section 8
Developing self-confidence
3 years
48 meeting
Let’s review:
Once the meeting starts, welcome everyone and ask the participants: • Who can help us remember what we talked about in our last meeting? • Who was able to do the activity at home that we asked you to do at the end of the meeting? How did it go? • Does anyone have questions or concerns after doing the activity?
What are we going to learn?
We are going to learn how to promote the development of social skills and the self-confidence of three-year-old children so they can relate to people both in and out of their home. LET’S TALK ABOUT IT! We are going to look at some pictures, so we can talk about what we all know about this topic.
How many positive words do you think you say to your child compared to negative words? Why do you think it is important to use positive words when you speak to a child?
What new things can a three-year-old do that they couldn’t do as a two-year old? Give an example from your experience. What are some occasions when a small child especially needs to receive tenderness and understanding?
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Activity:
“Things I can do” We’ll learn some activities that we can do to help develop children’s confidence in themselves.
What we’ll need: • Music • Shoes • Index cards
WHAT WE’LL DO: • Ask one of the mothers to describe what their child is like now that they are three years old. What things do they do now that they didn’t do when they were two? • The facilitator should explain the importance of developing activities with a child that will help them extend their ability to do things on their own. • Invite the whole group to develop a few activities with the children who are present: • Tag: Let’s play that a child catches us and then we catch them. • March: We’ll imitate a policeman that marches first very fast and then very slow. March forward and then backwards. • The Zoo: Let’s pretend we’ve all become animals – a very tall giraffe by walking on your tiptoes, a bunny that jumps around, an ant that crawls around, a snake that slides on the floor. • Shoes: We’ll have a competition of putting on and taking off our shoes, the person that takes them on a puts them back on first wins. • At the end of the meeting organize the group into pairs and ask each pair to write other creative activities that they could play with their three-year-olds on index cards. Other Suggestions: • If there is time, ask each pair to decorate their cards and then place them around their house.
Summing Up:
What did we learn today? Now, we’ll review what we discussed today. • How do you feel after this meeting? Why? • What are the two most important things you’ve learned today? • What will you do differently based on what you learned during the meeting? • What did you like the most? Are there things you didn’t like? • Do you have any remaining concerns or questions about what we talked about? To finish, what would you recommend to improve today’s meeting when we do it again with another group. (Explain that answering this question will help the meeting be even better in the future for parents with small children.)
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To do at home:
Tell the pairs to take their index cards of games and visit a neighbor with a three-year-old child. Share with them how to develop some activities with their child.
Basic information for the facilitator: Learning more about developing self-confidence: 1- Self- Confidence: We have already learned that this is the age in which children begin to
construct a sense of SELF, which they will use their entire lives. Life holds many obstacles so it is essential for a child to learn to trust in themselves in order to face these challenges. We need to support children’s identity, autonomy and independence so they gain this self-confidence.
2- Identity: We’ve seen that applying the 3A’s will help children acquire a better sense of personal
security. It is also important to stress that they should see themselves as unique, perfect, beautiful, valued and irreplaceable. For us as parents, our children should be the most beautiful thing in the world. Later in life, such as adolescence, children will see and learn from their mistakes, and that there are many others in the world, but the image their parents constructed of themselves will always be with them. NEVER: Label or criticize a child, or mock what they do or the mistakes they make, making them feel unworthy. We should never allow words from our mouths that aren’t full of praise or value for our child.
3- Autonomy: In order to reinforce a child’s self-confidence we should make sure they are doing
things for themselves, such as eating, bathing and dressing (at this age they still will struggle with their clothes). A child should start helping out with housework in order to practice using their body in many diverse activities, for example; sweeping, cleaning up, washing, painting or fixing something that is broken. These things will all help to establish a great sense that they can do the same things their parents can and will help them feel that they are “big” and have achieved things on their own. Allow them to do the activities that they are interested in, while always making sure they are not hurting themselves.
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4- Independence: At this age when children begin to ask if they can do things on their own, it is recommended that we give them the opportunity while making sure they are safe, so they feel we trust them and know they will do a good job.
NEVER: Talk to a child about our fears or threaten them that something bad will happen if they don’t listen to you. We should support their attempts at independence but always explain ways they should be careful when they do something, but never as a threat. For example: “If you climb that tree you are going to fall,” “Don’t do that, you’re going to get hurt.” “If you jump you’re going to fall.” In these examples we are speaking out from our own fears that a child will get hurt. Instead we should talk to a child about how to be careful, helping them, accompanying them, but not limiting them. Fear paralyzes us, and even if it’s unintentional, it paralyzes our children with fear, even when it isn’t their own fear. Parents should want their children to succeed; children need to be able to explore new things – always observing safety rules but without fear. By giving them a sense of independence, children will feel sure of themselves as they move and act on their own, and we’ll be helping them create a healthier personality with great self-confidence.
Facilitator’s Manual