Life after 50 May 2014 by Life After 50

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lifeafter50.com

MAY 2014

LOS ANGELES METRO

The Evolving Nest

Embracing the evolution from parenting to self-reflection and reorientation

Living A Life That Is Really Alive Singer and songwriter Lani Hall Alpert on living life to the fullest

Want In On A Secret? If you have thinning hair, changing your look is easy and affordable

Bonnie Bedelia

The matriarch of NBC’s “Parenthood” on parenting, aging, living in the present and making it all less complicated

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Contents

May 2014

Cover Profile

Departments

12 Bonnie Bedelia

06 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

The matriarch of NBC’s “Parenthood” on parenting, aging, living in the present and making it all less complicated.

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of.

09 It’s The Law

Features

18 Listen Up!

10 Financial Fitness

How you can help a loved one who is dealing with diminished hearing.

22 Celebrating Mother’s Day In An Evolving Nest

Embracing “The Shift,” an evolution from parenting to self-reflection and reorientation.

29 The Look Of Life After 50 * Living A Life That Is Really Alive

Singer and songwriter Lani Hall Alpert shares her thoughts on living life to the fullest.

32 Want In On A Secret? If you have thinning or limp hair, you can change

your look and life easily and affordably.

Cover photo by Dean Keefer All material published within this issue of “Life After 50” and on www.lifeafte50.com is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. No individual, advice, product or service is in any way endorsed by “Life After 50” or Southland Publishing, Inc. or provided as a substitute for the reader’s seeking of individualized professional advice or instruction. Readers should seek the advice of qualified professional on any matter regarding an individual, advice, recommendations, services or products covered within this issue. All information and material is provided to readers with the understanding that it comes from various sources from which there is no warranty or responsibility by “Life after 50” or Southland Publishing, Inc. as to its or their legality, completeness or technical accuracy.

Mitchell A. Karasov on step-sibling unrest. How to fight back after being frozen out.

William Jordan on why you should avoid variable annuities.

21 Cooking, Eating And Living Well

Jackie Keller says your ultimate life and wellness coach is you yourself.

25 Tuned In To What’s On

The best in May television viewing.

36 Let’s Get Out

Looking to get out and about? Our May/June calendar has some great suggestions.

39 Travel

Norway in a Nutshell – A living picture postcard you will never forget.

42 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

Our May book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 3

Editor’s Note...

THE LIFE & LEGACY OF ANNE FRANK

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Welcome Gen Xers! We’re Hoping To Be One Of Your “Essentials”

’m sure, like me, you remember watching the classic television show “Bewitched,” starring Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha Stephens, a cute-as-a-bug suburban housewife who just happened to be a nosetwitching witch that was married to a mortal man. If the fact that “Bewitched” debuted 50 years ago this year is a bit too abstract for you to get your head around, the more concrete proof of the passage of time really hits home when you consider that Erin Murphy, the actress who played the Stephens’ little girl, Tabitha, will turn 50 next month. Murphy, like First Lady Michelle Obama, rocker Courtney Love and actor Nicolas Cage are (get ready) not just hitting the half-century mark this year; they also represent the last of the baby boomers, those 78 million Americans born between 1946 and 1964, who are now a part of the Fifty-Plus Club. This fact became an “ah-ha” moment for me last year when my boss, Valarie Anderson, decreed we would no longer use the phrase “boomers and beyond” to describe our readers because it excluded the Generation Xers who are now joining the fold. To mark the milestone of the last of the boomers hitting the big five-oh, AARP has announced they will be teaming up with filmmaker Timothy GreenfieldSanders to present “The Boomer List,” a documentary that will profile notable boomers, including musician Billy Joel and novelist Amy Tan, as part of the American Masters series on PBS. The series is slated to air this fall and will be accompanied by a book and exhibit at the Newseum in Washington D.C. As a part of this production, AARP has compiled numerous lists of “essentials” for boomers who, in California, represent 30 percent of the adult population – 8.6 million of the 28.9 million adults. Topping the list of AARP’s essential albums are “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” by The Beatles, “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel, “Hotel California” by The Eagles, “Tapestry” by Carole King and “Rumours” by Fleetwood Mac, while the top five films include “The Graduate,” “The Godfather,” “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” “Star Wars” and “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” Those two lists, along with all of the ones to come in “The Boomer List,” will be open to vigorous debate, but there is no doubting that any boomer worth their salt does know every song on those albums and has seen each of those films so many times they can recite the lines along with the actors. While we here at Life After 50 are by no means implying that our publication is anywhere near being within the artistic and cultural iconic status of the aforementioned list-makers, we do hope that when it comes to the new generation of those now tuning 50, our publication and website, www. lifeafter50.com, will make it on one “essential” list – yours!

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

MUSEUM OF TOLERANCE Tours and programs:

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www.sleepoverrover-california.com Advertising Director/ Associate Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor David Laurell Editorial Assistants Steve Stoliar, Marie Giusto Blauvelt, Max Andrews Associate Editor Claire Yezbak Fadden Travel Editor Ed Boitano Art Director Ernesto Esquivel Account Executives Los Angeles/South Bay: Jackie Kooper jackiek@lifeafter50.com Orange County/San Diego County: Herb Wetenkamp Herbw@lifeafter50.com VP Of Finance Michael T. Nagami Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Angela Wang Billing Supervisor Kacie Sturek VP Of Operations David Comden

Need a Pet Sitter? Our hosts will watch your dog in their home. Call us at 1-866-817-0500

For advertising/distribution inquiries contact: Valarie Anderson (310) 822-1629 x 121, Valarie@lifeafter50.com To contact our editorial department: (818) 563-1007 davidl@lifeafter50.com To contact our travel editor: (818) 985-8132 eboitano@lifeafter50.com 5355 Mcconnell Ave LA CA 90066 Valarie Anderson Valarie@lifeafter50.com 310 822-1629 x 121 ©2014 Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved

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Postal Haze

Plus

What You Need to Know

Combining influences from rock, modern jazz, soul and the blues with his own innovations, Jimi Hendrix, who died in 1970 at the age of 27, created a unique style that influenced musical artists of his era and continues to inspire musicians today. A recently released Forever Stamp celebrating his legacy shows Hendrix in performance. The 16-stamp sheet, arranged in four blocks, resembles a kaleidoscope with their upper corners meeting, giving the appearance that the stamps are spinning around each other.

By Claire Yezbak Fadden

That Girl’s Really Inspiring Actress and author Marlo Thomas, best-known for playing the role of Ann Marie in the classic 1960s sitcom “That Girl,” has just released her most recent book, “It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over! Reinventing Your Life and Realizing Your Dreams” (Atria Books, 2014), which is proving to be her most inspiring offering. A unique collection of stories about ordinary women who reinvented themselves in extraordinary ways, Thomas’ new tome is gripping, personal and instantly relatable as she brings readers into the lives of women from widely different backgrounds who all have one thing in common – they have dared to dream. Thomas offers a powerful playbook for anyone who hopes to reset the start button as she delivers an inspiring message that, no matter one’s age or the challenges they face, the best part of life can still be out there waiting to be embraced.

Fifty Candles Fifty years ago this month, the daytime drama “Another World” premiered on NBC; the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that it is unconstitutional to deprive naturalized citizens of citizenship if they return to their home country for more than three years; Peter and Gordon released their hit song “World Without Love;” U.S. diplomats found at least 40 secret microphones in the Moscow embassy; Buster Mathis defeated Joe Frazier to qualify for the U.S. Olympic boxing team; and President Lyndon Johnson presented his set of domestic policies known as the “Great Society.” Notable personalities born in May 1964 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include actress Melissa Gilbert, singer/guitarist Lenny Kravitz, sportscaster Suzy Kolber, Playboy Playmate Leisa Sheridan, hip hop musician Darryl McDaniels, country music singer Wynonna Judd and the man who will take over “The Late Show” on CBS when David Letterman retires next year, Stephen Colbert.

6 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

Being Handy Means Being Healthy Doing home repairs, mowing the lawn, gardening, house cleaning, washing your car, and even just vacuuming are among the simple activities that can reduce the risk of heart attack or stroke by almost 30 percent in people over 60, according to a recent Swedish study. Researchers found that people who were physically active around the house stayed healthier longer than couch potatoes, regardless of whether or not they also did any kind of regular exercise like jogging or going to the gym. The study showed that people with high levels of physical activity, excluding formal exercise, had a 27 percent lower risk of contracting cardiovascular disease compared to inactive people.

A Little More You Need To Know

Where You Need To Go

New Words You may not find them in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean. Conscious uncoupling: The end of a marriage where both parties view the termination of the relationship as an opportunity to turn the emotional pain of a breakup into an opportunity for growth. The term, recently popularized by actress Gwyneth Paltrow and singer Chris Martin, was originally coined by Los Angeles therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas. Crowdsourcing: Obtaining needed services, ideas or content by soliciting contributions from a large group of people, especially from an online community, rather than from traditional employees or suppliers. Often used to fundraise startup companies and charities. Go viral: The rapid spread of an image, video or link through frequent sharing using social media networks or e-mails.

View and learn about such exotic animals as the Central American tapir, giant river otters and a blue-billed curassow. Meet cotton-top tamarins, a Goliath bird-eating spider, an emerald-tree boa and mata-mata turtles at the Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens newest exhibit, Rainforest of the Americas. This two-acre exhibit on the zoo’s grounds represents a collaboration between the facility’s staff, architects and landscapers to replicate a tropical rainforest. This latest L.A. Zoo collection is an entertaining and educational encounter highlighting the magical and mysterious eco-system that is disappearing from our planet at an alarming rate, and threatening the extinction of many plants and animals. As part of the Rainforest of the Americas theme, “Everything Has a Home,” the exhibit takes you on a tour through areas showcasing a variety of reptile, bird, mammal and fish species found in rainforest areas

of Mexico, Central and South America. The $22 million Rainforest of the Americas exhibit opened in April 2014. Since 2005, the Los Angeles Zoo has conducted a complete makeover that includes a new front gate, animal health and children’s discovery centers, as well as its orangutan, gorilla, chimpanzee, elephant, sea lion and reptile/ amphibian exhibits. The multi-species Rainforest exhibit is the final project in a $172 million building program supported in part by voter-approved Proposition CC bonds. Rainforest of the Americas is free with paid admission. Zoo admission is $18 for adults and $15 for those 62 and up. Free parking is available. The Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens is located within Griffith Park at the junction of the Ventura (134) and Golden State (5) freeways at 5333 Zoo Drive in Los Angeles. The Zoo is open every day (except Christmas) from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information, call (323) 644-4200 or click on www. lazoo.org.

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month A blood test that can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a healthy person will develop mild cognitive impairment (MCI) or Alzheimer’s disease within three years has been discovered and validated by researchers at Georgetown University and six other institutions. The study, published recently in the journal Nature Medicine, explains how the researchers discovered and then validated a set of 10 lipid biomarkers in the blood that predicts both conditions. The discovery heralds the possible development of earlier treatment options for Alzheimer’s, when therapy could be more effective at slowing or even preventing onset of the disease. “Our novel blood test offers the potential to identify people at risk for progressive cognitive decline and can change how patients, their families and treating physicians plan for and manage the disorder,” says the study’s corresponding author, Dr. Howard J. Federoff, executive vice president of health sciences at Georgetown University Medical Center. To learn more, click on www.georgetown.edu.

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7

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K. Hovnanian® Companies® of California, Inc. reserves the right, at its sole discretion, to make changes or modifi cations without prior notice to any and all content set forth in this advertisement, and other ancillary information upon which this advertisement is based, including, but not limited to, prices, maps, plans, specifi cations, materials, features and exterior elevations/colors. Square footage is approximate. Any home at an advertised price is subject to immediate sale and, therefore, the availability of a home at an advertised price is subject to change without prior notice. Please contact a Sales Consultant for the latest information concerning the availability and pricing of homes as well as the availability of amenities and facilities within the community including, if applicable, information about any related assessments. Please see Sales Consultant for details. We are pledged to the letter and spirit of U.S. policy for the achievement of equal housing opportunity throughout the Nation. We encourage and support an affirmative advertising and marketing program in which there are no barriers to obtaining housing because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin. ©2014 K. Hovnanian® Companies® of California, Inc. BRE license number 01183847 KHOV 4S After50 Ad_April2014_9.375by5.75.indd 1

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108320 *Savings amounts are based on information from The Hartford’s AARP Auto Insurance Auto Insurance Program customer who became new auto insurance policyholders between 7/1/11 and 6/30/12 through the traditional AARP Auto Insurance Program and provided data regarding their savings. Authorized agents can also provide coverage under this Program. Your savings may vary. The AARP Automobile & Homeowners Insurance Program from The Hartford is underwritten by Hartford Fire Insurance Company and its affiliates, One Hartford Plaza, Hartford CT 06155. CA license number 5152. In Washington, the Auto Program is underwritten by Trumbull Insurance Company. The Home Program is underwritten by Hartford Underwriters Insurance Company. AARP does not employ or endorse agents or brokers. AARP and its affiliates are not insurers. Paid endorsement. The Hartford pays royalty fees to AARP for the use of its intellectual property. These fees are used for the general purposes of AARP. AARP membership is required for Program eligibility in most states. Applicants are individually underwritten and some may not qualify. Specific features, credits, and discounts may vary and may not be available in all states in accordance with state filings and applicable law. You have the option of purchasing a policy directly from The Hartford. Your price, however, could vary, and you will not have the advice, counsel or services of your independent agent. In Texas, the Auto Program is underwritten by Southern County Mutual Insurance Company, through Hartford of Texas General Agency, Inc. Hartford Fire Insurance Company and its affiliates are not financially responsible for insurance products underwritten and issued by Southern County Mutual Insurance Company. The Home Program is underwritten by Twin City Fire Insurance Company.

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It’s the Law Mitchell A. Karasov

Mitchell A. Karasov, Esq. has offices in Los Angeles, Ventura County and the Coachella Valley. He specializes in elder law with emphasis in estate planning, Medi-Cal eligibility, trust administration, probate, conservatorships of person or estate, estate and trust litigation and financial abuse litigation. For more information click on www.karasovelderlaw.com or call (818) 508-7192.

Step-Sibling Unrest – Fighting Back After Being Frozen Out

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It has been quite a few years since my mother and late stepfather, desiring all their kids to equally inherit their estate, assigned my brother and me to be successor trustees on their living trust. Our mother also selected us as her power of attorney. My step-sisters weren’t placed in charge, because they only showed interest in an inheritance. After my stepfather died, his daughters offered to help and my mom was unusually receptive, although my brother rejected their offer and helped her himself. About a year ago, my brother died and my step-sisters tried once again to help her with the bills, but I, too, hit the brakes. Everything had been going alright until mom became depressed and upset. I suggested she should consider moving to an assisted living community and this set off a string of problems. Her caregivers were fired and when I Study conducted by AC Burggren, Ph.D. called my mother, one of my step-sisters answered and said that they won’t let UCLA Dept of Psychiatry me put her away, and hung up. The security at her gated community told me my mother did not want to see me and, if I entered, I would be trespassing. T:4.625” I called my mother’s attorney and he informed me that he could not discuss anything with me, because my mother had stripped me of all legal powers under her estate plan. I spoke to a couple of estate attorneys and they advised me I don’t have a good chance of changing that, because her attorney drafted new documents and there are no medical records indicating dementia or capacity Protocol ID:IRB#12-000982 UCLA IRB Approved Approval Date: 2/19/2014 Through: 7/17/2014 Comm issues. I called her broker and found out I couldn’t discuss her account with CAN SAVE YOU MONEY SAFER DRIVING him anymore, because my name was removed from the accounts. I can’t let this go, because I’m afraid my step-sisters won’t care for my mother. Also, I want to protect my late brother’s children’s inheritance. I cannot believe this happened, because I thought everything was in place and now I’m frozen out Take the NEW AARP There’s a course near you! of everything. Am I really fighting an unbeatable battle?

Don’t throw in the towel because some attorneys have discouraged you from pursuing a case to protect your mother. Please understand that her attorney is going to tell you there’s nothing you can do, because he has a duty to your mother to say that, especially after just having drafted new estate planning documents for her. The other estate planning attorneys might litigate cases involving advanced dementia, but not undue influence or complicated cognitive issues. Having done these types of cases for years, I can tell you that there are legal steps you can take to end this type of takeover by your step-sisters and ensure your mother and her finances are protected. The attorney will need to review every draft of the estate planning documents and all of your mother’s financial records and medical reports. The fact that you were named in the documents can be an advantage to show that you were the intended family member to act on their behalf. The fact that neither of them named your step-sisters is also telling. The financial account information will be helpful so that the attorney can put the institutions on notice of the controversy before anyone attempts to freeze her accounts in advance of any court proceedings. Since there is a trust involved, a trust proceeding, as well as a conservatorship of the person and estate, will be in order to help you remove your step-sisters and to work towards regaining control. Another potential issue to be addressed is invalidating any new inheritance provisions. If your step-sisters went to the trouble of seizing control from you, perhaps they already have increased their potential inheritance and disinherited you. I can’t emphasize enough that you need to move hastily and retain an attorney that has significant experience with these types of cases. ✦

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ariable Annuities are one of the most common investments presented to folks over the age of 50 and yet, they get quite a bit of negative press. Over the years, companies offering variable annuities have tried to come up with different ways to make this product sound attractive. I’ll touch briefly on their key problems and then shine the light on the latest sales tactic being used to promote these investments.

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William Jordan is a nationally recognized wealth manager and a wellknown speaker on financial and investment topics. To request a meeting to discuss William’s “Seven Percent Solution,” contact his office at (949) 380-8600 or click on www.WJAoc.com.

The Key Problems

The most significant long-term problem with variable annuities is their cost. The annual costs including all possible expenses are often above three percent and sometimes even above four percent. These costs come out before you earn anything, and, if your investments have a bad year, will cause you to lose money. Variable annuities are usually invested in the stock market, making them an investment which can and will lose money at times. If you take the long-term market average return of 10 percent and subtract your expenses, you have an investment that might average six or seven percent over time and can lose money during any given year. The main benefit of variable annuities is that the gains are tax deferred. If you are in a very high tax bracket and expect to be in a much lower bracket in the future, that might be enough to offset the higher costs. Although the downside is the income from variable annuities is taxed as ordinary income where the income from stocks and mutual funds can largely be taxed as capital gains. That right there is enough of a negative for me not to recommend variable annuities. There would almost never be a good reason to buy a variable annuity inside an IRA account. If any financial advisor is giving you pressure to buy this inside your IRA, I would strongly encourage you to call my office and we will happily provide a complimentary analysis for you.

Sales Tactics And Income Benefit Riders

Run The Numbers

If you are considering variable annuities, you MUST run the numbers first. Feel free to contact our office for our free Income Benefit Analysis of any annuity product before making a decision. We will run the numbers and tell you if it is a good or a bad idea. ✦

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A Special Wellness Report New Medicine Based On An 88-Year Old Theory By Albert Einstein Can Help Almost Everyone Who Is Sick Or Injured!

hat you are about to read may be the most important information you’ve ever read. Here is why.

inflammation, increase cellular energy, increase cell permeability (so that the nutrients the cell needs to heal can get into the cell) and even help correct faulty DNA!*

Albert Einstein was, quite possibly, the most intelligent person who ever lived. His theories and ideas were so far ahead of his time, that even now, the smartest scientists alive are still discovering his value.

What you have just read is a very simplistic (almost childish) explanation of low-level laser therapy, of how it works, and what it can do for you. But this is something that needs to be explained to you much more accurately by a real expert.

One of his theories published in 1917, worked out the theory of how lasers function. However, it was not until May 16, 1960 (43 years later) that the first actual laser was developed by an American scientist. Since then, scientists and inventors have developed many types of lasers and all kinds of uses for them. They can be used as a scalpel that is so delicate, it can be used on the eyes of human beings. Lasers are used to read price codes at your local supermarkets. And they’re used to play music and video on your CD’s and DVD’s. But now, there is a new type of laser so effective against human disease and injury that it is rapidly changing the practice of medicine. This is a new type of low-level laser which produces an unfocused light that has been...

Registered With The FDA To Be 100% Safe! Low-level lasers use less than one watt of power and they produce what can best be described as a “Healing Light”. Here is a somewhat un-scientific description of how this “Healing Light” can potentially help reverse the damage done by human sickness and disease. As you probably know, our entire bodies are made up of cells. The health of all human cells is based on energy. If your cells don’t receive enough energy, they will weaken and the body will become sick. Call 1-800-303-6923, Code 6529.

Be One Of The First 200 To Call & Receive A Free DVD! For you to be healthy, what your cells need is exactly the right kind and the right amount of energy. Every time you get injured or become sick, the energy flow to your cells is disrupted. Until the proper type and amount of energy is restored, you will remain sick or injured. That’s what a low-level laser device does. It re-energizes the cells in your body with the right kind and proper amount of healing energy. It may surprise you to learn that low level lasers are ...

Used By Doctors To Heal Their Patients In The Fastest Way Possible! Could you guess what kind of doctors use the highest percent of low-level lasers on their patients? It’s doctors involved in sports medicine. Why? The answer is simple. You see, doctors involved in sports medicine often have to get their patients better in the fastest way humanly possible because every day he remains “unhealthy” can cost the sports organization millions of dollars. But here’s something exciting! You don’t actually need to go to a doctor to get laser therapy. If you want to you

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To Help Almost Every Health Problem Ever Experienced By A Human Being! Dr. Lytle believes (as do many other people) low-level laser therapy will become the medicine of the future. If you hold a low-level laser device against the skin of your body and turn it on, you will be able to see the laser light... but... you will not be able to feel it. There probably won’t even be a sensation of warmth. Laser light is as gentle as the kiss of a butterfly. But, from a healing point of view, it is quite possible it is more effective than drugs or surgery. Low-level laser therapy is not just the medicine of the future. For many people who know about it, it is the “medicine” they use now. The problem of trying to explain the healing powers of low-level laser therapy is...

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May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11

Bonnie Bedelia

The matriarch of NBC’s “Parenthood” on parenting, aging, living in the present and making it all less complicated By David Laurell • Photos by Dean Keefer

12 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

arol Brady, Clair Huxtable, Harriet Nelson, Marion Cunningham, Julia Baker, Morticia Addams, June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Shirley Partridge, Edith Bunker, Lily Munster – from the Golden Age of television right on through today, the list of iconic TV moms goes on and on. In 2010, Americans were introduced to another media matriarch – Camille Braverman – as NBC debuted “Parenthood.” Camille, played by actress Bonnie Bedelia, is an artist who has been married to her husband, Zeek, played by Craig T. Nelson, for over 45 years, and is the mother of four adult children, Adam, played by Peter Krause, Sarah, played by Lauren Graham, Crosby, played by Dax Shepard and Julia, played by Erika Christensen. “Parenthood,” a critically acclaimed one-hour drama that was inspired by the 1989 feature film of the same name, follows the colorful

and imperfect Braverman family. Produced by Hollywood heavy hitters Ron Howard, Brian Grazer, Jason Katims, Lawrence Trilling and David Hudgins, viewers have become hooked on the family members who, while dealing with myriad challenges and clan clashes, always manage to muster up the love to be there for one another. “The Bravermans seem to be dysfunctional,” says Bedelia. “But I don’t think they are. I think they are just complicated – like most any family. Actually, I think the Bravermans function very well in spite of the fact that they have their share of problems and are not big on sharing and being very open with one another.”

The Bonnie Backstory

The real-life daughter of Phillip Culkin, a journalist, and Marian Wagner, a writer and editor, Bonnie Bedelia Culkin was born in New York in 1948. From the time she was very young, Bonnie, like her three siblings, worked as a

child actor. Trained in ballet and schooled at the Quintano School for Young Professionals, Bonnie made her professional stage debut at the age of nine in a North Jersey Playhouse production of “Dr. Praetorius.” Going on to study at George Balanchine’s New York City Ballet on a scholarship, she was also trained at New York’s legendary Herbert Berghof Studio and The Actors Studio. At the age of 13, Bonnie was cast in what would become a five-year portrayal of Sandy Porter in the CBS daytime drama “Love of Life.” While doing the soap, she also appeared in numerous Broadway productions, which led to film offers. Making her big screen debut in the 1969 feature, “The Gypsy Moths,” which reunited “From Here to Eternity” stars Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr, Bonnie continued to do film work throughout her 20s, most notably as a dirt-poor marathon dancer in the 1969 Depression-era drama, “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” and as a lovable bride-to-be in the delightful 1970 comedy, “Lovers and Other Strangers.” In 1969, Bonnie married scriptwriter Ken Luber and the couple had two boys, Yuri, born in 1970 and Jonah in 1976. While motherhood took up the majority of her time during the 1970s, she did periodically work and, by the 1980s, was back to work on a regular basis, starting with the role of race car driver Shirley Muldowney in the 1983 feature, “Heart Like a Wheel,” for which she received a Golden Globe nomination. Continuing her film work into the latter part of the 1980s and ‘90s, she appeared in numerous features, most notably as Holly, the put-upon wife of Bruce Willis’ character John McClane in 1988’s “Die Hard” and its 1990 sequel, and as Barbara Sabich, the wife of Harrison Ford’s character in 1990’s “Presumed Innocent.” Also working in television, she was nominated for an Emmy Award for her performance in Showtime’s 1993 series “Fallen Angels” and appeared in numerous leading roles in a number of made-for-TV movies and miniseries. From 2001 to 2004, she played the role of Captain Kate McCafferty in the Lifetime television series, “The Division,” guest starred in “Big Love” and “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” and starred opposite Rue McClanahan and Olivia Newton-John in the 2008 Logo TV sitcom “Sordid Lives: The Series.” In 1995, the then-divorced Bedelia married actor Michael MacRae, best-known for his work in 1988’s “Shoot to Kill,” 1978’s “Coma,” and 2000’s “Battlefield Earth.” The couple, who met when they were cast by director Brian Dennehy in his 1995 film, “Shadow of a Doubt,” today live in Palm Springs, where the actress recently invited Life After 50 to spend some time with her. Life After 50 (LA50): You seem to have had an exciting childhood. What memories are most vivid for you from your early years? Bonnie Bedelia (BB): I grew up in a wonderful New York City neighborhood – Yorkville. It was a predominantly Irish and Italian neighborhood, but it was really a melting pot of Czechs and Hungarians and Poles and Jews. It was a culturally rich neighborhood where you would always find people out on their stoops visiting May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 13

with one another and the streets filled with kids playing kick the can or jump rope or stickball. It was a very family-oriented blue collar neighborhood. I was an actor as a kid and I just loved the work. I wasn’t the big Hollywood type of child actor. I did theater and was very serious about it. I had a wonderful childhood until I lost my mother when I was 16. That was the end of my childhood. LA50: Was your mother’s death expected? BB: My mother died of cancer. From the time she was diagnosed until she passed away was about three years, so, while it may have been expected, I wasn’t prepared to lose her. I was devastated. She was a major force in our family and in the lives of her children. There were four of us kids and we were all a year-and-ahalf apart, so we all grew up together in a very tight family. But then, after my mother died, our family just sort of fell apart. I didn’t realize it at the time, but, as I got older and looked back at my childhood, I came to realize all my feelings 14 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

about family and who we were as a family and as individuals was influenced by my mother. LA50: You’re a mother yourself and now also play the role of an iconic TV mom. As a mother, are you like your mom? BB: I am very much like my mother in terms of parenting. I have noticed that more and more as I have gotten older. My mother was totally devoted to her children and I was obsessive about my kids in much the same way. The difference was our circumstances. Unlike her, I didn’t raise four children who were very close in age in the inner city without any help. I had two children that were seven years apart, and, by the time I had my boys, I was an established actress, so I was able to continue to work, although I did take breaks when they were young. But yes, I followed my mother’s lead in mothering. I always viewed my kids as independent people. I always listened to them. I think so many adults just look at their kids as children who don’t have any real problems or complications to deal with, and if they do, they

are not important. I remember as a child how things would hurt and how I would have problems that were very real to me. So I’ve always made it a point to be respectful of what my kids had to say and their point of view on things. I have always had a very good relationship with my boys and I think that is because I was always very open with them. They also had a great father who was very hands-on. He was very caring – like a second mother to them. LA50: What about Camille? What sort of a mother is she? Camille is a completely different situation than either me or my mother. She got pregnant early – at 17 – to her boyfriend. It was during the Viet Nam War and he went off to war and then came back and found out he was a father, so they got married and had other children. There is some 15 years between their first child and their youngest, so Camille was a mother with young children for a very long time. Because of that, she had never seen the world – had never even been out of the

LA50: Why do you think that is?

country – so her total sense of self is as that of a mother to her children and a grandmother to her grandchildren. She has been a painter, but she was never really able to do anything with it, because of the demands of being a mother. So Camille and I are very different. My work has taken me all over the world. I’ve had a lot of life experiences. That is why I feel for her. I think the world is so interesting and offers so much, and yet she never had an opportunity to experience any of it. She loves her husband with all her heart, although he’s not an easy guy to love or live with. They don’t share the same goals. I remember once when she told him that she wanted to see the world and he said he wasn’t interested in that, because he had seen it and didn’t care for it much. But as those who watch the show know, she finally made the decision that she would no longer deny herself and took off to see Italy on her own. She just got to the point in which she saw her life slipping away and she wasn’t going to be kept down any longer. LA50: Can you share some thoughts about some of the folks you are working with on “Parenthood?” BB: Well, this is the third time in my career that Craig and I have played husband and wife in completely different jobs spread over 30 years. He is a lovely guy. He is alternately quiet and introspective and also very funny and goofy. I never know which Craig I’m going to get. He is wonderful to work with. He comes up with great ideas for our scenes. It is very easy to work with him, because we have developed a shorthand with one another and, well, you know that comes from having been in so many beds together (laughs). I also just love Peter Krause. I had a big crush on him when he was doing “Sports Night” and was completely addicted to “Six Feet Under.” He is a

wonderful actor and a very centered person – the way Midwesterners tend to be. I love his style. LA50: How is it to work for a TV legend – Ron Howard? BB: Like everyone, I’ve known of Ron Howard forever. We all grew up watching him with Andy Griffith and then on “Happy Days.” I always thought he was the cutest thing going. Then, what an amazing filmmaker and artist he turned out to be. I really enjoy working with him. He is very easy to talk to and is always accessible. He is a unique individual in this business. There is something very uncomplicated about him. He is a very down-to-earth guy with zero pretention. LA50: You shoot the show at Universal Studios. What is it like to work on that storied lot? BB: I love the Universal lot. I love being on the lot of any of the old studios in L.A. I was a contract player at MGM when I was 19 and I was fascinated with its history. I remember once going into a restroom next to the stage where they did the “Wizard of Oz” and thinking, I bet Judy Garland was in this bathroom. I grew up on old movies. When I was in my teens, I watched all the old Bette Davis and Joan Crawford and Lauren Bacall movies. I would get completely immersed in those films. It’s kind of sad that I don’t see that happening with younger actresses today. To them, ancient film history means “Star Wars.” I work with people who are in their 30s who are professional working actors and actresses and I’ll mention a legendary actor or actress and I’m astounded that they have no idea who they are. When I was a kid, I knew all the actors and directors from the 1930s and ’40s – before my time.

BB: I have found that younger people today seem to have absolutely no interest whatsoever in things from the past. Everything to them is about “now,” and even more so in a world of Twitter and social media. Kids today watch TV with a computer on their lap while they’re on the phone. There was a time when something or someone would come up in conversation and you would discuss it or try to remember certain things and then maybe go look it up in an encyclopedia. Now, the minute something comes up, everyone goes right to their phone to get the answer. Because of today’s technology, everything you need to know is so immediately available. Because of that, there is seemingly no need to really know anything. You have a phone to know things for you on an immediate at-need basis. That is all a part of what I see with younger people today. That they live completely in the present, which isn’t really a bad thing. It’s what those of my generation had a hard time learning to do. The problem is that, as much as they live in the present, they don’t seem to really be “in” the present. You see people sitting with one another in a restaurant and they are both staring at their phones. They are not really in the present – in that restaurant with that other person. Kids today text and Tweet one another while they are in the same room. To me, I want to be with the person I’m with and look into their eyes and see the expressions on their face and be aware of my surroundings and feel the sun and the breeze and watch the people walking by on the street. I think that is really what living in the present is about. LA50: Speaking of the present, tell us a bit about your life today – about your real children and husband. How are they doing? BB: My two boys are in their 30s now. One is an architect and the younger one, while he has a science degree, is doing improv and studying acting in New York. He’s talented and he wants to give it a shot. My husband and I love our life in Palm Springs. We are always busy, mostly renovating our home. When I’m working, we drive in from Palm Springs together. We stay at the hotel at Universal and while I’m working, Michael visits people and runs some errands and plays golf. The producers have been very accommodating with me. They know I don’t live in L.A., so they usually arrange to shoot my scenes in a day or so and then I’ll have five to eight days before I’m called back for the next episode. LA50: What is a typical day for you when you are not working? BB: We have been renovating our home and Michael and I are very hands-on with the remodeling. I love to paint. I’m a classically trained painter and I mostly do portraits. I’m also a very good cook. I’m very well-known for my cooking. I’m a creative cook. I rarely work from recipes. I like to just see what I have and then work with those things. So I enjoy making meals and just relaxing and watching May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 15

television. My husband and I fortunately have the same tastes in television. We love watching Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. We are also fans of “Homeland,” “House of Cards,” “True Detectives” and “Looking,” which is really smart and we are completely hooked on. After dinner we go to our DVR and see what we need to get through. I have also begun to write my memoirs for my children. I began doing that just for my boys, but I recently ran into Jane Fonda, who I’ve known for years. I told her what I was doing and she said she understood that. “We do that so we won’t be judged so harshly,” she told me. I thought she was right about that. I mean, we all make mistakes in every aspect of our lives but, perhaps more so for mothers, we have a hard time coming to terms with the mistakes we made as a parent. I think that is why women want grandchildren so badly. They want to have the chance to rectify things and do things differently – make up for the mistakes they feel they made with their own children. It’s like a doover to prove something to yourself, and maybe also to your children, that as time went by, you finally got it and figured it out a little better. LA50: Do you maintain any sort of exercise regimen? BB: Not really. I got very lucky with my genes. My father was 50 when I was born and when I think back, I remember people being very surprised when they found out how old he was. He looked like all my friends’ fathers who were much younger than him. So I got his genes and, I think, because I have features that are soft, I also look younger than I am. But I have to admit, I’m pretty lax when it comes to keeping in shape. I do try to go to the gym now and then, but I really don’t do anything. I don’t always use moisturizer. I just kind of lucked out with the genes. It will probably catch up with me at some point (laughs) but I’m really just too lazy to do much about my physical appearance. I also believe that, along with genes, the way we look as we age has a lot to do with our outlook on life. I think the way you feel about life and the life you are living is a major factor in the way you look and feel. I think being curious about things and laughing a lot are important. I am married to a very funny guy. I wake up laughing. I think that is what is really important in the way people perceive you. LA50: As you have gotten older, have you adopted any philosophies on aging? BB: I just don’t pay any attention to it. No matter what age you are, it’s just a number. I know people who are around my age, and even younger, in some cases, a lot younger, who seem to be so old. Conversely, I know people who are in their 80s who are like they are in their 40s or 50s. As I have gotten older, I have learned that your interest level and your love of living and laughing and being a part of it all is what keeps you oblivious to age. I know people who are younger than me who say “I can’t do that” or “I shouldn’t do that.” They just get overly cautious and fearful about living life and that prevents 16 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

you from really living life and that makes you old. LA50: Do you have any bucket list items that have yet to be crossed off? BB: Yes! I want to be a grandmother, and neither one of my boys are doing anything to help me with that (laughs). Besides that, which is my big one, I love to travel. I have never been to the Far East and really want to go there, and also to Africa. I would also like to do movies again. I have had to turn down some films because of the demands of my television work, but I would really like to do films again. LA50: Maybe another “Die Hard” film? BB: I would definitely do another “Die Hard” film. That would be a lot of fun. I loved working with Bruce. He was fun and I really enjoyed his humor. But I don’t know. In this business, men are allowed to age and still get work and yet women, who still look beautiful into their 60s and 70s,

have a harder time when it comes to being cast in leading roles. LA50: Bonnie, when people get to know you, what is the thing that surprises them the most about you? BB: That I’m very handy. I build all sorts of things and I’m very good with plumbing and electrical work. I built a cabin once. I’m every mechanically inclined. I think that comes out of being independent and being out on my own at an early age. That was the way I lived my life when I was young – figuring things out, taking things apart to see how they work and then putting them back together. I think when you do that with things, or even with relationships or yourself – take them apart and look at their inner workings – you learn that things are not as complicated as they seem to be. That’s what I’m all about – trying to figure things out and make life less complicated. ª

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Listen Up! Do you have a loved one with diminished hearing? If so, you can play a vital role in helping them accept and deal with their challenges Compiled by Maxine Andrews

ith May being Better Hearing and Speech Month, we here at Life After 50 thought it would be an excellent opportunity to raise awareness about hearing loss and the role and responsibilities that should be considered by those with a hearing problem as well as those who love and care for them.

It All Starts With Denial Acknowledging hearing loss usually begins with complex reactions, but the first and most common one is denial. Although there are many reasons why people go into denial about hearing loss, the bottom line is: taking that first step to get a hearing test may confirm their worst fear – that they do, indeed, have a hearing loss. There are factors that make denial a logical mindset for many people. For example, hearing loss often progresses slowly. People don’t realize what they are missing in conversations and how many everyday sounds from the world around them they no longer hear – they subconsciously adapt to this subtle progression. It is a fact that it takes about seven years for someone to acknowledge hearing loss. They may even hear well in some situations – good acoustics, quiet atmosphere without background noise, one-on-one conversations with a familiar person who articulates clearly. This results in the rationalization that their hearing is fine. Denial can even be a tricky thing when a person uses it as a defense mechanism, causing them to point their finger outward: everyone else has the problem – the world “mumbles.” But most of the time, the denial goes back to our society’s historical “taboo” of aging.

18 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

Helping A Loved One Move Beyond Denial The best advice for helping someone who is experiencing hearing problems is to remember not to push too hard. If you do, they will resist even more. After all, if someone is in denial, then they truly believe nothing is wrong. First, find out where they are having the most trouble hearing and work on situations one at a time. Show them what they are missing as opposed to nagging, mocking or making fun of what you have observed. If the volume of a television becomes too loud, look into assistive-listening devices that can be used with televisions. Find a phone or handset with stronger volume control if they are missing phone calls. Or, if they can’t hear the doorbell, alarm clock or smoke alarm, look into visual/vibrating alerting systems. Use safety as the motivator to get them to consider taking that hearing test. These are the first steps to get people to be aware of their hearing loss and what they can do about it. As the person who is trying to get a loved one to have a hearing test, it is important for you to know the other reasons for making that happen. Long-term unchecked hearing loss can cause auditory deprivation (a condition that results in the brain “forgetting” how to hear and understand speech). Remember, 95 percent of people with hearing loss can be treated with hearing aids and nine out of 10 hearing aid users report improvements in their quality of life.

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Here are some other helpful hints to help you deal with denial: • Sit down and talk openly and honestly about how their hearing loss affects you and your relationship with them. Assure them that they are loved and how you miss being able to enjoy things together. Make the hearing loss “our” problem not just “their” problem. • Get them used to the idea of scheduling a regular hearing test as part of good routine healthcare, just like getting mammograms, checking blood pressure, testing vision, and having a colonoscopy. Set an example by getting your own hearing tested. • Watch for health fairs that offer free screenings. Go to them together and take advantage of all the information as well as the free screenings they may offer. • Help by setting up appointments with a hearing-care professional. • Stay positive – the issue could be as simple as a buildup of wax in the ear. • Offer to drive or find someone else to drive them to their appointments. • Check to see if their medical insurance covers hearing evaluations and hearing aids. If there is no coverage, offer to help with the cost, if that is feasible for you. You can also check on what financial help may be available by clicking on www.hearingloss.org. • Most importantly, educate yourself about hearing loss: the different types, the causes, the psycho-social impact, and what can be done to help those with hearing loss. With this information under your belt, you will be ready when they are and can help answer questions and steer them in the right direction.ª

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Your Ultimate Life And Wellness Coach Is YOU!

very year, during the month of May, International Coaching Week occurs. This is an annual recognition of the coaching profession and the people who benefit from it. There are many different types of coaches, from life coaches to executive coaches to wellness coaches, but all hold the same passion: to motivate people and help them realize their optimum potential. I am aware that some people don’t really understand what a life or wellness coaches actually does, so my goal in this month’s column is to shed some light on what it means to be coached and offer some advice on how to access the potential you have within you.

The Choice Is Yours

In his book, “Why We Do What We Do” (Penguin Books, 1996) Edward Deci writes: “At the heart of human freedom is the experience of choice.” As a coach, I am always talking to people in terms of making their own choices and forging their own path. The entire premise of coaching is built on the premise that if you can help people unlock their own intrinsic motivation, they will be empowered to do most anything. I know it is a bit surprising to some that coaches don’t just handle the decisionmaking for their clients and simply tell them what to do. We don’t, because that doesn’t work. Research shows that, while being told or controlled may be the easy way to try and get someone to change their behavior, it assumes that the promise of reward or the threat of punishment will make the person comply without question. Anyone who has ever raised a child or tried to compel someone to do something knows how that works… or doesn’t. In his novel 1955 novel, “East of Eden,” John Steinbeck wrote about the Hebrew word “timshel,” which means “thou mayest.” “It might be the most important word in the world,” Steinbeck opines. “That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘thou mayest’– it is also true that ‘thou mayest not.’”

To Question Or Declare? That Is The Question

I recently read a great article in The Guardian (a British publication) on selftalk – the messages we give ourselves and how much difference it can make. It’s been shown that if you want to accomplish a challenging task, you’re better off phrasing your self-motivation as a question (“Will I talk to my boss about that promotion?”) rather than simply declaring it (“I will talk to my boss about that promotion”). The declaration sounds better, but it’s the question that generates more “intrinsic motivation,” calling to mind your deeply held reasons for wanting to act. This is based on a study published by the National Institutes of Health. Simply put, asking yourself a question about your potential behavior is far more likely to motivate you to behave, as opposed to simply declaring it to be so. As Daniel Pink wrote in his book, “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” (Riverhead Books, 2011), “Control leads to compliance: autonomy leads to engagement...only engagement can produce mastery.” Remember, it’s not strength, but desire that moves us. Question what you truly desire and then look within yourself for the answer and the motivation to reach it. The best coach you have is, and always will be, yourself. If you’d like a complimentary consultation, please call me at (310) 473-1989, e-mail me at JackieKeller.com, or click on www.nutrifitonline.com. And please tune in to my weekly online TV show, “Food Exposed: What’s on Your Plate?” on Empowerme.tv.com, YouTube, Daily Motion, or www.nutrifitonline.com, that presents a coaching segment called “Last Bite.” ª May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 21

Celebrating Mother’s Day in an Evolving Nest Embracing “The Shift,” an evolution from the rigors of parenting to a period of self-reflection and reorientation Special to Life After 50 by Wendy Aronsson, L.C.S.W.

his month, as we celebrate Mother’s Day, I am reminded of the past 10 years when I awoke to our sons bursting with excitement to present me with homemade cards and gifts they had created for the occasion. There was no better feeling than to be showered with such affection and adoration. While those feelings remain the same, things have changed dramatically. Even though I cherish my memories of the past, the present brings enormous gratification from having the privilege of being witness to the continuous development and growth of my little boys into adults. I think back to the Mother’s Day when the bouquet of flowers from my husband arrived on the same day our youngest son received his letter of acceptance from college. I remember being struck by a sudden surge of emotions which, in retrospect, I realize were triggered by a new phase in our family’s status quo. That day marked the beginning of many changes; an evolution of a new phase for everyone in our family which I call “The Shift.” Soon after, there was the ramp-up to high school graduation and days were filled with errands and events. We were so busy doing things in our household, there was little opportunity to reflect on the many changes underway in our lives that signaled we were evolving into The Shift. As May of that year wound to a close, I flipped the page on the calendar to June. It was the last page of the calendar – there was no July. That was when I realized the calendar that had hung on my wall was my son’s high school calendar with the dates of games, parent-teacher meetings and school holidays. I looked at the final series of school-related events that ended with “Graduation” and felt a jumble of emotions. There would never be another high school calendar in our home again.

It Was Then I Realized – We Were In The Shift

The Shift has become my term for a life phase revolving around the departure of young adults from the nest. The end of school calendars signifies the end of a time when I will know what’s happening, on a day-to-day basis, in my sons’ lives. It’s a subtle reminder of a big change to come. Whatever calendars I may have from now on, they will forever look a whole lot different. In contrast, when my older son graduated from high school, the changes in our nest were not as dramatic. We still had schedules that included academic, social and extracurricular activities. Yet, in subtle ways, his departure awakened me to the imminent journey towards The Shift, prompting me to write my first book, “Refeathering the Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave,” (Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2014) to illuminate the challenges and opportunities associated with The Shift, a time of continuous evolution in the lives of parents and their young adults. Just as our younger son was taking great strides toward independence as a college freshman, our older son moved into the next stage of his life. He finished

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

college, secured employment, and moved into his first post-college apartment, which he chose himself and furnished on his own. He had launched and was solidly on his way to adulthood. While there is a great deal of excitement and fulfillment in watching those developments in our older son’s life, it was the younger son’s departure that signaled the fact that my husband and I were actually in the midst of our experience with The Shift. Being a mother has been among the most gratifying, challenging, and inspirational aspects of my life. Being a psychotherapist has given me a unique perspective on the myriad feelings that many, like my husband and I, may experience with The Shift as their own roles as parents evolve. Facing my own circuitous path through The Shift made me even more attuned to what other people were experiencing as they go through it. Millions of us baby boomers are concurrently moving through the same phase of life, with feelings, perceptions, and behavior. While these changes may be quite similar for many, for others, they can be very different. However, no matter how we deal with The Shift, one thing we surely have in common is a disruption in our day-to-day lives – our status quo. From the very different celebrations that now occur on Mother’s Day to the noticeable changes in the daily schedule, our nest has a new look and feel. When the routines get interrupted, the natural tendency is to try to restore them. You may try to have the evening meal at the same time as you did during the school years, or your young adult may still make an effort to play golf with dad on Saturday morning. There may also be reversions to a mommy-child style of interaction at times. All of these kinds of actions figure into the evolution that is happening. One day last summer, just before my son headed to college, he saw me getting ready to do a few errands and said, “Hey, Mom, when you’re out, could you please pick up some toothpaste and deodorant for me?” He was not trying to test the waters to see how much I would do for him. On some level, he was probably just trying to maintain the status quo. He has a license to drive now, but up to the time when he was able to drive and have some independence, mom would always get the bathroom supplies and various other items – it was a normal part of his life.

Gone With The Shift

The Shift continues in ebbs and flows. Because of that, you are like a bridge that can only sustain high winds if flexible enough to move with them, yet firm and strong enough to fulfill its purpose in providing stability and strength. There are times when The Shift feels more pronounced and times where the changes feel more subtle. For example, it is more pronounced during graduation and helping with the move to college; particularly, with the last embrace and the goodbyes. The Shift may be experienced as more subtle when they are home for a visit and old patterns of behavior are reawakened. You may find that, during these visits, your children may revert back to behavior from younger years when their laundry, meals and errands were all taken care of by their parents. At the same time, you might expect them to be back at a certain time. You might find yourself waiting up anxiously until they return home safely. Perhaps you have expected them to be back at a time that was once agreed upon as being “reasonable.” Perhaps you expect to know where they are going and with whom. If so, you have succumbed to old patterns of behavior that have become incompatible and forever gone with The Shift. The mix of reawakened behaviors and expectations with the new evolving family landscape demonstrate that The Shift is a work in progress. The Shift requires a conscious revisiting and renegotiation of these behaviors and expectations.

Getting In-Synch With The Shift

While The Shift is challenging, those challenges are matched by the opportunities it brings, which can be identified and embraced. The challenges can become opportunities when new behaviors and expectations are in-synch with The Shift. One way to accomplish this is by recognizing and addressing the changes that might now be occurring in your life. Perhaps, like me, you experience Mother’s Day differently than you did in the past. Know that this difference is all part of the ongoing evolution of The Shift. Awareness and understanding can lead you to further fulfillment as your family life continues to evolve. This is because evolution requires adaptation, and adaptation requires awareness. For me, Mother’s Day is symbolic of my journey as a parent and the changes I feel privileged to have witnessed in the development of my children to young adults and whose lives are continuing to evolve as their independence grows. We take immense joy from sharing their lives. This includes hearing their views, their aspirations, passions, their relationships with others (to the extent they share this with us). This has added a new, unexpected and wonderful dimension to our relationship. So, while the homemade gifts and cards are gone, they have been replaced with an evolved facet of the family relationship. We look forward to their continued development. I realize that the journey continues and that future celebrations of Mother’s Day will continue to evolve as our life circumstances change. On this Mother’s Day, I will be looking towards the future and imagining myself looking back to today with memories now being made in recognition of our evolution through The Shift. Wendy Aronsson has been a licensed psychotherapist since 1981 and is in private practice in Greenwich, Connecticut. She is a guest lecturer and consultant at area schools and with Parents Together, an organization sponsored by local public and independent schools. ª

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 23

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Rob Ely’s Rockin’ 50’s Review

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A Tribute to Frankie Valli

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Refeathering The Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave Empty nest parents should be elated that their houses are (finally) clean, neat and quiet. They can now enjoy some leisure time and refocus their energies on exciting new projects outside the home. Many couples, however, face the prospect of an empty nest with anxiety and trepidation. Licensed psychotherapist Wendy Aronsson has written a refreshingly candid new book on this subject, “Refeathering the Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave” (Rowman & Littlefield, 2014). The 240-page book, which retails for $36, provides parents with practical advice on how they can embrace life’s newest chapter, which Aronsson calls “The Shift,” a phase that represents a profound change from the daily rigors of constant parenting to a period of self-reflection and reorientation. She explores the array of emotions and life changes that often include a few bumps in the road on the way to figuring it all out. “Refeathering the Empty Nest: Life After the Children Leave” is a must-read for any parent preparing for the departure of their youngest child. This book is for those who wish to move forward productively, and embrace new parenting roles. In her book, Aronsson uses real-life stories to show how people have managed these changes, how they’ve reignited the passion in their marriages – or in some cases moved on from bad relationships – and rediscovered old talents and interests. Aronsson’s stories provide hope and guidance to parents whose nest is about to be empty and offers hope to parents whose baby birds have already spread their wings and taken flight. PUB: Life After 50 Magazine Color: CMYK

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A Fragile Trust - New Documentary, PBS – Premieres Monday May 5 at 10 p.m. (check local listings) This new documentary tells the shocking story of Jayson Blair, the most infamous serial plagiarist of our time, and how he unleashed the massive scandal that rocked The New York Times and the entire world of journalism. This film features an exclusive and revealing interview with Blair himself – the first time he has spoken about his actions at the Times since the weeks immediately following the scandal. In addition, Blair provides unprecedented access to his notes, reflections, and even his private e-mail account from the months leading up to the discovery of the scandal. With more and more publications moving to online-only formats and with plagiarism on the rise, this cautionary tale about the slippery slope of ethical transgressions is more relevant than ever.

Tuned In To What’s On

Penny Dreadful – New Series, Showtime – Premieres Sunday May 11 at 10 p.m. This horror/thriller series features a roster of classic creepy characters, including the Frankenstein monster, Dorian Gray and Dracula to name a few, and weaves together the classic original stories with more contemporary themes. “Penny Dreadful” has re-imagined some of literature’s most terrifying and iconic characters and set them in Victorian England for their murder and mayhem. The series features a star-studded cast including Josh Hartnett, Timothy Dalton, Eva Green, Reeve Carney, Rory Kinnear, Billie Piper and Harry Treadaway.

Rosemary’s Baby – New Miniseries, NBC It’s hard to imagine anyone topping Roman Polanski’s classic 1968 film, but NBC is going to try. Based on Ira Levin’s classic horror novel, “Rosemary’s Baby” centers on a young married couple who escape New York and move to Paris with hopes of leaving their sad past behind. After a series of unfortunate events, Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse are presented with an offer they can’t refuse – an apartment at the most prestigious address in the city. The problem is, it comes with a haunted past and an immeasurable price, especially as Rosemary becomes increasingly suspicious that both her husband and their neighbors have ulterior motives for her child. This miniseries stars Zoe Saldana, Patrick J. Adams, Jason Isaacs and Carole Bouquet.

The World Wars – New Three-Part Documentary, History Channel – Premieres Monday May 26 at 9 p.m. (airs three consecutive nights)

The Best In May Television Viewing By Sandi Berg

This special six-hour series tells the story of three devastating decades of war through the eyes of the powerful men who held the fate of humankind in their hands. The series examines the two wars as one contiguous timeline starting in 1914 and concluding in 1945 with these unique individuals coming of age in World War I before ultimately making some of the toughest decisions in the history of mankind in World War II. The stories will be told using stateof-the-art computer-generated images, dramatic scenes and contributors such as Senator John McCain, General Colin Powell, Italian Prime Minister Mario Monti, British Prime Minister John Major and more.

Crossbones - New Series, NBC Premieres Friday May 30 at 10 p.m. From executive producers Walter F. Parkes and Laurie MacDonald, this series has been created by Neil Cross, creator of the wonderful British series “Luther,” and whose television writing credits also include “Spooks” and “Doctor Who.” Screen legend John Malkovich stars in this fictionalization of the life of the infamous pirate Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, set in and around the island of New Providence in The Bahamas in 1715 where he reigns over a rogue nation of thieves, outlaws and miscreant sailors. Part shantytown and part marauder’s paradise, this is a place like no other on Earth – and a mounting threat to international commerce.

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 25

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81jumps on his 80th birthday. What’s your story? You read that right. On Pat’s 80th birthday, he jumped out of an airplane 81 times. He says he’d have done more but the weather was coming in. Now at 82, he’s far from slowing down, still skydives and travels extensively with his wife. Even though he’s made his funeral plans, he’s a long way from needing them. See more of Pat’s story at www.LegacyRoseHills.com Every story is special and deserves to be remembered beautifully. That’s why Rose Hills features the most widely varied selection of property anywhere, reflecting the singularity of every life. Burial or cremation. Indoor or outdoor. For every faith, heritage and background. Surrounded by natural and architectural splendor. Whatever your own story, whatever your legacy, it deserves to be honored at Rose Hills. Call 800 328-PLAN or visit us at www.LegacyRoseHills.com

Pat Moorehead 82 Years Old Ret. Firefighter Skydiver 26 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

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WHERE DO I INVEST MY MONEY NOW? Many investors are trying to make sense from the stock market’s continued highs and the US economy’s lack luster performance. With debt and unemployment still at all time highs, GDP continuing to drop, and inflation beginning to knock on our door, where do you turn to invest your retirement. . You definitely have to own property as it is the best hedge against inflation and currency devaluation, but you also need liquidity as well. One must find a liquid investment that pays better than a 0.25% bank money market so your portfolio does not lose value based on time value of money and the constant devaluation of our currency. One solution for a safe and guaranteed investment is PMF Investment Notes which pays 7.39% interest per year. These notes are short term notes of 13-months in duration, and are very safe because they are invested in “corporate accounts receivables” from major companies like CostCo, Walmart and many other credit worthy companies. PMF Investment Notes have been paying investors for over 20 years without ever losing a penny for our note holders. Best of all, the interest is paid monthly. To learn more about this secure investment that pays 7.4%, please visit www.PMFbancorp.com/PMFnotes. By: Stephen Perl, MS, MBA and President of PMF Investment Corp. (stephen@ PMFbancorp.com) May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 27

Have you heard noises in your attic or walls? Chances are its rats! Rats can squeeze through a hole the size of a quarter. Due to imperfections in construction, rats can find their way into your attic or crawlspace with ease. Cutting trees off the roof, setting traps, and even putting out poison are only Band-Aids and do not solve the problem. Some facts about rats; according to the Center for Disease Contol, rodents, their droppings and urine left behind can contribute to and cause allergies, asthma, bacterial diseases, they also carry mites and fleas. Rats can reach sexual maturity at only five weeks, A female rat is in heat every four to five days, and she will produce six to thirteen rats per litter. With over 16 years of experience, All Pest Pros will professionally solve your rat problem. We will trap and remove all rats, seal all rat entry points from the foundation, all the way up to the roof lines. Only construction grade materials will be used (no steel wool or expandable foam). If your insulation is contaminated, we will disinfect, deodorize, remove attic insulation, HEPAVAC rat droppings and install new Greenfiber insulation up to or above recommended levels. All of our work is done in house. We do not sub contract. There will be one charge without the need for monthly visits or charges. Your home will be 100% guaranteed free of rats. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t waste your hard earned money with monthly rat services and rat poison. Call All Pest Pros!!

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If you think you have termites, call today for a free detailed inspection. All Pest Pros will provide a treatment insurance plan to exterminate any active termites found during inspection throughout your home. Depending on the construction of your home, we will treat any exposed attic and garage framing, soil and framing under your home, and any exposed soil at perimeter of the structure. This will create a residual termite barrier to help prevent future Drywood and Subterranean termite infestations. This preventative treatment may last up to three years. Unlike fumigation, our treatments come with a full home warranty for both Drywood and Subterranean termites. Most of the time, our work is done without the inconvenience of packing food, boarding pets, roof and plant damage, and vacating for 2-3 days. If fumigation is not required, you and your pets may be present during the entire process. We can also make any necessary repairs that termites or fungus may have caused with minimal invasiveness. No job is too big or too small!

Living A Life That Is Really Alive Singer and songwriter Lani Hall Alpert on finding your true voice and self, overcoming challenges and living life to the fullest By David Laurell

Photo by Chris Adjani

ecord executive Jerry Moss, who, along with one of the world’s greatest trumpeters and Tijuana Brass bandleader Herb Alpert, founded A&M Records, calls “Emotional Memoirs & Short Stories” (Lani Hall Alpert, 2012), a book by his former partner’s wife – singer and songwriter Lani Hall Alpert – “An extraordinary and revealing journey, packed with passion and drama, driven by beguiling imagination.” Her book, a blend of fiction and non-fiction that illuminates the ever-shifting changes and challenges that face women throughout their lives, has also been lauded by the legendary Brazilian musician Sérgio Mendes, who discovered her and first brought the then-19-year-old Lani into public consciousness by selecting her to be the lead female vocalist for his groundbreaking band, Brasil ’66, which fused pop, bossa nova and light jazz. “Lani’s storytelling, like herself, is very sensitive, passionate and truly original,” says Mendes. When asked where that dramatic flair, originality and passion stemmed from, Lani doesn’t hesitate for even a second as she gives credit to her father. “He had a great appreciation of music and was always singing – mostly in our kitchen,” she says with a laugh. “He had a deep love of opera and classical music. When I was a little girl, I would come home from school and he would have his albums on. He would tell me what the music expressed to him – what stories it brought about in his imagination. He was so passionate and vivid in his descriptions, I would end up crying. Listening to him was so touching and moving. He really brought music to life for me.”

the Look of Life

After 50

A Chi Town Girl’s South American Soul

Born to parents of Polish and Russian descent, Lani grew up in Chicago during a time when blues and jazz dominated the Windy City’s musical landscape. And yet, it was the music of a country 4,500 miles to the south of Chicagoland that captivated the teenager. “In the 1960s, Stan Getz brought Antônio Carlos Jobim and João Gilberto and the music of Brazil to the United States,” says Lani. “He did an album with them that included songs like ‘Desaﬁnado’ and ‘The Girl form Ipanema.’ I loved that album. I was very attracted to their gorgeous melodies and I loved the sound of the Portuguese language. It had this rhythm that was so unique and infectious. It was music to my ears and really got into my soul.” With a love for music that blossomed into a talent, Lani had begun to perform in small clubs by the time she was in her mid-teens. “I had gotten very involved in the local Chicago music scene and I remember hearing Sérgio Mendes. That was the music I loved and, ultimately, when he was on the search for a female lead singer for Brasil ’66, he found me and offered me the incredible opportunity to join them.” Shortly after she began performing and touring with Sérgio Mendes and Brasil ’66, the group was granted an audition with A&M Records, whose North La Brea Avenue headquarters in Los Angeles once served as the Charlie Chaplin Studios. “We got to sing for Herb Alpert and Jerry Moss – the ‘A’ and the ‘M’ of A& M Records,” she recalls. “They liked us and offered us a contract. Herb was especially enamored with our sound, so much so that he asked us to be his opening act. So we went from playing these small little clubs in Chicago to, bang, overnight playing all around the world in front of 20,000 people.”

The Spark Of Romance Flames

In awe of Alpert’s talent, both as a performer and a producer, Lani and her fellow performers spent untold hours with him on the road and in the studio. “I was 19 and I called him ‘Mr. Alpert’ for a year before we started to become friends,” she remembers with a girlish giggle. “We had all been spending a lot of time together and he and I began to talk and then it started to develop into something else.” As the years went by and the romantic spark between Alpert and Lani went from spark to flame, the time came that Alpert asked her if she would be willing to quit touring. “That was in my fifth year with Brasil ‘66,” she recalls. “Herb said he wanted us to be able to really spend time together off the road and see if we could make a go of our relationship. That was a very difficult decision for me, because I was supporting my parents and putting my brother through school and really needed the income. But I had about three years of savings built up and I felt we

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 29

should see how things may work out. I figured if they didn’t work out, I would just start touring again. But it did work out and we just celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary last December.” Along with establishing a successful marriage, Lani also branched out as a successful songwriter and solo artist who went on to record more than 20 albums, the title song for the 1985 James Bond film, “Never Say Never Again,” and win a 1985 Grammy Award for Best Latin Pop Performance album, “Es Fácil Amar.”

A Book Is Born

Having written short stories for over 30 years, 2012 saw Lani take on a new challenge – writing a book. “I never set out to do a book,” she explains. I had been writing short stories and journaling for many years, but I never gave any thought to doing anything with them. I simply wrote them for the same reason I sing – to express myself and clear what was going on in my head at any given time. Writing stories was totally a self-expression thing for me.” Lani says that while the writing of a book was never in her plans, the idea to do so stemmed from a friend who was sick and recovering from surgery. “She was bored and didn’t know what to do with herself,” Lani reveals. “I sent her a story about my being sick and she was so grateful and encouraged by it that she asked me to send her more of my stories. So I just kept digging through my drawers and sending her more stories. Then, one day, she told me I had the workings of a book. She was so encouraging that I started looking at my stories in a different way and began to think that maybe I did have a book.” Pondering how to best present her stories, Lani decided to write a narrative that would serve as a bridge to tie them together. “Once I came up with that concept, it clinched it for me to move forward and do the book.” In what would become her debut tome, “Emotional Memories & Short Stories,” Lani dug deeply into her own life as well as into the emotions, challenges, fears, psyches and hidden yearnings of women she both actually knew and created in her mind. Presented with an ebb and flow – sometimes dreamy and idyllic, sometimes nightmarish with violence – the constant thread that runs through her stories emphasizes the inner strength that women possess. Blended together by her narrative, each story tells a vivid tale of the unending shift between the inner darkness and light that most every woman deals with at some point during her life’s journey. They are stories that are in some cases disturbing, but are ultimately uplifting as the truth of what it is to be a strong woman is illuminated. One of the most powerful chapters in her book is the last, entitled “Inland,” in which she addresses her long struggle with the Epstein-Barr virus. “That story was what inspired my friend to suggest I write the book,” she says. “It is a very personal story in which I address my health going downhill because of breast implants I had done years earlier.”

With her immune system failing her, Lani went from doctor to doctor, who couldn’t make a diagnosis of what was wrong with her, until she was ultimately diagnosed with EpsteinBarr. “This was in the early 1980s and back then, the doctors didn’t really understand this virus and its connection to the breast implants,” Lani explains. “They didn’t know what to do for me. So I started looking to the alternative medical world and was going to all sorts of doctors who were giving me all sorts of advice. Finally, I got to a point where I came to realize that no doctor was going to be of help to me and that I needed to decide for myself what was the best thing to do to try and regain Photo by Kevin Sarnoff my health. That was when I went to the one person who could really give me the best advice – myself. When I did that – started asking myself questions – that’s when I began to get answers. My story ‘Inland’ is about how I found my own inner voice and truth and then, through those things, regained my health. That is what my book is about – women who have lost their way and are in need of redefining themselves to themselves. It’s about women who have gotten to a point in their lives when what had been working for them was no longer working and they didn’t know why or what to do about it. The one thing they did know is that they needed to make a change, and the one thing they learned is that they had the power within themselves to do that.”

Life Today As A Wife, Mother And Grandmother

Today, with her health restored, Lani is a grandmother five times over. It is a role she embraces with great passion. “My grandchildren are the most wonderful creatures I have ever been around,” she unabashedly gushes. “I have so much fun being around them, and I also love seeing how my daughter has adapted into being such a wonderful mother. She is very relaxed with her children, which she didn’t get from me,” she adds with a laugh. As for her other role – that of a wife – she says the secret to a long and happy marriage comes by way of communication and acceptance. “If you are with someone whom you want to change, that’s a real red flag – it’s the kiss of death in a relationship,” she opines. “You can’t change anyone except yourself. With Herb, there was nothing I ever wanted to change about him. He has a tremendous amount of kindness and, honestly, I didn’t trust that at first, because I had never experienced that kind of kindness. I kept thinking that, sooner or later, his true colors would show. Well, I’m still waiting. He is just a very kind person who accepts me and I accept him. I also think that one of the gifts of our relationship is that we have grown together over the years. I have seen many couples who have grown apart. We have grown together.”

Being Alive Is What It’s All About

Lani, who will turn 69 this fall, says she never gives any thought to her age. “At some point in my life, I can’t really remember when it was, I could no longer relate to the numbers,” she laughs. “Age is just this arbitrary number that I don’t have any connection with. It could as well be 108 or 23; it doesn’t matter. The number isn’t me. I don’t connect to an age at all. To me, it’s all about how you connect to yourself, and those you love, and your work, and how excited you are about your life – what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. Life has nothing to do with the number of years we have lived. It’s about doing what you want to do and doing everything you possibly can to make yourself – to allow yourself – to be happy and enjoy life. It’s about creating a day-to-day life in which you are really alive.” Photo by Phillipp Rittermann

30 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

For more information on Lani Hall Alpert and to order her book, click on www. lanihall.herbalpertpresents.com.

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Want In On A Secret? If you have thinning or limp hair, Top Secret Haircessory can change your look and life easily and affordably Story by Max Andrews • Photos by David Laurell

hat woman hasn’t seen an actress or model on a television show, in a film, at an awards ceremony or in a magazine and wished she had hair as thick, full and beautiful as hers? While many of these magnificently-maned beauties are young, some are well into their 50s and older, which causes many of the women who are envious of the terrificallytressed to think: “I didn’t have hair that fantastic when I was in my teens and 20s!” Wanna be let in on a secret? They didn’t either! While it is nothing new for those in the public eye to enhance the look and volume of their hair, this has been traditionally accomplished with wigs that could be hot, uncomfortable and detectable, or with bonded or weaved hair extensions that can damage existing hair, require many hours in a salon, require regular maintenance and come with prices that can push closer to a monthly mortgage payment than a monthly car payment. Knowing of both the desires and challenges many women have when it comes to their hair, stylist Denise Rossouw found herself lying awake at night trying to come up with a successful solution for her clients. As a professional in the hairstyling industry who has worked on cruise ships, film and television sets, and with a clientele of extremely demanding women at a Beverly Hills salon, Rossouw became

32 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

determined to create a product that would help her clients, which included a “who’s who” of Hollywood celebrities, as well as the 40 million-plus American women from all walks of life who are dealing with thinning hair due to genetics, medications, heath problems or aging. “I initially created some clip-on top pieces and extensions while I was working on various movie and television productions,” says Rossouw. “Every time I used one, I would receive an overwhelmingly positive response from actresses who ranged from those who were simply having a bad hair day to those who were really in need of added volume or length. That was when it hit me that there was nothing like this on the market. I knew it really worked and that I should be making it available to a traditional clientele.” Encouraged by a well-known actress who told her she was more of a magician than a beautician, Ros-

souw turned, in earnest, to creating her company – Top Secret Haircessory. The first to design a piece that was “easy-on-easyoff” and would cause no damage to the existing hair, Rossouw says her pieces, which take only seconds to securely apply, don’t just create a new look for women, but also a new outlook on life. “The moment I put a piece on a client for the first time, it’s a total wow factor,” she says. “I’ve had people become very emotional. They giggle, gasp, cry – you name it.” Life After 50 recently spent a day with Denise Rossouw at the Studio City-based headquarters of Top Secret Haircessory. Along with giving a demonstration of just how fast and easy her hair-enhancement systems can be applied, she also answered questions about the full line of products she makes available and their prices.

Life After 50 (LA50): You are adamant that you do not make or sell wigs. What exactly do clients get when they come to you?

dia and Russia and the pieces are all hand-made. We don’t use any chemicals on our hair, but there are some trade secrets as to how we prepare it.

Denise Rossouw (DR): We offer a full range of non-permanent hairpieces and extensions that are much better than wigs. I created the line of Top Secret Haircessory products because I didn’t like the way wigs looked. As someone who has done hair extension work for over 25 years, I learned that as long as a woman has hair, you can create a much more natural and undetectable look by incorporating a piece into her existing hair.

LA50: How do you do custom coloring? DR: We use a tone-on-tone process and an Italian color line with low ammonia that will last for nine months to a year. The color pigment is really strong and we recommend it be washed once a month. We also offer our own product line for washing. I created our shampoo by looking into what were the best shampoos out there and found a survey that had been done by “The Today Show” that named two of the best shampoos on the market. I took those top two products and we worked on it for over a year to come up with a really great product. We even provide our clients with a DVD that explains how to care for their pieces.

DR: You can wear it anywhere with conﬁdence. It will be completely secure and undetectable in the wind and you could even sleep in it, although we don’t recommend that. We also recommend that clients do not wear them when they go swimming. I mean, you could, but the chlorine isn’t good for it and if you did swim in it, you would have to have it

LA50: How is the piece actually attached? DR: It is very easy to apply and before anyone leaves here, I walk them through the process step- by-step. It’s a four-clip attachment system that can be applied in a matter of seconds. Unlike bonds or weaves, there is no shaving or need for tightening. LA50: Tell us who would be the perfect candidate for your product line. DR: A woman, or even a man, who has thin or limp hair or hair that never grows to the length they want. I get many women who have tried hair transplants that have not worked and extensions that they have found to be uncomfortable, detectable to the touch and very expensive. With Top Secret, you can add highlights, color and volume to your existing hair without any damage or long-term commitment. It’s affordable and undetectable from even inches away. We offer our brand in seven different lengths, they come in 27 colors and then we custom highlight them. We use a revolutionary micro-mesh base that is so lightweight and breathable, you would never know you have it on and our designs give a woman many style options to choose from. It all starts with an initial consultation to see what a client is looking for – volume, length, bangs. We go through all the different options and try on a few pieces. I won’t ever sell something that a client would be unhappy with or never wear. I would not feel comfortable taking someone’s money unless they were 100 percent satisﬁed with the way it looks and feels. LA50: How is the system made? DR: Top Secret is made of the best quality human hair available. The hair comes from In-

LA50: How active could someone be when wearing one of your pieces?

restyled. For the really active woman we have ponytail crown pieces that can be used at the beach or during a workout at the gym. LA50: You know there will be many Life After 50 readers who will be intrigued by your product but may think it is price prohibitive for them. Can you tell us about prices? DR: I’m very up front and open in discussing our prices, because our products are affordable to anyone. They are affordable because, unlike bonds or weaves, our pieces last. It is not unusual for one of our pieces to last for many years depending on how much they are used and how they are cared for. I know people who have been using the same piece for 10 years. Our pieces start as low as $250 and then go up from there, depending on what sort of customized work a client wants or needs. You can actually save money by using one of our pieces, because you won’t have to have your roots done so often. When you start getting that white streak down the middle, all you have to do is pop on one of our pieces and it will cover the roots. Without having to do touch-ups as often, you could easily pay for one of our pieces in a year or less with those savings. I am also very sensitive to the fact that some women, as they get older, have a set income but still want to look great and need hair. Knowing that, I have created a smaller piece that is perfect for a woman whose hair is thinning. I can assure anyone who walks in our door, we can make a piece that is affordable to them. We even offer a payment plan. We are dedicated to making it work for anyone.

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 33

That must be very gratifying.

LA50: Does a woman have to come into your Studio City facility to have a piece custom-ﬁtted and created

DR: It is my purpose in life and more rewarding than you can ever imagine. When a woman can just pop some hair on in the morning or before she goes out in the evening and it immediately makes her look younger, it changes everything about the way she feels about herself. I also want our clients to know that we will never offer them anything other than the highest quality and value and that we are always there for them. A lot of women just don’t know there is such a simple and affordable solution available for them. I have seen our pieces completely change women’s lives – women who have not been going out of their homes if it was windy or who have been an emotional wreck because other hair replacements or enhancements haven’t worked. That’s the greatest thing about what we offer – it really works! ª

DR: They don’t have to. We have been doing this for a long time and have it down to a science. We work with people from all over the country. All they need to do is send or e-mail us photos of themselves in natural lighting from the front, side and back. We are completely confidential, so we would never use those photos for anything except to create a piece and then they are deleted. We then arrange for a consultation by phone to find out a client’s specific issues and what they are looking for. From there, we would have them take some measurements depending on what they want and e-mail them to us. We also have signature salons in almost every state that carry our pieces and have stylists in those salons who are educated in using them.

For more information or to set up a free consultation with Denise Rossouw and her staff, you can visit Top Secret Haircessory at 12436 Ventura Boulevard in Studio City, call (866) 403-7920 or click on www.TopSecretHair.com.

LA50: You have really created a product that has changed people’s lives.

RINGING EARS? AUDITONE IS SEEKING 25 ADULTS WITH HEAD NOISE If you have ringing ears when an external sound is not present, you are needed to participate in a special program called the “5-Day Challenge”, sponsored by Auditone Hearing Aids. We are seeking 25 adults with tinnitus to evaluate a tiny specialized device from Hansaton that can be programmed to minimize or reduce the perception of head noise. Consultations will be performed at no charge for qualified callers. Participants will try the new technology from Hansaton in-home and will be asked to rate improvement of tinnitus after 5 days. Anyone who is bothered by head noise is qualified to take advantage of this opportunity. Open enrollment is for a limited time only: Monday, April 7th through Wednesday, April 30th, 2014.

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Insight into current men’s issues including nutrition, sports and mental and prostrate health

34 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

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Let’s Get OUt A Preview of Upcoming Events for April/May By Claire Yezbak Fadden

LA/Ventura

May/June 2014 to stay indefinitely. Odyssey Theatre, 2055 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Dates vary through June 15. $25-$30. (310) 477-2055 x2. odysseytheatre.com. SATURDAY, MAY 17 WHITE MARRIAGE Ron Sossi directs a surreal, erotic comingof-age fairytale set in Poland circa 1890 that follows a young girl’s sweet, poignant emergence into womanhood and her frightened resistance to a pre-arranged marriage. Chekhov meets Fellini in an enchanting tragicomedy brimming with wit and charm and large dose of the magical by Tadeusz Rózewicz, one of Poland’s most distinguished modern playwrights. Odyssey Theatre, 2055 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Dates vary through June 1. $25-$30. (310) 477-2055 x2. odysseytheatre.com.

SATURDAY, MAY 17 CALIFORNIA STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL

This fruitful gala boasts strawberries in every way. The festival features concert performances, the Strawberry Promenade with celebrity cooking demonstrations, more than 250 craft booths and Strawberryland For Kids. The “build your own” strawberry shortcake tent lets you control your strawberry bliss as you pile on the goodness. Strawberry Meadows of College Park, 3250 S. Rose Ave., Oxnard. $8- $12. Also May 18. (888) 288-9242. strawberry-fest.org.

eNteRtAINMeNt THURSDAY, MAY 15 CALIFORNIA STATE BUTTON SOCIETY ANNUAL SHOW Button dealers from throughout the country display a variety of buttons, including Victorian, enamel, celluloid, railroad, military, studio and designer buttons. Town and Country Resort and Convention Center, 500 Hotel Circle North, San Diego. Through May 18. Free. cabutton.org UNORGANIZED CRIME Gino Sicuso is a diminishing Mafioso, a forgotten brother and son, banished to Detroit. He’s been relocated because he can’t commit murder, and hasn’t had direct communication with any of his family members in years. His wife, Rosie, has Gino on the road to redemption with the hope that he can mentally turn his life around. Having no such trouble with maiming, beating and killing is Gino’s older brother, Sal (Chazz Palminteri), a brutal mobster who unexpectedly shows up at his door. Elephant Theatre, 1076 N. Lillian Way, Hollywood. Thur.Sun. through May 25. $35. (800) 595-4849. unorganizedcrimetheplay.com. LETTERS FROM ZORA Through the dramatization of personal letters, the play explores views on integration,

36 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

segregation and social justice showcasing a life that was filled with artistic triumphs as well as abject poverty and self-doubt. Pasadena Playhouse, 39 S. El Molino Ave., Pasadena. Through May 17. $40-$100. (626) 356-7529. pasadenaplayhouse.org. TARTUFFE A fox in the hen house; a rat is in the cellar; a snake is in the grass – Oh, Monsieur Tartuffe. The world’s most famous scoundrel’s story, Tartuffe is comic genius Molière’s tale of naiveté, religious hypocrisy and the triumphant victory of good over evil – and all in rhyming couplets. A Noise Within, 3352 East Foothill Blvd., Pasadena. Wed.-Sun. through May 24. $34-$40. (626) 356-3100. anoisewithin.org. COME BACK, LITLE SHEBA At a time when the pace of American life was not so rapid, a middle-aged couple, awash in what-ifs and drifting apart, takes in a young, vivacious college boarder, creating an explosive catalyst for change. A Noise Within, 3352 East Foothill Blvd., Pasadena. Wed.-Sun. through May 17. $34-$40. (626) 356-3100. anoisewithin.org.

THE TALLEST TREE IN THE FOREST Daniel Beaty chronicles Paul Robeson’s remarkable life as an artist and political activist in an unforgettable theatrical biography. Beaty fills the theatre with the words, songs and dreams of a man who achieved so much as an All-American linebacker, valedictorian, Columbia Law School graduate and finally an internationally renowned star of stage and screen, and then he risked it all as a civil rights activist. Center Theatre Group/Mark Taper Forum At the Music Center, 135 N. Grand Ave., Los Angeles. Through May 25. $20-$70. (213) 628-2772. centertheatregroup.org.

and, ultimately, death. An all-Australian cast brings Timothy Conigrave’s story, a celebration that speaks across generations, sexual preferences and cultures, to life. The Matrix Theatre, 7657 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles. Thurs.-Sun. through June 29. $35. (323) 9607735. plays411.com/holdingtheman. FAT PIG Neil LaBute’s stingingly witty romance about love in the modern age of body image and peer pressure. It shares the story of Tom, a young career guy, who hits it off with Helen, a bright, sexy woman who happens to be plus-sized. As he reluctantly finds himself falling in love, Tom’s colleagues are brutal in their assessment of his new mate. Hudson Mainstage, 6539 Santa Monica Blvd., Los Angeles. Fri.-Sun. through June 1. $30; (323) 960-7788. plays411.com/fatpig.

FRIDAY, MAY 16

BEYOND SIGHT Blind actor Robert Smith heads the cast of this world premiere musical about a soldier who returns to the U.S. after losing his sight to an IED in Afghanistan. Stella Adler Theatre, 6773 Hollywood Blvd., 2nd Floor, Hollywood. Fri.Sun. through May 25. $30. (310) 902-8220. creoutreach.org.

HOLDING THE MAN A breathtakingly honest, achingly funny account of a 15-year relationship that weathered disapproval, separation, temptation

A DELICATE BALANCE Agnes and Tobias’s precarious suburban lives are shaken when they find themselves hosting unexpected houseguests who plan

BUG FAIR Learn about the world of arthropods and arachnids at the biggest bug festival in North America. Activities include live animal presentations, citizen science projects, crafts, live music and tastings from some of the greatest bug chefs in the world. There’s an opportunity to buy bugs and bug merchandise from more than 70 vendors and see outstanding collections. Natural History Museum, Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Also May 18. $9-$12. (213) 763-3466. nhm.org/bugfair. THE OAK RIDGE BOYS Theirs is one of the most distinctive and recognizable sounds in the music industry. Their four-part harmonies and upbeat songs have spawned dozens of country hits. La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts, 14900 La Mirada Blvd., La Mirada. Ticket prices vary. (562) 944-9801, (714) 994-6310. lamiradatheatre.com.

CALENDAR

May/June 2014 LA/Ventura Blvds. and Duquesne Ave., Culver City. downtownculvercity.com.

Angeles. Thurs.-Sun. through July 20. $18$25. (213) 389-3856. bootlegtheater.org.

GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Ergo Musica. First Baptist Church of Glendale, 209 N. Louise St., Glendale. Free. (818) 2422113. glendalenoonconcerts.blogspot.com.

JUNE

THURSDAY, MAY 22 WILSON PHILLIPS The four-time Grammy-nominated duo perform songs from their new album “Dedicated,” which features covers of the Beach Boys and The Mamas and the Papas, as well as performing their own greatest hits including “Release Me,” and “Hold On.” Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza, Fred Kavli Theatre, 2100 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks. $35-$65. (805) 449-2787. toaks.org. FRIDAY, MAY 23 THE GUARDSMAN Can a jealous actor fool his cheating wife? Enjoy a new adaptation of Hungarian playwright Ferenc Molnár’s comic masterpiece about love, fidelity and illusion. NoHo Arts Center, 11136 Magnolia Blvd., North Hollywood, CA, 91601, Fri.-Sun. through June 22. $25. (323) 960-4418. plays411.com/ guardsman. FRIDAY, MAY 30

SUNDAY, MAY 25 ROSE FESTIVAL

Everything is coming up roses at this festival, celebrating this favorite flower. Activities include a workshop on the best way to care for plants to selecting new varieties to try at home; a human vase rose display; a rose design demonstration and a rose garden walk. Descanso Gardens, 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. $6-$9. (818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org.

SUNDAY, MAY 18 THE SEAGULL Santa Paula Theater Center, 125 S. Seventh St., Santa Paula. Through May 25. $18-$20. (805) 525-4645. santapaulatheatercenter.org. HOOKED Whether we like it or not, our lives are about transformation. Bailey Mason was a hooker, a prostitute, a lady of the night, a sleaze bag. Turning tricks for money? What? Who? Me? So how do you deal with all the negative thrown your way and turn it into something positive and life-affirming? Witness the transformative power of love which cannot be truly realized without having seen the darker side first. Spiritworks Center, 260 N. Pass Ave., Burbank. Sundays through June 29. $20. (818) 6237408. hookedagain.net. WESTERN MUSIC ASSOCIATION JAM Musicians and cowboy poets perform stories and songs of the romantic days of the Old West, contemporary music of the American West and songs of the open range and the American cowboy. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

TUESDAY, MAY 20 PORGY AND BESS The classic story is set in fabled Catfish Row, where the beautiful Bess struggles to break free from her scandalous past, and the only one who can rescue her is the courageous Porgy. Features legendary songs such as “Summertime,” “It Ain’t Necessarily So” and “I Got Plenty of Nothing.” Center Theatre Group/Ahmanson Theatre at the Music Center, 135 N. Grand Ave., Los Angeles. Tues.-Sun. through June 1. $20-$120. (213) 972-4400, centertheatregroup.org. WEDNESDAY, MAY 21 THIRD WEDNESDAY Neighborhood-Wide Happy Hour. Drink and food specials, free samples and discounts from over 30 area bars, restaurants and retail establishments. Beat the traffic by riding the rails to the Expo Line Culver City Station. Culver City’s downtown area is Southern California’s best kept secret, featuring a wonderful mix of historic buildings, boutiques, theaters, galleries and unique restaurants opening on to tree-lined streets. Downtown Culver City, between Culver and Washington

DORIAN’S DESCENT This musical, adapted from Oscar Wilde’s legendary novel “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” personifies the darkest depths of human emotion and contemplates life’s pleasures and risks. DOMA Theatre Co. and Requiem Mass Productions @ The MET Theatre, 1089 N. Oxford Ave., Los Angeles. Fri.-Sun. through July 20. $20-$35. (323) 802-4990. domatheatre.com. LES MISERABLES Based on Victor Hugo’s classic novel, this is an epic and uplifting story about the survival of the human spirit. The magnificent score includes: “I Dreamed a Dream,” “On My Own,” “Stars,” “Bring Him Home,” “Do You Hear the People Sing?,” “One Day More,” “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” and “Master of the House.” La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts, 14900 La Mirada Blvd., La Mirada. Through June 22. Ticket prices vary. (562) 944-9801, (714) 994-6310. lamiradatheatre.com. SATURDAY, MAY 31 BACKYARD Mickey Birnbaum’s wild, contemporary dramedy about boys and girls and parents and children set on the Mexican border against the subculture of backyard wrestling. The Echo Theater Company @ Atwater Village Theatre, 3269 Casitas Ave, Atwater Village. Fri.-Sun. through July 6. $20-$25. (310) 307-3753. echotheatercompany.com. DATES AND NUTS A romantic comedy about an animal rights activist living in Brooklyn, searching for Mr. Right in the dating jungle of New York City. Bootleg Theater, 2220 Beverly Blvd., Los

SUNDAY, JUNE 1 FREE FIRST SUNDAY Free admission to the Museum of Ventura County including its galleries and any special events. Museum of Ventura County, 100 East Main St., Ventura. First Sunday of each month. (805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org. TUESDAY, JUNE 3 STONEFACE Chronicled through the lens of his own silent films, the play recreates some of Buster Keaton’s most memorable gags live on stage, capturing the legend of a bygone era and telling the tale of the redemption of one of Hollywood’s greatest performers. Pasadena Playhouse, 39 S. El Molino Ave., Pasadena. Tues.-Sun. through June 29. Prices vary. (626) 356-7529. pasadenaplayhouse.org. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4 GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Los Angeles Horn Trio. First Baptist Church of Glendale, 209 N. Louise St., Glendale. Free. (818) 242-2113. glendalenoonconcerts. blogspot.com. THURSDAY, JUNE 5 THE CURSE OF OEDIPUS The ill-fated history of the Royal House of Thebes – Oedipus, the king; his wife, Jocasta; her brother, Creon; and all of their respective cursed offspring – preoccupied the great writers of ancient Greece and Rome, who recounted their fortunes over and over again in many versions. This performance distills the legends of three generations into a single evening of drama focused on the figure of Oedipus. The Antaeus Company, 5112 Lankershim Blvd., N. Hollywood. Thurs.-Sun. through July 27. $30-$34. (818) 506-1983. antaeus.org. FRIDAY, JUNE 6 OTHER DESERT CITIES In Jon Robin Baitz’s funny, explosive and entertaining look at unruly family politics, the manicured life of an actor-turnedpolitician and his impeccable wife is upset when relatives arrive at their Palm Springs home for the holidays — including daughter Brooke who’s about to publish a tell-all memoir. International City Theatre, Long Beach Performing Arts Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach. Thurs.-Sun. through June 29. $32-$47. (562) 436-4610. internationalcitytheatre.org. SATURDAY, JUNE 7 LEAR Ellen Geer takes on the title role in a genderreversed Lear for the 21st century, a daring new production that sees Lear divide her kingdom and test the loyalty of her three sons. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N.

May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 37

CALENDAR

May/June 2014 LA/Ventura Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Oct 4. $10-$37. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com. GREEN THUMB 101: PRUNING Pruning is an essential skill to keep plants trim and healthy. Bring your gloves and pruners for hands-on experience. Beginning gardeners welcome. Reservation deadline: June 1. Descanso Gardens, 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. $15-$20. (818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org.

and enjoy special interactive experiences, including the new steelhead exhibit, the all-new bonnethead shark and cownose ray touchpool in Shark Lagoon.Aquarium of the Pacific, 100 Aquarium Way, Long Beach. $26-$29. Through Sept. 1. (562) 590-3100. aquariumofpacific.org.

SUNDAY, JUNE 8

SILENT FILM The night opens with Charlie Chaplin’s “Kid Auto Races” at Venice (1914) and features Charlie Chaplin’s “Modern Times” (1936). Both scores are performed live by Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra and conducted by Timothy Brock. UCLA campus, Royce Hall, 752 Charles East Young Dr., Los Angeles. $40-$90. (213) 622-7001 x 1. laco.org/events/221/ A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM The most magical outdoor setting in Los Angeles is once again transformed into an enchanted forest inhabited by lovers both fairy and human. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Oct 4. $10-$37. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com. THURSDAY, JUNE 12 THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES James Marsters and Simon Helberg star in this fresh take on Sherlock Holmes’ most baffling case. The sole surviving Baskerville returns from Canada to fight the ancient curse of a supernatural hound, adjust to the strange class system and fall in love with his beautiful neighbor. L.A. Theatre Works at the James Bridges Theater, UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television, 235 Charles E. Young Dr., Los Angeles. Through June 15. $15-$50. (310) 827-0889. latw.org. DANCIN’ THROUGH THE DECADES California Dance Theatre’s annual school performance. Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza, Fred Kavli Theatre, 2100 Thousand Oaks Blvd., Thousand Oaks. Also June 14-15. $24-$26. (805) 449-2787. toaks.org.

EXHIBITIONS FRIDAY, MAY 23 SUMMER OF WONDER Get closer to the animals than ever before,

38 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

BASEBALL! THE EXHIBITION This 12,000-square-foot exhibit features some of the most rare, historic and iconic baseball pieces from the largest known private collection of baseball memorabilia, including extraordinary artifacts from Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Lou Gehrig, Jackie Robinson, the Los Angeles Dodgers, and scores of other historically important players and organizations. The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum, 40 Presidential Dr., Simi Valley. Through Sept. 4. $13-$16. (800) 4108354. reaganlibrary.com. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER The exhibit tells the fascinating stories of history’s most famous diamonds and their equally famous owners. The display features the well-known diamond replicas of Scott Sucher and the stunning Historical Figures of artist-historian George Stuart. Museum of Ventura County, 100 E. Main St., Ventura. Through Aug. 24. $3-$4. (805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org. RAINFOREST OF THE AMERICAS Housed within a newly-built 2.2-acre exhibit space this new display replicates a tropical rainforest experience. See and learn about exotic animals like cotton-top tamarins, a Goliath bird eating spider and mata mata turtles as well as endangered species including the Central American tapir, giant river otters and a blue billed curassow. The exhibit showcases various reptile, bird, mammal and fish species that can be found in rainforest areas of Mexico, Central and South America. Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens, Griffith Park, 5333 Zoo Dr., Los Angeles. $18-$15. (323) 644-4200. lazoo.org. THE SNOWY DAY AND THE ART OF EZRA JACK KEATS Enter the evocative world of the groundbreaking children’s book author and illustrator Ezra Jack Keats in this exhibition, featuring over 80 original works by the artist. Ranging from preliminary sketches and “dummies,” or preparatory books, to final paintings and collages, the displayed works explore a life and career that became an inspiration for generations of readers. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Tues.-Sun. through Sept. 7. $7-$10. (310) 440-4500. skirball.org.

SUNDAY, JUNE 8 ROUTE 66: THE ROAD AND THE ROMANCE

Learn the facts and fiction surrounding the most famous road in America through more than 200 artifacts that trace the history of the road and its impact on American popular culture. See the oldest existing Route 66 shield along with vintage gas pumps and neon art. Read from the pages of John Steinbeck’s original handwritten manuscript for “The Grapes of Wrath” and Jack Kerouac’s typewriter scroll of “On the Road.” Be moved by Dorothea Lange’s powerful photographs and Woody Guthrie’s Martin guitar, along with countless objects adorned with the Route 66 moniker or acquired along the route. The Autry National Center, Gamble Firearms Gallery, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. Through Jan. 4. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org.

BUTTERFLY PAVILION A living habitat where hundreds of butterflies flutter among nectar-producing plants. The Pavilion will again be home to California natives and travelers from across North America. But it will have a distinctive subtropical feel as well, with showy new species from the Rio Grande Valley along the Texas- Mexico border. Of the 30 species of butterflies, 20 will be native to the Golden State and 10 will arrive from south Florida and Texas. Natural History Museum, Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Sept. 1. $9-$12. (213) 763-3466. nhm.org. LOST AND FOUND: THE SECRETS OF ARCHIMEDES In 1999, researchers began a project to read the erased texts of the Archimedes Palimpsest— the oldest surviving copy of works by the greatest mathematical genius of antiquity. The exhibition shares the story of the Archimedes Palimpsest’s journey and the discovery of new scientific, philosophical and political texts from the ancient world. The manuscript demonstrates that Archimedes discovered the mathematics of infinity, mathematical physics and combinatorics—a branch of mathematics used in modern computing. Huntington Library, Art Collection and Botanical Gardens, MaryLou and George Boone Gallery, 1151 Oxford Road, San Marino. Through June 8. $15-$23. (626) 405-2100. huntington.org. CHEAP TRICK: I WANT YOU TO WANT ME! The exhibit features guitars played by Rick Nielsen, including his 1952 Fender Telecaster used when performing at Budokan; “Dream

Police” costume and original photographs; original lyrics to several hits; personal correspondence, tour ephemera and photographs. The Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, 4th floor, Mike Curb Gallery, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles. Through June 30. $12-$13. (213) 765-6803. grammymuseum.org. JUST ADD WATER Artworks inspired by the L.A. Aqueduct by Rob Reynolds. Los Angeles-based contemporary artist Reynolds has created 10 original, largescale watercolors that interpret the epic significance of the Aqueduct, through the lenses of history, geography and time. In each, Reynolds references key sites and historical moments aligned with the Aqueduct’s 233mile route and 100-year history. Natural History Museum, Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Through Aug. 3. $9-$12. (213) 763-3466. nhm.org. TIME, SPACE AND MATTER This exhibit brings together six California artists who explore natural phenomena through installation. Using scientific data and techniques, as well as materials and media as varied as wood, glass, metal, video, ice and sound, the artists create five works that are both aesthetically resonant and imminently approachable. Pasadena Museum of Art, 490 East Union Street, Pasadena. Through August 31. $5-$7. Wed.-Sun. (626) 568-3665. pmcaonline.org. Get the Word Out. E-mail your announcements to Claire Fadden, cfadden@lifeafter50.com. Include a brief description, location, date, time, cost, phone and website. Submission does not guarantee publication. Deadline for the June/July calendar is May 1.

Norway in a Nutshell

A living picture postcard you will never forget By Ed Boitano Breathtaking fjords, cascading waterfalls, towering snow-capped mountains, charming sod-roofed farmhouses, blankets of wildflowers and historic ports are all a part of the popular Norway in a Nutshell tours that are a living picture postcard you will never forget. Whether taking in the majestic Norwegian beauty by train, boat or bus, a Norway in a Nutshell tour truly lives up to its name allowing travelers the unique opportunity to experience some of the most spectacular scenery in the world.

Beginning In Bergen

With six tour packages to choose from, ranging from seven to 22 hours, I opted for the eight-hour roundtrip from Bergen. Nestled on the western coast, Hanseatic Bergen boasts endless tourist attractions and can be easily explored in a single day. The Bergen Tourist Card is an essential component to your tour of this historic harbor town. The price allows you free or reduced-price admittance to the Bergen Art Museum, Fantoft Stave Church (a medieval wooden cathedral), a harbor boat tour, Bergen Castle, St. Mary’s Church and Troulhaugen – the home of composer Edvard Grieg. If you’re lucky, you might catch a concert in Troulhaugen’s intimate concert hall, discreetly built into the landscape and overlooking Grieg’s working studio, where he wrote most of his later works. The card also allows free access on city buses, and both the Ulriksbanen Cable Car and Floibanen Funicular, which feature breathtaking views of the city. Not a bad way to start your city tour. Wander through the harbor fish market and down the wooden streets of the historic warehouses at Bryggen (the wharf). While there, do not miss out on a fish buffet where you will dine on Bergen’s world famous fish soup, assortments of smoked and cured Atlantic salmon, fish cakes and hearty breads, all washed down with the city’s own Hansa beer.

Moving On To Myrdal

The next morning, hop on the Bergen Railway, easily one of the most beautiful railways in the world, for the journey up to the mountain village of Myrdal. There’s a sense of excitement at Mydral as everyone hurries onto the platform

in anticipation of the next part of the journey – a transfer onto the Flam Railway. One of the most dramatic and skilled engineering feats in railway history, the Flam Railway’s high-mountain railway track descends down virtual mountainsides. The track had to be laid out on steep inclines and in hairpin bends so that the train could slowly wind its way up and down its almost vertical slopes. Approximately 80 percent of the line has a gradient of 55 percent. The train ride between Mydral and Flam runs down (or up) the wild Flamsdalen Valley and many people find it one of the many highlights of the tour. That is not surprising when you consider that from the comfort of your carriage window, you can gaze out at some of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring scenery in the world.

Finishing In Flam

The train’s final destination is the port of Flam. While there, feast on another buffet in the quaint village and then travel by boat out of the Aurlandsfjord and into the Nærøyfjord – easily the wildest and most beautiful part of the voyage. On the boat from Flam, you will see waterfalls, charming small towns, a Stave church and working farms – some situated on mountains so steep that they once required a ladder to ascend the steep terrain. You will also hear tales from the locals of how, in the days of yore, those ladders mysteriously disappeared when tax collectors made their annual treks to those farms.

Bus On To Voss

Between Gudvangen and Voss, travel by bus through the Nærøyfjord Valley and up the spectacularly steep hairpin bends of Stalheimskleiva with spectacular, almost bird’s-eye views of more waterfalls. At the top of the rocky ascent, there is a short stop to enjoy fantastic panoramic vistas from the viewpoints at the historic and stately Stalheim Hotel, where overnight accommodations are available. At the Fjord Pass there are also many hotels and guesthouses to choose from. Depending on which tour you have chosen, your bus journey will continue from Voss back to Bergen. Norway in a Nutshell tours are available daily all year. For more information click on www.VisitNorway.com or www.VisitBergen.com ª May 2014 LIFEAFTER50.COM 39

SAND, SEA & EXPLORATIONS Compiled by ED BOITanO, Travel Editor DOMESTIC

ALMOST HOME VACATION RENTALS - Our outfitted vacation rentals provide comfortable, home-style accommodations with well-appointed full kitchens stocked with staples and ALASKA RAILROAD covers 500 miles of Alaska’s most stunning scenery. The fabulous rail condiments making them the right choice for travelers, families and fishermen. Enjoy a experience includes premium Gold Star Service to Seward and Denali, comfortable seating in relaxing and affordable place to stay while visiting Ketchikan. Sport fishing and car rentals Adventure Class, and knowledgeable tour guides. The railroad has transported passengers can be arranged. Visit our web page for detailed information, online availability, photos and through Alaska for close to a century. Open year-round, the Alaska Railroad’s adventure pricing at www.Ketchikan-Lodging.com or call toll free at (800) 987-5337. packages and day trips include the finest accommodations and sightseeing tours along the rail belt. (800) 544-0552 or www.AlaskaRailroad.com THE BEACHCOMBER MOTEL ON THE BEACH is nestled on the dramatic Mendocino Coast with direct access to the beach – mc best kept secrets and the ten-mile Coastal Trail. T HE AL ASKA RAIL ROAD With the Pacific Ocean at its front yard, guests enjoy spectacular views from every suite and room. Guests enjoy spacious decks, ideal for watching the sunset or barbecuing your catch of the day. New Pet Suites available. Be sure to visit Glass Beach and MacKerricher State Park. (800) 400-SURF (7873) or www.TheBeachcomberMotel.com

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HAND HELD TRIPS TO THAILAND specializes in unique and personal experiences to Thailand, Bhutan, Myanmar, Malaysia, Indonesia, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, China, Hong Kong and Singapore. With their diverse culture and landscape, these destinations offer the ideal locations for an exotic adventure. Hand Held Trips to Thailand is a veteran-owned small business operated by Lee Porter, SURF & SAND LODGE is located on the beach in Fort Bragg, and Northern California’s spectacular and a returned Peace Corps volunteer. Lee offers a shared experience that suits each individual in his rugged Mendocino Coast – the ideal location to explore Fort Bragg, Glass Beach, Macke richer State Park and small group tours. (571) 244-4363 or www.handheldtripstothailand.com the Mendocino Coast. We have 30 beautiful and luxurious rooms, 24 with an ocean view. We also have rooms NORTHERN EXPOSURE SPAIN - Get Exposed to Northern Spain: world heritage history, amazing with fireplace and spa tub for two. Enjoy the magnificent ocean, whale watching, and beautiful sunsets, all food/wine, unique culture and spectacular nature (with active options). Enjoy the things you love. Take from your own private balcony. (707) 964-9383 or www.surfsandlodge.com pleasure in new experiences. Discover a place you´ve never heard of but won´t soon forget. Private VAGABOND INN VENTURA is located in downtown Ventura only 2 blocks from Historic Old customized itineraries. Ultra small groups (8 max). Capturing the essence of Northern Spain. Sharing Town with its specialty shops, antique stores and Ventura Mission. From our hotel, you can take it like only a local can. (888) 737-8146 or www.NorthernExposureSpain.com the footbridge with pier and beach access. After a long day, go for a swim in our heated pool or relax in our spa. Start your day with our complimentary continental breakfast and free weekday PACIFIC DELIGHT TOURS - Air inclusive China Tours from $2,599*. Explore all of our Asia destinations: newspaper. Enjoy free Wi-Fi and HBO/ESPN. Great value, friendly people- it’s how we do things. China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Myanmar, Indonesia, and India. For more information: Call (800) 221-7179 or visit www.PacificDelightTours.com (805)-648-5371; (800) 522-1555 or www.VagabondInn-Ventura-hotel.com

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And Finally... The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living By Amit Sood, M.D., M.Sc.

Lately, it seems as though everything sets your teeth on edge. The neighbors are way too noisy. Customer service… isn’t. Your children are a bunch of ingrates. And your co-workers? Let’s not go there. You’re over just about everything: overworked, overloaded, and overwhelmed. But when you read “The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living” by Amit Sood, M.D., M.Sc, you might start to feel overall better. In today’s world, it’s nearly impossible not to feel strain. At least that’s how it seems, and it only gets worse as we “get hijacked by impulses, infatuation and fear,” the brain wants to “escape the present moment,” and the mind thinks everything’s a danger. Says Sood, we “struggle with what is,” which is the very definition of stress. Part of the reason for the struggle is that when you’re awake, your brain operates in one of two ways: default or focused. You’ve undoubtedly experienced both. In focused mode, you’re so immersed in the task at hand that you forget about almost everything surrounding you. In default mode, your brain wanders like an idle shopper, moseying from problem to worry to idea, spinning and projecting future scenarios. The key is to teach yourself to stay on “focused” mode and out of the “black hole” of meandering default. Part of that can be done with “attention training,” which has many facets and which “speaks to the child” in you; and by “refining interpretations,” which appeals to the adult within. Learn to pay “joyful attention,” which helps with calming and keeps your mind occupied so it doesn’t wander. Learn patience and how to better relate to others. Free your prejudices in order to “open to the world.” Accept that nothing is perfect and that there are times when forgiveness isn’t required. Begin each day with thankfulness. Learn pride in work. And remember that compassion for others should extend to compassion for yourself. When an institution like the Mayo Clinic attaches its name to a book, you kind of expect it’d be totally serious stuff, right? Nope. Sood has quite a bit of fun in this book, which certainly supports its title and its joyful cover. But first, “The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living” opens in a classroom then turns to the science of the brain, which serves as a nice reminder but – since bookstore shelves are packed with brain books – might be unnecessary for some readers. That’s okay, though, because what comes next is worth it: Sood teaches us to “train” our minds to stress when appropriate, live with acceptance, and appreciate others. This, too, might be repetitious for readers who’ve filled up on motivational-type books such as this one, though I took great delight in this particular handling of the subject. I also liked that Sood didn’t pretend this is easy, but reducing stress and lessening worry sure sound appealing and that’s enough for me. If it is for you, too, then “The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living” is a book you can really sink your teeth into. “The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living” by Amit Sood, M.D., M.Sc.,.2014, DaCapo Lifelong Books, $19.99, 320 pages The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer who lives on a hill with two dogs and more than 12,000 books. You can read all of Terri’s book reviews, updated weekly, at www.lifeafter50.com. Just click on “Entertainment” and then “Book Reviews.”

Photo courtesy Michele Himmelberg, DisneylandNews.com

A Look Back Few amusement park attractions have become as indelibly a part of our nation’s culture as Disney’s It’s a Small World, which opened 50 years ago this month at the 1964 New York World’s Fair. The ride, which features costumed audio-animatronic dolls in the dress of their native lands, frolicking in a spirit of international unity and singing the attraction’s title song, was created by Disney for the fair’s UNICEF pavilion, which was sponsored by Pepsi. The working title of the attraction was “Children of the World” and the original idea for the soundtrack was to feature the national anthems of the countries represented throughout the ride. Walt Disney, feeling that would result in nothing more than cacophonous noise, summoned his staff songwriters, Robert B. Sherman and Richard M. Sherman, and told them he wanted a song that could be easily translated into many languages and be played as a round. When the Sherman brothers ﬁrst presented “It’s a Small World” to the boss, it was played it as a ballad. Disney wanted something more cheerful, and after they sped up the tempo and sang in counterpoint, he was so delighted with the result, he decided to rename the attraction It’s a Small World. Throughout the fair’s run, over 10 million tickets were sold with the proceeds going to UNICEF, and after the fair closed, the attraction was shipped to Disneyland in Anaheim where it was reopened on May 28, 1966. To participle in the venerable attraction’s 50th birthday, you can click on www.smallworld50.com and custom create a virtual doll that mimics the style of the ride’s animatronic dolls and even record your own version of “It’s a Small World.” The Walt Disney Company will donate $1 to UNICEF for every song recorded and doll made, up to $100-thousand. 42 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

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46 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014

It’s the Law Mitchell A. Karasov

Step-Sibling Unrest – Fighting Back After Being Frozen Out

It has been quite a few years since my mother and late stepfather, desiring all their kids to equally inherit their estate, assigned my brother and me to be successor trustees on their living trust. Our mother also selected us as her power of attorney. My step-sisters weren’t placed in charge, because they only showed interest in an inheritance. After my stepfather died, his daughters offered to help and my mom was unusually receptive, although my brother rejected their offer and helped her himself. About a year ago, my brother died and my step-sisters tried once again to help her with the bills, but I, too, hit the brakes. Everything had been going alright until mom became depressed and upset. I suggested she should consider moving to an assisted living community and this set off a string of problems. Her caregivers were fired and when I called my mother, one of my step-sisters answered and said that they won’t let me put her away, and hung up. The security at her gated community told me my mother did not want to see me and, if I entered, I would be trespassing. I called my mother’s attorney and he informed me that he could not discuss anything with me, because my mother had stripped me of all legal powers under her estate plan. I spoke to a couple of estate attorneys and they advised me I don’t have a good chance of changing that, because her attorney drafted new documents and there are no medical records indicating dementia or capacity issues. I called her broker and found out I couldn’t discuss her account with him anymore, because my name was removed from the accounts. I can’t let this go, because I’m afraid my step-sisters won’t care for my mother. Also, I want to protect my late brother’s children’s inheritance. I cannot believe this happened, because I thought everything was in place and now I’m frozen out of everything. Am I really fighting an unbeatable battle?

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Living A Life That Is Really Alive Singer and songwriter Lani Hall Alpert on finding your true voice and self, overcoming challenges and living life to the fullest By David Laurell

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8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Paid Program 10:00 AM - Maloof- Master Woodworker Documentry 11:00 AM - Trading Post 11:30 AM -Polynesian Cultural Center 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM - Concerned Citizens

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM - Bifocals Show 10:00 AM -Protect Your Money 10:30 AM -Senior Living 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM - Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Consumer News 10:00 AM -Healthy Living 10:30 AM -Golf Tips 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Legislative Con. 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Loberg Dental 10:00 AM - Social Securty 10:30 AM -Write Now 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day

TUESDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -GRF May Meeting LIVE 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM - CCA 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM -GRF Meeting

TUESDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -UNITED May Meeting LIVE 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM - CCA 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM -UNITED Meeting

TUESDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -THIRD May Meeting LIVE 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM - Paid Programs 3:00 PM - Loberg Dental 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM -THIRD Meeting

TUESDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Healthy Living 10:00 AM - Woody Brown Documentry 11:00 AM - Trading Post 11:30 AM -Social Security 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM - Concerned Citizens

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM - Bifocals Show 10:00 AM -Wellness In The Woods 10:30 AM -Senior Living 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM - Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Senior Focus 10:00 AM -Healthy Living 10:30 AM -Golf Tips 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Legislative Con. 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -GRF Meeting 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM - CCA

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Loberg Dental 10:00 AM - Social Securty 10:30 AM -Write Now 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -”Itchy Feet” Humorous Travelogue 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Concerned Citizens 5:00 PM -This Day

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Bifocals Show 10:00 AM -Wellness In The Woods 10:30 AM -Senior Living 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Concerned Citizens 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM -GRF Meeting

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Senior Focus 10:00 AM -Senior Living 10:30 AM -Golf Tips 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Legislative Con. 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -UNITED Meeting 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM - Healthy Living Club 6:30 PM - Enough Is Enough

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Paid Program 10:00 AM -Social Security 10:30 AM -Write Now 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Polynesian Cultural Center 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Program 5:00 PM -This Day

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Bifocals Show 10:00 AM -Wellness In The Woods 10:30 AM -Senior Living 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Program 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM -UNITED Meeting

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Consumer News 10:00 AM -Senior Living 10:30 AM -Golf Tips 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Legislative Con. 12 Noon -Loberg Dental 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -THIRD Meeting 5:00 PM -This Day

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Paid Program 10:00 AM -Write Now 10:30 AM -Social Security 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -”Itchy Feet” Humorous Travelogue 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day

WEDNESDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Bifocals Show 10:00 AM -Consumer News 10:30 AM -Senior Living 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day 6:00 PM -THIRD Meeting

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

8:00 AM -Rise & Shine 8:30 AM -This Day 9:30 AM -Paid Program 10:00 AM - Social Securty 10:30 AM -Write Now 11:00 AM -Trading Post 11:30 AM -Paid Program 12 Noon -Paid Program 12:30 PM -This Day 1:30 PM -Trading Post 2:00 PM -Paid Programs 5:00 PM -This Day

All scheduled programming is subject to change.

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To learn about our new home visit 66more LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2014 memorialcare.org/sbcancernewhome

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At Saddleback Memorial, our main goal is to keep cancer from happening in the first place. But when cancer strikes, we fight back harder. The new home of Saturday, June 28, 2014 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. the MemorialCare Cancer Institute at Saddleback • Learn about our prevention and Memorial will offer statescreening programs of-the-art technologies • Tour the new facility and expanded treatment • View special exhibits options in a healing • Meet members of environment that is both our cancer care team comfortable and convenient.

El Toro Road

133 73

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24302 Paseo de Valencia • Laguna Hills, CA 92653