athletes.” It seems pretty clear to me that not doing business with a person like Portnoy is pretty reasonable. So UofL, LEO is tossing you a rose for that. Portnoy, if you have to put people down to be funny, chances are your jokes are trash and you aren’t remotely funny.

ROSE: A FUNCTIONAL GOVERNMENT?

After Trump failed to ascend to God Emperor of Dune or whatever his wacko fan base believed, it seems that the former president, the Caligula of his era, is finally losing some power in the Republican Party. On Tuesday, the U.S. Senate passed a $1.2 trillion infrastructure package 69-30 that will boost the nation’s essential needs. It still has to pass through the House, but the package could send billions to Kentucky to improve highways, roads, bridges, broadband, airports and other things we use every day. Trump has spoken out against it because it would make Democrats look good, not because of any real reason. Even the Legislative Grim Reaper himself, who crushes hope for fun, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, supported it. But, guess who voted against it…

THORN: RAND PAUL

Rand Paul. Because of course he did. Anything that exits his mouth at this point is absurd. He’s just an obstructionist.

That’s all. He’s a walking thorn in Kentucky’s side.

ROSE: BACK TO SCHOOL

A preemptive rose to the parents who are sending their children back to school in appropriate masks and who have taken their eligible children to be vaccinated. Keeping our kids in school should be a priority but their safety, an even greater one. So for those parents who have done their duty to their children and for the rest of us...Thank you! For those protesting mask mandates, go read this week’s Editor’s Note. It’s for you.

Your Things Are Probably Not Worth What You Think They’re Worth

A Look At Louisville’s Vintage And Collectible Resale Market

By Jim Beggan | leo@leoweekly.com

PROBLEMATIC NEIGHBORS spurred me to move from a house near UofL to a much smaller place in the Highlands. My unfinished but spacious basement gave me ample room to store the vast majority of my collection of comic books, old magazines, books, VHS tapes, CDs, DVDs, Calphalon

cookware and extra furniture.

Because I did not want to live like a hoarder surrounded by cardboard boxes, with only a narrow path to traverse from the kitchen to the bathroom and on to the bedroom, I realized I would have to downsize: Throw it away, give it

away or donate it to charity. Better yet, if I sold my stuff, I could make tons of money. Or so I thought.

The only problem with that investment strategy is that for most things, it’s not worth as much as you think it’s worth.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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The checkout counter at Book and Music Exchange. | PHOTOS BY KATHRYN HARRINGTON.

THE RESALE SCENE IN LOUISVILLE

The supply of resale shops in Louisville goes from A to Z. We spoke to a few of them to learn more about the current state of the market.

At Acorn Apparel, you can find vintage clothing to dress like a 1950s bobby-soxer or beat the heat in a 1980s multi-color one-piece. Zwanky V, just a block further down Bardstown Road, offers a wide selection of unique T-shirts, among other things. The wide variety of stores available in Louisville means that people can find just about anything they want to buy. But it also means there is a large market for people to sell their unwanted possessions.

Alex Darnell, manager of the Book and Music Exchange at 1616 Bardstown Road, has been with the resale business for 15 years and a collector of different kinds of antiquated media for most of his life. As the name suggests, his store — nestled near the Bonnycastle-Bardstown Road intersection — is jammed with DVDs, VHS tapes, books, video games and CDs.

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Less than two miles away, at 994 Barrett Ave., Fat Rabbit 21 years and respects the fact that “vintage things were made Thrift & Vintage owner Jeff Komara focuses on apparel. to last forever.”

Clothing dominates the front of the store, a long thin floor Card N All Gaming, located at 5534 New Cut Road, near plan with high ceilings and Iroquois Park, specialexposed ductwork. In the izes in video and trading back, there are records, card games, and tabletop One of the mainstays of the books, magazines and gaming. Co-owned by vintage Playboys (wrapped Louisville vintage scene, The Nitty Mason Barry and Zack in plastic and discreetly Saleh, the store has been in Gritty, at 996 Barrett Ave., offers business for five years, and marked 18+). Jeff has been in the resale business for 18 two floors of retro clothing from has a devoted following years, and Fat Rabbit has and plenty of space availthe 1920s to the 1980s, as well as able in-store to play games. been open for eight years.

One of the mainstays feels that owning a wide range of merchandise from Mason of the Louisville vintage the store has been a “fun scene, The Nitty Gritty, ride…taking something the same eras. at 996 Barrett Ave., offers from a side hustle to an two floors of retro clothactual business.” ing from the 1920s to the Despite the dominance 1980s, as well as a wide range of merchandise from the of streaming services like Netflix and Amazon, there is still a same eras. Owner Terri Burt has operated the shop for over place for brick-and-mortar stores in Louisville.

“Just like Heine Brothers’, the LEO has always been about our community. Local arts, restaurants, books, sports, theatre, film, music - the LEO covers it all, and goes deep into the stories and people of Louisville that no one else is able to. Plus, being named ‘The best place to pick up the LEO’ year after year by the readers of the LEO has been a fun part of the journey.”

— Heine Brothers’

www.heinebroscoffee.com

If you'd like a LEO Weekly rack at your business, email distribution@leoweekly.com LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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Rows of movies at Book and Music Exchange.

Darnell said that a lot of people turned to places like the Book and Music Exchange during COVID: “A lot of people found out that consuming digital media put them at the mercy of what those digital distribution services actually had to offer. Many came to find if they wanted to watch that old favorite movie, play that old game, or read that classic book, they were actually going to get their hands on a physical copy…So, we’ve enjoyed a resurgence of interest in many of the products that have always been our bread and butter.”

Burt said The Nitty Gritty does all sales in store, and said online markets detract from the magic of shopping for vintage items: “I don’t do eBay. I want people to feel and touch and try these treasures on.”

In contrast, Mason told me that his store has a very sophisticated website that allows him to be “transparent with our prices…type in a card and it will show you…exactly how much we’re going to give to you in cash or store credit.”

NEGOTIATING A SALE PRICE Everyone knows that just by driving a new car off the

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lot, you’ve lost several thousand dollars. No one expects to take a used car to a dealer and be offered more than the car was initially worth. But, it seems like our mindset is different with regard to items that are collectibles or that we think should be collectibles. As Darnell observes, “Having a book or movie that is worth more than its original retail price years after the point of purchase is the exception, not the rule. Especially in a world where millions of items are a keystroke away.”

The most self-evident reason that people sell their stuff is to make money. But why some things and not others?

Sometimes people sell possessions they never wanted in the first place, like heirlooms they have inherited from parents or grandparents.

People also develop a downsizing dream as a way to take control of their own lives by getting rid of what weighs them down, with the end goal being a simplified life. Burt and The Nitty Gritty help people downsize because she recognizes that the process can be “overwhelming.”

Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind as you lay out your special possessions is the difference between

a listing price and a selling price. Darnell notes that people can list merchandise for any price they want on a site like eBay or Amazon.

Komara says, “I could ask $600 for a bag of spatulas all day but that doesn’t mean somebody’s actually gonna buy it.” Alex points out the consequences for him as a dealer: “People also want to believe that what they have is as valuable as that item can possibly be, so finding a listing with an inflated price also inflates the seller’s idea of what their particular item is worth.” Darnell encourages using the advanced search function on eBay to see what items have sold for rather than for what they are listed. Sure enough, some sold items are much lower than the asking prices.

People who want to sell items overlook fixed costs and associated risks that small business operators have to take into account. Overhead, such as rent, or possible costs associated with selling an item (such as listing fees, the time and effort it takes to package and ship an object and the price of insurance) all factor into determining what a resale shop can offer a seller.

At Card N All Gaming, Barry observes that potential sell-

Nintendo 64 games at Book and Music Exchange.

ers’ happiness with an offer “goes either way. Some people is to give are shocked at the offer that we give them; other people are people kind of disappointed when we tell them that a card that they “the facts thought was $10,000 is one of the more common versions. about your It’s only 50 cents.” process…Or Darnell said, “Because items can have considerably more just simply showing them that you can get that same Blu-ray sentimental value than monetary value, people tend to get used on Amazon for 95 cents, so it isn’t really worth much. offended if you can only offer a fraction of that sentimentalMost folks are reasonable when you are just straight-up with ity in the form of currency. I can’t offer cash that equates to them.” your memories or connections to an item, nor do I intend When I think about the items that no one seems to want, I to.” am reminded of the Island of Misfit Toys, from the “Rudolph According to Barry, Pokémon the Red-Nosed Reindeer” animated cards are having a renaissance holiday special. They are the toys because “during the shutdown and with design flaws, quirks that make the pandemic…everyone was kind of When I think about children not want them. getting nostalgic… so many 20-someWhat are the misfit toys of today? the items that no things, 30-somethings had Pokémon Among those on Komara’s list cards growing up… kind of got back are “Disney VHS. Aunt Hazel’s Pat one seems to want, I into it.” Interest really took off when Boone records. That brand new James YouTuber Logan Paul started promotam reminded of the Patterson book.” One notable “not ing them. for Darnell is encyclopeIsland of Misfıt Toys, interested” One of the most sought after Pokédias, which he refers to as “massive mon cards is the first edition base from the ‘Rudolph the bricks of out-of-date information.” set Charizard, which is worth tens I make a mental note to toss my Red-Nosed Reindeer’ Compton’s Encyclopedia, which my of thousands of dollars. Of course, a price like that demands that the covwell-meaning parents bought in 1974 animated holiday eted object be in excellent condition. and does not index Watergate, the Because people played with Pokémon Challenger disaster, 9/11 or climate special. They are cards, Barry notes “very rarely do change. the toys with design we see things that are in truly great I feel sorry for people who are shape.” trying to get rid of a piano. In one flaws, quirks that According to Komara: “If someadvertisement for a “FREE Wurlitzer one isn’t happy with the offer that Piano,” the seller wrote, “I can help make children not I give them I’d prefer that they not get it into a truck. Should only take want them. take that offer. I don’t want someone 2-3 other adults to move. It’s not leaving my store feeling like they’ve ridiculously heavy.” Perhaps it’s not been cheated.” surprising that the listing was five What strategy does Darnell sugweeks old when I saw it. gest for dealing with angry or disappointed customers?

For many unwanted items, the best solution is a black, “Listening. Everyone wants to be heard, everyone wants to heavy-duty trash bag and the large garbage can provided be understood.”

by Louisville Metro Public Works. If you’re lucky enough Komara feels that a good way to dispel disappointment to have access to a dumpster, even better. You can take the

The checkout counter at Fat Rabbit Thrift & Vintage.

green approach and recycle or donate to charity.

Burt helps people clean out their own homes or homes of relatives. Her philosophy is that “there’s a place for everything… the work is find the right home for the right things.

Does some of this go to Kentucky Refugee Ministries to help families… does it have life to go to a vintage store and be worn again?”

A word of warning for those who want to try the charity route. For the average person, donating possessions does not work as a tax write off because the standard deduction — at $12,400 for a single person or $24,800 for a married couple filing jointly — is larger than how much you could accrue by itemizing deductions for donations.

WHY WE OVERVALUE

People have the unique ability to connect psychologically to objects. I did research that showed people enhance the value of an owned object merely because it is owned, a phenomenon I called the mere ownership effect. The mere ownership effect is a specific instance of a general tendency for people to see themselves as better than they are. The psychological logic is that since I am good, what I own must be good, and as a result, I will ask for a high price to sell it.

Another reason why people overvalue their possessions is that they associate the object with memories of past events or friends and family members. As Komara notes, “Just because your #1 Grandpa mug was grandpa’s favorite doesn’t mean it has monetary value.” The boost in value will not apply to people who do not share those memories. Burt’s strategy is to ask, “Are these family pieces?” She can use this question to “gauge…how passionate they’re going to be about this stuff.”

Barry noted that fads develop from a combination of nostalgia and increased earning potential that develops as people get older. “As the years go by, people that couldn’t afford things…have disposable income now and are able LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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Items for sale at Fat Rabbit Thrift & Vintage.

to buy that stuff back.” He identifies a 15-to-20 year delay between when a cohort of children embraced a fad and when that fad becomes the focus of collectors.

A third reason people overvalue what they want to sell is that they have seen others luck into outrageous good fortune, an expectation fueled by television shows like Antiques Roadshow.

Subtle differences between what they have and what they see other people selling can influence a dealer’s offer.

For books, there is usually a bump in value associated with a first edition. The first appearance of a superhero or villain is usually worth more than the second appearance. When I showed Darnell my copy of Abbie Hoffman’s “Steal This Book,” he pointed out that it was a third edition and, consequently, worth less.

Scarcity often leads to increased value. The “Death of Superman” comic isn’t worth that much because so many people bought copies, hoping they would increase in value.

People who believe there’s a scarcity might expect more for their stuff. As Komara notes, “Some folks tend to overvalue their records because they are popular again amongst a more

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mainstream crowd.” Barry feels the Pokémon market may be cooling and reports that some people have bought expensive cards that have subsequently gone down in value.

The baby boomer generation has been accused of ruining the future for subsequent generations. Think about the ravages of climate change, the deficit and the bankruptcy of Social Security. One way millennials are getting their revenge on baby boomers is by rejecting their stuff. Millennials just don’t want what baby boomers have, even if it’s free. Think crystal, silverware made of real silver and heavy furniture. Lindsay Sheldon, one of principals at Happy Dance Quilting, a company that repurposes T-shirts into quilts, located at 650 S. Shelby St., is a member of the millennial generation. She looks “with dread upon all the knickknacks and tchotchkes filling the horizontal and vertical surfaces of my mom’s and uncle’s homes, knowing it will fall to me to do something with all these things one day.”

For people trying to clear out a relative’s house, Burt feels, “If they get some kind of dollars, and they know it didn’t go into the dumpster, they’re pretty good with that.”

The one-third rule I learned from Darnell is that he will

offer about one-third of what he hopes he can get for the item.

Fat Rabbit Thrift & Vintage has a rack of clearance DVDs and VHS tapes. Partially covering the $3.00 price tag on Season 2 of Arrested Development is a mark-down sticker of $1.00. The fact that it is sitting there waiting for me to find hints that the average thrift store consumer doesn’t think it’s worth even that price.

I suppose the disappointment I feel when I discover my copy of the second season of Arrested Development (for which I paid retail) is essentially worthless is much less than what the people who made or starred in the show must feel.

This insight provides me with at least a little comfort when I realize that the 33 cents I might expect for my copy is probably less than the cost of the gas to drive it to the store. • Jim Beggan is a professor of sociology at UofL. He regularly teaches classes on human sexuality, social problems and the self in society. He has published research on topics including the representation of gender and stereotypes in pornography, sexual decision making and social deviance.

VOTE FOR YOUR

LOCAL FAVORITES

Help Keep Louisville Weird and support for the people, places, organizations and businesses you love!

LEO’s annual Readers’ Choice ballot is live at

vote.leoweekly.com with 212 categories, including: • Best of Local Music • Best Bar and Restaurant in Each Neighborhood • Best Local Shops, from Vintage to Groceries • Best Local Services, from Tattooing to Plumbing Vote for all or only one — you decide. One ballot accepted per each email address per day. Voting closes 11:59 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 1. Results will be published in our Oct. 13 issue and celebrated at our annual Readers’ Choice Party!

LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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STAFF PICKS FRIDAY, AUG. 13

Kentuckiana Pride Foundation Presents “Community Turnabout”

FRIDAY, AUG. 13 - 14

The String Cheese Incident Celebrating 25 Years

The Iroquois Amphitheater | 1080 Amphitheater Road | iroquoisamphitheater.com | Tickets start at 49.50 | 7 p.m.

Colorado jam outfit The String Cheese Incident brings their 25-year celebration to LouisMUSIC ville. The band plays their brand of roots, reggae and psychedelia, including a tripped-out stage show. Jam band loyalists won’t want to miss this concert which will run for two nights. This should give as many fans as possible the chance to see this band before they take their celebration on to another city. —Erica Rucker

Play Louisville | 1101 E. Washington St. | Search Facebook | $10. | 8 p.m.

It’s always a good weekend to go to a drag show, but this Friday is the annual fundraiser for the Kentuckiana Pride Foundation, an advocacy and events COMMUNITY group that does a ton of good for our community. It will be a night of performances, celebration and raising money — funds that will make Louisville a better place. —LEO

SATURDAY, AUG. 14

FRIDAY, AUG. 13-14

Giancarlo Bernini

J&B Magic Shop and Theater | 129 E. Spring St. | newalbanymagic.com | $25-$30 | 7-8 p.m.

Magician Giancarlo Bernini makes a stop in New Albany for a performance. You may have seen his talents on “Penn & Teller: Fool Us,” where he demonstrated a MAGICAL working time machine, or heard them on Sirius XM when he read minds.

Whatever he’s doing this week, you’ll be amazed. —LEO

First Annual Marcus Garvey Day Festival and Black Market Celebration African American Heritage Center | 1701 W. Muhammad Ali Boulevard | Search Facebook | Donation-based | 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

A who’s who of Louisville civil rights leaders will speak at this educational event, which doubles as a fundraiser for Self Esteem Inc., a nonprofit that provides self CELEBRATE esteem training for girls and adult women. The lineup includes Mattie Jones, Breonna Taylor’s mother Tamika Palmer, Pan-African Studies Department Chair Ricky Jones, state Sen. Gerald Neal and eight more. There will be performances, too, from the West Louisville Boys Choir, The Real Young Prodigy’s and more. —LEO

xxx.

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STAFF PICKS

SATURDAY, AUG. 14

SATURDAY, AUG. 14

Louisville Water Tower | 3005 River Road | keeplouisvilleweird.com/buylocalfair | Free but parking is $6 in advance and $8 at the gate | 12 p.m. - 5 p.m.

Flamingo Lounge | 119 S. 7th St. | Search Facebook | $10 | 8 p.m.

LIBA’s Buy Local Fair

LIBA will host its Buy Local Fair at the Louisville Watertower this weekend. The fair includes booths from Bomba Egg Rolls, Shop Bar and many, many more. The event is LOCAL free, but there is a charge for parking. The funds help to support the Buy Local/ Keep Louisville Weird campaigns. There will be lots of local handmade goods and entertainment. Cox’s Spirit Shoppe and Smoker’s outlet will be sponsoring a Back Porch where adult fairgoers can have a sip while relaxing. —LEO

Buddy Crime, Golomb, Introvert Through dense and dark electropop that has a robotic LIVE lean, Buddy Crime pairs thoughtful, futuristic sensibilities with a visceral, dance-your-assoff backbone. Golumb from Columbus and Introvert will open. The local music ecosystem is starting to awaken —support it. —Scott Recker

SUNDAY, AUG. 15

Reggae Reunion at the Park

SATURDAY, AUG. 14

August Outdoor Biergarten!

Breslin Park | The Corner of Lexington Road and Payne Street | Search Facebook | No cover | 1 p.m. - 8 p.m.

German American Club | 1840 Lincoln Ave. | Search Facebook | Free | 6 p.m.

In celebration of Jamaican Independence, the Reggae Reunion in the park will celebrate with reggae music and food from Jamaica, Trinidad and America. The music GROOVE will span the reggae genres of dancehall, Afrobeats, soca and roots reggae.

A perfect way to cap the weekend. —LEO

The German American Club knows how WUNDERBAR to throw a party. With a range of imported beer, live music and German food, you can’t go wrong, especially during the warmer months when these events are held in their massive outdoor space. Expect things like schnitzel, Spätzle, Bratwurst, Sauerkraut and beer, lots of beer.

—LEO

xxx.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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STAFF PICKS

THROUGH AUG. 21

‘We All Come And Go Unknown’ By John Brooks Moremen Gallery | 710 W. Main St. | moremengallery.com | Free

UPCOMING EVENTS SEP. 16

8th Annual Margaritas in the ‘Ville

“We All Come and Go Unknown” features new ART works by local artist John Brooks. The solo show by the Quappi Project gallerist consists of paintings illustrating his usual quest for “the mysteries of being,” he said.

“These curious and emotionally-charged compositions are imbued with longing, uncertainty, wry humor, sensuality and remote desire.” The gallery is also showing works by Sara Olshansky and Ceirra Evans. — Jo Anne Triplett

Captain’s Quarters

THROUGH OCT. 31

Shrubs and Reductions Make & Muddle

Martinis

THROUGH DEC. 31

Make & Muddle

THROUGH JAN. 18

Hot Toddies Make & Muddle

‘An Irrevocable Condition” by John Brooks. Oil on canvas.

THROUGH FEB. 13

‘The Unforeseen Wilderness’ By Ralph Eugene Meatyard Speed Art Museum | 2035 S. Third St. | speedmuseum.org | Prices vary

This exhibition features three items beloved in Kentucky: Red River Gorge, writer Wendell Berry and photographer Gene Meatyard (1925-72). From 1967 to 1971, EXHIBITION Berry and Meatyard traveled together throughout the Red River Gorge, taking photographs and writing essays, all to create a call for its preservation. The Speed Art Museum has one of only three full sets of the 56 photographs from the excursion. —Jo Anne Triplett

https://redpintix.com/ ‘Untitled’ by Ralph Eugene Meatyard. Gelatin silver print.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

MUSIC

6 GREAT LOCAL SONGS RELEASED LAST MONTH

By Syd Bishop | leo@leoweekly.com

FOR this week’s column, I’m looking at some of the highlights from the month of July. This isn’t a ranked list and it never will be, because art isn’t a competition. Instead, this is just the stuff that got me motivated this month, the kind of music you want to share with your friends. Won’t you be my friend?

TED TYRO

INNER WORLD

There is something comforting in the continued output of Ted Tyro, as the band usually drops singles or pairs, at best. On “Inner World,” Ted Tyro continues to produce four-track jams from the heartland — slacker rock, light on the slacker, but heavy on the hooks. Lyrically, the band explores the consequences of a life plugged in, the offloading of memory onto external — and often monitored — devices. The lyrics run in contrast to the no-wave punk that propels the song, a catchy number with jangling guitars and soft-sung vocals. Somehow, Ted Tyro has made introspection fun at parties, and it rules. • Link: https://tedtyro.bandcamp.com/album/inner-world

DESYNC

DISCONNECT ME

The sub-bass throb of “Disconnect Me” by Desync is a dense melange of sounds and textures, from samples quietly whispering to the listener, to the sawtooth growl of a synth seething. As part of the Incantations EP, the track is part of a space-horror-themed release that broods and scowls in the cold clutches of the void. As such, the emphasis is on developing an atmosphere — or lack thereof, since this is space — both through repetition and the detuned sounds of the instruments, that are unsettling,

though familiar and warm. • Link: https://desyncsounds.bandcamp.com/track/disconnect-me

DELAFAYE

I’M ALWAYS OKAY

For a good while now, singer-songwriter Delafaye has been quietly plugging away, penning tender and heartfelt songs that are touching and impart a sense of gravitas.

With “I’m Always Okay,” one of the singles off of his upcoming album, Rose, the artist continues his work exploring the turmoil of the inner world. Here, Delafaye examines the state of the soul, be that his or otherwise, in an insulated and isolated world that reflects the travails of life in quarantine. Compositionally, this is cool and jangly, the music building in tension trhough small, incremental changes that never explode into violence or anger. • Link: https://delafaye.bandcamp.com/track/im-always-okay

ANDREW JACK$ON I DO THIS

Getting the Father Jah seal of approval is enough to give a track a listen. Emcee Andrew Jack$on has the delivery of Busta Rhymes and the soul of East Coast hip-hop.

There is a bounce to this track that wants you to get just as grimy, to roll up with your friends and just let it all hang out. This is 100% party music, and damn good at it.

With “I Do This,” Jack$on proves that he can do just that — drop bars with the best of them. When Jack$on raps that “He doesn’t use the internet, cause I don’t care about the status,” you believe him — this is an emcee that isn’t interested in bullshit, just living life to the fullest and it comes through in the music. • Link: https://soundcloud.com/father-jah/ andrew-jackon-i-do-this

MEDICAL SNAKE II TV DREAM

ASSERTER

THE DREAM ROOM

Imagine having a morning coffee, getting caffeinated and ready for whatever the day might present. Your mind is at ease, but in motion all at once, propelled by the morning brown in your veins. It’s this sense of movement, an ever-shifting background that is a morass of sounds and textures, that serve as the basis for “The Dream Room” by Asserter. A track from Soundscapes|FourthWorld 20-21, the Dream Room is both busy and ambient all at once, a true delight to the ears. As such, there is peace to be found in the chaos, a swirl of noises and other aural treasures that pan rapidly around your brain. As the track resolves into a shadow of calm, so too does the ambience, fading into the distance as if you’ve left the shuffle of “The Dream Room” behind. • Link: https://asserter.bandcamp.

With “TV Dream,” Medical Snake II blends Motown, electro and vaporwave into one hyperimaginative whole.

The track is predicated on heavy sampling, to the degree that this song feels just as illegal as anything Negativland ever did, but with the pop sensibility of The Avalanche. As such, there is a playfulness to this track that has a cyberpunk soul, a pastiche of styles and genres literally cobbled together from the constituent bits of others. “TV Dream” serves simultaneously as commentary on the massive amount of media that we all consume each and everyday, finding meditation and groove in the static. • Link: https://medicalsnakeii.bandcamp.com/track/tv-dream

com/track/the-dream-room

LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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FOOD & DRINK

RECOMMENDED

NERD OUT ON INDIAN REGIONAL DELIGHTS AT BOMBAY GRILL

By Robin Garr | LouisvilleHotBytes.com MAYBE I’m a nerd. Okay, I probably am.

But I love discovering the geography behind what I eat. I can travel around the world in my imagination, sailing from continent to continent on a dinner plate. Or better yet, I can learn about my international neighbors by savoring what they eat.

Consider our delicious lunch for three at Bombay Grill. We didn’t just enjoy excellent food. We enjoyed the fare of India’s Chettinad, Andhra and Chennai regions — and more. To my mind, learning about world food while I enjoy it adds real dimension to my meal.

No, the menu doesn’t include a map or all these details. You’ll have to bring your own search engine if you want to nerd out on Andhra, Chettinad, Chennai, Mysore — even Bombay, the huge Western Indian city that has shed that British colonial name in favor of Mumbai.

In many visits to Bombay Grill since it opened in 2008, I haven’t been disappointed yet, and there’s plenty to choose from: The two-page bill of fare is tightly packed with small print representing more than 150 dishes, helpfully categorized by the type of

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dish or primary ingredient.

It’s all quite affordable, with a halfdozen goat specialties and a dozen lamb entrees topping the price range at $14.99$15.99. If goat and lamb are too meaty for you, nearly 30 vegetarian specialities are $10.99-$11.99; eight chicken entrees are all $11.99; and a half-dozen fish or shrimp main courses are all $13.99.

Tandoor clay oven dishes are $12.99$13.99; rice-based biryani platters are $10.99-$14.99; a selection of dosas $8.99$10.99; and 10 Indo-Chinese entrees are $9.99-$11.99. A dozen Indian breads are $1.99-$3.99. Lunch sampler platters, available only for dining-in on Mondays through Thursdays, are $8.99 for a veg platter, $9.99 for a meat platter and $10.99 for a combination.

My sister, Amy, was visiting from Florida last week, and she joined Mary and me for a filling, leisurely lunch. (If you go, by the way, bring your patience game. A sign taped to the front door cautions, “Please expect delay in dine-in service due to shortage of employees. Sorry for any inconvenience …we appreciate your patience and

Goat Chettinad, named after the Chettinad region of Tamil Nadu in South India, was intensely flavored with the complex aromatics that make Indian food fascinating. | PHOTOS BY ROBIN GARR.

Bombay Grill’s thrifty veg platter lunch special offers three curries, app, rice, naan, soup and more.

FOOD & DRINK

Bombay Grill’s lassi, an Indian yogurt drink, is thick and rich, with a distinct scent of cumin.

business.” That’s reasonable, sadly, in this complicated pandemic recovery period.)

A couple of Indian yogurt lassis ($2.99), kept us busy while we waited, although I nursed mine in hope of having it handy when our fiery options arrived. They were very good, chilled, with cumin and other spices adding aromatic flavors to the thick, rich yogurt drink.

Our tour of Indian regions began with an impressive masala dosa ($8.99), an iconic brunch dish that’s popular all over south India and is said to have originated in Chennai, an industrial city on India’s southeastern coast that the British colonizers called Madras. A browned, crisp rice-flour crepe is folded over a spicy filling of soft, long-simmered potatoes and sauteed onions tinged yellow with turmeric and kicked up with Indian spice. Tear off a chunk, dip it or accompany it with a spoonful of thick brown sambar vegetable soup; and, if you dare, add a dollop of fiery white coconut chutney.

Chettinad, a region in Tamil Nadu near India’s southern tip, is known for banking and 19th century mansions. Much of its cuisine is vegetarian because of its majority of meat-shunning Tamil Brahmins, according to The Times of India.

But our dish from the region was decidedly meaty: Chettinad-style goat ($14.99).

To be honest, goat meat is gamey and strong — an advantage if you like it that way. It generally comes along with firmly attached bone, gristle, sinew and connective tissue.

It’s good, though, particularly in this setting: Long-simmered, falling off the bone and intensely flavored with a mixed blend

of spices almost impossible to pick out.

Ordered at the lower end of Bombay Grill’s 1-to-6 heat scale, it was pleasantly warm with little burn.

The bowls of fluffy, perfectly cooked basmati rice that came with our meal, along with tender, tandoori-fired naan bread ($2.99), made perfect accompaniments to the goat and another dish, vegetable igguru ($11.99), a mixed-vegetable stew in the style of Andhra, an eastern Indian province on the Bay of Benghal. It was hard to discern all the mixed veggies in this thick, fiery stew, but I found green beans, onions, potatoes, carrots and peas in a delicious flavor and texture blend. Four-level heat was just about right for me.

My sister, who’s not too familiar with Indian cuisine, opted for a lunch special veg platter ($8.99) and was happy with the results. Placed in separate indentations in a shiny aluminum platter and served without identification were small portions from all over India: what appeared to be paneer tikka, vegetable stew, chickpea channa masala, sambar soup, basmati rice, naan and kheer (rice pudding). With minimum heat, it made her happy, and I liked it all too.

Lunch for three was $57.17, plus a 20 percent tip.••

@leoweekly

BOMBAY GRILL

216 N. Hurstbourne Parkway 425-8892 bombaygrillky.com

LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

THERESA CAPUTO FINDS THE SPIRIT AND HER WAY TO THE STAGE AT THE LOUISVILLE PALACE

By Erica Rucker | erucker@leoweekly.com

THERESA CAPUTO, also known as the Long Island Medium, will be bringing her stage show to the Louisville Palace Theater on Sunday, Aug. 15. Caputo will be channeling spirits and letting them guide her through the evening. An evening with a medium seems as though it might be unusual and Caputo has plenty of skeptics, but LEO believes that anything is possible. We caught up with Caputo to talk about her career and what it’s like to speak with those on the other side.

LEO: You’re coming to Louisville, what can people expect from a live experience with you?

Theresa Caputo: So what happens in a live experience is: I come out on the stage, I give a little quick speech on how I read, communicate with the folks who have departed and basically what everyone can expect over the next two hours. And then, once they’re communicating with me, I am off that stage. I am down in the crowd right in front of you delivering the messages from your departed loved ones.

Do you know who you’re going to read beforehand?

I don’t know who’s going to get read, what the spirit is going to have me say or not have me say. Also, one of the reasons why — we’re also still compliant with CDC regulations of where I will be wearing a mask and we request that everyone in the audience wear a mask as well, to be that.

I was wondering about safety precautions with this new variant on the rise.

Absolutely. Yeah. I am vaccinated, my entire crew is vaccinated, we still wear our mask all the time because what people don’t realize is, I have a show every day, we wake up in a different city every day, exposed to so many different people and, you know, we cannot, I would then have to cancel show then, you know, so we’re really doing everything that we can to be extra... We’re taking extra measures, measures above and beyond, you know, to keep everyone safe.

This is true. It is very expensive to have to cancel or stop a show.

You know what, and I think, like, people aren’t aware of... I certainly wasn’t aware

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of how much work and what goes into producing a show. I mean, it’s not just like, yeah, I just came out on a stage. We have a cameraman. We have someone working the switcher, but I mean, there are stagehands. They can be up to another hundred people that we’re coming into contact with. And I think we’re very blessed to be back out on the road and working and entertainment coming back, but we have to do, like everything else, we have to take baby steps. You know, I let the audience know I understand everyone’s vaccinated and we’re tired of wearing a mask, but if I have to wear a mask to go to a show, but I’m back to work and everyone can have live entertainment again, you know what, then I’ll wear a mask, you know, exactly.

When did you recognize that you have the gift to speak with spirits?

I didn’t realize that I had this ability until I was later in my 20s. I’ve been sensing and feeling spirits since I’m four.

And I would say things to my parents and my family members. No one ever made a big deal about anything. I would say to my mom at times, ‘I don’t feel right. I feel different than everyone else. I feel like I don’t belong here.’ And my mom would actually say to me, ‘Well, you’re not adopted.’ So if I was, you could understand that feeling.

And, you know, everyone just kind of embraced what I was saying and no one ever made a big deal about it, and I am a practicing Catholic. Once I found out about my gifts that are — not only did I have the ability to connect with my own departed loved ones, because that’s what I think we all can, we all have that ability to connect with our loved ones. I just have the ability to be able to connect with everyone else’s loved ones. And I struggled with my gift for probably over five years after discovering this.

What did you want to be before becoming a medium?

I say it all the time. I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. You know, growing up, I was going to be a legal secretary, at one point. So just a lot of different things. And, I had worked for many years for an oil company in customer service and

Theresa Caputo.

Theresa Caputo.

in the credit department. Then I worked for my ex-husband business from my home while I was doing my readings at home.

Have you encountered an angry spirit?

I have not had that experience. So [in] my conversations with, if you say, God, and my spirit guides, like if ‘I was going to do this for living, I only want positive things.

I only want information of things that are going to help someone.’ If there has been situations where hypothetically somebody’s father will be channeling and apologizing to someone. When that happens, that is when the soul learns lessons — where the soul has to live their life through people’s eyes here in the physical world that they heard were disappointed.

What do you say to critics?

As far as the question of like, naysayers, listen, I respect it. I get it. I’m the first one to say that what I do is absolutely crazy. There was no way that someone can communicate with someone that has died. I am the first one to say it, but I sense and feel things that mean nothing to me, but I was changing to the person that I’m sitting in front of and spirit talks about things that there is no way I would know about. I love how people say, ‘Oh, this is how she does it. She does this.’

I don’t even know how this works. It just happened. I was born this way. • Tickets to see Theresa Caputo at The Louisville Palace at 3 p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 15 start at $59. Visit louisvillepalace.com for more info.

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021

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PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON

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SAVAGE LOVE

By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage

REUNION BLUES

Q: I fell in love with my second cousin about four years ago at a family reunion.

(I hadn’t laid eyes on him since I was a kid!) I was fifteen when we met, he was two years older, and we were in a longdistance relationship for three years. We ended things a year ago and I’m going to be seeing him for the first time since our breakup at another family reunion this fall.

He’s bringing his new girlfriend. Do I have a responsibility to make her feel comfortable? Do I avoid him and risk family drama? I’ve done so much to work through this, Dan, and I’d love to see this as a healthy exercise in staying true to myself.

Cancel On Upcoming Shindig?

I’m Not Sure!

A: I’m hoping it was just the usual heartache you had to work through after this relationship ended—by which I mean to say, COUSINS, I’m hoping your ex-boyfriend (and current second cousin) wasn’t emotionally or physically abusive and you weren’t working through trauma. And I’m hoping you didn’t get too much grief about dating your second cousin from other family members. (First cousins can legally marry all over the world!)

Assuming your ex was only guilty of breaking your heart (a risk we take when dating anyone), you should approach this family reunion like any mature adult who finds herself at a wedding or a funeral or a holiday party with an ex. You slap a smile on your face and say hello to your ex, you tell his new girlfriend it’s nice to meet her, and then you avoid both of them for the rest of day.

If you’re worried about getting trapped in a conversation with either or both of them, COUSINS, and don’t have it in you to say, “I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, I gotta go take a monster shit,” then deputize someone to run interference for you. Your designated interferer should stay by your side as much as possible, COUSINS, and if you get separated and they see you trapped in an extended conversation with your ex or his new girlfriend, COUSINS, it’s their job to swoop in and rescue you.

And if family members gave you grief about dating your second cousin—if you were subjected to more than some gentle awkwardness-acknowledging, tension-releasing ribbing about the situation—and that grief was the source of whatever you had to work through since breaking up with the guy who was essentially your high school boyfriend (a guy you were always gonna breakup with

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at some point), COUSINS, then this reunion is an opportunity to tell those people to go fuck themselves.

Q: Should I worry about my son who is 24 years old, straight, cute, has friends and is also a virgin?

Mulling Over Moments A: You can tell a mom not to worry but a mom is still gonna worry, MOM, so you go right ahead and worry. But if your son knows he can talk with you about anything and he’s chosen not to talk with you about this, MOM, and if your son isn’t upset about it or otherwise miserable, leave him alone. If he has friends—and you say that he does— then he has peers he can confide in about his love life, assuming he wants one, and open up to about his sexual inexperience, if he regards it as a problem, MOM, which he may not.

Q: I’ve been reading you for many years.

You have great language skills. But your use of “gonna” and “wanna” for “going to” and “want to” just comes across as adolescent and condescending. You’re too old to be using that sort of lingo, Dan. Please respect yourself and your readers.

Griping Over Nauseatingly Nonsensical Affectations A: You’re gonna hafta pry those “gonnas” and “wannas” outta my cold, dead hands, GONNA, if you wanna get ‘em outta my column.

Q: Three months ago, I came out as polyamorous in an email I sent to my immediate and my entire extended family, because I’m done asking one of my partners to pretend he’s “our roommate” when my parents or siblings come to visit, and it hurts me so much to exclude him from family events and holidays. (And it hurts him too.) My whole family is getting together over Labor Day Weekend and all three of us are planning to go. Is there any way to avoid awkwardness?

Bringing All My Boyfriends Inside A: Nope.

P.S. They’ll get used to you being poly, you’ll get used to them knowing you’re poly, and it’ll get less awkward over time.

But there’s no way to avoid that first blast of pure awkwardness. Instead of trying to

avoid it, BAMBI, try to have a sense of humor about it.

Q: I was raised in a conservative batshit household and equally batshit church. The youth leader, who was my best friend’s stepdad and who I viewed as a father figure, was a sexual predator. When I was seventeen, he started asking me for sex and also told me he’d thought of me “that way” since I was twelve. I found out later he got a woman with a mental disability pregnant, and my childhood best friend has hinted to me that he assaulted her as well.

Much to my rage, this guy’s wife, this church, and even my own parents never went after this guy legally or otherwise. Outrageously, he’s still a member in good standing of this same church. A few days ago, a different childhood friend died.

He was my best friend’s cousin, and we all grew up together. Obviously, this asshole will be at the funeral.

I’m determined to be there to support my friend but how do I interact with this predator without causing a scene? I don’t want to make this sad reunion about me, but I refuse to entertain this guy in any way. Any thoughts on telling him to go fuck himself?

Feels Uncomfortable Near Extremely Religious Asshole Lowlifes A: Your childhood best friend dropped hints about being assaulted by this man—her stepfather—but she never actually came out and told you that. But you know for a fact that he preyed on a mentally disabled woman and that he sexually harassed you when you were a minor. And like so many sexual predators on altars, this asshole got away with it. There haven’t been any consequences, no accountability, and he’s still in a position—a position of spiritual authority—where he can (and probably does) abuse and exploit other vulnerable women and girls.

Ugh. I’m pro telling this asshole to go fuck himself at the funeral—loudly—but there’s something you could do before the funeral.

While you can’t control what your parents or this church have done or failed to do, FUNERAL, and while your childhood best

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friend’s story isn’t yours to tell—and you don’t know or don’t officially know the full story—you can tell your own story. You can report this asshole to the pious lowlifes who run this fucking church and file a police report at the same time. Oh, and make sure to let those church leaders know you filed BY a police report. While there’s no guarantee they’ll act against this creep after getting a report of sexual abuse (see Catholic Church, 1 sex abuse scandals), they’ll at least know 4 they’re leaving themselves open to potential 7 financial consequences if they fail to act 12 (see Catholic Church, sex abuse scandal settlements).

15 I’ve been to a few funerals in my time, FUNERAL, and it’s not the people at 18 20 the funeral we tend to remember—it’s the people who were 21 there for us before the funeral 23 and after. Head home, be there for your old 24 friend, and feel 25 free to skip 26 the funeral if that 27 asshole 28 is gonna be 29 there.

32 33 mail@savagelove.net 35 Follow Dan on Twitter 36 @FakeDanSavage.

37 www.savagelovecast.com 38 41

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LEGAL The following will be sold at Tony’s Wrecker Service, 3311 Collins Ln. 426-4100 to recover towing- storage fees on Aug. 11th 2021, 8 a.m. Titles not warranted. Seller reserves the right to bid. 15 Audi A4 VIN# WAUBFAFL0FN034186 Owner Santander Consumer USA; 18 Chev 1500 VIN#3GCUKREC9EG205113 Owner Sedgwick; and 07 GMC Sierra VIN# 1GTEK29029Z262660 Owner Auto Club Ins. IN THE COURT OF COMMON PLEAS, SCIOTO COUNTY, OHIO, GENERAL DIVISION COMPLAINT TO QUIET TITLE. Case No. 21CIH063. To Whom it may concern, Earl Tong is taking possession of property at 6527 Harding Ave., Portsmouth OH 45662, previously owned by Arnold Pennington and Kevin Chandler. To anyone with any claim to property, contact the Clerk of Courts or Probate Court at Scioto County Courthouse.

PD T: July 7, 2021 Captain’s Quarters Riverside Grille is now hiring for all the back of house positions.

Starting hourly rates for all positions is $15.00/HR. Please apply via our website @ www. cqriverside.com Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 2009 White ford Escape VIN # 1FMCU03759KC38966, Owner Ronnie Brock of Hoskinston KY 40844 Lien Holder: None Unless owner or lienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice.

Leo’s Towing & Recovery, 510 E Broadway, Louisville, KY 40202 (502)-727-9503, has intention to obtain title of a 2004 Toyota Matrix Silver VIN #2T1KY32E44C169087, Owner Aaron Terry of Louisville KY 40207 Lien Holder: None Unless owner orlienholder objects in written form within 14 days after the last publication of this notice.

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100 Male mallard 101 Certain caucus voter 103 1938 prize for Pearl S. Buck 104 Big name in trading cards 106 W.W. I Belgian battle locale 107 Green with the 2010 hit ‘‘Forget You’’ 108 Enlighten 110 Roger’s cousin?

113 Ireland, poetically 116 Smartphone network std.

117 Home to the Nittany Lions, for short

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Buffoon Brawler’s memento Is at the Forum?

Steamy place ____ Special Administrative Region of the People’s Republic of China For all to hear Unit in thermodynamics Chump Unaccounted for, briefly Fumble Went into syndication, e.g.

Singer Aguilera’s alter ego Star performances, maybe This is a test ‘‘Gee, that’s swell!’’

Like Vulcans, typically Central Asia’s ____ Mountains ‘‘Gloomy’’ guy ‘‘That’s just unacceptable’’ 1969-74, politically Tree that lends its name to a programming language Matured, in a way Like the three-toed sloth, among all animals New wings Tweaks Clear, as crystal Like Parmesan, but not mozzarella Bouncy jazz genre Noted book-club leader

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DOWN 1 They get the wheels turning 2 Like proverbial milk 3 Poet Neruda 4 Company that makes recoverable and reusable rocket boosters 5 Overdue amount 6 Content of a Kinder Egg 7 Like many Chardonnays 8 Last czarina of Russia 9 Celestial figure depicted in this puzzle’s grid, in Roman folklore 10 Unforgivable acts, say 11 iPhone button with an up arrow on it 12 Duty 13 About to enter the stage, say 14 Subject of Hokusai’s ‘‘Thirty-Six Views’’ 15 Delight (in) 16 Go on and on 17 Avant’s opposite 19 Celestial figure depicted in this puzzle’s grid, in African American folklore 22 Celestial figure depicted in this puzzle’s grid, in Babylonian folklore 30 Joe and co., e.g.

31 Sharing maternal lines 33 Excoriated 34 Akira Kurosawa film 38 Peacock streaming inits.

39 Italian time unit 40 Utter nonsense 42 Like five-star hotels vis-à-vis three-star ones 43 Gather 45 Rose of rock 46 Nickname on a ranch 47 Spanish title: Abbr.

49 Tower topper 50 Digital writing

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ACROSS Symbol of royalty in ancient Egypt Wouldn’t stand for it?

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Apple tablet option Popular analgesic Belgian city that hosted the 1920 Summer Olympics One of the rooms in Clue N.B.A. superstar Durant Voting ‘‘aye’’ Gilbert and ____ Islands (former colonial names of Kiribati and Tuvalu) Give way Levy of ‘‘Schitt’s Creek’’ When the Lascaux caves were painted Furthermore Much of Goya’s output Japanese beer brand San Francisco’s ____ Valley In which ‘‘Stella’’ means ‘‘star’’ Seaweed used to wrap sushi Descriptor of almost a million and a half Californians Porridge, essentially Real surname for the authors Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell With a yawn, say Less certain Onetime material for tennis-racket strings ‘‘That much is clear’’ Symbol of Mexico Country with roughly 6,000 islands Where a pop-up leads Alpha and Beta Ursae ____ (pointers to 68-Across) Noodle soup Guiding light Gentille figure of a French folk song Lord’s title Originally from Place to take a suit Executive producer of HBO’s ‘‘A Black Lady Sketch Show’’ Risk ‘‘____ Lang Syne’’ Pesky insect Something to notice in passing?

It’s between micro- and picoHorace’s ‘‘Hymn to Mercury,’’ for one New York political family Fifth-century conqueror defeated in the Battle of the Catalaunian Plains

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D R A K E

STAR SEARCH

BY CHANDI DEITMER / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

93 Rap’s Lil ____ X 94 Reliable supporters 95 Glazer of ‘‘Broad City’’ 97 Online source for film facts, in brief 99 Repugnance 102 Disguised 105 Author ____ Carol Oates 109 Wine that may be made spumante or frizzante 111 Little 112 Bested 114 Gritty, in a sense 115 Ones committing a party foul .?.?. or the images depicted in this puzzle’s grid?

118 Camping-gear brand 119 Letters before an alias 120 Surprising wins 121 Jeu d’____ (witticism) 122 Little one 123 Female mallard 124 Grommet 125 Black-eyed ____ (flowers) 126 Kind of protein in tempeh

O P R A H

The New York Times Magazine Crossword

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LEOWEEKLY.COM // AUGUST 11, 2021