Life After 50 August

LOS ANGELES METRO AUGUST 2015

southern california

lifeafter50.com

START SHINING≥≥≥

It’s What You WERE BORN

TO DO

Self-Coaching

FOR SUCCESS REMEMBERING

COCO CHANEL

PAUL ANKA Still Doing It

His Way

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All seniors 62 and over will receive FREE Stretch Run admission, a FREE program and a FREE seat with ID.

Contents

August 2015

10

18

24

28

Cover Profile

Departments

10 Paul Anka

6 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

Still doing it his way.

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of.

Features

8 It’s The Law

Mitchell A. Karasov on mitigating manipulation and mistrust.

18 Today Is Your Day To Shine It’s what you were born to do!

22 Self-Coach Yourself To Become The Best You Can Be The key to a happier and more productive life.

24 The Look Of Life After 50 – Jane Hitchcock A model for retaining style, beauty and grace at any age.

28 The Hallowed Hall Of Must-Knowtables * Coco Chanel Legendary notables that everyone, of every age, should know.

26 Tuned In To What’s On

The best in August television viewing.

31 Let’s Get Out

Looking to get out and about? Our August/September calendar has some great suggestions.

35 Rick Steves’ Travels

The art of tasty tourism.

38 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

A book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

Cover photo by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com All material published within this issue of Life After 50 and on www.lifeafte50.com is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. No individual, advice, product or service is in any way endorsed by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. or provided as a substitute for the reader’s seeking of individualized professional advice or instruction. Readers should seek the advice of qualified professionals on any matter regarding an individual, advice, recommendations, services or products covered within this issue. All information and material is provided to readers with the understanding that it comes from various sources from which there is no warranty or responsibility by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. as to its or their legality, completeness or technical accuracy.

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Editor’s Note...

The True Times Of Our Lives

I

t has been a last minute scramble to get this issue of Life After 50 out and I am singularly the guilty party for that. The reason: Smack dab in the middle of putting this issue together, I took a week off to spend time in New York and Connecticut with people I greatly love.

Few, if any, weeks of my life will be as memorable as being the houseguest of a man who has been my all-time inspiration, attending the wedding of the daughter of another man who, since I was eight-years-old, has been my alltime hero, and spending time with many wonderful people whose friendships are amongst my alltime most treasured.

Following that wonderful week, as the wheels of the plane that brought me back to Los Angeles lifted from the runway of Kennedy Airport, two thoughts ran through my mind. The first: When it all ends for me and the Grim Reaper comes a-callin’, the memories of that week will be among those that will be the most precious and treasured times of my life. The second: There has never been a tangible “thing” created for which I would exchange those times and memories.

Back in L.A. for only a few days, I found myself on the way to the home of Paul Anka to do the photo shoot for this issue. Getting myself into the mood, I listened to an album of his greatest hits during the drive. Somewhere, while traversing the canyons on the outskirts of L.A., his 1975 hit “Times of Your Life” played. I’ve heard that song innumerable times, but during that drive, having just returned from that very special week, Bill Lane’s lyrics resonated more deeply than ever before.

“So gather moments while you may. Collect the dreams you dream today.

Remember, will you remember the times of your life?”

We’ve all heard about the psychological research that suggests, in the long run, experiences provide far more happiness and satisfaction than any possession can ever offer. In that moment, as Anka’s song played and I reflected on the recent memories I had just gathered, I would be truly disingenuous by not wholeheartedly agreeing with that research and also admitting to succumbing to a bit of emotion.

Later that day, as I made mention of Anka’s beautiful home, he shrugged and said it doesn’t matter what kind of house you have or where it is as long as it is a home filled with love. “You get to a certain age and you start to look at life through the prism of what really matters,” he told me.

Yep, I thought to myself when he said that. A magnificent, gold record-filled mansion isn’t a bad place to spend the times of your life. But in the end, even the most spectacular of places and possessions pale against the treasure we collect in memories, fulfilled dreams and time spent with those we love and who love us.

They are the things that truly constitute the times of our lives.

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor-in-Chief David Laurell Associate Editors Steve Stoliar Claire Yezbak Fadden Art Director Michael Kraxenberger Editorial Assistant Max Andrews VP Of Finance Michael T. Nagami Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Linda Lam Billing Supervisor Kacie Cobian VP Of Operations David Comden

To contact our editorial department: (818) 563-1007 davidl@lifeafter50.com

Account Executives: San Diego County/Orange County Phil Mendelson Phil@lifeafter50.com Los Angeles/ Valley/Travel Beverly Sparks Beverly@lifeafter50.com For advertising/distribution inquiries contact: Valarie Anderson (310) 822-1629 x 121, Valarie@lifeafter50.com 5301 Beethoven St., Suite 183 LA CA 90066 Valarie Anderson Valarie@lifeafter50.com 310 822-1629 x 121

Follow us on facebook @Life_After50

©2015 Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved

An August Thought

“Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only.

Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.”

– Coco Chanel

Skincare AFTER 50

DERMATOLOGIST SPOTLIGHT O’Connell Der matology is dedicated to patients achieving visible results BROWN SPOTS BE GONE More than 71 million Americans suffer from rough dark/brown spots on their skin, which are often diagnosed as seborrheic keratosis.

These blemishes are a rising concern among those over 50, and O’Connell Dermatology offers specially tailored Clearista facials and applications to address these brown spots and improve the skin’s appearance.

SOLUTIONS BY A MEDICAL AESTHETICIAN Penny Johnson is the Medical Aesthetician at O’Connell Dermatology and offers a personalized and professional approach in helping to improve skin health. She develops

CLEARISTA CLEAR The latest technology in skin care takes your appearance to a whole new level.

T

he skin resurfacing cosmetic line called Clearista ®

promises a new way to address skin and improve the appearance of fine lines, roughness, brown spots,and signs of premature aging. Created by Skincential Sciences, a San Francisco biotech cosmetic company, Clearista is a scientifically proven and patented solution aimed at making your skin look

med spas alike as this season’s must-have skin care cosmetic line.This latest innovation represents a new paradigm in skincare that aims to resurface the skin in a highly effective and gentle manner by using only water-based ingredients.

The advanced formulation is a co m p lete ski n re -t e xt uri z i ng cosmetic solution, enabling skin softening and smoothing benefits with results often

younger.

in O, The Oprah Magazine, Cosmo, and other California publications, Clearista is being adopted by dermatologists and

At its core, Clearista works to retexture the outer surface of your skin. The formula enables increased hydration and resurfacing to happen, resulting in a reduction in the appearance of unsightly blemishes and roughness. The scientifically proven

solution

helps

skin

appear younger and softer without causing irritation or damage.

The

Clearista

customized skincare programs for all skin types, making sure to stay on top of the latest research and trends. Her areas of expertise include treatments for tightening, toning and brightening of the skin, fine lines, wrinkles, sun damage, acne and hyperpigmentation.

BREAKTHROUGH SCIENCE

Professional

line is available through select spas and dermatology offices, with premium home solutions

Users rave about results, claiming “There’s nothing quite like it!” And it seems others are taking notice. Featured

thought to be achievable only with lasers, dermabrasion, and chemical peels.

When asked, Penny shares her vision for each patient: “My goal is to make every one of my clients feel like she or he is with a friend. Every client’s program is designed for his or her personal skin needs. I love making people look and feel good about themselves.”

Book your appointment with O’Connell Dermatology for the best in skincare treatments and for a chance to try the Clearista Professional skincare line.

23451 Madison Street, Suite 190 Bldg.7 In Torrance 310-373-6952 www.oconnelldermatology.com

also available at CLEARISTA. com. Clearista products are cruelty-free and contain no ABOVE: Before and after brown spot (seborrheic keratosis) removal with the Professional Clearista Refining Pen, 2 months post treatment

parabens

or

synthetic

dyes

or fragrances. Products are environmentally friendly and manufactured in California.

—KRISTIE COLÓN

Penny Johnson, Medical Aesthetician, O’CONNELL DERMATOLOGY

50

The United States Of Youth And Diversity

A

Plus

What You Need To Know

By Claire Yezbak Fadden and Max Andrews

Read All About It! A Generational Divide

F

ifty-plussers and their children get their news about politics and government from widely different sources, according to a recent study conducted by Pew Research Center. In “Millennials and Political News,” researchers discovered that over 60 percent of online millennials rely on Facebook for political news in a given week. Compared to baby boomers, who tune in to local television news channels as their top choice at nearly the same 60 percent rate.

The analysis suggests that millennials hold a relatively low reliance on local television for political news (37 percent). Fifty-plussers echo those comparatively low numbers with their reliance on Facebook (39 percent) as a viable news source. When selecting topics they are most interested in from a list of nine possibilities, about one in four millennials (26 percent) selects politics and government to be in their top three. That is lower than both gen Xers (34 percent) and baby boomers (45 percent).

Millennials also are less familiar with many of the media sources asked about in the survey, which range from USA Today to Slate magazine. To read the complete report, click on www.pewresearch.org.

Fifty Candles

F

ifty years ago this month, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act of 1965 into law; Singapore gained independence from Malaysia; a six-day riot started in the Watts section of Los Angeles; the Beatles visited Elvis Presley at his Bel-Air home; the American Football League awarded its first expansion franchise to Joseph Robbie and actor Danny Thomas, who named their team the Miami Dolphins; astronauts Gordon Cooper and Pete Conrad completed 120 Earth orbits in Gemini Five and legendary baseball player-manager Casey Stengel announced his retirement after 55 years in the sport. Notable personalities born in August 1965 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include actresses Viola Davis, Marlee Matlin, Kyra Sedgwick and Dina Spybey, actors Kevin Dillon and Chris Burke, country singer Shania Twain and author Blake Nelson.

6 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

mericans born between 1982 and 2000 now number 83.1 million and represent more than one quarter of the nation’s population. Their size surpasses the 75.4 million baby boomers, according to new United States Census Bureau estimates released recently. These latest population estimates examine changes among groups by age, sex, race and origin, nationally, as well as in all states and counties, between April 2010 and July 2014. Overall, millennials are more diverse than the generations that preceded them, with 44.2 percent being part of a minority race or ethnic group. Even more diverse than millennials are the youngest Americans: those younger than five years old. In 2014, this group became the majority for the first time, with 50.2 percent being part of a minority race or ethnic group.

Style Never Goes Out Of Style

A

ngela Hill, a lifestyle columnist for the Bay Area News Group, recently pressed wardrobe consultants Brenda Kinsel and Adena DiTonno for their tips on staying stylish after 50. Among the suggestions they offered 50-plusers: • Cool it with the trendiness. When it comes to the latest trends, Kinsel suggests that one incorporate the 50-percent solution. “Just a little bit of a trend goes a long way. Cut the trend back to just one touch of something in a belt or a shoe. You’ll be showing you’re still engaged in the trend, but not overdoing it.”

• Show some flair. “Flared jeans are back,” says DiTonno. “They’re terrific for women over 50 – really flattering. But don’t go crazy with jeans that have decorations and studs.”

• Get framed! “Cool glasses are on-trend,” says DiTonno. “Stylish eyewear can do everything to update a look. Visit a place that has current styles, which might not be your ophthalmologist.”

• Take a powder on the makeup. “For women over 50, less is more,” Kinsel says. “That doesn’t necessarily mean fewer products, but less use.”

• Kick it up. “They don’t have to be Jimmy Choo or Prada, but don’t give up on fashion when it comes to footwear,” says DiTonno. “You can get comfort and support without looking like you’re wearing nurse’s shoes, which are fine if you’re a nurse, but not otherwise.”

A Little More You Need To Know Photo courtesy of Minnesota Historical Society

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month

Take Your Best Shot

A

ugust is National Immunization Awareness Month, the perfect time to promote vaccines and remind family, friends and coworkers to stay up to date on their shots.

Some adults incorrectly assume the vaccines they received as children will protect them for the rest of their lives. Generally this is true, except: • Some adults were never vaccinated as children.

• Newer vaccines were not available when some adults were children.

Where You Need To Go

• Immunity can begin to fade over time.

Step Back In Time To 1968

• As we age, we become more susceptible to serious disease caused by common infections (such as flu and pneumococcus).

he Vietnam War, protests and assassinations were in the news. Peace signs, love-ins and psychedelic rock were the scene. The year was 1968, a turning point for a generation coming of age and a nation at war.

From its darkest hours to the incredible highs, the year 1968 comes alive in an extraordinary new exhibit at the Bowers Museum in Santa Ana. This exhibition explores 12 months of relentless, culture-shifting, life-changing, memory-stamping events. This ambitious multimedia exhibit looks at how the events of that year fueled a persistent, if often contradictory, sense of identity for the people who were there, as well as for those who came after. The sights and sounds of this mediasaturated age fill the exhibit and stories from the people who were there. Three interactive lounges focus on music, design, movies and television.

Organized chronologically by the months of the year, the 5,000-square-foot exhibit begins in January with a Huey helicopter (the kind flown in Vietnam) inside an avocado-green living room designed from a 1968 Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Visitors can cast a presidential vote for Richard Nixon or Hubert Humphrey on a 1968-era voting machine; stand next to a life-sized reproduction of the Apollo Eight space capsule, and view clothing worn by Jimi Hendrix and the “Laugh-In” cast.

Learn about hippies, counter-culture movements, women’s liberation and social movements. Examine album covers from 1968, and have the opportunity to design a cover of your own. Use your mobile device to access an online calendar of 1968 events, film footage and oral history excerpts at www.the1968exhibit.org.

According to the Center for Disease Control, every adults needs:

T

• An influenza (flu) vaccine every year.

• A Tdap vaccine once if they did not receive it as an adolescent to protect against pertussis (whooping cough), and then a Td (tetanus, diphtheria) booster shot every 10 years.

Other vaccines you may need as an adult are determined by factors such as age, lifestyle, health conditions, job, international travel and any previous vaccines you have received.

Not sure what vaccinations you need? Click on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website at www2.cdc.gov/nip/ adultImmSched/ and take a quick quiz for the answer.

Bowers Museum, 2002 N. Main Street, Santa Ana. Through September 13. $12.

(714) 567-3679. www.bowers.org.

New Words

Y

ou might not find them in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean.

Dramedy: A movie or television show that combines elements of comedy and drama.

Sharrow: A pavement marking using a bicycle symbol and two white chevrons. The marking is used to remind motorists that bicyclists are permitted to use the full lane. Sharrows are found on streets where there are no striped bicycle lanes.

Swapportunity: A chance to barter or swap for goods or services instead of paying cash.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7

Did you use marijuana when you were younger?

It’s The Law Mitchell A. Karasov

Mitchell A. Karasov, Esq. has offices in Los Angeles, Ventura County and the Coachella Valley. He specializes in elder law with emphasis in estate planning, Medi-Cal eligibility, trust administration, probate, conservatorships of person or estate, estate and trust litigation and financial abuse litigation. For more information click on www.karasovelderlaw.com or call (818) 508-7192.

or

LATE-LIFE DEPRESSION For those who are suffering from feelings of depression, sadness, hopelessness, memory loss, concentration difficulties, lack of energy, or loss of interest and pleasure in activities; UCLA is conducting a 12-month research study using an experimental combination of two drugs and a placebo (an inactive substance).

If you are 60 years of age or older, not currently receiving any psychiatric treatment with effective medications, you may qualify. Medical and psychiatric evaluations and limited physical exams are provided as part of the study. Participants will undergo a PET scan and an MRI scan.

Evaluations and study drug are provided at no charge.

For more information, call UCLA at: (310) 983-3375.

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8 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Do you smoke cigarettes now but never used marijuana If you are over 55 years old you may qualify for your research study.

For more information please contact: DrugStudyUCLA@gmail. com or call 310-794-1021 Upon completion, you will receive $150 Study conducted by CA Burggren, Ph.D. UCLA Dept of Psychiatry

Mitigating Manipulation and Mistrust

Q

My mom passed away last month. During her brief illness, she had named my brother as her power of attorney so he could pay her bills. I knew she had made a will that named him as the first executor with me as the second and that everything she owned was to be evenly divided between us. I was always okay with my mom having put my brother first to execute the will, because he is better with money issues than I am.

My problem is that I don’t trust my brother’s wife. I think she may have manipulated him into buying her a car and other expensive items with my mom’s money before she died. I understand the will must be probated, but during this process, how can I be sure that I will be protected? Should I bring up my concerns and ask that my brother be removed as executor? I would also like to know if I have any other options to make sure my brother won’t cheat me to keep his wife happy.

A

First, please accept my condolences on your mother’s passing. Secondly, let me say that the mistrust you have of your sister-in-law may not be unfounded. Your mom may have had similar concerns and that is why she chose a will over a trust. Unlike a trust that requires no court involvement, a will, for most estates, requires court-oversight from the very beginning to the disbursements of the bequests. The process includes submitting the original will for safekeeping by the court. Your brother will have to file documents to ask the court to approve the will and his appointment as the executor of the estate; report estate assets and their appraised values, as well as any income or expenses during his administration of the estate; and ultimately, close out the estate by distributing the respective inheritance shares. Generally, this process can be handled within a year, assuming a qualified attorney is representing the executor and there are no complications with assets or family feuds.

Although there are many safeguards in the system, you may want to pursue additional protective measures. You could request that your brother be bonded. The bonding company would reimburse the estate if he is found to have mismanaged the finances. Also, the court may order that all sales be court-supervised. This would help to avoid or minimize the risk of any sales for below-market values. If you really think that he did buy items for his wife with your mom’s money or did anything else improper while serving as power of attorney, you could request that your brother account for your mom’s income and expenses prior to her passing. If it is found that he did mishandle funds, he could be disqualified as an executor. If that were to happen, you would be the next in line to ask the court to be appointed as the executor. That would eliminate the risk of your brother cheating you, and also put you on the hot seat to manage the estate properly. Since you mentioned that your brother was better with money issues than you are, I would want to know if that means you’re not good with handling money. If that is the case, I would suggest you hire an attorney who routinely handles cases such as yours. It sounds like you may need a lot of assistance in the process in case of potential attacks by your brother.

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Cover Profile

Paul anka Still Doing It His Way Story by David Laurell * Photos by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com 10 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

W

hile the awarding of accolades for achieving “legendary” status are, today, legendary in their own right by their hyperbolic overuse, the term more than accurately applies to Paul Anka who, as a singer, songwriter and musician, has sold more than 90 million copies of his 126 albums and 22 Top 20 hits, five of which he scored before he was 18-years-old.

If that achievement alone didn’t qualify Anka for legendary status, consider that he has also been named the 21st most-successful artist in Billboard’s history, is the only artist to have a song in the Billboard Top 100 during seven consecutive decades, is the lyricist of one of the world’s greatest ballads – “My Way” – and the composer of one of the most recognized theme songs in television history – the theme for “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.”

The Canadian-born Anka formed his own vocal group, The Bobbysoxers, when he was just 13 and, before his 16th birthday, released his first single, “Blau-Wile Deveest Fontaine,” followed by “Diana,” which hit Number One and made him a star. The youngest entertainer to ever perform at the Copacabana, a de facto mascot and associate of the Rat Pack, and the cowriter of Michael Jackson’s posthumous Number One hit, “This Is It,” Anka’s legendary status as one of the most prolific and versatile singer/songwriters of all-time has been secured and is brilliantly recounted in his New York Times bestselling autobiography, “My Way” (St. Martin’s Press, 2013).

Still performing to worldwide audiences, the man who, along with “Diana,” gave the world such hits as “You Are My Destiny,” “Lonely Boy,” “Put Your Head On My Shoulder,” “Puppy Love,” “Having My Baby,” “One Man Woman, “I Don’t Like to Sleep Alone,” “Nothing Stronger Than Our Love” and “Times of Your Life,” recently invited Life After 50 to spend a day with him at his magnificent home on the outskirts of Los Angeles.

We began our visit with the musical icon, who turned 74 on July 30, by asking what he learned about himself by writing his autobiography.

Paul Anka (PA): I don’t think I really learned anything about myself I didn’t know, but it was a very cathartic experience. As I got into it, I would think about where the time has gone and about all the people with whom I’ve shared so many moments and memories. life After 50 (lA50): The novelist and literary critic Malcolm Cowley once wrote of f. Scott fitzgerald, and i’m paraphrasing, that his novels were written from the perspective of a man who had taken the most beautiful girl to a formal ball and, at the same time he was whirling her around the ballroom in white tie and tails, he was also a little Midwestern boy peering through the window and wondering how much it cost to attend such an event. one can’t help but imagine you in that role as they read your book.

PA: Right, right. Which would be the same analogy I use in the opening of the book, in which I write that I felt like Henry Hill in “Goodfellas,” who says that as far back as he could remember, he always wanted to be a gangster – to live out a fantasy. lA50: it should come as no surprise that one of the world’s premiere songwriters would also write one of the most entertaining and compelling books about the early days of rock ‘n’ roll, vegas, the mob, the rat Pack and the music industry. it is very evident in reading your book that you love the process of putting your thoughts and stories into written form.

PA: Well, thank you. Yes, that’s true. The writing aspect of my life has always been very important to me. I had once considered becoming a journalist and, in fact, did work for a newspaper for a while. Writing was always my

foundation and it has allowed me to survive through every decade of my career. When I stared out, there were always guys around who sang as well or better than me, and I wasn’t one of the good-looking little pretty boys. I was a writer who became a good singer and entertainer as time went by. But without the writing, I frankly don’t know if any of my success would have happened or where I would be today. lA50: So one must believe that a person who loves to express himself by writing as much as you do must have a novel sitting around in that proverbial bottom dresser drawer that every writer has?

PA: [laughs] Let’s just say there are a lot of notes and potential ideas.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11

lA50: Ah-ha! So we can look forward to a Paul Anka novel at some point, yes?

S E N I O R R E W A R D S P RO G R A M Entertainment Enjoy free shows at Infinity with one guest every Tuesday at 1 pm with your Privileges Card with 60+ Club sticker.

Captain Cardiac

Cash and Carter

The Country’s Premier Rock & Roll Party Show

A Tribute to Johnny and June

August 11 James “King” Kruk

August 4 Walk Like A Man A Tribute to Frankie Valli and the music of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s

A Tribute to Elvis

August 18

August 25

Cash Giveaways Win a share of $300 * in cash every Tuesday and $1,200 * in cash every Thursday at Infinity.

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Dining Receive a 30% discount at our award-winning Choices, The Buffet, every Tuesday and Thursday from 11AM – 3PM.

Rewards Sign up for your FREE membership at our Privileges Center and enjoy member rewards. If you already have a card, be sure to pick up your 60+ Club card sticker.

FREE BINGO EVERY THURSDAY! Win your share of $1,200

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FREE admission packet for 60+ includes: · 1-Early Bird 2-On · 1-3-On for all regular session games · 1-Special Pala “P”1-On

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PA: Maybe. lA50: Because you’ve always had such a passion for songwriting, i’m sure few things have meant more than hearing someone you admire sing your words. You write in your book that when you first heard Sinatra’s recording of “My Way,” you actually cried.

PA: Absolutely. He, of course, recorded that song as his career was coming to an end. Here was a guy who had so greatly inspired and impacted me, and so many artists, and society itself. When I was a kid, I idolized him and the Rat Pack, because there had never been anything else like them. And Frank was the guy. When I was staring out, all the young singers wanted to be like him. And years later, I remember sitting with him at dinner one night and he mentioned

that he was thinking about retiring soon. He had always asked me to write something for him, but when he mentioned he was going to retire, that was the motivating factor for me to write “My Way.” So I sat down at my little electric typewriter at one in the morning and asked myself what Frank would want to say at that point in his life and career. Then that first line came, which says it all: “And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain.” After I had that line, it just all came out. I wrote it as if he was writing it – using his jargon. “I ate it up and spit it out.” That was him. lA50: You wrote “My Way” as Sinatra’s theme song, but so many people have adopted it as their own. That must be hugely gratifying for you.

PA: It’s wonderful. Yes, Frank inspired me to write it, but people have grabbed it and used it in different ways that are very personal to them, which is very touching. I have been very moved by that. Warren Buffett, who is a wonderful friend, once told me he wanted “My Way” sung at his funeral, so I told him we would record him singing it, which we did. And that recording is now tucked away and no one will hear it till he’s gone. lA50: When it comes to living life on one’s own terms, you made a comment in your book that many teen idols have had a tough go of that – that they just couldn’t keep up the success or even keep their lives together as they got older. That never happened to you. You escaped the pitfalls that claimed the careers, and even the lives, of so many singers who hit it big when they were very young.

PA: Well, like I said, I have had a lengthy career largely because I’m a writer. Many of the other singers in the early 1960s didn’t have that going for them. I think Bobby Darin and I were the only two. So, because we wrote songs, we were even able to survive the British Invasion that bounced so many singers of the time off the radio. lA50: in your book, you masterfully tell stories of so many of the legends you knew and worked with – elvis, Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr. – in a way that clearly relays your admiration and respect for them, and yet doesn’t gloss over their all-too-human frailties.

PA: Well, my book isn’t an “as told by” story. It’s by a guy who actually lived it and was there. So for what may or may not be my only shot at telling my story, and their story, I didn’t want it to be fluff. I wanted it to be totally honest. There was no reason not to do that, because none of us are perfect and there really isn’t anything in my book that betrays any confidences. Yes, these guys were legends and icons – the likes we will never see again – but they were also just human beings and when they started out, they weren’t sophisticated or prepared for the kind of success they achieved. When you are thrown into that when you are young, hopefully, during your journey, you come to learn things and gain the wisdom and wherewithal to handle that kind of success. But for some, that never happens. Hey, they all made mistakes, so I wanted to tell their story as I saw it. I approached my book with blatant honesty, the way Donald Trump is conducting his presidential campaign. He’s just telling it like it is, or at least the way he sees it, for better or for worse. I think the reason he has resonated is because people are sick of being fed so much bullshit. They are tired of being had by the government – by politicians. lA50: only a skilled writer like yourself could refer to someone as being bizarre, odd and remarkable all in one sentence; which is how you describe Trump.

PA: [laughing] Right, right. I have known Donald for years. I admire the business – the empire – he has built, and also that he is who he is, take him or leave him. He has never been any other way and he has always been very good to me. So I make no judgment of what he is doing. He is the kind of guy who is always going to do what he wants to do and not care what anyone thinks. He’s his own man, and we’ll see how that all shakes out. He’s like so many of those high-end big boys who conduct their lives the way they chose and just let the chips fall where they may.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 13

lA50: Getting back to music, it’s interesting that you say you have an appreciation for today’s music, even though you don’t get it. That, of course, puts you in the vast majority with just about anyone over 30. But let’s talk about that. Why is it that people continue to embrace new films and books and plays throughout their lives, but their musical tastes seem to totally arrest at some point, usually in their early 30s?

early and take care of whatever work has to be handled and then I do something with my son. We play ball or do something together. That is very important to me.

PA: I think it’s understandable. The framing of a play or a book or a movie is always basically the same, but music changes dramatically – lyrically and technically and in the way it is presented. I also think that music is based on each generation having something to call their own. If every generation doesn’t have a personal ownership of their music, they won’t accept it. Music is a very personal thing and everyone wants to embrace something they can call their own. As an artist myself, I do appreciate what an artist of any era creates, but today’s music just doesn’t appeal to me, as it doesn’t to most people my age. It just doesn’t compute in my brain.

PA: Well, different only because the dynamic is different. I would say my core parenting is the same, but today I do have more time than I did when my girls were young. And he’s a boy – so that makes a difference, too.

lA50: Speaking of music that computes in our brains, if you were to ask most anyone, even loyal viewers of David letterman or Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy fallon, to hum their theme songs, they couldn’t do it. And yet, you would be hard-pressed to find a baby boomer who wouldn’t recognize Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show” theme within the first four notes.

PA: Well, the objective with that was to create, in about 10 seconds, something people would identify and relate to. I think, today, it has maybe gotten cool or hip to do theme songs that don’t lend themselves to a melody. lA50: Why did fred de Cordova, who produced “The Tonight Show,” or Carson himself, or whoever had the final say, come to you to do the show’s theme song and not to Skitch Henderson, who was the show’s musical director?

PA: They did originally go to Skitch, who ran the entire music department there, but it was Johnny who made the decision to use my composition. So here’s the story: Years before, I had hired Johnny as a comic for a show I did in Europe. And then, when he got “The Tonight Show,” he and I were talking and he mentioned that he needed a theme song. I told him I was both the wrong guy [not wanting to step on Henderson’s toes] and the right guy to do that. So I went forward and made a demo, sent it to Johnny, and he really liked it. But then, when he took it to Skitch, he got the pushback. Skitch said: “What are you crazy! I do the music for this show!” So, as the story goes, Skitch wasn’t going to accept it. Knowing that, I came up with an idea. I gave half of the song’s rights to Johnny and it went on to be the theme, because he was the final say and because money talks [laughs]. lA50: in the 1970s, you did a string of duets that went on to be hits with an amazing singer you introduced to the world – odia Coates.

How did you two meet?

PA: Odia was a great singer and a great person. I found her when I was looking for the right person to do “Having My Baby.” That song was quite controversial back then. We knew it would be and we promoted the controversy of it, which helped make it a hit. I knew it would make for a great duet and I put the word out that I was looking for a singer. So we found Odia, who was singing with a gospel group, and we brought her in to test and she was just great. lA50: What a shame we lost her so young. Who knows, had she lived, what she may have achieved as a solo artist?

PA: Very true. She really did all she could to bravely fight breast cancer. I do believe she would have gone on to have had a great career. She had a great style, a great voice, she had the looks – just everything. It was a tremendous hit to lose her. lA50: Paul, can you give us an idea of what a typical day is like for you when you’re not on the road performing?

PA: All my business operations are now run out of my home. That is because I have a 10-year-old son, Ethan, and my life is dedicated to him. So, I get up

14 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

LA50: Do you find yourself to be a different father to Ethan than you were to your older girls?

lA50: let’s talk about how you keep in such great shape. Diet? exercise?

PA: I do exercise. I’ve always been a bit of a health nut. I have always taken good care of myself. You have to make choices of how you want to live. If you fuel up with the right things, it makes a huge difference. I’ll have a glass of wine now and then, but I’m not a big drinker. I’ve seen the toll drinking has taken on too many friends of mine. I’ve never been a smoker. I take some select vitamins and I keep active. And I think it’s also about maintaining a lack of drama and stress in your life. Those things can really take their toll on you.

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lA50: When we were doing the photos of you out by your pool, we were talking about your beautiful home and you said it doesn’t matter where you live as long as your home is filled with love.

PA: Right. To me, one of the great words is “home.” You get to a certain age and you start to look at life through the prism of what really matters. Stuff that used to matter doesn’t matter anymore. The gold records and the awards, they’re great, but what really matters is the love you have for your family and the people you care about. I know people of great means – billionaires – who come home to houses without love. When I walk into my home, I feel the love of my children and my grandchildren and my fiancée. There is nothing else like that. lA50: You write so poignantly about watching Sinatra and Dean and Sammy age. Have you yourself adopted any philosophy on aging?

where you get to give them something and they give you something in return.

I look at people who talk about retiring and I think: They don’t have to retire.

They’ve already retired by just thinking about it. I say if you stand still, if you don’t keep moving, they will throw dirt on you. lA50: one last thing. Any regrets?

PA: [laughs] I’ve had a few, but they really are too few to mention. I would really have to think about something I’ve truly regretted. Of course there have been some business decisions I’ve made and some things that have happened in my personal life that I wish I had done differently. That’s the case with everyone. But I’ve always looked at life as a journey on which we all make mistakes and you just have to do all you can to keep them at a minimum. So sure, I’ve made some mistakes and have some little regrets, but really, they are too few to mention.

PA: Well, time becomes our biggest asset as we get older, and so every day becomes more precious. Every day is a gift.

LA50: You’ve said that, for you, there will be no final curtain from performing – that as long as you have your health, you’ll never retire.

PA: Right. I’ve learned, that when you do what I do, you can’t leave it. Every time I’ve seen someone retire, they’re gone within a short time. Why would anyone want to retire from a business where, if you are still healthy enough and able to perform at a proper level, you get to entertain people who cheer you –

16 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Paul anka will be appearing in concert at the Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills, California on Sunday, november 22 at 8:00 p.m. For information on purchasing tickets, his latest album, “Paul anka Duets,” and his book, “My Way,” click on www.paulanka.com.

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August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 17

Special to Life After 50

by Meryl Hartstein

TOdAY IS YOUR dAY TO START SHINING… IT’S WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO dO! No matter what adversities life may throw in your path, every day offers you the chance to change your life and shine

W

hen I first began writing, I would write about the challenges and difficulties I faced throughout my life and I would go over and over all the descriptive details so that I would never forget what I survived and, more importantly, never allow myself to be a victim again.

My mother was an interesting character, an abusive one in both words and actions. As a child, writing was my escape from her, my safe place where I could be myself and express myself in ways I otherwise couldn’t.

My life went from a childhood of emotional adversity to one of many other adversities. From an abusive marriage to an alcoholic to surviving cervical cancer, from being a mother of a drug addict to a grandmother of a special-need’s child, these adversities served as life-changing lessons for me.

And, although my life’s path has been a rocky one, given a choice, I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. My belief is that our challenges are given to us for a reason. For me, I survived those challenges, and I know that I was meant to have them in order to help others. That is my passion and my purpose.

A JOURNEY TO SURVIVAL Even in my darkest moments, I always knew I would survive. My tools of resilience and positive thinking helped to see me out of the darkness. And, as a part of my emergence from the darkness, I knew I didn’t want to live with secrets anymore. The secrets I was harboring were destroying me, and I knew it. They 18 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

were bubbling up inside of me like a pressure cooker and if I didn’t do something, I knew I would explode.

And so, I started to share my secrets and thoughts in a journal. Through my writing, I began to realize that the things that happened to me weren’t my fault; that I was not a bad person who deserved a miserable life. I also realized my self-esteem was non-existent and that I had no concept of self-worth. I came to realize I needed to begin a journey of finding who I was and empowering myself, and that the first step on that journey would come by learning to love myself.

That was the beginning of a journey that led me to write my book, “You Were Born to Shine” (Balboa Press, 2015). It is the story of my journey – my survival – in which I was able to find my self-worth and help others find theirs.

When I started putting my story together for my book, what surprised me the most was how I began to find healing through my writing. I found forgiveness and extreme compassion. I was beginning to realize my self-worth and to embrace the woman I had become, in spite of the tribulations I had faced.

HOW QUICKLY THINGS CAN CHANGE I’ll never forget, as a young mother, coming home from a fun-filled and relaxing Memorial Day weekend at the beach with my family. I was thinking about having a third child. The timing

was perfect. My youngest daughter was turning three and my oldest daughter was seven. Then the phone rang and in a moment all my plans for the future were tossed out the window. The week before, I had gone to the doctor for a routine exam and when the phone rang I half-heard the doctor tell me I had cervical cancer.

My head was spinning as I also half-heard my little girls playing and laughing in the other room.

At that moment, I had only one thought: I am going to die.

How could my life go from being on the beach building sand castles with my children one minute to lying in a bed with drains coming out of my body in a cancer ward of a hospital the next?

As the days went by, instead of focusing on my cancer, I made the decision to focus on seeing my children grow up. I didn’t know if I was going to live and be all right. I only knew that I had to live and be all right. I had to continue to take care of my children. There was no other option for me.

The surgery I endured was a radical hysterectomy. That meant goodbye to the idea of having more children and hello to surgical menopause and an eight-inch vertical scar on my stomach. While I did all I could to remain positive, I was so overwhelmed with fear, I couldn’t cope.

The uncertainty of whether I was going to live or die, and the idea that I thought I had no control, was beyond horrible.

But, here is what I truly believe changed things for me: If I had laid in that hospital bed and continued to think of cancer as a death sentence,

I would not have been able to keep it together. I could have focused on the negative. But I constantly chose not to. I was always fighting against myself to be positive. During that time, my mind was telling me I was going to die, but my heart told me I had to survive. I made the choice to listen to my heart.

I thought about the people outside the hospital going on with their lives. They got to breathe the summer air. Mothers were telling their children bedtime stories. I wanted to be one of those people and I would not settle for anything less. I remained focused on positive thoughts and if I felt any doubt or sadness try to creep in, I would immediately replace it with a positive fantasy or thought or memory.

The odd thing was, after my surgery and treatment, when I received a clean bill of health, you’d think I’d be walking on sunshine, smelling the roses of life and running through fields rejoicing. In fact, the opposite occurred. I had put every bit of energy into my survival, and when I did survive, I felt like a war-torn veteran. I became severely depressed and suffered from post-traumatic stress syndrome. I went from only allowing myself to feel positive emotions to not being able to feel anything at all. I was expected to feel immense joy and gratitude, but I couldn’t. I became a living, breathing, cancer-free zombie. I was paralyzed with a fear that if cancer could happen to me so suddenly and without warning, what was next? I began suffering crippling panic attacks and ended up in an emergency room three times in one month because of them. I literally felt that I was dying all over again, only this time, my will to survive was gone.

This all took place 24 years ago, when there was no such a thing as the Internet. There weren’t any support groups or stories of inspiration. People didn’t talk about cancer. It was a taboo subject.

And so I wallowed in my darkness for months until I realized that I needed to talk to someone. After going to a therapist, I was able to start my journey back to emotional health. I had needed validation to know that what I was feeling, or wasn’t feeling, was normal.

Over the next several months, my mind and body started to heal and the shock was starting to wear off. It was hard for me to talk about my feelings, so I began writing in a journal. It was there, on those pages, that I reminded myself of the good things I had in my life – my children, material comforts, and most of all, my life. I slowly began to feel the gratitude of a survivor. Each day’s struggle got easier. I began to see that my life was a blessing.

I started researching how people went on to live full, rich lives after they had been through extreme adversities. I learned all of these people shared two things: an enormous amount of resiliency and gratitude.

Without finding gratitude in my life, I don’t think I would have been able to focus on my future.

I would have been stuck in a pity pot wasting my life away. That changed when I began to feel blessed to have caught my cancer early. I felt blessed that I was once again a whole person. Most of all, I felt blessed that I could share my story so that others would know there is life after being diagnosed with cancer.

My self-worth was finally intact and I loved the woman I had become. I viewed this new outlook as a gift that stemmed from the adversities I suffered.

COURAGE dISCOVEREd Along with fighting cancer, there have been many times in my life where I needed courage, and more importantly, the need to show courage to my children. For me, being a role model was important, because my own mother proved to be such a poor one. This was never so true as the difficulties I faced in my first marriage.

There is nothing pleasant about being married to an alcoholic. It wears down your self- esteem, your trust, your happiness and your spirit. You keep hoping things will change and be different.

I had endured the ugliness that comes from living with a drunk. I would wake up in the morning and find strange men sleeping on my couch. My husband would throw up on the floor during the night, urinate in the garbage or sink thinking it was the toilet, and he was physically and mentally abusive.

The last time I allowed myself to be a victim to his violence was when he had come home drunk and wanted money so he could go out and drink some more. I wouldn’t give him any and he knew I was hiding it. He pushed me up against the wall, put his hands on my throat and squeezed so tight that I thought I was going to pass out. I told him where the money was and he left. That night, I called his parents and told them what happened. I was sick of making excuses for him and hiding his sick secrets as my own. The next day, I packed up my baby and left to live at my parents’ house.

Not long after that he had gotten his third DUI and was ordered to go into a rehab. I would visit him with the baby. Back in those days, almost 30 years ago, rehabs were part of state mental hospitals. It was dirty, scary and not fit for a child.

I refused to ever bring her back there.

After leaving rehab, my husband tried sweettalking me into moving back with him, saying he was now sober. A part of me wanted to believe him, but I was skeptical. One morning, while living at his parents’ house, I went over early in the morning to surprise him. He wasn’t there. He hadn’t come home the night before. I went into his room and found a picture of him with a girl on his lap. I knew right then that my marriage was over.

My heart sank. All the plans I had for a future together as a family were gone in that instant. I was finally done.

PRACTICING BRAVERY Fear is something that can become crippling and hard to overcome. You have to practice bravery to overcome fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of change are all common. Fear of failure can result in giving up, staying stagnant rather than trying and failing. The key is to embrace failure as a learning tool, to understand it rather than fear it. So what if you fail? So what if you aren’t as good as the next person at something? It doesn’t make you any less of a person. If anything, it will make you better, stronger and wiser. That is why practicing bravery is needed.

You become brave when you take chances, even when you know you might not succeed and others might shun you. You have to be brave to suffer failure. After I left my husband, my baby and I lived in a one-bedroom apartment. She had the bed and I had a cot. I was constantly fighting off the roaches. It was tough, but my little girl and I were safe, happy and together. I learned you have to hold your head up high, be brave, and not let yourself be destroyed.

I also learned you must show your bravery to others. You help others become strong when they look to you as a role model. Your children, in particular, need to see you as brave so they will not grow up weak and fearful.

To be brave is to be strong, and to be strong is to be confident. It comes with a fair amount of discomfort at first, but have you noticed how strong you feel after being brave in a situation? You feel like you can conquer the world. This is the reward of daring to be brave.

SHINING AS NEVER BEFORE My adversities have become my life lessons – ones that I love to share. Today, I regularly speak to groups and share my story to help others who are suffering through difficult times. I am now living a life that is full and happy. My life has dramatically changed and I am shining as I never have before.

That is what we were born to do – for ourselves and for others.

START SHINING! Meryl Hartstein’s book, “You Were Born to Shine,” takes readers on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. She has survived more in her lifetime than most people ever have to face and yet, her positive and resilient attitude empowered her to be strong through the darkest of days. Hartstein chose to be a survivor and not a victim. Today, along with her life and relationship-coaching practice, she is a guest speaker and the founder of Bounce Back Women, a nonprofit foundation that works to empower women. For more information on Hartstein, her book and personal appearances, click on www.bouncebackwomen.com.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 19

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Special to Life After 50

by Lisa Lapides Sawicki

Self-Coach Yourself To Become The Best You Can Be Your inner thoughts, the messages you send to yourself, are the key to a more productive and happy life

S

tatistics state that one in ten Americans suffers from depression and even more experience chronic anxiety. Our society often breeds emotional dependency, and far too many people are searching for a “quick fix” to solve their problems and issues as opposed to empowering themselves with increased emotional independence.

The independence needed to cope with life in today’s world comes when a person has the ability to calm themselves after something upsetting happens and then begin to figure out how to problem solve and deal with the situation; or work on accepting it if it is out of their control.

People who are not equipped to be emotionally independent are constantly seeking outside help when they feel upset or need to problem-solve. This is because they don’t know how to take responsibility and manage their own emotions, calm themselves down, and look for rational options and possibilities.

When one does begin to learn emotional independence and to take personal responsibility, they become their own self-coach, and the good news is that anyone can easily and quickly learn the skills and techniques to do this.

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY DIRECTOR OF YOUR LIFE As a life coach, I feel the responsibility to teach positive and specific daily self-coaching techniques and skills to each of my clients. As a part of my program, I teach those I work with to use the 16 waking hours of each day to positively, realistically and productively talk to themselves and direct their reactions and actions. Even if a person is already working with a life coach or therapist, most only do so for an hour per week.

While that is fine, just imagine the results that can be achieved if you were to become your own coach for the other 111 waking hours of each week!

Our 16 waking hours a day consist of managing emotions, thoughts, reactions and actions. No one escapes that fact. But when problems arise, far too many people don’t know how to cope with them, because they have never been taught how to selfcoach and self-talk to themselves.

Our society breeds us to feel fearful, shameful, not good enough, guilty, competitive, better

than or less than. We are bombarded with these messages thousands of times a day from the media, community, friends and family, co-workers, caregivers and those who may be jealous of us.

Throughout our lives we learn so many things other than how to employ our own self-management, and then we wonder why we are unhappy, feeling flat and joyless.

PRACTICING DAILY SELFAWARENESS AND COACHING The benefits of learning and practicing selfcoaching include: •

Calmness

•

Productiveness

•

Decisiveness

•

Schedule control

•

Confidence

•

Resiliency

•

Awareness of fair, healthy and safe boundaries

•

Awareness of desired and undesired actions and commitments

•

I choose to be a person of my word, meaning I do what I declare I am going to do.

•

Self-control and acceptance

•

•

The ability to reach realistic goals

I choose to be pleasant, compassionate, fair and clearly communicative with everyone.

•

Happiness and fulfillment

•

In each day I am given, I will create a pleasurable schedule for myself that allows me to feel grounded and fulfilled. This will require that I properly prioritize things and have patience to accomplish my needs and goals. I choose to conquer my tasks and assignments in a timely, relaxed matter and not leave them to the last minute, which can often create problems, messes and stress.

Here are some self-coaching skills you can start incorporating immediately: •

•

•

•

Take notice, without any judgment, what your inner thoughts and inner self-talk reveal about you. Are you mostly positive or negative? Are you a victim, insecure, judgmental, fearful, fair, realistic, jealous, conceited, needy or competitive?

As you start noticing what your inner world is telling you and how you are feeling, write down your self-observations. Take a real look at yourself and journal your thoughts, reactions, emotions and ongoing actions and attitudes.

This will help you get clarity on your innerthought tendencies.

Make a non-negotiable choice, from this day forward, to love, have compassion for, trust, accept and be supportive of yourself.

Remember, finding happiness and fulfillment begins with your positive self-talk and the messages you are giving yourself. Do not allow room for negative feelings. No matter what.

No excuses. You owe that to yourself. You must choose to love and accept yourself fully and be powerfully self-supportive. You must take responsibility for your peace of mind and the fulfillment of your life. Know that your happiness is no one else’s responsibility. It is yours and yours alone!

Come up with four positive self-talk goals every week. Write down the messages you need to say to yourself and implement them daily.

•

I choose to create a life worth living.

•

When I feel hurt, angry, sad, scared or disappointed, I will always allow myself some time for grief, and then to be healthily and emotionally resilient.

•

I choose to do something every day or week that is good for me.

•

I choose to acknowledge or reward myself every day for the positive and productive things I have accomplished.

•

I choose to feel grateful every day for all of my loved ones and my blessings.

•

I really like myself and enjoy my own company.

•

All people are equals, no one is better than anyone else. We all shine in our own way.

If you begin to practice all of these concepts, these self-coaching and self-talk skills, you will instantly manifest a more positive inner and outer peace.

You will take control of your emotions and actions.

You will become a more positive person, and your outcomes will prove to be greatly improved.

THE BOTTOm LINE: START YOUR SELF-COACHING REGImEN RIGHT NOW! To learn more about the Self-Coach Now program or to speak with Lisa Lapides Sawicki, call (619) 722-5056 or e-mail her at lisa@ selfcoachnow.com.

WHY SELF-TALK IS SO VITAL Through my coaching practice, I have come to realize that everyone, including myself, is actually self-coaching our lives during every one of our waking hours. That coaching can be positive or negative. Learning how to properly, skillfully and positively self-coach is essential to achieving a higher quality of life. The way we feel and conduct ourselves every day begins with our self-talk. Here are some examples of this:

Here are some self-talk starters: •

•

•

When my inner self-talk is negative in any way or someone/something is bothering me, I am going to challenge myself to discover a way to positively reframe it, let go of the negativity, let the situation be, or create a possible desired positive solution or outcome.

I choose to support myself and direct myself to accomplish positive actions – large and small – with pleasure and ease.

I choose not to take things personally, but to learn and grow from mistakes, hurts and disappointments. (This one is not easy, but if you start practicing, it will quickly change those wasteful, negative feelings that bring you down and prevent you from feeling self-acceptance and peace.)

•

I can say: “No thank you” gracefully and graciously when I need to (Believe me, this is a HUGE one).

•

I can be self-responsible and self-accountable.

Negative Self-Talk •

I hate my body.

•

I’m too old.

•

No one likes me.

•

Everything bad happens to me.

•

People are only being nice to me because they want something, they just want to use me.

Positive Self-Talk •

I see the beauty in my body and am so grateful for all that it does for me.

•

I accept myself and others.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 23

Jane Hitchcock A model for retaining style, beauty and grace at any age

Story by Max Andrews * Photos courtesy of Natasha Ella Pisani, Faz Kashani and Chris Littlechild

S

ay the terms “fashion model” or “photo model” and immediately one’s mind conjures up the image of a chiseled-featured, gorgeously maned, barely twentysomething whose legs – which go on forever – carry a body that has never weighed in at more than the high doubledigits.

That was, in fact, a perfect description of Jane Hitchcock – over 40 years ago. And yet, today, now in her early 60s, Hitchcock still retains the attributes and style that sold bazillions of fashion magazines and cosmetic products from the late 1960s through the early 1980s.

Born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama, Hitchcock’s modeling career began when she was just 14. One of only two young American women to be offered a dance scholarship to train at the school of Balanchine for the world’s premier ballet company, The New York City Ballet, she and her mother moved to New York where, from her first day, photographers began stopping her on the street and asking to photograph her.

While dance was young Hitchcock’s focus, that soon changed when Wilhelmina, the famous Vogue model of the 1960s, who had just established her own modeling agency, signed her as her fifth model.

Embraced as Wilhelmina’s protégé, Hitchcock quickly learned that her dance training made her a natural as a model as she exuded poise, posture

24 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

and grace. Within months of her signing with Wilhelmina, Hitchcock began appearing on the covers of the world’s premier fashion magazines, including Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Elle and Glamour. Along with her modeling work, Hitchcock was tapped to appear in commercials and cosmetic ads for Estée Lauder, Clinique, Maybelline, Yardley, Almay, Avon, Noxzema, Cover Girl and Vichey, among others.

While most models see their careers come to an end before they are out of their 20s, Hitchcock continued to get work into her 30s and began a major resursurgance in her 40s, thanks to the legendary fashion photographer Steven Meisel.

Crusading to convince the fashion and advertising industry that women over 40 would relate to older models and had a spending power that would only continue to grow, Meisel approached Vogue and inspired a new recognition of beauty by photographing famous models of the past who were then in their 40s and 50s. Among his subjects were Lauren Hutton, Lisa Taylor, Susan Forestall, Patty Hanson, Rosie Vella and Hitchcock, who graced the cover of Vogue, ads for Calvin Klein, and campaigns for Esprit and Ferretti Jeans.

Long after most models had been retired for over two decades, Hitchcock became an important face for cosmetic companies, which began to create advertisements featuring “ageless beauties.” Calvin Klein even used Hitchcock and other older models

in a runway show. “There is a changing perception,” Klein told CNN at the time. “These women are beautiful [and] I’m using Jane Hitchcock because she is perfect for what I’m trying to say: [that] women get better as they age.”

Asked to weigh in on what women can do to help them age better, Hitchcock offered Life After 50 readers the following advice:

ON WOMEN WHOSE GRANDDAUGHTERS WANT TO BE MODELS Encourage them to take ballet classes.

This will teach them understanding about alignment of their bodies for posing and awareness of their body’s posture

and how to be graceful in movement. I always felt I stood out because of the way I walked and moved. That came naturally to me, because of my ballet training. I would also say that to become a successful model, you need to have an outgoing personality and always be professional. Make sure you arrive on time, always bring what they ask, do what your agency advises you, and love every bit of the adventure.

ON THE PROPER USE OF MAKEUP FOR MATURE WOMEN

ON THE BEST TRICK FOR GETTING A FRESH LOOK I think the eyebrows are the most important feature on the face and are all too often overlooked.

Their shape and color can affect your entire appearance, because they help balance your features. A properly formed and colored eyebrow brings attention to your face and gives you a lifted look. They are frames for the eyes and can make them look bigger. Eyebrows give personality and expression to the face and they are the one thing we can modify without surgery to get a perky look.

Color is also very important when it comes to eyebrows. I think a medium brown is as light as anyone over 50 should ever go. That will give the brows some intensity and will take away a washedout look. I recommend dyeing them gradually, so you get used to the color. I also think it’s very good to dye your eyelashes. You should then curl them.

I believe every woman should do that, because it makes you look bright-eyed and brings out the shape of your eyes. An added bonus is, you don’t have to put on mascara.

ON HAIR STYLES AND COLOR I know it’s a current trend to go gray or white and brava to women who are making that statement, but, to me, women have been enhancing their appearance with hair color for centuries for a reason – because gray hair is aging. But I think color and style – whether long or short – is a personal choice. I think consulting with a stylist and a colorist is very helpful, but each woman should go with what she thinks works for her and she is comfortable with.

ON PLASTIC SURGEY AND FILLERS I have never had any cosmetic surgery and don’t use fillers, plumpers or Botox. I’m concerned that things can go wrong with surgery and we really don’t know what the long-term health effects of injecting chemicals may be. So I have chosen another route – facial exercising. I have tried various facial exercises and found that they work well for me. I think facial exercising is extremely important. Our face is made up of muscles and they have to be used to keep toned. I do the “lion roar” every day. That consists of opening your eyes and mouth as wide as you can, to stimulate many of the facial muscles.

ON THE BIGGEST FASHION MISTAKE WOMEN OVER 50 MAKE You don’t have to be beautiful to be stylish and fashionable, but you do have to be confident and comfortable with yourself, and you should also be aware of what you should be doing to present yourself in an elegant and graceful way. You do need a sense of the aesthetic in understanding how you look and how you should put yourself together.

As for the biggest mistake, I would say wearing ¾-length pants that end at mid-calf is a huge mistake for most women. Unless you are really tall and thin, they cut the line of the leg and make you look shorter and wider in the hips. It is a very bad look for most women.

ON DIET AND EXERCISE I don’t really adhere to any specific diet and, while I try to eat healthy, I also allow myself to splurge occasionally. For the most part, I eat the way we all know to be right: moderate portions and moderation in rich foods. I try to eat very little fried food, sweets, pasta, rice or bread, but I don’t

completely deprive myself. As for exercise, it is always a struggle for me, so what I try to do is use my everyday life as my exercise regimen. I always walk up stairs as much as I can and I try to stretch every day. I think stretching is very important as we get older. Achieving alignment and trying to keep flexible is what I strive for. I do leg kicks and stretches as I’m standing in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to be made. I also walk a lot and do use some small weights, but I really try to make exercising a part of my everyday life. Just the act of lifting groceries can be a form of exercise.

Photob By Hayley Sparks

The innovations in makeup for older people have been very good. Today, you can achieve a natural appearance instead of that powdered look. As you get older, you want to look fresh and natural with some color. To achieve that, you may only need a bit of blush and something on the lips. I like a lipstain gloss. It adds color that lasts even when it wears off, and lips, as we get older, definitely need a little color and freshness. Overall, when it comes to makeup, remember: less is more.

ON AGING GRACEFULLY I truly believe it’s an attitude thing. There’s a quote I love: “We don’t grow old, we become old by not growing.” I believe we have to always stay creative.

Having a creative outlet is important and, like exercising, I think we can and should just make being creative a part of our everyday life. Anything can be creative: conducting business, preparing food, working at a relationship. I think you have to always stay curious, seek new challenges and bring in creativity to whatever you do that keeps you connected to life. A walk down the street, if you are really present, can be a creative endeavor.

You can find creativity and joy in so many simple things and moments. There is so much pleasure to be found in everyday things like a simple walk. I think having a reason to get up is also important.

I love that I am still working and that there are opportunities for older models. I recently did a shoot for Italian Vogue with other women who were in their 70s and 80s. Nowadays there are models having careers even into their 90s, so that means I have 30 or 40 more years of fun to look forward to. I just appreciate every day, because I don’t know what tomorrow may bring. I see every day as a gift to be grateful for.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 25

Significant Mother – New Series, CW – Premieres Monday August 3 at 9:30 p.m.

Budding Portland restaurateur, Nate, has had his world turned upside down when he comes back from a business trip to find that his best friend and roommate, Jimmy, is now dating his recently separated mother, Lydia. To make matters worse, Nate’s previously disinterested dad, Harrison, is now determined to win Lydia back and isn’t afraid to use Nate to get what he wants. Stuck between his family feud and his best friend’s first serious relationship, Nate’s “new normal” forever changes his relationships with his parents and severely handicaps his own dating life.

Show Me A Hero – New Miniseries, HBO – Premieres Sunday August 16 at 9 p.m.

This six-part miniseries has quite a pedigree - created by David Simon and directed by Paul Haggis, it boasts an all-star cast of Oscar Isaac, Catherine Keener, Alfred Molina, Winona Ryder, LaTanya RichardsonJackson, Bob Balaban, and Jim Belushi. Set in Yonkers in the 1980s, the show focuses on a young mayor (Issac) struggling with racial strife in his city after he’s ordered to build public housing projects in largely white neighborhoods around town. The series is based on Lisa Belkin’s 1999 non-fiction book of the same name.

Blunt Talk – New Series, Starz – Premieres Saturday August 22 at 9 p.m.

This new half-hour comedy is from the prolific Seth MacFarlane and stars the iconic Patrick Stewart. It is a character-driven comedy revolving around Walter Blunt (Stewart), a British import intent on conquering the world of American cable news. Through the platform of his nightly interview show, Blunt is on a mission to impart his wisdom and guidance on how Americans should live, think and behave.

Besieged by network bosses, a dysfunctional news staff, numerous ex-wives and children of all ages, Blunt’s only support is the alcoholic manservant he transplanted from the U.K. to join him in Los Angeles. The series follows the fallout from Blunt’s well-intentioned, but mostly misguided, decision-making both on and off the air.

Public Morals – New Series, TNT – Premieres Tuesday August 25 at 10 p.m.

Edward Burns writes, directs, executive produces and stars alongside Michael Rappaport and Elizabeth Masucci in this powerful police drama that will take viewers to the seedy, gritty streets and bright, seductive lights of 1960s New York. The series centers on Terry Muldoon (Burns), an officer of the Public Morals Division, which investigates vice crimes in the city. Many of Muldoon’s fellow cops in the division walk a thin line between morality and crime as vice-related temptations threaten to snare even the best of officers, including Muldoon’s partner, Charlie Bullman (Rapoport). As Muldoon watches the Hell’s Kitchen streets where he grew up devoured by an escalating war within two factions of the Irish-American mob, he becomes more determined than ever to fight back against the city’s dark underbelly so he can provide a safe place where he and his wife, Christine (Masucci), can raise their family.

Steven Spielberg is also on board as an executive producer.

Great Performances: Vienna Philharmonic Summer Night Concert – New Special, PBS – Airs Friday August 28 at 9 p.m.

Travel to Austria’s Schönbrunn Palace for the annual concert.

The Vienna Philharmonic performs an open-air concert from the gardens of Austria’s Imperial Schönbrunn Palace. Zubin Mehta conducts, with pianist Rudolf Buchbinder as soloist, in works by Grieg and Sibelius.

26 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

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The Hallowed Hall of Must-Knowtables

By David Laurell Illustration by Mark Hammermeister

Coco Chanel

Dramatically changing the way women dressed in the early 20th century, fashion designer Coco Chanel made an indelible mark on the fashion world by introducing what would become timeless classics. From her legendary tweed suit and little black dress – which Vogue rightfully predicted would become “a uniform for all women of taste” – to elegant costume jewelry, an iconic quilted handbag and the most famous fragrance ever bottled, Chanel ruled over her house of couture with relentless ambition that, despite numerous controversies, saw her rise to the top of the fashion industry and high society.

C

oco Chanel was born Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel on August 19, 1883 in Saumur, France to a poor, unmarried laundrywoman and a mostly absent street vendor who peddled clothing. Although the official registry of her birth lists her family’s name as “Chasnel,” it was simply a clerical misspelling that was never corrected.

At the age of 11, after her mother died of bronchitis, Gabrielle was sent to the Convent of Aubazine in Central France, where she lived a strict and disciplined life of stark frugality. Following her 18th birthday, too old to continue on as a ward of the convent, she was moved to a boarding house for young Catholic girls in Moulins, France.

Having learned to sew during her years at the convent, Gabrielle worked as a seamstress by day and used her nights to pursue her dream of becoming an entertainer by performing at a local cabaret. It was there that she purportedly acquired the name “Coco” because of her regular performance of two popular songs: “Ko Ko Ri Ko” and “Qui qu’a vu Coco.”

Ultimately coming to terms with the fact that her vocal talent was marginal, Chanel pursued work in the fashion industry. It was during this time that she also

began engaging in affairs and relationships with wealthy, powerful and married men who provided her with a life of indulgent riches and funded her business pursuits.

In 1910, the then-27-year-old Chanel began designing hats, became a licensed milliner and opened a boutique in Deauville, France where she offered elegant casual clothing. Two years later, she branched out by opening an establishment in Biarritz, France, and by 1919, registered as a couturiere and established a company that operated out of one of the most fashionable clothing districts in Paris.

Overseeing a multi-faceted house of couture that produced clothing, hats, accessories, jewelry and a fragrance she created – Chanel No.5, so named because a fortune teller had told Chanel that “five” was her lucky number – 1922 saw her introduced to a businessman named Pierre Wertheimer, who sniffed success in the scent of Chanel’s signature fragrance. Two years later, Chanel entered into an agreement with Wertheimer and his brother and business partner, Paul, who offered to fully finance the production, marketing and distribution of Chanel No. 5. Agreeing to a deal she would later regret, Chanel licensed her name to Parfums Chanel and removed herself from all business operations in return for a mere 10 percent of the company’s stock.

This feature is intended for you to clip and give to your children or grandchildren because…they must-know!

28 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

In 1931, a meeting with film producer Samuel Goldwyn lured Chanel to Hollywood to design costumes for MGM film productions. It proved to be a match made in hell as Chanel quickly developed a profound dislike for the American film industry and its lack of culture. Calling Hollywood “The capital of bad taste,” “infantile” and “vulgar,” she returned to running her lucrative fashion empire that, by 1935, was employing close to 4,000 people.

By the latter part of the 1930s, the chain-smoking Chanel began a reliance on cocaine and daily self-injections of morphine that would continue to her final days. She also made the decision to close her couture house and boutiques when World War II broke out, stating it was not a time for fashion.

This decision exposed a dark side of Chanel, who seemingly gave no thought to the thousands of employees that, by virtue of her decision, found themselves without work. Many of those workers scoffed at Chanel wrapping herself in wartime austerity and saw the closing of her business as a retaliation against garment workers who, in an attempt to receive fair wages and work hours, had staged a general labor strike in France two years earlier.

During this time, the enigmatic, fiercely private and always well-guarded Chanel also exposed an even darker side of her nature, which hovered beneath her glossy chic veneer, by reportedly collaborating with the Nazis, using her powerful British political and royal connections (including that of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill) to escape prosecution for that reported association, espousing antiSemitic views, and displaying unbridled personal opportunism.

The latter of those charges was made evident when, during World War II, the Nazis had seized all Jewish-owned property and business enterprises. This gave Chanel the opportunity to retaliate against the Jewish Wertheimers and Parfums Chanel. She used her position as an Aryan to petition German officials to support and legalize her claim of sole ownership of the company. This ploy failed because the Wertheimers had since moved their operation to the United States, but it did ultimately result in Chanel and the brothers renegotiating their 1924 contract, to protect the brand, which provided her with huge financial benefits. Her earnings from Parfums Chanel alone were reportedly over $25 million annually, making her one of the richest women in the world. As a part of the agreement, Pierre Wertheimer also agreed to pay all of Chanel’s living expenses for the rest of her life.

After living in Switzerland for close to a decade, the then-70-year-old Chanel returned to Paris in 1954. Financed by Wertheimer, she reestablished her couture house and debuted bell-bottom pants. Shunned by Parisians who had turned against her for her reported wartime association with the Nazis, Chanel found a new client base in the metropolitan cities of Britain and America.

By 1987, Chanel had become tyrannical and lonely. Her health was in decline, and yet she continued to rule over her empire until January 10, 1971 when she died in her sleep at the age of 87. Her funeral was held at the Église de la Madeleine in Paris and she was buried in the Bois-de-Vaux Cemetery in Lausanne, Switzerland.

Today, Chanel’s house of couture, under the rein of designer Karl Lagerfeld, remains a major force in the fashion industry. And, in spite of her many controversies, Chanel, the only fashion designer listed on Time magazine’s list of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century, is revered as one of fashion’s greatest icons.

Chanel’s insight and advice on everything from embracing the moment to living life on one’s own terms. * “Coco Chanel: The Legend and the Life” (Harper Collins, 2010) a biography

by Justine Picardie that uncovers both the truth and myths surrounding Chanel.

LEARN MORE Coco Chanel has been the subject of numerous books and films among them: * “Chanel Solitaire,” a 1981 film that starred Marie-France Pisier. * “Coco Chanel,” a 2008 Lifetime Television film starring Shirley MacLaine, which glossed over her affairs and controversies. * “Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky” (Riverhead Trade, 2003) a book written by Chris Greenhalgh that inspired a 2009 film of the same name. * “Different Like Coco,” (Candlewick, 2009) a children’s book that depicts the humble childhood of Chanel and chronicles how she made monumental changes to the fashion industry. * “The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World’s Most Elegant Woman” (Skirt!, 2009) a book by Karen Karbo that provides Mark Hammermeister is an award-winning artist. His work is available for purchase at www.markdraws.com August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 29

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Let’S Get OUt A Preview of Upcoming Events for August/September By Claire Yezbak Fadden

eNteRtAINMeNt SATURDAY, AUGUST 15 A NIGHT WITH JANIS JOPLIN Like a comet that burns far too brightly to last, Janis Joplin exploded onto the music scene in 1967 and, almost overnight, became the queen of rock ‘n’ roll. Featuring acclaimed blues singer Mary Bridget Davies, this musical journey celebrates Joplin and her biggest musical influences – trailblazers like Aretha Franklin, Etta James, Odetta, Nina Simone and Bessie Smith, who inspired one of rock ‘n’ roll’s greatest legends. The Pasadena Playhouse, 39 South El Molino Ave., Pasadena.

Also Aug. 16. $55-$150. (626) 356-7529. pasadenaplayhouse.org.

HERSHEY FELDER AS IRVING BERLIN Featuring the composer’s most popular and enduring songs from “God Bless America” to “White Christmas” and beyond, Felder’s masterful creation of character and musical performance makes this evening with Irving Berlin an unforgettable journey. Geffen Playhouse, 10886 Le Conte Ave., Los Angeles.

Also Aug. 16. $39-$74 (310) 208-5454. geffenplayhouse.com.

UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS TOUR Learn just how the Gambles lived in, maintained and appreciated their beautiful Greene and Greene house. Visit the original laundry and coal rooms in the basement; the light and accommodating servants’ bedrooms and learn about the multi-ethnic staff that helped make the Gambles’ lives in Pasadena

more comfortable. The Gamble House, 4 Westmoreland Pl., Pasadena. $20. Also Aug. 16. (626) 793-3334. gamble-house.org.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16 TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD In a small Southern town during the depression, the idyllic childhood of eight-year old Scout and her brother Jem is changed forever when their lawyer-father defends a poor black man accused of raping a white girl. Through the drama of the trial and its aftermath, the children experience the harsh realities of prejudice that surround them. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Sept. 27. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

THE FABULOUS LIPITONES A barbershop quartet who’s been belting out close harmonies for 20 years suddenly loses its lead singer, who dropped dead at the regionals on a heart-stopping high C. The three surviving members must cease their bickering and race to find a replacement in time for the nationals. The Colony Theatre is located at 555 North Third Street, at the corner of Cypress, in the heart of Downtown Burbank. Through Aug. 23. Prices vary. (818) 558-7000. colonytheatre.org.

WESTERN MUSIC ASSOCIATION SHOWCASE Musicians and cowboy poets perform stories and songs of the romantic days of the Old West, contemporary music of the American West and songs of the open range and the

LA/Ventura

August/September 2015

American cowboy. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

TURTLE AND TORTOISE SHOW Enjoy this educational experience to see unique animals up close. See, touch and feel turtles and tortoises of all sizes, take pictures with giant tortoises, care and adoption information, raffle prizes, bake goods and snacks for sale. La Habra Community Center, 101 W. La Habra Blvd., La Habra. $2-3. octortoisecttc.org. occhaptercttc@ hotmail.com.

MONDAY, AUGUST 17 GREEN GROW THE LILACS The courtship between a rancher and his gal is threatened by a menacing farmhand and turns violent, jeopardizing the young lovers’ future. Will Geer’s Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga.

Through Sept. 26. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

PLACAS: THE MOST DANGEROUS TATTOO Culture Clash’s Ric Salinas heads the cast in a bilingual tale of fathers and sons, transformation and redemption. A Salvadoran immigrant tries to reclaim his family while letting go of his gangbanger past. Casa 0101, 2102 E. First St, Los Angeles. Thurs.-Sun. through Sept. 13. $20. (323) 263-7684. casa0101.org.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 18 AS YOU LIKE IT Rosalind, daughter of a banished duke, is forced to flee the court and enter the Forest of Arden when her uncle, usurper of his brother’s estate, threatens to have her killed. Will Geer’s Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Sept. 26. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19 THIRD WEDNESDAY Tropical Staycation and Spiked Tropical Punch Tasting. Happy Hour with craft beer and food samples. Kick off midsummer with a neighborhood-wide party on the tree-lined boulevards of Downtown Culver City, between Culver and Washington Blvds. and Duquesne Ave. downtownculvercity.com.

JOAN RIVERS: CAN WE TALK?

Artifacts on display include various stage costumes worn by the comedian, a vintage Louis Vuitton travel trunk, Rivers’ 1990 Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Talk/ Service Show Host, family photographs, her 1984 Harvard Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year award as well as her Hollywood Walk of Fame Star award. The Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, Fourth Floor, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Sept.

20. $12-$13. (213) 765-6803. grammymuseum.org.

Descanso Gardens, 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. $6-$9. (818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM Shakespeare conjures a world of wonder, magic and romance where comical misunderstandings and the pain of unrequited love are resolved, and all is reconciled through midsummer night revelries and the enduring power of nature. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Sept. 25. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

LEON RUSSELL In his distinguished and unique 50-year career, Russell has played on pop, rock, blues, country, bluegrass, standards, gospel and surf records. He became part of an elite group of studio musicians called the Wrecking Crew and played on hundreds of hit records in the 1960s. As a songwriter, Leon’s songs have hit the charts across all genres and have been covered by a diverse range of artists. The Canyon, 28912 Roadside Dr., Agoura Hills. $34-$58. (818) 879-5016. canyonclub.net.

SUNSET CONCERTS: YUVAL RON ENSEMBLA Guests may bring their own food. No outside alcoholic beverages or chairs are permitted.

Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Free admission. (310) 4404500. skirball.org.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21 FENCES It’s 1957 and Troy Maxson, a former Negro League home run king is now a garbage collector with little future. He tries to do right by his family, but when his youngest son Cory shows promise on the high school football team, Troy must come to terms with his past disappointments or risk tearing his family apart. International City Theatre, Long Beach Performing Arts Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach. Thurs.-Sun. through Sept. 13. $34-$48. (562) 436-4610. internationalcitytheatre.org.

GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Rolon Trio. First Baptist Church of Glendale, 209 N. Louise St., Glendale. Free. (818) 2422113. glendalenoonconcerts.blogspot.com.

ROARING NIGHTS AT THE L.A. ZOO This summer music series features a live band, DJ dance party, food trucks, fullservice bars, pop-up zookeeper talks, animal encounters and visits to zoo animal habitats.

Enjoy the “Animal Artistry Paint Party” for guests to paint a favorite animal (or whatever inspiration strikes them) on a small canvas to take home as a souvenir. Ages 18 and up.

The Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens, Griffith Park, 5333 Zoo Dr., Los Angeles. $20.

(323) 644-6042. lazoo.org.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 20

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22

MUSIC ON THE MAIN SUMMER JAZZ Bring your friends, picnics and folding chairs and savor the season of summer jazz.

CAFÉ SOCIETY All bets are off when five self-absorbed customers find themselves trapped in a Los Angeles Starbucks. Emmy Award-winning

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 31

CALeNDAR writer Peter Lefcourt’s outrageous comedy takes an irreverent glimpse at our obsession with social media and the way we connect in today’s world. Odyssey Theatre, 2055 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Weekends through Oct. 11. $25-$30. (323) 960-7712. plays411.com/society.

August/September 2015 LA/Ventura oriented attractions. Veterans Park, 4117 Overland Ave., Culver City. Free. Also Aug. 2930. (310) 253-6667. fiestalaballona.org.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 30

SUNDAY, AUGUST 23 BONTANICUM SEEDLINGS A development series for playwrights furthers new works and new voices in theater, presenting public readings of new plays.

Will Geer’s Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Also Aug. 30.

Free. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

MONDAY, AUGUST 24

ERYKAH BADU Regarded as the “First Lady of Neo-Soul,” and best known for her eccentric style and cerebral music, Badu’s sound -- a concoction of soul, hip-hop and jazz -- cannot be contained to a single genre. Self-described as a mother first, Badu is a touring artist, deejay, teacher, community activist, holistic healer, doula, vegan and conscious spirit. Hollywood Bowl, 2301 Highland Ave., Los Angeles.

Prices vary. (323) 850-2000. laphilcom. hollywoodbowl.com.

SEPTEMBER CITIZEN: AN AMERICAN LYRIC A provocative meditation on race fusing prose, poetry and the visual image. Shirley Jo Finney directs Stephen Sachs’ stage adaptation of Claudia Rankine’s internationally acclaimed book of poetry about everyday acts of racism in America. The Fountain Theatre, 5060 Fountain Ave., Los Angeles. Sat.-Mon. through Sept. 14. $15–$35. (323) 663-1525. fountaintheatre.com.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 25 VENTURA BLUEGRASS JAMS Milano’s Italian Restaurant, Patio, Ventura Harbor Village, 1559 Spinnaker Dr., Ventura.

(805) 658-0388. milanositalianrestaurant.com.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 27 SUNSET CONCERTS: NOVALIMA Guests may bring their own food. No outside alcoholic beverages or chairs are permitted.

Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Free admission. (310) 4404500. skirball.org.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 28 FIESTA LA BALLONA Fiesta La Ballona began as a weeklong celebration of the region’s early settlers and has evolved into a three-day festival. Named after the La Ballona Creek, a waterway that flows through Culver City, the popular event features live music, food trucks and a variety of food concessions, a beer and wine garden, carnival rides, artisan wares, and family-

32 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2 GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS First Baptist Church of Glendale, 209 N. Louise St., Glendale. Free. (818) 242-2113. glendalenoonconcerts.blogspot.com.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 KANSAS Saban Theatre, 8440 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. $38-$68. (888) 645-5006. sabantheatre.org.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16

TONY ORLANDO

No entertainer can move and excite an audience quite like Tony Orlando. From “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” and “Candida,” to “Knock Three Times,” and “Sweet Gypsy Rose.” Orlando brings to the stage a warmth and exhilarating energy that electrifies an audience. Saban Theatre, 8440 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. $38-$58.

(888) 645-5006. sabantheatre.org.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 A FLEA IN HER EAR Very strange bedfellows rub shoulders – and more – at the Hotel Coq d’Or in this work that is thought to be Feydeau’s comic masterpiece.

Based on older French farces, the demimonde and their caprices are exposed in this entertaining romp. A Noise Within, 3352 East Foothill Blvd., Pasadena. Through Nov.22.

Prices vary. (626) 356-3100. anoisewithin.org.

fears them. And their former drummer will stop at nothing to destroy them. Can these fab four from Liverpool find true love in London and cut an album in seven nights? Geffen Playhouse, 10886 Le Conte Ave., Los Angeles. Also Oct. 18. $39-$74 (310) 208-5454. geffenplayhouse. com.

FREE FIRST SUNDAY Free admission to the Museum of Ventura County including its galleries and any special events. Museum of Ventura County, 100 East Main St., Ventura. First Sunday of each month.

(805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org.

REAL WOMAN HAVE CURVES Set in a tiny sewing factory in East L.A., this is the story of five full-figured women racing to meet an impossible deadline to keep their tiny sewing factory in East L.A. from going under.

The Pasadena Playhouse, 39 S. El Molino Ave. Pasadena. Tues.-Sun. through Oct. 4. $47-$87.

(626) 356-7529. pasadenaplayhouse.org.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8 THESE PAPER BULLETS! Meet the Quartos. Ben, Claude, Balth, and Pedro. Their fans worship them. Scotland Yard

VENTURA BLUEGRASS JAMS Milano’s Italian Restaurant, Patio, Ventura Harbor Village, 1559 Spinnaker Dr., Ventura.

(805) 658-0388. milanos-italianrestaurant.com.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 BRIAN REGAN One of the premier comedians in the country, Regan’s comedic style is relatable to a wide audience and revered by his peers. The perfect balance of sophisticated writing and physicality, he consistently fills theaters nationwide with

CALeNDAR

August/September 2015 LA/Ventura fervent fans that span generations. Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza, Fred Kavli Theatre, 2100 E. Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks. $50.

(805) 449-2787. civicartsplaza.com.

DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES ART WALK This self-guided, public art walk brings art lovers and community friends together in downtown Los Angeles. 411 S. Main St., between Second and Ninth Streets, Los Angeles. Free. downtownartwalk.org.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11 RAVENSCROFT On a snowy night in rural England in the early 1900s, inspector Ruffing is called to a remote country estate to investigate a murder. He subsequently becomes involved in the lives of five intriguing and dangerous women. As everyone’s secrets and desires are revealed, Ruffing is bewildered, amused, and frightened as he is led to a dark encounter with the truth.

Kentwood Players, Westchester Playhouse, 8301 Hindry Ave., Westchester. Weekends through Oct. 17. $20-$25. (310) 645-5156. kentwoodplayers.org.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 THE PRINCES OF KINGS ROAD Inspired by a true incident, playwright Tom Lazarus imagines a 1953 reunion between iconic L.A. architects Richard Neutra and Rudolph Schindler — longtime friends and partners who have been estranged for 23 years — when they find themselves thrown together in a shared room at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital. Ensemble Studio Theatre/LA, 2379 Glendale Blvd., Silverlake.

Fri.-Sun. through Oct. 4. $25. (323) 6417747. www.ThePrincesofKingsRoad.com” theprinceofkingsroad.com.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 SECOND SUNDAY CONCERT Pasadena Central Library, 285 E Walnut, Pasadena. Free. (626) 398-0658.

eXHIBItIONS RAVI SHANKAR: A LIFE IN MUSIC This display features a collection of sitars played by Shankar throughout his life and career; performance attire, including outfits worn at Woodstock in 1969 and the Concert for Bangladesh, rare photographs from the Shankar family collection as well as original correspondences, writings and music. The Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, Fourth Floor, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Spring 2016. $12-$13. (213) 765-6803. grammymuseum.org.

BILL GRAHAM AND THE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL REVOLUTION Concert promoter Bill Graham (1931–1991), launched the careers of countless iconic acts in the 1960s at his famed Fillmore Auditorium including the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane and Janis Joplin. He also broke ground conceiving of rock ‘n’ roll as a force for humanitarian causes, spearheading

benefit concerts such as Live Aid (1985) and Human Rights Now! (1988). To chronicle Graham’s impact on American popular culture, more than 400 objects have been gathered, including Jerry Garcia’s “Wolf” guitar, and Janis Joplin’s tambourine and microphone used during a Fillmore East show. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles.

Through Oct. 11. $7-$10. (310) 440-4500. skirball.org.

JELLIES Delve into the mysterious world of sea jellies through this new exhibition. Often referred to as “jellyfish,” sea jellies are actually invertebrates or animals without backbones.

Explore the amazing life of these gelatinous animals and learn about their importance to our ocean planet through new exhibits, educational programs, a film and even art.

Ever wondered what a jelly feels like? You can even safely touch them. The Aquarium of the Pacific, 100 Aquarium Way, Long Beach.

Through April 30. $26-$29.

(562) 590-3100. aquariumofpacific.org.

SOMEDAY IS NOW: THE ART OF CORITA KENT This is the first full-scale exhibition to survey the entire career of pioneering artist and designer Corita Kent (1918–1986). For more than three decades, Kent experimented in printmaking, producing a groundbreaking body of work that combines faith, activism, and teaching with messages of acceptance and hope. Her work was widely recognized for its revolutionary impact and remains an iconic symbol of that period in American history.

Pasadena Museum of Art, 490 East Union Street, Pasadena. Through Nov. 1. $5-$7.

Wed.-Sun. (626) 568-3665. pmcaonline.org.

A WORSE PLACE THAN HELL The Changing Face of Abraham Lincoln. This new exhibition of George Stuart Historical Figures coincides with the 150-year anniversary of the death of our celebrated 16th U.S. president. Pivotal moments of Abraham Lincoln’s life and presidency are shown via Stuart’s three dimensional sculptures amid historic photographs. This exhibit illustrates how Lincoln’s appearance changed from clean-shaven to bearded, from vigorous to careworn and exhausted.

The carnage, grief and suffering, in addition to struggles in his personal life, weighed heavily on the president; a progression which Ojai-based sculptor George Stuart has so effectively captured in this series of Historical

Figures. Museum of Ventura County, 100 E. Main St., Ventura. Through Oct 11. $3-$4.

(805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org.

EMPIRE AND LIBERTY: THE CIVIL WAR AND THE WEST The West is seldom considered in the context of the Civil War, yet Westward expansion shaped the issues that ignited that tumultuous conflict. This exhibition combines personal stories of Americans with audio-visual

presentations and extraordinary historical artifacts. Come to know Sacagawea, John Sutter, Jesse and Frank James, Andrés Pico, Biddy Mason and Big Tree. Artifacts include: Jefferson Davis’s pistol, Ulysses S. Grant’s revolver, John Fremont’s 1842 expedition flag, George Armstrong Custer’s Bible and Kicking Bear’s muslin painting of the Battle of the Little Bighorn. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. Through Jan. 3. $6-$10. (323) 6672000. theautry.org.

GRANDES MAESTROS Great Masters of Iberoamerican Folk Art, Collection of Fomento Cultural Banamex.

A showcase of more than 1,200 works: colorful masks, intricate textiles, hand-carved

miniature sculptures, yarn paintings, clay animals, religious and political altarpieces — associated with daily use or ritual purpose, and immersed in the traditions and identity of Iberoamérica. Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County, Gem Vault, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Sept. 13. $9-$12.

(213) 763-3466. nhm.org.

KIM STRINGFELLOW’S JACKRABBIT HOMESTEAD Through photography and audio interviews, this exhibition details how the desire to flee the urban sprawl of Los Angeles and stake a claim in the fierce California desert resulted in both a collection of derelict cabins in the 1950s and the reclamation of the land for a burgeoning artistic community today. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. Through Aug. 23. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL BILLBOARDS OF THE SUNSET STRIP Featuring stunning photographs of handpainted billboards that dominated the Los Angeles landscape for almost two decades, this exhibition brings to life a unique period in the history of rock ‘n’ roll and the fabled Sunset Strip, whose nightclubs were the birthplace of rock ‘n’ roll royalty. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Aug. 16. $7-$10.

(310) 440-4500. skirball.org.

Get the Word Out. E-mail your announcements to Claire Fadden, cfadden@lifeafter50.com. Include a brief description, location, date, time, cost, phone and website. Submission does not guarantee publication. Deadline for the September/October calendar is August 1.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22

AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY

A vanished father. A pill-popping mother. Three sisters harboring shady little secrets.

When the Weston family unexpectedly reunites after dad disappears, their Oklahoman family homestead explodes in a maelstrom of repressed truths and unsettling secrets.

Will Geer’s Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Dates vary through Sept. 27. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 33

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Fridays: 11AM, 12PM, 1PM Saturdays, Sundays & Labor Day: 10AM, 11AM, 12PM, 1PM

Price: $1.00 per guest Ticket Booth & Boarding Location: Hornblower Cruises & Events 13755 Fiji Way, Marina del Rey, CA 90292

**Tickets cannot be purchased in advance. Please arrive at least 30 min. before cruise start time.**

Cruise Includes:

• 45-minute tour narrated by vessel captain • Information about Marina del Rey landmarks, history, amenities, and recreational opportunities • A look at marina animals and seabirds • Comfortable indoor and outdoor seating • Adult beverages, soft drinks, and snacks, as well as books from the Marina del Rey Historical Society, available for purchase

For further information about Marina del Rey, such as programs, events, and activities, please visit: www.mdr50.com or call (310) 305-9545.

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O

ne of the great joys of European travel is eating. If you let yourself tune in to the experience, a meal is a travel thrill in itself – as inspiring as visiting an art gallery and as stimulating as a good massage.

I have only a few basic rules for eating my way through Europe: Find places outside the tourist zones, go for local specialties, eat seasonally, and most of all, eat fearlessly, trying things you’ve never had in places you’ve never been.

Begin by looking for welcoming spots filled with locals. On a recent visit to France, I sat amid a crush of happy French diners in an atmospheric, wood-timbered restaurant. Portraits of long-forgotten city fathers kept an eye on us from the walls.

I ordered top end, my travel partner took the basic menu, and as usual, we shared. To start, we treated ourselves to a dozen juicy escargots.

I gently pried a snail out of its shell and popped it into my mouth. The taste was so striking that I found myself requesting silence at the table. It was just my mouth and the garlic-drenched snails, all alone on the dance floor of my palate.

I recommend an occasional gourmet splurge like my meal in France, especially in countries with noteworthy cuisines. But all across Europe, there are eating options to fit every budget and taste, and now that most interiors in Europe are essentially smoke-free, you can breathe while you eat.

Most restaurants have a wellpriced menu of the day, offering a choice of appetizer, entrée, and dessert at a fixed amount. These

menus aren’t just for tourists; savvy local diners are also quick to order the daily special. If you aren’t sure what to choose, take a minute before you order to observe what’s being served at the tables around you.

I like to stretch my budget (and conserve my waistline) by sharing dishes. Don’t be intimidated by a menu listing multiple courses – you’re not expected to order one of each. A good rule of thumb is for each person to order any two courses.

For example, two people can order and share one appetizer, one pasta dish, one fish dish, and one dessert – or choose two appetizers and two pastas – or whatever combination appeals.

Wherever you dine, you’ll eat better if you understand the basic menu terms. A phrase book can help you get trota (trout) instead of tripa (innards) in Italy, and ostras (oysters) instead of orejas (pig ears) in Spain.

Adapt to the culture you’re visiting. In most European restaurants, dining is not rushed and the table is yours for the entire evening. The waiter or waitress is there to serve you, but will remain in the background. Out of courtesy, you won’t be presented with the bill until you ask for it.

Many sit-down restaurants take the mystery out of tipping by including a service charge in the bill. Study the menu for words like service compris or servizio incluso. An additional tip is not expected in these cases, but if you liked the service, simply round up the bill a bit. This varies from country to country, so get advice from locals.

If you’re looking for a quick bite, you have plenty of options. Every country in Europe has its own cheap and delicious street food.

Rick St eveS’ t RavelS

By Rick Steves

In Greece, try the corner souvlaki stand. For fast food Istanbul style, grab a fishwich at the waterfront, fresh from the guys who caught it. Order up a razor-thin crêpe from a street vendor in Paris, and then choose a filling to make it savory or sweet.

If you’d rather take a seat while you eat, there are lots of casual bars and bistros. Eating at a corner café costs only a little more than lunch at a fast-food joint, but you’ll be chowing down on local fare that’s typical of the region.

One of the best examples of this is in Spain.

Every town tempts you with tapas bars, where you belly up to the bar and just point at appetizers you’d like to try. In Denmark, I love the traditional open-faced sandwiches, with simple toppings elegantly perched on a slice of bread. In Bavaria, there’s nothing more local than a knuckle of pork, spiral-cut radishes, sauerkraut, and a huge pretzel.

When I’m enjoying a delicious meal, I always appreciate hearing the quiet murmurs of other diners around me. It lets me know that I’m among like-minded souls who treat eating as bliss. Communing with others over good food, served in a setting respectful of tradition and place, is cultural tourism at its tastiest.

Rick Steves writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and radio. You can e-mail him at rick@ricksteves.com and visit his website at www.ricksteves.com.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 35

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The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

Bobby Wonderful: An Imperfect Son Buries His Parents

By Bob Morris

“I

t’s perfect!”

Once upon a time, those words were music to your ears – but then you grew up. You learned then that a made bed didn’t make the man, good enough generally was, and, as in the new book “Bobby Wonderful”

by Bob Morris, sometimes it’s better to ignore perfection and simply focus on a life – or lives – well-lived.

As Morris watches his husband, Ira, struggle with his mother’s aging issues, Morris understands the emotions Ira’s going through. Caring for an elderly parent “has become the new normal,” Morris says, and he should know: he helped tend to his own parents at the end of their lives.

As his mother lay dying, Morris remembered how, when he was a child, she encouraged him to see beauty in the world around him. She loved music and was “a good mother” whose messy, painful death brought out the worst in Morris and his brother. Oh, how they fought during her final year, though her passing also showed Morris how much he truly loved and admired his older sibling.

At the funeral, Morris only wanted to talk about his mother, but “nobody seems to know how.”

Not long afterward, on a “sunny summer Monday,” Morris’ father tried to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills. Though he’d seemed to heal well from his wife’s illness and death – at eightysomething, he’d plunged back into the dating scene – his “quiet despair about his failing heart,” previously unnoticed, shook the Morris brothers to their cores. Things became worse, and as their father began to desperately hound Morris for pills to end his life, Morris looked for ways to enhance his father’s days, but time was running out and they both knew it.

During his last hospitalization, the elder Morris told his sons that he wanted off life support. It was a wish they let him have.

“Caring for your parents is an opportunity,” says Morris. “But we have no parents now, nobody to love us in the way they did. And we also have no worries now, no concerns for a suffering so close that it often felt like our own.”

Some 65 million Americans, says Morris, are caregivers. That could be why this memoir will strike a chord for many readers of Life‍ Afte‍r 50, but, aside from common-bond feelings that children of aging parents will find familiar, “Bobby Wonderful” is also a love letter wrapped inside a very beautiful, moving story. Morris’ cherished memories of his parents’ good times seem to buffer the pain of loss, and that he shares those vivid, personal recollections is a delight. Still, readers get small peeks into irritation here, exasperation, even anger sometimes, which all totally fit in this memoir. I would have, in fact, been disappointed without them.

My best advice is to grab tissues before you start this book. You’ll have abundant reason to use them, especially if you’re caring for your own parents. If that’s the case, for you, “Bobby Wonderful” will live up to its title.

“Bobby Wonderful: An Imperfect Son Buries His Parents” by Bob Morris, 2015, Twelve, $25.00, 192 pages.

The‍ Bookworm is Te‍rri Schliche‍nme‍ye‍r who live‍s on a hill with two dogs and more‍ than 12,000 books. You can re‍ad more‍ of he‍r book re‍vie‍ws at www.life‍afte‍r50.com. Just click on “Ente‍rtainme‍nt” and the‍n “Book Re‍vie‍ws.”

A Look Back

T

his month marks the passing of 50 years since Bob Dylan released his sixth studio album, “Highway 61 Revisited.” A departure from his acoustic sound, Dylan employed rock musicians for every track, except for the ballad, “Desolation Row.” Critics and fans alike embraced this offering that wove blues-based rock with poetic lyrics to create an album that reflected the political and cultural chaos of 1965 America. The album, named for the highway that connects Dylan’s birthplace – Duluth, Minnesota – to the lands that gave birth to the blues – St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans and Mississippi, reached number three on the U.S. charts and has been ranked number four on Rolling Stone‍’s “500 Greatest Albums of All Time” list. The album’s hit, “Like a Rolling Stone,” was also listed – with blatant favoritism – as number one on Rolling Stone‍’s “500 Greatest Songs of All Time” list. The cover photo, taken by Daniel Kramer, shows Dylan on the stoop of a building. Behind him, pictured from his waist down in an orange and white striped shirt and holding a camera, is his friend, Bob Neuwirth, whom Kramer said he added just to give the photo some color. Neuwirth was seemingly omnipresent in the company of well-known musicians of the era. An artist, sometime-road manager, poet, legendary womanizer and partier, Neuwirth went on to become a filmmaker and a singer-songwriter in his own right, best-known for co-writing “Mercedes Benz” with another one of his friends – Janis Joplin.

38 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Just A Thought Before We Go “To be in harmony with the atmosphere of summer, awaken early in the morning and reach to the sun for nourishment to flourish as the gardens do. Work, play, travel, be joyful, and grow into selfless service.” ― Paul Pitchford

Southern California’s Premier Lifestyle, Health and Active Aging Expo Series! Free Admission & Parking!

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It’s What You WERE BORN

TO DO

Self-Coaching

FOR SUCCESS REMEMBERING

COCO CHANEL

PAUL ANKA Still Doing It

His Way

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All seniors 62 and over will receive FREE Stretch Run admission, a FREE program and a FREE seat with ID.

Contents

August 2015

10

18

22

24

Cover Profile

Departments

10 Paul Anka

6 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

Still doing it his way.

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of.

Features

8 It’s The Law

Mitchell A. Karasov on mitigating manipulation and mistrust.

18 Today Is Your Day To Shine It’s what you were born to do!

20 Self-Coach Yourself To Become The Best You Can Be The key to a happier and more productive life.

27 Let’s Get Out

Looking to get out and about? Our August/September calendar has some great suggestions.

30 Tuned In To What’s On

22 The Look Of Life After 50 – Jane Hitchcock

The best in August television viewing.

A model for retaining style, beauty and grace at any age.

The art of tasty tourism.

24 The Hallowed Hall Of Must-Knowtables * Coco Chanel Legendary notables that everyone, of every age, should know.

31 Rick Steves’ Travels

34 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

A book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

Cover photo by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com All material published within this issue of Life After 50 and on www.lifeafte50.com is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. No individual, advice, product or service is in any way endorsed by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. or provided as a substitute for the reader’s seeking of individualized professional advice or instruction. Readers should seek the advice of qualified professionals on any matter regarding an individual, advice, recommendations, services or products covered within this issue. All information and material is provided to readers with the understanding that it comes from various sources from which there is no warranty or responsibility by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. as to its or their legality, completeness or technical accuracy.

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Editor’s Note...

The True Times Of Our Lives

I

t has been a last minute scramble to get this issue of Life After 50 out and I am singularly the guilty party for that. The reason: Smack dab in the middle of putting this issue together, I took a week off to spend time in New York and Connecticut with people I greatly love.

Few, if any, weeks of my life will be as memorable as being the houseguest of a man who has been my all-time inspiration, attending the wedding of the daughter of another man who, since I was eight-years-old, has been my alltime hero, and spending time with many wonderful people whose friendships are amongst my alltime most treasured.

Following that wonderful week, as the wheels of the plane that brought me back to Los Angeles lifted from the runway of Kennedy Airport, two thoughts ran through my mind. The first: When it all ends for me and the Grim Reaper comes a-callin’, the memories of that week will be among those that will be the most precious and treasured times of my life. The second: There has never been a tangible “thing” created for which I would exchange those times and memories.

Back in L.A. for only a few days, I found myself on the way to the home of Paul Anka to do the photo shoot for this issue. Getting myself into the mood, I listened to an album of his greatest hits during the drive. Somewhere, while traversing the canyons on the outskirts of L.A., his 1975 hit “Times of Your Life” played. I’ve heard that song innumerable times, but during that drive, having just returned from that very special week, Bill Lane’s lyrics resonated more deeply than ever before.

“So gather moments while you may. Collect the dreams you dream today.

Remember, will you remember the times of your life?”

We’ve all heard about the psychological research that suggests, in the long run, experiences provide far more happiness and satisfaction than any possession can ever offer. In that moment, as Anka’s song played and I reflected on the recent memories I had just gathered, I would be truly disingenuous by not wholeheartedly agreeing with that research and also admitting to succumbing to a bit of emotion.

Later that day, as I made mention of Anka’s beautiful home, he shrugged and said it doesn’t matter what kind of house you have or where it is as long as it is a home filled with love. “You get to a certain age and you start to look at life through the prism of what really matters,” he told me.

Yep, I thought to myself when he said that. A magnificent, gold record-filled mansion isn’t a bad place to spend the times of your life. But in the end, even the most spectacular of places and possessions pale against the treasure we collect in memories, fulfilled dreams and time spent with those we love and who love us.

They are the things that truly constitute the times of our lives.

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor-in-Chief David Laurell Associate Editors Steve Stoliar Claire Yezbak Fadden Art Director Michael Kraxenberger Editorial Assistant Max Andrews VP Of Finance Michael T. Nagami Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Linda Lam Billing Supervisor Kacie Cobian VP Of Operations David Comden

To contact our editorial department: (818) 563-1007 davidl@lifeafter50.com

Account Executives: San Diego County/Orange County Phil Mendelson Phil@lifeafter50.com Los Angeles/ Valley/Travel Beverly Sparks Beverly@lifeafter50.com For advertising/distribution inquiries contact: Valarie Anderson (310) 822-1629 x 121, Valarie@lifeafter50.com 5301 Beethoven St., Suite 183 LA CA 90066 Valarie Anderson Valarie@lifeafter50.com 310 822-1629 x 121

Follow us on facebook @Life_After50

©2015 Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved

An August Thought

“Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only.

Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.”

– Coco Chanel

Skincare AFTER 50

DERMATOLOGIST SPOTLIGHT O’Connell Der matology is dedicated to patients achieving visible results BROWN SPOTS BE GONE More than 71 million Americans suffer from rough dark/brown spots on their skin, which are often diagnosed as seborrheic keratosis.

These blemishes are a rising concern among those over 50, and O’Connell Dermatology offers specially tailored Clearista facials and applications to address these brown spots and improve the skin’s appearance.

SOLUTIONS BY A MEDICAL AESTHETICIAN Penny Johnson is the Medical Aesthetician at O’Connell Dermatology and offers a personalized and professional approach in helping to improve skin health. She develops

CLEARISTA CLEAR The latest technology in skin care takes your appearance to a whole new level.

T

he skin resurfacing cosmetic line called Clearista ®

promises a new way to address skin and improve the appearance of fine lines, roughness, brown spots,and signs of premature aging. Created by Skincential Sciences, a San Francisco biotech cosmetic company, Clearista is a scientifically proven and patented solution aimed at making your skin look

med spas alike as this season’s must-have skin care cosmetic line.This latest innovation represents a new paradigm in skincare that aims to resurface the skin in a highly effective and gentle manner by using only water-based ingredients.

The advanced formulation is a co m p lete ski n re -t e xt uri z i ng cosmetic solution, enabling skin softening and smoothing benefits with results often

younger.

in O, The Oprah Magazine, Cosmo, and other California publications, Clearista is being adopted by dermatologists and

At its core, Clearista works to retexture the outer surface of your skin. The formula enables increased hydration and resurfacing to happen, resulting in a reduction in the appearance of unsightly blemishes and roughness. The scientifically proven

solution

helps

skin

appear younger and softer without causing irritation or damage.

The

Clearista

customized skincare programs for all skin types, making sure to stay on top of the latest research and trends. Her areas of expertise include treatments for tightening, toning and brightening of the skin, fine lines, wrinkles, sun damage, acne and hyperpigmentation.

BREAKTHROUGH SCIENCE

Professional

line is available through select spas and dermatology offices, with premium home solutions

Users rave about results, claiming “There’s nothing quite like it!” And it seems others are taking notice. Featured

thought to be achievable only with lasers, dermabrasion, and chemical peels.

When asked, Penny shares her vision for each patient: “My goal is to make every one of my clients feel like she or he is with a friend. Every client’s program is designed for his or her personal skin needs. I love making people look and feel good about themselves.”

Book your appointment with O’Connell Dermatology for the best in skincare treatments and for a chance to try the Clearista Professional skincare line.

23451 Madison Street, Suite 190 Bldg.7 In Torrance 310-373-6952 www.oconnelldermatology.com

also available at CLEARISTA. com. Clearista products are cruelty-free and contain no ABOVE: Before and after brown spot (seborrheic keratosis) removal with the Professional Clearista Refining Pen, 2 months post treatment

parabens

or

synthetic

dyes

or fragrances. Products are environmentally friendly and manufactured in California.

—KRISTIE COLÓN

Penny Johnson, Medical Aesthetician, O’CONNELL DERMATOLOGY

50

The United States Of Youth And Diversity

A

Plus

What You Need To Know

By Claire Yezbak Fadden and Max Andrews

Read All About It! A Generational Divide

F

ifty-plussers and their children get their news about politics and government from widely different sources, according to a recent study conducted by Pew Research Center. In “Millennials and Political News,” researchers discovered that over 60 percent of online millennials rely on Facebook for political news in a given week. Compared to baby boomers, who tune in to local television news channels as their top choice at nearly the same 60 percent rate.

The analysis suggests that millennials hold a relatively low reliance on local television for political news (37 percent). Fifty-plussers echo those comparatively low numbers with their reliance on Facebook (39 percent) as a viable news source. When selecting topics they are most interested in from a list of nine possibilities, about one in four millennials (26 percent) selects politics and government to be in their top three. That is lower than both gen Xers (34 percent) and baby boomers (45 percent).

Millennials also are less familiar with many of the media sources asked about in the survey, which range from USA Today to Slate magazine. To read the complete report, click on www.pewresearch.org.

Fifty Candles

F

ifty years ago this month, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act of 1965 into law; Singapore gained independence from Malaysia; a six-day riot started in the Watts section of Los Angeles; the Beatles visited Elvis Presley at his Bel-Air home; the American Football League awarded its first expansion franchise to Joseph Robbie and actor Danny Thomas, who named their team the Miami Dolphins; astronauts Gordon Cooper and Pete Conrad completed 120 Earth orbits in Gemini Five and legendary baseball player-manager Casey Stengel announced his retirement after 55 years in the sport. Notable personalities born in August 1965 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include actresses Viola Davis, Marlee Matlin, Kyra Sedgwick and Dina Spybey, actors Kevin Dillon and Chris Burke, country singer Shania Twain and author Blake Nelson.

6 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

mericans born between 1982 and 2000 now number 83.1 million and represent more than one quarter of the nation’s population. Their size surpasses the 75.4 million baby boomers, according to new United States Census Bureau estimates released recently. These latest population estimates examine changes among groups by age, sex, race and origin, nationally, as well as in all states and counties, between April 2010 and July 2014. Overall, millennials are more diverse than the generations that preceded them, with 44.2 percent being part of a minority race or ethnic group. Even more diverse than millennials are the youngest Americans: those younger than five years old. In 2014, this group became the majority for the first time, with 50.2 percent being part of a minority race or ethnic group.

Style Never Goes Out Of Style

A

ngela Hill, a lifestyle columnist for the Bay Area News Group, recently pressed wardrobe consultants Brenda Kinsel and Adena DiTonno for their tips on staying stylish after 50. Among the suggestions they offered 50-plusers: • Cool it with the trendiness. When it comes to the latest trends, Kinsel suggests that one incorporate the 50-percent solution. “Just a little bit of a trend goes a long way. Cut the trend back to just one touch of something in a belt or a shoe. You’ll be showing you’re still engaged in the trend, but not overdoing it.”

• Show some flair. “Flared jeans are back,” says DiTonno. “They’re terrific for women over 50 – really flattering. But don’t go crazy with jeans that have decorations and studs.”

• Get framed! “Cool glasses are on-trend,” says DiTonno. “Stylish eyewear can do everything to update a look. Visit a place that has current styles, which might not be your ophthalmologist.”

• Take a powder on the makeup. “For women over 50, less is more,” Kinsel says. “That doesn’t necessarily mean fewer products, but less use.”

• Kick it up. “They don’t have to be Jimmy Choo or Prada, but don’t give up on fashion when it comes to footwear,” says DiTonno. “You can get comfort and support without looking like you’re wearing nurse’s shoes, which are fine if you’re a nurse, but not otherwise.”

A Little More You Need To Know Photo courtesy of Minnesota Historical Society

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month

Take Your Best Shot

A

ugust is National Immunization Awareness Month, the perfect time to promote vaccines and remind family, friends and coworkers to stay up to date on their shots.

Some adults incorrectly assume the vaccines they received as children will protect them for the rest of their lives. Generally this is true, except: • Some adults were never vaccinated as children.

• Newer vaccines were not available when some adults were children.

Where You Need To Go

• Immunity can begin to fade over time.

Step Back In Time To 1968

• As we age, we become more susceptible to serious disease caused by common infections (such as flu and pneumococcus).

he Vietnam War, protests and assassinations were in the news. Peace signs, love-ins and psychedelic rock were the scene. The year was 1968, a turning point for a generation coming of age and a nation at war.

From its darkest hours to the incredible highs, the year 1968 comes alive in an extraordinary new exhibit at the Bowers Museum in Santa Ana. This exhibition explores 12 months of relentless, culture-shifting, life-changing, memory-stamping events. This ambitious multimedia exhibit looks at how the events of that year fueled a persistent, if often contradictory, sense of identity for the people who were there, as well as for those who came after. The sights and sounds of this mediasaturated age fill the exhibit and stories from the people who were there. Three interactive lounges focus on music, design, movies and television.

Organized chronologically by the months of the year, the 5,000-square-foot exhibit begins in January with a Huey helicopter (the kind flown in Vietnam) inside an avocado-green living room designed from a 1968 Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Visitors can cast a presidential vote for Richard Nixon or Hubert Humphrey on a 1968-era voting machine; stand next to a life-sized reproduction of the Apollo Eight space capsule, and view clothing worn by Jimi Hendrix and the “Laugh-In” cast.

Learn about hippies, counter-culture movements, women’s liberation and social movements. Examine album covers from 1968, and have the opportunity to design a cover of your own. Use your mobile device to access an online calendar of 1968 events, film footage and oral history excerpts at www.the1968exhibit.org.

According to the Center for Disease Control, every adults needs:

T

• An influenza (flu) vaccine every year.

• A Tdap vaccine once if they did not receive it as an adolescent to protect against pertussis (whooping cough), and then a Td (tetanus, diphtheria) booster shot every 10 years.

Other vaccines you may need as an adult are determined by factors such as age, lifestyle, health conditions, job, international travel and any previous vaccines you have received.

Not sure what vaccinations you need? Click on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website at www2.cdc.gov/nip/ adultImmSched/ and take a quick quiz for the answer.

Bowers Museum, 2002 N. Main Street, Santa Ana. Through September 13. $12.

(714) 567-3679. www.bowers.org.

New Words

Y

ou might not find them in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean.

Dramedy: A movie or television show that combines elements of comedy and drama.

Sharrow: A pavement marking using a bicycle symbol and two white chevrons. The marking is used to remind motorists that bicyclists are permitted to use the full lane. Sharrows are found on streets where there are no striped bicycle lanes.

Swapportunity: A chance to barter or swap for goods or services instead of paying cash.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7

It’s The Law Mitchell A. Karasov

Mitchell A. Karasov, Esq. has offices in Los Angeles, Ventura County and the Coachella Valley. He specializes in elder law with emphasis in estate planning, Medi-Cal eligibility, trust administration, probate, conservatorships of person or estate, estate and trust litigation and financial abuse litigation. For more information click on www.karasovelderlaw.com or call (818) 508-7192.

Mitigating Manipulation and Mistrust

Q

My mom passed away last month. During her brief illness, she had named my brother as her power of attorney so he could pay her bills. I knew she had made a will that named him as the first executor with me as the second and that everything she owned was to be evenly divided between us. I was always okay with my mom having put my brother first to execute the will, because he is better with money issues than I am.

My problem is that I don’t trust my brother’s wife. I think she may have manipulated him into buying her a car and other expensive items with my mom’s money before she died. I understand the will must be probated, but during this process, how can I be sure that I will be protected? Should I bring up my concerns and ask that my brother be removed as executor? I would also like to know if I have any other options to make sure my brother won’t cheat me to keep his wife happy.

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8 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

A

First, please accept my condolences on your mother’s passing. Secondly, let me say that the mistrust you have of your sister-in-law may not be unfounded. Your mom may have had similar concerns and that is why she chose a will over a trust. Unlike a trust that requires no court involvement, a will, for most estates, requires court-oversight from the very beginning to the disbursements of the bequests. The process includes submitting the original will for safekeeping by the court. Your brother will have to file documents to ask the court to approve the will and his appointment as the executor of the estate; report estate assets and their appraised values, as well as any income or expenses during his administration of the estate; and ultimately, close out the estate by distributing the respective inheritance shares. Generally, this process can be handled within a year, assuming a qualified attorney is representing the executor and there are no complications with assets or family feuds.

Although there are many safeguards in the system, you may want to pursue additional protective measures. You could request that your brother be bonded. The bonding company would reimburse the estate if he is found to have mismanaged the finances. Also, the court may order that all sales be court-supervised. This would help to avoid or minimize the risk of any sales for below-market values. If you really think that he did buy items for his wife with your mom’s money or did anything else improper while serving as power of attorney, you could request that your brother account for your mom’s income and expenses prior to her passing. If it is found that he did mishandle funds, he could be disqualified as an executor. If that were to happen, you would be the next in line to ask the court to be appointed as the executor. That would eliminate the risk of your brother cheating you, and also put you on the hot seat to manage the estate properly. Since you mentioned that your brother was better with money issues than you are, I would want to know if that means you’re not good with handling money. If that is the case, I would suggest you hire an attorney who routinely handles cases such as yours. It sounds like you may need a lot of assistance in the process in case of potential attacks by your brother.

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Cover Profile

Paul anka Still Doing It His Way Story by David Laurell * Photos by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com 10 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

W

hile the awarding of accolades for achieving “legendary” status are, today, legendary in their own right by their hyperbolic overuse, the term more than accurately applies to Paul Anka who, as a singer, songwriter and musician, has sold more than 90 million copies of his 126 albums and 22 Top 20 hits, five of which he scored before he was 18-years-old.

If that achievement alone didn’t qualify Anka for legendary status, consider that he has also been named the 21st most-successful artist in Billboard’s history, is the only artist to have a song in the Billboard Top 100 during seven consecutive decades, is the lyricist of one of the world’s greatest ballads – “My Way” – and the composer of one of the most recognized theme songs in television history – the theme for “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.”

The Canadian-born Anka formed his own vocal group, The Bobbysoxers, when he was just 13 and, before his 16th birthday, released his first single, “Blau-Wile Deveest Fontaine,” followed by “Diana,” which hit Number One and made him a star. The youngest entertainer to ever perform at the Copacabana, a de facto mascot and associate of the Rat Pack, and the cowriter of Michael Jackson’s posthumous Number One hit, “This Is It,” Anka’s legendary status as one of the most prolific and versatile singer/songwriters of all-time has been secured and is brilliantly recounted in his New York Times bestselling autobiography, “My Way” (St. Martin’s Press, 2013).

Still performing to worldwide audiences, the man who, along with “Diana,” gave the world such hits as “You Are My Destiny,” “Lonely Boy,” “Put Your Head On My Shoulder,” “Puppy Love,” “Having My Baby,” “One Man Woman, “I Don’t Like to Sleep Alone,” “Nothing Stronger Than Our Love” and “Times of Your Life,” recently invited Life After 50 to spend a day with him at his magnificent home on the outskirts of Los Angeles.

We began our visit with the musical icon, who turned 74 on July 30, by asking what he learned about himself by writing his autobiography.

Paul Anka (PA): I don’t think I really learned anything about myself I didn’t know, but it was a very cathartic experience. As I got into it, I would think about where the time has gone and about all the people with whom I’ve shared so many moments and memories. life After 50 (lA50): The novelist and literary critic Malcolm Cowley once wrote of f. Scott fitzgerald, and i’m paraphrasing, that his novels were written from the perspective of a man who had taken the most beautiful girl to a formal ball and, at the same time he was whirling her around the ballroom in white tie and tails, he was also a little Midwestern boy peering through the window and wondering how much it cost to attend such an event. one can’t help but imagine you in that role as they read your book.

PA: Right, right. Which would be the same analogy I use in the opening of the book, in which I write that I felt like Henry Hill in “Goodfellas,” who says that as far back as he could remember, he always wanted to be a gangster – to live out a fantasy. lA50: it should come as no surprise that one of the world’s premiere songwriters would also write one of the most entertaining and compelling books about the early days of rock ‘n’ roll, vegas, the mob, the rat Pack and the music industry. it is very evident in reading your book that you love the process of putting your thoughts and stories into written form.

PA: Well, thank you. Yes, that’s true. The writing aspect of my life has always been very important to me. I had once considered becoming a journalist and, in fact, did work for a newspaper for a while. Writing was always my

foundation and it has allowed me to survive through every decade of my career. When I stared out, there were always guys around who sang as well or better than me, and I wasn’t one of the good-looking little pretty boys. I was a writer who became a good singer and entertainer as time went by. But without the writing, I frankly don’t know if any of my success would have happened or where I would be today. lA50: So one must believe that a person who loves to express himself by writing as much as you do must have a novel sitting around in that proverbial bottom dresser drawer that every writer has?

PA: [laughs] Let’s just say there are a lot of notes and potential ideas.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11

lA50: Ah-ha! So we can look forward to a Paul Anka novel at some point, yes?

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PA: Maybe. lA50: Because you’ve always had such a passion for songwriting, i’m sure few things have meant more than hearing someone you admire sing your words. You write in your book that when you first heard Sinatra’s recording of “My Way,” you actually cried.

PA: Absolutely. He, of course, recorded that song as his career was coming to an end. Here was a guy who had so greatly inspired and impacted me, and so many artists, and society itself. When I was a kid, I idolized him and the Rat Pack, because there had never been anything else like them. And Frank was the guy. When I was staring out, all the young singers wanted to be like him. And years later, I remember sitting with him at dinner one night and he mentioned

that he was thinking about retiring soon. He had always asked me to write something for him, but when he mentioned he was going to retire, that was the motivating factor for me to write “My Way.” So I sat down at my little electric typewriter at one in the morning and asked myself what Frank would want to say at that point in his life and career. Then that first line came, which says it all: “And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain.” After I had that line, it just all came out. I wrote it as if he was writing it – using his jargon. “I ate it up and spit it out.” That was him. lA50: You wrote “My Way” as Sinatra’s theme song, but so many people have adopted it as their own. That must be hugely gratifying for you.

PA: It’s wonderful. Yes, Frank inspired me to write it, but people have grabbed it and used it in different ways that are very personal to them, which is very touching. I have been very moved by that. Warren Buffett, who is a wonderful friend, once told me he wanted “My Way” sung at his funeral, so I told him we would record him singing it, which we did. And that recording is now tucked away and no one will hear it till he’s gone. lA50: When it comes to living life on one’s own terms, you made a comment in your book that many teen idols have had a tough go of that – that they just couldn’t keep up the success or even keep their lives together as they got older. That never happened to you. You escaped the pitfalls that claimed the careers, and even the lives, of so many singers who hit it big when they were very young.

PA: Well, like I said, I have had a lengthy career largely because I’m a writer. Many of the other singers in the early 1960s didn’t have that going for them. I think Bobby Darin and I were the only two. So, because we wrote songs, we were even able to survive the British Invasion that bounced so many singers of the time off the radio. lA50: in your book, you masterfully tell stories of so many of the legends you knew and worked with – elvis, Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr. – in a way that clearly relays your admiration and respect for them, and yet doesn’t gloss over their all-too-human frailties.

PA: Well, my book isn’t an “as told by” story. It’s by a guy who actually lived it and was there. So for what may or may not be my only shot at telling my story, and their story, I didn’t want it to be fluff. I wanted it to be totally honest. There was no reason not to do that, because none of us are perfect and there really isn’t anything in my book that betrays any confidences. Yes, these guys were legends and icons – the likes we will never see again – but they were also just human beings and when they started out, they weren’t sophisticated or prepared for the kind of success they achieved. When you are thrown into that when you are young, hopefully, during your journey, you come to learn things and gain the wisdom and wherewithal to handle that kind of success. But for some, that never happens. Hey, they all made mistakes, so I wanted to tell their story as I saw it. I approached my book with blatant honesty, the way Donald Trump is conducting his presidential campaign. He’s just telling it like it is, or at least the way he sees it, for better or for worse. I think the reason he has resonated is because people are sick of being fed so much bullshit. They are tired of being had by the government – by politicians. lA50: only a skilled writer like yourself could refer to someone as being bizarre, odd and remarkable all in one sentence; which is how you describe Trump.

PA: [laughing] Right, right. I have known Donald for years. I admire the business – the empire – he has built, and also that he is who he is, take him or leave him. He has never been any other way and he has always been very good to me. So I make no judgment of what he is doing. He is the kind of guy who is always going to do what he wants to do and not care what anyone thinks. He’s his own man, and we’ll see how that all shakes out. He’s like so many of those high-end big boys who conduct their lives the way they chose and just let the chips fall where they may.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 13

lA50: Getting back to music, it’s interesting that you say you have an appreciation for today’s music, even though you don’t get it. That, of course, puts you in the vast majority with just about anyone over 30. But let’s talk about that. Why is it that people continue to embrace new films and books and plays throughout their lives, but their musical tastes seem to totally arrest at some point, usually in their early 30s?

early and take care of whatever work has to be handled and then I do something with my son. We play ball or do something together. That is very important to me.

PA: I think it’s understandable. The framing of a play or a book or a movie is always basically the same, but music changes dramatically – lyrically and technically and in the way it is presented. I also think that music is based on each generation having something to call their own. If every generation doesn’t have a personal ownership of their music, they won’t accept it. Music is a very personal thing and everyone wants to embrace something they can call their own. As an artist myself, I do appreciate what an artist of any era creates, but today’s music just doesn’t appeal to me, as it doesn’t to most people my age. It just doesn’t compute in my brain.

PA: Well, different only because the dynamic is different. I would say my core parenting is the same, but today I do have more time than I did when my girls were young. And he’s a boy – so that makes a difference, too.

lA50: Speaking of music that computes in our brains, if you were to ask most anyone, even loyal viewers of David letterman or Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy fallon, to hum their theme songs, they couldn’t do it. And yet, you would be hard-pressed to find a baby boomer who wouldn’t recognize Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show” theme within the first four notes.

PA: Well, the objective with that was to create, in about 10 seconds, something people would identify and relate to. I think, today, it has maybe gotten cool or hip to do theme songs that don’t lend themselves to a melody. lA50: Why did fred de Cordova, who produced “The Tonight Show,” or Carson himself, or whoever had the final say, come to you to do the show’s theme song and not to Skitch Henderson, who was the show’s musical director?

PA: They did originally go to Skitch, who ran the entire music department there, but it was Johnny who made the decision to use my composition. So here’s the story: Years before, I had hired Johnny as a comic for a show I did in Europe. And then, when he got “The Tonight Show,” he and I were talking and he mentioned that he needed a theme song. I told him I was both the wrong guy [not wanting to step on Henderson’s toes] and the right guy to do that. So I went forward and made a demo, sent it to Johnny, and he really liked it. But then, when he took it to Skitch, he got the pushback. Skitch said: “What are you crazy! I do the music for this show!” So, as the story goes, Skitch wasn’t going to accept it. Knowing that, I came up with an idea. I gave half of the song’s rights to Johnny and it went on to be the theme, because he was the final say and because money talks [laughs]. lA50: in the 1970s, you did a string of duets that went on to be hits with an amazing singer you introduced to the world – odia Coates.

How did you two meet?

PA: Odia was a great singer and a great person. I found her when I was looking for the right person to do “Having My Baby.” That song was quite controversial back then. We knew it would be and we promoted the controversy of it, which helped make it a hit. I knew it would make for a great duet and I put the word out that I was looking for a singer. So we found Odia, who was singing with a gospel group, and we brought her in to test and she was just great. lA50: What a shame we lost her so young. Who knows, had she lived, what she may have achieved as a solo artist?

PA: Very true. She really did all she could to bravely fight breast cancer. I do believe she would have gone on to have had a great career. She had a great style, a great voice, she had the looks – just everything. It was a tremendous hit to lose her. lA50: Paul, can you give us an idea of what a typical day is like for you when you’re not on the road performing?

PA: All my business operations are now run out of my home. That is because I have a 10-year-old son, Ethan, and my life is dedicated to him. So, I get up

14 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

LA50: Do you find yourself to be a different father to Ethan than you were to your older girls?

lA50: let’s talk about how you keep in such great shape. Diet? exercise?

PA: I do exercise. I’ve always been a bit of a health nut. I have always taken good care of myself. You have to make choices of how you want to live. If you fuel up with the right things, it makes a huge difference. I’ll have a glass of wine now and then, but I’m not a big drinker. I’ve seen the toll drinking has taken on too many friends of mine. I’ve never been a smoker. I take some select vitamins and I keep active. And I think it’s also about maintaining a lack of drama and stress in your life. Those things can really take their toll on you.

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lA50: When we were doing the photos of you out by your pool, we were talking about your beautiful home and you said it doesn’t matter where you live as long as your home is filled with love.

PA: Right. To me, one of the great words is “home.” You get to a certain age and you start to look at life through the prism of what really matters. Stuff that used to matter doesn’t matter anymore. The gold records and the awards, they’re great, but what really matters is the love you have for your family and the people you care about. I know people of great means – billionaires – who come home to houses without love. When I walk into my home, I feel the love of my children and my grandchildren and my fiancée. There is nothing else like that. lA50: You write so poignantly about watching Sinatra and Dean and Sammy age. Have you yourself adopted any philosophy on aging?

where you get to give them something and they give you something in return.

I look at people who talk about retiring and I think: They don’t have to retire.

They’ve already retired by just thinking about it. I say if you stand still, if you don’t keep moving, they will throw dirt on you. lA50: one last thing. Any regrets?

PA: [laughs] I’ve had a few, but they really are too few to mention. I would really have to think about something I’ve truly regretted. Of course there have been some business decisions I’ve made and some things that have happened in my personal life that I wish I had done differently. That’s the case with everyone. But I’ve always looked at life as a journey on which we all make mistakes and you just have to do all you can to keep them at a minimum. So sure, I’ve made some mistakes and have some little regrets, but really, they are too few to mention.

PA: Well, time becomes our biggest asset as we get older, and so every day becomes more precious. Every day is a gift.

LA50: You’ve said that, for you, there will be no final curtain from performing – that as long as you have your health, you’ll never retire.

PA: Right. I’ve learned, that when you do what I do, you can’t leave it. Every time I’ve seen someone retire, they’re gone within a short time. Why would anyone want to retire from a business where, if you are still healthy enough and able to perform at a proper level, you get to entertain people who cheer you –

16 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Paul anka will be appearing in concert at the Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills, California on Sunday, november 22 at 8:00 p.m. For information on purchasing tickets, his latest album, “Paul anka Duets,” and his book, “My Way,” click on www.paulanka.com.

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August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 17

Special to Life After 50

by Meryl Hartstein

TOdAY IS YOUR dAY TO START SHINING… IT’S WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO dO! No matter what adversities life may throw in your path, every day offers you the chance to change your life and shine

W

hen I first began writing, I would write about the challenges and difficulties I faced throughout my life and I would go over and over all the descriptive details so that I would never forget what I survived and, more importantly, never allow myself to be a victim again.

My mother was an interesting character, an abusive one in both words and actions. As a child, writing was my escape from her, my safe place where I could be myself and express myself in ways I otherwise couldn’t.

My life went from a childhood of emotional adversity to one of many other adversities. From an abusive marriage to an alcoholic to surviving cervical cancer, from being a mother of a drug addict to a grandmother of a special-need’s child, these adversities served as life-changing lessons for me.

And, although my life’s path has been a rocky one, given a choice, I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. My belief is that our challenges are given to us for a reason. For me, I survived those challenges, and I know that I was meant to have them in order to help others. That is my passion and my purpose.

A JOURNEY TO SURVIVAL Even in my darkest moments, I always knew I would survive. My tools of resilience and positive thinking helped to see me out of the darkness. And, as a part of my emergence from the darkness, I knew I didn’t want to live with secrets anymore. The secrets I was harboring were destroying me, and I knew it. They 18 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

were bubbling up inside of me like a pressure cooker and if I didn’t do something, I knew I would explode.

And so, I started to share my secrets and thoughts in a journal. Through my writing, I began to realize that the things that happened to me weren’t my fault; that I was not a bad person who deserved a miserable life. I also realized my self-esteem was non-existent and that I had no concept of self-worth. I came to realize I needed to begin a journey of finding who I was and empowering myself, and that the first step on that journey would come by learning to love myself.

That was the beginning of a journey that led me to write my book, “You Were Born to Shine” (Balboa Press, 2015). It is the story of my journey – my survival – in which I was able to find my self-worth and help others find theirs.

When I started putting my story together for my book, what surprised me the most was how I began to find healing through my writing. I found forgiveness and extreme compassion. I was beginning to realize my self-worth and to embrace the woman I had become, in spite of the tribulations I had faced.

HOW QUICKLY THINGS CAN CHANGE I’ll never forget, as a young mother, coming home from a fun-filled and relaxing Memorial Day weekend at the beach with my family. I was thinking about having a third child. The timing

was perfect. My youngest daughter was turning three and my oldest daughter was seven. Then the phone rang and in a moment all my plans for the future were tossed out the window. The week before, I had gone to the doctor for a routine exam and when the phone rang I half-heard the doctor tell me I had cervical cancer.

My head was spinning as I also half-heard my little girls playing and laughing in the other room.

At that moment, I had only one thought: I am going to die.

How could my life go from being on the beach building sand castles with my children one minute to lying in a bed with drains coming out of my body in a cancer ward of a hospital the next?

As the days went by, instead of focusing on my cancer, I made the decision to focus on seeing my children grow up. I didn’t know if I was going to live and be all right. I only knew that I had to live and be all right. I had to continue to take care of my children. There was no other option for me.

The surgery I endured was a radical hysterectomy. That meant goodbye to the idea of having more children and hello to surgical menopause and an eight-inch vertical scar on my stomach. While I did all I could to remain positive, I was so overwhelmed with fear, I couldn’t cope.

The uncertainty of whether I was going to live or die, and the idea that I thought I had no control, was beyond horrible.

But, here is what I truly believe changed things for me: If I had laid in that hospital bed and continued to think of cancer as a death sentence,

I would not have been able to keep it together. I could have focused on the negative. But I constantly chose not to. I was always fighting against myself to be positive. During that time, my mind was telling me I was going to die, but my heart told me I had to survive. I made the choice to listen to my heart.

I thought about the people outside the hospital going on with their lives. They got to breathe the summer air. Mothers were telling their children bedtime stories. I wanted to be one of those people and I would not settle for anything less. I remained focused on positive thoughts and if I felt any doubt or sadness try to creep in, I would immediately replace it with a positive fantasy or thought or memory.

The odd thing was, after my surgery and treatment, when I received a clean bill of health, you’d think I’d be walking on sunshine, smelling the roses of life and running through fields rejoicing. In fact, the opposite occurred. I had put every bit of energy into my survival, and when I did survive, I felt like a war-torn veteran. I became severely depressed and suffered from post-traumatic stress syndrome. I went from only allowing myself to feel positive emotions to not being able to feel anything at all. I was expected to feel immense joy and gratitude, but I couldn’t. I became a living, breathing, cancer-free zombie. I was paralyzed with a fear that if cancer could happen to me so suddenly and without warning, what was next? I began suffering crippling panic attacks and ended up in an emergency room three times in one month because of them. I literally felt that I was dying all over again, only this time, my will to survive was gone.

This all took place 24 years ago, when there was no such a thing as the Internet. There weren’t any support groups or stories of inspiration. People didn’t talk about cancer. It was a taboo subject.

And so I wallowed in my darkness for months until I realized that I needed to talk to someone. After going to a therapist, I was able to start my journey back to emotional health. I had needed validation to know that what I was feeling, or wasn’t feeling, was normal.

Over the next several months, my mind and body started to heal and the shock was starting to wear off. It was hard for me to talk about my feelings, so I began writing in a journal. It was there, on those pages, that I reminded myself of the good things I had in my life – my children, material comforts, and most of all, my life. I slowly began to feel the gratitude of a survivor. Each day’s struggle got easier. I began to see that my life was a blessing.

I started researching how people went on to live full, rich lives after they had been through extreme adversities. I learned all of these people shared two things: an enormous amount of resiliency and gratitude.

Without finding gratitude in my life, I don’t think I would have been able to focus on my future.

I would have been stuck in a pity pot wasting my life away. That changed when I began to feel blessed to have caught my cancer early. I felt blessed that I was once again a whole person. Most of all, I felt blessed that I could share my story so that others would know there is life after being diagnosed with cancer.

My self-worth was finally intact and I loved the woman I had become. I viewed this new outlook as a gift that stemmed from the adversities I suffered.

COURAGE dISCOVEREd Along with fighting cancer, there have been many times in my life where I needed courage, and more importantly, the need to show courage to my children. For me, being a role model was important, because my own mother proved to be such a poor one. This was never so true as the difficulties I faced in my first marriage.

There is nothing pleasant about being married to an alcoholic. It wears down your self- esteem, your trust, your happiness and your spirit. You keep hoping things will change and be different.

I had endured the ugliness that comes from living with a drunk. I would wake up in the morning and find strange men sleeping on my couch. My husband would throw up on the floor during the night, urinate in the garbage or sink thinking it was the toilet, and he was physically and mentally abusive.

The last time I allowed myself to be a victim to his violence was when he had come home drunk and wanted money so he could go out and drink some more. I wouldn’t give him any and he knew I was hiding it. He pushed me up against the wall, put his hands on my throat and squeezed so tight that I thought I was going to pass out. I told him where the money was and he left. That night, I called his parents and told them what happened. I was sick of making excuses for him and hiding his sick secrets as my own. The next day, I packed up my baby and left to live at my parents’ house.

Not long after that he had gotten his third DUI and was ordered to go into a rehab. I would visit him with the baby. Back in those days, almost 30 years ago, rehabs were part of state mental hospitals. It was dirty, scary and not fit for a child.

I refused to ever bring her back there.

After leaving rehab, my husband tried sweettalking me into moving back with him, saying he was now sober. A part of me wanted to believe him, but I was skeptical. One morning, while living at his parents’ house, I went over early in the morning to surprise him. He wasn’t there. He hadn’t come home the night before. I went into his room and found a picture of him with a girl on his lap. I knew right then that my marriage was over.

My heart sank. All the plans I had for a future together as a family were gone in that instant. I was finally done.

PRACTICING BRAVERY Fear is something that can become crippling and hard to overcome. You have to practice bravery to overcome fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, and fear of change are all common. Fear of failure can result in giving up, staying stagnant rather than trying and failing. The key is to embrace failure as a learning tool, to understand it rather than fear it. So what if you fail? So what if you aren’t as good as the next person at something? It doesn’t make you any less of a person. If anything, it will make you better, stronger and wiser. That is why practicing bravery is needed.

You become brave when you take chances, even when you know you might not succeed and others might shun you. You have to be brave to suffer failure. After I left my husband, my baby and I lived in a one-bedroom apartment. She had the bed and I had a cot. I was constantly fighting off the roaches. It was tough, but my little girl and I were safe, happy and together. I learned you have to hold your head up high, be brave, and not let yourself be destroyed.

I also learned you must show your bravery to others. You help others become strong when they look to you as a role model. Your children, in particular, need to see you as brave so they will not grow up weak and fearful.

To be brave is to be strong, and to be strong is to be confident. It comes with a fair amount of discomfort at first, but have you noticed how strong you feel after being brave in a situation? You feel like you can conquer the world. This is the reward of daring to be brave.

SHINING AS NEVER BEFORE My adversities have become my life lessons – ones that I love to share. Today, I regularly speak to groups and share my story to help others who are suffering through difficult times. I am now living a life that is full and happy. My life has dramatically changed and I am shining as I never have before.

That is what we were born to do – for ourselves and for others.

START SHINING! Meryl Hartstein’s book, “You Were Born to Shine,” takes readers on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. She has survived more in her lifetime than most people ever have to face and yet, her positive and resilient attitude empowered her to be strong through the darkest of days. Hartstein chose to be a survivor and not a victim. Today, along with her life and relationship-coaching practice, she is a guest speaker and the founder of Bounce Back Women, a nonprofit foundation that works to empower women. For more information on Hartstein, her book and personal appearances, click on www.bouncebackwomen.com.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 19

Special to Life After 50

by Lisa Lapides Sawicki

Self-Coach Yourself To Become The Best You Can Be Your inner thoughts, the messages you send to yourself, are the key to a more productive and happy life

S

tatistics state that one in ten Americans suffers from depression and even more experience chronic anxiety. Our society often breeds emotional dependency, and far too many people are searching for a “quick fix” to solve their problems and issues as opposed to empowering themselves with increased emotional independence.

The independence needed to cope with life in today’s world comes when a person has the ability to calm themselves after something upsetting happens and then begin to figure out how to problem solve and deal with the situation; or work on accepting it if it is out of their control.

People who are not equipped to be emotionally independent are constantly seeking outside help when they feel upset or need to problem-solve. This is because they don’t know how to take responsibility and manage their own emotions, calm themselves down, and look for rational options and possibilities.

When one does begin to learn emotional independence and to take personal responsibility, they become their own self-coach, and the good news is that anyone can easily and quickly learn the skills and techniques to do this.

20 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY DIRECTOR OF YOUR LIFE As a life coach, I feel the responsibility to teach positive and specific daily self-coaching techniques and skills to each of my clients. As a part of my program, I teach those I work with to use the 16 waking hours of each day to positively, realistically and productively talk to themselves and direct their reactions and actions. Even if a person is already working with a life coach or therapist, most only do so for an hour per week.

While that is fine, just imagine the results that can be achieved if you were to become your own coach for the other 111 waking hours of each week!

Our 16 waking hours a day consist of managing emotions, thoughts, reactions and actions. No one escapes that fact. But when problems arise, far too many people don’t know how to cope with them, because they have never been taught how to selfcoach and self-talk to themselves.

Our society breeds us to feel fearful, shameful, not good enough, guilty, competitive, better

than or less than. We are bombarded with these messages thousands of times a day from the media, community, friends and family, co-workers, caregivers and those who may be jealous of us.

Throughout our lives we learn so many things other than how to employ our own self-management, and then we wonder why we are unhappy, feeling flat and joyless.

PRACTICING DAILY SELFAWARENESS AND COACHING The benefits of learning and practicing selfcoaching include: •

Calmness

•

Productiveness

•

Decisiveness

•

Schedule control

•

Confidence

•

Resiliency

•

Awareness of fair, healthy and safe boundaries

•

Awareness of desired and undesired actions and commitments

•

I choose to be a person of my word, meaning I do what I declare I am going to do.

•

Self-control and acceptance

•

•

The ability to reach realistic goals

I choose to be pleasant, compassionate, fair and clearly communicative with everyone.

•

Happiness and fulfillment

•

In each day I am given, I will create a pleasurable schedule for myself that allows me to feel grounded and fulfilled. This will require that I properly prioritize things and have patience to accomplish my needs and goals. I choose to conquer my tasks and assignments in a timely, relaxed matter and not leave them to the last minute, which can often create problems, messes and stress.

Here are some self-coaching skills you can start incorporating immediately: •

•

•

•

Take notice, without any judgment, what your inner thoughts and inner self-talk reveal about you. Are you mostly positive or negative? Are you a victim, insecure, judgmental, fearful, fair, realistic, jealous, conceited, needy or competitive?

As you start noticing what your inner world is telling you and how you are feeling, write down your self-observations. Take a real look at yourself and journal your thoughts, reactions, emotions and ongoing actions and attitudes.

This will help you get clarity on your innerthought tendencies.

Make a non-negotiable choice, from this day forward, to love, have compassion for, trust, accept and be supportive of yourself.

Remember, finding happiness and fulfillment begins with your positive self-talk and the messages you are giving yourself. Do not allow room for negative feelings. No matter what.

No excuses. You owe that to yourself. You must choose to love and accept yourself fully and be powerfully self-supportive. You must take responsibility for your peace of mind and the fulfillment of your life. Know that your happiness is no one else’s responsibility. It is yours and yours alone!

Come up with four positive self-talk goals every week. Write down the messages you need to say to yourself and implement them daily.

•

I choose to create a life worth living.

•

When I feel hurt, angry, sad, scared or disappointed, I will always allow myself some time for grief, and then to be healthily and emotionally resilient.

•

I choose to do something every day or week that is good for me.

•

I choose to acknowledge or reward myself every day for the positive and productive things I have accomplished.

•

I choose to feel grateful every day for all of my loved ones and my blessings.

•

I really like myself and enjoy my own company.

•

All people are equals, no one is better than anyone else. We all shine in our own way.

If you begin to practice all of these concepts, these self-coaching and self-talk skills, you will instantly manifest a more positive inner and outer peace.

You will take control of your emotions and actions.

You will become a more positive person, and your outcomes will prove to be greatly improved.

THE BOTTOm LINE: START YOUR SELF-COACHING REGImEN RIGHT NOW! To learn more about the Self-Coach Now program or to speak with Lisa Lapides Sawicki, call (619) 722-5056 or e-mail her at lisa@ selfcoachnow.com.

WHY SELF-TALK IS SO VITAL Through my coaching practice, I have come to realize that everyone, including myself, is actually self-coaching our lives during every one of our waking hours. That coaching can be positive or negative. Learning how to properly, skillfully and positively self-coach is essential to achieving a higher quality of life. The way we feel and conduct ourselves every day begins with our self-talk. Here are some examples of this:

Here are some self-talk starters: •

•

•

When my inner self-talk is negative in any way or someone/something is bothering me, I am going to challenge myself to discover a way to positively reframe it, let go of the negativity, let the situation be, or create a possible desired positive solution or outcome.

I choose to support myself and direct myself to accomplish positive actions – large and small – with pleasure and ease.

I choose not to take things personally, but to learn and grow from mistakes, hurts and disappointments. (This one is not easy, but if you start practicing, it will quickly change those wasteful, negative feelings that bring you down and prevent you from feeling self-acceptance and peace.)

•

I can say: “No thank you” gracefully and graciously when I need to (Believe me, this is a HUGE one).

•

I can be self-responsible and self-accountable.

Negative Self-Talk •

I hate my body.

•

I’m too old.

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No one likes me.

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Everything bad happens to me.

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People are only being nice to me because they want something, they just want to use me.

Positive Self-Talk •

I see the beauty in my body and am so grateful for all that it does for me.

•

I accept myself and others.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 21

Jane Hitchcock A model for retaining style, beauty and grace at any age

Story by Max Andrews * Photos courtesy of Natasha Ella Pisani, Faz Kashani and Chris Littlechild

S

ay the terms “fashion model” or “photo model” and immediately one’s mind conjures up the image of a chiseled-featured, gorgeously maned, barely twentysomething whose legs – which go on forever – carry a body that has never weighed in at more than the high doubledigits.

That was, in fact, a perfect description of Jane Hitchcock – over 40 years ago. And yet, today, now in her early 60s, Hitchcock still retains the attributes and style that sold bazillions of fashion magazines and cosmetic products from the late 1960s through the early 1980s.

Born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama, Hitchcock’s modeling career began when she was just 14. One of only two young American women to be offered a dance scholarship to train at the school of Balanchine for the world’s premier ballet company, The New York City Ballet, she and her mother moved to New York where, from her first day, photographers began stopping her on the street and asking to photograph her.

While dance was young Hitchcock’s focus, that soon changed when Wilhelmina, the famous Vogue model of the 1960s, who had just established her own modeling agency, signed her as her fifth model.

Embraced as Wilhelmina’s protégé, Hitchcock quickly learned that her dance training made her a natural as a model as she exuded poise, posture

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

and grace. Within months of her signing with Wilhelmina, Hitchcock began appearing on the covers of the world’s premier fashion magazines, including Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Elle and Glamour. Along with her modeling work, Hitchcock was tapped to appear in commercials and cosmetic ads for Estée Lauder, Clinique, Maybelline, Yardley, Almay, Avon, Noxzema, Cover Girl and Vichey, among others.

While most models see their careers come to an end before they are out of their 20s, Hitchcock continued to get work into her 30s and began a major resursurgance in her 40s, thanks to the legendary fashion photographer Steven Meisel.

Crusading to convince the fashion and advertising industry that women over 40 would relate to older models and had a spending power that would only continue to grow, Meisel approached Vogue and inspired a new recognition of beauty by photographing famous models of the past who were then in their 40s and 50s. Among his subjects were Lauren Hutton, Lisa Taylor, Susan Forestall, Patty Hanson, Rosie Vella and Hitchcock, who graced the cover of Vogue, ads for Calvin Klein, and campaigns for Esprit and Ferretti Jeans.

Long after most models had been retired for over two decades, Hitchcock became an important face for cosmetic companies, which began to create advertisements featuring “ageless beauties.” Calvin Klein even used Hitchcock and other older models

in a runway show. “There is a changing perception,” Klein told CNN at the time. “These women are beautiful [and] I’m using Jane Hitchcock because she is perfect for what I’m trying to say: [that] women get better as they age.”

Asked to weigh in on what women can do to help them age better, Hitchcock offered Life After 50 readers the following advice:

ON WOMEN WHOSE GRANDDAUGHTERS WANT TO BE MODELS Encourage them to take ballet classes.

This will teach them understanding about alignment of their bodies for posing and awareness of their body’s posture

and how to be graceful in movement. I always felt I stood out because of the way I walked and moved. That came naturally to me, because of my ballet training. I would also say that to become a successful model, you need to have an outgoing personality and always be professional. Make sure you arrive on time, always bring what they ask, do what your agency advises you, and love every bit of the adventure.

ON THE PROPER USE OF MAKEUP FOR MATURE WOMEN

ON THE BEST TRICK FOR GETTING A FRESH LOOK I think the eyebrows are the most important feature on the face and are all too often overlooked.

Their shape and color can affect your entire appearance, because they help balance your features. A properly formed and colored eyebrow brings attention to your face and gives you a lifted look. They are frames for the eyes and can make them look bigger. Eyebrows give personality and expression to the face and they are the one thing we can modify without surgery to get a perky look.

Color is also very important when it comes to eyebrows. I think a medium brown is as light as anyone over 50 should ever go. That will give the brows some intensity and will take away a washedout look. I recommend dyeing them gradually, so you get used to the color. I also think it’s very good to dye your eyelashes. You should then curl them.

I believe every woman should do that, because it makes you look bright-eyed and brings out the shape of your eyes. An added bonus is, you don’t have to put on mascara.

ON HAIR STYLES AND COLOR I know it’s a current trend to go gray or white and brava to women who are making that statement, but, to me, women have been enhancing their appearance with hair color for centuries for a reason – because gray hair is aging. But I think color and style – whether long or short – is a personal choice. I think consulting with a stylist and a colorist is very helpful, but each woman should go with what she thinks works for her and she is comfortable with.

ON PLASTIC SURGEY AND FILLERS I have never had any cosmetic surgery and don’t use fillers, plumpers or Botox. I’m concerned that things can go wrong with surgery and we really don’t know what the long-term health effects of injecting chemicals may be. So I have chosen another route – facial exercising. I have tried various facial exercises and found that they work well for me. I think facial exercising is extremely important. Our face is made up of muscles and they have to be used to keep toned. I do the “lion roar” every day. That consists of opening your eyes and mouth as wide as you can, to stimulate many of the facial muscles.

ON THE BIGGEST FASHION MISTAKE WOMEN OVER 50 MAKE You don’t have to be beautiful to be stylish and fashionable, but you do have to be confident and comfortable with yourself, and you should also be aware of what you should be doing to present yourself in an elegant and graceful way. You do need a sense of the aesthetic in understanding how you look and how you should put yourself together.

As for the biggest mistake, I would say wearing ¾-length pants that end at mid-calf is a huge mistake for most women. Unless you are really tall and thin, they cut the line of the leg and make you look shorter and wider in the hips. It is a very bad look for most women.

ON DIET AND EXERCISE I don’t really adhere to any specific diet and, while I try to eat healthy, I also allow myself to splurge occasionally. For the most part, I eat the way we all know to be right: moderate portions and moderation in rich foods. I try to eat very little fried food, sweets, pasta, rice or bread, but I don’t

completely deprive myself. As for exercise, it is always a struggle for me, so what I try to do is use my everyday life as my exercise regimen. I always walk up stairs as much as I can and I try to stretch every day. I think stretching is very important as we get older. Achieving alignment and trying to keep flexible is what I strive for. I do leg kicks and stretches as I’m standing in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to be made. I also walk a lot and do use some small weights, but I really try to make exercising a part of my everyday life. Just the act of lifting groceries can be a form of exercise.

Photob By Hayley Sparks

The innovations in makeup for older people have been very good. Today, you can achieve a natural appearance instead of that powdered look. As you get older, you want to look fresh and natural with some color. To achieve that, you may only need a bit of blush and something on the lips. I like a lipstain gloss. It adds color that lasts even when it wears off, and lips, as we get older, definitely need a little color and freshness. Overall, when it comes to makeup, remember: less is more.

ON AGING GRACEFULLY I truly believe it’s an attitude thing. There’s a quote I love: “We don’t grow old, we become old by not growing.” I believe we have to always stay creative.

Having a creative outlet is important and, like exercising, I think we can and should just make being creative a part of our everyday life. Anything can be creative: conducting business, preparing food, working at a relationship. I think you have to always stay curious, seek new challenges and bring in creativity to whatever you do that keeps you connected to life. A walk down the street, if you are really present, can be a creative endeavor.

You can find creativity and joy in so many simple things and moments. There is so much pleasure to be found in everyday things like a simple walk. I think having a reason to get up is also important.

I love that I am still working and that there are opportunities for older models. I recently did a shoot for Italian Vogue with other women who were in their 70s and 80s. Nowadays there are models having careers even into their 90s, so that means I have 30 or 40 more years of fun to look forward to. I just appreciate every day, because I don’t know what tomorrow may bring. I see every day as a gift to be grateful for.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 23

The Hallowed Hall of Must-Knowtables

By David Laurell Illustration by Mark Hammermeister

Coco Chanel

Dramatically changing the way women dressed in the early 20th century, fashion designer Coco Chanel made an indelible mark on the fashion world by introducing what would become timeless classics. From her legendary tweed suit and little black dress – which Vogue rightfully predicted would become “a uniform for all women of taste” – to elegant costume jewelry, an iconic quilted handbag and the most famous fragrance ever bottled, Chanel ruled over her house of couture with relentless ambition that, despite numerous controversies, saw her rise to the top of the fashion industry and high society.

C

oco Chanel was born Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel on August 19, 1883 in Saumur, France to a poor, unmarried laundrywoman and a mostly absent street vendor who peddled clothing. Although the official registry of her birth lists her family’s name as “Chasnel,” it was simply a clerical misspelling that was never corrected.

At the age of 11, after her mother died of bronchitis, Gabrielle was sent to the Convent of Aubazine in Central France, where she lived a strict and disciplined life of stark frugality. Following her 18th birthday, too old to continue on as a ward of the convent, she was moved to a boarding house for young Catholic girls in Moulins, France.

Having learned to sew during her years at the convent, Gabrielle worked as a seamstress by day and used her nights to pursue her dream of becoming an entertainer by performing at a local cabaret. It was there that she purportedly acquired the name “Coco” because of her regular performance of two popular songs: “Ko Ko Ri Ko” and “Qui qu’a vu Coco.”

Ultimately coming to terms with the fact that her vocal talent was marginal, Chanel pursued work in the fashion industry. It was during this time that she also

began engaging in affairs and relationships with wealthy, powerful and married men who provided her with a life of indulgent riches and funded her business pursuits.

In 1910, the then-27-year-old Chanel began designing hats, became a licensed milliner and opened a boutique in Deauville, France where she offered elegant casual clothing. Two years later, she branched out by opening an establishment in Biarritz, France, and by 1919, registered as a couturiere and established a company that operated out of one of the most fashionable clothing districts in Paris.

Overseeing a multi-faceted house of couture that produced clothing, hats, accessories, jewelry and a fragrance she created – Chanel No.5, so named because a fortune teller had told Chanel that “five” was her lucky number – 1922 saw her introduced to a businessman named Pierre Wertheimer, who sniffed success in the scent of Chanel’s signature fragrance. Two years later, Chanel entered into an agreement with Wertheimer and his brother and business partner, Paul, who offered to fully finance the production, marketing and distribution of Chanel No. 5. Agreeing to a deal she would later regret, Chanel licensed her name to Parfums Chanel and removed herself from all business operations in return for a mere 10 percent of the company’s stock.

This feature is intended for you to clip and give to your children or grandchildren because…they must-know!

24 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

In 1931, a meeting with film producer Samuel Goldwyn lured Chanel to Hollywood to design costumes for MGM film productions. It proved to be a match made in hell as Chanel quickly developed a profound dislike for the American film industry and its lack of culture. Calling Hollywood “The capital of bad taste,” “infantile” and “vulgar,” she returned to running her lucrative fashion empire that, by 1935, was employing close to 4,000 people.

By the latter part of the 1930s, the chain-smoking Chanel began a reliance on cocaine and daily self-injections of morphine that would continue to her final days. She also made the decision to close her couture house and boutiques when World War II broke out, stating it was not a time for fashion.

This decision exposed a dark side of Chanel, who seemingly gave no thought to the thousands of employees that, by virtue of her decision, found themselves without work. Many of those workers scoffed at Chanel wrapping herself in wartime austerity and saw the closing of her business as a retaliation against garment workers who, in an attempt to receive fair wages and work hours, had staged a general labor strike in France two years earlier.

During this time, the enigmatic, fiercely private and always well-guarded Chanel also exposed an even darker side of her nature, which hovered beneath her glossy chic veneer, by reportedly collaborating with the Nazis, using her powerful British political and royal connections (including that of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill) to escape prosecution for that reported association, espousing antiSemitic views, and displaying unbridled personal opportunism.

The latter of those charges was made evident when, during World War II, the Nazis had seized all Jewish-owned property and business enterprises. This gave Chanel the opportunity to retaliate against the Jewish Wertheimers and Parfums Chanel. She used her position as an Aryan to petition German officials to support and legalize her claim of sole ownership of the company. This ploy failed because the Wertheimers had since moved their operation to the United States, but it did ultimately result in Chanel and the brothers renegotiating their 1924 contract, to protect the brand, which provided her with huge financial benefits. Her earnings from Parfums Chanel alone were reportedly over $25 million annually, making her one of the richest women in the world. As a part of the agreement, Pierre Wertheimer also agreed to pay all of Chanel’s living expenses for the rest of her life.

After living in Switzerland for close to a decade, the then-70-year-old Chanel returned to Paris in 1954. Financed by Wertheimer, she reestablished her couture house and debuted bell-bottom pants. Shunned by Parisians who had turned against her for her reported wartime association with the Nazis, Chanel found a new client base in the metropolitan cities of Britain and America.

By 1987, Chanel had become tyrannical and lonely. Her health was in decline, and yet she continued to rule over her empire until January 10, 1971 when she died in her sleep at the age of 87. Her funeral was held at the Église de la Madeleine in Paris and she was buried in the Bois-de-Vaux Cemetery in Lausanne, Switzerland.

Today, Chanel’s house of couture, under the rein of designer Karl Lagerfeld, remains a major force in the fashion industry. And, in spite of her many controversies, Chanel, the only fashion designer listed on Time magazine’s list of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century, is revered as one of fashion’s greatest icons.

Chanel’s insight and advice on everything from embracing the moment to living life on one’s own terms. * “Coco Chanel: The Legend and the Life” (Harper Collins, 2010) a biography

by Justine Picardie that uncovers both the truth and myths surrounding Chanel.

LEARN MORE Coco Chanel has been the subject of numerous books and films among them: * “Chanel Solitaire,” a 1981 film that starred Marie-France Pisier. * “Coco Chanel,” a 2008 Lifetime Television film starring Shirley MacLaine, which glossed over her affairs and controversies. * “Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky” (Riverhead Trade, 2003) a book written by Chris Greenhalgh that inspired a 2009 film of the same name. * “Different Like Coco,” (Candlewick, 2009) a children’s book that depicts the humble childhood of Chanel and chronicles how she made monumental changes to the fashion industry. * “The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World’s Most Elegant Woman” (Skirt!, 2009) a book by Karen Karbo that provides Mark Hammermeister is an award-winning artist. His work is available for purchase at www.markdraws.com August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 25

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Unique Glasses Helped Karen And Her Twin Sister Sharon An eye specialist diagnosed Karen and Sharon with juvenile macular degeneration and said “There’s not much to be done.”

Years later they read an article that was written about an International Academy of Low Vision Specialists (IALVS)

doctor who designed special glasses that helped people with macular degeneration.

“More curious than skeptical, we went. And it changed everything! For the first time in thirty years we could read!”

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Call Toll Free: 888-610-2020 | www.LowVisionCare.com 26 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

.com

Let’S Get OUt A Preview of Upcoming Events for August/September By Claire Yezbak Fadden

San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire

August/September 2015

eNteRtAINMeNt SATURDAY, AUGUST 15 DEL MAR RACING Del Mar first opened its gates in 1937 and this summer the legendary racetrack will once again welcome the nation’s fastest horses and Southern California’s most spirited party-goers. Besides world-class Thoroughbred racing, Del Mar is known for its incredible lineup of entertainment, hosting big name musical acts on the Seaside Stage for its Summer Concert Series. Del Mar Thoroughbred Club, 2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd, Del Mar. Racing Wed.-Sun. through Sept.

7. (858) 755-1141. delmarscene.com.

SAWDUST ART FESTIVAL Experience the creative wonders of nearly 200 Laguna Beach artists in an enchanting outdoor canyon paradise adorned with waterfalls, eucalyptus trees and the best hand crafted art in California. Sawdust Art Festival, 935 Laguna Canyon Road, Laguna Beach.

Through Aug. 30. $8-plus. (949) 494-3030. sawdustartfestival.org.

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA This production boasts many exciting special effects including the show’s legendary chandelier. The beloved story and thrilling score – with songs such as “Music of the Night,” “All I Ask of You,” and “Masquerade” – will be performed by a cast and orchestra of 52, making this show one of the largest productions now on tour. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Also Aug. 16. $39-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16

FESTIVAL OF ARTS FINE ART SHOW Explore this juried fine art show featuring 140 of Southern Orange County’s top artists in an open-air gallery setting. The Festival of Arts and Pageant of the Masters, Irvine Bowl, 650 Laguna Canyon Road, Laguna Beach. Through Aug. 31. $7-$10. (800) 487-3378. (949) 4976852. foapom.com.

BURT BACHARACH San Diego Symphony Summer Pops Concert.

Embarcadero Marina Park, behind Convention Center, San Diego. Prices vary. (619) 2350804. sandiegosymphony.com.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15

SHREK

“Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek...” And thus begins the tale of an unlikely hero who finds himself on a lifechanging journey alongside a wisecracking Donkey and a feisty princess who resists her rescue. Throw in a short tempered bad guy, a cookie with an attitude, and over a dozen other fairy tale misfits, and you’ve got the kind of mess that calls for a real hero. Luckily, there’s one on hand...and his name is Shrek. Moonlight Amphitheatre, Brengle Terrace Park, 1200 Vale Terrace, Vista. Through Aug. 29. $24-$52. (760) 724-2110. moonlightstage.com.

UP HERE When introverted thirtysomething computer repairman Dan finds a potential spark with outgoing t-shirt designer Lindsay, his attempts at a relationship are thwarted by the Technicolor world in his head. La Jolla Playhouse, UCSD Campus, Sheila and Hughes Potiker Theatre, Mandell Weiss Theatre, 2910 La Jolla Village Dr., La Jolla. Through Aug. 30. Prices vary. (858) 550-1010. lajollaplayhouse.org.

personal, more elusive than what it is to be happy? Go on a sentimental journey through depictions of pastimes and activities that gave people joy long before the instant gratification of the computer age. The Festival of Arts and Pageant of the Masters, Irvine Bowl, 650 Laguna Canyon Road, Laguna Beach. Through Aug. 31. $25-plus. (800) 487-3378. (949) 497-6852. foapom.com.

CHORAL FESTIVAL Singers from community, school, university, church and temple choirs join the voices of Pacific Chorale in a public performance. This year’s concert features American favorites, “America the Beautiful” and Variations on an Old American Tune “Land of Rest.” Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Free. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. pacificchorale.org.

BASKERVILLE: A SHERLOCK HOLMES MYSTERY A wildly inventive adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic mystery by one of America’s great comic playwrights. Ken Ludwig brings to life literature’s most famous detective—the inimitable Sherlock Holmes.

Five fearless actors conjure the world of Victorian England as Holmes and Watson take on one of the most diabolical cases of their careers. This witty and clever romp delivers chills, laughter and a great evening of theatre.

The Old Globe Theatre, Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre, Conrad Prebys Theatre Center, 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park, San Diego. $29-plus. Through Aug. 23. (619) 234-5623. theoldglobe.org.

MONDAY, AUGUST 17 PAGEANT OF THE MASTERS: THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS Enjoy tableaux vivants (living pictures), incredibly faithful re-creations of classical and contemporary works of art using real people posed to look exactly like their counterparts in the original pieces. Is there anything more

TUESDAY, AUGUST 18

TWILIGHT IN THE PARK Coronado Big Band. Concert series features music ranging from military bands and

Dixieland jazz to big band swing and Latin salsa. Balboa Park, Spreckels Organ Pavilion, San Diego. Tues.-Thurs. through Aug. 27.

Free. (619) 239-0512. balboapark.org./visit/ summer-events.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19 THE NERD Larry Shue’s comic masterpiece about an architect stuck in a rut whose life is suddenly upended by an old army buddy. Lamb’s Players Theatre, 1142 Orange Ave., Coronado. $52-plus. Through Sept. 20. (619) 437-6000. lambsplayers.org.

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS A young man and his servant arrive in town, unaware that each of them has a separatedat-birth identical twin already there. This can’t end well—or maybe it can, but not before the unexpected double vision leads to furious wives, confused mistresses, scandalized family members, and general mayhem. The Old Globe, Lowell

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 27

CALeNDAR Davies Festival Theatre (outdoors), 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park, San Diego. $29plus. Through Sept. 20. (619) 234-5623. theoldglobe.org.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21 FLOWER POWER ‘60s-’70s DINNER San Dimas Community Center, 245 E. Bonita Ave., San Dimas. $15. (909) 394-6290.

HOT SUMMER NIGHTS IN DIXIE Guest artist Mike Olson. Temecula Community Center, 28816 Pujol St., Temecula. $15. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 22 PAUL – THE ROAD TO DAMASCUS From his dramatic conversion on the Road to Damascus to his trials and travels spreading the Gospel of Christ, the exciting life of Paul is recounted in this Biblical biography. LifeHouse Theater, 1135 N. Church St., Redlands. Thurs.Sun. through Sept.27. $14-$18. (909) 3353037 ext. 21. lifehousetheater.com.

CHAMPAGNE JAZZ Macy Gray and Larry Graham. Thornton Winery, 32575 Rancho California Rd., Temecula. $85. (951) 699-0099. thorntonwine. com/champagne-jazz-series.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 23 NATALIE COLE San Diego Symphony Summer Pops Concert.

Embarcadero Marina Park, behind Convention Center, San Diego. Prices vary. (619) 2350804. sandiegosymphony.com.

August/September 2015 San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26 JAZZ WEDNESDAYS Patrick Bradley Group Laguna Beach Live, The Ranch at Laguna Beach, 31106 S. Coast Hwy, Laguna Beach. $22. (949) 715-9713. lagunabeachlive.org.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 27 TWILIGHT IN THE PARK The Legends. Concert series features music ranging from military bands and Dixieland jazz to big band swing and Latin salsa. Balboa Park, Spreckels Organ Pavilion, San Diego.

Tues.-Thurs. through Aug. 27. Free. (619) 2390512. balboapark.org./visit/summer-events.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 28 HELLO DOLLY Dolly Levi, the well-known matchmaker, attempts to find herself a husband in the wealthy Horace Vandergelder. Welk Resorts Theatre, 8860 Lawrence Welk Dr., Escondido.

Dates vary through Nov. 15. $48-$75. (888) 802-7469. welktheatre.com.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 29 CHAMPAGNE JAZZ Kenny G and Ariana Savalas. Thornton Winery, 32575 Rancho California Rd., Temecula. $95. (951) 699-0099. thorntonwine.com/ champagne-jazz-series.

SEPTEMBER THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3

MONDAY, AUGUST 24 DIANA KRALL: WALLFLOWER WORLD TOUR Humphrey’s Concerts by the Bay, 2241 Shelter Island Dr., San Diego. $110. (800) 745-3000. humphreysconcerts.com.

PINK MARTINI Humphrey’s Concerts by the Bay, 2241 Shelter Island Dr., San Diego. $60. (800) 745-3000. humphreysconcerts.com.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 TCHAIKOVSKY SPECTACULAR San Diego Symphony Summer Pops Concert.

Embarcadero Marina Park, behind Convention Center, San Diego. Also Sept. 5-6. Prices vary.

(619) 235-0804. sandiegosymphony.com.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 CHAMPAGNE JAZZ Boney James. Thornton Winery, 32575 Rancho California Rd., Temecula. $85.

(951) 699-0099. thorntonwine.com/ champagne-jazz-series.

28 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

TUESDAY, AUGUST 25

PIPPIN

Full of extraordinary acrobatics, wondrous magical feats and soaring songs from Steven Schwartz, the composer of “Wicked,” this musical lifts your spirits and leaves you smiling. This new production tells the story of a young prince on a death-defying journey to find meaning in his existence. Will he choose a happy but simple life?

Or will he risk everything for a singular flash of glory. San Diego Civic Theatre, Third and B St., 1100 Third Ave., downtown San Diego. Through Aug. 30. Prices vary.

(619) 570-1100. broadwaysd.com.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11

BLUEPRINTS TO FREEDOM: AN ODE TO BAYARD RUSTIN In the sweltering political and racial heat of 1963, Bayard Rustin, a brilliant architect of the Civil Rights Movement and an openly gay man, is enlisted to orchestrate an unprecedented March on Washington by colleagues that recently exiled him. La Jolla Playhouse, UCSD Campus, Sheila and Hughes Potiker Theatre, Mandell Weiss Theatre, 2910 La Jolla Village Dr., La Jolla. Through Oct. 4. Prices vary. (858) 550-1010. lajollaplayhouse.org.

ONE MAN, TWO GUVNORS This delicious farce is set in swinging ’60s Brighton. Francis, a failed washboard player with an insatiable appetite, finds himself in the employ of both Roscoe, who is really his own twin sister (in disguise), and Stanley, a well-bred twit (who actually killed the real Roscoe). And that’s only the beginning. South Coast Repertory, Segerstrom Stage, 655 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa.

Dates vary through Oct. 11. $22-plus.

(714) 708-5555. scr.org.

WEDENSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12

BIG FISH Edward Bloom lives life to the fullest - and then some - as he spins incredible, largerthan-life stories that thrills all who are around him. Yet his son, about to have a child of his own, is determined to find the truth behind his father’s epic tales. Moonlight Amphitheatre, Brengle Terrace Park, 1200 Vale Terrace, Vista.

Through Sept. 26. $24-$52. (760) 724-2110. moonlightstage.com.

BRIAN REGAN One of the most prolific comedians in the business, Regan always brings new material to each of the more than 100 cities he visits each year. Get set for a hilarious night, as Regan shares insights and observations as only a “comedian’s comedian” can.

Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. $49plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org.

JAZZ WEDNESDAYS Katie Thiroux Quartet. Laguna Beach Live, The Ranch at Laguna Beach, 31106 S. Coast Hwy, Laguna Beach. $22. (949) 715-9713. lagunabeachlive.org.

GRAPE DAY FESTIVAL AND PARADE Grape Day started in 1908 as a way to celebrate Escondido’s grape harvest and promote the city. The event flourished until 1950 and was revived in 1996. It features grape stomping, free grapes tasting, stage, demonstrations, contests, fun zone, vendor booths and international food court.

Grape Day Park, 321 N. Broadway, downtown Escondido. Free. (760) 743-8207. escondidohistory.org.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10 SAFARI SALOON Happy Hour Mocktail Social. San Dimas Community Center, 245 E. Bonita Ave., San Dimas. (909) 394-6290.

CALeNDAR

August/September 2015 San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire CELEBRITY READINGS: In conjunction with its “Ingenious! The World of Dr. Seuss” exhibition in Balboa Park, local celebrities read from their favorite Dr. Seuss books. San Diego History Center, Casa De Balboa, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. $6-$8. (619) 232- 6203. sandiegohistory.org/seusscelebrityreadings.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13 CHAMPAGNE JAZZ Chris Botti. Thornton Winery, 32575 Rancho California Rd., Temecula. $95.

(951) 699-0099. thorntonwine.com/ champagne-jazz-series.

COMPOSTING WORKSHOP Learn how to use your yard clippings as a resource, naturally achieve a beautiful, health yard and garden and reduce your use of synthetic pesticides and fertilizers. Living Coast Discovery Center, 100, Gunpowder Point Dr., Chula Vista. Shuttle to entrance from parking lot. $9-$14. Sundays. (619) 409-5900. thelivingcoast.org.

eXHIBItIONS SATURDAY, AUGUST 15

Diego. 15-$27. Through Jan 3. (619) 2323821. sdnhm.org.

THE 1968 EXHIBIT From the darkest hours to the incredible highs, the year 1968 comes alive in this extraordinary exhibit Organized chronologically by the months of the year, the 5,000-squarefoot exhibit transports visitors back to 1968 beginning in January with a Huey helicopter that has “landed” in a living room. The sights and sounds of this media-saturated age fill the exhibit and stories from the people who were there are shared throughout. Bowers Museum, Mary Muth Wing 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana. Through Sept. 13. $12. (714) 567-3679. bowers.org.

SUNLIGHT AND SHADOW: THE TRADITION OF PLEIN AIR PAINTING This exhibition features a selection of the museum’s celebrated historic landscape paintings (one dating as old at 1890) alongside contemporary plein air works (some as recent as 2015). Featured historic California Impressionist artists include Anna Hills, John Gamble, Guy Rose, Louis Betts, Hansen Puthuff and Benjamin Brown.

Contemporary artists include Peter Adams, Saim Caglayan, John Cosby, Dennis Doheny, Jeff Horn, Gregory Hull, Mark Kerchhoff, Kevin

our most visceral emotions and pose many thought-provoking questions and answers that speak to the human condition. Museum of Photographic Arts, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. Through Sept. 13. $7-$8. (619) 238-7559. mopa.org.

ADAMS, CURTIS AND WESTON Photographers of the American West. This exhibition documents the changing landscape of the West and the art of photography through time as well as through the lenses of three of the most celebrated 20th century American photographers: Ansel Adams, Edward S. Curtis and Edward Weston. The photos range in date from 1905 to 1967 and depict a variety of subjects, including landscapes and portraits.

Bowers Museum, Mary Muth Wing 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana. Through Nov. 29. $12.

(714) 567-3679. bowers.org.

THE PRIVATE WORLD OF VERMEER Luminous and exquisitely rendered, “Woman in Blue Reading a Letter” (about 16631664) is one of Vermeer’s most captivating portrayals of a young woman’s private world.

This special installation highlights one of the most celebrated painters of the Dutch Golden Age. Praised as one of Vermeer’s most beautiful paintings, “Woman in Blue Reading a Letter” demonstrates the artist’s exceptional command of color, light and perspective.

Timken Museum of Art, Balboa Park, Plaza de Panama, San Diego. Tues.-Sun. through Sept.

11. Free. (619) 239-5548. timkenmuseum.org.

MARCIA HAFIF: FROM THE INVENTORY Well-versed in a variety of media over her

WRITING WITH PICTURES This upcoming exhibit colorfully tells the story behind the creation of the picture book, why we love them and their widening audience and role in the 21st century. This exhibition, the first of its kind in San Diego, features original published artwork from local illustrators and from artists working with local writers.

Museum at the California Center for the Arts, Escondido, 340 N. Escondido Blvd., Escondido.

Thurs.-Sun. through Sept. 13. $5-$8. (800) 988-4253. artcenter.org/museum.

MAYA: HIDDEN WORLDS REVEALED The ruined cities of the ancient Maya have captured imaginations since news of their discovery in the jungles of Central America was published in the 1840s. This exhibition tells the story through the eyes of Maya rulers and their loyal subjects. On display are more than 200 authentic artifacts, including spectacular examples of Maya artistry made by masters of their craft, along with objects from everyday life. San Diego Natural History Museum, 1788 El Prado, Balboa Park, San

50-year-career including photography, film, performance, writing and installations, this exhibition showcases Hafif’s austere monochrome works created since 1999. Although she also maintains a studio in New York, most of the works in this exhibition were created at her studio in Laguna Beach. Now in her mid80s, Hafif continues to produce work. Laguna Art Museum, 307 Cliff Dr., Laguna Beach.

Through Sept. 27. Closed Wednesdays. $5-$7.

(949) 494-8971. lagunaartmuseum.org.

INGENIOUS! THE WORLD OF DR. SEUSS The highly popular traveling Dr. Seuss exhibition includes signature elements for the Balboa Park Centennial, emphasizing San Diego as the renowned author’s home and Theodor Geisel as the world’s most celebrated children’s author and an innovator. The lively and whimsical exhibition features rare early works, ephemera, illustration and editorial cartoons, as well as two newly released Geisel illustrations. The Seuss-land gallery features giant bronze Seuss character sculptures, anchoring interactive family activities that emphasize the important themes and innovative nature of Seuss books. San Diego History Center, Casa De Balboa, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. Through Dec. 31. $6-$8. (619) 232- 6203. sandiegohistory.org.

Get the Word Out. E-mail your announcements to Claire Fadden, cfadden@lifeafter50.com. Include a brief description, location, date, time, cost, phone and website. Submission does not guarantee publication. Deadline for the September/October calendar is August 1.

MacPherson, Mian Situ and Jeff Yeomans.

The Irvine Museum, 18881 Von Karman Ave., Irvine. Tues-Sat. through Sept. 24. Free. (949) 476-2565. irvinemuseum.org.

TIP OF THE HAT 50 Years of the Cowboy Artists Association. A rare show for cowboy art lovers, showcasing rare works by Tom Ryan, Martin Grelle, John Coleman, Jim Norton, Frank McCarthy, Joe Beeler and Bill Owen. Bonita Museum and Cultural Center, 4355 Bonita Rd., Bonita.

Wed.-Sat. through Sept. 12. (619) 267-5141. bonitahistoricalsociety.org.

SEVEN BILLION OTHERS This ground breaking, multimedia exhibition, brings voices and compelling video portraits from more than 6,000 individual interviews filmed in 84 countries by nearly 20 directors.

The 30-week presentation will allow visitors to identify what separates and unites us by giving direct access to individuals as diverse as a Brazilian fisherman, a Chinese shopkeeper, a German performer and an Afghan farmer. These interviews touch on

MY GENERATION: YOUNG CHINESE ARTISTS

This exhibition is an extended look at the new generation of artists emerging in mainland China since 2000, the year that China opened wide its doors to international artists and that Chinese artists began to command attention in the global arena. All artists represented in this exhibit were born after 1976—the end of the Cultural Revolution. Almost all of them are products of the One Child Policy and have grown up in a country with a high-powered market economy. Orange County Museum of Art, 850 San Clemente Dr., Newport Beach. Wed.-Sun. through Oct. 11. $10. (949) 7591-1122. ocma.net.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 29

Significant Mother – New Series, CW – Premieres Monday August 3 at 9:30 p.m.

Budding Portland restaurateur, Nate, has had his world turned upside down when he comes back from a business trip to find that his best friend and roommate, Jimmy, is now dating his recently separated mother, Lydia. To make matters worse, Nate’s previously disinterested dad, Harrison, is now determined to win Lydia back and isn’t afraid to use Nate to get what he wants. Stuck between his family feud and his best friend’s first serious relationship, Nate’s “new normal” forever changes his relationships with his parents and severely handicaps his own dating life.

Show Me A Hero – New Miniseries, HBO – Premieres Sunday August 16 at 9 p.m.

This six-part miniseries has quite a pedigree - created by David Simon and directed by Paul Haggis, it boasts an all-star cast of Oscar Isaac, Catherine Keener, Alfred Molina, Winona Ryder, LaTanya RichardsonJackson, Bob Balaban, and Jim Belushi. Set in Yonkers in the 1980s, the show focuses on a young mayor (Issac) struggling with racial strife in his city after he’s ordered to build public housing projects in largely white neighborhoods around town. The series is based on Lisa Belkin’s 1999 non-fiction book of the same name.

Blunt Talk – New Series, Starz – Premieres Saturday August 22 at 9 p.m.

This new half-hour comedy is from the prolific Seth MacFarlane and stars the iconic Patrick Stewart. It is a character-driven comedy revolving around Walter Blunt (Stewart), a British import intent on conquering the world of American cable news. Through the platform of his nightly interview show, Blunt is on a mission to impart his wisdom and guidance on how Americans should live, think and behave.

Besieged by network bosses, a dysfunctional news staff, numerous ex-wives and children of all ages, Blunt’s only support is the alcoholic manservant he transplanted from the U.K. to join him in Los Angeles. The series follows the fallout from Blunt’s well-intentioned, but mostly misguided, decision-making both on and off the air.

Public Morals – New Series, TNT – Premieres Tuesday August 25 at 10 p.m.

Edward Burns writes, directs, executive produces and stars alongside Michael Rappaport and Elizabeth Masucci in this powerful police drama that will take viewers to the seedy, gritty streets and bright, seductive lights of 1960s New York. The series centers on Terry Muldoon (Burns), an officer of the Public Morals Division, which investigates vice crimes in the city. Many of Muldoon’s fellow cops in the division walk a thin line between morality and crime as vice-related temptations threaten to snare even the best of officers, including Muldoon’s partner, Charlie Bullman (Rapoport). As Muldoon watches the Hell’s Kitchen streets where he grew up devoured by an escalating war within two factions of the Irish-American mob, he becomes more determined than ever to fight back against the city’s dark underbelly so he can provide a safe place where he and his wife, Christine (Masucci), can raise their family.

Steven Spielberg is also on board as an executive producer.

Great Performances: Vienna Philharmonic Summer Night Concert – New Special, PBS – Airs Friday August 28 at 9 p.m.

Travel to Austria’s Schönbrunn Palace for the annual concert.

The Vienna Philharmonic performs an open-air concert from the gardens of Austria’s Imperial Schönbrunn Palace. Zubin Mehta conducts, with pianist Rudolf Buchbinder as soloist, in works by Grieg and Sibelius.

30 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

The Best In AugusT Television Viewing

By Sandi Berg

Tuned In To What’s On

Rick Steves’ Travels The Art of Tasty Tourism

O

ne of the great joys of European travel is eating. If you let yourself tune in to the experience, a meal is a travel thrill in itself – as inspiring as visiting an art gallery and as stimulating as a good massage.

I have only a few basic rules for eating my way through Europe: Find places outside the tourist zones, go for local specialties, eat seasonally, and most of all, eat fearlessly, trying things you’ve never had in places you’ve never been.

Begin by looking for welcoming spots filled with locals. On a recent visit to France, I sat amid a crush of happy French diners in an atmospheric, wood-timbered restaurant. Portraits of long-forgotten city fathers kept an eye on us from the walls.

I ordered top end, my travel partner took the basic menu, and as usual, we shared. To start, we treated ourselves to a dozen juicy escargots.

I gently pried a snail out of its shell and popped it into my mouth. The taste was so striking that I found myself requesting silence at the table. It was just my mouth and the garlic-drenched snails, all alone on the dance floor of my palate.

I recommend an occasional gourmet splurge like my meal in France, especially in countries with noteworthy cuisines. But all across Europe, there are eating options to fit every budget and taste, and now that most interiors in Europe are essentially smoke-free, you can breathe while you eat.

Most restaurants have a wellpriced menu of the day, offering a choice of appetizer, entrée, and dessert at a fixed amount. These

menus aren’t just for tourists; savvy local diners are also quick to order the daily special. If you aren’t sure what to choose, take a minute before you order to observe what’s being served at the tables around you.

I like to stretch my budget (and conserve my waistline) by sharing dishes. Don’t be intimidated by a menu listing multiple courses – you’re not expected to order one of each. A good rule of thumb is for each person to order any two courses.

For example, two people can order and share one appetizer, one pasta dish, one fish dish, and one dessert – or choose two appetizers and two pastas – or whatever combination appeals.

Wherever you dine, you’ll eat better if you understand the basic menu terms. A phrase book can help you get trota (trout) instead of tripa (innards) in Italy, and ostras (oysters) instead of orejas (pig ears) in Spain.

Adapt to the culture you’re visiting. In most European restaurants, dining is not rushed and the table is yours for the entire evening. The waiter or waitress is there to serve you, but will remain in the background. Out of courtesy, you won’t be presented with the bill until you ask for it.

Many sit-down restaurants take the mystery out of tipping by including a service charge in the bill. Study the menu for words like service compris or servizio incluso. An additional tip is not expected in these cases, but if you liked the service, simply round up the bill a bit. This varies from country to country, so get advice from locals.

If you’re looking for a quick bite, you have plenty of options. Every country in Europe has its own cheap and delicious street food.

Rick St eveS’ t RavelS

By Rick Steves

In Greece, try the corner souvlaki stand. For fast food Istanbul style, grab a fishwich at the waterfront, fresh from the guys who caught it. Order up a razor-thin crêpe from a street vendor in Paris, and then choose a filling to make it savory or sweet.

If you’d rather take a seat while you eat, there are lots of casual bars and bistros. Eating at a corner café costs only a little more than lunch at a fast-food joint, but you’ll be chowing down on local fare that’s typical of the region.

One of the best examples of this is in Spain.

Every town tempts you with tapas bars, where you belly up to the bar and just point at appetizers you’d like to try. In Denmark, I love the traditional open-faced sandwiches, with simple toppings elegantly perched on a slice of bread. In Bavaria, there’s nothing more local than a knuckle of pork, spiral-cut radishes, sauerkraut, and a huge pretzel.

When I’m enjoying a delicious meal, I always appreciate hearing the quiet murmurs of other diners around me. It lets me know that I’m among like-minded souls who treat eating as bliss. Communing with others over good food, served in a setting respectful of tradition and place, is cultural tourism at its tastiest.

Rick Steves writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and radio. You can e-mail him at rick@ricksteves.com and visit his website at www.ricksteves.com.

August 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 31

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The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

Bobby Wonderful: An Imperfect Son Buries His Parents

By Bob Morris

“I

t’s perfect!”

Once upon a time, those words were music to your ears – but then you grew up. You learned then that a made bed didn’t make the man, good enough generally was, and, as in the new book “Bobby Wonderful”

by Bob Morris, sometimes it’s better to ignore perfection and simply focus on a life – or lives – well-lived.

As Morris watches his husband, Ira, struggle with his mother’s aging issues, Morris understands the emotions Ira’s going through. Caring for an elderly parent “has become the new normal,” Morris says, and he should know: he helped tend to his own parents at the end of their lives.

As his mother lay dying, Morris remembered how, when he was a child, she encouraged him to see beauty in the world around him. She loved music and was “a good mother” whose messy, painful death brought out the worst in Morris and his brother. Oh, how they fought during her final year, though her passing also showed Morris how much he truly loved and admired his older sibling.

At the funeral, Morris only wanted to talk about his mother, but “nobody seems to know how.”

Not long afterward, on a “sunny summer Monday,” Morris’ father tried to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills. Though he’d seemed to heal well from his wife’s illness and death – at eightysomething, he’d plunged back into the dating scene – his “quiet despair about his failing heart,” previously unnoticed, shook the Morris brothers to their cores. Things became worse, and as their father began to desperately hound Morris for pills to end his life, Morris looked for ways to enhance his father’s days, but time was running out and they both knew it.

During his last hospitalization, the elder Morris told his sons that he wanted off life support. It was a wish they let him have.

“Caring for your parents is an opportunity,” says Morris. “But we have no parents now, nobody to love us in the way they did. And we also have no worries now, no concerns for a suffering so close that it often felt like our own.”

Some 65 million Americans, says Morris, are caregivers. That could be why this memoir will strike a chord for many readers of Life‍ Afte‍r 50, but, aside from common-bond feelings that children of aging parents will find familiar, “Bobby Wonderful” is also a love letter wrapped inside a very beautiful, moving story. Morris’ cherished memories of his parents’ good times seem to buffer the pain of loss, and that he shares those vivid, personal recollections is a delight. Still, readers get small peeks into irritation here, exasperation, even anger sometimes, which all totally fit in this memoir. I would have, in fact, been disappointed without them.

My best advice is to grab tissues before you start this book. You’ll have abundant reason to use them, especially if you’re caring for your own parents. If that’s the case, for you, “Bobby Wonderful” will live up to its title.

“Bobby Wonderful: An Imperfect Son Buries His Parents” by Bob Morris, 2015, Twelve, $25.00, 192 pages.

The‍ Bookworm is Te‍rri Schliche‍nme‍ye‍r who live‍s on a hill with two dogs and more‍ than 12,000 books. You can re‍ad more‍ of he‍r book re‍vie‍ws at www.life‍afte‍r50.com. Just click on “Ente‍rtainme‍nt” and the‍n “Book Re‍vie‍ws.”

A Look Back

T

his month marks the passing of 50 years since Bob Dylan released his sixth studio album, “Highway 61 Revisited.” A departure from his acoustic sound, Dylan employed rock musicians for every track, except for the ballad, “Desolation Row.” Critics and fans alike embraced this offering that wove blues-based rock with poetic lyrics to create an album that reflected the political and cultural chaos of 1965 America. The album, named for the highway that connects Dylan’s birthplace – Duluth, Minnesota – to the lands that gave birth to the blues – St. Louis, Memphis, New Orleans and Mississippi, reached number three on the U.S. charts and has been ranked number four on Rolling Stone‍’s “500 Greatest Albums of All Time” list. The album’s hit, “Like a Rolling Stone,” was also listed – with blatant favoritism – as number one on Rolling Stone‍’s “500 Greatest Songs of All Time” list. The cover photo, taken by Daniel Kramer, shows Dylan on the stoop of a building. Behind him, pictured from his waist down in an orange and white striped shirt and holding a camera, is his friend, Bob Neuwirth, whom Kramer said he added just to give the photo some color. Neuwirth was seemingly omnipresent in the company of well-known musicians of the era. An artist, sometime-road manager, poet, legendary womanizer and partier, Neuwirth went on to become a filmmaker and a singer-songwriter in his own right, best-known for co-writing “Mercedes Benz” with another one of his friends – Janis Joplin.

34 LIFEAFTER50.COM August 2015

Just A Thought Before We Go “To be in harmony with the atmosphere of summer, awaken early in the morning and reach to the sun for nourishment to flourish as the gardens do. Work, play, travel, be joyful, and grow into selfless service.” ― Paul Pitchford

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