Rooted Joy

“Philippians 1:7 reminds, ‘It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart.’ Becky Harling holds women readers in her heart! In this simple yet superb Bible study, Becky brings the book of Philippians alive, splashes out joy, and knits hearts of friends who gather together over God’s Word.”

—Pam Farrel, author of 58 books, including coauthor of Discovering Good News in John and Discovering Joy in Philippians

“Gather the girls. Rooted Joy is a study through Philippians that will deepen your friendships and faith. Becky Harling leads us into some holy and humbling conversations that will produce unwavering joy despite the hardships of life. is Bible study is a creative and fun adventure toward discovering real and lasting intimacy. It’s a must-read for all friend groups!”

—Jenny Randle, ministry founder of Freedom Creatives and author of Flash eology

“In this fantastic study, Becky Harling does it again. In typical candor and with refreshing illustrations, she spoon-feeds us, her eager daughters, nourishment from the Word. We learn the truest de nition of joy: being with Jesus, being with each other. In an age when lasting friendships seem scarce, this study can help you make those deeper connections that truly satisfy—perhaps for a lifetime!”

—Tabi Upton, host of Mornings with Tom and Tabi, Moody Radio, Chattanooga

“What a fresh approach to studying the Word! If your soul is aching for deep friendship, the stability of the Word, and the strength that only joy delivers, this Bible Study is for you. Becky invites women in all ages and stages of life to come to the table of community and truth in her new book, Rooted Joy. is is an ideal study to do with your daughters, with friends, or with neighbors. And, by the way, you will feel that you have a new best friend in Becky as she shares her heart through the lens of scripture.”

—Carol McLeod, Bible teacher and best-selling author of Meanwhile, Rooms of a Mother’s Heart, and Significant

“As a friend of Becky Harling, I can personally attest that she is a joy to be with! Her connection to Christ is evident in the way she lives and in the way she writes. is Girlfriend Gathering study of Philippians is lled with biblical wisdom and practical application. If you are craving community and longing for joy, Becky is the perfect guide to lead your group of girlfriends into a deeper connection to God and each other. Grab your Bible and gather your friends to experience Rooted Joy together.”

—Rachael Adams, author of A Little Goes a Long Way and host of e Love Offering podcast

“Authentic. Refreshing. Connective. Rooted Joy is an intimate and fresh way to study scripture with your inner circle. In a world lled with chaos and confusion, this generation needs the strength of biblical companionship. Regardless of where you are in your spiritual journey Becky’s stories and prayers will encourage your heart and speak to your soul. is read is perfect for conferences, gatherings, and group study. Grab a co ee and a stack of copies to share with your friends.”

—Tracey Mitchell, international speaker and award-winning author

Other Books

by Becky Harling

Our Father e Extraordinary Power of Praise How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk Listen Well, Lead Better Psalms for the Anxious Heart Who Do You Say at I Am How to Listen So People Will Talk e 30-Day Praise Challenge for Parents e 30-Day Praise Challenge Freedom from Performing Rewriting Your Emotional Script

Prioritizing Your Connection to Christ and Your Friends Rooted Joy

GIRLFRIEND GATHERING STUDY OF PHILIPPIANS

Birmingham, Alabama

Rooted Joy

Iron Stream

An imprint of Iron Stream Media 100 Missionary Ridge Birmingham, AL 35242 IronStreamMedia.com

Copyright © 2023 by Becky Harling

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Iron Stream Media serves its authors as they express their views, which may not express the views of the publisher.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022947200

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. e “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark O ce by Biblica, Inc.™

Cover design by Jonathan Lewis / Jonlin Creative

ISBN: 978-1-56309-617-4 (paperback) ISBN: 978-1-56309-618-1 (eBook)

1 2 3 4 5—27 26 25 24 23

is Girlfriend Gathering is lovingly dedicated to my dear friend Suzanne Kuhn.

Suzanne, you rst caught the vision for these girlfriend gatherings.

You have faithfully prayed and been a fabulous friend.

I love you and cherish our friendship!

CONTENTS

Preface ......................................................................................xi

Introduction to Philippians .....................................................xv

Session 1: e Joy of Friendships ........................................1 Session 2: e Joy of Humility ..........................................25 Session 3: e Joy of Discovering Your One ing ............55 Session 4: e Joy of Peace—Relationally and Internally ...79

Seven-Day Follow-Up Devotional Plan .................................101

Day 1: Celebrate to Experience Joy .................................103 Day 2: Joy Comes from Drawing Continually from the Well of Living Water ............................107 Day 3: e Joy of Loyal Friendship .................................111 Day 4: How Is Joy Possible When Everything Is Going Wrong? ................................115 Day 5: e Joy of Deep Connection ...............................119 Day 6: e Joy of Praying Blessing Over Your Friends ....123 Day 7: Continual Joy Is Contingent on ree Choices....127

PREFACE

Welcome, girlfriends! My guess is that many of you are weary. e last couple of years have been disruptive in so many ways and have left us feeling lonely, disconnected, and discouraged. But I have good news for you—rooted joy is possible!

e key is a rmly grounded relationship with Christ as well as deeply connected relationships with others. We need one another to grow spiritually and remain steadfast in our chaotic world. If your heart is longing for authentic community and true joy, this book is for you.

e vision behind the Girlfriend Gathering Bible studies started when I got together with three of my besties for a girlfriends’ weekend in beautiful Colorado. roughout the weekend we laughed, we cried, and most importantly, we shared our hearts, read Scripture over one another, and prayed together.

My desire for you is that you would experience something similar. I’d love for you to gather with a few of your besties, dive into the Word, share authentically, and pray together. ese little Bible studies are designed so that you can do them in a weekend, or you can use them as a four-week study. Whether you coordinate a weekend away or meet weekly, the point is to do this in community with friends.

Before we go any further, let me take a moment to explain the layout of the book.

What’s Involved?

e study is divided into four sessions (or weeks), and each session will include the following:

Exploration

is section will have a designated passage of Scripture for you to read out loud. Why read the Bible out loud? I’m glad you asked! ere’s power when the Word of God is read out loud, which is why in the Old Testament, Ezra had the Israelites stand and listen while Bible passages were recited (Nehemiah 8:1–3). It’s not that we can’t bene t from reading Scripture silently; we certainly can. However, when we read Bible verses out loud or listen to someone else read them out loud, we might gain new insight that the Holy Spirit wants us to hear.

Reflection

is section is divided into two parts.

• Group Reflection: Let’s Get Real! ese questions are designed to help you vulnerably share your thoughts, dreams, and struggles with the group.

• Personal Consideration. In this section each person is encouraged to get alone with God for at least twenty minutes of silence to re ect on the questions given.

Application

• Invitation. In this section, you’ll consider the question, “What is God inviting me to do?”

• Listen. Each session will include a song for you and your girlfriends to listen to that will prompt your worship.

• Suggested Girlfriend Activities. is section will include di erent activities and experiences for you to enjoy as girlfriends.

• Prayer Time. During this time, you’ll be invited to pray with and for one another.

• Practical Tips. is section will include some practical tips related to the study.

• Additional Scripture Passages. As a part of each session, there will be additional Bible passages for you to look up and meditate on. Take turns sharing which speci c verse stands out to you and why.

• Blessing. At the end of each session, you will nd a written blessing. Have one person read the blessing out loud over your group.

A seven-day devotional plan is included at the end of the book so that you can continue the community you’ve experienced. Each of you can complete the plan individually, but I encourage you to stay in touch with one another to be able to share your thoughts, feelings, and re ections.

Before we go any further, I want to give you just a few quick tips on Girlfriend Gathering etiquette.

Girlfriend Gathering Etiquette

• Listen attentively when others are speaking.

• Refrain from giving advice.

• Empathize with the feelings of your friends.

• Keep in con dence what is shared in the group.

• Learn to ask thoughtful questions.

• Pray for your friends.

Know that I am praying for you and cheering for you as you gather! I believe that God is going to do exceedingly, abundantly beyond all you can imagine as you gather and get into His Word together.

Blessings and Joy, Becky Harling

INTRODUCTION TO PHILIPPIANS

In this particular Girlfriend Gathering, we’ll be looking at the epistle of Philippians together. Are you ready to get started?

e book of Philippians provides the perfect backdrop for rooted joy that is found in grounded relationships. e apostle Paul wrote the book with a dear friend of his, Timothy (Philippians 1:1).

e church in Philippi started by a river (Acts 16:12–13). Jewish law required that there had to be ten men to start a synagogue. Since there weren’t ten Jewish men available in Philippi, the Philippian Jews, most of whom were women, simply gathered by the river on the Sabbath for prayer.1 Paul met them there and shared the gospel with them during his second missionary journey (v. 12). Lydia, a prominent businesswoman, was one of the rst converts, and she opened her home to Paul and his coworkers and supported their ministry (vv. 13–15).

While in Philippi, Paul and his friends were thrown in jail. However, an earthquake hit while they were singing, and amazingly their chains fell o . e jailer guarding them was so shocked that he fell to his knees and asked what he had to do to be saved. He was baptized with his household and became another in uential person in the church (vv. 22–34).

e apostle Paul placed a high value on his relationships, and he deeply loved the believers in Philippi. ey supported him, prayed for him, and enjoyed his company. Paul wrote this letter to express his appreciation, a ection, and a rmation for them.

I love that even though Paul was in prison, he was able to focus on his friends and encourage them! I can’t imagine being thrown in jail, can you? Many of us felt like we were under house arrest during the recent Covid-19 pandemic. At least we could escape without guards to do general grocery shopping or a quick Target pickup, right? As we move through this study, you’re going to see how Paul was lled with unwavering joy despite his circumstances. His resilient joy was rmly rooted in his deep friendship with Christ and his close friendship with the believers in Philippi.

May I invite you? As girlfriends, let’s look at joy through the lens of our relationship with Christ and our friendships with each other.

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:3–6

Session 1 THE JOY OF FRIENDSHIPS

Joy is a banquet table to which we are all invited. e places are set, and the table is filled with the delightful aroma that satisfies our deepest longing for life-giving connections with God and with others. —From the back cover of Joy Starts Here

Iremember the moment so well. I was in upstate New York lming video material for my Who Do You Say at I Am? Bible study. e pressure was on as women began to ll the auditorium. ree of my dearest friends knew the stress I was under and had traveled to support me, as well as to give me advice on clothing and jewelry options. Moments before I was to take the platform, the audio-video guy told me he couldn’t work with my earrings. ey were dangly and would hit the mic and interrupt the sound. One of my friends immediately pulled out her earrings and put them in my ears. I gured they were simple sparkly studs from Target. Boy, was I wrong! Later that evening after the videotaping was over, I gave her the earrings back at which time, she said, “Oh, I’m glad you remembered, because Shawn gave me these diamond earrings for our anniversary!” When I heard that, I freaked out! I

couldn’t believe Suzanne had let me borrow her diamond earrings. But Suzanne laughed, hugged me, and assured me, “ at’s what friends are for!” She also told me, “I didn’t tell you they were diamonds because I knew you wouldn’t borrow them!”

e old song says, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” I would challenge that with “Friends who share their diamonds are a girl’s best friend!”

Did you know that rooted joy is relational in nature? Deep connection with Christ and authentic connection with others is key to ongoing gladness. God designed us for community: friendship with Him and others. As you nurture deep, abiding connection with Christ, your joy is going to expand. Similarly, as you nurture authentic friendships with others, you will feel more joyful.

Community and connectedness go together, and when combined, they boost your joy. ink about it. When you have lunch or co ee with a friend and you both share your hearts, don’t you feel a bit lighter? Or, if your close friends live far away and you connect through a phone call, doesn’t your heart surge with joy and renewed energy? Here’s the thing, according to the experts, “Both the Bible and neuroscience understand joy as a relational experience in which ‘someone is glad to be with me.’”1 Isn’t it amazing when science con rms what God has said all along?

Recently, one of my closest friends called. Jill lives in a di erent state, but we have shared deep friendship for more than twenty years. As we chatted on the phone, I heard updates on some things I had been praying for in Jill’s life. I also shared openly about answers to situations I knew Jill was praying about for me. Together, we shared vulnerably and deeply. I got o the phone and felt about twenty pounds lighter. Not lighter in literal weight, but the burdens I had been carrying felt lighter. My heart was lled with joy, and as I laid in bed that night going to sleep, I

praised God for Jill and for the deep friendship we share. She is a treasure in my life.

As women, we were created for intimate friendships with others, and it seems vitally important to our well-being to have close girlfriends with whom we can journey through life. We need both connection and commitment to experience true community.

ough men need close friends as well, somehow their friendships often look and feel a bit di erent from ours as women. An article in Newsweek pointed this out:

When Elliot Engel watched his wife and her best friend say good-bye before a cross-country move, he found that their last hugs were so painful to witness he nally had to turn away and leave the room. He said, “I’ve always been amazed at the nurturing emotional support that my wife can seek and return with her closest female friends. . . . Her three-hour talks with friends refresh and renew her far more than my three-mile jogs restore me.”2

It’s not that men don’t enjoy close friendships. ey do. It’s just that for us women, close friendships are particularly vital to our emotional well-being. Friends become a sisterhood of support in our darkest moments and a deep wellspring of joy as we journey through life.

While Paul was a man, I believe he shared amazing principles of deep friendship and joy in Philippians. I do wonder whether Paul always treasured his friends or whether he developed that perspective later in life. When I get to heaven, I’ll ask him! Often it seems that when a person is at the end of their life, they long for the treasures of deeply bonded relationships more than material items.

Why don’t you open your Bible? Let’s take a look at this tiny epistle where Paul writes tenderly to his friends in Philippi.

Exploration

Read Philippians 1:1–8.

I’ve noticed on Instagram that the hashtag #bettertogether is trending. What a true statement! Paul wrote the book of Philippians with Timothy, who was a dear friend and spiritual son whom he had mentored. ey really were better together! Paul brought the wisdom of being older, while Timothy likely brought the energy and creativity of being younger. I believe we all need cross-generational friendships like that of Paul and Timothy. I cohost a podcast called e Connected Mom, and while I’m a grandmother, my cohost, Sarah, is much younger and still in the thick of raising her children. I love our friendship and that together we can bridge the generational gap and bring a valuable message to moms.

How does Paul address the believers in Philippi? What is the tone of Paul’s writing?

Circle the word confident in your Bible, found in verse 6. How does it help you when one of your friends is con dent in what God is doing through you? How can we, as girlfriends, boost one another’s con dence?

Circle the phrase I have you in my heart in your Bible, found in verse 7. Often when friends are close, God places them in our hearts. ey are divinely appointed. ink for a moment. What friends has God placed in your heart? What friends does the Holy Spirit prompt you to pray for at unexpected times?

Read Philippians 1:9–11.

What did Paul pray for his friends?

Read Philippians 1:12–26.

In this section, Paul shares positive perspective of his negative circumstances. Remember, he’s in jail. Yet, Paul has the maturity to see that his circumstances are being used by God.

In verses 19–26, we see Paul leaning into the depth of his friendship with the believers in Philippi and their faithful prayers for him. In times of su ering or trial, it’s important to be vulnerable with our friends and to receive the prayer support we need. In your friendship circles, has there been a time when your life circumstances were challenging but your friends surrounded you with prayer? How did that shape the nature of your friendships?