IN-DEPTH
7
Lance halloween InDepth
HOW
not TO CARVE PUMPKINS L IBBY S E L I N E
MANAGING EDITOR
We were a gang of misfits on that October night. The sun was setting in the sky and there was a creative mist in the air. We Lance editors stood in the backyard with three pumpkins, some knives and a Disney princess carving set. We were determined to carve
the best pumpkins ever. However, as we settled down to carve the pumpkins, we realized how unprepared we were. My pumpkin was rotten. Celena struggled to carve her own, and Jack gave up within the first five minutes. We were done. So, we present to you how to not carve a pumpkin. As we figured out, we are experts in this matter and are willing to give you tips to make your Halloween a memorable one.
Step 1: Buy a rotten pumpkin
Step 4: Give up
As I sat down with my pumpkin, I realized that I got stuck with the worst pumpkin. So, great. It was disgusting, however, it was very easy to cut. Having a rotten pumpkin certainly made the night more eventful and the sound of me gagging added a pleasant element to this activity.
After a hard five minutes of carving and scraping the guts out of your pumpkin, you deserve a break. Cut some sort of shape into your pumpkin and stick a knife in it. Tell yourself you did a great job and simply walk away.
Step 5: Smash your pumpkin Step 2: Buy a Disney carving set I settled down with my rotten pumpkin and studied it. I determined that carving this pumpkin may just be the grossest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. The carving set quickly became the source of my struggle. I attempted to use the small princess shovel to get the guts out of my pumpkin. This did not work out well. After ten minutes of a rough attempt, I realized this carving set had failed me, and I left my pumpkin filled with guts.
If you want to spend more time with your pumpkin, don’t worry, there’s something else for you to do. Simply take the pumpkin in both of your hands and hold it above your head. Then throw it down on the ground as hard as you can and watch it break. If it doesn’t break on the first try, try and try again. Even jump on your pumpkin. Once your pumpkin successfully breaks, you are guaranteed to have a great Halloween.
Step 3: Break your carving tool As Celena was struggling to carve her own pumpkin, she called upon Jack’s assistance. He grabbed the best carving tool we had and started cutting a hole in the top of the pumpkin. In the process, the tool snapped, leaving the three of us angry, upset and dumbfounded. So, be sure to break your favorite carving tool, just like Jack did, to ensure the worst possible pumpkin design ever.
Photos and design by Nata Ward