LEO Weekly Dec 21, 2022

EDITOR’S NOTE

A PRAYER FOR PERMISSION TO LIVE. A PRAYER TO BE HUMAN.

By Erica Rucker | erucker@leoweekly.com

I THOUGHT initially that I would structure this as a prayer. I’m not religious but I understand the function, the meditativeness of prayer on things that we find troubling. To some degree, it is still that but I’m not talking to any god. I’m talking to you, the community.

In this holiday season, as we spend time with our families and reminisce about days gone by and those we have lost, I ask you to take a moment to remember those you don’t know but those who deserved to be here with us. Remember the 12 people who died, tragically in the hands of Louisville Metro Corrections.

In this week’s cover story, our news writer, Josh Wood, delves into the lives of some of the people lost in the custody of Louisville Metro Corrections. Instead, and like too many cases across the country, the only remedy for those society deems undesirable, better unseen, too challenging — or for those who too directly reflect the flaws in the American fabric back in the faces of those who don’t like seeing America as imperfect — is to lock them away, maybe to forget they exist.

Case after case, the deaths in Metro Corrections point to the fact that no one was looking. So, for various reasons — many petty and unnecessarily carceral — these people died because of a neglectful and cold system.

Being poor, being mentally ill, being out of step with what society calls normal, should not mean a death sentence in our justice system, but for too many it does.

Too often those in these situations have multiple intersecting issues and are incarcerated and kept because they can’t meet the bail amount to free themselves. So their incarceration becomes a poor tax.

These situations quickly become

uroborus ones where feeding and devouring itself happens in the same breath. The system preys upon the huddled masses that this nation has claimed to accept for more than 240 years. If you are tired, poor, hungry or any of the “wretched refuse” of this country, any one of these people in Wood’s story could be you. Or someone you know.

So, as you read about Buddy Stevens, Thomas “TJ” Bradshaw and Stephanie Dunbar, remember that above all of the issues and things that make them complicated people, they are people first. They were warm bodies that loved, hurt, made families and lived their complicated lives in a world out of step with what they needed. Remember, too, that these people were sacrificed to a system that isn’t created for the needs of human

TJ Bradshaw was arrested for panhandling — for asking for what he lacked, money. Whether it be for food, a place to lay his head or for drugs to forget the cruelty of his situation, he was simply asking for help. To be jailed for this is outrageous and to then lose one’s life because they simply asked for help is even more

Metro Corrections has asked, repeatedly, for a new facility, blaming their problems on a dilapidating facility that wasn’t even originally built to be a jail, antiquated intake and maintenance procedures. What could come first is to stop incarcerating people for things that don’t deserve a penal response. We could stop persecuting people for being broken, sad, poor or anything that isn’t pretty to look at. We could have some fucking compassion and let people be, even if we find it imperfect, unpalatable or uncomfortable. Everyone deserves, at least, the chance to live. To simply live. •

MARC MURPHY

REP. JOHN YARMUTH ON WHAT HE WILL AND WON’T MISS ABOUT CONGRESS

[Editor’s Note: In his final speech on the House floor on Dec. 14, retiring Rep. John Yarmuth laid out what he will and won’t miss about serving in Congress. The following is the transcription of his speech. Yarmuth — who founded LEO Weekly three decades ago and served 16 years in the House of Representatives — announced that he wouldn’t seek reelection back in Oct. 2021.In January, state Sen. Morgan McGarvey was elected to replace Yarmuth as the Congressperson for House District 3, which covers Louisville.]

MR. SPEAKER, several years ago I ran into a former member of the House, and I asked him whether he missed it. He answered, “I don’t miss the circus. I miss the clowns.”

Now that I’m in my final days as a Member and I’ve reflected on my 16 years here, I’m going to tweak that line. I won’t miss everything about the circus. And I will miss many — but not all — of the clowns.

I also now understand why so many people are afraid of clowns.

I definitely will miss speaking on the House Floor, so I will use my last appearance in this historic space to talk about what I will and won’t miss. I will miss the feeling that I’m part of history — if not always history I would brag about. I will miss the constant reminder that I have served in the same body as Abraham Lincoln, John Kennedy, John Lewis, and so many other amazing Americans.

I will miss the serious, thoughtful, and often noble discussions about how we can make a positive difference in the lives of so many Americans, even if we rarely make as big a difference as we’d want. And I will miss the give and take of policy debates, even though I know there was never a chance the debates would change anyone’s mind.

On the other hand, I won’t miss the reality that most of our rhetorical firepower is preaching to our respective choirs, and that too much of what we say comes from the devils and not the angels of our natures. I won’t miss the constant emphasis on raising money and the apparent conviction of some that only gobs of money can persuade enough voters to win elections.

I won’t miss the frustrating reality that

we rarely move quickly enough to deal with the challenges of a fast-moving world, and the fear that if this body doesn’t figure out how to work more expeditiously, we will continue to frustrate our citizens.

I will miss many of my colleagues, some of whom are now among my best friends — and yes, even some from across the aisle. They have broadened my perspective and reinforced my belief that, with all our flaws, we are essentially decent and caring people who tried to find better ways forward for our country. I respect them and thank them for their service and friendship. They are definitely not clowns.

I have so many other people to thank as I leave this body. Of course, I must thank my family for encouraging me to do this work and for excusing me for missing so much of their lives. And in recent years, my grandsons, J.D. and Rory for being constant reminders that what we do here has implications far beyond the moment.

I will be eternally grateful to the people of Louisville, who have given me the extraordinary honor and responsibility to represent them here.

As a former staffer, I knew that a great staff is essential for success. I have been blessed with phenomenal staff members throughout my eight terms. Thanks to every one of you. I’m also grateful to the staff of the House Budget Committee, which always made me look more competent and knowledgeable as the Chairman than I otherwise would have. Thanks to all the House support staff who serve quietly and effectively to keep this body functioning. Thanks to the Capitol Police who protect and defend us, and who showed the world on January 6, 2021, how brave and selfless they are. Thanks to all my Committee Chairs and Ranking Members whose examples kept me from screwing up any more than I did. Thanks and praise to Democratic Leadership: Speaker Pelosi, Steny Hoyer, and Jim

Clyburn, and for their friendship, trust, and inspiration.

Finally, I want to thank the person who has been with me every minute of my 16 years in the house. If Julie Carr is not the best Chief of Staff ever to serve here, there’s no better model to emulate. I often said that if she left me, I would retire the next day. Luckily, she stuck with me. And now, she will also leave the House after 25 years of service to me and others. The citizens of Louisville are, unbeknownst to them, much better off because of her work. And I was a better Member because of her intellect, judgment, dedication, and friendship. Thank you for everything, Julie.

So, I will leave the House proud of my work, grateful for the opportunity to serve here, and committed to continue to serve our great country and its people.

For the last time Mr. Speaker, I yield back the balance of my time.

John Yarmuth. SCREENSHOT VIA U.S. CONGRESS LIVESTREAM.

THE FIVE WORST HOLIDAY SONGS, RANKED

By Dan Canon | leo@leoweekly.com

AN OPINION COLUMNIST should not simply share stuff they’ve been thinking about. Readers have every right to expect an oped writer to purvey informed opinions; to answer the big questions of the day not with Kerouac-style riffing, but with reasoned logic supported by research, interviews, statistics and whatever else it might take to give the reader a basis to form their own informed opinions.

If not for columnists like me, people might hear one little news story about some legal or political matter, develop a half-assed opinion on it without knowing how things really are, and go blissfully about their day. My job is to insulate readers from this sort of tragedy. I dive into grim topics and bring you horrible, unvarnished truths — truths which tends to be considerably worse than you might have otherwise thought.

And so it is with bad holiday music, a topic which is not unlike law or politics. People talk about it, they have opinions on it, they think they know something about it. But the few of us who dig a little deeper discover that reality is quite different from what they assumed. Trust me on this: Just because you have a mild distaste for “Little Drummer Boy,” or you’ve been annoyed by a rendition of “Twelve Days of Christmas” in your dentist’s office, or you’ve decided to read your own relationship issues into “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” that doesn’t mean you know bad holiday music. Here for your displeasure is a polemic on the worst of the worst.

you filter a decent soul song through the pale cheesecloth of keyboard rock made exclusively by and for people of European ancestry. And gentle reader: if you are able to listen to this one without envisioning a specific sex act involving a thousand-yearold elf or a sixty-year-old rock idol, or both, you are of a purer constitution than I.

4.“CHRISTMAS BABY SHARK” — BOUNCE PATROL

The inclusion of this song on a worst-of list may seem like a cheap shot at a children’s song, or at least like lazy journalism. You might think I didn’t do the work to find something truly abysmal, so I picked this harmless-but-annoying low-hanging fruit that I am now trying to pass it off as a giant, steaming road apple. But have you listened to “Christmas Baby Shark?” ALL the way through? No, no you have not. I know you haven’t. If you had, you wouldn’t be reading this now, you’d be locked up somewhere to avoid harming yourself or those you love. This is the kind of song to which you must develop a tolerance before trying to devour it whole; it requires years of ingesting bits of grating standards like Barbara Streisand’s “Jingle Bells?” and Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Auld Lang Syne” before even attempting.

3.“SANTA CLAUS HAS GOT THE AIDS THIS YEAR” — TINY TIM

and was especially painful to the LGBTQ+ community — where Tiny Tim got his first big break. You think that Band Aid track about whether they know it’s Christmas in Africa is insensitive? Had this song received any airplay, it might have been a raft upon which listeners drifted into oblivion, leaving behind all hope for humanity.

2.“CHRISTMAS IS FOR THE BIRDS” — CONWAY TWITTY

As with the hair bands, there are plenty of country Christmas songs that are fucking terrible. These come in three varieties: 1) mangled classics, like Toby Keith’s “Silent Night,” which sounds like a cow getting strangled with a piano wire; 2) bizarre story songs, mostly from the 1970s, like “Billy’s Christmas Wish,” a gratuitously miserable piece in which the only thing the listener knows about any character is that nothing good ever happens to them, ever, not even the little boy who is abused by his stepfather after his father kills his mother’s boyfriend (spoiler: THE CHILD DIES AT THE END); and 3) songs featuring a positively diabolical chorus of robotic singing birds. There is only one song in this final category.

1.“THE CHRISTMAS SHOES” — NEWSONG

But on this point, they were right. By now “The Christmas Shoes” is universally reviled, and for good reason. Whatever elements you might think make a Christmas song bad — overwrought sentimentality, preachiness, singing children — all of them are present here. This agonizing five-minute exercise in self-congratulation is worse than “Waffle House Christmas”; worse than Skip Ewing’s “My Name Is Christmas Carol”; even worse than the entire Goo Goo Dolls Christmas album. Imagine taking a handful of those vomit-flavored Harry Potter jellybeans and cramming them into your ears, and you’re getting close to this listening experience. It is the sonic equivalent of waterboarding, or hemorrhoids, or having your knees broken by the seat in front of you on an economy-class flight. Did you know there’s a novel based on this song? And an entire full-length feature film starring Rob Lowe? I did not read/watch these. Even I have my limits.

The good news is that you’re not likely to hear these songs on accident; you’ve got to seek them out. Let this list therefore be a reminder to be thankful for all that we have, including the usual lineup of bad-but-notTHAT-bad music. •

5.“BACK DOOR SANTA” — BON JOVI

There are plenty of hair-band Christmas songs that could have made this list. Danger Danger’s “Naughty Naughty Xmas,” which promises to “deck the halls with Amber and Holly and all those naughty girls,” is a notable contender, as is AC/DC’s “Mistress for Christmas,” which — I swear to god — rhymes “jingle all the day” with “grope you in the hay.” I get that some of these songs are played for laughs, but this should make them no more redeemable to discerning listeners, especially if they aren’t funny.

This cover is more unforgivable than other misogynistic schlock because it’s a classic example of what happens when

There are holiday songs which may be considered bad from their very conception, either owing to a heinous mismatch between the artist and the song (the guy from Judas Priest singing “O Holy Night”) or because the idea of the song itself is bad (“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”), or because artist and song are both independently obnoxious and the mere suggestion of combining them constitutes blasphemy (think Celine Dion singing “Feliz Navidad”).

This song transcends those categories. Tiny Tim’s nagging soprano and pre-programmed synth would be unlistenably bad on its own, but it’s the historical context that should earn this song a place on any worstof list. In 1986, when this track was first released, AIDS wasn’t some extra-continental novelty illness. It was a full-blown epidemic that was killing people everywhere,

In 2011, Jezebel published the readers’ poll of worst Christmas songs, and this one topped the list. For the most part, Jezebel’s readers were wrong. One simply cannot trust any list that includes the delightful “Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey” but fails to mention Joe Diffie’s “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer,” to say nothing of the other songs on the eminently superior list you are reading now (though to be fair, “Christmas Baby Shark” had not yet burst forth from the anus of its ancient demon host in 2011).

Canon is a civil rights lawyer and law professor. His book “Pleading Out: How Plea Bargaining Creates a Permanent Criminal Class” is available wherever you get your books.

Dan

@leoweekly

CRITICISM GREETS LG&E/KU PLAN TO REPLACE COAL-FIRED POWER PLANTS WITH NATURAL GAS, SOLAR

By Liam Niemeyer | Kentucky Lantern

This story is by the Kentucky Lantern, which is part of States Newsroom, a network of news bureaus supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. More of Kentucky Lantern’s work can be found at kentuckylantern. com. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter.

KENTUCKY’S largest utility, providing power to more than 1.3 million customers, is proposing to build two natural gas plants along with new solar installations to help make up for an energy supply shortfall created by the retirement of coal-fired power plants. It’s a plan that advocates of both coal

and renewable energy in Kentucky strongly criticized for widely different reasons.

The proposal, filed Dec. 15 by Louisville Gas and Electric and Kentucky Utilities before the Kentucky Public Service Commission, is an about-face by the utility compared to last year.

LG&E and KU had told the commission in an earlier planning document that because of the federal government’s focus of moving toward cleaner energy, building natural gas plants would only be feasible with the addition of carbon capture technologies. The week’s filing did not mention the implementation of such technology with the proposed natural gas plants.

LG&E and KU point to a federal plan proposed this year that aims to cut ozone emissions at power

plants as reasoning for retiring two coal-fired power plant units, Mill Creek Unit 2 in Jefferson County and Ghent Unit 2 in Carroll County, by 2028 because the units lack emissions reduction technology. Another unit, E.W. Brown Unit 3 in Mercer County, is being slated for retirement because of maintenance costs, needing a $28 million “overhaul” to operate it safely beyond 2028.

“For decades, coal-fired generation has served our customers well, but many of our generating units are reaching the end of their economic life and it is no longer cost-effective to make the needed investments to meet increasingly stringent environmental regulations,” said LG&E and KU president John Crockett in a statement. “The least-cost solution to reli-

THORNS & ROSES

THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD

ABSURD: ‘THE PEOPLE’S MAYOR’

In a recent interview with the Courier Journal about his legacy, outgoing Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer said he was “kind of known as the people’s mayor” because of how much he gets across town and interacts with citizens. LEO tries to get out in the community: We have yet to hear anyone refer to Fischer as the people’s mayor, but maybe we’re just not hanging out in the right places. A Google search for “The People’s Mayor” and “Greg Fischer” only turned up hits related to the CJ interview.

ROSE: AN OPEN RECORDS

VICTORY

FOR LEO Kentucky’s Attorney General’s O ce ruled that Louisville Metro Government repeatedly violated the Kentucky Open Records Act in the handling of recent LEO Weekly open records requests. That doesn’t mean that LEO will automatically get the documents it requested, but here’s to hoping it speeds up the process. Open records are important to journalism and are behind such LEO Weekly stories as “LMPD Training Materials Portrayed Police As Avengers Who Carry Out God’s Wrath” and “Louisville Police 2020 Protest Plan Warned Of Wheelchair-Bound Human Shields, O cer Impersonation.”

THORN: CANNABIS CLARITY

In last issue’s cover story, we explored Gov. Andy Beshear’s executive order concerning medical marijuana in Kentucky, which will — starting Jan. 1 — automatically pardon Kentuckians with 21 medical conditions who obtain up to eight ounces of marijuana out of Kentucky and bring it back to the Commonwealth (provided they have documentation of their medical condition and keep the receipt for the marijuana). The order still raises many questions, as no other state has implemented medcial marijuana rules like this, not least of which is how state law enforcement will interact with people who qualify. The governor’s o ce has told LEO Weekly and several other news outlets that “palm cards” were being created for law enforcement for guidance. At the time of press — less than two weeks until the order goes into e ect — there’s been no announcement about the cards. Clarity issues lead to confusion. Confusion leads to people getting in unnecessary sticky situations with the law.

ROSE: THANK YOU, DEAR READER

To everyone who read and supported LEO this year: Thank you! We’re a small sta and it’s been a tough year, but the community is what keeps us going.

Solar panels in Spring Valley, Kentucky. | ADOBE STOCK.

NEWS & ANALYSIS

ably and affordably meet our customers’ energy demands now, and into the future, is to further diversify our generation fleet and offer our customers more programs to help them save energy and money.”

The Kentucky Coal Association in a statement denounced the coal power plant retirements as “turning the lights out in every home in Kentucky” and claimed it could threaten the stability of the state’s electric grid. Studies and experts in renewable energy have shown wind and solar energy can be just as reliable as fossil fuels due to technological innovation.

The two proposed natural gas plants would each generate 621 megawatts (MW) and be located at some of the utility’s existing facilities in Jefferson County and Mercer County, the total costs for the plants estimated at more than $1.3 billion.

According to Reuters, climate scientists view natural gas as a cleaner energy sourcecompared to coal, producing about half the carbon dioxide when burned. Advocates for natural gas argue the fuel could be used as a “bridge” away from coal and eventually to renewables, but climate scientists also worry the wide adoption of the fuel could lock the planet into more catastrophic effects of climate change. In particular, the production of natural gas produces methane, a greenhouse gas much more potent at warming the atmosphere than carbon dioxide, although it dissipates faster.

The utility is also proposing to build two solar installations in Mercer and Marion counties — both with a capacity of 120 MW at a combined cost of more than $450 million — along with plans to get more than 600 MW of energy from other solar projects. The

company will also plan a battery energy storage facility in Mercer County.

Steve Ricketts, the chair of the advocacy group Kentucky Solar Energy Society, panned the utility’s proposal as disconnected from the needs of the Kentuckians who want to see the utility decarbonize more quickly. He said the utility’s investments in solar is a “drop in the bucket” compared to investments made by other utilities across the country.

“They’re basically investing in two highly capital intensive (gas) plants with a highly variable cost of gas, which is going to come back and kind of bite them,” Ricketts said.

The Kentucky Public Service Commission in a strong rebuke of the utility earlier this year criticized a planning document prepared by LG&E and KU, saying that the utility failed to consider several cost-saving measures including the use of out-of-state wind power, energy efficiency programs and rooftop solar.

In the Dec. 15 filing, LG&E and KU also proposed various energy efficiency programs to the commission including appliance recycling, rebates for businesses and an energy conservation program for small businesses and residences.

Natasha Collins, director of media relations for LG&E and KU, said the utility’s proposal tries to balance providing the lowest cost to consumers while also making progress toward netzero carbon emissions.

“We’ve put forward something that is moving us in what we feel is the right direction, understanding that this is a transition,” Collins said. “There are going to be more decisions that we make along the way.” •

THEY WERE ARRESTED WHILE HOMELESS. THEY DIED IN LOUISVILLE’S JAIL.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY REMEMBER THREE PEOPLE WHO DIED WHILE INCARCERATED

By Josh Wood | jwood@leoweekly.com

WHEN people die in the custody of Louisville’s jail, the city eventually tells the public a few things: A name, an age, a sex, what charges the person was held on and, sometimes, a manner of death.

Between Nov. 29, 2021 and Oct. 3, 2022, the span of less than a year, the city sent out 12 jail death notifications. According to city officials, before the surge in deaths, Louisville Metro Department of Corrections averaged three incustody deaths per year for the previous decade and a half. Absent from the sterile notifications sent out by the city is who the people were, the paths that landed them in jail and who they are survived by. Also absent is the fact that of the 12, at least four were homeless, and ended up at Louisville’s

already struggling jail as a result of crimes related to their homelessness. One man ended up at LMDC after he was arrested for panhandling at a South End gas station; All four homeless individuals had bonds placed on them that they were incapable of paying.

In recent weeks, LEO Weekly spoke to friends and family of three homeless people who died in the custody of Metro Corrections during that deadly year. Here are their stories.

THOMAS “TJ” BRADSHAW, 43

Last August, when Jenny Griesbaum heard that her friend TJ was in a coma following a suicide attempt at Louisville’s

jail, she struggled to understand what he could have been arrested for.

The TJ she knew years ago didn’t have a violent bone in his body. She’d never seen him get angry or raise his voice. Did he steal something maybe?

“He was very gentle. Sweet. I just couldn’t imagine him even going to jail,” she said.

Griesbaum met TJ back around 1996 when she was 18 and they instantly bonded over a love of music. She introduced him to death metal bands like Entombed and Slayer; He would always bring around mixtapes packed with good songs. TJ had ambitions of a career in music and, for a while, they formed a band, but it didn’t go anywhere.

Griesbaum remembers how TJ would quote the 1994 film “Forrest Gump” by saying he and her were “like peas and carrots” and by stylizing her first name as “Jen-nay” just like Tom Hanks’ character pronounced it.

“I never heard the end of it,” said Griesbaum.

They’d walk around Louisville’s South End, where they both lived, talking about life. Sometimes they’d go to Cherokee Park with a radio and a blanket to spend the afternoon sitting on the grass listening to music. He’d smoke weed, but he didn’t really drink and didn’t do any hard drugs.

“He was caring. He was a sweet guy. We never had anything bad between us at all,” she said. “He was like one of my best friends during that frame. We’d hang out almost every day.”

Griesbaum said TJ worked odd jobs in construction and roofing, but struggled to find a set path in life.

As happens, she lost touch with him around 2003 or 2004 when she moved back to her native Indiana and started a family.

Then, in 2015, she saw TJ at a friend reunion at Iroquois Park.

“He looked a little rougher than I remembered, like he probably hadn’t been taking real good care of himself,” she said.

They hung out for a couple of days around the time of the

reunion, but those were the last conversations she’d have with him.

Later, when she’d ask about TJ on Facebook, people who knew him would write back saying he was living on the streets of Louisville and didn’t look too good. She told them that if anybody saw him, they should pass her number to him so she could bring him to lunch or at least check up on him.

In August of this year, TJ died several days after attempting suicide by hanging at LMDC. He had been arrested by a Louisville Metro Police Department officer for panhandling in front of the Circle K on South 3rd Street next to the I-264 off-ramp, an area where homeless people frequently congregate. He had been arrested other times in recent years, mostly for shoplifting items from local pharmacies and convenience stores. He was held in jail on a $1,000 bond for his panhandling trespassing charge as well as open bench warrants related to other criminal charges for which he had failed to return to court.

One of the warrants that led to his incarceration was tied to a November 2019 arrest for allegedly stealing a couple sandwiches, a flashlight, a hat and gloves from a Speedway gas station convenience store on West Jefferson Street.

Christen “Tiny” Markwell, founder of the homeless outreach group Forgotten Louisville, only ever knew TJ during his life on the streets.

Over the years she knew him, TJ would move around the South End, finding a new place to live whenever he got run off from his previous spot; An encampment down by the train tracks off of Crittenden Drive, on the porch of an abandoned house on 5th Street or in a tent near the Circle K where he was arrested for the last time.

He was a staple at Forgotten Louisville’s weekly distributions of food, clothing and supplies like Sterno heaters and camping-size propane tanks. Those distributions often take place at the same gas station where TJ was arrested.

“He was just so sweet. He’s just like a really big kid,” said Markwell. “And so my memory of him is this sweet, big old kid. But he was just always so broken.”

There were things that pointed to normalcy in his life at one point in time: whenever volunteers were handing out

Vans branded clothing he’d light up and he loved talking about riding dirt bikes when he was a teenager.

But, for all the time she knew him, TJ was in the clutches of heroin addiction, Markwell said. Oftentimes, he’d tearfully open up to her, talking about the trauma of losing his parents and his fears about the life he was living.

“I can’t live this life anymore,” he’d tell Markwell. “These streets are going to kill me.”

While the streets were brutal, there was also compassion to be found. Markwell said TJ had people looking out for him, and sometimes she’d get calls from concerned friends on cold nights asking if she could bring him a blanket. And TJ also looked out for others, telling her about homeless people he knew who needed supplies or needed to be checked in on.

In the moment, Markwell said, TJ was interested in being connected with services and getting off the street. But as is the case for many on the street, it was hard for him to take the next step.

“I personally get told all the time: ‘Tiny, you can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make them drink it.’ But if I keep showing up, they’re going to be thirsty some day. So I keep showing up,” said Markwell.

In 2019, TJ was featured in a WHAS documentary about addiction in Louisville. With creases on his face, he looks significantly older than the 40-years-old he was at the time of filming, and cries at points while talking.

“I’ve been a drug addict for 17 years. I watched my mom pass away. I watched my dad pass away from alcohol. I’m slowly watching my friends pass away too,” he said of his life in the documentary.

He also expressed hope, telling the camera: “So what I’m doing now is I’m digging a hole so damn deep, man, but I’m crawling up out of it slowly.”

After Griesbaum learned TJ was in a coma, she reached out to his sisters and went to see him at the hospital. She said she was there as he was taken off of life support and staff lined the hallways as a “walk of honor” before his organs were donated.

TJ was another person lost, like others who died in Louisville’s jail, in the churning undertow of a self-proclaimed “compassionate city.” He was a homeless person in the throes of substance use disorder who was arrested for what amounted to petty crimes tied to his addiction and living situation. He was handed a bail he was unable to pay, ensuring that he would be sent to a jail that had, at the time of his incarceration, already seen nine deaths in the previous nine months. And even if he did manage to pay the bail, a judge stipulated that he would have to go on home incarceration, despite not having a home to go to.

Markwell does the work that she does in the hopes that people like TJ are not rendered forgotten or invisible in Louisville.

“TJ was somebody’s son. He was somebody’s father. He was somebody’s brother,” she said. “And we lose that when we just think of somebody flying a sign or somebody who is passed out drunk on the sidewalk. It blows my mind that people drive past that every single day without stopping and seeing if somebody’s okay.”

Thomas “TJ” Bradshaw.

BUDDY STEVENS, 39

On his good days, when he was on his meds, Buddy Stevens was a dedicated husband and father. But when he was off his meds, he would “go off the deep end” and was difficult to deal with as mental illness took control.

Buddy was a paranoid schizophrenic with delusions that he was being followed and that people were out to get him, according to his family. He would hear voices, but they did not tell him to hurt himself. When he was on his meds, his mental illness was manageable. But when he was off them, his wife Kasey felt like she was dealing with a third child.

His continued refusal to stay on his medication led to the couple separating in 2020. Buddy moved out of their Western Kentucky home, and eventually, he found his way to Louisville, and to the street.

When he was in Louisville, it was hard for Kasey to keep in touch with him. Sometimes he’d send a message from somebody else’s phone or social media profile, but it “was hit or miss” if he’d still be around when Kasey responded. The last time he sent one of those messages was in late July. Kasey responded, but didn’t hear anything back.

Kasey didn’t hear anything back because Buddy was in jail, arrested by LMPD on Aug. 8 for breaking into a building in Old Louisville. According to an arrest citation, the building’s owner called police to the building after

seeing a window busted out, believing that people were inside. When he was arrested, Buddy told officers he had entered the building the day before. The Aug. 8 arrest was one of several burglary and trespassing charges Buddy faced in 2022.

“I believe that’s because he was homeless, he was looking for somewhere to sleep,” said Kasey of his last arrest.

He was held in pre-trial detention on a $5,000 cash bond.

In the early hours of Sept. 22, more than a month after he was taken into custody, Buddy hanged himself. At the time, he was the 11th person to die in the custody of Metro Corrections in the span of less than 10 months.

After Buddy’s suicide, Kasey said a Louisville detective and the coroner’s office were quick to return her calls. But since then, she and her mother Debbie Stevens have struggled to get answers from the city or even get anybody to pick up the phone.

“It’s like we’re just another number because of everything they’ve got going on,” said Kasey.

Kasey and Debbie worry that Buddy was not properly monitored and did not receive proper mental health care when he was incarcerated.

“I don’t think the jail gave him the mental help that he needed,” said Debbie. “We’re going to try to get the report to see if mental evaluations were done on him. We’re in the process of trying to get that information, but if they were actually doing mental evaluations on him, he would have been under watch. He wouldn’t have been in a single cell by himself.”

LMDC did not respond to requests for comment about the circumstances surrounding Buddy’s death.

Kasey can’t shake the feeling that something is off. Her husband of 12 years haunts her dreams. He threatened to harm himself once when they were together, but backed down — his delusions were more about fears of being harmed by others than of wanting to harm himself. She can’t imagine that his mental state would have gone unnoticed by officers.

“When he’s in that mental state of mind, he’s not quiet. He will weep and cry loud. And beg for help. He’s not quiet

about it,” she said. “That’s what I don’t get.”

Living in Muhlenberg County, more than two hours away from Louisville, has made Kasey’s ordeal even more difficult as she can’t simply show up at city government offices and demand answers (though she did that once anyways and again felt like she got a run-around). She and her mother reached out to a few lawyers for help; the one who seemed to be the best fit said they were too busy to get involved with the case until the new year.

For now, they are left in limbo.

“Something has got to give, not just for me — I’ve got an 8 and a 10-year old that he leaves behind, that don’t understand why the people in jail didn’t help him,” said Kasey. “I mean, how do you explain that to an 8 and a 10-year old?”

While they lack answers, both Debbie and Kasey say they know that there is something seriously wrong at the jail given the number of deaths.

“The system is broke somehow. You don’t have that many people die in a year’s time in jail,” said Debbie.

Like other loved ones of people who have died at LMDC, Kasey wants to see changes.

“Something’s got to be done. Not just for justice for him, but for the other families as well. Nobody deserves to die in jail,” said Kasey. “I don’t care what you’re in jail for: Nobody deserves to die in jail like that.”

STEPHANIE DUNBAR, 48

Stephanie Dunbar was determined to make her own way, even if that meant living in a tent on the streets of Louisville.

When she lost Section 8 housing, her oldest son, Javon, put her up in a hotel for a few months. But when she found out how much it cost him, she worried she was taking away money from her grandchildren and left for the streets.

She preferred the streets to shelters, telling her son that people at shelters messed with her because she was small. Javon would bring her supplies and kept insisting on getting her bigger and bigger tents when they would inevitably get filled with clutter. In all, he bought her five tents.

“I wanted her at least to be comfortable,” he said. “That was her decision to continue living homeless, and I couldn’t force her to come back, so I at least wanted her to be comfortable. It just eats me up to this day.”

While Stephanie had little money, Javon said she would buy other homeless people food when she’d run into them in stores.

“This woman would give you the shirt off her back in the winter time,” said Javon.

He asked her to move in with him, but she declined. She wanted to get back on her feet. She wanted to get an apartment where three of her sons who were incarcerated could go after they were released.

Then she got arrested a block away from an I-65 underpass in Old Louisville, charged with 2nd degree assault for causing serious physical injury on another person with a knife, according to an arrest citation. Dunbar family attorney Trenton Burns told LEO Weekly that the incident was the result of somebody trying to take her belongings.

Three days later, she committed suicide at LMDC, hanging herself with a pair of jail-issued trousers. For the last 18 hours of her life, she was held in a cramped “attorney

Buddy Stevens.

booth” that lacked a bed, running water or a toilet. Despite LMDC policy mandating that “detox inmates” like Stephanie be checked on every 20 minutes, an internal investigation concluded she was largely forgotten about and officers only looked in on her when they happened to walk by. One of those officers who walked by gave Stephanie the middle finger.

To Javon, 34, it is the system — the system that took away her kids, that saw her put on the streets, that had her locked away and forgotten about in an attorney booth — that killed his mother.

“No kid should have to go through what we are going through because of the simple fact that the system let her down,” he said. “If it wasn’t for the system letting her down so many times, she would still be here.”

Taken away from his mother by the state when he was 13, Javon spent most of his life away from her. At one point, he didn’t see her for ten years.

“She was just a caring person, a loving person. Had some hard times coming up. No help. And very independent,” he said. “And the little time I did get to spend with her as a child, she was hard working and dedicated to our family. Made sure we ate, clothes on our back, roof over our heads. And we were never in no itty bitty apartment, she always kept us in a big apartment because there were so many of

us.”

As an adult, most of his recent memories of his mother are from trying to help her get off the street when he would travel back and forth between Louisville and Tennessee, where he was living.

“As a strong, Black, independent woman she did her thing for years. She survived for years. And I used to tell myself waking up trying to figure out where she was and not knowing where she was, I used to be like: ‘As long as she was living, I was okay.’ So when I got the phone call, it devastated me. And I haven’t been straight ever since,” he said.

Back in Tennessee after his mom died at LMDC, Javon says he was robbed at gunpoint. He had set up a GoFundMe to cover his mother’s funeral expenses. When the assailant pulled a gun on him, he told Javon he knew he had money because of the GoFundMe and brought him to an ATM to pull out cash. Javon worried he was not going to escape the encounter alive.

“All because I was trying to bury my mom because Louisville failed to protect her,” he said.

Since his mother’s death, Javon feels like his mind is racing “1,001 thoughts in a second.” He has trouble sleeping, so he took a third shift job on top of the two jobs he already has. From the moment he got the phone call that his mother was dead a year ago, he feels like a different person.

Last year, he started spending more and more time in Louisville trying to help out his mother and siblings. With his mother dead, he lives in Louisville full-time, uprooting his life in Tennessee and moving away from his children. His mother used to be the one who would care for his siblings in Louisville, there for life’s difficult moments like trips to the emergency room when needed, or navigating the court system. But now he feels that responsibility on his shoulders.

“If she was still living, I would not be here right now. Because she would have a place to stay and my brothers would have a place to go,” he said.

For his three incarcerated brothers, he makes sure they have money in their commissary accounts and support. After his mother’s death, he worries even more about the conditions they face behind bars and how they are faring. One

of his brothers in prison went silent when their mom died; Javon keeps putting money on his commissary and writing him letters, but doesn’t hear anything back. The prison won’t tell him anything except that he is alive and being held at their facility.

Javon tries not to go out at night. He fears that as a Black man in Louisville, it can be easy to end up in jail.

“My mom died in that jail. So if I become another Black man to come up in there and then they know her last name is the same as mine….I don’t know if they’re going to treat me worse than what they treated her,” he said.

“They disrupted my whole life,” he added.

An internal Metro Corrections investigation into Stephanie’s death found that eight LMDC officers had violated the jail’s observation policy. Two more were found to have forged observation sheets, saying they were conducting checks on certain parts of the jail when they were actually elsewhere in the facility. And one officer was found to have violated LMDC’s code of conduct and code of ethics when she gave Dunbar the middle finger.

An LMDC spokesperson told LEO Weekly in July that “several” officers were disciplined and received suspensions of between two and 15 days.

The punishment isn’t enough for Javon.

“I don’t look to get back, get even with nobody, but I do look for justice,” he said. “For them to be walking freely and my mom’s dead and our life is corrupted, it’s not fair. It’s not fair at all. No way possible. They neglected her, abandoned her and treated her as if she was a dog that wasn’t cared for.”

In March, Javon filed a lawsuit against the jail and its healthcare provider, Wellpath. According to Javon, the city is looking to settle, but keeps asking him to come up with a number. But he feels like that is not justice and that the city wants to pay out to quiet him, a situation he fears will result in what happened to his mother happening to somebody else.

“Justice is punishing the officers with the appropriate punishment, not just suspensions. They don’t need to be working and caring for nobody — no human beings,” he said. “They should have something on their record where they can’t work with people. They should not have nobody’s life in their hands. None of them.”

Of the 12 people that died at Louisville’s jail in a tenmonth stretch, at least a third were homeless like Stephanie. To Javon, those who went from the street to a cell had little chance of fair treatment.

“I feel as if once they enter into jail and the officers are used to these people knowing they have no help from the outside, I feel like they treat them like crap. They don’t care,” he said. “And that’s not right. Because somebody out there cares; they just didn’t get to them in time.” •

Have a news tip? Email jwood@leoweekly.com

Stephanie Dunbar. | PHOTO FROM FACEBOOK.

STAFF PICKS

THROUGH DEC. 30

‘Small Works’

Kleinhelter Gallery | 701 E. 8th St., New Albany | Search Facebook | Free

THROUGH JAN. 22

‘Erasure’s Edge’ By Noel W. Anderson

KMAC Museum | 715 W. Main St. | kmacmuseum.org | Prices vary

CULTURE

Small doesn’t always mean insigni cant, as the Kleinhelter Gallery’s third annual group show illustrates. The 25 emerging and established artists, including Brenda Wirth, Jacque Parsley and Barry Motes, are showing works that are small is size, price or both but large in creativity and meaning. The pieces are in various media, such as painting, ber and photography, and are no more than 30 inches in size. —Jo Anne Triplett

SMALL

‘Whiskey Did It!’ by Art Orr. Mixed media.

New York artist Noel W. Anderson has found an unusual way to highlight African American history. The former Louisvillian uses wordplay and discarded items to focus on interpretations of the word “erasure.” His art centers on the history of “the demonization and criminalization of African American men through the hyper-visibility and circulation of violent representations of Black peoples,” he states.—Jo Anne Triplett

‘Untitled (after

Distressed, picked and draped cotton tapestry.

THROUGH JAN. 22

‘Alphonse Mucha: Art Nouveau Visionary’

Speed Art Museum | 2035 S. Third St. | speedmuseum.org | Prices vary

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 21

A Very Commie Christmas

Planet of the Tapes | 640 Barret Ave. | www.planetofthetapes.biz/shows/196567 | $5 | 8 p.m.

LAUGH

ART

Advertising posters in the late 19th/ early 20th centuries in Paris were sensuous experiences, in part due to Czech artist Alphonse Mucha and the Art Nouveau movement. You may not recognize his name, but my guess is you’ve seen his work. The Speed Art Museum is showing 124 pieces, including posters, illustrations and photographs. This is the rst time the Mucha Family Collection has been shown in Kentucky, and the Speed is one of only two venues in America to feature the exhibition. —Jo Anne Triplett

Welcome comrades to the Christmas event where all get their fair share of the nog and the laughs with this Communist Christmas comedy event. Yes, Commies laugh too. June Dempsey, Jake Macias, Tyler Jackson, Joey Eberling, Zac Carman and Reed Sedgwick will share the jokes and the crowd will join in the laughter. It’s a collective experience. —Erica Rucker

‘Job’ by Alphonse Mucha. Color lithograph.

Sam Gilliam)’ by Noel W. Anderson.

Steely Danish

Zanzabar | 2100 S. Preston St. | zanzabarlouisville.com | $20 | Doors at 6:30 p.m., music at 7:30 p.m.

This local 11-person Steely Dan cover band returns after a threeyear hiatus. The show starts early and doesn’t have an opener because, as they say, “We have a LOT of music to play.” — Carolyn Brown

FRIDAY, DEC. 30

New Year’s Evil

Art Sanctuary | 1433 S. Shelby St.| art-sanctuary.ticketleap.com | $5 | 9 p.m.

Spooky Mu ns, it’s time to end the year, right (or wrong... it’s up to you) with a night of frolicking in the dark with your favorite ghouls and gothlings. This will be a night of enchantment with music by Count Grozny and Sorrow Vomit, a dark market, food truck and drinks by Lany Stardust. Not every New Year’s party needs to end with a countdown. The only place you’ll need to be after this party is anywhere you wish. Enjoy, Spooklings.

DISTILLERY

ROOSEVELT

Meet, Roosevelt! This gentle giant is a three-year-old Mastiff who weighs about 130 pounds. Roosevelt came to the Kentucky Humane Society when a Good Samaritan found him and his brother wandering the streets. His finders described Roosevelt as being the sweetest boy who loves his lovies (Stuffed animals). We can confirm this as whenever we go to visit with Roosevelt he wiggles with excitement and brings us his favorite stuffed animal to throw! His finders said during his time with them he enjoyed playing fetch, relaxing with them on the couch, and that Roosevelt appears potty trained and already knows the command sit! Roosevelt seems to do well with other dogs, but would love to meet any potential canine siblings before going to his new home. He has not met cats so we are unsure how he feels about them and because Roosevelt doesn't realize how large he is, he may not be the best fit with young children that he can accidently knock over. If you're looking for a handsome, sweet dog that can love you unconditionally come meet Roosevelt at our Main Campus, 241 Steedly Drive, today or learn more at kyhumane.org/adopt/dogs/. He is neutered, microchipped, and up-to-date on all vaccinations.

Salem is a sophisticated gentleman who would like to bring some poise and polish to your home. This sweet boy was very upset when he arrived at the shelter and we quickly sent him to a foster home to learn more about him. It took Salem a while to open up, but now that he has, he is friendly and enjoys being with his human. Salem's foster family says "Salem may be a little slow to warm up but he is becoming more and more affectionate - he definitely likes to be around the human in the house. He comes to greet me when I get home and likes to be in the same room I am. He loves back scritches from head to tail and will come back for more. I am convinced that with time he will become a big cuddlebug. Salem is definitely curious and wants to check out everything in the house - and he is slowly becoming more playful as he gets used to the house." When Salem arrived at KHS, we discovered he needs to be on a special food to help keep his urinary tract healthy and infection free. It will be important for his adopter to follow up with their regular veterinarian to ensure Salem stays healthy. If a sweet gentleman sounds like your perfect fit, fill out an application located at www.kyhumane.org/cat-app to learn more about him. Salem is neutered, micro-chipped, and up-to-date on his vaccines.

SALEM

STAFF PICKS

SATURDAY, DEC. 31

Ms. Sweeny’s NOON Year’s Tea Party with KITTIES

Purrfect Day Cat Cafe | 1741 Bardstown Rd. | purrfectdaycafe.com | $20 | 11 a.m.noon

SO FLUFFY

If staying up late to celebrate New Year’s Eve isn’t your thing, celebrate the “Noon Year” instead — with kittens, no less! — Carolyn Brown

CATEGORIES:

WRITING:

(1) Short Fiction (up to 1,000 words)

(2) Poetry (up to 48 lines)

CARTOON:

LEO Literary

(3) A single-page cartoon. Can be either a single or multiple panel cartoon.

PHOTOGRAPHY:

(4) Color Photography — a single photo (5) Black-And-White Photography — a single photo

Do not include your name or other personal identification in the file name or meta-data.

Submission Fee: Free!

THE RULES (please read carefully):

You may submit one entry in a single category or in all of them. Do not include your name or any personal identification on your submissions. Stories, poems or photos with names or personal identification will be disqualified.

PHOTOS:

Files must be submitted as a .JPG and in a resolution of at least 200 dpi, with 300 dpi preferred.

SHORT STORIES AND POEMS:

Text must be submitted in one of these formats: Word (.DOC or .DOCX) or Rich Text (.RTF). For all entries, the title on the document must match the file name. For instance, if the poem is called “Roses,” then the file name will be “Roses.” If the piece does not have a title, then use “untitled” in the file name and on the document.

CARTOONS:

Must be submitted as a .JPG and in a resolution of at least 200 dpi, with 300 dpi preferred. The title on the document must match the file name.

By submitting material, authors grant LEO one-time print publishing rights, including permission to publish material on LEO’s website. LEO employees and regular freelancers are not eligible. Winners will be published in the March 1st, 2023 issue of LEO Weekly

Go to leoweekly.com to find the submission form. The link will also be pinned to the top of our Facebook and Twitter pages.

SUNDAY, JAN. 1

First Day Hike

Falls of the Ohio State Park | 201 W. Riverside Drive, Clarksville, Indiana | Search Facebook | $2 to park | 1 p.m.

LEO Literary LEO Literary LEO Literary LEO Literary LEO

It’s hard to stay active during the holidays, so sometimes you have to seek out events like this one — an informal hike at the Falls of the Ohio State Park. Explore the fossil beds, bird watch and enjoy the view of the Ohio River and downtown Louisville on the rst day of the new year. —Scott Recker

TAKE A HIKE

Taproom | 1058 Bardstown Road | Search Facebook | Free | 9 p.m.

An institution of the local heavy music community, Metal Monday has continually highlighted bands and acts that you should be paying attention to. Metal Monday returns on the rst week of the new year with Foxbat — a versatile band that crunches together di erent eras of metal on their new record, Due South — and Taken Lives, an intense metalcore band that goes hard but can still mix in a melodic chorus. —

Scott Recker

BECOME AN

The Louisville Community Grocery is committed to building a cooperatively-owned grocery store that supports the local economy by providing healthy, affordable food through just and equitable practices, employment, and ownership We believe everyone should have access to fresh and healthy food, in a space that is welcoming to all Full service grocery stores have abandoned most of Louisville’s west and central neighborhoods and we hope to address this through community ownership, job creation, and commitment to community health.

Become an Owner at LouisvilleCommunityGrocery.com/Ownership

ICYMI: 3 SHORT MUSIC STORIES YOU NEED TO SEE

By Carolyn Brown | cbrown@leoweekly.com

RAILBIRD ANNOUNCES 2023 LINEUP

RAILBIRD MUSIC FESTIVAL, a summer music festival in Lexington, has announced its 2023 lineup.

Festival officials decided that Railbird would “take a pause” this summer due to concerns from guests about long lines and insufficient water stations, among other things.

In May, organizers announced that the festival would return in 2023, albeit in a new location: rather than the previous venue, Keeneland, this year’s Railbird will play at The Infield at Red Mile on Saturday, June 3-4.

Organizers also addressed guest concerns in an Instagram post a few weeks ago, which promised that next year’s festival will have additional water stations, more bar staff, shaded areas and a policy that would allow guests to bring in their own water bottles.

Here’s the full lineup for 2023:

SATURDAY, JUNE 3

Zach Bryan Weezer

Marcus Mumford

Whiskey Myers

Sheryl Crow

Charley Crockett

Jenny Lewis

Lucius

Morgan Wade

Valerie June

Dehd

Neal Francis

The Heavy Heavy

Madeline Edwards

The Local Honeys

Wayne Graham

SUNDAY, JUNE 4

Tyler Childers

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats

The Head and the Heart

Goose

Nickel Creek

Amos Lee

Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder

Sierra Ferrell

Charles Wesley Godwin

Molly Tuttle & Golden Highway

49 Winchester Town Mountain Cole Chaney Flipturn Calder Allen Brit Taylor

One-day tickets are currently priced from $99-$350 and two-day tickets are priced from $155-$1300, not including taxes and fees. (That latter price is for the Premium tier, which comes with golf cart transportation, exclusive frontof-stage viewing areas, free all-day dining and other perks.)

in Louisville last July. The ordinance makes it illegal to discriminate against natural hairstyles like dreadlocks and box braids.

Hall told her audience that all of the award winners thought they were only on the show to talk about how music groups like theirs change lives, with no idea that they were about to win money.

REAL YOUNG PRODIGYS WIN BIG GRANT ON TAMRON HALL SHOW

THE REAL YOUNG PRODIGYS, a local youth performance group that uses hip-hop for education and social change, received a $500,000 grant on “The Tamron Hall Show.” The group’s parent organization, Hip Hop N 2 Learning (HHN2L), was one of three winners of the Accelerator Award from The Lewis Prize for Music. Two other groups, Tennessee’s Memphis Music Initiative and Hawaii’s Mana Maoli, also won grants of $500,000.

The Real Young Prodigys performer D’Angelia McMillan, who is 13, spoke about the group’s song “CROWN,” which promotes the beauty and variety of natural Black hairstyles. The group also used the song to promote the CROWN Act, which Mayor Greg Fischer signed into law

BLACKRAINBOW STARTS

FIRST “QUEERFORWARD” AND “BIPOC-AFFIRMATIVE” RECORD LABEL

A LOCAL COUPLE will launch a new record label in January to help promote BIPOC and LGBTQ musicians.

Philip Odango and his partner David Johnson are the founders and comanagers of BlackRainbow Records. A press release says that BlackRainbow will offer clients “music production services, video production, licensing and distribution assistance, marketing, and merchandise sales support while celebrating diversity.”

“Our vision is to elevate, amplify, innovate and energize our artists to new creative and expressive heights and reach broader audiences,” the press release said.

Speaking to LEO, Odango emphasized that some musical communities (including punk and metal) have traditionally prioritized straight white artists. Founding this record label, Odango said, is a way for the two to use their experience in the entertainment world to give opportunities and resources to musicians from underrepresented communities, to “become eyes and ears for talents that aspire.”

“Passion, talent and drive are not limited to sexual orientation or the color of a person’s skin,” Odango said.

The label will celebrate their launch at Vernon Lanes on Saturday, Jan. 7, from 12-3 p.m. It’s free to attend, but registration is required. At the event, there’ll be a world premiere of The Dead Speak’s music video, “Trigger Warning,” plus live performances from The Ones Among Us and Theory Of Motivation, two other acts on the BlackRainbow label. •

Eric Burton of Black Pumas at Railbird 2021.| PHOTO BY TRACY MAY.

Real Young Prodigys.

BlackRainbow.

LISTEN LOCAL: FOUR NEW MUSIC REVIEWS

By Je�f Polk | leo@leoweekly.com

SUNSHINE

“GOLDEN SHORE” (SINGLE)

So, I was one of these old scenesters who was convinced that Louisville music had peaked in the ‘90s. That’s why I am so thankful I got this gig with LEO, as I have been proven wrong time and time again by numerous bands that I may have never given a chance otherwise. I believe Sunshine may take the cake. There is nothing out there, local or otherwise, that sounds quite like this band. Catchy, hook-ridden, odd polyrhythmic song structures and quirky time changes combined with extremely talented musicianship and high-energy performances make Sunshine’s idiosyncratic sound a genre-defying trip into the outer realms of space. Alternative experimental jazz punk! Their latest single, “Golden Shore,” could be described as Go-Kart Ride-era Evergreen playing a Frank Zappa tune. But that’s just this song — their self-titled full-length album released earlier this year (which is an absolutely essential purchase, I might add) jumps through so many different styles and genres that it would take an entire page to describe. This is a band that can and does go from playing Muzak to hardcore punk in a split second. I could not possibly recommend this band higher for fans of, well, really any style of music.

https://linktr.ee/SunshineTheBand

THE RESPONSE

JADA’S TOYS DEMO (FULL-LENGTH)

With Indignant Few getting back together and bands like Creeps Inc. and Godawfuls still out there killing it, 2022 has been the year of the old-school Louisville punk rockers. Now welcome Louisville’s latest addition to this equation: The Response. Made up of former members of bands such as Reagan Youth, The Vagrants, Ants in an Argument, The Sickies, The Shanks and The Ladykillers, among others, The Response is ready to show you kids how it was done back in the day. No cutesy pop punk or emo here, just a straight up kick in the teeth of loud, ugly, dirty, old-school punk rock and roll stripped down to its barest essentials. Elements of bands like pre-Grow Up-era The Queers, Dwarves, New Bomb Turks, Sloppy Seconds and Nine Pound Hammer can be heard all over this. The production here is production-less. Just raw, unpolished, live jam room recordings that give these tunes that true, gritty punk rock energy they deserve, warts and all. Nine tracks, including Misfits and Reagan Youth covers, clock in at just over 25 minutes of Hamms chugging, Chuck Taylor stomping, “1-2-3-4” yelling punk-fucking-rock. theresponsekyhc.bandcamp.com

TURBO NUT

“EL TORO” (SINGLE)

Consisting of members of bands like Anemic Royalty, Quality Cable, Routine Caffeine, Ted Tyro, Kiana & The Sun Kings, Darlington Pairs, Mr. Please and The Captain and the Ship, Turbo Nut takes the best elements of those bands to create a unique, genre-bending sound all their own. Their latest single, “El Toro” — the follow up to their debut foursong EP, The First Nut, released earlier this year — sees them skirting the edges of psych, shoegaze, dream pop, lo-fi, new wave and punk, but never enough to strictly define them under any of those labels. Unlike the bulk of the material on The First Nut, this track is far less laid-back, exuding more of an energetic pace similar to that of The First Nut lead track “Rats Ass.” Artists like PJ Harvey, SleaterKinney and Pavement come to mind, but even those are a bit of a stretch. Like I said, this is a sound uniquely their own. Look for their first full-length album to be released Jan. 14 and more shows to follow. So get out there, catch them live and go nuts.

https://linktr.ee/turbonutband

YEZZER

SON OF PENTACLES (EP)

I was barely a few seconds into the opener “Palindrome” and my first thought was, ‘Louisville needs more of this!’ Fuzzed-out, groove-driven, bluesy revivalist garage rock that leans heavily into classic psych and stoner rock. Along the lines of The Black Keys, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and Reignwolf, but with a solid dose of Vincebus Eruptum-era Blue Cheer thrown in. What sets this apart is the fact that there are two bassists, a drummer, a vocalist, and exactly zero guitarists. But it works! One bass takes on the more standard bass tone, while giving the other a thick, rich, distorted, almost-guitarish tone. Then, of course, fuzzing them both out a bit to create a hazy texture to the music. Formed in 2020 during the beginning stages of the pandemic, Yezzer — which consists of former members of bands such as The Moonlight Peddlers, The Dammit, Joann & The Dakota and Frontiers — has been extremely prolific in creating a slew of amazing tunes, having already released a previous EP, a full-length live album, and four singles in their short two and a half years of existence. This is one of those bands that, regardless of what you’re into, you’re gonna be feeling. The groove is just too strong and the sound is too original to ignore.

https://linktr.ee/yezzerband

YOU DON’T NEED ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO LOVE NORTH OF BOURBON

By Robin Garr | LouisvilleHotBytes

I RECENTLY had the pleasure of dining at North of Bourbon, a New Orleans-style restaurant in Louisville. From the moment I walked in, I was transported to the vibrant, colorful world of the Big Easy.

The atmosphere at North of Bourbon is lively and energetic, with good music, colorful Christmas decorations, and the smell of good food and spices in the air. The menu is filled with classic New Orleans dishes as well as more unusual offerings. The portions are generous, and the flavors are bold and spicy. But the real star of the show is the bourbon.

Okay, hold it right there. I have to confess: I loved North of Bourbon but those aren’t my words. I asked the new artificial-intelligence ChatGPT to write me a review in the style of Anthony Bourdain. It complied as a good robot should, without complaint.

This is kind of scary. Since I have no interest in an AI bot putting me out of work, it stops right here. All the rest of today’s

words are mine. But I can’t deny this reality: ChatGPT got the basics right.

North of Bourbon, which opened New Year’s Eve in the heavily renovated Goss Avenue quarters that formerly housed Mr. Lee’s Lounge, is one of the city’s most popular tables now.

Pledging to blend “Bourbon, Louisville, and New Orleans into a unique Southern experience,” North of Bourbon’s menu is inspired by the Louisiana and Mississippi roots of Chef Lawrence Weeks and the restaurant’s owners, leavened with other Southern classics that focus on the connections between Louisville and New Orleans.

If you go during the next week or two, you’ll find that Louisville-Cajun-Creole flavor further tempered by a substantial blast of… Christmas! It’s ho-ho-ho all the time during the season, with a flotilla of holiday lights hanging overhead, Christmas tchotchkes on the walls and tables, Christmas rock on the sound system and even a gigantic blow-up Santa straddling the front door.

More permanent fixtures include four

booths enclosed in gigantic bourbon barrels, and a bar that runs the length of the long, narrow room, framed by backlighted shelves showing off the restaurant’s 300-plus bourbon and rye selections.

Chef Weeks’ dinner menu offers a thoughtful selection of just 15 items, all clustered into a single list that includes appetizer-type plates, salads and dishes more suited as entrees. Baked oysters are $4 a piece (or you can shell out $55 for a dozen with “champagne” — actually four 8-ounce pony bottles of Miller High Life). Most of the larger plates are priced in the $20-$30 range, including a full-pound 3D Valley Farm Indiana pork chop with horseradish creamed leeks, roasted turnips, spiced cane

Tender, mild cornmeal-breaded and fried Kentucky cat sh nuggets hit the spot, and there were plenty of them. | PHOTOS BY ROBIN GARR.

The seasonal “Sippin’ Santa” cocktail, a warming potion based on demarara rum, comes in a wacky mug depicting Santa as a surfer.

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syrup glaze and puffed sorghum.

There are also lunch, happy hour and Sunday brunch menus, plus extensive cocktail options and your choice among those 300 bourbons in one-ounce or two-ounce pours.

Speaking of booze, during the Christmas season the restaurant’s usual craft cocktail list has given way to “Sippin Santa,” a TikiChristmas mashup. Oddly, and somewhat to my disappointment, only one of the holiday cocktails included bourbon, in a mix that didn’t appeal to me. I consoled myself with a Demarara rum-based “Sippin’ Santa” ($13), a Christmasy blend of rum, amaro, lemon, orange and ... gingerbread mix, served in a funny mug depicting Santa in surf attire.

We also enjoyed a one-ounce taste of Knob Creek Rye ($6).

As we waited for our food, nibbling on complimentary cups of spicy boiled peanuts, we became aware that our seating was, frankly, uncomfortable. Sit on a hard, bumpy, low bench with no back for two hours and see how that makes you feel! To the restaurant’s credit, though, only the two tables by the front windows appear problematic. Avoid them if you can.

But that was our only complaint. Once the food started coming, we weren’t even

thinking about the seats.

Delta wet salad ($10), a classic from the Mississippi Delta country, was startlingly good. Little Gem lettuce, a tender variety of romaine, was generously drenched with a tart red-wine vinaigrette. Smoked tomatoes deliciously infused a smoky flavor, with crunchy cucumber dice for texture contrast.

Peppered catfish nuggets ($17) hit the spot too. Eight dark golden-brown, cornmeal-crusted strips were mounded on the plate, drizzled with hot-sweet tiger sauce, and sprinkled generously with thin rounds of green onion. A dollop of spicy mustard aioli puddled alongside.

Rouxed peas ($14), a vegetarian entree, was a beautiful presentation. Al dente green peas were cooked in a spicy black roux and topped with paper-thin rounds of shaved turnip, tiny, crispy mini-onion rings and spicy orange pools of red-pepper cream.

A really excellent dinner for two, with two drinks, came to $63.60 plus a $15 tip. •

NORTH OF BOURBON 935 Goss Ave. 749-3305

northofbourbon.com

Rouxed peas, a vegetarian dish, celebrate al dente green peas with a dark and spicy black roux and delightful tiny fried onion rings.

BOOK REVIEWS: ‘RUNAWAY’ AND ‘MOTHWOMAN’

By T.E. Lyons | leo@leoweekly.com

YOUR book-shopping may be based on the need to buy gifts. Or perhaps you need to have something interesting to sit down with at a reflective time of year. Either way, local talents are delivering — and they have more on their minds than high-quality entertainment.

BY ERIN KEANE

(BELT PUBLISHING; 208 PGS., $28)

The runaway of Keane’s book is the author’s mother, who took off more than once from her military-family home before her mid-teens. Learning lessons of the road, and spinning makeshift tales of identity, she enjoyed freedom and (mostly) avoided danger in the early 1970s. Eventually she met a man whose line of bull was a match for hers, and then some. At that point, her biggest lie was her age — but somehow, she and this man (of slightly mysterious history and more than twice her years) married and soon had children.

Stories of the Keane family, based on clearly-determined research but particularly-detailed interviews with the mother, are interwoven with the author’s sharp cultural observations and opinions. Early on is a chapter focusing on Woody Allen making playthings of women, apparently both on and off screen. The author considers this alongside her father’s young adulthood (reputedly roguish, but facts reveal a stumbling extended adolescence) and bemoans a prevailing societal bias: “…[W]ild creative men must be infinitely forgivable, mere victims of their own appetites, their charisma and talent making them always worth showing up for; only women had to live forever with the choices they made.”

Women are seen only from men’s perspectives throughout ultimate Western film “The Searchers.” This has been spoken of often and by many, but Keane brings freshness through a prism including reflections on her grandfather (who’s shown denying to his community the existence of his runaway daughter). The author has her own stark acknowledgment: “…[H]ow many times had I sought out the tales of my father’s exploits but never my mother’s daring? Her time on the road should have been a legendary tale of survival in my family, but instead, the details were kept secret, like a private, contagious shame.” Such candid openness invites readers to challenge their

own perspectives. But if it seems too much of a heavy lesson, dig into the collection’s fun-but-substantial essay on the author’s pilgrimage to see The Pogues.

“MOTHWOMAN”

BY NICOLE CUSHING (WORD HORDE;

252 PGS., $19.99)

Cushing’s previous novel “A Sick Gray Laugh” seemed like a treatise interrupted by plot momentum — or was it vice versa? Never mind, it held together masterfully. “Mothwoman” has similarities in voice (e.g., comic asides) but reads tighter. Also it’s more actionoriented — albeit with action that’s absurdly surreal.

A middle-aged, depressed Indiana woman is rapidly drawn into an eastbound road trip. In first-person, deliberately self-conscious prose, Cushing grandly tweaks the isolation universally tasted during pandemic lockdown: this woman fears she’s become dysfunctional in the outside world. Indeed, she isn’t sure that what she’s experiencing in the drive through the isolation-thatseems-like-desolation in mountainous West Virginia is part of the genuine outside world. And she’d be right to have doubts. Mr. Cold, a character who contacts her telepathically, will clue her in — particularly about her relationship to famous cryptid The Mothman. And upcoming attendance at a Mothman convention.

This stage of Cushing’s career makes demands on readers, certainly. Mortality, and bodily functions, are treated with candid black humor. Plot twists come faster than in any espionage/conspiracy thriller — and this is weird fiction, so the twists are there to disturb and disorient the reader. Once you start to feel disoriented, you might be fully prepared as this author adds in enough zaniness to bring to mind a Dada exhibition, interpreted by a performance of dozens of Marx Brothers, on the center stage of “The Twilight Zone.”

•

“RUNAWAY”

“Runaway” by Erin Keane.

Erin Keane.

“Mothwoman” by Nicole Cushing.

Nicole Cushing.

WHAT TO SEE: GALLERY ROUNDUP

By Jo Anne Triplett | leo@leoweekly.com

A GALLERY roundup of art shows to see in Louisville this month. Note: This list is a selection of current exhibitions.

“ROBERT

MORGAN: MYTHS AND STORIES”

Through December 2023

Solo show by Lexington artist Robert Morgan.

“FRAGILE FIGURES: BEINGS AND TIME”

Through December 2023 A group exhibition of portraits.

21C LOUISVILLE

700 W. Main St.

Hours: Mondays-Sundays, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 21cmuseumhotels.com

“PASTEL, GRAPHITE AND MUD”

Through Jan. 31

Drawings by N. Deborah Hazlett and ceramics by David Rodger.

APERTURE CREATIVE SPACE

Mellwood Art Center 1860 Mellwood Ave., #128

Hours: Fridays-Saturdays, 12-6 p.m. mellwoodartcenter.com

HOLIDAY SHOW

Through Jan. 13

Featuring original artworks from local and regional artists.

BOURNE-SCHWEITZER GALLERY

137 E. Main St., New Albany, Indiana

Hours: Thursdays-Fridays, noon-5 p.m.; Saturdays, 1-3 p.m. bourne-schweitzergallery.com

“DISPOSITIONAL GRANULARITY”

Through Feb. 12

Acrylic ink paintings by Uhma Janus.

CAPACITY CONTEMPORARY EXCHANGE

641 W. Main St.

Hours: Wednesdays-Thursdays, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.; Fridays, 12-8 p.m.; Saturdays-Sundays, 12-4 p.m. capacitycontemporary.com

1512 Portland Ave.

Hours: Mondays-Fridays, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m.2 p.m. �ıfteen-twelve.com

ANNUAL HOLIDAY EXHIBIT

Through January

Work by Dennis Mader, Cheryl Chapman and Kevin Lippy.

GALERIE HERTZ

“OVER THE MOON: THE ECLECTIC ART OF ANN FARNSLEY”

Through Jan. 7

Art by the Vevay, Indiana, resident who died in 2021.

CARNEGIE CENTER FOR ART & HISTORY

201 E. Spring St., New Albany, Indiana

Hours: Mondays-Wednesdays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Thursdays, noon-8 p.m.; Fridays and Saturdays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. carnegiecenter.org

ANNUAL STUDENT EXHIBITION

Through Jan. 6

Show of work by selected BFA students.

CRESSMAN CENTER FOR VISUAL ARTS, UNIVERSITY OF LOUISVILLE

100 E. Main St.

Hours: Wednesdays-Fridays, 11 a.m.-6 p.m.; Saturdays, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. louisville.edu/cressman

“LIVE FLY, STAY FLY”

Through Jan. 8 Louisvillian Brandon Hill’s art focuses on people’s deepest desires.

“BIRTH

OF AN AMERICAN BEAST”

Through Jan. 14

Solo show of Imuzi Thompson’s paintings and drawings.

“RETURN TO THE BEATEN PATH”

Through Jan. 14 Pottery by Autumn McKay Lindsey.

FIFTEENTWELVE CREATIVE COMPOUND

1253 S. Preston St.

Hours: Thursdays-Saturdays, 12-5 p.m.; most Sundays, 12-4 p.m. galeriehertz.com

“WINTER IN KENTUCKY”

Through Jan. 7

A group exhibition in various media of Kentucky winters.

“BEAUTIFUL

DIFFERENCES”

Jan. 10-Feb. 13

An all media show that explores the differences in our world.

GALLERY 104, ARTS ASSOCIATION OF OLDHAM COUNTY

104 E. Main St., La Grange

Hours: Tuesdays-Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. aaooc.org

“IN THE WEEDS: CAMOUFLAGE AND ITS DISCONTENTS”

Through Jan. 8

Group exhibition examining camou�lage uses in the military and fashion and the meanings behind it.

HOUSEGUEST GALLERY

2721 Taylor Blvd.

Hours: Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. search Instragram and Facebook

GRETA MATTINGLY

Through March

Solo show by one of the resident artists.

KENTUCKY FINE ART GALLERY 2400-C Lime Kiln Lane

ENTERTAINMENT

Hours: Tuesdays-Fridays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. kentucky�ıneartgallery.com

“NATUREISH/NURTUREISH”

Through Jan. 22 Monica Stewart uses paper, wood and �ıbers to explore the facts and �ıctions of connections between nature and humans.

“ERASURE’S EDGE”

Through Jan. 22 Solo show by Noel W. Anderson re�lecting on the many interpretations of erasure.

KMAC MUSEUM

715 W. Main St.

Hours: Wednesdays-Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. kmacmuseum.org

“INSPIRED”

Through Feb. 15 Shawn Marshall solo exhibition featuring landscape paintings and abstract mixed media pieces.

LOWBER

PILATES AND GALLERY

1734 Bonnycastle Ave.

Hours: Mondays-Thursdays, 8 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Fridays, 8 a.m.-4 p.m.; Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. lowberpilates.com

“CLOUDS, DREAMS”

Through Jan. 21 Solo exhibition by Nashville artist Marilyn Murphy

MOREMEN GALLERY

710 W. Main St., Suite 201

Hours: Thursdays-Saturdays, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. moremengallery.com

“FROM THE MELANCHOLY PAST”

Through March 31 Photographs by Diana Schoenfeld.

PAUL PALETTI GALLERY

713 E. Market St.

Hours: Mondays-Fridays, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. paulpalettigallery.com

“NEW MEMBERS”

Through Jan. 29

Work by new members Dessie Spears, Katherine Corcoran and Mary Burnley.

PYRO GALLERY

1006 E. Washington St. Hours: Fridays-Saturdays, noon-6 p.m.; Sundays 1-4 p.m. pyrogallery.com

“WINTER

WONDERLAND”

Through Jan. 3

Annual show of ornaments.

REVELRY BOUTIQUE + GALLERY

742 E. Market St.

Hours: Mondays, 11 a.m-5 p.m.; Tuesdays-Saturdays, 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sundays, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. revelrygallery.com

David Rodger.

MUCHA: ART NOUVEAU VISIONARY”

“ALPHONSE

Through Jan. 23 Exhibition on a master of the Art Nouveau poster.

“SAM GILLIAM (1933-2022)”

Through Feb. 26

In honor of Gilliam’s recent death, the museum is showing works by the former Louisvillian.

“KENTUCKY WOMEN: HELEN LAFRANCE”

Through April 30

Retrospective of the late Kentucky artist’s work.

SPEED

ART MUSEUM

2035 S. Third St.

Hours: Fridays, 1-8 p.m.; Saturdays-Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. speedmuseum.org

MAGAZINE RACKET

BY SAM EZERSKY | EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ No. 0508

ACROSS 1 Make a bust, say 7 Chew (on) 11 Ointment amounts 15 Modern lead-in to mania 19 ‘‘Enough!’’ 20 Contemporary of Picasso 21 Factory watchdog, in brief 22 Native of the country whose national sport is oil wrestling 23 Bit of company swag for a Genius Bar staffer? 25 With 114-Across, exasperated question to parking enforcement? 27 Awesome time 28 Elements of a Sherlock Holmes sports mystery? 30 A small part of who you are 31 Prefix with medicine 32 ‘‘Duck Dynasty’’ network 33 Irish ____, popular St. Patrick’s Day cocktail 36 Like much toothpaste 38 Mountain mammal 42 Plant cultivated by the Incas 43 Program after undergrad, for some 47 ‘‘____ rate . . . ’’ 48 Today’s plans: watchin’ someone’s kids? 54 Broadband inits. 55 Overrun 56 ‘‘Mr. Mom’’ actress Teri 57 Data output denoted by ‘‘N/A’’ 59 Super Bowl in 2022 61 Come on down! 63 Name that’s a body part in reverse 64 It may be measured in both feet and meters 65 How much Michael Jordan or Wilt Chamberlain could score, hyperbolically? 71 Lead-in to cross 72 Happy companion 73 Focus of the website Brickipedia 74 ‘‘The Hangover’’ character who wakes up with a missing tooth 75 Eschews grains and processed foods, perhaps 78 Common results of penalties 80 Writers such as Sappho 85 Waze way: Abbr. 86 Missile silo’s holding? 89 Pie slices might be displayed in one 91 Natural application to waterproof a ship’s hull 92 Guacamole go-with? 93 Engine type, informally 94 Playwright Edward 97 Hidden obstacle 100 Transport on a river 102 Transport on a rail

‘‘Dope!’’

Where Sweet’N Low displays its logo?

T as in Tartarus

See 25-Across

Cry following an electrical malfunction?

Rufus and Chaka Khan’s ‘‘____ Nobody’’

Like garage floors, often

Slight amount

Old English folklore figure

Jumbo

When said three times, ‘‘What have we here?!’’

Music score abbr.

Jaguar two-seaters starting in 2013 DOWN

América (soccer tournament)

They call ’em as they see ’em

Text back and forth?

Like pioneering search engines of the 1980s

Polka-influenced music style

Yukon and Acadia, for two

Canon competitor

Sizable urban construction project

King of the gods in Wagner’s ‘‘Der Ring des Nibelungen’’

Ann of Hulu’s ‘‘The Handmaid’s Tale’’

Rubbish receptacle

Hindi name for India

Smooth and glossy

Company computer fixers, informally

Like a situation at the start of an inning

Ounce of praise, jocularly

Slangy stuff to sell

Placed

‘‘ . . . must all learn to live together as brothers, ____ will all perish together as fools’’: M.L.K. Jr.

Bygone messaging app

Cheer for the Vikings

Poker giveaway

Certain outbuilding

Doth proceed

Fun plans after work, say

Stuff in stuffed pasta shells

Aphid that produces honeydew

‘‘Ooh, check it out!’’

Happened to

Really miff

What only one planet, Jupiter, is spelled with

____ Hard Apple (beer brand)

Not connected

Name that’s ‘‘all the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word,’’ on Broadway

Liver, in Le Havre

Like church bells

‘‘Bye 4 now!’’

‘‘Power Lunch’’ airer

Maryland athlete, for short

End in ____

Doesn’t waste

Thanksgiving dinner offering

Very important

PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON

SAVAGE LOVE

By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage

THE WATCHER

Q: When I first got engaged to my wife, I tried to ease into a conversation about cuckolding, but it went poorly. I tried to broach the subject by telling her monogamy wasn’t a requirement for me and she got upset. She thought I wanted to have sex with other women. I do not. I reassured her of that fact and dropped the subject, but she still doesn’t believe me. Whenever she’s feeling insecure, she brings up that conversation from five years ago. I don’t know you at all and this is anonymous, so I have no reason to lie: I do not want to have sex with women other than my wife. I want her to have sex with other men. I want to be her cuckold. I want her to cheat on me. I have seen some married men online who are living the life I dream about (if the stuff they post about being cuckolds is true). I get depressed knowing some men have what I want. How did they get it? How do I get it? Do I risk raising the subject of monogamy again?

Difficulties Renegotiating Expectations Around Monogamy

A: I got on Twitter—perhaps for the last time—to track down one of the guys you mentioned, DREAM, i.e., one of the guys living the life you dream about and posting the proof all over his social media accounts. His handle on Twitter is @CyclicCycle, DREAM, his wife’s handle is @Miss_On_Top. He managed to get what you want. So, how did he get it? And how can you?

“The short answer: With a lot of communication, literature, podcasts, and patience,” said Cycle.

Cycle was never a jealous person. If anything, he was the opposite of jealous. “Even before cuckolding was integrated into my mental lexicon,” said Cycle, “things like other guys hitting on my girlfriend or buying her drinks were huge turn-ons for me.”

Eventually Cycle met the woman who would become his wife, and while they enjoyed a varied and pretty kinky sex life, cuckolding wasn’t always a part of it. But when Cycle decided to broach the subject, DREAM, he was honest and direct—in other words, DREAM, he didn’t make the mistake you did. He didn’t speak about nonmonogamy generally, but about his emerging interest in cuckolding specifically. He didn’t ease into the conversation, he jumped in.

“Now, it wasn’t a massive stretch to get to cuckolding from our already kinky lifestyle,” said Cycle. “And while I think it helped that we approached the topic more from a kink perspective than a non-monogamous perspective at first, even then we also didn’t go from zero to 60 in an instant.”

Zooming out…

When you look at the social media accounts of guys who are in successful cuckold relationships—when you beat off looking at their accounts—you need to remember that you’re seeing their most recent posts first. Meaning, you’re seeing where they arrived, DREAM, and not where they started.

Zooming in… You brought up non-monogamy, not cuckolding, and somehow thought your wife would take you from zero to

60, i.e., you thought your wife would hear you say “nonmonogamy” and instead of thinking what most people would when their partner broached the subject of nonmonogamy (“He wants to fuck other people!”), DREAM, you hoped your wife would either react so positively you felt you could pivot to your non-monogamy-adjacent kink (“I want you to fuck other people!”) or even that she might leap to the opposite of the likeliest conclusion (“He wants me to fuck other people!?!”). And that is 1. not how it works and 2. not how you get what you want.

“I recall discussing with my wife that we could make up our own rules, and build our own a la cart dynamic,” said Cycle, “which made her feel much more comfortable. It also didn’t hurt that chastity was already part of our kink repertoire. We eventually progressed to a more traditional FLR/Cuckolding dynamic, but we allowed it time to develop organically.” (FLR = “female-led relationship.”)

Cycle’s wife had a lot of reservations about opening up their relationship, DREAM, even though they were only opening things up—per Cycle’s desires—on her side. So, they started out slow with a lot of fantasy play and dirty talk before moving on to low-stakes/light-hearted/ baby-step “first dates” with other men. Only after they both felt comfortable with the cuckold dynamic in theory did the move on to cuckolding—Cycle’s wife having sex with other men—in actual practice.

And it wasn’t just about what Cycle wanted for himself, DREAM, but about what Cycle wanted for his wife and, more importantly, about what his wife wanted for herself.

“When my wife and I first started dating I had already had significantly more partners,” said Cycle. “So, one of the most genuine things I wanted for my wife was for her to have more experiences with other partners. Suffice to say, cuckolding for us, is much more about fulfilling her wants, needs, and desires.”

Follow Cycle on Twitter @CyclicCycle.

Q: My partner and I have known each other for 10 years. We fell madly in love, had a rich erotic and sexual relationship, and have explored ethical nonmonogamy together. In the past year there was a shift— a lessening of passion that I mistakenly attributed to a lack of desire for me. Then my wife started seeing a therapist, which subsequently brought her Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) to the surface. Previously she was able to keep it hidden; she only occasionally let on that she was unhappy with herself. We had been seeing a therapist together to discuss the ENM aspect of our relationship, but she asked me not to bring her BDD into these sessions. Recently, she decided it was too painful to continue. We have had two private conversations about it, and in the last one she took PIV off the table. Being seen or touched naked is just too painful/ shameful for her. In-depth relationship communication is not a strength for us—based partly on the shame, pain, and guilt over this disorder, as well as other cumulative traumas from her past. We love each other very much and I have committed to being a strong and supportive partner. Based on this limited information, Dan, can you offer suggestions to help me manage this

challenge? I don’t want to make things worse or create more problems, but I want my lover back.

Lamenting Over Sorrowful Times

A: You haven’t lost your lover. She’s still in your life and you’re still having some kind of sex—I mean, I assume you’re still having some kind of sex. You specifically mention your partner taking PIV off the table, LOST, along with… well, along with any other kind of sexual contact that requires her to be seen and/or touched naked, which wouldn’t leave a lot on the table. But I have to assume something was left on the table, LOST, however meagre, otherwise you would’ve said your partner cut off all sexual contact. But you didn’t say that… so I’m going to assume that hasn’t happened… at least not yet. Your partner clearly has a lot of work to do in therapy, LOST, and you can be supportive while also being clear about your own needs/expectations/hopes for your future together… a future where you hope to reconnect sexually. If your partner isn’t comfortable talking about your reasonable needs/expectations/hopes in any depth—or if she experiences your reasonable needs/expectations/ hopes as coercive—taking a break from your relationship while she does the work may be in her own best interests.

Q: Why—why, why, why—do young cis gay dudes insist on calling their assholes “cunts” and “pussies” these days? I heard you talking about this on your podcast. As a woman with an actual vagina, I find this incredibly offensive and want it to STOP.

Your Assholes NOT Of Pussies’ Equal

A: Back when I was a young cis gay dude, YANOPE, most young cis gay dudes objected—vociferously—to any suggestion that their assholes resembled, in form or function, women’s pussies. And most didn’t want their assholes associated with female genitalia because they thought lady parts were disgusting and, even worse, they didn’t care who knew it. Now, young gay men are much better about vulvas and vaginas—some even fuck/ date/marry other gay and bi men who have vulvas and vaginas—and they don’t care who knows it. So, what I’m basically saying here, YANOPE, is pick your poison: cis gay dudes who think pussy is icky and gross and will angrily reject any comparison/association or cis gay dudes who think pussy is powerful and amazing and will happily make the comparison/association themselves. The choice seems obvious to me.

P.S. It has been my experience—ahem—that younger gay men mostly do the thing you’re complaining about during sex. They don’t do it during Zoom meetings or when they’re having dinner with their lesbian pals. So, I don’t see how this impacts you. Even if it did, YANOPE, you can’t control what other people say during sex—with the exception of people you’re having sex with—and attempting to dictate terms is a waste of time.

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