Liberty Press Nov 2013

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LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

NOVEMBER 2013


NOVEMBER 2013

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

TI CK ET S O N SA LE N O W !

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starring the season 10 finalists

SUNDAY•NOVEMBER 10•7PM Tickets: stage1tickets.com or 316-927-3999 Hartman Arena Box Office and select CD Tradepost locations Due to the physical nature of the performances not all advertised dancers may be appearing. ©19 Entertainment Ltd & dick clark productions, inc., Reg.U.S. Pat & TM Off.


CISmagnet.eps 1 10/18/2011 2:23:51 PM

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LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

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Find Liberty Press here! Dodge City

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Aimee’s Coffeehouse, Bourgeois Pig, Community Mercantile, Douglas County AIDS Project, Dusty Bookshelf, Ecumenical Christian Ministries, Einstein Bros. Bagel, Fuzzy’s Taco Shop, Henry’s, Java Break,

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Adult Superstore, After Dark South, The Anchor, Barnes

& Noble, Bungalow 26, The Center, Circle Cinema, City Arts, College Hill United Methodist Church, Crazy J’s Furniture & Sleep Shop, The Donut Whole, Fetish Lingerie, Fisch Haus, First Metropolitan Community Church, First Unitarian Universalist Church, Harris & Co. Frame Shop, Hunter Health Clinic, J’s Lounge, Jim Starkey Music Center, A Journey in the Light, Junk in the Trunk, Kirby’s, KU Internal Medicine - Midtown, Light & Sound Spa, Mead’s Corner, Moe’s Sub Shop, The Monarch, Our Fantasy Complex, Patricia’s, Pine Valley Christian Church, Planet Hair, Planned Parenthood, Positive Directions, Rain Café & Lounge, Side Street RetroLounge, Spice Merchant, The Store, Twist Yarn Shop, Vagabond Coffeeshop, Vegas Video, Watermark Books, Wichita Community Theatre, Wichita Public Library downtown branch, WSU - That Gay Group meetings, WSU - Women’s Studies office, Xcitement Video

Would you like to see your business or organization on this list? It’s free! Contact Kristi at editor@libertypress.net to arrange for delivery of complimentary copies.


NOVEMBER 2013

Liberty Press

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

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On the Cover:

Volume 20, No. 3 • Editor: Kristi Parker • Contributors: Paul Berge, Dave Brousseau, Nolin Christensen, Parker Daniel, Greg Fox, Travis Hooper, Charlene Lichtenstein, Mama, Audrey McQueen, Dr. Robert N. Minor, Stephanie Mott, Ben Rivers • Staff Reporters: Helen Barnes, Brian Hansen, Ciara Reid • Contributing Photographers: Darrin Hackney Photography, Deb Dobbs, Chad Parker • Cover Design: Troy Dilport • Graphic Designer: Troy Dilport • Webmaster: Ren Autrey • Publisher: The Liberty Press, LLC

Peterson Toscano talks to Liberty Press about his return trip to Kansas, his husband's delicious accent and Wichita's amazing food. Page 26

National Advertising Representatives: Rivendell Media (212) 242-96863 Subscriptions are $18/year

The “Liberty Press” and its contents may not be reproduced in any manner, either in whole or in part, without the express written consent of the publisher. All rights reserved. Unsolicited material may not necessarily be acknowledged or returned, is assumed intended for publication unless otherwise stated, and becomes the sole property of the Liberty Press. Letters to the editor and bylined columns reflect the views and opinions of the authors only and are not necessarily those of the Liberty Press, LLC or its staff. The Liberty Press reserves the right to refuse or restrict advertisements at the editor’s discretion. Advertisers and agencies assume liability for claims arising from the content of their ads. Publication of the name, photograph or likeness of any persons, organization or business in articles or advertisements in the Liberty Press in no way indicates or reflects their sexual orientation. First copy free, additional copies may be obtained for a nominal fee from the publisher.

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CONTENTS K-STATE STUDENT'S PLAY aims to educate on safe 'gay sex'................... 11 WICHITA PRIDE BRINGS BACK award ceremony....................................13 THE WICHITA BEARS well represented at GALA........................................13 BOTH ARTAID EVENTS successful; Patton calls it quits.............................14 LIKEME LIGHTHOUSE ANNUAL FUNDRAISER a night of Comedy for a Cause.....................................................................................................16 THE SUICIDE EPIDEMIC Part III - A Survivor's Story..................................17 WICHITA STATE UNIVERSITY OPERA PROGRAM gets world-class visiting artist..............................................................................................25 AMERICAN NOSTALGIA PLUS SHAKESPEARE equals a hilarious romp.....34

Regulars OP/ED Letters, editorial cartoon, poll results, Comments from the Web............................................................................................... 8-9 GUEST EDITORIAL Some Normative Parallels of Monogamy and Pornography......................................................................................8 BOOKENDS American Savage and Just Between Us............................18 TRANS-FORMATIVE LGBT: What Does It Really Mean?.........................20 AUDREY ASKS Jasmine Nicole......................................................................22 MINOR DETAILS Will Marriage Equality Matter to the Community?.......24 LEATHER LIFE Daddy/boy Relationships...............................................28

The Liberty Press distributes 3,500 copies a month in cities throughout Kansas, including Dodge City, Lawrence, Topeka, Wichita, Manhattan, Junction City, Hutchinson, El Dorado, Hays, Kansas City, Pittsburg and Salina.

IN EVERY ISSUE DISTRIBUTION LIST..................... 4 POINTS OF INTEREST................ 10 MAMA KNOWS BEST.................. 12 POLL QUESTION........................ 12 COMICS....................................... 29 AROUND KANSAS...................... 32 CLASSIFIEDS.............................. 33 OUT IN THE STARS.................... 33

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OP/ED

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

GUEST EDITORIAL

A Monthly Collection of Opinions and Editorials.

The opinions represented here do not necessarily represent the opinions of the Liberty Press. We reserve the right to edit and cut submissions for space and grammatical content. We want to hear from you! Visit www.libertypress.net to answer our Readers Poll or the question of the month. Send your letters and feedback to editor@libertypress.net.

Progress at Kansas universities good to see Dear editor: I always find interesting information in each issue of Liberty Press, as it covers news even outside of your area. I like Bob Minor’s thoughts and your local LGBT film festival, one of many around the country (Tallgrass Film Festival, Oct. 16-20).

NOVEMBER 2013

It seems the universities in the Kansas area are very active in GLBT issues. I had not seen info elsewhere on the coming (Oct. 18-19) Third Annual LGBT Leadership Conference, to be held at Kansas State in Manhattan. I think the University of Kansas also has LGBT active groups/resources. I had not heard of the keynote speaker, Dr. Brian Gilley, of Indiana University (on Two Spirit Identities). It is very strange to hear of this sign of progress, as I sure didn’t think of the possibility of such events when I was a soldier (First Division) stationed at Ft. Riley, and visited both campuses, in 1955-56. Billy Glover

Some Normative Parallels of Monogamy and Pornography

M

ost people think monogamy is as hallowed as pornography is profane, but the differences aren’t nearly as substantial as all that. Indeed, monogamy and pornography serve the same normative function, which is to restrict human relationships to specific gendered scripts. One need only consider how both standardize desire to see how such a comparison is useful. With monogamy, on the one hand, romantic love is presumed the highest form of intimacy in human relationships. Family and friends are to be relegated to the sidelines, and relationships that don’t fit in with this youcomplete-me script, ménages à trois or friends with benefits, for example, are deemed deficient, lacking in depth and commitment.

By Parker Daniel porn actors are clearly masculine there’s always this discourse of the bottom being controlled by the top, which explains why penetration is so often conflated with feminization and emasculation. And, of course, the idea that real men never lose control is highly profitable. Desire is certainly a performance, and while it can be fun to play up the more theatrical aspects in role-play situations, one becomes bored

"[A]n unwillingness to take turns ... may just be an unwillingness to swallow one's pride and empathize with another."

Online Readers Poll

Results! Do you like the changes to ArtAID 2013? Some of them 67%

Yes 33%

Yet who are we to say what is in another person’s heart? The idea that two people should complement or complete one another has clear roots in the rigid binaries of man/woman and active/passive, in accord with the idea that a proper family is one procreated by man and woman, but more broadly with the idea that desire is necessarily an objectification, a fixation on a love-object. I would argue that love and desire should instead be about empathy, about wanting to share one’s self with another or others. Anyway, the point is that there is nothing ‘natural’ or commonsensical about this way of thinking, that it is all arbitrary. With pornography, on the other hand, comes instructions, both direct and indirect, for how to desire, what to desire, and how to perform desire. With gay pornography, for example, ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ categories reinforce rigid masculine and feminine sex roles. And even when both

quickly, especially when one form of desire, desirable object, or sexual technique is privileged over another. In other words, nothing is so unsexy as predictability; when the seams show, when sex stops being spontaneous, when one can clearly see how desire is scripted, when an attachment to externals hinders one’s ability to see what is internal, it takes much of the thrill away. This comparison is not meant as an argument against monogamy or against pornography. Surely, both are gratifying to some. Yet there is something patently heteronormative about how these seeming antithetical spheres of influence depend on the same notion that desire should be scripted on the basis of gender. Elaborating on the point of gendered scripts, I don’t want to be butch anymore than I want to be femme, or a top anymore than


NOVEMBER 2013

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

a bottom, because, at the risk of sounding even more narcissistic than I already am, I’m too sophisticated to fit neatly into one gender category, even if other people think differently. More importantly, an unwillingness to take turns–to switch roles in a relationship or other liaison at least occasionally–may just be an unwillingness to swallow one’s pride and empathize with another. Empathy requires one to fully acknowledge the humanity of another, to see another clearly on his or her own terms. The fixation we seem to have on legitimating rather than liberating ourselves hinders

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our progress. We can talk ad nauseam about how marriage equality will be a step in the right direction, but are slow to interrogate the attitudes that had created our inequities. It would seem that, after years of being ostracized for not fitting into the gender roles of the straight world, gay men, for the most part, would rather create their own rigid scripts to follow and pick each other apart than unite and truly extricate themselves f r o m g e n d e r c o n f o r m i t y. Perhaps, it’s high time for us to open ourselves up for new desires. l

Comments from the Web “I am so glad you are still around.” --Wichita, KS “Keep up the great work!”

--Topeka, KS

“Thank you for keeping our community informed and connected in Kansas - not an easy job! Keep up the great work!” --Marion County, KS

Heart of America Men’s Chorus u p c o mi ng h o l i d a y e ve n ts • details at facebook/HOAM C or hoam c.o r g

November 23 December 7&8 Deck The Halls: Santa's On His Way Designer Decor for Your Holidays our beneficiary is MCC’s Food Pantry

featuring food • beverages and a silent auction of holiday decor

Innes Station Lobby 701 East First Street 7 - 10 p m for tickets and more info call 316.708.4837

December 20 find us singing in the gardens at

Botanica’s Illuminations

Save the Dates


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Take a chance on ABBA Mania at The Orpheum Theatre WICHITA – The Orpheum has the world’s number one touring ABBA tribute, ABBA Mania, coming to the historic theatre on Nov. 18. ABBA Mania formed in 1999 and

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

NOVEMBER 2013

the show has been selling out theatres and concert halls internationally ever since. This show has toured the world in its quest to bring the music of the Swedish supergroup to their millions of fans, old and new. Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny and Anni-Frid, collectively known as ABBA, dominated the charts for nearly ten years and enjoyed nine UK number 1 hits. Sadly, in the early 80s, they decided to go their separate ways. ABBA Mania brings two hours of uplifting, dance-inducing and sometimes heart-breaking songs, fully live with fantastic staging, lighting and effects. The show recreates ABBA’s sound not only perfectly, but respectfully too. Hits include Dancing Queen, Waterloo,

Mamma Mia, The Winner Takes it All, Take A Chance On Me and more. Tickets start at $25 and can be purchased online at selectaseat.com, by phone at 855.755.7328, at Dillon’s Superstores and Plant Employee Clubs.

WSU Music Theater offers scholarships for new students WICHITA - Graduating high school seniors and college transfer students will have the chance to audition for Wichita State University Music Theater scholarships from 10am-noon Saturday, Nov. 9, at the Heskett dance studio. Scholarships will be for the fall 2014-15 semester. Auditions for the scholarships will consist of a dance combination followed by a performance of two contrasting musical theater songs and a short, memorized monologue. Applicants are asked to bring a picture and resume as well. After a general meeting to fill out audition forms, WSU faculty will teach the students a short dance combination to perform. The dance portion of the audition will last 30-45 minutes. Students will have time to change and present their songs and monologues individually by appointment. Songs and monologues must be memorized, and students are required to bring their own sheet music in the correct key. An accompanist will be provided; recordings are not permitted. Those auditioning will be invited to attend a performance of Guys and Dolls, directed by Wayne Bryan of Music Theatre of Wichita, at 7:30pm Friday, Nov. 8, or Saturday, Nov. 9, in Wilner Auditorium. For more information, contact Linda Starkey at linda.starkey@wichita.edu.

PFLAG returns to Wichita WICHITA - Brian Sutton is the president of a new PFLAG chapter starting in Wichita. PFLAG stands for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. It is a national support, education and advocacy organization with 200,000 members and local affiliates in more than 500 communities across the U.S. and abroad. There have been PFLAG chapters in Wichita since the ‘80s but an active chapter hasn’t been present for several years. The new group is planning to meet the second Thursday of each month at College Hill United Methodist Church from 6:30-8pm. According to Sutton, meetings will consist of a gathering time, small group sharing for those who are comfortable, and then a speaker. For more information, visit www. facebook.com/WichitaPFLAG or e-mail info@ictpflag.org. l


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K-State student’s play aims to educate on safe ‘gay sex’ By Brian Hansen M A N H AT TA N - W h e n assigned to write a play for her playwriting class, Kansas State University student Brittany Burr was uncertain of what topic to cover, at first. After hearing about a syphilis outbreak on the K-State campus, she began to question the students’ education of healthy sex practices. This led her to conduct a series of interviews from members of the LGBT community across the country. Burr’s play, Sex Ed: What Wasn’t Covered, uses components of said interviews to raise awareness between heterosexual and nonheterosexual safe sex practices within the various school systems. “Being a part of the LGBT community, I was wondering how an outbreak could even occur! Aren’t students being taught to get tested, go to the doctor, and engage in healthy sex practices?” said Burr after hearing about the syphilis

outbreak on campus. The play centers around anonymous interviews regarding sexual education experiences with LGBT individuals in different states. Burr says, “The transcriptions of the interviews, copied verbatim, were formulated into a play.” Burr discovered through her interviews, as a community, individuals were strongly educated in heterosexual safesex in school, but not educated in LGBT safe-sex practices until early or late adulthood. “When we’re not being taught in our schools about gay or lesbian sex and the protection available, it’s just another slap in the face that we’re not the same; that we’re not worth being talked about because it’s wrong. … [But] it needs to be talked about, otherwise, we’ll just learn from personal experience,” says an interviewee of Burr. The play will take place Nov. 14-16 at the Purple Masque Theater at Kansas State University. There will be a

Sex Ed:

!

What Wasn’t Covered !

November 14th-16th 7:30pm FREE Purple Masque Theatre (East Stadium 103) !

remount on Sunday, Dec. 1 (World AIDS Day). Each show begins at 7:30pm and will be free to attend. Any donations collected will go to AIDS research. Each show will also end with a “talk-back” giving the audience an opportunity to meet and question the cast and crew. Burr encourages anyone

interested in the topic of safesex to see the show, although the show discusses explicit sexual topics with strong language and is recommended for audience members 18 and older. More information about the play can be found on the “Sex Ed: What Wasn’t Covered” Facebook event page. l


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I

NOVEMBER 2013

normally answer my readers’ questions, but this month I have to get on my soapbox about something that has been going on. Yes, that is right, the government shutdown over Obama-care. I realize that the government is now back up and running, but it still caused issues and was just stupid to have happen! It would be like if my dear departed husband was still alive and came home one day and demanded that I have dinner ready at the same time every day or else he would take away my grocery money.

Instead of us talking about it and having a compromise, I would just stop cleaning, cooking and telling the kids to take care of themselves. Then the house would be dirty, hungry, and the kids running wild (as if Eunice doesn’t already). These damn politicians need to grow the heck up! They are all like a bunch of kids fighting over a toy that will be obsolete by next year. You would think they were a bunch of drag queens competing for the same title! Enough is enough!!

Mama’s poem: Ode to the Government Mr. President enough already with Obama-care If you don’t you’re gonna get a big scare Stop with the government halt Or the citizens of this country will revolt All the politicians that tell all those lies It is time you learned to compromise! Quit keeping our country tied up and bound Or Mama is gonna turn this car around! l Have a question for Mama? E-mail MamaTHarper@aol.com or friend Thelma Harper on Facebook.

Online Readers Poll

Were you affected by the government shutdown? Visit libertypress.net to cast your vote!


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Wichita Pride brings back award ceremony By Kristi Parker WICHITA - September’s Pride Week in Wichita culminated into another successful year. Events were held over nine days that included the Party Bus bar crawl, Open Mic Night, WigStock, a screening of La Cage Aux Folles, and of course the Pride parade and PrideFest. One popular event that has been missing the past couple of years is GALA (the Gay And Lesbian Awards). It returned this year to a new site - the La Quinta Inn East’s ballroom - and with a new passion. “GALA seems to have done pretty well this year,” Brent Kennedy, President of Wichita Pride, said. “We had compliments on the venue, the food, and several people liked the look of the awards. I think it went really well.” Two events started last year to help incorporate a kid-friendly environment were the Family Picnic and bowling. “We had a great turnout for the Family Picnic, and Cosmic Bowling was a lot of fun so it looks like those were good to carry through from last year,” Kennedy said. “Overall, PrideWeek shaped up nicely.” l

The Wichita Bears well represented at GALA By Travis M. Hooper, Webmaster Wichita Bears WICHITA - The Bears Win! The Bears Win! The Bears Win! No, this has nothing to do with sports. This was the reaction of a local LGBT group in Wichita on Thursday night Sept., 19. The Wichita Bears had just been named Organization of the Year at the Gay and Lesbian Awards (GALA) presented by Wichita Pride. GALA nomination ballot boxes are placed in select locations around Wichita and tallied for a final ballot. It culminates in a banquet where the final ballots are cast and the winners are announced live. Several of the local Wichita Bears were on hand for the festivities and celebrated the win. One of those Bears was President, Benjamin Breese. Breese has been a member of the Bears for 11 years, has served as Secretary and has been the President for the past four years. One of the main functions of the group is to fundraise for various local charities. Over the past year the Bears have raised and donated money to First Metropolitan Community Church (FMCC), Positive Directions’ AIDS Walk and even donated money from their emergency fund to victims of the Moore, Oklahoma tornado. Breese had another reason to be proud during GALA. Breese was named Activist of the Year by Wichita Pride. Along with his duties within the Wichita Bears, he has been active with FMCC for the past year. Breese was asked how he defines an

Attendees enjoy the entertainment at the Pride Festival held Sept. 29 at the Indian Center. Photos by Deb Dobbs

activist: “An activist is a person who is passionate about what they believe in. I have always had a drive to stand up for what I believe in. I believe in unity in the community. The Wichita Bears have made working with all groups and community service our main priority. I firmly believe that all of the different groups should and one day will work together. When activists work together continued on page 29

Find more information @ our website www.woolfks.com Or @: facebook.com/Wichta OrganizationOfLeatherFetishes And @ Twitter: @Woolf_Events

WICHITA ORGANZATION OF LEATHER FETISHES Presents November 16h, 2013 – Sounds by Phoenix Red November 12th, 2013 − Board Meeting @ 6pm December – No Meeting or Class December 14, 2013 –Board Meeting@ 6pm All classes are held at 1602 E. Waterman in Wichita, KS…. unless otherwise stated. WOOLF is dedicated to the education and development of the leather and fetish community. We are a pansexual group, open to gay, straight, and bi-sexual persons.


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NOVEMBER 2013

Both ArtAID events successful; Patton calls it quits

By Kristi Parker W I C H I TA - A f t e r h i s organization raised over $70,000 at ArtAID 2013, Cody Patton, executive director of Positive Directions, made a surprising announcement to step down. Patton is the founder of the AIDS service organization that started in 1991 as the Care Coordination Team. He has overseen many changes - including the name, 501c3 status, several office locations, added services, the addition of the Daily Bread program, among many others - as the organization has grown into the biggest HIV/AIDS organization in the state. continued on page 33 Pictured left: Ballroom dancers from Care to Dance and models from Models & Images entertain during the runway show at ArtAID Saturday night. Photos by Chad Parker Right: Performers dazzle outside the cigar tent that included mini burgers from The Douglas Avenue Chop Shop on Wednesday night. Photos by Darrin Hackney Photography


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NOVEMBER 2013

LikeMe Lighthouse annual fundraiser a night of Comedy for a Cause

By Ciara Reid, staff reporter KANSAS CITY - Some of the biggest comedians in the country will all be on one stage Nov. 13 at the Folly Theater, and all for a great cause: to help raise funds for Kansas City’s LGBTQ community center, the LikeMe Lighthouse. Founded by country singer and LGBTQ advocate Chely Wright in the spring of 2010, the LikeMe Lighthouse has become a muchneeded haven for the LGBTQ community. Wright, along with headliner Margaret Cho, Jim Short, Judy Gold, and John Fugelsang, will be at the Folly Theater to deliver top-notch entertainment for Kansas City, and all to raise money for the organization’s annual fundraising event. Char Daniels, Director of Operations for the LikeMe Lighthouse, is grateful for Wright’s involvement. “We are so lucky to have Chely as our founder,” Daniels says.

Audiences can look forward to a special appearance by Wright, along with a fun surprise – even Daniels won’t divulge exactly what Wright has up her sleeve. “I’m not at liberty to say what it is,” she says. “She’s doing something very, very special.” Audiences should be very familiar with Cho – aside from her uber-successful stand-up comedy career, many fell in love with her when she starred in her semi-autobiographical sitcom, All-American Girl in the 1990s. She gained even more fans in 1999 when she starred in the one-woman show I’m the One that I Want. Since then, she has consistently toured and been a part of top-rated shows like Dancing with the Stars and Drop Dead Diva. She is currently touring for her new stand-up show, Mother, with Jim Short as the opening act. Cho and Short currently have a podcast called Monsters of Talk on www. soundcloud.com.

More information: Tickets are $30-$45. For tickets, visit www.follytheater.org For more information on the LikeMe Lighthouse, visit www. likemelighthouse.org To win tickets to this event, watch the Liberty Press’ Facebook page for details Cho’s involvement in the LikeMe Lighthouse’s fundraiser even happened quite naturally – Wright just asked her. “Chely asked me and I’m a huge fan of hers and so it was a real honor to be asked!” says Cho. So what can audiences expect at the show? “I’m doing all new material and it’s different every day!” she says. “I’ll be talking about lots of things from gay rights and my own queer life to being the mother superior to all my young friends.” Judy Gold has been a mainstay in the comedy world. She recently wrapped up her off-Broadway show The Judy

Gold Show: My Life as a Sitcom in New York City. Known for her hilarious, self-deprecating humor, Gold will surely be a hit at the fundraising event. John Fugelsang has hosted numerous shows including America’s Funniest Home Videos, and recently wrapped up his own political talk show Viewpoint on Current TV. The event begins with a silent auction from 5-6:30pm. Various items will be available for auction, including doggie day spa certificates and gift cards to some of the city’s most popular restaurants. The comedy begins at 7pm. l


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ThehegHE SuicideUICIDE EPIDEMICpidemic

Part III -- A Survivor’s Story By Helen Barnes Editor’s note: The following is the third in a three-part series on suicide. In the following interview, the name has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual. The reporter responsible for this article hopes that this woman’s story will encourage others who need help to seek it from family, friends, significant others, and appropriate service providers. We all know and love people like Buddy. Some of us are like Buddy.

B

uddy, who wanted her age left out of the article, identifies as queer. “My suicidal feelings probably come from living my entire life outside the norm as well as dealing with abuse issues,” she says. “I remember when I was about seven, I was completely distraught to find out I wouldn’t grow up to be a man.” It was around this same time that she was sexually abused. She struggled with not “fitting in,” convinced she was a boy stuck in a girl’s body. “I didn’t know how to act, I only knew that I was ‘wrong,’ somehow, and that I liked doing ‘boy’ things and that I liked girls.” Even after deciding that she must be a lesbian, there was something missing in her relationships. “Imagine how it feels to be with someone -intimate with someone -- and suffer this deep, deep discomfort because stuff is just not working like it should.” After a round of therapy, Buddy was convinced that maybe she was just “damaged” from the abuse. Then, in her 20s, she was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder. This made a lot of sense to her, but it still wasn’t the “magic pill” that fixed everything. Buddy stopped therapy and became increasingly depressed. A string of failed relationships brought her to an incredible low. “Even after I figured out WHAT I was, expressing that to the women I was with was like opening up a hornet’s nest -- they just couldn’t seem to deal with the idea that I might physically change if we stayed together.” She was completely alone,

physically ill, away from home, and finally decided she was done fighting. Buddy related that she took a handful of pills she had collected from various sources. They should have done the job, but, maybe because I was already sick, I threw them up. Unfortunately I was even sicker after that. I couldn’t get up for days. I took my surviving as a sign that I should hang around. Shortly after this, she started therapy again and is now on antidepressants. Although this has helped, Buddy says she still considers “throwing in the towel” frequently. “It is almost as if that first attempt made it easier to think about doing it again.” She also continues to deal with the pressure of not fitting in. Hormone therapy and reassignment surgery are options she has examined, but they are “way off in the future.” Her biggest concern is that “hormones and surgery may make me physically more into the person I see myself as in my head, but they still may not fix the problems caused by the other things I’ve suffered.” l For those who have friends or loved ones that might be considering suicide, the best thing to do is be as supportive as possible and get help for them as soon as possible. This is a sensitive subject and observers of potentially suicidal behavior can be worried about when to jump in and help. The website www. helpguide.org/mental/ suicide_prevention.htm provides a list of warning signs along with ways to start the conversation about suicide. Local and national resources are available as well. In Sedgwick County, the Suicide Prevention

Hotline is open 24 hours a day/7 days a week at (316) 660-7500. In Lawrence and across the state, Headquarters Counseling

Center also takes calls 24/7 at (785) 841-2345 or 1-800-7842433 or 1-800-273-8255.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s

14th Annual

International Survivors of Suicide Day Saturday, November 23, 2013

If you have lost someone to suicide, please join us. Location: Via Christi Hospital, 3600 E. Harry, Wichita, KS McNamara Center, 3rd Floor For information or to pre-register, contact: Denise Van Dorn, 316.858.0216 denise.vandorn@viachristi.org Walk-ins are welcome, but pre-registering will help us greatly in our planning. Schedule: 10:30 – 11:00 a.m.: Check in and registration 11:00 am – 1:00 p.m. There is no charge to attend A light lunch will be served.


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By Ben Rivers

an Savage’s most recent book, American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics (Dutton, $26.95) is a timely and provoking collection of essays about current politics, culture, and the war on civil rights and marriage equality. He comments on his past and reminds his naysayers that he is human and will make mistakes (e.g. his comments on bisexual males).

“Bigot Christmas” is the final essay, where Savage relates the time Brian Brown, cofounder of the Nation Organization for Marriage, came to his house for dinner and after dinner discussion. It is encouraging to read how someone so active in the fight for marriage equality, can be so open and inviting to someone so filled with hate. Most enjoyable is the essay “Still Evil. Less Evil. But Still Evil” where Peter LaBarbera (president of Americans for Truth about Homosexuality) meets Jesus. This happens in a one act play written by Savage where Jesus rips LaBarbera a new one. I listened to the audio book, laughed until it hurt, rewound, and continued laughing. These essays take on the idea of homosexuality as a choice, the healthcare debate, cheating in relationships, and so much more. Savage narrates the audiobook,

NOVEMBER 2013

breathing life into the sharp wit and well-researched opinions of his book. Switching to fiction, when I read J.H. Trumble’s first novel, Don’t Let Me Go I was mesmerized by his ability to convey both tragic and intimate moments without laying out the details of the events. In his second novel, Where You Are I was still entranced by his prose and commended his tackling of the touchy topic of student/ teacher relationships, but ended the book with an aversion to his choice to glaze over the abuse of power inherent in such a

situation. In Trumble’s newest novel, Just Between Us (Kensington Books, $15) we have good storytelling, again. Trumble invites us back into the world of his first two novels, and weaves the story lines together to bring everything to a close. We have Robert from Where You Are and Nate from Don’t Let Me Go and the connecting piece is Luke Chesser, Nate’s rebound after splitting with Adam. In Just Between Us high school student Luke falls for his marching band coach Curtis, a recent graduate. We learn very early on that Curtis is HIV-positive, and Trumble plays up his masculine masking of his problem. What we experience so intensely is Luke and Curtis’ coming to terms with the fact that HIV is a part of both of their lives, and that life does go on. I look forward to Trumble’s next novel, but I sincerely hope he is finished with these characters. While I found them interesting, the tension of older guy/younger guy relationship drama had lost its interest. Even more, I hope he is finished with the cookie cutter way all three novels unfolded. It is my fear that if I went back and looked at the page number of the climatic moment in each novel they would be the same. Just Between Us could have surprised me if I wasn’t already aware of the twists and turns, because Trumble has lead me down a similar road before. l

to win tickets!

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NOVEMBER 2013

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

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LGBT: What Does It Really Mean?

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LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

all people. I have heard is said that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, and a joy shared is a joy doubled. And I have seen people professing proudly and publicly in the name of God that two

their communities, and to God based on such petty reasoning as because they are the same sex. Grace is the unspoken moment by moment lifetime that takes place throughout our land as two gay men are not allowed to proclaim their love while walking in a society that feasts on the same joy they are denied. It is like sitting at a restaurant, starving to death, and watching the other patrons devour a sevencourse meal. T h e M e r r i a m - We b s t e r online dictionary includes this definition of grace: a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving. This is the perfect analogy for discrimination

GBT. These letters stand for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. They also stand for love, grace, beauty, and truth. The challenges and the solutions to creating a different world are “Wherever we are, being who we are is the most intertwined in these two powerful tool we have in our battle for equality.� representations of these four letters. Peace, hope, faith, lesbian women are not entitled against the LGBT peoples of and dignity are the winners and to the same kind of joy that is the world: You starve, while I losers depending on whether or freely available to a man and a feast - and please be controlled, not ignorance, prejudice, close- woman. It is the very essence of polite, and pleasant about it. We mindedness, and fear take part hate; that two committed human are asked to demonstrate a saintin the battle. beings should not be allowed like amount of grace on a daily Love is the game-changer. It to proclaim their love to their basis. fills the human heart with the joy families and friends, to their B e a u t y i s t h e s p o t o n that could and should belong to neighbors and coworkers, to synonym for bisexual. Often the most misunderstood of the four letters, bisexuality is typically defined as sexual attraction toward both males and females. This description inappropriately portrays being bisexual with infidelity, promiscuity, and noncommitment. The beauty is lost in the description and never allowed to shine. Love can sometimes transcend gender. It is love in its most pure form. It is love for a human being, not contingent on their gender. Imagine looking at a rainbow and saying I love the rainbow because it contains the color blue, or because it contains the color red. Now imagine looking at the rainbow and saying I love it not because of the colors it contains, but because of the message it sends to the world. Truth becomes the definition of transgender when a person stops pretending to be someone they are not. I did not transition. I transitioned the way I presented myself to you. I transitioned your understanding of who I am. I am the same woman I have always been. I did not transition me. What I did, was to begin telling you the truth about me.

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And in the process, what I did, was to bloom. Like a flower finally allowed to live in the light. I know that not everyone fits in an L box, or a G box, or a B box, or a T box. None of the people I know truly fit in any box. We, as human beings, are far more relevant to the universe than that. We can be found in all the colors of the rainbow, in all the areas where one color blends into another color, in a different light, or an indefinable space. The words love, grace, beauty, and truth apply no matter where someone might find themselves in the spheres of sexual orientation and gender identity. Wherever we are, being who we are is the most powerful tool we have in our battle for equality. Positive visibility is the opener of doors. Letting others see the human being, who does not fit into the binary, is the means by which we create more space for ourselves and for the LGBT* next generation. Love, grace, beauty, and truth are aspects of our humanness that are seldom the focus of who we truly are. Part of the movement toward equality needs to embrace these qualities. At the same time, we must continue the fight. Silence about our oppression does not facilitate change. Allies are an extraordinarily important part of our struggle for an end to legalized discrimination. I believe that the people who line up next to me when I enter the battleground do so for two reasons. First, because they know that oppression in any form is wrong and needs to be changed. The second reason is because they have experienced my humanness in a way that clarifies what they are fighting for. Knowledge and information are the keys to acceptance and understanding. Fear and ignorance are the locks. When one person shares, it is like putting a key in a lock. When one person listens, the key turns and the lock opens. Another human being has a bright, new shiny key. Together, one person at a time, we change the world. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender. Love, grace, beauty, and truth. It is all one and the same. l


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LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

A Journey In The Light Ministries

Living, Reaching, Teaching, Preaching the Word of God in Unity

Pastor Danny L. Medell

A full gospel ministry that still teaches Christ, Him crucified and the message of the cross.

2231 S Bluff Wichita, KS 67218 Pastor’s Phone: (316) 925-1102 www.journeyinthelightministries.com

We are a church that accepts everyone regardless of their race, color, social status, sexual orientation, where they are or where they have been in life.

Bible Study for all ages Sunday at 10 am Praise and Worship Service Sunday at 11 am

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AM: Do you have any advice for new queens? JN: My advice is to think it over, make sure it is something you really want to do, if you don’t it will be very short-lived!

H

ello once again my Kansas friends! Greetings from your newly crowned Miss South 40, oh yeah baby! I hope you all enjoyed last month’s column with the lovely Brown Sugar. She represented Kansas so well at the official Miss Gay America Pageant! Congrats Brown Sugar! Now this month, it’s time to get cozy and get ready for the holidays. I cannot believe it is already that time of year. This month we have a legend to interview, who I am always honored to share the stage with, Jasmine Nicole! Audrey McQueen: Thank you for meeting with me today, Jasmine! Jasmine Nicole: You are so welcome, my doll. I’m so happy to finally be one of the chosen few! AM: You’re so welcome! Where did you get your drag name? JN: Originally I was Diamond Nicole, when I was in Oklahoma City performing, and going into bars underage just to do the shows. When I became of age, I then became Jasmine Nicole. I named myself after one of my nieces. I just loved her name so much I legally changed my name to Jasmine. AM: Do you have any former titles or awards? JN: Miss Emerald City, Miss Copa, and Achiever of the Year at the Hi-Lo. AM: Very nice! Who are your inspirations? JN: My biggest inspirations are Whitney Houston and Patti LaBelle. I like to refer to Whitney as my sister. She is like my other

NOVEMBER 2013

AM: Tell me about your first time doing drag? JN: I was nervous, and I looked a hot mess. But when I went out there I commanded the stage. I still stick to that these days. If the audience doesn’t like me or doesn’t like my song, you better believe I will command the stage and be the character I am portraying. Years ago I was hired to do impersonations like Patti LaBelle and Whitney Houston.

Jasmine Nicole

half. My nieces and nephews inspire me to keep on. My best friend Gary inspires me anytime someone would tell me I couldn’t he would be there to tell me I could! I inspire myself; if I didn’t, nothing would ever get done. AM: Very good inspirations! When did you start doing drag? JN: I started doing drag on my 15th birthday in Oklahoma City. Back then we could do that, if we had a niche we could perform. But back to the question I have been performing for 22 years!

Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes 1 15 oz. can pumpkin puree 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 cup brown sugar 2 large eggs 1 tsp. vanilla extract 3/4 cup evaporated milk 2/3 cup all-purpose flour 2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice 1/4 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. baking powder 1/4 tsp. baking soda

Directions: 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 12 cup muffin tin with silicone liners, foil liners

AM: What is a quote or motto you live by? JN: If someone shows you who they are, believe them and to thyself be true. AM: Where can we see you perform? JN: You never know where I will be. I will always be around, but stay tuned and support all the shows and you never know where I might be! I love you, Audrey McQueen! I love you too, Jasmine! I hope you all enjoyed this month’s column. We wanted to keep it short because we wanted to add a special recipe right from Jasmine’s kitchen! Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes! Happy Thanksgiving!! This has been what Audrey Asked!! l sprayed with cooking spray or just spray the cups with cooking spray. Any of these three methods will make it easy to take the cupcake out after it’s cooked. Paper liners make it difficult to remove the cupcakes. 2. Mix the pumpkin, sugar, brown sugar, eggs, vanilla extract and milk. 3. Add the flour, pumpkin spice, salt, baking powder and baking soda to the mixture. 4. Fill each muffin cup with 1/3 cup of the mixture. Bake for 20 minutes and let cool for 20 minutes. 5. Remove cupcakes from pan and chill in the fridge for 30 minutes. Top with whipped cream and sprinkle more pumpkin pie spice on top and serve. Makes 12 cupcakes.


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Minor

Details By Bob Minor

Will Marriage Equality Matter to the Community?

W

atching the marriages of lesbians and gay men take place this past year ought to be warming the heart of anyone who values equality and fairness. Government recognition - with responsibilities and benefits tied to the official status of a relationship - so long denied them, is becoming a reality federally and state by state. There are those radical rightwingers who wish none of it were happening and see samesex marriages as disgustingly evil. Their reactions are, if nothing else, sad commentaries on their inability to be moved by what marriage -- so hard fought for and so often assumed to be a hopeless dream -- means to real human beings beyond just winning equal rights. It’s as if the right-wing lacks some natural feelings for celebrating love wherever it’s found. And hiding in their trumped-up religious arguments only saves them from being moved out of some common humanity that knows real empathy for the feelings of fellow human beings. While right-wing religious people go on and on about

Divine love, they seem to have lost the capability of finding it beyond their sects. Their ideas of love are self-centered and insular. And right-wingers prefer to think of all lesbian and gay male partnerships as less than their own true relationships. They’d rather paint them as just about sex and lust so as not to admit in their own minds that these relationships involve a level of commitment that expresses all that love could mean between two people. Rather than facing all that LGBT people have gone through to just love someone, and that this is certainly a religious parable of what love is meant to be, the naysayers cling to their dogmas. In reality, LGBT people have been beaten, tortured and killed, have been kicked out of their families and lost their jobs, have been ridiculed and condemned from platforms and pulpits, because they fought to love someone. So many of those taking advantage of marriage equality had already been living in love and commitment to each other for decades. These older generations seem to be flocking

Thanksgiving Potluck 6:30 PMThursdayNovember 21 Maceli’s1031 New Hampshire Based in Lawrence, Kansas, our mission is to support, educate and serve the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans communities, their families and allies.

We’ll cook up the turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy. You bring a side dish or dessert and a drink of your choice. This is always a very good time. Bring your friends!

to the legal marriage protections given by the government more than the young who’ve lived through years marked by a bit more tolerance and often don’t feel what this breakthrough means in the light of lifetimes of oppression that older generations came to take as second nature. Yes, yes. There is much about the institution of marriage in our culture to question. There are many of us both outside and inside the LGBT community who do so, and some who criticize those who choose it, assuming the worst intentions of anyone who’d want to marry. And it’s true. On the whole marriage isn’t doing well. It’s been a patriarchal institution. Culturally, it comes with role expectations that are often stifling, straight-acting and undemocratic. Society over-promises that marriage gives so much more than any institution could ever deliver. And in America it’s defined, as most things are, by consumerism. But putting all that aside, for so many, to partake in marriage seems to legitimize, solemnize, and express relationships that are deep and meaningful. And it provides protection not only for their relationship but for both partners in it. Then, again, marriage isn’t an end in itself. We get married for reasons other than just to be married. The right-wing keeps saying that its purpose is to have children. Paul, the first-century Christian apostle wrote that it’s to take care of sexual lust: “It’s better to marry than to burn.” But there’s something bigger. Merely huddling together in a protected status afraid of what loneliness, uncertainty, and danger might otherwise come would be fear, not love. The test of marriage is how the love it expresses spills over into a community. That includes the friends we love but also the larger communities with which we identify. S o c i a l c o m m e n t a t o r, conservationist, farmer, essayist, novelist, professor of English, and poet Wendell Barry put it this way: “Lovers must not, like usurers, live for themselves alone. They must finally turn from their gaze at one another back toward the community.

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“If they had only themselves to consider, lovers would not need to marry, but they must think of others and of other things. They say their vows to the community as much as to one another, and the community gathers around them to hear and to wish them well, on their behalf and its own. It gathers around them because it understands how necessary, how joyful, and how fearful this joining is. … And so here, at the very heart of community life, we find not something to sell as in the public market but this momentous giving. If the community cannot protect this giving, it can protect nothing...” (Sex, Economy, Freedom and Community, 1993) To abandon the realization that we’re always in a community by getting married is to abandon the very acts of love that two, three or more can accomplish in the world. It’s to ask for something from the community without giving back what that community also needs from the combined strength, energy and love of lovers. For LGBT people, one question is: will becoming married mean forsaking any LGBT community with the shared interests, problems, and concerns of all of us that it had in the past? If so, how will we be reminded that we are all in this together till death us do part? Who will then take care of our widows and widowers if not our community? Where will they go to live out their days after saying the inevitable goodbye to the one they committed to for life? Who will be healthy community elders for LGBT youth at the times they need them? Who will model for our youth, who can get so caught up in other things, what long-term, grow-old-together relationships look like, or even the fact that they can exist? Who, then, out of their love together will love so much that it will spill over in community? l Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human; and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www. FairnessProject.org.


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Wichita State University opera program gets world-class visiting artist

By Helen Barnes WICHITA - Samuel Ramey, world-renowned bass-baritone and alumnus of Wichita State University was in residence four weeks this fall, which culminated in a performance in the 1955 opera Susannah this past month. Ramey’s residency as a Distinguished Visiting Artist is part of a five-year commitment to the university, in which he will spend time each fall and spring semester working with students. During his next visit in early March or April of 2014, Ramey will be assisting with the opera Dei Fledermaus (The Bat) composed by Johann Strauss II, with a libretto by Karl Haffner and Richard Genee. Ramey has been in residency for two years now. He had a special treat for students this year when he brought in the writer of Susannah, Carlisle

Floyd, so that Floyd could give performers and other students a personal perspective on his work. “Having Sam here is extraordinary for the program,” said Marie Allyn King, Director of Opera Theatre for WSU. “Studying with a worldclass singer sets the bar high for the students. They work so hard for him.” The program at WSU is already highly respected, so this sets the bar even higher, since WSU graduates currently perform all over Ramey, right, portrays Olin Blitch in WSU's production of Susannah. Courtesy photo the world. The idea for having Ramey affirmative response, patrons Carlisle Floyd’s visit was as WSU’s Distinguished Visiting stepped in to help underwrite made possible by Russ Widener, Artist was generated by Ramey the program. These benefactors Director of the School of Music, himself. As a WSU graduate, include Mickey Armstrong, Fine Arts Dean Rodney Miller, Ramey felt it was time to give Dorothy and Bill Cohen, Brenda and Music Associates. something back to the university and George Armstrong, Jinny For more information on and recently his schedule opened and John Garvey, Anita Jones, WSU Opera and other Fine Arts up. Ramey presented the idea Mary Lynn and Bill Oliver, and performances, contact the box to Rodney Miller, the Fine Ann and Dennis Ross. office at 316-978-3233. l Arts Dean at WSU. After an


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NOVEMBER 2013

visit to Kansas brought me in contact with lots of people who are passionate about justice and genuinely curious to learn more about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer issues. In performing comedies about gender-variant Bible characters and monologues about romance, sex, faith, and the wild things we do to ourselves in order to feel okay in the world, I connected with many people long after the shows ended and we talked late into the night. I met a wide crosssection of people, including several straight Evangelicals. In both the public events and private meetings I was pleased to hear a desire to get beyond the culture war. In fact, I walked away feeling hope that we are beginning to see a cease fire in the cultural conflict over lesbian and gay rights. Some people have painted themselves into corners of intolerance and opposition, and they are now looking for ways out. Wichita will be one of our last stops on a month-long, crosscontinental tour, and one of our longest stops. I had so much fun in May and met so many lovely people I felt I needed to return to continue the conversations we started. Also, I ate some amazing Mexican and Middle Eastern food in Wichita and need some more of that.

Peterson Toscano

Liberty Press: First I’d like to ask about your visit to Kansas in May. I think you stopped in both Manhattan and Wichita? What was your visit like? Was there anything about Kansas that surprised you?

PT: Anyone who has seen my work knows that I use comedy to address serious issues, and that I often do so through characters I portray on stage. No doubt there will be lots of that as I present an array of funny stories from the Bible, history, and my own life. I once tried desperately to degay myself which is both absurd and tragic and fodder for great performance pieces. I also will present brand new material from my play in progress--What Would Walt Whitman Do? A Comedy about Cancer, Climate Change, and Child Abuse. I guess it will be kind of like a wedding where the bride brings to the ceremony, “something old, something new,

Peterson Toscano: My May

continued on page 30

talks to Liberty Press about his return trip to Kansas, his husband’s delicious accent and Wichita’s amazing food | By Kristi Parker

H

E DESCRIBES himself as a Theatrical Performance Activist, but what Peterson Toscano left out of that description is how darn funny he is. An actor and Bible scholar, Toscano performs works about life, love, war and faith. He and his husband Glen Retief, an award-winning writer from South Africa, are on a 13-state cross-continental tour. Both Retief and Toscano have interesting backgrounds from which they draw stories that are

both moving and surprisingly funny. Retief, who was raised in the famous Kruger National Park in South Africa, tells what it was like growing up white and gay in South Africa during Apartheid. While Toscano relates spending 17 years and over $30,000 trying to change his sexual orientation. Both men will perform at College Hill United Methodist Church on Monday, Nov. 18 at 7pm in a show entitled “Two gay Quakers walk into a United

LP: At your upcoming performance at College Hill United Methodist Church what should people look forward to?

Methodist Church . . . “ Just back from a stop in Toronto, Toscano answered a few questions about his trip to Kansas.


FMCC Ad 11.13:Layout 1 NOVEMBER 2013

10/23/13

3:28 PM

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FIRST MCC OF KANSAS

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SUNDAY WORSHIP 10:15 AM •FELLOWSHIP FOLLOWING SERVICE Watch Our Livestream Service Broadcast on our Website

Rev. Jackie Carter, M.Div.

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH

156 S. Kansas • Wichita, KS 67211 • (316) 267-1852 • www.MCCWichita.com • www.GodLovesYouPeriod.com Office: M-F • 9:00 am-12:00 Noon • And By Appointment

Transgender Day of Remembrance Saturday @ 7pm 23 November 2013 @First Metropolitan Community Church 156 S. Kansas St., Wichita, KS

Will be Observed

JOIN US IN COMMEMORATING THE 32ND ANNIVERSARY OF THE AIDS PANDEMIC

SUNDAY • DECEMBER 1ST • 2 PM FIRST METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH 156 S. KANSAS,WICHITA, KS

• CANDLELIGHT VIGIL • SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS Acknowledge the local and national history of HIV Celebrate the advances in care Remember those we have lost GOD LOVES YOU.

PERIOD

We would like to express our extreme gratitude to the organizations and individuals that collaborated on this event ...without them it would not have been possible!

{ b

Join us for a candlelight vigil! To remember those who have died due to anti-transgender violence! Let us show those individuals they have not died in vain; that together we can affect change!

We can make a difference by being visible and speaking out about anti-transgender violence!

Speakers, Poetry, and more... Brought to you by: TransRiseAbove, Inc. and (FMCC) First Metropolitan Community Church

NOVEMBER 22, 2013 • 7:00 PM - 10:00 PM

l e g n ASupport the Homeless Overflow Shelter Fundraiser

Experience the Revolution™

Be an

“TRAILER PARK CHRISTMAS” AT SOUTH FORTY • 3201 S. HILLSIDE

Admission is $5 or one new hoodie AUDRY MCQUEEN WILL MC • SILENT AUCTION • DINNER PROVIDED • GAMES UGLY SWEATER CONTEST • PRIZES FOR: ADULT / CHILD / PEOPLE’S CHOICE

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Leather Life By Nolin Christensen aka Master C

This column is dedicated to explaining to others what the Leather lifestyle is about and what we do.

I

Daddy/boy Relationships

n the continuing theme of the various types of relationships in the Leather community, this month I’d like to talk about the Daddy/boy relationship. This is probably the second most controversial type of relationship in our community.

There are various terms used with this relationship; Daddy/ boy, Daddy/son, Daddy/girl, Daddy/daughter, Mama/boy, Mama/son, Mama/girl, Mama/ daughter. All are terms used to describe this relationship. First of all, this is a consensual relationship and second most important of all, it involves ADULTS, no children. The submissive takes on the persona of a son or daughter and the Dom takes the reins as a father/mother figure. The relationship works just the same as real life parents/ children relationships. This type of relationship may or may not be sexual in nature. It could be platonic, where the two individuals participate in a parent/child-type life. Or it could be sexual in nature. This is totally up to the two individuals. There are many people who have a desire and fantasy to have a relationship with someone who is a father figure or who is a young youth figure. With that said, the Dom

NOVEMBER 2013

may or may not be an older person and the submissive may or may not be someone who looks young. Although many who participate in this type of relationship do have an age difference, many others do not. Over the years I have seen both, older with younger and those who are close in age. When I was in a Daddy/boy relationship at one time, our ages were only about five years apart. People get into this relationship because of the need of the submissive to have someone who is a father/mother figure for them. The Dom gets into the relationship for the control over someone just like a parent has. Just like all relationships in the Leather community, it is very important to have written rules defining the various aspects of the relationship. That way

there is no miscommunication between the parties. When someone is a Daddy or Mama in the relationship, the term should be used only by those in the relationship. It normally is NOT a term that should be used out in the community at-large. This is something that as more people get involved in the lifestyle they think that what they are in a relationship is also what they should be called in the community. Wrong info there, folks. How your relationship works has and should not have any bearing in the community. If you are interested in learning more about Daddy/boy relationships, please contact any member of WOOLF. We will be glad to educate you more on our lifestyle. l

to win tickets!

This month win tickets to So You Think You Can Dance Tour, The Addams Family, ABBA Mania, Spank! and Margaret Cho!! Start your holiday shopping

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NOVEMBER 2013 Pride continued from page 13

the possibilities are endless. Wichita has a strong and diverse activist community that has been working on a variety of causes over many years. When activists work together for the many causes we are all fighting for, we share our knowledge of the issues, our skills, creativity, and resources and ultimately we create a network that can move fast, act strong and create change. We also practice solidarity, build friendships and strengthen our community.� T h e Wi c h i t a B e a r s have assisted other local groups this year, including WOOLF and Wichita Pride, Inc. assisting with the Pride Parade and setting up an information booth selling baked goods. The Bears are always looking for ways to help within the LGBT community and hope to continue building relationships. It has become the general consensus among the Wichita Bears that dedication to the local community must be at the forefront of their activities. Visit www.wichitabears. org to learn more about the group and upcoming events. l

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

The winners by ballot at the event were: Bartender - Russell Taylor (Fantasy) Community Organization Wichita Bears LGBT Activist - Ben Breese Drag Queen - James Outhet aka Jamie Ray Downes Drag King - Jennifer Madden aka Ladies Man

Straight Ally - Michael Carmody Non-Bar Business - The Donut Whole LGBT Club/Bar - Side Street Retro-Lounge

** Humanitarian (by vote of the Wichita Pride, Inc. steering committee and Board of Directors) - Teresa Romey

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Toscano continued from page 26

something borrowed, something blue.” LP: I see that you’re traveling this time with your husband Glen, who will also perform. Do you two perform together or is his a separate presentation? PT: Yes, my adorable husband, Glen Retief, will be with me. He is a brilliant writer who published a memoir about growing up white and gay during Apartheid in South Africa. His stories are gripping. It doesn’t hurt that he has the most delicious accent when he reads his work. Glen is also a creative writer and the winner of the 2012 Lambda Literary Award for The Jack Bank--A Memoir of a South African Childhood. Currently he is working on a novel called, The Tapeworm Chronicles. He has given readings of his work in North America, South Africa, and in the UK, and is very animated when he does it. He has amazing true stories to share--escaping a lion attack, standing up to school bullies, and successfully lobbying the new South African government to include LGBT equality in the constitution, the first country in the world to do so. What he does is performance. The audience sits and enjoys adult reading time where vivid pictures form in their heads as Glen reads his gorgeous prose with his lilting voice. We have presented together a half dozen times including at a magical event in a pub in Ireland a few years back. LP: Both you and Glen have gone through some pretty tough situations and have

Retief

chosen to use comedy to share those experiences. Did that come naturally for the both of you? PT: Comedy comes more naturally to me than to Glen. His first book is not comic at all, well, except for a few moments. His newest book actually does dabble with some comedy. I’d like to think my silly side has been contagious, but really I think after writing an intense and painful memoir, he is ready for something a little lighter. That said, like me he takes on deadly serious topics-race, climate change, violence, LGBTQ rights. Some realities are hard to face directly. Humor helps open us up. It relaxes us, so that we can address topics often too hot to handle. I think about my first play, Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House. It is a tragic story, so I needed comedy to explore it, both for me and my audience. As a result, I think the piece is deeper than it ever could have been as a drama. For more information on Peterson Toscano or Glen Retief, visit www.petersontoscano.com or www.glenretief.com. l

“They’re not heroes and they’re not demons. After Tiller is an important reminder of the personal stories of doctors and mothers that can get lost in an issue as divisive as abortion.” -FilmThreat

NOVEMBER 20, 7:30 PM ORPHEUM THEATER $10 GENERAL ADMISSION, $8 DISCOUNTED

The Filmmakers will be Attending; Panel Discussion to Follow


NOVEMBER 2013

Xcitement Video

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LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL. celebration held in September.

Student groups Free State High School GSA, Lawrence, (785) 832-6050, phatcher@usd497.org, welcomes all queer, questioning and straight ally youth to talk about issues. Meets Wednesdays.

Community Centers The Center, 1602 E. Waterman, Wichita Kansas State University LGBT Resource Center, 207 A/B Holton Hall, Manhattan, (785) 532-5299, www.kstate-edu/lgbt Open Roads LGBT Community Center, Hays, (785) 259-6526, openroadslgbt@gmail.com, www. openroadslgbt.org

Health Douglas County AIDS Project, 346 Maine, Suite 160, Lawrence, (785) 8430040, www.douglascountyaidsproject. org Hunter Health Clinic, 2318 E. Central, Wichita, (316) 262-3611, FREE HIV confidential or anonymous testing with Spanish and Vietnamese interpreters. KU Internal Medicine-Midtown, KU School of Medicine, 1001 N. Minneapolis, Wichita, (316) 293-1840, (877) 472-8227 toll-free, (316) 293-2652 HIV Program LGBT Health Coalition of Sedgwick County, Wichita, (316) 285-0007, www. sedgwickcountylgbt.org Positive Connections, 1001 SW Garfield Ave, third floor, Topeka, (785) 232-3100, www.pcneks.org Positive Directions, 414 S. Commerce, Wichita, (316) 263-2214, (316) 2635214, www.pdiks.com Regional AIDS Project, Manhattan, (785) 587-1999 or (785) 238-5338 Junction City, rap@flinthills.com Sedgwick County Health Dept., 2716 W. Central, Wichita, (316) 660-7300, www.sedgwickcounty.org The Sweet Emergency Fund, KUSM-W MPA, 1010 N. Kansas, Wichita, (316) 293-3405

Politics/Activism Kansas Equality Coalition, www. kansasequalitycoalition.org, chapters across the state. Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project, (785) 215-7436, stephanie.mott@k-step.org, www.kstep.org, provides transgender education and resources. Peace and Social Justice Center of South Central Kansas, 1407 N. Topeka, Wichita, (316) 263-5886, director@ wichitapeace.org, www.wichitapeace. org Wichita Pride, info@wichitapride. org, www.wichitapride.org, annual

Haskell Shout OUT, Haskell Indian Nations University, Bobby. crowfeather@haskell.edu, dedicated to actively seeking to bridge the Native LGBTQ community and their straight allies by promoting Openness, Understanding, and Tolerance. Meets Thursdays at 6pm in Stidham Union. KU Queers & Allies, University of Kansas, Lawrence, (785) 864-3091, qanda@ku.edu, www.ku.edu/~qanda Lawrence High School GSA, (785) 330-2391, ArlaKan@usd497.org, welcomes all LGBT, questioning and straight youth to talk about issues. Meets almost every Friday at 3:05pm in the LHS library. Manhattan High School GSA, mhs_ gsa@hotmail.com Pitt State GSA, Pittsburg State University, pittstategaystraightalliance@ gmail.com That Gay Group!, Wichita State U n i v e r s i t y, ( 3 1 6 ) 9 7 8 - 7 0 1 0 , thatgaygroup@gmail.com, www. wichita.edu/tgg

Social Heart of America Men’s Chorus, Wichita, (316) 708-4837, www.hoamc. org Junction City Teddy Bears, www. jctbears.com/index.htm NetworQ, Lawrence, KansasNetworQ@ yahoo.com, www.KansasNetworQ.org, meets at Maceli’s, 1031 New Hampshire Wichita Bears, presidentwichitabears@ yahoo.com, www.wichitabears.org Wichita Organization of Leather Fetishes, (316) 201-6242, www. woolfks.com Wichita Prime Timers, ICTPrimeTimers@aol.com, www. primetimersww.org/Wichita, social group for mature gay men.

Spiritual A Journey In The Light Ministries, 2231 S. Bluff (St. Christopher ’s Episcopal Chapel), Wichita, Sunday Praise and Worship services at 11am. College Hill United Methodist Church, 2930 E. 1st, Wichita, (316) 683-4643, www.collegehillumc.org, Sunday Celebrations at 8:30, 9:40 and 11:00am. First Congregational United Church of Christ, 700 Poyntz Ave., Manhattan, (785) 537-7006, www.uccmanhattan. org, Sunday services at 10:45am; Taize services Thursday at 7pm, An Open and Affirming Congregation. First Metropolitan Community Church of Kansas, 156 S. Kansas, Wichita, (316) 267-1852, www.mccwichita.com, www.godlovesyouperiod.com, Sunday services at 10:15am. First Unitarian Universalist Church

NOVEMBER 2013

of Wichita, 7202 E. 21st St., (316) 6843481, officemanager@firstuu.net, www. firstuu.net.

3778, LGBTQIA youth group for ages 12-21. Meets at The Center, 1602 E. Waterman, every Friday from 7-9pm.

Kalpa Bhadra Kadampa Buddhist Center, 721 W. 13th St., Wichita, (316) 263-1533, info@meditateinkansas.org, www.meditateinkansas.org

Headquarters Counseling Center, Lawrence, (785) 841-2345 free 24/7, www.hqcc.lawrence.ks.us

Lutheran Campus Ministry, 1421 W. 19th, Lawrence, lutheran@ku.edu Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka, 4425 SW 19th, (785) 2721442, office@mcctopeka.org, www. MCCTopeka.org, services Sundays at 10am. Pine Valley Christian Church, 5620 E. 21st St., Wichita, (316) 685-2421, churchoffice@pvcconline.org, www. pvcconline.org Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Manhattan, 481 Zeandale Road, (785) 537-2349, www.uufm.net, services Sundays at 10:45am. Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Topeka, 4775 SW 21st St., (785) 2729233, www.uuft.org, services Sundays at 10:30am.

Support Central Plains Area Agency on Aging, 2622 W. Central Suite 500, Wichita, (316) 660-5120, www.cpaaa.org, CPAAA is available to assist seniors, caregivers, and adults with disabilities through life’s transitions and with various levels of support. COMCARE Crisis Intervention Services, 934 N. Water, Wichita, (316) 660-7500 free 24/7, www. sedgwickcounty.org Flint Hills PFLAG, Manhattan, (785) 410-3130, fhpflag@sbcglobal.net, www. fhpflag.org, meets 3rd Tuesdays, 7pm, First Congregational Church, 700 Poyntz Ave. Get Connected, Wichita, (316) 491-

HIV+ Men’s Support Group, Wichita, (316) 293-3405, mmadecky@kumc.edu O n e D a y A t A Ti m e , Wi c h it a , Alcoholics Anonymous meetings held Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8pm at First MCC, 156 S. Kansas. PFLAG Hutchinson, PO Box 2488, Hutchinson, (620) 899-2345, pflaghutch@gmail.com PFLAG Lawrence/Topeka, (785) 235-3831, sffeist@msn.com, www. pflagnekansas.org, meets 1st Sundays, 2-4pm at MCC of Topeka, 4425 SW 19th. PFLAG Wichita, info@ictpflag.org, www.facebook.com/WichitaPFLAG, meets 2nd Thursdays, 6:30-8pm at College Hill United Methodist, 2930 E. 1st. Transgender Resource and Awareness Network (TRAN), www.thefaceoftrans. com, provides resources, information, and news regarding transgender issues in Wichita. TransYouth of Kansas, Topeka, tyks@ cox.net, www.tyks.org, providing support for transgender youth and their families. Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center, 355 N. Waco, Suite 100, (316) 2630185 office, (316) 263-3002 crisis line 24/7, wasac@wichitasac.com, www. wichitasac.com, free, confidential sexual assault services to all genders and sexual orientations. Medical & legal advocacy, support groups, adult & child crisis counseling, educational programs. Wichita Transgender Coalition, wichitatranscoalition@gmail.com, wichitatrans.webs.com/. l

Around Kansas listings are free to non-profit/volunteerbased groups. Send your additions or corrections to editor@libertypress.net.

Win tickets at www.libertypress.net!


NOVEMBER 2013

LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

Products & Services Massage Guy! 9am-9pm, open 7 days. No appointment necessary. (316) 204-0111, 1st time special, call for details. Male-to-male massage

tinyurl.com/herscopes Charlene Lichtenstein’s ground-breaking astrology book HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians is celebrating its 10th anniversary! The secrets that are revealed about each sign continue to amaze. Makes a great gift. Classifieds are available for $5 for the first 15 words. E-mail editor@libertypress.net for other options, and pricing.

In Search of ISO Friendship 58-year-old transgender 5’4” 140 lbs on medication looking for same or female for friendship and outings. Wichita/SouthCentral Kansas region. No sex. Contact michelletg58@gmail.com

N

ovember is filled with big surprises. So be on your toes as Pluto and Venus square Uranus and scramble our best laid plans. Omelette anyone?

Positive Directions executive director Cody Patton, left, with Siena Tuscan Steakhouse chef Marshall Roth at the Art Cocktail Party and Live Art Auction at Abode Venue. The event was the first of two ArtAID 2013 events that raised over $70,000 for Patton's organization. Photo by Darrin Hackney Photography ArtAID continued from page 14

On Wednesday, Oct. 23 Patton announced on Facebook that he was done at the end of the month. He cited getting older and the stress that comes with the job as reasons. “I’ve given 22 years to the agency and

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community and just need to focus on me now,” Patton said. Patton had just finished his first stint as chairperson of the popular fundraiser ArtAID. This year the event went through a rebirth or sorts, with the absence of the Planet Hair team, which started the event but bowed out earlier in the year. Nevertheless, the event appeared to be a great success. T h e A b o d e Ve n u e w a s standing room only for the Art Cocktail Party and Live Art Auction. Patrons enjoyed the outdoor cigar and food area while taking in a daring show of fire-eaters and other flame jugglers and performers. The Cotillion hosted the DJ Dance Fashion Show and Silent Art Auction for an energetic crowd. Models & Images provided a quality show that people have come to expect from the event. DJ Ravidrums from Los Angeles rounded out the final event. Patton’s resignation came right at press time. More information on his future plans may be forthcoming. l

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - DEC. 22) LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 20) Fun may cost much more than you think Don’t let day-to-day duties get you Your professional ups and downs could this November. But that should not dissuade down, proud Lion. It is easy for you to turn into a roller coaster ride but don’t you from enjoying a well-deserved respite get caught up in details and spin your worry about fallout, proud Ram. It seems and taking some calculated risks to feather wheels, but the world is waiting for your that you have done your homework and your financial bed. But sit on your nest egg next big move. So do not disappoint. have greased the wheels of the corporate cogs. All can go smoothly as long as you don’t push to be Delegate and streamline your processes. Consider, too, and don’t let a bunch of wild birds pull you off. Party the center of attention. Let the other turkeys trot and strut. some time for de-stressing. They say that it is more fun hearty gay Archer, but don’t become the sole party payer. to exercise with a friend, but it depends which exercise. Spread the fun . . . You know what happens to them this month . . . CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20) VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21) Not only will you make a dramatic The holiday season is just around the Expand your horizons this November. Even and distinctive first impression, this corner so prepare by pre-planning your a small trip beyond your usual borders or impression will have long-term impact social calendar. Fill it up with fun events a break from your usual routine will have on your goals and plans. So take any and creative pastimes. And who knows? a dramatic impact on your entire global meeting or interview this month very There may be more than just a turkey outlook. So take a walk and graze in new pastures, queer Bull. See what the world has to offer you. trotting into your sight line. You have never looked so seriously, no matter how informal it is. Pink Caps are But be aware of hidden obstacles that can thwart your delicious. Romance is in the air, queer Virgo. And it is usually buttoned up and presentable, but now the stakes are high and the rewards are great. How high is up? goals. Keep your eyes open and pack the cranberry sauce. not just the smell of freshly baked pies. You decide. LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 19) Your home will be a beehive of activity Try not to confuse a platonic relationship There is something going on behind the this November. Proud Libras can buzz with a passionate one this November, pink scenes that will surprise and transform through any detailed arrangements and Twin. It could create an uncomfortable you. Aqueerians with a sense of adventure s i t u a t i o n o r c h a n g e t h e d y n a m i c s plans with ease . . . as long as they remain flexible and dramatically. Of course, you may want that open to suggestion. This is important as relationships will find this November to be a fascinating journey of self to happen. If so, expect some unexpected repercussions can hit a snag unexpectedly. Are partners getting the discovery. Secret guardian angels help you along. But and a transformative change in certain friendships. Change attention they deserve (or think they deserve)? Your just how much of yourself do you really want to share with the world? Draw your boundaries and save a little charm makes them think so. is good. Isn’t it? zetz for later this year. SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22) CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23) PISCES (FEB. 20 - MAR. 20) Queer Scorps are especially persuasive The demands of your career could impact Explore new watering holes this November, this November. So use your glib gift of and stress a valued personal relationship Guppie. Friends and acquaintances will gab to get some long stagnant projects this November. Gay Crabs will have to prove to be very important to you. Not off the ground and launched into the decide if their ambitions are worth the risk only can they help you modify or totally stratosphere. Some ideas may be of increased stress at home. If so, make your move and bear the consequences. If ambitious but anything is possible now, especially if change your fiscal strategy, they can be good advisors not, see what you can do to balance your life’s projects. you can get partners to help. While this is a tall order, in your love life. The challenge is to know which friend When in doubt, see if you can get what you want by it is not impossible. Try asking nicely. When in doubt, is offering the best advice for which subject. No, money cannot buy love. try bribery. charm alone. (c) 2013 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Lichtenstein’s blog www.thestarryeye.typepad.com covers everything new age. Her astrology book HerScopes: A Guide to Astrology For Lesbians is the best in tongue-in-cheek astrology. Order now at tinyurl.com/Herscopes.


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LIBERTY PRESS - WE WERE GAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

American nostalgia plus Shakespeare equals a hilarious romp

WICHITA - Wichita Center for the Arts Theatre is proud to present Two Gentlemen of Verona: The College Years, a musical comedy adapted from the classic play by William Shakespeare. Performances begin at 8pm Nov. 20-23 and 2pm Nov. 24 at Wichita Center for the Arts, 9112 E. Central. The script was freely adapted from Shakespeare by Wichita dramatist Dr. Phil Speary. The score of 12 pop rock tunes and ballads has lyrics by Speary working with local composer Gary Ewing, founder of the band The Mudbugs. The original story of two wealthy merchant sons seeking their fortune in Renaissance

Italy is transferred to a rural Oklahoma in the 1960s. The two young gentlemen become innocent farm boys leaving home to try their luck at a small private college in Ohio. The boys pledge a fraternity, fall for the same campus sweetheart, have run-ins with a very shorttempered dean, and find that friendship is thicker than water. Set to a high-energy rock ‘n’ roll beat, this nostalgic and hilarious romp combines the storytelling prowess of the Bard with Animal House-style hi-jinks and original music that harkens to a time when Buddy Holly and Elvis Presley were all the rage. “This early Shakespearian

comedy was written to provide audiences in Shakespeare’s day with a rollicking good time,” said Dr. Phil Speary, director of Two Gentlemen. “We’ve added contemporary elements and music, so modern audiences will love it, too.” Two Gentlemen of Verona: The College Years features a large cast of singers, actors and dancers, including John Keckeisen, Michael Criss, Matt May, Kevin Sowers, Jennie Hughes, Elizabeth Anderson, Molly Tully, Randy Ervin, Diane Tinker Hurst, Jason Kraus, Lyle Valentine, Don Wineke, Beth Wise, Terri Ingram, Daniel Wilson, Kenneth Mitchell, Casey Eubank, Anna Kraus, Rebekah

NOVEMBER 2013

Dr. Speary

Valentine and Susan Guntly. This adaptation has been produced locally almost seven years ago to great popular success winning the Mary Jane Teall award for Outstanding Musical. Guests are invited to attend a wine and cheese reception at 7pm on opening night (Nov. 20), free with admission to the play. Reserved seating tickets are $25 for adults, $20 for seniors and $15 for students. Order tickets by calling (316) 315-0151. l


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NOVEMBER 2013


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