Liberty Press Dec 2017 by Liberty Press Kansas

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WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

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WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

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Liberty Press

Volume 24, No. 4 • Editor: Kristi Parker • Contributors: Nolin Christensen, Charlene Lichtenstein, Dr. Robert N. Minor, Stephanie Mott • Staff Reporters: Grayson Barnes, Annette Billings, Ciara Reid, Jamie Rhodes, Beth Wasson • Contributing Photographers: Tony Applegate • Cover Design: Troy Dilport • Graphic Designer: Troy Dilport • Webmaster: Ren Autrey • Publisher: Liberty Press, LLC • Printer: Valley Offset Printing • Opportunities: The Liberty Press welcomes volunteer writers and photographers throughout the year. If you're interested in contributing to our publication, send an e-mail to editor@libertypress. net.

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KANSAS NEWS........................7 BRIDGES................................11 NATIONAL ELECTION NEWS12 TRANS-FORMATIVE..............17 MINOR DETAILS....................18 OUT IN THE STARS...............19 LEATHER LIFE.......................20 ON THE COVER: Rain's new direction...................6 Ken N Barbie'z Rollin Diner........8

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WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

Rain’s new direction: popular bar focuses on being a restaurant

By Beth Wasson WICHITA - A shower of change descended on Rain Café and Lounge recently. Gone are the dance floor, loud music, and colorful lights. Instead, more chairs and tables and a softer ambience fill the place, results owner Allen Mairs is happy with. He began the new format in January, after the opening of XY, and continues to tweak things slightly. When the venue opened in 2009 it was more of a nightclub. The small space with the even smaller dance floor coupled with a crush of people at night was too much for the historic Douglas Ave. building to handle. These concerns about wear and tear on the old structure spurred Mairs to tone the place down. The subtle alterations resulted in a tone more akin to a neighborhood bar and grill where customers come for food, talk, and relaxation. One thing that isn’t changing, the theme nights and charity events. Customer favorites like Bitchy Bingo, Karaoke, and Trivia

Nights continue along with more events in the future. Rain has already raised over $750,000 with the money going to local charities. Lunch and dinner are available every day, then after 10pm, Rain becomes more of a lounge with customers restricted to the 21 and over crowd. A few additional items join a diverse menu including appetizers, soups, salads, burgers, and sandwiches. Mairs recommends trying one of the four macaroni and cheese pasta dishes and saving room to taste the new dessert offerings. The Sunday morning brunch buffet is still a great bargain at under eight dollars per person. Rain is another one of a growing number of local restaurants partnering with Uber Eats, a service that delivers food orders to your door. Being downtown, Rain benefits from the many apartments in the area and the location is only a block north of Intrust Bank Arena. Events at the arena always bring hungry patrons. The cozy booths and bar area

After opening in 2009 as a gay nightclub that also served food, owner Allen Mairs, right, has toned down the atmosphere gradually. He's now focused on being a full-service restaurant what he sees as the future of the location.

offer USB chargers and power outlets plus Wi-Fi throughout the restaurant. The patio bar and separate pool table area are still there. But, running a fullservice restaurant needs more staff and Mairs plans on adding servers soon. Reservations are

recommended for events as the popular nights draw large crowds. Mairs believes the new format is the future of Rain and he is happy with the changes. Regular patrons seem pleased with the changes as well. l

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL. DECEMBER 2017 | LIBERTY PRESS | Page 7

Kansas News Heart of America Men’s Chorus presents “Mistletoe Magic”

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WICHITA - Looking for that one Christmas concert to get you in the holiday spirit? “Mistletoe Magic” may be just what you need this holiday season. Presented by the Heart of America Men’s Chorus, the concert will feature some old favorites and new contemporary songs of the Christmas holiday. The concert will be presented at the DeMattias Performance Hall on the Newman University campus at 3100 W. McCormick on Saturday, Dec. 9 at 7:30pm and Sunday, Dec. 10 at 4:30pm. Tickets are available at the door for $15 for adults and $5 for students. Songs featured in the concert include White Winter Hymnal, The Christmas Song, a contemporary arrangement of Frosty the Snowman, Straight No Chaser’s The Christmas Can-Can and many more. In addition, the ensemble group Voices from the Heart will entertain with a healthy dose of humor.

Ballet Wichita premieres all new Nutcracker

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WICHITA - Tickets for Ballet Wichita’s Nutcracker Ballet are now on sale. Ballet Wichita celebrates its 44th season with the premiere of an all new Nutcracker directed and choreographed by Sean McLeod. Based on the 1816 book by E.T. A Hoffman, this production is adapted by McLeod finding new colors of movement to Tchaikovsky’s music. Ballet Wichita will perform the Nutcracker Dec. 15-17 at Century II Concert Hall. The production features the Ballet Wichita Orchestra conducted by Wes DeSpain, Wichita State University’s Nick Johnson as Drosselmeyer, a cast of over 100 local and regional dancers, and internationally traveled guest artists from New York. Tickets start at $25 and are available at the Century II box office or wichitatix.com. For more information, visit www. balletwichita.com. l

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WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

Ken N Barbie’z Rollin Diner launches in Wichita

By Ciara Reid, staff reporter WICHITA - As the weather gets colder, thoughts naturally turn to the warmer seasons and all that comes with it: baseball games, beer drinking on patios and porches, and delicious food trucks. Those lucky enough to live in the Wichita area should keep their eyes peeled for a food truck that looks like it could be the Barbie Dream Camper. Yep, you read that right: your next favorite food truck obsession will likely come in the form of the vehicle of our childhood dreams, aptly named Ken N Barbie’z Rollin Diner. The owners of this magical food truck are Kelly Ake and Barbie Taber, a lesbian couple who have been together for more than three and a half years. To understand the story behind the name of the food truck, all you need to know is how they met. “She invited me and a few other friends over to swim and eat,” Ake recalls. “When I found out her real name was Barbie, I popped off and said my name was f***ing Ken. We all laughed

and so our friends kinda know the inside joke to Ken N Barbie.” Ake says that Taber has always loved to cook and wanted to own her own restaurant. Ake is the complete opposite. One evening, the couple started seriously discussing the possibility of running their own food truck. The discussion spiraled from types of food they would offer, to looking at food trucks for sale. “We started to look at food trucks immediately and went out of town to look at a truck in Lawrence,” Ake says. “I made some phone calls on all the licensing and BOOM it became a reality in about two to three weeks.” Then the real work began. Taber painted the truck and created the decal, with Ake’s assistance. Soon, they were ready for business. Ken N Barbie’z offers a wide variety of drool-worthy fresh eats from Taber’s recipes; items include Philly steak sandwich, fajita fries, double Barbie burger (with homemade spicy sauce), homemade chicken strips,

Ironically, despite the stereotypically heterosexual Ken and Barbie dolls, the Rollin Diner is run by a lesbian couple.

sriracha chicken rice, chicken parmesan, chicken and waffles, grilled club sandwich, grilled cheese with bacon, and chili dogs, to name a few. Ake and Taber have already included the Rollin Diner at fall festivals, local breweries, the Mattox Arena in Derby for Barrel Racing, vintage Market Days at Hartman Arena, fundraising events, and the farmers market since launching the food truck over the first weekend of September. And they already have

several events booked for 2018, including Topeka for Equifest, Pro Rodeo in Strong City, and the Vintage Markets Days in May. Ake says they’re also interested in growing their events portfolio to include weddings, corporate events, graduations, reunions, and private parties. Currently, Ake and Taber work full-time jobs in addition to the food truck. The grand plan, says Ake, is to run the food truck full time. For more information, visit the Facebook page at: Ken N Barbie’z Rollin Diner. l

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Local film Rosemary and Juliet debuted at Tallgrass Film Festival

bridges Awarded: Grayson Barnes, professor at Butler Community College and Liberty Press contributor, won first place in the Personal Essay category of the North American Mature Publishers Association competition on September 25, 2017. The winning essay appeared in The Active Age, February 2017 issue, a magazine for Kansas seniors in Sedgwick, Butler, and Harvey counties. Honored: Kim Morrissey, a WSU physical education lecturer, received the Wayne Osness Honor Award from the Kansas Association for Health, Physical Education, Recreation and Dance (KAHPERD) at the KAHPERD Convention the last week of October in Topeka. This is the highest award given to the profession in Kansas.

By Ciara Reid, staff reporter WICHITA - The short film Rosemary and Juliet contains no dialogue or plot, but it may be one of the most gripping, unique films you see all year – and it was created locally in Wichita. Directed and produced by Shane Wallace, the film stars Shanna Berry, Kaemie McCanless, Beckie Jenek, Mark Anderson, and Byron J. Love in a 30-minute visual experience. Rosemary and Juliet made its debut at this year’s Tallgrass Film Festival. Liberty Press had the chance to interview Wallace about the film. Liberty Press (LP): How did the idea for Rosemary and Juliet originate? Shane Wallace (SW): Rosemary and Juliet is an experimental film in terms of editing and artistic design. I wanted to make a film that was free of dialogue, melodrama, or any other filters to allow me to directly impact the audience through visual storytelling. We consider it a visual film rather than a silent film. I also have an amazing group of actors and other filmmakers who I want to constantly work with. Rosemary and Juliet was an excuse to work with [these] fine actors. LP: What is your goal(s) for the film? SW: Rosemary and Juliet

came from a desire to construct an emotionally stirring film primarily using editing and mise-en-scene. We wanted to create art rather than simply a movie. A short film allowed us to concentrate on cinematography and art direction. … [I]t was refreshing to work on a small project and pour our efforts into the details. We also constructed the film based on metaphor and symbolism to tell the story rather than plot and dialogue. To construct an array of emotionally gripping scenes was our main goal which I think we pulled off successfully. LP: Describe your involvement in the film – in front of the camera and/or behind the scenes. SW: Since this was a small project it gave me a chance to personally oversee every department during the production of the film. Not only was I the producer and director, but I was also the cinematographer and editor. Shanna Berry was essential in developing the art direction, design and color themes that run throughout the movie. LP: When was the film released? SW: The film began production in April 2017 and wrapped in June. The film saw its official release at the 15 th Annual continued on page 19

Anniversary: Liberty Press celebrated the 19th anniversary of Bob Minor’s column Minor Details in the November 2017 issue. He has never missed a column nor a deadline in all those years. Dr. Minor, is a Professor Emeritus at the University of Kansas, and the author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay and Healthy in a Sick Society. He also writes a regular column on relationships for 50PlusPrime.com. If you or someone you know is having an anniversary, received a promotion or award, or a loved one has passed away, we will publish it free in Bridges. E-mail editor@libertypress.net.

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Ben Blankley wins seat on Wichita School Board By Jamie Rhodes W I C H I TA - S B 5 6 w a s introduced in the Kansas Senate allowing prosecution of teachers if the parents don’t agree with the curriculum being taught. For instance, a teacher shows Michelangelo’s David statue in an art class, a parent can claim pornographic material was shown. The teacher can then be fined and even spend time in jail. The bill dissolved in the Kansas House. SB56 was a hard pill to swallow for some teachers, along with issues like recurring budget cuts, extended school hours, the lunch program and the transgender bathroom issue. Luckily, newly elected Wichita Public Schools, School Board District 1 Representative, Ben Blankley, believes teachers should be shown their value and worth: “Teachers are the experts in their own classrooms. We need to give them the authority to run their own classrooms as they see fit.” You may have seen Blankley’s familiar face in association with Wichita Shakespeare Company, Wichita Community Theatre or with other theater productions. A fan of hard science fiction, a Systems Integration Engineer at Spirit Aerosystems with a BS degree in Aerospace Engineering, husband and father; Blankley’s defining moment to

run for the school board was when, “I started hearing so many stories from faculty and parents about how they felt some of their concerns were not being adequately heard. Since I had a background in community activism, I felt I could provide a good choice to the voters.” Blankley was asked a series of questions so Liberty Press readers could meet the new District 1 Representative and get a better understanding of him and his positions: What made you a good candidate? I come to the position as a working parent, well-connected to the younger generations of parents and staff. How has being a new father changed your perspective on schools in the community? When looking for pre-K programs, I realized just how divided our community’s kids become, even at age three. I learned how luck plays so much more into a person’s lot in life than I ever knew before parenthood. You’ve mentioned “improved transparency throughout the school board process” on your application as one of your goals. Explain. Community members need to have the opportunity to have their concerns heard by

National Election News Oklahoma state Senate seat flips from red to blue Democratic National Committee Chair (DNC) Tom Perez released the following statement after Oklahoma’s special elections: “Congratulations to Allison Ikley-Freeman on her victory in her state Senate race, which flipped one more Republicanheld seat from red to blue, a district that Trump carried just last year. At 26, Ikley-Freeman becomes the third openly gay person to be elected to the Oklahoma legislature.” Palm Springs City Council now 100% LGBTQ Palm Springs City Council Candidate Lisa Middleton will become the first out transgender person elected to a non-judicial office in California with her commanding first place win. Additionally, Christy Holstege will become another LGBTQ voice on the Palm Springs City Council as the winner of the second open seat. Wi t h t h e e l e c t i o n o f Middleton and Holstege, the city of Palm Springs will the board, whether that be by submitted written comments or oral comments at the board table. Board members should explain why they voted on budget and policy decisions, where legal and ethical concerns allow. How would you like to redirect the current budget? I would work to reduce paid consultants and work on growing more internal training competencies within our own district.

Ben Blankley, spouse Liz Anderson, and son Antonio. Photo by Tony Applegate.

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

You refer to yourself as a “ l a b o r- l e a d e r ” a n d a n “activist.” What does that look like to you? I plan on being a visible, vocal advocate for the marginalized people in our community. This may include being part of public protests, letter writing campaigns, and individual

now be represented by a city council that is 100% LGBTQ. Trans candidate wins seat from "bathroom bill" author in Virginia In celebration of a number of impressive wins by LGBTQ candidates, DNC CEO Jess O’Connell and DNC LGBT Caucus Chair Earl Fowlkes released this statement: “ Tu e s d a y n i g h t w a s a landmark moment in LGBTQ history. Democrats from our community, including Jenny Durkan, who made history as the first openly lesbian mayor of Seattle, claimed decisive wins all over the country. “What made the night truly exceptional, however, was the triumph of a number of openly transgender candidates. In Virginia, first-time candidate Danica Roem dominated in a race against her proudly transphobic opponent, who even authored the anti-trans ‘bathroom bill’ in the Virginia House of Delegates. In Minneapolis, Andrea Jenkins became the first openly trans person to be elected to the city council of a major U.S. city.” l

discussions with other elected officials. What is your role in the LGBTQIA community? My educational experience in middle school was fraught with rampant, violent bullying towards myself and my friends. I emerged from that into adulthood as a fierce ally for the marginalized. I try to learn more about every person I meet. I firmly believe we achieve strength through diversity. How do you hope to use that role with your position on the school board? Wichita Public Schools is notable that its current policy of non-discrimination lags behind what the actual practice is. Currently, neither orientation continued on page 19

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL. DECEMBER 2017 | LIBERTY PRESS | Page 13

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PAGE 14 | LIBERTY PRESS |DECEMBER 2017

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

Author of George Speaks at WSU

By Grayson Barnes W I C H I TA - A l e x G i n o , the author of George, is a diminutive, elfin character. They laughed and gesticulated animatedly, perched atop a very high stool during their reading and discussion of their book at Wichita State University’s CAC theatre on Nov. 3. Gino was brought to WSU by the Office of Diversity and Inclusion and Greater Wichita chapter of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network). GLSEN works with the public schools and has been the center of a recent controversy involving getting copies of G e o rg e p l a c e d i n s c h o o l libraries. The issue is that George is about a transgender girl. To the rest of the world, she appears as George, but Melissa knows who she really is. Through the vehicle of a school play about Charlotte’s Webb, Melissa begins to reveal herself to the world. While she meets bullying and other types of opposition, she is, more significantly, welcomed by supportive friends, family, and school administrators. George, a 2015 Scholastic publication, has won the Stonewall Book Award, the Lambda Literary Award, the E.B. White Honor, and is a nominee for this year’s William Allen White Children’s Book Award. However, George was not included in a set of William Allen White master list titles provided to every Wichita public elementary school. Gail Becker,

a library supervisor for Wichita Public Schools, decided the book included references that are not appropriate for young children. In response Gino donated more than 50 copies of the book. GLSEN is currently distributing them. It is interesting to note that also on the William Allen White Award list are books on the KKK, slavery, government i n c o m p e t e n c e , w a r, l i f e affecting illness, and dyslexia. Gino says that the debate surrounding George is nothing new to them. In another situation at a school near Chicago, a student wanted to do her book report on George. She was told she wasn’t allowed because other students would then hear about the book. The girl’s mother called Gino to ask how she could support her daughter. Gino, who was going to visit the area soon, invited the two out for ice cream. During this social call, Gino (with permission) tweeted about their outing. This was picked up by John Green, who, according to Gino, “is the biggest name in Young Adult Literature.” Green then retweeted it. The inspiration for George was Gino’s own experience. They did not know they were genderqueer until they heard the word at the age of 19, but it got them to thinking what it might have been like to have had positive representations of transgender or genderqueer people when they were younger. George is the result of Gino’s desire to tell the “stories we know and stories we seek.” While the adults and administrators seem to be grumbling about George, Gino says that the students they have visited and read for have been overwhelmingly receptive. “Kids don’t have a problem until they learn to,” they said, with a joyously sylphlike wave of their hand. “Besides, discomfort is a space for conversation. There IS ROOM for uncomfortable books in a library.” For more information on Alex Gino and their first book, George, visit www.alexgino. com. l

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WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

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WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL. DECEMBER 2017 | LIBERTY PRESS | Page 17

Becoming a 60-yearold Transgender Activist

t wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m not supposed to be here. I am in the final month of my 60th journey around the sun. This wasn’t part of the script. It is not a common thought in the minds of many people who are transgender in this country - the idea of becoming an out, transgender sexagenarian would have been relegated to categories of fantasy or delusion - but is now approaching reality. Whatever shall I do? I will say I have done a little research about what additional restaurants offer a 60+ discount. Applebee’s, Ben & Jerry’s, Village Inn, and Subway are on the list. Waffle House (Mondays only) is too. Lots of places start

an activist. I simply knew I could not be silent in the face of oppression and marginalization. Then one day someone referred to me as an activist, and I realized it was true. I don’t plan on slowing down anytime soon. I have provided or participated in more than 50 presentations in 2017. This includes Transgender Faith Tour presentations in Chicago, IL; Ft. Worth, TX; Evansville, IN; Kearney, NE; Mankato, MN; and Cedar Falls, IA. That said, my activism is changing, and I am trying to learn to find, as I have always tried to do, the places where my activism is most effective. I have identified learning to support and mentor (as well as learn from) these emerging leaders in the TGNC movement,

“I did not set out to become an activist. I simply knew I could not be silent in the face of oppression and marginalization.” their senior discounts at 55. If I want a Boston Market discount, I’ll need to hang in there for another half-decade. Chick-Fil-A offers a free senior drink, not including coffee (just thought I’d throw that in there). As an activist who found her activism later in life, I know there are many younger activists who have been doing this longer than I have. I also know when I started doing activism in Kansas, there were few transgender footsteps for me to follow. Today, there are many trans and gender non-conforming (TGNC) activists across the state. Their messages are changing hearts and minds wherever they raise their voices. It does my heart good to see this in ever-increasing numbers. I did not set out to become

as one of those places where I would like to focus more. The end of legalized discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression will happen more quickly as we bridge the decades of our lifetimes, which do create barriers to our community’s success. My work as a mental health clinician at Valeo Behavioral Health Care in Topeka is both amazingly rewarding and incredibly exhausting, and I do not have the same energy I used to have. Becoming able to provide therapy for transgender and gender non-conforming clients is far beyond anything I would have ever dreamed for. As I begin to experience the realities of being a 60-yearcontinued on page 20

PAGE 18 | LIBERTY PRESS |DECEMBER 2017

Minor

Details By Bob Minor

Men Behaving Badly and those Nine Layers of "Getting Laid"

don’t know a woman who couldn’t tell a personal story of being the recipient of aggressive male sexual conduct: whether rape, molestation, child sexual abuse, sexual harassment or intimidation, or sexual powerbroking. I also know that women have generally been taught that they should somehow put up

not to individually act upon it. Meanwhile our society doesn’t want to discuss, admit, or believe our boys experience it, especially where it needs discussion – in our schools. Any attempts are demeaned by labeling them radical, feminist, extremist, or something else. Frankly, though, by puberty

“Frankly, though, by puberty boys are learning what it means to be a real man, which includes how men 'get laid.'” with this because it’s just a part of some version of “boys will be boys.” Now one example after another of such conduct at high levels is daily news. And much is being said to analyze the issues in terms of power dynamics right along with attempts to somehow justify, dismiss, or minimize these actions. But none of this has to do with something inherent in males as human beings. Our boys are not born with some impulse to treat anyone this way. These actions spring from what is still mainstream male conditioning about sex and the male sex drive, conditioning that reaches its peak in junior and senior high school. And what that conditioning attempts to instill in boys is solidly behind the scenes in their lives at best – boys know it even if they choose

boys are learning what it means to be a real man, which includes how men “get laid.” So, it’s time to revisit the “Nine Layers of Getting Laid” that I fully discussed in Scared Straight, layers that are instilled through pressure - peer and otherwise – that’s based in fear of what not accepting them does or does not mean for a man’s “manhood,” machismo, straightidentification, and full admission in the men’s club. The image of the “real manly man” found in media and elsewhere, and justified by some who just accept it, says that getting laid is: ( 1 ) C o m p u l s i v e . T h e r e ’s something uncontrollable, overwhelming, or inevitable about male sexuality. Sexual activity should come naturally to men and men are in some way

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obsessed with it. Theories why are popular. (2) Objectifying. It has to do with bodies and body parts. It feeds on all the stereotypes of what makes an object physically attractive and promotes the stuff that can be sold to women to make them look like Miss America walking down a runway in her swimsuit. (3) Impersonal. When it’s first installed it not only doesn’t have to do with the person who is the sexual object, but actually is best if it’s not with a friend. Even sex with a committed partner later might be accompanied by thoughts of something other than what’s going on in that bed. And the more the object is impersonalized, the easier it is to ignore any consequences for the object of the sexual act including any violence involved. (4) Manipulative and Coercive. Real men, the conditioning says, can manipulate any object into sex with them. And if the object objects, it shames the man as not manly enough or means the object needs more manipulation. “No” doesn’t mean “No” but “manipulate me more.” One’s manhood, after all, is on the line here. (5) An Activity. It’s not a process of being with someone but a thing you do to or with someone. It’s a separate activity from all else in life that has a beginning and an end. It is not the foreplay or any after-glow. (6) Goal-Oriented. Cuddling isn’t sex; making out isn’t. Real male sex has a goal – the big O, and it’s his. Even in this enlightened 21st century, this lingers on as younger women tell me. (7) Self-Centered. It’s supposed to take place on his agenda. There are words men have for women who are too aggressive and they’re not “Self-Assured” or “Leadership Material.” (8) Manly. Sex proves you’re a man and makes you feel like a man. In a world where men are not conditioned to feel much other than anger and triumph over others, this is the place a man can feel. It might last only

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

a few seconds, and won’t be convincing in any lasting way, but that only means more sex is necessary or that the sexual object is at fault for not making him feel manly enough. So, better look elsewhere. (9) With a Woman. Society has instilled this layer in men of all sexual orientations for centuries and it has therefore put down as not really a man anyone who would prefer otherwise. None of this is the male sex drive or heterosexual sexuality. These are layers of distress installed for a lifetime through fear of what will happen to someone who doesn’t go along. They are patterned definitions of sex for someone of any orientation who’s been scared into a straight role that’s usually enforced by putting down anyone who doesn’t appear to go along with it all. The demeaning of LGBTQ people has made it possible to use the fear of being thought of as queer to enforce gender roles across the board, and the boy in high school who comes out against this will at least be asked: “Don’t you like girls.” It would be nice to believe that this conditioning is confined to older generations, that our boys today don’t get this from society around them. After all, so much has happened in the last decades to empower women and educate men. I want to believe that, but when I present this list to college students, these 18-21 year olds (especially women) say it hasn’t changed and then add their own stories. Conditioning is learned behavior, and what is learned can be unlearned. There’s no reason to give up. Both our boys and girls need us to give words to gender-role conditioning around sex and to see it for what it is. Then we’ll all need to imagine what sexual relations would be without these nine layers. l Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human; and writes a regular column on relationships for 50PlusPrime.com Contact him at www. FairnessProject.org.

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL. DECEMBER 2017 | LIBERTY PRESS | Page 19 Rosemary continued from page 11 to hit all the LGBTQ events

as well. Once the festival run is complete, we plan to host another screening in Wichita for those who were unable to attend the Tallgrass Film Festival. l

Tallgrass Film Festival, on Oct. 19 at Roxy’s Downtown in Wichita. LP: What has the feedback been so far? SW: The feedback during the festival was phenomenal. The critique I heard from everyone I talked to was that “it was a film like they have never seen before.” Which was exactly what I was going for. Something visually and emotionally engaging that left the audience pondering what they had just experienced. LP: What was the Tallgrass Film Festival experience like? SW: The Tallgrass Film Festival

Blankley continued from page 12

is a rare festival in the fact the community supports it so strongly. Audience members flood the theaters to watch these independent films when they could easily stay at home and watch Netflix. Those are the experiences that will mean the most. I have screened at many festivals that the only audience are the filmmakers. To produce a movie that was filmed entirely local, cast with local talent and using the equipment and facilities of local filmmakers, to

see the turnout of local viewers was fantastic. That’s why we make these movies, to get viewed - and there is nothing more special than to watch your film in a packed theater. LP: Are there other upcoming screenings or festivals planned for the film? SW: We are continuing our effort of submitting Rosemary and Juliet to other film festivals across the country. Some large, mostly small festivals and trying

repare for a burst of crazy Sagittarian energy this December as the Sun, Venus Mercury and Saturn all take a dip in that sign. We may feel unfettered, free and even a bit mouthy. Say it as you see it, but be prepared for the fallout.

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 20) You may feel especially expansive now. If so, find ways to reach out to far-flung friends, distant relatives and interesting, exotic folks. You never know where life will lead you now, gay Ram so be prepared for anything filled with all of the possibilities. Expand your mind with classes or travel and plot your eventual world takeover. Heh. heh. TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21) Queer Bulls are usually very sexy, but now you have enough personal oil to bottle and sell it. Make good use of this sexy time to strengthen certain relationships or seek new ones. You also need to find ways to keep your energies high. Rest, relaxation and a good diet will help to recharge you from all of those active late nights. Keep melting the winter snow! GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) Find that special someone with whom to share your New Year’s celebration. Pink Twins who are currently in a relationship can find new and festive ways to make it even better. Those who are on the prowl will discover new hot spots to find their soulmate. When in doubt, attend as many holiday parties as you can. You never know who will be standing under the mistletoe. CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23) Office antics may take up more of your attention now, gay Crab. But that is not a bad thing. In fact you will not only get a few things off your desk, you may strike up an acquaintance with a co-worker who you initially overlooked. This person could figure prominently in your life in a surprising way through the holiday season. Ho, ho, ho.

nor identity are considered protected categories; however, in practice these categories have been protected. One of my goals is to update that policy to match what we do in our schools today. I would also like to review the growth and human development curriculum, as it is currently an opt-in, abstinencefocused curriculum that may not include sufficient material for all students. Blankley’s new position on the board is as a volunteer, so he plans to maintain his focus there along with his engineering career for now with no future plans on running for further offices. “I understand the expectations of my term in office will be very high, and I hope the public gives me a chance to learn what it’s like to be a good public office holder,” he said. l

LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - DEC. 22) Your social life could become a rapidly You are in the center of all of the attention increasing swirl now, proud Lion. now, gay Archer. How does it feel to have Everyone wants you at their event to every one of your moves amplified and spice things up. Not a bad thing . . . but examined? Sometimes fun and sometimes that means you will have to prioritize annoying. So be aware of your public face all of the wonderful and tantalizing invitations you and take action slowly and carefully. You can make a big receive, seemingly all at once! Can you gracefully move with the help of some very influential people. Press dance at more than two parties with only one tush? I and impress. Then relax! doubt it, but you can certainly try! CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20) VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) With so much going on behind the scenes, If you decide to spruce up your nest, the pink Caps can be forgiven for being a little timing could be perfect to do it with extra distracted. But anything brewing in the flair and less expense. That is because background will ultimately be great for you are able to get a few helping hands to you in 2018. Ply your contacts, get the gist paint and move some of the furniture around. But all of the conversations and make your best moves while you domestic work and no play makes queer Virgo a little are in the know. You rise to the highest heights. Say hello Scroogie. Remember to reward all the elves with some to the tiny reindeer while you are up there. festive diversions. Spiked eggnog, anyone?? AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 19) LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) Aqueerians become the honey to the Craft your personal message carefully friendly bees now. Your social life ramps now, proud Libra. You can be very up and becomes a beehive of activity. diplomatic and eloquent and can use Plan your schedule with an eye towards getting into the this time to convince others to follow you and support right groups. You need to focus on your personal plans your dreams. So far so good. But there is a chance you for the future so you need to place yourself in the right can get too free with your unfiltered thoughts. Some circles. But keep yourself open to hanging out with a things you say could let a well-kept secret out. But few squares too. maybe that is the impact you want to have? PISCES (FEB. 20 - MAR. 20) SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22) What is it that you need to achieve now, Gay Scorps should be extra careful with Guppie? You have been diligently working their budgets now as the urge to spend on your career path and will be making on holiday trinkets and guests becomes some impressive inroads during the holiday too powerful to resist. Parties beckon season. Keep focused on the prize, but also take time out and the fun is there to be enjoyed to the to celebrate. Who knows which senior executive will be fullest. Whoo hoo! Is there a way to enjoy all of the hanging out at the office holiday party? You can make festivities without spending a fortune? Maybe Santa your mark. But not with a spilled drink! can float you until the next payday . . .

(c) 2017 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything new age. Her astrology book HerScopes is the best in sun sign astrology. Order now at tinyurl.com/herscopes.

PAGE 20 | LIBERTY PRESS |DECEMBER 2017

Leather Life By Nolin Christensen aka Master C

Editor’s note: This column may contain content that is offensive to some people.

Red Flags

h i s m o n t h ’s p o s t i s something that every person needs to read. Today’s topic is something that affects everyone everywhere. I want to address red flags and I’m not talking about flagging red! I’m talking about flags or

warning signs that come up that should make you think something’s wrong here or I shouldn’t be doing this. This was brought to mind with all the sexual allegations that are going on in the community and nationwide. And then an article I read last month about a group called Nexium. One of the first and biggest red flags is the word “secret.” Whenever you’re dealing with an individual and they’re saying, “Oh you need to keep quiet about this and don’t tell anybody.” Or, “This is our little secret and no one needs to know.” When the “secret flag” comes up, you need to run! Because this means you’ve got someone who is either a manipulator or someone who’s taking advantage of you and they don’t want others to know. This is very common with sexual predators. They don’t want anyone knowing because they know what they are doing is wrong and they don’t want to

get caught. Another red flag is, “Oh if you do this then I’ll do this.” Or, “If you do this I’ll get or give you this.” This is especially true when it comes to sexual favors. When someone puts stipulations on something, there’s a problem. They are manipulating you. They only give you what you want in order to get what they want. This type of behavior just continues to get worse and worse. In the Leather community we have a tradition of earning Leathers. There should never be a stipulation that if you do this then you’ll get your item or your piece of leather. This also applies to any type of play. There should never be something that has a connection like that to it. It should be because the person deserves it. The things I read in the Nexium article were: “This is a secret society, we don’t tell anybody about it.” Or, “We keep very quiet about it so we don’t let anybody know.” Or, “You have earned it to become part of the ‘elite’ group.” When this happens, it’s a problem because the leaders are manipulating people. Religious cults fall prey to this. Another red flag is when the person restricts you from family and friends. When they tell you that you can’t see or talk to family and/or your friends, Mott continued from page 17

old, transgender human being, it is increasingly impossible to ignore the struggles and obstacles of LGBT senior status. It is also increasingly impossible to live with the diseased targeting of marginalized Americans by the current administration. All of us, from youth to seniors, must unite, stand up, speak out, and refuse to accept this dehumanization of our lives and identities. If it all comes out in the wash, what comes out is this: we are making progress, we are going to win, and we will never stop until we achieve full legal recognition of our right to define our own identities. We have already started discussions within Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project about creating

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

you need to look at WHY they are requiring this? If you’re not allowed to tell your friends and family about something that you’re doing because the person you are involved with doesn’t want you too, you need to further examine what is going on. Red flags can happen in any type of relationship: business, personal, sexual or friends. The point is to be able to recognize them or listen to your close family and friends when they point these out. Too often we are so wrapped up in what is happening that we don’t see clearly. Manipulators and predators are good about slowly creeping in. But know this; there is never a situation you can’t get out of. There are many professionals who help individuals who have found themselves in these situations. Don’t hesitate to seek them out. Don’t let your pride stand in the way of getting help. We all make mistakes, but the biggest is when we don’t fix the mistake once we recognize it. If you find yourself in one of the above situations, please contact me. We’ll find the help you need to get back on track. I can be reached at msterc69@ gmail.com. l Master C is the current president of WOOLF, the local leather club. Contact him via www.woolfks.com or at MsterC69@gmail.com/

strategies for building leadership to ensure KSTEP will continue to grow into the future, and continue to make a difference in the lives of TGNC Kansans. Expect an increased focus on helping to build this leadership throughout Kansas, and throughout the United States. Anyone who is interested in learning more about this is encouraged to inquire at info@ kstep.org. As for me, I’m not going anywhere. Just getting ready to start my 61st trip around the sun. We’ve got work to do. I’m glad there are so many of us who are doing it. l Stephanie Mott is a transgender woman from Topeka. She is the executive director of the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project, and a commissioner on the City of Topeka Human Relations Commission. Reach her at stephanieequality@yahoo.com.

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PAGE 22 | LIBERTY PRESS |DECEMBER 2017

WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

Barnes wins national award for essay about being transgender

By Beth Wasson

Barnes

WICHITA - Grayson Barnes is on a journey. His thoughts on that journey, going from female to transgender male, recently won first place in the Personal Essay category of the North American Mature Publishers A s s o c i a t i o n ( N A M PA ) competition. NAMPA reviews stories written and published in newspapers and magazines catering to people 55 and older. The winning essay appeared in

The Active Age, February 2017 issue, a magazine for Kansas seniors in Sedgwick, Butler, and Harvey counties. Faculty from the University of Missouri School of Journalism, Columbia judged the 235 entries submitted from 18 publications. The judges had this to say about Barnes’ essay: “Grayson Barnes describes with candor and heartfelt emotion his belatedly taking charge of his life as a transgender man. A testosterone shot injects emotional and mental changes along with the physical ones.” The award came as a complete surprise to Barnes, who didn’t even know about NAMPA. His winning article is actually a follow-up to a story he wrote last year for The Active Age. A friend encouraged him to write about his transition and the magazine published his first essay last year. B u t l e t ’s b e g i n a t t h e beginning. Grayson was born Helen Barnes 58 years ago in Pennsylvania. Even as a young girl, Barnes knew his gender wasn’t in sync with his body.

But it wasn’t until he was an adult, living in Wichita, that he decided to take the steps to live as a man. At first, those steps were changing the clothes he wore and the style of his hair. Being in his 50’s Grayson hesitated on taking testosterone shots because of the fear of being more aggressive. Yet, he feels the shots actually calmed him and he is certainly more comfortable in his own skin now. He chronicled the first part of his transition in the article last year. The latest article he wrote once he began the shots. Barnes is no stranger to w r i t i n g . H e ’s a r e g u l a r contributor to Liberty Press writing reviews of restaurants and the arts and he also loves interviewing people. Currently, Barnes teaches at Butler Community College in Andover. When Barnes visited family back home during the summer he was thankful for the unconditional support he received. Even his very conservative retired Air Force father accepted the change.

Although there were many questions to answer, Barnes says his “hillbilly family from the Appalachians Mountains” did their best to understand and use the proper pronouns. Barnes admitted to using the wrong pronoun occasionally with himself, saying when he gets frustrated or mad at himself he sometimes says, “Woman, what were you thinking?” Being a transgender male gives Barnes an interesting perspective. He understands that men have aggressive tendencies, but he also knows acting out is controllable and he never will understand what leads a man to sexually assault a woman. Another thing that amazes him is how people listen to him more. As a woman, he felt his ideas were often dismissed quickly, but as a man, people stop and hear what he has to say. One of the most enjoyable things about being a man for Barnes is he gets to shave. “I always wanted to shave and was always fascinated by beards,” he said. He even makes his own shaving cream. l

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1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY NEW YEARS EVE BASH SUNDAY, DEC 31ST 9PM

Join us for the best New Years Eve party in Wichita and help us celebrate our one year anniversary. Once the clock strikes midnight we will raise our glasses and cheer as we bring in a wonderful new year!

UPCOMING EVENTS EVERY TUESDAY, 9PM

KARAOKE NIGHT With DJ Bowtie! No cover, 21+

BUSINESS HOURS SUNDAY, DECEMBER 10TH, TBD

MISS MERRY CHRISTMAS PAGEANT Hosted by Miss Brown Sugar

MONDAY – THURSDAY

6PM – 2AM

6PM to 9PM – Happy Hour All drinks 1/2 price!

EVERY WEDNESDAY & SUNDAY

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15TH, 7PM

FRIDAY

All drinks 1/2 price! (except during events) No cover, 21+

Benefit for K-9 Karma Animal Advocates, Inc. | Hosted by Rhonda Ven De Tramp | 21+

5PM to 8PM – Happy Hour All drinks 1/2 price!

1/2 PRICED DRINKS

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 1ST, 10PM

POSITIVE DIRECTION AFTER PARTY

BITCHY BINGO

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 31ST, 9PM

1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY & NEW YEARS EVE

SATURDAY & SUNDAY

2PM – 2AM

With DJ KareTaker | No cover | 21+

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5PM – 2AM

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235 N. Mosley, Wichita KS 316-201-4670