Religion (December 2011)

aletheia

December 2011 Religion

www.lhsaletheia.org

Mission Aletheia, which means “truth” in Greek, is a student outreach publication that strives to provide a voice for all students at Lynbrook High School. Inspired by Los Gatos High’s Reality Check and Monta Vista’s Verdadera, Aletheia was created to facilitate communication and overcome stigmas concerning prevalent and taboo issues within the Lynbrook community. At the beginning of the school year, the staff designates a list of monthly topics pertaining to the realities of high school. Each issue of the publication comprises of firsthand experiences submitted anonymously by Lynbrook students and alumni, professional articles relating to that month’s theme, and resources compiled by the student staff. Finalized newsletters are published into a PDF format and emailed out to Lynbrook families. Back issues may be found on our website, under Archives.

The content in Aletheia is composed by the students at Lynbrook High School in San Jose, California. Ideas and thoughts expressed within the publication do not necessarily reflect those of school administration or staff.

This is the third issue of Aletheia for the 2011-12 school year.

Submissions All Lynbrook students and alumni are eligible to submit stories to Aletheia. We publish every submission that adheres to our guidelines, which may be found on the website.

The Aletheia staff is committed to preserving the integrity of your submission and will not make any changes, with exception to certain profanity (which will be asterisked-out).

We do not edit stories for grammar or syntax.

Our January topic is Sex; submissions are due by December 16. If you are interested in sharing your experiences, a submission box and a suggestion form for future topics are both available online.

Student Staff: Aishwarya Nene, Austin Yu, Daniel Kao, David Lu, Eileen Bang, Erica Yin, Frances Guo, Gloria Lin, Hana Zait, Helen Jun, Kimberly Vaz, Jane Jun, Jessica Cao, Steven Chao, Varshaya Visvanathan Advisers: Cindy Wen & Miko Otoshi

Religion

December 2011

I

t’s weird coming out. But I will anyway. I am an atheist. I used to be agnostic once but then I realized that being agnostic about God means being agnostic about unicorns and gryffins as well. When I was younger, I prayed for some sort of higher being to help me get better grades; it was a foolish thing to do, good grades come from hard work and effort, not anything else. So what do I believe? I believe that I have to live the best life that I can in the short time I have. I believe in love and tolerence. I believe in humanism. That’s all, and that’s enough.

“You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.”

- Swami Vivekananda

R

eligion has played a significant part in my upbringing. I was born in a devout Hindu household. From a young age I denounced my religion. I hated religion in general. The idea that people would put their trust in a imaginary being which they’ve never seen instead of rational thinking really puzzled me. Religion brought about so much disaster in the world. Everything is religion driven.We fight wars for religion and face genocide for it. What are the positive things it brings? I hate religion with a passion, and I hate anyone who believes in it. I’m not an extremist however. I know theres nothing I can do about religious people, I just try my hardest to avoid them and the propaganda they try to spread. Too many people have died for the sake of religion. Tell me, if god really did exist would we still have famine, disease and war?

Of course not. The fact that people decide to pray after a tsunami instead of actually rebuilding astonishes me.

What good will sitting around do? Why don’t you act instead? Let me give you an example. When I was a kid my family and I went to India weeks after the Boxing day tsunami. Even as an 8 year old, I couldn’t believe that these people decided going to the temple was a quicker way of solving the problem than physically doing something about it was. It changed my views on religion forever. From then on, I promised to put faith in myself rather than some external force no one has seen. Even now, my mother chooses to sit and pray when something bad happens. It drives me insane. I choose to be rational and not put my faith in god for the fact that he has never been very good to me. I can’t think of one instance in my childhood (when I was

2

religious) that god ever helped me when I prayed. I just hope that the future generations don’t fall into this religion scam. ~~~

M

y family is Christian. I grew up accompanying my parents to church on Sundays. My grandmother is an active member of her church where she lives, and when she visits, she is an active member in local churches as well. These visits to church never had a huge impact for me as a child. I simply went with my family to church, memorized the passages they gave us in Sunday School, and prayed with the rest of the churchgoers. At home, I prayed every night and read out of my Christian inspiration book.

Otherwise, though, it didn’t play much of a role in my life. I stopped going to church during my last years of elementary school. My sister was in high school then, and she was caught up in SATs, AP classes, and other schoolwork. Our entire family stayed home so that she could have Sunday mornings to work. Despite that, however, I remained firm in my faith. I continued to pray, and I began to read the Bible. In sixth grade, I lost my aunt when her husband killed her in a drunken fit of rage. The rest of my family turned to God, but I started to turn away. Unbeknownst to my parents, I had been praying to Him to keep her safe, because I had felt something amiss in my aunt’s relationship with her husband, but He neglected my pleas. Since then, I have been uncertain about my faith in God. Even before my aunt’s passing, though, I was never an extremely devout Christian. In fact, I was rather frightened by some of my peers’ absolute devotion and trust. I felt that their faith in an intangible entity could potentially be misplaced. I believed in God, and I believed that He loved me and that He would always protect me, but I did not put everything in His hands, as I was taught. Today, my family holds strong their Christian faith, and my grandmother is more immersed in church than ever. (When my grandfather left her a widow, she turned to church for solace.) On the other hand, I have removed my cross charm that I had worn for six years. I still say I’m Christian -- I want to believe in a merciful entity and I want to believe that God will catch my every fall -- but really, my beliefs are more agnostic than everything. I don’t know how to tell my family, though. They’re not extremely religious, but they expect that, like my grandmother, I will find refuge in church and with God when I am in need.

Religion

Volume 2: Issue 3

I still say I’m Christian, but I’m not sure about that anymore.

“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness... the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.”

I

- Dalai Lama

completely believe in God. And, it’s not because I’ve been raised a Catholic all my life. I feel, even with my limited life experience, I have experienced things so completely unexplainable that they can only be from God. This happened very recently actually, two weeks prior (or thereabouts) my uncle on my mothers side unexpectedly passed away. Now this uncle was the only real brother my mother had, her other four brothers were either deadbeat or abusive in some way and she had never truly considered them brothers. But this uncle had been her dearest brother, she loved him and he loved her and the love between them was very clear, so when she heard the news my mother was on the verge of depression from the loss.

That night her sadness crept into her heart and she was nearly unresponsive from the shock and depression and I wept for my uncle, my mothers state, and for the fact that my mother was in so much pain. And through my sobbing I managed to pray, silently, within the confines of my own mind. I prayed that my mother would slowly begin to heal, that joy would replace her sorrow, and that my uncle would be safely up in heaven, kept warm by God’s love. That night I cried my self to sleep while holding a rosary close to my chest. Then the next morning I woke earlier than everyone else and decided to take a shower to try and scrub the emotional baggage from me. As I came out of the shower on the fogged up mirror I saw the most wonderful and creepy sight. On the fogged up mirror the shape of a completely perfect cross as clear as if someone had walked into the bathroom while I was in the shower and drew it themselves. When I saw that cross I immediately felt better though and I decided I’d just go on with my day, maybe make breakfast for the family because my mother was still probably in shock. When I emerged from my room, however, to my shock my mother was bustling around in the kitchen, she even managed a crooked smile and hug when I greeted her. It seemed

as though God had indeed answered my prayers. On a less touching note this morning when i was looking for my drivers license that I hadn’t been able to find for the past week I finally got so frustrated I prayed to Jesus and Saint Anthony (patron saint of lost things) and within the next 5 minutes I was able to find my license. These experiences and many other much more mundane ones have really affected me and helped me understand my own religious views. They’ve also helped me further my relationship with God and have helped in making me feel less alone because even if I’m in a room with a bunch of strangers, I’ll always have God(even if he’s not the best conversational partner).

“Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe.”

- Augustine

W

hen it comes to religion sometimes I wonder if there’s some truly awesome deity hidden from us “mere mortals” that is confused as to why for the greater part of human existence we’ve come up with various Gods and beliefs. Maybe this unknown deity is mouthing to his equally unknown companions (in * stellar surfer boy voice) “IDK man~~ these humans... they’re just weiiiirrrrddd”. While I spend time pondering this, I also spend time wondering if there even is a God at all sometimes, because what God would allow so many people to suffer while others have great excess? Usually my conclusion to these lines of thought end up in one place. Even if God isn’t real, to me he is, because without him, without knowing that there’s something greater than this existence right here. I don’t think I’d even have the will to live without at least this illusion of God. I don’t think I can live in a world where people can get away with murder during their life’s and won’t even get punished to eternal d***ation, or a world where people can be truly lost to us. No, I would much rather believe that when I die all my deceased loved ones will greet me, my old goldfish that died will come and lead me to my Mom, my Dad, my Grandparents, and I’ll walk off with them together to the pearly gates of heaven (hopefully not to hell) and we’ll live in God’s Kingdom happily (so long as I get wifi). *name removed for anonymity

3

Religion

December 2011

“Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.

Religion is answers that may never be questioned.”

- Anonymous

I

am on my way being a predator. Not to say I am one yet. I still have a conscience. But one day it would be battered down and really, what’s the point of keeping it around, right? Logic tells us we don’t really need it much. I thought about it, and I can strangely relate to Hawthorne’s Chillingworth. I feel like I could be easily going in his direction. I know I’m smart and I know I can read people; I can warp them for my benefit. Survival of the fittest. Social Darwinism. These philosophies make so much sense, you know, it’s no wonder that people really lived their lives based on those principles. People say their moral code will keep them from coming down this path, but it’s still not enough. Human will alone is not powerful enough.

They will be easily swayed. Media and society tells us to look inside for truth and love. But humans are communal beings. Lady Gaga? Madonna? They are admirable, the way they believe so much in the power of self. For a long time I watched their interviews on Youtube over and over again, strongly compelled by the message they shared: believe in yourself, be strong.

What a liberating thought! But I watched them closely.

They weren’t really happy. They weren’t really joyful.

They were still hurt by their past, other people in their lives. They weren’t free, just defiant. No, it is none of these... God is the answer, the magnificent puzzle piece that fits the world’s gaping, thirsty hole. But God is not just an answer, a concept that is the salvation of us all. God is living. How amazing is it that we can get to know him intimately? How amazing is it that we experience his love? Hear him speak to us every day?

That the days when I would cry alone in my bed, I could sense His love enveloping me, giving me guidance, and in the days that followed, see how He took care of me? When Jesus saw the mourners, he cried-not because he thought Lazarus was dead, no, he knew Lazarus would live--but because he was pained to see the people crying. I heard it every day at church- God loves you. But do we Sunday-Christians really understand what that means? I still have such a hard time

4

grasping it. Unconditional love that would die for you?

Imagine your closest family member. Would you kill him/her in order to save people who hate you? That’s what God did. What a contrast to Social Darwinism.

But in my relationship with Him, that is all that remains, that is what He tells me everytime I come to him. Everytime, it is His love that heals and changes.

Then, how can I not love Him back? Sometimes, I wish I could live 2000 years ago and meet Jesus face-to-face.

How fortunate they were that they could speak to Him, walk with Him. His message makes no sense-- love your enemies, be a servant to the poor, trust that it’ll be okay in calamity. Think of others before yourself. But now I have a reason to love. I have a reason to be joyful despite my circumstances, I have a reason to not fear death. I remember in 6th grade once, it struck me that I would die one day. I still remember that moment.

It was cold and relentless and alone. But now, I have a reason to say, “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” I have a reason to hope, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to say that I am more than a gladiator in an arena. Best of all, I get to know a Heavenly Father who loves me so much-- who calls me His. How He leaves me breathless- I will sing of His love forever!

“There is something in every atheist itching to believe, and there is something in every believer, itching to doubt.”

- Mignon McLaughlin

I

don’t understand how she believes in God. In other respects, she seems even perhaps hyperrational. She reacts so unbelievably well to everything that happens to her. Seriously, she’s going to grow up and take over the world and the world will like it. She’s an almost painfully good person. She’s not perfect but she’s unfairly closer than anyone else I’ve ever met.

And the icing on the cake is that she obviously has an incredible taste in men (me...) but it still baffles me that she believes in an unfalsifiable entity that resides presumably in the sky and despite being omnipotent doesn’t intervene to stop mothers, fathers, daughters and lovers from dying everyday. If there is a God, then why did he let our family lose this incredible woman who we mourn every day of every year? I see my father look at her picture on the wall and tear up more than I

Religion

Volume 2: Issue 3

to go away, I gave up. I asked for help. I wanted anyone to come and understand me, and I prayed, thinking that nobody could hear me. Then, I heard a voice calling for my name. There was a little picture of Jesus on my table, given to me by a religious friend a long time ago. It was glowing-”literally glowing”with a soft, kind light. I walked, over, confused, and picked up the picture. Suddenly, the light brightened. The glow lit up the entire room. I could feel it pierce through my soul, burning away the darkness that had covered me. When that brilliant light had finally faded, God stood in front of me in all his Majestic Glory. I fell to my knees, tears streaming down my face as I prayed. Everything was alright now, because I knew that God loves me. I was saved. .... ....You didn’t actually believe that story, did you? There’s actually some truth to that: I was suicidal and then I wasn’t. You want to know the true reason?

“Doubt is part of all religion. All the It’s because I don’t believe. First, a clarification: athereligious thinkers were doubters.” ism is a religion in the same way abstinence is a sex position. Now that we got everything over with, let’s move on to the true story. I used to be suicidal. It was - Isaac Bashevis Singer the result of the combination of hormones, stress, and loneliness. I was never formally diagnosed with depression, but I’m pretty sure I would have if I went to eligion. I’ve been exposed to Christianity my a therapist at that time. I thought about committing entire life; every Sunday ever since I was a suicide daily. I thought about religion and all its promtoddler I would go to church, and attend the youth ises, but then I realized that I don’t believe in an afterSunday school or the youth worship. Except I would life. I can’t believe in an afterlife. I can’t force myself to just go through the motions, and listen to the sermon believe in something that I know isn’t true, because I or the lecture given that day. To this day, I still don’t know that when I die my neurons would fail to receive really feel God in my life. Despite being on the wornutrients from my blood and they would wink out, one ship team, and attending activities at church on both by one, until all that’s left of me is a bunch of complex Saturday nights and Sunday mornings consistently, I still don’t think I have gained anything from it, besides carbon compounds. For an afterlife to be possible, my consciousness would somehow have to function the friendships I’ve made. I don’t feel His presence. individually from my neurons and what do they mean And then I think about religion as a whole, and how by consciousness, really? Am I conscious when I’m someone could have possibly just made it up as a way to keep people in line. Religion keeps many from com- asleep? Would I still be myself if I lose all my memories? That’s when it hit me: I only have one chance to mitting crimes, and gives others a feeling of security, live. Life might suck now, but I won’t have eternal hapknowing that a higher power is watching over them piness when I die. I won’t be able to start over. I won’t and guiding them along their miniscule lives. I really, ever have the chance of seeing everything get better. I really, really want to believe in God, to know that just would just be... well, dead. I don’t want to throw away by believing in Him everything will be all right. But I everything to live in an eternal void of nothingness. don’t see any current evidence. I don’t know what to It took a lot more rational thinking before my brain believe anymore. kicked my hormones in the balls and I completely pulled myself out of the ditch, but you know what? ~~~ I don’t need an invisible friend to feel better about used to be suicidal. Then, one day, while I was cry- myself. Life is awesome. (To all the people with depresing under my covers because I wanted everything sion: Don’t try this at home. Go get help. Seriously.)

would like to admit and I have no idea how to respond.

If you’re up there God, I have a serious f***ing bone to pick with you. Look, I respect religion, I respect that this Concept of God can give greater meaning to existence and answer questions about the great beyond. But honestly, at the end of the day, I don’t understand what is going on in her f***ing head. If there is a God (and he’s as likely as f***ing unicorns are) why the hell is this world so f***ing messed up? FYI: If your religious text espouses homophobic beliefs and you choose to accept those pieces of your religion, that makes you a homophobe. Freedom of religious expression doesn’t exist when your religion asks you to oppress men and women for their sexuality. Make a choice and stand up for what you believe in even if it pisses people off.

R

I

5

Religion

December 2011

I

myself don’t believe. As with most people though, I have many friends that do believe, in one religion or another. They don’t force their ideals against me, for which I am grateful. But as the topic is somewhat hard to talk about, even among friends, I really haven’t got to share my feelings with many people.

While I don’t think I will ever have the faith myself, I really envy many of my friends that do. It seems... relaxing, peaceful, to leave your entire being in the hands of some divine entity. I just feel that they truly are happier, they truly can sometimes just forget all their worries and I would imagine, it would be a great strain off one’s shoulders. For this, I envy you. I may not believe, but I will honor your beliefs. May they keep you happy, and may I find my own way to do the same... someday.

“Doubt is the beginning, not the end of wisdom.”

- Anonymous

E

veryday I’m waking up with a nauseating feeling that makes me feel wasted. I’m a decent boy in my sophomore year that’s trying to live life by attemping to get good grades and go to medical school someday. It’s been hard. Freshman year compared to sophomore year has been a joke. I’ve been constantly stressed out during sophomore year and bad weeks just keep coming on and on. It’s incredible to see how I don’t have any more time to TRY hard.. I’m trying to keep my faith strong with God. But it’s hard. I try to stick with christianity but its hard with all these influences of grades, stress, and s***. I’m f***ing serious. It’s d*** hard.

“True religion is real living; living with all one’s soul, with all one’s goodness and righteousness.”

-Einstein

6

I

’m an atheist. This is the part where plenty of you judge me, right? Although I hope that there are plenty more that wouldn’t. But I hate what people say about atheists: that we lack morals or that we all automatically judge people for having a religion. I don’t have a story about how I lost my faith or anything.

I’ve just never believed in God, or any other sort of higher power for that matter. I’ve been an atheist ever since I can remember. You know, once, when I was in elementary school, a friend invited me to her church group or something like that. I agreed, not really understanding what I was getting myself into. It turned out to be about two hours of people trying to convert me, which, as a 9-year-old, was a little awkward. At the time I was very confused and mostly just stayed quiet.

Now, though, it makes me angry. I don’t really blame my friend, since she probably didn’t really understand what she was doing at the time either and was just doing what the adults had asked her to do. But what made the people in charge think they had that right? I was only 9 years old! To try to convert a kid by getting them to sing religious songs and colour pictures is messed up. I don’t mind other people believing in religion or God or anything. Freedom of speech/religion, remember? You’re a Pagan? Awesome. You believe you should pray five times a day? That’s fine with me.

The only time I have a problem with religion is when people try to convert me or use their religion to treat people unequally. I have to admit, though, I don’t understand how people can believe in religion. How can you believe in someone who you have no proof exists?

But I don’t want to get into a debate about that here.

Sometimes I do wish religion didn’t exist. Just look at all the trouble it causes. Remember the Crusades?

Remember when people used the Bible to say that interracial marriage is wrong? Actually, remember not that long ago, when the Westboro Baptist Church came to Cupertino? And remember Prop 8? (For the uninformed, the Mormons played a big role in that getting passed.) Time and time again religion seems to cause more trouble than peace. People use it to pull all sorts of s***, which is ironic because most religions actually promote peace. You know, there’s “love they neighbor” in Christianity, and in Islam, you say “Peace be upon you” every time you greet someone. My point is, religion seems to detract from society more than it adds to it. For example, let’s take a current hot topic: LGBTQ rights. As someone who isn’t straight, I don’t appreciate people saying that I deserve to die, especially when

Religion

Volume 2: Issue 3

many of those people don’t even seem to have a proper understanding of the Bible (the same part that says “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind” also says you can’t eat shellfish, among other equally ridiculous things). The truth is, people are using religion every single day to keep me from getting the rights that I, as a human being, deserve. So do I carry a bit of resentment toward religion? Yes, I will admit that I do. However, I don’t judge people for being religious or dislike people who are religious, despite what other people may think. I just wish we could live in the world John Lennon described: a world without religion (among other things). Just imagine all the people living life in peace.

“If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.”

- Voltaire

M

y religion really changed me this summer.

One of the current experiences for me is praying a lot. I respond to the beliefs of other people by just talking to them, What I believe is so I share my testimony. My beliefs changed a bit. My religion affects my life by doing QTs. ~~~

R

eligion has always manifested itself in my childhood days in forms such as prayers before meals and weekly Sunday services. Within my family, the impact of religion seems somewhat superficial and empty, unlike the stories of the bible. In fact, while I was growing up, I could never reconcile the fact that what happened in biblical days looked so different from what happens today. At one point, I could not understand the purpose of going to church, but nevertheless, I kept going. I had questions constantly plaguing me about the nature of God and whether he was actually real or not. Then I started hearing stories of people whose lives were completely changed as a result of a miracle. These were people that were headed toward a life of crime, theft, drugs, sex, you name it.

Then I started to think more about whether there was actually a God or not. I mean, these people around me have so much to share, so much they’ve gone through,

and there’s no doubt that God worked some sort of miracle in these lives. But up to that point, I had never experienced anything. Up to that point, I continued going to church, sitting in the same building week after week with music and sermons and not really caring too much. Nothing really happened in church. It was the same old stuff over and over, and at first it was fun to be doing all the things, but after a while the habit just grew tiresome. I wondered if that was it. I wondered if Christianity was just a bunch of people sitting in a building every Sunday. I guess I called myself a Christian, just because of how I was raised, but I would often become ashamed and insecure about my beliefs around atheists, because I somehow knew that they would think I was stupid, argue with me about creation and gay rights, most of which I simply did not have an answer to. I was scared what people would think and how they would react if they found out that I called myself a Christian. The things I learned in church had very little practical basis for application in my life. Then, somewhat randomly, I started hanging out with a group of people who were absolutely driven to change the world. This group of people would approach strangers in stores, talk to homeless people on the streets, and do almost anything for anybody anywhere. My life was completely flipped upside down.

Everything I thought I knew about Christianity that I learned from church was blown into little bits and pieces. I began to see people instantly healed on the streets, people who were walking with crutches completely healed and delivered, people with broken arms instantly healed, and people who have had pain all their life completely delivered. Yes. My beliefs have changed. It all started to make sense after that.

That there was more than just church services, more than songs and sermons. I actually had within me the ability to change the world. And well, that’s what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.

“Religion: it’s a powerful healing force in a world torn apart... by religion.”

- Jon Stewart

7

Religion

Ingrid Higgins, MFT Ingrid Higgins has over 7 years of experience providing therapy for adolescents. She is skilled in assessing the situation, writing a treatment plan tailored to the individual family and child and helping her clients integrate what they discover in therapy into their lives. She has experience with adolescents who suffer from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, adjustment disorders, low self esteem, difficulty in relationships, failing school, and behavioral problems.

Ingrid Higgins is actively involved in the Campbell Community, she is on the board of Campbell Parent Participation Preschool, she is a member of Santa Clara CAMFT, she is a member of the South Bay Mentor Group and does volunteer childcare at a local church. She has worked for non-profit agencies including Future Families, CHAC (Community Health Awareness Counsel), has provided mental health counseling on a school campus and is now working in private practice at the Child Family Counseling Group.

Child Family Counseling Group 3880 S. Bascom Ave. Suite 115 San Jose, CA 95124 408-579-9806 Ingrid@childfamilygroup. com

8

December 2011 How do you learn about religion? How do you know what religion to join? Are you born into a religion? Are you the same religion as your parents? Does God even exist?

These are all questions that teens are asking. Some teens wonder about how they were brought up to believe in a certain way and are not sure if those beliefs are correct. Many teens are searching for answers to big life questions.

The ways that teens are taught about religion are: the media, friends, their history classes, the news, and family. The definition of religion is: 1. A set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, 2. A specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects. 3. The body of person adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices. Dictionary.com I believe that an important role for a teenager is to develop their identity. A part of this is figuring out what beliefs and practices you will adhere to. In fact Erik Erickson said that in the 5th developmental stage of life, “which individual experience during the adolescent years…..they are faced with finding out who they are, what they are all about, and where they are going in life.” It is typical behavior for a teen to try new roles. Erickson believed that parents should allow teens to “explore those different roles and different paths within a particular role. If the adolescent explores such roles in a healthy manner and arrives at a positive path to follow in life, then a positive identity will be achieved. If an identity is pushed on the adolescent by parents, if the adolescent does not adequately explore many roles, and if a positive future path is not defined, then identity confusion reigns.”

Some teens say that they cannot talk to their parents about religion because their parents are closed-minded. The question and concern which follows for me is; if parents are not open to a normal exploring of religion, then who will influence their teens? Will kids simply go with what is popular, or even what their friends do, or what the media says? Is that what parents and teens really want?

My faith was deepened when I went to college and was able to study other religions. Following homework assignments requiring me to attend services of a different religion helped me to see what was the same about all religions, how the words and rituals might be different, but at the heart they have much in common. The experiFOR PARENTS: ence opened my eyes. It made me more tolerPositive Discipline for Teenagers ant, and it strengthened my connection to my Jane Nelson own faith tradition. That’s the funny thing about choice and exploration: left to our own devices, Stages of Development free from the expectations of others and given the world to explore, we often come right back Erik Erikson home.

My recommendations for parents is that they The Five Love Languages of allow their teens to try different things, be open Teenagers to them coming to you, and be ready to have a Gary Chapman serious talk about what you believe and why you believe it.

FOR TEENS: My recommendations for teens is that you talk Choosing Church to someone you trust about religion. You can talk Carol E. Lytch& World Religions to a clergy member from the place of worship you attend or are curious about. Study church history, learn about different religious beliefs. At 101: An Overview for Teens the end of this article, I list a few books that are Margaret O. Hyde & Emily G. written for teens who want to learn more about Hyde religion. And take time to find out why your parents believe the way they do.

Additional Resources