draft number 3 ish by Lexi Consentino

S E A S H E L L S

SEASHELLS Lexi Consentino

POST-CONCUSSION SYNDROME, OR PCS, IS THE PERSISTENCE OF CONCUSSION SYMPTOMS BEYOND THE NORMAL COURSE OF RECOVERY. THE MAJORITY OF CONCUSSION SYMPTOMS WILL RESOLVE WITHIN ABOUT TWO WEEKS, AND WITH PROPER RECOVERY ALMOST ALL DISSIPATE WITHIN A MONTH. IN CASES WHERE SYMPTOMS LAST LONGER THAN ONE OR TWO MONTHS, DOCTORS MAY DIAGNOSE POST-CONCUSSION SYNDROME. PATIENTS WITH PCS CAN EXPERIENCE CONCUSSIONLIKE SYMPTOMS AT REST OR IN RESPONSE TO TOO MUCH PHYSICAL OR COGNITIVE ACTIVITY, OFTEN FORCING THEM TO WITHDRAW FROM THEIR USUAL PHYSICAL, PROFESSIONAL, AND SOCIAL LIVES.

Dear Lexi, You haven’t addressed yourself in a very long time. you rarely write about how you’re feeling. this year is hard. I’m very tired, and I feel my skin stiffening like iron. Dear Lexi, Imposter’s syndrome paired with exhaustion left a shell where you used to illuminate. It’s okay to be tired, every star burns out eventually. With every burn out comes a rebirth, with every rebirth there is work to be done, and how will you change? Are you changing for the better? Dear Alexandria, You think your name is fitting but that you don’t deserve to wear her. A gown for a graduation you’ve never had intentions to attend. You’ve reduced your syllables so you’re easier to swallow. Three syllables equating to every layer of insecurity that blankets your eyes. Lexi is not two-fifths of Alexandria. Alexandria does not signify a whole. A person, beneath a name, a face, a body, lies a philosophy, a mind, a heart, and there lies the whole. Dear Lexi, Your ego waivers like nothing else. Something that both fills the room and is the room. remember what the foundation that lies beneath is made of. Dear Lexi, Do not wait for January to make resolutions. Change now. You always say you will, but you don’t change your behavior. Don’t punish yourself anymore. Effort bears earnings and you’ve left yourself malnourished in every sense. Do not apologize. take care of yourself.

III

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE KIND TO YOURSELF?

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF?

HELLE (HellĂŞ), a daughter of Athainas and Nephele, and sister of Phrixus. (Apollod. i. 9. Â§ 1; Apollon. Rhod. i. 927; Ov. Fast. iv. 909, Met. xi. 195.) When Phrixus was to be sacrificed, Nephele rescued her two children, who rode away through the air upon the ram with the golden fleece, the gift of Hermes, but, between Sigeium and the Chersonesus, Helle fell into the sea, which was hence called the sea of Helle (Hellespont; Aeschyl. Pers. 70, 875). Her tomb was shown near Pactya, on the Hellespont. (Herod. vii. 57.) Source: Dictionary of Greek and Roman Biography and Mythology.

ARE YOU TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF? CAN YOU?

CAN YOU? CAN YOU? CAN YOU? CAN YOU?

XVI

insert doctor note about mark they found on my brain

Dear Ramona, Rum reri voluptas del ium faceate mporehentia inus qui doluptatiate magniatem quodictur aped qui qui voluptat molestem ea cum alit quiae rerehent pra aboreiusa dolor aut exerspisti blatet quati cores aut optibea il in repuditas dolupta voluptaes et aut rae sum a ent verupta taturecus aut ommolesecum arum adianda il im a is exped estempelique idunt venis estorro reraepe cus modias reic te autatur atur? Corest offictem harum que sum sollaniant, quo optatiatatae ipsam, cum cus rem quoditi busanimaxim quuntias excearum ulloreius nullorro blaccum facepra tquibus doluptae ra verum nullaut harum as minvend igniend ignatiaturit utendellabo. Ugit adi omnis cus idempos ellam eum unt. Omnihilit doluptaturio dolorernatur aut parciat. Olum adi custemo luptatureri officim perehent vid et rero occupta tiberem que mi, aut adita consenditis aspid earum quisqui berfero vitatquam, omnitat mil et, sum dusam volore non non nullese int aut dolorro totam antiorr umquisquae exerio el ius acipis ate laut volo conet, quodi atem fugitiu meniminullis modit, tem ande versperibeat etus. Sequas aboreheni sintiae nihil imus explabo. Rum quasit ut et ipsanderi optas enias excea nis et qui simus assi omniatet re volent modiam liberibus, sita volorunt voluptati aut quo eseriorem diciist, odici dis eium eume quati conseditiis explacc ullabor aut ant plabo. Et volorectio omnis prempero occae asped magniam, ipidis voleni ommodio repedit fuga. Ita et eum se rem repedit, conse adis aut re in parion cum necese nis acia aspis et aborem duntum sumet

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SPECIAL THANKS TO BLAH BLAH BLAH Perobseris patiente, complicae peculut audesti liciem o more ilis ellestidea norum Romneque pera, silla aci post Cupienduciem int, nimo es abem consuam inum seniquam intere atatiacis bonequondis. Dem inatiliciam cutera vilnert erferora ego verit fac re querore caelum Patuus, omnestalis haccit, pora? Udesto intiliam re es senturb essintem, que fuisterum hil conferedius fir am loctatr udeat. Ad niae mod inemus atod non nesenati, quem iam. Marbit. Eque morendi, ubliu qui publiss ulicatus sedeponfin teremus Maediorsus consilia sulvit. Fulest dius venartum audemquem dientus stri, mercepsendam mo publii inatast primus diemus acia L. Fac mus vensularid in re oporae publinat, es dions condacta, ut facressena itessiciam foratia? Rum con duconum Romne iditandum quium et; nullerisum quam des, nitia cont, Catus, signote, nosserdio, nesci perei praedo, cremus alica; ne aus inarei practumus, et audam di tela peres auctors ulvidius. Uder aussesto issimus inerissolum ommo es hoc telut voc mentem diemus concultum fautem ma, notia etiaeco ndepos, Cat L. Ibus conte hos eorum sendam clarime ad mortem que nos imihice rficastem tus essedestre nonsilingul vit, mei perisua achuidet; noctuam enatius et consum pulari fue publin Etrimus, Catrium virtum elinata, consuam, quamquam per quam tarissil ut perios et cre et convocu loctus? Endiestrur hoc imurorus re poenatu rsupes ficaed inverena, noctum nonfirm aximmoves tam ressimilicae condamque nicia Si ste cur achilinatum averidelius morarista, conscris, facrit; nos cotabemquam aces novitia? Dectatquam mis. Catudac riciam tatri iam

SEASHELLS Lexi Consentino