photography James Andrews
As We Are Away Guide
Dear friends,
Welcome to As We Are Away We are glad you came to become a part of this Mini Festival created initiated by nous magazine in collaboration with these wonderful Mancunian creatives.
We got the idea for As We Are Away after we successfully launched the first issue of nous magazine in May 2013. As you might already know, nous magazine is featuring words and visuals orbiting mental illness and depression. The intention of our publication is to promote the conversation about these topics in a light and emotional way. We found a great range of content and interest on the theme of depression floating around online and wanted to create some tool to bundle this creative energy for you - the audience - to discover and explore.
But we did not want to stop with the printed magazine. With As We Are Away we found a way to bring the message of nous magazine into the real world.
We invited our friends to help us create this Mini Festival in Manchester and celebrate our friendship and promote open-mindedness and courage to talk about depression and mental illness. We hope you will enjoy the festivities and take a bundle of good emotions with you from our events.
Keep your eyes peeled for the soon to be launched second issue of nous magazine which will be distributed for free in selected bars and cafès round Manchester.
Take care you lovely people!
Find Out What’s On
Find out what’s on
As We Are Away Mini Festival
Meet our poet friends performing their words live at lovely Icelandic café Takk in the Northern Quarter.
Steph Pike, Chris Matthews, Jake Duff and Zach Roddis put together a selection of their poetry and short stories for you.
Prepare yourself for more or less than an hour of bittersweet spoken word with an equally bitter cup of coffee and sugary cinnamon buns in a truely Scandinavian atmosphere.
As We Are Away Guide
For this musical excouse to experimental, electronic realms nous magazine and Big Hands invited Manchester based artists Bernard+Edith whose work is touching the topic of depression and disorder.
Join us for a Sunday movie night with complimentary popcorn and rum at Joshua Brooks mystic cellars. Cultivate Film selected two indie films orbiting mental illness and disconnection.
Supported by extravagant Die Hexen and the duett Veladrome they will create a night of exploration, memory and utopia for you to dive in.
Leave your thoughts and troubles at home but don’t forget to bring your heart.
Come join us for the French documentary La Moindre Des Choses by Nicolas Philibert and Idioterna by Danish director Lars von Trier.
Mo by Angus Stewart
photography Liam Brown
As We Are Away Guide
Mo
by Angus Stewart On the day of the rehearsal of his wife’s little brother’s wedding, Mo had to get away. There was a smoky barbecue in the back garden and drink going round, and dancing music and shouting, and it was all too much for him. He slipped out the house and wandered along the driveway up a dirt road, over a bridge straddling a weedy burn and up the hill through fields to the old windblasted war monument which watched over the valley and its village.
There was a bench by the monument, on which Mo parked himself to dream up escape plans. A mad dash downhill to the car, and then a long drive to London. Or maybe all the way back to Bangalore? It could be done. There was the in-laws’ house, sat off-centre right of the old farm. (Mo could see his relatives as little dots, dashing and dancing and chatting silently.) There was his wife’s car. The hole in the plan, of course, was that it was selfish.
There was always the flight over the rim of the valley and on to towns beyond, to hunt a bus. Wild and dangerous, and worse, selfish. Leaving the party was always selfish. Mo began trying instead to picture himself returning nonchalantly to his in-laws’ back garden, smiling and taking a burger as if he’d hardly left. He couldn’t do it. In every vision he was greeted with stares and whispers and the picture collapsed.
He pushed at his hair- limp like a boy’s- and scowled, squeezing a few crawling droplets out of each eye. Mo had grown up with these little tears. They appeared from nowhere in all kinds of strange places. On passing a tall stranger on a lonely street. In a deli, slipping up on his English ordering a sandwich. Taking a telling-off from the boss. Trying to keep up conversation with a friend he knew he was losing. It never felt like crying. It was just his body trying to cry, he supposed. He squinted. Someone was climbing the hill. It was his little niecein-law. Well, not so little any more. Arguably a woman. If he’d had trouble reaching the monument in smart shoes, she was putting him to shame in her bridesmaid’s dress.
Mo by Angus Stewart
“Uncle Mo!” she called. “Yes?” “You are starting to be missed!” “Oh!”
She reached the monument. Rather than stand and wait for him to admit his guilt, she took a seat with him. “It’s a while till anyone else starts looking, so I thought I’d come get you before there’s a fuss. I saw you leaving from the garden, getting smaller on the horizon.”
That piqued her interest. “Familiar to what?”
“There was another party I ran from, ten years ago. It was at work. A couple thought it would be fun to marry at the stock exchange. After two hours I went to one of my hiding places. I, uh, I have a few, you see. Something I’ve kept up since school. That day I was on the roof. I was sitting in my suit on the concrete with some lemonade. I was angry with myself. Suddenly the door to the roof I’d come through opened, and the bride stepped out. She sat down next to me and lit up a cigarette. She was annoyed and alone too, she said, because she didn’t drink and wanted a smoke and couldn’t. She talked me into going back down in the end.”
You’re looking at the sky, but you aren’t seeing most of it.
Mo nodded. “Families always make fuss.” “Yes.” She smiled. “It’s unfortunate. Will you come back now?” Mo set his hands on his knees and leant forward. His scowl unfolded a little. He turned to his niece. “Can I tell you something first? What this reminds me of? This situation is very familiar.”
Mo stood up. But his niece stayed seated, plucking at her dress.
As We Are Away Guide
“Hey. Before you go. Maybe I can tell you something useful. That’s okay isn’t it, to give advice to an adult...?”
Mo smiled wanly at that. “I’m sure it is.” He sat back down. “What do you want to say?” “It’s about escaping. You feel like you want to escape a lot of the time, don’t you?” “Yes,” said Mo. Yes.
“Do you read books or watch films? To escape? How do you escape?” “Um. Some action films are good. But mostly I hide.”
“Okay, never mind. Here’s something my photography teacher told me. She said the best place to escape to is the sky.
The exact words were- because they’ve stuck with me
‘It’s another kind of world with its own light and its own rules. It’s always there, for free, anytime.’
That’s the sky. If you look at it more, the world becomes more special. She said ‘see the light’. It’s been two years and I understand light now, just from watching.” Mo scratched his head. “I don’t understand.”
“Well look at the sky now. Can you describe it?” “It’s grey, with clouds.” The girl kept a hold on her patience. “You’re looking at the sky, but you aren’t seeing most of it. Look. Point, and give me your pointing arm.”
Mo by Angus Stewart
Mo obeyed. Pointing his index finger westward, she said, “Do you see the yellow on the fields where the shadows from the clouds stop? That’s the evening light. Evening light is warm. Do you see that cloud? The huge dark one? It’s being blown south, moving fast. The sun is behind it just now, but later it will pop out and light up the whole valley. There’s more if you look. But yeah, that’s the sky.” She let go of his wrist. “Well,” said Mo.
“Mmm,” the girl nodded, “it’s like learning a new language.” Mo was quiet. He thought back to nature shows on TV he’d watched as a boy, where they sped up the film and the sky moved fast. Could it be clouds played strange games in the sky all the time, and people like Mo never noticed? Maybe he’d learn the sky-and-light language, like he’d learned English ... maybe ... clouds drifted south, and Mo watched.
Later his niece stood up, and shook him a little. He nearly, nearly, jumped. “Hey, come on,” she smiled. “Time to go. Follow me.”
She set off, and Mo had no choice but to catch up.
“You’d never realised I don’t suppose,” she said on the way down, “but your in-laws love you. We adore the quiet. Last year Dad said ‘we want him on the team’. He’s an uncle Mo fan.” The little tears formed in the corners of Mo’s eyes, different tears. In an English summer, he felt warm.
As We Are Away Guide
photography Anna Rose Heaton
illustration Cindy Beuhlah
How To Disappear Completely
That man, that’s not me I go, where I please I walk through walls I’m not here This isn’t happening I’m not here Radiohead
Takk Coffeehouse 6 Tariff Street M1 2FF Northern Quarter @takkmcr
BIG HANDS Big Hands Bar 296 Oxford Road M13 9NS Oxford Road BigHandsBar
West Wolf Art, Music, Fashion, Events Bernard+Edith www.edithbernard.tumblr.com www.soundcloud.com/bernard-edith WEST-WOLF
Cultivate Film Club Joshua Brooks 106 Princess Street M1 6NG CultivateFilmArt
www.nous-magazine.de