Life After 50 May 2016

LOS ANGELES METRO MAY 2016

lifeafter50.com

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CELEBRATING

WOMEN THE SOUND OF MUSIC’S

KYM KARATH TAP INTO YOUR

TRANSFORMATIVE

POWER

Julianne

Moore

Sharing thoughts on her new film “Maggie’s Plan”

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Contents Reuters / The Interview People

10

May 2016

14

22

24

Cover Profile

Departments

10 Julianne Moore

6 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

The actress on her soon-to-be-released film, “Maggie’s Plan.”

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of.

Features

The best in May television viewing.

14 Tap Into Your Transformative Power Action steps that will help you enjoy a happier and healthier life.

18 Detoxing Your Past Transforming your life from self-sabotage to shining success.

22 The Hallowed Hall Of Must-Knowtables – Mama Cass Elliot Legendary notables that everyone, of every age, should know.

24 The Look Of Life After 50 – Kym Karath The youngest von Trapp on the challenges of mothering a special needs child.

28 Tuned In To What’s On

30 Let’s Get Out

Looking to get out and about? Our May/June calendar has some great suggestions.

34 Rick Steves’ Travels

Visiting Luzern for a delightful Swiss mix of urban delights.

38 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

A book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

Cover Photo: REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni – The Interview People All material published within this issue of Life After 50 and on www.lifeafte50.com is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. No individual, advice, product or service is in any way endorsed by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. or provided as a substitute for the reader’s seeking of individualized professional advice or instruction. Readers should seek the advice of qualified professionals on any matter regarding an individual, advice, recommendations, services or products covered within this issue. All information and material is provided to readers with the understanding that it comes from various sources from which there is no warranty or responsibility by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. as to its or their legality, completeness or technical accuracy.

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Editor’s Note...

Sharing Family Memories With Everyone’s Little Sister

T

his month, as we celebrate Mother’s Day, I, like so many, find myself reflecting on my long-gone mother and grandmother. Because my mother had a demanding job, I spent a lot of time during my formative years with my grandmother. Of all the vivid memories I have of her, one stands out the most: Her love for the film “The Sound of Music.”

I remember her taking my younger brother and me to see the classic musical for the first time, when I was eight. Even before that iconic opening scene of Julie Andrews as Maria singing amidst the Alps, I was fairly knowledgeable of the real-life von Trapp family the film was based on. Having been fascinated by the DACH region of the world since she was a little girl, my grandmother was enamored of the von Trapps’ story, and it inspired her to journey to Salzburg, Austria and learn all she could about the family. While there, she bought a copy of Maria Augusta von Trapp’s book, “The Story of the Trapp Family Singers” (J. B. Lippincott Company, 1949) and, in 1964, knowing the film version was due to be released in March of 1965, passed that book on to me to read during the summer.

I loved the book, and the film, and, like so many, felt a kinship with the von Trapp kids – almost as if I were the family’s eighth sibling (although the “play clothes” would have been an issue with me).

In the early 2000s, I did an interview with Charmian Carr, who played Liesl in the film, and, have since had the opportunity to meet the other six actors who portrayed the von Trapp children – Nicholas Hammond, Heather Menzies, Duane Chase, Angela Cartwright, Debbie Turner and Kym Karath.

In my office, I have a photograph of me with all seven of them. Once, I had someone look at that photo and, not recognizing the actors as adults, ask me if they were my brothers and sisters. I laughed when that question was posed to me, and did so again when I recently interviewed Kym Karath, who played Gretl in the film, for this issue, and told her that story.

“I think that photo exemplifies what so many feel about ‘The Sound of Music,’” I told Karath. “That over the past 50 years, so many kids grew up with Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl, that, in a way, they have become a part of our family – that Gretl has become everyone’s little sister.”

She laughed and agreed with my premise, which led her to sharing thoughts of her real family – memories of her mother and the pride and challenges she faces as the mother of a special needs child.

It may sound odd, but as I said goodbye to Karath and drove away from her home, I had an overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t just bidding adieu to an interviewee, but to my little sister.

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor-in-Chief David Laurell Associate Editors Steve Stoliar Claire Yezbak Fadden Art Director Michael Kraxenberger Editorial Assistant Max Andrews Controller Kacie Cobian Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Linda Lam Billing Supervisor David Garcia VP Of Operations David Comden

To contact our editorial department: (818) 563-1007 davidl@LifeAfter50.com

Account Executives: San Diego County/Orange County Phil Mendelson Phil@LifeAfter50.com Orange County Mary Westphalen Mary@LifeAfter50.com Travel/Los Angeles James Thomopoulos James@LifeAfter50.com For advertising/distribution inquiries contact: Valarie Anderson (310) 822-1629 x 121, Valarie@LifeAfter50.com 5301 Beethoven St., Suite 183 LA CA 90066 Valarie Anderson Valarie@LifeAfter50.com 310 822-1629 x 121 Follow us on facebook @Life_After50

©2016 Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved

A May Thought

“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story.

Because hers is where yours begin.” ― Mitch Albom

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May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 5

50

Strike A Heart-Healthy Pose

I

Plus

What You Need To Know

By Claire Yezbak Fadden and Max Andrews

f you prefer holding a warrior one stance to being a weekend workout warrior or are more likely to practice a downward-facing dog than to take part in an uphill hike, you know yoga can be beneficial to your health and mental state. According to a study published in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, “There is promising evidence of yoga on improving cardio-metabolic health.” The research revealed how yoga significantly reduced risk factors such as high body-mass index, blood pressure and LDL cholesterol levels. The results were comparable to exercises such as biking or walking. So keep on posing, for your heart’s sake!

The Joys And Science Of Grandmothering

U

sing her “60 Minutes” skills, broadcast journalist Lesley Stahl explores how grandmothering changes a woman’s life in her new book, “Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting” (Blue Rider Press, 2016). Along with personal accounts from Whoopi Goldberg and Diane Sawyer, Stahl speaks with scientists and doctors about physiological changes that occur in women when they have grandchildren. Stahl also discusses the therapeutic effects of the relationship between grandchildren and their grandmothers with anthropologists and psychiatrists. Throughout the book, she shares stories about her own life with granddaughters, Jordan and Chloe, and how her relationship with her daughter, Taylor, has changed since Taylor became a mother.

Fifty Candles

F

ifty years ago this month, The Beatles performed their last British concert, “Monday, Monday” by The Mamas and the Papas reached number one, Mel Ott’s home run record was broken when Willie Mays hit his 512th home run, some 5,000 anti-war protestors demonstrated at the White House before rallying at the Washington Monument, the final episode of “Perry Mason” starring Raymond Burr aired on CBS, and, after a statement by U.S. Secretary of State Dean Rusk, Cuba’s Prime Minister Fidel Castro told his citizens to prepare for an attack from the United States. Notable personalities born in May 1966 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include singers Janet Jackson, Johnny Gill and Johnny Diesel, novelist Jodi Picoult, actresses Mindy Cohn, Lisa Edelstein and Helena Bonham Carter and actors Stephen Baldwin and Charlie Schlatter.

6 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Promoting Peaceful Parenting

T

his month’s celebration of Mother’s Day means many parents will be spending the day with their adult children.

As the parent of a child in their late-20s or 30s, maintaining a peaceful and harmonious relationship can be challenging. According to Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, PhD, a research professor in the department of psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts who co-authored “When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?” (Workman, 2013), much of the angst between parents and adult children stems from the tug-of-war over whose life it is. For loving parents, their grown children’s trials and errors, including failed projects and teary breakups, can be anguishing. It can be wrenching to let go of the old parental desire to try to fix things. Arnett says that along with romantic relationships and childrearing, money issues are the cause of most conflicts between parents and adult children. As for offering advice on any subject, Arnett recommends that parents refrain from asking probing or personal questions. While the adult child may be in need of advice, he says the best option is for parents to bite their tongues and not offer advice unless it has been requested. Doing so might harm the relationship and there is a good chance it won’t be heeded anyway. For more information on Arnett’s research, click on www.JeffreyArnett.com.

A Little More You Need To Know

Where You Need To Go See The Sea’s Horses And Dragons

W

hile Pegasus may be a mythical creature, real winged-horses do exist in the ocean. Starting on May 27, you can explore the mysterious realm of these little dragon-like winged-horses that dwell under the sea through new exhibits at the Aquarium of the Pacific. Featuring about a dozen species of seahorses, sea dragons and their relatives, the exhibit Horses and Dragons will showcase the wonder and diversity of these amazing creatures.

Learn that male sea dragons carry eggs until they hatch, and that seahorses can change color. See and learn more about the unusual animals in the Syngnathid group, which includes the sea moth (also known as Pegasus), seahorses, sea dragons, pipefish and razorfish through exhibit displays, a film, and education programs in the Marine Life Theater. “Syngnathids have existed on the planet for about 50 million years, but face many environmental threats today,” says Dr. Sandy Trautwein, the aquarium’s curator of fish and invertebrates. “It is our hope that people will walk away from this exhibition in awe of these beautiful animals and wanting to learn more about what they can do to help.” The exhibition will run through March 31, 2017.

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month

Side-Stepping Social Security Scams

P

eople need to be extra cautious if they receive an e-mail that appears to be from the Social Security Administration (SSA). Not only are fraudulent e-mails with malicious links offering “New Features” to monitor finances floating around, they are also urging people to create a “My Social Security” account.

If you receive an e-mail seemingly from the SSA be aware: • Legitimate e-mails from Social Security will come from a “.gov” address. If the e-mail doesn’t end in “.gov,” do not click on any link or respond. To check that any link included in an e-mail is directing you to a “.gov” address, hover your mouse over the link until a text box appears with the web address.

• Look for poor choices in wording or spelling.

• Should the e-mail include a business name, telephone number, or web link, verify them by searching for the official number or website in a search engine.

• If uncertain whether the e-mail actually came from SSA or any of their marketing firms, do not respond to the e-mail but rather, go directly to the official Social Security website.

• If you do receive a fraudulent SSA e-mail, report the incident immediately by forwarding the e-mail to the U.S. Computer Emergency Readiness Team at www.phishingreport@us-cert.gov.

The Aquarium of the Pacific is located at 100 Aquarium Way in Long Beach. For more information, call (562) 590-3100 or click on www.aquariumofpacific.org.

New Words You might not find all of these words in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean.

Sus: Suspicion about a situation. Being suspicious as to why someone did or didn’t do something is “sus.”

Beerboarding: Extracting a secret or information from someone by getting them drunk.

Microaggression: Subtle verbal and nonverbal comments or actions intended to marginalize or reinforce a stereotype.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7

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Every hero has a story. With tremendous pride, Belmont Village celebrates the service and sacrifice of our resident veterans through American Heroes galleries nationwide. Featuring stunning portraiture and gripping narrative, the galleries depict the unique wartime experiences that forever solidified Belmont Village veterans as heroes of their generation.

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May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 9 3/30/16 6:46 PM

Cover Profile

Julianne

Moore

By Jenny Davis / The Interview People

10 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Ullstein / The Interview People

The Academy Awardwinning actress on her soon-to-be-released film, “Maggie’s Plan”

Ullstein / The Interview People

A

cademy Award-winning actress Julianne Moore was looking stunning in a black lace dress at a recent film festival, where her latest feature, “Maggie’s Plan,” was in competition. The romantic comedy, directed by Rebecca Miller, revolves around a young women, played by Greta Gerwig, who begins a relationship with a married man, played by Ethan Hawke, who splits with his wife, Georgette, played

by Moore.

“I loved Georgette,” says Moore. “I mean, I loved her on the page and I loved how Rebecca and I were able to create her together and speak about her. I loved her.”

“Maggie’s Plan” deals with issues surrounding the relationship and break-up of a marriage, a topic Moore says she discussed at length with Miller.

“We talked a lot about marriage and what happens in a marriage, the ups and downs of it,” she says. “I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, Rebecca has, I think, as well. And I had recently had a conversation with someone who had been divorced and said if she had to do it all over again she wouldn’t do it, it was just too hard.”

With “Maggie’s Plan” set to be released this month, Moore recently took some time to share her thoughts about her latest film and character.

Jenny Davis (JD): What was there about the character of Georgette that attracted you to taking the role?

Julianne Moore (JM): I had recently had a conversation with someone who had been divorced. She left her husband for another man and it was a mess and she goes: “If I could turn around and do it again I would have just stayed with him.” And I thought it was interesting. She was very honest about it because she said it was so complicated, that idea that every relationship has its peaks and valleys and that notion that sometimes things are more complicated than they seem. Georgette also appears to be one thing, appears to be, you know, a monster, [but] just turns out to be kind of a very funny interesting person who is trying to have a job, take care of her kids, and it feels like she made mistakes and stuff. So I like the idea that Rebecca presented, that you can look at a situation and it is not what you think. You know, that you have to go that much deeper in order to understand.

JD: What role does control play in her emotional life?

JM: She’s not very controlled, Georgette. [laughs] She’s not controlled at all. I think what I liked about Georgette is that her id is like right there. I mean [she’s got] a sense of her own emotional life. I mean, in a sense that’s what she says to John later: “Well I’m sorry, I just completely railroaded you, I was only thinking about myself.” [laughs] I loved that about her!

JD: What is her understanding of happiness?

JM: Oh what’s anybody’s understanding of happiness? I don’t know, I think she’s someone who really seeks intellectual stimulation. You know [she is] part of the intelligentsia. She’s an academic. She lives in the world of her

mind but she’s also in love with her husband, in love with her children, and the two aren’t mutually exclusive. That’s the other quality about her that I love.

JD: What has been the most satisfying thing about having been associated with this film?

JM: Oh I think working with these guys. I mean honestly it was such a pleasurable experience. They were such wonderful characters and it was a great story and great people to be with every day. Greta [remembered] one day when Ethan looked up and looked around and realized that he was the only guy in the room. Damon [Cardasis] must not have been there that day. It was a very female heavy set with some really, really great women, so it was awesome to come to work every day and have that experience. Rebecca is so decisive. She’s so smart and incisive about things, but then also decisive when she’d be like: “Great, okay, I’ve got it.” There was so much forward momentum working with her.

It was wonderful.

JD: You have been friends with ethan Hawke for many years and yet, this is the first time you two have worked together. How was it?

JM: Sexy! [laughs] Ethan’s great. We had kids in the same school for a really long time and it was actually a pleasure to get to work with him. I have known him, I mean gosh, for years and years, and I was just saying about Ethan the other day that he is one of these people, the longer you know [him] and the more you watch [him], the more you love [him]. He’s May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11

Reuters / The Interview People

just a really incredible human being and a wonderful actor. So it was a pleasure to finally get to work with him.

JD: In this film, did you ever feel like the “other woman?”

JM: [laughs] Yeah! You know, but it was cool! What was interesting [was] that Rebecca wrote [and] Greta and I kind of elaborated. Georgette responds to Maggie so positively because she’s been so great with her children. So they have to form an alliance. She’s like: “Urgh.” But then, and I hear this a lot from people, they’re like: “You know what, my husband’s new wife is great with the kids,” and so they form this relationship. So yeah, I think Georgette does feel like the other woman [but] I was interested to explore a relationship that was positive in a situation like this.

JD: Is there a film genre you are most comfortable with?

JM: No. I did enjoy doing comedy. I really enjoy doing it. It’s nice to cry comedically and not tragically.

JD: One last question: Did you find Georgette difficult to portray?

JM: Oh wow, every character has its own challenges, you know. You’re always trying to figure out where the truth is for them – how do you bring them to life.

With comedy you’re always dealing with issues of tone, and that’s fun. I mean I thought that was really, really fun. The scene that Rebecca wrote that I think is so wonderful, that first academic scene, where Ethan and I are having a marital

12 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

argument in academic language, was probably the most challenging for me because [it’s] an academic argument and there’s a marital argument and we had to make them both work. And the language was challenging, but it was thrilling and fun to do.

“Maggie’s Plan” is a romantic comedy film directed and written by Rebecca Miller, based on the original story by Karen Rinaldi. The film stars Greta Gerwig, Ethan Hawke, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Travis Fimmel, Wallace Shawn, Ida Rohatyn, Monte Greene and Julianne Moore. The film had its world premiere at the 2015 Toronto International Film Festival in September of 2015 and is scheduled to be released on May 20, 2016, by Sony Pictures Classics.

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California optometrists, Dr. Richard Shuldiner and Dr. Harold Ashcraft are using miniaturized telescopes which are mounted in glasses to help Patient using telescopic glasses people who have lost vision to drive and read signs. from macular degeneration functioning” says Dr. Ashcraft, and other eye conditions. a low vision optometrist in Los “Some of my patients Angeles. Even if it’s driving. consider me the last stop for “The major benefit of bioptic people who have vision loss” telescope low vision glasses is said Dr. Shuldiner “most magnifying road signs, traffic people don’t know that there lights and other distance objects are low vision optometrists necessary for safe driving”. who have extensive experience Dr’s Ashcraft and Shuldiner in helping those with vision are members of The International loss.We help people with Academy of Low Vision macular degeneration, diabetic Specialists (www.IALVS.com) retinopathy, RP and other eye and have extensive experience diseases regain function and in working with the visually independence.” impaired.

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Tap Into Your Transformative

Power

Action steps that will help you enjoy a happier AND heatlhier life

By Betsy mendel

E

veryone, no matter what their dreams and goals in life may be, shares one desire: To be the best they can be. We all want to do everything we can to improve our lives – physically, mentally and spiritually.

As the author of the book “Move a Muscle Change a Mood: The transformative power of exercising, eating healthy and thinking positive” (CreateSpace, 2014), and a certified personal trainer, I have been helping my clients look and feel their best for over two decades. My philosophy for helping them is simple: Get up, get out, and get moving.

That’s it. As you engage your mind and body, you will begin to feel better, sleep more soundly, and eat healthier. I guarantee, if you follow the following action steps, you will transform yourself into being a better you in just a short time.

TAKE THE “HAPPY DRUG” Endorphins are the world’s best natural drugs, and my drug of choice. There is nothing like the feeling you get after a good workout.

14 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

When you exercise, your brain releases neurotransmitters that have pain-relieving properties similar to morphine or codeine.

That euphoric feeling has been called “runner’s high,” but you don’t have to run to release endorphins. Any prolonged continuous exercise will do the trick. From vigorous walking or yoga to jogging and hiking and biking, just about anything that gets your heart rate up and produces sweat will do the trick.

As for the old adage: “No pain, no gain.”

Forget about it. That mentality went out with the 1980s and it should not be the way to get the endorphins flying, especially when you are over 50. Vigorously moving and low-impact exercise can provide you with a workout that will bring about the same pleasure or natural high as you get from eating chocolate or having sex. Endorphins have been known to produce euphoric feelings, reduce stress, ward off anxiety and depression, boost self-esteem, increase libido, decrease appetite and improve sleep. So come on! Can it get any better than that?

Action Step: Before your morning coffee, take a brisk 20-minute walk or jog.

Feel the euphoric feeling that your mind and body produce from just moving.

KNOW YOUR BODY No two people are alike and no two bodies are alike. Because of that, it is vitally important that you really get to know your body. We are living in a time of information overload and it seems like every week, there is a new theory on fitness or weight loss.

With massive amounts of information comes massive confusion.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with looking into everything available and having choices, but there never has been and never will be a “magic formula” for getting your body into shape. Shakespeare was right on the mark when he wrote: “To thine own self be true.” There is no one-size-fits-all solution to being the best you can be. But knowledge is power, and I’m all for anything that can help people live a better life. That starts by

Remember, the basic job of food is to nourish us so that we can get through the day’s tasks. It seems that in today’s world, we have forgotten this basic fact. Most of us have a love affair with food. We use food for entertainment and comfort. We eat when we are happy, sad, angry, tired, lonely or bored. Food was never meant for all these purposes.

In this day and age of supersized and processed fast foods, it’s no wonder we are the most obese country in the world and that childhood obesity is on the rise. Fast food is slowly killing us. I hate to label foods as being either “good” or “bad,” but there is so much conflicting information out there, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Inherently, we know what foods are healthy for our bodies and what foods are not simply by the way we feel after we eat them. Do your research, listen to your body and then make the right choices for you.

Action Step: Stock your refrigerator and pantry with healthy foods so that when you are hungry, you can make a smart choice. And don’t ever go to the grocery store hungry.

incorporating a few healthy habits into your daily routine and then listening to your body to figure out what is working best for you. What works for someone else may not work for you, so get in tune with your body and listen to what it is telling you. Our bodies are amazing pieces of machinery, so learn to listen to yours!

Action Step: Write down or text yourself one healthy habit and one unhealthy habit that you have right now. Make it your assignment to start doing more of the healthy habit while working to eliminate the unhealthy one.

ENJOY YOUR FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD We know that proper nutrition makes a huge difference in how we feel. The food choices we make every day can lead to either feeling good or bad. For me, when I eat healthy foods in the proper quantities, I feel great. That’s not to say that once in a while, I don’t get that nagging sweet tooth going. When I do give into it and eat something sugary, I can feel my system rebel. Nine times out of ten, I will get a headache after eating sugar. While I know this, I sometimes still choose to make the wrong choice. But it is a choice, and by knowing my body, I can decide what to eat or what not to eat, knowing the impact it will have on my well-being.

THINK GOOD THOUGHTS It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Think good thoughts. Yet for most people, myself included, this seems like one of the hardest things to accomplish. Take a look at all the self-help books out there and the magazine articles that tell us in order to be happy, we must “think positive.” Well, it’s true! It is human nature to coddle negative thoughts, which is why the self-help business is flourishing and the personal-growth genre is a cornerstone of the publishing industry.

Why do we constantly think worst-case scenarios? Why do we allow our minds to carry us to places that do not benefit us or those around us? It is human nature, and just as we have to combat physical gravity with exercise, the same holds true with mental gravity. We exercise our bodies on a regular basis to keep gravity from making us soft and droopy. We need to do the same for our minds. According to Dr. John J. Ratey: “There is evidence that the brain works just as muscles do – growing with use, withering with inactivity. Exercise actually sparks new brain cell growth. Getting your heart and lungs pumping can mean the difference between a calm, focused mind and a harried, inattentive self.”

Depression, addictions and attention-deficit problems are all on the rise. Depression affects so many people, it is often called the common cold of mental illness. The Centers for Disease Control estimate that 19 million Americans suffer from depression, and so our mental and emotional fitness is just as important as our physical fitness. Physical fitness can have a tremendously positive impact on our emotional health. The evidence for that is clear. It has been proven that aerobic exercise physically

transforms our brains for peak performance.

Exercise increases levels of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. I certainly know that my mood improves immensely when I work out. You will find the same to be true. So instead of thinking of exercise as something that makes you look better, consider it something that will actually make you feel better.

Action Step: Keep a positive affirmation journal. Write down your favorite quotes and what you are grateful for along with any compliments and praise you receive.

If you ever start to feel down, pull out the journal and be reminded of all the things you have to be grateful for. Another way to get the positive energy flowing is through meditation or just talking to a friend.

Remember, you have the power to change your brain and transform your life. You are stronger than your urges to eat another sweet or let your brain talk you out of a workout. So tap into your transformative power, lace up those running shoes, hit the gym, and change your life!

Meet BetSY Betsy Mendel is the author of the bestseller “Move a Muscle Change a Mood: The transformative power of exercising, eating healthy and thinking positive” (CreateSpace, 2014). She is a certified personal trainer who has been helping her clients look and feel their best for over two decades. Her philosophy for fitness is that as people engage their minds and bodies, they will feel better, sleep more soundly and eat healthier. Based in Southern California, Mendel offers one-on-one personal training and small group training along with nutritional and dietary advice and guidance. For more information or to schedule a session, click on her website at www. betsysbasictraining. com or call (310) 980-1477.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 15

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your Detoxing

past YOUR

PAST

Transform your life from self-sabotage to shining success

By Maryalice Coleman, Founder of the Women’s Growth Network

A

h spring, the time of year we celebrate the renewal and rebirth of the Earth. It is also a time in which we seem to celebrate the possibility of renewal and rebirth within ourselves as well.

With the all too familiar push from Madison Avenue and the medical industry, we are urged to find that self-renewal by detoxing with dietary cleanses, undergoing skin peels and Botox injections, and engaging in all sorts of exercise programs. While these things can all be helpful in making us feel and look better, in many cases they do nothing to provide the detoxing that may be needed to truly find one’s renewal.

There is one type of detoxifying that is rarely mentioned or addressed; and yet, it is one of the most important to focus on in order to truly live and enjoy a happy, healthy and successful life.

If I were to tell you that nearly two billion people on this planet have been exposed to a toxic substance that penetrates to the core of their very being and that they are living with the pain it creates, would you believe me? The news media is seemingly always on top of stories pertaining to Ebola or the Zika viruses. And yet, they rarely report on the physical and mental destruction that results from childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse.

CONNECTING THE DOTS Even in today’s “anything goes” world, addressing sexual abuse is considered too taboo for many media outlets. But this subject needs to be 18 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

addressed with dignity, compassion, and grace – which can be powerful tools to help eliminate the shame and embarrassment that comes with abuse.

Having been a coach, mentor and workshop leader on this subject for more than 20 years, and the author of the book, “Shatter, Shame and Shine,” (BalboaPress, 2014), I have come to believe that nearly one in three girls in the U.S. is sexually abused, accosted or harassed in one form or another, and that globally, that figure swells when we include boys. And yet, no one wants to really address this issue. Because of that, society keeps the veil of darkness on the subject.

No wonder most people do not seek guidance or help. Many grow up ignoring abuse, pretending it never happened or denying it. But we know the long-lasting effects of doing that never magically disappear. They remain – 24/7 – unless addressed.

Some statics say that one-in-three women and one-in-five men has been affected by childhood sexual abuse. It could have been a one-time thing or continuing abuse over the course of many years, causing a hidden shame to swim within the subconscious of the victim and affecting their entire life.

I have made it my life’s mission to help people connect the dots from their hidden past to their present-day situations and relationships so they can know that abuse of any kind can happen within any family from the rich to those in poverty. This is a very personal matter for me, because I was a victim of repeated childhood sexual abuse. Because of that, I am acutely in tune with the fear, shame and embarrassment that

victims carry with them into adulthood. I, like so many others, once believed if I just pushed it all out of my head and never thought of it again, everything would be fine. I was wrong. That avoidance may work for a while, but not for long.

At one point, my adult life was not going very well. The pain of living had brought me to my knees. I spent a lot of time, effort and money in doing things to help myself learn the connection between the abuse I endured as a child and the lingering pain that was making my life crumble. I had a beautiful family (and still do), a magnificent home, money was flowing like a fountain, and I had no want for “things.” To the outside world, I had everything a person could ever hope for. What I didn’t have was “me.” Coming to terms with that fact put me on trajectory of personal growth and development that will never end.

START THINKING PURPOSEFULLY What I learned is that the hidden shame and humiliation of having been abused are penetrating substances that poison one’s understanding of who we really are. Because these poisoning substances can cause the formation of unique coping mechanisms that become deeply embedded in abuse victims – often at the very moment of the abuse – we ultimately reach a point in which our subconscious is in need of a deep detox.

How do you want to feel? How do you want to be? How do you really want to live? What is your spiritual practice? Do you believe in anything

higher than yourself? If so, how do you connect to your divine source?

I ask people to really think about those questions – to think about them with “purposeful thinking.”

Many people who have experienced childhood abuse live by default, in fear or anxiety, and not on purpose. If one does not know how to truly think purposefully, then one lives a life according to the whims of their emotions or someone else’s desires.

We must understand how the brain and the subconscious work together when childhood trauma has occurred. I am a firm believer that educating ourselves about the function of these combined energies will help untangle the mess that keeps us living in self-sabotaging ways. As for therapy, it is good – very good. It helped me. But it only went so far. I was determined to go further in my healing process, and have come to understand that personal growth and development is a lifelong pursuit.

Shame and humiliation are not words one wants to be associated with. The truth is, though, one will act like a puppet – not in control of one’s own life – unless the strings of shame and humiliation are cut. And so, how does one detox from the deeply embedded poisons of self-sabotage and habitual thought patterns that drain energy and confidence?

BEGINNING THE DETOX The subject of childhood sexual abuse, or any type of abuse, is a big ugly wheel with a lot of complicated spokes. To begin a detox, one must go from the inside to the outside to above and beyond.

What do I mean by that? That one must understand that what goes on in our heads creates our outer lives, which, in turn, puts energy into the possibility of rising above the abuse and embracing a life of transformation that will lead us beyond our self-sabotaging beliefs and into a thriving mindset.

Here are a few steps to begin the process of dismantling the negative power of past trauma or abuse within your psyche.

BECOME AWARE When your intuition is shouting and you are not listening, unsettling things keep happening. One remains a victim. What are your relationships like? Is life easygoing or is it filled with trauma and drama? Do you look at others and wish you had their life or relationship stability? Seek awareness. Take notes on your own behaviors and thought patterns. Do not judge them, just observe them. When awareness occurs, we can then seek information to guide and help us.

AWAKEN As you become more aware, you will see patterns that are self-sabotaging or hurtful to others. It is important to wake up to the fact that this is not a positive way to live. Self-sabotage can cost you loving relationships, friendships, a positive work environment, or even the pursuing of your dreams.

The good news is that no one needs to live with the

effects of hidden shame and inner pain that veil the psyche. Our brains are incredible machines that, properly channeled, can change deep-rooted self-sabotaging belief systems and transform them into healthy and positive habits that lead to the peaceful inner life we desire in order to produce the outer life we dream of living.

TAKE ACTION When we get tired of the inner pain that keeps us from truly living, growing, and transforming, we either hit an emotional bottom or we come pretty close to it. That is when there is only one thing left to do: Take action. For some reason, most humans are hard-pressed to heed wisdom and good advice when they hear it; but the pains of life have a way of making us either wake up and take action or, if we ignore them, keep falling down the rabbit hole of victimization. Action, therefore, is required to take responsibility. We must look for help – for people, books, therapies, workshops – anything that will help lead us back to our true self. This action can bring about selflove, which, in turn, gives us inspiration and motivation to understand that what has happened to us does not define us. Action is what it takes to reveal that the deeply rooted shame and embarrassment we have been harboring can be detoxed out of our psyche. You must take action – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically – to bring about healing.

CREATE PURPOSEFUL THOUGHTS We have upwards of 65,000 thoughts that, every day, bubble up from our subconscious. In many instances, the understanding of our thoughts are unbeknownst to us; and, depending upon the predominant thought patterns we have, we glom onto ones that may make us feel bad without even knowing why. We then blame others or circumstances for our unhappiness and problems, which are, in reality, being fed by our own subconscious. Thinking on purpose is a vitally important skill that needs to be developed. To do that, be mindful throughout each day of your behavior, feelings and thoughts. By doing this, toxins will become exposed. Once you become aware and awake to these inner toxins, the process of changing your thinking begins. It is in our thinking that a new life can then be created. You would be amazed by what purposeful thinking can accomplish. There are newer neuroscience meditations that can help with awareness and thinking patterns. Hypnotherapy may also be helpful, as well as coaching and mentoring.

Detoxifying our subconscious can help us be more content, loving, caring, empathetic and successful human beings. We become more conscientious and aware when the journey of life is greeted with gratitude and growth. When we become more aware and awake to what is holding us back, we can take the proper action to

transform our lives. What is holding you back? If not childhood abuse, then perhaps it is some other toxins that have infiltrated your thought patterns and subconscious belief systems and are stunting your growth and well-being. Remember, every person is meant to have a life in which they can shine. You are meant to shine! So become aware and awake, start thinking purposeful thoughts, take action, and show the world – and more importantly, yourself – just how brightly you can shine!

Meet MARYALICe Maryalice Coleman is the author of “Shatter Shame and Shine,” (BalboaPress, 2014) and the creator of the “Change Your Aim Change Your Life” workshop. An inner-life coach and mentor, her passion, compassion, and effectiveness in helping women around the world to heal their lives and fulfill their dreams, springs from her own recovery from the pain of childhood sexual abuse. In addition to her university degree in applied psychology, Coleman stays current on leading-edge research into neuro-plasticity and the brain’s capacity to outgrow limiting patterns that developed in response to trauma. Through formative experiences, a lifelong pursuit of personal growth and development, and 20 years of facilitating support groups, workshops and mentoring sessions, she has created a process of compassionate, empathetic, and focused coaching.

Her in-depth workshop, known as “The Living Room Effect,” helps educate and inspire women, leading to dynamic, transformational personal growth and development.

For more information on Coleman and her work, click on www.womensgrowthnetwork.com.

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The Hallowed Hall of Must-Knowtables

By Steve Stoliar Illustration by Mark Hammermeister

Mama Cass

Elliot

The name “Cass Elliot” usually triggers two thoughts: That she was the angelically-voiced “Mama” of the legendary 1960s rock group The Mamas and the Papas – and – that she left this world far too early by choking on a ham sandwich. In fact, only the first statement is true – her golden voice did soar above many other female pop singers of the day – while the second statement is patently false, the result of a much-repeated urban myth.

B

orn Ellen Naomi Cohen in Baltimore, Maryland on September 19, 1941, the woman who would go on to become known to the world as “Mama Cass,” was the daughter of a lunch wagon owner and a trained nurse. Her parents, Philip and Bess Cohen, also had a son, Joseph, and a younger daughter, Leah, who, many years later, became a member of the 1980s pop-rock trio, Coyote Sisters.

The Cohens moved to Alexandria, Virginia, where Ellen attended George Washington High School along with another future rock star, Jim Morrison of The Doors. It was while she was in high school that she took on “Cass” as her nickname, most likely inspired by the comedic actress and popular game show panelist Peggy Cass. The name “Elliot” came later, adopted as a tribute to a friend of hers who had died.

While still in high school, Elliot was drawn to acting and appeared in her school’s production of the Sandy Wilson musical, “The Boy Friend.” So dramatically bitten by the acting bug, Elliot dropped out of school before graduation to travel to New York City and follow her performing instincts.

With New York as her base, Elliot toured in a production of “The Music Man” and would often sing during her regular paying gig as a cloakroom attendant in a Greenwich Village club called The Showplace.

The late 1950s and early ‘60s saw the rise of folk singers and, in 1962, Elliot joined up with singing banjo player Tim Rose and another singer, John Brown,

to form a group called The Triumvirate, playing folk music in clubs around Greenwich Village. The following year, Brown was replaced by James Hendricks (no, not that Jimi Hendrix) and the name of the group changed to The Big Three. The group cut a record and released the single, “Winkin’, Blinkin’ and Nod,” through FM records in 1963.

That same year, Elliot married Hendricks, but it was considered a marriage of convenience to help keep him from being drafted during the Vietnam War. Apparently, the marriage was never consummated and they eventually divorced in 1968.

In 1964, The Big Three had become Cass Elliot and the Big Three. Rose went out on his own that same year, so Elliot and Hendricks joined up with two Canadian performers – Zal Yanovsky and Denny Doherty. They called themselves The Mugwumps – and the group lasted all of eight months.

After the breakup of The Mugwumps, Elliot performed as a solo singer, while Yanovsky teamed up with singer/songwriter John Sebastian to form the enormously popular rock group The Lovin’ Spoonful. Doherty joined up with a musical group that called themselves The New Journeymen, which featured singer/songwriter/ guitarist John Phillips and his young wife, singer Michelle Philips.

Doherty told John Phillips that the group would benefit mightily from the addition of his friend and former singing partner, Cass Elliot. At first, John resisted.

An urban myth – perpetuated by Elliot herself – had it that John felt her vocal

This feature is intended for you to clip and give to your children or grandchildren because…they must-know!

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

range was too limited, until, during a trip to the Virgin Islands, she was hit on the head by a heavy piece of copper tubing being used to renovate a nightclub, after which, miraculously, she was able to sing higher. In fact, John’s reluctance to bring her on board was due to his feeling that Elliot – who had a lifelong battle with her weight – didn’t have the “look” to be a part of his cool group.

Eventually, in 1965, he relented.

Since there were now two females in the quartet, The New Journeymen had become an obsolete name. According to Doherty, while searching for a new name, the group was relaxing one night, watching “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.” Carson’s guests that night were members of the Hells Angels biker group. One of them said they called their women “mamas.” Elliot and Michelle immediately said they also wanted to be known as “mamas.” Doherty and John figured that if the women were “mamas,” they might as well be “papas.”

Thus, The Mamas and The Papas were born.

Elliot was considered the most charismatic member of the group, with a terrific sense of humor and a lot of heart. Her powerful, soaring, emotional voice was a major factor in the success and popularity of The Mamas and The Papas.

In 1965, the group auditioned for legendary record producer, Lou Adler, co-owner of Dunhill Records. This led to a recording contract that saw the release of their first album, “If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears,” in December of that year. Their first single, “Go Where You Wanna Go,” met with only modest success, but their second song, “California Dreamin’,” quickly became a Top 40 radio fave, zooming to number four on the U.S. pop charts. The Mamas and The Papas were on their way.

A third single from the album was released in March of 1966, and it became the group’s only number one hit: “Monday, Monday.” That megahit won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with vocals in 1967.

The group released their second album in 1966, entitled “The Mamas and the Papas.” Among its hits were “Words of Love” and “I Saw Her Again” – the latter written by Doherty and John after an affair between Michelle and Doherty the previous year. Michelle and John reconciled, if only temporarily.

The album also generated “Look Through My Window” and “Dedicated to the One I Love,” which hit number two on the U.S. charts in February of 1967.

In June of that year, the group made a memorable appearance at the Monterey International Pop Festival.

In April of 1967, Elliot gave birth to a daughter, Owen Vanessa Elliot, although she never divulged who the child’s father was. Later that year, the group traveled to Europe to perform at the Royal Albert Hall in London and the Olympia in Paris. Unfortunately, when their ship docked in Southampton, Elliot was arrested for having stolen two blankets and two hotel keys during her previous stay in London. In fact, the hotel was more interested in having her pay an outstanding bill. Although Elliot was acquitted, the incident caused significant discontent within the group, the tour dates were cancelled, and the group disbanded – temporarily.

It wasn’t long before the group was back together again, but simmering resentment over the Doherty-Michelle affair led to John, Doherty and Elliot delivering Michelle a letter “firing” her from the group. She was replaced by singer/songwriter Jill Gibson, who had recorded with Jan and Dean.

Elliot left The Mamas and The Papas in 1968 to embark on a solo career, while the reconfigured group limped along, releasing their final album in 1971.

Elliot’s first solo album, 1968’s “Dream a Little Dream Of Me,” didn’t chart that well as an LP, but the single of the same name got a lot of airplay and hit number 12 on the U.S. pop charts. While preparing for her solo debut at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, Elliot went on a six month crash diet, taking her weight down from 300 to 200 pounds. Unfortunately, the diet led to a stomach ulcer and she gained back 50 pounds from drinking milk and heavy cream to soothe the pain.

When opening night came, Elliot was terrified of facing the audience and reportedly took a shot of heroin before going onstage.

Her voice was weak and she was very shaky as she did her best to get through the performance. Reviews were merciless and the show was cancelled after just one performance, which plunged her into a deep depression.

Singer and musician David Crosby, a close friend of Elliot’s, said that in addition to heroin, they also frequently indulged in cocaine, prescription painkillers and downers. But, despite her personal issues of depression and drug use, Elliot continued

recording and also starred in two musical-variety specials, “The Mama Cass Television Show” in 1969 and “Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore” in 1973, as well as making numerous guest appearances on such popular television shows as “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour,” “The Carol Burnett Show,” and the very first installment of “The Midnight Special.”

In 1971, Elliot married German journalist, Donald von Wiedenman. The coupling was doomed from the start and they divorced after only several months.

In 1974, at the height of her solo career, Elliot played two weeks of concerts at the London Palladium. After the last show, on July 28, she called Michelle to tell her how happy she was that she had gotten standing ovations every night. That same night, she died in her sleep, of a heart attack at the age of 32. She was buried at Mount Sinai Memorial Park Cemetery in Los Angeles.

Because a half-eaten sandwich was found in her hotel room, rumors quickly spread that Elliot had choked to death on a ham sandwich – an urban myth completely dispelled by the autopsy, which showed no food present in her esophagus. Nevertheless, this misconception endures.

LEARN MORE • “Dream a Little Dream Of Me: The Life of Cass Elliot”

by Eddi Fiegel (Chicago Review Press, 2005).

• “American Legends: The Life Of Mama Cass Elliot”

by Charles Rivers (Charles Rivers Editors, 2015) • “Dream a Little Dream: The Cass Elliot Collection” CD boxed set (Geffen Records, 1997)

Mark Hammermeister is an award-winning artist. His work is available for purchase at www.markdraws.com May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 23

Kym Karath

Best-known for her role as the youngest von Trapp in “The Sound of Music,” the actress shares memories of her mother and how she has cultivated the attitude and resilience to be the mother of a special needs child

Story and photos by David Laurell

L

ast year marked the 50th anniversary of the release of the classic 20th Century-Fox film, “The Sound of Music.” For those who were around in the spring of 1965, it’s not all that hard to get your head around the fact that a half-century has passed since the film’s debut. What is harder to process is that, by the end of this year, every one of the actors who played the seven von Trapp children will be in their 60s or 70s with the exception of one – Kym Karath, who played the youngest child, Gretl.

Karath, who will turn 58 this August, was already a seasoned screen pro by the time she was cast as Gretl. Before doing “The Sound of Music” she appeared in the feature films “Spencer’s Mountain” with Henry Fonda, “The Thrill of It All” with Doris Day and James Garner, and “Good Neighbor Sam” with Jack Lemmon. After “The Sound of Music,” Karath continued to work, primarily in small roles on classic television programs of the 1970s including “All My Children,” “Family Affair,” “The Brady Bunch” and “Lost in Space.”

By the early 1980s, after being offered what she calls “too many dumb blond roles,” she enrolled in the University of Southern California. After

24 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

graduating USC with a degree in humanities, she moved to Paris, did some modeling work and studied at the Art History School of the Louvre.

While in Paris, she met and married a French banker and, at the age of 26, gave birth to her son Eric, who, shortly after his birth, suffered a medical event that severely damaged his brain.

Today, divorced, living in a quiet Malibu neighborhood and preparing for her second marriage to television and film producer Jeff Apple, Karath has dedicated herself to Eric’s care. She is also the founder of the Aurelia Foundation, which supports Creative Steps, an individualized program for developmentally disabled youths and adults.

The program, designed to provide a safe, caring and enriching environment, offers participants love, support and training that enables them to continue learning, achieve their full potential, and become as happy, skilled and independent as possible.

Passionate about the time and attention she gives to Eric, who is now in his mid-20s, Karath says her ability to nurture stems from the love and attention she received as a child.

“I never aspired to become an actress,” Karath

reveals. “I had no need for attention, because I got tons of it at home. I was the youngest of three, and my brother and sister are 15 and 16 years older than me, so they were like a second set of parents who completely doted on me.”

With a brother who was a singer and a sister who excelled in dance, Karath grew up in a creative environment. And yet, even when she was “discovered” as a young child, the thought of performing had little appeal to her. “My father owned a restaurant on Melrose and Vine in Los Angeles,” she says. “That was where I had my Lana Turner moment. My mother and I were having lunch at the restaurant and some producers came over to our table and asked my mother if I would like to appear in a film. My mother said they would have to ask me.

I told them I would consider it if it didn’t take too much of my time, because I was very busy with quite a few dolls to take care of. The thought of acting just didn’t do anything for me. I wanted to be a baby doctor – a pediatrician. But my mother did follow up with those producers, who were doing ‘Spencer’s Mountain,’ which became my first film and the start of my acting career.”

FROM MOTHERED TO MOTHERING

As for the role of Gretl in “The Sound of Music,” Karath says she has many vivid memories of doing the film, but believes the most remarkable thing about having been involved with the classic musical is how she and her on-screen siblings have all remained so close for over 50 years.

“The thing that is most special to me – just remarkable – is that all seven of us have stayed so close,” she says. “We have always kept in touch, and now, with Twitter and Facebook, we do so with even more frequency.”

Karath says she believes the reason she and her castmate siblings have remained close was due to the bond that formed between them during the film’s production.

“It was a daunting experience,” she recalls.

“A very long shoot that was arduous in that there was a lot to be done: singing, dancing, location work. And on top of that, it was a period film, so it even took longer, because of all the attention that had to be paid to wardrobe and the historical detail. But, even though we were all young, we knew we were doing something significant. I was certainly aware of that. Because it was such a life-consuming production that we knew was important, we turned to each other for support and that has always remained the case.”

MEMORIES OF A LATE-IN-LIFE BABY While recalling her early acting days, Karath sinks into a beige couch in her living room next to an end table that holds a framed photo of an elegant woman in a black and red dress. Explaining that the woman is her late mother, she looks at the photo and sighs.

“She was so beautiful and petite,” she says softly. “She had a very elegant quality. She has been gone for 12 years now. She lived to be 84, but she was like a 60-year-old – very vivacious, vibrant and active. Then she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and six months later, she was gone.”

When it is pointed out that this story will run in May – the month of Mother’s Day – Karath’s face lights up. “I was her late-in-life baby,” she states proudly. “I think she thought she was just getting sick and ended up finding out she was pregnant. From what I’ve been told,” she adds with a laugh, “I was conceived after my parents went to see ‘Never On Sunday,’ which is a Greek film – a romantic comedy that is a bit risqué – and that they left the theatre in an extremely passionate mood.”

Explaining that her parents both really enjoyed having a late-in-life baby, she says she always had an extremely close bond to her mother that continued to get stronger as the years passed.

“Losing my parents was the most excruciating thing that has happened to me,” she reveals. “My dad was only 60 when he passed away. He had a massive heart attack and died in my mother’s arms at a party. After his death, my mom and I became even closer. We didn’t know how we would survive

– emotionally, economically. It was a rough time for both of us – real bonding years. When I think back to that time, the song that always comes to mind is ‘You and Me Against the World.’ That was how we both felt back then.”

Continuing to reflect on her mother, Karath says that, as a young child, she recalls her house always being the epicenter of family gatherings.

“We had this big Greek family and everyone would come to our house,” she says. “Some of the family members were ragtags – real characters who didn’t speak English. I remember thinking they were odd and whiny. Once, I asked my mother why we always had to have all these people at our house. She looked at me and said: ‘They have nowhere else to go.’ She asked me if I thought it would be okay if they were alone and, of course, I said no. She taught me about love and acceptance and loyalty, which are all the things that have become so import to me as an adult – as a parent. I learned about being a mother from her.

I saw how this petite lady could transform herself into a 10-foot-tall lion if any of her children were in trouble. She always had our backs. I remember, during her last year of life, when she knew she didn’t have much time left, she said: ‘I don’t know how you ever became such an incredible mother.’

That really caught me off-guard. I said: ‘Really!

You don’t know? Are you kidding me? It’s all because of what I learned from you!’ ”

As the conversation turns from being mothered to mothering, Karath says she knows that, after having a child with special needs, her mother always hurt for her.

“I kept some things from my mother, because I knew it would hurt her heart so deeply,” says Karath. “She once said that she was very sad that her grandson had to deal with such difficulties and challenges, but that she was also sad for her little girl. She had such a deep empathy for me and we had such a strong connection. I feel her around me to this day and have stories, but people will think I’m odd if I share them, so I’ll keep them to myself, but I do feel her around me very strongly.”

As for her life as a mother: after a normal pregnancy and birth, Karath returned home with a healthy baby boy. That all changed, dramatically, three weeks later when Eric suffered a stroke. “He had a fever and I knew right away it was serious, so we rushed him to the hospital,” Karath explains.

“They initially thought it might be viral meningitis, but could never tell for sure. I remember, three days later, I was alone with him in the hospital room and he started having violent seizures. Then whatever happened was catastrophic. He recovered, but I could tell there was something wrong. His eye contact was off and I knew in my heart things weren’t right.”

Having employed the services of various specialists and therapists since Eric was very young, Karath says she has always mentally stimulated and encouraged him. “There have been vast strides made in working with those with brain injuries,” she explains. “We know far more about the brain today than when Eric was born. We have seen great progress in the way stroke victims can be rehabilitated.”

While Eric’s communication skills are extremely limited, Karath says that, at times, he surprises her by saying a word or even a phrase. “I have a friend whose child didn’t speak till she was 25. So I will always have hope,” she says. “Today, with MRI and PT scans, we can see inside the brain and learn more. We still can’t fix things, but we are learning more every day, and I have great hope in what I am seeing being done with stem cells.”

Encouraged by Eric’s neurologist, Karath says she has appreciated the doctor’s positive attitude in not dwelling on her son’s limitations, but rather on what positive gains are being made and what Eric

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 25

Photo by Julie Ellerton

can do, and may someday be able to do. “We have so much more to learn about brain injuries and it is incumbent upon doctors and parents to keep up to date on the latest research and findings,” she says. “It is so important to take advantage of all the information that is available to us today.”

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ATTITUDE Karath says that when it comes to grandparents of grandchildren with developmental challenges, she feels it is vital that they support their adult child – to always be there for them, embrace acceptance, and reserve judgment. “The most critical component is the emotional one,” she opines. “A family has to come together and be loving and accepting. That is where empowerment comes from. They have to understand that the mother of a child with developmental challenges is dealing with a loss. It is a loss that they will usually make peace with on their own, but it is a loss of what you had expected, and you need to adjust, which is what happens because you love your child. Today, I don’t look at Eric and have any feelings of loss, except for what loss there has been for him. And I still have the hope that someday a miracle may give him all the things this life has to offer. Sure, it has been a loss for me in that I may never have a grandchild and never see Eric experience some of the important milestones of life, but I don’t think about that. In fact, it has given me the opportunity to celebrate the lives of my friend’s children who are going through all the stages of life. I share the joys and sorrows with them.”

Saying she has always been committed to dwelling on the positive aspects of life, Karath believes the most wonderful part of being the mother of a developmentally challenged child has nothing to do with his limitations. “For me, the thing I love the most is Eric’s character,” she says beaming. “I am so lucky to be the mother of someone who is so loving and sweet and amazing.

He is tenacious and strong and uncomplaining in the face of challenges. He is happy in the face of things that are incredibly difficult, and loving in the face of frustrations. He is a wonderful human being, and I am so honored to be a part of this wonderful human being’s development.

That’s where the parental acceptance comes in.

My feelings are no different than what any parent feels about their child. That is an attitude you have to cultivate in order to do this well. I have seen parents of special needs children who didn’t embrace that attitude and it makes for a disaster.”

CULTIVATING RESILENCE Karath says that in order to cultivate the proper attitude and embrace acceptance, one must be resilient. “I am a believer in the power of human resilience,” she says. “I have done a lot of research on this subject and even did a television show awhile back on bouncing back. Everyone I spoke

26 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

to said the same thing: People who are resilient look at things differently. They keep things in perspective. They don’t say: ‘Why me?’ when things don’t go the way they planned. They say: ‘Why not me?’ Asking: ‘Why me?’ is always the wrong question. Just look around. There is a very thin line that separates any of us from others who have challenges and, in some cases, horrific challenges. We have to be humble and very grateful for what we have and accepting of the things we don’t. Look, I would have loved to have had three healthy children, but that was not my fate. Yes, we do create our worlds to some extent, but we also have to have the proper perspective on accepting certain things we have no control of and embracing the right attitude. That is what leads to resilience.”

Prompted by her own need to find a lifelong learning program for Eric, Karath founded the Aurelia Foundation (named after her mother). In her foundation work, Karath has partnered with Lisa Szilagyi, who is a special education teacher at Malibu High School.

“The foundation was established with the goal of creating a day center that offers continuing education to mentally disabled young adults in life skills, recreational activities, vocational training and job support,” Karath explains. “When we started this, we had other parents coming out of the woodwork expressing their need for something

like this, so we found a group of dedicated parents to help form the foundation and establish the program.”

Calling the foundation and program the most important work of her life, Karath says she takes great pride in knowing what help it provides to so many families.

“There have just been so few programs for those with moderate to severe disabilities after they age out of the school system at 22,” says Karath.

“There’s just a tremendous absence of programs that keep lifelong learning going. Lisa is an amazing person, who, like my fiancé Jeff, also has a special needs child. Working with her and other parents has resulted in a program that has been incredibly successful. We are in our third year and have gone from 12 young adults to 50, and now have a waiting list. We hear from people all over the country who contact us, all looking for a similar program. Our hope is to someday have a template to help set up programs around the country – a commitment to lifelong learning and the nurturing of individuals with special needs to provide them and their families with the highest quality of life in accordance with their personal abilities.”

For more information on the Aurelia Foundation and the Creative Steps program, click on www.aureliafoundation.org.

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All The Way – New Series, NBC – Premieres Sunday May 21 at 9 p.m. (also OnDemand) Bryan Cranston reprises his Tony Award-winning role as President Lyndon B. Johnson in this film adapted by Robert Schenkkan from his Broadway play. Directed by Jay Roach, the film offers a riveting behind-the-scenes look at Johnson’s tumultuous first year in office after the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Staking his presidency on what would be a historic, unprecedented Civil Rights Act, Johnson finds himself caught between the moral imperative of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the expectations of the southern Democratic Party leaders who brought Johnson to power. Also starring Anthony Mackie, Melissa Leo, Frank Langella, Bradley Whitford, and Stephen Root.

American Masters: The Highwaymen – New

Documentary, PBS – Premieres Friday May 27 at 9 p.m.

Frequently referred to as “The Mount Rushmore of Country Music,” The Highwaymen – Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, and Kris Kristofferson – were American country music’s first bona fide supergroup, an epic quartet comprised of the outlaw country genre’s pioneering stars. This documentary examines how their towering individual personas and mutual friendships meshed to form the group’s collective artistry. It also features vintage performances, rare, behind-the-scenes footage of life on the road and in the studio with producer Don Was, and new interviews with Nelson, Kristofferson, Jessi Colter and John Carter Cash. Artists influenced by The Highwaymen, including John Mellencamp, Toby Keith, Marty Stuart, and Ray Benson of Asleep at the Wheel, are also interviewed.

Roots – New Miniseries, History Channel. A&E, and Lifetime – Premiers Monday May 30 at 9 p.m.

When the television miniseries “Roots,” based on the best-selling novel by Alex Haley, debuted in 1977, it was more than just a colossal commercial success, it was a cultural phenomenon that will now be seen by a new generation of viewers. This reboot of the story, which is being co-produced by original series star LeVar Burton, is set to debut on The History Channel, A&E and Lifetime simultaneously on Memorial Day. It stars Forest Whitaker, Anna Paquin, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and Grammy winner Tip “T.I.” Harris. Filling out the cast is Anika Noni Rose, Emayatzy Corinealdi, Matthew Goode, Mekhi Phifer, James Purefoy, Regé-Jean Page and Malachi Kirby.

The Best In MAY Television Viewing

By Sandi Berg

Maya And Marty In Manhattan – New Variety Show, NBC – Premieres Tuesday May 31 at 10 p.m.

NBC is giving another shot to a venerable old genre, namely the onehour live variety show. This time they are betting on “Saturday Night Live” veterans Maya Rudolph and Martin Short, who will be starring.

Kenan Thompson, another “SNL” alum, also stars in the series that will be overseen by “SNL” creator and producer Lorne Michaels. “Maya and Marty” will air live from 30 Rockefeller Center, featuring sketches that spoof current events and celebrities, as well as musical performances.

Feed The Beast – New Series, AMC – Premieres Tuesday May 31 at 10 p.m.

Based on a Danish television series, this new drama is about two best friends who take one last shot at their dream of opening a restaurant.

The series focuses on Dion Pappas, played by Jim Sturgess, and Tommy Shannon, played by David Schwimmer, who are like brothers, with all the love and complications that come with it. Dion can’t stay out of trouble; Tommy can’t move past it. For two friends on the brink of losing everything, a dusty pipe dream of opening an upscale restaurant in their hometown of the Bronx is all they have left to turn their lives around.

They push each other to follow through on their dreams, welcome love into their lives, and overcome their demons. They also betray, back stab, manipulate and coerce each other into the most dangerous situations imaginable.

28 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

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Let’s Get OUt A Preview of Upcoming Events for May/June By Claire Yezbak Fadden

LA/Ventura

May/June

eNteRtAINMeNt SUNDAY, MAY 15 ROSE FESTIVAL Celebrate America’s favorite flower at this two-day festival. Events include an up-close look at rare and special roses. Make floral creations using roses and other flowers and enjoy a Rose Garden walk guided by horticulturists. Descanso Gardens, 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. Free.

(818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org.

YOU NEVER CAN TELL A lunch unlike any other reveals a family secret–uncovering both the pleasures and perils of family life. Written over a century ago, this early George Bernard Shaw play is charming and comically surprising. No man (or woman) is an island in this warm, wise and most modern play. A Noise Within, 3352 E Foothill Blvd. Pasadena. $40-$62. (626) 3563100. anoisewithin.org.

WESTERN MUSIC ASSOCIATION SHOWCASE Musicians and cowboy poets perform stories and songs of the romantic days of the Old West, contemporary music of the American West and songs of the open range and the American cowboy. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

FATHER COMES HOME FROM THE WARS In this play set during the Civil War, a slave named Hero is offered his freedom if he joins his master in the ranks of the Confederacy.

His decision brings him face to face not only with a nation at war with itself, but with what freedom truly means. Center Theatre Group/ Mark Taper Forum at the Music Center, 135 N. Grand Ave., Los Angeles. $25-$85. (213) 6282772. centertheatregroup.org.

THE SUPERHERO AND HIS CHARMING WIFE An original story of a career superhero whose marriage collapses when his wife develops the surprising ability to transform into other women. The Hero, a man devoted to order and constancy, is forced to confront his deep terror of chaos, the unknown and losing control. In search of her own identity, the Hero’s wife discovers a dark side of herself that she was not prepared to face. Highways Performance Space at 18th Street St. Arts Center, 1651 18th St., Santa Monica. $20-$30. (310) 3151459. highwaysperformance.org.

STAGE KISS When long-lost loves are cast as long-lost lovers, two squabbling actors are slow to learn their lines but quick to ignite an old flame.

On-stage, back-stage and out the stage door, reality collides with fiction in this raucous and revealing play within a play. Gil Cates Theater, 10886 Le Conte Ave. Los Angeles. $32-$76.

(310) 208-5454. geffenplayhouse.com.

30 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

SUNDAY, MAY 15

NOEL PAUL STOOKEY

Singer/songwriter Noel Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary), brings his intimate musicality for a one-night-only event of story and melody spanning 50 years. Stookey performs standards such as “The Wedding Song,” “In These Times” and “Jean Claude” and previously unreleased solo songs from the Peter, Paul and Mary albums. The program features original folk songs written by Stookey about current issues. Rubicon Theatre Company, 1006 E. Main St. Ventura. $69. (805) 667-2900. rubicontheatre.org.

ON THE TWENTIETH CENTURY Bankrupt theater producer Oscar Jaffee has only the ride from Chicago to New York to convince glamorous Hollywood starlet and former lover Lily Garland into playing the lead in his new, but not-yet-written, drama. Musical Theatre West’s (MTW) Reiner Staged Reading Series, University Theatre at California State University, Long Beach. $32 (562) 8561999x4. musical.org.

TUESDAY, MAY 17 ENDGAME In the absurdist world of “Endgame,” somewhere between existence and death, four characters, Hamm, Clov, Nagg and Nell, cling to sanity while performing daily rituals, sometimes comically, as they wrestle some sort of order from the cyclical, repetitious, seemingly nothingness of life. Center Theatre Group, Kirk Douglas Theatre, 9820 Washington Blvd., Culver City. Tues.-Sun. through May 22. Prices vary. (213) 628-2772. centertheatregroup.org.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18 GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Ergo Musica. Sanctuary of Glendale City Church, 610 E. California Ave.,

Glendale, Glendale. Free. (818) 242-2113. glendalenoonconcerts.blogspot.com.

THURSDAY, MAY 19 A WALK IN THE WOODS Nearing the end of the Cold War, a pair of arms negotiators — a clever, cynical Russian and an idealistic young American — step away from the bargaining table to meet in the woods outside Geneva for a series of talks to explore the obstacles their countries face on the path to peace. International City Theatre, Long Beach Performing Arts Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach. Through May 22 8. $46-$48. (562) 436-4610. internationalcitytheatre.org.

ARTURO SANDOVAL This great trumpet legend can burn through an Afro-Cuban groove, tear up a bebop tune, soar over a Mozart concerto and sooth the soul with a luscious ballad.

Carpenter Performing Arts Center, 6200 E Atherton St., Long Beach. Prices vary. carpenterarts.org.

SATURDAY, MAY 21

WILD FOR THE PLANET AT THE L.A. ZOO A variety of events to spotlight the zoo’s conservation efforts and what people can do to protect and preserve Planet Earth.

Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens, Griffith Park, 5333 Zoo Dr., Los Angeles.

Sat.-Sun. through May 22. $20. (323) 6446001. lazoo.org.

CALIFORNIA STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL The festival features concert performances, the Strawberry Promenade with celebrity cooking demonstrations, more than 250 craft booths and Strawberryland For Kids.

The “build your own” strawberry shortcake tent lets you control your strawberry bliss as you pile on the goodness. Strawberry Meadows of College Park, 3250 S. Rose Ave., Oxnard. $8- $12. Also May 22. (888) 288-9242. strawberry-fest.org.

PETER PAN Musicians and cowboy poets perform Bursting with pixie dust, adventure and dance, this timeless classic comes to life.

Peter and his feisty sidekick, Tinker Bell, teach the Darling children to fly and land on an enchanted island battling swashbuckling pirates led by the ferocious Captain Hook.

Pacific Festival Ballet, Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza, Fred Kavli Theatre, 2100 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks. $30. (805) 4492787. civicartsplaza.com.

CALeNDAR

May/June LA/Ventura

SUNDAY, MAY 22

SUNDAY, MAY 29

SUNDAY, JUNE 12

INVITATION TO THE DANCE Roger Wright, piano Playing Chopin’s “Bolero” and Mason’s “Tango.” St. James Presbyterian Church, 19414 Ventura Blvd., Tarzana. Free.

(818) 345-2057. stjamespres.org.

LATIN JAZZ SUNDAY Enjoy music and dancing with Afro Latin Ensemble, performing salsa, timba, AfroCuban and Afro-Caribbean music. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. $6-$10. (323) 6672000. theautry.org.

DONNYBROOK Irish-American prizefighter John Enright has killed a man in the ring and vowed never to raise a hand again to anyone. He returns to his homeland in the misty hills of west Ireland where he meets the invincible Ellen Roe, who wants a man who will stand up and fight for her. Musical Theatre West’s (MTW) Reiner Staged Reading Series, University Theatre at California State University, Long Beach. $32 (562) 856-1999x4. musical.org.

TUESDAY, MAY24 VENTURA BLUEGRASS JAMS Milano’s Italian Restaurant, Patio, Ventura Harbor Village, 1559 Spinnaker Dr., Ventura.

(805) 658-0388. milanositalianrestaurant.com THURSDAY, MAY 26 JUICE NEWTON ACOUSTIC TRIO The Canyon, 28912 Roadside Dr., Agoura Hills. $20-$28. (818) 879-5016. canyonclub.net.

FRIDAY, MAY 27 RATT The Rose, 300 East Colorado Blvd, Unit 101, Pasadena. $38-$58. (888) 645-5006. roseconcerts.com.

GARDEN GROVE STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL This four-day festival includes carnival rides, contests, food and vendor booths, games, music and live entertainment. Village Green between Main St. and Euclid Ave., Garden Grove. Through May 30. (714) 638-0981. strawberryfestival.org.

JUNE WEDNESDAY. JUNE 1 GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Annelle Gregory violin recital. Sanctuary of Glendale City Church, 610 E. California Ave., Glendale, Glendale. Free. (818) 242-2113. glendalenoonconcerts.blogspot.com.

FRIDAY, JUNE 3 WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD Village Voices Chorale. Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza, Scherr Forum Theatre, 2100 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks. Also June 4. $25. (805) 449-2787. civicartsplaza.com.

SATURDAY, JUNE 4 IN DIALOGUE: CALIFORNIA DREAMING Los Angeles-based artist duo Kat Hutter and Roger Lee discuss their project “Another California Day” from its inception as a

SATURDAY, MAY 21

BUG FAIR

Learn about the world of arthropods and arachnids at the biggest bug festival in North America. Activities include live animal presentations, citizen science projects, crafts, live music and tastings from some of the greatest bug chefs in the world. There’s an opportunity to buy bugs and bug merchandise from more than 70 vendors and see outstanding collections. Natural History Museum, Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Also May 22. $9-$12. (213)763-3466. nhm.org/bugfair.

photographic journey through California to a multimedia installation. Pasadena Museum of Art, 490 East Union Street, Pasadena. $5-$7.

Wed.-Sun. (626) 568-3665. pmcaonline.org.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5 FREE FIRST SUNDAY Free admission to the Museum of Ventura County including its galleries and any special events. Museum of Ventura County, 100 East Main St., Ventura. First Sunday of each month.

(805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8 WORLD OCEAN DAY COLLECTION Learn about climate change, ocean pollution and other ocean issues by viewing films and shows and exploring exhibits. All of this is in celebration of the ocean, which covers 70 percent of Earth’s surface and remains 90 percent unexplored. The Aquarium of the Pacific, 100 Aquarium Way, Long Beach. $26$29. (562) 590-3100. aquariumofpacific.org.

DISGRACED In a riveting, contemporary exploration of identity and religion, this play follows a married couple living in Upper East Side Manhattan.

Amir is a corporate lawyer and Emily an artist, and though Amir was born in Pakistan and raised Muslim, he has left his heritage behind.

The couple hosts a small dinner party and soon, before anyone can stop it, polite protocol is abandoned and the talk turns to religion, politics and sex. Center Theatre Group/Mark Taper Forum at the Music Center, 135 N. Grand Ave., Los Angeles. Through July17. $25-$85.

(213) 628-2772. centertheatregroup.org.

SECOND SUNDAY CONCERT Pasadena Central Library, 285 E Walnut, Pasadena. Free. (626) 398-0658.

TUESDAY, JUNE 14 VENTURA BLUEGRASS JAMS Milano’s Italian Restaurant, Patio, Ventura Harbor Village, 1559 Spinnaker Dr., Ventura.

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eXHIBItIONs SUNDAY, MAY 15 GEOGRAPHIES OF WONDER: AMERIANS AND THE NATIONAL PARK IDEA Part 1: Origin Stories of America’s National parks 1872-1933. This year is the centennial of the National Park Service and two consecutive exhibitions explore the origins and evolution of the national park idea. The first exhibition highlights Americans’ early encounters with natural scenic wonders such as Niagara Falls and the Hudson River Valley, and follows the story through the creation of the first national parks, including Yellowstone and Yosemite. The Huntington, MaryLou and George Boone Gallery, 1151 Oxford Rd., San Marino. Through Sept. 3. $19-$25. huntington.org.

DINOSAURS: UNEXTINCT AT THE L.A. ZOO Seventeen life-size, life-like prehistoric creatures are on display in an all-new exhibit. Animatronic dinosaurs, brought to life with electronic “brains,” provide a rare chance to discover a lost world from millions upon millions of years ago. This exhibition includes a fossil dig, a Stegosaurus robot with

FRIDAY, JUNE 10 THE TEMPTATIONS Saban Theatre, 8440 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. $48-$68. (888) 645-5006. sabantheatre.org.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 31

CALeNDAR

May/June LA/Ventura controls you can operate and a climbable Pachyrhinosaurus. Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens, Griffith Park, 5333 Zoo Dr., Los Angeles. Sat.-Sun. through Oct. 31. $20.

(323) 644-6001. lazoo.org.

SUNDAY, MAY 15 REVOLUTIONARY VISION Explore the intertwined legacies of f/64, California’s premier photo-modernist group, and Richard Misrach, one of the state’s most well-known contemporary photographers.

Includes works by Ansel Adams, Imogen Cunningham, Richard Misrach, Edward Weston, and others who present changing visions of the Western landscape. The Autry National Center, Norman F. Sprague, Jr. Gallery, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. Through Jan. 8, 2017. $6$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

$5-$7. Wed.-Sun. (626) 568-3665. pmcaonline.org.

RESPECT! OTIS REDDING AND THE REVOLUTION OF SOUL This exhibition offers a unique look at the influential career of the legendary King of Soul, and the lasting impact he made on music and pop culture in such a short period of time.

The Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, Fourth Floor Mike Curb Gallery, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Sept. 15. $12-$13. (213) 765-6803. grammymuseum.org.

JOSE MONTOYA ABUNDANT HARVEST A retrospective celebrating the life, art and activism of José Montoya (1932-2013).

This comprehensive survey includes nearly 2,000 drawings along with paintings, poems, sketchbooks, video footage, music and other

ephemera. Together they demonstrate how Montoya captured the spirit of the times, and documented some of the most important civil rights and labor movements of the 20th century. The Fowler Museum at UCLA, North Campus, Los Angeles. Wed.-Sun. through July 17. Free. (310) 825-4361. fowler.ucla.edu.

NEW ACQUISITIONS Featuring the Kaufman Collection, this exhibit presents nearly 60 paintings, sculptures and works on paper. Organized thematically, the artworks are set alongside quotes that describe aspects of experience and identity in the West. These words support, challenge or complicate the artworks, creating a dialogue that reminds us that a work of art—like any form of representation—does not always tell the whole story. The Autry National Center, Norman F. Sprague, Jr. Gallery, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles.

Through July 9. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

GEORGE CARLIN: A PLACE FOR MY STUFF The exhibit marks the third display in the Museum’s comedy series, following previous tributes to Rodney Dangerfield and Joan Rivers. The Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, Third Floor, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles.

Through May 31. $12-$13. (213) 765-6803. grammymuseum.org.

Get the Word Out. E-mail your announcements to Claire Fadden, cfadden@lifeafter50.com 60 days prior (or even earlier) to your event. Include a brief description, location, date, time, cost, phone and website. Submission does not guarantee publication.

BRETT WESTON: SIGNIFICANT DETAILS This exhibition focuses on Brett Weston’s (1911-1993) close-up photography. The works share the high-contrast and graphic qualities of Weston’s panoramic photographs while emphasizing the tendency toward abstraction and extremes in tonality that Weston explored through his nearly-60-year career. Pasadena Museum of Art, 490 East Union Street, Pasadena. Through Sept. 11. $5-$7. Wed.Sun. (626) 568-3665. pmcaonline.org.

CHASING DREAMS: BASEBALL AND BECOMING AMERICAN From Hank Greenberg and Sandy Koufax to Joe DiMaggio, Jackie Robinson, Roberto Clemente, Fernando Valenzuela and Ichiro Suzuki, these players didn’t just play the game—they changed it. Through more than 130 original objects—including game-worn uniforms, films and historic footage, awards, baseball cards and signed memorabilia--this exhibition pays tribute to these major league game changers. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Oct. 30. $7-$10. (310) 440-4500. skirball.org.

CLAIRE FALKENSTEIN: BEYOND SCULPTURE Though her enduring reputation rests on her sculpture, Claire Falkenstein (1908–1997) began and ended her career as an inventive painter. Her body of work also includes printmaking, jewelry, glass, film, stage sets for dance, public murals, fountains and monumental architectural commissions.

The retrospective assembles preeminent examples from each media, presenting the full range of one of America’s most experimental, productive and wandering 20th century artists.

Pasadena Museum of Art, 490 East Union Street, Pasadena. Through Sept. 11.

32 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

SATURDAY, JUNE 4

PACIFIC ISLANDER FESTIVAL

Discover the rich and diverse cultures of the Pacific Islands through traditional craft demonstrations, ethnic cuisine, educational programs, and live entertainment, including music and dance performances. Watch hula, listen to Tahitian drumming, try out ancient Hawaiian games, enjoy island cuisine and admire artisans as they create traditional weavings. This festival features many cultures, including Hawaiian, Marshallese, Chamoru, Tahitian, Samoan, Tokelauan, Tongan and Maori. The Aquarium of the Pacific, 100 Aquarium Way, Long Beach. Also June 5. $26-$29. (562) 590-3100. aquariumofpacific.org.

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Rick Steves’ Travels Luzern: A Swiss Mix of Urban Delights Rick St eveS’ t RavelS

By Rick Steves

O

ffering a striking mountain panorama as a backdrop to Lake Lucerne, Luzern has long been Switzerland’s tourism capital. Since the Romantic era in the 19th century, Luzern has been a regular stop on the “grand tour” of Europe for the likes of Mark Twain and Queen Victoria.

With a charming old town, a pair of pictureperfect wooden bridges, a gaggle of fine museums, an ultramodern concert hall, and its famous weeping lion, there’s more than enough to see and do in Luzern to earn it a place on any Swiss itinerary. It’s also an ideal home base for exploring central Switzerland.

Luzern offers an enticing “I-could-live-here” appeal with its uniquely Swiss urban quality of life. You’ll find efficient buses gliding around town, pedestrian bridges spanning the crystalclear river, a scenic lake plied by an array of cruise boats, and a few choice museums.

Simply strolling the streets and bridges or cruising Lake Lucerne is enough for a happy day of sightseeing, but Luzern also offers fine attractions. Art buffs flock to the Rosengart Collection for its Picasso exhibit; gearheads have a ball at the Swiss Transport Museum; and rock hounds dig the city’s Glacier Garden.

Luzern began as a fishing village at the spot where the Reuss River tumbles out of Lake Lucerne. By the 13th century, with traffic be-

34 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

tween northern and southern Europe streaming through the nearby Gotthard Pass, Luzern became a bustling trading center. All that traffic brought the construction of two river bridges that are now icons of the city.

In the 14th century, the Chapel Bridge (Kapellbrücke) was oddly built across the river – spanning its banks at an angle to connect the town’s fortifications. Under its rafters hang about 100 colorful 17th century paintings showing contemporary and historic scenes. The other famous bridge – Mill Bridge (Spreuerbrücke) – also has fine 17th century paintings and cantonal banners under the double eagle of the Holy Roman Empire, a reminder that the emperor granted free status to the city. The flip side shows a scene of Judgment Day. Another emblematic sight is the Lion Monument (Löwendenkmal). This free, famous memorial is an essential stop if you’re visiting Luzern, if for no other reason than once you get home, everyone will ask: “Did you see the lion?” Open from sunrise to dusk, the huge sculpture (33 feet long by 20 feet tall) is carved into a cliff face over a reflecting pool in a peaceful park.

Though it’s often overrun with tour groups, a tranquil moment here is genuinely moving: The mighty lion rests his paws on a shield, with his head cocked to one side, tears streaming down his cheeks. In his side is the broken end of a spear, which is slowly killing the noble beast. This heartbreaking figure represents the Swiss mercenaries who were killed or executed defending the French king in the French Revolution. The memorial’s

inscription reads: “Helvetiorum fidei ac virtuti” — “To the loyalty and bravery of the Swiss.”

Along with its historic landmarks, Luzern has distinctive modern architecture. On the waterfront is the Luzern Culture and Conference Center, a huge building with an overhanging roof. Lake water is pumped up, into, through and out of this building, so if you were to wander to its far side, you’d see open channels that go right through the middle of the structure.

One of the best ways to experience Luzern is by boat. Gorgeous Lake Lucerne, with a total area of 44 square miles, has a variety of boat routes and destinations (35 stops in all). Cruises range from a one-hour sampler tour around Luzern’s “harbor,” to a full-blown, six-hour exploration to the far end of the lake and back again. Some routes are round-trip dinner or sightseeing cruises, but most boats have scheduled stops and are designed to allow you to get out, explore, and then take the next boat back. Romantics will want to hitch a ride on one of the old fashioned paddleboat steamers.

From its dramatic scenery and quaint oldtown squares to its modern, urban efficiency, Luzern is one of Switzerland’s gems. No visit to Switzerland is really complete without sampling its urban charms.

Rick Steves writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and radio. You can e-mail him at rick@ricksteves.com and visit his website at www.ricksteves.com.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 35

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And Finally...

The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

Dead Presidents

By Brady Carlson

S

omeday, you may have your own very special stone. Everyone will know it’s yours because your name will be on it, along with a couple of dates. It’ll be yours for a long time, perhaps forever, but sadly, you’ll never see it in its finished form.

Your stone will, most likely, be just a few feet high or wide, unless, between now and your departure from this world, you were to be elected into the world’s most exclusive clique – one that, to date, has only had 43 members – the U.S. presidency. Then, as “Dead Presidents” author Brady Carlson points out, you could be memorialized with a stone the size of a South Dakota mountain.

Carlson is a curious guy, and when his curiosity is piqued, he tends to go all-out in a search for information.

Years ago, in grade school, he became interested in U.S. presidents and noticed most books are written about “the lives of our leaders.” That led him to wonder about their deaths.

A few years ago, he finally acted on his inquisitiveness with a cross-country journey to the graves of the presidents and their monuments. Beginning with the “Father of Our Country,” Carlson learned that Washington didn’t want a lot of foofaraw upon his death. He really didn’t want a city to be named after him either; so one can only imagine how he’d feel about Washington, D.C. and its tallest monument, which, by the way, wasn’t finished until nearly 90 years after he died.

Every schoolchild knows (hopefully) that John Q. Adams and Thomas Jefferson – friends, rivals, and signers of the Declaration of Independence – both died on July 4, 1826. That’s an eerie coincidence, but Carlson points out that Presidents Ford and Truman also both died the day after Christmas (in different years).

As for the presidential resting places: Carlson revels that Abraham Lincoln’s bones sat in a basement “for almost a decade,” and parts of James Garfield’s skeletal remains are in a museum, remnants of an attempted murder and a trial. One president was exhumed 140 years after he died, one lay in a temporary crypt for “two months longer than his entire presidency,” and, surprisingly, just one (so far) actually rests in the District of Columbia proper.

In just eight months, a new person will sit in the Oval Office. What happened to many of his or her predecessors is the premise behind this fascinating peek at presidential passings.

You don’t have to look much past the title of “Dead Presidents” to know that you’re in for something enjoyably irreverent here, but Carlson isn’t disrespectful. His journey was genuine, as evidenced by places he sleuthed, people he met, and the page-turning information he found along the way. In this tome, you’ll learn about gravesites and places where we only think a president’s remains eternally rest, the circuitous route it took to get some of them to their final resting places, and how our former leaders are remembered, or not.

History buffs will relish this book, trivia lovers will eat it up, and political fans should lobby for it. If you have been enjoying this wild year of presidential politics, chances are good you’ll find “Dead Presidents” to be a stone-cold great read.

“Dead Presidents” by Brady Carlson, 2016, W.W. Norton, $26.95, 324 pages.

The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer who lives on a hill with two dogs and more than 12,000 books. You can read more of her book reviews at www.lifeafter50.com. Just click on “Entertainment” and then “Book Reviews.”

A Look Back

A

s is the case with so many great songs, baby boomers may find it hard to believe that this month marks the passing of 50 years since The Rolling Stones released “Paint It, Black” (ultimately changed to “Paint It Black”). Written

by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, and initially released as a single on May 6, 1966, the song was later included as the opening track to the U.S. version of the Stone’s 1966 album, “Aftermath.”

Ultimately reaching number one on the Billboard Hot 100, “Paint It, Black” became the band’s third number one hit in the U.S. The song’s lyrics, which tell a tale of a mourner attending a funeral through colorful metaphors, were inspired by novelist James Joyce. In Joyce’s 1922 classic, “Ulysses,” the author described the world as being in the grips of desperation and desolation by writing: “I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.” The song, recorded at the RCA Studios in Los Angeles on March 8, 1966, caused debate amongst the band members, who, upon listening to the playback, were so dissatisfied with the recording they considered scrapping it. That thought was reconsidered when Bill Wyman began doing some experimenting on the organ. Deciding on a heavier bass sound with an up-tempo and Eastern-influenced pentatonic melody, “Paint It, Black” was saved, making it the first Stone’s song to introduce Brian Jones use of a sitar.

38 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Just A Thought Before We Go “There’s no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.”

– Jill Churchill

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Contents Reuters / The Interview People

10

May 2016

14

22

24

Cover Profile

Departments

10 Julianne Moore

6 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

The actress on her soon-to-be-released film, “Maggie’s Plan.”

Features 14 Tap Into Your Transformative Power Action steps that will help you enjoy a happier and healthier life.

18 Detoxing Your Past Transforming your life from self-sabotage to shining success.

22 The Hallowed Hall Of Must-Knowtables – Mama Cass Elliot Legendary notables that everyone, of every age, should know.

24 The Look Of Life After 50 – Kym Karath The youngest von Trapp on the challenges of mothering a special needs child.

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of.

30 Let’s Get Out

Looking to get out and about? Our May/June calendar has some great suggestions.

34 Rick Steves’ Travels

Visiting Luzern for a delightful Swiss mix of urban delights.

38 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

A book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

Cover Photo: REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni – The Interview People

All material published within this issue of Life After 50 and on www.lifeafte50.com is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. No individual, advice, product or service is in any way endorsed by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. or provided as a substitute for the reader’s seeking of individualized professional advice or instruction. Readers should seek the advice of qualified professionals on any matter regarding an individual, advice, recommendations, services or products covered within this issue. All information and material is provided to readers with the understanding that it comes from various sources from which there is no warranty or responsibility by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. as to its or their legality, completeness or technical accuracy.

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Editor’s Note...

Sharing Family Memories With Everyone’s Little Sister

T

his month, as we celebrate Mother’s Day, I, like so many, find myself reflecting on my long-gone mother and grandmother. Because my mother had a demanding job, I spent a lot of time during my formative years with my grandmother. Of all the vivid memories I have of her, one stands out the most: Her love for the film “The Sound of Music.”

I remember her taking my younger brother and me to see the classic musical for the first time, when I was eight. Even before that iconic opening scene of Julie Andrews as Maria singing amidst the Alps, I was fairly knowledgeable of the real-life von Trapp family the film was based on. Having been fascinated by the DACH region of the world since she was a little girl, my grandmother was enamored of the von Trapps’ story, and it inspired her to journey to Salzburg, Austria and learn all she could about the family. While there, she bought a copy of Maria Augusta von Trapp’s book, “The Story of the Trapp Family Singers” (J. B. Lippincott Company, 1949) and, in 1964, knowing the film version was due to be released in March of 1965, passed that book on to me to read during the summer.

I loved the book, and the film, and, like so many, felt a kinship with the von Trapp kids – almost as if I were the family’s eighth sibling (although the “play clothes” would have been an issue with me).

In the early 2000s, I did an interview with Charmian Carr, who played Liesl in the film, and, have since had the opportunity to meet the other six actors who portrayed the von Trapp children – Nicholas Hammond, Heather Menzies, Duane Chase, Angela Cartwright, Debbie Turner and Kym Karath.

In my office, I have a photograph of me with all seven of them. Once, I had someone look at that photo and, not recognizing the actors as adults, ask me if they were my brothers and sisters. I laughed when that question was posed to me, and did so again when I recently interviewed Kym Karath, who played Gretl in the film, for this issue, and told her that story.

“I think that photo exemplifies what so many feel about ‘The Sound of Music,’” I told Karath. “That over the past 50 years, so many kids grew up with Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta, Kurt, Marta and Gretl, that, in a way, they have become a part of our family – that Gretl has become everyone’s little sister.”

She laughed and agreed with my premise, which led her to sharing thoughts of her real family – memories of her mother and the pride and challenges she faces as the mother of a special needs child.

It may sound odd, but as I said goodbye to Karath and drove away from her home, I had an overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t just bidding adieu to an interviewee, but to my little sister.

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor-in-Chief David Laurell Associate Editors Steve Stoliar Claire Yezbak Fadden Art Director Michael Kraxenberger Editorial Assistant Max Andrews Controller Kacie Cobian Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Linda Lam Billing Supervisor David Garcia VP Of Operations David Comden

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A May Thought

“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story.

Because hers is where yours begin.” ― Mitch Albom

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 5

50

Strike A Heart-Healthy Pose

I

Plus

What You Need To Know

By Claire Yezbak Fadden and Max Andrews

f you prefer holding a warrior one stance to being a weekend workout warrior or are more likely to practice a downward-facing dog than to take part in an uphill hike, you know yoga can be beneficial to your health and mental state. According to a study published in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, “There is promising evidence of yoga on improving cardio-metabolic health.” The research revealed how yoga significantly reduced risk factors such as high body-mass index, blood pressure and LDL cholesterol levels. The results were comparable to exercises such as biking or walking. So keep on posing, for your heart’s sake!

The Joys And Science Of Grandmothering

U

sing her “60 Minutes” skills, broadcast journalist Lesley Stahl explores how grandmothering changes a woman’s life in her new book, “Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting” (Blue Rider Press, 2016). Along with personal accounts from Whoopi Goldberg and Diane Sawyer, Stahl speaks with scientists and doctors about physiological changes that occur in women when they have grandchildren. Stahl also discusses the therapeutic effects of the relationship between grandchildren and their grandmothers with anthropologists and psychiatrists. Throughout the book, she shares stories about her own life with granddaughters, Jordan and Chloe, and how her relationship with her daughter, Taylor, has changed since Taylor became a mother.

Fifty Candles

F

ifty years ago this month, The Beatles performed their last British concert, “Monday, Monday” by The Mamas and the Papas reached number one, Mel Ott’s home run record was broken when Willie Mays hit his 512th home run, some 5,000 anti-war protestors demonstrated at the White House before rallying at the Washington Monument, the final episode of “Perry Mason” starring Raymond Burr aired on CBS, and, after a statement by U.S. Secretary of State Dean Rusk, Cuba’s Prime Minister Fidel Castro told his citizens to prepare for an attack from the United States. Notable personalities born in May 1966 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include singers Janet Jackson, Johnny Gill and Johnny Diesel, novelist Jodi Picoult, actresses Mindy Cohn, Lisa Edelstein and Helena Bonham Carter and actors Stephen Baldwin and Charlie Schlatter.

6 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Promoting Peaceful Parenting

T

his month’s celebration of Mother’s Day means many parents will be spending the day with their adult children.

As the parent of a child in their late-20s or 30s, maintaining a peaceful and harmonious relationship can be challenging. According to Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, PhD, a research professor in the department of psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts who co-authored “When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?” (Workman, 2013), much of the angst between parents and adult children stems from the tug-of-war over whose life it is. For loving parents, their grown children’s trials and errors, including failed projects and teary breakups, can be anguishing. It can be wrenching to let go of the old parental desire to try to fix things. Arnett says that along with romantic relationships and childrearing, money issues are the cause of most conflicts between parents and adult children. As for offering advice on any subject, Arnett recommends that parents refrain from asking probing or personal questions. While the adult child may be in need of advice, he says the best option is for parents to bite their tongues and not offer advice unless it has been requested. Doing so might harm the relationship and there is a good chance it won’t be heeded anyway. For more information on Arnett’s research, click on www.JeffreyArnett.com.

A Little More You Need To Know

Where You Need To Go See The Sea’s Horses And Dragons

W

hile Pegasus may be a mythical creature, real winged-horses do exist in the ocean. Starting on May 27, you can explore the mysterious realm of these little dragon-like winged-horses that dwell under the sea through new exhibits at the Aquarium of the Pacific. Featuring about a dozen species of seahorses, sea dragons and their relatives, the exhibit Horses and Dragons will showcase the wonder and diversity of these amazing creatures.

Learn that male sea dragons carry eggs until they hatch, and that seahorses can change color. See and learn more about the unusual animals in the Syngnathid group, which includes the sea moth (also known as Pegasus), seahorses, sea dragons, pipefish and razorfish through exhibit displays, a film, and education programs in the Marine Life Theater. “Syngnathids have existed on the planet for about 50 million years, but face many environmental threats today,” says Dr. Sandy Trautwein, the aquarium’s curator of fish and invertebrates. “It is our hope that people will walk away from this exhibition in awe of these beautiful animals and wanting to learn more about what they can do to help.” The exhibition will run through March 31, 2017.

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month

Side-Stepping Social Security Scams

P

eople need to be extra cautious if they receive an e-mail that appears to be from the Social Security Administration (SSA). Not only are fraudulent e-mails with malicious links offering “New Features” to monitor finances floating around, they are also urging people to create a “My Social Security” account.

If you receive an e-mail seemingly from the SSA be aware: • Legitimate e-mails from Social Security will come from a “.gov” address. If the e-mail doesn’t end in “.gov,” do not click on any link or respond. To check that any link included in an e-mail is directing you to a “.gov” address, hover your mouse over the link until a text box appears with the web address.

• Look for poor choices in wording or spelling.

• Should the e-mail include a business name, telephone number, or web link, verify them by searching for the official number or website in a search engine.

• If uncertain whether the e-mail actually came from SSA or any of their marketing firms, do not respond to the e-mail but rather, go directly to the official Social Security website.

• If you do receive a fraudulent SSA e-mail, report the incident immediately by forwarding the e-mail to the U.S. Computer Emergency Readiness Team at www.phishingreport@us-cert.gov.

The Aquarium of the Pacific is located at 100 Aquarium Way in Long Beach. For more information, call (562) 590-3100 or click on www.aquariumofpacific.org.

New Words You might not find all of these words in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean.

Sus: Suspicion about a situation. Being suspicious as to why someone did or didn’t do something is “sus.”

Beerboarding: Extracting a secret or information from someone by getting them drunk.

Microaggression: Subtle verbal and nonverbal comments or actions intended to marginalize or reinforce a stereotype.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7

2015 Daily News Successful Aging Expo

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This informative and fun-filled day includes: • Free Health Screenings • Food Sampling • Variety of Exhibitors • Informational and Entertaining • Live Entertainment Presentations

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Columnist and Author Dennis McCarthy Book Signing

Registration is not required for attendees.

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successfulagingexpo.com If you have questions about these events or want to become an exhibitor, contact: Julie Corlette, Events Manager, (310) 543-6123, julie.corlette@langnews.com

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May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 9

Cover Profile

Julianne

Moore

By Jenny Davis / The Interview People

10 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Ullstein / The Interview People

The Academy Awardwinning actress on her soon-to-be-released film, “Maggie’s Plan”

Ullstein / The Interview People

A

cademy Award-winning actress Julianne Moore was looking stunning in a black lace dress at a recent film festival, where her latest feature, “Maggie’s Plan,” was in competition. The romantic comedy, directed by Rebecca Miller, revolves around a young women, played by Greta Gerwig, who begins a relationship with a married man, played by Ethan Hawke, who splits with his wife, Georgette, played

by Moore.

“I loved Georgette,” says Moore. “I mean, I loved her on the page and I loved how Rebecca and I were able to create her together and speak about her. I loved her.”

“Maggie’s Plan” deals with issues surrounding the relationship and break-up of a marriage, a topic Moore says she discussed at length with Miller.

“We talked a lot about marriage and what happens in a marriage, the ups and downs of it,” she says. “I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, Rebecca has, I think, as well. And I had recently had a conversation with someone who had been divorced and said if she had to do it all over again she wouldn’t do it, it was just too hard.”

With “Maggie’s Plan” set to be released this month, Moore recently took some time to share her thoughts about her latest film and character.

Jenny Davis (JD): What was there about the character of Georgette that attracted you to taking the role?

Julianne Moore (JM): I had recently had a conversation with someone who had been divorced. She left her husband for another man and it was a mess and she goes: “If I could turn around and do it again I would have just stayed with him.” And I thought it was interesting. She was very honest about it because she said it was so complicated, that idea that every relationship has its peaks and valleys and that notion that sometimes things are more complicated than they seem. Georgette also appears to be one thing, appears to be, you know, a monster, [but] just turns out to be kind of a very funny interesting person who is trying to have a job, take care of her kids, and it feels like she made mistakes and stuff. So I like the idea that Rebecca presented, that you can look at a situation and it is not what you think. You know, that you have to go that much deeper in order to understand.

JD: What role does control play in her emotional life?

JM: She’s not very controlled, Georgette. [laughs] She’s not controlled at all. I think what I liked about Georgette is that her id is like right there. I mean [she’s got] a sense of her own emotional life. I mean, in a sense that’s what she says to John later: “Well I’m sorry, I just completely railroaded you, I was only thinking about myself.” [laughs] I loved that about her!

JD: What is her understanding of happiness?

JM: Oh what’s anybody’s understanding of happiness? I don’t know, I think she’s someone who really seeks intellectual stimulation. You know [she is] part of the intelligentsia. She’s an academic. She lives in the world of her

mind but she’s also in love with her husband, in love with her children, and the two aren’t mutually exclusive. That’s the other quality about her that I love.

JD: What has been the most satisfying thing about having been associated with this film?

JM: Oh I think working with these guys. I mean honestly it was such a pleasurable experience. They were such wonderful characters and it was a great story and great people to be with every day. Greta [remembered] one day when Ethan looked up and looked around and realized that he was the only guy in the room. Damon [Cardasis] must not have been there that day. It was a very female heavy set with some really, really great women, so it was awesome to come to work every day and have that experience. Rebecca is so decisive. She’s so smart and incisive about things, but then also decisive when she’d be like: “Great, okay, I’ve got it.” There was so much forward momentum working with her.

It was wonderful.

JD: You have been friends with ethan Hawke for many years and yet, this is the first time you two have worked together. How was it?

JM: Sexy! [laughs] Ethan’s great. We had kids in the same school for a really long time and it was actually a pleasure to get to work with him. I have known him, I mean gosh, for years and years, and I was just saying about Ethan the other day that he is one of these people, the longer you know [him] and the more you watch [him], the more you love [him]. He’s May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11

Reuters / The Interview People

just a really incredible human being and a wonderful actor. So it was a pleasure to finally get to work with him.

JD: In this film, did you ever feel like the “other woman?”

JM: [laughs] Yeah! You know, but it was cool! What was interesting [was] that Rebecca wrote [and] Greta and I kind of elaborated. Georgette responds to Maggie so positively because she’s been so great with her children. So they have to form an alliance. She’s like: “Urgh.” But then, and I hear this a lot from people, they’re like: “You know what, my husband’s new wife is great with the kids,” and so they form this relationship. So yeah, I think Georgette does feel like the other woman [but] I was interested to explore a relationship that was positive in a situation like this.

JD: Is there a film genre you are most comfortable with?

JM: No. I did enjoy doing comedy. I really enjoy doing it. It’s nice to cry comedically and not tragically.

JD: One last question: Did you find Georgette difficult to portray?

JM: Oh wow, every character has its own challenges, you know. You’re always trying to figure out where the truth is for them – how do you bring them to life.

With comedy you’re always dealing with issues of tone, and that’s fun. I mean I thought that was really, really fun. The scene that Rebecca wrote that I think is so wonderful, that first academic scene, where Ethan and I are having a marital

12 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

argument in academic language, was probably the most challenging for me because [it’s] an academic argument and there’s a marital argument and we had to make them both work. And the language was challenging, but it was thrilling and fun to do.

“Maggie’s Plan” is a romantic comedy film directed and written by Rebecca Miller, based on the original story by Karen Rinaldi. The film stars Greta Gerwig, Ethan Hawke, Bill Hader, Maya Rudolph, Travis Fimmel, Wallace Shawn, Ida Rohatyn, Monte Greene and Julianne Moore. The film had its world premiere at the 2015 Toronto International Film Festival in September of 2015 and is scheduled to be released on May 20, 2016, by Sony Pictures Classics.

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May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 13

Tap Into Your Transformative

Power

Action steps that will help you enjoy a happier AND heatlhier life

By Betsy mendel

E

veryone, no matter what their dreams and goals in life may be, shares one desire: To be the best they can be. We all want to do everything we can to improve our lives – physically, mentally and spiritually.

As the author of the book “Move a Muscle Change a Mood: The transformative power of exercising, eating healthy and thinking positive” (CreateSpace, 2014), and a certified personal trainer, I have been helping my clients look and feel their best for over two decades. My philosophy for helping them is simple: Get up, get out, and get moving.

That’s it. As you engage your mind and body, you will begin to feel better, sleep more soundly, and eat healthier. I guarantee, if you follow the following action steps, you will transform yourself into being a better you in just a short time.

TAKE THE “HAPPY DRUG” Endorphins are the world’s best natural drugs, and my drug of choice. There is nothing like the feeling you get after a good workout.

14 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

When you exercise, your brain releases neurotransmitters that have pain-relieving properties similar to morphine or codeine.

That euphoric feeling has been called “runner’s high,” but you don’t have to run to release endorphins. Any prolonged continuous exercise will do the trick. From vigorous walking or yoga to jogging and hiking and biking, just about anything that gets your heart rate up and produces sweat will do the trick.

As for the old adage: “No pain, no gain.”

Forget about it. That mentality went out with the 1980s and it should not be the way to get the endorphins flying, especially when you are over 50. Vigorously moving and low-impact exercise can provide you with a workout that will bring about the same pleasure or natural high as you get from eating chocolate or having sex. Endorphins have been known to produce euphoric feelings, reduce stress, ward off anxiety and depression, boost self-esteem, increase libido, decrease appetite and improve sleep. So come on! Can it get any better than that?

Action Step: Before your morning coffee, take a brisk 20-minute walk or jog.

Feel the euphoric feeling that your mind and body produce from just moving.

KNOW YOUR BODY No two people are alike and no two bodies are alike. Because of that, it is vitally important that you really get to know your body. We are living in a time of information overload and it seems like every week, there is a new theory on fitness or weight loss.

With massive amounts of information comes massive confusion.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with looking into everything available and having choices, but there never has been and never will be a “magic formula” for getting your body into shape. Shakespeare was right on the mark when he wrote: “To thine own self be true.” There is no one-size-fits-all solution to being the best you can be. But knowledge is power, and I’m all for anything that can help people live a better life. That starts by

Remember, the basic job of food is to nourish us so that we can get through the day’s tasks. It seems that in today’s world, we have forgotten this basic fact. Most of us have a love affair with food. We use food for entertainment and comfort. We eat when we are happy, sad, angry, tired, lonely or bored. Food was never meant for all these purposes.

In this day and age of supersized and processed fast foods, it’s no wonder we are the most obese country in the world and that childhood obesity is on the rise. Fast food is slowly killing us. I hate to label foods as being either “good” or “bad,” but there is so much conflicting information out there, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Inherently, we know what foods are healthy for our bodies and what foods are not simply by the way we feel after we eat them. Do your research, listen to your body and then make the right choices for you.

Action Step: Stock your refrigerator and pantry with healthy foods so that when you are hungry, you can make a smart choice. And don’t ever go to the grocery store hungry.

incorporating a few healthy habits into your daily routine and then listening to your body to figure out what is working best for you. What works for someone else may not work for you, so get in tune with your body and listen to what it is telling you. Our bodies are amazing pieces of machinery, so learn to listen to yours!

Action Step: Write down or text yourself one healthy habit and one unhealthy habit that you have right now. Make it your assignment to start doing more of the healthy habit while working to eliminate the unhealthy one.

ENJOY YOUR FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD We know that proper nutrition makes a huge difference in how we feel. The food choices we make every day can lead to either feeling good or bad. For me, when I eat healthy foods in the proper quantities, I feel great. That’s not to say that once in a while, I don’t get that nagging sweet tooth going. When I do give into it and eat something sugary, I can feel my system rebel. Nine times out of ten, I will get a headache after eating sugar. While I know this, I sometimes still choose to make the wrong choice. But it is a choice, and by knowing my body, I can decide what to eat or what not to eat, knowing the impact it will have on my well-being.

THINK GOOD THOUGHTS It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Think good thoughts. Yet for most people, myself included, this seems like one of the hardest things to accomplish. Take a look at all the self-help books out there and the magazine articles that tell us in order to be happy, we must “think positive.” Well, it’s true! It is human nature to coddle negative thoughts, which is why the self-help business is flourishing and the personal-growth genre is a cornerstone of the publishing industry.

Why do we constantly think worst-case scenarios? Why do we allow our minds to carry us to places that do not benefit us or those around us? It is human nature, and just as we have to combat physical gravity with exercise, the same holds true with mental gravity. We exercise our bodies on a regular basis to keep gravity from making us soft and droopy. We need to do the same for our minds. According to Dr. John J. Ratey: “There is evidence that the brain works just as muscles do – growing with use, withering with inactivity. Exercise actually sparks new brain cell growth. Getting your heart and lungs pumping can mean the difference between a calm, focused mind and a harried, inattentive self.”

Depression, addictions and attention-deficit problems are all on the rise. Depression affects so many people, it is often called the common cold of mental illness. The Centers for Disease Control estimate that 19 million Americans suffer from depression, and so our mental and emotional fitness is just as important as our physical fitness. Physical fitness can have a tremendously positive impact on our emotional health. The evidence for that is clear. It has been proven that aerobic exercise physically

transforms our brains for peak performance.

Exercise increases levels of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. I certainly know that my mood improves immensely when I work out. You will find the same to be true. So instead of thinking of exercise as something that makes you look better, consider it something that will actually make you feel better.

Action Step: Keep a positive affirmation journal. Write down your favorite quotes and what you are grateful for along with any compliments and praise you receive.

If you ever start to feel down, pull out the journal and be reminded of all the things you have to be grateful for. Another way to get the positive energy flowing is through meditation or just talking to a friend.

Remember, you have the power to change your brain and transform your life. You are stronger than your urges to eat another sweet or let your brain talk you out of a workout. So tap into your transformative power, lace up those running shoes, hit the gym, and change your life!

Meet BetSY Betsy Mendel is the author of the bestseller “Move a Muscle Change a Mood: The transformative power of exercising, eating healthy and thinking positive” (CreateSpace, 2014). She is a certified personal trainer who has been helping her clients look and feel their best for over two decades. Her philosophy for fitness is that as people engage their minds and bodies, they will feel better, sleep more soundly and eat healthier. Based in Southern California, Mendel offers one-on-one personal training and small group training along with nutritional and dietary advice and guidance. For more information or to schedule a session, click on her website at www. betsysbasictraining. com or call (310) 980-1477.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 15

Are you looking for more than what a CD can offer?

16 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

California Eye Doctors Help Legally Blind To See High Technology For Low Vision Patients Allows Many To Drive Again the wet form is caused by blood vessels leaking fluid. Treatment is aimed at stopping the leak and preventing further leaks.

The vision cannot be regained in either type. This is where low vision glasses can help.

Patient using prismatic low While there is currently no vision glasses for reading. cure, promising research is For many patients with being done on many fronts. macular degeneration and “My job is to figure out other vision-related conditions, everything and anything the loss of central visual possible to keep a person detail also signals the end to one of the last bastions of independence - driving.

California optometrists, Dr. Richard Shuldiner and Dr. Harold Ashcraft are using miniaturized telescopes which are mounted in glasses to help Patient using telescopic glasses people who have lost vision to drive and read signs. from macular degeneration functioning” says Dr. Ashcraft, and other eye conditions. a low vision optometrist in Los “Some of my patients Angeles. Even if it’s driving. consider me the last stop for “The major benefit of bioptic people who have vision loss” telescope low vision glasses is said Dr. Shuldiner “most magnifying road signs, traffic people don’t know that there lights and other distance objects are low vision optometrists necessary for safe driving”. who have extensive experience Dr’s Ashcraft and Shuldiner in helping those with vision are members of The International loss.We help people with Academy of Low Vision macular degeneration, diabetic Specialists (www.IALVS.com) retinopathy, RP and other eye and have extensive experience diseases regain function and in working with the visually independence.” impaired.

Imagine a pair of glasses that can improve your vision enough Los Angeles to change your life. Low Vision Harold Ashcraft O.D. glasses may allow you to read, (800) 345-9719 watch television, see sporting www.LowVisionLosAngeles.com events, and even drive.

Orange, Riverside, There are two types of macular degeneration: wet and San Diego counties dry. There is no treatment for Richard Shuldiner the dry form, which is caused O.D., F.A.A.O. by aging, sunlight, smoking, (888) 610-2020 and genetics. The damage in www.LowVisionCare.com ADVERTISEMENT

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BOOK NOW AND RECEIVE 20% OFF. Getting away is always a good idea. And saving 20% when you book early is an even better one. Book your travel at least 14 days in advance aboard many routes across the country and save 20% on a regular adult fare. Other restrictions apply.

Amtrak.com/SaverFares This special offer features our best saver fares. Advance purchase is required a minimum of fourteen (14) days prior to travel. This offer is valid for travel on the following trains only: Southwest Chief, Empire Builder, Coast Starlight, Crescent, Cardinal, California Zephyr, City of New Orleans, Silver Star, Silver Meteor, Lake Shore Limited, Sunset Limited, Capitol Limited, Texas Eagle, and Auto Train. Once purchased tickets are non-refundable. Seating is limited; seats may not be available on all days. Fares are subject to availability. Up to 2 children ages 2-12 may accompany each adult at half fare. This offer is valid for coach seats only; no upgrades permitted. This offer is not combinable with any other discount offer. In addition to the discount restrictions this offer is also subject to any restrictions, blackouts and refund rules that apply to the type of fare purchased. Fares, routes and schedules are subject to change without notice. Once travel has begun; no changes to the itinerary are permitted. Other restrictions may apply. Amtrak, Southwest Chief, Empire Builder, Coast Starlight, Crescent, Cardinal, California Zephyr, City of New Orleans, Silver Star, Silver Meteor, Lake Shore Limited, Sunset Limited, Capitol Limited, Texas Eagle, and Auto Train are registered service marks of the National Railroad Passenger Corporation.

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May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 17 3/30/16 6:46 PM

your Detoxing

past YOUR

PAST

Transform your life from self-sabotage to shining success

By Maryalice Coleman, Founder of the Women’s Growth Network

A

h spring, the time of year we celebrate the renewal and rebirth of the Earth. It is also a time in which we seem to celebrate the possibility of renewal and rebirth within ourselves as well.

With the all too familiar push from Madison Avenue and the medical industry, we are urged to find that self-renewal by detoxing with dietary cleanses, undergoing skin peels and Botox injections, and engaging in all sorts of exercise programs. While these things can all be helpful in making us feel and look better, in many cases they do nothing to provide the detoxing that may be needed to truly find one’s renewal.

There is one type of detoxifying that is rarely mentioned or addressed; and yet, it is one of the most important to focus on in order to truly live and enjoy a happy, healthy and successful life.

If I were to tell you that nearly two billion people on this planet have been exposed to a toxic substance that penetrates to the core of their very being and that they are living with the pain it creates, would you believe me? The news media is seemingly always on top of stories pertaining to Ebola or the Zika viruses. And yet, they rarely report on the physical and mental destruction that results from childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse.

CONNECTING THE DOTS Even in today’s “anything goes” world, addressing sexual abuse is considered too taboo for many media outlets. But this subject needs to be 18 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

addressed with dignity, compassion, and grace – which can be powerful tools to help eliminate the shame and embarrassment that comes with abuse.

Having been a coach, mentor and workshop leader on this subject for more than 20 years, and the author of the book, “Shatter, Shame and Shine,” (BalboaPress, 2014), I have come to believe that nearly one in three girls in the U.S. is sexually abused, accosted or harassed in one form or another, and that globally, that figure swells when we include boys. And yet, no one wants to really address this issue. Because of that, society keeps the veil of darkness on the subject.

No wonder most people do not seek guidance or help. Many grow up ignoring abuse, pretending it never happened or denying it. But we know the long-lasting effects of doing that never magically disappear. They remain – 24/7 – unless addressed.

Some statics say that one-in-three women and one-in-five men has been affected by childhood sexual abuse. It could have been a one-time thing or continuing abuse over the course of many years, causing a hidden shame to swim within the subconscious of the victim and affecting their entire life.

I have made it my life’s mission to help people connect the dots from their hidden past to their present-day situations and relationships so they can know that abuse of any kind can happen within any family from the rich to those in poverty. This is a very personal matter for me, because I was a victim of repeated childhood sexual abuse. Because of that, I am acutely in tune with the fear, shame and embarrassment that

victims carry with them into adulthood. I, like so many others, once believed if I just pushed it all out of my head and never thought of it again, everything would be fine. I was wrong. That avoidance may work for a while, but not for long.

At one point, my adult life was not going very well. The pain of living had brought me to my knees. I spent a lot of time, effort and money in doing things to help myself learn the connection between the abuse I endured as a child and the lingering pain that was making my life crumble. I had a beautiful family (and still do), a magnificent home, money was flowing like a fountain, and I had no want for “things.” To the outside world, I had everything a person could ever hope for. What I didn’t have was “me.” Coming to terms with that fact put me on trajectory of personal growth and development that will never end.

START THINKING PURPOSEFULLY What I learned is that the hidden shame and humiliation of having been abused are penetrating substances that poison one’s understanding of who we really are. Because these poisoning substances can cause the formation of unique coping mechanisms that become deeply embedded in abuse victims – often at the very moment of the abuse – we ultimately reach a point in which our subconscious is in need of a deep detox.

How do you want to feel? How do you want to be? How do you really want to live? What is your spiritual practice? Do you believe in anything

higher than yourself? If so, how do you connect to your divine source?

I ask people to really think about those questions – to think about them with “purposeful thinking.”

Many people who have experienced childhood abuse live by default, in fear or anxiety, and not on purpose. If one does not know how to truly think purposefully, then one lives a life according to the whims of their emotions or someone else’s desires.

We must understand how the brain and the subconscious work together when childhood trauma has occurred. I am a firm believer that educating ourselves about the function of these combined energies will help untangle the mess that keeps us living in self-sabotaging ways. As for therapy, it is good – very good. It helped me. But it only went so far. I was determined to go further in my healing process, and have come to understand that personal growth and development is a lifelong pursuit.

Shame and humiliation are not words one wants to be associated with. The truth is, though, one will act like a puppet – not in control of one’s own life – unless the strings of shame and humiliation are cut. And so, how does one detox from the deeply embedded poisons of self-sabotage and habitual thought patterns that drain energy and confidence?

BEGINNING THE DETOX The subject of childhood sexual abuse, or any type of abuse, is a big ugly wheel with a lot of complicated spokes. To begin a detox, one must go from the inside to the outside to above and beyond.

What do I mean by that? That one must understand that what goes on in our heads creates our outer lives, which, in turn, puts energy into the possibility of rising above the abuse and embracing a life of transformation that will lead us beyond our self-sabotaging beliefs and into a thriving mindset.

Here are a few steps to begin the process of dismantling the negative power of past trauma or abuse within your psyche.

BECOME AWARE When your intuition is shouting and you are not listening, unsettling things keep happening. One remains a victim. What are your relationships like? Is life easygoing or is it filled with trauma and drama? Do you look at others and wish you had their life or relationship stability? Seek awareness. Take notes on your own behaviors and thought patterns. Do not judge them, just observe them. When awareness occurs, we can then seek information to guide and help us.

AWAKEN As you become more aware, you will see patterns that are self-sabotaging or hurtful to others. It is important to wake up to the fact that this is not a positive way to live. Self-sabotage can cost you loving relationships, friendships, a positive work environment, or even the pursuing of your dreams.

The good news is that no one needs to live with the

effects of hidden shame and inner pain that veil the psyche. Our brains are incredible machines that, properly channeled, can change deep-rooted self-sabotaging belief systems and transform them into healthy and positive habits that lead to the peaceful inner life we desire in order to produce the outer life we dream of living.

TAKE ACTION When we get tired of the inner pain that keeps us from truly living, growing, and transforming, we either hit an emotional bottom or we come pretty close to it. That is when there is only one thing left to do: Take action. For some reason, most humans are hard-pressed to heed wisdom and good advice when they hear it; but the pains of life have a way of making us either wake up and take action or, if we ignore them, keep falling down the rabbit hole of victimization. Action, therefore, is required to take responsibility. We must look for help – for people, books, therapies, workshops – anything that will help lead us back to our true self. This action can bring about selflove, which, in turn, gives us inspiration and motivation to understand that what has happened to us does not define us. Action is what it takes to reveal that the deeply rooted shame and embarrassment we have been harboring can be detoxed out of our psyche. You must take action – mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically – to bring about healing.

CREATE PURPOSEFUL THOUGHTS We have upwards of 65,000 thoughts that, every day, bubble up from our subconscious. In many instances, the understanding of our thoughts are unbeknownst to us; and, depending upon the predominant thought patterns we have, we glom onto ones that may make us feel bad without even knowing why. We then blame others or circumstances for our unhappiness and problems, which are, in reality, being fed by our own subconscious. Thinking on purpose is a vitally important skill that needs to be developed. To do that, be mindful throughout each day of your behavior, feelings and thoughts. By doing this, toxins will become exposed. Once you become aware and awake to these inner toxins, the process of changing your thinking begins. It is in our thinking that a new life can then be created. You would be amazed by what purposeful thinking can accomplish. There are newer neuroscience meditations that can help with awareness and thinking patterns. Hypnotherapy may also be helpful, as well as coaching and mentoring.

Detoxifying our subconscious can help us be more content, loving, caring, empathetic and successful human beings. We become more conscientious and aware when the journey of life is greeted with gratitude and growth. When we become more aware and awake to what is holding us back, we can take the proper action to

transform our lives. What is holding you back? If not childhood abuse, then perhaps it is some other toxins that have infiltrated your thought patterns and subconscious belief systems and are stunting your growth and well-being. Remember, every person is meant to have a life in which they can shine. You are meant to shine! So become aware and awake, start thinking purposeful thoughts, take action, and show the world – and more importantly, yourself – just how brightly you can shine!

Meet MARYALICe Maryalice Coleman is the author of “Shatter Shame and Shine,” (BalboaPress, 2014) and the creator of the “Change Your Aim Change Your Life” workshop. An inner-life coach and mentor, her passion, compassion, and effectiveness in helping women around the world to heal their lives and fulfill their dreams, springs from her own recovery from the pain of childhood sexual abuse. In addition to her university degree in applied psychology, Coleman stays current on leading-edge research into neuro-plasticity and the brain’s capacity to outgrow limiting patterns that developed in response to trauma. Through formative experiences, a lifelong pursuit of personal growth and development, and 20 years of facilitating support groups, workshops and mentoring sessions, she has created a process of compassionate, empathetic, and focused coaching.

Her in-depth workshop, known as “The Living Room Effect,” helps educate and inspire women, leading to dynamic, transformational personal growth and development.

For more information on Coleman and her work, click on www.womensgrowthnetwork.com.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 19

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The Hallowed Hall of Must-Knowtables

By Steve Stoliar Illustration by Mark Hammermeister

Mama Cass

Elliot

The name “Cass Elliot” usually triggers two thoughts: That she was the angelically-voiced “Mama” of the legendary 1960s rock group The Mamas and the Papas – and – that she left this world far too early by choking on a ham sandwich. In fact, only the first statement is true – her golden voice did soar above many other female pop singers of the day – while the second statement is patently false, the result of a much-repeated urban myth.

B

orn Ellen Naomi Cohen in Baltimore, Maryland on September 19, 1941, the woman who would go on to become known to the world as “Mama Cass,” was the daughter of a lunch wagon owner and a trained nurse. Her parents, Philip and Bess Cohen, also had a son, Joseph, and a younger daughter, Leah, who, many years later, became a member of the 1980s pop-rock trio, Coyote Sisters.

The Cohens moved to Alexandria, Virginia, where Ellen attended George Washington High School along with another future rock star, Jim Morrison of The Doors. It was while she was in high school that she took on “Cass” as her nickname, most likely inspired by the comedic actress and popular game show panelist Peggy Cass. The name “Elliot” came later, adopted as a tribute to a friend of hers who had died.

While still in high school, Elliot was drawn to acting and appeared in her school’s production of the Sandy Wilson musical, “The Boy Friend.” So dramatically bitten by the acting bug, Elliot dropped out of school before graduation to travel to New York City and follow her performing instincts.

With New York as her base, Elliot toured in a production of “The Music Man” and would often sing during her regular paying gig as a cloakroom attendant in a Greenwich Village club called The Showplace.

The late 1950s and early ‘60s saw the rise of folk singers and, in 1962, Elliot joined up with singing banjo player Tim Rose and another singer, John Brown,

to form a group called The Triumvirate, playing folk music in clubs around Greenwich Village. The following year, Brown was replaced by James Hendricks (no, not that Jimi Hendrix) and the name of the group changed to The Big Three. The group cut a record and released the single, “Winkin’, Blinkin’ and Nod,” through FM records in 1963.

That same year, Elliot married Hendricks, but it was considered a marriage of convenience to help keep him from being drafted during the Vietnam War. Apparently, the marriage was never consummated and they eventually divorced in 1968.

In 1964, The Big Three had become Cass Elliot and the Big Three. Rose went out on his own that same year, so Elliot and Hendricks joined up with two Canadian performers – Zal Yanovsky and Denny Doherty. They called themselves The Mugwumps – and the group lasted all of eight months.

After the breakup of The Mugwumps, Elliot performed as a solo singer, while Yanovsky teamed up with singer/songwriter John Sebastian to form the enormously popular rock group The Lovin’ Spoonful. Doherty joined up with a musical group that called themselves The New Journeymen, which featured singer/songwriter/ guitarist John Phillips and his young wife, singer Michelle Philips.

Doherty told John Phillips that the group would benefit mightily from the addition of his friend and former singing partner, Cass Elliot. At first, John resisted.

An urban myth – perpetuated by Elliot herself – had it that John felt her vocal

This feature is intended for you to clip and give to your children or grandchildren because…they must-know!

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

range was too limited, until, during a trip to the Virgin Islands, she was hit on the head by a heavy piece of copper tubing being used to renovate a nightclub, after which, miraculously, she was able to sing higher. In fact, John’s reluctance to bring her on board was due to his feeling that Elliot – who had a lifelong battle with her weight – didn’t have the “look” to be a part of his cool group.

Eventually, in 1965, he relented.

Since there were now two females in the quartet, The New Journeymen had become an obsolete name. According to Doherty, while searching for a new name, the group was relaxing one night, watching “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.” Carson’s guests that night were members of the Hells Angels biker group. One of them said they called their women “mamas.” Elliot and Michelle immediately said they also wanted to be known as “mamas.” Doherty and John figured that if the women were “mamas,” they might as well be “papas.”

Thus, The Mamas and The Papas were born.

Elliot was considered the most charismatic member of the group, with a terrific sense of humor and a lot of heart. Her powerful, soaring, emotional voice was a major factor in the success and popularity of The Mamas and The Papas.

In 1965, the group auditioned for legendary record producer, Lou Adler, co-owner of Dunhill Records. This led to a recording contract that saw the release of their first album, “If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears,” in December of that year. Their first single, “Go Where You Wanna Go,” met with only modest success, but their second song, “California Dreamin’,” quickly became a Top 40 radio fave, zooming to number four on the U.S. pop charts. The Mamas and The Papas were on their way.

A third single from the album was released in March of 1966, and it became the group’s only number one hit: “Monday, Monday.” That megahit won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with vocals in 1967.

The group released their second album in 1966, entitled “The Mamas and the Papas.” Among its hits were “Words of Love” and “I Saw Her Again” – the latter written by Doherty and John after an affair between Michelle and Doherty the previous year. Michelle and John reconciled, if only temporarily.

The album also generated “Look Through My Window” and “Dedicated to the One I Love,” which hit number two on the U.S. charts in February of 1967.

In June of that year, the group made a memorable appearance at the Monterey International Pop Festival.

In April of 1967, Elliot gave birth to a daughter, Owen Vanessa Elliot, although she never divulged who the child’s father was. Later that year, the group traveled to Europe to perform at the Royal Albert Hall in London and the Olympia in Paris. Unfortunately, when their ship docked in Southampton, Elliot was arrested for having stolen two blankets and two hotel keys during her previous stay in London. In fact, the hotel was more interested in having her pay an outstanding bill. Although Elliot was acquitted, the incident caused significant discontent within the group, the tour dates were cancelled, and the group disbanded – temporarily.

It wasn’t long before the group was back together again, but simmering resentment over the Doherty-Michelle affair led to John, Doherty and Elliot delivering Michelle a letter “firing” her from the group. She was replaced by singer/songwriter Jill Gibson, who had recorded with Jan and Dean.

Elliot left The Mamas and The Papas in 1968 to embark on a solo career, while the reconfigured group limped along, releasing their final album in 1971.

Elliot’s first solo album, 1968’s “Dream a Little Dream Of Me,” didn’t chart that well as an LP, but the single of the same name got a lot of airplay and hit number 12 on the U.S. pop charts. While preparing for her solo debut at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, Elliot went on a six month crash diet, taking her weight down from 300 to 200 pounds. Unfortunately, the diet led to a stomach ulcer and she gained back 50 pounds from drinking milk and heavy cream to soothe the pain.

When opening night came, Elliot was terrified of facing the audience and reportedly took a shot of heroin before going onstage.

Her voice was weak and she was very shaky as she did her best to get through the performance. Reviews were merciless and the show was cancelled after just one performance, which plunged her into a deep depression.

Singer and musician David Crosby, a close friend of Elliot’s, said that in addition to heroin, they also frequently indulged in cocaine, prescription painkillers and downers. But, despite her personal issues of depression and drug use, Elliot continued

recording and also starred in two musical-variety specials, “The Mama Cass Television Show” in 1969 and “Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore” in 1973, as well as making numerous guest appearances on such popular television shows as “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour,” “The Carol Burnett Show,” and the very first installment of “The Midnight Special.”

In 1971, Elliot married German journalist, Donald von Wiedenman. The coupling was doomed from the start and they divorced after only several months.

In 1974, at the height of her solo career, Elliot played two weeks of concerts at the London Palladium. After the last show, on July 28, she called Michelle to tell her how happy she was that she had gotten standing ovations every night. That same night, she died in her sleep, of a heart attack at the age of 32. She was buried at Mount Sinai Memorial Park Cemetery in Los Angeles.

Because a half-eaten sandwich was found in her hotel room, rumors quickly spread that Elliot had choked to death on a ham sandwich – an urban myth completely dispelled by the autopsy, which showed no food present in her esophagus. Nevertheless, this misconception endures.

LEARN MORE • “Dream a Little Dream Of Me: The Life of Cass Elliot”

by Eddi Fiegel (Chicago Review Press, 2005).

• “American Legends: The Life Of Mama Cass Elliot”

by Charles Rivers (Charles Rivers Editors, 2015) • “Dream a Little Dream: The Cass Elliot Collection” CD boxed set (Geffen Records, 1997)

Mark Hammermeister is an award-winning artist. His work is available for purchase at www.markdraws.com May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 23

Kym Karath

Best-known for her role as the youngest von Trapp in “The Sound of Music,” the actress shares memories of her mother and how she has cultivated the attitude and resilience to be the mother of a special needs child

Story and photos by David Laurell

L

ast year marked the 50th anniversary of the release of the classic 20th Century-Fox film, “The Sound of Music.” For those who were around in the spring of 1965, it’s not all that hard to get your head around the fact that a half-century has passed since the film’s debut. What is harder to process is that, by the end of this year, every one of the actors who played the seven von Trapp children will be in their 60s or 70s with the exception of one – Kym Karath, who played the youngest child, Gretl.

Karath, who will turn 58 this August, was already a seasoned screen pro by the time she was cast as Gretl. Before doing “The Sound of Music” she appeared in the feature films “Spencer’s Mountain” with Henry Fonda, “The Thrill of It All” with Doris Day and James Garner, and “Good Neighbor Sam” with Jack Lemmon. After “The Sound of Music,” Karath continued to work, primarily in small roles on classic television programs of the 1970s including “All My Children,” “Family Affair,” “The Brady Bunch” and “Lost in Space.”

By the early 1980s, after being offered what she calls “too many dumb blond roles,” she enrolled in the University of Southern California. After

24 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

graduating USC with a degree in humanities, she moved to Paris, did some modeling work and studied at the Art History School of the Louvre.

While in Paris, she met and married a French banker and, at the age of 26, gave birth to her son Eric, who, shortly after his birth, suffered a medical event that severely damaged his brain.

Today, divorced, living in a quiet Malibu neighborhood and preparing for her second marriage to television and film producer Jeff Apple, Karath has dedicated herself to Eric’s care. She is also the founder of the Aurelia Foundation, which supports Creative Steps, an individualized program for developmentally disabled youths and adults.

The program, designed to provide a safe, caring and enriching environment, offers participants love, support and training that enables them to continue learning, achieve their full potential, and become as happy, skilled and independent as possible.

Passionate about the time and attention she gives to Eric, who is now in his mid-20s, Karath says her ability to nurture stems from the love and attention she received as a child.

“I never aspired to become an actress,” Karath

reveals. “I had no need for attention, because I got tons of it at home. I was the youngest of three, and my brother and sister are 15 and 16 years older than me, so they were like a second set of parents who completely doted on me.”

With a brother who was a singer and a sister who excelled in dance, Karath grew up in a creative environment. And yet, even when she was “discovered” as a young child, the thought of performing had little appeal to her. “My father owned a restaurant on Melrose and Vine in Los Angeles,” she says. “That was where I had my Lana Turner moment. My mother and I were having lunch at the restaurant and some producers came over to our table and asked my mother if I would like to appear in a film. My mother said they would have to ask me.

I told them I would consider it if it didn’t take too much of my time, because I was very busy with quite a few dolls to take care of. The thought of acting just didn’t do anything for me. I wanted to be a baby doctor – a pediatrician. But my mother did follow up with those producers, who were doing ‘Spencer’s Mountain,’ which became my first film and the start of my acting career.”

FROM MOTHERED TO MOTHERING

As for the role of Gretl in “The Sound of Music,” Karath says she has many vivid memories of doing the film, but believes the most remarkable thing about having been involved with the classic musical is how she and her on-screen siblings have all remained so close for over 50 years.

“The thing that is most special to me – just remarkable – is that all seven of us have stayed so close,” she says. “We have always kept in touch, and now, with Twitter and Facebook, we do so with even more frequency.”

Karath says she believes the reason she and her castmate siblings have remained close was due to the bond that formed between them during the film’s production.

“It was a daunting experience,” she recalls.

“A very long shoot that was arduous in that there was a lot to be done: singing, dancing, location work. And on top of that, it was a period film, so it even took longer, because of all the attention that had to be paid to wardrobe and the historical detail. But, even though we were all young, we knew we were doing something significant. I was certainly aware of that. Because it was such a life-consuming production that we knew was important, we turned to each other for support and that has always remained the case.”

MEMORIES OF A LATE-IN-LIFE BABY While recalling her early acting days, Karath sinks into a beige couch in her living room next to an end table that holds a framed photo of an elegant woman in a black and red dress. Explaining that the woman is her late mother, she looks at the photo and sighs.

“She was so beautiful and petite,” she says softly. “She had a very elegant quality. She has been gone for 12 years now. She lived to be 84, but she was like a 60-year-old – very vivacious, vibrant and active. Then she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and six months later, she was gone.”

When it is pointed out that this story will run in May – the month of Mother’s Day – Karath’s face lights up. “I was her late-in-life baby,” she states proudly. “I think she thought she was just getting sick and ended up finding out she was pregnant. From what I’ve been told,” she adds with a laugh, “I was conceived after my parents went to see ‘Never On Sunday,’ which is a Greek film – a romantic comedy that is a bit risqué – and that they left the theatre in an extremely passionate mood.”

Explaining that her parents both really enjoyed having a late-in-life baby, she says she always had an extremely close bond to her mother that continued to get stronger as the years passed.

“Losing my parents was the most excruciating thing that has happened to me,” she reveals. “My dad was only 60 when he passed away. He had a massive heart attack and died in my mother’s arms at a party. After his death, my mom and I became even closer. We didn’t know how we would survive

– emotionally, economically. It was a rough time for both of us – real bonding years. When I think back to that time, the song that always comes to mind is ‘You and Me Against the World.’ That was how we both felt back then.”

Continuing to reflect on her mother, Karath says that, as a young child, she recalls her house always being the epicenter of family gatherings.

“We had this big Greek family and everyone would come to our house,” she says. “Some of the family members were ragtags – real characters who didn’t speak English. I remember thinking they were odd and whiny. Once, I asked my mother why we always had to have all these people at our house. She looked at me and said: ‘They have nowhere else to go.’ She asked me if I thought it would be okay if they were alone and, of course, I said no. She taught me about love and acceptance and loyalty, which are all the things that have become so import to me as an adult – as a parent. I learned about being a mother from her.

I saw how this petite lady could transform herself into a 10-foot-tall lion if any of her children were in trouble. She always had our backs. I remember, during her last year of life, when she knew she didn’t have much time left, she said: ‘I don’t know how you ever became such an incredible mother.’

That really caught me off-guard. I said: ‘Really!

You don’t know? Are you kidding me? It’s all because of what I learned from you!’ ”

As the conversation turns from being mothered to mothering, Karath says she knows that, after having a child with special needs, her mother always hurt for her.

“I kept some things from my mother, because I knew it would hurt her heart so deeply,” says Karath. “She once said that she was very sad that her grandson had to deal with such difficulties and challenges, but that she was also sad for her little girl. She had such a deep empathy for me and we had such a strong connection. I feel her around me to this day and have stories, but people will think I’m odd if I share them, so I’ll keep them to myself, but I do feel her around me very strongly.”

As for her life as a mother: after a normal pregnancy and birth, Karath returned home with a healthy baby boy. That all changed, dramatically, three weeks later when Eric suffered a stroke. “He had a fever and I knew right away it was serious, so we rushed him to the hospital,” Karath explains.

“They initially thought it might be viral meningitis, but could never tell for sure. I remember, three days later, I was alone with him in the hospital room and he started having violent seizures. Then whatever happened was catastrophic. He recovered, but I could tell there was something wrong. His eye contact was off and I knew in my heart things weren’t right.”

Having employed the services of various specialists and therapists since Eric was very young, Karath says she has always mentally stimulated and encouraged him. “There have been vast strides made in working with those with brain injuries,” she explains. “We know far more about the brain today than when Eric was born. We have seen great progress in the way stroke victims can be rehabilitated.”

While Eric’s communication skills are extremely limited, Karath says that, at times, he surprises her by saying a word or even a phrase. “I have a friend whose child didn’t speak till she was 25. So I will always have hope,” she says. “Today, with MRI and PT scans, we can see inside the brain and learn more. We still can’t fix things, but we are learning more every day, and I have great hope in what I am seeing being done with stem cells.”

Encouraged by Eric’s neurologist, Karath says she has appreciated the doctor’s positive attitude in not dwelling on her son’s limitations, but rather on what positive gains are being made and what Eric

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 25

Photo by Julie Ellerton

can do, and may someday be able to do. “We have so much more to learn about brain injuries and it is incumbent upon doctors and parents to keep up to date on the latest research and findings,” she says. “It is so important to take advantage of all the information that is available to us today.”

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ATTITUDE Karath says that when it comes to grandparents of grandchildren with developmental challenges, she feels it is vital that they support their adult child – to always be there for them, embrace acceptance, and reserve judgment. “The most critical component is the emotional one,” she opines. “A family has to come together and be loving and accepting. That is where empowerment comes from. They have to understand that the mother of a child with developmental challenges is dealing with a loss. It is a loss that they will usually make peace with on their own, but it is a loss of what you had expected, and you need to adjust, which is what happens because you love your child. Today, I don’t look at Eric and have any feelings of loss, except for what loss there has been for him. And I still have the hope that someday a miracle may give him all the things this life has to offer. Sure, it has been a loss for me in that I may never have a grandchild and never see Eric experience some of the important milestones of life, but I don’t think about that. In fact, it has given me the opportunity to celebrate the lives of my friend’s children who are going through all the stages of life. I share the joys and sorrows with them.”

Saying she has always been committed to dwelling on the positive aspects of life, Karath believes the most wonderful part of being the mother of a developmentally challenged child has nothing to do with his limitations. “For me, the thing I love the most is Eric’s character,” she says beaming. “I am so lucky to be the mother of someone who is so loving and sweet and amazing.

He is tenacious and strong and uncomplaining in the face of challenges. He is happy in the face of things that are incredibly difficult, and loving in the face of frustrations. He is a wonderful human being, and I am so honored to be a part of this wonderful human being’s development.

That’s where the parental acceptance comes in.

My feelings are no different than what any parent feels about their child. That is an attitude you have to cultivate in order to do this well. I have seen parents of special needs children who didn’t embrace that attitude and it makes for a disaster.”

CULTIVATING RESILENCE Karath says that in order to cultivate the proper attitude and embrace acceptance, one must be resilient. “I am a believer in the power of human resilience,” she says. “I have done a lot of research on this subject and even did a television show awhile back on bouncing back. Everyone I spoke

26 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

to said the same thing: People who are resilient look at things differently. They keep things in perspective. They don’t say: ‘Why me?’ when things don’t go the way they planned. They say: ‘Why not me?’ Asking: ‘Why me?’ is always the wrong question. Just look around. There is a very thin line that separates any of us from others who have challenges and, in some cases, horrific challenges. We have to be humble and very grateful for what we have and accepting of the things we don’t. Look, I would have loved to have had three healthy children, but that was not my fate. Yes, we do create our worlds to some extent, but we also have to have the proper perspective on accepting certain things we have no control of and embracing the right attitude. That is what leads to resilience.”

Prompted by her own need to find a lifelong learning program for Eric, Karath founded the Aurelia Foundation (named after her mother). In her foundation work, Karath has partnered with Lisa Szilagyi, who is a special education teacher at Malibu High School.

“The foundation was established with the goal of creating a day center that offers continuing education to mentally disabled young adults in life skills, recreational activities, vocational training and job support,” Karath explains. “When we started this, we had other parents coming out of the woodwork expressing their need for something

like this, so we found a group of dedicated parents to help form the foundation and establish the program.”

Calling the foundation and program the most important work of her life, Karath says she takes great pride in knowing what help it provides to so many families.

“There have just been so few programs for those with moderate to severe disabilities after they age out of the school system at 22,” says Karath.

“There’s just a tremendous absence of programs that keep lifelong learning going. Lisa is an amazing person, who, like my fiancé Jeff, also has a special needs child. Working with her and other parents has resulted in a program that has been incredibly successful. We are in our third year and have gone from 12 young adults to 50, and now have a waiting list. We hear from people all over the country who contact us, all looking for a similar program. Our hope is to someday have a template to help set up programs around the country – a commitment to lifelong learning and the nurturing of individuals with special needs to provide them and their families with the highest quality of life in accordance with their personal abilities.”

For more information on the Aurelia Foundation and the Creative Steps program, click on www.aureliafoundation.org.

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San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire

May/June

A Preview of Upcoming Events for May/June

eNteRtAINMeNt SUNDAY, MAY 15

Laguna Canyon Rd., Laguna Beach. Dates vary through May 22. Prices vary. (949) 497-2787. lagunaplayhouse.com.

SEX AND EDUCATION Meet Joe Marks, a basketball star whose college scholarship is suddenly in jeopardy when his poorly-written, sexually-charged note to his girlfriend is intercepted during a final exam. Meet Miss Edwards, his high school English teacher on her last day of teaching. In this hilarious homage to educators everywhere, Miss Edwards uses the note to teach Joe a lesson – on life, love and the power of words. Laguna Playhouse, 606

RAPTURE, BLISTER, BURN Girlfriends Catherine and Gwen chose dramatically different paths after grad school. Catherine built a career as a rockstar academic. Gwen became a homemaker.

Decades later, when Catherine returns home to live with her ailing mother, each woman covets the other’s life. San Diego Repertory Theatre at the Lyceum Space, 79 Horton Plaza, San Diego. Prices vary. (619) 544-1000. sdrep.org.

MONDAY, MAY 16 DINNER WITH MARLENE This new play surrounds an actual dinner party in 1938 Paris, with singer, movie star Marlene Dietrich and a fascinating assortment of artists, writers and socialites, as Europe is about to come apart at the seams. Lamb’s Players Theatre, 1142 Orange Ave., Coronado.

Through May 29. Prices vary. (619) 437-6000. lambsplayers.org.

TUESDAY, MAY 17 NEWSIES When publishing titans Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst raise distribution prices at the newsboys’ expense, newsies from across the city to strike. Inspired by the Newsboy Strike of 1899. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through May 29. $25-plus.

(714) 556-2787. scfta.org.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18 AMADEUS Vienna, 1781: The city of drama, intrigue and scandal is abuzz with the arrival of a young Mozart, who can write an opera a week but can’t control his exuberant giggling and notorious libido. Antonio Salieri—until now the royal court’s most lauded musician— recognizes Mozart’s genius, calling him “God’s magic flute.” Pious, wicked, and soon to be guilt-ridden, Salieri tries everything to subvert the success of this enfant terrible. Will that include murder? South Coast Repertory, Segerstrom Stage, 655 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Dates vary through June 5. $22-plus.

(714) 708-5555. scr.org.

TUESDAY, MAY 15

CAMP DAVID

In the tumultuous 1970s, Middle East peace seemed as remote a prospect as it does today. Yet during 13 extraordinary days in 1978, two world leaders, Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, under the watchful and sometimes exasperated eyes of U.S. President Jimmy Carter (Richard Thomas) and his wife Rosalynn, hammered out an agreement that inspired the entire world. Riveting and moving, the story is filled with humor, insight and surprises, as three very different men, find that peace is possible and that hope is always the better choice. The Old Globe Theatre, Donald and Darlene Shiley Stage, Conrad Prebys Theatre Center, 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park, San Diego. $29plus. Through June 19. (619) 234-5623. theoldglobe.org.

30 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

human spirit with a passion that goes straight to the heart. Welk Resorts Theatre, 8860 Lawrence Welk Dr., Escondido.

Through Aug. 7. $49-plus. (888) 802-7469. welktheatre.com.

THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE Follow the escapades of four brave children as they join forces with the mighty lion Aslan to free the land of Narnia from the clutches of the White Witch. LifeHouse Theater, 1135 N. Church St., Redlands. Weekends through June 12. $16-$20. (909) 335-3037 ext. 21. lifehousetheater.com.

SATURDAY, MAY 21 GRUNION RUN Observe hundreds of small silver fish called grunion ride the waves onto La Jolla beaches to spawn. Before hitting the beach, see grunion hatch before your eyes during a special presentation about this mysterious fish. Prepare for cool, wet conditions and bring a flashlight. Scripps Institution of Oceanography, 8622 Kennel Way, La Jolla.

Also June 5. $16. (858) 534-7336. aquarium. ucsd.edu.

COUNTRY LIVE! AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Saturdays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

SUNDAY, MAY 22 CLASSICS AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Sundays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

THURSDAY, MAY 19

THURSDAY, MAY 26

VIVALDI’S FOUR SEASONS Philippe Quint, violin. One of the most beloved works of the Baroque repertoire, Vivaldi’s lyrical masterpiece paints tantalizing pictures of the changing seasons. Then, a full-day excursion up and down the Bavarian Alps, brought to life by Richard Strauss’ “An Alpine Symphony.” Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through May 21. $25-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. pacificsymphony.org.

PICTURES AT AN EXHIBITION Pianist Garrick Ohlsson showcases his musical mastery beginning with Spanish composer Enrique Granados’ “Goyescas,” a substantial six-movement piano suite inspired by the works of Francisco Goya. He follows with Mussorgsky’s virtuosic showpiece “Pictures at an Exhibition.” Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. $25-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. philharmonicsociety.org.

STUPID F**KING BIRD This irreverent, contemporary and funny remix of Chekhov’s “The Seagull,” wages a timeless battle between young and old, past and present, in search of the true meaning of it all.

Cygnet Theatre, 4040 Twiggs St., San Diego.

Dates vary through June 19. $34. (619) 3371525. cygnettheatre.com.

JAZZ AT THE MERC Follow the escapades of four brave children Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $15. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org

FRIDAY, MAY 20 JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR Propelled by a stirring score, by turns driving and majestic, satirical and tender, this musical illuminates the transcendent power of the

SATURDAY, MAY 28 LES SYLPHIDES In this performance, instead of characters with definite personalities and a narrative, we see ballerinas in long white tutus and a danseur in white-and-black velvet, whose movements to Frederic Chopin’s music invoke the romantic imagination to a story of its own. It is the

CALeNDAR

May/June San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire SATURDAY, JUNE 4 COUNTRY LIVE! AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Saturdays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5 TUSTIN STREET FAIR AND CHILI COOK-OFF The day-long event features a chili cook-off, craft booths, food vendors, entertainment, a kids’ area and music. El Camino Real and W. Main St., Tustin. Free. tustinchilicookoff.com.

(714) 573-3326.

LIVE JAZZ ON THE PATIO Whitney Shay. Bernardo Winery, Tasting Room Patio, 13330 Paseo Del Verano Norte, San Diego. Free. bernardowinery.com.

SATURDAY, MAY 21

MY HERO: CONTEMPORARY ART AND SUPERHERO ACTION

This exhibition allows a glimpse into the secret lives of our most loved superheroes through a sprawling collection of artwork. Created in a variety of media by artists from the region and around the world, these interpretations range from dark to humorous and familiar to new. The artists in the exhibition pay homage to these universal idols and present critical questions about their God-like stature as they re-imagine and newly interpret iconic superhero imagery. The Museum @ California Center for the Arts, Escondido, 340 N. Escondido Blvd., Escondido. Through Aug. 17. $8. (800) 988-4253. artcenter.org

music, and the care with which the classic dance embodies it, that tells us the story of these magical creatures who dance in the light of the moon. Annenberg Theater, Palm Springs Art Museum, 101 N. Museum Dr., Palm Springs. Also May 29. $25-$30. (760) 325-4490. annenbergtheater.org

127 Main St., Vista. (760) 726-1122. vistastrawberryfest.com.

TOKYO FISH STORY Sushi Chef Koji built his successful career on respect—for tradition, fine ingredients, and the legends who came before him. But now his restaurant, considered one of the greatest in Tokyo, is losing its customers to newer and flashier places. It’s time for a new generation to take over. Koji’s brilliant protégé Takashi might know how to save the restaurant, if only he could find a way to tell his mentor.

The Old Globe Theatre, Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre, Conrad Prebys Theatre Center, 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park, San Diego. $29-plus. Through June 26. (619) 234-5623. theoldglobe.org.

JUNE

COMEDY AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula.

Saturdays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

SUNDAY, MAY 29 VISTA STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL Pie-eating and other strawberry-related contests, live music and entertainment, a kids’ zone and local craft brews. Carnival rides and street vendors. Downtown Vista,

LIVE JAZZ ON THE PATIO Mojo Sessions. Bernardo Winery, Tasting Room Patio, 13330 Paseo Del Verano Norte, San Diego. Free. bernardowinery.com.

WEDNESDDAY, JUNE 1

remains one of the most celebrated and beloved piano superstars. In his hands, Beethoven’s revolutionary piano concerto is a fitting farewell to the season. Then, Hector Berlioz’s musically enchanting work, inspired by his infatuation with a British ingénue. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through June 4. $25-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. pacificsymphony.org.

HEDDA GABLER The play weaves a mesmerizing tale of a woman trapped in a loveless marriage and driven by a need for power and freedom.

North Coast Repertory Theatre, 987 Lomas Santa Fe Drive, Suite D, Solana Beach. Wed.Sun. through June 26. Prices vary. (858) 4811055. northcoastrep.org.

FIRST WEDNESDAYS Debora Galan and Silk. California Center for the Arts, Escondido, Concert Hall, 340 N. Escondido Blvd., Escondido. Prices vary. (800) 988-4253. artcenter.org.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2 LEON RUSSELL The Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano. Prices vary. (949) 4968930. thecoachhouse ANDRE WATTS PLAYS BEETHOVEN More than 50 years after Leonard Bernstein introduced him to the world, André Watts

SYMPHONIE FANTASTIQUE Uncover the semi-autobiographical story of an artist’s self-destructive passion for a beautiful woman. Hector Berlioz’s symphony describes obsession and dreams, tantrums and tenderness, suicide and murder, ecstasy and despair. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. $25-plus. (714) 5562787. scfta.org. pacificsymphony.org.

THURSDAY, JUNE 9 JAZZ AT THE MERC Expect more comedy, talk show antics, Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $15. (866) 6538696. temeculatheater.org.

FRIDAY, JUNE 10 ROYAL SWEDISH BALLET: JULIET AND ROMEO The company will dance Mats Ek’s compelling and daring version of the world’s most celebrated love story – “Romeo and Juliet.”

Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa.

Through June 12. $29-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org.

AMERICAN RHYTHM Actors, singers and dancers along with a band, journey through the last 100 years of great American music. Lamb’s Players Theatre, 1142 Orange Ave., Coronado.

Through Aug. 7. Prices vary. (619) 437-6000. lambsplayers.org.

FRIDAY, JUNE 3 SAN DIEGO COUNTY FAIR This year’s theme, “Mad About the Fair,” commemorates the centennial anniversary of the 1915 Panama-California Exposition held in Balboa Park, and the great traditions and inventions arising from fairs. Did you know the bicycle, telephone, ice cream cone, Ferris Wheel, and air conditioning were all introduced at a World’s Fair? Favorite rides, food, exhibits, contests and entertainment.

Del Mar Fairgrounds, I-5 at Via de la Valle, Del Mar. Through July 5. Closed Mondays. $8-$15.

(858) 755-1161. sdfair.com.

COMEDY AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Saturdays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

SUNDAY, JUNE 12 CATHEDRAL ECHOES The brilliant young organist Ándras Gábor Virágh, Titular Organist of St. Stephen’s Basilica in Budapest, presents this program interweaving works by European and American composers, including some of his own works.

Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall,

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 31

CALeNDAR

May/June San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. $19-plus.

(714) 556-2787. scfta.org. pacificchorale.org.

CLASSICS AT THE MERC Actors, singers and dancers along with a Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Sundays. $12.

(866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

COMPOSTING WORKSHOP Learn how to use your yard clippings as a resource, naturally achieve a beautiful, health yard and garden and reduce your use of synthetic pesticides and fertilizers. Living Coast Discovery Center, 100, Gunpowder Point Dr., Chula Vista. Shuttle to entrance from parking lot. $9-$14. Sundays. (619) 409-5900. thelivingcoast.org.

MARILYN MINTER: PRETTY/DIRTY For more than three decades Marilyn Minter has produced lush paintings, photographs, and videos that vividly manifest our culture’s complex and contradictory emotions around the female body and beauty. Her unique works—from the oversized paintings of makeup-laden lips and eyes to soiled designer shoes—bring into sharp, critical focus the power of desire. Orange County Museum of Art, 850 San Clemente Dr., Newport Beach.

Wed.-Sun. through July 10. $10. (949) 75911122. ocma.net.

ASAFO FLAGS FROM GHANA On display are 37colorful flags from West Africa dating to the late 19th and 20th centuries, and feature graphic folk imagery and appliquéd designs over a background of

eXHIBItIONs

MYSTERIES AT THE MUSEUM This exhibit features unfamiliar objects from the museum’s anthropology and archaeology, geology, history, and biology collections and challenges visitors to figure out their functions using the scientific method. Some were totally familiar items a century ago; others appear to be commonplace but may not be exactly what they seem. Museum visitors are invited to observe, question, hypothesize, test, decide and share their results by posting notes in the exhibit itself and by using social media. San Bernardino County Museum, 2024 Orange Tree Lane, Redlands. Tues.-Sun. through July 15. $10. sbcountymuseum.org.

THE NATURE OF WATER: OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE This exhibition serves a dual purpose; it presents a selection of superb California landscape paintings and raises awareness of one of California’s historically scarce and precious resources, water. Some 60 works feature scenes of snow, clouds, rain, lakes, rivers and oceans, by 32 artists such as Mischa Askenazy, Franz Bischoff, Granville Redmond, Paul Grimm, Guy Rose and Karl Yens, among others. The Irvine Museum, 18881 Von Karman Ave., Ground Floor, Irvine.

Tues-Sat. through June 16. Free. (949) 4762565. irvinemuseum.org.

32 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

MUMMIES OF THE WORLD Through modern science, engaging interactive and multi-media exhibits featuring 3-D animation, explore how mummies are created, where they come from and who they were. Using state-ofthe-art scientific methodology, discover how modern science enables researchers to study mummies through innovative and non-invasive ways, offering unprecedented insights into past cultures and civilizations.

Bowers Museum, 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana. Through Sept. 5. $10-$15. (714) 5673679. bowers.org.

French roller printed cotton cloth. Asafo flags are displayed at funerals, annual festivals and other ceremonial occasions, where they adorn central shrines and are paraded and waved through villages and towns. Mingei International Museum, Balboa Park, 1439 El Prado, San Diego. Through July 17. $7-$10.

(619) 239-0003. mingei.org.

Get the Word Out. E-mail your announcements to Claire Fadden, cfadden@lifeafter50.com 60 days prior (or even earlier) to your event.

Include a brief description, location, date, time, cost, phone and website. Submission does not guarantee publication.

MINGEI OF JAPAN: TREASURES NEW AND OLD Among donated treasures to be seen for the first time will be important textiles; indigodyed bed-clothes, door-way hangings and kimono belts. A large selection of mostly-19th century Shinto ema paintings will also be exhibited for the first time. These disarming folk paintings depict familiar and exotic animals, vegetables and people. Mingei International Museum, Balboa Park, 1439 El Prado, San Diego. Through Oct. 2. $7-$10.

(619) 239-0003. mingei.org HELEN LUNDEBERG: A RETROSPECTIVE Featuring approximately 70 paintings, this exhibition surveys Lundeberg’s career, beginning with her landmark Post-Surrealist paintings of the 1930s. By the late 1950s Lundeberg was working on a larger scale. She simplified her style into broad, flat areas of color and, though never a pure abstractionist, played a key part in the “hard-edge” tendency in mid-century painting. Laguna Art Museum, 307 Cliff Dr., Laguna Beach. Through May 30.

Closed Wednesdays. $5-$7. (949) 494-8971. lagunaartmuseum.org.

THE LORE BEHIND THE ROAR 100 Years of the San Diego Zoo. Celebrating the centennial of the world-famous San Diego Zoo, this extraordinary family-friendly exhibition tells the story of its humble 1915 beginnings to its evolution as a major tourist attraction and cultural touchstone. Full of interactive features, visitors can ride on a vintage zoo tour bus, hear stories from long-time zoo employees, live the life of a zookeeper, explore the extensive animal and plant collection and learn things they didn’t know about the world’s most popular zoo. San Diego History Center, Casa De Balboa, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. Through Jan. 31, 2017. $6-$8. (619) 232- 6203. sandiegohistory.org.

TUESDAY, MAY 31

NEWSIES

Set in New York City at the turn of the century, this is the rousing tale of Jack Kelly, a charismatic newsboy and leader of a ragged band of teenaged newsies, who dreams only of a better life. When publishing titans Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst raise distribution prices at the newsboys’ expense, Jack rallies newsies from across the city to strike. The musical is inspired by the real-life “Newsboy Strike of 1899,” when Kid Blink led a band of orphan and runaway newsies on a two-weeklong action against Pulitzer, Hearst and other powerful newspaper publishers. Third and B St., 1100 Third Ave., downtown San Diego. Through June 5. Prices vary. (619) 570-1100. broadwaysd.com.

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At This Evening’s Performance

By Nagle Jackson Directed by Andrew Barnicle

JULY 12 – AUG 6, 2017

North Coast Repertory Theatre 987 Lomas Santa Fe Dr., Solana Beach Group Sales: (858) 481-2155, ext. 202 NorthCoastRep.org

For appointment, call (951) 353-9824 Same Driveway as Vista Paint

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 33

Rick Steves’ Travels Luzern: A Swiss Mix of Urban Delights Rick St eveS’ t RavelS

By Rick Steves

O

ffering a striking mountain panorama as a backdrop to Lake Lucerne, Luzern has long been Switzerland’s tourism capital. Since the Romantic era in the 19th century, Luzern has been a regular stop on the “grand tour” of Europe for the likes of Mark Twain and Queen Victoria.

With a charming old town, a pair of pictureperfect wooden bridges, a gaggle of fine museums, an ultramodern concert hall, and its famous weeping lion, there’s more than enough to see and do in Luzern to earn it a place on any Swiss itinerary. It’s also an ideal home base for exploring central Switzerland.

Luzern offers an enticing “I-could-live-here” appeal with its uniquely Swiss urban quality of life. You’ll find efficient buses gliding around town, pedestrian bridges spanning the crystalclear river, a scenic lake plied by an array of cruise boats, and a few choice museums.

Simply strolling the streets and bridges or cruising Lake Lucerne is enough for a happy day of sightseeing, but Luzern also offers fine attractions. Art buffs flock to the Rosengart Collection for its Picasso exhibit; gearheads have a ball at the Swiss Transport Museum; and rock hounds dig the city’s Glacier Garden.

Luzern began as a fishing village at the spot where the Reuss River tumbles out of Lake Lucerne. By the 13th century, with traffic be-

34 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

tween northern and southern Europe streaming through the nearby Gotthard Pass, Luzern became a bustling trading center. All that traffic brought the construction of two river bridges that are now icons of the city.

In the 14th century, the Chapel Bridge (Kapellbrücke) was oddly built across the river – spanning its banks at an angle to connect the town’s fortifications. Under its rafters hang about 100 colorful 17th century paintings showing contemporary and historic scenes. The other famous bridge – Mill Bridge (Spreuerbrücke) – also has fine 17th century paintings and cantonal banners under the double eagle of the Holy Roman Empire, a reminder that the emperor granted free status to the city. The flip side shows a scene of Judgment Day. Another emblematic sight is the Lion Monument (Löwendenkmal). This free, famous memorial is an essential stop if you’re visiting Luzern, if for no other reason than once you get home, everyone will ask: “Did you see the lion?” Open from sunrise to dusk, the huge sculpture (33 feet long by 20 feet tall) is carved into a cliff face over a reflecting pool in a peaceful park.

Though it’s often overrun with tour groups, a tranquil moment here is genuinely moving: The mighty lion rests his paws on a shield, with his head cocked to one side, tears streaming down his cheeks. In his side is the broken end of a spear, which is slowly killing the noble beast. This heartbreaking figure represents the Swiss mercenaries who were killed or executed defending the French king in the French Revolution. The memorial’s

inscription reads: “Helvetiorum fidei ac virtuti” — “To the loyalty and bravery of the Swiss.”

Along with its historic landmarks, Luzern has distinctive modern architecture. On the waterfront is the Luzern Culture and Conference Center, a huge building with an overhanging roof. Lake water is pumped up, into, through and out of this building, so if you were to wander to its far side, you’d see open channels that go right through the middle of the structure.

One of the best ways to experience Luzern is by boat. Gorgeous Lake Lucerne, with a total area of 44 square miles, has a variety of boat routes and destinations (35 stops in all). Cruises range from a one-hour sampler tour around Luzern’s “harbor,” to a full-blown, six-hour exploration to the far end of the lake and back again. Some routes are round-trip dinner or sightseeing cruises, but most boats have scheduled stops and are designed to allow you to get out, explore, and then take the next boat back. Romantics will want to hitch a ride on one of the old fashioned paddleboat steamers.

From its dramatic scenery and quaint oldtown squares to its modern, urban efficiency, Luzern is one of Switzerland’s gems. No visit to Switzerland is really complete without sampling its urban charms.

Rick Steves writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and radio. You can e-mail him at rick@ricksteves.com and visit his website at www.ricksteves.com.

May 2016 LIFEAFTER50.COM 35

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And Finally...

The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

Dead Presidents

By Brady Carlson

S

omeday, you may have your own very special stone. Everyone will know it’s yours because your name will be on it, along with a couple of dates. It’ll be yours for a long time, perhaps forever, but sadly, you’ll never see it in its finished form.

Your stone will, most likely, be just a few feet high or wide, unless, between now and your departure from this world, you were to be elected into the world’s most exclusive clique – one that, to date, has only had 43 members – the U.S. presidency. Then, as “Dead Presidents” author Brady Carlson points out, you could be memorialized with a stone the size of a South Dakota mountain.

Carlson is a curious guy, and when his curiosity is piqued, he tends to go all-out in a search for information.

Years ago, in grade school, he became interested in U.S. presidents and noticed most books are written about “the lives of our leaders.” That led him to wonder about their deaths.

A few years ago, he finally acted on his inquisitiveness with a cross-country journey to the graves of the presidents and their monuments. Beginning with the “Father of Our Country,” Carlson learned that Washington didn’t want a lot of foofaraw upon his death. He really didn’t want a city to be named after him either; so one can only imagine how he’d feel about Washington, D.C. and its tallest monument, which, by the way, wasn’t finished until nearly 90 years after he died.

Every schoolchild knows (hopefully) that John Q. Adams and Thomas Jefferson – friends, rivals, and signers of the Declaration of Independence – both died on July 4, 1826. That’s an eerie coincidence, but Carlson points out that Presidents Ford and Truman also both died the day after Christmas (in different years).

As for the presidential resting places: Carlson revels that Abraham Lincoln’s bones sat in a basement “for almost a decade,” and parts of James Garfield’s skeletal remains are in a museum, remnants of an attempted murder and a trial. One president was exhumed 140 years after he died, one lay in a temporary crypt for “two months longer than his entire presidency,” and, surprisingly, just one (so far) actually rests in the District of Columbia proper.

In just eight months, a new person will sit in the Oval Office. What happened to many of his or her predecessors is the premise behind this fascinating peek at presidential passings.

You don’t have to look much past the title of “Dead Presidents” to know that you’re in for something enjoyably irreverent here, but Carlson isn’t disrespectful. His journey was genuine, as evidenced by places he sleuthed, people he met, and the page-turning information he found along the way. In this tome, you’ll learn about gravesites and places where we only think a president’s remains eternally rest, the circuitous route it took to get some of them to their final resting places, and how our former leaders are remembered, or not.

History buffs will relish this book, trivia lovers will eat it up, and political fans should lobby for it. If you have been enjoying this wild year of presidential politics, chances are good you’ll find “Dead Presidents” to be a stone-cold great read.

“Dead Presidents” by Brady Carlson, 2016, W.W. Norton, $26.95, 324 pages.

The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer who lives on a hill with two dogs and more than 12,000 books. You can read more of her book reviews at www.lifeafter50.com. Just click on “Entertainment” and then “Book Reviews.”

A Look Back

A

s is the case with so many great songs, baby boomers may find it hard to believe that this month marks the passing of 50 years since The Rolling Stones released “Paint It, Black” (ultimately changed to “Paint It Black”). Written

by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, and initially released as a single on May 6, 1966, the song was later included as the opening track to the U.S. version of the Stone’s 1966 album, “Aftermath.”

Ultimately reaching number one on the Billboard Hot 100, “Paint It, Black” became the band’s third number one hit in the U.S. The song’s lyrics, which tell a tale of a mourner attending a funeral through colorful metaphors, were inspired by novelist James Joyce. In Joyce’s 1922 classic, “Ulysses,” the author described the world as being in the grips of desperation and desolation by writing: “I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.” The song, recorded at the RCA Studios in Los Angeles on March 8, 1966, caused debate amongst the band members, who, upon listening to the playback, were so dissatisfied with the recording they considered scrapping it. That thought was reconsidered when Bill Wyman began doing some experimenting on the organ. Deciding on a heavier bass sound with an up-tempo and Eastern-influenced pentatonic melody, “Paint It, Black” was saved, making it the first Stone’s song to introduce Brian Jones use of a sitar.

38 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2016

Just A Thought Before We Go “There’s no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.”

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