Partnering with Your College Student

PARENT AND FAMILY CONNECTIONS

PARTNERING

WITH YOUR COLLEGE STUDENT

Successfully parenting a college student requires effectively listening, praying, and encouraging your student's resiliency.

Successfully encouraging your student’s resiliency — the capacity to quickly recover from a challenge or difficulty — requires effectively listening and then partnering with them in prayer.

We are not suggesting that dropping off your student at college means that you are no longer connected to them. Quite the contrary is true. You continue to work, guide, lead, and pray for their success as they aim for their highest calling in Jesus Christ. In that way, we encourage you to continue the process of releasing responsibility for the outcomes in your student’s life to them and to others. Allow us to suggest two essential ways to release your student:

1. Release your student to the Lord

As your student leaves home, there is a natural tendency to want to take control. We call it “staying invested” to rationalize our talk and behavior, but in truth, making decisions for them falsely soothes our own concerns that they are ready for this new chapter and that they will be okay. If you have been praying for the adult that God has designed your student to become, then this is the season of their life that you have been waiting to see. The Lord knows all the details in their lives, all the ways in which they will grow to love Him more, and you can trust Him to complete what He has started in them.

2. Release your student to Liberty University

We know that you care about your student, and so do we. Liberty has plans, services, resources, and support for your student. In addition to faculty who will pray with and for your student, Liberty is staffed by compassionate professionals in a variety of departments. The following list shows only nine of the many departments available to assist your student’s spiritual, physical, mental, and social well-being. ► The CARE Team — Promotes the health and safety of the student body through threat assessment and case management services, and provides access to available supportive resources on and off campus

► CASAS Advising Success — Helps students find answers and solve problems by connecting them to appropriate university resources

► LU Shepherd — Fosters spiritual growth and community though the ministry of pastors, resident shepherds, and community group leaders

► Office of Community Life — Helps students live in community through the process of conflict resolution, restorative practices, student discipline, and student development

► Office of Disability Accommodation

Support — Arranges reasonable accommodations and program access to students with documented disabilities and temporary medical conditions

► Office of Equity & Compliance — Ensures there are safe learning, living, and working environments for all members of our campus community

► Office of Residence Life — Provides daily guidance and assistance to students in residence halls through strategically positioned resident directors (RDs) and resident assistants (RAs)

► Office of Student Life — Serves commuter students by connecting them to one another and university resources

► Student Counseling Services — Provides free, confidential, professional counseling services for residential students

WHEN THEY COME HOME

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” – Romans 15:13

There are several things you can do to be supportive of how much your child has grown up while they have been away and be able to connect in new ways during the coming breaks. If you aren’t sure where to start, here are a few encouragements that may help you.

Acknowledge the real possibility that being in each other’s space again may feel a little bumpy.

This discomfort has a lot to do with expectations — both yours and theirs. Don’t fall back into the “old” routine of making all the plans and then delivering the agenda as an expectation. Open it up for their input.

No matter which holiday or season it is, family traditions and a multitude of other activities may be on their list of things to do before getting back to campus for the next semester. "Things" may involve satisfying a CSER project over break, working a job in order to help with the cost of college, or sleeping to catch up on the sleep they lost at school.

Ask them what they want to accomplish while they are home, and then follow it up by asking how you can best help them do it.

Be mindful of their growing autonomy.

Your student has been making all sorts of decisions every day without your input, and they have survived. During the same time, you have also experienced autonomy by creating a routine that doesn’t include them. It isn’t “either/or.” It’s actually a “both/and.”

Consider that you both could benefit from a bit of space (call it grace) as you all acclimate to being in each other’s space again.

Celebrate.

The child that you sent to college is walking through your door with thousands of decisions they made this semester. They have studied God’s Word, been exposed to its truth, prayed through numerous situations, and jumped into a variety of challenges. You have an opportunity to celebrate all that they are in the Lord, and any and everything they have learned along the way. It may be a time for you also to share what you’ve learned while they have been away.

We shouldn’t ever be too old to learn and grow in our personal walk with Jesus.

Rejoice, and remember your spiritual armor.

For our first-time college students, the first semester is particularly difficult. So if the grades you hoped that your student would receive are not the ones that you see, still find ways to rejoice. Rejoice in everything and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Joy and praise are interwoven throughout your spiritual armor! Without them in place, this season for your family is ripe with opportunities for the devil to poke and prod at your family’s dynamics.

Take stock of your armor (Ephesians 6)! Any chinks in it could be the first aim that the devil takes to use as a wedge in your family’s relationships.

And again, I say rejoice.

“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” – Philippians 4:4-9

__ WE'RE HERE FOR YOU

College Parenting Webpage

Life as a college parent can be a season of personal and spiritual growth. Our College Parenting resources will help you equip and guide your student though your family's journey together.

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Praying for Your Student

Pray with your student through the highs and lows of each semester.

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For more information, reach out or visit our webpages  (434) 582-2339 |  Liberty.edu/Family  LUFamily@liberty.edu | FACEBOOK/LibertyUFamily

Social Media Etiquette: Follow Parent and Family Connections on Facebook /LibertyUFamily for alerts, encouragement, and prayer notes. No student information is to be shared through Facebook. Keep in mind that there are various social media groups that identify as Liberty or parents of Liberty students. For official answers, contact Liberty University directly. The university’s webpages are designed with information to be readily available anytime you need it. Parent and Family Connections’ “Frequently Asked Questions” is a reliable webpage to begin your search.

Liberty University does not engage in unlawful discrimination or harassment because of race, color, ancestry, religion, age, sex, national origin, pregnancy or childbirth, disability, or military veteran status in its educational programs and activities. Liberty University maintains its Christian mission and reserves its right to discriminate on the basis of religion to the extent that applicable law respects its right to act in furtherance of its religious objectives. The following persons have been designated to coordinate Liberty University’s compliance with certain antidiscrimination laws: Director of Disability Accommodation Support (Residential) at (434) 592-4016 or ODAS@Liberty.edu; Director of Disability Accommodations Support (Online) at (434) 592-4016 or LUOODAS@liberty.edu; Associate Vice President of Equity and Compliance / Title IX Coordinator at (434) 592-4999 or OEC@Liberty.edu.